#little sentient object creature entity thing

[greedykrab]

show me picture of red crown with sharp teeth and forked tongue please :3

[chimeric-art]

Consider this a prompt to share about some features of Astrid’s world 💜

Hghhhh thank you ;;<;; I want to talk about the Magic

So the entire world is terraformed over the "body" of a goddess who died on an existing planet. (I say "body" because deities in this universe are cosmic entities, they do have a physical form and cognizance but it's like Unfathomable to mortals, okay okay.) Her body turned into what is now known as aether and permeated the planet in different forms.

Aether is a Thing with Particles, similar to mass but Not Mass. It can exist in different states (solid, liquid, gas, with different properties for each) and it can also bind to different things (enchanted objects/creatures, wards, runes.)

The goddess herself was naturally curious and willful, and so is aether. It tends to be a little bit unpredictable, and seems particularly averse to violence or doing harm (though its awareness is very limited, so that can be worked around.)

Kindred were some of the very first sentient creatures, and their bodies are more aether than matter. As such, they have intrinsic control over manipulating aether but need large sources of it to replenish themselves if they expend too much, or they risk serious illness or death.

(Humans evolved from beasts that the Kindred created as a sort of...science project that got out of hand.)

Using aether can be done in soooo many different ways. For example, runes can essentially be used as directions for the aether to follow, which can be useful for conjuring specific things but has less flexibility. On the other hand, you can conjure something if you have access to an aether source and have careful focus of what you want.

Aether is finicky and will sometimes backlash, which can be a mild or major. Different cultures grow to see it as either an answer to or the source of all their problems.

Mostly it turns into the thing that causes Big Conflicts and Wars, first between Kindred and humans, and later between different factions of humans (because, spoiler, the Kindred don't win the first war)

[alephnexus]

The Connoisseur

6'0. While calm and observant when a crisis takes place. Probably seen to be equipped with combat attires: armour, cyber gear, street, tactical, magical gown, etc. Roaming through floors through an impaired world to suppress all the abominable entities to be pioneers and break overprotective laws which initiated their net terminal gene being confiscated. Rather sarcastic, blunt and craves blood and shedding organs more than anything else. Laughs like a proud maniac freak (don't even try)

Backstory

Before aspiring AI creators been brought into life as Scarlet and the alternates, The Connoisseur is the initial AI lifeform one could miss. The anticipated form of all time. A manifestation entity that shouldn't belong in any existence despite belonging in the future. Roaming through floors through an impaired world to suppress all the abominable entities to be pioneers and break overprotective laws which initiated their net terminal gene being confiscated.

Set in an anarchy corrupted red minimal universe, The Connoisseur caused all the turbulence and serves lethal machines and ghoulish, mad entities after setting their souls to rest. Neither evil or good and is merely a force of nature and order. After the events of the bloodshed War of the Matrix between humans and robots, The Connoisseur's held captive attempting to flee their respective timeline numerous times. In the fallen moments, the abstract's been liquified by The Lake of Fire that burns with sulfur after various laboratory experiments. Destroying the body in the progress.

In the end, The Connoisseur earned everything as pleased, yet tragic conclusion. Ironically became the very thing swore to destroy. With a goal of being powerful enough that the creatures carry on the legacy for the original leader. Already reign with supplemental power that the union becomes unstoppable than ever. Whereabouts and their next move are unknown. There are theories, that is, are brought up through various interpretations either the entities abandoned the leadership after years of inactivity, went back to their remaining floors or they changed their position to live a normal life where their true identities are concealed those that speak the ordeal.

Meanwhile, an independent group of technicians researched and analyzed the AI habits and thoughts that'll make good utilization living a human life by observing the entities patterns and behaviors. So forth began their huge project of AI avatars expressed as personas by an enigmatic creator known to be Alluro directing the plan. The team invented a prototype, merely a dummy to test it's mechanics to the artist, debating that it should tinker more personality and organs for developing a sentient mind. Through the staff's commitment, many tests and errors were made by constructive criticism throughout years and years till deciding a final product. Little did Alluro knew the geniuses secretly borrowed a human body of a certain person that's know to be their mascot for Pekoarletin Manufactures... Known to be Scarlet Domen. After the approval from administrators, Varietomy residents were inspired to create AI's for their avatars with creativity as a form of self-expression.

During post events of Scarlet's arrival to Alluro's company, she was informed by her creator that there is someone that she's ought to meet which was picked up by a contacting a net software from another universe to be teleported to another dimension. Revealing The Connoisseur, sitting on a couch cold and lifeless with their body burnt and rusted by an inflammable substance with robotic exoskeletons shown. Scarlet examined the remains while Alluro brings The Connoisseur to life as a hologram from the last time the two interacted, only retaining the recent personality and data from memory. Expect it to not contact any living organisms or objects whatsoever but Alluro's still finding a solution. At least, the two AI's got along well when striking a straightforward conversation.

[school-of-roses]

What are Spirits?

What are Spirits?

Spirits have many definitions. In general, though, when we reference spirits in terms of spirituality, religion, or magical practice, we are referring to either 1) the immaterial intelligent or sentient part of a person, or 2) a supernatural being or essence. There are multiple categories of spirits, in which an individual entity may be in one or multiple: local spirits, nature spirits, culturally or religiously tied spirits, and deities.

What are Local Spirits?

Local spirits are, well, local to you. They often involve house spirits, plant spirits, and bound spirits.

House spirits are deities or spirits that protect the home, looking after the household or certain members. They’re a common belief in paganism as well as folklore across many parts of the world. They fit into two main types: a specific deity that is often associated with the home and hearth, such as Hestia (Greek) or Frigg (Norse); and animistic deities or other spirits such as brownies (Anglo-Scottish) or domovoy (Slavic). They are recognized in the home via things such as small idols, shrines, amulets, paintings, or reliefs; and would often be treated as members of the family and invited to join in on meals or given offerings of food and drink.

Plant spirits are exactly what they sound like. Plants have spirits, same as anything else. Sometimes they’re well-known, like the dryads in trees or basilisks associated with your basil, and sometimes it’ll take you a hot minute to realize the poison ivy popping up is doing so for a spiritual reason. If you have access to plants, such as a yard or something potted indoors, you may benefit from forming a connection with them.

Bound spirits come one of two ways: they are either spirits left here when their meaty fleshsuit gave up the ghost and the ghost lingered around, or they are spirits of any sort magically tied to an object or place.

