#like most of my stuff is unpacked it's really just organizing it all (boring) and getting rid of boxes/bags of garbage (boring)

[queenerdloser]

my mom: wow i thought you'd be fully unpacked already!

me, an adhd: well. i have a very narrow window of time every day where i have the motivation to do anything. and every time i go to do something somehow i end up with eight more things to do.

[flyonthewallmedstudent]

Re-watching House as a Physician. Pilot Episode. Neurology in the young.

I’d actually recommend this as an exercise.  Re-watching this as a means to motivate studying. It’s truly terrible watching it. So much so, that you want to do it properly or throw shit at the TV. 

If I had students and we couldn’t physically see patients I’d probably tell them what episode to watch and we’d go through the cases together. Go through all the things the team does wrong. Then discuss the things you don’t know yourself.

Because that is actually how you learn best.  Recovering from your mistakes. Identifying gaps in knowledge. 

Unfortunately, all my current students are final years and they do have to see real patients. 

Opening episode: 29 year old female, no past medical history has expressive dysphasia then a first seizure.  How do we know it’s expressive dysphasia?

IN the episode, the patient notices she’s having trouble getting words out, and is able to write. Then has a seizure. Wilson actually has a good introductory statement here. House finds the case boring, this really isn’t boring. If it doesn’t excite a physician it should certainly terrify them. A la house of god, rule number X = Treat the dying young. With urgency. The majority of patients I see in IM are in their 70s-90s, have predictable issues like metabolic syndrome, heart failure, arrhythmias like atrial fibrillation, infections like community acquired pneumonia and dementia. These are my bread and butter. 

More often than not, my primary role is to ensure a dignified end of life care. Many of them come in already at death’s door or will be imminently there. To continue to push them through medical treatment when they no longer have resilience to go through them, is to prolong suffering. 

You can’t predict how someone young will respond even to the most aggressive of treatment. You give them every chance you have. OFten if the young are sick, it’s really bad. With the elderly, a common cold can make them really sick as their body is in decline. 

Young patients with a single organ system issue will usually go to a subspecialty.  Actually any medical subspecialty or IM in general is considered “diagnostic medicine”. It’s just different flavours of it. 

1st seizures: - it’s rare to have a second.  - usually the cause of underlying seizures is infection - follow-up is clinic with neurology. It’s rare to require further.  - we could go into differential seizures, but that’s a whole other post in itself

(Epilepsy only occurs if you have a number of them and this is rare)

In the case of House, they jump straight to cancer like webmd.

Before they do much, she jumps straight to radiation therapy. This is completely unrealistic. This sort of thing requires multidisciplinary teams to pour over all her results and discuss the best way forward. Chemo and radiotherapy are notorious in the general public for having crazy toxicities. For obvious reasons.

It’s weird re-watching these, where medicine is no longer a foreign language. Actually, it’s watching someone for whom English is a new language and they haven’t really gotten it yet. The tense and grammar are all wrong. 

I watched the Queens Gambit - holy fuck is chess a foreign world and language. I know the basics, but none of the strategies. Sicillian sounds like a great name for a tasty pizza. Or something else. 

Anyways, it takes a whole lot of time before they get to differentials. 

Honestly, you would be getting to these the minute you hear the presenting complaint. Then considering how to rule them in and out. For students, always have the surgical sieve in mind. 

Differential diagnosis of expressive dysphasia in a young woman are then addressed in the episode. here’s what they consider: - Aneurysm and stroke (haemorrhagic stroke in this case if we’re talking aneurysm), incidentally most common cause of berry aneurysms is high blood pressure. this is a decent consideration. but you would have seen it on imaging from the start. 

- CJD = very much mad zebra. I wouldn’t even suggest this. You would if it was rapid onset dementia or behvarioural changes and they came from high risk areas (eg ate burgers in the UK in the 1980s and 90s). But rapid meaning weeks to months. Not sudden onset within minutes. It’s more stroke.  - Cncephalopathy: requires an LP to go over this, and she doesn’t present with a fever either. regardless, important to consider. would always consider an LP in addition to imaging.  - Wernicke’s: only consider if they have a nutritional disorder like severe, chronic anorexia (which she doesn’t have) or heavy alcohol use. This is caused by thiamine/VitB1 deficiency. A thiamine level test takes days or weeks. We would never wait for a thiamine test to come back, you’d treat IV thiamine straightaway. I mean it’s vitamin B. This is a terrible differential to consider so near the top. She also doesn’t really have the other symptoms.

Then there’s the more obvious differentials they didn’t bother to consider: The greatest mimic for a stroke particularly in young women is migraine. You can have similar neurology, but it’s often associated with a headache.  If we wanted to chase zebras in the young, you could consider a PFO (holes in the heart that are congenitally there) and thromboemboli causing stroke. (In other words, you develop a clot, normally the lungs will pick up the clot like a filter before it gets to the brain. But the clot can bypass the lungs via holes in the heart and give you a stroke). This is always the consideration in cryptogenic strokes (in which you have a young patient without any reason for having an atheroma causing stroke). Risk factors for thromboemboli can include the oral contraceptive pill (estrogen can be thrombogenic) and then long periods of immobility, think long haul flights or trauma to the long bones or surgery. IN rare cases, those who had particular types of heart surgery as an infant, like a Fontan’s. But this is very niche mind you. And they’re often already on preventative therapy. Infection is a key thing to consider, where there are risk factors. she’s not immunosuppressed or done any exotic travel or eaten raw foods she shouldn’t have eaten (raw pork, bad sushi etc.). It’s a shame they didn’t mention it early. THere’s a few infections that go to the brain but you’d often have these in mind with the risk factors as stated before. THe imaging is often a giveaway

Learning point here - always eat cooked pork! Finally, cancer. But it’d be obvious on imaging if you’d already developed seizures or focal neurology, the lesions would already be large enough to pick up. the sad part to many brain tumours is that they’re already very large by the time of presentation. Beau Biden for instance, presented with acute confusion before his diagnosis, preceding that he had weakness and altered sensation (the lesion was likely too small at the time to be picked up on imaging and was diagnosed as a stroke). 

I would rarely be referred brain tumours, the emergency department will have scanned the brain and seen something that would prompt referral to the neurosurgeons. When you’re young and have a lesion/tumour, any team will try everything, including majority surgery, to salvage what life is left. it is very tragic. 

Anyway, stopping here. Already too much stuff to dissect and unpack from just the first episode alone. Note that I’m in IM, no doubt a neurologist or neurosurgeon will have different opinions on this episode. Ha. 

[robinrunsfiction]

Baby, You’re A Haunted House

Pairing: Gerard Way x Female Reader Rating: General (TW for blood, mentions of a suicide) Requested By: None Word Count: 6,330 Author’s Note: Here is my first story for spooky season! I had hoped to have it up sooner, but life has been busy. This story has been in my mind since this spring. I intend on writing a little bit about the location it’s set in because it’s real! It really is a seminary that was converted into apartments in my hometown. I’ll link to the post here when it’s written. And yes, that is a picture of it below!  Also!!! There is a reference to another one of my favorite bands and one of their albums, first person who can correctly point it out wins... a prize? My admiration? Not sure yet, but shout it out if you know it!

It all seemed too good to be true.

(YN)’s roommate had let her know that she was going to be moving out of town for a new job and the thought of looking for a new apartment or roommate was overwhelming. She was dreading the process, but the next day while eating her lunch at work, she spotted an ad in the paper for Holy Name Heights. The description stated the apartments were newly renovated and located in a historic building on the edge of town, so she called right away to set up a tour.

Later that week she was touring the building that had previously been a seminary for many years. The diocese had sold the second and third floors of the sprawling building to a developer who converted the rooms into apartments, while leaving the first floor as office spaces for the diocese, a Catholic charity organization, and a small museum about the history of the church’s presence in the area.

“This place is beautiful,” (YN) marveled at the space. While being only one bedroom, it was spacious, had a washer and dryer so she wouldn't need to haul her laundry anywhere, assigned parking, not to mention a beautiful view, but a question nagged at the back of her mind. “How much is it per month?”

“$850 per month including utilities,” the agent replied with a smile.

“Oh! Ok, yes, I’d love to apply!”

A few weeks later as (YN) was moving her things into her brand new third floor apartment, she realized how quiet the building was. She paused briefly at each door as she walked by, straining to hear if anyone else was there. As she arrived at her own door with another armload of boxes, the door next to hers opened and a dark haired man stepped out. She shot him a quick smile as she fumbled for her keys. 

“Do you need some help?” He asked.

“That’d be great,” she laughed and he took the box from her so she could get her keys straightened out. “I’m (YN).”

“Gerard,” he replied as she got the door open and took the box back from him.

“Have you lived here long?”

“Just moved in last weekend. I’m glad I’m not the only one up here anymore.”

“Wait, seriously? None of these other apartments are occupied?”

“I don’t think so, I haven’t seen many people around. I guess an old seminary might be kind of a hard sell.”

“Yea, I’m not sure I would have considered it either if I wasn’t in a bind. Thanks for the help with the box,” (YN) smiled as she shifted it in her arms.

“No problem, I’ll see ya around,” he smiled before continuing down the hall.

“See ya,” she called after him. (YN) closed the door behind her and shook her head. Cool apartment, good price, cute neighbor. It all seemed too good to be true.

~

The next day (YN) got up, made a pot of coffee and set about unloading the box that held her mug collection. The fact that she didn’t have to share cupboards with a roommate delighted her, as she didn’t have to worry about any of her favorites getting damaged. She put on some music and made her way over to the living room window as the smell of brewing coffee filled the room. 

Her view was of the front of the building. Trees with bare branches lined the hillside that the building sat upon and a long driveway led up to the front of the building. She loved knowing that the leaves would soon be filling those branches, and then in the fall they’d turn beautiful shades of gold, red and orange. She also liked the idea of being able to see who was coming and going up the driveway. 

After enjoying her coffee, she got back to work unpacking her apartment. The hours flew by as the pile of broken down cardboard boxes piled up near her door. As she wiped her sweaty brow, she realized she had no idea what to do with the boxes and trash that had accumulated. Had the agent even shown her where the dumpsters were? Then she had an idea. Gerard.

Should she bother him? She didn’t even know for sure if he was in. She took a deep breath as she approached his door and knocked. She wondered how long she should wait if he wasn’t there, or didn’t want to answer. She’d never interacted much with the neighbors at her old apartment building, so maybe she was being totally obnoxious. (YN) was so deep in her own thoughts that she almost didn’t notice that the door was opening.

“Hey (YN), what’s up?”

“Hi, umm this is probably super dumb, but I don’t know where the recycling bins and dumpsters are. The agent never pointed them out, and I didn’t think to ask until I realized I was knee deep in broken down boxes,” she laughed nervously.

“I can help you carry boxes down,” Gerard offered with a smile.

“You don’t have to do that,” (YN) could feel herself blushing.

“It’s no problem.”

“I mean, if you insist!” (YN) laughed and he followed her back to her door. They each took an armload of boxes and Gerard led the way to the staircase that was at the end of the hallway next to his apartment. (YN) glanced over her shoulder at the dark portion of the staircase that led up to a door, most likely the attic. She quirked an eyebrow in curiosity but continued after Gerard.

“So what do you do?” (YN) asked, breaking the silence that hung between them as they headed down the stairs.

“I’m a comic book writer,” he replied almost sheepishly.

“Oh wow, that’s really cool,” (YN) replied genuinely and Gerard lit up.

“Thanks! A lot of people think it’s kinda lame, but it’s just a different type of writing, ya know?” (YN) nodded in agreement. “What do you do?”

“Boring office work,” she said shaking her head. “I wish I had time to do creative stuff like write or draw.”

“You should try, even if it’s just a little bit at a time,” he said as he opened the door leading out into the bright sunshine. “The dumpsters are back here.”

“Thanks,” (YN) smiled as she dropped her share into the recycling bin. "And maybe I'll try to find some time to write, if inspiration strikes."

"You'd be surprised how ideas can pop up when you least expect them," Gerard replied as they made their way back to their floor.

~

Winter started to melt into spring, and (YN) had settled into the routine of her new apartment life. Or at least she thought she was. 

It quickly became clear that she must have been a lot more absentminded than she realized, and her old roommate must have been picking up her slack. She could have sworn she had more milk left when she put the carton back in the fridge, but when she grabbed it the next morning for her cereal there was almost none left. And then there were all the things that just seemed to disappear for no reason that never reappeared, no matter how hard she looked.

One thing that didn’t seem to disappear was her crush on her neighbor Gerard. Interacting with him also became part of her routine, as it always seemed they were running into each other walking into the building or by the mailboxes.

It just happened that it was one of those lucky days, as (YN) had just walked in with her bags from grocery shopping when Gerard walked by. 

“Hey (YN),” he smiled. 

“Gerard,” (YN) started, trying to stifle a laugh. “ I’m not trying to be mean, but do you know how to cook? I feel like I’ve only ever seen you with take out, but never groceries,” she said nodding to her own bags.

“I know how to cook! I am a functional adult,” he replied with feigned offense.

“If you say so, enjoy your dinner,” (YN) replied as she entered her apartment.

“I’ll prove it to you,” he called just as she was about to shut the door.

She poked her head out the door, eyebrows raised. “Oh really?”

“Tomorrow night? 7 o’clock?”

“I’ll be there,” she replied with a smile. When the door was shut behind her, she couldn’t help but let out a squeal of delight.

The next evening (YN) was digging through her drawers looking for the sweater she wanted to wear to dinner with Gerard, but she absolutely could not find it. 

“This is crazy, I know I saw it when I was putting away laundry,” she muttered to herself. She got up and went over to the closet housing the washer and dryer, in hopes it had just fallen between the machines, or maybe was still in the dryer. She looked all around but found nothing, and trudged back to her room.

‘Wait, I didn’t turn the light off,’ she said, flipping the switch back on with a shake of her head. “I need to get more sleep.”

Giving up the search, she threw on a different top and checked the time. It was a few minutes past 7 and she hurried out the door.

“Welcome to my humble home,” Gerard said with a smile as he let (YN) in.

“Hmm, seems familiar,” (YN) giggled. “Oh dinner smells great!”

“Thank you,” Gerard smiled proudly. “We’ll be having spaghetti and meatballs. Umm, I don’t drink, so I have soda or water,” Gerard offered.

“Water is fine,” (YN) replied as she sat down at the table. “How’d you day go?”

“Good, I think I have a new story I wanna work on,” he answered as he placed plates on the table and sat down himself. “How about you.”

“Pretty boring actually. I’ll have to admit, knowing that we’re gonna be having dinner got me through my day.”

Gerard smiled and (YN) could have sworn she saw a blush creeping across his cheeks as he glanced down. "I'm glad I could help."

Conversation lulled as they dug into their meals, and The Smashing Pumpkins played softly in the background.

"Ok, I have to apologize for that dig yesterday about you not cooking, this is very good,” (YN) smiled.

"I have to admit, I bought the sauce, and the meatballs were frozen," Gerard winced.

“That’s fine! I do the same,” she laughed and Gerard looked relieved.

(YN) was having a wonderful time hanging out with Gerard and she felt like she could listen to him talk forever. He spoke with such passion and enthusiasm, it drew her in and she hung on his words. They laughed and joked and the time flew by until (YN) found herself stifling a yawn and she glanced down at her watch.

"Oh, it's late! I should get outta your hair."

“Well m’lady,” he said, affecting the same posh accent they had been joking around in earlier and bowing before her, “I do hope this evening has lived up to all your expectations.”

“It most certainly has,” she said with a laugh as she curtseyed holding out an imaginary skirt. 

Gerard reached out and took her hand in his and placed a kiss to the back of it, catching her off guard as he looked up at her from behind his lashes. "I hope we can do it again sometime soon."

(YN) nodded. "Yea," she said almost breathlessly. "I'd love that."

Gerard walked her to the door and when she glanced back at him when she reached her own door, he was leaning against his door frame.

"Night," she waved before walking into her apartment and he smiled and waved back.

(YN) could hardly sleep that night, as she was absolutely buzzing.

~

Weekly dinners soon became a tradition between (YN) and Gerard, with both of them taking turns hosting the other. (YN) knew she was terrible at both flirting and picking up when others were flirting with her, but she couldn't help but feel like Gerard might just like her too.There was something about the way his friendly hugs and touches started to linger longer and longer.

One night when they had been hanging out Gerard had casually mentioned going to hang out with his brother on his birthday, so (YN) took it upon herself to bring him his present before he left that day. As she stood at his door, she felt just as nervous as the first time she was at his door asking for help with her boxes. Once again she was totally lost in thought when Gerard opened the door.

"Hey (YN)!" He greeted her.

"Hi! Happy birthday!" She smiled, holding out the plate of chocolate chip cookies and the card she picked out just for him. 

"You remembered my birthday?" He asked, his eyes going wide and pink dusting his cheeks.

"Of course I did!" She laughed. “How could I forget?” She added a little more softly.

The smile grew on Gerard’s face and (YN)’s heart fluttered. “Thanks,” he finally replied, shaking his head. “Hey (YN), I was wondering, if umm, you’d like to maybe like go out on a date, like a real date some time? Don’t feel like you have to say yes just because it’s my birthday.”

(YN) laughed again, and she could feel herself blushing. “Yea, that would be really nice,” she nodded. “And I definitely would have said yes, even if it wasn’t your birthday.”

“Great!” Gerard grinned, but the buzzing of his phone grabbed his attention. "Oh, Mikey's here."

"Have fun with him," (YN) smiled and waved as she turned to go while Gerard grabbed his jacket and keys.

"Wait," Gerard said as he locked the door and jogged over to her, just as she was reaching her door. She looked up at him expectantly and he seemed nervous again before leaning in and placing a chaste kiss on her cheek. "Thanks again for the card."

"No problem," (YN) smiled before ducking into her own apartment to swoon.

~

A few days later, it was finally the day of their first date. Gerard suggested they go to the art museum and grab coffee. Even though they hung out all the time, the fact that this was actually a date made things ever so slightly awkward. As they walked into the museum, their hands brushed a few times before Gerard took her hand in his. She glanced over and smiled up at him and he seemed relieved. They chatted and joked happily as they walked through the exhibits before they went down the street to the cafe.

Finding a table tucked away from the others, they settled in with their coffees. The sun that had been shining when they walked in was soon covered in dark heavy clouds, and big heavy raindrops began to beat at the windows. Something about it made a shiver run down (YN)'s spine, a feeling she’d almost grown accustomed to.

"Gerard, can I ask you something kinda weird?" She asked when there was a lull in the conversation.

"Sure," he nodded.

(YN) sighed and looked down. "This is gonna sound crazy, and maybe I'm going crazy, but sometimes things get moved in my apartment, or I feel like someone or something is watching me. I've checked every inch of it and there's nothing there, but I dunno. Have you ever felt that in your apartment?" She finally looked up and was startled by Gerard's expression.

"Yea," he said softly, a look of unease on his face. "I totally know what you mean. I notice it when I’m at your place mostly, but sometimes when you come around," he trailed off.

"But, I mean, ghosts and stuff aren’t real though, right? Like It’s probably just the vibe of it being an old building.”

“Yea,” Gerard nodded with a tight smile. “Ghosts aren’t real, vampires aren’t gonna hurt you, zombies aren’t gonna eat your brain while you’re at the mall.”

“Right! You are right. I’m sure it will pass.”

After the rain stopped, they headed back to their building and headed up to the third floor, stopping in front of her door.

“I had a lot of fun today,” (YN) smiled.

“Me too,” Gerard nodded. “I, I really like you (YN). I hope we can do this again.”

(YN) grinned and nodded. “I really like you too Gee, and yes I’d really love to go out again as well.”

Gerard’s face lit up, any nervousness alleviated. He reached up, cupping her cheek gently, as her eyelids fluttered closed. He leaned in and pressed his lips against hers softly, before pulling back just as quick.

“I can’t wait to do that again,” Gerard whispered.

“Then do it again,” she replied.

Gerard didn’t hesitate for a second longer, leaning back in and kissing her deeply as she kissed back. His hand found her waist as she clutched his jacket. When they finally pulled back, they were both breathless and smiling.

(YN) knew that it was the start of something special.

~

Summer arrived with warm weather and abundant sunshine, but that didn’t stop the cold drafts that would breeze through (YN)’s apartment, even when the air conditioning was off. But then the noises started. Thumps and knocks in the middle of the night, jolting her awake. Once she was convinced someone was hammering frantically on her door. In the middle of the night. She jumped out of bed and rushed to the door, checking through the peephole to see who was there. But there was no one. 

The solution that seemed to be working best was spending as much time away from the apartment, specifically out with Gerard. From picnics in the park, to going to movies, cafes, wandering around book stores or comic book shops for hours, (YN) loved every moment of it.

One evening they were watching a movie in her apartment, happily curled up on the couch together when the thumps in the wall began behind them.

“What was that?” Gerard asked, startled.

(YN) sighed. “No idea. It’s been like this for a while now. I called the maintenance guy, but he doesn't think anything is in the walls. It’s why I’ve been so tired lately, I haven’t been sleeping, like at all.”

“Do you wanna come stay over at my place tonight? Maybe you’ll sleep better,” he offered.

(YN) smiled back at him. “Ok sure,” she nodded. When the movie was over, she changed into pajamas and they made their way back over to his apartment for the night. The next morning when she woke up, she stretched and sighed happily as Gerard held her close.

“Sleep well?” Gerard asked sleepily.

“Mmhmm,” she replied, looking up at him. She reached up and brushed away the hair that was falling across his face. “Best I have in a long time.”

“You’re welcome here anytime you want, sugar,” he said leaning in and kissing her sweetly.

"I worry that I'll overstay my welcome if I’m over here that often," (YN) laughed.

"Not possible, sugar," he said with a smile. "I love getting to spend my nights with you. Days too. I guess what I’m trying to say is I love you, (YN)."

“I love you too Gerard,” she replied before leaning in and kissing him deeply.

~

September arrived and Gerard was going to be gone for the weekend with a few of his friends on a guy’s trip for his brother Mikey’s birthday. (YN) was a little nervous at first about being alone at night, to the point where she was considering going to visit her parents for the weekend. Surprisingly, she was able to sleep through the night without any noises or strange occurrences waking her up.

The next morning she got up and went to retrieve a mug from the cupboard for her morning coffee. Without warning, a glass flew down from the top shelf, smashing into her forehead. (YN) yelped in surprise and stumbled back, glass shards littering the floor. Tentatively she reached up and touched just above her brow and when she pulled back, her fingers were covered in blood.

"Shiiiiit," she groaned as she carefully stepped over the broken glass on the floor and made her way to the bathroom. Flipping on the light, she felt nauseous at the sight. Blood dripping from the gash landed and streaked down her cheek like tears, accenting the dark circles under her eyes that she just couldn't shake after so many nights of interrupted sleep. She looked like death.

"Gee must really love me if this is what he's looking at every day," she muttered as she dabbed away at the blood with a washcloth.

A few hours later while walking out the emergency department with a fresh set of stitches, she decided she may as well fill in Gerard.

Happy friday! guess where i just left!

From Gerard 💖: Work let you take a half day?

Hospital 😬 

She dropped her phone back into her purse as she made her way across the parking lot, but by the time she got the door unlocked, Gerard was calling her.

"What happened?!" He asked frantically as soon as she picked up.

(YN) sighed. "A glass fell out of my cupboard and I got a cut above my eyebrow. Just a couple stitches and I wanted to make sure they got all the glass out," she replied, downplaying the accident. She knew he'd be back in a few days and he'd know she wasn't telling the whole truth about the cut, but she didn't want him to worry or end his trip early.

"But you're ok? Do you want me to come back?"

"Yes, I'm ok. But no, don't cut your trip short, I'm gonna go straight over to my parents for the rest of the weekendI think. It's one thing when we're losing sleep with weird noises, it's another to be attacked like this."

"You… you think," he sighed, seeming to be choosing his words carefully. "That a ghost did it?" Gerard asked in a hushed tone.

"If the glass was off balance and simply fell out of the cupboard it would have gone straight down. This was thrown at me, Gee. There was force behind it."

"Fuck," Gerard muttered. "I'm sorry sugar."

"Don't worry, I'm ok, I promise."

~

(YN) was grateful that Gerard believed what she told him about the haunting of her apartment. He could have easily dismissed her or her fears as crazy and ghost her, but he didn't. He was just as concerned about the situation and her wellbeing. After that weekend they began talking about moving out as soon as their leases were up. 

It had been a couple weeks when Gerard had a meeting in the city that was going to run late into the evening, so (YN) was stuck spending the night alone in her own apartment for the first time since the attack.

As she got in bed, she wondered how long it would be before she would be woken up at night. The noises always managed to cut right through her slumber to wake her, no matter how exhausted she was when she fell asleep. And exhausted she was as her eyelids were heavy as soon as her head hit the pillow.

She wasn't sure what time it was when the noise woke her up, but she sat up in bed and looked at the ceiling. It sounded like skittering, and she wondered if it might be something as innocent as an animal stuck in the attic. 'Wouldn't it be something if it was some animal all along,' she thought as she laid back down and closed her eyes again.

What felt like only moments later she opened them again, but she was not in her room. She wasn’t even in her apartment.

“Gerard?”

He looked up from where he was sitting on the floor in front of his couch with a look of concern and fear on his face unlike any she had seen before. “(YN), are you ok?”

“No, I’m- why am I in your apartment?”

