#listen...yes i reblog myself...BECAUSE OF FIC RECS

[blouisparadise]

We recently received a request for a new non-Larry rec list. If you missed our first two, you can find them here and here. We hope you enjoy this list and show all of these fics some love. If you want us to continue making rec lists, please be sure to show support by liking and reblogging this post to help spread the word. Happy reading!

1) Far From Reality | Louis/Henry Cavill | Explicit | 1,138 words

Henry and Melissa looked like the perfect couple. Nothing could be further from the truth. Because the most famous relationship of the moment couldn't be more fake, a simple trick to pretend. A strategy to hide the fact that the great tycoon, Henry Cavill, was fucking the rock star of the moment, Louis Tomlinson.

2) On The Borderline Tonight | Louis/Ethan Hawke | Mature | 1,470 words

Louis is an artist in need of inspiration. He finds it one sunny afternoon in a Brooklyn coffee shop.

3) Partition | Louis/Liam Payne | Explicit | 1,553 words

Harry, Zayn, and Niall took one limo to the premier and Louis and Liam took the other. What Liam didn't know was that Louis had just been listening to Beyoncé...lets say, he was feeling inspired...

4) In Your Arms Tonight | Louis/Henry Cavill | Explicit | 1,692 words

Louis closed his eyes and let the music move him where it wanted him to go. He was feeling relaxed, almost peaceful when an arm snaked around his torso. He gasped as he was rocked back into a man’s larger body. “You’re gorgeous” the man’s voice whispered in his ear, gravelly and low.

5) Say Yes To Heaven | Louis/Ethan Hawke | Mature | 2,818 words

Later when he’s back at the apartment with Oli, as Louis is somewhat dreamily waxing poetic about Ethan, Oli interrupts.- “Does he quote Shakespeare when you fuck?” he asks, poking at the sizzling eggs on the stove. Louis’ cheeks turn suspiciously pink. Oli peers at his face. “Oh my god, he DOES. I KNEW IT.” He triumphantly brandishes his spatula in the air.

6) A Sudden Desire | Louis/Agent Whiskey Explicit | 2,558 words

Save a horse, ride a cowboy.

7) Sweeter By The Day | Louis/Pedro Pascal | Explicit | 2,673 words

"Never felt this sensation, a kiss to every scar, eclipse my expectations, shock to my heart" - Hayley Williams A one shot about domesticity, coffee, and love.

8) I Miss You, I'm Sorry | Louis/Zayn Malik | Explicit | 2,871 words

Louis spends some time with Zayn in his hotel room after his LA show. they smoke. they fuck.

9) Bet On It | Louis/OMC | Explicit | 2,945 words

“We should make a bet,” Louis says out loud, waiting for Dante to look up from his tablet and see Louis’ pouty lips. “Not a fucking chance.”

10) Give Me Life, Give Me Pain, Give Me Myself Again | Louis/Joel Miller | Explicit | 2,951 words

Joel can’t give Louis everything he needs, but it’s enough for the night.

11) Heaven Beneath His Skin | Louis/Henry Cavill | Mature | 3,251 words

Louis is a petite farmboy who fell in love for the first time.

12) Yours Is The Only Ocean | Louis/Tom Hardy | Explicit | 3,390 words

In which Louis finds out the man he pulled at a club turns out to be famous UK wrestler and boxer, Tom Hardy.

13) Take Me Somewhere, With A World Less Silent | Louis/Dev Patel | Explicit | 3,429 words

Louis' boyfriend comes home earlier than expected from a trip. Domesticity and fluffiness ensue.

14) To Reach A Port We Must Set Sail | Louis/Henry Cavill | Explicit | 3,907 words

On holiday in Southern Italy, Louis and Henry go on a special outing.

15) Flame Colored Paradise | Louis/Mads Mikkelsen | Explicit | 3,282 words

A side smirk widened Mads’ lips. He looked like a sight straight from heaven in his dark three-piece suit, hair in perfect place, a relaxed look on his face, as if he hasn’t had a hard-on for the last half an hour. Louis loved how Mads was always perfectly composed, never a single strand of hair out of place. He could have his whole cock buried in Louis, with the boy falling to pieces in front of him, but not a single drop of sweat would dampen his face.

16) Sun And Summer Wind | Louis/Oscar Isaac | Explicit | 3,934 words

Louis and Oscar, Guatemala, archaeology, and (something like) dancing.

17) Softer Than Satin | Louis/Joel Miller | Explicit | 4,077 words

“Wanna go back to bed,” Louis whispered languidly, voice partly muffled by his boyfriend’s lips on his. “Mm, but we just got up, baby,�� Joel murmured. Lips touching softly with each syllable. Hands groping the soft flesh around Louis’ hips, kneading at the skin there and feeling his curves.

18) Not To Be Disturbed | Louis/Zayn Malik | Mature | 4,078 words

Zayn Malik is on tour in Frankfurt in 2018 and by chance runs into Louis at a coffee shop. An innocent time of reconnecting and escaping the pressures of stardom finds both opening up to long held feelings the latter strongly harbors but is shy to submit to.

19) I Had No Doubt In My Mind | Louis/Pedro Pascal | Explicit | 4,165 words

“She could’ve just talked to me, we could’ve found a way. I don’t understand why it has to be like this,” Oscar looked up at Louis, eyes shining with unshed tears. Louis felt for him, he didn’t know what he’d do with himself if Pedro just left one day. He couldn’t even imagine a life without him by his side after so many years together. “There’s nothing you can do right at this moment, love, so the best thing is to relax and rest, try to take your mind off of it for a little bit,” Louis said, hoping his tone and smile came off as sympathetic.

20) P Is For | Louis/Pedro Pascal | Explicit | 4,394 words | Sequel

Louis and Pedro, winter in New York, a coffee machine, and bilingualism.

21) I Want Yesterdays Love | Louis/Dev Patel | Explicit | 4,789 words

“We’re going on holiday before the term starts again,” Oli announces in their kitchen the day after the art opening. Louis looks up from his cereal bowl. “Who is we?” “I’ve rented us a cottage near the beach. Me, you, Calvin, Rick, and Dev.” Louis makes a noncommittal noise but can’t deny his heartbeat racing at the mention of Dev.

22) Depth Of Oceanic Gunfire | Louis/Henry Cavill | Not Rated | 5,138 words

After she left, Henry finds Louis crumpled amongst the white linen sheet like a wilted lily, nose red and lips trembling as he reaches up to kiss Henry. In the corner of the room, he saw his father raise his hand at the cowering figure of a blue-eyed ten-year-old. He kisses Henry and as the field somewhere blooms in blood and smoke and gunpowder, he thinks this is how much I love you. They come to escort Henry a week later. The world lets out a pained scream somewhere.

23) Where Art Thou? Why Not Uponeth Me? | Louis/Jacob Elordi | Explicit | 5,408 words

"Did you need anything in particular?" Jacob asked again, eyes not quite meeting hers. Louis then decided to tease. "Particularly, yes. A question perhaps.” This is going to be fun. Louis thought. "So how did this," she rattled the handcuffs for emphasis, "get in the possession of your belongings, hm?" Louis asked sultrily.

24) Sweet Dreams Turn Into Coffee In The Morning | Louis/Henry Cavill | Explicit | 5,675 words

Louis has spent most of his early adult life taking care of his adopted niece, Avery. When she goes away to boarding school, he starts to realize what he's been missing has been right in front of him.

25) Down Comes The Night | Louis/Pedro Pascal | Explicit | 5,974 words |

A love story set in the 18th century. Pedro is a painter, commissioned to create a wedding portrait of Louis, a young man who has just left the convent. Louis is a reluctant spouse to be and Pedro must paint him without his knowledge.

26) Wicked Games | Louis/Liam Payne | Explicit | 6,541 words

Liam is a very high end prostitute and Louis lives across the hall from him.

27) Take A Ride Into The Danger Zone | Louis/Jensen Ackles | Explicit | 7,561 words

“You’re so tiny and weak, you could never be anything other than the submissive little pillow princess you are.” Jensen teased, moving Louis’ wrists to hold them with one hand only as he used his now free hand to grab and knead at Louis’ meaty bum, he brought the boy closer so he was sat on top of his bulge. “I would never know if I’d be good at domming because you never let me try!” The boy whined, squirming in Jensen’s lap, trying to set himself free from his boyfriend’s large hands.

28) Cold Spring | Louis/Pedro Pascal | Explicit | 8,260 words

Louis is a coffee shop owner and Pedro is his newest customer.

29) Maybe. | Louis/Zayn Malik | Mature | 8,963 words

“Here again to start fights with your petty insults, Tomlinson?” Zayn seethed and Louis raised his eyebrows. “Mate, chill,” he said, his insides charged up as he felt Luke’s arm wrap around his waist from behind, “Who said I was talking about you?”

30) Running Is Different Than Going | Louis/OMC | Explicit | 9,018 words

On the run, the last thing Michael expects from a stranger is help. Louis offers him everything he needs so he can keep running, but makes it harder than ever to continue doing so.

31) Let's Break The Internet | Louis/OMC | Explicit | 9,505 words

“I’ll tell you what,” Sam leans forward in his chair and steeples his fingers in front of his face, “If you actually make an account and sell nudie pics and porn for more than three months, I’ll believe you.” Louis purses his lips, ignoring the returning blush on his cheeks at the thought of having to film himself in compromising positions or taking photos of himself without any clothes on. Raising his chin defiantly, Louis accepts the challenge. “Fine,” he agrees, “But when I win, you have to make one too.” Lips quirked, Sam nods and holds out a hand, “Deal.”

32) The Devil's Backbone | Louis/Pedro Pascal | Mature | 9,735 words

1925. Louis has escaped an abusive relationship and seeks to lay low in Montana. When a hit is put out on him by his ex lover, he makes an unlikely alliance and finds more than he ever dared hope for.

33) Lights Go Down | Louis/Zayn Malik | Explicit | 10,449 words

Louis is in need of the perfect dom, and the best dom in the club has just parted ways with his regular sub. Can Louis be the sub Zayn wants?

34) Over My Shoulder | Louis/Sebastian Stan | Explicit | 10,960 words

The media thinks omega singer Louis Tomlinson is dating alpha actor Sebastian Stan because they bump into each other all the time. Everything changes when they accidentally bond.

35) My Home Is Your Body | Louis/Henry Cavill | Explicit | 15,341 words

He had seen who had made his senses go haywire. His ex was in the front row, five feet in front of him. He felt his eyes on him even as he mechanically made his way to the end of the runway, hoping to God he didn’t look like a maniac. Everything was a blur. He somehow managed to walk the rest of the way without falling or emoting anything. Why was he HERE? Of all places.

36) House Of Stone, Your Ivy Grows | Louis/Mads Mikkelsen | Explicit | 16,391 words

Louis is a lonely queen married to an odious and imopotent king. Everything changes when he meets the new royal physician.

37) After Hours | Louis/Pedro Pascal | Explicit | 16,704 words

Louis Tomlinson is many things. A dancer, a barista, a one time con man. He's rarely experienced a good romantic relationship with a man but that's all about to change when he starts working at a nightclub in Texas.

38) At Some Distant Star | Louis/Pedro Pascal | Explicit | 17,999 words

Louis Tomlinson was hired to harvest gems on a planet he'd never been to. When his pod crashes and strands him on the planet, he meets a fellow explorer with an agenda of his own.

39) Let Me In | Louis/Zayn Malik | Explicit | 24,069 words

Louis and Zayn begin messing around on tour in 2014, but Zayn's getting ready to make a decision that he knows is going to change everything, possibly for good. They just have to believe that they can make it.

40) All Tumults And Feelings | Louis/Carlos Sainz J | Explicit | 24,458 words

The search for euphoria in a world that seems to be spinning out of control is perhaps what drove Louis to visit the heart of a city as vibrant as Barcelona. Everything is warm and bright on his holidays, even at night, where he finds solace in desperate lips and comfort in beautiful brown eyes that break his heart by making him realize that he has always been more fond of emerald tones covering the irises of his lovers.

41) Gave Me No Compasses, Gave Me No Signs | Louis/OMC | Explicit | 24,862 words

Beautiful, smart and wealthy, Louis Tomlinson navigates his way through misguided matches, romantic missteps and the challenges of inner truth -- all to finally realize the love that has been there all along.

42) By Such Slight Ligaments | Louis/Henry Cavill | Explicit | 26,764 words

A late night visit to a patient sets off a series of events that will turn Louis' world upside down.

43) Under Thorn And Bramble | Louis/OMC | Explicit | 31,931 words

Prompt 445: A historical AU where Louis is working as a servant on a farm. The family that owns the farm is exceedingly cruel to him and he is often exhausted and in pain from his work. A mysterious stranger boards at the farm and is very intrigued by Louis, but Louis doubts his interest in genuine. Any pairing fine.

44) Inside Your Bones | Louis/OMC | Explicit | 43,550 words

Louis keeps trying to make peace with his past, but it’s hard when the past is all too present.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[fabled-lady-twilla]

Same anon who voted for the Paranormal Romance thing

I know I'm plotting out some Omegaverse stuff for ShigaDeku because there's a slew of untapped potential there over on AO3 (and yes, I checked. Most of them aren't hitting it for me so I have to do it myself using my own headcanons)

So good luck with yours!

Thank you for the continued support and conversation, I love yapping about my story ideas as well as listening to other people's ideas too!

I'm right there with you on searching AO3 for a ShigaDeku fic that just 'hits right' haha. It's hard when there isn't a huge source of content for rarepair ships... I am legitimately so jealous of all the content BakuDeku fans have to choose from. (I'm a BakuDeku shipper too but ShigaDeku is THE ONE for me, lol).

I have a bunch of ShigaDeku Omegaverse fic recs if you're interested but you may have already read some if you've scoured AO3 for some.

Sometimes, we have to be the ones to write the fic we need/crave so that it provides us with the satisfaction of a story hitting all of the tropes/genres/plots twists that we love and want in a fic.

