#like. i have to think of the 3rd semester interactions and how often you got to be a bitch to akechi

[buqbite]

deleted that shuake post so i could remake it w an extra doodle later but. i kind of already forgot most of what i wanted to say w that. dammit

[sadnightforus]

PARTY 4 U  (HVC)

party-goer!vernon x party-thrower-gn!reader

SYNOPSIS: What's a better way to catch the attention of the man that you’ve been silently (or not so silently) pining for since your first year of college? Throw a party of course, or go to the same party that he attends. You chose the former, throwing the party, as you only have a semester left until you both graduate. Your prayer was answered when he showed up, but will he return your feelings too?  

WORD COUNT: 4.3K

WARNINGS: alcohol, marijuana and drugs usage, yearning, implied suggestive content, a little misunderstandings, a few cuss words, insecurities. The reader is sort of implied to be AFAB with outfits and such but I’m writing mc to be as neutrally gendered as I can. mentioned of yves from loona (ha sooyoung the goat). I try to keep the hair color out of the picture so it’ll only mention the hairstyle!  

A/N: Nobody knew but I'm Charli's biggest fan (the Jaehyun’s fic next life was based on her demo). Also wrote this cause Vernon is a huge Charli’s fan. In honor of the mv to this song finally dropping, I dedicate this song to him <3 (also why is this au so long???)

reblogs, comments and likes are appreciated! 

“Are you sure that he’s coming?” Your friend asks, her arms crossing as she looks at you with skepticism. 

“I’m sure. The news is all over the campus.” You say, masking your own fear behind the confident and nonchalant persona that you think you have mastered over the years. 

“Well…” She trails off, before slowly stepping out of the kitchen and she picks up one of the lighters to do god knows what. 

 As the neon lights that are installed from every corner of the room flashes across everybody’s faces, making them look alluring like stars under the spotlight and the sounds of people talking pass by your ears, you are reminded of how you got here.  

 Let’s start at the very beginning.  

 You recalled, the second semester in your first year of university, where you thought that your regular life would proceed with the usual boring, mundane and predictable routines, becomes much spicier. 

 As you sat in your seat for your first lecture of the day, and only had 7 minutes left until the professor entered the classroom, you saw a man who walked into the lecture hall with confidence and his head held high, headphones covering both of his ears, as his washed denim jacket and the white plain shirt tucked loosely and ragged against his skin in a way that suggests that he knows a thing or two about dressing up. You were face to face with the most beautiful man you’ve seen, who will be your classmate. Your first impression of him was that he must’ve been a confident person, maybe even someone who socializes and interacts with others quite often, a friendly person. 

 You hoped to get to know him better. 

 By the second year, as you continued to share classes with him, and being in the same class as him for many months made you realize that your first impression was the opposite of him. Sure, he was kind, but he keeps to himself a lot, and he hangs with a circle of people, who are all popular. This made you distressed, actually. You might’ve had some excuses to get close to him if he was more outgoing, but he wasn’t.  

 So you spent the next two years silently admiring him from afar, even actually went as far to change your ways. Although you are quiet, also remain in the background at first and never quite fond of parties, as you prefer to do real night outs like at abstract places or places buzzing with extreme energy, you slowly find yourself going to parties that his friends throw. 

 Then, there was an incident in the 3rd year of college, where you recalled that it was your second party of the school year, where you also smoked weed for the first time. Lame. You know. But you typically don’t ever indulge in them, mainly only alcohol and cigarettes on the side. But he tasted like marijuana and the love that you’ve harbored for him all this time as your tongue slipped down his throat in the dingling bathroom that shone of bright blue neon lights, inside Chan’s house. 

 It never went further than that. 

 You both kissed. And kissed. You both did this when the opportunities arose, which is whenever the conversation took a different direction, and occasionally hung out where he was the one to call first. It’s quite impressive that you both go this long without getting physical. 

 It’s a routine that you never get used to, but always looking forward to. You both hardly made out, but you both talked to each other quite a lot, for people who had no affiliations and thread on the lines of strangers, friendship and romantic relationship. You’d notice— sometimes, he showed up at the parties, sometimes, he didn’t. Admittedly, you were disappointed, as you put on the prettiest dress and so much effort was wasted just for it to not be seen by him. 

 You felt like you were being played, and even your friend tried to knock some sense into you. 

“I told you a million times. He’s playing with your feelings.” Your friend, Sooyoung, reminded you again as you did your makeup for a party that you heard that he’d attend. 

“I know.” You muttered in annoyance, even though your friend was right about it. In your head, you’d 

“And you do the same thing, every time.” She complained as she watched you repeat the process of dolling up, it wasn’t surprising to her at all, but like normal human’s nature, she herself got exhausted as she watched you stuck in a cycle of unreciprocated love. 

“Do you think I’m an idiot?” You questioned, rolling your eyes as the brushes stroked against your skin. Sooyoung looked at you with her judgmental stare, her tongue spelled it out, loud and clear. 

“Sort of.” 

 That was the conversation that you had with her. It’s a mantra at this point. 

 And every time that she was right, each time after the party ended, you went home and wallowed in self pity and inferiority. And Sooyoung watched you being pathetic and hopeless like that, but you just wouldn’t listen. 

 You’re determined to change it today. 

 That’s why you managed to convince Sooyoung to help you with the party preparations. And she swore up and down that this is the only time she’d ever help you if you did something for Vernon to notice you. 

 Your parents’ house, now left empty for days now, has transformed from a living space into a place for entertainment, void of treasures and valuables that could be stolen or broken, as you locked them away. 

 How… pathetic you are, throwing a party for a guy who you’re in this weird talking stage with. 

 You put on the shortest dress, one that makes even the less-than-holier you feel uncomfortable. But really, for the sake of him, you’re willing to endure the discomfort. And your lipstick was carefully applied and curated in a way that makes your lips kissable, in hope that he would find it hard to not be kissing you until nothing around you both mattered.  

 The sound of kisses, laughter and music fill your ear, but you tune it out as you stand in the kitchen, directly facing the front door, even from the very back away. With this place, you can effectively monitor the event and also see the newcomers of the party firsthand, as quickly as you can. You have nothing on you, not even the drink, because you wanted to be sober enough to see his face. You can’t afford to be so drunk that you’ll be throwing yourself at a guy because he looks just like Vernon, or you made it all up. 

 Time passes by quick, as quick as the time that it took for you to realize that you harbored more than a feeling of admiration for that boy you saw in your first year of college, as quick as your impulsivity to throw this party, just to have him come to your house. 10, 20, 30, 40, and 57 minutes passed by since it started, yet you can hardly spot even his friends walking through that door first. 

 60, 70, 80 passed and there’s anybody but him passing through that door. You start to get impatient and anxious. You try so hard to not bite on your now manicured nails, you want Vernon to notice all those pretty little charms on your nails, in hope to be appealing to him. 

 There’s a nagging in at the back of your head that goes; 

 What if he doesn’t show up?

 Then it would mean nothing, would it? 

 What do you even call him? He’s not your friend with benefits. And certainly not your boyfriend, far from an acquaintance or just merely a classmate. But are you friends with him? 

 99 Minutes has passed, you let out a sigh as the night grows older. 

 You remember today that it was a full moon, and even if you don’t believe in anything like manifesting, you make a prayer. You close your eyes and make a wish for every second that counts. 

 May he show up. May he return your feelings.  

 If only he shows up exactly on the 100th minute.  

 You open your eyes, and you’re met with the striking figure that has stolen your breath 4 years ago. At the same time, it has been 100 minutes since you’ve waited for him. Just as you wish. 

He came through that door like a star, shining bright in the sky, out of your reach, only letting you admire his beauty before he walked out again. 

 His hair has been dyed back to brown, after a period of him bleaching it in a dark blonde. This hair color makes him look even more unattainable, to you. It highlights his beauty and his deep set eyes so beautifully that you’re left to stare at the universe's creation, who knows your name, and exists in the same time as you, but not your heart. 

 That’s what love does. It breaks your heart but you can’t stop wanting him. 

 He comes with a few friends, you think you see Wonwoo, the most introverted person ever, comes out of his hibernation. There is probably something in the stars, but you don’t want to overthink things. You also spot Soonyoung, the most introverted person, tags along. It’s like they’re there to balance Vernon tonight, seeing the polar opposites of them both. 

 The metal necklace around his neck, which you instantly recognize that it’s from a brand that he has been wanting to get for quite awhile, as you remember this fact from one of the talks with him, the washed, rough looking denim jacket and jeans, and a tank top that has texts written all over, which you couldn’t be bothered to read, as you are distracted by the man that you’re at least 20 feet away from. Vernon greets the people who greet back to him, but keeps the interaction short and almost professional, as if it wasn’t his intention to get to know new people.

“So, are you going to talk to him?”

“Jesus, you can’t warn me beforehand?” You lose your balance and stumble backward as Sooyoung’s voice snaps you out of your daze when looking at the man who is in your vision. You feel like an invisible wall has been built just for you both to act like nothing has happened. You don’t know when she will even come back.

“You throw a party for him but you won't even talk to him? Really?” She looks at you like a disappointed mother, and honestly, she probably is. “You know this is your last chance.”

 Right, it’s so goddamn close to the graduation period. And nobody, including him, will attend parties by then. They’ll be too busy studying. 

 You roll your eyes, fed up by her, but you just lack the courage, as you fear rejection more than silence. But it also kills you to not know what he is thinking about, or his opinion on you. He’s too calm and stoic, while you're an open book of an emotional mess.

“Give me a blunt or alcohol first, maybe I’ll find it in me to go and finally say it.” You say it as a joke, but Sooyooung doesn’t take it so lightly. She just silently opens the cabinet and reaches for a plastic cup, then fills it with some soju, while her face shows that she reaches her breaking point. 

 You can only stare at her in horror. She means business.

“You can’t complain that you’re nervous now, here.” You got handed a drink and like a grateful friend you are, you just sadly thank her, and then gulp down, finishing the first cup after a while.

 After 3 cups of it, as served by your friend, you finally find it in you to go and walk around to Vernon, who is seemingly standing in the corner, on his phone and keeping an eye out for Hoshi and apparently, also Seokmin, who you have no idea when did he get here. Nonetheless, you pick a place, standing not too close to him, leaning against the wall, trying to not show the significance of his presence in your brain.

“Hi.” You smile awkwardly as Vernon seems to finally snap out of his daydream or train of thoughts. “Sorry I’m late to greet you. As a host, that’s impolite.”

 You try to insinuate subtly that this party is not just any party, it’s yours, one that you threw it in hope for him to come.

 Surprisingly, Vernon smiles back, he didn't seem disappointed, and he seems to be in quite a friendly mood. 

“I know, that’s why I came.”

 You swear that you’re delusional but that’s… crazy to hear it. It makes it sound like he came to this party because you throw it.

“Really? I guess the rumors go around as intended.” You chuckle, trying to extend the time you have with him. “Is the party to your liking? I throw it for the first time, so I’m quite nervous.”

 You're lying, you’re more nervous about your crush right here, you’re not worried that the party isn't good, but you want the party to be good for him,  

“No. The party is really fun.” He reassures you and you can tell that it comes from his heart, so the tension from your body slowly eases out little by little. “But I don’t feel like doing anything, so I’ll sit and watch.”

 Your smile subtly drops. Should you celebrate the fact that he isn’t so drunk by now that he most likely will kiss someone or upset that he doesn’t think it’s cool enough to let loose? You put on that plastered, perfect subtle smile to hide that growing ugly feeling of disappointment that attempts to eat you. 

 You almost ask him why he even bothered to come to your party then. 

“I guess I’ll do the same then.” You shrug it off, biting the inside of your tongue lightly, preventing yourself from utter more words that would ruin the mood. 

“Hmm.” He nods, then he looks at you, like he always has been. You just never notice it, but he sneaks glances at you. “Did you do something to your hair?”

 You can’t hide your expression that goes from stunned to one filled with happiness. So he notices that your hair has been dyed as you needed a new change in appearance and even completed with slight curls. 

“Oh yeah I did. The color fades away so I dyed it.” 

 The last time he saw you properly (and last time you both kissed) was at least a month ago. Since then, Vernon appeared less and less in your line of sight and you thought that you lost him for good, but he still shows up to his classes, just that he barely goes to parties for unknown reasons. 