“I was asleep and some noise up in the attic woke me up, but before I could fall back asleep there was this loud bang and I went up to check what was going on because it sounded different from anything before, and you were up there on the floor like you fainted. You didn't even stir until just now when you woke up.”

(YN) shook her head. “I heard the noise too, but I went back to sleep, I didn’t even get out of bed, I went right back to sleep until I just woke up here. What could have made me faint if I wasn't even awake and can’t remember what I saw?”

Gerard ran his hand through his hair, considering her question and when he spoke, his voice shook slightly. “I… I dunno (YN). After I brought you down from the attic, I went back to your apartment so I could put you in your own bed and your door was locked.”

“But that’s not possible unless I took my keys and locked it behind me. Should we go up and look for them upstairs?”

“No!” Gerard said quickly. “I mean, I don’t want to make you stay here if you don’t want, we can call the maintenance line to let you in, but I don’t wanna go up there again. Tonight, I mean.”

(YN) climbed off the couch and sat next to him on the floor. “I’ll stay here, you know that's fine but,” she paused, taking a deep breath. “What did you see up there Gee?”

He shook his head, looking down at his hands. “We can talk about it in the morning? It’s late.”

(YN) swallowed hard and nodded. "Yea, that's a good idea."

Gerard got up, offered her a hand, helping her up. He placed a kiss to the back of her hand before leading the way to his room.

(YN) always felt safe with Gerard's arms wrapped around her holding her tight, but it was still a very poor night of sleep for both of them. The next morning (YN) and Gerard were sitting in his living room, sipping coffee in silence before (YN)'s curiosity got the best of her.

"Can you tell me what you saw up there now?" (YN) asked suddenly. 

Gerard looked up at her, the dark circles under his eyes matching hers. He sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. "Do you really wanna know?"

(YN) nodded. "I wanna understand what happened last night. Well as much of it as I can."

Gerard drew a deep breath. "Ok. I went up there when I heard the second bang. I was kinda surprised the door was open. And then I was shining my flashlight around and," he drew in a breath and shook his head. "I thought I saw someone at the far end of the attic, but my flashlight went through him. I started to panic and that's when I realized you were on the floor. I grabbed you and carried you back down here and, well you know the rest."

"You saw the ghost?" (YN) asked, her voice cracking with fear.

Gerard nodded solemnly. "I think so."

~

Gerard's words kept ringing through (YN)'s mind. There was no denying it now, she was being haunted by a ghost. She was, generally speaking, freaked out about the whole situation, but also a little curious. That's when she remembered the museum on the first floor.

The space was small, no larger than an office. Shelves were filled with books and bibles, and old black and white photos lined the walls, but one picture stood out as different from the rest. An elderly woman stood before it, gazing up at the portrait of the young man.

"Excuse me, do you know any of the history of this building?"

The elderly woman tore her eyes off the photo and looked back at (YN). "Well, I should say I do. What can I help you with?"

"I don't know how to ask this delicately, but, umm, is there any reason to believe that it might be haunted?"

The elderly woman nodded slowly. "Well, yes, I suppose there would be," she replied before glancing back at the portrait. "This was my brother, Joshua. He was in the seminary and was going to become a priest when he met her."

"Her?"

"Elenora. She was beautiful," she paused, studying (YN) for a moment, "actually you remind me of her. But he was so conflicted, he wanted to be a priest, but he was so enchanted by her. He convinced himself, and her, that the only way they could be together was in death."

"Oh no," (YN) gasped.

She nodded. "They were to jump together from the roof. He went first, she never went."

"I'm so sorry," she replied softly.

"It was 60 years ago. I had known Elenora my whole life, so I blamed myself for introducing her into his life, but I didn't blame her! I still don't. I don't admit this to many people, but we're still friends."

"You have a very forgiving heart," (YN) smiled. "Thank you for telling me all that."

She nodded. "That is what I am here for," she replied as she walked around to a small desk and picked up a dust rag before turning back to one of the shelves.

(YN) made her way back to her apartment and shut the door. "Joshua, if that's you, please leave me alone," she said. 

Nothing happened and (YN) shrugged.

~

The cool fall weather settled in and October was filled with the warm glow of red, yellow, and orange leaves on the trees outside, but by Halloween, the branches were blown bare, leaving dark, imposing branches reaching toward the sky.

Gerard's friend Frank invited them to his house for a Halloween party, and to celebrate his birthday.

A night out, dressed as Bonnie and Clyde, was exactly what they both needed after all the time they spent living in a real life haunted house for almost a year now. (YN) also loved spending time with Gerard's friends. They quickly made her feel welcome and made her future with Gerard seem even better.

It wasn't too terribly late when they decided to call it a night and headed home. "I'm gonna go change and I'll be over," (YN) said before heading into her apartment. Gerard nodded and headed to his own door.

She kicked off her shoes and dropped her jacket over the back of the chair when she felt a cold rush of air blow past her. She closed her eyes as a shiver ran through her whole body. When she opened them, again the cold air was surrounding her, wind blowing her skirt around as a freezing rain started to pelt her arms and face. Frantically she looked around, realizing she was on a rooftop. Before she could get her bearings, phantom hands were on her, pushing and pulling her toward the edge.

"No! No! Get off of me! Let go!" She screamed, flailing her arms, trying to shake off the attack. She seemed to break free and started to run toward the hatch to the attic.

The hands grabbed her ankle and sent her tumbling to the rough surface of the roof. When she looked over her shoulder, a figure made of a shadowy mist was pulling her by the leg toward the edge.

"No! Stop it! No!" She screamed again, her hands scratching at the roof, trying to make purchase.

From behind her she heard a bang. She looked up and saw Gerard at the opening to the attic. "(YN)!"

"Gee! Help!"

"Let her go!" Gerard commanded as he ran to (YN), pulling her off the ground and wrapping her in his arms protectively. She buried her face against his shoulder as she clutched his shirt. "Are you ok? I got you sugar, you’re safe now."

"No, no I'm not ok," she sobbed.

"Come on, let's get inside."

Gerard helped her down the ladder and carried her down the stairs to his apartment. He set her down in the bathroom and set to work cleaning the cuts across her hands, legs, and feet.

"Gee, I don't wanna stay here tonight, I can’t stay here anymore, I have to move or I’m gonna end up dead!" (YN) cried as Gerard wiped the blood away from her palm.

"I know sugar, I'll get you cleaned up and we'll go find a hotel room tonight, ok?" (YN) sniffled and nodded in agreement. “And then in the morning we’re gonna find a new place to live, you and me.”

(YN) had been watching as he worked, but hearing him say that she looked up at him. “Together? Even after all this? What if it follows me?!"

He reached up and wiped away the tears that were rolling down her cheek. “Together. Nothing's gonna come between us, not even a ghost."

A smile finally broke across her face as he placed bandages on the worst cuts. Then she finally changed out of her soaked and bloodied Halloween costume and into a pair of Gerard's sweatpants and an old hoodie. She didn't have shoes, but she didn't care. She wasn't going back into her apartment until the day she was going back to pack it up and move out. And even then, she was considering hiring someone to do it for her.

"Ready to go?" He asked when she walked out of his room.

"Let’s get away from here," she nodded and he took her hand. They hurried through the cold rain to his car and she sighed as she sunk into the passenger seat. She finally felt free.

Gerard started down the long tree-lined drive when suddenly a large tree limb came crashing down in front of them. (YN) screamed as Gerard slammed on the breaks.

"Shit! Are you ok?" He asked breathlessly.

"Look!" She whimpered, pointing a shaking finger out the window. Gerard looked as well at the ghastly figure on the other side of the branch. Gerard put the car in park and unbuckled his seatbelt.

"Gee, what are you doing? Gee? Gerard! Stop it, get back in here!" She cried frantically as he got out of the car. Not knowing what else to do, she scrambled out as well.

"Give her to me!" The phantom wailed, striking cold terror through her. "I gave my life for my love, she belongs to me!"

"This is not your love!" Gerard shouted back.

She moved to stand next to Gerard, interlacing her fingers with his. "I'm not Elenora! I've never done you wrong!" She pleaded. "Gerard is my true love! Let us pass!"

The phantom's face contorted, snarling, teeth growing long, fingers becoming claw-like. (YN) screamed in fright as Gerard stepped in front of her. As the ghost launched at them, headlights came up the drive, shining bright in their eyes, and the phantom faded into nothing.

The other car stopped and the driver got out. "Need help moving that branch outta the way? Woah, you two look like you've seen a ghost," the man laughed.

Gerard shook his head and looked back at (YN) sympathetically. "Well, it is Halloween."

~

A few months later (YN) and Gerard had settled into their new place. There was nothing in the new place that (YN) would describe as too good to be true. Their commutes were longer, they had to go to the laundromat to do laundry, and they were paying more in rent, but they were together and they finally had peace. And that was worth every penny.

“Hey Gee,” (YN) said as she padded into the living room one Saturday afternoon, holding something behind her back.

“Yea sugar?”

“So I’ve been working on something. I’m not sure it’s any good, but I think it’s finally ready for you to look at.”

Gerard sat up and looked up at her curiously. “What is it?” (YN) handed him a binder. “The Haunting on Holy Name Hill."

“A long time ago, back when we first met, you said I should try writing or drawing if I’m interested in it because you never know when inspiration will strike, and since moving out of that awful place I’ve been trying to wrap my head around everything that happened. So I started writing about it," she shrugged. "I fictionalized some of the events and changed our names, but can you read it and tell me if it’s any good?”

“(YN) I’m so proud of you,” he said with a smile as he got up and wrapped her in a hug. “I’m gonna read it right now.”

“If you insist. I’m gonna go to the laundromat.”

A while later when (YN) came back, Gerard wasn’t on the couch where she’d left him. “Hey Gee, did you finish reading it yet?”

“Yep,” she heard him reply as he came back from the second bedroom they’d set up as his office. “And I have something to show you too.”

“What’s that?”

“First of all, wow, the story is so well written!” he grinned.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously, you’re a natural! And second, look,” he said handing her a stack of drawings.

“What are these?”

“I was thinking, if you want, we could pitch your story as a graphic novel and these are some drawings I did when I was reading it. This is your character, this one is me.”

“Gee, these are amazing! And you really think that it’s publishable?”

“I really do,” he nodded.

“Ok yea, let’s do it. Other than being the place where we met, there should be some kind of good that comes from that awful place. And maybe serve as a warning to everyone else about things that seem too good to be true."

[justkending]

Just Roommates. Chapter 27.

Series Summary: These two college friends have had years to grow together. Each being the others support system, adventure buddy, movie night partner, and dorky roommates. That is until things start coming to a new light in their relationship. At least for him… Is there something else there? Is it possible? Were these feelings always there?

Pairing: (Modern) Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warning: Fluff, Adulting, sexy-times mentions, language.

Word Count: 2700+

A/N: This is a very simple chapter, but I needed it for the next chapter:) Hope you enjoy!!

Chapter 27:

"That's perfect right there! Thank you!"

Y/N was instructing the movers bringing in the last of their furniture while her and Wanda started unloading items for the kitchen. Steve, Sam, Clint, Wanda, and Vision had all pitched in their cars as ways to help with moving the smaller boxes from their flat. Nat and Maria were going to be there within the next hour.

Bucky was out by the cars with Steve bringing in a few more hauls of the boxes.

"So, when's the engagement party?" Steve asked.

"I honestly think Y/N's just going to count this move in party as the engagement party. She's not one for all the formal events. Which I'm perfectly fine with," Bucky smiled, re-adjusting his grip on the larger box as they walked up the porch.

"Really? How are we supposed to get you two gifts if we didn't know this was the engagement party?" Steve asked.

"Don't act like you guys didn't all bring some housewarming gift. I saw you all casually trying to hide your little gift bags and stuff. Horrible hiding by the way," Bucky chuckled as Steve opened the door for to the two of them.

"Housewarming gifts are different from engagement gift," the blonde countered.

"I guess, but we really don't need anything. We just want to hang out with you guys in our new home. That's enough for us both," Bucky shrugged, putting the boxes down and turning to see Wanda and Y/N laughing in the kitchen.

"You know, Bucky, just a year ago you would be all over the material things. Something I think Bonnie would have played a part in and also been ecstatic for," Steve smiled looking at his friend. "The fact that's not even a thought for you shows how lucky you got Buck. You and Y/N both got lucky."

Bucky couldn't looked away from Y/N. She was in her 'moving overalls' as she called them since apparently she had so many they all had a special purpose. Her hair was in a messy bun with a head scarf wrapped keeping her wayward curls out of her face. Failing at at its job, but still cute nonetheless. One of the overall shoulders wasn't hooked and was hanging off her shoulder. She was laughing and pointing something out to Wanda in the living room.

"I did get lucky. The woman has taught me more things than I cared to know existed. And because of that I'm a lot more content and happy with my life." Bucky sent a single nod and smile after making eye contact with Y/N who blushed and winked back at him. "I'm on a high Steve, and I haven't fell from it in 6+ months."

"I feel you brother," Steve said squeezing Bucky's shoulder.

"You feel me?" Bucky said with a small laugh knowing Steve was as single as could be. "How do you-" When Steve's reaction was just a dopey smile as if he were lost in space, Bucky's eyebrows shot up. "You punk! You're seeing someone and you didn't tell me?!"

"Hey, hey. Quiet!" Steve said, putting his hands out in surrender. "I-I just wanted to see how things would go and didn't want anyone to get their hopes up, but... Yeah... There's a girl."

"Steve, that's amazing!" Bucky said, pulling him into a hug. "How long?"

"Remember Dr. Erskine from your charity gala?" Bucky nodded. "One of his shadows for his work happens to be in the geriatric field, and he mentioned the senior home to her. She came by for a visit to see the home for some research and we kinda hit it off." Steve had a blush creeping up his neck and was rubbing the back of it in nerves.

"Well, what's her name? What was she doing research for? How old is she? Blonde or Brunette? Or maybe redhead-" Bucky started spouting out questions.

"Her name is Margaret, but she goes by Peggy. She does different funding for senior homes and is doing research in veterans history. She's trying to write a book right now about different stories of WWII vets and Vietnam vets. She's just a few years older than me," Steve answered with a laugh. "And brunette. The most beautiful brown hair and brown eyes I've ever seen on a woman..."

Bucky watched as Steve once again drifted into a dream world. He knew how that went considering it happened to him practically every time he thought of Y/N.

"I'm happy for you Stevie. And don't worry, I'll keep it on the down low. I know how important the beginning of a relationship is, and with our friend group, I'm not going to chance ruining that," Bucky laughed half joking, half being serious.

"You can tell Y/N. Just  Y/N though," Steve laughed.

"Ok, good. That was my next question..." Bucky grinned.

"Come on. Let's get you moved in," Steve nudged as they went back outside for another load.

___________

"Y/N, this place is going to be beautiful!" Nat said, raising her glass as the group of friends sat in the living room on the new furniture.

There were boxes scattered everywhere in their designated rooms, some opened but not unpacked. Only things out were some coasters for the end tables, and a few accent pillows that came with the couches today.

"It's true. I saw some of the decorations you have boxed up, and just by the looks of it this place is going to be stunning," Maria nodded, taking a sip of her wine.

"How many bedrooms?" Clinton budded in.

"Four including the master. So enough for you guys to crash if you ever get too drunk to leave," Bucky winked wrapping his arms around Y/N's middle on the chair they were snuggled into.

"Careful to make that offer. I may never leave," Sam laughed with a smirk.

"Everyone but you," Bucky said with a fake glare.

"You see how he treats me, Y/N? So mean and for no reason," Sam fake pouted.

"Oh, quit it you two. Always teasing the other until someone actually gets their feelings hurt," Y/N waved them off. "Sam, you are more than welcome to stay here when you want."

"Thank you," he said in a proud tone as if he won.

"Of course after day 3 there will be a rent fee," Y/N added with a smirk of her own as she took a long sip of her drink.

"Hey!" Sam said, choking on his drink a little.

"That's my girl," Bucky laughed.

"So what did you guys decide on for the flat? Are you going to sell it or..." Wanda asked turning to them from where she was sat by Vis.

"I'm going to rent it out for cheap to some college kids. No point in bumping the price when I don't really need the extra money. I remember how hard it was for people to find affordable housing during that time, and that way I can still keep it. It's already paid off," Bucky answered.

"That's a good idea and sweet of you. College me would have jumped for a place to stay like that for cheap," Nat nodded.

"Y/N thought of it. I was going to sell it, but made better sense to just rent it out," Bucky shrugged.

"Ok, enough boring adult talk! Tell us how it happened!" Maria jumped in.

"Gotta be more specific sis," Y/N laughed.

"The proposal! We've all seen the ring! Now give us the details!"

"Ok, ok. You wanna tell it or me?" Y/N turned to Bucky who just smiled and shrugged.

"We both can, but you start."

"Ok," she smiled before turning to the group. "So we came out here just to set up some lights and see the finished product of the house."

The rest of the story later, the girls were ooing and aweing at the sentiment. The men just grinning and sending smirks to Bucky for the romantic kind of man he apparently had been hiding from them.

After some more catching up, Y/N giving the girls room tours as well as sharing her decor ideas, while Bucky took the guys out and showed them the land and what they planned to build, the crew started packing up.

Bucky and Y/N said goodbye to everyone as they packed into their cars, and waved to them until they were out the driveway and headed back to the city.

Y/N let out a sigh and turned back to the house. Bucky followed and wrapped his arms around her as he rested his chin on her shoulder.

"We have a lot of unboxing to do," she said.

"Yep, but we unpacked a lot tonight. Let's save the rest for tomorrow."

"Yeah, ok." She turned back and gave him a hug as she fell into him. "I love you."

"I love you even more Y/N. Let's go to bed."

________

The next night, Bucky got a call from work saying they had a business trip that Stark had set up for the two to travel and speak with a few investors on some new projects. Something that was bound to take place in the merger. It just so happened to come up when the two were moving in and had a shit ton of boxes to unpack.

"How long?" Y/N asked once Bucky got done explaining Starks travel plans, and they unboxed some items for one of the guest rooms.

"Sounds like a couple of weeks. No more than two, hopefully only one," Bucky sighed. "I can see if I can make it shorter. I don't want to leave you to unpack all by yourself, and maybe the investors-"

"What are you talking about?" Y/N laughed, stopping and turning to Bucky from the bedside table she was organizing. "You don't have to make your work shorter just because I need help unpacking some boxes."

"Well, no, but-"

"I know what you're doing B. It's not going to work."

"I'm not doing anything..." Bucky mumbled, looking down at the bed frame he was currently screwing in the last few pieces into place for.

"You don't want to travel with Stark for up to two weeks, and you're using moving as an excuse. Nope. Nuh uh. You're going mister," she said matter a factly as she plugged in the bed side lamp and brushed her hands off.

"And what if I don't want to go cause I don't want to leave you?" Bucky said with a raised eyebrow standing up.

"It's your work Bucky. You're going to have to leave sometimes to take care of business." Her hands were crossed over her chest and hip popped. Bucky places his hands on his hips in an attempt to mock her sass.

"You want me out of the house or something?" he joked.

"No... I've just noticed you've been pushing work to the side, and trying to distract yourself from it and using the house as an excuse."

"I'm not-"

"James Buchanan Barnes. You have a huge, crazy busy, growing, multimillion dollar business to run. You can't keep distancing yourself from it just because you don't like Stark all that much," she said, taking a step closer and Bucky matched her.

He paused. She was right. He had been finding any excuse to work from home, or only going in during times Stark wasn't there. He still was extremely annoyed by the man, and the less time he spent with him the better. On the other hand he had been really excited about living with Y/N and being with her more now that they were engaged. 

Screw knowing each other for years. The man was in the honeymoon phase still, and hadn't even glimpsed outside of the puppy love he had for her.

"But what if I don't want to..." he pouted moving closer and putting his hands on her hips as he pulled her in.

"Sucks. You're the big boss man whether you like it or not," she shrugged, still crossing her arms with a playful gleam in her eyes.

"You're kinda scary. You know that?" Bucky chuckled tilting his head to her.

"When I need to be, yes. That's not new news," she said with a sly smirk. "So on that note. Let's get you packed for your trip."

"But-"

"Nope! No excuses bossman!" she said walking out the door to their room.

_________

Y/N was right. This was a big opportunity for the business, and even though Bucky was getting comfortable spending his time with Y/n in their new house, and as a newly engaged couple, he did need to get out and actually work.

The trip ended up being a week and half. Y/N having to stay behind to handle some housing things like plumbing, gas, land surveying and all that fun stuff. That and she still had her job as a personal trainer/ yoga instructor, so she couldn't just up and leave with only a day's notice for almost two weeks.

The two facetimed and talked every night and day. Y/N showing him new places she had got around to decorating and layouts and ideas for the land.

What Bucky didn't know was that Y/N had the girls over almost every night to help her finish up unpacking and decorating before he came home. Sometimes Steve and Sam too if she needed some more heavy duty help.

"Y/N, this is all so stunning. He's going to be so surprised when he gets home," Nat smiled as they all stood looking at the newly decorated home.

"Really? You think? It's not too much is it?" she questioned bringing her hand to her chin as she examined the room they were currently in.

"He's going to love it Y/N. Anything you do he loves, but this is crazy impressive," Steve added as he packed up his tool box. "You ever thought about interior design?"

"That's what Bucky said," Y/N laughed. "And now that I have so many people asking me that," she looked at Maria, Wanda, and Nat who had also been commenting on it all day, "It's starting to sound like a possible fun side-job."

"Well, I'll pay you to come revamp my apartment if you do anything close to this," Maria grinned, taking a swig from a beer bottle.

"You got it," Y/N laughed. "Ok, I need to go pick him up from the airport in about an hour, so I'm going to go get changed and do a few last minute things. Thanks again you guys for coming out here and helping."

"Anytime! Maria and I love the scenic drive here, and it gives us a chance to see your fucking gorgeous home," Nat smirked bumping her hip with Y/N.

"That and you know you can always call if you need a handy man when Bucks not here," Steve added, picking up the tool box.

"Thanks for that Stevie. I appreciate you," she said giving him a small peck on the cheek.

"Yeah, I'm just here for the free alcohol," Wanda teased as she downed the rest of her beer. "Helps when Nat's driving."

The crew laughed at the red head and started heading for the door.

"Let us know what he thinks! And when you guys are ready, we can have a housewarming party since it's all done!" Nat shouted as she walked to the car.

"Will do! Love you guys! Drive safe!" Y/N shouted and waved from the porch as they loaded up and made their way down the long driveway.

Once they were out of sight, Y/N turned to look at the finished product of their home. The lights on the porch were hung and turned on. The inside was lit up and bringing life and a sense of comfort to it.

"How did I get so lucky?" Y/N sighed as she thought about the life that was to come with her special person. All she had to do was pick him up from the airport, and yet another milestone would be made.

(Ok pictures are coming next chapter!) 

Just Roommates:

@starfirerules​ @buckys-blunders​ @alexxcorona113​ @tcc-gizmachine​ @vrgelivvvv​ @nighttwingg​ @firefly-in-darkness​ @mizzzpink​ @poppunkdork​ @nerdygirlwithacrush​ @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater​ @ellaenchanted91​ @sebbbystaaan​

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx​ @death-unbecomes-you​ @heyiamthatbitch​ @zeilenkrieg​ @lizzymacy555​ @iheartsebastianstan​ @srrymydood​ @xa-dia​ @redhairedfeistynerd​

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon​ @lauravic​ @traceyaudette​ @kakakatey​ @notyourtypicalrose​ @laneygthememequeen​ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​ @sandlee44​ @thorne93​ @snffbeebee​ @thefaithfulwriter​ @marvelfansworld​ @essie1876​ @greyeyedsmile14​ @capsiclehan​ @naomi02hook​ @xostephanie​ @averyrogers83​ @awesomenursingstudent​​ @gh0stgurl​​ @cs-please​​ @carls1022​​ @jjlevin​​ @rainbowkisses31​​ @carls1022​​ @anise-d-castle6​​ @deannotmoose​​ @their-bibliophile​​ @kitkatd7​

[forestlingincorporated]

My thoughts on the Snyder Cut

Overall, Snyder Cut is the more competently made Justice League movie. I watched the theatrical release with my girlfriend - who has never seen MoS or BvS or JL before - before watching the Snyder Cut with her a few days later, so it’s still fairly fresh in my mind. 

The Snyder cut is better organized and (despite being 4 hours long) better paced. I really gave ZERO shits about the mother boxes the way they were presented in the theatrical release, but I was engaged with the plot from the start in the Snyder Cut. Scenes were reorganized in a way that were more logical. Fight sequences were paced MUCH better, and kept me interested in what was happening on the screen - my girlfriend and I SKIPPED the last fight sequence in the theatrical release when we watched it because we were BORED; we didn’t get that bored at any point during the Snyder Cut. 

Most of the scenes I liked from the theatrical release are ripped wholesale from this version of the movie, with maybe an exception or two. 

EVERYTHING with Cyborg is better in this movie. Like. EVERYTHING. 

The lighting? Is SO MUCH better. The theatrical cut is SO UGLY compared to this movie. My girlfriend couldn’t look at the bat suit in the theatrical release for a second without complaining it looked terrible, and that was a nonissue in the snyder cut, the bat suit looked amazing. Diana’s low necklines were still there, but no longer shot in a way that was distracting. And dear god, the Steppenwolf redesign looks so much better, god. 

Speaking of Steppenwolf, our villain now has a character motivation! He’s in some way sympathetic and understandable! Wow! Now I fucking understand why our villain is doing what they’re doing, and it plays into the theme! 