I'd love to hear more about your story ideas too, so don't be shy if you ever want to bounce any ideas back and forth with a fellow ShigaDeku fan (whether you want private message me or remain anon is totally fine). I'm also in a ShigaDeku discord group too. 😊

I wish you luck with your story as well and would love to reblog/review/support/comment whenever you post it! 💚💚💚💚

[anincompletelist]

hello friend :) 7, 9, 18, and 21 for the writer asks please and thank you 💕💕

HELLO SWEET FRIEND :D I adore you thank you for asking hehe <333

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7: what's the story or fic you're most excited to work on or share next year?

YOU KNOW THIS ALL TOO WELL BUT PROBABLY BRIDESMAIDS! it is very much me in fic form which is both terrifying and liberating so I very much hope it's received well

(IF I HAVEN'T MENTIONED IT ENOUGH @firenati0n I OWE YOU MY LIFE FOR INSPIRING ME TO FINISH THIS FIC)

9: what's a scene you wrote this year that you're particularly fond of?

hmm wips excluded, I have quite a few that I enjoyed writing but currently I'm pretty proud of the scene in the stairwell in bond fic because I hardly ever write action scenes or anything like this in general! I took a lot of creative risks with this one and I really like how it turned out! (and also the henry/nora friendship in this one kjshkdsh)

18: do you have a fic that you wish received more attention?

listen. I am shocked when ANY of my fics get a lot of attention and am so grateful as-is but I WILL say that this fic is extremely important to me and I have a major soft spot for it. I think - despite the fact that most of us probably aren't members of the monarchy - it has a lot of feelings and situations that a lot of people will be able to relate to or see themselves in!

(YES I JUST SELF RECCED THIS A FEW DAYS AGO IN A SEPARATE ASK. NO YOU CAN'T STOP ME !!)

21: not a question, but a challenge! say something nice about your writing!

AHA I HAVE ALREADY ANSWERED THIS ONE and you can NOT trick me into saying nice things about myself TWICE!!

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[here's the link to the questions if you'd like to reblog and play along, or send me an ask!]

[allwaswell16]

I posted 13,712 times in 2022

That's 4,642 more posts than 2021!

921 posts created (7%)

12,791 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@joliepetitelou

@allwaswell16

@hlupdate

@silverfoxlou

I tagged 8,368 of my posts in 2022

Only 39% of my posts had no tags

#queue - 2,029 posts

#toread - 664 posts

#ask - 550 posts

#anon - 442 posts

#ficrec - 398 posts

#lol - 388 posts

#just like queue - 236 posts

#to read - 190 posts

#louisfashion - 150 posts

#scheduled - 114 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i think i read only larry for maybe two years??? then i gave one larry/tomlinshaw choose your own ending fic a shot and never looked back

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Louies after one day without seeing Louis: The world is a barren ice desert. I am withering away from the decades without sunlight.

Other people: ... you saw him yesterday

Louies: I will not know a spark of joy until I see his face again. Oh when will this unceasing pain end?

Other people: fuck's sake you'll see him tomorrow

313 notes - Posted March 26, 2022

#4

I just want to say a VERY HOW DARE YOU to Louis for wearing a SNAP BUTTON SHIRT, getting his shirt ripped open WHICH HE KNEW WOULD HAPPEN, and then TURNING AWAY FROM US TO REBUTTON IT

340 notes - Posted June 14, 2022

#3

So me @jaerie @haztobegood went to get tattoos at Great Lakes Tattoos and Brandon, my tattoo artist, asked what we were doing today and I told him we were in the city to see a Louis Tomlinson concert. He was like, "oh cool cool." Clearly not really knowing who I was talking about. Just kept chatting. Then he asked how we found the shop if we'd never been tattooed there before and I was like...well...this is where Louis got a tattoo.

He pushed back away from me and said, "LOUIS TOMLINSON!! LOUIS TOMLINSON I KNOW WHO THAT IS. That shit was insane!" Another artist heard him and was like "Louis Tomlinson?? We had to turn the phones off for a week after he came in!" And Brandon said, "I wasn't even there and I woke up to THOUSANDS of DMs on Instagram." The other artist said people from all over the world were calling the shop. I was cry laughing at this point and Brandon is laughing. A THIRD artist came over to say it was completely wild for a while after he came in. And I apologized on behalf of Louies everywhere a;sldjkfsa and that maybe it would have been slightly less wild had he not got the tattoo on his ass and posted pics of it. We were both wiping away tears and he was like, "it was obnoxious at the time but it's fucking hilarious looking back on it. Eric (that's the one who did Louis' tattoo) has a fan page and someone wrote a song about him!"

Anyway, it was both hilarious and embarrassing lol and I did not expect to cry laugh while getting my first tattoo 😆

394 notes - Posted February 23, 2022

#2

Ace of Spades

Series by @allwaswell16 for @1daboficfest

♠️ Amazing poster by @nouies ♠️

Living as a sheltered omega in a farming village has not prepared Harry for life aboard the most notorious pirate ship to sail the Atlantic.

Or Louis is a pirate, Harry is his captive, and no one is who they say they are.

Part 2: St. Elena

When Harry’s illness worsened, the crew of the Ace of Spades sailed to the island home of Captain Grim.

An Ace of Spades timestamp from Zayn’s point of view

{A pirate a/b/o au ♠️ Explicit ♠️ 80k}

528 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Day 1 without Louis: Already suffering

726 notes - Posted April 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[taestefully-in-luv]

HEY it's been long since heard from you last.Hope you are doing well

.These day I feel too boring with everything.Study gives me pressure.Family and friends are pissing me off

.End of the day I come here to find some stories which can make me feel better

But I hardly find one

I feel like I already read every good stories from you and others.How for you deal when you feel low?It would be really great to know from writer like you who describe everything with great emotion.And if you know some good slow burn ff series .can you pls recommend one to me? I will be waiting to hear from you.How is everything about you!Miss you.Hope you comeback soon Healthy among us.🥹🥹

hello lovely 💗 thank you so much.

i wrote an entire long reply and accidentally exited the app so i lost it all lmao

but i’ll try again!

i hope your days get a little more exciting if that’s what you’re wanting :] boring days can feel a bit resting though and there’s no shame in that.

yes studying can be hard! especially with all the pressure that comes along with it. but in the end, if it’s something you’re really pursuing, it’ll be so worth it.

hmm….when i feel low…ah honestly 🥲 i tend to isolate myself but it’s only because i need space to organize my thoughts and also so i don’t accidentally hurt anyones feelings with my attitude since i can get moody. (this makes ppl mad too tho🤣) i try to write down all my thoughts and vent about whatever’s on my mind. if that doesn’t work, because sometimes it doesn’t, i will focus on listening to music and watching videos.

that’s if my mood is at a low point for a short amount of time but if i’m feeling down for a longer period of time then i really try to pull myself together and create a good routine that i can focus on.

i’m sorry i don’t have any fic recs:/ i am never a good person to ask. but i have reblogged some posts with lots of recs on there.

i’m feeling much better :) thank you.

feel free to come vent to me if you ever need to…i might not always have the right thing to say but i can at least listen. :]

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

Curiosity Killed the Cat | Bucky Barnes x reader

Requested by anon / Summary: You and Bucky are best friends. You’re reading best friends to lover fanfictions about Bucky on tumblr and leave your phone open. Bucky can’t help but be nosey and wonder what you’ve been doing this entire time smiling and laughing at something you were reading on your phone. 

A/N: I hope you like it! xx 

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx

Go follow my fic rec blog! ---> @imaginationgonewild0912

**MASTERLIST**

Requests: {OPEN} CLOSED

** Rules for Requesting **

** Who I Write For **

********************************************************************************************NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS

! Warning: mention of sex and porn, but nothing in detail at all 

You didn’t really like him like that? Did you? You two were best friends but why would you be reading best friends to lover fanfiction which included him. These thoughts ran rampant in the mind of Bucky after his recent discovery. He shouldn’t have looked but curiosity held on tightly and he needed to know why you were smiling and laughing at your phone for the last hour. 

You were seated on the couch, a blanket wrapped around your legs and your face buried in your phone. He’d walked in and announced his presence to you, but still took notice of the way you jumped and held your phone against your chest like you were doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing. 

“You look like you just got caught with your hand in the cookie jar.” Bucky chuckles, taking a seat next to you. 

You let out an uncomfortable laugh, “I didn’t know anyone was home.” You sat up a little straighter and turned your body to face Bucky so he couldn’t see your phone, “You scared me.”

“Sorry,” He motions to the tv with his finger, “You mind?” 

“No course not.” You hand him the remote, “I’m not watching it.” 

He settles into the couch and begins flipping through the channels. Out of the corner of his eye he watched you turn your attention back to your phone. Then for the next hour he would see you smile and laugh every once in a while. At one point you got all giddy and excited about something. 

“What is wrong? You watching a funny video?” He knows you like to watch tiktoks, but there wasn’t any sound coming from your phone, which only made him even more confused on what you could be doing on your phone. 

“No.” You left your answer at that and it only made Bucky even more determined to find out what was on that phone. 

“Pinning to your pinterest?” 

You looked up at him, a look of surprise on your face, “You know what pinterest is?” 

He nods proudly, “I’m not that behind. I’m slowly bringing myself up to speed of the current time.” 

You laugh softly and gently nudge him with your foot, “Good for you, Buck.” He added you to the list of people who could call him Buck. You ignored the question and got off the couch with a stretch, “I need a snack. You want something?” 

“Can you make some of those.. cheese things?” He looks up at you innocently. 

“You mean mozzarella sticks?” 

He nods, “Those.” 

“Yes, I can make you those cheese things.” You pat him on the shoulder as you walk by, “You know they aren’t that hard to make. You just put them in the oven.” 

“I know but last time I made them, there wasn’t any cheese left in them. Plus, you make them the best.” You’d left your phone on the couch. Now was the time. He glances into the kitchen and you’re paying no attention to him. 

“You cooked them too long.” You entered the kitchen, still talking to Bucky, “I usually only cook them for 11 mins and turn them half way through.” 

He stopped listening once he knew you were in the kitchen and grabbed your phone. Yes, you left it open. He furrows his eyebrows at the screen. Tumblr? What is tumblr? “mmhmm, yeah I must have.” He checks on the kitchen once more; you’re standing with your back to him.

He scrolls through and at the top it says Bucky Barnes x reader. You’re reading something about him? As he makes his way down the page, it’s full of stories that are best friends to lovers. It only confuses him even more. You two were best friends. You were reading stories about him that included best friends to lovers. So, did you love him or something? 

His eyes went wide at one of the stories. It went into detail about sex, using some very provocative language. He shifts uncomfortably in the seat, but as he started reading more, his pants started to feel a little bit tighter. 

“What the hell are you doing?!” 

He jumps; now he’s the one who looks like he’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. His eyes are wide, “Porn.” He blurts out the first thing that comes to mind, looking up at you. 

“With my phone?!” You snatch the phone out of his hand and it’s on the page you’d been reading. You flushed with embarrassment, “This.. it’s not what it looks like.” How would you explain this to him? 

“Oh look my shows back on.” He turns his eyes toward the TV.

You stand there for a moment, quite unsure what to do. Did he know what you were reading? How much did he see? Now he’s acting like it didn’t happen, so do you do the same thing?

You push your legs to walk back to the kitchen, taking a seat at the table. How could you have been so stupid to leave your phone open next to him? You could have swore you locked it. You groaned and laid your head on the table. “Stupid, stupid.” You whisper, lifting your head and setting it back down on the table with a thump at each stupid. 

And now he’s sitting on the couch his mind running rampant with thoughts. He shouldn’t have looked, but if you’re reading those best friends to lovers, could it reflect your real feelings toward Bucky? Did you love him? He knew what his true feelings toward you were. 

You jumped as the timer on the oven went off. Standing you grabbed an oven mit from the drawer and pulled the pan of mozzarella sticks from the oven, putting them on the stovetop to cool. As soon as that pan hit the stovetop, your body was spun and you came face to face with Bucky, his face serious. 

“I don’t know what tumblr is, but you were reading best friends to lovers stories and I hope it’s a reflection of your real feelings toward me because this is about to be very awkward if it’s not.” And that’s when he grabbed your face in his hands and pressed his lips against yours. 

Your lips returned the kiss and your hands went to his hair and that was the only answer he needed. Thank god for Best Friends to Lovers Fanfiction. 

Comments, reblogs & likes are always appreciated! xx 

Marvel tag list: @hommoturttle​ , @iheartsebastianstan , @5jacobm5​ , @lovely-geek​ , @fangirl-swagg​ , @1-800-thanos , @jessyballet​ , @katiaw2​ , @yaskna​ , @dpaccione​ , @peachyxlynch​

All my works tag list:  @blossomreed​ , @mggstyles  , @simonsbluee​ , @thewolf-and-thesheep , @obxrafejjwhore​ , @abbiesthings​ , @itstaskeen​ , @reniescarlett​

[mayhem24-7forever]

Tagged by: @loverhymeswith Thank you!!!

Rules: tag a few people you want to know better; make a new post, don’t reblog!

Favorite color: Navy blue with white polka dots (or purple)

Currently reading: I JUST finished an immaculate book called "To Marry and To Meddle" by Martha Waters and I cannot recommend that book/series enough, it's like an even funnier Bridgerton full of my favorite romantic tropes. I'm about to start "A Lady's Guide to Mischief and Mayhem" by Manda Collins so I'll see if it's good

Last song: right now I'm listening to a Rick Flag enemies to lovers playlist I found on spotify (DON'T JUDGE ME) and the song that just came on is "Can't Sleep" by K.Flay

Last series: I'm part way through season two of The Killing, which I am watching specifically just for Joel Kinnaman because I love him even if this character/show is giving me so many different and complex feelings.

