#like... wow y'all. we made it
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Year In Review!!!
Cutting it close to the New Year in my time zone, so what better way to end the year with a review of some of my favorite art pieces from each month! Let's see how I've grown together eh? <3

Started this out in June because that's really when I started using my Tumblr and posting art! Hopefully next year I have an even fuller YIR collection to show. :3
(Hehe all the Suns and Moons are reaching out. They really like y'all!)
Seriously though, thank you to everyone for being such a welcoming community and making this all possible! I have never felt so motivated to draw as much as I have this year and I have all y'all to thank!
So thank you to all the Artists, Writers, Theorists, Simps, Lovelies, and Mootie Patooties that made this year so amazing and full of lively chatter! The internet never felt so comforting before joining y'all! <3
HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE <3 <3 <3
vvv Links to each image below! vvv
June
July
August
September
October
November
December
#Happy New Years!#YIR2024#cw blood#<- Its for the red sap but I wanna label that just in case it would trigger anyone <3#dca fandom#fnaf dca#dca community#dca fnaf#dca fanart#dca art#fnaf moon#fnaf sun#fnaf eclipse#dca oc#Hope everyone has had a lovely last day of 2024!#We made it lovelies!!!#May y'all start your year full of joy and whimsy ✨✨✨#I am so grateful for this community#I never have expected to feel so happy here <3#Never engaged with a fandom like this before!#Now I'm in multiple discord servers for it wow O3O#Insane for me tbh I don't have any others outside of friend groups LMAO#Look what y'all did to me /j /pos#<333#my art
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BG3 has two of the most thoughtful, unapologetic, no holds barred depictions of men with abusive female partners I've every seen (Wyll + Mizora and Gale + Mystra), which is so rare to see in any media but especially video games, and some of the Larian writers seem determined to convince me it was 100% by accident
#and like with mystra they even managed to do it without demonizing women as a whole!!#like wow if I could believe y'all did that on purpose I'd be impressed!#i know mizora isn't technically wyll's partner but you know what I mean#imo larian is running into a similar trap bioware has fallen into#where they are waaayyyy too present in their fan communities#bc like nearly everything the writers said about the game recently has made me go :/#and I think a large part of what they're doing is trying to appeal to a specific and very weird part of their fanbase#i'm conflicted bc on one hand i'd love to get a patch to give some of the underwritten companions more content#but on the other hand I like what we have and really *really* don't want them to change/take it#bg3#wyll ravengard#gale of waterdeep#marie speaks
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This particular population of Marauders fans can justify and contextualise themselves all they want, if they want. But as an aroace girlie, the sudden usage of asexuality as a trend just. Makes me sad.
#coming from an aroace person#i'm probably being dramatic but it just makes me sad. idk#i'm not trans and i wasn't around when jkr made those tweets about trans people so i can't speak for them#so yeah i'm only talking about us ace folks#and i'm not speaking for all aces either!! this is just me#idk. idk idk. it just doesn't feel like it's doing us any justice#but oh it feels so insincere and superficial#so yeahh idk. i'm just sad#i shouldn't be this upset wtf#and of course i know this isn't done with ill intent#i need to shut up actually#i'm just venting#none of y'all need ME to tell you this but. yeah just keep doing what you want#marauders#harry potter#marauders fandom#idk if i'll have the energy to respond to any comments if there will be any#there's things i wanna say to you#hp marauders#marauders era#i came back to this post after 7hrs and oml the tags are so choppy but i was too upset to care#but ik you guys get it#hopefully#like i'm really happy that y'all care about us!! but at the same time#this still feels very superficial#the sudden wave of ace headcanons just doesn't sit right with me in this particular context#because it feels like we're doing this purely to spite JKR and not because we. actually care#i won't be a hater about it though. i think i just need to get over myself#i think i'm justified somehow for feeling this way but also like. wow i'm being dramatic
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holding back tears when your 47k fic hits 80 kudos but you cant like celebrate with anyone because thats literally not even an accomplishment but you thought it would never actually reach 80 kudos and you're being an emotional little baby :') :') :')
#it's literally only gotten 5 kudos and 2 comments since it updated a week ago so i know this is what it's going to cap out at#and i just didnt think it would actually make it to 80 kudos and ive been very emotional the past few days so i'm just#actually holding back tears this is so fucking stupid akdsjkld#other actually good writers are like wow! look my fic hit 1k kudos!#and that's such a cool accomplishment but like. i will literally never write something that gets that many kudos#so if i waited until i hit real accomplishments i would just never celebrate anything! i'm sorry i'm so bad at things 😭#so anyway clearly we are not made of the same stuff and you folks are all lightyears ahead of me in terms of ability#so i will politely take myself out of your airspace because i am not worthy to be around y'all#but i will privately celebrate my stupid little milestones :') <3
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#wow ok so the new nurse practitioner im connected with is uh. The Worst Person#extremely discriminatory#doesnt give a fuck about her patients well being or health#wont do her job properly even when its fucking over said patients#is lazy as shit and tries to get out of doing any work whatsoever even just checking a fax#and has now screwed my healthcare over bc she's going on vacation for 2 weeks and DIDNT INFORM ME even tho i have tests scheduled#and am supposed to start meds that r extremely time sensitive#but now i just. Cannot access them bc she wont prescribe them before she leaves#so uh. ok. we're fuckin Done w this#gonna talk to my support worker tomorrow and explain and ask for a referral outside the program#which suuuucks bc that means said NP would have to do it and im sure she'll put up a fight but uh#ya no sweetie we r done w this#u hate disabled ppl and think my life and health is a joke#u have spent 3 weeks sabotaging any attempts i have made at getting adequate care and access to resources#genuinely and actually Fuck Off And Die#this is. truly infuriating i rly dont have words#like hooo boy if i had to quote some of the shit she's said and done y'all would be shocked#which is rly saying something considering the abysmal state of healthcare in most countries rn#aiyaiyai#Fuck This#i am. so so so done
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ougbh
spooms. theym gone.
#i'm 13 words away from having written 3k today#i'm so fucking exhausted but my brain is like ''storee? we tell storie????????''#and like yeah of course but also like#...today shot me back to a place in my brain i haven't been in a while because i Live Amongst People now#which made all of my previous coping skills shoot straight to the forefront of my mind which um. not *super* helpful#because my previous coping skills were let's say not that good actually#and i'm realizing that i really use writing as a form of processing and it's like i knew that? but also wow boy#that sure is what i'm doin huh?#but like yeah. anyway. if folks are interested in snips of a YYH fic#i'll see what i can do to share some of this rough draft with y'all#be warned: i like to make characters have hot gay sex with each other#so don't get too attached if that's a thing you're not gonna like
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...I'm sorry, I wasn't going to say anything, but this post is so fucking silly, I just can't
"Religion was man-made!" ....as opposed to what? Alien-made? Dolphin-made? Zebra-made? Who else is out here on this planet making religions other than humans?
It's like "your mental illness is all in your head!" like? Yeah? Where else would it be, my ass??
"Game over!" ....gurl what 🤣🤣