 You both fall into a comfortable silence, from outsiders’ perspective. From your perspective, it’s as awkward as it comes, but you have to pretend that you don’t enjoy being near him, even if the atmosphere was nothing short of platonic. If only they know the history that you both share together.

 You inch yourself closer to him, doing ever so subtly, by pretending that it’s all accidental, but you might've been too eager, and he can probably tell that you faked your nonchalance around him. 

 Something about him tonight seems different– he talks less, and he lingers his stares to spaces that you can only imagine, or hope it involves you. You missed the taste of cannabis, the liquor whether it’s cheap or highly sought after because it’s the finest drink on earth, nicotine, or soda; anything really, as long as it sits on his lips, and his tongue allows yours to intertwine like he’ll never let this go. But with the way the silence seems to be stilling everything around you both, even if your own party turns obnoxious and chaotic, you still yearn for the excitement that he can give you. 

The pink balloons start float around, and you don’t remember setting it up at all, in fact, you don’t remember seeing this many balloons in your life in a single space, but when you see Sooyoung just keeps bringing them more and more, and the sound of music and music goes from a mild to extreme joy and recklessly wild, you know that it’s getting out of control. You do nothing to stop it. 

 Vernon suddenly nudges you, then you only by then notices that he took sips of champagne, and you have no idea who provided him that. But as his lips are pressed to the glass, you are reminded of how his kisses usually taste like, and it has you wondering, wanting to know what it feels like if you kiss him right now. You wonder, would it taste sweet, or would the champagne taste like a sour heartbreak that you only can swallow it down with every will that you have?

“Can we talk somewhere private for a bit?”

 Is he finally addressing the tension and the weird relationship that you have going on?

 You feel like you need another drink, but the alcohol finally hits a little after a long while, so it washes some of your doubts away. It really boosts that confidence, while you’re less than completely sober. 

“Oh sure.”

 You follow his lead, and it was really somewhere, so goddamn quiet and secluded, in fact, nobody would’ve come to check the available spot here at all. The fact that it was upstairs made your mind run with wild thoughts but you calmed yourself down, not wanting to get your hopes up, just to be let down.

“You look like you’ll be cold.” He says, inspecting you as he takes off his jacket, and it drapes all over your figure, providing an additional warmth to your body– and maybe even heart. 

 You don’t understand why he’s so nice all of the sudden. You both barely talk, what was the last meaningful conversation you had with him again?

“Why-”

“I-”

 You both speak at the same time, interrupting each other. Vernon, the man that he is, speaks up, his voice is deep, husky and brings this weird emotional feeling to you.

“You go first.”

 You sigh, searching for the look in his eyes that he somehow feels the same as you do. You’re met with the familiar warmth, which makes it hard to read. Why does he look at you like this? You hate that he isn’t an open book, unlike you.

“Why are you so nice to me?” You question him, voice wavers from the underlying vulnerability that threatens to surface and spills over any time soon, if you don’t have a hold of it. “You’re so confusing, I don’t understand you.” You bite your lips, trying to hold back from becoming an unpleasant memory to him.

 For the first time ever, his eyes flicker with an emotion– there’s confusion and almost… affection, but also hurt. You both have been walking on this weird line that blurs between a normal and intimate relationship, one that doesn’t hold any value or title but so much substance yet with no filling. It’s like chasing a high that never stops. And you hate chasing it, you want a definite answer now.

“Because…” He looks at your face, observing how there is an expression of melancholy, regret and shame. “You have always been there, you have always been someone to me.”

 Your face drops, again, but he is quick to clarify.

“I came to this party because you threw it.” He gulps, and you see the facade that he works so hard to build starts to crack, little by little. “Because it is you, it has always been.”

 He inches closer to you, and the tears now are filling your visions as you finally hear the confirmation, which he cups your face gently and wipes it away.

 You cry as you feel his gentle touch, this is what you were dying to hear, but the ‘I love you’ hangs in the air like a ghost, even as the pink balloons and the DJ mixes fly around to accompany this newly changed atmosphere between the two of you. You close your eyes, and then re-open, confessing it to him. No more games, no more pretense. 

“I threw this party, just for you. I was hoping that you would come and see me.”

 He looks at you like you just hung him the moon, and his hands gently fall to caress your soft lips now. You know what he wants, you both want it, but there is too much to talk about.

“Then you succeeded. I couldn’t miss my chance to see you either.”

 You really almost wanted to cry, fuck. He’s too sweet. You’re glad that you both are on the same page. 

“Do you remember the first time we talked?” 

“…”

“You probably don’t remember…” Vernon mutters, looking disappointed and you just pout in his hold. All his moodiness disappears, he can’t ever be mad at you.

“Mr. Song’s class, that’s the first time we talked.”

You remember that it was the first semester of the second year, that one time he got sick and he ended up reaching out to you through a friend of a friend to send over the class’ materials that he greatly missed. The interaction was short lived and so insignificant to you that you blocked it from your memory. You feel like shit for not remembering it.

“I make excuses to see you, and kiss you every time. I feel sorry that I took advantage of our friendship… like that.”

“Friends don’t kiss.” You state, your eyelashes batting so prettily as your heart beats wildly, syncing with his. “And I’d like to kiss you again.”

 This time, he pulls you closer, and then you feel it– the kiss you have been waiting for. Your eyes are closed in contentment, feeling like jello. You finally know what is the taste and flavor that sits on his tongue– the finest champagne there is out there, and it tastes like addiction and the future with him that you hope will become a reality as you wake up next to him onward.

 As the neon lights cast a shadow, changing colors constantly from blue, pink, purple, and everything in between, so are your swirling thoughts, but they only involve him, and the same goes to the man who can’t get enough of the taste on your tongue, which mirrors his, despite you drinking a pretty cheap alcohol that slowly fades away as his tongue acts as a cleanser, attempting to vacuum it away. 

 Once the oxygen runs out and the unbearable urge to breathe consumes you both again, you pull away, your body trembles slightly in exhaustion due to prolonged makeout session. The intense high you try to chase through kissing seems too far out of reach now, but at least you have your answer now.

“I love you, Y/N.”

 You don’t have to say it back, you never have to, as you reach over to kiss him on the lips, now incoherent and too drunk on the taste of his tongue. 

 And the neon lights switch to pink, celebrating the new relationship changes and a now clear definition between you both.

BONUS

“Hey, where did Vernon go?” Soonyoung asks Wonwoo, who’s lost in his own reality of god knows what. He didn’t even want to come, but Vernon bribes them with favors to pay for their lunch and that’s how the man himself got Wonwoo to come to this place.

“How would I know?” Wonwoo groans, and then a presence of an unfamiliar girl walks to them, she looks like she is looking for them both personally.

“Are you Soonyoung and Wonwoo?”

“Yeah. But who are you?” Soonyoung is quick, and Wonwoo’s soul already leaves his body, his exhaustion catches up to him.

“I’m Y/N’s friend, Sooyoung. Does that ring any bells?” 

 Soonyoung sits up, yes. Now he remembers why Vernon begs them to come to this fucking party. Sooyoung smiles at the flicker of the recognition in his eyes. He knows how you look, and you, but not the girl in front of him.

“Look over there.” She points to their right, which is the direction of the staircase, and Wonwoo, who wasn’t interested at first, follows her command, and then sees something unbelievable.

 Vernon, his arm slings around you, and even the jacket wraps around you. He knows, they know instantly that it has to be Vernon’s– nobody wears that DIY-stitched up jacket and the denim that got abused to the point it almost becomes white.

“Is that what I think it is?” Wonwoo questions, he looks like he couldn’t believe his eyes. He thinks to himself that Vernon would definitely get more annoying now that you both make it official. He definitely didn’t sign up for that.

“Yep.” Sooyoung’s voice confirms their suspicion– and the cherry on top? Vernon kisses your hand and cheeks, you both laugh as the purple light shines on you both, making you both look like the romantic leads in a play. The act that is too intimate for two people who sometimes hang out with each other.

“I’m going to kill him if they both start kissing now.” Is the last thing Soonyoung said before he turns away, ignoring the sight of you both. But they’re all happy for the both of you, even if it comes in the form of annoyance.

 Now both men just need to make sure that Vernon can pay their lunch fees now. After all, Vernon dug his own grave for suggesting the deal that he’ll totally get them expensive takeouts if you do happen to like him back.

COPYRIGHTED BY SADNIGHTFORUS, 2025

[seokjinsdisciple]

Switched

jinyoung x reader

when you switch places with your twin sister to teach English in South Korea. You quickly find you’re worse at the job than you think. Luckily, kindergarten teacher Jinyoung helps you navigate the waters of teaching and help your class pass their end of the year exams. 

requested, unedited

warnings: oh boy where do i even begin, sub jinyoung, baby boy and mommy used excessively (im not sorry), overstimulation (sort of), nipple play, jinyoung is just really subby and cute ok, let me know if im missing anything bc this is a mess

word count: 3.1 k 

There was a certain way that your twin sister had about her that made it impossible to say no. She had used this against you her entire life, and it hadn’t stopped as you grew out of teenagers and became adults. In fact, her requests got more and more demanding. Which is how you found yourself on a 15-hour flight to South Korea. 

It was a simple switch really, she had gotten pregnant and wanted you to fill in for her. She had spent about half of the year teaching English to 6th graders and couldn’t leave for half of the year. You were pretty positive that she had just told you that so she wouldn’t have to pay rent on the year-long lease she had signed, but honestly, you were kinda excited. Not about the kids, you had no idea what to do with them, but more so about living in a different country kinda thing. 

The flight was long, and you spent the whole time watching movies, unable to sleep. So, admittedly you were exhausted when you stood in front of your new apartment. You made your way inside, and you had to be honest, the apartment was way nicer than your home back in the States. It was nowhere near as big, but it was filled with nicer, comfier furniture and a giant bed that you couldn’t resist. 

You awoke with a start, rubbing your eyes and groaning. You had no time to waste since your first day in the classroom was supposed to be today. You hadn’t made any plans for your students, but you didn’t have enough time to make one. Scurrying around the apartment you pulled together a business casual outfit, grabbing a piece of toast from the toaster and hurrying out of the apartment with only one shoe on. The other shoe balanced delicately in your hands with a cup of coffee, and your toast. 

By the time you made it into the school, You were more put together. You were still extremely nervous about meeting the students and you were praying that they would be nice to you. You weren’t too fond of kids, and, unlike your sister, you were terrible at interacting with them.

Your thoughts of the day were taking over, and as you desperately searched for your sister's classroom, you bumped into a broad chest. 

“Hey, you ok y/s/n?” A handsome man asked, his sweater showing off his broad shoulders. You had no idea who this guy was, but damn your sister for failing to mention that someone so handsome existed. You smiled at him, your cheeks heating up as you stared, looking for some sort of name tag. You couldn’t find one.

“I’m ok, just kinda lost for some reason,” you laughed, “My brain hasn’t started yet, I guess.”

“Ah, well maybe I can point you in the right direction?” The man said, looking at you quizzically, you were clearly failing at convincing him you were actually your sister. If he had any questions, though, he didn’t ask them. Instead leading you down a winding hallway and into a classroom. 

“Ah, it’s good to be back,” you smiled, praying that he wouldn’t be too suspicious, “Thanks for your help!”

The man just took one glance behind him, before deciding to just close the door of the classroom. 

“So you’re the twin, right?”

“Uh, I don’t know what you mean…” You tried, glancing at the desk and seeing the picture of you and your sister. She could be a real idiot sometimes. The man just raised an eyebrow at you, glancing at the picture on the desk and then back at you. 

“Listen, I know you aren’t y/s/n,” he stated, “she’s never this nice to me. Plus, what kind of teacher forgets where their classroom is?”

You let out a nervous chuckle at his accusation, it was only the first day and you had already been found out. 

“Don’t worry,” he added, “I’m not gonna tell anyone. My name’s Jinyoung. It's nice to meet you…”

“YN,” you said, taking his outstretched hand and shaking it, “I really don’t want to get my sister in trouble, so it would be really great if you kept it a secret.”

“Like I said, I am not gonna tell anyone,” he smiled, “but you are going to need to learn everyone else's names if you are going to try and pull this off.”

That was how you found yourself studying the school’s website, trying to memorize faces and names, with Jinyoung’s tips about their respective personalities. One thing you learned was that your sister wasn’t liked here, probably another reason she hadn’t wanted to tell you who she was working with. You got to talking with Jinyoung and learned that he was a kindergarten teacher. You and Jinyoung talked through your planning period, at least that’s what he called it, and when you told him you had no clue what you were doing, he suggested putting on a movie, an English movie of course. 