Last movie: Last new movie I watched was The Lost City but the most recent film I've seen was when I rewatched The Suicide Squad so I could stare at Joel Kinnaman

Sweet, spicy, or savory: SWEET

Coffee or tea: Either one as long as it's drowning in cream and sugar

Three ships: bruv usually I just ship myself with the characters lmao but Druig x Makkari (Eternals/MCU), Buddie (9-1-1), and Faramir x Eowyn (Lord of the Rings) come to mind as ships I've recently thought about

First ever ship: probably Aurora x Phillip in Sleeping Beauty, that shit was my DRUG as a child but like the first ship that I was like a tumblr-level stan of was probably destiel from supernatural

Currently working on: chapter 5 of Lose You Too (I swear I'll get it done, I just have such a hard time writing fluff compared to smut and angst lmao)

Favorite piece of clothing: My Joe Mazzello/D-Backs jersey from the movie Undrafted, it's so comfy, I love sleeping in it

Comfort food: sushi, panda express, or wendys depending on what level of comfort I need and what mood I'm in

Favorite time of year: honestly probably october because it's my birthday month and halloween and stuff

Favorite fanfiction: It's hard to pick a favorite so I'll pick a favorite from each of my favorite fic authors, (consider this a Jo's fic recs lol) I am OBSESSED with "The Princess and the Vigilante" series by @theowritesstuff, "The Babysitter Saga" by @klmurr, the "Stockholm Syndrome" series by @missemimori, "So Like Porcelain" by @honeycombstrawberry, pretty much anything @loverhymeswith has written for Takeshi but especially "Home", "Life to Come" by @damnedparker, "Kill of the Night" by @babblydrabbly, "Eternity" by @a-reader-and-a-writer, "Yes Sir" by @lunaticsandidiots, "Window Repair" by @neptuneswritingwork, and "Stress Relief" by @lacontroller1991 (guys there's so many more I'm exercising sooo much restraint right now)

No pressure tags for peeps I would like to get to know better: everyone I tagged in the fanfiction section and @rishlurh, @all-the-things-i-done, @chaseadrian, @allourstarsareshinning, @likedovesinthewnd

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

It's Delicate: Part II

Summary: Spencer Reid finds himself at a gas station at 2:00 am, thinking he’s only leaving with a cup of crappy coffee. But something taped to the door catches his eye. Spencer leaves the gas station with more than he intended: the chance at a friend, and maybe something more along the way.

Word Count: 3.6 k

Author’s Note: Here's the second part in It's Delicate, my first chapter fic. I've planned out kind of where I see this eventually going! Thank you to anyone who reads, likes, comments, and reblogs. It really means the world to me.

Content Warnings: Expletive language (3 uses), mentions of drug use, sexual innuendo

READ PART I

It's Delicate Masterlist

It's Delicate

Sitting on the plane, Spencer looks out from the little window. For hours, there’s been nothing but corn fields and clouds. It’s eerily peaceful, being there high above the clouds. His whole life Spencer has felt this distance between him and everyone else, but nothing makes that feeling more prominent than being strapped in a glorified metal box 35,000 feet off the Earth’s surface. But the thing is, Spencer does need to be flying above the trees to feel lonely. He can do that with two feet on the ground.

Luke sits across Spencer, the table between them and a deck of playing cards are spread out across its surface. He has to nudge Spencer’s leg from under the table, trying to bring him back to reality as he stares out the window.

“Whatcha thinking,” Luke asks, Spencer has been noticing more and more that Luke is one of the few people that actually listens to him.

Spencer, whose mind is racing too fast to even formulate an articulate thought, attempts to dodge Luke’s question with a noncommittal shrug.

“Reid, these cases are hard for all of us, you gotta know that man,” Luke says, laying down a four of a kind.

Spencer narrows his eyes, shocked that it hasn’t clicked yet for the rest of the team. He cracks his neck, preparing to answer Luke.

“We almost locked up an innocent man, Alvez. I almost sent another man to the same fate as myself. What kind of fucked up message is that?” Spencer says, throwing down the cards on the table. He doesn’t wait for Luke to respond.

“I fold,”

Spencer walks off into the small kitchenette to make a cup of coffee. He doesn’t want to think about his increased reliance on coffee, because he knows it’s a hot cup of coffee or a cold needle of Dilaudid in his veins. Spencer checks his watch, it’s 10:17 pm, maybe too late to find a meeting at a church or rec center somewhere.

He sneaks a peak at his phone, which was still unfortunately on Airplane Mode, he hasn’t even gotten a chance to see if Y/N has responded. He doesn’t know much about her, just as much as she knows about him.

It’s a brave new world for Spencer and he’s knee deep into the unknown.

Spencer can feel Luke’s eyes on him. He just knows that the minute he gets home, a certain tech expert will be ringing him. He knows that it’s Luke’s way of caring, but for someone who’s been alone for so long, having people that actually care is almost drowning.

Walking back to his seat, Spencer hands Luke a coffee. He smiles slightly; it’s the awkward smile that he used to make when intimating police chiefs and idiot cops would look him up and down like he’s a TA. It’s a peace offering for Luke, who despite his tough looking exterior, is one of the kindest people Spencer knows.

“Look, Reid. I’m sorry that we didn’t put it together. It’s just that man that we caught, he’s not like you. He’s not innocent of crimes, he’s just innocent of this crime,” Luke says in an attempt to make Spencer feel a little bit better.

“The thing is Luke, I’m exactly like that man,”

Spencer returns to staring out the window. The cards and the coffee on the table are long ignored for the silence that is found when you’re high above the clouds.

--

Spencer hears Tara and Emily murmur quietly about going out for a round of drinks. Luke accepts, while JJ and Matt decline, eager to get home to their families. Emily looks over at Spencer, her eyes silently scanning him, his body language. Spencer knows that there’s nothing he can hide from Emily, so there’s no use in trying to pretend he’s alright when she can take one look at him and know that nothing is right.

“You guys have fun, I’m going to head home and get some sleep. I plan on visiting my mom tomorrow and mornings are usually better for her,” Spencer says, slinging his go bag around his shoulders and making the trek back to the security to check out.

He walks slowly, enjoying the sound of the crickets chirping as he trudges along. Spencer tries not to think about the man, Richard, who was almost locked up for a crime that he didn’t commit. Spencer is pretty sure that being the person to throw an innocent man in jail is worse than being the innocent man in jail.

Spencer’s phone buzzes loudly, disturbing the silence of his walk. He looks at the phone to see a couple of messages from Y/N. Spencer slides open the lock to his phone and hits the button to read her messages.

Y/N: Spencer...that has a nice ring to it. So tell me a little bit about yourself. Your big three, but as books. Go! 🌞🌙⬆️

Furrowing his brow, Spencer reads the message over again. He does not have a clue what “big three” means, but it seems like some sort of pop culture thing that he’s not skilled in. He wants to text Garcia for a translation, but he’s also not too keen on telling her how he came across Y/N’s number.

Y/N: I assume you’re working, but I'm kind of impatient so I’ll give you mine 🙃 I’m a Little Women sun, an Emma moon, and an In Cold Blood rising.

Y/N: Oh no….I hope my astrology didn’t turn you off

Y/N: Not that I was trying to turn you on

Y/N: omg Y/N please shut the fuck up

Astrology? Spencer isn’t one to judge, but he’s a scientist first and foremost. The idea that there is something written about him in the stars seems like ludicrous. He decided to ignore the other messages, particularly the ones with a little more than slight innuendo.

Spencer: Y/N- I’m sorry I just got out of work. As for my big three, I’m not sure about astrology. I don’t particularly believe in pseudoscience. But those are good choices. In Cold Blood is an excellent choice. Capote spent years researching the case. In fact his prose and technique inspired the entire “Nonfiction novel” genre. The world of journalism and true crime would not be where it is without Capote’s work.

Y/N: Oh my god. You are a total nerd. 🙀

That stops Spencer right in his tracks. He’s only a couple of yards away from the Volvo at this point, but somehow it feels a million miles away. You are a total nerd. The words replay in his mind as the small gray bubbles pop up again. Spencer can feel his heart constrict at Y/N’s words. It’s ridiculous, he’s nearly 34 and is getting upset that a stranger called him a nerd. Spencer unlocks his car and tosses his go bag, phone included onto the passenger seat.

After a couple of minutes his phone buzzes again. He’s half tempted to answer it, but the way his heart seems to beat faster tells him to ignore it.

Y/N: I fucking love it and I think you’ll love this too

Spencer’s entire demeanor changes as he reads the message. He’s always had difficulties reading emotion in writing, especially when he can’t analyze the handwriting. Sometimes, it’s even harder to judge inflection during conversations. Maybe that is why Spencer has spent all this time studying people, studying the way that their minds work. Before he can get too lost in his thoughts, another message pops up.

Y/N: Meet Capote and Second Cat

Y/N: They are the loves of my life

Spencer: They are very...distinguished looking. Capote is an excellent name choice then. Second Cat is also quite catchy.

Spencer hesitates before sending the message, he notices that Y/N uses what Garcia calls “emojis” quite frequently. He assumes that it’s some sort of “texting lingo” that expresses emotion in small graphics. Great, he thinks. He already has a difficult time deciphering Y/N’s cryptic wording and now he’s got to analyze these emojis.

Maybe he should profile her. He re-reads the message and settles on a “😄” because he figures that he can’t go wrong with offering Y/N a smile.

Spencer: I don’t have a cat, but when I was a kid I always wanted one, they’re quite good companions for those that live several different kinds of lifestyles. From active to sedentary, they are adaptable and independent. Honestly they are the perfect pet.

Y/N: Is this your way of telling you’re a crazy cat man? 😜 🙀

Spencer, still sitting in his car that’s parked in the parking lot, chuckles at Y/N’s response to his message. Maybe it’s just easier to ignore his rambling when it’s done through 1s and 0s and there isn’t a face to the words.

Spencer: I’m actually more of a fish guy

Y/N: Like a “I-like-to-go-fishing-and-post-picture-of-myself-kissing-my-catch-on-Tinder” kind of fish guy or...I can’t think of any other kind of fish men

Spencer, not totally understanding the obvious joke that Y/N is trying to make, settles on something that he hasn’t really ever tried: being himself.

Spencer: Not quite sure what a Tinder is, but I think fishing is terrifying and kissing a fish is something out of nightmares. But his name is Leo

Y/N: DiCaprio?

Spencer: Uhh, Tolstoy

Y/N: Good😉 ⚔️🕊️ 🇷🇺

Spencer glances at his clock on the control panel, it tells him that he’s been messaging with Y/N back and forth for nearly 22 minutes. He nearly forgot how tired he was.

Spencer: Y/N- I’m so sorry but, I just got to my car to drive home from work. I’ll text you tomorrow morning about the book club, maybe we can figure out some things.

Y/N: OMG Spencer!! you should have told me. I’ve been talking ur ear off. sleep well and yes please tomorrow we can talk about the book club

Y/N: Good night, Book Buddy 😴

Spencer wants to respond to Y/N, but he doesn’t know what to say. She seems to text so easily, and judging by that, she must be around Spencer’s age or a little bit younger. Besides JJ and Penelope, Spencer has never had a friend close to his age. It’s a strange new territory for him and he’s walking in head first into No Man’s Land.

He starts his Volvo, the check engine still lights but, reminding him once again to go get it fixed. Driving away from the parking lot, Spencer hands over his ID to Gina, the security guard. She checks his ID and gives him a tired smile. Spencer, as he drives home to his apartment, thinking about what books he and Y/N will read together. He wonders what kind of books are her favorite, if they have any authors that they can obsess over together, or if what she thinks a poet’s prose is.

The summer air rushing in through the window is nowhere as warm and as comforting as thought of Spencer finally having a friend that isn’t able to read the scars of his past in the text bubbles that pop up on her screen.

--

When Spencer opens his eyes for the first time that morning, he isn’t sure where he is. Sometimes, before he can stop his thoughts from travelling there, Spencer thinks he’s still in jail. He hates the feeling of terror that rushes over him but he hates the idea of being vulnerable a little bit more. But the softness of his pillows and the coolness of his cotton sheets remind him that he’s not sleeping on a hard cot with only a layer of fabric over his body. The light streams in through the half closed blinds, and Spencer judges by how brightly the sun shines in, it must be around 9:45 am.

He supposes that he prefers the way the sun’s rays paint horizontal bars across his face more than the vertical bars that cast gray shadows over his cell at Milburn Penitentiary.

It’s a day off from work, so Spencer didn’t set an alarm, instead allowing his mind and his body to catch up on some much needed rest. The nightmares have been getting better, but his dreams are still haunted by the way that he hardly recognizes himself anymore. Deciding that it will be a day spent in pajamas, Spencer goes to his bookshelf in his bedroom to pick out a couple of novels to read while he drinks his morning coffee and defrosts some of Luke’s strawberry pastries.

Before heading out of his room, Spencer stops himself in the doorway. He replays the events of last night. He declined to go out with the rest of the team, while he walked to his car he thought about the crickets telling the temperature, and he read over Y/N’s messages.

Y/N.

He promised he’d text her back in the morning about their book club. Last night, she didn’t seem to mind Spencer’s long messages and awkward phrasing. He still doesn’t really know how this Book Buddy thing would work, but since he found Y/N’s number on the flyer, he can only assume that she knows what to do. He leaps on his bed, landing with thud on his belly, to grab his phone that charges on his nightstand.

Spencer settles at his kitchen table, a cup of steaming hot Dark Roast coffee in a Captain Spock mug in one hand and, surprisingly, his phone in the other. He scrolls through the messages from last night, Y/N’s cat and emojis tempt a smile to Spencer’s face.

Not entirely sure how to start the conversation again, Spencer looks around for inspiration until his eyes land on a certain fish tank in the corner of his apartment. He snaps a quick picture of Leo and attaches it to the message.