Game over
#yeah#like all other organized institutions#and your point is...?#also some of y'all need some history in your lives#fr#humans have been making religions since we started wondering how the blinky lights got up there in the sky#it's embarrassingly late in the game to be getting mad about it#it's funny how everyone's an expert on the included-for-reference bits of the bible#when they're getting all riled up#when “shut up and sit down” is literally in Matthew#and all it would take to shoot down all the protestant nonsense#do not stand on the streetcorners and pray aloud like the hypocrites do#that they may be seen by men#but rather go inside and pray in secret#and your Father who sees in secret shall reward you openly#(I'm paraphrasing but it's 2am and my brain can't generate King James Old Englishe at this hour)#(sue me)#a much more direct counterpoint to the obnoxious behavior everyone loves to cite#but no#y'all always go for judges and leviticus#martin#love ya#but “sola scriptura” was a BAD FUCKING IDEA#it VERY quickly devolved into “sola my specific pastor's favorite scriptura”#also everyone who gets bent out of shape over the epistles needs to google pauline pseudonymity#and everyone on here claiming xtianity is uniformly bad for women needs to retrieve their collective head from their collective ass#in gnostic xtianity (to which i ascribe) ste.mary magdalene is acknowledged as Yeshua's wife#and has her own gospel#and the gospel of philip is all about sacred union to a degree that the RCC and def any protestants would find scandalous#like wow it's almost like religion IS man-made and thus no religion is a monolith
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THE WOES OF BOWTIES AND MISSING PUZZLE PIECES — ROBERT REYNOLDS
REQUEST: reemoony asked: loveeee your writing and I hope this request reach you. Can you make Bob and y/n are liking each other but they never say it but everyone is well aware of their feelings. One day Bob having a rough day and void jumps out, creating quite a chaos. She tries to talk him through it but void being void thinking she’s a liability for them, he “consumed” her. Few moments after that he turns back into Bob & other people came back from void but not her. Angsty angsty but with happy ending please. Sorry if this complicated, just change it into what you feel right and easier.
WARNING(S): SPOILERS?? me trauma dumping on page 24 for the plot (google doc verified) ANGST AND MORE ANGST, mentions of toxic relationship, someone dies, Bob needs a hug, and a kiss, and lots of reassurance, and probably therapy, happy ending I swear!! I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote this one, folks. I hope I hit everything, this should've been two parts lmfao. I am not responsible for your therapy bills.
WORD COUNT: 18,593 (don't kill me I was on the roll)
PAIRING: Robert Reynolds (Sentry/The Void) x fem!reader
A/N: I hope you enjoy it! :) Feedback is always welcome! I was truly second-guessing posting this. I’m starting to feel like I don’t have the writing means to handle Bob with such care like some of y'all do.😭 but here we are. This took me a week y’all, ya girls tired <3
MASTERLIST
The evening had come around the corner faster than Bob could grasp. Alexei was making last-minute calls to use their time wisely so that they might show up to the event at a cordial time. He would have if he could get his hair to cooperate with him.
"Knock. Knock." Yelena announces, tapping on Bob's ajar door. He stands in front of the floor-length mirror in the corner of his room. His black tie attire contrasts with the baggy, loose-fitting hoodie and sweats he wears around the place. The fitted tux does nothing to hide his trained physique.
Yelena exclaims with earnestness. "Wow! Look at you!" She's whistling for effect. Impressed by how well he cleaned up. "Do I smell cologne on you, sir?" Her smile grows.
He stood straight, his eyes widening in the mirror as he turned to face her. His gaze softened, taking in her all dolled up and out of her usual tactical gear. The green was different from the black she wore. He thought then and there that she should wear more colorful outfits. He nods once, dipping his chin to nuzzle his nose into the collar. He inhales deeply.
"It's the one you gifted me for my birthday…Thought I’d give it a try…Thanks…You're not so bad yourself. You...You look beautiful." He smiles sheepishly as he spares her another once-over, bashful.
Yelena grins, thoroughly pleased to hear Bob’s compliment. In the best of ways, it was pleasant to have her efforts noticed.
“Why, thank you,” She responds with genuine gratitude. She spins in place, the skirt of her emerald green dress flowing flawlessly with the motion. She sits on the edge of the bed, flopping down, grabbing one of Bob’s pillows to hold onto. “You look good in a suit, bud. Almost ready?"
"Yeah...Yeah, just need to finish up with my hair. That's all. It’s not...responding well to the hairspray you lent me, though." He pulls at a strand. Bob’s hair was relatively problematic. No order, flow, or movement that made sense to the careful eye.
Bob turns back to the mirror. Messing up his hair, parting it to the left, before parting it to the right, trying to maintain its order, but he’s made no progress, thus far.
She smirks, amused by his struggle. "Ah, the woes of getting ready. I should have given you gel; it works miracles better than that stuff. Why don’t I take a look, huh? Maybe I can offer my expertise. We do share the same hairstyle, after all." She rises from the bed, approaches him, and notes the tousled locks that stick out at various angles.
“I don’t wanna take up more of your time…”
“Nonsense.” She motions for him to come here to begin her work. "So….trying to impress anyone?"
Bob glances down at her before focusing back on himself. He tilts his head, feeling the way the suit hugs him. The jacket stops at his waist, not swallowing him whole like his hoodies, which secure him like a blanket. Everything fits justly. He feels exposed. Yelena pauses her movements, watching the uncertainty take over his frown, as though he’s weighing something significant. The tension is all in his shoulders.
"No...not really…Just–trying to make myself look the part." His response was vague, not giving away the reason for his meticulous grooming.
Yelena quirks an eyebrow. She’s perceptive. Nothing gets past her, especially when it comes to her teammates. She hums as she moves behind him, scrutinizing his hair from a new angle. "Really? Just trying to look the part?" She questions, her tone filled with skepticism. She playfully runs her fingers through his hair, testing its resistant nature. "So, you're not trying to impress a special someone? Not even the pretty lady getting ready across the hall from us?"
Bob pauses momentarily, caught off guard by her direct assumption. He turns his head towards her, a slight flush appearing on his cheeks. He can't completely mask his surprise at her astute comment.
"N-No." He shakes his head a bit too quickly.
Yelena smirks, her keen insight confirmed. She can see right through Bob's attempts at nonchalance. His sudden denial made it even more apparent that he was trying to hide his infatuation. There was no hiding behind it though. They all knew.
She steps closer to him, her gaze never wavering. "So you got all dressed up and started messing with your hair for an hour, just for the sake of looking the part?" Yelena cocks her head slightly to one side.
"Yes." He nods his head stubbornly. "Just trying to look the part..." He swallows nervously before he fixes his attention back to his appearance.
Yelena lets out a faint laugh at his repeated insistence. Her eyes narrow playfully; she ruffles spots of hair here and there. She moves over to the other side of him before continuing her touch-ups. "Y'know, Bob..." She starts, her voice low and light. "You're not a very good liar." She places a hand gently on his shoulder, leaning in slightly. “I’ve thought you better than that, sir.”
"I'm sorry…" Bob releases a sigh.
Yelena continues to fiddle with his hair from the new angle. Her touch is gentle. "S’alright… You try to hide it, she tries to hide it. You both are not very good at this thing. But we all see the way you look at each other." She speaks with a soft but knowing tone. As if she's been patiently waiting for him to acknowledge his feelings. "You see her like she’s the quiet that fills the void inside you, all the noise goes out and she’s there, bringing you that peace, and she sees you like you’re the sunrise she’s always been eager to see after she’s been living in the dark her whole life."
Bob laughs, the sound nervous, mixed in with a scoff. He's in denial. "I…I don't know what you're talking about."
Yelena chuckles at this, her smirk growing. "Oh, come on, Bob." She moves around him again, standing before him, her eyes meeting his gaze pointedly. "You think we haven't noticed how your eyes light up whenever she enters a room? She stumbles over her words when you ask her a simple question. Your gross motor skills somehow fail you when you see the tiniest hint of her smile? And she spews weird little facts that no one can make sense of." She shakes her head slightly, amused. "You're in love, as is she, and we can all see it. Last week, you fumbled a book when she spoke to you in the kitchen."
"I slipped..." Bob looked down, shrugging his shoulders, feigning indifference to your past interactions.
"You were sitting down. The book was closed."
Bob begins to teeter back and forth to try to calm himself. "Are…Are you done?" He meets her gaze through the glass. His eyes flitted up to his now messily but organized hairdo. His eyes crinkle at the sight. "It looks the same."
Yelena chuckled, her eyes gleaming. His words felt like a cover, a desperate attempt to deflect from the truth. She playfully patted his shoulder before moving closer, standing directly behind him again. She perched her chin on his shoulder. "You shouldn't fuss so much, you look great. As for your unruly hair, I only messed with it a tiny bit." Yelena pinched her fingers. "Figured some part of yourself should remain true tonight..." Yelena reached up to tousle it for show. "Also, I have it on good authority that a certain birdy has told me she likes it when it resembles a bird's nest." He doesn't miss her wink through the glass.
He still can't help but release his doubts to the widow. The way his self-esteem remains low. “I don’t feel great, Yelena. This…This isn’t me. This suit, my hair, and the nice shoes. It feels like I’m putting on a mask.”
"Bob, listen to me," She says, squeezing his shoulder. "I know it might feel weird. It is a bit weird. You're wearing a fancy suit with your hair slightly combed and shoes that aren't sneakers." She lets out a faint laugh. "But you're not hiding yourself away. Putting yourself into a box approved by Valentina." Yelena gently turns him around to face her. "You're just allowing yourself to be seen in a different light.” She squeezes his shoulder again, reassuringly. "You deserve to feel great about yourself."
"I feel good in sweatpants."
Yelena laughs heartedly this time; she loves how adamant he can be. "We all do." She gives him a light, playful nudge. "But that's not going to fly tonight. You're going to wear the suit, you're going to go out with your friends, have a great time, all while looking good." She grins, her tone light.
"I don't feel good though..."
Yelena senses his unease. She meets his gaze again, her expression serious yet compassionate. "You are incredibly good looking, Bob. You're just not used to feeling that way, seeing yourself in that way. We've all had these moments. Hell, I've had my share," She admitted, her smile briefly fading. She quickly catches herself and tries to uplift the mood again. "It's just one party. How bad can it be?" She nudges him again, this time laying a playful punch to his chest. "Just this once, humor me. Let yourself experience something out of your normal routine." She reaches up to fix a strand playing stubborn. "Also, the little birdie has told me she loves the sight of a man in a crisp suit, too." She nudges him twice with her elbow.
"Okay." He laughs at her incredulous antics and light teasing. A beat passes before his brow furrows. "We have a bird?"
Yelena bursts into laughter at his question. "Oh my god- No." She grabs him on the arm to ground herself. Her voice filled with mirth. “Bob, no. We...We don't have a bird." She shakes her hands and head. "It's just a figure of speech. It means I have inside information. It's- Oh Bob." Yelena's shoulders slump in defeat. Bob offers a timid grin before he laughs lightly with her, finally understanding what she meant.
"Oh right...Y/n’s the bird. I-I get it now." Bob rocks back and forth with a solid nod.
Yelena playfully rolls her eyes but can't help but smile at Bob's delayed reaction. "Yes, she's the bird.”
Bob glances back at his reflection, still weighing his options. "Is it too late to change into my robe?"
Yelena chuckles at his attempt to escape the situation. “Well, you certainly can’t show up to a gala in pajamas. Sorry, buddy. No PJs tonight. You're stuck in the suit until the party's over." She grins at him, her tone playful but filled with determination. "And I'm also eighty-eight percent sure Valentina will kill you if you set foot into the venue looking like you just rolled out of bed, so the tux stays on."
“It wouldn’t be the first time…” He avoids her gaze, his cheeks still dusted with a slight tint, a mixture of embarrassment and reluctance. A bit of his inner turmoil was still cracking through the surface. "I… I should stay home tonight."
Yelena's eyes soften once more as he suggests excluding himself from the event tonight. "No, no. You're going, Bob. Don't even think about backing out now." She steps closer to him, her gaze steady and firm. "You look great! Listen to me; we want you to get out of your robes and that blue sweater you always wear. Take you out for once since you're always here at the tower. Bob, surely you wouldn't want to miss the chance to see how stunning Y/n looks in her evening gown, would you? Gorgeous." She emphasizes.
Bob falls quiet for a moment, contemplating her words. His mind drifts, picturing how you might look all dressed up. Your hair done all nice, maybe some jewelry, nothing too flashy, since you preferred decorating your fingers and ears with simplistic pieces. He can't help but wonder what color might adorn your perfect smile. Red, maybe orange, perhaps that color you told him was called mauve, with your lips lined.
I...I bet you look pretty. He thinks.
Yelena grins, her eyes glinting with satisfaction. She can see the thought of you in his mind, the vivid image of you dressed to the nines igniting a spark in his expression. She catches his brief moment of daydreaming before he catches himself, his gaze snapping away from the pillow to meet hers.
"Bob..." Yelena's voice edges amused.
"I just..." Bob starts, then lets out a frustrated exhale. "I'm not really... I'm not the party type, you know. I always stayed indoors growing up. I never went out much. I never had this. Friends who wanted to be around me. This gala is far from my normal routine. I don’t think letting me go out so soon would be a good idea. It’s been a year. You guys said it yourself, you don't want to risk Void getting out again. You...You guys would be better off going without me. I can stay behind…I don’t mind."
She understands that he harbors doubts and fears about his place among them.
"Bob..." Yelena tilts her head, staring at him pointedly, her voice gentle yet firm. "We aren't keeping you locked up to contain 'Void'. It's not about that. Not anymore." She reaches up to place a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "You're not a ticking time bomb, you never have been. We want you there with us. Even Y/n, alright? If it puts your mind at ease, even for just one second. She was the one who suggested we bring you along with us. Not because we feel it’s our obligation, and no one can watch you. But because we genuinely want to see you out of this place, cleaned up! We don't want to see you holed up in this tower forever, okay?"
Bob's heart skips at the mention of you wanting him there, too. He fidgets momentarily, avoiding eye contact by looking down at his shoes. The polished shine on them reminded him that he could have these things now. The privilege of owning nice things.
Nice things never last long. In his life at least.
“Okay…” His mind whirls with the never-ending feeling of being a bother and a burden. He's hesitant, torn between his desire to attend and his habitual tendency to keep to himself. He bites his lip, the urge to decline the invitation was tempting against the subtle want of not wanting to be stuck at the tower…alone. "I just..." His hands lingers over his naked collar.
Her voice is gentle with a hint of encouragement. “You what, Bob?” She waits for him to verbalize his concerns; she’s patient.
"No...It's stupid." He brushes it off with a laugh.
"No, say it!" She encourages.
"No. I should stay home-"
"Bob, tell me." Yelena dipped her head to meet his eyes. He gives in after a moment.
"...I don't know how to put a tie on." He laments, lamely gesturing to the fabric he had tossed on his bed moments earlier, having given up on trying to do it himself. His father was absent from teaching him how to put one one. He never did get to bond over a silly thing, such as a tie with him. The rite of passage, or whatever they call it. The transition into becoming a man, knowing how to tie one yourself.
Yelena chuckles softly at his confession, her amusement tinged with empathy. Her eyes flicker towards the abandoned tie on the bed.
"Oh, Bob..." She gently pats his shoulder this time. "Don't worry; we can sort it out, alright." She takes his hand and guides him to sit on the edge of the bed. She picks up the tie, draping it around his neck. "You know... You could have just asked me." She says gently, wrapping the tie around his neck.
"You already helped with my hair." He shakes his head.
Yelena playfully rolls her eyes at his stubbornness, carefully ensuring one end is slightly longer. This difference would account for the tie’s eventual knot later. Yelena crossed the longer end over the shorter one, then pulled it under the shorter end and through the loop around Bob's neck. She continued folding the shorter end at the widest part to create a bow shape.
"Yes, but that's no excuse. You could have asked. Nothing wrong with asking for more help." With the bow shape firmly in place, she brought the longer end directly over it. Pinching the bow shape and the longer end together, carefully threading the longer end through a loop she had opened in the back of the bow. She then pulled both ends to tighten them in place.
"See? Sorted out." She pats his chest, stepping back to look over her handiwork and adjusting the fabric until she is satisfied with how it sits at his neck.
"Thanks...I was never taught how." Bob trails off, not wanting to bring forth thoughts of his father. They were never pleasant.
She notices the hint of melancholy in his voice upon mentioning not being able to put on a tie, but she chooses to move past it, not wanting to dampen the moment. Instead, she pats his chest once more, grinning. "Don't worry, Alexei doesn’t either." She winks at him once more.
He nods out of curiosity before he even registers what he's asking. "Does…Does Y/n know how to tie a tie?"
Yelena raises her eyebrow at his question. She tries to hide a smirk, realizing where his mind is currently at. "Hmm...You know, I'm not entirely sure. But..." She pauses, enjoying the moment. "If I had to guess, I'd bet she would. She's got an endless amount of skills hidden beneath the surface. Surely tying ties is a secret she has, wouldn’t hurt to ask her about it."
"I-I wouldn't put it past her…She's great at everything." His admiration was not lost on her.
"That she is..." Yelena smirks. “You should tell her you know. That you’re in love with her.” She nudges his foot with her heel.
He wrings his hands together, leaning onto his elbows placed on his knees. As tempting as it sounds, he wouldn't be able to gain the confidence to execute it. Confessing to you how he felt. The feelings he harbored. "No…It’s better this way. If I keep it to myself."
Yelena's expression softens at his reluctance. She sits next to him, considering his words. "Bob, listen to me. Life…it’s too short to keep something like that to yourself. I've seen you around her, the way your worries fade. That sense of security that she brings you. That you bring to her. It’s all in the risk worth taking." Yelena continues, choosing her words with care. "Don't let fear keep you from telling her how you feel. You'll never know what might happen if you don’t take that chance."
He meets her gaze. His locks falling over his eyes, hiding him. "What if I mess it all up?”
“I don’t think you could.”
“And if I do…I don’t want to hurt Y/n.”
“Relationships get messy, Bob, it’s part of growing together. Do you think we’d be here today, as the new avengers if we continued to butt heads every time?”
“No…”
“You have nothing to lose.” Yelena encourages. “Trust me. Just be yourself. Tell her how you feel, and before it’s too late, alright.”
“I'll think about it…" Bob stands up as Alexei's voice rings out from the hall, indicating it was time to head out. With a sigh, Bob steps out of the door frame, ready to face whatever the evening has in store.
-
Bob had a completely different idea about how the night would go. Surely, there would have been busybodies intrigued by his presence and would approach him. Possibly ask him about his powers, his involvement, and what he brought to the table, but that was not the case as he continued to stand in the corner of the venue. Alone. His hands were messing with his cuff links to help pass the time. He raised his hand occasionally, sparing a timid greeting to the passersby who gave him a side eye. He wasn’t aware how much of a wallflower he was being, but he was nonetheless immune to the judgeful stares. He might've guessed that his longing gaze also made people whisper and gesture towards him. The fact that he was staring in one particular direction caught everyone’s curiosity.
He was looking at you, mingling and laughing with people he didn’t know. He couldn’t stop staring at you since you met the group in the living room. Yelena wasn’t lying when she said you looked gorgeous.
It felt like time itself stopped and nothing else moved, nor mattered, except you. Walker didn’t fight the shit eating grin on his face when he heard Bob’s sharp intake. The kid was so far gone that he had to nudge the man after you had complimented his appearance.
“And here I thought you were reluctant to go out with us. You look good.” Your sweet grin was making him visibly malfunction. You gave a nervous laugh, looking down as the minutes passed without him saying anything. Heat warms your cheeks. “Did I say something wrong?” Your eyes crinkle with embarrassment.
“No, he–“
“–Oh!” Bob stumbles to the right from Walker’s nudge. “T-Thank you! You don’t look nice- No you do! You look nice…I meant to say you look nice. You’re beautiful…You look beautiful!” Bob grows flustered. “T-Thank you.”
“Geezus.” Walker scoffed, walking away from you both.
“You know you can take your eyes off her for a second, right? She’ll still be there, I promise.” Bucky comes up to him from his peripheral vision. Bob’s face flushed with embarrassment, having been caught. He dips his chin before he locks eyes with the soldier. “Here.” He offers a rounded glass—a golden liquid swirling in its confinement.
“Thanks…” He carefully encircles his hand around the glass and takes a sip. A loud cough erupts from his chest, making him lean over. Bucky chuckles briefly before helping him back upright and patting his chest.
“Scotch on the rocks. Thought you could use some liquid courage. Get some hair on your chest.” Bucky pulls away. Bob watches as the man’s eyes avert, inspecting the room. He blended in well, unlike himself. No one looks twice at Bucky. No one suspects him of anything bad.
“F-For what?” Bob cleared his throat, trying to get over the burn.
“You’re gonna ask her to dance.” Bucky declares.
“I’m…I’m what?” Bob whips his head to peer at him. Then, back to you, you hit a man with your hand across his chest, throwing your head back. How could he ask you to dance when you looked to have been having a swell time across the room?
“Gentlemen…What are we talking about over here?” Walker chimes over. A hand in his pocket, a rounded glass tucked into his palm, faced down.
“I told Bob here to go ask Y/n to dance.”
“No wait- I wasn’t-“ He protests.
“Ha– That I want to see. Do you even know how to dance? Can you dance?”
“Well, no… I can do the Charlie Brown in the cha-cha slide though…”
“You don’t say…” Walker closes his mouth. He shakes his head at Bob’s enthusiastic confirmation. “Maybe teach the kid a step…or two.” Walker lifts his drink to his lips. Bucky pats Bob comfortably against his back, his chin face down, embarrassed that he admitted his lack of dance skills. “Before he asks her.”
“I should’ve stayed home…” Bob muttered to himself.
“No you shouldn’t have. You just need a wingman.”
“A wingman?” Bob’s brows crease.
“Yeah, someone who can help you get the girl. That gives you advice on how to look good in front of her.” Bucky's words cause Bob to look down at himself.
“What more could I do to look okay? Y-Yelena already helped me do my hair and tie.”
“This will have nothing to do with your appearance. You already got the face and the build, kid, don’t worry about that. I just meant more of teaching you how to hold yourself confidently and how you speak to a woman.”
“But Yelena told me to just be my-“
“Forget everything Yelena has told you. Let us help you, alright.” Walker butts in. Bob wrings his hands, he wasn’t too sure about the whole ordeal. Yelena told him to take the chance, to tell you how he felt before it was too late, to be himself, because that’s who you were drawn to. Now the guys were telling him he had to work on himself, on their way to giving him tips on how to bring out his confidence, it didn’t make sense.
“I don’t know…I wanted to do it on my own terms. N-Not right now…She’s busy.”
“She’s networking.”
“I don’t want to pull her away to tell her how I feel…” The idea felt selfish. He didn’t want to be the one to tamper your fun night.
“Trust me, kid. You’d be doing her a favor. She’s miserable.” Bob turns, inspecting your joyous body language. If your discontent looked like you were happy, then so was he.
“Maybe we should wait-“
“Oh.” Walker draws their attention. Bob turns to him before looking back at you. “Trouble in paradise.” Walker quips, gesturing to the new fellow that caught their attention. Your smile disappears when you turn around to face the hand that tapped your shoulder.
“Who’s that?” Bob glances back at the troubled expression of his teammates. He rocks back and forth on his heels. Nervously waiting to know of the man, who brought you displeasure from what he could tell. He watches you shake your head no, turning and walking away from him and the group you mingled with. An unsettling torment rumbles in his chest, when the guy grabs your upper forearm, halting your retreat.
You quickly turn your head around; a quiet disagreement begins. A few other guests glance over at you both.
"Sadly that is Y/n's former partner. His name is Ryker Stride.” Bucky reveals the information about your ex-boyfriend that you failed to talk about. To him at least.
"I had no idea she was with someone…" Despite the fact that he didn't look like your ex, Bob couldn't help but let his wandering thoughts get the better of him. He felt insignificant compared to how Ryker held himself.
“They weren’t together for long, they hit month six before she ended things with him.”
“Is it ‘cause he’s an asshole?” He didn’t like the way he grabbed you. You pulled your hand back, before you walked away, Turning a corner out of sight.
“Unfortunately.” Bucky sighed. Walker watched the scene unfold, before an idea struck him.
“Go save her.” Walker urges, noticing Ryker following after you.
“What?”
“I didn’t stutter. Go!” Walker nudged him a few steps forward, but Bob only shakes his head.
“I-I don’t think it's a good idea…Walker, Yelena told me to not get into trouble before she left me here. I-“
“Oh my god! It’s not like you’re gonna kill the dude, you're just gonna follow them, make sure she’s okay. And if he so much lays a hand on her, then you slightly intervene, use a bit of that strength of yours to show him you don’t mess around when it comes to her. It’s completely harmless dominance. Show how much of a gentleman you are. Trust me, she’ll be kissing you by midnight, you’ll thank me later. Promise.“ Walker steps up to him, pats him on the chest.
“I don’t know…I think we should get Yelena. Get her opinion on this.” He reels into himself, not believing he could carry it all out. He was a gentleman, he thought so, so did Yelena and you, why would possibly getting a man’s hands off you further highlight the fact he’d never do such a thing as lay a hand on a woman. It felt risky…but was this the risk Yelena encouraged him to take things with you further?
“I think it could work.” Now Bucky, mauled it over.
“I don’t want to hurt anyone. It’s risky…” Bob kept insisting.
“No. It’s not. You should go save her.” Walker persisted. “This is your chance and you’re seriously not gonna take it?” He scoffs. “If you’re not gonna do it, then I will. The guy’s a prick anyway.”
Bob couldn’t believe what he was hearing. First, the guys suggested he should ask you to dance, and now they want him to barge in like some knight in shining armor? Did they seriously expect him to just waltz over to you, interrupt your conversation with your ex, and play the hero? But what really caught him off guard was the fact that he actually considered it. Sure, he didn't think much of your ex when he saw his hand on you, but to intervene?
Walker and Bucky continue to implore him, emphasizing the importance of this moment. Telling him to man up. He knew this was the opportunity to act, but as usual, his nerves get a hold of him. With a hesitant look at the super soldiers, he nods once and moves with small steps in the direction he saw you go.
-
Bob felt nervous when he came to a stop around the corner. Your anger evident with every grit of your teeth. It was daunting to see you so worked up. His brows furrow as he saw Ryker hold you in the exact same position.
You wished you hadn’t walked away from the crowd. Crowds kept you safe, they granted you witnesses if something were to happen to you. Much like so.
"Let go." You grit your teeth at the man preventing your exit.
"Let's talk about this-"
"There's nothing to talk about. I gave you your answer. I ended things with you for this exact reason. Your aggressive, abusive, and right now a real pain in my ass. If you can't be a grown-up about it, that's a personal issue. Not mine. Let go." Your voice lowers, firm in your conviction.
“No come on, give me a chance to explain myself. I told you I was going to work on myself-”
"Ryker if you don't take your goddamn hand off me so help me-"
Bob was torn from the sidelines. He understood it wasn’t his place to interfere, but his heart began to beat faster as the conversation between you and your ex grew more heated. He clenched and unclenched his hands, taking a few steps towards the altercation. He had to say something, but he also didn’t have a clue how to approach.
"She...She said let her go." A dark, low rumble emits behind you. The rasp in Bob's voice usually sent a tingling sensation down your spine, but upon seeing how intensely he glared at your ex, and the way his shoulders curled in around himself. It did nothing but give you goosebumps. Bob's gaze settled on his hand, the one currently leaving impressions of his fingers on your skin. Your gaze stays on him as you catch a flicker of amber in his eyes. No.
"She said, let go." Bob’s gestures with a pointed finger. A nervous laugh emits past his lips. It does nothing to ease the tension.
Ryker's hold on you tightens at Bob's words. The defiance in the man's demeanor only fueled his determination to maintain his grip. "Mind your business, freak. This doesn't concern you."
Your heart hammers as Bob’s eyes go full gold. “She said let go…”
You turn back to the stubborn fool with cogs and nuts for brains. "Ryker, let go of me now." You push against his hand, which doesn't let up at all. "Terco! Suéltame!" You curse at him. "You have a death wish. Surely, that’s the case!" You feign sudden revelation to his unrelenting grip. You shove against his chest, before looking back at Bob, exclaiming frantically. "Bob, I'm fine. Go find Yelena!"
"He's bruising you..." His gaze was unmoving from Ryker's grip. “He shouldn’t be hurting you.”
Bob steps to move closer, but your desperate attempt to keep him away from the impending situation stops him in place. His gaze flicks rapidly between Ryker’s tight hand on you and the sight of your growing distress.
"Bob, it's fine!" You curse under your breath, as you try to hide the pain you begin feeling, etching your features. "Ryker!" A disheartened chuckle slips past your lips, but it's not joyous. Bob didn't misplace your whine. "You're drunk, go home. You're making things worse-"
Ryker's grip on you persisted, his drunken state only fueling his stubbornness even more so. He ignored your attempt to diffuse the situation; a scoff left him. "The only one making things worse is this pri—" His words were slurred and then interrupted. Bob stuck a hand out before Ryker's grip lifted off of you, and then he flew towards Bob.
Bob didn't hesitate to grip the intoxicated man's neck.
"You were saying?" Bob's raspy growl was not missed.
Ryker croaks, his airway being cut off by Bob's hand around his throat. He tries to form words, but only a strangled gasp leaves him.
"Bob..." You step closer to them. His cerulean eyes meet yours, and a speck of hope fills you, thinking he's not far from being helped. "Bob, can we talk about this?"
His grip doesn't loosen on the guy. Bob's eyes are locked onto yours for a split second before returning to Ryker, the grip on his neck more harsh than what is necessary. His demeanor had changed; his usually soft-spoken words and timidness were gone. He stands straight, shoulders squared. A subtle but commanding aura emanated from him. He was losing an eternal fight that the eye couldn't see, but you saw the signs. His lack of empathy, dissolving, a rugged exterior slamming down like a shutdown protocol. You didn't like the man who wanted to take over.
"Bob?" Your heels click softly with each approaching step. "Listen I know Ryker's a piece of shit okay. It's why I broke up with him..." You put your hands out to show him you mean no harm. "I thought I wanted him gone at one point in my life too, but contemplating about the asshole in such a way didn't feel worth it anymore." Ryker pays you a glare. "Bob, he doesn't deserve one second of your time." Bob clenches his jaw as he peers down at your darkened marks. He twitches as he tries to think through his inner turmoil.
"No, no. He shouldn't have hurt you. He put his hands on you." Bob's voice cracks. "I don't like it when people hurt you..."