And that’s where the praise has to stop, because now I gotta get into the complaints. Under the cut, so now one has to listen to my bitching if they don’t want to. (Also, I get into like, spoilers, so be warned) 

Okay, this movie has a theme, and the theme is family, and it is SO POORLY EXECUTED. Snyder doesn’t do “theme” particularly well - the family angle is kind of an after thought. It’s there, for sure, Steppenwolf wants to go home and be part of his family again, and family is a big part of Cyborg’s arc, and Barry’s stuff with his dad is pretty strong, but this movie isn’t Cyborg and the Flash vs. Steppenwolf - it’s THE JUSTICE LEAGUE vs. Steppenwolf. Each character has a connection to their family that is TOUCHED on, but it’s not given the weight it needs. Diana receives a message from her mother, but Diana doesn’t go visit her at any point or send a message back or anything. Aquaman talks about his mother and father kind of expositionally, designed to set up for the Aquaman movie which now contradicts the already existing Aquaman movie, but we never see his family nor get a strong sense of connection. Clark’s reunion with his mother is extremely brief and unimpactful. And Bruce, who has so much opportunity to delve deep into family connections, especially as the only member of the League who’s ever been a father, confirmed by the nightmare sequence, is given nothing to work with on the family front. 

That’s another thing, Snyder does plot driven movies, he doesn’t do CHARACTER very well. He’d rather exposition for 20 minutes than delve into the emotions of his characters. We’re given an idea that maybe Diana’s worried about her mom, and Bruce is probably still grieving his dead child, but none of that is dealt with. Like, Superman is a McGuffin, he has some emotional weight when he goes to get the black and white suit and you get the overlapping dialog of Jor-El and Jonathan, but he gets over being DEAD so fast, and his reunions with his family are like... limp noodles. I think the worst offender is the death of Cyborg’s father, which I found extremely clunky, and Victor has feelings about it for, like, a scene, kind of, and it just gets pushed aside. His own teammates are barely empathetic that he just lost a parent. I’ve already heard people praise this scene as “more interesting and emotional”, but I found it EXTREAMLY clunky and awkwardly handled. 

Speaking of the exposition, it goes SO LONG. Like, SO LONG. We don’t need this much info dumping, it drags the movie. Cut Diana’s explanation of the mother boxes down to, like, three minutes, five max. Maybe do it like the Story of Ares from the Wonder Woman movie. Keep the first scene of Steppenwolf and Desaad establishing Steppenwolf’s character motivation and then like.... cut.... everything.... else. Between Steppenwolf and Desaad. It mostly exists to set up the fuckin’ Anti-Life equation sequel bait, which we don’t need explained in detail in THIS movie; just have Darkseid mention it at the end as a reason to return to Earth at the end like they already do and cut out all the stuff setting it up, let it be a mystery. And then Cyborg’s info dump on his powers wasn’t necessary, though I liked the way it led into a warm fuzzy moment of him helping that family, and he kinda smiles like, yeah, he likes helping people, he’s on his way to accepting himself and stuff. But then the extra info dump about how his dad’s lab came into possession of the cube like “WELL, IN WORLD WAR 2 - “ like aaaaah, no one cares, cut it. 

Uh... I wish I saw less of Darkseid. I feel like the movie ruined its own suspense by showing off Darkseid’s full design within the first hour. I would have prefered a, you know, more Fire Lord Ozai approach. Don’t show him until the end - or AT ALL, if they can manage it, leave that for a future movie, given this was made with the expectations of more movies. Darkseid’s design was also really disappointing, like Steppenwolf looked so GOOD, he was big and menacing with the armor on, but next to him Darkseid looked... small. I wanted him to be bigger, broader, more menacing. 

Uh... Martian Manhunter. Cool reveal, very shocking, I was hyped, uh, but did not make a load of sense. Very weird moment. And then when you see him again, and Bruce is like “this may as well happen” lol, omg, how checked out is Bruce? 

Lois Lane remains... a limp wet paper bag, and I would have preferred her replaced wholesale with Martha. Love interests being the Thing To Calm The Rampaging Hulk Kryptonian only works if, like, the audience is on board. And I never thought Snyder’s Clark/Lois romance was very strong, because of Snyder’s whole plot-over-character thing, and also I thought this depiction of Lois kinda sucked... But with Martha, you can at least fall back on the cultural concept of a boy’s love for his mother to stand in for weaker character set up, and it would play into that theme of family a lot better. 

I don’t know... how to unpack why... the nightmare future injustice dream sequence.... made me physically angry. But man did I not like that. I feel like I manifested a confirmed Robin death... in the worst way possible. Because boy. I HATED THAT.

Oh! Uh, and I didn’t like Barry’s new introduction. I thought it was weaker than seeing him meet with his dad in jail, and it was kind of... off mood. It was really SILLY, and nothing else in the movie was really that tonally silly. Barry was overall treated with more respect in this movie, but it still felt like the movie was somewhat disinterested in Flash’s whole... brand. Barry stuck out a bit as the one character who was overall not really particularly angsty. I will say, I miss the scene from Whedon’s theatrical release of Barry overcoming his fear by taking Bruce’s advice to just save “one” person; that was a good scene and played well into Barry’s youth and inexperience and into Bruce’s history as a mentor and a father. That said, FUCK did Whedon nerf the shit out of Barry’s powers. This boy can TIME TRAVEL. 

[cruecifymesixx]

Love and Leather /part seventy one/

Word Count: 5.2k

A/N: this is where the timeline gets a bit weird. I know Vince left in 92 but the story is currently in like late 95- early 96 but its fanfic so who cares really?

Warnings: Language,

Taglist: , @brideofdraculana , @xstarryeyesx , @aryssav , @miserablecunt , @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless, @justjodeye, @supernaturalvikingwhore, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland,@romanticvengeance , @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet​, @shouttatthedevill @beachystars, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie​, @anxious-diabetic​, @awkwardblackgirls, @rockersbox, @brooklyn-antiques, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @lunamadhatter99, @broke-n-bitchy, @thanks2pete, @slowandangry, @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471​, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001, @wheresmyvodkabitch, @waywardprincess666, @malibubarbievince, @iluvmesomemarvelndc, @zoenicoles, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @primal-screamer @electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london, @miss2001babe, @nassauartist  @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120 @xrosegoldwolfx,  @lauravic, @mgkobsessed, @chaoticvybe,  @kellysimagines @thoughtsoftheantagonist @marvelismylifffe, @sleepyjunhong  @meetthesixxter @sparxx27 @gingerspicetalks @kaitieskidmore1 @unknownoblivion @nevergoodenuffbutokaaayyy @sublimeprincesswasteland @kylieinwonderland @haileynicoleseavey17 @lavendersoundbarrier @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @xxisxxisxxis @xpoisonousrosesx, @cranberrirolls @m0rnlngstar @love-struck-aries @findingmyths @oskea93 @idumpyourgrass @minxtruck @i-want-to-shoot-myself @cruesixxlover1991 @arianareirg @fentitrbl @dogmom2014 @sinningsixx @motleycrueprincess​, @awesomealmostdopestudent​

*Flashback*

~Nikki’s POV~

“Okay, Nikki. Look right here for me! Perfect! Can you put your hand on Brandi’s hip a bit?” I rolled my eyes and did what he said, “Beautiful! These are gonna be some great shots!”

Another click of the camera as Brandi kisses my cheek and tries to nuzzle her face into my neck. I pull away, tensing up when she shows a slight ounce of affection. I looked at the camera when the photographer yelled at me again, “Most husbands would love to be doing something like this with their wife.” Brandi whispered in my ear, her lips grazing against it.

I gripped her hips when she wiggled around in my lap, digging deep enough to feel the bones “Well, we aren’t a typical couple, now are we, sweetheart?”

Brandi smirked before she gave me a kiss on the lips. My heart felt like a piece of barb wire was wrapped around it, ripping it to shreds as I pulled away from her.

“Can we take a break?” I asked the photographer as he sighed but nodded anyways. I shoved Brandi off my lap and onto the couch. I snatched the sheets away from her and wrapped it around my waist.

I grabbed a water and sat down in a chair as some woman came over and started fixing my hair, “George thinks your hair is still a bit messy…” She squeaked, avoiding eye contact as I chuckled.

“Yeah, just do whatever. I don’t care.” I grumbled, watching Brandi walk over in a black silk robe, “What? Can I just fucking have a minute?”

She shook her head and handed out a gold vile, “You need to relax, baby.” I rolled my eyes but took it from her anyways. I dipped my finger inside, bringing out a dab of white powder and snorting it.

“Thanks for looking out for me.” I laughed and handed it back to her.

“Can you at least pretend to be nice? This is my job Nikki and George is one of the best photographers out on the scene. I at least pretend to be interested when I got to the studio.” Brandi whined as I glared at her.

“Only interested in the band once the money comes through. Just fuck off Brandi. I’ll be ready in a minute!” I snapped at her, glares matching one another as she eyed the stylist before going back to the set.

“Sorry about that.” I whispered to her as she brushed it off and continued to comb my hair out to make it flat. I stared off into space, thinking about Vanity and Arianna. God, I knew the moment I went back there that would be the end of her and I. I know she’s pissed with me, I don’t blame her. I can’t find the courage to even fucking call her because I know what kind of shit storm I’ll walk into. Fuck, I created it.

“Nikki! Break time is over! Let’s go!” The photographer yelled as I sighed and got off the chair.

“So, we want to do some shots of you two holding one another. So you stand here, Brandi come stand in front of him.” Brandi smiled as she pressed her bare tits against my chest, “Well, uh…I don’t remember your name being Vanity so let’s switch sides.”

“I’m sure we can just cover it up with make up or photoshop it out. It’s an ugly tattoo anyways.” Brandi laughed as she roughly scratched her nails over my skin.

“Just fucking move Brandi.” I forcefully switched positions, “Better?” I glared at the photographer as he stayed silent but nodded.

“Can you wrap you arm around her shoulder, hold her close to you. And put your other hand on her bottom so we can see your wedding ring. Brandi, you just wrap you arms around him, that’s perfect. You two are perfect.”

*end flashback*

~Vanity’s POV~

‘Nikki Sixx’s ex fiancé and mother of his child, Vanity was spotted outside of LAX with their daughter whose name we’ve learned is Arianna. Our sources also snapped some pictures of them arriving at the bassists mansion she had lived in years ago. This is quite a shock as only a few weeks ago some very hot and steamy photos of Nikki and his estranged Wife Brandi were released into a few magazines-‘

Nikki snatched the remote out of my hand and turned off the TV. My reflection in the black screen stared back at me, “I have to go to the studio but I’ll be home later. You want to take Arianna to that Thai place we used to go too for dinner? I think she’d like it.”

I rested my head against the couch, tilting up to look at him, “Yeah uh, that sounds good. I think I’m gonna go to the diner later. See if Francisco would give me a job again since Arianna will be at school most of the day, just something part time or whatever.”

“You want to work? I thought you’d be a stay at home mom or whatever.” Nikki spoke as he put his jacket on.

I yawned, “Well this whole first week of Arianna being at school, I’ve been really bored. I can only take Anarchy on so many walks and Clementine has been with Tommy so I’m stuck here, bored.”

Nikki chuckled, “Okay, whatever you want to do doll. I’m for it and you know you can always come to the studio with me, right?”

I smiled when his hand cupped my jaw, thumb brushing over my cheek, “So I can be bored there and watch you boss the producers around?” I smiled kissing his knuckles before pushing his hand off my face, “I’ll come by with some lunch later for you and the boys.”

He grinned, lowering down as he kissed my cheeks, “You’re the best, you know that?”

I nodded and gave him a quick little kiss on the lips, “So you’ve mentioned it a few times.” I closed my eyes when he kissed my forehead before leaving.

I exhaled as I looked over at Anarchy, who in return wagged her tail against the hardwood floor, “I guess we can unpack the rest of my stuff. How does that sound?” Anna let out a breath of air before laying down.

I headed upstairs and to my bedroom. I made my bed and organized the pillows only for Anarchy to jump up and roll around on them. Everything was pretty much unpacked accept I did have a suitcase or two that needed to be dealt with. I put them up on my bed, unzipping them and throwing clothes on my bed. My closet was pretty much filled with shoes, jackets and clothes already but I had some room to squeeze a little bit more in, but I needed more hangers.

I walked out of my bedroom, paws following after me as I walked into Nikki’s bedroom. I looked around for a moment seeing the white bass on the unmade bed and black jeans thrown around the room, his cologne was still lingering around in the air too, “Jesus Nikki.” I said to myself as I opened up the closet door to see piles of clothes on the floor. I reached for two handfuls of hangers before leaving his room.

Anarchy started barking when the doorbell rang, followed by pounding on the wooden door. I looked over the banister seeing a figure outside as the doorbell went off again. I tossed the hangers onto my bed before going to get the door, “Uh hi?”

A short man, with a salt and pepper goatee stood in front of me, “Is Nikki home? I’ve been calling him all morning.”

I shook my head, “No, he left a little while ago. You just missed him. Can I help you with something?” I leaned against the door as he cleared his throat.

“Right, Sorry. We haven’t met yet. I’m Allen Kovac. I’m the bands manager.” He stuck his hand out and I shook it.

“Oh right! I’m Vanity. It’s nice to finally meet you. Nikki said he’d be at the studio.” I explained to him as he nodded.

“Like wise, and I had personal matters to discuss with him but I guess I can just talk to you about it.” Allen spoke as he handed over the piece of paper he was holding. I gently took it from him and smiled, it quickly fading as he looked at me up and down.

“Um…I’ll make sure he gets this. Do you need something else?” I pulled my shirt down a bit as the shorts I was wearing might have been a bit too short.

He shook his head, smiling “Oh! No! Just seeing what Nikki was talking about. He was right. You’re quite beautiful.”

I laughed, “Oh..” I pushed a piece of hair out of my face, “Yeah, little famous me. He’s mentioned a thing or two about you. Nothing but good words.”

He nodded, “And a famous little girl is a part of it. Is Arianna at school?”

“Yeah she’s going to the public elementary school right up the road. We didn’t like the private school and thought a normal school would be good for her. She likes it so far.” I smiled at him and moved to the side when Anarchy wanted out front.

“Thats wonderful, Vanity. I’m glad you two are here to be with Nikki. He was very excited when he called me and told me he was a father.”

“Yeah, he’s trying. Nikki’s a good dad.”

Alan fixed his tie as he looked at me, “Now, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way. You seem like a great girl, but are we absolutely sure Arianna is Nikki’s child?”

My mouth gasped open in shock as I stared at him. I crinkled the paper in my hand as I tried to control myself, “We just want to be sure Nikki isn’t being pulled around like he was with Brandi.” Allen motioned to the paper as I unfolded it:

From the desks of Elektra Records:

As a way to protect our artists livelihood and music, we are always looking out for their best intentions. We have been informed that the bassist of one of our highest grossing acts, Mötley Crüe, Nikki Sixx has recently found out he is a father. Due to the circumstances of his current situation of divorcing his soon-to-be ex wife, Brandi Brandt. We are requesting that a paternity test is to be implemented as a way to protect Nikki.

With a printed red stamp reading ‘Elektra’ I shoved the paper into his chest, “I…uh…Nikki’s her dad. I know he’s her father. We don’t have to get a test done.”

Allen sighed as he took the paper back, “How can you be so sure Vanity? How can I, the bands manager be sure about that? You were gone for how long? We just don’t want Nikki getting hurt in the long run. We don’t want him dishing out more money then he already had to with Brandi.”

I was beyond perplexed. I felt so god damn disrespected, “Allen, Nikki is her dad. And you don’t ever have to worry about me taking his money, I have more money than Nikki could ever dream of having in his pockets. I know you’re new and everything but I’ve been around Nikki my whole life. I know I was gone for a while but I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere. I’ve been with him- with the band forever.”

He seemed like he was thinking, “I’ll have to speak with Nikki in privately then. Thank you Vanity.”

*Nikki’s POV*

“Call the jackass again. I feel more bones rotting away the longer we’re standing around waiting for him.” Mick spoke roughly as he plucked at the strings on his guitar.

I picked up the phone, dialing Vince’s number as it just rang multiple times before it went to voicemail. I slammed the phone down before getting up and pacing.

“Hey man, I’m just saying…Van Halen replaced-“

“I know Van Halen did it! You say it every time Vince misses a fucking rehearsal!” I shouted at Tommy, my anger finally bubbling over as I knocked loose papers off the table, “Where the fuck is he?”

“I love Vinny, I do. But this is bullshit. We’re never going to be able to make any music with him spending all his time at the race track and not here in the studio with us.” Tommy spoke softly as he plopped down on the couch like a lazy teenager and twirled the drumstick around.

“Whatever. We’ll give him a little bit more time. Let’s just go over this again.” I exhaled deeply and picked up my bass.

“Nikki, lets just take a break. The three of us already know this, all we need is Vince to sing it. Let’s just relax order some food or something.” Mick suggested as I pinched the bridge of my nose and rested my head against the couch.

“Yeah, lets take a break. Van said this morning she was going to bring us lunch.” I explained as Mick chuckled and nodded, T-bone on the other made kissy faces at me. “Shut up.” I laughed while crumpling up a piece of paper and throwing it at him.

“So when’s Arianna gonna have a brother or sister?” Tommy laughed as I looked at him, almost choking on my sip of water.

“Dude, what-no! That’s not…we’re not even together. She wants to take it slow.” I rolled my eyes, “It’s annoying, but it’s whatever. That’s what she wants.”

Mick grunted, “What else do you expect from her Nikki? Really? You thought you’d get her here, get her under you and then get her to be with you again?”

I thought about it for a moment, “Uh, yeah? But that’s clearly not the case and I’m dealing with it. She barely lets me kiss her but she says I love you to me every day. So I’m just rolling with it, really. Whatever the princess wants the princess gets.”

They both snickered, “You got that right.”

We all looked to the door when Allen walked in, “Hey man.”

Allen glared at me, “I’ve been calling you all morning.”

I chuckled, “Sorry? I was busy with the tot and getting her off to school. I was gonna return them. But you also shouldn’t be calling me at seven in the morning either. Wait till nine at least, unless it’s an emergency. So was it an emergency?” I asked him as I kicked my boots up on the table.

“Maybe we should step outside and talk about it in private.” He suggested as I raised an eyebrow.

“Whatever you got to say you can say it in front of them too.”

Allen nodded before sitting down on the chair across from me, “Now, when I say this Nikki I do not want you to get upset or take it the wrong way, but can you be sure Arianna is your child?”

All three of us stared at Allen, “I’m gonna go take a smoke break.” Tommy mumbled as he scrambled to his feet.

“I’ll join you drummer.” I watched as Mick hobbled over to the door.

It was quiet between us as Allen reached for a fresh bottle of water, “Vanity seems like a sweet girl, I just stopped by the house and met her-“

“You fucking talked to her about this?’ Before me?! Are you asking to get fired by me or smacked by her?” I raised my voice as Allen closed his eyes before looking at me again.

“Vanity seems like a sweet person, but this isn’t coming from me. This is coming from the label.” He handed me a wrinkled up piece of paper, skimming through it before ripping it in half and tossing it back at him.

“You can tell the company to shove it. Arianna is clearly mine. She’s a spitting image of the both of us. Who the fuck do you think you are? She’s finally back home and you want to start shit?” I questioned Allen as he shifted in the chair.

“Nikki, I am not trying to start anything-“

“Good, then fucking drop it.”

Allen took off his glasses, “I am only looking at it from a legal aspect. There’s a lot of rumors going around about her and Arianna being yours, I think a paternity test would be a good way to lay those rumors to rest.”

“What fucking rumors?!” I yelled, “Nobody has said shit other than MTV! And they aren’t even saying the bullshit you’re telling me! Just fuck off! I’m not doing the test! If the record label has an issue with that you can tell them to call me theirselves.”

Allen gave me a stern look, “They are just trying to protect you Nikki. After everything that’s happened with Brandi, with court and the royalties and her almost taking your house. We don’t want that to happen. Again, I’m sure Vanity is a great girl and-“

“How can you even say that when you’re completely diminishing her character? You know nothing about her or us. Vanity is not Brandi, nor will she ever be like her. You don’t even have a single clue about what we have been through together. She’s the love of my life and the mother of my child. I appreciate yours and the labels concerns, but truly, I do not need it. Arianna is mine. So change the god damn subject.”

Allen stared at me for a moment, “Where is Vince?”

I smirked, shaking my head as I plucked the strings of the bass, “No fucking idea. We can’t keep doing this with him. All three of us are loosing our patience.”

“Just give him some time Nikki.” Allen spoke as he got out of the chair, “I have to go back to the office. I’ll try calling him and see where he’s at and why he isn’t here, alright? Just relax.”

“Yeah whatever man. I’m fine.” I responded, balancing the bass in my lap while putting the notepad on my knee as I tried to get a few chords down. Allen left shortly after once he realized I was no longer in the mood to talk to him.

“We’re on holiday, hooligans holiday. I’m on a holiday, hooligans holiday. I gotta get away.”

I erased some things before chewing on the pencil and mumbled a few lyrics to myself. I grabbed a cigarette from the table, lighting it as I relaxed against the couch. I’m surprised Vanity hasn’t called me bitching about what Allen had said. I don’t need a damn spit test to tell me what I already know, that’s too much of a hassle. Too much unwanted stress for both myself and Van.

I looked at the door when Tommy came in, an arrogant smirk on his face as Mick followed behind him and Vince followed behind Mick, “Oh, hey bud! So nice to finally see you.” His glare met mine as he scoffed and shook his head.

With an eye roll, “What do you want Nikki? I was busy.”

I raised my eyebrows, “What do I want? I’m sorry we, your band, are cutting into valuable racing time in your hot wheels.”

Vince crosses his arms over his chest defensively, “If you’re just going to complain about what I do in my free time, save it. I don’t give you shit for anything you do.”

I chuckled and put the bass back on it’s stand, “No, what I’m complaining about is you suddenly want nothing to do with Mötley.”

Tommy and Mick watched us go back and forth, “We aren’t doing shit right now, Nikki! Why would I want to stay in a stagnant band that can’t get with the times?!” Vince shouted, his words taking me by surprise.

“….And I am trying to get with the times! But I can’t always fucking do everything myself! I’m always making choices for the band. Tommy and Mick have been here helping me because they want this! And for fucking I’d appreciate it if our front man chipped in. You won’t come to rehearsals, you won’t come to meetings and for fucks sake you haven’t even gone to the damn lessons we and the record label have been asking you to go to for months now!” I couldn’t stop my words from rolling off my tongue. I couldn’t hold it back anymore, I’m not gonna be tossed around like a fuckin rag doll.

Vince let out a petty laugh, “You’re the fucking leader, Nikki! That’s why you do everything! And you do everything because you never let any of us get a word in! It’s always about Nikki god damn Sixx and what he wants!”

I rolled my eyes and stubbed out the cigarette, “Yeah, yeah. So Mötley is my idea and the songs are mine and the sounds are my picks for what I think will be best but for once, I am asking for help. I thought you’d be more then willing to do so but you clearly don’t give a shit about us or the band! You don’t fucking express anything and then get all pissy when it doesn’t go your way!”

“Because how am I suppose to express how I feel and what I want within this band when all you do is jump down my throat and bitch and complain!?” Vince shouted as he kicked the table full of papers and filled ash trays over.

“Real fucking mature, Vinny.” I groaned, standing up and picking up the papers and garbage.

“If this is how you are with your fucking band mates, I could only imagine how you are with your whore.”

I tossed the papers down, taking one long stride over to him and stepping in his face, Vince was quick to take a step back, “You want to fucking say that again?”

He thought about it twice, “You treat your band and so called brothers like shit! You walk all over us and I’m sick and tired of it! We constantly have great ideas but you undermine us! Look in the fucking mirror, Nikki. You have the biggest ego out of all of us.”

“I don’t treat you or the guys like shit!” I snapped back, “You’re dragging us around for what Vince?!”

“Yes. You. Do!”

I rolled my eyes, “Oh my god, are you fucking listening to me?! I have asked you for the past month to help us with the material and you aren’t!”

“Well I’m here now! Do you have decent shit for me or not?! Or are you just gonna bitch about my voice again! You know what, fuck this! I quit!!” Vince brushed me off as he turned his back towards me.

I followed after him, grabbing his arm and spinning him around “You know what?! You’re fucking fired!”

He laughed, shoving my shoulders “Fired?! I fucking quit already asshole!”

I shoved him out the swinging door, watching him bump into Vanity hard, who in return dumped the cup holder full of sodas on her self. I closed my eyes and waited for it.

“Vinny! What the fuck?! Watch where the fuck you’re going!”

There it was.

I glared at Vince, “Don’t fucking come near me or the studio again.”

“Yeah, I fucking won’t be. Sorry Van, and sorry you have to deal with this stupid asshole.” Vince glared at me one more time before brushing past her and walking out of the studio.

“Fuck!” I shouted, grabbing the nearest object, an empty vase and hurled it across the studio. I pushed hair out of my eyes as I tugged on the ends, “Fuck-babe let me get you paper towels.” I muttered as I walked over to the cabinets and grabbed a roll, “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you behind him.” I gripped her shirt and tried wiping it off.

Vanity grabbed my hands, “Nikki, it’s fine. It’s just soda, it can be washed.” She gave my hands a squeeze as I nodded.

“Dude…what are we suppose to do now?” Tommy questioned as I looked over at him and sighed.