Spencer: Good Morning from Leo & Spencer

Spencer sets down his phone after a moment when he realizes that Y/N is probably not going to answer him back in a couple of seconds. He takes out a strawberry pastry from his freezer and puts it into the toaster oven on a non-stick baking sheet. His thumbs run across the texture of the book he started on the plane ride after his and Luke’s ill fated poker game. It's a thin book of collected essays on the meaning of life. Camus, to Spencer, is a little pessimistic with his droning on about the meaninglessness of life. Though Spence has seen the absolute worst that humanity has to offer, he still has to believe that there’s a deeper meaning behind it all.

His toaster oven rings, altering him so that his toasted strawberry pastry is cooked. He plates his breakfast and pours himself another cup of coffee- he’ll need it to get through Camus’s section on Absurdism this early in the morning. But the flash of Spencer’s phone screen sends him reaching for his phone. Y/N replied to his message.

Y/N: hi leo!!!

Y/N: and you too Spencer :) Did you get a good night’s sleep. You got back late it seems.

Spencer, taking a bite of the strawberry pastry, ignores the burning sensation in his mouth. He types out a response to Y/N as he washes down the bite with a swing of coffee.

Spencer: I did, thank you. Can you tell me a little bit more about this book buddy thing. From what I gathered from the flyer it’s like a little book club of our own and we meet at the bookstore?

It doesn’t take long for Y/N to respond. The little gray dots pop up almost immediately after Spencer’s message is delivered.

Y/N: That’s about right! Is it okay if I call you? Kinda easier to talk that way 🤷‍♀️

Spencer reads over the message a couple of times. He doesn’t really like to talk on the phone and only does it out of necessity. He’s pretty sure that his voice is grating and his vocal fry is quite irritating. Yet, he finds himself replying “yes” to Y/N. Soon enough, his phone buzzes in his hand and Spencer has to remind himself how to pick up a call.

“Spencer? Um, this is Spencer Reid, right?” the voice says. It’s a woman’s voice and he can only assume that it’s Y/N, considering it is her phone number calling him.

“Y/N, uh hi. This is Dr. Spencer- I mean this is Spencer,” he says, nearly forgetting that Y/N doesn’t know him as Dr. Reid, but as just Spencer. It’s been a long time since someone has known him as Spencer.

“Oh great! It’s wonderful to finally have a voice to your name. So about these buddy reads. You seem to have a good grasp of what they are,” Y/N’s voice trails off a little bit at the end and Spencer finds it natural to fill in the silence.

“Yes, the flyer was quite informative. But I was wondering, do we read the same books or do we read different books?” Spencer asks, trying to restrain himself from scaring Y/N off. But something about her made him think that she didn’t scare easily.

Y/N chuckles lightly in the speaker of her phone, “that’s a good question, uh, I was actually going to ask you what you would rather. We can read the same books, or if it’s okay with you we can choose what the other would read for that week,”

“Oh really?” Spencer says, very much aware how his voice rises a couple of octaves. He can’t trust himself to hold back on rambling over the phone Y/N, so he resorts to using his strained, brittle voice that’s full of hesitation and restraint.

“That’s the plan, so whatcha thinking, Spencer,” Y/N says playfully, like she can sense that phone conversations maybe not make him feel at ease. There’s something so natural and silvery about her voice; it reminds Spencer of an audiobook reader. While he’s not too keen on audiobooks, he’s sure that he’d listen to anything she reads or has to say.

“Um, I think it sounds interesting to pick out books for each other. I tend to gravitate towards more technical books or even books that aren’t in English so, uh, I think it would be interesting to get out of my comfort zone,” Spencer says, cringing internally at using the word “interesting” twice in a couple of sentences.

“Well, as long as you don’t pick out something in physics or anything by Ayn Rand then I’d say we’re good,” Y/N says. Spencer thinks it’s a joke, but he’s not too sure how to respond.

“Will you still be my Book Buddy if I read 1 out of 2 of those?” Spencer asks, hoping she’d get that he is trying to continue the joke.

“Oh no Spencer please don’t tell me you’re an Ayn Rand fanboy,” she says, and by the airy way she laughs, Spencer ventures to guess his joke landed successfully.

“So,” Spencer starts, he never has made plans with people outside of his team, and on top of that, there’s something about Y/N’s quickness that makes him a little nervous to meet her.

“I’m talking your ear off, aren’t I? Please Spencer, if you’re going to be my Book Buddy, you’re going to have to get used to me talking a lot, especially you pick out good books, which, I already have a feeling you’re going to be favorite Book Buddy,”

For once in his life, Spencer doesn’t really know how to respond. He lets out something in between a strangled laughter and a noncommittal chuckle.

“So,” Y/N says, mirroring Spencer’s earlier words, “so are you free tonight, I can meet you at the bookstore..”

Y/N’s voice trails off and Spencer leaps to finish her sentences. It doesn’t feel like his interjecting or interrupting, but like he’s snapping a puzzle piece together.

“Does 7 work?” “7 is great, Spencer. It’s a date,”

Those three little words send Spencer’s eyes flying wide open. He scrambles to come up with answer to louden the silence that falls, but he swears he can hear a string of quiet curses before Y/N manages to squeak out a small “goodbye,”

Y/N’s last words play back in Spencer’s ears. He scolds himself for being so weird and awkward that the very idea of going on a date with him would send Y/N in a tizzy. It’s not a date, because Spencer can’t think about it being a date. It’s not a date because of the looming photo above his mantle that freezes his future in the past. It’s not a date because of the nightmare of vertical bars that haunt his dreams

It’s not a date. It’s so not a date because Spencer would call Luke to come over to help him if it was.

“Hey Luke,” Spencer says, trying to control the nervous waves in his voice, “no man, I’m fine, it’s uh, easier if you just come over. I’m fine, really,”

Y/N: I really hope you're not an Ayn Rand fanboy 😉

It’s so not a date.

--THANK YOU FOR READING--

TAGLIST

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More Amazing People I Want to Share This With :)

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[hogwartsfirebolt]

Hello there! I’m finally here with the third and last part of my favorite drarry fics I read in 2019!!! In the first part and in the second part I recommended 10 stories that made my year, and in this post I’m recommending 10 more that I absolutely adore. The banner art is by @spielzeugkaiser who was really kind and let me use this GORGEOUS piece, which you can (and totally should) reblog right here. Now, without further ado, here’s my,

FAVORITE FICS I READ IN 2019 PART THREE

1. The Company of The Rose - @lower-east-side - 31k - E - Six years after the war, Draco Malfoy has been restoring magical estates, while sidestepping his mother’s plots to marry him off and resolutely avoiding his issues. An advert in the Prophet takes him to a remote island, where a mysterious stranger has purchased an abandoned retreat. But the house has a few secrets of its own, and Draco will be forced to deal with not only his past, but the possibilities of the future.

We’re starting out this list with one of the last fics I read last year, and undoubtedly one of my absolute favorites. It’s gorgeous, sweet, breathtaking, a dozen other adjectives I can’t even think of. Stories that take place in beautiful, secluded places have a special place in my heart, and with a sure hand the author leads us through some of my favorite aspects of the trope: slow forming friendships, the feeling like they’re living in a world of their own as they get to know each other for who they really are, wonderful, delicious sexual tension keeping me breathless until the moment it snaps. The sex pollen element is also worked in a way I had never read before, with an exploration of what happens in the aftermath, addressing the issue of consent it creates. It’s just absolutely phenomenal, every single word of this. 

2. I could be wrong, I could be ready - @harryromper - 57k - M - At first Harry wonders if they’ve managed to destroy his vaults and are trying to tell him in the most oblique way possible. But when he turns the page he realises they’ve found a vault. A vault in the name of Lily and James Potter.The parchment trembles a little in Harry’s hand. He takes another gulp of wine. Harry Potter left Britain after the war and didn’t look back. Ten years later, when Gringotts discovers a vault containing his parents’ belongings—including their badly spell-damaged wedding rings—he’s forced to face up to friends and family who’ve grown in ways he could never imagine, a wizarding London rebuilt beyond his expectations, and the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. And if that wasn’t enough, there’s the entirely unforeseen problem of Draco Malfoy. Featuring pureblood wizarding traditions, ancestral magic, open mic nights, marriage equality, a diner in Brooklyn, and the return of Fleamont Potter.

Explorations of Harry as a character and his post-war issues never fail to hook me right in, and this beautiful fic takes us with him on a journey where he changes so, so much, and at first he does it by running away, thinking everything will remain unchanged as long as he doesn’t acknowledge it, which, of course, isn’t the case. We see him having to face his past, reconnecting with his friends, finding and coming to terms with pieces of himself that he forgot about, or never knew existed in the first place, and it’s absolutely exquisite. The tremendous amount of character development, the regaining of trust in himself and others, the way we can witness a love story blooming slow and steady, and see Harry grow into a confident, wonderful man. God, I have feels for this one, for every detail, every character and setting and emotion. It’s absolutely fantastic. 

3. What Real Thing? - @l0vegl0wsinthedark - 12k - E - They don’t cuddle, they don’t talk about their relationship (or lack thereof) and they certainly never fall asleep in each other’s arms.

This was my year of falling in love with l0ve’s fics. I had read some of her work before, but it was a few months ago that I found myself deep into her ao3 page, nearly weeping with the amount of emotion every single one of her stories stirs up within me. Picking just one was extremely difficult, but I finally chose this one, because the way she paints the relationship between Harry and Draco is masterful, their dynamic shifting and changing little by little, baby steps that become full-on sprints, single-minded and hesitant all at once, until we see them elbows deep into a feeling they don’t even know they’re experiencing, and it’s just brilliant, scorching hot, all-encompassing in a way that made me feel caught up in the whirlwind that is their relationship. If you haven’t yet read anything by l0ve, then I strongly, strongly recommend you start right about NOW. You won’t regret it. 

4. Teeth - @amelior8or - 5k - E - Potter’s been practically begging for it, for months, constantly staring until the air crackles with the intensity of it. Draco always stares back, until all it takes is a brush, a spark, before they go up like flash paper. The crash into each other is inevitable. Draco’s heart has got teeth. And there is nothing he won’t do to keep up the fight with Harry fucking Potter.

I am absolutely, 1000% weak for werewolf stories, and in just 5k words this one managed to enchant and entrance me. It’s hot and fast-paced and intense in the way I love, with their relationship charged with emotion and intensity that transform bickering into passion in the blink of an eye. The moment I reached the end, I went back to the top of the page and reread it that very second, because I had to experience it all over again. Amazing characterization, banter to die for and explosive chemistry are all present in this gem. I kid you not, I’ve read it about six times at this point and just keep going back to that moment in the showers because THAT DIALOGUE IS JUST- wow. 

5. Hush, darling - @magpiefngrl - 23k - E - Draco is in trouble. To get out of it he needs to seduce Harry Potter.

My god what a story this is. Absolutely unique, 23k words that felt like so, so much more because of everything they made me feel. There isn’t a single line of dialogue in this story that doesn’t feel purposeful, the characterizations constructed with such skill that every step the characters take rings true to their essence and gives us another clue to add to the puzzle that is Harry Potter, vulnerable man, powerful man, and Draco Malfoy, in all his darkness and his light. It also features some of the best sex scenes I have read, EVER. I could go on and on about this one, so let me just refer you to my long, individual rec for some more flailing. 

6. The Pirate and the Prince - @nerdherderette - 49k - E - Draco can't believe that fate and circumstance have made him a stowaway on the Master of Death's ship. He doesn't know what's worse: the dread pirate's legendary vendetta against the aristocracy, or the fact that his captor is the most infuriating yet irrefutably fascinating man Draco has ever met.

YES!!!!! YES!!! The moment I saw the cover art for this fic on tumblr my entire being just screamed YES, and it was everything I could’ve hoped for and more. Listen, there is nothing I love more than fics where I get to see Harry as a powerful, ruggedly handsome man who’s not afraid of getting his hands dirty, and in here there’s some of that and MORE, because he’s a freaking PIRATE. And not only did I adore that aspect of it, but the writing pulled me right in, the setting so vibrant I could feel it in my bones, and I just genuinely enjoyed every second of reading this so, so much. There’s ships and adventure and fighting for what’s right, there’s lovely kisses, heated kisses, secret identities and parrot Hedwig. Just, all in all, a great freaking time. 

7. Falling for a Golden Boy - @rockmarina - 44k - E - Merlin. Why couldn’t Draco have moved to a forgotten village in the Alps? He could have turned into a shepherd, learned to make his own damn cheese and given up his damn magic. But no, he’d had to come back to his Eighth year, hadn’t he? And this was his life now. Draping himself over Potter to hear words from him that he knew Potter wouldn’t ever mean.Great. The school year ahead of him looked simply great.“All I know is—when I’m with you, I…” Potter, the heathen, grunted when he read the rest of his line. “Do I really need to say this?”“What, scared of believing your own words, Scarhead?” Draco spat.“Boys,” O’Neill warned them.“All I—all I know is you’re the most amazing person with weak ankles that I've ever met, Meg.” Potter scowled. He was blushing again. “And when I’m with you, I feel less alone.”

My favorite eight year Drarry of all time, probably. I had never before experienced such a beautiful balance of the aftermath of the horrifying events of the war and how they impacted each character, and the light feeling of youthful fun. There are so, so many things to love in the 44k words that make up this masterpiece, so many details that warmed my heart and made me melt inside, so many moments that had me laughing or clutching my chest. In here, you’ll find quite a lot of Hercules references, wonderful teachers, drama club, healing, characters learning to trust, learning to love, learning to cope, beautiful friendships, hopeful romance. It is everything. I talked more about this fic in this individual rec, and I will absolutely talk MORE about it if given the chance. Everyone should read this. 

8. Tease Crossed, Eyes Dotted With A Little Heart - @diligent-thunder - 18k - M -  Draco's a curse-breaker, Harry's an Auror, and they're... something? Maybe? It depends. Harry definitely wants to get laid, Draco wants to follow procedure, and their work wives just want them to stop hiding from the truth. 