"Yeah, well, people do stupid things when they're drunk. He's an idiot." You give Bob a pained smile. "I'm fine. Nothing serious." He still had Ryker in his grip. The man was turning red.
"He-He deserves it." With one final tightening of his grip, Ryker falls limp. You barely register the crack, surely his neck. The sound haunts you as the hairs on your arms rise again.
You watch as Bob releases Ryker. The man flops to the ground, unmoving. Your heart picks up as you realize what he's done. Your eyes go wide before you swallow the lump in your throat. "Bob, you...Did you-"
Bob's gaze was locked on Ryker's unconscious form, and he finally turned to look at you, noticing you had backed up. A flicker of realisation passes across his expression at your reaction and withdrawal. Bob's gaze remains steady, his eyes devoid of the softness you're used to, replaced by something else. Hatred.
"He had it coming." Bob's tone is firm, his voice still hinting at his usual timidness, but tinged with a hardened edge. "He hurt you. What gives him the right to do that to you? To anyone? I did him a favor." He nods more to himself.
"You didn't need to kill him."
Bob's gaze intensifies as he keeps your gaze, the look unyielding. The gold in his eyes is more prominent now. The tension was dense, the moment hanging in the air, thick like fog. "He deserved it." Bob's tone, confident and cold. No remorse. "He hurt you."
"Oh my god…No it wasn’t necessary.." You release a sigh.. "H-He just held my wrist."
Bob's eyes narrow. He scoffs in disbelief. "And you were wincing, were you not?" He steps closer to you, closing the distance. You never liked his gold eyes. Not when he was looming over you.
You hold your head high, trying not to let your gaze waver from his intimidation. "I'm fine. Killing shouldn't have been your first choice. It never should result in death unless the situation requires it. I could have knocked him out, Bob..."
"Maybe you're too kind." The intensity in his gaze was unbroken. "Sometimes, people like him don't understand anything but violence."
"I don't think you do either..." You wished you could have taken it back the second the words fell past your lips. "I didn't mean that-" You close your eyes. Regret hitting you.
Bob recoils at your words, flinching as though you hit him. "I think you did." His gaze sharpens, hurt and confusion flashing across his features.
"No." You insist.
The intensity in his gaze doesn't let up, even as you try to retract your statement. "No. You did mean it." His tone is stern. Grim. It cuts through the air like a knife. "You think I'm as violent as him, is that it?"
You only keep shaking your head, even as he corners you against an adjacent wall. "No. I think-"
The weight of his body is imposing, shadows slowly casting over him starting from his shoes as he corrals you into the wall. His hands find the space beside your head, trapping you in as he leans in close, his voice low and sharp. “Why shouldn't I use my full potential, especially when a damsel is distressed? I'm strong, so why wouldn't I try to help someone in need? Though I'm starting to think this damsel wasn't worth the time or energy anymore. Since she's yet to thank me. I came here to save you from that asshole.”
Your lip trembles as you reach for your gun. You act fast on impulse. Switching the safety off your weapon with precision and speed before a shot rings out. Surely someone's heard it go off.
Bob's reaction was instantaneous as pure adrenaline surged through his veins. He acted on instinct, seizing your wrist in a firm grip. He holds your gun-wielding hand steady. The weapon was aimed at a spot just past his right ear. His voice is eerily calm. “You missed.”
Your outcry was real this time as the gun slipped out of your hand. Out of reach now. Bob held your wrist, much like Ryker had. Only this grip was severely cruel, whereas Ryker's was bruising you, Bob could easily break your wrist with slightly more pressure applied. "Y-You're hurting me-" You shove against his chest. He was unfazed by your attempts.
"And you were going to shoot me....God, why do we even keep you around?" Your eyes widen as the shadows reach up to his torso.
"'Cause I'm one of you..." You arguably strain.
He doesn't allow himself to give in to your words; he doesn't soften or falter. You press the left side of your face into the wall as he sneers and breaths heavily into your cheek. "You sure about that?" His tone was condescending. He pulls you into his chest, dragging you away before you know it.
-
A yell breaks out when you're thrown across the venue’s dance floor. Your body hits the ground roughly, sending you rolling before you stop face down into the ground. You lay there trying to gather your bearings.
He threw me! Your thoughts alert you.
"T-That hurt..." You mutter to yourself as you take note of the crowd, stepping back and away from the center. Separating a path as Bob, halfway transformed into Void, approaches with steady, slow footsteps.
"Y/n!" Yelena makes for you, but you shake your head.
"No, no, don't." You held your hand out, halting Walker and Yelena from approaching you. Your face fell when you noticed them reach for specific spots on their attire. Weapons. Hidden from wandering gazes. Had they anticipated this to happen? "Stay back!" You warn, pushing off the ground with shaken legs. Your chest rises and falls heavily, trying to push through the pain of being thrown like a rag doll.
"B-Bob stop!" You cry out, a rasp to your voice.
Bob's eyes remained fixed. Golden. The shadow within him, consuming his being. His expression was almost feral. He stops in front of you. He had no hesitation and no mercy. No, not for you. No more.
Bob watches you stumble forward with an unsettling lack of regard. Even though he had been rougher with you than he'd like, his demeanor didn't soften. He begins stepping towards you. "You're a drawback." His tone is harsh, lacking the usual warmth he holds towards you.
Your head falls into your shoulder, defeated and solemn, as Bob's demeanor doesn’t change. Black overshadows his delicate features. He is no longer the timid and awkward man you thought you knew. Now, he is Void—a twisted, broken force to be reckoned with. The two white dots for eyes stare back at you hauntingly.
No trace of warmth or familiarity in his eyes. Just a tormenting, head tilt directed at your vulnerable state. "A liability." His head tilts to the other side now.
Yelena steps closer to you. A hand was held out in front of her, ready to shove you behind her. She was all too familiar with the Void's dislike for you. He hadn't been too kind to you in your shame rooms. Giving you hell the most when the group rejoined in the attic. He hated you, hated how you made things quiet for Bob. You provided a sense of comfort and a safeguard for him to fall back on. Void wanted you gone. Now more so than ever.
"Bob?" Yelena gives it a go before she reaches for you.
Instantly, you're yanked by your wrist, slamming into his chest, forcing you to meet his menacing stare. You watch his wickened grin grace you, the white dots for his eyes reflecting the sliver of hope within him. Barely there.
"No!"
"Let her go!"
"Bob, let her go!"
"Bob, if you can hear me. Stop this!"
Multiple safety clicks are echoed all around the room. You turn briefly, locking eyes with Ava, Yelena, and Walker, directing their pistols' ends towards the shadow man. Bucky is on standby with his weapon of choice. You lock eyes with him, shaking your head. Their hesitance to shoot is noticeably painful.
"You can't be trusted." Void continues speaking slowly, calculatingly, each word falling heavy and deliberate, as the shadows consume you from your heels. "You act impulsively based on your emotions. You're a waste of time. You're only making him weaker."
The shadows wrap around your ankles, coiling around them, consuming them in darkness. You feel the shadows creep up your legs, snaking their way up your body, now to the halfway point of your waist. It didn't take a genius to know what was happening. "Then get it over with already..."
He chuckles darkly before you see your friends and various guests begin being turned into shadows. Void's gaze flickers around the room. People start to scream and flee, while others begin to try to fight back. He remains unfazed by the panic as he lifts you to his eye level, the shadows reaching your chest now. "You don't matter...you never will." You release a gasp, your eyes closing as the shadows curl over your head like a hoodie. Then your body's gone from his grasp. No shadow in sight.
-
Bob sat up, startled. His eyes snapped open, his breathing heavy and ragged as he shook his head and ran frantic fingers through his now messy curls. His heart raced in his chest. "What..." He muttered, trying to shake the remnants of the horrid nightmare from his mind.
"Bob?" He whips his head up fast, causing him a sudden dizzy spell, before he locks eyes with Yelena on the ground. He begins to register not only her disheveled state but also various other bodies, sitting up from the ground as well.
"What the hell..." Ava curses as she goes to stand. Yelena followed suit, as shadows started to disperse from each figure that had stood in the room a while ago.
"What happened here?" Bob, nervous, stood up, trying to find his bearings.
"Great, you don't remember."
Bob's confusion grows as he takes in the sight of everyone around him. He rubs his temples, trying to make sense of what's happening. "I...I don't know..." He shakes his head, feeling dazed and disoriented. "I was... dreaming, I think. It was a nightmare. But, I can't remember much."
"It's fine, Bob." Yelena waves him off.
Bob rubs his hands over his face, trying to shake off the remnants of his nightmare. The group is gathered in the venue, their surroundings in disarray. Chairs toppled, tables were knocked over, and the floor was littered with shattered glass. "What happened here?" He asks again, taking in the state of the room.
"Void." Bucky sighed.
Bob's heart sinks at the mention of Void. He knew all too well the damage and chaos the other guy brought with him. "Void did this?"
"Yeah..." Walker nods. "But from the looks of it, you only maintained it here, so I call progress." Bob was lost.
"I did? I don't remember anything. I only remember seeing Y/n talking to that Ryker guy, before everything got fuzzy again."
The mention of your name had them freezing. Yelena looked to him before her body swirled around in search of you. Yelena's eyes widen with realization.
"Y/n... Where's Y/n?" The room falls silent as they begin to realize the absence of your presence in the venue.
"What's with the long faces?" Bob wrings his hands together, not understanding the concerned glances everyone threw his way. He turns his head like they do, eyes darting around, falling onto multiple strange faces, searching but never really finding what they looked for. "What's wrong?... Where's Y/n?" His body tenses, dread seeping in.
"What do you mean, where is she?" Yelena's heart plunges. "Bob?" She inched closer, trying to get a read on him. "D-Do you remember anything?"
"No, I told you all that I know. I saw Ryker with Y/n before everything got dark." Bob glanced over to Walker and Ava's hardened gazes. He curled in on himself. He didn't need to be a genius to know something was wrong and that he was at fault. "W-What do you mean? Where is she?"
"Alright, kid, quit messing around. Where'd she go? We all came back, so why didn't she?" Walker rolled his eyes, not in the mood for his oblivious antics. "Where is she, Bob?"
"I-I don't know where Y/n is? What did I do?" Bob frantically shrugs his shoulders.
"No." Dread fell over Yelena's face. "No, no, no." Yelena cupped her stomach.
Bob noticed Yelena's expression, confusion etched on his face, "W-What's going on? What did I do?"
The group looked at him in pity, their faces riddled with worry, fear, and confusion—all except Bucky, who remained silent and stoic. Everyone waited for Yelena to speak. Yelena's voice was shaky, her words softly spoken.
"You didn't do anything." Yelena's eyes started to water, her body trembling. "No..." She looked around the room once more. Nothing. "Okay...Okay. How do we get her back?" She highlighted.
"Get her back?" Bob shook his head.
"You're asking us?" Bucky pointed to himself. "How would we know?" He perplexes.
"I...I don't know!" Yelena's breathing grew ragged, on the verge of tears. She blew raspberries. "She can't be gone...we all came back, there's that!"
"Yeah, but she didn't." Walker voiced everyone's dread. His tone grew sharp and impatient. He pointed to Bob, "Why is that Bob? Why didn't she return like the rest of us?"
"Surely there's some reasonable explanation for this-" Ava tried leveling the situation.
Bob's expression turned somber, his eyes darting to each person searching for an answer. He stuttered, "I...I don't know why. I swear, I don't know. I...I'd never ever hurt her, I promise. I'd never hurt her."
Yelena's voice was shaky, her words barely above a whisper. "We know you wouldn't, but she's gone. Maybe still in the Void, and we need to get her back."
"The question is how, though?" Walker queried.
Yelena shrugged, her eyes reddened and puffy. "I got nothing...." Everyone remained quiet.
Bob wrung his hands together before a suggestion conjured up in his mind. "W-What if you knock me out?"
The group froze, all turning to look at him in disbelief.
"What?" Yelena furrowed her brows, confused by his reasoning.
Ava chimes in, disagreeing. "That doesn't even sound plausible."
Walker let out a scoff. "Knock you out? Are you out of your mind? What good would that do for us?"
"We risk the Void escaping again!" Alexei voiced his concern. "It is a no from me!"
"Sorry, it was just an idea. I thought it could work- Sorry." Bob shakes his head, letting his head fall to the ground again. Bucky, the more level-headed of the group, weighs the idea before speaking.
"Bob..." Bucky steps forward, his gaze fixed on the distressed male. "What do you mean by that? Why do you suggest that we knock you out?"
A spark of hope ignites behind his eyes. Someone's taking a chance on his idea. Bob nods before saying, "Maybe if you guys knock me out. I could find her...in here." He peers up through his lashes at the soldier, gesturing to his temple. "It was just an idea..."
Bucky's gaze remains locked on Bob, contemplating his proposal. Yelena moves from her spot, placing her hand on Bucky's arm. "Bucky, you can't be serious."
"You got a better plan… We don't have anything to go from. It's better than nothing. It could work..." Bucky shrugs at Bob, who straightens. Bob stares at Bucky, surprised that he was on board with it. He turned to the others, waiting for their opinions.
"But how can you know for certain... that it will work?" Yelena counters.
"It's a stupid idea," Ava mutters, shaking her head.
"Alright, how hard do I have to hit him?" Walker begins removing his blazer, rolling his white dress shirt up to his elbows.
"Woah woah woah! Let's think this through, there are other ways we can do this!" Yelena cuts in frantically.
"She's right, punching him won't phase him."
"Then how the hell are we supposed to knock him out?" Walker complained.
"You could..." Bob swallowed back a lump. "You could choke me..."
Ava whips her head over to Walker's baffled gaze. She nudges him with a shit eating grin. "Choke him!" She urges.
Bucky places his hands on his hips, and a heavy sigh leaves him. "You sure about this, Bob?"
A mixture of nervousness and determination washes over Bob's face. Bob nods, trying to seem brave. "Yeah...I'm sure. I have to try…For her. I wouldn't be able to live with myself, you know?" He lets out a faint laugh, but his smile only lasts a few seconds.
A grimace is on Yelena's face as she watches the scene begin to unfold. Bucky places a firm hand on Bob's shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “Don’t kill him, Walker. Do it quickly, just enough to make him unconscious. Got it?”
Walker shakes his head. "I can't believe I'm doing this." He approaches Bob, hesitant about his decision. He grabs Bob’s forearm before making him turn around. His back now faces him. "Sorry in advance, kid..." Walker swallows hard before he wraps his arms around Bob’s shoulders. It's not long before his arms tighten around his neck. Bob protests, raising his hands to where Walker's hold reduces his oxygen. He knew he had to give in, for your sake, but he'd be lying if he said the whole plan was terrifying.
Bob tries to resist even as he meets Yelena's pained expression. Bucky's head turns away so as not to look, but he thinks twice before looking back, to be there as his source of comfort as he starts tapping against Walker’s arms.
"You'll be fine, kid. Just relax, alright? Don’t fight it." Bucky tries to reassure him. Bob feels the pressure build up in his head and lets out a gasp before he nods. His eyes flicker back and forth between gold and blue. His throat feels like it's being crushed, not the most pleasant thing he's experienced, but what's worse is the way Yelena is watching him. Not at all okay with this. She never liked seeing him hurt.
His eyes meet Yelena's, and her eyes are filled with dread. He manages to mouth his words with a weak smile. I’ll. Find. Her.
Bob's eyes start fluttering. His expression starts drooping as he's on the verge of passing out.
The world blurs as he starts to feel the rush; his head starts pounding. Then his surroundings turn dark. The pressure becomes too intense, and he goes limp. His body falls into Walker’s arms. Walker sighs, letting his arms unravel from his neck before he walks backwards, gently laying the man on the floor. He stays crouched next to him, hating this more than anything. “Now what?”
"We wait." Yelena chimes in solemnly. Grabbing a discarded chair, planting it before her unconscious friend, and plopping herself down on it. “And hope this work.”
-
Bob didn’t know how long he had been roaming through his shame rooms before a particular doorway appeared. The brown door, sticking out like a sore thumb from the white walls of his childhood home, his shame room, where his dad was screaming at him, asking him where he was going. He gave his father one more glance before he rushed towards it. Opening and slamming it shut behind it. But as he put his force behind the shove. The door itself caught on the doorframe. He tried again, but it wouldn’t budge, leaving behind the hope that it would close, but a thin space between the doorframe and the door prevented its enclosure.
“It doesn’t close…The floor is sunken there.” A high-pitched voice raises the hairs on the back of his neck. He pushes himself from the door before he swivels in place. A small child greets him on the floor.
"Y/n?" Bob inched closer to what he presumed to be your younger self. You were donning a pink and purple sweater, a sequined puppy plastered on the front of it. A few sequins turned over like you had run your hand across them. Black leggings worn out and fuzzy purple socks on your feet. A mirror of your adolescence.
Your younger self looks up as he approachs. He met her gaze before she pointed to the other end of the room. “She’s over there.”
He swiveled around, scoping the room's entirety, until his gaze settled on his goal. His search concluded as he saw you curled underneath a desk. His shoulders slumped at the sight. Your face was dazed, staring straight ahead. Eyes barely blinking. You, too, donned the puppy sweater and leggings. Different from your dress, which you looked lovely in tonight.
You hadn't even bothered to acknowledge his presence as your younger self kept trying to build a puzzle laid out before her. An image of a snowman, in a forest surrounded by trees. A few pieces were chipped, and one, unbeknownst to him, was missing, lost, meaning you'd never fully complete it over the years of trying to, in this room.
"Y-Y/n." He reveled in saying your name out loud.
"I don't want to talk to anyone." Bob turned to look back at the child, placing another piece in its correct spot.
Bob crouched down to be eye level with you under the desk. He held his breath, waiting for any sort of reaction. For a flash of recognition, but there was nothing. No response.
"I-I didn't mean for you to be trapped in here." His voice shook.
Bob's expression twisted into one of deep regret. He reached out to touch your knee but stopped himself, his hand hovering a few inches above as it trembled. His gaze flitted to your younger self. She seemed focused on the puzzle piece in her hand, utterly oblivious to his internal torment. The sight only intensified his agony.
"I–" He opened his mouth to reply, perhaps to reassure you, but no words were forthcoming. "C-Can I join you?" Bob fell back on his bottom and gestured gently to the center. Your younger self looked up.
"Sure." She barely peers up at him, unbothered by his request, but holds out a piece to include him all same.
Bob accepts the piece, his fingers lightly brushing against hers as he takes it. He turns it over in his grasp, examining the surface of it before looking back at the puzzle. He slides his piece into place, his movements careful but precise, ensuring a perfect fit.
"Thanks." He murmurs, his gaze drifting back to your younger self. He swallows hard, his jaw clenching as if chewing on words he couldn’t quite muster. He lets something out for now. "I've never been good at these..." Bob confesses, "Could never finish them. Sit still."
"It's okay...We've never finished this one, but we keep trying to." The child's disheartened smile makes him want to break down.
Bob nods curtly, his throat tight. The sight of your indifference nearly unravels him. He turns his attention back to the puzzle, trying to ground himself in its simple but comforting task. He picks up another piece, turns it over.
"I’m... I can't-" Bob stops short, clearing his throat as it threatened to close up. He tries again. "I can't believe I did this to you." He whispers, more to himself than anything. "I wish I had more control over my powers. I could have saved you the pain."
"We're not mad at you for it. We promise." Your younger self reassures. Handing him another piece after placing another perfect fit down.
Bob's breath hitches in his chest. Your reassurance is like a balm to his wounded soul. Hearing those simple words from you, from her, eases some of the guilt that has been consuming him. He accepts another piece from you, gently placing it into the puzzle again.
"You… You should be." He mutters, his voice barely more than a hoarse whisper. "I put you in here." His gaze flicks back to her face, taking in her innocence, how calm she remains. It's infuriating. Why are you not raging at him? Shouting? He deserves it.
"The Void put us here." You corrected him. "What's being upset over it gonna accomplish?" Your younger self hovers her hand over a certain area; uncertainty flashes behind her eyes. You're hesitant. Bob, conflicted, reaches forward and guides her small hand over to a spot he thinks it will fit. It does. "Thanks." She’s appreciative before enthusiastically grabbing another, ready to advance in the puzzle's completion.
Bob's heart clenches as you respond rationally. It's eerily shocking how mature you are for your age. The way you forgive so easily is at odds with the guilt he feels. Yet, somehow, your words have an undeniable power over him. He can feel the grip of the Void's hold on him loosen ever so slightly. He helps you slide in the next piece as it clicks into place. Your giggle warms his heart. The corners of his lips curl up at the sound.
"How can…. How can you be so calm about this?" Bob can't help but ask, his voice tinged with disbelief mixed with awe.
"I-I have to..." Your younger self falters. Her composure glitched before she blinked and continued as if nothing had happened. She avoided his gaze, looking back down at the puzzle. "We have to be. Otherwise, what comes next would be unbearable."
Bob's brow creases with concern at the glitch. A ripple in your memory, the imposed calmness that he couldn't miss, faltering. The way you had been referring to yourselves as we, never as I. He was getting somewhere. At least he hoped he was.
"What…" He hesitates, but curiosity gets the better of him. "What's coming next?"
"Ya estoy harta!" Your younger self flinches as a glass breaks in the distance. "Vete con tus pinche putas! Ya no me importa! Largarte! Largarte!"
"Ya no puedo! Ya basta. Pinche loca ya no puedo!"
Bob immediately tenses, ready to protect you and your younger self from whatever threat looms, but as the shouting continues in the distance, he recognises something familiar in the language. Spanish.
"Is... Is that...?" He whispers, knowing the answer but hoping he's wrong.
"S-Spanish." Your body convulses and twitches as the vulgar language is spoken. Feeling gross. You try to block them out, pausing your puzzle making, your hands harshly slammed against your ears. Tears form in your eyes as the screams only continue. You run over to the door, banging and kicking it. The kick makes the door widen, before you push against it.
"Shut up!" Bob flinches as your small body screeches. "Shut up! Ya cállate!" Your outcry only intensified. Your body shaking with sobs. "Shut up! Shut up!" You turn the lock, knowing it serves no real purpose. Your bedroom door barely closed. The doorframe stopped it from entirely shutting. You've never been able to lock it, not once. You turned and walked over to a corner where a dresser sat. You go to push it until it starts sliding across the floor. Pushing with everything you had in your tiny body, until it sat in front of the door. Blocking them from entering. You didn't want them near you. You kick the wall next to it in anger. To have them hear just how upset they made you. Hoping your meltdown would cause them to stop, to see how much they’re hurting you. You go far as to grab something heavy launching it into the wall too. The bang as agressive as your parents anger.
It's not long before you move to where you remain under the desk. Your younger self crawls underneath with you. Scooting herself next to you as your older self ticks and shivers at the language exchanged. Your younger self cups her ears and lets out an ear-piercing scream. All the while, yourself sheds a tear. It's only then that he finally gets a real reaction from you. You turn to your younger self wanting to save her the pain. You wrap an arm around her and tuck her in close to your side.
Bob is frozen in place as the scene unfolds before him. The sheer desperation in your voice is gut-wrenching; you just want it to stop. He watches with staggered breaths as your younger self curls into you. The shouting and screaming continue in the background.
He wants to move, to grab the dresser and shove it through the wall, to put an end to the shouting and the pain taking place on the other side of that door. But he remains where he is, watching yourself try to help your younger self find solace. His eyes dart to the blocked door, listening to the muffled yelling from outside. He grits his teeth, anger bubbling within him.
When he turns back to look at you both. Your younger self is nowhere to be found beside you. "Here!" His head turns to the child sitting before him again on the floor. Another puzzle piece was offered to him once again.
How long did you relive this before he got here? The memory had reset again, he realized.
Bob's hands tremble as he gradually accepts the puzzle piece. Peering down at the upright face, snow-like texture painted on the piece to help him determine where it could go. He stares at it, guilt slowly seeping into his bones as he lifts his head to watch your younger self concentrate on the image the pieces were curating.
"How...How many times has she-you-" Bob can't even fathom how long you've been sitting under your desk, to appear so numb to everything. "How long have you been in here?"
"This is loop ten." Younger you, spares him a pinched grin. It doesn't reach her eyes.
Bob's stomach churns at the revelation. Loop ten? You've had to face this same scene ten times over, stuck in an endless cycle. He wants to scream, to tear everything apart, to make it stop. But he can't. He's just a participant in this twisted nightmare. His eyes shift between the puzzle and your younger self, his guilt weighing heavily on his shoulders, but he'd be damned if he didn't try. He had to try; this was you he was talking about. You'd done so much for him; he owed you that much. To push past how scared he was of screwing things up even more.
Your younger self looks up, halting her movements. "I-I can't finish it." You finally refer to yourself in first person. You look down at the puzzle. "I just wanna finish it."
"You want to finish the puzzle?" Bob questions, his words tinged with both confusion and understanding. He glances at the puzzle, taking in the incomplete image. It's beautiful in its own way, even without all the pieces. But the thought of you stuck in this repetitive loop, trying to complete it, it's unbearable. "You... You don't have to finish it." He says softly, his hand hovering over yours, unsure if he can even change your mind within the confines of this memory.
"I want to." Hope. A small spark ignites within Bob as your younger self expresses her determination. He picks up on the subtle changes in your expressions, the way your younger self glitches and gives way to glimpses of your older self. He clings onto this as a sign of change, that he can somehow alter this loop.
His back straightens. He looks back at you under the desk. You were still there, but a sliver of hope had him realizing you wanted to crawl from underneath there. "I... I get close, and then I never do. There's always a piece missing." The child's brows furrow with frustration. You go to place the remaining six pieces before pulling your hands into your lap.
"Missing piece?" His eyes flick back to the puzzle, taking in the image, searching for what could be amiss. Then there it is, the center spot, vacant. His gaze darts around the room. "Maybe it's somewhere else? In a drawer? Or under the bed?" He muses, his mind racing with possibilities, until the screams of your parents have him glancing at the door. He glances down at you, then at you under the desk.
"Hey!" You peer up at him. "Just... Just focus on me. Listen to my voice…not theirs. Okay?" With labored breaths, his grin grows as he tries to reassure you from the shouting behind the door. "Where would you look first?" Your younger self gets up and heads for the door, when suddenly you appear criss-crossed before him. His eyes widened, trying to gain your attention this time. "Y/n? Hey!" He exclaims, reaching forward, touching your shoulders. "Hey. Hi, oh my god hi!" You turn back to face him after having peered over at the door.
"B-Bob?" Your voice croaks.
"Yes!" Bob lets out a sigh of relief. He can't help the small laugh that escapes his lips. "Yes, it's me. Me Bob. That's me!" He gives a firm nod, still holding onto your shoulders. He leans down to meet your gaze. "I'm so sorry. The team told me what happened and how Void got out and ruined everything. How everyone came back, but you never did. I... I should've stayed home. I knew it was a bad idea to go to that gala, but the team insisted, you insisted, on getting me out of the tower, and...I screwed everything up again. Like I always do. But I'm here. I'm here and I want to make things right. I'm gonna get you out of here." His conviction bled through.
Your eyes glisten. You looked so small compared to the confidence you carried around him and the others earlier in the evening. You flinch, glancing over your shoulder as another vulgar word reaches your ears. "D-Don't listen to them." Bob turns your chin back over to him.
Bob forces a pinched smile as your attention returns to him. He squeezes your shoulders, his fingers gently kneading into your flesh, trying to ground you. "You want to finish this puzzle…We'll finish it." He says firmly, his eyes never leaving your face.
You muster a nod before looking at the blank spot, mocking you from its completion. Bob pulls back. Your younger self begins screaming and pushing the dresser towards the door. Your eyes close as a tick rakes through you. Bob takes note of your reaction, how the side of your ear hit your shoulder blade. Your younger self finishes under the desk, before she appears beside you and Bob. The puzzle resets back to its previous state of incompleteness once again.
Loop eleven.
He shifts his eyes down to your hands, something you twirled around mindlessly, catching his attention. His brows furrow as he reels in the object you acquired, the thing you fiddle with, it was the piece you needed to finish the puzzle.
You had it this whole time. His eyes soften.
"It seems almost selfish..." You concur.
His mouth parts as the realization dawns on him. "You..." Bob whispers, his words lost in awe. "You had it this whole time?" His gaze switches from the piece in your hand back to your face.
Your younger self's determination and stubbornness faded, replaced by the realization that you were holding onto the very thing you sought all along. He's struck by the simplicity yet irony of it all. You were so close to finishing the puzzle, but blinded by what was literally in your hands to do it. He shifts and turns to your younger self, peering up at you, expression expectant, waiting, filled with melancholy. She goes back to adding the six final pieces again.
"This stupid piece…That I could never find. I threw the puzzle away when I couldn’t finish it. It’s so stupid…"
Bob looks at the puzzle piece, a mix of emotions roiling within him. He feels a pang of guilt, knowing how long you'd been trapped here, the endless loop of trying to finish the puzzle without realizing you possessed the very thing needed to complete it. Your younger sits back, wringing her hands together, a mirror of his timidness. It brought him a sense familiarity, something he weighed on now, that you both had something in common. He reaches out, gingerly taking your younger self's hand, before looking back at you.
"It's not stupid." He reassures you. "Sometimes… we search for things so hard we forget to look in simple places." He pauses, his gaze lingering.
Your inner turmoil was evident. You dig a hand into a side pocket of your sweater, he hadn't known was there. "It was in my pocket..." You scoff. Shaking your head. "This whole time!"
Bob watches you, the realization settling in for both your younger and older selves. Younger you then mirrors your actions, stuffing her hand in the pockets, only to pull them out and be left empty handed. It was a poignant moment. "You-" Bob can't even finish the sentence, words momentarily lost on him. It was so simple.
Bob couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, a bittersweet sound. The absurdity of the situation wasn't lost on him. You had been carrying the solution to your problem all along, hidden in your pocket. He shook his head, his expression a mix of disbelief and amazement. "I-I once lost my phone…It was in my hand the entire time." A lopsided grin took over his features. ”Though I’m pretty sure it was the meth that hindered my senses from realizing it was there the whole time...” He trails off, noting that his attempt to offer a similar experience did nothing to comfort you.