You stared at the list of names on your roster, Jinyoung laughing at your pathetic attempts to pronounce their names. He had to write out the pronunciation just so you could get it somewhat recognizable.  As you called the students of your class up during the first period, you had them write an English name that you could call them by. It was just easier and the kids seemed to be relieved that you weren’t going to butcher their names, although you did feel kinda bad about not calling them by their names. You explained to them that you'd be spending this semester watching and dissecting movies before putting one on. 

As time passed, this became your teaching method, watch a movie with the kids, and go over any questions about words that they had after the movie. You weren’t really sure if this was an effective way to teach English, but you didn’t have any better ideas. Jinyoung had become your only friend, as the rest of your school hated your sister, it just made sense. Especially because he knew about your little secret. It had become apparent that the two of you were attracted to each other. Both your students and he had started asking if the two of you were dating. You, of course, denied it, because he was just your friend. No matter how handsome he was. You shook thoughts of Jinyoung out of your head as you started to clean up the pizza party you had to help calm down the kids. You had never met kids who were as stressed out like these ones. Plus their exams were in a few days, and they needed a little break. 

You let out a quiet curse word as a cough rang out from behind you. 

“Any pizza left for me?” Jinyoung asked, his presence beside you sending you into the same thought process that you had been in before. You cleared your throat, reaching for a plate to hand to him. 

“The leftovers are all yours,” you smiled, chuckling at his over-exaggerated hand heart that he sent your way. 

“I was wondering if you wanted to get a drink tonight?” Jinyoung asked, a mouthful of pizza making his words hard to understand. 

“What?” You laughed, “Chew your food first you monster.”

He just laughed with you, covering his mouth as he chewed, “Sorry, I was wondering if maybe you would want to get a drink with me tonight?”

“Ms. Y/L/N, you have to go with him!” One of your students whined, apparently he had forgotten his coat for recess. Jinyoung just grinned at you, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. 

“Stay out of it,” you warned, shooing the boy back to recess. Your focused honed in, ignoring a grinning Jinyoung and busying yourself with tidying the plates and napkins. 

“You should listen to him,” Jinyoung sang, heat flaming your cheeks as you looked at him. 

“I’ll get drinks with you, but only if you SWEAR not to tell your kindergarteners, deal?”

At this, Jinyoung just chuckled, “It’s a deal, I’ll pick you up outside of your room at promptly at 4:30.”

It was your turn to laugh, the banter that the two of you often shared making a warm fuzz to fill your tummy. The fuzz that was normally only achieved through alcohol. You ignored the periods after lunch, your thoughts filling with Jinyoung. To be fair, most of the conversations your students were having were about you and Jinyoung too. The word of the date spreading quickly through the 6th grade, and you were assuming through the rest of the school. 

Your nerves didn’t pick up until your students were dismissed. Frankly, you couldn’t stand the thought of grading worksheets when you knew what was in store for you later. You needed some time to relieve some stress, and you had a feeling that Jinyoung would help provide that for you. 

Jinyoung was at the door of your classroom right when he said he would be, and his over the top bow made you chuckle as you collected your things. You weren’t sure exactly where you were going, but you knew Jinyoung would take you somewhere nice. He did. 

When you walked into the Korean Barbeque restaurant, the smell of cooking meat filled your nose, and the sound of it sizzling on the grill had your heart beating faster. You hadn’t realized how hungry you are until you sat down and heard your stomach grumble. 

“You should really take care of that,” Jinyoung laughed, lazily perusing the menu. 

“Well then, order me some food,” you smiled, taking your hair down from the bun it was in. When you look back at Jinyoung, his eyes were darker, and if you could’ve seen his crotch, you were certain there would be a noticeable bulge. 

“Excited for the food?” you asked, quirking an eyebrow at him.

“I’m thinking about dessert,” he smirked, his tongue wetting his lips. 

This flirty banter continued all throughout dinner, your arousal growing by the time the both of you had finished your 3rd soju bottle. 

Jinyoung’s cheeks were flushed red and you couldn’t help but smile at his drunken ramblings. When he paid for the dinner and stood up, he wobbled a little bit.

“Woah, there,” you laughed, watching his ears burn red as he steadied himself. 

You walked together out of the door, his balance much better than it had been when he stood up. 

“Listen, I’m not that drunk, just feeling a little fuzzy,” he said, his already red cheeks flushing even more. 

“It’s ok Jinyoung, I’m feeling fuzzy too.”

You walked in silence for a moment, but you could feel Jinyoung’s eyes burning a hole into the side of your face. When you turned to look at him, he had a goofy grin on his face, and you couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“I like making you laugh,” he whispered, grabbing your hand and interlocking it with his own. His hands were cold, but they warmed you up from the inside out. His thumb rubbing gently over your hand as you walked. He had your heart beating out of your chest, and by the time you made it to your front door, his body was pressed flush against you. His arms wrapped around your waist, and you both waddled into your apartment, Jinyoung refusing to let you go. When his face landed in the crook of your neck, your stomach flipped. 

“Your hair smells good,” he sighed, his soft tone making you close your eyes and rest your head on his shoulder. You stood like that for a while, peaceful silence almost causing you to fall asleep. When Jinyoung started tonguing at your neck, you couldn’t help but let out a low whine. His actions sped up, and when you were desperate enough, you pulled him along behind you to your bedroom. Your lips found his, softly pressing against each other. His hands roamed your shirt, squeezing your boobs he deepened the kiss. When you pulled away, you both threw your shirts off, his hand reaching around to undo your bra. That’s when you first noticed it. 

One hand became two hands trying to remove the garment, and then with two hands came a pout. You held back a smile as you reached behind yourself and unclasped the bra in one go. His pout just deepened, and ears so red they could probably be seen from miles away. 

“Jinyoung,” you whispered, placing a chaste kiss on his lips as you pushed him gently down on the bed, “are you a virgin?”

Jinyoung’s hands found your waist, and as he pulled you onto his lap, he buried his head into your chest. You ran your fingers through his hair as he gently shook his head no. 

“I’m just inexperienced,” he whispered, his head refusing to come out from your chest. You continued to massage his head, a whine leaving his throat as you helped him relax. When he started to nuzzle into your boobs, you weren’t expecting him to lick your nipple, and then take it into his mouth to harden it. He repeated his actions on the other side, your breaths hitching every so often as he sucked and bit. When he finally looked up and met your eyes, you almost squealed at how cute he was. His nose and cheeks were flushed a deep red, and his eyes were watery.

“Oh, baby boy,” you whispered as his pout deepened a low whine leaving his lips at the nickname, “What’s wrong?”

“-m ard,” he mumbled, hiding into your chest again. You just cooed at him, running your hands through his hair again. 

“But baby, I have barely even touched you,” you said, “Do you want me to help you?”

You just tsked when Jinyoung nodded into your chest, speaking a little louder than before, “Use your words, baby boy.”

Jinyoung looked up at you, his lip trembling at your harsh tone. You caressed his cheek to soothe him, and that's when he said, “will you- will you please touch me?”

That was it, you were done for. You normally considered yourself to be a more sub leaning switch, but boy was this subby little baby making you go crazy. You pressed your lips onto him, reaching your hand down and pressing on his bulge. Jinyoung almost didn’t let go of you as you climbed off of his lap, but one glance at him had him looking down and loosening his arms from around your waist. 

When you undid the button of his pants and allowed you to pull them down his legs you praised him. His pretty cock bobbing at your words. 

“Do you like being complimented baby boy?”

Jinyoung nodded again, letting out a whimper as you slapped the inside of his thigh, “Yes, I do mommy.”

If you thought you were a goner before, you didn’t know what to think now. It was clear Jinyoung was going deeper into subspace, and holy shit you didn’t know how much you liked being called mommy. 

“You’re such a good little boy, Jinyoungie,” you smiled, pressing a kiss to the tip of his cock, “and you have such a pretty cock.”

His whines at your teasing only intensified as you complimented him, “Look how big it is, baby,” you smirked, wrapping a hand around his cock and tugging once,” but you don’t even know what to do with a cock like this, do you baby?”

“N-, no mommy,” he hiccupped as you sank your mouth all the way down his length. 

“It’s ok, love,” you smiled up at him, “Mommy will take care of you.”

His sniffles were just so cute, you couldn’t stand to tease him anymore. You slipped your skirt off, placing both of your hands on Jinyoung’s cheeks. 

“Are you sure about this?” you asked, running your thumbs gently over his cheeks as he nodded, “Words, Jinyoung.”

“Yeah, god yeah, please,” he whined, gulping as you straddled him, sinking down until you had all of his length inside of you. 

“You tell me if you wanna stop, ok baby?”

“Yes,” Jinyoung whined, letting out a broken moan as you began to ride him. His fingers gripped your hips, pretty moan after pretty moan leaving his mouth as you chased your high. You were worked up, he had worked you up. He was just so good, and once you set eyes on his cock you knew you wanted to feel him in you. Now, you could maneuver yourself so that he was hitting you in all of the right places. And your sweet little love was so so close, you could tell. His hips were almost running from you, sinking as far as he could into the bed to try to take some of the pleasure away. His moans gave him away as he clung to you. 

“Mo-mommy, need to, need to come,” he whimpered, tears pricking his eyes at your silence. You kissed his nose and picked up your pace.

“You can come, little love,” you moaned, your heat clenching around him. He muttered a string of thank-yous, as you felt his cock twitching inside of you. You just kissed him, not wanting to hear his overstimulated moans as you kept riding him. But his mouth broke away, scrunched face as he moaned. 

“M, mommy,” he whined, face still red and scrunched. You tried to calm him, slowing your hips to try to relieve some of the overstimulation, but that's when you felt it. His cock twitching in you again. You let out a groan and came with him. Your eyes rolling back into your head as you clenched around him. You relaxed around him, your hands finding his cheeks as you took a deep breath. You quickly looked up when you felt the wetness on his cheeks. 

“What’s wrong love?”

“I was bad,” he sniffed, “Youngie came without permission.”

“You weren’t bad baby,” You smiled, pressing several kisses all over his face until he laughed, “you were the best boy.”

You let him pull you down across the bed, snuggling into your side and nuzzling into your neck. You fell asleep, and so did he soon after, both of you worn out.

You and Jinyoung spent the entire weekend together, laughing, making out and growing his experience. When you arrived at school on Monday, you were glowing. Your kids begged you to tell them if you went on that date, but you refused. At least until it was time for them to start their exam. In fact, you promised to tell them what happened (minus some details of course) if, and only if, they passed their exams. 