I hope you’re not sick of my rambling yet because oooooh boy, THIS ONE. It’s funny, in the way that makes you cover your mouth because you’re about to burst out laughing on the bus, it’s hot, in that casual way that makes you clear your throat and shift your phone just a little, just so the screen can’t be seen by the person sitting beside you because like HELL are you going to stop reading now, it’s sweet, in the way that makes you smile so hard your cheeks hurt, and it’s so detailed and all around so, so much fun to read, in the way that grips you and doesn’t let you go, only to release you when it’s over so you can go and recommend it to your friends, IT’S. SO. GOOD. Real quick: auror + cursebreaker pairing, are-they-friends-with-benefits-or-more, guess-they’d-have-to-actually-TALK-to-know-that, teasing each other in public, getting trapped together for a bit there, powerful female characters, should you guys really be flirting right now? and MORE. Listen, just go read it now and thank me later. 

9. That which hurts (and is desired) - @shealwaysreads - 19k - E - Draco was lying still, and pale, on a bed in a private room in St Mungo’s. The sheets were white, clean, enchanted against stains, vanishing the blood that kept spilling out of him. He hadn’t moved in two days. Not a twitch of his elegant fingers. Not a blink of his fierce eyes. Harry couldn’t even see the faint flutter of his pulse in his throat from where he stood at the foot of the bed, helpless, impotent, furious.

This fic is written so, so beautifully that it aches and leaves such an impression that, thinking back on it, every emotion hits me just as hard as it did when I was reading it. Everything Harry felt, I felt, every moment where he found himself just a little bit more in love with Draco, I was there, every moment of his frustration when Draco is hit with a curse nobody can decipher, I was there for it. With non-linear storytelling, it is evocative, a masterclass in narration, pacing, characterization and beautiful, lyrical writing. I nearly have no words for it. It features: auror partners that work together seamlessly, a dash of pining, a helping of very, very hot sex, and a love story that feels soft like a dream and thrilling like a race. This was the very last story I read in 2019, and I could not have ended the year on a better note. Definitely check this one out.

10. For Thine Is The Kingdom - @kedavranox - 66k - E - On a secret mission, Draco is Turned. With no memory of what happened, he learns that to save his missing Auror partner and regain what he’s lost, he must uncover the long-buried secrets of the vampire covens. To do that, Draco must open his mind and heart to what he has become, the new-found family that surrounds him, and the man who has remained steadfast at his side through it all.Harry spent five years avoiding the man he fell in love with, but when Draco needs his help, he cannot refuse. As they race against the clock to find Draco’s partner, Harry discovers that the bond they share is nothing to hide from, and that he'll never outrun the pace of his own heart.

And last but absolutely not least, there’s this freaking diamond of a story. I swear I want to squeal whenever I remember it. I’ll be brief: it is one of my absolute favorite fics of all time. In here, there’s vampires, unspeakables, a big investigation, wonderful side characters and information given in small little doses as we learn alongside the characters and piece together an entire picture. It’s dazzling, incredibly detailed in every way, with shades to each character and nuances to every interaction and bit of magic we get to see. I feel like anything I can say is not enough, I can never do this story justice. I have tried before, and written the gushiest individual fic rec of my LIFE but just- I honestly have no more words to express how much I think everyone needs to read this. Please, check that rec out, please, check this story out. There is absolutely nothing like it.

----

And that wraps it for 2019! Thank you to all who take the time to check out my lists, and THANK YOU specially if you give these incredible stories a chance, because they deserve all the love in the world. Once again: All the way from here, behind a username and a few tumblr posts, I can honestly say that these 30 stories made my year. I hope they can make yours, too ❤️ If you ever want to discuss these (for tag concerns or plain flailing) (or any story really) my DM’s are always open!!!

[bettsfic]

march pinned: ending the sex project

in the march edition of my lowkey writing-related newsletter, in addition to my writing-related post roundup and upcoming consultation availability, i have personal essay recommendations and a segment on the definition of a project!

for more information on my creative coaching services, check out my carrd.

if you want to receive my lowkey writing-related newsletter directly, you can subscribe here.

full newsletter below the cut, or you can read it here.

fuck february, amiright?

i thought january was bad. but february. february was the stuff of nightmares. my cousin passed away from covid (you can read about her here; she was really an amazing person and i feel so lucky to have known her). i was finally formally diagnosed with PCOS (bittersweet, i guess). my car broke down. i took two (2) days off and it took me two and a half weeks to get caught up again. i can only hope march treats us all a little more gently.

the good news is, i finished revisions on my short story collection to send to my agent, finished workshop submissions for the semester, and now i can return to my first love, fanfiction. that i am constantly working through original fiction to return to fanfiction has been making me think a lot about the nature of a creative, capital-p Project. so, this month’s BTALA (been thinkin a lot about) is going to inspect the concept of a “project.”

new resource

last month i unveiled a folder of my favorite short stories which i’m pleased to hear several of you have perused and gotten some inspiration from. this month i’ve compiled my favorite personal essays. there are fewer essays than there are short stories because i’ve broken them into two groups: personal and craft. next month i hope to have the craft essays compiled.

i’m always looking for more things to love, so if you have recommendations for your favorite short stories and essays, i’d be happy to hear them!

writing-related posts

how to physically maneuver the revision process

the difference between M and E ratings of fic

resources for worldbuilding (check out the reblogs for more!)

a couple syntax/prose book recs

how to break a long work into chapters

march availability

unfortunately i have to cut my coaching hours down a bit, so i don’t have any openings left in march, but i have some availability in april. if you’re interested in a writing consultation, please fill out this google form!

you can learn more about my services on my carrd.

what i’m into rn

for the past year, i’ve basically been trapped in a 10x10 room, and my health is definitely reflecting that, both mentally (does anyone else feel like they’re living in groundhog day? just, every day being exactly the same except fractionally worse than the day before??) and physically (i reorganized the kitchen and could barely move for two days).

reader, i have discovered something called “walking,” in which i put on real human shoes and go outside. it feels strange, bestial. neighbors wave hello to me. a harrowing experience.

while doing this, this walking, i’ve been listening to the lolita podcast which a friend recommended to me, a ten-episode series that dives into everything lolita: the novel itself, its context, adaptations, greater cultural responses, and — as a sticker on my laptop says — vladimir “russian dreamboat” nabokov. as far as i can tell it seems well-researched and presents the many perspectives of lolita in a fair way. i’m only a few eps in, but i’m entranced so far. highly recommended if you, like me, have a complicated relationship with lolita.

i’ve also found myself mildly addicted to a mobile otome game called obey me, which. look i know it’s like the definition of cringe but it’s also mind-numbingly fun and if i want to spend my minimal free time pretending 7 demon brothers are all vying for my affection then that’s between me and god. it’s a lot of what i loved about WoW: frequent events, bright colors, a daily to do list of simple but satisfying tasks, many many rewards, and it doesn’t take itself very seriously. and if i have 4k fic written of mammon/reader that’s nobody’s business but mine and my longsuffering ao3 subscribers.

i’m telling you this because i don’t know anyone else who plays it and am desperate to trade headcanons. so if you play, or start playing, hit me up!! i will give u mad tips and daily AP.

been thinkin a lot about

the project. the project. even the word “project.” PROject (noun). proJECT (verb). what is the project? “project” comes from the latin pro and jacare which means “to throw forward,” or projectum which means “something prominent.” a projector throws forward an image. to project onto something means to throw your perspective onto something else. to embark on a project is to make something prominent in your life. the concept of “the projects” comes from public housing projects, the government throwing forward affordable housing.

what is the project? in joseph harris’ essay “coming to terms” he says that “to define the project of a writer is…to push beyond his text, to hazard a view about not only what someone has said but also what he was trying to accomplish by saying it.” harris’ perspective is that of an english teacher encouraging his students to read critically, not just to summarize a text but to find its project, its greater purpose. and while i first read this essay in a seminar on composition pedagogy, it stuck with me as a writer. it made me reconsider the greater nature of the creative project.

how many of us, if asked to describe our writing project, would begin with a plot or character premise, the nuts and bolts of a specific story? maybe even the working title? but i wonder, is breaking out the plot really the project? is the discipline of sitting down and typing really the project? and when the story is finished, is the project over? what is the project?

in 2019, i wrote 86k words of a novel. i began revising that novel last fall, and i’m finding that i’ll probably keep maybe less than 10k of that initial draft. i’m not bothered by that. the novel i wrote before that started at 125k, then i rewrote the entire thing to 200k, then i whittled it back down to 160k, and next i’ll be tasked with paring it back down to 80k. i’m not bothered by that either. in the past five years or so i’ve written about 2 million words, and i’ve only published 20k of them. only 1% of what i’ve written, i’ve published. in the words of lauren cooper (catherine tate), i’m not bothered.

i used to see publication as the birth of the project, and writing it akin to a long gestation period. then i saw publication as the death of the project, and its life was lived in its drafting. now, publication seems irrelevant to the project. the confines of a story and its many revisions are also irrelevant to the project. the beginning of a story is not the start of the project and the end of the story is not the end of the project. the project is larger than the story, its revisions, its publication, and its eventual readership.

i think it took me so long to see this because for so many years i was still in my first project, the sex project, an exploration of trauma and sexual identity, which began in 2014 with destiel fanfiction, endured through many fandom shifts, my MFA, years adrift as an adjunct, all the way through 2020 with the completion of my short story collection. i used to wonder how anyone could write about anything other than sex. to me it was the only topic worth my attention. i was certain that i would spend my entire life being a sex writer and i’d never find fulfillment writing a young adult sci fi adventure or a highly literary novel about complicated family dynamics. i was baffled by people who were interested in other things, who could write entire novels without using the word “cock” even once.

then my sex project ended. i don’t know when exactly it happened or why, but suddenly i realized i never wanted to write another artful description of an orgasm or find a tactful euphemism for a vagina ever again (personally i prefer “wet cunt” because not only is it blunt, i find it phonetically pleasing). obviously i’m still writing explicit fanfic but it doesn’t feel the same as it used to. sex feels more sidelined to me, even if it’s still the center and drive of a fic. i no longer get any personal satisfaction from writing it, although i do get satisfaction in sharing the work for readers to enjoy.

it’s like i’ve somehow solved the biggest puzzle of my life. or i guess made peace with my meanest monster, that extremely complicated double-mind of desire that some non-sex-repulsed asexuals feel: you want to feel desire you can’t actually feel so you write it into fiction, to try to understand this thing you can’t have and which society tells you you’re missing, and you don’t even know if you don’t have it, because you still feel desire for affection and intimacy, and maybe even a desire to be desired. and for those of us who are asexual and have c-ptsd, sex you don’t actually want (but don’t know you don’t want, because maybe you’re ambivalent and mildly curious and touch-starved) and an unrelenting drive toward people-pleasing can be a dangerous combination. how can you ever know what consent is if you always put other people’s desires above your own?

maybe i’m alone in this. maybe i’m not. maybe for most people, wanting sex is a light switch: yes i want it, or no i don’t. but for me, i had to write a whole lot of words to figure out things like desire, consent, intimacy, forgiveness, the shape that good love takes. the lengthy theoretical flowchart of “i might be interested in having sex if this and this and this and this and this happens in this exact order and under these exact circumstances.”

it was hard to write something into reality that i have never seen except in pieces, in subtext i clung to with no lexicon to give it shape and meaning. te lawrence in lawrence of arabia. some of tarantino’s early work. the film benny and joon. and weirdly, the star wars prequels (that one’s hard to explain; i’ll spare you). i don’t think the sex project was about coming to terms with my asexuality as much as it was trying to organize my thoughts and feelings by continuously rendering my own experiences within a greater, shinier ideal — like how you sometimes have to unravel the entire skein of yarn to find the loose end, and only then can you get started.

i guess i’m in the infancy of the power project now. i’m moving toward themes of control, infamy, greatness. the exact circumstances in which atrocity occurs. how people rise into leadership and fall from grace. the consequences of success. i don’t know why this project has come to me, or what, if anything, it has to do with me. i’m not famous and have no intention of becoming famous; i don’t have social power or influence, at least not beyond my little corner of fandom, and i’m not interested in having it. and yet, here we are, already hundreds of thousands of words in.

my fics digging for orchids (tgcf) and a standing engagement (the hunger games) deal with the detriments of fame. and even float (breaking bad) to a degree is about the aftermath of being so close to power. my novel cherry pop, loosely based on macbeth, is about an ongoing power exchange between two teenage girls. my other novel, vandal, is about a girl who believes she has magic powers and casts a spell on her neighbor to fall in love with her. and i’m in the very early stages of a novel called groundswell, a cult story i’ve been wanting to write for years. i had no idea why i couldn’t write it until i realized it wasn’t yet my project. i’m not even to the stage of developing characters, let alone a premise or plot. i’m still just building my aesthetic pile (i discuss the aesthetic pile here, as well as vandal in more detail), watching documentaries on cults, reading books, finding inspiration, marking down ideas as they come. it may be years before i’m ready to sit down and write it.

now that i know what the project is, i have more patience with myself. it doesn’t bother me to rewrite a novel from the beginning, or to scrap novels altogether, because the story isn’t the project. the project cannot be diminished by cutting words, sentences, paragraphs, entire chapters. the project does not have a product. the project cannot be published. the project is in the practice, in dragging the impossibly large into clear, acute existence, so you can see it. so you can see the very center of what you thought was an unknowable thing.

[liberty-barnes]

Miah’s 1K Celebration

so...

welcome to the mess that is my 1k celebration cause i’m unable to make simple choices and can’t stand the thought of letting people down

as you can see, i’m perfectly normal

the literal 1005 people following me would disagree on that but heyyy details

so anyway

one thousand

one bloody thousand people following me

my inicial reaction is whyyyy??? i’m just a bisexual disaster who sometimes writes a half decent fanfic but you deemed me worthy of your follow?

then i started crying cause yk

but bottomline is, i love you all, you’re the bestest people in the whole entire world, so i’m gonna make both a sleepover and a writing challenge

sleepover cause i like answering questions

writing challenge cause it gives me a chance to show you all other artists and discover other artists myself cause we all need them and they deserve more recognition

special shoutout to my mutuals who i’ll tag at the end for always being there for me and supporting me through every high and every low, y’all are the real heroes here

BUT ANYWAY, ONTO THE CELEBRATION PART, WHICH FINDS ITSELF UNDER THE CUT OTHERWISE IT’D BE TOO BIG TO PROPERLY REBLOG (i tend to ramble a bit, but you already knew that)

Starts: December 11th 2020

Ends: December 20th 2020

Who can participate: everyone, anon or not! no need to be following me either

send me asks for:

✨ my opinion on...