"It’s not the same…" You shake your head.
Bob breathes a faint laugh at your pouting, the sound of it reverberating across the room, a stark contrast to the ongoing shouting and aggression outside the room. "I think...I think you'll be okay." He chides gently, trying to bring light to the situation.
“How do you know that?”
“‘Cause you guys helped me…Help me still.” He corrects
Your hesitance was not lost on him. You peer up through your eyelashes, then back down to the piece. "What if this doesn't fix anything?"
Bob pauses as he takes in your question. The weight of it hangs in the air, his earlier optimism faltering for a moment. Hearing your apprehension only solidified the concern. Bob's smile fades into a serious expression. He takes in your younger self’s small form, then to you, the way your shoulders are slumped, and the anxiety settled in your eyes. "I don't know if it will." He admits earnestly, his voice soft. "I just...I just really, really hope it does. It has to."
"Is this all it takes…To just fix it?" You twirl the piece around mindlessly. "This single piece my ticket to getting out of here?"
Bob looks at you, really looks at you. The piece of paper board between your fingers spinning in a rhythmic motion, your eyes filled with a mix of peace and anguish. He sees the way your breathing picks up and the way your eyes dart around the room. He can see how much this effects you, the battle between your logical side and the part of you that's been trapped here for who knows how long, trying to meet in the middle. Conclude a final resolution.
"I...I don't know." He replies eventually. He tries. "I...I mean, you all saved me with a hug." He laughs, its nervous but light, then lets it die out. Bob wants to reassure you, to tell you that this piece will fix everything, but he can't because he's never been great at it. You were the one always putting him back together. You always had the right thing to say and knew when to apply it in your heart to hearts. "So what's to say you can't be fixed by a puzzle piece?"
"Just like that?"
Bob nodded. "Just like that." He affirmed. He knows the simplicity of it, the absurdity, the notion of such a simple thing being the key to your liberation, could probably be seen as laughable. But he didn't see it as such, it might’ve been laughable—yes, but it wasn’t to him. Hope flared in him, a spark of optimism that the solution was so simple, so ridiculously easy. "Yeah…just like that." He repeated, his voice resolute, putting your worries and fears to rest.
"Just like that..." You shed a tear, echoing his words. You take a deep breath, hearing your parents argue once more before you reach forward and place the piece in the center. Your body convulses as you begin to sob hysterically, your younger self sighing as you finish it for once. Bob's lip trembles as he pulls you into his chest.
He holds you tightly, your body trembling against his. His grip is firm yet gentle, a silent reassurance that he's there. His heart aches as he listens to your sobs. The sobs wrack your frame as your emotions come out, a tidal wave of relief and frustration breaking through the surface after what feels like a lifetime. He rubs small circles on your back, whispering soothing words into your hair, as his own eyes glisten with unshed tears.
"I’m sorry I put you in here. I’m sorry." He whispers into your hair. "It's okay. I've got you. I-I got you."
-
“Guys.” Walker alerted the team as a shadow appeared beside Bob’s body—a dark silhouette, mirroring your form.
The team looked over, frozen at the shadow's sudden appearance. Bucky took a cautious step forward, and Yelena rose from her chair.
It felt like you had woken up from a deep slumber when you came to. Everyone watched as your tar-like self was slowly revealing itself, like a sheet unveiling you. The shadows released you, shedding away from your form down to your heels. A sigh escaped from you as you pushed against the floor. Your dress draped around you like a blanket as you peered up at your team and the guest who lay witness. You hear a grunt to your right, you turn and watch Bob come to as well. His eyes were trying to settle amongst the warm lighting surrounding the gala. His suit was wrinkled and left in disarray as he sat up. Yelena's heels clicked closer as she reached down to help you stand. "Oh my god!" She pulled you in closer for a hug. You were still finding your bearings. "Thank god. I thought we lost you!" You peer over to see Bob take Bucky's arms appreciatively.
Bucky pulls Bob to his feet, and a sigh of relief leaves him as he sees him finally become aware of his surroundings. He pats Bob on the back a few times, his grip on his palm tight.
"I knew you could do it, buddy." Bucky greets him with a small smile, his expression slightly worried as he observes his disheveled appearance.
"Thank you?" Bob blinks a couple of times, a forced smile on his face, before it fades. "Do what exactly?"
"You don't remember-" Bucky confirms. "You brought Y/n back from the-" Bucky's words were interrupted by the touch of Alexei's grasp on his upper arm and the sound of Walker's words.
"Bucky...Let's debrief him later. Not right now." He suggested. "She's back and safe. We'll deal with it at home. Not here."
"Is everything okay?" Bob's gaze flickers over to see you surrounded by Yelena and Ava. They were checking you over, making sure everything was okay.
Were you hurt?
He looks back at Bucky, his expression hardening. "I brought Y/n back from what?"
"Not here, kid." Walker reached forward to pat his shoulder. "You did great, that's all that matters-" Walker inhales deeply as Bob's hand tightened around his wrist.
"Don't- Don't call me kid." Bob closes his eyes, his irritation getting the better of him as his eyes glow amber for a split second. He gestures a pointed finger at Walker. "From what?"
Alexei steps forward, placing a gentle hand on Bob’s tense shoulders. "Easy there." He cautiously speaks. "Everything is fine now."
Bob's face remains stern, his gaze steady, irritation clear in his expression. "Tell me."
Walker and Bucky exchanged a worried look, both of them noticing the change in Bob's demeanor. "Not now," Walker repeated, his voice firmer this time, his grip on Bob's hand that held his wrist, not letting up either. Bob sensed the clear indication that Walker wasn't going to elaborate, not in the middle of this venue. The commotion from earlier was probable cause for them to high-tail it out of there. Bob’s stubbornness didn’t help their favor.
Bucky leaned in, his tone low, hoping to diffuse the situation. He closed his eyes before giving in. "Look, Void got loose, okay? Something happened. Everyone came back, Y/n didn't." Bob's grip falters, his eyes softening at the information. "Later, okay? We'll explain everything later. But we should probably leave, head home."
"What do you mean she didn't come back?" Bob's confusion only grows. His eyes shifted over to where you were reassuring people that you were fine, who asked if you needed a doctor.
"No, no. I'm okay. Really." He heard your voice bellow out from the short distance between you.
Bob couldn't help but watch as you shook your head, waving off any worried busybodies, and he found himself torn. Part of him wanted to let it go, to leave it be as Bucky and the others insisted. But there was another part of him that yearned to understand. He couldn't leave without answers. He pushed against Bucky's arm, which was trying to ground him.
"Yelena-Yelena!" He called out to her. She waved off another guest, who couldn't mind their business.
“Yes, yes, fine. All is good and well now.”
"Oh my god, what a mess! Is she okay?" Valentina's voice became apparent. Where did she come from? "Y/n, dear, the second you don't feel like yourself, say when. I got medical on call, alright."
"Oh no, I'm fine. I don't need a medic to come-"
"Oh my god, Valentina. She's fine. I promise. Don't intervene." She grew annoyed with Valentina's facade of sudden concern. She wasn't worried about your well-being, just worried about maintaining your image in the public's eye. Valentina continued with her rambling about how much she cared and would prefer it if you were checked over. "Oh my god, we don't need a medic here, ТЫ УПРЯМЫЙ МУЛ!" Yelena cursed. Who knows how Valentina would settle this mess with the press? She double-takes at the sound of her name being called before her attention settles on Bob's concerned one.
"Is she okay?" He mouths.
"She's fine," She waves him off. "Promise." She then nods before rolling her eyes as Valentina rants about having let him out of the house. He reciprocates her nod before his shoulders relax briefly at her assurance, his worry slightly lessened. But something still gnawes at him. His gaze drifts over to you again, his expression turning solemn as he sees the fake smiles and the feigned concern that some are displaying. You didn’t need their fake niceties.
His gaze lingers on you, trying to garner any sign that you weren't fine, but it wasn’t long before you locked eyes.
You catch his gaze, then begin excusing yourself from the small crowd, as a sense of anxiety overcomes you.
"Excuse me-" You politely muttered as you made your way toward him. It was as if a gravitational pull was urging you to him. The room, the people, everything else faded into the background as your focus solely centered on him.
Bob straightens at your approach, taken aback as you nestle yourself into his chest, your arms wrapping around him.
Startled, he initially freezes for a few seconds before his body relaxes, molding into you. His arms naturally encircle your form, pulling you into a tight embrace, his chin perched on top of your head. Your scent and warmth enveloped him, a sense of comfort washing over him. You felt like home.
"Hi…" Bob's voice, a soft whisper, reached your ears as he greeted you. You feel his hands mold more firmly around your waist, a gesture that makes your heart skip.
"Hi..." You return the greeting, your own voice just as soft, finding solace in the familiar sound of his breaths. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah..." His response short. “Are you okay?" He emphasizes, a hand gently stroking your exposed back.
"I'm fine." You wave it off.
Bob's eyebrow raises, his expression doubtful as he peers down at you. "You sure...?" He questions further, knowing you're prone to downplaying. But so was he.
“Yes and no.” A nervous laugh resounded from you.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” He offers, even though he’s not sure what he’s saving you from. He’s caught glimpses of your past before, not that you’d ever truly forego the idea of talking to him about it. He was much alike you in the manner of only giving surface levels of his ugly past. You both only knew what you allowed to be seen.
“You did. You helped me.” Your words, their simplicity, but all the more effective, affectionate, sure. He helped you? How could he have helped you, but have no recollection of it? You smile sweetly as you reach to place a kiss on his cheek. Was this your thankfulness wrapped up in an act of endearment? “You might not remember it, but you were enough, and you were there." You nod suringly.
He looks at the way you're molded against his chest. How his hands fit and embrace your figure like he's ready to protect and shield you from harm's way. The way your softened eyes perceive him in this lightheartedness. Like he's somehow hung the stars in your night sky. He can't help but wonder what he's done. What he's done to be truly worth being perceived delicately. You look like you're scared he'll disappear right before your eyes, when he's the scared one, thinking you'll break under his touch.
"Bucky’s saying Void got out again..." He looks down between your bodies. "I should have stayed home- I made everything worse-"
"You did nothing wrong, okay." You reach up, cupping his face gently, lifting his chin so he'd meet your gaze. "You did nothing wrong." You insist. He places his palms over your hands. Leaning into the warmth your touch brings him.
“I remember him..." He nods at his sudden recollection. It comes to him in bits and pieces. "Ryker." His hands slide up your wrist to the purple indentations marring your wrist, contrasting your skin's original shade. He opens his eyes, hoping he's wrong when he peers at the discoloration. But your hurt wrist only brings forth the truth. Telling him everything he didn’t want to be true. He feels guilty for even letting the asshole execute the action, he tries to conjure up ways he can make the injury vanish. Would a kiss heal your wounds? Take away his mistakes? He opted not to, but he was tempted to do so. "He bruised you." He nods, firm and sure.
"Bruises fade, Bob." There you go again, downplaying someone's unforgiving behavior.
"A bruise might...The memories won't." You shake your head at his trepidation. "Why didn't you fight him? You...You're capable of defending yourself?" Bob looks into your eyes.
"I didn't want to escalate the situation..." You shrug dismissively..
"But he hurt you? He hurt you, and I couldn't stop him in time, I-" He pauses, when it hits him like a tidal wave. The way various shouts echo through his head. Your voice bellowing in anguish. A flash of your face painted with pain.
You had been thrown across the center of the venue's dance floor. You rolled and then landed awkwardly on your stomach. Your once neat hairdo was disheveled in your sudden state. You pushed up with your heels and palms.
"Y/n!" Yelena made for you, but you shook your head.
"No, no, don't." You held your hand out, halting Walker and Yelena from approaching you. "Stay back!" You warned.
"B-Bob stop!" You cry out, a rasp to your voice.
"I hurt you..." Bob's eyes widen in fear. He tries to pull your hands away from his face. It was as though he were the Flint Striker and you were the one caught on fire. He was burning you. "No, no, no..." His eyes close as he gently grips your palms and lowers them to your waist. You didn't want to let him go. "I make everything worse. I should have stayed home- I didn't mean to hurt you-"
"Bob." You begin your reasoning. “No, I’m fine. You saved me! You got me out of there, everything’s better now.” You reach for him when he flinches. He hates how your face falls, even more so, when he denies you proximity.
“I-I should’ve stayed home.” He accepts before making his way back to Bucky, asking if they could leave.
“B-Bob!” You call after him, your dam cracking, hearing faint clicks approach your form from behind, you look up.
“Come on. Let’s get you both home before Valentina makes an ever bigger show.”
Yelena.
You peer at her, eyes glistening. She tilts her head, an apologetic smile on her face.
“Come on.” She wraps a blazer around your shoulders. One that smelled oddly like the shaggy-haired man. You were dreading the car ride home, that much certain.
-
“So you instigated him?” The drive back to the watch tower was nothing short of an unbearable experience. Your scowl and crossed arms giving way to how pissed off you were. Bucky and Walker avoided your harsh, directed stare. Bob had sat to your side, curling in on himself as the tension only intensified. His hands were warm, a mock of how close your skin was to touching, but he’d more than likely pull away.
Dreadful.
Now you all had made it out of the elevator with the team hot on your trail. Your heels clicked heavily against the floors. Bob stood off to the side slowly discarding the tie Yelena had done for him. He looked down at the fabric. Messing with it idly to distract himself from the fight he knew would break out. His shoulders reflected that of a small child anticipating his parent’s anger, slumped over on his tall frame.
“I wouldn’t say that? It was more of a friendly bit of teasing. All we did was give him the nudge he needed to confess the undying love he has for you.” Walker sighed as he went over to the bar. “We saw how pissed Ryker was making you…told the kid to go save you or to stop bitching about how much he wants to be with you.”
Asshole.
“So you hazed him and made Void come out.”
“Well, when you put it that way…” Walker trails off.
“You’re unbelievable!”
“Look, we didn’t mean for it to happen-“
“Didn’t mean-“ You laugh incredulously. “Spare me, Walker. No one can function properly, when you’re down everyone’s throat with childish antics. What were you even thinking?”
“Y/n, you don’t need to stick up for me-” Bob tried to create space between you and the Soldier.
“He wasn’t.” Bucky stepped in. Running a hand down his face tiredly. “We thought it’d be harmless, Y/n. Why would we ever intentionally put him through that sort of thing?”
“I told you we were gonna get him out of the house so he good have a fun night. Did I not tell you I wanted no weapons for tonight? To not wound him up to the point of his other self being unleashed. I was gonna come back after I handled Ryker. I had it handled.” You sneer at the man. Tears forming in your eyes, shaking your head at his ignorance.
A scoff to your left makes everyone’s head turn. Bob fiddles with his tie, his head shaking, a half smile settled over his face. “He bruised you��that’s not handling it.”
“Bob-“ You sigh.
“It…It wasn’t their fault, Y/n. If anyone’s to blame, blame it on me. I went after you…”
“No-“ You protest.
“Bucky and Walker only brought the idea up to me...It was my choice alone. I made the decision…to check on you. But now…I-I should have stayed home-“ Bob shakes his head. “Valentina was right…I shouldn’t have been let out.”
“Valentina can dig her grave and lie in it. I’m tired of her trying to keep you locked up here. You’re allowed to go outside when you feel like it! You’re not under house arrest, she can’t confine you to this place-”
“I just make everything worse.” Bob's brows pinch together. You cup your stomach as tears begin to spill down your face.
“No. You don’t. Don’t think like that. You don’t, I promise.” Your protest further escalated his self-loathing.
“Void took hold of you from what everyone is saying, and for whatever reason, felt the need to keep you from getting back to us. He hurt you, I hurt you.“
“But that’s not on you! That wasn’t your fault! It was mine. For thinking I could somehow bring you back down from in there.” Your eyes meet his temple. “I made things worse. I mean—I shot a bullet at you! I could have knocked him on his ass, but I didn’t and it wasn’t the right call for me to make.” You argue.
“We’re one whole. How is it not my fault?” His shoulders slumped, looking at the team’s conflicted expressions. “Am I wrong?” He breathes a laugh out. “Nothing ever turns out great when I’m around.” He slowly retreats towards the stairs. “I told you guys I should’ve stayed home...”
“Bob please…” You call after him.
“Let him go.” Bucky orders. You turn back to look at your teammates.
“D-Did I just ruin this things between us?” You let your arms flop down to your sides.
“No…it’s not your fault. This isn’t your fault at all.” Bucky reassures you. He walks over to you and squeezes your shoulder.
“Why didn’t you knock him on his ass?” Walker questions.
“I was going to,” You snapped back at him. “-but I didn’t. I couldn’t. I don't know...It felt like I was back there again, enduring his abuse when he grabbed me...I guess I froze." You shrug nonchalantly. "Then Bob showed up...and I couldn't think straight. Couldn't think of a way not to escalate things further, but I only made it worse, and it cost Ryker his life in the end...Cost Bob a fun night."
"He killed him?" Walker closes his eyes; your turmoil didn't do anything to hide it. He didn't miss the coms from the authorities either, claiming one casualty earlier on their way out of the venue.
You looked at the floor. "He did...and he doesn't need that put on him. So don't fucking tell him." You warn.
"I think Bob should decide that for himself, no?" Bucky raised a brow at you. "What happened to letting him make his own choices from now on?"
“Well, he wanted to stay home, but we all kept insisting he go out with us. So I don’t know anymore! And I'm not deciding for him..." Your hands were balled into a tight fist. "He should decide, yes, but when he's ready. He doesn't need to know about it right now...It just happened and a part of me isn’t too upset with him about it, but he's in such a vulnerable state right now...I feel like it’ll only do more harm than good...It'll be another thing for him to hate himself over...He doesn’t need that right now.” You say softly. “You guys should have seen him when we were in the void…He’s so capable and we take his gifts for granted.”
“We never thought he was incapable, it's why we agreed to allow him to make his own choices, decide what he eats for dinner, allow him to find his own hobbies. Tonight was just a one-time incident where we peer pressured him into leaving his room, when he didn't want to."
“Well, that peer pressure backfired, didn’t it?” You said under your breath. You run a hand down your face in frustration. “God, he didn’t even want to leave his room...Did you see how uncomfortable he was at dinner? You said it yourself, we coerced him. And I’ve never seen him more upset about it...” You turn your head, peering at the staircase. "Was it stupid of me to think we could show him a fun night out?"
"No. We all wanted the same for him." Yelena shakes her head. "It's not stupid."
"Then why does it feel like it is? He's probably up in his room beating himself up for even stepping outside."
"'Cause you love him..." Yelena gave you a pinched tired grin.
You look away from her. Your shoulders slumped as your eyes burned with unshed tears. It was quiet. No one was sure of what to say. You closed your eyes as that familiar pain in your chest returned. "I do. I love him..." Your voice broke. "But this isn't about how I feel. It's about him." You shake your head. "He was just starting to feel a little more secure with himself in public...He's gonna hate himself for thinking he ruined everyone's night. I could see it in his eyes...The last thing he needs is to feel guilty over something he has no control over." You continue.
"It's not fair to him...He's had it rough for so long, and every time there's progress, something bad happens that takes him thirty steps back." You let out a small scoff. "Maybe I never should have brought up the idea of a night out in the first place...How can he forgive me after a night like tonight?"
"'Cause he loves you too." Yelena tilts her head at your self-deprecation.
You look at her. Your body stiffens, and your chest tightens as you let her words sink in. "But what good is it to love me if it only brings him pain? How long before that love fades to nothing because of my negligence?"
Yelena shakes her head, taking your hands in hers. "You can't doubt yourself, or his feelings for you. I know it's difficult, but the last thing you need to do is start putting yourself down and feeling sorry about tonight." She squeezes your hands.
Bucky stood next to you, his arms crossed over his chest as he nodded in agreement. "You know that you mean a lot to him right?"
“And he only agreed to go out because you wanted him there with us.” Yelena admits.
“Also, we might’ve encouraged him to confess his feelings for you, but he wanted to do it at his own time…I should have stopped then and there, kid. I’m sorry.”
Bucky’s admission only added to the weight that sat heavy in your chest. You look over at him and nod slowly, unable to form words.
Yelena gently rubbed you on the back. “You know he can’t stay inside that room forever. You both need each other." Yelena chimed in. “Plus he can’t go a day without his cereal so there’s that…”
"He'll come to his senses..." Walker gives you a faint grin. “He’d be stupid not to.”
“T-Thanks guys…” You step back from Yelena’s hands. “I’m gonna be outside if you need me…gonna clear my head.”
“Want some company?” Ava offers surprisingly.
“N-No I’m okay.” You brush her off before you head out to the roof.
“Take the time you need, little one.” Alexei chimes after you. You raises a thumb in the air in your exit.
When you're out of sight, Walker asks. "What time is it?"
Bucky checks his watch. "Just a quarter till midnight. Why?"
At the realization, Walker takes off towards the staircase. "Walker, what are you doing?" Yelena called after him.
"Keeping my promise!" He called from over his shoulder. “You'll see!” Bucky, Yelena, Ava shared a look as he ran up the stairs and disappeared.
"What the hell is that about?" Yelena gapes before shaking her head. “Whatever, I’m going to bed. Someone make sure Y/n doesn’t jump off the roof.”
“I don’t think we have to worry about that…” Bucky shakes his head.
-
You hadn't fully registered how the cold breeze stung you until you felt a jacket fall over your shoulders. You had been so caught by New York's optics that you missed the metal door creak open. You jump at the sudden contact, thinking you'd see someone beside you, but you had to turn further around to see the man of the hour, who had been running through your mind, stood at the door. You take note of the hand he lowers back down to his side. Putting two and two together about how the jacket made it to you. He made it float. "Bob..."
“Walker said you might be cold…” He said, shoving his hands in his pockets.
"Right…I-I was...thank you." You turn your head, nuzzle your nose into the fabric as you insert your arms through the arm holes.
He nods his head. “Welcome…” His chest feels tight watching you snuggle into his jacket. His gaze settled down in front of him. Neither of you say anything. The sounds of New York City echo throughout the night air. Car engines, taxi cabs, faint horns in the distance. Time did seem to stop up here, whereas life continued down on the streets. It was oddly comforting. "C-Could I join you?"
You look back at him, surprised by his suddenness. "Yeah...Yeah of course."
He nods then takes the spot next to you; awkwardly fidgets with his fingers in his lap. He turns his head, looking at you in his jacket. It was a sight for sure...He tried to ignore the way his heart palpitated in his chest.
He tries to focus on the sound of the wind and the city in the distance. But his eyes linger on you, taking in your form. How the evening sky envelopes you in its darkness, distant lights from neighboring buildings causing a warm hue to make your face visible to him, the way the wind nipped at your nose, and your sniffles took over you...He couldn't deny it...You looked beautiful, so carefree.
You turn at the right time and catch him gazing at you. Your eyes crinkle with a hint of heat that rushes up to warm your cheeks. You both emit a nervous laugh, settling your eyes onto your laps. His hands wring together, yours fiddling with the jacket's sleeves.
The silence continued, but this time, there was an obvious tension in the air. The both of you were hyper-aware of it. His eyes continued to dart between you and the city lights. "Can I ask you something?"
"Anything..."
His heart stutters in his chest. He takes a shaky breath, his nervousness building. He looks back at you. You look at him reassuringly, like you genuinely meant that one word...Anything.
It makes it difficult for him to get the next words out. "...It’s a stupid question." He rubs the back of his neck.
“That’s okay.”
"I-I just-" He sighs, his jaw clenching as he looks out at the city again. "This might sound weird...But do you know how to tie a tie?" He swallows down any anxiety, forcing his gaze back on you.
“Oh.” Your eyes widen at the peculiar question. “Do I know how to tie a tie?” You ask again to ensure you heard him right. Bob nods yes.
“Sorry...I warned you it was a stupid question. Just...Forget I asked, okay?" He rubs the back of his neck again, looking away.
"No, No...It's okay. If you really want to know. I do."
His eyes flicker with curiosity, meeting your gaze. "You...You do?" He quirks an eyebrow.
"Yeah. Why do you ask?"
He shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant, but there was an underlying hint of something in his eyes. "Oh, I was just...I was just curious, that's all...I can’t put one on myself...Yelena did it for me, but I…" He trails off, looking back at the city. "I just thought maybe...You could-" His words die in his throat, cutting himself off before he lets any more words slip. He shakes his head, his hands continuing to fidget in his lap.
You register the implication. "Teach you?" You try.
His breath hitches in his throat as you finish his sentence. He looks back at you, his eyes a mix of vulnerability and relief. He could sense the anticipation in your gaze, waiting for him to respond. "Y-Yeah...Teach me." He finally manages to rasp out. "So Yelena won't have to anymore..."
"Yeah, I can. Tell me when okay." You grip his hand. He nods.
"O-Okay..." He looks down at his lap. Your touch is soft and warm. He can't help letting the guilt eat at him. You were being so gentle with him when he was anything but. "I'm sorry I hurt you..."
"Don't-” You shake your head. “Don't do that. Don't apologize." You squeeze his hand gently. "It wasn't your fault...You weren't in control."
"But that doesn't change the fact that my other half hurt you!" He snaps back, his grip on your hand momentarily tightening. You both look down at his hold, his shoulders lose their tension before he's holding you like you're made out of porcelain.
"Look at me, please." You request softly. He raises his head, trying to avoid eye contact. His chest tightens, knowing he can’t hold your gaze for too long. "It wasn't you."
His jaw clenches, his eyes stinging. "I should've stayed here...Then I wouldn't have ruined the night." His breath shakes, the words leaving him in a broken whisper. His eyes meet yours, tears blurring his vision. He hated this—all of this.
Tears sting your eyes as well. Your free hand reaches up, brushing his cheek gently. His eyes flutter at your touch. "You didn't ruin anything..."
He shakes his head, refusing to accept the comfort you try to offer him. The guilt is too heavy, weighing him down like a thousand-pound weight. He feels so undeserving. "I did...I always do. I-I..." His voice trails off, tears spilling down his cheeks.
"No-" Your hand cups his face, forcing him to look at you. "No, you don't. You might make mistakes, but you don't always screw things up. You're a good man, Bob. You're so much more than what you think of yourself..." You lean your forehead against his. “You’re good.”
He tries not to melt at the way you say his name. His face falls forward, leaning his forehead into yours. He closes his eyes, savoring the feeling of your touch, your words. "How can you say that? Especially after tonight..."
"Because it’s true.” You softly run your thumb over his cheek, catching another tear that slips down. “You are such a good man.” You take a shaky breath, trying to find the right words. “You’ve been through a lot…You’ve been beaten down many times…but you keep bouncing back up.” He’s still against you, his breathing ragged as he lets the comfort of your proximity soothe him. “You brought me back from the Void, you didn’t leave me…You’re so good!” You breathe out a laugh. "I wish you'd see it yourself."
He can’t speak, the lump in his throat preventing him from doing so. Instead, he closes his eyes tighter, relishing in the sound of your voice. He’s desperate to soak up every word you say, to have them sink in, become second skin. He’s been deprived of something so simple for so long, to hear the one person he cares about say those words…It’s making him unravel at the seams. When he finally speaks, it’s barely above a whisper. “Do you love me?”
The question hangs in the air like the sound of a church bell. You take note of how he’s looking at you. The way he leans into your touch, seeking the comfort of human contact that he’s been deprived of. Your hand gently cups his chin, your other moving to rest over his heart. His gaze is fixed on yours like an anchor, waiting for you to respond. You can read the desperation and need in his eyes, the vulnerability that he's trying so hard to conceal.
You see a man wanting, no, begging to be loved. To be told that he's worthy of it despite believing otherwise. You look at the way he's clutching your hand, desperate for some kind of reassurance. He's hurting, still so damn broken, but not loving him with every fiber in your being would hurt you more. "Yes…God, I’d be stupid not to." You breathe a laugh.
Your words hit him like a tidal wave. His heart stutters in his chest, the grip he has on your hand clenching involuntarily. His eyes search yours again, looking for any sign of deception, anything to tell him you don't really mean it. But all he sees is complete honesty looking right back at him. He shakes his head; a broken laugh escapes his lips as his chest tightens at the confession. "Yeah…You really mean that?"
His questioning. It only hurts you further. So you cup his face, bringing him closer so you could look into his eyes. “I do. I mean it...I love you.” He flinches. He’s frozen, eyes searching your face, waiting for you to take it back. You don’t.
You run your thumb over his skin, gently brushing your nose against his. You see tears form in his eyes again, and suddenly, his hands are on your waist. Gripping the material of the jacket he gave to you, pulling you close. “Can you repeat it?” He finally croaks out.
“I love you…” You’d tell him three thousand times if he asked.
He shivers; the tremble of his chin is barely noticeable. “Again?” You’re suddenly pulled into his lap with a soft force. The grip he has on you is tight, not rough, as though he’s afraid you’ll disappear.
"I love you." You trace his jawline. He lets out a shaky breath. It's not long till you're leaning in to capture his lips with yours.
The first touch of your lips against his has him releasing a low groan. His eyes flutter as he melts into it before he suddenly pulls you flush against him, desperately trying to savor it—savor your touch. His lips move against yours in a frenzy, his hands gripping you tighter on your hips. The kiss is filled with need, a longing he can barely contain.
He can’t get enough. The taste of you was so sweet and warm. He’s been deprived of such a simple thing that now his body screams for it. His heart beats wildly in his chest, his hands exploring every part of you he can reach. He can feel your body against his, its heat, that only adds fuel to the fire. The kiss deepens, becoming more passionate and desperate than you expected from him. When you pull back to gather your bearings, to allow oxygen back into your lungs, you can’t help but cry. Bob, already second-guessing the little make-out session, feeling he's done something wrong, was relieved when your words deterred his troubled thoughts.
“You're good, you're worthy, and you are so loved…” You wipe the remaining tears with the back of your hand. "If you ever take anything from this conversation, Bob, let it be those three words. You deserve to be wanted. To be happy, to be loved…"
#bob reynolds imagine#bob reynolds#bob reynolds x reader#bob reynolds imagines#bob reynolds x fem!reader#robert reynolds x reader#robert reynolds x fem!reader#robert reynolds imagine#robert reynolds imagines#bob reynolds x you#sentry x reader#thunderbolts*#thunderbolts fanfic#writings by juls#writings by juls: robert reynolds#my gif
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LAYING IT ALL ON THE LINE...