“I don’t know T-bone.” I muttered as I took the bag of food Vanity was holding, “Let’s just eat. We don’t have any drinks, but that’s fine.” I tried forcing a laugh as I nudged Van playfully.

*Later that evening, Vanity’s POV*

I pressed my ear against the closed door of Nikki’s office, trying to hear the conversation he was having on the other side.

“No! Fuck him! I’m fucking done! He can rot in hell for all I fucking care!” My eyes went wide and I jumped back when something heavy hit the door. I hesitated when I reached for the handle. I slowly cracked it open, “No! I’m not gonna sit down with him and talk it out! He’s fired! I never want to deal with his punk ass again!”

Nikki glared at me when I came into the office. He pointed towards the door and mouthed to get out. I shook my head and sauntered over to his desk, “Allen, give me a minute….what Van?” I shrugged and sat down on his papers. I took the glass of whiskey out of his hand and took a sip.

“No, I’m not doing it. He’s fired and that’s fucking it. We’ll find another singer. Somebody who can sing the songs without getting winded and I’m not- Vanity! Give me the damn phone!”

I placed my foot on his chest to keep him sitting down, “Hi Allen, it’s nice to talk to you again. Nikki said no and he’s not doing whatever you told him to do. Now, i know rockstars never quit working but it’s after hours and his daughter, you know, the one that isn’t his daughter would like to see him. He’ll call you tomorrow. Have a nice night.” I put the phone down on the receiver and looked at Nikki, “It’s done and over with. Vince is gone and that’s it.”

Nikki became quiet as he looked away from me. I could tell he was struggling to keep his emotions in check, “Sixx…” I muttered as I got off the desk and made myself comfortable in his lap, “It’s gonna be alright.” I ran my nails through his hair as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes, his arms snuggly wrapping around my waist.

He nodded as I leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss on the lips, “Hm, another one.” I smiled at his words and did it again.

“Did you still want to go out to dinner tonight?” I asked him as he rested his elbow against the arm rest and put his cheek to his fist.

“Can we just order in? I’m not in the mood to be out in public and have some fuckhead ask me when the next album is.” Nikki snapped as I nodded.

“No, yeah, that’s fine. I didn’t take anything out so I’ll just order pizza or something.” I shrugged and got off his lap.

“Vanity, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap.” Nikki spoke softly as I completely brushed it off.

“Don’t even worry about Sixx, it’s alright. But come downstairs, Arianna keeps asking why daddy’s locked up in the office pouting.” I teased as he sent me a glare.

“Shut up.” He laughed a bit, “She didn’t say that.”

“You wanna bet?” I chimed as I quickly left his office with him following after me, “She said maybe if daddy’s pouting he needs to go in time out- no! Nikki!” I started laughing when he wrapped me up and started tickling my sides.

“What was that? I can’t hear you!” He howled, leading us down the stairs, “Time out? Huh, maybe mommy needs a time out for lying. Maybe a few spankings too.”

I attempted to catch my breath as I dropped to my knees in front of him as he stumbled over me and fell to the carpet, “Ah, what the hell, you brat.” Nikki laughed as he shoved my shoulder playfully.

I cupped my hand over his mouth as he furrowed his eyebrows, “sh sh.” I pointed to the kitchen when I heard a package open.

“One cookie for you Anna, and two for me. Another one for you and another for me- hey! Those are mine! Anarchy!” Arianna was in the kitchen, attempting to whisper as she snuck her snacks.

“Ari! What are you doing?!” I yelled for her, hearing her gasp as Anarchy came running out of the kitchen, followed by the patter of tiny footsteps.

“Nothing…” her cheeks were stuffed full and she had crumbs and chocolate at the corner of her lips.

“You got a little..” Nikki points to her mouth as she quickly wiped her face, “looks to me like you got into the cookies, doesn’t look like that mom?” Nikki grinned, glancing over at me as I nodded.

“I think daddy’s right princess.” I tsk’d as she shook her head.

“No! Only anarchy had cookies! Not me!”

Nikki raised an eyebrow and looked down at Anna who in return planted a sloppy kiss on his chin, “I think Arianna needs a little visit from the tickle monster!” She started screaming and giggling at the top of her lungs when Nikki grabbed her and pulled her to his chest.

“Mom-mommy! Help me!” Her laugh was loud and hearty as Nikki let her go and she came running to me and smacked into me so hard I fell back on to the living room floor with Arianna sitting on top of me.

Nikki laid down beside me with his elbow propping him up, “How does a little vacation sound? Us three going somewhere and just getting out of town for a few days.”

My ears perked up at vacation, “Somewhere with the ocean and seashells?” I asked and looked at Ari, “How does that sound babe? Go swimming with some fishies.”

Arianna nodded, “Daddy can we go?!”

Nikki laughed, “Uh, no. I was thinking up north a bit. Maybe a road trip.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, “Road trip? To where up north? Seattle? I love Seattle! Oh! She would love the Ferris wheel that’s up there! When are we leaving?”

“I was thinking Idaho.” Nikki looked over at me, gauging my reaction probably.

My eyebrows scrunched together as I scoffed, “Idaho?”

Nikki smirked before kissing my shoulder, “I know you are.”

“What the hell is in Idaho-Hey! Wait a minute! That was rude!” I started laughing when his joke just a moment ago clicked in my head.

“I’m just playing baby. But Tom is in Idaho, my grandpa. I thought maybe it would be nice for Arianna to meet him and for you to meet him finally after all these years..”

That was one thing we never got to do. If I remember correctly we were planning to go see Tom right before I left Nikki. He was so excited for it, for me to meet the man that was practically the only stable father figure he’s ever had. I never had the chance to meet Nona, but Nikki said she would have loved me, let’s hope it’s the same thing with Tom.

[kittystargen3]

Summary: Alternate Universe- What if Anakin's mother survived and Anakin never went dark side. Padme has the twins on Tatooine and survives. Anakin tries to help the surviving Jedi, while still keeping his family secret. Meanwhile Darth Sidious has been crowned emperor and is going after the remaining Jedi. Rumors have it he's looking for a new apprentice. Anakin gets to be a daddy.

I'm two days late, but I added chapter 52 to Return of the Survivors today. Below is a small selection. Please click the links to read more.

Chapter 52 - Welcome to the Infantry

“Welcome to the White Forty-Seventh Infantry uh Private Skywalker.” Donael, her commander greeted her.

Leia tried to retain composure, but was finding it difficult as she boarded the CR90 Corvette she’d been stationed on. ‘Luke would love this!’ she couldn’t help but think. Of course she missed her brother. But now was not the time to get emotional. She gulped as her captain continued.

“It’s been a while since we’ve had an officer assigned here straight out of Basic Training. Most of your fellow officers have served one or two terms already,” Donael went on, “But I don’t doubt you’ll fit in. We’re an agreeable bunch.” The Captain was an older Duros who’d, she had no doubt, seen many battles in his time. His blue-green skin was wrinkled and he bore a prominent scar on his bald head. “Your quarters are down this way. You’ll be bunking with Aretti. I’ll leave you to get settled in. We have a diplomatic mission in forty eight hours. I trust you’ll be ready.”

“Sir, Yes sir!” Leia enthusiastically replied.

***

Leia rushed into her bunk to unpack her belongings. She didn’t have much, just the usual stuff given out to recruits and what she’d brought from home. She hesitated for a second thinking about her lightsaber. Lennis, her drill sergeant, had said that it would be up to her next commanding officer if she was allowed to use it.

‘ I’ll have to ask the captain,’ Leia thought as she slid it back into her bag. Then she tucked the bag so it was hidden under her bed.

“Oh, hello.” Leia looked up at the new voice to see a Caamasi woman standing in the doorway. Her skin was covered in a greyish fur with brown and black markings on her cheeks and arms. Her ears stuck out to the sides of her head and she had a long snout that was more elegant than rough. Her eyes were a warm deep yellow-brown. And most surprising, she wore a Rebellion Uniform, with one patch on her sleeve.

“Hi, I’m Leia. You are?”

“Corporal Aretti. You’re my new bunkmate.” She declared.

“Yeah, um…” Leia drawled.

“You’re wondering what I’m doing here?” Aretti supplied.

“Uh…” Leia didn’t know how to answer.

“You wouldn’t be the first. I’m a Caamasi soldier, almost like saying I’m a Jedi Pacifist, but here I am.” Aretti held her arms up and spun around.

“Well…” At this point Leia really was tongue tied. Caamasi were known to be pacifist by nature and friends to all. And what she said about Jedi was very outdated. ‘ Maybe in the clone wars, but now. Most Jedi won’t join the Rebellion unless the Emperor comes knocking at their door himself. It’s why I left them after all.’

Aretti continued, “Mine is a very long story. I joined to defend my people. Then after we lost my old Remnant, well, this unit seemed to work out for me. What’s your story? I heard you transferred here right out of basic training.”

“Yeah, I did. I kinda joined up without clearing it with my parents first, and my aunt was really mad at first. But then I impressed my Drill Sergeant and my aunt knows the General, so. That’s how I got here,” Leia summarized as best she could.

“Oh, I see. Say, who was your Drill Sergeant?” Aretti asked.

“Sergeant Vill Lennis,” Leia answered.

“Oh, I know him. He wasn’t mine, but my bunkmate during the sieges trained under him. Said he was a stickler.”

Leia rolled her eyes, “A loud mouth and a stickler, but he wins you over in time. Say, I was wondering, what kind of action do you typically see here. They said we were escorts to some important people, but they weren’t very specific after that. I figured it probably varies from assignment to assignment, but I wanted to be prepared.”

Aretti looked surprised to hear the question. “Oh, you don’t have to worry. It’s an easy post. Our next mission is escorting the Alderaanian Princess. She’s going to be of age in a couple years and her father likely wants her to have some experience seeing the wider galaxy before she takes on her next role. The Princess stands to inherit a seat in the senate. That’s how Alderaan works. A bit old fashioned with the inherited posts, but it’s a great place to live, if you have to settle anywhere.”

Aretti just stopped talking and stared off into space.

Leia meanwhile started to contemplate what she meant by Easy Post. “So mostly protective detail and guard duties,” she guessed. “How often does someone try to harm the mark?… Aretti?” Her companion was silent for several seconds.

“Oh,” Aretti shook her head. “Pardon there, I had a Memnii. I had just arrived on Alderaan. I was feeling grief, from leaving my home, and afraid of all the new things around me. But then one of the Rebels bought us a pastry at a little shop at the docks. Yumm It was so good. I like having that one.”

‘ Memnii, Oh. Memory,’ Leia thought. “That sounds like a good memory.”

“It is. I have to go. I promised Rob I’d help him with his stretches. Rob is in our unit too. Was injured a couple months ago out on the front, and he transferred here until he completes his recovery. Get this, he actually wants to go back to the active unit!” Aretti shrugged. “So I help him, that way he can recover faster. Say, why don’t you come too. That way I can introduce you and give you the tour. The training room is on the other side of the ship, so we’ll be passing most of everything on our way.”

“Alright,” Leia agreed. She gave her guide a smile before stepping forward to follow her out the door.

***

[let-it-raines]

Okay, now I know you're accepting prompts for the CMIYC verse, expect a whole lot of them coming from me 😂I'd LOVE to see Emma finding out she's pregnant, and her telling Killian, and just their whole journey through her pregnancy!

This isn’t going to cover everything you asked for @dorisquinn but I’ve got 2/3. You can send me all of the prompts you want. Honestly, seeing your enthusiasm as well as the enthusiasm of others to still want parts of this universe makes me so happy! You guys should see the timeline I just mapped out to make sure everything stays cohesive because I’ve got some more extras to write for you guys 🙈

found on ao3 | here |

-/-

March 2022.

“These boxes are never going to get unpacked.”

“We could have hired someone, you know.”

“I’m not even working full-time right now. There’s no need for us to have hired someone when all I’m doing is sitting at home.”

“You go to meetings…on occasion.”

“I have a meeting tomorrow. Stop making that look on your face, twenty-nine.”

“There’s not a look on my face, besides a handsome one.”

Emma huffs and falls back against the wall, sinking down onto the ground and pulling her knees to her chest. They should have moved as soon as last season ended. It would have given them more time to unpack the ridiculous amount of stuff they somehow accumulated over the past three years, but there was a problem with the closing and then the plumbing, and they officially signed for this place two weeks into spring training. Killian had to fly back from Florida for the paperwork, spent one night in the house with her where all they had was their bed set up, and then he went straight back to the hell that is Florida humidity.

At least they’re not there for months at a time in the summer. Everyone would die. It’s bad enough when they’re in Tampa for a few days at a time.

(Then again, humidity in New York in the summer is no joke.)

She could have flown down and stayed with him, already has for a few days here and there, but they need to get settled before the season starts and things get insane. Things are really never not insane, but there are definitely periods where there is a little more peace.

Off-season is undoubtedly her favorite season.

She loves baseball and the game and working almost every day, but having Killian home for months at a time and being able to sleep in their own bed instead of a hotel bed is so much better than anything else.

Emma definitely wants the off-season back.

And this house to be unpacked.

One of those things is more likely to happen than the other, and it’s not the house getting unpacked.

“I miss you,” Emma whispers into the phone.

“I miss you, love. You know you can fly down anytime, right? There’s nothing keeping you there. It’s been less than a week, but I miss you terribly.”

She flips the camera around to all of the boxes. “I don’t want to be living in chaos. I want, like, some kind of organization. I told myself that when I left my room key with you that I would not be flying back to Florida. I have to get this place functional.”“I know we’ve been married for nearly a year, love, but I don’t think you should be turning into me quite this quickly with all of that talk of organization.”“Technically, as far as everyone else knows, we’re only nine months into this whole marriage thing, so that’s not quite a year.”

“Specifics.”“Ruby was over here yesterday helping me unpack and found the pictures from the clerk’s office. I’m pretty sure she figured us out.”“I think David has known for awhile now.”“Why do you think that?”

“Just a hunch.”Emma groans and scoots further down on the floor. “If David knew, he would have said something.”“Aye, you’re likely right.” Killian smiles, his face slightly pixilated. “Come see me this weekend, Swan. I know you said no more flights, but maybe just the one more. I’ll take you to dinner. Wine and dine you and all that.”“I think there’s a third part of that proposition.”

Killian gasps and holds his hand to his chest. “Dirty.”

“You know it, twenty-nine.”

“I think you mean sixty-nine.”

“Oh my God.”

Killian chuckles and pushes his hair back. It’s too long again. He hasn’t gotten it cut in months, and as handsome as he looks, she’s desperately waiting for him to get it cut. Suggesting it hasn’t really worked out well for her, but if he likes it long, he likes it long. It’s not like she’d appreciate it if he told her to shave her legs or something like that.

“I’ve got to go to workouts, but I’ll call you again tonight, yeah?”

“I look forward to it. I love you.”“And I you, my love.”

The video lingers for a moment, and then it disconnects, only the memory of Killian’s smile there.

She misses him like crazy. It’s ridiculous and stupid and kind of annoying. Maybe she should go down and see him this weekend. It’s not like she has this weekend. Spring training is almost over, and she could wait it out. She really could. That’s what she’s told herself she’ll do, but should she if she doesn’t have to? Maybe if she gets enough boxes unpacked.

Hell, maybe she should just cave and hire people to do it for her, but she put up such a dumb fight when Killian suggested it that she doesn’t want to admit to failure now. Not that he’d ever truly judge her for it.

Okay. He’d judge her a little bit.

Her phone buzzes in her hand.

Elsa: You planning on letting me in?

Shit. The doorbell didn’t sound, and Emma didn’t hear a knock at the door. Quickly, she stands from the ground and kicks a box to the side before hurrying down two sets of stairs to get to the front door. She loves having more space than the apartment, but she doesn’t love all of the stairs. At least, right now. Soon she’ll hopefully kick ass at being able to walk up and down them quickly.

Hopefully her ass will look fantastic because of it too.

Damn Manhattan and its lack of space.

“Hey,” Emma greets after unlocking the front door. “Did you ring the doorbell?”

“I did.”

“Well shit.” Emma leans forward and wraps her arms around Elsa. “I guess our doorbell is broken too. Do you know anything about electrical work?”

“I know how to hook up our cable, but that’s about it.”

“Then what good are you to me?”

“I bring you donuts.”

“Bless you.”

“I know.” Elsa steps inside, closing the door behind her, and immediately walks toward the kitchen where she puts down the bag of donuts she’s carrying and then immediately starts looking around the room. “Have you unpacked any of the kitchen?”

“A few things. Mostly things I use. It’s all Killian’s, and he hasn’t really been here to tell me where to put anything. I don’t know his system as well as I should.”

“Do you have silverware out? Plates and bowls?”

“I have a few things but not all of it.”

Elsa sighs and pulls her shorts up and then adjusts her t-shirt. She took the day off to help Emma unpack, and, really, she should be lounging around watching TV or something. “I don’t mean to go all mom on you, but grab a donut. We’re about to unpack your kitchen. Then we move to your bedroom and your closet so you can at least function. Everything else will come later.”

“As long as I get a donut, this all sounds good to me.”

“You can have another if you finish this room.”

“I’m good with a bribe.”

“Incentive. It makes it sound less dirty.”

Emma laughs. “Deal.”

Elsa is some kind of unpacking machine. It’s actually ridiculous. She knows exactly how to store everything in their cabinets and the pantry, and while Emma is sure Killian will rearrange it all when he realizes it’s not to his specifications, after three hours, they have all of the kitchen boxes emptied. It’s practically a miracle, and Emma didn’t even need an extra donut to make her do the work.

(An extra donut is sounding really good right now, though. Elsa got the good kind.)

All she really needed was Elsa. If they had Anna here, though, Emma imagines the entire house would be finished by now. Well, if Anna wasn’t eight months pregnant. Mary Margaret would probably be the better choice, but she’s got a class full of third-graders to attend to. Ruby, however, would bring everything to a halt because she’d get distracted by the things she was unpacking.

They move upstairs and back to the bedroom after they’re finished in kitchen, and Elsa sticks to the bedroom while Emma works in the closet. She’s got some of her clothes up, mostly her workout stuff, and even though their stuff is boxed in a way that should make it easy to hang up several things at once, Emma keeps getting distracted trying to organize it in a way that’s not something she’s going to sustain.

Seriously. Who is organized enough to keep things sorted by color?

Killian. Killian is. He organizes his freaking t-shirts by how old they are.

The weirdo.

Emma finally decides to just do it by type of clothing, and after she’s gotten all of her dresses on the racks, she decides that she needs some kind of break. She did not sleep last night, and no amount of coffee could wake her up.

Has she even had coffee today?

Or maybe she’s simply bored by having to unpack. That’s a lot of the same thing over and over again, and all Emma really wants to be doing is watching Netflix.

Slowly, she slides back down to the ground and pulls out her phone again, answering her texts and then clicking on Instagram to move away the notifications. It’s all stuff Killian has tagged her in, and she quickly moves through the videos and memes before clicking on his page. It’s been mostly baseball lately, pictures of him, Will, and Robin, but if she scrolls a little further back, there are pictures of Liam and Elsa or Addy and Lucy. And then there are pictures of her. She mostly uses social media for work, but she does like to get on and see what Killian has posted. It’s usually something she’s never seen, and there are at least ten pictures on here that she had no idea were taken.

There’s one in particular that she likes the most. It’s from last November. They were in Portland for Thanksgiving sitting on the swing in Ruth’s backyard, and Killian snapped a photo of her drinking coffee, the sun glinting off of her skin in just the right way so that she looked tanner than she actually was.

My love forever, the caption reads.

That day had been…hard. It had been fucking awful, actually, but Killian had wrapped his arms around her and held her until it wasn’t so awful.

That’s what he does. He makes awful days feel that little bit better simply by being there.

She likes that, likes that she has that forever now.

My love forever.

She has had that love for awhile with David and Ruth, with her friends too, and while she doesn’t like to put some relationships over others, Killian does get the slightest elevation.

It’s good to have all that love. It’s healthy, and if someone asked her twenty years ago if she’d ever have any of this, she would have laughed in their face.

She can’t stop staring at the photo and all of the memories behind it. She had been so sure that morning, and it wasn’t…she wasn’t.

“Hey, Emma, do you have – woah, what’s wrong?”

“What?” Emma sniffles, wiping below her eyes. “What makes you think something is wrong?”

“You’re sitting on the floor sniffling and wiping your eyes. Those are pretty big clues.”

Emma scoffs. “I’m fine.”“You’re a liar.”“Els, I’m fine.”

“I believe you about as much as I believe Killian when he says that.” Elsa walks over to her to and slides down onto the floor next to her, kicking away a shoe and grabbing onto Emma’s forearm. “You want to talk about whatever it is? You know you don’t have to, but I’m a good listener. I couldn’t be married to Liam if I wasn’t.”

“Liam does talk a lot.”

“I think it’s a Jones family trait.”

“I think I might be pregnant.”

She might have that trait too for the way she just blurted that out.

Elsa gasps, and Emma braces herself for it just like she braces herself for it every time this conversation comes up. She’s the one who brought it up this time, but it was kind of inevitable when this is honestly all she’s been thinking about for two days now.

For a little more than two days if she’s totally honest.

“I didn’t…I’m not,” Emma stutters, trying to continue talking before she shuts herself up, “I never thought I would be someone who wanted a baby. I thought I was going to be alone for so much of my life, so when Killian and I decided to try and kept having these negative tests, I don’t know. I, well, it sucks, and it’s been really damn hard. It hasn’t even been a long time, and we’re still so young. I probably shouldn’t even complain because I know it’s harder for other people. It’s just that a part of me feels like I’ve gotten so much good in my life I was never supposed to get. What if this is the thing I don’t get? What if I have this feeling in my gut now because it’s some kind of sign that I should give up before my hopes get too high?”

“Oh, darling,” Elsa sighs as she wraps her arm around Emma’s back and pulls her toward her, rubbing her hand up and down her arm, “you can’t think like that. The world doesn’t give you a certain amount of good and then just stop. You can have more good than you think you deserve. I do. And that feeling of helplessness when it comes to getting pregnant and it not working as fast as you want? I’ve had that too. It’s what happened with Lucy.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I thought maybe Addison was going to be it for us, and we were like you two. We hadn’t been trying for a long time, but it could still feel hopeless when Addison was so easy. Getting pregnant is hard, and unless you talk to others like this, there’s no way you’d know. All you’d see is the happy announcements and the smiles.”

Emma turns her head into Elsa’s shoulder. It’s a good thing she’s not wearing mascara because she’d totally ruin Elsa’s t-shirt.

“So I’m not some kind of freak show for sitting in my closet freaking out about this?”

“Emma, having a baby, or even the possibility of it, is the most terrifying thing in the world. If you weren’t having meltdowns, I’d be concerned about you.”

“This is so not in my wheelhouse,” Emma mumbles. “I talk for a living, talking about this is…different.”

“Baseballs and babies aren’t exactly in the same category.”

“They are on Family Day.”“Yeah, well, you know what I mean.”

Emma huffs and pulls away from Elsa, leaning her head back against the wall. “This closet is still such a mess. My shoes are everywhere.”

“Oh, I know. I think I’m going to need to borrow those wedges that are caught up underneath the pile of Killian’s jerseys.”

“They are yours to borrow.”

“Not to keep?”

“Nah, I like them too much for that.”

Elsa laughs and twists on the ground until she’s facing Emma, small smile on her face. “You’re going to be okay. You and Killian both. And if you ever need to talk, Liam and I are always here. Anna too.”

“Anna is eight months pregnant with twins. All she does is warn people against getting pregnant. I don’t think she’s ever going to have sex again.”

“Can you blame her?”

“Absolutely not.”

Elsa claps her hands together. “Okay, let’s conquer this closet, and then I’m taking you home with me for dinner so you’re not left in this house stalking your husband’s Instagram.”

“I was not doing that.”

“You totally were. I could see it on your screen when I walked in.”

“I’m taking away your shoe privileges.”

Elsa quickly gets up and runs over to the wedges, picking them up. “Nope. They’re mine now.”

-/-

She’s pregnant.

Or, at least, that’s what the three tests she took this morning said.

Emma had gone over to Liam and Elsa’s last night for dinner, and she’d forgotten about everything. She really had, and it had been nice not to think about it and to be able to know that her life was going to go on no matter what. She knew that. Logically, she did. Her life is not defined by what a pregnancy test says, but when it’s what you want…

When it’s what she and Killian want.

And they might get now.

Oh shit. She is not ready to give birth.

That’s not even happening right now, or in the near future, but it’s going to happen. Emma’s pretty sure it’s some kind of torture device designed to make being a woman even more difficult, but she’s got to stop thinking of that right now.

What she’s got to start thinking about is the fact that she’s in New York while Killian is in Florida.

Florida.

Shit. She’s got to book a flight to Florida.

She said she wasn’t going to do it, but that was before she knew for sure.

That was before.

Where the hell is her neck pillow?

Emma gets off the rim of the tub and walks into the bedroom, grabbing her laptop off the charger and stretching out on the bed while trying to find the next flight. There are a few this afternoon, but she’s got meetings she can’t cancel. There’s one she might be able to make around seven, though, and she quickly enters her information and books a one-way ticket.

She’s never been so excited to go to Florida.

-/-

“Can I get an extra key to room 835?”

“And your name is?”

“Emma Jones.”

The receptionist starts typing on her keyboard, looking up at Emma and then looking back at her computer, her brows furrowed. “I’m sorry. There’s not an Emma Jones in that room.”