Not a single person in your class failed.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

even more prompts catchup

April 5th: What was school like for you, or what is it currently like for you if you are still in school? Elementary, high school, post-secondary?

i Hate/d school lmfao......like i do Like To Learn and Know Shit, and of course Sometimes / on some occasions it was like, hey i'm having a good to pretty great time at school, but those were usually Special occasions or teachers going out of their way to give us you know, fun projects / go beyond the Standardized Testing curriculum, which natch they couldn't always do / did require sort of going Above & Beyond, rather than being the constant, guaranteed experience of like hooray for school......it's like, oh hooray re: the Play Scenes my fourth grade english class did that was like, an Extra thing, where we got to audition and i just had a great time like oh right, clearly Theatre in retrospect, or hooray re: the field trips, or projects we did In Class, since i hated homework.......i was always that accursed (i mean, not accursed for Me, but) combination of "really a terrible student but also gets great grades" lmao i forever do things Last Minute but like, when i was At school, in class, i'd just power through whatever work there was then & there usually, and in middle school would sometimes do hw on the bus, as i was the last on the bus route to be picked up in the morning or dropped off in the afternoon, but as soon as i got home i was in Home Mode and yknow. didn't just sit down and continue School Stuff asap. also hardly ever Studying unless it's the night / morning before a test lmfao but i had a great memory for that stuff, so studying that last minute was like "yep, i Do remember this from going over it 2 seconds ago" so yknow, despite hating school / no good Study Habits(tm) or anything, i did fine. i also read a ton, at home or at school and at any other point. so i was also like, quiet and generally ~well behaved~ or whatever lol (the like "how are kids (or anyone) supposed to stay focused and on task for 7+ hours a day..." thing), segue into next paragraph

i also remember like, 3 day a week preschool being the first time i was, you know, in some sort of School and also around other kids that much, i did have this sense that like, somehow there were Rules that i wasn't following, not re: Classroom Rules or something, but wrt socializing with peers, like that everyone else had something going on in how they interacted which i wasn't gonna get right, & i had this sense of like, not really being Allowed to interact lmao, even being 4 years old i have a few distinct memories re: this of like, a) choosing to play by myself in the classroom or when outside, and b) my "best friend" being the one person who just like, chose to hang out with me lmfao, but i was like oh cool Having A Friend lmao, like i didn't Not want to have friends, i was just already aware of like, i don't feel like i can just up and interact w/these people and i don't feel like they want me to, and c) re: that being aware of whatever Rules Of Interaction existing and that i wouldn't meet them / abide by them and thus there'd be some kind of repercussion for not meeting those rules, and not being allowed, i remember that like. there was this other indoor playspace in the lower level and there were toys i wanted to play with but Refrained from, and it was like, why did 4 yr old me get the idea i Wasn't Really Allowed, and most of what i can theorize is that it was like, well other kids might want to play with that, and the Normal / Better kids should get priority lmao, and/or being nervous that it just might otherwise lead to some sort of Interaction i wouldn't feel ready for.....and d) sitting at a table with like whatever 4 or 5 other kids or something and amongst ourselves someone was like "oh put your foot in the middle if you're [x]" and i tried to join in on a technicality lmfao and also just in, you know, active efforts to be Participating with these other kids on their terms, and it did not pay off, something that repeated uhhhhh, forever i guess lol. insert that post like can allistic people be normal for 5 seconds.....

like in elementary school i wasn't really making friends either, incredibly, i was Amicably Tolerated by many people then & like, again also at any point after at least lmao (and it helps that i was generally in teachers' good graces, not that i narced on anyone ever, but i had like, my Niche as the Academically Successful One, and also i was the kid who draws, another shoutout to some post and tweet about how being The Drawing Kid was like, some measure of respect but also disdain lmfao...) and sometimes people would again like. choose to interact with me repeatedly, and i'd sort of be nonplussed at best b/c it's like, okay thanks but in this situation i didn't Choose this any more than i choose [Trying to be in the group but being rejected/excluded], so it's kinda weird, i was friends with someone for a few years in elementary school but we just were Coincidentally in the same class for those years, when we were in different classes in 3rd or 4th grade and just weren't seeing each other it fizzled out, in middle school i made another couple friends where we were all being Funny lmao, but i didn't go to high school, so once again we weren't seeing each other, and [At School] was where i always had most Interactions with people, didn't see people much outside of school even if we were hanging out / being friends During school, for [a whole tangent] reasons, so. guess the good news is i'm still in touch / friendly acquaintances with some people from school from college, but even then, there was Some more social success or whatever, but not all That much, and i was still unhappy like, not having many friends, often being like "i'm going to the cafe a block away b/c i have no social occasions here and i want to get out of the dorm / be around people," that if i was with more than one other person i could end up the third wheel friend lmao or nobody is paying attention when you talk or oh no i put myself out there hanging with a friend group but maybe people thought you were a joke or something, thanks. smh

and that like, speaking of college, i went early but this was, for my part, truly primarily driven like "well i hate school so if i can Not go to high school, okay" and like, while i got in and everything it was still like "tf is college, i've never known what i Want To Do so i wonder if i'll figure this out, but i'm not expecting to last past the first semester / year b/c this is college and i'm a terrible student actually lol" but then turns out i kept doing well enough like A's & B's like oh woops i guess i'm still here, then, hope i can figure out what tf "credit hours" means (finally did lol).....then sophomore year was a bunch of just Agonizing over "what tf do i major in," something i never figured out, wherein i might bring something up & it got parentally shot down like "never heard you talk about that" like what tf Did you hear me talk about? are you thinking i had my life figured out by age 9, b/c i didn't think that, i'm only 15/16 even Now, even being the Regular college age it's like, nobody's figuring their life out then. also i didn't tell my parents things, so. and then i settle on something that sure, Might've been of interest, but also it was like, a) a program that barely existed and req'd taking classes at a like 30 min away campus and also the head of department had Just retired and the most heinous teacher in the related fields was now in charge, brilliant and b) the sort of thing you'd just wanna start taking prerequisites for like as soon as you set foot on campus, like, great. and c) i was like, hardly feeling all the Academic Ambition anyway b/c i never had, b/c i hate/d school, and b/c i still didn't Know what i wanted to major in, and i was stressed n depressed and also realizing oh right, i'm not cishet, and oh right, i'm never going to get along with my family b/c [long tangent] reasons and that's kind of concerning, here i am impending Being 18 and like, how do i get out of this b/c it's becoming clearer that i'm not just gonna start getting along with the 'rents now that i'm not an elementary schooler and also now that i'm realizing the Reasons being at home sucks. guess i learned stuff in college lol but also it was like, the experience of getting to be Away From Home and existing every day without parents literally / figuratively over my shoulder at some point every day, and getting to do shit on my own and figure things out while Not At Home.....i also had a lot of fun taking a couple classes from this one music prof lol. he was this weird really enthusiastic and really knowledgeable guy lmao like great, these evening classes where we go over to the arts building and he plays things on the piano off the cuff and tells a lot of tangential stories while we're learning about like, beethoven technically, or folk music. didn't need those classes but they were great, i've had these teachers who were totally into whatever they were teaching and had a great time with that

also acknowledgment to the fact i was a No Extracurriculars person all through school, k thru 6 and college alike really, although i took dance class for that k thru 6 period, just that was separate from school actually (and another fun "being away from home" thing and Theatresque performance thing i enjoyed) but besides that it was like, how do i figure out what i want to do without committing to joining this whole thing, i don't know How to sign up for stuff really either, and it'd probably entail "asking for stuff" and needing to coordinate more rides and etc and that's just a hassle, and i wanna go home from school asap anyways, and then like, when it came to college, i was again at first thinking like "well idk what i'm doing and i hate homework so i'll probably mess it up in this first year anyways" and figured that doing anything Extra outside classes was just gonna be too much, and also, it's like, i've never been in these kinds of groups before and why am i gonna start in college, where there'll probably be all these people who Have done this stuff before, and are also 18? e.g. even though it was like "hey you're away from home and don't have to ask/tell anyone else anything to do this club stuff or whatever!" supposed ideal environment for trying stuff out, it was like, maybe i'm theoretically interested in auditioning for the fall theatre production, but the last acting experience i had was like, "2 month drama class in middle school" or "that 4th grade [section of a] play" so like, not really Any education or experience or Training re: any of that stuff, and a bunch of 18 yr olds who might've, or [age peers] who were theatre people who had already done stuff so they weren't getting Lead Roles or anything but they were getting cast / taking classes / joining an a capella group while i'm like right on, i'm over here with some sort of Grade Honor Society (??) saying my gpa qualifies me to join and be able to experience some further academic rigor/requirements lmfao and i'm like absolutely not. get away lol. anyways so bit of a chaotique Post K12 Zone Education Experience there lmfao, all kinds of things i'd Like to Learn and even take classes on, but didn't like, right i love learning languages but never took classes, love math and shit but only got to a certain level of calc and even then seemed to miss some Lore, never did anything re: theatre, etc and so on. so you wonder if some advantages re: high school would be like, more chances for those extracurriculars (or regular curriculars) but, as though i wouldn't have the same qualms about getting in on any of it, and as if i wouldn't've still hated school but also still been at home, F. and i think people can be a lot more normal to each other when it's college and you're Not stuck in one building together 8 hours a day lmao, got some gentle "occasional Bullying style attention" in middle school, but had juuust enough like, [that Niche of good grades / kid who draws] and people who Were friendlier to me that it was you know, unpleasant, but didn't have to be that huge a deal, and then i was outta there soon enough. also, in college many people are 18 or older, as opposed to 11 to 13. anyways the rest of my school story was that in the end the problems were "i don't know what i want to major in and also now's a worse time than ever b/c i've realized my existence At Home is untenable, and naturally i am quite depressed & stressed about things, and i gotta say absolutely virtually every adult presence was either totally unhelpful to Counterproductive here lmao, like, not much anyone could do really but it's helpful when someone is like, i'll treat you like a person vs simply just going 'uh why are you not doing the academic stuff good enough'" lmfao like. the whole time Not having friends i'd wanna talk to through class and happening to get good grades in part b/c i somehow Could as easily as i did and also i was afraid of getting C's or worse b/c "tfw i wasn't even yet in a grade that gave you A thru F grades yet but my older sister caught shit for getting a C

like :/" and etc means adults are like My Student Is Fine, and also, what are you gonna do even if they aren't, i guess. i just had to figure out completely for myself Why and How i really wasn't Fine and that was quite difficult and also took a long time. then there was a mutual prank of "i drop out of college at the tail end of things" and "now i have to be at home with parent/s more resentful of your obvious Waywardness (insert: not being cishet, and the fact it occurs to me that my being autistic was always causing 'problem' behavior i was getting shit for like, the whole time lmfao, even if nobody knew / labeled it like oh this is for ND reasons, or if it was both true i tried to come out (smh, thought i Had to b/c that was part of Not Being Cishet) and it was simply ignored / unaddressed and yet it sure fueled further specific resentment of my not Performing Gender properly, or "worse," so that went well, in that i eventually abruptly left and did not maintain contact, in the interest of "the levels to which i was thriving was like, that if i bailed and like died 50 hrs later it'd still be what i want to do," true to that i did not / don't regret it. and what do you know, i was first able to bail to a relatively nearby friend from college's home, whose family also liked me lmao. shoutout to school still being where i made Any friends, except a friend i made who was a coworker of several years. and Online Friends, which, another school connection, that like, i can more readily Connect w/people via talking about interests, something that happened Sometimes at school in person lmao but not much, but also that i Talk About Interests in a way through Drawing, which, well shoutout to doodling in the margins of papers throughout school lmfao, it didn't hurt! that's my saga.

oh and that footnote, i also really enjoyed the "in middle school you either take language classes or 4 Electives you rotate through each year" and those electives sure featured some more varied and hands on activities i had a great time with. shoutout to like, cooking, and to shop class, my Car Designs were great apparently, idk how. shoutout to my Intuition re: engineering or something lmaoo.....very fun to just end the schoolday in that big garage space where you could actually open that garage door right to where all the buses were, beautiful. Oh, and that's another footnote, when my last class of the day in 8th grade was english, i'd sometimes finish work early and my teacher would let me go to our spacious library, with the v nice librarian who'd recommend books to me she thought should be checked out more often b/c she knew i liked to read that much, and also just generally had teachers / other adult staff kinda wandering in at the end of the day, talk about "i don't really relate to other ppl my age" where i did generally prefer to be around adults, so that was fun. oh and also shoutout to hating school lmao wherein during like, middle school when the schoolday started at like 7:30am or smthing disgusting and i just learned to like, view whatever time it was in a "at least it's almost [x]" like well okay, first period is math and that kinda sucks but at least once it's over this hardest part of the day will be over, then next class is kinda more chill at least, and then it'll be the last period before lunch, etc etc etc where i could sort of keep up that stamina like telling myself at any point it was Almost [a more encouraging time of day] lmao like. kinda fucked up to have to be dragging yourself through the weekdays like that, but