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。꩜°‧➵ PAIR: Joel Miller x fem!reader
。꩜°‧➵ WC: 4.1k
。꩜°‧➵ CONTAINS: 18+ SMUT MDNI, post-outbreak, hurt/comfort, joel's pov, general violence, minor character injury, jackson!joel, when he picks an unnecessary fight with you because that's all he knows, mentioned age gap, joel miller as a sad old man, joel miller experiences feelings, oral sex (f!receiving), p in v, clothed sex, unprotected sex, erectile dysfunction? we don't know what that means in this house because that old man can fuck like he's twenty AND his knees are made of steel (but only sometimes), porn w/o plot, no use of y/n.
。꩜°‧➵ @retrosabers SAYS: thinking about you almost dying on patrol and joel is FUMING, unable to convey just how worried and anxious it makes him. the only way he can even remotely conceptualize his feelings is through a very PASSIONATE rawdogging ♡
。꩜°‧➵ NAT'S NOTE: everyone say thank you sid for this absolutely luxurious prompt...i'm waiting. i had so much fun with this! i love love love a good semi-angsty, emotionally constipated man having to come to terms with his buried slash repressed feelings in the gritty wake of a near-death experience, like that's my shit. hope y'all love it!
dividers by @cafekitsune & @saradika-graphics!
joel miller realizes that love isn’t just a four letter word…
"Southeast perimeter’s clear. Heading west by the river bed."
“Wow, you’re finally gonna stop gettin’ us lost out here, sunshine?”
“Lost? Please, you cried when I found that shortcut through the cedar thicket.”
Joel listens to you and Tommy bicker over the radio, a forgotten cup of coffee going cold at his side. That's all he can do when you're out there—patrolling in the snow with a few others. He's not proud of how he just sits by like some anxious house wife, listening to the static between check-ins, but he can't make himself focus on anything other than the way your bright voice filters in and out.
He tries not to hover. Tries not to keep the handheld clutched like it's a goddamn lifeline. But he does, eyes glued to the thing like it might crack open and spill you out if he stares hard enough.
Joel's really not even supposed to be listening in like this. Maria's chewed him out more times than he can count each time she catches him hunched over an old radio that he's never bothered turning in, says it'll do him more harm than good worrying over it.
Besides, these channels aren't meant for civilians sitting on their asses at home. He knows that, because that's exactly what he is now—civilian adjacent. Half-retired.
Tommy jokes about it every once in a while, the way Joel's slowed down, the way his joints complain louder than they used to. A while back, he might've laughed too. Now, every little twinge of pain feels like a reminder of what he used to be.
Joel used to be the one they all looked to out on patrol. He could track better, shoot cleaner, navigate faster than most of the younger guys. That's not the case these days. His patrolling has slowed down over the past few years. He only goes out a few times every couple of months, if even that.
He tells himself it’s by choice.
It’s not, not at all. He’s tired. His knees ache after long rides. His busted shoulder can’t handle the cold without locking up. Jackson’s got a whole rotation now, young joints, faster reflexes, eyes that don’t blur when the wind hits just right. So he doesn’t go out much anymore. Not unless the group is short. Not unless they really need him.
It makes sense. He knows it makes sense.
That doesn’t make it feel right. You out there, miles away in knee-deep snow with a rifle strapped to your back while he’s stuck here. Not out there. Not beside you.
Joel knows you can handle yourself—hell, you’ve proven that a dozen times over. You’re younger. Strong. Fast. Smart as a whip. You can shoot the cap off a beer bottle and you handle a knife better than most people your age.
Knowing all that still doesn’t quiet the feeling of unease that eats away at him each time you strap on your gear and kiss him goodbye with a, See you later, Miller. Strolling out the door like it’s casual. Like it’s nothing.
There’s a kind of helpless fury in it. A sick twist in his gut every time he watches you ride out. Like he’s some retired goddamn hunting dog. Trusted to guard the porch, but not sharp enough to run with the pack anymore.
Joel adjusts the volume dial on the radio like it’ll make your voice stay longer.
Tommy’s laugh cuts through the speaker. “Didn’t cry. I got snow in my eye.”
“In July? Sure.”
It comes in grainy and light, full of that same teasing bite you always give Tommy—enough to make Joel’s jaw tighten with a quiet, helpless kind of fondness. He almost smiles, but it doesn’t reach past the tight pull in his chest. You’re still picking your way through territory where any tree line might be hiding something.
Joel shifts in his seat, elbows on the table, jaw clenched tight. He tells himself you’re fine. You always are. You have to be.
The channel goes still for a few beats. Then, a crack of static. Some muffled shuffling. And—
“Wait—something’s moving in the trees. Left side, just past the ridge.”
Your voice. Sharper now. Less teasing and pointedly quiet.
“Copy,” Tommy replies, suddenly serious. “Keep eyes on—”
A burst of noise. A flurry of panicked voices overlapping and shouts. The unmistakable sound of gunfire.
Then nothing.
Dead air.
Joel’s heart drops to his boots. “Tommy?” he barks into the receiver. “Come in. What the hell’s happening out there?”
When there’s no answer, Joel shoots to his feet. The chair scrapes across the floor harshly as he crosses the room in two large strides, fumbling for his jacket. “Tommy? Goddammit, someone answer me!”
Nothing.
Joel’s heart thuds violently against his ribcage as he stares at the little black box in his hand like it’s an omen. He feels it rush in all at once—panic, guilt, helpless rage curling cold and mean in his chest. His ears are ringing so loud he doesn’t hear the slam of the door behind him as he tears out of the house and into the cold air.
Something happened. The group was compromised. You were compromised.
And he’s not there.
He should’ve been there.
Joel doesn’t remember the sprint to the stables. Doesn’t remember shouting at Maria when she tried to stop him at the gate. Doesn’t remember half the ride out. All he knows is that his hands won’t stop shaking around the reins and the bile in his throat tastes like ash—a sick, gnawing pit growing in his gut.
When he finds the group what feels like hours later, just as the sun starts to rise behind the ridgeline—you’re nowhere to be found. His eyes scan the way everyone’s spread out, some with minor injuries and the others patching them up.
No sign of you.
Tommy plants himself in front of Joel just as he hauls himself off his horse. He doesn’t even feel the way his knees jolt as his feet hit the ground.
“Where the hell is she?” he rasps, voice so rough it sounds like it’s been dragged through gravel. “Where, Tommy?”
Tommy’s hands are out in front of him like Joel’s a wild animal about to snap. He’s got blood on his hands, but no signs of stab wounds or bullet holes anywhere on him. It’s not his blood. Joel’s stomach turns viciously at the sight, at the thought of whose it might be.
“She’s fine,” Tommy says, eyes wide and placating. “Took a hit, it grazed her side. She wouldn’t fuckin’ stay down.”
Joel knows he won’t feel any relief until he sees you, alive and breathing with his own eyes. “Where.”
Tommy steps aside just before Joel nearly shoves past him, nodding his head toward a rock outcrop a ways away from everyone else.
You’re sitting closest to the makeshift fire, Jesse crouched beside you to clean the gash along your side. You’re bundled in someone else’s coat, hair mussed and blood soaked through your undershirt and spattered across your cheeks.
Visibly shaken. Color drained. Bloody. Alive.
Joel’s throat locks up when your eyes meet his. You give him the smallest, tired smile—like you're trying to reassure him. That look. That stupid, brave little tilt of your mouth like everything's okay even when you're the one bleeding through Tommy's jacket.
It makes something in his chest crack wide open.
“Joel?”
He doesn’t speak.
Doesn’t know what to say.
Doesn’t trust himself for it to be anything good.
Joel takes three shaky steps towards you before his knees give out.
He drops hard into the snow. He doesn’t catch himself, doesn’t try. Just falls forward like a penitent man bowing at the altar of a God he doesn’t believe in. His breath comes in short, ragged bursts, eyes locked onto the red seeping through your shirt like it's the only color in the whole damn world.
There’s a beat where nobody moves. Jesse freezes, half-done wrapping gauze, and you’re just sitting there, wide-eyed and shaking like a leaf, lips parted like you’re trying to say something—but Joel’s already reaching for you.
He's on you in the next breath. Not rough, not like usual, not with that greedy, hungry touch he normally has after you come back from patrol. His hands are trembling when they find your face, tilting your chin up gently, his fingers brushing away wet blood and dirt.
Tommy glances away. Jesse too, both men busying themselves with helping the others. It feels too private, even out here in the open.
“Goddammit,” he chokes. “God—baby–”
His voice breaks on the last word. Breaks, something sharp and gutted and boyish, nothing like the hardened man who's grown to guard his emotions like they’re classified. Your hands hover uncertainty over his shoulders, the side of his face. You’re worried. He can see it plain as day, written in the wavering line of your mouth.
“Hey—hey, I’m okay,” you say, voice low and urgent. “I’m fine. Look at me, Joel, I’m fine. It just—it just grazed me, okay? I’m fine.”
You’re not fine.
You’re too pale. You’re stone-cold. Your blood is still tacky on your shirt, drying beneath his body's warmth.
Joel presses his forehead to yours and exhales like he’s been kept underwater, and you were the surface he’d been clawing to.
You whisper his name again, quieter this time, and he shushes you. “Don’t—don’t talk, just—let me—” His fingers press to the pulse point at your wrist like he still needs proof. “Let me feel you.”
You don’t say anything else.
You just hold him.
And Joel doesn’t cry. He can’t. Something won’t let him, but he stays there in the snow for a long time, holding you like a man who thought he’d never get the chance to again.
The ride back to Jackson is quiet.
You fell asleep half-way through, head lolling back against Joel’s shoulder as you both sat in the saddle, your body loose with exhaustion and the emergency pain meds Jesse had in his pack. Tommy rides ahead, checking the trail, but Joel barely looks up. He just holds the reins with one hand and holds you tighter with the other.
You’re taken to the infirmary the second everyone files through the gates. Joel sits by your bedside in stormy silence, hands curled into fists and resting on his knees, the only thing keeping him together.
You talk to the nurse on duty. You even joke with her, cracked voice and tired eyes like it’s all part of the routine. Like getting shot is just another part of the job. And Joel sits there while someone else wraps you in new bandages and checks your vitals.
It makes his blood boil.
All he can think about is the way your voice cut out on the radio. The way he didn’t know if you were dead or bleeding out in some field, alone. And now you’re laughing. Now you’re telling the nurse, “I’m fine really, just sore.” And it makes him want to tear the whole fucking clinic apart.
Joel doesn’t say a word until you're cleared to leave.
Not on the short walk back to your house. Not when you’re walking through the door, cleaned up. Patched. Your shirt’s gone, replaced by his coat and a thermal blanket around your shoulders.
Not when you nudge his arm gently like you’re testing the waters. Not when you say his name soft, like it might keep him calm before you’re heading towards the bedroom.
It doesn’t.
The moment the door shuts behind him, Joel erupts.
“You got a fuckin’ death wish?”
You freeze in your spot halfway across the room, turning to face him.
Joel doesn’t move. Just stands there, fists clenched at his sides. His voice is low, shaking with barely concealed rage. “You gonna tell me why you thought playin’ saviour was worth bleedin’ out in the snow?”
You don’t say anything for a few beats, eyebrows drawn together in a hard frown as you look at him. “What was I supposed to do, Joel? Jesse was pinned, Tommy would’ve taken the hit. I didn’t have a choice.”
“You always have a choice!” Joel grates, stepping towards you. “You could’ve picked you. You could’ve stayed the fuck down like Tommy told you to.”
“I was trying to keep your brother from getting shot in the head,” you snap, the tension finally striking a flint. “I made a judgment call.”
“You made a stupid call,” he spits, voice loud and blistering. “You don’t get to do that.”
“I didn’t have a choice,” you repeat, your body growing stiff and tense.
“You shoulda fuckin’ stayed down.” Joel growls. He doesn’t even look at you when he says it—just rips his flannel off, tosses it hard at the wall.
You don’t flinch. Don’t even look away from him as his shirt falls and crumples into a heap on the floor. “What?”
“You heard me,” he snaps, turning to look at you again. His eyes are dark, fiery. “Jesus, you—do you even fuckin’ think sometimes? You were hit. You knew you were hit, and you kept goin’. You didn’t stop, didn’t stay down like you were told.”
He steps closer, eyes boring into yours, face twisted with something too furious to be rational. “You fuckin’ chose to be a goddamn hero, huh? Run into gunfire like it ain’t a fuckin’ death sentence? That it?”
He can see the second your expression changes, your own anger rearing its ugly head now, bitter and hot. “Don’t do that. Don’t make this about me being reckless when you know I was just trying to keep people alive. I did what I had to do.”
“No!” he snaps, pointing a finger at you, furious and stricken all at once. “What you had to do was come home. That’s it. That’s all.”
You blink at him, breath caught in your throat.
Joel can’t stop, all the emotions he’s been dealt over the past three hours finally boiling over and spilling through his lips before he can think twice about what he’s saying.
“You could’ve died,” he growls, pacing now, hands dragging through his hair roughly like he’s trying to rip the anger out of himself. “Two fuckin’ inches to the left and that bullet would’ve torn straight through your gut. You think you’d’ve made it to town in time for that? Huh?”
“That’s not fair.”
“No,” he snarls, spinning on you, voice cracking. “It’s not fuckin’ fair. Nothin’ about this is. You go out there, and I sit at home waitin’ to see if today’s the day I lose you. That the last thing I heard is your voice cuttin’ out in the middle of a fuckin’ ambush. That’s what I got to live with now. That’s what I saw every time I closed my eyes on that ride back.”
You stand there, lost for words. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
“I know you didn’t,” Joel says, suddenly quieter, throat thick. He swallows hard, looking down, shaking his head like he’s trying to get a grip. “But I still almost lost you. And I don’t—fuck—I don’t know what the hell I’d do if that ever—”
His voice cuts off, ragged. Then he’s in front of you again, cupping your face with both hands. “You’re not allowed to do that to me again,” he whispers fiercely. “You’re not allowed to scare me like that.”
“Joel…” You lean into him, slow. Cautious.
Joel meets you halfway.
His mouth is on yours in a heartbeat—hot and bruising and pathetically desperate. His big hands frame your face, thumbs dragging down your cheekbones as he licks a wet stripe over the plush seam of your lips.
You gasp into his mouth when he pushes the blanket off your shoulders, when his palms skate down your sides to grip your hips hard. Not too rough, not yet, but he’s holding you because he needs you rooted. Anchored. Here.
Joel kisses you like he’s still furious at you, like he hates how much he needs you, like he’s punishing you for making him feel so afraid. It’s not soft, all teeth and tongue as he devours you, stealing the breath from your lungs.
When he pulls back, his mouth is wet with your spit, lips pink and swollen. “Need to taste you,” he mutters. “Need to feel you.”
Joel sinks to his knees before you can respond, breath huffing harshly against your stomach. His fingers tug your zipper down with frantic urgency, hooking his thumbs in your waistband to peel your pants down your legs in one swift motion.
There’s no teasing. No smugness. Just a heavy, sharp hunger carved into his face like stone as he pulls your panties to the side, exposing you to his greedy eyes. His hands slide under your thighs, lifting one over his shoulder as he brings his mouth to you like a man possessed.
The first drag of his tongue is slow. Reverent. Hot and wet as he parts the slick seam of your cunt with deliberate strokes that make your spine arch. He groans like your taste knocks the wind out of him, and then he latches on like he’s got a point to prove—to himself or you, he’s not sure. All he knows is that worshipping you is the only penance that could soothe the panic still clawing at his insides.
“Joel.” Your hands tangle in his hair, chin falling to your chest as you gaze down at him.
He sucks your clit into his mouth, tongue relentless, nose pressed deep against you. You whimper, twisting his hair in your grip, hips twitching—Joel doesn’t let you go anywhere. He’s got you trapped, your body pinned with his mouth buried between your thighs like he plans to die there.
It’s filthy, obscene—the way he devours you. Lips slick, beard growing damper with each swirl of his tongue, eyes half-lidded but still trained on your own.
Your eyes are glassy, pupils blown wide and black as spilled ink. There’s sweat beaded on your brow, lips parted and swollen as you let out small huffs of air.
Your thighs are trembling. You're soaked, arching against him, whimpering his name with tears welling in your eyes. And still—still—he won’t let up. He needs this. Needs to make you fall apart. Needs to prove to himself you’re alive by the way your body sings under his touch.
Joel can’t stop. Not until your thighs shake and you’re moaning that you’re gonna come, gonna come, Joel, please—
And you do. You fall apart on his tongue with a broken sob, legs clenching tight around his ears, hips grinding down into his mouth in weak twitches and shudders. He growls and holds you still, licking you through every last tremor until your body goes limp and threatens to sink to the floor.
Joel doesn’t let you fall—he lowers you down gently, like you’re made of spun glass, even as his hands skirt over the hem of your shirt. When he pulls it up, revealing the bandages wound tight around your side, he pauses. His gaze lingers on the wound. Jaw clenched. Something soft and wrecked flickers in his eyes.
Your hand comes up to cup the side of his face, your thumb running over the scar across his temple so gently it has his heart throbbing in his chest. “I’m okay,” you whisper. “Still here.”
Joel takes your wrist in his hand, lowering it down enough to press it hard over his heart. “You feel that?” he breaths. “That hasn’t stopped hammerin’ since I heard your voice cut out.”
You nod slowly. Your fingers curl into his shirt. “I’m sorry.”
Joel squeezes your wrist, turning his head to press a soft kiss to your forearm.
He climbs up over you, chest to chest—the jut of his cock where it tents the denim of his jeans grinds over the sensitive span of your cunt as he settles himself between your legs. He’s thick, heavy even through all the layers.
Joel’s free hand snakes down his body, making quick work of his belt. He rips his zipper down, freeing his cock from the confines of his soaked boxers and letting it slap up against his stomach.
You moan at the sight of it—hard, straining, the tip a dusty red and wet with pre-come. Your legs widen unconsciously, thighs twitching on either side of Joel’s hips.
Joel takes himself in his hand, fist tight over the base of his cock as he runs himself through your puffy cunt, slicking the skin of his cock with your wetness. “Gonna fuck you,” he breathes, lining himself up between your legs. “Gonna feel you around me, baby, need it so damn bad.”
Joel slides in with one long, smooth stroke, your slick making it easy, and the groan he lets out sounds like pain. Like relief. Like he might lose his mind from the heat of you. Your breath hitches at the stretch, head lolling back against the hardwood as your nails dig into his shoulders.
“Mine,” he grits through his teeth, forehead pressed to yours, his hips grinding deeper as you cling to him. “You’re mine, baby. Always—always mine.”
You nod, panting, eyes glassy. “All yours,” you whisper. “Only yours, Joel.”
And then he moves.
Hard.
Desperate.
Unrelenting.
He fucks you like you’re the only thing tethering him to earth, like if he stops, he’ll unravel entirely. One arm hooks under your knee, pushing you open, deeper than before. His hips slap against yours, raw and hopelessly, but it’s not about getting off.
It’s about feeling you.
Every squeeze, every tremble, every gasp that leaves your mouth when he hits that perfect spot.
Joel’s never felt like this before.
So angry.
So scared.
So in love.
He fucks you like he’s trying to imprint himself inside your body. His thrusts stitch you back to him, sealing you inside his chest so you can never leave. A mess of skin-on-skin and heat and slick as the two of you meet again and again and again.
“Could’ve lost you,” he growls against your throat. “Fuck, honey, I could’ve—Jesus—”
You wrap your arms around him. “You didn’t,” you whisper. “I’m here, Joel—I’m yours—”
He groans, hips stuttering, thrusts turning frantic. He can tell he’s close, that he’s been close since he sank to his knees in front of you.
“Say it again,” he pants, slamming into you with a low, wrecked noise. “Say you’re mine.”
“I’m yours,” you gasp. “Always yours—fuck, Joel—”
You wrap your arms tighter around him, pulling him closer. Your nails dig into his skin through the thin layer of his undershirt, legs locking around his waist to keep him pressed against you like you’re scared he’ll let go.
Joel doesn’t let go. He’d never let go. Not even when you moan his name like a prayer, not even when your nails rake down his back, not even when you gasp out a warning, your voice thin and needy. “Joel, I—gonna—”
“I know, baby. I got you.” His hand snakes down between you, finding your clit and rubbing quick circles over it, desperate to feel you come. “Wanna feel you. Need to—fuck—need to feel you, sweetheart. Please.”
You shatter in his arms with a broken sob, clenching hard around him as your body jerks, overwhelmed and too raw to hide it. Joel feels you pulse around his cock, the tight warmth of your cunt milking him.
It’s too much, and he’s coming with a groan that sounds like it’s been clawed from his chest. He buries himself to the hilt, hips jerking with every pulse, breath catching in your ear. “Fuck, fuck—” he pants, voice hoarse, “—love you, I love you, I thought I lost you, baby, I can’t…”
You’re both trembling when it ends.
Joel holds you there for a long time, forehead resting against yours, still buried deep inside you. He still won’t let you go. Not yet.
Eventually, when he’s calmed, he pulls back just enough to look at you.
You expect that same look from earlier—rage, fear, guilt—but it’s not there. Just love. Just deep, aching relief.
“I can’t lose you,” he says quietly. “I wouldn’t survive it.”
You reach up, trace the curve of his brow, the edge of his jaw. “You won’t have to,” you whisper.
Joel kisses you again. Softer this time. Sweeter. A delicate press of lips against lips. His fingers stroke your cheek, pulling back enough for his eyes to trace along your face. He follows the line of your brows, the shape of your nose, the soft curve of your lips.
He can’t feel anything other than love.
Gentle. Solid. Steady.
It’s only love.