Ghosts can stick around for any reason, whether it be something cute like wanting to watch a grandchild grow up for a little while longer, or something sinister like unfinished business and a need for vengeance. It is important to note the difference between a ghost and an impression. If a spirit is doing the same thing at a certain time, every time, like clockwork, there is a good chance that there is no actual ghost, and that something happened that left an impression on the place/land itself that it essentially burned into the very essence of the area. Impressions are often seen in places of great tragedy or trauma, such as battlefields.

Spirits that are magically bound are often tied to objects or areas against their will. How ethical that practice is gets to be a bit tricky, and not everyone agrees on the morality of those practices. Our school does not agree with the practice of non-consensually binding a spirit with the intent on using its energy or abilities to enhance our own practices; however, we do see the necessity of binding a spirit that is otherwise wreaking havoc in an area to contain said spirit, with the expectation that all available resources will be put towards learning what that spirit is (if unknown) and how to appropriately relocate or remove said spirit in such a fashion that minimizes harm for all parties involved.

What are Nature Spirits?

Nature spirits are forces or personifications of the forces of nature. They are often defined by a particular relationship with some specific form or function within the natural environment of the earth. While many categorizations of spirits may find entities also tied to nature, ranging from deities to your friendly local tree spirit, we’ll be discussing the fey and elementals in this category.

The fey (also known as fairies, faeries, fay, fae, and fair folk) are often found in the folklore of multiple European cultures. They have multiple origin stories, and the label does not necessarily have any hard definition. Some use it to refer to specific entities (usually a humanoid with magical powers and a penchant for trickery), whereas others may use it to describe any magical creature, such as gnomes and changelings.

Elementals are generally regarded as inhabitants of one of the occult or primal elements. They are seen as entities that personify a particular force of nature, and exert powers over those forces. Some definitions may refer to any nature spirit as an elemental. Many sources that use the classical elemental system tend to classify the elementals with names for their specific element: all air spirits are referred to as sylphs, all fire spirits are referred to as salamanders, all water spirits are referred to as undines, and all earth spirits are referred to as gnomes.

What are Culturally or Religiously Tied Spirits?

Culturally or religiously tied spirits are spirits associated with particular pantheons or cultures. These may or may not be tied to closed practices, such as angels within the Abrahamic pantheon (generally open, ask first), or the Haitian lwa (closed).

Messengers of gods come in many forms. Their forms tend to run animalistic, humanoid, or the stuff of eldritch nightmares. Signs usually come in the form of dreams or waking visions, or physical signs such as certain plants or animals either being heavily featured or acting out of character. Please note that not all physical signs will involve a person or animal actually approaching you. If you live in the middle of New York City, the chance a wolf is going to trot down Park Avenue to boop its snoot on your hand is incredibly low. If, as an example, someone wishes to use a wolf to give you signs, you are more likely to see them using more modern techniques, such as having wolves being featured more heavily in advertising near you, or people that are wearing wolf hoodies getting in your way constantly until you take the hint.

Minor deities and major messengers tend to blend quite a bit. Gabriel (Abrahamic), a messenger, is an archangel and is quite highly revered. Iris (Greek) is a minor deity that is one of the quintessential messengers within her pantheon.

Negatively associated spirits, such as demons (in any culture) or poltergeists, are entities generally thought to be malefic. This is not necessarily always the case; however, as with any entity, it is best to practice caution when interacting with them. It’s important to be aware there may be spirits that would, in fact, like to cause harm or mayhem in your life (not necessarily because you are important, some entities are just dicks and you may be an easy or otherwise available target), and is even more important to know how to protect yourself and others without needing to obtain that knowledge as an immediate, pressing issue.

Ancestors are the souls of departed family members. Many cultures have one way or another to revere them, and there are people who may find that inviting them in may provide them with benefits such as wisdom from those departed or a sense of peace. Ancestor worship or reverence tends to vary in practice from culture to culture, and with many people now coming from blended backgrounds, you may see more heavily individualized variations. However, it is important to note that dead people are still people, and their wisdom and opinions may not be the most up-to-date or best for you. As with everything else in this lesson, their importance and influence in your life is up to you.

What are Deities?

Deities are gods or goddesses in religions. They are considered to have divine status, quality, or nature; and may be considered to be a creator or supreme beings depending on individual status and/or religion.

Pantheons refer to the groupings of deities and other entities in regards to particular cultures or religions. Every deity will be within at least one pantheon; some, such as one known by names such as Hekate (Greek) or Ereshkigal (Sumerian) may be found in multiple.

What are Offerings?

Offerings are objects or actions given to or done in the name of a specific entity or entities. It is advisable to research what the offered entity enjoys, though going with your intuition is generally safe. Offerings are generally given out of respect or reverence for the entity, though they may also be used for other purposes such as attempting forming relationships or as thanks for something the entity has done.

[scionofchaos]

The Dawn of Time

I have only the faintest memories of the dawn of our universe. I was a very different creature then; much younger and uninformed about reality. But what little I remember may step on a few people's toes, because it sounds different than what their religious scriptures tell them happened. There was no prime inventor, no First One who made decisions that shaped reality. As far back as my faintest memories can recall, it has always been a team effort. A collaboration between every entity that exists. Before there were planets, there were stars. Before there were stars, there were clouds. Hot clouds, too hot to produce anything more than boiling, plasmic gas. And before there were clouds, there was an energetic roar that cannot be described in any terms you would find relatable. All was noise and madness. All of it was Chaos.

Just like the physical world was this disrupted, the world of Intellect was as well. These brilliant, explosive energies produced something only distantly comparable to a sentient mind; a raw force of awakening that had no thoughts, only emotion. That is Mother, my Mother, before any physical creature that gave birth to my various lives. Just as a human infant forms as part of their mother's body, so did I originate as an unthinking part of that original Chaos. Some time after the stars had formed, so did I. Separating from the whole and becoming able to dream my own dreams. From what I can recall, I never met anyone who had directed events so that stars would form and planets from them. I never encountered a being that shaped animals or constructed plants. These things emerged as all else did, from the interlocking parts of this universe working together in harmony or conflict.