🌻 cast my mutuals as...

🎵 i'll put my playlist on shuffle and give you a song

🍉 random fact about me

🦔 what's my favorite...

🍀 i'll give you advice (or just listen to you rant, if you want)

💬 last text [insert person] sent me

💌 handwritten letter

🎬 movie rec

📖 fic or blog rec

📘 inspiration behind [insert fic name], how i came up with it or if you have questions about it

🖋 line from one of my WIPs (tell me if you want fluff or angst, i won't tell you the pairing or anything, that's no fun)

💋 kiss, date, marry [insert people]

🎤 give me a song an i'll do a mini cover of it (it will be 1min long tops cause that's all tumblr can take lmao)

📷 random picture from my camera roll (you can request a theme if you want, like pictures from my childhood or awkward pics or something)

Rules:

• Open to anyone (don't have to be following me)

• Send me a DM or ask with the prompt(s) you want (two people tops per work) and who you're writing about

• Smut is allowed but make sure to put it in the warnings

• I will accept works for any Marvel character or cast member, part of the Holland clan, 1D member or affiliated, Teen Wolf characters or cast member, Maze Runner character or cast member

• Can be reader inserts or not, but please specify it in your DM/ask too

• Tag me when you're done

• All works will be rebloged under #Miah's 1k writing challenge and put in a masterlist that will be specifically created for this writing challenge

Starts: December 11th 2020

Ends: January 11th 2020

Prompt list:

1. “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

2. “Home stopped being a place when you entered my life.”

3. “Stop moving and let me braid your hair.”

4. “Could you say that again?” “Were you not listening?” “No I was, I just like hearing your voice.”

5. “Can you just please hold me?”

6. “You come here often?” “Well considering I work here, yes.”

7. “Can I stay here tonight?”

8. “You’re really warm.”

9. “I’ve been in-love with you since we were kids.”

10. “Why are you wearing my sweater?” “Because it smells like you.”

11. “You are crushing me right now.”

12. “Darling I love you and all, but please get out of my kitchen.”

13. "I leave you alone for five minutes and this happens."

14. "I didn't fall. The floor looked lonely so I wanted to hug it." "Then why are you crying?" "It was an emotional reunion."

15. "There's no such thing as too many fairy lights."

16. “I’m leaving.” “Of course you are, that’s all you know how to do.”

17. “I love you.” “No you don’t��

18. “Any other lies left to tell me?”

19. “I miss the old you.”

20. “What happened to their happily ever after?” “Not all love stories get a happily ever after, sometimes it’s just once upon a time.”

21. “Lie to me. I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”

22. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.”

23. "It's okay. It's not your fault that I couldn't be enough."

24. "Please don't leave me."

25. "You have the emotional range of a teaspoon."

26. "Will you shut up for once in your life?"

27. "This isn't about us."

28. "I will shove a christmas tree so far up your ass that when you open your mouth we'll see the fairy lights."

29. "I'm not crying, my eyes are sweating"

30. "Is that blood?" "Yes, but it's not mine." "Is that supposed to make it better?"

31. "I’ll drink to that.” “You drink to everything.” “Cheers!”

32. “Why is arson always your first answer?”

33. "What are you doing?" "What does it look like I'm doing?"

34. "I can explain!" "Then explain." "Okay, I can't explain."

35. "Get out of here with your facts. Just because you're accurate does not mean you're interesting."

36. "How many hearts did you break while trying to keep yours intact?"

37. "I know everything. It's in the job description."

38. "One more word out of you and I'll rip your throat out with my teeth."

39. "Do you listen to girl in red?"

40. "Is that code for something or am I just paranoid?"

41. "With how things have been going, I might as well start working at a circus."

42. "I love (him/her/them)." "Then why did you give up?" "Cause (he/she/they) deserved better."

43. "I want to ask but something tells me the answer will be more disturbing than anything I can think of."

44. "Do you think he's... *flicks wrist*?"

45. "Do I look like an idiot to you?" "Do you want me to answer that honestly or politely?"

46. "Just how clumsy are you?"

47. "So... the weather?"

48. "Just leave."

49. "Don't you fucking dare!"

50. "You don't have to talk right now. But whenever you're ready, if you're ever ready, I'll be here to listen."

tagging and complimenting my amazing mutuals cause y’all deserve it

@parkersbliss​ thank you for marrying me, first of all, and for being the most amazing wife one could ask. i wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you and i will never stop ebing thankful for your existence

@peterspideyy​ thank you for listening to my rants along with grace and supporting me during all my simping, you’re the sweetest thing existing since powdered sugar

@theamazingtomholland​ thank you for always putting a smile on my face, reminding me that i’m loved everyday and just being you, cause it’s the best thing you could be

@lozzypoz321​ thank you for listening to me rant abt my fics and how much i hate writing and then motivating me to write again or do basic things like get out of bed lmao (we still have the best taste in music)

@everything-is-alrightt​ kenzie lovely, thank you for being the pure little ball of unfiltered joy that you are cause even thinking about you and the jump shit your brothers get up to makes me smile like crazy, you’re amazing and don’t you dare forget it

@spider-trash​ thank you for being my brother, going alon with my ridiculous schemes for corrupting posie and making me laugh out loud every time you come up with something even worse, you’re the coolest bro i could ask for

and finally, thank you @fallinfortom​ for inspiring me to write in the first place, being an amazing mum to us, an actual good role model for me to have and for your random appearances in my dreams and the fun english teacher who makes us read tom holland fics instead of english literature. you’re amazing and i’m incredibly thankful to know you

love you all to the ends of the universe and back again, Miah

[shorkbrian]

ASKS

Hello again, asks are compiled under the cut. Please block the tag #shorkbrian answers a lot of asks# If you’d prefer not to see these types of posts from me. If I haven’t answered your ask, it’s because I’m saving it for a thirst, drabble, or fic.

I don’t ignore asks, but sometimes getting around to them overwhelms me lol. pls accept my apologies lol k here we go

I am very glad, I legit was so scared that it was too long and that it’d be disappointing bc the smut wasn’t super IN YOUR FACE yknow? But man am I glad to hear that.

I’m looking directly @ you

Someone noticed omg!!!  A lot of times I just put whatever song I played on repeat while writing that fit, but I have a *yandere* playlist that I listen to and it gets me going. Ty for noticing!!!

I’ve considered opening them permanently but I just... idek. I’d have to start deleting or ignoring the requests I don’t vibe with and Idk how to handle that lol. But thanks for the well wishes, hope your next few months treat you well friend!

Watermelon sugar why

Srsly you’re sweet but just wait until I start to really get going with all my nasty kinks okay, then you’ll be rethinking this strategy hunty lol!

I literally stalk @.vermiliren and @.kazooli and @.seita lol. Maybe when I get my blog more cleaned up, I’ll create a list of creators that I enjoy, along with fic recs. For now, here’s a link to my AO3 bookmarks which I read one like almost every single night bc I’m a horny gremlin.

I am the shark king. Sharks are my thing bro u don’t even know. I love them so much, they're dumb and big and beautiful and yeah I wish I was a mermaid who got to swim with them. Also I changed it bc I’m trying to make my blog more *professional* and all that so I can start being taken seriously askjakjdf

Compliments suck, if I'm being down and out honest. This does not bother me at all, I’m just unsure how to respond. I think I would prefer no comments, but I’m trying really really hard to just say “thank you!” and move on before I get uncomfortable. Having to fight with someone about how I perceive my self worth is exhausting, and especially so for the poor person that was just trying to say something nice and be nice to me. 

They do make me quite uncomfortable my dear lad/lassie/lasso. Say what you wish in the tags tho ! I don’t really reply to those, so there’s no pressure on me to have to say something back. I do however, see all the tags ppl use and some of them make me laugh so hard cause they’re so spot on, and it makes my day. like “Mark me down as scared AND horny” and “Bakugou better be able to bench 165 cause imma throw my fatass in his mf lap” and it kills me.

I SCEREAMED AKDHGSYDGASJSD this is the only format I'll be taking asks in now, no compliments just a yes/no answer to if my works help u cum god bless

you used the /gen!!!!! IDK what these are called but the /S and /gen and /J save my life!!!!

Frick you’ve figured me out, I do try to put like a nail-in-the-coffin sentence at the end. A lot of times it never works right, but I cannot for the life of my figure out how to end a single post ever. If anyone knows hmu pls ty

(Also ps I checked out ur blog cause yans are my jam and it is very much Not garbage!!)

That’s very kind of you, but pls don’t stay up past midnight it’s bad for ur Brian you’ll make bad decisions bro trust me all of my stuff is written after midnight

You will lafff..... but I will tell anyways..... I was prescribed a “life coach” after I got out of the hospital, which was really just a poorly disguised softcore “make sure u don’t yeet urself” type of thing. He had me write down things I liked about myself, and when I returned the sheet of paper still blank, he wrote stuff down for me. Like five sentences of “My hair and skin are unique and special” “I like animals and enjoy being kind to them” “I am worthy of respect” etc etc. and I had to look in a mirror twice a day and say those sentences to help “boost my self worth”. It sucked so bad dude, and I like got upset about it every time it came up, until finally my therapist was like “... this aint doin this sad bitch no good” and my parents got designated for yeet watch instead.

I know, logically, that (the majority of) people are not purposefully taking time out of their day to make me feel bad. They're trying to be encouraging and loving, and I appreciate it so much. But like... what do I say? If I say thanks, it’s almost like acknowledging what they're saying as true, and I can’t live with myself thinking I’m more than I am. I’m sorry you’ve had experiences that make compliments difficult for you also, I understand bro and I hope that your future holds healing and peace for you. 

Hopefully I won’t vent as much anymore lol, I’ll try to do that on my sideblog where I reblog really trigger-y memes akjdafhkjf. But thank you for your kind words bro, they’re appreciated and put in a nice lil jar.

Ah dw! This doesn’t sound like a jab. I think all of us r so sad n depressed and feel unworthy of love, so the fantasy of a Yan coming and forcing it on us and not leaving even when we lash out is just..... so attractive my heads gonna explode

me, thinking about kiri at any given moment like:

I have the next Hybrid! Kiri fic like lined up, but I’m so demotivated be I was SO CLOSE to finishing, and then wiped my computer like an IDITO

Waso, I’m taking horseback riding lessons bc my mom went:

and my grandpa told me that one of his horses was named Awaso and I immediately thot of u fun fact. But you’re so very kind, and I enjoy seeing you in my inbox. I’m never tired of u homie. You are loved and important, and it’s not an illusion. Even random strangers on the internet can feel soft towards you bro, and dats me, I’m the random stranger that likes u.

So I took Russian for a year, my dear friend, because I wanted to see if the language myth of “Russian is the hardest, Korean is the easiest” was true. I would say yes. So instead of like translating this and typing out a coherent response, I’ve resorted to google translate I’m so sorry but Виктор мог плюнуть мне в глаз, и я бы поблагодарил его. Also, the way Vitya is written in cryllic makes my heart swell it looks so cozy idek what I mean by that but it does? I treasure you man, hope to see you around in the new year and maybe??? we be good friends

Can any year be good when Kirishima Eijirou doesn’t exist?

cryface;;sad.jpg

I just imagine anyone who comes across my stuff, sitting at their computer shocked and slightly horrified, maybe turned on like

Daddy Aizawa makes me

Wait!! I have something to aid your troubles!!

ur welcome now u can be horny whenever you’d like 

pls every time we talk about Kirishima I have to act surprised like 

LISTEN BBYGORL I have had therapist Suga in the works since *checks notes* November. I am excited for it yeahhhhhh but sadly, I don’t think I will be continuing piano teacher Suga. The story is petered out in my mind, idk where it would go. Therapist sugarbird tho? We have some thots about this. Coming soon to theaters near you

[decembermoonskz]

Hello moonbeams~! Writing letters is something I’m good at, because even if I stumble in all other forms of communication sometimes, my writing, my words never fail me. The overall negative energy, annoyance and sometimes hatred towards the pandemic, the social/political topics and the year in general can be very draining and or taxing on me and you all. Of course we’re upset too but seeing so much hate can be draining for people like me, and maybe you. So for a moment, grab a seat and a blanket and listen as I read this letter to you. This is a letter from me, to you, and I offer a blessing from her majesty the moon herself as well.

2020 has been one hell of a year that’s for sure. I experienced a lot of sadness, fatigue and overall lower moods as I tend to take on the energy of the world heavily. There has been so much that’s happened to us all, sadness, fear, anger, heartbreak; but even still we survived it. There were so many that felt we wouldn’t make it through this year or make it to the end as it felt like it would go on forever, but we’re here now, to write these letters, to tell these stories. 

Even in this hectic year, I experienced so much, I felt happiness, joy I cried a lot and released so many pent up feelings, I came to terms with things I had locked away, I laughed a lot, I found passions that I thought were long lost. So much has happened to me in this year both ups and downs and I’m grateful for it all. You may be wondering why I would be grateful for downs as well, they helped teach me things, how strong I am; how it’s okay to give in and feel your sadness or pain; to validate my emotions; and a lot more. I hope that with all that’s happened you were able to take in some lessons yourself.

Below this cut, I wanted to thank some people who made my experience on tumblr as wonderful as it has been, more amazing than I had ever expected it to be. I came on here extremely nervous about sharing my stories and these people have been so warm and welcoming and honestly I wouldn’t have enjoyed my time as much without them. I’ll have my ending message at the bottom of this. 