mini nat's note: everyone please send good vibes for my hell sent ch*m final on monday...i literally need all the luck i can get. thank you so much for reading! mwah.

#— 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘢 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴 ♡#ᯓ★ 𝐧𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐣𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫!#natalia can’t write anything under 1.000 words#this is...#i know the joel tumblrinas will match my freak#match my freak goddammit!#match it!#love you mwah#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fanfic#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#tlou x reader#tlou smut#the last of us smut#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal smut
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TALK TOO MUCH— paige bueckers x famous!reader
༊*·˚ summary: while doing the wired autocomplete interview, you reveal your celebrity crush to be the famous athlete, Paige Bueckers
༊*·˚ warnings: use of y/n, reader is close friends with renee rapp
༊*·˚ author's note: and after months away...here i am so it might be a little rusty my bad yall
You sat down in the chair that was placed perfectly in back center of the all-white room you had just arrived in a few moments prior. Your makeup artist and hair stylist both came up and made some quick fixes before giving a nod to the crew behind the camera that you were ready.
You sat in the chair with your arms resting against the arms of the chairs as the director gave you the cue to start, "Hi guys! It's Y/N Y/L/N, and this is the Wired Autocomplete Interview" you beamed at the camera doing a small wave. You were then handed a card that was made to look like a Google search bar with questions, with certain parts being blocked out by a white piece of paper.
The first board was questions mostly about where you grew up and how you got your start in music, some even asking about your hometown friends. Two boards later you were handed one that had most questions starting with "who".
You held up the board to the camera as you pealed the first question up, "Who is Y/N Y/L/N's inspiration?" you read out loud before tapping your finger against your lips. "I don't know exactly. I feel like I get inspiration for my music from a lot of different artists, but also from the place I grew up and the people I grew up with" you told the camera truthfully, "But, I have really been loving Renee Rapp right now" you smiled, giving your closest friend a small shoutout.
You continued answering a few more questions before peeling the last one off, reading it as you went, "Who is Y/N Y/L/N's celebrity crush?" you read out before slapping your hand to your face and shaking your head no. "Oh Gosh," you laughed softly as your face warmed, the crew behind the camera laughing with you.
"Wow you guys really wanna know my dark secrets" you smiled as you tossed the board off to the side. You bit down on your bottom lip, as you tilted your head side to side, debating if you should tell the entire internet you your celebrity crush was.
Ultimately, you decided that since you were an artist and she was an athlete there was no way your fans crossed between you two, and there was absolutely no way she knew who you were and would see this interview.
"Ugh, okay, okay, I'll tell y'all," you said, covering your face with your hands for a second to calm yourself before letting a small smile fall on your lips as you remove your hands from your face. "Paige Bueckers," you smiled, tilting your head slightly, "And do not tell her! Or I'll like die," you laughed, pointing your finger at the camera.
You finished out the next few boards, cracking jokes, or sometimes leaving answers your fans would have to dissect to figure out your true answer, but soon enough the interview finished and you thanked the crew and said your goodbyes before heading home.
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆
Several weeks passed and you had completely forgotten about your little mention of the star athlete in the video until you were scrolling on TikTok. An edit of the blonde popped up, but much to your shock the intro was a clip of you from the WIRED video talking about the girl before it cut to several velocity-style clips of her, with one of your songs playing in the background. Your eyes then wandered down to the caption which read, "y/n is so real for that" followed by several hashtags.
You then let your curiosity get the best of you as you opened the comments to see what people were saying, some nice and some not so much.
BRO NOT MY FAVS COLLIDING
paige has got to see this
Yall we just lost Paige to whoever this is
not her shooting her shot...and its def not gonna go in
need them together actually
PLEASE never media train her
You couldn't help but scroll in the comments for what seemed like forever before the notification fell from the top of your screen as your phone vibrated lightly. It read with Renee's name at the top with the small phone symbol beside it, you clicked the small answer button and answered the phone, the sound of the girl on the other side dying laughing cutting through.
"Bitch there is no fucking way!" Renee cackled, and you could hear her hitting the couch between each of her words. "Oh My God, I love you so much baby, but exposing yourself like that is crazy work," she spoke into the phone, her laughter dying down.
You groaned, mentally smacking yourself, "I don't even know why I said it! Shit, what if she sees it and thinks I'm some fucking weirdo..." you rambled, before the girl on the other side of the line cut you off.
"Chill. She's not gonna think you're a weirdo," she said, attempting to calm your nerves. "She has like thousands of random ass people talking about her all the time, you're fine."
"Why did no one shut me up," you said, pacing around your living room before feeling your phone buzz with the name paigebueckers appearing in the notification. "She just dmed me," your mouth dropped open as you told your best friend as she encouraged you to open it.
paigebueckers Soooo someone told me about your crush. But like don't die though
You opened up the message and started typing out your apology as quickly as you could.
ynyln omg im so sorry!! i literally didn't think you'd see it and completely forgot i said it after i finished the thing
paigebueckers You're good 🤣
paigebueckers I’ll always take a compliment from a pretty girl
And with that message, you practically launched your face into one of the pillows on the couch as you felt the blood rush to your cheeks and your body went warm.
ynyln oh godddd stopppp😭😭
#wnba#wnba basketball#uconn wbb#paige bueckers#uconn lives#paige bueckers fanfiction#paige bueckers fluff#paige bueckers x reader#paige bueckers x oc#paige bueckers x female oc#paige bueckers x y/n#uconn vs iowa#uconn wcbb#uconnwbb#uconn huskies#uconn women’s basketball#uconn x reader
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THIS MEANS WAR VII