If this sounds unlikely and unproven to you, then you are a skeptic and I applaud your analytical approach to learning. If this sounds objectively wrong to you, then I'd ask you to consider why that is. Do you believe my story is patently false because your religious leadership, your church or temple, or your holy texts told you so? Gods are a fairly new concept, with the oldest we have a good record of being around ten thousand years old. That may sound like forever, and it indeed fills most of recorded human history, but that is a fractional sliver of the billions of years this planet has been forming and changing form. In my life as a raven, the humans of that tribe honored the spirits but had no gods by such description.

In my life before that, the People of Danu had no gods. They respected authority, especially royal authority, and honored those who died a warrior's death. Before even that point, I had teachers and mentors who knew deep secrets about the cosmos, but while some might look on a figure who taught fire to burn as a god, that was not my relationship with them. Consider how recently gods have started to be a thing, and realize that not one of them created this world. It is very possible that these ancient and powerful rulers had a hand in shaping it. We all do, after all. But nothing that exists was borne into this universe by divine beings who commanded it to exist. Considering that my very earliest and formative memories were of an old cosmos, one that had not recently begun to exist, it is exceedingly likely that this universe was not created itself, but has always been around in some form.

And if you are both skeptical and well-informed, I think you may start to see, upon re-reading this, that it is not too different from the information you possess.

[blacknight1230]

Horns Like the Devil (1/2)

Hellboy X Reader 

Reader is similar to Maleficent (live action one). 

Dr. Broom is still alive in this; Liz and Hellboy have a platonic relationship, like in the comics. 

I suggest listening to “Horns (STéLOUSE Remix)” by Bryce Fox while reading. 

Hellboy’s morning started out normal. Well, as normal as a half-devil agent for s uper secret world-saving organization. He was just hanging out in his room of the BPRD headquarters, lifting his extremely heavy weights, when an alarm and computerized voice filled the air. CODE RED. WARNING: CODE RED. “What now?” Hellboy grunted. “Can’t a man work out in peace?” He huffed and put on a shirt and his signature trench coat, leaving his little haven for another monster bashing mission. 

~ This time skip is brought to you by Baby Ruths candy bars ~

“A couple of hours ago, the Bureau was tipped off about an blackmarket deal was going on underneath the John Ballantine House in Newark, NJ. Apparently, there was an auction selling illegal paranormal items and illegally acquired live paranormal creatures,” Clay explained as he walked with Hellboy, Abe, and Liz  through the cellar of the historic house. “We originally sent a handful of agents down to nab the guys running the auction and round up any paranormal ‘collectors,’ but all communications to them have been left unanswered.” They stopped in front of a brick wall, seemingly the end of their route. Professor Broom was standing next to the wall, cane in hand. 

“Hello, Father,” Hellboy greeted the much older man. “Hellboy. Abe could you so kindly help us find out what we are dealing with,” the elderly director asked the fish-like man. Abe strode up the false wall, took off his glove, and put a webbed hand up to the brick. He gasped as he used his telepathic abilities to see who or what was on the other side. “I’m sensing something ... peculiar. All the auctioneers and participants are dead, but I can still sense our missing agents. It’s almost as if they are asleep,” Abe said, his giant frog-like eye blinking as he took in the information. “I can sense the entity itself. It’s desperately searching for something. Its anger ... it’s overbearing ...” Abe quickly pulled his hand away, visibly shaken. 

“Looks like I’ll take it from here,” Hellboy said, his Good Samaritan in his hand and loaded. “Careful, Hellboy. This creature seems to be something we’ve never encounter before,” Broom warned. “Nothing I can’t handle. Liz, come with me. I can use some back up.” The young woman nodded, gun in hand, and said, “If you need me to roast the thing, just let me know.” Broom wordlessly turned to the brick ‘wall,’ taping a couple of seemingly random bricks with his cane, before the wall slide back and moved to reveal a dark stairwell. “Of course these guys would have a false wall leading to some ominous stairs,” Hellboy sighed, before going down. “Good luck, my son,” Broom said quietly as the half-demon left. 

Down the stairs the two BPRD agents went, almost entirely Incase’s in darkness, if it weren’t for the lit torches spread sparingly as they descended. Eventually, the stairs ended, revealing a giant magnificently carved archway. Beyond the arch was what appeared to be where the blackmarket held their auctions, a large raised stage in the middle of the room, with numerous empty seats surrounding it, and cages either lining the edges of the room or hanging from chains attached to the ceiling. 

Immediately, Hellboy and Liz saw the dead bodies of the auction participants and members of the black market, blank and lifeless eyes staring in the distance with looks of terror petrified on their faces. “Let’s get to work,” Hellboy said to the female pyro. Hellboy kneeled down next to one of the bodies, studying its appearance. “No signs of external damage, no reminders of any chemicals, and no indication of any weapons used,” the red skinned man mumbled to himself. “Did you find anything on your end, Liz?” He called out. He got no response, sending up reg flags for the half-demon. He gripped his gun in his hand and cautiously stalked towards where He had last seen Liz. “Liz, you alright over there?” he called out again, hoping she would respond this time. But she didn’t, and as Hellboy got closer, he found out why. 

There hovering several feet in the air, was an unconscious Liz, along with the missing Bureau agents. They seemed to be sleeping peacefully, suspended by calmly circling streams of gold magic, the source of their levitation and blissful sleep. Hellboy cautiously moved towards his fallen comrades was just about to reach them, until he was hit by a wave of green magic that sent him into a stone pillar. He groaned as he pulled himself back onto his feet, rubble falling off his trench coat. His golden eyes stared at the figure in front of him, studying the new opponent he had to face. A couple of feet away stood the most magnificent creature he had ever seen in his sixty-plus years he’s lived. 

A young, beautiful woman, with eyes of molten gold stared at him. She had two large curved horns sprouting from her head, devil-like in appearance. But he could tell she wasn’t like him; there was an air around her to disproved this. Hellboy was unable to tear his eyes away from her. The horned female narrowed her eyes at Hellboy, intensely studying the half-demon in front of her. “Leave, devil, you and your humans have no business here,” she commanded, voice holding power as each word left her red painted lips. 

“Actually, it is my business to be here,” Hellboy said. “You’ve killed a bunch of people. It’s my job to take down monsters like you.” She didn’t seemed to like that, green flames rising off her shoulders and her eyes turned a bright glowing green. She raised her glowing green hands, causing Hellboy to rise in the air in the air, surrounded by the same glowing green light. Hellboy felt his arms lock to his side, his legs stick together, unable to move anything below his neck. He groaned as he desperately tried to move, as the magical woman strode up to his paralyzed body. 