@sleepylixie Lily darling, my brain twin!! you’ve made my short tumblr life so much fun! sharing brain waves one moment, soundboarding ideas the next, and having so many things in common between us it’s crazy (wolfie gang). You’ve become one of the best things to happen to me on this site! xoxo thank you for always sharing your wonderful ideas with me and for sharing my love of fantasy!! Oh and I can’t forget all the shared screaming we do over skz and anything else xD I’m so glad we started talking and even in just a short time I feel so close to you already!! Thank you for letting me vent out all my ideas and for letting me be that person for your ideas too, thank you for always giving such good feedback and opinions and thank you for just overall being one of my favorite people to talk to. I hope we can make more wonderful memories in the coming year and beyond it. love you darling have a beautiful 2021~ 💜💜💜 ⟪ song rec: Another Day - Stray Kids ⟫

@rebecca-noona​ Becca! You were the first person to interact with my blog and when I look back on it, I’m so thankful you did. I love our talks about Korea and skz and writing. Your support has always been incredibly helpful, thank you for always being a cheerleader for me, it means the world. I hope you know I love you and support you and your works and whatever you wish to do so much as well!! I’m so happy we started talking and you make me so happy. Thank you for being my friend and when I finally get to Korea you gotta show me around when you get back!! I hope your process of getting back is smooth and easy, stay as optimistic as you can love!! xoxo  ⟪ song rec: motive - Ariana Grande (ft. Doja Cat) ⟫ 

@skzctnightnight​ bel! bel! :DD it’s your words of encouragement that helped me create this blog, you’re one of the reasons I’m here!! your works have been some of my favorites and I was so happy when I first reached out to you. Your kindness really touched me and being your anon at the time was so much fun >v< Prowl will forever be one of my favorite series and you inspire me with your works!! I love talking with you no matter if it’s a quick chat, or a long convo, I always love talking to you. Thank you for making my 2020 so nice! I’m glad I know you and let’s talk more soon! <3  ⟪ song rec: Clarity - Kim Petras ⟫ 

@aliceu​ Alice!! I’m so thankful we met by chance when replying to one of Lily’s posts LOL I think it was an ask of yours about fantasy, and we shared a mutual love for it xD I want you to know that I always smile and I’m always happy when you send asks or dms so please I hope you never worry about being a bother and keep sending them hehe >v</ Thank you for always taking some of your time  to check out my stories and for always leaving such wonderful feedback too!! It makes me happy to read your mini reviews about them!! Thanks for having little chats with me too. I enjoy them always and I hope we can continue to chat more 2021!! Please have a great new year and stay safe and comfy uwu ⟪ song rec: TMT - Stray Kids ⟫ 

@t-toodumbtocare​ Bar! xoxo I’m so glad we finally started talking and I’m hoping we can talk more soon >w<b You’re so fun and sweet and your stories are cute!! I wanna read more soon!! >^<9 Thanks for our little chats and thanks for checking out my stories as well I appreciate it. I hope to get to know you better in the coming year and I hope you have the best 2021!!  ⟪ song rec: Cruel Summer - Taylor Swift ⟫ 

@delicatewerewolfsoul​​ Vicky!!! I’m so happy we started talking! I loved talking about animals and pets with you and I loved all the skz soft hours asks you sent (I hope you send more of them psst psst) they made my day!! You’re such a sweetheart and you’re a master of heart memes xD I hope your 2021 is wonderful just like you are!! Stay safe and warm you cute bean xoxo ⟪ song rec: Inception - ATEEZ ⟫ 

@dreamescapeswriting​ Hi M!!! Okay full disclosure!! I’ve actually read some of your works before having tumblr LOL Like I really enjoyed them (Lucky and You Love Me are so cute) and honestly I was shy about reaching out but I’m so glad I did because now I wanna continue to talk and send you hugs! >V< I’m so glad we’re both gamers and your asks make me so happy! Thank you for being the sweetie you are and I hope we can talk more in 2021!! Have a great new year cutie!! <3 ⟪ song rec: False God - Taylor Swift ⟫ 

to my mutuals and other moonbeams who I wanna talk to more and love and support so much!! @mikoto-ica-fics​ @hanflix​ @chogiwow​ @redsandroses​ @meiiyue​ @missskzbiased​ @rosieecheeks​ I hope we can talk more in the new year and I love you a lot!!! You’re all such beautiful souls!! Know I’m sending you love and hugs and all the support I can muster \>v</ xoxoxoxoxo ⟪ song rec: Breath - GOT7 ⟫ 

To my beautiful nonnies, I’m super happy you’re here. I miss you all and hope you’re well and to the new ones welcome welcome!! I hope you know all your messages make me so happy! When I started my blog, I didn’t imagine I’d have as many anons as I do now, I didn’t think I’d have many, maybe 2 or 3? You guys make me so happy and I hope to see you more in my inbox when you have the time!!! <33 ⟪ song rec: You Can STAY - Stray Kids ⟫ 

To all my followers, my darling moonbeams!! Thank you so much for joining on this journey of practice and self-love that I’ve been trying to embark on. The comments, the reblogs, the likes, the asks, all of it, it means the world to me. To re-learn that it is possible for people to enjoy what I do, and not tie it to my own self-worth has been something I’m so thankful for. You all helped me learn that so thank you. I hope you continue to enjoy the stories I put out and feel free to reach out anytime! I’m so happy to have 300+ (almost 400) of you lovely moonbeams here! I hope you all have a wonderful 2021! It doesn’t matter who you are, how old you are, where you come from, what you identify as, what you believe in, or who you love; you are all precious moonbeams here in this haven.  ⟪ song rec: Haven - Stray Kids ⟫ 

I know I say it a million times but since this is a wrapup letter I’ll share it again shortly. My blog was made for the main purpose of learning to appreciate my passion for writing and to not cage myself from posting and sharing my stories. I wanted to learn to write for myself and that posting stories in and of itself was the main victory, and everything else was the bonus, instead of thinking when people like it, only then is it good. I’ve done that before and having learned from it I now feel more prepared to tackle this. Thank you again for all the warm welcomes and the love I’ve received it still hasn’t quite sunk in for me and it feels so unreal. To know you all enjoy my stories and give me so much love, it’s crazy and it’s happening and I am so happy. I’m very thankful I took the leap of faith even though I was scared and decided to create this blog! 2020 challeneged me as well as pushed me and supported me. I experienced hard times yes, but I also experienced some really amazing things. I found comfort in things new and old, I feel like the quarantine made me come to terms with myself more, not run from things I wanted to confront and talk to myself more. I feel like 2020 albeit really draining in all ways, helped shape me and I got stronger because of living through this year. Now before I get any more preach-y than I already have LOL Thank you for being a part of my 2020 everyone!! I hope to have you with me in 2021 and I hope you experience the blessings of the moon like I feel we all do. See you in 2021 y’all! We’ll get through next year and the next and the next, I know it! 💜

Love Izzy 

[army-of-mai-lovers]

50 followers celebration!!!!!!!

So it appears that 50 entire people have decided that following my blog is a good idea, imagine that? I’m honestly super stoked, truly cannot believe that my blog has blown up like this. It really wasn’t that long ago that I was just talking to myself on here about trash reality TV, and now people actually are listening to things I’m saying? wild. Absolutely wild. Every single person who follows me is absolutely incredible and I’m so happy to have all of you <33333333

So, in honor of this, I’m going to do a part 2 to my fic recs post, a) bc it’s kind of the thing that made my blog blow up, and b) because honestly the traction that that post has gotten and continues to get makes me so happy, and I want to go even further in supporting fic authors and content creators more generally. 

I’m also doing hcs and mini-fics! You can send me an ask for hcs or a prompt for a mini-fic about any ATLA character or a character from the Kyoshi novels (unfortunately though I reblog a lot of lok on here I haven’t actually watched it so no lok for now). For the hcs you can request if you want them to be trans hcs or something else (yes, I know Trans Tuesday was yesterday and I missed it but in my heart every day is Trans Tuesday so there) I’ll have that open for the next week. Both the hcs and the mini-fics are open to everybody who a) follows me (doesn’t matter how long you’ve been following me, if you start following me after this is posted, if we’re mutuals, what have you) b) reblogs this post. 

Shout out to my mutuals  @bymoonandfire @maeples @bi-kyoshis @unfried-mouth-wheat @ikkii @katarahairloopies @aangsblush @romanovnat @transjinora @bluberry-spicehead @bigender-suki @ozaiphobic @visit-ba-sing-se I love you all and everybody should go follow y’all bc you’re all awesome!!

[officialthiamlibrary]

Meet The Mods - iftheskyisthelimit

We’ve had a few requests to do something similar to our “Behind The Screens” features in order to introduce ourselves, and we felt that after around a year of running this blog, and having another few people come on board along the way that now would probably be a good time to do it! 

The idea is that we’ll each take a turn at filling out and posting one of these so that you guys can to know us all a little better including our own personal tastes/preferences and get a little bit more of an idea of how we all work and what we each bring to the team etc…

About You

Username/Name: 

iftheskyisthelimit / Lisa

AO3/Tumblr: 

https://archiveofourown.org/users/iftheskyisthelimit / http://iftheskyisthelimit.tumblr.com/ 

How did you find your way to the Thiam fandom? What about them drew you in? 

I’d lurked in the Teen Wolf fandom for a while on Tumblr, and became really interested in Theo’s character and his story since he’d shown up in Season 5 (okay at first it was his looks that got me interested… let’s be honest), which evolved into being interested in his backstory when we found out a bit more about him. It wasn’t until his return in Season 6 that I enjoyed watching their characters together and their interactions and started looking around more on Tumblr for their characters that I discovered it wasn’t just me... then I randomly came across the Thiam ship through seeing some fics on Tumblr and found the Official Thiam Library as result of that... 

Using a sentence, where the word count is either equal to or less than the number of letters in your two favorite Teen Wolf episode names, tell us about yourself. (ex, Motel California + Werewolves of London = 33 ; Raving + Galvanize =15)

Memory Found + Apotheosis = 21 - I’m slightly quirky but serious, love music, reading and travelling... kinda funny and always overly organised. Can’t ever cut something short...

What’s one thing about you or your life that we’d be surprised to know about?

Do you want serious, interesting or fun facts? I’ll do both as they might surprise people. Serious/boring: I have at least 3 chronic illnesses which tend to floor me, hence my long absences between writing & updating what I’m working on. Interesting: I can speak/read/understand around 5 languages and I’m a bit of a different cultures & sociology nerd.

One other thing I guess is when I get interested in a topic I get interested and have to know aallllll the ins and outs of it and thoroughly research it, so I’m probably full of boring random facts about a bunch of things that come in handy on general knowledge quizzes, but which no-one has any interest in knowing...

Other Shows/Movies You Follow:

Does too many to mention count as an answer? No? Okay… In no particular order *deep breath* 

Shows: The Handmaids Tale, Animal Kingdom, The 100, Vikings, Stranger Things, All American, Riverdale, Scream, Supernatural, Parks and Rec, Vampire Diaries, Big Bang Theory, Modern Family, Twelve Monkeys, Shadow Hunters, Game Of Thrones, Reign, American Horror Story, Buffy… There are literally a ton more but I really can’t think on them at the moment….

Movies: I can’t really say that I follow movies per-se… if I had to choose I’d say Marvel movies though if that counts as an answer? Umm… genre wise I like a wide range but mainly gravitate towards comedy, action and thriller movies. Or something with a good twist in the story where it either throws what you thought you were watching on its head, or you get an “aaahhhhh that’s was happening” moment. To watch a horror, it has to have that something that makes me want to watch it or get invested in it… whether it’s a character I really relate to or can get invested in, or a really good story. My favourite horror is probably Haunting In Connecticut, and I saw Midsommar recently and thought it was really amazingly done!

Other Fandoms You Follow:

I don’t really follow a lot of fandoms if I’m honest. I would probably say after Teen Wolf I follow the Marvel, The 100 and Supernatural fandoms more. Mainly the Captain America/Steve/Bucky fandoms. I love a good discussion about Animal Kingdom too!

Other Favourite Characters from shows/movies?

Uuuuhhhh…. Okay you asked for it, I was going to explain my reasons for why I love each but I’d be here all day and this part alone would end up turning into an essay.

Steve Harrington (Stranger Things), April Ludgate (Parks and Rec) , Sam Winchester (Supernatural), Craig Middlebrooks (Parks and Rec), Mickey Milkovich (Shameless US), Bucky Barnes (Marvel), James Cole (Twelve Monkeys), Jack Kline (Supernatural), Michael Langon (American Horror Story), Catherine de Medici (Reign), Constance Langdon (American Horror Story), Dean Winchester (Supernatural), Alec Lightwood (Shadow Hunters), Anya Jenkins (Buffy), Raphael Santiago (Shadow Hunters), Stephane Narcisse (Reign), Kai Parker (Vampire Diaries), John Murphy (The 100) 

What do you like to create (writing/art/videos)? 

I’d really love to be creative enough to make art or videos, but I’m really not! I’m far more comfortable with writing… I find it a lot easier to plan a story, or just to start writing and let the words flow that way and see where it goes. It’s a good way for me to express myself and to work through feelings or to just switch off for a while and create words on a page.

Do you only create for Teen Wolf/Thiam?

I have written for Supernatural in the past and I’m planning to write a Raphael fic for Shadow Hunters at some point and maybe a John Murphy one because I’ve not found many for him that cater to my angsty tastes when there’s so much that can be explored... But at the moment yes it’s only for Teen Wolf. I’ve also posted one Sceo fic which I would like to continue as well!

Which genres do you prefer reading and creating for?

Angst, angst, angst… did I mention angst?? It just feels right to me to write angstier fics, the words and ideas just seem to flow really well, which is a surprise as I’m not really an angsty person in life. It’s just what I’ve always gravitated towards writing and I find a lot better to express myself in that way. I have a humour/angst WIP which I decided to attempt a while ago and I did quite enjoy writing something a little different from what I normally do and people seemed to enjoy it.