“I know. It’s my husband’s room. It’s under his name. Killian Jones. It should be under the block of rooms for the Yankees.”

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I can’t give you a key to that room. It’s our policy, especially when it comes to our VIP guests in our suites. It’s for their safety.”

Emma has to fight the urge to roll her eyes. She’s exhausted. It’s been a long ass day, she sat next to someone who snored the entire flight down here, and all she wants to do is see Killian. Why the hell did she leave her key with Killian last week?

Oh, yeah, because she wasn’t supposed to come back.

“If I was some kind of stalker, how would I know his room number?”

“You would be surprised what people know.”

She sighs and pulls out her phone, clicking on Ariel’s name.

“Emma?”

“Ariel, can you get me an extra key to Killian’s room?”

“Are you here?” Ariel squeals before quieting. “Wait.” There’s a mumble and then the sound of a chair squeaking before Ariel’s voice comes back into focus. “Sorry. We’re out at dinner, and I had to move away from the table. This is a surprise, right?”

“Mhm.”

“That is literally the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“You need to hear more things.”

“Oh, hush. I’ll call the front desk. We’ve got to be back soon anyways because I have to relieve the babysitter for Morgan, so it won’t be too long.”

“That sounds perfect. I’ll probably see you tomorrow, okay?”

“I can’t wait, and I promise that my lips are sealed.”

They hang up, and the front desk’s phone immediately rings. The receptionist nods and smiles and is completely and totally nice to Ariel, typing in a few things on her computer as she avoids eye contact with Emma. Then the conversation is over and Emma is being handed a card.

“This works for both the elevator and the room. Have a nice night, Mrs. Jones.”

“Thanks,” Emma says, forcing a smile. She knows the woman was just doing her job, but it doesn’t keep her from being annoyed. She’s not about to be pissy with her though. “Have a good night.”

Grabbing her luggage, she maneuvers out of the lobby and to the elevator. She knows this hotel better than any other hotel in the country from how much she’s stayed here, and she easily makes her way up to Killian’s room, sliding the card in the door and sighing in relief that the clerk actually gave her a key that worked. She was worried that she wouldn’t.

Killian’s suite is clean, and Emma knows it’s not just because of housekeeping. The man is so damn particular about everything, and even though all she wants to do is curl up in bed and go to sleep, she opens up her suitcase and starts putting her few clothes away, making sure not to mess with any of Killian’s stuff. It’s what he would end up doing later anyways, and if she does it now, it’ll be one less thing he’ll have to focus on.

How the hell is she supposed to tell him that she’s pregnant?

That’s something she should have focused on for the flight down here, but all she could think about was how much she wanted to murder the man who was snoring next to her.

She’s going to be great at the whole getting no sleep thing.

Did she really want this? Did they? Are they crazy? What drives someone to want to have a baby? Yeah, they’re cute, but then they grow up and yell at you for telling them not to eat straight sugar for dinner. And she didn’t have parents. Well, she has Ruth, but she didn’t have Ruth for fifteen years. Killian’s mom died, and his dad is a piece of shit. What do either of them know about babies and being parents?

What do either of them know about kids in general?

Well, they do have nieces and nephews and friends with kids. Hell, their friends have had so many kids. It’s like in the past two years all anyone has done is pop a kid out and –

The door to the suite beeps, and Emma doesn’t even realize she’s been pacing for a long time until Killian’s standing right in front of her blinking with his mouth wide open.

“Hi,” Emma squeaks out.

It’s official. She is not herself today.

“Fucking hell,” Killian mumbles.

“Well, that’s always the greeting a girl – ”

Killian strides forward and cups her cheeks before pulling her to him with his mouth, sucking on her bottom lip before he starts moving and can’t seem to stop. It’s been less than a week. That’s all. It hasn’t even been that long since they’ve been apart. They make it a point to never go more than nine days, but she’s missed him more than she ever has.

Melodramatic and all that.

“What,” he starts, still kissing her, “are,” he continues as his lips move to her jaw, “you,” he sighs against her cheek, “doing,” he whispers against her eyelid, “here?” he finishes as his lips find hers once more while their foreheads rest against each other.

“I really missed Scarlet.”

Killian tilts his head back and barks out a laugh as his hands move from her cheeks to her biceps, squeezing them. Her stomach is absolutely swirling.

“God, I love you. You’re – ” He shakes his head, and his eyes crinkle. He’s gotten darker during training, and there’s the slightest tan line from where he’ll wear his hat backwards during pitching drills outside.

“I’m what?”

“Well, if I were to list all of the things you are, I imagine we’d be standing here forever.”

Emma scoffs and pushes at his chest before moving closer once more so she can wrap her arms around his neck. “Why are you the way that you are?”

“Charming? I believe I was born this way.”

It’s Emma’s turn to shake her head at him. She presses up on her toes and lingers until her breath is ghosting over his mouth. “I love you, twenty-nine.”

“Good. I love you, Swan.”

She finally kisses him then, and Killian slowly backs her up to the bed until she’s falling down on top of it. All thoughts leave her mind as his lips and his hands move over her, and they truly disappear when his mouth is between her thighs and all she can think is how damn good that feels. It almost always does, like some kind of magic that’s bottled between the two of them, and even when it’s not good, Emma knows that there’s no one she’d rather get lockjaw or really unfortunate cramps with.

And weirdly, as Killian swivels his hips and hits just the right rhythm, she knows that no matter how much she’s freaking out about everything, the two of them have got this.

“Did you know the front-desk clerk thought I was a stalker?” Emma asks later. They haven’t changed back into any clothes, and Emma can’t seem to stop twirling Killian’s chest hair around her fingers while his hand dances across her back, tracing familiar words there.

“Really now?”

“Mhm. I tried to get a room key, and she refused to give me one.”

“Ah, well, I have been having an influx of stalkers lately. It must be my devilishly good looks.”

“You’re never lacking in confidence, are you? Even when it comes to joking about something that’s not funny.”

“You would know more than anyone how that isn’t true.”

Emma leans down to kiss his chest before resting her chin there. The air conditioner clicks on, and a cold rush of air runs over Emma’s bare skin. Killian tugs the comforter up over a little more of her back, and they sit in silence as Emma starts counting how fast her heart is beating. If she doesn’t tell him tonight, she won’t sleep. It’ll eat at her until the morning, and with how exhausted she is from not sleeping two nights in a row, she really can’t afford another night without sleep.

She also hasn’t had coffee in days. That has sucked.

“Killian, I – ”

She stops when his finger traces her name into her back. “What is it, love?”

“Nothing,” Emma begins, even if she knows it’s everything. “It’s just…Killian, I’m pregnant.”

For the rest of her life she’ll remember that Killian stopped blinking for a few seconds too long. She’ll remember that his eyes are slightly red-rimmed from his own lack of sleep, and she’ll remember the way that slowly but surely his lips curl from a small smile to one of the brightest she’s ever seen from him.

“Are you? For real? I’m not imagining this conversation?”

Emma inhales and nods. “I think so. I wouldn’t be far along. Like, at all, so anything could happen. But my period is late, and I took, like, three tests this morning that were positive. Peeing on a stick never feels normal.”

Killian chuckles as his free hand comes around to tuck her hair behind her ear. He’s so gentle like that, and she doesn’t know what she did to deserve him. He can be hot-headed and impatient and ready to act on his anger instead of thinking it through, but at his core, Killian Jones is a good man.

“Aye, I imagine not.”

He leans down to glide his lips over hers, and even if Emma had imagined what it would be like to tell Killian they better start reading all of those books so they have some clue what they’re doing, she knows none of it would be better than this.

Calm and content and like they were always supposed to end up here.

“I love you, Swan,” Killian whispers as his hand shifts from her back to her stomach. “I don’t – thank you for being by my side for all of this.”“Always, twenty-nine. Always.”

-/-

-/-

Tag list: @bluewildcatfanatic​ @killianswannn @dorisquinn​ @onepunintendid​ @authorarsinoe​ @stunningswan​ @eala-captian @galaxyzxstark @xellewoods @mariakov81 @ultraluckycatnd @royalswan @shey-starsfury​ @superchocovian​ @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @karenfrommisthaven @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @notoriouscs @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog​ @cs-forlife @andiirivera @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings​ @carpedzem​ @tornadoamy​ ​

[notsoharsh]

The Scholarly Adventures of Brain Girl and Blood Dude || Morgan & Harsh

TIMING: Mid July LOCATION: The Scribe HQ PARTIES: @mor-beck-more-problems and @notsoharsh SUMMARY: Morgan and Harsh take a little field trip to read a lot of dusty old books. 

Thanks to her super-strength, Morgan was able to pull more books for Harsh’s soul problem than she ever could have on her own. She lead him down the dusty shelves with the glee of a suburbanite at the fancy grocery store, plucking everything that seemed remotely tied to the subject at hand. “This place is pretty amazing, right? I mean just look at everything you can accomplish with some collective organization and, well, deep pockets, probably,” she said, smiling. “We’re casting a wide net, but, obviously, indexes are going to be our friend, so if you can’t find any of our keywords inside, just move it into a nope pile. I went ahead and put it on a flashcard.” She turned and passed him one. “I hope you don’t mind my getting a little excited. I get it, why you might not be, and it’s not that I don’t appreciate the gravity of the situation. I think I just really miss having a reason to come back here.” And something concrete, even tangible, to hope for. 

So this was the Scribe HQ. Harsh hadn’t really thought about the place before, but somehow he had expected it to be harder to get into. Not like he was about to complain about that. He trailed after Morgan, eyes scanning the shelves. “It’s really… something.” He should probably be impressed, but with each title, he had to fight to keep his eyes from glazing over. There was so much. How were they ever going to find anything in here? He took the flashcard with a little nod. “It’s fine. Honestly, I was kinda surprised you were so up for this. And I get that. There’s… a lot in here. Did you come here a lot for witchy stuff?” He grabbed one of the books Morgan had selected, blowing the dust from the ancient cover before opening it and squinting at the writing. “This one looks like it’s just philosophy, ‘what does it mean to be ensouled’. I’m guessing there’s not really a section here with a bunch of how-to guides?”

Morgan continued to look, climbing onto stacks of books on the ground to reach higher ones. “Nope, just my curse. It went back over a hundred years deep so I had to trace back all these obnoxious second and third hand accounts to all the terrible things that happened to my ancestors trying to get down to the source. My mom had a lot of faults, but enforcing a well rounded magic education wasn’t one of them.” She balanced on the tips of her toes to get another book, On the Metaphysical Material of Human Essence, and jumped back down, grimacing only a little when she landed off and had to knock her ankle back into place. “Magic is complicated, Harsh,” she said. “In a good way! Say your magical heart’s desire is the number 20. You can get there by ten times two, or five times four, or fifteen plus five, or nineteen plus one. Lots of roads can get you to twenty. Also, witches are, historically, protective of their grimoires. And some spells are too sacred or too dangerous to really want to pass down, you know? Ooh, seriously, check the index of that philosophical one, though. There might be some reference to some, I don’t know, random Romanian death cult that was known to help vampires restore their souls. That would give us a lead to follow up on.” She moved on to the next shelf before popping her head around the corner again. “I’m kidding about the death cult, by the way. I don’t know if that’s a real thing. But it would be pretty cool if it was, right?”

“Shit. Y’know, as long as I’ve been dealing with this stuff, the whole ‘ancient curse’ thing is still kinda wild. I guess I need to expand my horizons a little more,” Harsh said, watching her scramble about. He should probably offer to help, but… she seemed pretty content. Even he could understand needing a project. That was a lot of numbers, but it sort of made sense. Kind of. “I’ve picked up on the protective thing. That coven weren’t the first ones I tried to go to. A bunch of them would’ve rather staked me than let me see any of their dusty old books. Yeah, got it.” He flicked through the book, finding the index number before scanning the pages again. “I’m not seeing Romanian death cults, but there’s some Latin stuff in here. Well, I think it’s Latin, but all I know is audio, video, disco, so we’re gonna need some translating if that’s actually gonna help much.” He chuckled as he set the book down and grabbed another. “Hey, trust me, death cults are very real. They throw some banging parties, but you never wanna stay too late. There was this one I ran into in Spain, and--well, that’s kind of a long story, but they would’ve been very into you. They were all about the brain eating stuff.” Trailing after her, he scanned the top rows of the shelves. “How about that one,” he said, pointing at an especially thick, black covered book. “Looks like it’s got little skulls on it, that’s gotta be good.” 

“Well a hundred years and change isn’t ancient-ancient,” Morgan admitted, still pleased to have impressed a vampire as old as Harsh. “But brain eating death cults? That’s kinda hot. Scary, but I’m okay with side hustling as a cult maiden. But the not staying too late, is that because after midnight is when they start to get actually all murder-y?” She laughed goodnaturedly at his suggestion about the skulls on the book. “You know, I have started coming around to the idea of skull iconography being a good omen, but this could just as well be about fun curses or potions.” She tried to climb up for it, but her short arms weren’t quite up to the task. She gave Harsh a sheepish look. “Maybe you could, uh--? And then we can start unpacking what we’ve bothered before we start looking again? I think thirty books makes for a solid beginning.”

“The ones I ran into always treated their zombies pretty well. One of them even made this cool throne for them, it was pretty badass. But yeah, usually they start the murdering right after Cinderella turns into a pumpkin. You get extra drinks if you bring someone to add to the murder pile.” Harsh decided to leave out just how many extra drinks he had managed to earn. Morgan was strangely cool with the soulless thing, but adding a couple dozen murders to that might push things a little too far. He snorted. “You don’t want to spider monkey your way up there? Yeah, I’ve got it,” he said. It was a little out of reach, even for him, but getting a leg up on one of the lower shelves was enough to grab it. The book was weirdly heavy. Maybe that meant it was extra full of magic or something. Hopping down from the shelf, he brushed the dust from the cover. “Yeah, seems like a good place to start. Which ones look the most ritual-y?” 

Morgan pouted as she reached for another, closer book. “I want a throne.Can it be made of bones? My girlfriend has a huge thing for bones. We’d look pretty together on a bone throne.” And for ceremonial purposes, maybe with the right amount of discretion and care with, well, offering selection, it might even be a halfway decent time. She smirked at the thought, wondering what kind of coronets death cults might make for their zombies. She laughed at Harsh’s joke and carried their haul to the nearest desk. The books tumbled from her stack and spread themselves over the surface. “Well, here’s the thing: a ritual with full instructions and ingredients is an endgame, a big ol’ golden goose. But, you know, this might start off with something a little more broad, a little more sketchy. We don’t want to turn our nose away from death cults or norwegian summoning stones or...whatever. Because some weird reference might lead us to the golden egg. And the actual golden egg might be buried in some other archive. And then, because we followed the breadcrumbs, we’ll find it in that other archive faster, and...sorry, I’m mixing way too many metaphors, huh? Anyways, I can start on the books on this end of the table, and you can start on the ones on that end? You read fast, yeah?”

“I’m pretty sure making it out of bones is required actually,” Harsh said, with a thoughtful nod. Honestly, it was a little surprising that White Crest didn’t have any death cults, at least as far as he knew. They didn’t tend to be very public. Attention moving to the books, he grabbed a few and pulled them close, scanning the titles. There were some promising ones in there at least. “Right, it would be boring if it was that easy anyway. This kinda thing seems like it needs a lot of bits and pieces before it goes together. The coven said something about ‘proving myself’ so if you see anything like that, just, I don’t know, highlight it or something. I read pretty quick, yeah.” He flicked through the pages of the first book, an older one laden with dust. The cover might have been green at one point. “Don’t think there’s any eggs in this one. It does have a spell for cooking them though. I think this one’s more basic rituals than the big one we’re after. It does have a little thing about summoning, but mostly just bats and rats and stuff. Any luck over there?”

Morgan was running her finger down the index of the volume in front of her, picking out anything that looked remotely undead or soul related and flipping to the corresponding pages. There were a few technical magic terms that stuck out that she wanted to look at as well before she wrote off the reference as a dead end for this volume. She reached for another and started the process all over again. “Not yet, although, you know, lots of fun stuff about necromancy. And vampire cults, although I guess you already know whatever you want to about that stuff.” She balanced the next one precariously on her lap and started flipping back and forth, one section after the other. “This one looks like it has lots of serious lore, though. We’re talking old myths, druidic shit, some stuff I...can’t actually read. Do you know this language?” She passed the book over to Harsh, finger hovering over the photograph of some runes. 

“I guess necromancy is sort of near what we’re looking for,” Harsh said a little dubiously. Honestly, he didn’t know nearly enough about magic to be sure. It seemed to make sense though. They both had to do with souls and restoring them. Or something. “Vampire cults can be kind of cool, but most of them are pretty anti-soul, so I don’t know if they would be super helpful.” He reached for the book, brow furrowing as he scanned the runes. “Sort of. It looks like Sanskrit, just a little off. I wonder if it’s like some ancient dead version.” His fingers trailed over the letters as he muttered to himself, working to muddle through the meaning. “I think it’s talking about a ritual. It’s a lot of sorta spiritual stuff, but… I think some of it sounds pretty legit. Some of the words are kind of weird, but I think it’s saying there are three, uh, three pieces you need to retrieve a soul. And then there’s some words I don’t know, this one just means really, really old. What about the other bits, the druidic stuff?” he asked, passing the book back as he moved closer to read over Morgan’s shoulder. 

“You never know. Maybe understanding more about how you get rid of them could help us understand how to get one to come back.” Morgan said. Harsh couldn’t afford to turn down any possibility, and neither could she, if she wanted to be good for more than just cheerleading. But as Harsh looked over the text and translated, Morgan started to wonder if the search would be so hard after all. “That...that might just be what we’re looking for! Look, this sigil here, means spirit, but it’s sort of a vague all encompassing sort of an idea, it could me soul, intuition, intention, but when you look at these wrapped around it, you get a soul’s last regret. And when you look at its placement in the circle, it's on a material vector, an ingredient. But it’s also in the center, where you do the conjuring for what you want to accomplish. And in that place it’s also joined by this little squiggly? It signifies a joining, of two planes or two pieces, you see it sometimes in certain kinds of alchemy circles and binding magic.” Her face cracked wide into a smile. Harsh, it’s a spell to bind a soul to a body! It’s real!” Morgan shot up from her chair, almost toppling the book to the floor. “Harsh, your cure is real! I mean, I’m going to need to do more work to figure out the other ingredients, and we need to follow up on that Sanskrit, because that might be important, and who even knows how we’re going to even get some of these things once we know what they are, but still!” She jumped on her toes to give him as strong a hug as her arms could manage. “It’s possible. And that’s what matters most right now, right?”

“That’s a good point, actually. I sort of always thought of them as being two really different things, but… I’m not really an expert on any of this. I should’ve done way more research ages ago.” Harsh had thought as much before, several times… and then done basically nothing. He’d had two hundred years to learn this and he had thrown all that time away. Oh well, he was doing it now. That had to count for something. He nodded vaguely as Morgan went on, doing his best to follow along. It was a little beyond him, but the pieces he could parse were encouraging enough to make a grin slowly spread across his face. “Holy shit--Morgan, you’re amazing!” Meeting her halfway, he locked his arms around her with enough force to lift her off the ground, spinning the both of them in a circle. “You figure out what we need and I’ll get it,” he said as he set her down, still grinning widely. “Whatever we need, just leave it to me.” 

[spaceorphan18]

Oohhh, I’m gonna be so snarky....  

So, every once in a while, a random glee related youtube video pops up on my youtube suggestions.  Usually, Ignore them -- because I don’t need to hear what Watching TV with Ashleigh (made up name dudes) thinks the top ten songs ever on Glee are.  Those videos just end up annoying me.  

Anyway... Ms. Mojo posted the top ten Glee facts, and, well, now I’m liveblogging my reaction of that video to you.  Because what else am I going to do tonight? (The answer is a lot of things - but sometimes I like to entertain myself this way.)  So here we go.  

Get ready for some Top Ten Facts!!! 

10.  Matthew Morrison is less than 4 years older than his students.  

I’m honestly shocked by this one, guys.  I mean, who knew they got older adults to play teenagers on TV? I did not.  

9. Kristen Chenoweth was the casts favorite guest star.  

So... it wasn’t Lindsay Lohan? Now I’m disappointed. 

8. Some of the actor’s audition songs were used for the character audition songs.  

...  No shit.  This is, like, info on the season 1 dvd.  Did you dust off your old dvds again? Or, were you just bored and going through the top hits of youtube when you typed in the glee cast? 

7. Chris Colfer had his first drink while filming Glee.  

Now, at first I was like... wait, what?? Did I miss something I had never heard about Chris, I mean, I am shocked.  

No.  This is misleading.  The way it was worded - I thought he was actually filming when he had his first drink.  Nope. not so -- it’s just the story about Chris having his first taste of alcohol at a party with some of the glee cast.  Which leads me back to rolling my eyes, because -- newsflash, college student drinks alcohol.  film at a 11.  :P 

6. Heather Morris was not supposed to be an actor. 

Now.  Okay, Ms. Mojo, here’s where I’m really going to hold you to task about your wording choice.  Saying ‘not supposed to’ sounds like it was a forbidden thing that wasn’t supposed to be allowed.  When in fact it was that she is a dancer who had a very good delivery of some choice lines.  She was organically weaved into the show -- as what happens with all tv shows, they grow and change.  

5. Dianna Agron was cast the night before filming.  

This is another really old story that most people know about -- cause it’s been on the DVD and a zillion interviews.  Maybe the casual glee fan doesn’t know it (or any you newbies out there -- hello, welcome to my very snarky blog).  But I mean -- c’mon most of these are season 1 facts, and this video is from 2018.  

4. Ryan Murphy has a lot of regrets concerning the show.

Okay, now you’re just stirring shit, Ms. Mojo.  I see what you did, putting this far enough in the video that by this point, the person watching will finish it, but also, leaving this juicy tidbit in among actual facts, when this one is sooooo more of an opinion than everything else on this list.  

I’m going to unpack this for a second.  Because first of all -- the narrator never lets any of the Ryan Murphy interviews they show say exactly their statement, and the narrator reads an interpretation (specifically does not say -- and I quote -- to mark Ryan’s actual words) of various Ryan Murphy interviews.  

Now, we’ve all read and heard stories that have circulated around about how Murphy’s felt about the show, and as anyone, his opinions have fluctuated over time.  And I do remember one specifically saying he regrets how he specifically handled things.  And I don’t doubt that he does regret stuff relating the show.  

But to not give a direct quote, and give an opinion of interpretation on a list of actual ‘facts’ seems gossipy and misleading, Ms. Mojo.  I really expected this list to just be dumb, but now I’m annoyed by you. 

3. Lea Michele was in a car accident right before her audition. 

<see entry for #5>

2. Darren Criss auditioned for Finn

I mean yeah, but it’s not like he was in serious contending for it -- and according to Darren he audition several times, as well as Finn wasn’t fully defined at time of audition, so...  sure. 

1. Ryan Murphy had to implement a ‘no hooking up on set’ rule. 

This is funny cause it is true, and wasn’t exactly a secret.  And I probably could name you the top offenders without any sources.  I just remember some interview where Chris was asked about whether or not he was hooking up with people on set, and he was aghast, asking the interviewer who they thought he’d be hooking up with.  

Look -- if you’re going to put 20-somethings in close quarters like that for long periods of time, shenanigans are going to be had.  I’ve never been surprised by this. 

This is a weak list, Ms. Mojo - go make your next list off actual fun facts Kevin and Jenna share on their podcast :P 

[missnxthingg]

Is this where we do prompts? Can you do a peter Parker imagine where has powers and is recruited as an avenger and then has to share a room with peter in avengers tower, and they fall in love? Please and thank you!

AN: I really just got along with it, and made it really big. I loved writting this, and I hope you like it too. Just keep sending those requests.

Warnings: Bad words, a bit of makeout.

Words: 5k, I guess

———

You hated to admit you were kind of nervous, because it has been your dream since you found out who The Avengers were. Your old room in your foster parents house back in Staten Island was covered with pictures and news about The Avengers. When you had been invited to their tower, you were simply amazed, but kind of nervous. Now, you were following a guy carrying your bags around those endless hallways, silently and paying attention to every single detail around you. It was a beautiful place, very technological. At the end of one of them, you could hear someone talking on the phone. A voice who you knew very much. The same voice who invited you over. Tony Stark talking on his phone, probably with some investor or something. When he saw you coming in, he hung up and smiled.

“Oh, Y/N, you’re here. Welcome to The Avengers Tower.”

“Thank you Mr. Stark, I’m glad you invited me over.”

“I guess you met Happy Hogan already.” He said pointing to the man carrying your bags. “He’s gonna help you with anything you need.”

“That’s nice.”

“And I’m very sorry to say, but you’re going to be sharing a room with one of our heroes. Don’t worry, he’s harmless and he has your age. Plus, you’re way more powerful than him.”

“Can I at least know which one?”

“The Spider One, I always forget his name. Anyway, he’s nice and will help you around. Happy will show you around, and you can have all day to adjust in. Your training starts tomorrow after breakfast, and breakfast ends up at 9 AM, so don’t be late.”

“I won’t. Thank you Mr. Stark.”

So you started to follow that Happy guy around, paying attention to what he was saying while showing you around. You saw many rooms around from many heroes you used to see on TV or the internet. You got excited to be one of them, or at least becoming one of them. Your room was the last one in the hall. Happy opened the door for you and everything was dark. Happy rolled his eyes and got your bags on the floor.

“Peter, it’s almost noon and you’re still sleep.”