Dick Grayson x Reader x Jason Todd
divider by: @cafekitsune & @thecutestgrotto word count: 4.8k synopsis: Gotham’s youngest neuroscience lecturer never planned to get tangled up with two of its most eligible bachelors. Both are determined to win her over—without revealing they know each other… or that they’re vigilantes. But when the Joker takes an interest in her, things get a whole lot more complicated. a/n: Ngl I struggled slightly this chapter, but I hope y'all enjoyed!
GOTHAM’S CHARITY GALA
You had no idea why you’d agreed to the charity gala in the first place.
You hated galas.
They were suffocating affairs filled with overly expensive champagne, smug smiles, and people who pretended their bank accounts made them saints. Everyone there wanted to be seen—wanted to appear generous, compassionate, noble. But it was all just a show. A glossy, expensive performance for a cause they barely understood and would forget by morning.
The rest of your week had been a blur. You’d been summoned back to the research center on short notice after whispers of a possible breakthrough with the experimental antidote for Joker venom. The work demanded everything—your mind, your focus, your hours. You buried yourself in it so completely that you forgot to text Dick back.
Every day bled into the next. You’d wake up, lecture, research, eat whatever you could find, then collapse into bed just to do it all over again. You hadn’t even remembered the gala until Anthony brought it up casually over coffee, asking if you’d found a dress yet.
Of course you hadn’t.
That was quickly remedied. You found a gown the next day—a royal blue silk piece that clung in all the right places, elegant without being excessive, alluring without trying too hard. Thankfully, you’d already written your speech weeks ago. All that was left was to show up, smile, speak, and survive.
Crowds were never your thing. But years of standing at the front of lecture halls and commanding the attention of restless students had toughened you. You gave the speech. You even got applause. And then?
Then it was just a matter of making it through the next hour before executing a flawless Irish goodbye.
Champagne helped. You snagged a flute from a passing waiter with a practiced ease, the cold glass soothing against your fingers as you weaved toward the buffet. If there was one redeeming quality about rich people—it was their taste in food.
You’d just finished fixing your plate when you turned, nearly colliding with someone.
Your heart jumped as you caught the edge of your dish just in time, the food threatening to topple. “Oh my god! I’m so so—”
You looked up.
Ocean blue eyes met yours.
“Dick!” you breathed, startled. “I didn’t expect you to be here.”
His gaze swept down before he could stop it, drawn to the way the deep royal blue hugged your frame. You caught the subtle shift in his expression—the quick darkening of his eyes when they landed on the dress. It was like the universe had chosen that shade with him in mind.
“Wow,” he murmured. “You look… beautiful. That blue, it suits you.”
You felt the heat crawl up your neck and fought the urge to blush. “Thank you.”
“You never texted me back,” he said, his voice softer now, more intimate over the clinking of glasses and hum of chatter.
You gave a small sigh. “I meant to. I really did. But the lab thinks we might be close to something with the antidote. I’ve barely had time to breathe, let alone check my phone.”
It wasn’t a lie. You had been buried in work. Buried in pressure.
But still, the guilt gnawed at you.
Because the truth was—while your phone sat forgotten under a pile of lab reports and takeout containers—you’d also been quietly freaking out over the fact that you might be accidentally dating two men at once.
You’d meant to text Dick back. You just… got busy.
And maybe, a little, you panicked.
A slow breath escaped him—relief, not frustration. “Thank God. I thought I’d blown it.”
You smirked, tilting your head. “Not yet.”
That crooked, boyish grin spread across his face. “Lucky for me.”
You turned back toward the buffet, needing a break from how he sent butterflies fluttering in your stomach with just a smile. “You hungry?” you asked, more to distract yourself than him. “Because I’m staking claim on that last crab puff.”
“I’m more of a visual feast kind of guy tonight,” he said, still looking at you.
You shot him a look over your shoulder, feigning annoyance. “You’re laying it on a little thick, Grayson.”
“Am I?” he asked, following you to a quieter corner of the ballroom with two drinks in hand. “Maybe. But you disappeared on me for a week. I thought I had to make it count.”
You paused, that twinge of guilt returning. “I really didn’t mean to ghost you. The team’s been on edge—we might finally have something, and I just got swept up in it.”
“I know,” he said, and there was no bitterness in his voice. Only quiet understanding. “It’s one of the things I like about you. When you care, you commit.”
His gaze dipped again, lingering on your dress—on the way the silk hugged your frame and shimmered under the soft lights. His voice dropped, lower now, rough around the edges. “But I’m glad I ran into you tonight. I almost didn’t come… but seeing you in that? Definitely made this night worth it.”
You raised a brow, amused. “What—the dress?”
There was a slight pause. A flicker in his expression. His jaw tightened just a touch before he said, “The dress looks amazing on you. But I like see you in that colour.”
You tilted your head. “Why do I get the feeling there’s something you’re not saying?”
His smile returned, this time with a more wolfish edge—pleased, like he was enjoying a secret you weren’t in on. “Maybe I just have a thing for blue.”
You bit your lip, a playful glint in your eye. “Noted.”
Something shifted in his eyes then. Just slightly. The playfulness remained, but softened at the edges by something more grounded. “You know I meant what I said earlier. I know you’ve got a million things demanding your time. But I don’t mind waiting. I just want to be in the running.”
You looked at him carefully, studying the softness in his eyes, the quiet steadiness in the way he held himself. Your heart beat a little too fast now.
He wasn’t pushing for more than you could give. He wasn’t asking you to slow down or shrink yourself. Wasn’t trying to change your pace or compromise who you were. He just… wanted to show up.
To be present. To try.
And that only made the guilt twist deeper in your chest.
Because he was just so damn sweet. Kind in that quiet, consistent way that crept up on you when you weren’t looking.
And even if the two of you hadn’t talked about exclusivity—even if this thing between you was still unnamed—it felt like you were sneaking around behind his back. Like you were keeping a secret from someone who didn’t deserve to be kept in the dark.
You weren’t doing anything wrong, not technically.
But it didn’t feel right, either.
Not when he looked at you like that.
But before you could find the words to answer or worse spill your guts, he pivoted.
“How long do you usually last at these things?” he asked, a curious edge returning to his tone.
You pushed the fluttery feeling away to give him a dry look over the rim of your glass. “Depends. Long enough to make the speech, shake a few hands, charm a donor or two… and stick around just long enough to sneak a second helping of whatever dessert they’re hoarding at the buffet.”
His mouth curved. “Strategic.”
“Survival,” you corrected.
He leaned a little closer, playful but genuinely interested. “And tonight?”
You glanced at the glittering ballroom, the swirl of tuxedos and designer gowns, and sighed. “About the same plan. I was getting ready to dine and dash within the next ten minutes.”
He let out a low, amused breath. “Guess I intercepted your escape.”
You quirked a brow. “Is that what this is? A rescue mission?”
“Depends,” he said, swirling the amber in his glass. “You want to be rescued?”
You didn’t answer right away.
Instead, you let your eyes scan the room once more—the same painted smiles, the same tired performances. And then you looked back at him, at the ease in his expression, the sincerity beneath the teasing.
A slow smile curled at your lips. “I might be open to it.”
“So then…” he said, his voice dipping again, mischief returning to his eyes. “What do you say we get out of here?”
You raised a brow, wary but amused. “What did you have in mind?”
He leaned in just enough to send a shiver down your spine. “How about we go on that second date of ours?”
You took a second, letting the offer hang there, watching him—how easily the flirtation sat beside the sincerity. And how hard it was not to fall a little deeper into both.
You reached for your clutch, sliding it under your arm. “Lead the way.”
You had no idea what to expect as you slid into Dick’s car and let him pull out onto the dim Gotham streets, the city a blur of gold and shadow through the windshield. Streetlights flickered overhead in slow pulses, casting moving patterns across the interior as you settled into the passenger seat.
“I really hope you were telling the truth and you’re not actually a kidnapper,” you teased, shooting him a sidelong glance.
He smirked without missing a beat, eyes still on the road. “Well, if I were, this would be the smoothest abduction in Gotham history.”
You snorted. “Great. That’s reassuring.”
He glanced at you then, amusement dancing in his eyes. “You don’t seem too worried.”
You bite your lip and give him a gentle grin, “Maybe I’m beginning to not mind if the kidnapper is you.”
There was a pause. A beat of silence where your own words hung in the air—long enough for the both of you to register just how ridiculous they sounded.
“Oh my god,” you groaned, covering your face with your hand as a laugh bubbled out. “That was so bad.”
Dick burst out laughing, shaking his head. “That was terrible. You really tried to make that smooth.”
“Well, not everyone is as smooth as you, Casanova,” you shot back, grinning as you dropped your hand.
He glanced over, mock offended. “Casanova? That’s slander. I’m at least a few degrees more charming than that guy.”
You rolled your eyes, still smiling. “God, you’re insufferable.”
“And yet,” he said, eyes flicking over to meet yours, “here you are. In my car. Laughing at my jokes. Questioning your life choices.”
You smirked. “I’ve made a lot of questionable life choices. You, however, are definitely not one of them.”
That earned you a curious look. “Oh yeah? What was the worst?”
You leaned your head back against the seat, sighing. “My ex was pretty bad. And… so was my family.”
That made his eyebrows tick up, but his voice stayed easy. “Oh yeah? Me and my old man used to go at it all the time when I was younger. We were like lit matches and gasoline.”
You let out a dry laugh. “Brother, for me. We lost our parents when I was still a kid. It just… unraveled after that.”
His smile faded. “I’m sorry,” he said, quieter now. “I know how that feels. I was adopted after losing both of mine.”
Your eyes met his, and in that moment, something unspoken passed between you. Grief, loss, understanding.
“I’m so sorry,” you said softly.
Dick offered a small smile. “Yeah. Me too. Me and my adoptive dad… we got better with time. And I gained some brothers along the way that I wouldn’t trade for anything—even if they drive me up the wall half the time.”
You huffed a small laugh. “Brothers are the bane of any existence.”
But the smile didn’t last. It slipped, just slightly, before you looked away. “Yeah, me and my brother never got to that point. But… I met Milo and Anthony. They’re practically my family now. Best friends a girl could ask for.”
Dick caught the shift in your tone—the careful way you redirected, the weight tucked behind your words. He didn’t push. He could tell you were still trying, still deciding how much of yourself to share. And he didn’t want to scare that trust away, even if you had information he needed.
“Well,” he said gently, “I hope I get to meet them one day. And properly thank them—for pushing you into going on that date with me.”
You snorted. “You say that now, but they’re nuts. Be prepared to be shamelessly objectified by Milo, who is already talking about rating your ass. Meanwhile, Anthony will be pouring drinks before you sit down and somehow get you blackout drunk on fruity cocktails.”
Dick grinned, completely unbothered. “My ass is out of this world. I welcome the judgment.”
You stared at him. “You want to be objectified?”
“I’m just saying—if Milo’s going to rate me, I want that five-star Yelp review.” He leaned back, smug as hell. “Bonus points if he uses the word phenomenal, juicy, perfect—”
“Oh my God, I get it!” you laughed, lightly smacking his shoulder.
He shot you a bright, unrepentant grin.
“Don’t worry,” he added smoothly, “he can admire it all he wants. You’re the only one who gets to touch it.”
Your laugh caught in your throat for half a second—equal parts flustered and amused.
“Oh my god,” you muttered again, this time under your breath, as heat crept up your neck.
Dick just wiggled his eyebrows. “I’m just setting expectations.”
“Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves,” you said, rolling your eyes—though the corner of your mouth tugged upward, betraying your smile. “You’re just lucky you’re not bad company, Grayson.”
He shot you a lazy grin. “Careful—keep talking like that, and I might start thinking you actually like having me around.”
You smiled to yourself as you looked out the window for a moment, watching Gotham slip past—familiar, but somehow quieter tonight. It was easy with him. Too easy.
The car rolled to a stoplight, and for a moment the only sound was the soft hum of jazz on the radio. You glanced out the window, but curiosity tugged your gaze back to him.
“So…” you started, lips curving. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going, or are you just hoping I’ll keep playing along out of sheer boredom?”
He tapped the steering wheel idly with one hand. “Where’s the fun in giving it away?”
You narrowed your eyes. “You realize this is how horror movies start, right?”
He chuckled. “Relax. No horror. No creepy cabin in the woods. No surprises in the trunk. Just a solid Plan B for people who hate galas.”
You raised a brow, intrigued despite yourself. “Plan B, huh?”
He shot you a quick grin as the light turned green. “Trust me. You’ll like it.”
And oddly… you did.
You didn’t question him as he parked, or when he came around to open your door with a conspiratorial smile. You didn’t pull away when he gently reached for your hand, guiding you across a quiet rooftop entrance, the night air brushing your skin. Instead, you found yourself smiling—giddy, uncharacteristically so—when he stepped behind you and carefully covered your eyes with his palms.
“You’re really committing to this,” you murmured.
“That’s how surprises work,” he said, his breath warm near your ear.
Surprisingly, you weren’t nervous. He held you steady, each step guided with care, and you knew—instinctively—that he wouldn’t let you fall. There was something grounding in the way he moved with you.
“Alright,” he murmured beside you, his voice low. “Ready?”
You nodded.
His hands slipped away.
It took a second for your eyes to adjust. But when they did, your breath caught.
A full trapeze rig stood before you, framed by a canopy of soft, golden fairy lights that glittered overhead like suspended stars. A soft projector spun slow, dreamy patterns of light across the floor—muted swirls of color like something out of a dream.
In the dim glow, a faded wooden sign came into view.
Haley’s Circus.
The space smelled faintly of chalk, clean rope, and wood polished with time. High ceilings arched above, draped in shadow, and at the center of it all—your very own private circus act.
You turned toward him, wide-eyed. “What is this?”
He stood with his hands in his pockets, watching your reaction like he was trying to memorize it.
“Just a place I come to,” he said quietly. “When I need time for myself.”
You looked back at the trapeze. At the soft glow of lights. The hush of the space. The quiet magic that lived in the bones of the building.
“This is…” you breathed, eyes wide as you took it all in. “It’s beautiful.”
Dick smiled—but it wasn’t the usual flirtatious grin he’d given you. This one was quieter. Softer. More earnest.
“You want to go up?” he asked.
Your head snapped toward him. “Wait—seriously?”
He nodded once, casually. “Why not?”
“I mean, I’ve never even touched one of those before,” you said, eyes darting to the trapeze rig. “Is that… safe?”
He stepped closer, voice low and easy. “Don’t worry. I’ll catch you.”
You blinked, his words settling into your chest like a promise with weight behind it. He wasn’t teasing. Wasn’t just showing off.
You studied him for a moment longer, then bit your lip—half-uncertain, half-thrilled. “Promise?”
His gaze didn’t waver. “Promise.”
And somehow, you believed him.
He guided you to the ladder, steadying you as you climbed. At the platform, he helped you position your hands on the trapeze bar, giving you a few quick instructions—his voice calm, confident, just enough to settle your nerves. Then he offered a wink and climbed down, making his way to the opposite swing.
You watched him move with fluid ease, like the rig was an extension of him. As he began to swing back and forth, his body weight shifting effortlessly, you let out a nervous laugh.
“Who knew you were a circus kid.”
He grinned mid-swing, his legs pumping effortlessly. “My secret talent. Now are you gonna keep stalling, or are you gonna swing?”
Your hands gripped the bar tighter. “You’re gonna catch me, right?”
“I’ve got you,” he said without hesitation.
You took a breath—deep and sharp—and jumped.
Air rushed past you as you swung forward. Across from you, Dick leaned back on his bar, flipping upside down like it was second nature.
“Let go!” he called.
With a small yell and your heart in your throat, you did.
For a split second, there was nothing—no ground, no sense of direction, just gravity yanking you down and adrenaline surging up. Then—
Strong hands caught your arms midair.
He caught you.
You dangled there, breathless, eyes wide, your weight suspended only by his grip. The two of you swung together for a moment, the motion smooth and steady.
Then he looked at you and smiled. “Ready?”
“For what?” you asked, still catching your breath.
He winked.
Before you could respond, he let go of the bar.
You shrieked, the sound breaking out of you in a wild, startled laugh as the two of you dropped in a freefall, crashing into the net below. Your body bounced high, weightless for one giddy moment before settling. Another laugh—pure delight this time—escaped you.
As the movement calmed, you rolled to the side just as he rolled toward you. Your arm found its way across his chest, anchoring you in the quiet aftermath. Breath mingled. Laughter faded. His body was warm beneath your arm, his pulse steady beneath your fingers.
You met his gaze, heart still racing for a very different reason now. You bit your lip—less out of nerves, more to keep yourself from smiling too much.
“Hi.”
His grin widened. “Hi.”
Your body leaned in before you could stop it, and he met you halfway, your lips met—softly at first, testing the waters. Dick’s kiss was gentle, teasing and curious. His hand slid behind your head, fingers threading through your hair as he deepened it, his body shifting closer until you felt the warmth of him press against you.
Then, with the kind of grace that should’ve been impossible on a net, he rolled the two of you over without breaking the kiss, settling above you. He smiled playfully into the kiss.
A quiet moan escaped your lips as his hands skimmed down your sides, slow and sure. You arched into him, your own hands exploring—chest, back, the lines of lean muscle beneath his shirt. Your fingers drifted toward his waistband, hungry for more—
But then his kiss faltered.
Just for a breath.
He shifted, pulling back slightly, just enough for you to notice. You froze, blinking up at him wondering if you did something wrong.
He sighed as if he was physically pained, forehead lowering until it rested against yours.
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he said quietly, his voice rough with restraint. “Because, trust me, I really want to. It’s just…” He exhaled slowly. “These last few years, I haven’t really dated anyone. It’s always just been quick,, sleep with them and move on. And I don’t want that with you.”
You stayed quiet, watching the emotion flicker across his face as he spoke.
“I like you,” he said, softer now. “And I want to do this right. Not some quick romp in public on a trapeze net—tempting as that is.”
Your expression softened. A slow smile formed as you leaned up and kissed him—gentle, grateful, warm. “That might be the sweetest thing anyone’s said to me.”
He smiled, a little bashful, a little relieved.
“I can wait,” you added with a wicked glint in your eye. “But just saying—fucking on a trapeze net could be fun. It’s pretty bouncy.”
Dick groaned and dropped his face into the crook of your neck. “You are an evil woman.”
You laughed, threading your fingers through his hair. “And yet, here you are.”
“Yeah,” he muttered, lips brushing your skin. “Here I am. Completely doomed.”
WAYNE MANSION
Dick was still riding the high from the night before when he strolled into the manor the next morning, hoodie half-zipped, grin practically glued to his face. He hadn’t slept much—and he didn’t care. Not after that date.
He was passing the kitchen when he spotted Duke slouched at the counter in pajamas, sleepily shoveling cereal into his mouth. The newest member of the family, still adjusting to life under a roof full of vigilantes. After what Joker did to his parents, no one blamed him for being guarded—but Dick liked him. He was smart, grounded, and had a good heart.
“Morning, Duke,” Dick greeted, casually reaching for the coffee pot.
“Hey, Dick. Cute date from last night,” Duke replied through a mouthful of cereal.
Dick froze mid-pour.
Slowly, very slowly, he turned toward the younger boy. “What?”
Duke blinked up at him confused, spoon halfway to his mouth. “Huh? Oh—Jason and Tim were watching your back. Y’know. Surveillance. Can never be too careful with people in Gotham.”
There was a pause. One heartbeat. Two.
Duke paused, frowning. “Everything okay?”
Dick forced a smile that was all teeth and no warmth. “Everything’s fine. And… yeah. She’s cute.”
Duke gave him a cautious nod, clearly sensing the shift but not quite sure why.
There was a beat of silence before Dick spoke again—sounding way too casual.
“Hey, are those two still around?” he asked, sipping his coffee. “Jason and Tim? Just wanna make sure they didn’t catch anything… concerning on surveillance.”
Duke hesitated. “Uh… yeah. Pretty sure they’re still in the cave.”
Dick nodded once, finishing the rest of his coffee in one long, controlled sip. “Great.”
Jason and Tim.
They were dead men.
“Thanks, Duke!”
“You’re… welcome?” Duke replied slowly, brows drawing together. But Dick was already gone.
Coffee mug still in hand like the picture of composure, Dick punched in the code and descended into the cave—cool air rising to meet him, fluorescent lights flickering to life as he reached the base of the platform.
He spotted them instantly.
Jason was leaned back in a chair, boots kicked up on the console, chewing on something that looked suspiciously like leftover gala dessert. Tim sat beside him, hunched over a monitor with his usual half-dead focus, a headset slung lazily around his neck. They looked comfortable.
They wouldn’t be for long.
“Morning,” Dick said pleasantly as he stepped into view, voice smooth as glass.
Jason rolled his eyes. “Morning.”
Tim smirked faintly over the rim of his mug. “Surprised you’re even awake.”
Dick smiled.
Jason blinked, eyebrows pulling together as he sat up slightly. “Wait—why are you smiling like that?”
“I was just thinking,” Dick said, stepping closer, still maddeningly calm. “How lucky I am to have two very thoughtful, very observant little brothers who care enough to watch my back.”
Jason and Tim exchanged a glance. A silent, oh-shit glance.
The smile dropped as he levelled a glare at them. “I can’t believe you two spied on my date. We had an agreement Jason!”
“It’s a good thing I was watching because you nearly broke our deal. You kissed her!” Jason fired back defensively.
“So did you!” Dick barked. “We agreed not to sleep with her—not that we couldn’t kiss her!”
Jason huffed, crossing his arms. “You were way more into it.”
“Oh, I’m sorry—should I not have been? Should I have called a time-out and asked for your permission?” Dick snapped, sarcasm curling sharp around every word. He huffed, shaking his head. “And what would you have done if there was some action? Called in the GCPD? Batman?”
“No!” Jason barked���but the beat of hesitation was just long enough.
Dick blinked, disbelief hitting hard. “I can’t believe you actually thought about it!”
“Maybe I’d take you out,” Jason muttered under his breath.
Dick’s eyes narrowed. “What was that?”
“Nothing!”
Before either of them could lunge, a voice cut through the tension like a batarang.
“Dick,” Bruce said as he strode into the cave, the weight of his presence immediately dragging the cave back into order. “What did you find out from her?”
Dick straightened immediately, his mouth opening—and then freezing.
Jason, of course, noticed.
A slow, smug grin curled at his mouth as he stepped to the side, folding his arms and practically glowing with glee. “Yeah, Dick,” he echoed mockingly. “What did you find out?”
Dick glared daggers at him before turning to Bruce, carefully schooling his tone. “I need more time. I can’t just ask about her brother outright—she barely knows me. And it’s obviously a sensitive topic.”
Bruce studied him with that unreadable Bat-stare, then gave a single, measured nod. “Fine. But don’t take too long.”
Dick exhaled, barely hiding his relief.
Then—
“You know her too?” Bruce asked, turning to Jason.
Jason blinked, then nodded casually. “Yeah. I’ve talked to her.”
Dick scoffed. Rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.
“Good,” Bruce said without missing a beat. “You look into it too. Better to have two people on the case.”
“B!” Dick’s voice shot up an octave as he whipped toward him, incredulous. “Are you seriously assigning him to this?!”
He’d been banking on this case as the perfect excuse—to spend time with her, to ease into trust, to keep Jason away under the neat cover of intel gathering. But now Jason had the same damn excuse.
“He’s already made contact,” Bruce said, completely unmoved. “We use the resources we have. We need to find her brother before Joker finds him first.”
Jason’s grin widened into a full-blown smirk. “Yeah, Dick,” he echoed, tone syrup-slick. “We use the resources we have.”
Dick’s jaw flexed, his gaze narrowing like he was weighing just how fast he could get away with a punch to the throat.
Jason clapped his hands together, “You got it, old man.”
Dick looked like he might actually throw something at him—batarang, chair, whatever was within reach—but Bruce was already turning away, heading back toward the elevator with the kind of finality that said discussion over.
Tim, still in his chair, popped a chip into his mouth and muttered under his breath, “This is better than HBO.”
“Don’t you dare enjoy this,” Dick hissed, his glare locked on Jason.
“Oh, I’m enjoying the hell out of this,” Jason said, practically vibrating with smug satisfaction. He leaned in just a little, voice lower, mock-conspiratorial. “Remind me what we said, Dickie? May the best man for her win, right?”
Dick’s jaw clenched.
Jason winked. Then turned on his heel and sauntered toward the bikes like he hadn’t just poured gasoline on a lit fire.
Tim didn’t look up from his screen. “You two do realize she’s probably going to kill you when she finds out about all of this… right?”
“Yup,” Jason called over his shoulder. “But its worth it.”
Dick exhaled sharply through his nose, dragging a hand down his face. He didn’t even want to think about what would happen when she inevitably found out.
Right now, between him and Jason…
This meant war.
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Taglist: @mei-simp, @sept3mberchild, @a-brilliante-mariposa, @feralwolfkat, @mercuryathens, @beepboopcowboy, @lordbugs, @coffeemin, @nikkeora, @yuyuti02, @oooof-ifellforyou, @neogogori, @thatoneloser8371, @rtyuy1346, @nkryuki, @tinybrie, @smithieandy, @yuhhh03, @kazuuhali, @saturnalya, @mrbrightsides25-blog, @kimm4710, @diseasedclitoris, @nutella-hitler, @saltyelise, @justheretochillabitlowkey, @sproutytoad, @uselessnewt, @itsmekalou, @whorrorbellee, @starstruckkenobi, @corpsedogs, @yan-love-reader, @alishii, @sugugori, @gojosnutgobbler
#dick grayson#jason todd#dick grayson x reader#jason todd x reader#jason todd x reader x dick grayson#batfam#batman#red hood#nightwing#dc universe#dcu#this means war#dick grayson x you#dick grayson x y/n#richard grayson#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#robin#dc robin#red robin#joker#dc joker#scarecrow#batfam x reader#batfamily x reader#nightwing x reader#damian wayne#tim drake#nightwing x you#nightwing x y/n
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Wow first of all I'd just like to say thank you for all the love I got on this inverted ballpoint pen piece in the last few days!! 🥺
I got the inevitable wave of people asking me how I made it and lucky for y'all I had to take a lot of progress pictures to make this so I'm making a post about how I drew this!
See more under the cut!
Starting off of course we have the sketch of our subject in pencil