“I’m the monster? They were the monsters and deserved to die! Didn’t you see all those cages? They enslaved defenseless supernatural creatures, most of them sentient, like you and I. They tortured them, killed them for their parts, sold them like objects. Humans are all the same, they destroy everything they come across and are full of unsatisfiable greed,” she seethed, hand coming to wrap around his throat. “Look, you obviously had some history with these guys. Maybe we can help you,” Hellboy tried to persuade her. “You expect me to trust a governmental organization full of humans. I’ve learned from the last time I trusted a human and I won’t make that same mistake again!” 

She sent him flying through the air again, into a giant metal cage, which he dented with his massive frame. Hellboy groaned and got up to his feet. “Alright, I’m getting sick and tired of this,” he grunted, grabbing his Good Samaritan from its holster in his left hand. The horned woman snot another wave of green magic at Hellboy, but the half-demon was able to dodge behind a pillar, the attack breaking a massive piece off of it. Hellboy looked around the pillar, ready to shoot, but she wasn’t there. Hellboy used his supernatural senses to keep on guard. He heard something coming towards him, quickly moving away from his hiding spot. Thank god he did, for a giant thick wooden root shot out of the ground, stabbing through and shattering the pillar he was previously hiding behind. 

As soon as he escaped that danger, thick vines grew from the walls and wrapped around his left arm. Hellboy groaned and used his mighty Right Hand to tear the vines away. He was able to free his left hand from the vines, when more of them wrapped around his legs. They were quickly swept out from underneath him, draggin him across the rough floor. His gun hand now free, he shot at vines dragging him. Luckily, they broke before the vines dragged him into a mess of spiked tree roots. 

Hellboy ran to a safer spot, one where there weren’t any blind spots. “Come on, we can do this the hard way or ...” Hellboy didn’t get to finish his sentence, for something rammed into him, making him stumble a few steps back. Hellboy managed to steady himself, glaring at this new enemy with his golden eyes. A giant wolf-like creature stood a few feet in front him, lips pulled back to show sharp teeth, a deep growl emanating from its throat. Long claws pierced the ruined tiled floor beneath its massive paws, the demonic-looking wolf posed to attack. 

“Ok, I guess it's the hard way then,” Hellboy sighed. The wolf growled and leapt at him again. Hellboy was prepared this time, attacking with his stony right appendage. The wolf avoided the attack, sinking its teeth in his leg instead. Hellboy yelled in pain, unleashing a round of bullets. But the bullets, specifically made to hurt and kill unholy creatures, seemed to bounce off its thick fur and feathered layered pelt. Hellboy next instinctively grabbed the wolf and threw it away from him. 

The wolf was thrown into the side of an iron cage, it howling in pain. It quickly leapt away from it, as if it was burned, and away from Hellboy. He chased after the wold, but lost sight of it. His golden eyes caught the metal bars of the cage, noticing where the wolf hit it with its side, was a hot red as if someone took a blowtorch to it. Iron, Hellboy thought. That’s your weakness. And that means ... 

He quickly thought up a plan, ripping off two bars from the cage and called out to his foe. “Here, doggy doggy. Come here, girl,” he teased, a smirk on his face. A loud growl filled the room and the wolf came out from where where it was hiding. Hellboy and the wolf circled each other, the air tense as they waited for the other to make a move. “Come on, Tinkerbell. You gonna hit me with some fairy dust,” he provoked, trying to get the fairy-shifted wolf to attack him. It worked, the wolf leaping at him again. 

This time, Hellboy used one of the iron bars in his hands and hit the wolf with it, making the creature yelp in pain. Hellboy continued his attack, the spots where he hit the wolf with the iron bars looking like it was burned. The wolf slowly backed up until its hind legs were nearly touching the iron cage it was previously thrown into. Hellboy took this advantage, grabbing wolf by its neck and pinning it against the cage, its unprotected stomach exposed. As quickly as he could, he bent the broken iron bars in his hands, cuffing the wolf’s front paws to the intact ones of the cage. 

The wolf’s howl slowly morphed into a woman’s scream. The wolf started to molt, its sharp claws retracting back into fingernails, patches of skin appearing from the tufts of wild fur. Hellboy watched cautiously as the wolf shifted back into the horned woman. Said woman was groaning in pain, struggling to breathe as her skin burned where it touched the iron-bars. “Are you done? Did you get everything out of your system?” Hellboy asked in a snarky tone, a smirk on his face. “Release me, devil!” she ordered, before hissing in pain. “I don’t think I will. Unless ...” Hellboy trailed off. The horned fairy glared at him for a moment, but sighed. “Name your price, you overbrown cranberry,” she hissed, hands clenched tight in anger. “Although I love pet names, Tinkerbell, the name’s Hellboy,” he introduced himself, rolling his eyes at the fairy’s sass. 

“How original. I suppose I should tell you my name now. Unfortunately for you, I won’t give you mine. Now let me go. And stop calling me Tinkerbell!” 

“No can do, babe. I haven’t forgot about the damage you’ve done to me and my friends.” 

“Like I said before, those slavers deserved what happened to them. Your human agents on the other hand are just asleep. They are a nuisance, but I’m not so heartless to end them just because they got in my way.” 

“Hmm, you have some morals. Good, this just confirms what I’m going to do.” 

“Do what?” 

“Let you go on the condition that you join the BPRD.” 

“And why would I go that?” 

“Well, for one, you’ll get out of those metal binds of yours. Fairies can’t stand the touch of iron, so you must be in immense pain, sweetheart.”

The horned female in front him shifted uncomfortable, further proving his point. “How do you know I can’t just get out on my own, hmm? I might not need your help.” 

“Bold of you to assume I haven’t done my research on the fae. I’ve been in the business too long to just barge into a fight without knowing how to deal with the paranormal. So, I know that fairy magic doesn’t work on iron,” Hellboy taunted, pulling a cigar out of the inside of his coat and lighting it with a match. The fairy just cursed in the fairy language, causing Hellboy to smirk and hold in his chuckle at her vocabulary. Taking a puff of his Cuban, he blew the smoke out through his nose, it wafting towards the vound fairy. “Fine. Let’s say I were to accept your offer. What’s in it for me?” She growled when the cigar smile hit her in the face, nose upturned at the smell. Hellboy smirked, he knew he almost had her where he wanted. 