“Just a couple of more minutes Mr. Happy, I had a late night trying to do that stuff Mr. Stark asked me to fix and I’m really tired.”

“Just get off bed, we have guests, remember? We talked about this yesterday.”

“Has she arrived yet?” He asked with his face buried on his pillow.

“She’s right next to me.”

The boy in bed got up in a heartbeat. He was wearing nothing but his sweatpants, he had small bags under his eyes and also had a face of the person who had just woken up and didn’t want to. You pitied him, he looked very tired. The boy smiled just a little bit to see you in front of him, and you smiled back. Happy got your bags over your bed and got to the window.

“Maybe put on some clothes, Pete.” He said and the boy got the first shirt he found on the floor. A gray shirt with the saying ‘Midtown School of Science And Technology’. Happy opened the blinds, letting the light come into the room, revealing more clearly every detail in there.

“Sorry. I’m Peter Parker, nice to meet you.” He stood his hands in the air, waiting for you to shake it, which you did.

“Nice to meet you too, I’m Y/N Y/L/N.” He smiled and you smiled back.

“So I’m going to leave you two alone, don’t do anything stupid. And since you missed lunch, you both can grab a sandwich in the kitchen, but don’t tell Tony cause he’s gonna be pissed if he finds out that you’re not eating your lunch properly Peter.”

“Fine. Thank you, Mr. Happy.”

“Yeah, thank you.”

“Be nice to her.” Happy got out of the room, closing the door behind him.

You sat on your bed. This half of the room was fully empty, the opposite of the other half of the room, that was Peter’s part. His table had so many thing over it that you couldn’t even identify what was being done there. So many objects, open books and devices you didn’t even know. His bed was completely messy, with at least two blankets over it, two pillows and his Spider Man suit over there. At the other side of the bed there were so many books pilled together, forming a huge wall of books, and one of them even had a mug over it. The walls were covered with projects, some photos and newspapers cuts. If looked like it had life in it, and your side was still not as good as it.

“Sorry about the mess, I didnt get any time to organize it yesterday. I had so many work to do and since I’m leaving for a bit next week, I need to get it done. Don’t mind the books, they used to be in a shelf located on what’s now your bed.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take you space.”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind.�� He smiled at you and started to clean his desk. “So, you’re the girl with a lot of powers, right? Mr. Stark told me you have plenty of them.”

“Well, I think I have plenty, but they don’t make any sense combined, I guess. I can switch my shape, it’s called shapeshifting, as Mr. Stark said. Like, who do you want me to turn into?”

“Humm… I don’t know, myself.” You closed you eyes and concentrated on how Peter looked like, and when you opened them, Peter’s face looked hilarious.

“You look just like me.”

“I know, right?” You said changing back to what you really were.

“I loved that. What else?” You teleported to behind him, and he turned looking for you, and got scaried to see you facing him from behind. “Teleportation, good.”

“I also can get invisible if I want.” You said turning invisible, but them coming back to normal after that. “I can manipulate the four elements, specially fire. But I’m not going to show it to you, because in my opinion, it’s the most dangerous one. But the coolest one is this.” Your mouth remained still, but Peter could hear your voice.

“Telepathy.” He said and smiled. “I liked that.”

“I can also control minds, and get into other people’s dream if I want to, but it requires much of my energy and it’s definitely not nice and a bit confusing.”

“I like your powers. I was just bitten by a radioactive spider and got spidey things. Not as cool as yours.”

“Dude, you can crawl the walls of New York. That’s my dream.”

“Maybe I could take you someday.” He smiled and looked at your eyes. Was he flirting with you?

“Maybe, just tell me when.”

“Whenever you want to, babe.” Okay, he was definitely flirting with you. “So you’re from New York?”

“Kind of. I’m from Staten Island, but I lived in many other places around New York. Hell’s Kitchen, Brooklyn, Queens, Midtown and even the Upper East Side.”

“Wait. Queens? That’s where I live with my aunt.”

“Don’t you live here?”

“Oh no. I come to stay here sometimes, but I have an aunt, she’s kind of like my mom. She raised me. And I still have to go to school, and we’re not exactly anywhere near anything. So, I still have to be around the city sometimes. I stay here in summers, or just like right now, when Tony wants me training or on a mission.”

“So that’s what you meant by leaving next week.”

“Yes! But it’s just for a week. I have some final tests before my vacation, so I’ll stay here for two months probabily. Mr. Stark wants me to train you.”

“Training, sharing a room. I think we’re going to be stuck with each other for a very long time.”

“I really don’t mind.” He smiled and you smiled back.

“Yeah, me neither.”

Peter was really cool, and you just bounded instatly. He helped you unpack, organizing your things in the closet inside the room and decorating a bit of your side of the room. You told him that you were an orphan since you were eight. An accident caused by your fire powers burned your parents house down and you were the only survivor, as a curse just like you always thought. So you had to live in many foster homes and were always kicked out by being too weird for the family. They were scared of having you around their kids. It never lasted long, but the one that really lasted was the last one, but you were kicked out of the house just like happened other times. The parents were really abusive and they didn’t like when you arrived late. So Tony had his eye on you since he found out about your story, and since you were living on the Upper East Side with that really rich family, and used your powers to turn into a grown man to buy drinks at a liquor store. Last week, he finally contacted you, when he found out you were in the foster system again. As he said himself, you were now legally his child, and could live with him at that tower. Peter also told his story, of how he lost his parents, his uncle Ben, how he got bitten by that spider and told a little bit about his life back in New York. You had plenty of things in common, but he had a home and a family, you didn’t.

The next week was really good. Waking up early, having breakfast with some of the heroes like Wanda, Natasha and sometimes, Bruce. Tony, Happy and Peter were always there too. And afterwards, training, all day. You liked what you were doing, training and at night, studying with a tutor Tony hired to home school you. It was your last year of High School, so it wouldn’t be needed for much time. At night, you would just hang around with Peter, maybe watch some TV or something. But the week went by too fast, and he had to leave back to New York. You missed him, everything just seemed boring and quiet without him. You had to admit, you hated to see him gone. When Peter came back, you just spent every minute of your day together. It was a weekend, so you didn’t have any school or training, so that meant free day for both of you. It was only movies, snacks and a lot of talking. He told you about his tests, about his school and how his friends were kind of different with him, except for Ned, who he told that still the same old friend. You told him about your week too, and how Natasha came to train you and it was a heavier training, but the best one yet, and she was really sweet with you.

Many months passed, you got closer and closer to Peter. You both talked about your insecurities and demons. He was helping a lot with your very common nightmares of that horrible night. He would literally wake up in the middle of the night and come to lay in your bed and not getting to sleep until he knew that you were sleeping peacefully. And if you asked him not to go back to his bed, he would just stay there all night long. During trainings, he tried to impress you and flirting a lot in your point of view, but you get flirting and being nice mixed up sometimes, but you loved to flirt back. Sometimes he would just give you small blinks and cheek kisses around, but a forehead kiss and a hug were his thing to do with you every morning. Your heart always pounded when you were around him, specially when he was shirtless, that occured during trainings and at night before bed. You liked him, and you think he likes you too, but wasn’t very sure.

One day, he asked if you wanted to come to the city with him. He was graduating in three weeks and he was coming back to his New York home for two weeks and didn’t want to be away from you for so long. So he said you could stay at his apartment, and come to his graduation day. You didn’t even knew how he was still graduating in his school if he was also being homeschooled with you, but he said Mr. Stark and his director had an arrengement for him to only go to school in important dates like tests or other stuff, due to his internship outside town, but in condition to be homeschooled with all the content he had in school. So while he was away from the city, he wouls just keep doing whatever he needed to do.

“There’s also prom night. And I don’t have a date, so if you want to come with me.” He asked, kind of shy.

“I never went to one of those.”

“Really? But you weren’t homeschooled, right?” He seemed a bit surprised.

“No, but no one ever invited me to come to one of those proms, bowls, homecomings or school dances.”

“I can’t believe it. Okay, so I’m gonna make this one special. Pretend that I didn’t ask you anything.”

“There’s no need Pete.”

“I want to. But do you wanna come to New York with me?”

“Of course, you idiot.” He smiled and hugged you.

“So, we’re leaving by friday. Okay?”

“Okay.”

You had to find the perfect dress. So you asked Happy for help, but you both couldn’t find anything good enough online. You were almost going with that old black dress you had, but still, you wanted something special. But you weren’t even oficially asked yet. On Thursday, when it got dark, Peter took you to the rooftop to see the stars and eat some junk food he asked Happy to get him, getting totally out of your hero diet Tony specifically asked for you both to follow while training. But that didn’t matter for a while, and you had an awesome date, and at the end he got down on his knees, making you laugh very hard.

“Stop doing this, you’re making me nervous Y/N.”

“Sorry Pete, I can’t.” He held your hands and slightly laughed with you.

“Y/N Y/L/N, do you concede me the honor of taking you to prom?”

“Yes, Pete.” You said laughing and he got up laughing. “It’s getting late, and colder. Let’s go to bed.”

“Only if you agree to share your bed with me tonight.”

“No, good night Pete.”

“Come on, you’re gonna have to get used to it, cause I only have a bed in my room back in New York.”

“So let’s leave all the magic to New York.”

And so you got into the house again, back to your bedroom, where you changed into your pajamas and lied in your bed. Peter was kind of mad you didn’t let him share beds with you, so he slept only in his underwear to provoke you. You dry swallowed, and he noticed, and smiled, covering himself with the sheets.

“Don’t I get my good night kiss?”

“You don’t deserve it miss.” He said and you laughed a bit.

“You’re mean.”

“So are you.”

“Good night Pete.” You closed you eyes and after a few seconds, you felt his lips kiss your forehead, so you smiled.

“Good night my love.” Your heart pounded again, and you fell asleep smiling.

You both woke up early the next morning. Happy prepared the car to take both of you to the city, and you helped Peter prepare the breakfast for you three and Tony, who woke up early just to say goodbye and to tell he would be there for graduation day. It was a quick trip back to New York. Happy drove the car, Peter went on the front seat and you sat in the middle of the back seat. He kept his hand in the back seat holding yours for a long time, and that warmed you heart up. It didn’t took long and you were already in the streets of Queens, when Happy parked in front of a building, where a middle age woman was at the sidewalk, waiting. Peter got out of the car and hugged her for a very long time. Happy opened the door for you and you got out of the car. Peter pulled you by the hand, closer to the woman he was hugging.

“May, this is Y/N, that girl I told you about. And well, Y/N, this is aunt May. She’s basically my mom, but I call her aunt because of affective reasons.“

“It’s very nice to meet you, Y/N.”

“Thank you, it’s very nice to meet you too May.”

“Are you kids hungry? Cause I made some lunch.”

“May, you don’t have to pretend to know how to cook just to impress Y/N. She already knows you’re a terrible cooker.”

“Oh good, cause I ordered some homemade food from that old lady that lives down the street.” She made you laugh hard with that.

“It’s okay, I’m not that good as a chef either. Peter is the one who is always cooking stuff around.”

“Oh, my boy it’s just so good at everything.” She smutched his cheeks and he blushed.

“Stop it.” He said and it made you and May smile.

“So, are you going to have lunch with us Mr. Hogan?” May asked and they both crossed each others sights and thinks got kind of weird. It was clear that they had a crush on each other.

“I would appreciate it May, but Mr. Stark needs me back at the base as soon as possible. We have many things to do today.”

“At least get a sandwich. Go get it for him Peter.” He ran into the house and left you at the sidewalk with May. You both held you baggages and waited for Peter, who came back with a sandwich, a juice and an apple.

“Keep it healthy, Mr. Happy.” Peter blinked and Happy rolled his eyes.

“Thank you May. I’ll come with Mr. Stark for your graduation day.”

“Really?” Peter asked with his eyes shining.

“Of course. Everyone is coming, or you thought we would miss it?”

“I thought it was only going to be Mr. Stark.”

“So you better save some more seats for us. See you soon.” Happy got back into the car and drove off.

“Let’s go inside kids.”

Peter carried both of your bags and May lied a hand on your shoulder, guiding you into the building. The apartment was beautiful, much better than the one you used to live in when you were at some foster home in Queens. That one was really small and dirty. This one feels like a really nice place to stay and you liked it. Peter got the bags into his room and May showed you around. It wasn’t huge, but was really nice.

“I know it might not be big and luxurious as the place you live in but…”

“It’s perfect.” You interupted and May smiled.

“I’m glad you liked it.”

“LET’S EAT!” Peter cheared and went running out of his bedroom, right into the dinning room.

You all had a nice lunch. You told May a little bit about your life, and she told a little bit about hers and Peter’s, and after lunch, while eating some sweets, she showed some kid pictures of Peter, who was really embaressed and blushed. You remained there until it was already very dark. Peter got his Spider Man suit on and May rolled her eyes to him.

“You just got back, and you’re going to be out patroling?”

“I’m actually going to take Y/N for a ride around town, but I’ ll need you to put on your suit.” He said directing to you and you agreed.

Tony designed a suit for you a few months ago. It was black and yellow, and had boots, just as you liked it. And a small mask covered part of your face. You liked it very much, and it was very comfortable. Peter had his mask on and so he said goodbye to May and you both got out by the window.

“I’m gonna need you to hold very tight to me.” He said and so you did, holding him by his back, involving his waist by your leg. “Okay, don’t let me go.”

So he jumped, but before hitting the ground, he started to bounce around his webs. You screamed and started to shake. He laughed and got to the rooftop of some building.

“Are you scared?”

“I’m so fucking terrified.” You said looking down, and he laughed, making you come out of his back and holding you on his front, and being really close to your face.

“Do you trust me?” He asked, looking at your eyes. You were mesmerized.

“Yes.” You replied and he smiled.

“Good. Maybe this will make you feel better.” He started to bounce around again, and you were helding very tight onto him.

You were screaming at the beggining, but it got really good with time. You were having a lot of fun, and Peter’s funny comments were relaxing you a lot. He stopped at a rooftop in front of a mall and sat by the bord. You sat next to him, and he held your hand.

“I don’t have a dress.” You said looking down.

“What?” He asked, looking at you.

“I don’t have a dress for prom.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Because I thought that wasn’t the kind of thing we usually talk about. And I want it to be a surprise. I want it to be perfect.”

“First, we talk about everything. Second, it will be perfect, you just need to be with me.” He held your hand tighter. “May can take you shopping tomorrow, and that way it will be a surprise to me, okay?”

“Okay.”

That night, he took you to eat dinner at a fast food store, but you ate at the rooftop of an old art gallery in Brooklyn, and watched the city that never sleeps still all awake, till it was very late and you both had to go home. May was already asleep when you got there and Peter got he bed prepared. It was a bunk bed, but the top bed was the only one unoccupied, since the other had your bags in it. You changed to your pajamas and Peter got his sweatpants on, and no shirt as always. He closed the door and the window for it not be too cold.

“I thought you said you only had one bed.”

“Yeah, I lied. But just because I never used the bottom bed. And because I wanted you to sleep with me.”

“You’re an idiot.” You got up to the top bed, but blocked Peter from getting in. “Nope, you’re going to sleep in the bottom.”

“Please, let me sleep with you.” He was pounting, and you smiled.

“Maybe if you put on some clothes, it will be nice.”

“You love my abs.” He said pointing to his naked body.

“No, I don’t.”

“I don’t care, I’m gonna sleep were I want to, however I want to.” He lied next to you and you got on your way to get to the bottom bed.

“Whatever, I’m not sleeping with you.” But before you could get out, he held you by your waist and pulled you to him, and trapped you into his arms and legs. He buried his face at the back of your neck and used a web to turn the lights off.

“Yes, you are.” He already had his eyes closed, but he made you more comfortable, holding you in a comfortable hug and covering you with the blanket.

“Where is my good night kiss?” You asked, turning to face him. His eyes opened and looked directly into your mouth, and he just kept starring for a couple of seconds, but he kissed your forehead.

“Good night baby.” He said and held you closer.

“Good night.”

The week went by very fast, and you did many things with him. You met his friends, he took you to patrol, but he also took you to many nice places. He even did the movie night with you and May, and it was a really nice date. May was being really sweet to you and even took you shopping for your dress, and paid it for you. She talked about Peter with so much love in her eyes, and you loved it. And so the day finally came, prom night. She helped both of you get ready, you in her room, Peter in his room. You knew very little about makeup, but May helped you with that. He waited at the living room until May announced you were ready, and so you came out of the room wearing a beautiful navy blue dress, sandals and a flawless makeup. Peter was mesmerized, and his eyes shined like they never did. His heart raced and he couldn’t help but show the biggest smile on his face.

“You look amazing.” He said, standing completely still.

“You look amazing too.” You replied and reached for his hand.

“I need to take pictures. Wait a minute.” May ran to get her phone and Peter just kept starring at you. He couldn’t get his eyes of you.

“You look like an angel.” He said still looking at your face.

“You’re making me blush.” You replied and hide your face on his neck.

“Don’t hide, love.” He said and you looked at his eyes and you both smiled.

May came with her phone, and took plenty of photos of you and with you. And so it was time, so she drove you to school, where it was full of students. You met with his friends, and you all just had a good time. You danced with them all, and Peter really sucked at dancing, but he was asking you for help all of the time. He was trying very hard to make you feel really comfortable around him, and it was working. You danced to every song playing that night. And so the slow dance came, and he held you very close. Hands on you waist, your face resting on his chest, your arms holding him in a soft hug, and his head resting at the top of yours. You stayed like that for a very long time, but before the song ended, your eyes met and couldn’t get off each other.

“This is the part where I kiss you.” He said keeping his voice low. You could feel his breath against your face.

“So what are you waiting for Pete?” He leaned and closed his eyes, and so your lips met for the first time. It was very slow and sweet, just like you always imagined it would be. Now you were doing what you both craved the most for many months, and you wanted to take advantage of every single second of it.

“Do you wanna go somewhere more private?” He asked and you agreed. He took you out and got to the rooftop of a build right across the street. You could see people walking around, but you didn’t really care about them, you just cared about the boy next to you. He sat down and pulled you to his lap, and started to kiss you again, making it more intense this time, and so you both stopped and smiled. “Hi gorgeous.”

“Hi.” You smiled and kissed him again. “Thank you for tonight.”

“I was supposed to be the one thanking you, my love.”

“My love?”

“If you don’t mind me calling you like that, of course.”

“I always loved when you called me like that.” You kissed him again and you both remained like that for a long time. “But do you really love me?”

“I was talking about that with May today. She asked if I liked you, and until last week I thought so. Since the very first day I liked you, but after that day, that first day here that I took you out, I realized I don’t like you. I love you, Y/N, and all of that because Mr. Stark had this huge idea to put us in the same room, doing a lot of things together. I love every single bit about you. Your smile, how you just be yourself all of the time…”

“I love you too, Pete.” You interrupted him and he smiled.

“And I love how you say my name.” He said before kissing you one more time.

After that night, you never spent a moment apart. That week was the best of your life, and graduation day came. Everyone was in town, and after meeting them all at the event, you sat next to Tony, by the end of the row. Your eyes met Peter’s and you both smiled to each other.

“What is up with you two?” Tony asked and you looked at him very quickily.

“Nothing, I was just smiling at my friend.” You replied, blushing a little bit.

“Cut the crap, Y/N. You’re blushing. I know you like him, and he clearly likes you.”

“You think so?” You asked and Tony laughed.

“Oh kid, he really likes you.” He said looking back to Peter.

The cerimony took a while, but you all went to celebrate with Peter afterwards. Everyone was there, Natasha, Wanda, Bruce, Rhodes, Pepper, May, Tony, Happy and you. And he had fun with everyone, but when he saw you one more time, he gave you a big hug and pulled you aside.

“I need to ask you something.” He said, putting his hat in your head.

“Anything.” You said and he smiled and gave you a small kiss on the lips.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He asked and you agreed with your head.

“Yeah, Peter, of course!” He kissed you again and flipped you around, smiling during the kiss.

“Kids, stop for the photo.” May said, and Peter stopped still kissing you, and you heard May taking the photo.” This one is way too cute.”

“I loved it.” You said looking at the picture, and looking at Peter after.

“I love you.”

[kerfufflewatch]

Candy/ pastries or your pain is mine

everyone asked for candy/pastries, and I wrote way too much, and I’m pretending that’s because everyone asked for it and not because I have no self-control

[on AO3]

--

"Kinda surprised you like sweet stuff that much," McCree remarks. 

Hanzo only gives him the barest of glances before returning his attention to the doughnut box on the counter. McCree had found a proper doughnut shop while they were here in the States--one of those local places that was big enough to be noteworthy but small enough to still have product worth talking about--and brought back a solid half-dozen to the safehouse. It was, admittedly, entirely too much sugar even for two grown men, but it'd been a long and frankly boring mission and he thought they deserved something.

After a moment's deliberation, Hanzo liberates the box of its blueberry cake doughnut and sets it on a napkin that is already dusted with crumbs and flakes of glaze. "And why is that?" he asks as he sets to pouring a cup of coffee. 

"Dunno. You're so fit. Figured you were one of those guys who counted every calorie and eats their body weight in protein every day."

Hanzo snorts softly at that. "The fact that I put some thought into my meal composition, unlike some people, does not make me obsessed."

"Mmhm."

Hanzo shoots him a glare that is more amused than annoyed, then returns to his coffee. "You are not too far off, I suppose," he says, slowly pouring milk into his cup until it reaches the precise color he deems acceptable. "When I was younger, I did maintain a much stricter diet--it was considered childish to indulge in something with no health benefits. After, it simply became one of those things that I did not need and did not permit myself."

"And now?"

"Now I have learned that denying myself cake will not restore my honor." His coffee spoon clinks sharply against the countertop.

"Nah. Not unless it was a real good cake." Hanzo laughs a little and, as always, it makes McCree's heart flutter and his mouth incapable of shutting up just in case he can get Hanzo to do it again. "What's your favorite, then?"

Hanzo has to think on that for a moment. Then he answers, "Taiyaki, I think. Although to be fair, I think it is mostly whatever I am in the mood for."

McCree hides his smile in his coffee cup. He really is too far gone to be helped. "Fair enough."

"What about you?"

McCree shrugs. "Never had that much of a sweet tooth, to be honest. I mean, yeah, here and there," he adds, gesturing vaguely at the doughnut box, "but . . . I guess I'd never turn down a slice of apple pie, though."

The corner of Hanzo's mouth lifts in something that might be amusement, though McCree's not sure why. "Really."

"Used to drive my mamá mad. She must've disowned me six or seven times for it, back in the day. Why not her flan, or sopapillas, or something else she had a family recipe for." McCree chuckles at the old memory, his mother sighing and putting her flour-dusted hands on her hips as her son continued to betray their proud Mexican heritage. "But yeah. That's the favorite, I think."

Hanzo laughs softly. "A troublemaker at every turn."

"That's me." McCree brushes past Hanzo to pour himself another cup of coffee. Going by the files Winston sent this morning, it’s looking like it might be a half-pot kind of day. “Gotta say, though, damn hard to find any decent apple pie out where we’re stationed. They got stuff like it around, I guess, but none of it’s quite right. Think the last time I had any was . . .”

He trails off. He’d been about to say it was probably the better part of a year and a half, but come to think of it, it’s probably been about a year. It wasn’t much, but he remembers now: serving himself a cup of burnt diner coffee and a slice of pie from the display case, sitting in a cracked vinyl seat with the best view of the railroad over the gorge, getting one bite in before having to abandon it. He’d barely appreciated it at the time with his attention focused elsewhere, but the taste of tart apple and sweet cinnamon had lingered on his tongue through the hell that followed, mixed with gunpowder and dust.

“McCree?”

McCree blinks out of his reverie. His sugar spoon still hovers over his coffee, teetering and threatening to spill. He hastily dumps the sugar and gives it a stir. “Sorry. Got a little distracted there,” he says, putting on an easy smile. “Was a bit of a rough day last time, is all.”

Hanzo seems unconvinced, but he knows when to let things drop. It’s one of the many things McCree appreciates about him. 

They lapse into a companionable quiet. Hanzo breaks off a small piece of the doughnut and pops it into his mouth. He absentmindedly sucks a crumb off the pad of his thumb, and McCree forgets all about pointing out that he'd actually bought that particular doughnut for himself. 

—

They're both sent back to the States again within the month, but on separate, minor missions. Hanzo goes off with his brother and Angela. McCree tries not to think about how irritable that makes him. 

McCree's sent out on a solo mission for three weeks, investigating a business out in Canada Winston worries might have some Talon ties. It looks and acts like a standard accounting firm, and three weeks of running coffee and organizing files doesn’t give McCree any reason to believe otherwise. The tedium slowly grates on his nerves, and being treated like a witless errand boy does so more quickly, until he’s certain that he has none left carrying him through. 

The whole thing is made worse by having to maintain radio silence the entire three weeks. He wasn't necessarily the sort to enjoy long text conversations or phone calls, but he could always count on a wry response from Angela or Genji if he sent them updates or complaints, and Lena and Mei sometimes just liked to check in. He gets none of this, though, and it leaves him far too much time to think. 

And of course, because his heart's a goddamn fool, he finds himself missing Hanzo the most. 

For a while, as one does once a crush starts to become a little bit desperate, McCree entertains the notion of telling Hanzo in a variety of ways. With how long they've known each other, just asking for a date seems too distant. Grand gestures are something, but anything too grand would just leave Hanzo embarrassed and irritable regardless of how he felt in return. He doesn't know when Hanzo's birthday is and asking Genji would mean any surprise would be ruined. 