Then, following the inverted version of my reference image I slowly start building up layers of inverted colour. What I'm drawing irl is on the left, and the inverted version of that is on the right.

You can tell I was nervous at first not wanting to mess it up lol

This piece really helped me grasp the importance of undertones in a way I never have before

Here I started getting Really excited about how it was gonna turn out I couldn't believe I was making this with my own 2 hands

Believe it or not working in inverted colours with ballpoint pen is actually 10x easier than working in normal colours because with ballpoint pen once you've added too much ink you can't undo it you can't make it any lighter, but when you're going to invert the image at the end it's a lot more forgiving because the dark areas become the bright areas when it's inverted!

Don't get me wrong though it took a lot of focus and like brain power to draw in inverted colours, it was like learning how to ride a backwards bicycle, it took all my concentration to not follow my brains natural instincts and muscle memory when it came to creating the colours I wanted to create 😵💫

Nearly finished at this point, just needed some colour adjustments

The final check for the colours before I added the finishing touches and scanned the final piece and voila!!
You have an inverted ballpoint pen tiger 🤯 It's really not as hard as it looks, it's just a lot of layering and a lot of patience 🙏🙏
I had like 15 more progress pictures but unfortunately I can only upload 10 pictures in a post so I tried to order them in a way that showed the most key points in my process 😅 If you have any questions feel free to ask I love helping out fellow artists learn new skills!!
#artists of tumblr#artist#ballpoint pen#ballpoint pen art#traditional art#tiger#drawing#pen art#art process#my art#how I drew this#art tutorial#kind of#darkmasterofdragons#wild cat#big cat#panthera tigris#inverted art
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⛧𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 | 𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐝 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞


(A/n) : Hiii !! In honor of the big mouth fandom coming back to life and the Judd fans craving fics about him (me included) , I hereby want to promote my fan fiction written on wattpad that I'll be working on now ! I will also be writing for Judd on this blog , but those will be shorter works. I hope you'll support me and take a liking to the fic <3 This is the prologue of the fic , enjoy! art credits go to @/nofun.com on tik tok!
⛧Synopsis : In which Judd , a notorious troublemaker and rebel , feels an emotion for the first time he never really felt before or thought was capable of feeling ── Love. It was weird , strange and unfamiliar ── he never really felt anything other than the need to cause chaos, for once in his life , he felt alive. But that wasn't the issue , the issue was that he felt those feelings to someone he barely knew ── (Y/n) Glaser , the big sister of that little red haired kid who liked him. One glance of her was enough to get him curious and he wanted to know more about her.
There was a lot of noises outside of his own four walls , his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance — the fuck was the deal with all that commotion outside? His head was throbbing , the aftermath of the whole bottle of Jack daniels he had drank during the night hitting him hard with a hangover. Closing his eyes , he tried to just tune the sounds out and go back to sleep , but Nick's laughter was just making his head hurt even more and his annoyance deepened. With a grunt , he dragged himself out of his bed and threw a shirt on , fingers running through his hair as he made his way downstairs to check what in the world was going on.
His blood pressure got higher out of annoyance when he saw his brothers little friends huddled around in the living room , his frown deepening on his already grim looking face — but there was someone that caught his eye , someone he had never seen before, since when was his little brother friends with older girls? Whoever that was , he felt sorry for them since Nick seemed to be pretty interested in the girl, who wouldn't want a "whiny little bitch" leeching on you?
"Y'all better the shut the fuck up or I'll cut your tongues out", his voice was gruff and raspy due to having just woken up , his feet carrying him over to the fridge to get a cold bottle of water , maybe that could clear his mind. He could feel it , he could feel Jessi's stare on him but he ignored it — just a silly crush of a kid , he doesn't care. "Oh Juddy , be nice honey, we have a guest over here! Her name is (Y/n), she's Jessi's big sister", Diane said with a smile on her face, her soothing voice and gentle way of wording just making him grunt in response. His eyes glanced at you, seeing you looking over at him and offer him a small wave which he just ignored. "Didn't ask or care . Shut your mouths, I'm trying to sleep", he grumbled , closing the fridge and heading back to the stairs so he could go back up , but he momentarily got stopped by his dad trying to hug him which he just dodged while mumbling "nope" under his breath. He just wanted to sleep in peace and get his dumb hangover off of his back.
"Wow , quite the sunshine you have there Miss Birch", your voice ... it was melodic yet filled with sarcasm and made him pause in his steps , his head looking over his shoulder to look back at where you sat — maybe taking a look for once wasn't so bad. You didn't have red hair like Jessi , your hair was (h/c) and (h/l) — he could see that your ears were pierced through the strands of hair. For some reason , just looking at the back of your figure was enough to get him curious , but just a little bit.
"Come on Judd ! One proper look wouldn't hurt!! I got a good look on her and damn mama, she got a nice pair of milk jugs!", his hormone monster , Maury , tried to encourage him to go back , his clawed hands pressing his own tits together to express his words better. Judd just grunted and pushed Maury out of his way to go back to sleep.
#judd birch#judd x reader#judd birch x reader#judd birch smut#judd smut#big mouth#big mouth x reader#big mouth smut#big mouth judd
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YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THAT! ; F1 GRID
f1 grid x driver!reader . . . gen z f1 driver ranks previous crushes in f1 in a new tiktok video that sends fans in a coma /real
amgf well well well, guess who's back (hopefully) uhm i'm enrolled and officially an intern 😀👍 we love to see that, i made this before hungary i think? but yeah, i have too many drafts and no will to write, i'm blaming the new season in wild rift 😋 and because i've been busy with the internship thingy... a lot of seminars and preparations to do sooooo i hope you enjoy this like always

yourusername uploaded a new video
. . . view 736,937 comments
user73 hello? came running from twt, everyone talking about this
user62 i thought people were making a big deal on twt like usual but this is actual next levels of insane
user32 yn was bored with summer break and decided to break the internet and possibly the team's pr manager
user50 i relate because i too am not immune to blond hair and blued eyed men...
landonorris i think you forgot to message one more driver on the grid...
→ yourusername you're right @/yukitsunoda0511 i had a crush on you before 😌☝️
→ landonorris i meant a british driver on the grid...
→ yourusername alex is already there???
→ landonorris a mclaren driver perhaps.....
→ yourusername oh my gosh you reminded me!!!! i definitely had a really tiny crush on mclaren @/carlossainz 😋🫶
→ yourusername look lando i specifically said in the second slide that if you're not there then i probably hated you, people said you have poor reading comprehension, didn't think it'd be true 🫤
user38 cleared lando fr!!!!!!
user93 no charles leclerc, max verstappen, daniel ricciardo? fraud 🤥
→ user05 wtf not everyone likes them????
→ user17 y'all it's not that deep, this is yn's crush ranking why are y'all projecting////
georgerussell catching strays on a post about you having a crush on alex before????
→ yourusername oh well... i say it the way i see it and i see the way you look at alex 🙄🙏
logansargeant well well well
→ yourusername shut up logan 🙄
→ oscarpiastri no... but this is interesting ✍️ ain't it @/logansargeant?
→ yourusername shut your traps, i didn't give y'all exclusive content for you to run your mouth online
→ user48 honey i fear you're already running your mouth enough 🥹
user72 is no one taking about the mick one???? like??? i'm thinking about their f3 and f2 moments now and i see it
→ user49 OMG!NNN exactly! i get it now, the tension when they're together
jensonbutton reading your message at 2am asking for permission is not something i expected, my question though is... am i p1?
→ yourusername technically you're p-last atm but considering you're my first f1 crush i guess you're p1
→ jensonbutton i see... one rank higher than @/nicorosberg 👍
→ nicorosberg is this what catching strays mean @/yourusername?
→ yourusername yes 😭
dennis_hauger this is not what i said to you, i'm about to sue for defamation
→ yourusername you can't do that, i need a wag to bring for races
→ dennis_hauger i'm racing too?
→ yourusername and?
user85 mr dennis hauger??? did we miss three chapters here?
→ user69 no!!! they've been going at it since the beginning look up the 2022 f2 season
→ user03 there are various compilations in youtube and in yn's youtube channel !!!!
mickshumacher what is this? this is not what you sent me?
→ yourusername is it slander yn day? i'm out here airing my business and y'all say i'm a fraud istg
→ mickshumacher hahahahahaha but i agree with everything you said, i felt the same way
→ yourusername hello? when was this?
→ mickshumacher probably three, four years ago? same year with you, things didn't just work out
→ yourusername dang so you could've been my wag? ngl glad it's not you 😂🫵
→ mickshumacher i agree, who would want to be with you atp
→ yourusername slander and defamation?????
→ mickshumacher well who doesn't have a wag now? exactly, not me
yourusername wow i made this so we could have fun, but now everyone is just making fun of me, might as well delete this before the PR team sees this 😮💨
→ user52 noooooo please keep this up
→ user17 this is actually very slayful if you!!! don't ❌❌ let 🫵 the haters 🤡😈💩 stop 🛑✋ you
→ user28 this is actually what we want this summer, i'm begging 🧎♀️🧎♀️🧎♀️

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how you get the girl | pt.2
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: what is up with your ex-situationship's timing?
a/n: time to lock in and actually work on this fic LOL.
part one / part two
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yourinstagram to new beginnings
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lilyzneimer will miss having you as a neighbor </3
yourinstagram oh but lily no distance could separate us yourinstagram i'll call you so often you'll get sick of me lilyzneimer you already do yourinstagram oh. so.
hattiepiastri what happened to "catch flights not feelings"
yourinstagram in the making of this post no feelings were caught hattiepiastri but you are catching a flight yourinstagram it's for my freaking job let me BREATHE
yourfriend chef ramsey
yourinstagram ❤️ come over and i'll let you try some, they're sooo good
lando missing you in shanghai
yourinstagram you called me hours minutes ago lando wish you'd come visit yourinstagram what, are we in an established relationship? hattiepiastri OOOH CLOCKED!!
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yourinstagram home is where the heart is
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yourfriend so much fun with you!
yourinstagram can't believe we live so close now
hattiepiastri but i'm literally in aus.
yourinstagram didn't say where my home was, read the caption again hattiepiastri sorry queen ☹️
lando but that's not where mine is?
yourinstagram lando have you been listening to ts recently lando maybe yourinstagram didn't peg you for a lover boy @/oscarpiastri come here lilyzneimer don't make fun of his music taste yourinstagram who, oscar's? don't you worry, i was just sharing information so oscar could bully lando oscarpiastri Thanks, mate. yourinstagram good lad! lando ...
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deuxmoi Well, what do we think?
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user1 cheating already? gah. men.
user2 well maybe kylie's had a change of mind we never know. might be an inside joke or something
user3 she VEHEMENTLY hates green user4 wow fancy vocab user2 i'm just saying, maybe there's another meaning.
user5 are we sure its timothee
user6 ma'am this is a wendy's
user7 where even was he
user8 he posted his poker night at chateau marmont then dipped so no idea user9 on his story he posted a pic at an airport so prob not in LA anymore
user10 what was that girl he was hooking up with called again? swore i heard her talking in one of her tiktoks how she loved green
user11 that's crazy user12 delulu 101 user13 think her name was y/n or something just google it
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yourinstagram me rn
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lilyzneimer ...what now
yourinstagram TURN OFF DND AND RESPOND TO ME
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tiktok
@/chalametss timothee and kylie spotted at a concert
user1 guess it was an inside joke after all
user2 what user3 there was a rumor going around that he was buying stuff in her least favorite color user4 what even are these theories
user5 mom i don't like what i'm seeing
yourtiktok @/lilyztiktok bro this comment has been deleted
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lando Shanghai P4. Not the best pace today. We got off to a bad start but made what we could. Good job, Oscar.
user1 ohhh the first pic
user2 ovaries just exploded
user3 lando norizz who? he looks at me like that and i drop dead
user4 You got it mate
oscarpiastri Thanks Lando!
user5 mclaren's 2025 wdc + wcc
yourinstagram congrats! wish i could've been there
lando come to suzuka? user6 @/maguiwhateverheruseris keep an eye on your man user7 she's actually really pretty...why y'all hating? user8 no one's hating?? yourinstagram i'll see
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yourinstagram insert motivating gym quote
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hattiepiastri oooh SPICY
yourinstagram 💓💋
lilyzneimer i approve of p3 wholeheartedly
yourinstagram almost forgot i had him blocked for a moment and worried that he'd see it lilyzneimer what are you worrying about?? you don't owe him anything
lando coming?
lando to suzuka? yourinstagram why'd you phrase it like that lando 😉 oscarpiastri Can you guys not. yourinstagram pop off oscar, tell him off lando 😔
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a/n: got kinda messy...
#lando norris x reader#formula one x reader#formula one#f1 x reader#f1#f1 smau#lando norris#timothée chalamet#timothee x you#oikarma ᯓᡣ𐭩
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«★Another nightfury?★»
~Hiccup x reader (w a nightfury!)~
Summery - hiccup is exploring a new island when he finds you, and much to his and toothless's surprise they find another nightfury, aka your dragon~ hiccup is excited to get to know this mysterious dragon rider and their dragon
Warnings - nothing serious besides possible spelling errors, your dragon is a female nightfury (no specific name tho!) your unfamiliar with normal things like toothless's saddle, I think I kept it gn but if I accidentally added fem pronouns plz let me know so I can fix it! Also sorta short?
If this ends up being confusing for some of y'all here's a link to a post I made that kinda sums up what this short series is gonna be about :]
★click here★
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Hiccup and toothless have been flying for hours now in search for new islands to explore or new dragon species to try and study from a distance.
"there's gotta be something out here bud.."
Hiccup mutters as he looks around the expanse of sea they have been flying over for about an hour now, earning a small grunt from toothless
"what do you think we'll find out here? Some new kind of dragon or maybe even another nightfury? Wouldn't that be something huh bud?"
Toothless's ear flaps suddenly perk up but not to hiccups words as he suddenly dives down closer to the water, picking up speed
"WHOA! What are you doing??"
Toothless pays no mind to hiccup as he stays focused on whatever scent he picked up in the air, keeping a high speed
Eventually a small island came into view and toothless lands into the nearest clearing, sniffing at the ground as hiccup gets off of toothless's back to look around the new area
"wow...this plays looks untouched by well... Anything.."
The plants were growing high and thick, not a single dragon in sight so far besides toothless who as still following a scent purposely
Hiccup follows toothless deeper into the island since he can't seem to talk toothless out of it, to focused on finding whatever he's looking for which leads him to another clearing seemingly in the middle of the island
Then he sees you
"whoa- what's a person doing all the way out here? There hasn't been a village for miles.."
Hiccup mutters to himself mostly as he comes to a stop, toothless stoping a few feet ahead of him
Thankfully the brush is thick enough to hide him and his dragon from view
You were just collecting berries and fruits peacefully and putting them into fabric pouch that was old and worn
"maybe we should go say hi"
Hiccup says as I starts to walk forward and introduce himself to you before something moves in the brush in front of you, something unmistakably dragon
"what do you think d/n (dragon name) think we've got enough fruits to last a few days?"
Your dragon lets out a small noise in response as she steps out into the clearing, stretching like she just woke up from a nap
Hiccup was frozen as soon as he seen the dragon, the nightfury, and before he could even think of doing anything toothless was already striding forward with an excited and curious roar
The sudden noise makes you and your dragon turn to toothless's direction, your dragon gets slightly defensive but curious as she stays close to you
You slowly approach toothless with a confused look
"hello there.. how'd you get all the way out here? Aren't you supposed to be-"
Your cut off mid sentence as you lock eyes with hiccup who still stood stunned
You tensed up on instinct and instantly went to stand between the the two nightfurys and hiccup, holding up a old looking dagger in defence
"stay back!"
"Whoa- whoa-! I'm not here to hurt you! Or your dragon!"
I look at him confused before toothless makes a small grunt noise twords hiccup, looking between him and your dragon with a look that says 'look another nightfury!' practically bouncing with excitement
On the other hand your dragon locks her focus on hiccup with a defensive and wild look, standing close to you with a small growl
When you don't say anything hiccup speaks up again in awe and nerves ness
"uh- I'm hiccup....and that's my dragon toothless.."
"your dragon?"
You look back at toothless and just then notice the saddle that was on his back, and the odd thing on his tail that you've never seen before
"your dragon is beautiful by the way.."
Hiccup says, snapping you out of your thoughts, he steps forward slightly with his hand carefully extend out twords your dragon resulting her to growl and spread her wings in a threatening manner
"whoa! D/n!"
You quickly put your hand against her about to stop her before she could try to attack hiccup, who quickly backed away
"sorry..she doesn't exactly like people.."
"don't worry I get it"
He says with an embarrassed chuckle, toothless on the other hand walked back over to him with his excited smile
"It's amazing to see another dragon rider all the way out here, especially one who rides a nightfury"
Hiccup says to change the subject, still looking at you and your dragon in amazement
"here we thought toothless was the last of his kind, ain't that right bud?"
He says as he scratches toothless's head, receiving a grunt like noise in response from the dragon
You stay quiet for a few moments, unsure about how to continue talking with hiccup, or even hold a normal conversation
"uh....what's that on your dragons back?"
You mutter as you examine toothless's saddle, toothless lifts his head and sniffs at you, demanding some attention that he was quick to receive from you
"his saddle?"
He says in a confused voice, as you curiously look at the saddle, and he carefully walks over to the other side of toothless, gently dragging his hand up his back and wing
"have you never seen one before?"
You shake your head, glancing up at hiccup, your dragon huffed next to you and glares daggers in hiccups direction who trys his best to ignore it
"no, what's it for? Seems useless to me"
"it makes it a lot either to stay on a dragons back while flying, this one also helps toothless fly actually"
"he needs help flying?"
Hiccup nods awkwardly and leads you down to the dragons tail, gently lifting he fake tail fin that was painted a bright red and a white marking you've never seen before
"how'd this happen to him?"
"it's uh....long Story.."
He laughs nervously again and glances over at your dragon who tried over to your side, still glaring heavily at hiccup
"....did you make this?"
You run your hand over the fake fin before glancing up at him, the question catching him slightly off guard before a proud grin appeared on his face
"yep! All by myself actually, we fly everywhere together around berk and just about anywhere else"
"Berk?"
"yea, that's my village, were vikings and dragons live together in peace"
"there's a whole village with Vikings and dragons together?"
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I'm not sure how much I like the start of this but oh well, let me know if yall want a part two! I'll try to add more romance and stuff later on, it's my first time with making a slow burn thing
I'd also appreciate tips and or suggestions for the story, if you wanna see something in here js let me know and I'll try to tie it in at some point of the Story! :]
One more thing, should I add a antagonist to the Story? Maybe the villain from the last movie or maybe just make up a villain? Or just no villain at all Id love some feedback
Taglist
@fries11
It's my first time doing a tag list so if I did something wrong I'm sorry and plz let me know :]
#hiccup haddock x reader#hiccup x reader#hiccup haddock#httyd hiccup#fic series#did i do this right?#i did a thing#hiccup x you#httyd x reader
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