Oh! goddamn and i didn't even get into that if i ever got in ~trouble~ in elementary school it was stuff like Not Paying Attention, but where half the time that might be some other kid beside me messing around lmfao and i'm not gonna be like "uhhh follow the rules!!!" (and that even when i was In Trouble like go sit in the chair where you have to be quiet there for like 10 min i might say something to some other kid in that zone and they'd be like "um it's the quiet chair you have to be quiet!!" or "uh we're getting into the next lesson and you have to put that book back asap" like wow these other kids are dweebs about Rules lmfao) and there'd just be times like, it's 1st grade and i know how to read pretty well already but we're going over the alphabet like stoppp i know the Phonics already........or the ways ND people can kind of Intuit some stuff more successfully, like in third grade learning multiplication i neverrrrr studied but just broke it down like, okay i remember the Fives b/c of telling time, i know the 2x table and stuff, i know the commutative property, if we're all the way at the 8x and i haven't Memorized stuff, i can still like, break it down to say, [5 x 8] + [8 x 2] or something when i see 8 x 7, even if it takes a second lmfao.......and stuff like the tragedy of when i Did make a friend in like, 2nd grade, who i think we didn't even talk to each other ever?? i was playing legos or smthing by myself once during Indoor Recess and she just started playing agreeably along with me, aka someone socializing on My Terms apparently as our Introduction, and we just were friends past that but one time, not even during a Lesson Session, we were messing around quietly making each other laugh as the incredibly important process of "put papers in your folders" was going on, and since we were Not Paying Attention for some reason the teacher made a whole example of it where i had to carry my desk across the classroom for the Shaming Element of it and also so that i had to permanently sit way further from that friend, so that was kind of discouragement re: interacting at all. thank you to that teacher, who'd later once Gesticulate to me from across the gym that i should put my arms down at my sides rather than being crossed (we were rehearsing some class performance) & i had no idea what she was trying to convey, so afterwards she told me i had to have Reduced Recess Time or some shit because of Ignoring her instead of putting my arms down lmfao. and i was irritated at having been misinterpreted / my Intentions dictated to me and punished like that, but i was also used to it from adults lmfao and did not bother explaining myself lol like yeah god forbid i left my arms crossed on purpose and now i have to read some more during recess. tl;dr school has so much nonsense & i def had some Times re: being autistic & also just being someone who hated school forever lmao, think it was Also 2nd grade where one arbitrary sunday night i just cried out of frustration at having to go back for another normal school week. classic. oh and that also, while i wasn't like "oooo booksmart people who hate not having a Definitive Correct Answer to things &/or ohhh autistic ppl So Good at math, in a way everyone hates and disrespects, but they suck at Literature/Arts which requires you to reflect on humanity and shit," like, not only was i the drawing kid but i was also apparently ahead of the curve as it were at like, Literary Analysis lmfao where there was a few times in elementary school i'd be the kid providing the Interpretation like "what's this poem about / what's the theme or Symbolism in this story," but from elementary school to college it's like, for god's sake don't ask me to come up with a story / work with some really open ended prompt, i don't Invent in that way, and when i try to draw on Inspiration i'll get stuck on some specific source and be unable to do anything but just rip it off really lmao. but then again i was prolific in "it's 1st grade and you write and illustrate a little short story or smthing in these booklets

that we then have a simple little binding process for" like ohhh fancy, i got a tootsie roll lollipop at Awards Time for writing a shit ton of those lol. but that's like, when you're too young to have that much of a Creative Process anyways lmao. but then, my older sister, whose Thing was writing, has an incredible 2 Volume like, noir mystery saga from those elementary school times, it's a classic lmao. anyways once again so much to say about School lol closing the door after meandering on that one for this long lol

April 6th: Are you able to drive? If so, was it difficult to learn? What was difficult about it? If not, do you use any alternatives?

i did learn to drive, tbh just universally it's like, at any point you're driving there's A Lot to pay attention to at once, even if you think you're Good At That or whatever, which i sure don't think i always am lol, and it's pretty wild we just, you know, let everyone go around as fast as they want in machines that can kill you or someone else, and this is also Unnecessary b/c like, let's have accessible & reliable public transit so that everyone can travel without Needing to have a car / someone else who will drive them. i didn't think i had too much trouble learning to drive, but it had to help that i just took it very seriously from the start lmao like, well, i'm quite aware i could kill someone with this. the driving classes i took were alright, i remember the instructor being pretty chill and friendly lol. rip to the fact i could be tense when driving with parent/s, when driving a manual i'd always like screech the tires when accelerating out of a Stop, until all at once it was like "and i'm driving that manual car alone on a road trip & wouldn't you know it, only literally once did i have that issue of not getting out of a stop smoothly enough" lmao like the Anxiety......really like yeah i had an alright time learning and think i'm solid enough at driving / like doing it, theoretically, but Driving Is Wild just in general and let's have that public transit

April 7th: How are you with sarcasm and/or metaphors/figures of speech? Do you interpret things very literally?

i think i Usually get what people mean with these Devices but i can't really say lol, but anytime you know, someone is being more Implicit in what they say, plenty of times i can infer one implication and only later realize they probably meant a different one, or yknow, i make whatever initial inference i make and can be stuck like "???" and have to like, mentally run diagrams about the interaction lol......meanwhile i'm not always remembering that like, if i'm shifting context mentally that's necessarily able to be inferred by whoever i'm talking to lol, whether it's about getting into some adjacent topic or like, i don't think it tends to be very clear even in person when i've started being sarcastic lmao, like i know that can be true for anyone but it's like well, guess i gotta make it clearer i'm doing a bit......flipside of that or something lmao that people are more Obvious than they think they are sometimes about like, idk, when someone is sort of making some sarcastic remark to you but the sarcasm is also sort of only to themself, aka just like okay i know you mean this more dismissively / disparagingly than re: what you're saying just at face value lol like. just always fun >:/

[r00en]

Still Good Chapter 3.

Listen! I have no excuse other than I wanna give All Might a damn heart attack.

Toshi seeks advice from his new student on matters of the heart and fumbles his way into you’re apartment for some romcom shenanigan. 

All Might/Reader (oc)

It had been weeks since Toshi's first meeting with that bright young nurse new to UA. If he was being honest he would have liked to spend far more time with her than his current scheduled allowed. Unforgettably between training young Midoriya, his hero work and even the winding down of his involvement with his agency he was far busier than he had been in years. Leaning back against the creaking old beach chair Toshi allowed his mind to wander. Those soft hands, that kind smile, that rushing feel of cool warmth running through his body and numbing that dull ache in his side. All he really wanted to do was sit back and let her take care of him again, after all she did offer her wonderful services. He wondered what else she could do with those hands...

The thought made him sit up suddenly coughing almost violently into his hand. Coating his palm in a thin gloss of blood that he quickly wiped onto his sandy pants. "What a horrible thing to think about a fellow colleague.." he grumbled, watching Midoriya try and hall a rather large dresser from the edge of the beach to the truck. Thoughts like that kept popping in at the worst possible moments and here was no exception. He should be focused on his new student! The entrance exam was fast approaching and here he was having creepy day dreams in the middle of exercises. "A TEXT IS HERE! A TEXT IS HERE!" As if on que and to stroke his embarrassment farther his phone buzzed in his back pocket and of course he scrambled for it as quickly as his lanky fingers would allow.

"Hey hot shot! The entrance exam is coming up! Got any good lesson plans yet or do you just plan to pose at them till they learn something?"

They had been texting like this for a while now. She would tease him or show him something she was working on for the nurses station. New sheets for the cots or a new filing system so Recovery Girl didn't need to do so much paperwork. Always excited about something or asking him to check her work which he was happy to do. But he missed her. That was normal right? They were friends and missing a friend was a rational and natural thing to feel. He kept telling himself that and so far it was working at keeping that feeling of being an old creep away. His eyes moved back to the boy trying to tug a heavy wet trash bag through the deep sand. "H-hey Young Midoriya!" The pop and smoke giving way to his hero form to quicken the walk to the poor tired boy.

"All Might? What's up did you need something?" The bag hit the ground with a gross moist 'shluk' as he wiped his brow of the dripping sweat. Toshi had to admit the boy had come a long way in this sort amount of time. Pushing himself far beyond what he had intended in his work our routine was paying off he had to admit. But he was also young. Had his ear to the ground so to speak on social matters. If he could just be descreet and sneaky maybe he could gain some much needed insight on his new found 'friendship'. 

Coming to a stop and taking a quick look at his impressive work so far All Might tried his best to play it cool and casual. "Something like that, you see I have a question for you if I might." His voice boomed over the crashing waves in the background so he bent low, trying to hush himself as if what he was asking were a secret of some kind. "Hypothetically say you wanted to speak to someone, though a text message but you didn't want to annoy that person or come across as clingy and desperate....how quickly should one respond to a message. Hypothetically of course! I just don't want her to get the wrong impression you see!" 

Izuku stood wide eyed for a second before he tapped his chin with his finger. "A girl? Oh like a girlfriend? You have a girlfriend All Might?" 

As if he was suddenly struck by lighting Toshi jumped back, covering his face with his large muscled hand. "Of course not! It's not like that at all! She's a friend from work that's all! A simple acquaintance! A colleague! Business!" He had hoped the dark light of dusk would hide the bright bloom of red that now heated his face and ears. "That's the thing I don't want to come off looking wrong you see? How would you respond professionally?" 

"You're asking me?" Izuku questioned, head tilted as if he was fully lost at this point. "Well I don't have experience with girls, or business for that matter. Gee I don't really know. How did you act when you are at work with her? Wouldn't it be best to act natural and like yourself? She may think it's strange if you force anything." Such wise words from such a young heart. It almost brought a tear to his eye. Toshi thought a moment "Casual...we only spoke briefly the first time we met and after that it was in fact rather casual as you said." Truth be told they had been texting near constantly over these past few weeks but it had been so organic that up until now he never needed to second guess himself. The nerves of his earlier vision must have flustered him enough to over think things. "What did she ask All Might? If it's alright for me to know..." 

"Huh? Oh yes, the lesson plan for the first semester." 

"So she's a teacher?" 

"The new nurse, attending with Recovery Girl. But she's a brilliant support hero who apparently did front line work back in the states. Paladin I think her hero name was?" 

"THE PALADIN?" Izuku was suddenly frantic, waving his arms and muttering in that high speed rant he so often slipped into. 

"I take it you know her then? Even if she's outside of Japan? You sure know you're stuff kid-" 

"KNOW HER?! She's only one of the coolest support hero's ever! Her healing quirk allows her to heal so rapidly that even the strongest attacks hardly have any effect on her! She wears villains out by letting them beat on her until they are so exhausted she doesn't even need to fight! Plus she can amplify other hero's strengths and help them boost their quirks making them unstoppable! She even had her arms ripped off once and they just grew right back it was insane! Her quirk is said to be one of the most versatile out there right now, though she has very little offensive ability she's still able to fight the toughest bad guys head on, I can't believe she's gonna be at UA this year! Did she get a transfer or something, last I heard she was working in the states so what brought her all the way to Japan I wonder." 

"You're creepin' me out kid!" A swift chop to the head silenced the boy quickly and between his shy apologies and attemps to explain himself Toshi couldn't help but swallow the lump that formed in his throat. Her arms got ripped off?! That tiny, sweet little thing was hurt so badly who knew how many times. Could something like that really be brushed off so easily? Images flashed through his mind of the worst possible scenarios and he had to shake himself to get rid of them. "She does sure sound powerful...but with wounds like that it's no wonder she might want to take it easy and become a school nurse." That must have been it. While helping her grandmother surely was a major factor Toshi couldn't shake the feeling that it was something more. A fresh up and coming super star hero like her just deciding to stop. If her quirk really did heal her the way everyone thought it must have been something else that pushed her away from hero work. What that might be left him feeling sick to- where his stomach should have been. 

Midoriya stayed quiet for once, watching the different expressions run over All Might's face. Even in his hero form he was getting easier to read. "I might not know much about girls or business relationships but it sounds like she wants to talk to you...you should respond. Don't worry about looking strange, just be yourself!" All Might watched in awe as his young protege grinned up at him with confidence. He had a good heart in him, though Toshi was sure this sort of advice would be ignored by the kid himself when it came time for his first crush he was thankful for such honesty. And it was damn good advice. He had been getting by so far on his own just fine, better than fine even. They talked every day like it was second nature. Always showing each other new things or chatting about little annoyances of the day. It had been a long time since he had ever had someone to really talk to about nothing and everything all at once. It made his days a little easier to cope with even with all the massive changes in impending feeling of defeat he had to beat off every night. "Thanks kid." Toshi grinned, smoking rising from his shoulders before the inevitable poof that reverted him back to his weaker form. "Ya' know you're pretty smart, didn't peg you at the romantic type." 

The poor green haired student turned into a blushing mess, tapping his fingers together and wiggling on the spot. "Ah g-geez it's not like I know anything about romance it just seemed like the right thing to say, but wait I thought you said it was just a work thing...does that mean it is romantic All Might?" A stream of blood sprayed from between his tightly clenched teeth. "Young Midoriya this beach isn't going to clean itself! Break times over my boy get back to work! I wanna see at least 1/3rd of this beach cleared out by the end of our session tonight! LET'S GO!" Too caught up in the sudden demanding boom from his idol Izuku quickly started jogging back to his junk pile. "Right Away Sir!" 