If your creative process was a person, what type would they be? What would they do? Wear? Listen to? How do they handle conflict?

Quite probably the most disorganised messiest person alive… No not really… just sorta… kinda… maybe… In all seriousness, they’d be half organised and half “ lets see where this road takes us”. They would probably wear all black all day every day, and be a half emo kid who listens to punk pop and emo music from their teens with a healthy mix of dance and sad songs. Handling conflict? We don’t do that here… we bottle up our feelings and hide them away until they come out in the wrong ways. No really… I think they’d express themselves pretty clearly with 1000 words instead of 100.

Official Thiam Library

How did you find the Official Thiam Library?

I found the Official Thiam Library through searching the Theo Raeken tags on Tumblr and seen the page name pop up a few times, I had a look at the page not long after and followed pretty quickly, I needed my Theo/Thiam fix and this page covered it very well!

First impressions?

“Woah, they’re on the ball!” and then when I saw a few of the events the page done I was really impressed at how often they posted recommendations and how they could organise it all.

How did you come to be involved on the mod team?

I filled in the form for Beta Readers and Helpers for the Thiam Big Bang, I’d have loved to have participated but I didn’t know if I’d have been able to commit to having such a large work completed on a deadline, so I thought I’d offer to help in another way, having helped to run the Supernatural SummerGen for a few years. Tiffany got back to me pretty quickly about it and I came on board at that point.

What do you feel that you bring to the team?

Uuuhhh… I hate these types of questions haha! I really feel like I mostly bring my organisational skills, along with the way that like to try and help out where I can in the background with writing/explaining things or getting back to people with asks/emails etc... With the Big Bang I brought my experience of things I’d learned from the Supernatural events I’d worked on too which I think/hope was of use?

How do you help out?

Mainly what I’ve answered above applies to this question too I think?

What would you like to see for the Official Thiam Library over the next year?

I’d really love to see the page continue… continue on as is, doing a few more fandom events, grow as a page and fandom... also to help keeping the fandom going which is important right now I think… we’ve managed it so far though! We were just speaking about how thrilled we are that the fandom is still going strong. I also think it’s important to give older and newer fandom creators the recognition & cheer that they deserve too, which can be done through reblogging/recommendations and different events too. 

 Cute BTS Questions

Let’s imagine you’ve landed in a Zombie apocalypse, Walking Dead/Zombieland style. You’re among seven survivors–yourself and six characters from Teen Wolf. Which five would be your first choice for survival, entertainment, etc? And who would be the sixth character, the one you’d willingly push in front of a rage-filled zombie mob given the first chance? 

I can’t help but feel that my choice for the last part will be unpopular but here goes:

Theo and Chris for survival… they seem like they’d both be good to have around in this sort of situation, Stiles for entertainment because he had his funny moments and would keep everyone going I think. Melissa because we all need a mother figure who knows when to be tough but can also provide you with the loving support you need. Scott because… well… he’s a the alpha and we’d need someone to lead our small group and take charge when needed. 

Who would I willingly throw to the zombie mob given the first chance? Allison and Kira are both a tie here. Can’t I throw them both?? I never really liked Allison as a character… I don’t even really know why I just never gelled with her as a character I would like or could even get behind. Kira… ugh… just ugh… I feel like she was quite a forced character, they tried too hard to make her this cooky/funny character who could also kick ass and it just came off wrong to me… I never really warmed to her as she just felt forced. 

If you could read only 5 fanfictions for an entire year, which would you choose? Thiam or another fandom, if not Thiam, which fandom? 

In no order at all because I never tire of reading any of them:

1 - Airplanes by Captainmintyfresh - Teen Wolf - Thiam fanfiction

2 - Despite The Threatening Sky And Shuddering Earth (They Remained) by praximeter (Zimario)  - Captain America - Steve/Bucky fanfiction

3 - The Call by DemonzDust - Teen Wolf - Sceo fanfiction

4 - The Crow On The Cradle by Refur - Supernatural fanfiction

5 - Gotta Have Faith by arxiver - Captain America - Steve/Bucky fanfiction

You are our sensei and us your pupils, can you impart any life/writing wisdom? 

Life wisdom: Don’t sweat the small stuff... seriously… it wastes so much time and energy that you could be using for other things. If you can’t control it or you don’t feel it’ll be bothering you this time next year, then don’t let it bog you down.    People will come and go, that’s a part of life, take the lessons that they taught you from their time in your life (whether positively or negatively) and use them wisely. 

Writing wisdom: Don’t force yourself. If you’re having an hour, a day, or a week where the words or ideas won’t come then don’t force it to happen, you’ll only feel worse. Step back, put on some music which suits the tone of whatever you’re writing and try to get in the mood of your story that way, it’s amazing the words that can come or the complete change in direction you can go from doing that. 

Finally, what’s next for you?

Hopefully getting back into the swing of things with the Official Thiam Library and writing more again, getting ready for the Reverse Big Bang, and planning a few things in my personal life, like a few trips, my wedding and a house move (yes… I’m becoming a boring adult and it’s a scary new world!)

[themagiciansreccenter]

Author Spotlight: greywash

Every week we are going to be interviewing a writer from The Magicians fandom. If you would like to be interviewed or you want to nominate a writer, get in touch via our ask box.

First things first, tell us a little about yourself.

Hi, I'm greywash! I usually go by Gins, I'm 37, I'm an engineer, and I live with my beta/writing and queerplatonic life partner HBBO (havingbeenbreathedout) in the cheap(er) seats outside San Francisco.

How long have you been writing for?

I apparently "wrote" and "illustrated" a story for my mom about a dragon who forgets his best friend's birthday when I was three, so. It's been a minute. I kill fewer crayons these days.

What inspired you to start writing for The Magicians?

Well... basically, I followed @longnationalnightmare in from another fandom, and a few people on my Tumblr dash were reblogging gifsets, so I originally watched the show basically just for more context. (The threeway. By "more context," I mean "the threeway.") Anyway, it took me about 0.3 episodes to be completely hooked: I had read the books a few years back and was ambivalent about a lot of things in them, so when I started watching the show I was expecting a lot less than I got? I'd expected a sort of silly B-show with lousy acting, and, I mean... it is frequently *very* silly, but then it turned out that the cast ranges from 'very good' to 'incredible', and the interpersonal dynamics are *fantastic*, and those are both pure fannish bait for me. The show's not perfect, but they fixed a lot of my problems with the books, a lot of which lived on a character development level... I think the show really has done some incredible work with Quentin, especially; and also with depictions of complex, liminally-sexual queer friendships, like the relationship between Margo and Eliot, which I feel like I've never encountered represented this well in any other visual media source, ever.

Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? What it is about them that makes them your favourite?

Ooh, that's hard. Eliot is just my hands-down full-stop favorite character, but there's always that tricky question of "who is your favorite character to write *in the point of view of*" versus "who is your favorite character to write *about*," especially when you have a relationship or relationships you're really invested in (for me, the asymmetrical Quentin/Eliot/Margo triad). When I want to write stories that are love letters to Eliot Waugh, which is often, then I want to write from Quentin or Margo's point of view, because when I write Eliot's point of view, I am inevitably writing love letters to one or the both of them.

Do you have a preference for a particular season/point in time to write about?

Well, since I came into the fandom during the post-S3 hiatus—I started watching the show in October—just by default that's where most of my work is grounded, so far.

Are you working on anything right now? Care to give us an idea about it?

Oh boy, I sure am! I have a lot of work to do on my 39 Graves fic, and then I still have, hm, probably another... twenty or thirty thousand words, ish? On "The Marriage Plot," which is the sequel (...sort of) to "Firebird" and also my sort of... emotional raison d'fanfic, for The Magicians. It's sort of a, uhh... well, let's call it an un-arranged-marriage fic, is the best way I can think of to put it.

How long is your “to do list”?

Oh gosh. It's atrocious, but it's also not all for /The Magicians/. There's "The Marriage Plot," but I also have a long-running /Sherlock/ WIP that got toootally hijacked by me suddenly desperately needing to write hundreds of thousands of words about Eliot and Quentin not getting married, and so I'm just getting back into that; and then I have 39 Graves. I also still owe my partner a /Sneaky Pete/ storylet and have two other outstanding prompts from the summer, one for /Lewis/ and the other for... I.... totally don't remember! /The Good Place/, I think? I saved it around here somewhere. On top of that, I'm doing fan_flashworks bingo over on Dreamwidth, and I don't want my entire bingo card to be "The Magicians," though so far that's been somewhat difficult to resist. And I love the weekly prompt idea that the Rec Center and the Neitherlands Library are running for S4! I had a blast writing for the "Identity" prompt and am looking forward to this week's as well. Well, at least I write fast.

What is your favourite fic that you’ve written for The Magicians? Why?

I think I have to say "Firebird," because I haven't finished "The Marriage Plot," and who knows how that'll go; but they're so inextricably linked in my mind it's hard for me to think of "Firebird" as like—its own separate thing? I guess I can say that "Firebird" was really uncomfortable in places to write, so I'm proud of myself for getting it done without flinching away from all the, like, body horror and murder and super dubious consent; and I think it does what I want it to do. We'll see how I feel when I finish "The Marriage Plot."

Many writers have a fic that they are passionate about that doesn’t get the reception from the fandom that they hoped for. Do you have a fic you would like more people to read and appreciate?

Well, I definitely haven't been here long enough or written enough stuff to have that feeling, but—let's say "The Get Down," which is just a little bonbon about Margo and Eliot being best friends and banging a psychic. I love themmmmm~ ~ ~

What is your writing process like? Do you have any traditions or superstitions that you like to stick to when you’re writing?

I'm not particularly superstitious about writing, but I am hugely invested in my writing routine—I'm a write-every-day person, and I do mean 'every day'; I'm on a 2,179 day streak on 750words.com—that's a little shy of six years. People are usually horrified when I admit this, but: I get up at 5:15 in the morning seven days a week so that I can put on headphones and write for at least an hour and often more like two before work, or whatever it is that I'm doing that day. (I also go to bed at like.... eight forty-five. I am a party animal.) I also very frequently write on my lunch breaks and have the excellent fortune to live with my writing partner, so we spend loads of time writing on the weekends and talking about fiction. This is literally the life of my dreams, but you have to be a very specific kind of obsessive weirdo to feel that way, I think.

Do you write while the seasons are airing or do you prefer to wait for hiatus? How does the ongoing development of the canon influence and inspire your writing process?

I am too much of an egg in this fandom to have an answer to this one yet, I think. :) I probably wouldn't start a longfic during the season, but shortfic, sure, why not?

What has been the most challenging fic for you to write?

"Firebird," because of all the aforementioned body horror and murder and super dubious consent. I am a delicate flower, who happens to be fascinated with narrative about people confronting their personal monstrousness. It's a tough row to hoe, man.

Are there any themes or tropes that you like particularly like to explore in your writing?

For /The Magicians/, the particular dead horse that I love to flog is Fillorian marriage, and the implications that forced fidelity have for consent; and also just for how intimacy *works*, within a marriage or a long-term relationship where that sense of choice, of choosing and being chosen, is so much of what lends richness to the relationship.

Are there any writers that inspire your work? Fanfiction or otherwise?

Nonfannishly: Georgette Heyer, Sarah Waters, Herman Melville, Miranda July. Fannishly.... whoo boy. In /The Magicians/, I'm still catching up on all the great stuff that people have written! @longnationalnightmare , @adjovi , @achray , @shmazarov, @numinousnumbat , and @ohmarqueliot are some of my favorites so far... in other fandoms: gosh, where to even start, I've been in fandom for 20+ years, we could be here a while. I guess since we're on the subject (sort of) of the monstrous, I reread @1001cranes ' "disguise fair nature with hard-favoured rage" the other day and was just as floored by it now as I was... gosh, was that really seven years ago? Well, it's evergreen, go read it again. @septembriseur for fiction about altered consciousness. @drawsaurus for the interplay between warmth and brittleness and humor and darkness. @helenish for her endings. @havingbeenbreathedout for the interplay between sex and story, and basically everything else as well.

What are you currently reading? Fanfiction or otherwise?

Right now, I have open on my laptop: (1) @astolat 's "And I Alone Have Escaped to Tell You [which I've read before], (2) @ohmarqueliot 's "Reaching in the Dark" [which I haven't started], and (3) what is, in context, the most ironic thing *ever*: a handbook on strategies for managing ADHD. What? Don't judge me.

What is the most valuable piece of writing advice you’ve ever been given?

Basically that learning to write is just figuring out how to ask yourself "What are you trying to do with this _______?" (comma, word, line, paragraph, chapter, story), and then figuring out how to answer. (Thanks, Dad!)

Are there any words or phrases you worry about over using in your work?

Oh, I mean—I'm pretty okay with even the totally predictable bits of my narrative voice, I don't stress about it too hard anymore, but yes, there are a bunch of words I *know* I overuse. Especially since I'm a little bit blind to repeated words if I'm reading and not listening to my work read aloud, which—I try to do at least one pass where I get my computer to read to me when I'm editing, but I need to have both time and focus to make that work, both of which, I find, are often in short supply. "Tells"—he tells her, she told him—is *the worst*; I'm always looking for it my brain just skips over completely, it's like it's not even a word for me anymore.

What was the first fanfic that you wrote? Do you still have access to it?

Oh dear. I'd been in fandom for several years before I started writing, but as I recall, the first thing I actually wrote was an exceptionally overwrought and tragic Snape POV Remus/Sirius story. I have no idea what happened to it and I'm almost certainly happiest that way.

Self-edit or Beta?

Both!

Comments or Kudos/Reblogs or Likes?

All are delicious.

Smut, Fluff or Angst?

Smut.

Quick & Dirty or Slow Burn?

Quick and dirty on the sex and slow burn on the feelings.

Favourite season?

Season Two

Favourite Episode?

Cheat Day

Favourite book?

The Magicians

Three favourite words?

lovely, devastating, yearning

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