At some point, he remembers the conversation with Hanzo during their last mission, and he thinks for far too long about gifting Hanzo with some sort of sweet thing. Cakes and candies were romantic, weren't they? Except something generic would go over about as well as a snowball taking a lovely vacation in Hell, and Hanzo deserves better than some dime-a-dozen chocolates. 

He dithers and sighs and eventually forgets about the whole thing after a week or so, and the conversation shortly thereafter. The whole idea is a fool's errand, anyway--it all assumes that Hanzo would want him at all. 

Just before he can drive himself mad with hypotheticals,  he digs up a handwritten set of budgets in someone's locked office desk that, even coded and vague, implicate the business in some illicit dealings quite nicely. He activates the little automatic drone that helpfully scans and uploads all of the pages straight to  Athena and Winston, neatly replaces everything, and slips out of the city the moment he is given the all-clear. 

By the time he gets back to Gibraltar, the combination of a shitty mission and an equally shitty flight has him too exhausted and irritable. He checks in with Winston, drags himself through the shower, and flops onto his bed. He’s too antsy for sleep, but he can at least use a few minutes with his eyes closed before he has to dodge the rest of the team to find food. 

He only gets a couple of minutes before there is a knock on his door. He sighs up at the ceiling. “Just a sec.”

His irritation all but evaporates when he opens the door to find Hanzo on the other side. He has a paper bag in one arm, wafting the rich scent of food, and a bottle of whiskey in the other. 

"Well damn," McCree says. "Rollin' out a hero's welcome."

Hanzo rolls his eyes, even as he smiles. "Hello to you, as well. I thought you might like to celebrate your success, but if not . . ."

McCree snorts. "Success. Yeah. We'll call it that." 

His tone makes Hanzo's smile immediately drop in a way that makes McCree's stomach do the same.

"Was I mistaken?" Hanzo asks. "The mission brief suggested you were successful, but . . ."

McCree groans, rubbing his hands down his face. “No, you weren't. Sorry, Han," he says wearily. "Was just a long, frustrating sort of job. Bunch of annoying assholes, then me doing a whole lot of nothin’ to prove that they’re assholes. Got me in a bit of a mood, y’know?”

“Oh. I am sorry. Perhaps I should have considered--would you like me to go?”

His expression of mild concern might have fooled anyone else, but McCree knows better nowadays, and he sees the flash of disappointment as it crosses his face. "No, 'course not," he says. "Just warnin' you I might not be the best company."

Hanzo nods, but his brow is still pinched with uncertainty. McCree reaches to take the bag. "Got a couple glasses if you wanna pour us a drink," he says, nodding to the pair he keeps on his desk just for this purpose. 

"I--yes."

McCree pauses as he lifts the first box out of the bag. "Seriously, what's buggin' you?"

"It is nothing."

It's clearly not nothing, but no amount of prying will get Hanzo to talk if he doesn't want to. He unpacks both their meals, but pauses when he finds a third box at the bottom of the bag. This one is smaller and clearly from a different place entirely. 

He looks questioningly at Hanzo, but he is pointedly not watching McCree, pretending to need his entire focus to pour their drinks. McCree opens the box.

What he finds is an apple pie. A full one, untouched, with the slightly uneven look to the crust that comes from something handmade. He looks to Hanzo again, his mouth running dry. 

"Why . . . ?" he starts, and finds himself unable to finish the question.

Hanzo sits on the edge of the bed and shrugs one shoulder, now very interested in the contents of his glass. "We ended up getting dinner the last night of our mission," he says, too casually. "One of their specialties was apparently their pies, and I remembered what you had said before."

Forgetting dinner entirely, McCree grabs one of the forks from the bag and carves out a piece of the pie right from the center. Hanzo mutters "That is barbaric," but is ignored. 

It's good, definitely one of the better apple pies he's had--tart apples and sweet cinnamon, perfectly flaky crust that just about melts on the tongue. But it's the full realization of what Hanzo's done--not only remembering some inane conversation from weeks ago, but going out of his way to bring back a gift--that has him struggling to speak.

"Thank you, Hanzo" McCree says when he finally has his voice again. "This is real nice of you." Hanzo gives him a halfhearted smile. "Is this what's been eatin' at you this whole time?"

Hanzo purses his lips and runs his fingertip around the rim of his glass, which is now conspicuously empty. It is a long moment before he answers. "I had hoped to--to have a rather different conversation, but now I believe it might be better saved for another time, if you are not feeling well. It is no matter."

McCree's heart feels full to bursting. He sets aside the box and sits beside Hanzo on the bed. He knocks his hand lightly against Hanzo's and leaves it there, fingers resting in the valleys of Hanzo's knuckles. "Dunno," he says. "Seems like it might be somethin' worth talking about to me."

Realization dawns on Hanzo's face slowly. When he finally meets McCree's eye again, it's with a shy, sweet smile.

Much later, after confessions and dinner and a few self-conscious laughs are shared, McCree offers to split the rather large piece of pie with Hanzo. It's good, and he ends up eating most of it, but finds it tastes better off Hanzo's lips.

[becasbelt]

Chapters: 1/12 Fandom: Pitch Perfect (Movies) Rating: T Relationships: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell Characters: Beca Mitchell, Chloe Beale, Dr. Mitchell (Pitch Perfect), Beca Mitchell's Mother, Aubrey Posen, Jesse Swanson Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, skateboarder!beca, Romance, Angst

Summary:

Beca’s rough past has taught her to despise music, but when a bubbly ginger recruits her to join the Barden Bellas, she will be forced to come face to face with some harsh memories that she’s spent years trying to forget. And maybe – just maybe – she will learn to love music (and possibly something else) once again.

A retelling of Pitch Perfect in which Beca hates music, Chloe loves a cappella, and somewhere along the way they fall in love.

* * *

Beca opens her eyes as she feels the cab come to a stop. She lifts her head from its slumped position and looks out the window of the vehicle, squinting in distaste at what she sees.

It wasn’t Beca’s plan to go to college. She wasn’t one of those teenagers that fantasized about living in a dorm, earning their degree, and meeting some cute boy to have babies with. That just wasn’t Beca.

Her father, however, had different plans for her. As soon as Dr. Mitchell learned that his only child had no plans of pursuing higher education, he’d thrown a fit. Well, it was a very grown-up, professional fit, Beca would give him that, but a fit nonetheless.

At least, that’s what Beca told herself to make herself feel better about this whole situation.

So as Beca looked out the cab window at all the bright-eyed freshman running around Barden University’s campus, it was safe to say that she was less than thrilled to be there.

The cab driver unbuckles his seatbelt and starts to get out of the car, so Beca hurries to do the same. She makes her way to the trunk of the car, which the driver pops with a press of a button on his keys. A nearby housing attendant immediately rushes over to help unload her stuff. He reaches for the skateboard resting on top of all Beca’s luggage, but Beca holds out a hand to stop him.

“I got it,” she says, then pulls the board out of the trunk.

The dude just shrugs before beginning to unload the rest of her stuff.

Beca holds her board loosely by the truck and takes a moment to look around the campus before a perky blonde girl comes rushing over to her.

“Hi there! Welcome to Barden University,” she greets chirpily. “What dorm?”

Beca fights to urge to snicker at the excitement in her voice. “Uh, Baker Hall, I think,” she answers.

“Okay,” blondie says, turning around to point in the opposite direction. “So what you’re gonna do is you’re gonna go down this way, then you’re gonna take a right…”

The girl continues on with her directions and Beca quickly loses interest, glancing off to the side. A car pulls up beside her with the back windows rolled down. The guy singing along to the radio in the back seat notices Beca looking and props himself up to see her better. “Don’t you cry no more, no!” He points at Beca and starts air guitaring along with the music.

Beca watches him, unimpressed. He raises his eyebrows and grins at her, clearly impressed with his own skills. Beca humors him with an amused look before his car drives away.

Blondie is still talking, and Beca focuses on her again when she holds out a map towards Beca. “Your campus map,” she’s saying, “and your official BU rape whistle. Don’t blow it unless it’s actually happening,” Blondie advises seriously.

Beca ignores the map but takes the whistle from her hands and places it between her teeth without breaking eye contact. The girl lets out a small “hm” as Beca side-eyes her and walks away.

* * *

After Beca’s met her psychotic roommate, she decides to procrastinate the unpacking process and flops down on her unmade bed to scroll aimlessly through social media.

A few of her friends from high school had made posts about her leaving, most of them teasing her in some way. The majority of her friends were still all together in Seattle, opting not to go to college, so she was really one of the only ones that had had to say goodbye to everyone. Beca was envious of them.

Soft music starts playing from the other side of the room, some generic pop ballad that she’s vaguely heard playing on the radio before. She ignores it for the time being, focusing instead on commenting on her friend Derek’s photo of her on Instagram.

A few more minutes pass by with the songs changing every so often before Beca feels a headache coming on. She turns her head to glare at her roommate.

“If you’re going to play music, can you at least use headphones?” she asks irritably.

The other girl turns towards her and the two of them engage in a brief glaring war before Kimmy Jin reaches behind her and presses the space bar on her laptop. The room fills with silence once more.

Beca flashes a sarcastic smile in fake gratitude and turns her attention back on her phone. She’s watching a silent video of one of her friends doing a kickflip off a rail when there’s a knock on the door.

“Campus police, hide your wine coolers,” a muffled voice says from the other side. Beca glances up from her phone as the door opens and her dad’s head pokes in. He laughs and Beca rolls her eyes. “Just your old man, making a funny,” he says, stepping fully into the room.

Beca looks back down at her phone. “Chris Rock, everybody,” she mutters sarcastically.

Her dad ignores her, focusing instead on Kimmy Jin. “Hey, uh, you must be Beca’s roommate,” he starts awkwardly. “I’m Dr. Mitchell, Beca’s dad. I teach comparative literature here.”

Beca watches the exchange from her bed with slight amusement. When all he gets is an icy stare in return, her dad turns back to Beca. The humor immediately drops from her face.

“So, when did you get here? How did you get here?” he questions.

Beca stands up from the bed and busies herself with taking random things out of her bags, placing them on the desk. “Took a cab. Didn’t want to inconvenience you and Sheila,” she replies breezily. “How is the Step-Monster?” Beca adds as an afterthought.

Her dad scoffs. “She’s fine, actually. She’s actually in Vegas at a conference for-”

“Oh, I don’t actually care,” Beca interrupts, turning towards him. “I just wanted to say Step-Monster.”

He sighs. “So have you been down to the quad yet?” he asks, trying desperately to salvage this interaction. “In the summer the students like to lay around in the grass and-”

“I don’t want to lay around in the grass, Dad,” Beca cuts him off again. “I want go back to Seattle and start looking for a job, not take classes and waste my time here.”

Her dad rolls her eyes. “Oh, so you mean you want to goof around with those druggie skateboarders you spend all your time with and work at a McDonald’s for the rest of your life?” Beca scoffs and turns away to pull things out of her bag again. “Face it, Beca. You don’t know what you want to do with your life.”

“I know what I don’t want to do,” Beca mumbles under breath.

“We’ve been over this before. College is the best way to find some direction in your life, Beca,” her dad lectures. “So before you go try to ruin your life, you’re going to get a college education. For free, I might add.”

Before Beca can come up with a sarcastic reply, Kimmy Jin turns in her chair. “I’m going to the activities fair,” she deadpans and stands up to leave.

Beca seizes the chance to escape. “Me too,” she quickly says, following Kimmy Jin to the door. “I’m going to the activities fair with my super good friend Kimmy Jin.”

She thinks that her dad might protest, but by the time he starts she’s already half way down the hallway.

* * *

Beca knows Kimmy Jin was just at her side. They walked down to the quad together, albeit in silence, but they were definitely together. The only problem now is that Beca can’t find the damn girl.

She takes some time searching the crowd for her frightening roommate, and spots her over by the Asian Student Union booth. Kimmy Jin is smiling, and seems to have completely forgotten about Beca.

Huffing out a breath, Beca rolls her eyes and begins to wander aimlessly among the booths. She lazily looks to read signs and posters advertising various on-campus groups, but doesn’t take time to consider anything. Nothing here was of interest to her, and she was planning on getting away from Barden University as soon as possible, so there was no point in actually paying attention to anything going on around her.

She was away from her dad, and that was the important thing.

Still, there were a few eye-catching booths here and there. Beca spotted a DJ stand, and upon further observation discovered it was actually for Deaf Jews. There were a bunch of people running around in circles, though Beca didn’t know if that was an organization or just people doing it for fun. All around, Beca was pretty unimpressed.

Then, out of the corner of her eye, Beca finally sees something worthwhile. There was a simple booth near the end of the line with the words “Barden Skate Shop” at display. Beca saw a bored looking blonde dude sitting behind the table handing out fliers and immediately begins to make her way over.

Before she can get very far, a white piece of paper appears under her nose and a voice cuts through the noise around her.

“Hi! Any interest in joining our a cappella group?”

Beca stops short and looks down at the paper before hesitantly taking it and turning to face the girl who stopped her. The girl has wavy ginger hair and the bluest eyes Beca has ever seen. There’s a tall blonde standing next to her who seems like she’s trying to force a smile onto her face.

Turning her eyes back towards the paper in her hands, Beca takes a moment to actually see what’s on it. It’s very amateur-looking, with cut out pictures of girls singing glued over blue shapes and hand drawn music notes decorating the page. The name Barden Bellas is written elegantly at the top.

“Oh, right,” Beca says, holding back a laugh as she looks back at the two girls. “This is like, a thing now.”

“Oh, totes,” the ginger says seriously, nodding her head. “We sing covers of songs but we do it without any instruments,” she goes on to explain. “It’s all from our mouths.”

Beca can’t help the small “yikes” that slips out of her own mouth at the words. She sees the blonde girl’s smile become a little more strained.

Seemingly undeterred, the redhead continues on. “There are four groups on campus. The Bellas,” she says, gesturing between herself and her companion. “That’s us; we’re the tits.”

She goes on to name all the other groups and Beca zones out, chancing a glance over at the Skate Shop booth. The one guy sitting at it doesn’t seem like he’s going anywhere anytime soon, but Beca still wished that she could get out of this conversation to go check it out.

Two hums from in front of her bring her attention back on the a cappella girls. “So, are you interested?” ginger asks.

Beca fights the instinct to roll her eyes and tries for a smile instead. She’ll let them down fast and easy so that she can get the hell out of there.

“Sorry, it’s just… it’s pretty lame.”

Or she’ll go with that. That’s cool, too.

Ginger’s bright smile slides off her face and she looks downward. The blonde, who’s been silent so far, looks like she’s been struck. “Aca-scuse me?” she says indignantly, anger flashing in her eyes. “Synchronized lady dancing to a Mariah Carey chart-topper is not lame.”

Beca stares at the girl in confusion, wondering how she didn’t think the words coming out of her mouth were, in fact, lame.

“We sing all over the world and compete in national competitions,” the redhead tries again. Beca’s eyes flicker to hers.

“On purpose?” Beca asks before she can stop herself.

“We played the Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center, you bitch,” the blonde says sweetly, an over polite smile on her face and murder in her eyes.

Beca raises her eyebrows and fights off a grin, suddenly very impressed with the tall blonde. Her eyes switch back over to ginger as she speaks again.

“What Aubrey means to say,” the ginger cuts in, glancing at her friend, “is that we are a close-knit, talented group of ladies who’s dream is to return to the national finals at Lincoln Center this year.” Beca glances to the side exasperatedly, suddenly very tired of this interaction. When she looks back, sincere blue eyes are locked onto her own. “Help us turn our dreams into a reality?” the girl asks, hesitance in her voice and a small smile playing at the edge of her lips.

Beca looks at her for a moment before deciding to show them some mercy and not reply with any more biting comments. “Sorry, I don’t even sing, and I’m not really that big into music in general, but it was really nice to meet you guys.”

She begins to walk away and spares one last glance at the ginger’s crestfallen expression before heading in the direction of the skating booth, determined to not let the interaction get in the way of what she wants to do.

It was just a cappella. It was just music.

And Beca had promised herself that she would never let herself get sucked into music again.

[team-science-mega-nerds]

When Sam was sixteen, pregnant, and terrified, the last thing her mother said to her was find a church and you’ll be alright. For the past ten years, she’d done just that. Town to town, some stable most not so much, the first place Sam always went was a church. Midvale is no different and because she is alone for the first time since Ruby was born, she goes out of her way to involve herself in the day to day activities of her new church. 

It’d been tough watching Ruby depart for her summer camp. A month might not seem like much in the grand scheme of things, but Sam had struggled to make meals for one and her house was so quiet that she had to constantly play music or risk losing her mind. She wasn’t worried or stressed, just lonely in an unfamiliar way, and she suspects that’s what got her into this mess in the first place. 

“You’ll love it,” Ms. Williamson tells her grabbing her arm in a way that she supposes is friendly, but it feels more possessive than Sam would like. They’re in the middle of sorting through clothing donations in the sanctuary, boxes, and people everywhere. Sam is on unpacking duty with Ms. Williamson. “Just door to door stuff. And you’ll meet some lovely people.” Then, like a switch, Ms. Williamson grabs Sam’s arm tighter and leans close enough for Sam to smell the peppermint scent of her arthritis cream. “But you stay away from the Danvers Ranch.” If Ms. Williamson knew Sam outside of bible study and the occasional smile they shared on Sunday mornings, she would know that telling Sam not to do something is a sure-fire way to get her to do it. 

Sam had only been in town for six months but she’d heard the Danvers family mentioned twice. Apparently, a whole family used to live there, but now it’s just the oldest daughter who runs the ranch on her own. It sounds like hard work. Wyoming is not a forgiving territory and if Sam could be a friendly face, then she was going to be it. 

“I think I’ll give it a shot,” Sam says with a shrug. From the look of Ms. Williamson’s face, Sam’s lack of conformity is not something she’s used to. 

“She ain’t one of us,” Ms. Williamson mumbles into her styrofoam cup of stale coffee. 

“I thought the point was to help people find a way. No matter who they are.” The cold shoulder that Ms. Williamson throws her way doesn’t strike Sam as particularly effective. About an hour into sorting, Sam decides to forgo a late evening snack and a preview of the choir’s Sunday performance in favor of driving into the country. 

She likes this drive. She does it every day on the way to work but in the summer the surrounding mountains and luscious green fields make Sam happy. Genuinely. And if Sam hadn’t been so happy - and lonely - then she might not have taken a sharp turn and driven up the long road leading to the Danvers’ ranch. She might not have grabbed her bible. And she certainly wouldn’t have knocked at the door. 

It’s the waiting game that unnerves her the most. The ranch itself is beautiful and well taken care of. Sam sees horses grazing out in a fairly large open field that takes up most of the 20 acre lot. There’s the main house and a large barn behind it. Sam wonders how one person could ever take care of all of this alone. She’ll have to figure it out another day because she doesn’t think Alex is home. 

“Who’s there?” A shotgun pointed in her direction is exactly the thing that Sam did not need today. She screams. Loud. And then, she reckons with the fact that she’s so far out in the country that no one can hear her. “Oh…” The weapon’s lowered and Sam spots a woman wearing bootcut jeans, blue flannel that’s rolled up to her forearms, and a baseball hat thrown over her hair. If Sam wasn’t so unnerved by the gun, she’d pay more attention to the fact that this woman is a sweaty mess. “You’re wasting your time,” She says nodding toward the bible. “But if you want a glass of water or something, I could use one too.” She doesn’t wait for Sam, as she strides up her front porch and swings the door open. 

Everything about this situation has alarm bells and red flags popping up in Sam’s brain but she follows anyway. Stupidly, that’s for sure. When she steps into the house, it appears just as modest and undecorated as she might assume, but the kitchen is quaint and organized. The woman’s back is to her, the shotgun resting against the counter, while she makes coffee. “I told them to stop sending people here-.”

“They didn’t send me. In fact, they seemed mighty eager for me to stay away from you,” Sam explains. The woman turns around and smiles at that comment. She pours Sam a glass of water and sets it on the counter without a word. “Mrs. Danvers-.”

“It’s Alex,” She corrects. “And it’s ‘Ms.’ if that’s all the same to you.” The coffee percolates on the stove and Alex slides into a chair. Sam can visibly see the tension drain from Alex’s shoulders and when Alex takes off her hat, her sweaty hair is finger-combed back into something that isn’t quite presentable but charming nonetheless. “Do you have a name?” Sam stops staring and clears her throat.

“Samantha.” Alex’s eyes find the bible again, she looks a lot less hostile than she had before, but maybe it’s because she’d shed the gun. “Sam.” Somehow, even though Alex is wearing dirt, sweat, and hay on her clothes and tracking mud on the floor, Sam feels self-conscious about what she’s wearing. Her summer dress suddenly feels too short. The way she parted her hair feels too young. Under Alex’s gaze, Sam is uncertain about everything, including what to do next. 

“I’m sorry you came all this way-.”

“I’m not…” Sam clears her throat again. She reaches for the water, gulps some down, and starts again. “I’m not like the other people who came here. I’m not here to convert you. This is just…” Sam holds up the bible slightly. “Something that we can turn to if you want.” 

Alex stands and heads to her cupboard. She grabs two mugs. “Sit down, then. The last thing I need is someone saying I’m not hospitable.” This seems like a good sign at least. Sam takes a seat at the two-person wooden table and admires a beautiful orchid that’s sitting in a ceramic pot on the table. “My mom bought that for me,” Alex explains, setting a mug in front of Sam. “Every time she visits, she makes sure it’s still alive. That’s her way of checking in.” There’s a bitterness to the comment that feels like a stranger to the warmth and sweet hazelnut flavor of the coffee. 

“Where is she?” 

“Florida. Retirement has worked wonders for her.” Sam notices Alex’s calloused hands, the farmer’s tan on her arms as she tugs off her flannel and reveals a worn white t-shirt and the way she keeps looking outside to check on the horses. “You’re new here?” 

“Hardly. I have a few months under my belt.”

“And before that?”

“Arizona. But I got laid off and somehow someway, ended up here.” Sam shrugs it off. “How are you?” 

“Hm.” Alex smiles for the first time but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Funny question to ask someone you don’t even know.”

“I’m trying to get to know you.” 

“Okay.” Alex reaches for the bible and flips through it. This isn’t absentminded carelessness. There’s purpose in Alex’s eyes. There’s something familiar about it and that gives Sam hope, though she remains unclear of what exactly she’s hoping for. “I gotta get the horses settled. But…” Alex closes the book gently and slides it back toward Sam. “If you want to come around again, I don’t mind.” 

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” Alex stretches her arms and stands up. “I promise not to shoot you if you promise not to push it.”

“I won’t.”

“Good.” Alex walks her to her car. The goodbye is unceremonious but clear. Sam will be back the next day, bible in tow, to talk with a woman who seems like she hasn’t wandered off her ranch in years. 

Sam keeps an open mind as she was always taught to do but that doesn’t stop the nerves from sneaking up on her the following day. Sure, Alex won’t pull a gun on her, but there was still something different about this woman that Sam didn’t understand. The way she’d moved around the kitchen resembled something like a dance. Sam didn’t know how to participate in it, not yet. “You’ll have to give me a minute!” Alex shouts from out in the field. She’s grooming one of her horses, so Sam leans against the fence and watches. 

Alex is well in her element out there. Sam holds her bible close to her chest, awestruck wouldn’t be an overstatement. Thankfully, Alex is finished soon enough, and she joins Sam near the fence. “You might as well leave that in your car.” Today, there’s something playful about Alex and the suggestion. Sam follows Alex into her house again, but she leaves her bible on a table near the door before they go into the living room. “How was your night?” Alex asks. Sam sits on a large couch staring at what seems to be a very happy family photo of the Danvers family. Alex is younger in the picture but most of her features are the same. Now, of course, her hair is much shorter but what little Sam has seen of Alex’s smile is present in the frame. 

“Um, nice. Boring,” Sam admits. “You?” 

“About the same.” Alex enters the room carrying two mugs of coffee. “I thought about you a lot though.” Sam is almost startled by the admission. Almost, because Alex seems to register exactly how flustered Sam gets at the thought, and she enjoys it. 

“Me?”

“Yeah. I wondered what exactly you’d have said to me.”

“What do you mean?” 

“If I told you that I was lost and I wanted to find God again.” Alex sits right beside Sam on the couch. Their legs touch, Alex’s jeans pressing against Sam’s bare knee, and then - as if on purpose - Alex’s arm brushes against Sam’s. “What would you have said?” 

“But you didn’t say that, did you?” 

“Would you have read to me? Or offered to take me to church with you?”

“Neither.” Sam holds Alex’s gaze. “I would’ve talked to you about my journey. And you would’ve listened.” 

“Tell me then.”

“You don’t really care. If this is a game…” Sam starts to stand but Alex grabs her wrist to keep her there. 

“It’s not.” Alex nods and leans back on the couch. “I wanna know about you.” 

“I was pregnant in high school. I didn’t have anyone to turn to. The first church I went to, they fed me, gave me a place to stay, and got me a job. I know that’s not the same experience for everyone. But when people are good and they have real faith...the world is different.”

“And how many ‘good’ people do you know?” 

“Not many.” Sam sets her mug down on a plain block of wood that Alex is using as a coaster. “But a few is enough for me.” 

“I always thought it was beautiful.” Sam can only feel Alex’s jeans, brushing against her leg. Every movement is threatening to make her crumble. Being this close to someone, anyone, is bringing up this bashfulness that she doesn’t understand. And it must, of course, have almost everything to do with intimacy. The fact that Alex is a woman has nothing to do with it. 