Romantic. It wasn't anything like that. Sure she made his heart thud right out of his chest when ever she so much as looked in his direction, and he was sure he could literally hear the blood rushing through his veins when ever she sent a picture of her doing even the most mundane tasks but there was nothing romantic about their interactions. She was a good friend. Toshi hissed softly and covered his scar, the pain was back. Not horrible but he couldn't keep going like this. He had been ignoring it more than usual these past few weeks, telling himself his pain medication would do just fine and there was no need to bother the nurse with such a trivial matter. She wouldn't see it that way though. No, he would surely be scolded for not coming right to her when it flared up again. But he couldn't find himself too upset about that now. Maybe just one visit would be fine. They could catch up and talk and maybe that would even out his nerve a bit. Yeah. It was a professional visit. 

 "This isn't weird at all." Toshi told himself as he stood in front of her apartment building. "Just taking her up on her offer, that's not strange right?" His knees were shaking. Why were his knees shaking? This was stupid. Regardless of how much he wanted to turn and bolt down the street his feet pushing him forward to the stairs. "I think she said she was on the third floor? Or was it forth....damn we didn't talk about this much maybe I saved it somewhere..." Flipping his phone open he scrolled through the many texts from the last few weeks, stopping at a few goofy pictures of her holding his merch looking utterly shocked at the abundance of his face literally everywhere. "All Might underwear! No way I have to buy some even if I just frame them! This is so weird! Japan really goes all out for this sort of thing huh? We never do this in the states, only kids lunch boxes and t-shirts mostly. Maybe a poster. Aww look at this little key chain! Did you pose for all these? This one dosn't even have your face!?" Toshi had long since grown used to seeing himself everywhere. Before his injury it was in fact a pretty decent point of pride for him. Now it was almost a dark reminder of the past, a past he was slowly being dragged away from day by day. A time he would never get back. But seeing her look so utterly smitten with an All Might plushy wasn't the worst thing in the world. At last he found a saved message with her address "...I was really off it's-" "Five, you're almost there big guy." 

Her voice had him jumping out of his skin, clutching his heart and gulping in deep breaths of air as he stumbled back and gripped the stone half wall behind him. "Geez you nearly gave me a heart attack! What are you doing out here?!" Trying to calm his thundering heart he watched as she threw her head back and laughed in that joyful tone he missed so much. Spinning on her heels to give them a bit of distance from her sneak attack. 

"That's my line! You're the one outside my apartment building in the middle of the night. I thought you were still in Tokyo what gives? I only caught you cause you're so tall and that wild hair of yours." She grinned up at him, settling her laugh and readjusting her hold on what looked like a few shopping bags. 

Toshi pulled himself together and stood as straight as his slumping shoulders would allow. "Sorry, I know this is out of the blue...I don't have a great excuse for it....I was just in the area and thought I would check up and see how you're doing." His hand instinctively moved to his left side and she took notice right away. "You should have come sooner you know....I was worried with how busy you seem to be that you hadn't stopped by to see me OR grandma in these past few weeks....is your medication doing enough?" 

He didn't really want to respond to that. He could lie and tell her it was working great...it wasn't. It dulled the pain at best and allowed him to suffer through his worst days but only just. He could be honest and tell her he's been craving her help, and the feel of being able to breath again but that seemed too desperate. "It's.....fine." He settled, letting his hand fall to his side. "Look I don't really want to trouble you, it was rude for me to just stop by like this unannounced. I-" Her tiny hand silenced him quickly as she shoved a finger so close to his lips his warm breath bounced back in his face. 

"Nu-uh! I told you to stop by if you're in pain! I was the one that offered in the first place. Besides it's not like I have anything else going on. It's no trouble at all. Plus..." she held up the shopping bags and gave them a little jingle "I got some of that soup you mentioned." God she was wonderful and Toshi found himself lowering his shoulders and following her lead up the next flight of steps. The promise of some nice warm food, relief from this weeks long pain and her company enough to shut up his nerves for now. 

As she opened the door to her apartment Toshi noticed she almost forgot to remove her own shoes at the entryway. Stumbling back to kick them off haphazardly before moving into the small kitchen. He hadn't been in an apartment like this in years. Since his time at UA as a kid maybe. He had run off to the states so quickly after the fact that he never really had a chance to live in one during his start as an out of school hero. Still he stood there next to her shoes, if this was a short visit he wouldn't need to come all the way in. Putting a bit of formality in the situation might ease his tension a bit. She noticed and peaked around the door way, waving him in. "Come on come on. Don't loom in the door like a vampire. Make yourself at home! Oh shoot!" She stumbled out and headed to the small living and bedroom area. Her futon was still rolled out with it's blankets thrown across the floor. The kotatsu at least was put up somewhat properly with the blanket folded carefully to the side. "I always forget these shorts of things...lets see...you roll this part first...or does the pillow go in like a sleeping bag....no that's too bulky...." Toshi watched her struggle for a moment. 

'Her tongue hangs out between her lips when she concentrates....'  He felt his cheeks flush for a moment before he kicked off his own shoes, moving them off to the side and attempting to give her a hand. 

Once the kotatsu was set in place and the blanket smoothed out she clapped her hands together and let out a long breath, as if they had just finished moving in a whole apartments worth of furniture. "Whew, we never had to do this sort of thing back in the states. No matter how small your apartment was everything always stayed out. Sometimes the couches would lay flat like a bed but otherwise....this is much nicer to look at though. A single room can change so much so quickly! Plus much less to clean." As she set about putting the pillows down and placing a few things on the table for them to eat with Toshi made himself busy looking at the odds and ends in the apartment. It was older, much older than it looked from the outside. The floors were even a more traditional mat style over the hard wood in newer buildings that he was used to. The give felt good on his joints and would be far more comfortable for his boney body to sit on. That goodness for small favors...the rest of the apartment was rather spare however. Nothing stood out as being very decorated. A small book shelf held what looked like basic medical volumes as well as Japanese law and etiquette lessons. She was trying her best, it was so cute. Everything looked clean at least. Tidy and well kept. He watched as she moved into the small kitchen taking note that it just seemed to be the genkan, hall, kitchen, main room and bathroom. Toshi worried if he changed form in here if he would even fit. 

Her voice threw him from his thoughts and he swiftly moved to the kitchen to join her. "S-sorry?" 

"You don't like it spicy right? I would assume too many spices might upset your stomach." A poor choice of words on her part but he just chuckled and gave a nod. "Y-yeah, if it's not too much trouble. Plain is fine. I'm used to it that way now so it's no trouble." 

Making himself busy he washed his hands and pulled some of the vegetables from the bag. Her small cheery smile giving him the go ahead to help, not that she would have been able to stop him regardless. She was going through all this trouble to suddenly have him as a dinner guest the least he could do was chop a carrot or two. This was nice. Quiet. Neither feeling the need to talk and Toshi found himself watching her bounce to the time of his knife strokes next to him as she stirred the broth and made sure to check the rice. Was this what couples did? It didn't feel very friendly....it felt more...domestic. Like a long married couple just going through the motions content to be near each other. It warmed his cheeks and she slipped past him to grab something from the fridge flashing him a smile as she moved back. 

Did she always look so beautiful in her nurses uniform? It had it's own charm sure but the cute checkered apron she wore now in her house slippers and smaller glasses, hair tied up in a big bun and a smile on her face that looked so relaxed and at ease. He felt a flutter push up his chest and into his throat which triggered a mild coughing fit. One he was quick to turn away from the food and aim through the door. 

"Oh Toshi here....is it the steam? This room isn't very well ventilated I'm sorry." She was already on him, rubbing his back and smoothing his hair down softly with those little hands of hers. Fussing over him and feeling the rattle in his chest with a worried look. He gave her a wave and accepted the small handful of napkins she offered him for the flecks of blood that painted his hand. "N-no no you're fine. It happens. Sorry...I don't mean to put you off the food." Her only response was a little shake of her head. "No way, I've seen far worse than a little cough like that. You should see my trying to chop onions. My nose runs for two days and there's nothing I can do to stop it!" She made a face that made him laugh as the both turned back into the kitchen. Looking to his left he noticed the small control panel next to the stove. "Oh! No wonder. Here..." Reaching over her shoulder he pushed a few buttons and the over head fan popped to life sucking out the moist air so they could both breath easy. "It controls the bathroom too, see here this one will heat your bath water or heat the whole bathroom, this one is for the heated rack to dry your cloths....most of this looks like it's for the air. Didn't they teach you to use this when you moved in?" 

She looked about ready to kick herself. "N-no way! This whole time I've been here and I thought it was just an old building it had all this?! Agh stupid! I should have asked grandma when she came to visit!" Toshi smiled down at her as she pressed forward to look at the small panel. This angle made their height difference glaringly obvious and he found himself red faces and stuck to the spot. So tiny, so warm. He could just wrap his arms around her with ease from here. Scoop her up and press his lips to her forehead...maybe plop her down on the kitchen table so she was level with his mouth and- 

"T-t-the broth!" He yelped, pointing to the bubbling pot on the stove that threatened to boil over. Saved. She rushed over to turn the heat down and Toshi secretly wished he had a dial for his racing heart rate. That was close. Where the hell did that come from?! Swallowing hard Toshi looked back to his half chopped carrot and tried to pull himself together. 

CREEPY! That was creepy! Who the hell thinks of their coworker like that!? Was that normal? 'Pull it together you idiot! Don't ruin this!'  "Toshi" 'She's being so nice to us, don't ruin it by being a perverted old man!'  "Hey Toshi" 'Oh man she was so close I could smell the soap on her....smells kinda nice....vanilla? No! Stop it you're only making things worse! You're here to have her patch you up and go home to an empty sad apartment!' "....hey you alright?" 'Shoot how long has it been? What am I doing?! What is she doing she's so close again! Damn it say something!' "ALL MIGHT!" 

Suddenly the whole kitchen erupted in a thick cloud of smoke and there stood All Might in all his All Might glory...just ducked down a bit to fit the tiny space he was trapped in. The poor nurse was suddenly thrown back, hitting the ground with a dull thud. "Ow...geeze if you're gonna do that warn me next time would ya'?!" 

The massive mountain of a man blinked, still stuck in place with his hand gripping the ceiling to keep himself upright. "Ah....Oh no! H-here let me help you!" Trying to shuffle around the tiny kitchen All Might bent lower to scoop her up in his bulky arms and wiggle his way out into the hall where he let her stand by the door. "S-sorry about that...I-" He turned back and at an odd crouching kind of walk moved to take the pot off the burner and click the rice cooker to drain. Lucky nothing was ruined in his little outburst. He had no idea what just happened. One second he was having a mild inner panic attack and self loathing episode, the next she wwas calling out for All Might and it felt like a reflex to just...'poof'. Once he was sure everything was in order and alright he slowly deflated back into his skin self triggering another mild coughing fit that she once again moved to fuss over. 

"Always the Hero. It's my fault for yelling like that really but you wouldn't answer." She was carefully blotting at a bit of blood that trickled from the corner of his mouth and as horrible as he felt right now, as much as it should have been HIM fussing over her...he let it happen. Happily basking in the glow of her mild affection. "What happened anyway? What were you thinking about." It was all he could do not to start sputtering blood again so he covered his mouth with his hand and waved her away. "N-nothing! It was nothing...nothing...just got lost there for a second. No need to worry yourself." 

The look she gave him was far from convincing, even less so when he let out a slight hiss of pain and clenched his left side. "Here...lean back." Toshi wouldn't argue with her. Not after what just happened, he had no right so he just braced himself on the counter and let out a sigh. "I should have come sooner, I know that. I figured you would scold me for letting it get this bad." He tried to joke, ease a bit of the tension only he seemed to feel. How did she do that? Act so at ease, so relaxed around him? Not that he expected her to be some weird fan girl. He preferred her like this so he wouldn't complain but most people looked at him with such sad and pathetic looks. Like they were morning his death while he was still alive. Those who knew anyway. And those who didn't just glanced over him like another weirdo in the streets. "I should say I'm sorry..." he muttered keeping his eyes on the chopped carrots and she lifted his shirt carefully. But he didn't feel her fingers this time, in fact he only felt the warm heated air of the kitchen for a few seconds before her shuffling as she moved to her knees. 