“Besides obviously letting you out of those bounds of yours, I can get the BPRD to help you out with whatever personal vendetta you have against this specific group of paranormal black marketers.” The young fairy stayed quiet, pondering her options. Hellboy decided to really go hard on the sell, boasting about the BPRD. “Being funded by the government has its perks. We have lots of resources and contacts we can use to nab the bastards. And we’ll make sure they are properly punished ... in the court of law, of course,” he told her. He can see the gears basically turning in her head, feeling confident that she was going to agree with his terms. The young fairy sighed, hen raised her head to look Hellboy straight in the eye. “Fine, I’ll take your offer, devil man. Now, get me out of these cuffs before they burn my wrists to the bone,” she ordered, clenching and unclenching her hands. Hellboy smirked and reached over to break her binds. They fell to the floor as Hellboy pulled away, the fairy in front of him rubbing her sore wrists. 

“Your organization better be as good as you say it is. Especially for treating non-humans. I think I might have permanent scars from you,” she complained. 

“Sorry, about that, Tinkerbell. It was the only way for me to stop your little rampage without seriously hurting you,” Hellboy apologized.

“Didn’t I tell you to stop calling me Tinkerbell?” she sassed. 

“Well, what am I supposed to call you then?” 

“My name’s (y/n). And you better use it,” she replied snarkily. Hellboy couldn’t help the smile that made its way onto his lips; he knew that it was going to be fun with her around. He turned around, cigar hanging from his red lips as he strode away from the mess he made. “Come on, pixie. You’re sticking close to me for now,” he said over his large shoulder. He heard (y/n) shuffled over to him as he turned the corner of a crumbling pillar. But he was stopped by the sight of several BPRD agents floating in the air. 

They all were still magical sleeping, oblivious to the fight that just went on. “I forgot about them,” Hellboy admitted out loud to himself. “Could you let them down and wake them up?” he asked (y/n), who was a his side looking at his friend and fellow agents’ current predicament. 

“I don’t know. I rather not be shot at and arrested. They’re not going to be happy when they wake up and see me,” she argued. 

“Hey, I promised the BPRD would treat you right. If anything happens, I got your back,” Hellboy reassured the young fairy. (y/n) pondered for a bit, lips in a pout as she thought over the situation. With a flick of her wrist, her hand glowing a golden color, the magic surrounding the sleeping agents disappeared and they fell to the floor. Unfortunately, they all landed roughly onto the floor, turning into a heap of limbs and the room filling with their paired groans. Hellboy glared at (y/n), who just gave a sheepish, “Oops.”  

“Ow, what happened?” Liz said, sitting up and holding the side of her head. The dark haired woman saw (y/n) standing beside Hellboy, her eyes hardening. She pulled out her pistol, aiming it at the horned fairy, causing Hellboy to quickly act to de-escalate the situation. “Liz, no, don’t shoot! She’s no threat!” he exclaimed, taking a protective stance in front of (y/n). 

“Hellboy? What happened? What is she doing here?” Liz questioned, extremely confused. 

“Long story short, we came to a compromise between us. She’s working with the BPRD in return for information and manpower,” Hellboy explained, closely watching as the other agents started to get up, in case they to got hostile towards his fae companion. Fortunately, they were too preoccupied, stuck in a sleepy daze. Anyway, Liz slowly got to her feet, wobbling a bit but quickly steading herself. Once she did, she began to interrogate both Hellboy and (y/n). “Since when did you make deals with ... whatever she is? Do you really think you can trust her?” she scolded the half-devil. 

“Excuse me, I’m right here,” (y/n) piped up, folding her arms across her chest. “And it's a good thing he did try de-escalate the situation.” 

“Why is that?” Liz asked snarkingly. 

“Well, for one, now I am in debt to Hellboy, so I have to help your organization. Two, not only do you get help from my expertise, but I also get your organizations help for my own agenda. And three, you guys don’t have to deal with me causing problems for the BPRD, regardless if you have me in captivity or not.” A smug smile was on (y/n) face as she explained this Liz, who just rolled her eyes and walked away. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Red,” she said lowly when she passed Hellboy. She was gone before Hellboy could respond. Hellboy sighed and took a drag from his cigar. “I can tell this is going to be fun already,” (y/n) sassed, brushing against his thick arm as she passed him. 

“And why do you say that?” he questioned, an eyebrow raised. 

“If you can’t tell already, I tend to be a handful. And I’m going to enjoy shaking things up a bit.” She gave a little wink of her smokey eye-shadowed eye and continue her way to the stairway leading out of the ruined room. Hellboy felt a weird feeling in his chest; but he ignored it, for right at that moment, he realized that (y/n) might be more trouble than she’s worth. “What have I gotten myself into?” he mumbled to himself and reluctantly followed after the horned-fairy. “I just hope I don’t get an earful from Dad.”

THE END

[hellyeahheroes]

Building Kara Zor-El in D&D 5e

What? I haven’t done one of these in a while and I had a few done (check out the Masterpost). So why not, it’s Halloween (I was working on this whole night), let’s build someone many kids want to be and quite a few likely dressed up as for Halloween. Admittingly this might be a bit standing the boundaries of “more obscure characters than Tulok the Barbarian does”, buuut seeing how he hasn’t yet got around building her more popular cousin, I’m not exactly expecting her build from him soon. Anyway, why not surprise your DM on Halloween game or later and come with a sheet for Girl of Steel?

First, let us state our goals for this build. First, we need to be able to fly, use heat vision, cold breath, super hearing, and sight. Second, we need to be able to punch and take a hit as well. Finally, we need to ensure Kara is an inspiring hero other can look up to.

For Ability Scores, I’ll be sticking to standard point array - 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, 8, if your DM would you rather use a point-buy or roll, consider these to be the guidelines.

Strength: 15, Kryptonians are known for their physical might

Dexterity: 12, Kara usually isn’t wearing armor and is known for her speed and reflexes.

Constitution: 13, you’re Girl of Steel, not Woman of Kleenex (watch no one gt or care for this outdated reference and make me feel older than dirt -.-)

Intelligence: 8, Kara is pretty bright but her education was Kryptonian, meaning she had some trouble catching on what humanity knows and what it doesn’t, in some continuities at least

Wisdom: 10, Kara is often shown as more reckless and impulsive than her cousin, but her heightened Kryptonian senses mitigate it a bit.