“You always thought ‘what’ was beautiful?” 

“Unconditional faith.” Alex spots the bible on the table. She stands, retrieves it, and returns to her spot beside Sam. Only closer this time. “If I asked you to open this book and read me a passage, then I would know you. Fully.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.” Alex sets the bible down on Sam’s lap. “I always thought that if I asked all those people who came here and judged me before they even knocked at my door to do this very thing, they wouldn’t. They wouldn’t know how to share their faith with me. It’s a lot to ask from you, but it takes a lot for me to listen.” 

“Did it occur to you that knowing someone, really knowing them is terrifying?”

“Yes.” 

Sam looks down at the bible, her fingertips grazing the frayed edges of the book. She flips it open to a page that’s already dog-eared and reads. “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings, you will find refuge. His faithfulness will be your shield.” Sam doesn’t look up from the pages for a long time. She knows Alex is watching her but she stills. Had she given in to something she didn’t understand yet? Or was this a trade, like Alex has suggested? 

“You have a beautiful voice.” Sam is astonished by the comment. She’s nothing more than reddened cheeks and eyes that can’t seem to focus, while Alex traces her finger over the word that Sam just read. Sam doesn’t know what to do or say when she realizes that she’s starting to wish that the bible wasn’t in her lap and instead, Alex’s hands were touching her bare skin. 

It isn’t a thought that she’s used to, nor understands. She’d never seen a woman and felt this kind of need. “Have I offended you?”

“No, it’s…” Sam closes the bible. She feels ashamed of the way she’s feeling and cornered by her own thoughts. “Would you like to read more? I can leave this here-.”

“It won’t sound as good in my voice. Keep it.” 

“Well…” Sam crosses her legs, one over the other, Alex’s eyes follow intently. “I don’t think it’s fair that you know me now but I don’t know you.” 

“You can ask me anything.” Alex grins. “I don’t bite.” The tone of the comment makes Sam think that Alex does, in fact, bite. 

“Do you get lonely out here?” The surprise shows on Alex’s face. 

“How can I get lonely? I’m never alone.” Alex finishes the rest of her coffee. She grabs Sam’s hand and pulls her to her feet. She doesn’t let go until they’re standing in the barn. A large speckled grey horse looms over them. “I wake up at 5 every morning. I have a cigarette at noon and 9 and as long as I have that, then I’m happy.” 

“That sounds like an easy life.”

“It is.” Alex pats the horse, they both look very comfortable together. “Sometimes there are distractions. Trouble comes in many forms.” 

“Do you have any other family out here?”

“My sister visits more than my mom but besides that? No.” 

“What about…?” 

“You can just ask you know. If you need to know why everyone whispers about me, then I’ll tell you.”

“I don’t care for gossip,” Sam assures her. “And whatever they’d have to say, I’m certain it wouldn’t be true.”

“It is true.” Something about that fact gives Alex great joy. “I’m not as much of a fucking menace as I used to be.” Sam flinches in a way that she might call childish at the way the swear word comes out of Alex’s mouth. It’s not something she’s used to hearing. “If you ever feel like riding, you know where to find me.” It sounds like the first time Alex has offered something like this. Whereas the invitation to come into her home had been hospitable - ‘the right thing to do’ - there was something far less formal about this. If Sam lingered on it any longer, she might’ve wondered if Alex had any friends at all or if Sam was the first person she could stand to be around. 

Sam is clumsy about her intrigue. She purposefully leaves her bible behind. The gesture doesn’t go unnoticed. Even at home, Sam can’t find a way to keep Alex off her mind. Mindless chores feel mindless and without her bible to lean on memory is her wavering guide. She misses Ruby. She misses dinner for two, even though their kitchen gets too hot, and they have to escape to the table outside to eat. 

She remembers something that’s always stuck with her. Church isn’t just for worship, it’s a sanctuary. So she drives and drives. Clearing her head and not her heart. She parks and enters the open church and prays. 

Now when Sam prays, she doesn’t ask for a lot. Instead, she finds that these are the necessary conversations she needs to get through her long days. At church, she isn’t closer to God, but the ornate stained glass is something beautiful to look at. 

Even in the dark.

[crazyrandomfucker]

Adrien Augreste: Tropical Island

"You're going to what!?" she screamed.

"We're going on holidays to the Agreste's island and we want to take you all with us" explained Adrien.

"Dude, your dad has an island?" asked Nino.

"Technically it's our mother's island, he bought it for her" said Adrienne.

"Man, that's so awesome. We're going to a private island" said Alen daydreaming.

"We've already been there" said Chloe and Cleón at unison.

"People, focus" said Alya. "Why have we only heard about it now sunshines?"

"Because since mom and uncle... You know... Since then, father hasn't let anyone set a feet on the island" explained the blond model.

"But after a lot of begging, he sold the island to us!" said Adrienne excited.

"Gurl, you're telling me that you own an island?" said Nina.

"More like half of it, Adrien has the other half" she explained.

"Well then, when are we going?" said Marin.

"Frankly, we could fly there tomorrow, but probably you'll need time to prepare, so we decided to go next week" said Adrien.

"Most importantly, is there going to be a responsible adult?" asked Mari.

"Girl, you're an adult and a responsible one" teased Alya. "Thought our kwamis have like a few millenias".

"I'd never count Plagg as a responsible adult" said Adrien. "But yes, there will be the staff and our bodyguards to keep an eye on us".

"What a shame, guess we'll have to behave then" joked Nina.

"We still can surprise our boys with some nice tropical views" said Alya with a wink.

"One day of us you're going to kill us" said Nino deadpanned.

"Oh, but wouldn't it be a very pleasurable death?" teased Alya, making Nino blush.

"I'm feeling like a ninth wheel right now" said Cleón.

"Oh but you shouldn't, your boyfriend is invited to come too and so is your girlfriend Chlo" said Adrienne with a hint of mischief on her voice.

"Yeah, wouldn't it be nice? Taking your Sabrina and Sebastian to the beach, stargazing while cuddling, ..." said Adrien with a Chesire grin.

"Okay, we get it! We will invite them but please stop with the teasing!" said a very flustered Chloe.

Everybody burst into laughs, it was very recently that the bees had discovered their secret crush in their life long friends, but everything had gone smooth for them since Raincomprix twins seemed to feel more than simple friendship and admiration for them. So now, the miraculous gang used to tease them a lot, specially because Sabrina and Sebastian had become temporarily the users of the Dog's miraculous back when Hawk Moth and Monarch were still on a rampage. Even with all the teasing, the heroes couldn't help it but to feel happy for them. The bees had surely been throught a lot and become rotten because of it, but they had made the effort to change themselves and improve their behaviour towards others, so everyone knew that they deserved that bit of happiness.

____________________

A week later, Adrien and Adrienne were saying goodbye to their father before they entered the limousine. Their bodyguards/chofers drove them to the Dupain-Cheng bakery to pick up Mar and Mari. While they were going to the airport Adrienne and Marinette were discussing something in a very low voice while the boys, who prefered to ignore what their girlfriends were planning, talked about all the things they could do in the beach, like surfing, snorkeling or paddle surf.

Some moments later, the cats and the bugs were in the airport waiting for their friends. Tue bees arrived moments later with their couples in a helicopter. Sabrina thanked Adrien and Adrienne for the invitation and Sebastian implied a thanks in a weird head gesture. Then, Nina and Alya arrived with their hands pretty empty, but minutes later Nino and Alen appeared carrying a lot of luggage and excusing themselves for being late explaining that some ladies left them to find a parking slot and carry all the luggage. Marin and Adrien laughed at that and helped them to carry some of the bags while Adrienne took the lead and guided them to the private jet.

After some remarks to the cats money and some teasing to the bugs for getting such catches, everybody entered to the plane and made themselves comfy in their seats. The flight wasn't particulary special and nothing happened, but most of them used their very comfortable seats to take a good nap (*cough cough* Mari). They had to make a couple of stops to make sure the plane had enough fuel, so the whole thing dured about 12 hours, but none of them was bored for a single minute. The plane landed around six pm and the group was greeted by the beautyful sight of crystaline water, white sand and a very lovely blue sky. There was a gentle breeze that brought the smell of seawater and palm trees, making the young adults feel as if they we're in the paradise.

They arrived to the summer house that was built there and everybody let their things at the reception, since they still had to organize themselves, make plans and last, but certainly not least, they had to decide how and where would they sleep. It had just recently came to them that they didn't know how were they going to be divided to sleep or if it would even be a necessity for them to divide. But the cats looked at eachother with a particulary mischievous Chesire-like grin.

"It's a pity isn't it brother?" said Adrienne after faking a phone call.

"It certainly is sister, what are we possibly going to do?" agreed Adrien grinning.

"What happens?" asked Marinette suspicious.

"Ah princess, you see there is a problem with the rooms" said Adrien dramatically.

"What happens with the rooms?" asked Marin already predicting the outcome.

"There only are six rooms unoccupied by the staff. What are we going to do?" said Adrienne.

 Everybody looked at each other, flustering as they understood exactly what the models were implying. Marin, however was a bit calm about everything. "We all know what you two are trying to say and I'm pretty sure how we're going to organize the rooms, so how about we get ourselves installed in the rooms and then we meet here" he said.

"As expected of my Lord, so cool, calm and collected" joked Adrien.

"I think it's a great idea sweetheart" said Adrien. Suddenly she grinned. "Ah, but please be careful, all the rooms are insonoritzated and if you fall or get hurt we couldn't hear you even if you were screamingat the top of your lungs" everybody, including Marin, instantly blushed, getting the message.

They split up and were guided to their respective rooms by the staff, who couldn't help but all smile at the sight of the happy group. Adrien, with a very Chat like demaneour, offered to carry some of Marinette's luggage, flexing to prove his point just like he had done all those years ago when Devillustrator had attacked. Mari giggled, amused by her silly cat, and booped his nose, reminding him that she was strong enough to carry her bags and had spare strength to carry him too. Adrien smiled lovestruck by his amazing girlfriend. He really loved teasing her and seeing her blush, stutter or mumble, but he couldn't helpto fall more in love with her each time she returned his teasing or made a move on him.

They entered their room and discovered that, aside from being huge and well equiped, they had a couple sized bed and two normal beds, so the option to share a bed orsleep separatedly was purely for them to make. Flustered, the young model and his designer began to unpack their things and place their clothes in the two separate closets. Marinette sended a text to her parents to reassure that they had arrived safe and sound just in case Marin hadn't already done it.

After gathering again, the miraculous gang (plus the Raincomprix) went to explore the island. It wasn't really big, just around 12 hectares, but there was a small lake in the center of the island, so it wasn't that much of land. They observed the sunset in the beach, watching the sun dissapear as if it was engulfed by the sea. Then, they returned to the summer house and had dinner before returning to their respective rooms.

Honestly speaking, Adrien would never even think of doing to Mari anything she didn't wanted him to do, the whooe tuing about the rooms was just a bit of teasing, but he had tor ecognise that, despite how tired he was, he wouldn't mind to stay awake for a bit if it meant snuggling with his lady and kissing her. But that would only happened if she ever asked for it, so Adrien simply sighed and changed to his pajama while Mari changed in the bathroom. It has to be said, that because of the weather and the constat corporal heat produced by his body, his pajama consisted only of his pijama shorts, which he feared that would scare Mari or misunderstand it for him wanting to do something.

Unbeknownst to him, Marinette was regretting hearing to Alya as she was undressing her self before putting on her pajama, which coincidentally was a pair of lime green loose pajama pants with black paw prints and a very big black jumper with an acid green paw print on the front and two cat ears on the hoodie. She was sure Adrien would be uncomfortable with it and she was going to kill Alya for it, but then she went out of the bathroom and saw Adrien's bare back, with all the muscles he had gained over the years of superheroing, and her face turned crimson red.

"A-Adrien? Are you g-going to sleep l-l-like that?" said Marinette nervous.

"I'm sorry princess, but this cat is too hot to put on a shirt" said Adrien half teasingly.

Marinette suddenly felt less sorry for him and gained some confidence. "Is that so kitty? Why don't you turn around with your eyes closed?" asked Mari.

He did as she said and grinned. "Like what you see Bugaboo?"

"Oh totally~" said Mari. "Why don't you see mine and see if you like it?" said as sue put on the hoodie.

"But m'Lady everything you wea-" begun Adrien but stopped when he saw her, immediately blushing.

"Like what you see Hot Stuff?" teased Mari as she scratched under his chin, melting him into pleasure.

"A lot" said Adrien with a dreamy voice as he couldn't take his eyes of her.

"Good, because this bug is sleepy and will soon cover in the bed sheets, so enjoy whioe you can~"

"Wait Mari" said Adrien snapping out of his dreams. "I'll take one of the mini beds, so take the biggest bed".

"No way, this is your summer house and you won't sleep on a worst bed than me" replied the designer.

"Then how about we take turns for it? You sleep there today, I'll do it tomorrow" said Adrien.

"Hmm... Okay, just for today because I'm too tired to discuss about it" said Mari and she slipped into the bed and fell asleep almost instantly, ingoring how Adrien smiled as he couldn't take his gaze off her.

The next morning, Adrien woke up exactly as he had fallen asleep just four hours ago: laying on his left side (which he could no longer feel) and facing Marinette. He hadn't slept much due to the high temperatures, but he was able to at least dream all night long with a possible future in which he could sleep all night long with Mari, hugging her and waking up with her (preferably with her kiss, but she would probably sleep far more than he). When he woke up, Mari had kicked off the blanket and she was spreading her arms and legs on the bed, her hair was a mess and it was going out of her hoodie, but Adrien thought how cute she was with that adorable face and that messy hair of her.

She woke up and, still half asleep, stared at Adrien for a long time, until she finally acknowledged his presence (and his shirtlessness) and blushed as she rushed to fix her hair, giving him a sheepy and shy smile. Adrien laughed at that and went to her bed to hug her and give her a kiss on the cheek, making her blush turn from a light pink to a crimson red. She gently punched him and told him to dress up to go and meet the others.

Surprisingly thought, they were the first to woke up, which made the super duo burst into laugh and then blush as they realized why could have their friends done last night to make them sleep more than Marinette, which made them blush once again and feel embarrassed. However, Nino came later complaining about how Alya kicks and punches in her sleep as he caressed his leftside and his left cheek. The bees and their lovers came few minutes later, not precisely in a lovey-dovey mood, but acting quite shy. Then Adrienne came and begged Marinette to go to help her waking Marin. Once Marin came, Nina appeared with a somewhat annoyed expression and Alen followed her asking for forgiveness. Apparently, Alen hugs in his sleep and he doesn't precisely let's go which, as Nina said, it was sweet but also claustrophobic.

Once Alya woke up and appologised to Nino, the gang went to have breakfast and then to prepare themselves for the day. The girls decided to go to the beach to sunbath and the boys decided to go fishing at the lake, making a competition to see who was the one to catch the biggest fish. Hours later, after not having caught even a single fish, they decided to put on the swimsuit and go to the beach with the girls. When they got to the beach Nino, Alen, Marin and Adrien were speechless. None of them could take their eyes off their beautyful girlfriends or stop blushing because of their bikinis and the girls surely knew, since all of them suddenly grinned.

Adrien went and occupied the chair next to Mari. Her bikini was ligh pink with white polka dots and it certainly brought up her skin tone. She looked sassier than usual due to her sunglasses and also the mischievous green she had since Adrien appeared. When he sat down, Marinette turned her head and looked at Adrien for a short time, inspecting her swimming trunks and his blue Hawaiian shirt.

"Looking good Hot Stuff" said Marinette teasingly.

"Thanks, y-you too" said Adrien a bit nervous.

"Do you like my looks?" said the designer as she smiled smugly.

"Q-Quite a lot" answered the model.

"Good Kitten" said Marinette and scratched him under his chin.

"Crap, this woman is going to be the death of me" thought Adrien as he gulped and blushed.

"You have it bad kid" whispered Plagg from inside Adrien's shirt.

"Shut up" replied Adrien blushing.

"Well then minou, will my brave knight swim for a bit with his lady?" said Mari as she put down her sunglasses and stood up.

"It will be my honor Princess" said Adrien bowing.

"Let's race then kitty-cat, the winner can give a single order to the loser" said Mari winking as she began to run.

"Oh it's on Maribug" said Adrien as he chased her.

[allhallowsreid]

just lots and lots of very long-winded, random thoughts about last night’s finale and the show itself...

so obvs no one has to agree with me on any of this, i just feel like there likely ARE ppl who feel like this and it’s easy to get shut down on tumblr for having different opinions, and i mostly just need to gather my feelings and thoughts in one place.

-ive seen a handful of ppl upset that the last ep centered around reid, but if you were to take 10 fans of this show, it’s a pretty good chance that 8 or 9 of them would say reid is their fave character. that isn’t me trying to insult any of the other characters, that’s just the way it is. whether it’s bc of his looks (and my lord was he gorgeous in this finale ep), or that he’s your typical cute white boi, or more organic reasons like he’s been there since day 1 and we were able to watch him change and grow, and he’s the opposite of the typical male characters we often see, especially on cop shows.. whatever the reason, he is a VERY popular tv character. and if it weren’t for that character, for better or worse, this show would have ended a long time ago.

-the ending itself.. i just feel like i don’t know what ppl were expecting?? this is not a show like supernatural or dexter or a show that has had a fluent overarching story to tell from start to finish. the story continues without us watching it. it’s another day at the office for them. was it a great ending? no, but it was fine. we see where all of them are headed. endings are so difficult, i’m just glad they didn’t kill anyone off or some garbage like that.

-so damn happy they hooked up luke and garcia. i have had such issues with garcia’s character since morgan left, i feel like she became a caricature, where she just overacts and i recently read an article with kirsten where she actually admitted that when shemar left she really didn’t know what to do with her character anymore. honestly? it showed. the obnoxiousness to luke was cute at first bc she obviously had a crush on him, but then it just became mean and out of character. this season i was happy to see her get a little bit more back to herself. all this being said, they were very clearly headed towards getting luke and garcia together this season with the overt flirting and one on one convo’s, i’m so glad they went through with it instead of leaving it open ended. and i will admit that of all the characters, i didn’t think garcia would be the one to leave, but it made sense. garcia is tough as hell, much tougher than she gives herself credit for, but like luke said, she can do this other job without the gore that she cringes over in literally every single episode of the show. also loved jj saying garcia was the glue of the team. so true, so well said. and side note, kirsten does a hell of a job writing these characters that she knows all too well, the other writers should’ve just let her take over in later seasons.

-prentiss... i love my emily so dang much, but man they give her the absolute worst dialogue. she gets stuck with all these long sentences that just.. they just don’t flow?? and it takes me out of the show so often. this has been since s12 when she became unit chief. there has been a handful of times since she became the boss that we have had flashes of old school smartass goth girl emily, and i cherished each moment, but it wasn’t enough. somewhere along the way they forgot how to write into the show that their characters had PERSONALITY. just as an example of the stupid dialogue she gets.. the end of the ep where it’s intended to look like rossi’s retirement party. then, idk who it was, emilys boyfriend maybe(?) says some dumb comment about oh gee i thought this was dave’s retirement! and then emily starts some awkwardly long line that could’ve been summed up in “dave decided not to retire afterall” and it was just soooo... weird?!!? if we are agreeing that A MONTH has gone by.. you are to tell me that it never once came up that dave said he was gonna retire and then changed his mind!??! that night, one month later, is the first that this discussion occurred!!?!?! and all of these dumb lines come out sounding so robotic, and i can’t blame paget, bc the lines are boring as hell. also unless i missed something i can’t rule emily out of being the next director, especially since their profile ended up being correct, lynch and the mom didn’t kill themselves, so i’m sure when that all came out, the next hurdle emily would have to clear is how they just blew up their very expensive jet right after having a budget meeting 2 episodes ago!!

- i’m gonna lump the newer characters together.. and just say that it was all too little, too late. they tried to give matt and luke more this season, and the ep’s centered on them were great, but it all felt forced to me. all this character development should’ve started as soon as they came onto the show. the relationships between the new and original characters also feels forced a lot of times, barring relationships like rossi and his boys, luke and garcia, tara and emily.. i mean that’s kind of all, right? we never saw much off-the-job, personal interactions between them and the rest of the characters, did we? and the way tara was treated on this show is inexcusable. aisha’s talents were so underused on this show it was criminal (pun intended). and actually, the above stuff i said about emily getting nonsense dialogue, you can throw matt in there too. his dialogue was friggin god awful at times on this show. in the words of early seasons reid, maybe try to be more conversational, writers!!

-man oh man was jj a badass and a half in this finale. tbh i always enjoyed liaison jj more than ssa jj, but when badass jj comes out i get all excited. i do feel like she would be the best fit to take over if emily left, she’d stepped into that role before and excelled. but she is another character that at times i think the writers just forgot how to write her personality somewhere along the way. i understand that the reality is that people change over time, but there were times that she was written like a typical high school mean girl, and that was just an insult to the character they created. the whole jeid thing was severely overblown and unnecessary. i don’t hate the idea of them being together, but why wait til s14-15 to deal with this? in the end i thought it was handled okay, i personally didn’t feel like it ruined their friendship or stayed awkward, which i appreciated, it was just a storyline that wasn’t needed and wasted time. also, ppl griping about “oh but she clearly loves will, if she loves spencer then she can’t love will!” i mean, actually, ppl are capable of loving more than one person at a time, hate to burst that bubble for ya.

-this seems like a good moment though to pause and just get this out about will lamon-fuckin-tagne jr... this guy is too good for jj lol, i am sorry but he is such a great guy. and can we review some things about will and his wife’s bestest friend, godfather to his children, spencer reid?? when will and spencer first met, it was during an unbelievably personal case to will, i mean his father died sending him a message about this case that the fbi was called in on. and his first intro with reid?? let’s see, reid spent that ep strung out on drugs, and full on abandoning the case to go hang out with his friend at a club/bar/lounge/whatever. ok, so that’s will’s first impression of jj’s bestie, and will STILL okay’d him being the godfather of his kids. not to mention, can you imagine your wife has been gone in the damn middle east for who even knows how long, then when she finally gets back and you think you’re gonna have her to yourself, but oh no, here comes jj’s friggin bestie again to come cry on the couch every night for several weeks!!!! and he gives zero indication of not liking spencer, in fact he seems rather fond of him. will is the most patient man ever, i swear.

-ok that was an unexpected side track. moving onto rossi. not sure why they were all like oh pfft this guy will never retire. the dude literally retired before the show started lol. if he retired once, when he was fairly young, why is the idea of it happening again so impossible? again, dumb dialogue. i loved the stuff with him and young gideon (i may be biased tho bc i’m just so damn proud of ben savage), i loved that rossi knew more about the jet than the others, however that was an inconsistency bc when rossi came back from retirement, he couldn’t believe the bau had its own jet. unless i just misunderstood what emily meant when she said it all started with rossi and gideon. i felt like lynch was a very underwhelming villain. super forgettable. there was no charisma like foyet or cat adams, there was no creep factor like mr scratch, there was no mystery like the replicator or the fisher king. his whole story just fell flat, and if there were anything interesting about him whatsoever, it’s bc of what rossi brought to the table, not the “chameleon”.

-my boy reid. he has several lifetimes of baggage to unpack, and i think of all the characters on this show, no one hates unpacking their trauma more than reid. i feel like it was so relatable that he could barely speak in this ep without sounding on the verge of tears, like every sentence was painful to even get out bc of how much hurt is stored up inside him. his trauma has defined him for years now, and if they had ended the show without addressing even some of it, the show would’ve been incomplete. i understand that actors schedules just don’t work out sometimes, but idk what the point was of having strauss and foyet be his devil and angel. and foyet’s long explanation of how bc he changed hotch, he changed the team was so convoluted that he may as well have just said “they couldn’t get james van der beek or the dude who played mr scratch, so im here instead”. i liked what they did with reid and maeve, and i actually don’t mind that there was no mention of max. they’re still very early in their relationship, and i feel like him coming out with some “wait i think i love max!” revelation would just be too fast and ooc. we already know that the relationship between them is growing, it doesn’t need to be said. and can i get an amen that maeve and reid didn’t kiss bc god that would’ve been weird as hell.

- i hate that we couldn’t have hotch or morgan or blake or elle or any of the main characters that helped make this show what it was, but i’m still grateful for the crumbs they gave us if the actors just couldn’t be booked for whatever reason. i’ve seen many shows at their end just try to pretend their previous characters never existed, so that we got some flashbacks with them was appreciated.

- RIP bau jet. i wiiiill reMEMber youuuuuuu.

-the song choice of david bowie’s Heroes was perfection. strangely, when i was driving home from work yesterday that song came on my playlist and i blasted it on repeat and performed a car concert for my fellow drivers on the road, and thought to myself that this song would be great for cm to end on. never thought they would actually do it since they had previously used the song in penelope’s ep. but what a great scene of all them dancing and singing and laughing like the bunch of nerdy idiots they are.

-i came late into the game with this show. ppl have been telling me for years to watch it and i only picked up watching in s13, after i read a spn/cm crossover fic and became super curious about who all these awesome characters were. with that said, i’m aware that since i haven’t invested years of my life in this show, that my feelings and thoughts about the ending will be different than those who have been hooked on this show for over a decade. i’m still just so thankful for the family portrayed by this show, and these characters i fell in love with, and episodes i’ll never forget.