Oh god damn it this was not an image he could handle! "Woh woh woh h-hey what are you doing?!" His hands flailed wildly and stopped to clamp down on her shoulders. "Relax, while I can use my hands it does work better if I do it like grandma." she said that with such calm. Like she wasn't on her knees in front of him in the middle of her kitchen. He felt all the blood rush to his face which he was sure was hot enough to boil the soup all over again, and the rush somewhere else entirely. "Y-your hands are more than fine! You really don't have to do this!" He wanted to add a 'please' to the end of that. He wasn't sure HE could take it but no amount of begging seemed to deter her as she closed her eyes and pressed forward. The feel of her soft warm lips on his scar sent a shock though his spine and right down to his toes. Recovery girl never felt like this before. This was a whole new level of contact that had Toshi gripping the counter with such force he was afraid he was going to snap the marble clean in half. 

"S-shit..." he rumbled into his hand that clamped hard over his mouth. He could take his eyes away from her no matter how desperately he wanted to look elsewhere. Beautiful. This was beautiful and perverted and horrible and so right. A heat pooled in his stomach, fighting against that wave of cool relief that came with her healing. His lower stomach twisting itself in knots as he felt that long forgotten stir in his groin and he panicked. Placing both hands firmly on her little shoulders he shoved her back breaking the contact as quickly as he safely could. "I'm....sorry..." He huffed out, breath coming in deep drawn out gasps. "It's not you I-I just can't...." She started up at him through foggy glasses, her own cheeks painted a sweet pink that made her eyes shine and pop with color. Was this doing something for her to? She wasn't lying. His side felt a million times better and he could breath well enough even if that was now hindered by he desperate need for fresh air and a cold shower. She smiled at him then, thankfully rising to her feet and smoothing his shirt back down for him. "I get it. Don't worry." Was all she needed to say. "But...it feels better right?" God yes. Everything felt so good right now. His side, his lung(s), his missing stomach though it was doing cartwheels at the moment. Everything felt perfect and Toshi found himself staring at her lips as if he were ready to dive right in and kiss the air right out of her too. Even the playing field. 

He couldn't. "Y-yeah. Much." he sighed out, thankful that she looked so relieved. 

"Good! For quick emergency cases my quirk really does work better though direct contact like that. The skin around your lips is thinner than your finger tips and grandma thinks that has something to do with it. Luckily I don't need to use that one very often." They both laughed and Toshi swallowed the mild bubble of jealousy that stuck in his throat, though now he could count himself among those few who held such a privilege. "How about we eat?! I'm starving!" She turned back to grab the pot and bring it to the table, Toshi followed suit, grabbing what he could to lend a hand. 

Once everything was all set and ready she tossed him the remote to the TV and headed to the bathroom. "Pick what you want big guy, I'll be back in a second." He watched her skip off and thanked what ever god was watching that he always wore such thick cargo shorts. 

[marvxlousqueen]

Warren Worthington- Impress You

word count: almost 2k? I think idk

warnings: total fluff, some curse words, awkward warren, a lowkey shitty ending bc I didn't know how to end it and I got wifi for a sec so I rushed it a lil:/

so a while ago i read a warren fic where his wings would puff up around the reader bc his bird instinct was trying to impress her and i really loved it but i can’t find it so i’m writing this one :)) + this is post apocalypse where warren is a student but doesn’t have his metal wings or face tattoos so just bear with me here boys-- also the reader has a healing mutation :))

Warren had decided to skip third period, too embarrassed to face (Y/n) again that day. He had first seen her on his way to the cafeteria to pick up breakfast. She had a tray in her hands, full of different breakfast food, and she had come up to talk to Warren (as friends do). “Hey Warren! Want half of this croissant? I’m not that hungry.” Once her voice met his ears, his wings decided to stretch out and puff up, successfully knocking her tray out of her hands, spilling her tea and making her croissant hit the floor. Warren had only been able to stumble an apology before rushing out of the cafeteria, instead heading to first period where he could hopefully hide his embarrassment. 

Lately his wings had decided that they had a mind of their own. Whenever (Y/n) was present they would expand to their full length (almost 10 fucking feet) and often ended up hitting people. (Y/n) was in his third period and he just couldn’t handle making a fool of himself in front of her twice in one morning. Warren was already 90% sure that (Y/n) didn’t like him and he really didn’t want to give her another reason to not like him (he was pretty sure that getting hit by his wings would do the trick). 

After being dismissed from second period, Warren quickly moved down the hallway, heading towards the boys dorm hallway. He had his head down, making sure no one would recognize that he was heading to his room instead of third period. As he turned a corner, about to cross into the boy’s dorm hallway, he felt his body collide with another. “Ouch- oh! Hey Warren, you kinda sped off fast during breakfast. I was looking for you actually- wanted to give you this.” (Y/n) moved closer to him, offering him half a croissant like she had tried to do earlier. 

“O-oh hi-sorry, (y/n)-” As soon as her name left his mouth his wings were back at it. They stretched out and all his feathers puffed up like they were trying to make themselves bigger. He, thankfully, didn’t hit her this time, but did manage to smack Peter right in the face as he was running by. “Jesus, Big Bird, watch it!” He then sped back off, not making a big deal out of it, but Warren still turned red. 

“Are you okay? Seems like you’re having muscle spasms or something.. I could take a look. I’m finally starting to get my healing stuff under control so maybe I could help.” Of course she wants to help (she’s so nice to me, why is she so nice to me?), but god she’s just making it worse, he thought. Warren just shook his head, unable to form a sentence. “Well.. okay, but here, you should eat.” She offered him the croissant half, which he took with an unsteady hand. 

After a moment of Warren not saying anything, just looking at his shoes, (Y/n) decided to try and start a conversation again. “Do you want to walk to 3rd together?” Warren looked up at her this time and saw that she was offering him a gentle smile. This made Warren blush harder. God Warren, please pull yourself together! 

He decided to walk past her without saying anything, hoping that would take away his awkwardness. She turned around to watch him walk towards his room. “O-okay then. Bye Warren, I’ll see you later... I guess.” Great, Warren, now she hates you even more. You are just a genius, aren’t you? He felt ashamed for how he handled that awkward situation, but what was he supposed to do? Talk to her? I can’t talk to her, he thought. She doesn’t want to talk to me.

(Y/n) felt her throat tighten from the awkwardness of that interaction. Is it because I kept offering him a croissant? He doesn’t want a croissant! Why was I so hell bent on giving him a croissant? Or was it because I offered to help him? He probably doesn’t want my help- I mean I can barely control my mutation-oh god. (Y/n)’s mind continued to spiral with thoughts about Warren until she sat down at her desk for third period. She had taken a liking to Warren almost as soon as she had met him. After the whole apocalypse incident, Professor Xavier had allowed him to enroll in the school, hoping to save him from joining bad forces again. (Y/n) had been assigned to help him heal and regrow his original wings. Even though she wasn’t the best healer at the time (and still wasn’t the best now), she did help with gathering supplies, checking his vitals, and keeping him calm. 

His metal wings had been badly damaged from his fall during the battle. She had kept him calm while others worked to remove the damaged metal, freeing up his back to regrow his feathered wings. It had taken a few weeks for them to get back to their fully grown state and (Y/n) couldn’t get over how gorgeous they were. She found herself on multiple occasions ruffling his feathers when she was supposed to be assisting others in the infirmary. Warren would never admit it, but he loved the feeling of her hands touching him in a gentle manner like she did. He hadn’t been treated with such care and gentleness in a long time.

During the time they spent together, Warren began to feel things towards her as well. They rarely spoke while he was in the infirmary, but the soft touches and warm smiles was all it took for Warren to fall head over heels for her. After his wings were done growing, they didn’t see each other at all until they were put in the same biology class this semester, in which (Y/n) had decided to step up her game and try to speak to him everyday, hoping to get closer to him. Warren admired this about her and he would’ve loved to get closer as well, but his mouth never cooperated. He was always tripping over his words or getting tongue tied, and now with the wings thing it was so much worse. 

After fourth period, (Y/n) made her way to the cafeteria, hoping to see Warren and spark up a conversation since she wasn’t able to do so in biology. She hoped it would go better than her attempt in the hallway that morning. (Y/n) saw Warren sitting with Ororo and Kurt. Since they were all newer to the school they became quite close with each other. (Y/n) was honestly quite jealous of the two, it seemed like Warren could have an actual conversation with them, but for some reason (Y/n) was just too awkward to talk to. Or at least- that’s what she thought.

“You smacked her tray out of her hands?” Ororo was confused at the image of this. “I know that some guys think that teasing is a good way of flirting, which I suppose it can be, but that’s too far.” Warren just rolled his eyes, “I didn’t mean too, okay? It just happened- it’s actually been happening a lot lately and I’m not sure why. My wings accidently smacked Peter in the face too.” 

Kurt was surprised by this, “Why would you smack Peter? Peter is nice.” Kurt’s half full mouth and strong accent made him difficult to understand, especially in the noise of the cafeteria, so Warren just shrugged, hoping that would end the conversation. Warren continued eating his food (shitty cafeteria pizza) until he heard a chair at their table pull out. He looked up, meeting (Y/n)’s eyes for a moment before quickly going back down to his food. Before he knew what was happening he felt his wings stretch out, hitting Ororo who was seated next to him. “What- what are you doing?” She asked while struggling to move his feathers out of her face. “I don’t- I um-” Warren had no clue what to say so he immediately stood up and headed outside towards the pond, where hopefully he wouldn’t hit anyone anymore or embarrass himself. Once he sat down his wings finally closed up. 

“Why do you guys keep doing this to me, huh? Do you just want me to suffer?” He heard leaves crunching behind him and quiet laughter, making him turning his head. “Are you talking to your wings?” (Y/n) took a seat next to him, still laughing after seeing him scolding his wings. “Yea, well, I-um. Yea, they just- poof up-and i-i uh, yea.” He felt his face heat up again for at least the third time that day. Why the hell do you keep blushing, Warren?- just calm down, god. 

She just nodded. “Hm yeah. How long have they been doing that?” He shrugged at her question before responding (or at least attempting too). “Just-uh- p-past few days.” She nodded again, moving to sit behind him. “Let me see if I can find something causing it.” 

As soon as she placed her hands on his back his wings puffed up again and stretched out. “Woah! I don’t feel anything though.” Warren felt his face burn even hotter, he had never felt so embarrassed and it was even worse that is was happening in front of her. I’ve already made a fool of himself like four times today, she must think I’m just- weird, oh god. 

Warren decided he needed to go to run from his embarrassment (again), so he jumped up and did a low fly to the main building, heading towards his room. (Y/n) once again wasn’t sure where things went wrong. Is it because I touched him? Or does he just not like me at all?

That was the last she saw of Warren for the rest of the week. He continued to skip 3rd period to avoid her and he decided to eat all meals in the privacy of his room. 

By Friday afternoon, (Y/n) was sick of not seeing him. She started to actually get worried that his muscle spasms might be causing more damage than he thinks. At lunch on Friday, (Y/n) went up to Ororo’s table, hoping to find some answers to why Warren was avoiding her and what was wrong with him.

“Hey, Ororo- can I sit and talk for a minute?” Ororo only nodded her response, hands and mouth full of a cafeteria grilled cheese. “So-um, I know you are Warren are close and I was just wondering why...” (Y/n) looked down at the table, suddenly feeling shy. Why am I bothering her with this? I sound so desperate, oh my god. 

“He’s only had that problem with you as far as I know.” (Y/n) looked up at her, “Which problem?” 

“The wing thing. Whenever you come up or talk to him it happens, not sure why though. He’s just trying to save himself from some embarrassment by avoiding you.”

“Oh-” (Y/n) stood up after processing her words. “Thanks, I’ll-uh, I’ll see you around, Ororo, thanks.”

Warren was sitting on his cold bed, eating a grilled cheese, when he heard a knock at his door. He stood up and opened it, thinking it would be Ororo or Kurt, who had both been helping him sneak off to eat in his room. “H-hey, Warren.”