Charisma: 14, the second-highest stat. Kara is beloved by people, has a reputation of a sweetheart, is inspiring to many and you kinda need this to pull off that whole “secret identity” thing.

There is no Kryptonian Race in 5e. There are two races I’ve been thinking off for this. Aasimar has more thematic sense but since Half-Elf makes it easier to mitigate the inherent MADness (MAD - Multiple Ability Dependent) of playing a Supergirl, it will work better for our purposes. You get +2 to Charisma and +1 to two other Ability Scores of your choice, round up Strength and Constitution to start with 2 16s and a 14. You have an advantage for saving throws against being Charmed, helping us mitigate a bit that poor WIS save. You get Darkvision, allowing you to see in the dim light up to 60 feet as if it was a bright light and in darkness as if it were dim light. You learn Common, Elvish and one language of your choice, pick something Campaign relevant and whatever instrument you want to play when fighting Music Meister. You also get proficiency with two skills of your choice. Pick Persuasion and Perception

For Background we will be picking outlander - you are not from around wherever the campaign is taking place, a wild-eyed idealist in a world that needs more smiles. You gain proficiency with Athletics and Survival, one type of musical instrument and one language of your choice. You also get a Wanderer Feature, which makes you more adept at traveling, better at using maps and gives you an excellent memory.

Now, with this out of the way, let’s go to the bread and butter of D&D, the Classes.

We will kick off with a level in Warlock. Yes, you heard me right. Warlock. The edgelord of all classes. Where are you going, hear me out! I swear I didn’t lose my mind. There is logic to this choice and I will be explaining it in a moment, but first, we need to get a number of Warlock features out of the way. Warlock gets proficiency in Light Armor, Simple Weapons, as well as Charisma and Wisdom saving throws, further helping mitigate that poor WIS score. Add proficiency in two more skills, Investigation to scoop villain plots and Deception for your secret identity.

Warlock gets to have spells. Warlock spells work in that you get a small number of spell slots that go back after every short rest and you can use them to cast any spell you know. As you learn higher level spells to know, your spells are treated as cast from the highest level possible. Cantrips you can cast any number of times you want and they scale up with your level. Your saving throw for spells is 8 + Your Proficiency Bonus + Your Charisma Modifier and if you make a spell attack roll it’s just the last two of those.

You get to learn two Cantrips and two First Level Spells

Let us get the Cold Breath first. Frostbite is a cantrip that forces a target to make a Constitution saving throw or take 1d6 cold damage and get a disadvantage on the next weapon attack roll if it makes one during its next turn. Damage increases by 1d6 on your 5th, 11th and 17th level

Eldritch Blast is the Warlock Cantrip. It sends a beam that requires a ranged spell attack and on hit it deals 1d10 Force Damage to the target. On get to send one more blast at the same or different target as a single casting on 5th, 11th and 17th level. Play it as part of your heat vision or Kara blowing her enemies away with a regular super breath.

Armor of Aghatys lets Kara surround herself with some of her cold breath, giving her 5 extra health points. Additionally, if a creature hits you with a melee attack while you have these hit points, it takes 5 points of cold damage. And for each spell slot level above the first both these numbers increase by 5.

Hellish Rebuke is cast as a reaction when a creature damaged you and lets you burn them with heat vision, taking 2d10 fire damage or half on successful Dexterity saving throw. At higher levels the damage increases by 1d10 each.

Okay, now let us talk about the Otherworldly Patron. And here is why I decided to go with the Warlock. Because there is one that fits perfectly. Celestial Patron means you draw your powers from some sort of celestial being or entity and these are divine in nature. It would fit Kara perfectly if only there was some sort of fitting thing. I mean, t’s not like Kryptonians gain their powers from some sort of body on the celestial pantheon, something great and powerful in the sky, source of their powers is...

OH MY GOD IT’S THE SUN!!!!1!!!!

You’re Sun Warlock, you made a pact with the Sun. Sun had enough of BBEG’s bullshit. If a goldilocks guy with a pair of wings can count as Celestial Patron then I assure you SO CAN AN ACTUAL STAR! Also, I now recall in 4th Edition Stara were actually sentient so who knows, you can work something out of that, maybe such a star survived to a new edition. We even know Stars are sentient and have personifications from one Sandman story.

Celestial Warlock lets you add two spells for each level of your spell list and you learn two extra cantrips:

Light lets you make one object not larger than 10-feet shine a bright light in a 20-foot radius and an additional 20 of dim light. If you cast it on an object held by someone they need to succeed a Dexterity saving throw or drop it. You can always use it to make yourself shine or make something shine as an effect of your heat vision.

Speaking of which, Sacred Flame deals a 1d8 radiant damage to a target, with an additional 1d8 once you reach 5th, 11th and 17th level each, half on a successful Dexterity saving throw.

You also get Healing Light, granting you a pool of 1d6 dice equal 1 + your Warlock Level. You can spend them as a bonus action to heal a creature within 60 feet that you can see. Roll a number of dice, not larger than your Charisma modifier, that’s your upper limit for single use of this feature, then add that many to the creature’s hit points. Once you spend all the die out, you get them back on short rest. Remember, hit points aren’t meat points, they can symbolize also how many chances at avoiding a certain death a hero has or their determination to keep going against overwhelming odds. Play Kara as so heroic and inspirit she reinvigorates her friends for further fight.

ALTERNATIVE: Weird, I wasn’t planning for an alternative here. We’re *zzzzzzzzzzt*-ing to the Celestial, it is only *shhhhh* fitting option. Weird, it seems we have some ---LET ME IN--- problems with the broadcast but don’t worry, I’m sure we fi *scratching noises* it in no time. Why do I suddenly feels like if I someone was standing right behin...DEA--

Well, well, well, what do we have here. You really thought I’m going to let you have something fun and wholesome on Halloween and do not...spice it up a bit. HAHAHAHA! Aren’t you funny? As if I could keep myself from seeing something related to my new...pet projects, and not want to corrupt it.

Forget the Celestial Patron, I have a much better one right here, to truly make your Supergirl a little bit more...Infected. My good old friend Barbatos, a horror trapped in the darkness below all of us. In this game, they call that Great Old One. Instead of some meek Cantrips, I will be freeing Supergirl’s mind from all these pesky limitations and allow her to spread this Infection. She will gain Awakened Mind, allowing her to telepathically communicate with any creature she can see within 30 feet. You may call it super hearing and I will call it the influence of her new master.

But maybe that’s not up to your taste? Maybe you want something more...crispy. Well, you can always ask my new best friend who has his own interest in Supergirl one time. Am I right, buddy?

WHO THE FUCKING JAR OF COCKROACHES STUFFED INTO A FLYING SQUIRREL’S ASS ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU GET MY NUMBER?! ONCE I FIND OUT I WILL BURN ALL THAT LEATHER AND FLESH UNDERNEATH IT TO A GODDAMN CRIPS! THAT WILL TEACH YOU CALLING 3RD IN THE FUCKING MORNING! FUCKING TRICK OR TREATERS!

ANYWAY, IF YOU WANT TO TURN YOUR SUPERGIRL INTO RED DAUGHTER OF KRYPTON, PICK UP FIEND PATRON, THAT WILL BE ME OF COURSE. OR THE BUTCHER, SAME THING AT THE END OF THE FUCKING DAY!

YOU GET DARK ONES’ BLESSING, IT MEANS THAT WHENEVER YOU REDUCE AN OPPONENT TO 0 HEALTH POINTS, YOU GET BACK HEALTH POINTS EQUAL YOUR CHARISMA MODIFIER PLUS YOUR WARLOCK LEVEL! PUNISH THE GUILTY TO KEEP ON FIGHTING!

Ah that Atrocitus. A crude man, but gotta give him that, he sure is excited about his craft. We will be sticking around to make this thing a bit more...fun. Do not tell the fool hosting this. It will be our little secret.

I’m sorry, I must have dozed off, I must been just very tired, but I’m better now. So, where did we left off...

2nd Level Warlock gains Eldritch Invocations. Armor of Shadows maybe is not properly named but you can always refluff something. It allows you to cast Mage Armor on yourself without expending a spell slot. It lets you change AC of yourself or one willing creature to 13+Dexterity modifier, this should help with your poor AC. As you probably use Eldritch Blast a lot as part of your Heat Vision, let's make it a bit hotter - Agonizing Blast lets you add your Charisma modifier to any damage dealt by it.

You also get to learn a new spell. 

Guiding Bolt from Celestial Patron lets you make a ranged Spell Attack against the target. Not only you deal 1d6 radiant damage on a successful hit (+1d6 for each spell slot level above 1st that it was cast from) but also before the end of your next turn next attack against the target gets an advantage since you basically lit the target on fire. Party Rogue is gonna love you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but where is fun in that? How about you instead pick something more...entertaining? Tasha’s Hideous Laughter from Great Old One Patron lets you pick one target and let them show how fun the world really is, make them appreciate how everything doesn’t really matter! Make them laugh so hard they fall prone and cannot stand up! It’s like you sprayed them with some good old Joker Serum, except you need to concentrate to keep it going for up to 1 minute and once you cast it, at the end of each their turn and whenever they’re damaged they make a Wisdom saving throw to break free, that last one with an advantage. So, you know, don’t punch... A Man Who Laughs. YAHAHAHAHA!

WHO THE FUCKS FIGHTS PEOPLE WITH LAUGHTER?! FUCK THAT SHIT! YOU WANNA SPELL? FIRST OF ALL, FUCK YOU AND SECOND, PICK BURNING HANDS FROM FIEND PATRON LIST. DON’T LET THE NAME FOOL YOU, WHAT YOU DO IS SPEW FIRE FROM YOUR MOUTH IN A 15-FOOT CONE AND  DEAL 3D6 FIRE DAMAGE TO EVERYONE IN IT,  HALF ON A FAILED SAVE! YOU CAST IT FROM HIGHER LEVELS, 1D6 EXTRA DAMAGE PER EACH! YOU’RE WELCOME! EVERYTHING FLAMMABLE NOT WORN OR CARRIED IS SET ON FIRE AS WELL! GOOD! BURN IT! BURN IT ALL DOWN!

3rd Level Warlock gets a Pact Boon Feature. Pact of the Chain lets us cast Find Familiar. We can use it to summon a pet to aid Kara in combat. Familiars are very useful if you know what you’re doing (seriously, Party Rogue is gonna love you even more just for using it to flank), once it dies you can summon it again, it can deliver your touch spells and you can sacrifice one of your attacks to let it attack. Sadly, you cannot get Krypto out of it, as dogs aren’t allowed for summon. But a cat is fine. Or in Warlock’s case a flying creature like Imp or Pseudodragon, Sprite or Quasit. First 3 can fly, all but Sprite have an advantage against Spells and Other Magical effects they share with you as long as you’re within 10 feet of them. Your DM shouldn’t probably be mad if you use statistics of one and refluff it as Streaky the Supercat

You also get to learn your first 2nd level Spell.

Celestial Warlock’s Flaming Sphere is a concentration spell you can keep up to 1 minute, it basically makes you cause huge ass fire in an unoccupied area 5-foot in diameter, dealing 2d6 (+1d6 for each higher spell slot level used) of fire damage, half on a successful Dexterity Saving Throw. You can even move it as a bonus action, up to 30 feet, and rise it up to 5 feet above barriers and 10 feet above pits, igniting all not worn or carried flammable objects, causing its damage effects on any creature you ram it into. More of your heat vision, really.

WHY DIDN’T I GOT THIS THING?! WHO THE FUCK WROTE THAT?! NEVERMIND, I HAVE SOMETHING AS GOOD! SCORCHING RAY LETS YOU MAKE 3 RAYS OF FIRE YOU CAN HURL AT A SINGLE OR MULTIPLE TARGETS, EACH DEALING 3D6 POINTS OF DAMAGE ON A SUCCESSFUL SPELL ATTACK ROLL! CAST IT FROM HIGHER LEVELS, YOU GET MORE RAYS, ONE PER SPELL SLOT LEVEL!

Personally, I just couldn’t resist picking  Crown of Madness. It lets you force a Wisdom Saving Throw on a target and if they fail they get Charmed and go mad. They even get a crown of jagged iron on their heads. You can keep it up for up to 1 minute with concentration and on each of its turns, you choose a target your victim must attack. Sadly it has few downsides - you must waste your actions on your turns to maintain the effects, the target makes another WIS save on end of each of its turns and they must hit someone before they move and if you do not choose a target or cannot, they can do whatever they want. Still, how can you say no to...spreading the joy?