His eyes met hers and his wings puffed up again. “H-hi.” He tried to close them up, but they stayed open, not obeying him. “I-um, I just wanted to talk to you about why you’ve been avoiding me.” Warren’s red face burned even harder at this statement. “I-I haven’t.. I’m not-” 

“Warren.” She cut off his rambling. “I think I know what’s happening to you.” She gestured at his open wings. He nodded for her to continue, his eyes on the floor. "In Biology today, which I guess you weren't there.. but anyways, we learned about sexual selection." (Y/n) felt her face burn at the thought of sexual things with Warren. Warren face heated up too, trying not to think where this was going, he was pretty sure he knew. "It's like- um, like peacocks.. the males have colorful feathers and they show them off to impress females..." As she said it, (Y/n) started to get worried that she had the wrong idea of what was happening, but it was too late to take it back so she just kept going. "Maybe you were trying to... impress me? But you just didn't know it.."

Warren was silent, not sure what to say. I think she's right, oh God this is so much worse than I could've imagined oh boy. "Nevermind, you know it's- it's stupid, sorry." As (Y/n) turned to leave his doorway, Warren surprised himself, reaching out to grab her arm, pulling her towards him. He placed a gentle kiss on her lips, then pulling away before looking down again. "I-uhm. I think you're right.." He looked up into her eyes, she was as red as he was, giving him a sweet smile. "That's- that's great, yeah." She nodded, still in shock from his soft lips touching hers. "I'm glad that I'm right, that's good.." He nodded before placing his lips back on hers, arms wrapping around her waist while hers traveled to his golden hair.

[faces-in-unexpected-places]

One of the few times that I am angry (long post)

Okay, I really REALLY need to say something about this because I’ve let it go enough times that I think it could stand to be expressed. I think it’s probably pretty clear that I am a generally happy person. Though I don't keep up with it consistently, I do have some 200 posts called Positivity Daily, and a strong part of who I am stems from my love of passion, happiness, humour, hard work and determination. My blog is minimally active and doesn’t express all of those things incredibly deeply, but they are there because I value and live by those things in my everyday life to the best of my ability.

But I am angry right now, and I’m tired of letting things go. Just this once, I want to talk about something that I see often and has made me so sick and tired of it.

My spanish final was broken up into an individual section and a group section. And my partner for the group section throughout the semester just finally got on my last nerve today. For 15 weeks, I’ve listened to this kid be be pessimistic and judgemental of his surroundings and the people he talks to because his self-esteem and sense of responsibility is too god damn fragile to allow him to be humble and genuine.

I’ve watched him try his hardest to fit into this stereotype of a hard-boiled detective because his major is criminology. I’ve watched him be insulting and fake-edgy and offensive and play it off as if everyone around him is somehow fundamentally wrong in feeling uncomfortable when he sarcastically asks someone “did you forget to take your pills today”.

For 15 weeks, all he’s done is bitch and moan and whine and piss his pants because he doesn’t want to be in this (required) class. He glares at me when I laugh and have fun and actually learn the material, and somehow makes the effort to show that I am the “outcast” for not hating myself and everything in the world because the hour and a half of spanish class is quite possibly the worst thing that somebody can force him to sit through. He makes it sound like my learning the material is me “showing off” and ask “why can’t you just say something simple in spanish, instead of all this fancy shit”. Except everything in this class is simple because it is an introductory class. The reason it sounds fancy is because he just hasn’t paid any attention.

But you know what? I’m fucking sick of it. He talks about how hard everything is and this is the last thing he needs right now. People forget that just because I am silly and have fun and positive that I’m not a fucking adult. I try to be fun and genuine but if somebody wants to be that much of a buzzkill and try to bring out the worst in everybody then things can get really adult and spiteful really fucking fast.

Do you think I want to be there? Do you think I’m just brimming with excitement  to come to spanish class and show off all this “fancy shit” that I know? Because I’m not. I was kind of inconvenienced when they told me that I had to take a language because I’m trying to focus on getting as much advanced biology and chemistry as I can. And throwing a language into my semester would distract me from the parts of my education that are most important to me. I chose spanish because I took it in high school and I would be able to focus more on my future in biology.

But that doesn’t stop me from enjoying and appreciating the fact that I get to learn another language. There is somebody right there in front of me that is saying “hey, I will teach you this thing that you hardly know anything about and try to keep you as engaged as possible”. Maybe spanish isn’t my exact passion, but that is amazing that somebody would do that for me. That is a wonderful opportunity and I actually appreciate it.

Being a massive dick and being offensive and judgemental and flippant about unique opportunities that are presented to you does not do anything for you other than piss me off and make you miserable. There is nothing wrong with doing well in class. There is nothing wrong with doing well in anything. The lack of consideration and appreciation that he has for his life completely astounds me.

One of the few things that boils my blood is watching somebody suck the life and enrichment out of something with their pessimism, attack people’s self-esteem with judgement, and take the amazing privileges around them for granted. I’m so tired of watching people do this and in all honesty, I want them to shut the fuck up and appreciate what they have because how perfect does life have to be before you stop being such an absolute torture to interact with.

Do they not think other people are struggling? I have plenty of things that I can be shitty and pissy about but I choose not to. Why? Because it make me unhappy. It would make the people around me unhappy. Want to know what I struggle with? My girlfriend that I love very much lives 8 hours away and we only get to see each other every few months, whereas other people see their significant others every day. What do I come home to every night? Not her. Instead I turn my diffuser on before my roommates smoke a bunch of fucking weed and make the living room and kitchen disgusting with beer and left out food.

Want to know what I learned from my research this semester? Nothing. My data has not proven anything at all. My experiments were inconclusive, some of them probably went wrong and I’m not sure which ones. I stayed in the lab until ten at night on a lot of days just to get as much data as I could. I also spilled fucking Anatoxin all over myself while I was experimenting, ruined a whole batch of experiments and I also had to throw away the sweater I was wearing because the alternative would be death by a neurotoxin.

My mom is in the middle of moving from the house I grew up in because she bought a new house (congrats to her, so excited!) but renovating it is also taking much longer than she thought, so she’s been staying with my step-dad’s family for a few months. Not much privacy. She’s living out of a suitcase. She has some of my things with her that I’d like to have back but it’s buried under piles of shit in the back of an enormous van, so I won't get my things for a few more months. This Thanksgiving, we ate store-brand macaroni, mashed potatoes and sauerkraut in this new house which has no internal walls – only wooden beams.

I went to get a letter of recommendation from my old tutoring boss for my applications to grad school and you know what I found out when I asked for his name? HE MOVED TO JAPAN. I had no idea, he just up and left and I was scrambling because I had no idea if I could find another person to be my 3rd reference. What a fucking curveball.

But have I been bitching and moaning and talking about how my life is so terrible and everything sucks this whole time? No. I have been working my ass off to make it to where I am. I am going to be the first person in my family to go to graduate school and it’s terrifying, but it’s also one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I never dreamed of being good enough to pursue something like this. I am and, it’s such a fantastic thing to have.

You know what my responses were to all of those difficult things happening?

Seeing Abbey only every few months: It won't be forever, and I’m seeing her for christmas, that’s good.

Inconclusive results on my research: I got lots of good experience, and there’s still more work to be done for the future. I’m not shit out of luck, I just have to keep trying, and that’s good.

Spilling Anatoxin on myself: At least I’m not dead. And at least the sweater I got it on wasn’t particularly special to me.

My mom moving: It’s been a stressful change, but it’s a good change. She deserves this new house and I’m glad she’s still moving forward in life. At least there was heat in the house while we were eating our dinner. And I get to look forward to getting my things back, since my mom was thoughtful enough to hang onto all of it during the move.

My old boss moving to Japan: He had a good job opportunity and he took it, GOOD FOR HIM. If I couldn’t get him to be my letter of reference, then I could figure out a way to spin gold out of yarn somewhere. And turns out, I DID get him to write me the reference, so even better.

The POINT of all this is...

Life is always hard and there will always be a reason to be down and upset. And  it’s expected that you will feel that way sometimes. You may even be cranky and shitty and hurtful to people; hopefully very infrequently, and you apologise afterwards for hurting them. Try your best, find someone to talk it out with, make some good changes and decisions for your life. Life gets you down and it’s tough. I get it. We all do. But please forgive me if watching you make everyone else’s life even harder by bitching for the fifteenth week in a row about how you hate spanish class makes me want to foam at the fucking mouth.

Sometimes you just need to shut the fuck up, deal with the hand you were given, try your best and appreciate what you have instead of what you wish you did. I’m so exasperated from seeing so many things being taken for granted. Stop judging people so harshly for the smallest things. Focus on you. Make yourself better. Stop tearing everyone down because you’re too scared to build yourself up.

The amount of frustration that I have watching someone moan over the smallest thing and have the audacity to glare at and insult me for putting my best foot forward in the face of adversity literally gives me a pounding headache and heart-palpitations.

Moral of the story: Don’t be a parasite because you’re scared to own your life; especially your mistakes, flaws, and weaknesses.

[primrooks]

Happy 3rd Birthday Strange Magic!

   Three years of hindsight definitely gives you a perspective on who and where you were at the time. 2014-5 me was an upstart animation student who’d have been close to finishing her first film, coasting on that cloud of bliss before being critiqued to some sense of humility by her future thesis advisor the very next semester (miss you, Mario). In addition, I was feeling the exhaustion of following the wrong online group at the wrong time.

   Said group consisted of people I had followed for about three years as well, online comedians and video essayists whose opinions I perhaps… leaned too much of my own time and identity on. From them I learned what personalized, in-depth and thoughtful media critique could look like, but they all also happened to be five to ten years older than me. I simmered in defensive stupor if we disagreed, and they had personal drama way out of my depth at the time. It struck me then how little I actually knew these people. The whole affair felt like seeing your favorite teachers at school toss passive-aggressive insults at each other if they met at the hallway. Some people fed on the drama, added fire to it; I just knew that this didn’t settle with me.

   The next step was stupefyingly easy; I clicked “unfollow” a bunch and kept my interest based on their work rather than their personas. What finally pushed me to do just that was Strange Magic.

   Back around late 2014, I happened to catch @joons and @mothlissa’s back-and-forth about this strange, strange animated movie that LucasFilm barely bothered to promote, and I’d frankly never seen such alert interest in something I knew that my then-Twitter circle would mock to death.

   These two were just talking and theorizing about this film without the slightest hint of sarcasm. They honestly loved it even before it came out, and I thought I’d already seen how this played out for other people: anticipation mutating into crushing disappointment, followed by weeks of backhanded snarks on Twitter. But the whole affair got me interested, enough for me to actually create the first fanart for this movie for the Strange Magic Tumblr tag. What started as a sprout became a sky-piercing beanstalk soon after, as I believe I’ve seen Strange Magic in theaters up to four or five times. I went on that aforementioned unfollowing spree shortly even before the movie came out, simply because I was tired of having my enjoyment of movies be hampered by the jaded opinions of others.

   And the greatest surprise of all was how Strange Magic introduced me to the fact that well, fandom could be fun. I could find people I’d want to interact with in real life, and that even I could add to the conversation. I’ve definitely produced my share of fanart, headcanons and meta writing with this movie, and I’ve shared in the collective delight of seeing new fandom members trickle in (often to their own delight and confusion). It introduced me to such a close-knit and positive online atmosphere that I can’t say I’ve found anywhere else, and I wouldn’t trade my Strange Magic mutuals @joons, @mothlissa, @mooncactus, @dainesanddaffodils, @pimpernels and @proserphone for anyone else in the world.

   Strange Magic happened to come around a time when I was sorting myself out of some growing pains. It arrived when I was stepping out of an emotionally draining social media scape and into a much more enriching and amicable space, something I would’ve sorely needed given everything that would transpire on a worldwide scale the following years. It’s bizarre that this screwy jukebox musical would be a lightning rod for so many kind, open and funny people, but that also speaks to the sincerity at the heart of the movie.

   Faulty pacing notwithstanding, Strange Magic is a genuinely sweet story about two heartbroken people rekindling that spark of romance through another person who accepts them for who they are. And the ride to get there is fraught with all sorts of twists and turns, and that often makes for some of the best love stories. Its main characters may be a couple of brash cynics, but having to play the straight men to the shenanigans around them is what unites them in this odd kinship that naturally brings down their defenses.

   Come to think of it, that’s a funny parallel to the relationships between the Strange Magic fan community, honestly. I think most of us came to the tags to make some sense of the dissonance between the critical consensus of this movie vs our own maddening love for it, until we basically came to shrug and shout, “Eh, who cares!” We had nothing to lose for being genuine, so we let loose and basked in each other’s company as part of a mutual appreciation society, and we made some great friends along the way. That’s what this movie has truly given me over the years, and I hope it can do so for even more people as they discover it.