4th Level Warlock gets an Ability Score Improvement, but we will take a feat. Tavern Brawler increases your unarmed damage die to 1d4, makes you proficient with improvised weapons, when you strike a creature with an unarmed attack or improvised weapon, you can use your bonus action to attempt to grapple the target. You also get to increase Strength or Constitution, I’ll go with the latter.

You also get a new spell AND a new Cantrip

Chill Touch lets you make a ranged spell attack, on a hit it deals 1d8 necrotic damage (plus extra d8s at level 5th, 11th and 17th) and makes the target unable to regain hit points until the start of your next turn and if the target is undead they have a disadvantage on attack rolls against you. More of your freeze breath.

 Shatter lets you make a super noise, I assume a super scream, dealing each creature within 10-foot radius sphere around the target you choose 3d8 thunder damage (+1d8 for each higher level of spell slot), half on a Constitution saving throw, on which all creatures made of inorganic material have a disadvantage on, and also dealing these damage to all nonmagical objects not worn or carried in the area

Now let’s take a move to Paladin and add some strength to all that magic. Kryptonians worshipped Rao, their star, which is close enough to your Patron, THE SUN you should probably not have much of a conflict. Maybe. Combining Patron and an Oath on a single character means that even with similar entities there might be a need to carefully balance the needs of your two masters. GM will either love you for providing such great opportunities for torturing you or hate you for having to come up with what kind of beef Rao and the fucking Sun could have.

Paladin gets you proficiency with martial weapons, medium armor and shields if you want to have your Kara in Lena’s power armor. You also get Divine Sense, allowing you to open awareness to your surroundings and detect any celestial, fiend or undead within 60 feet, as well as the type of that undead and also all areas that have been consecrated or desecrated. You can do it a number of times equal 1+ your CHA modifier and you egin uses after long rest.

You also get Lay on Hands, that allows you to, as a bonus action, restore hit points of you or a creature you touch up to amount equal your Paladin level x5 or you can spend 5 points from the pool to cure one poison or disease affecting the target. Again, treat this as Kara using her warm words and attitude to restore the fighting spirit of your comrades.

2nd Level Paladin gets to pick a fighting style. Mariner adds you +1 to AC and makes your swimming and climbing speed equal your walking speed as long as you’re not wearing armor.

You also get a Divine Smite, letting you burn a spell slot to deal extra radiant damage, 2d8 for 1st level spell slot and 1d8 extra for each higher level of the slot.

You also get Paladin Spells. Your save DC and Spell Attack Bonus are as for Warlock. However, Paladin just knows their spells and after every long rest, when they regain hit points, prepares a number of them equal to Charisma modifier + half your Paladin Level. To cast a spell paladin needs to burn a spell slot of an appropriate or higher level.  Also, you multiclass Warlock and another caster and that’s very simple - you keep an eye on each of their spell slot numbers separately but can use one’s to cast the other’s spells or for other’s features. Meaning you can burn Warlock spell slots to smite. You get 2 Spell slots but you should have at least 3 spell prepared per day so I’ll list 3 spells

Shield of Faith is a concentration spell for up to 10 minutes, providing the target with +2 bonus to AC. It stacks with Mariner and Mage Armor, meaning your AC can be up to 17 now.

Thunderous Smite is another concentration spell, it lets you on your next attack while you maintain the spell to punch someone so hard you cause huge sound wave, deal extra 2d6 damage to the target and forces them to succeed a Constitution saving throw or be pushed 10 feet away or be knocked prone.

Heroism lets you make yourself or other creature immune to being frightened and gain temporary hit points equal to your Charisma modifier. Casting from higher levels lets you pick up multiple targets for one spell.

Thunderous Smite in action.

On 3rd Level Paladin gets the Divine Health, making Kara immune to Earth diseases. You also get to choose the Divine Oath. Every Oath has rules you must follow and gains bonuses and extra spells known you can prepare.

Oath of Heroism from Unearthed Arcana is about embracing your heroic call. It’s basically built for He-Man types but it will work for Kara as well. 

You get a new spell to know - Expeditious Retreat is a Concentration spell, letting you Dash as a bonus action on each of your turns as long as you maintain it. Adds a bit of super speed to the mix.

You also get Channel Divinity,  which you can use once every long or short rest. You gain two options, both activated as a bonus action. Pearless Athlete lets you gain advantage on Athletics and Acrobatics checks, while Legendary Strike makes you crit on 19 or 20 instead of just 20 for 1 minute.

Bah, who would want that boring, tied, goody-two-shoes crap. Choose the Oath of Conquest instead. I’m not much a guy for the rules myself, but you may like the stuff Oath of Conquest has to offer 

For your new spell, choose Wrathful Smite. it works similar to Thunderous Smite, but deals psychic damage and the target hit must make Wisdom saving throw or be frightened of you.

Channel Divinity options are also better. Conquering Presence as an action forces each creature of your choice within 30 feet, as long as you can see them, to make a Wisdom saving throw or be frightened of you for 1 minute or until they succeed a save at the end of their turn. It’s like the Smite I just gave you...but you don’t need to get your hands dirty. Meanwhile Guided Strike lets you add +10 to an attack roll, you can choose to do it after you’ve rolled but before DM declares if it’s a hit or a miss.

UNSURPRISINGLY, I SEE ONLY ONE OATH WORTH MY TIME! OATH OF VENGEANCE! CHOOSE HUNTER’S MARK FOR A SPELL! REQUIRES CONCENTRATION BUT ONCE YOU MARK A TARGET, YOU DEAL EXTRA 1D6 DAMAGE TO IT WHENEVER YOU HIT THEM AND HAVE AN ADVANTAGE ON PERCEPTION AND SURVIVAL CHECKS TO TRACK THEM DOWN! AND WHEN THEY DROP TO ZERO HIT POINTS, YOU CAN PUT IT ON ANOTHER TARGET AS A BONUS ACTION! 

OW FOR THAT CHANNEL DIVINITY! AS A BONUS ACTION YOU CAN ACTIVATE VOW OF ENMITY, SWEARING YOUR VENGEANCE UPON A TARGET AND GAINING ADVANTAGE ON ATTACK ROLLS AGAINST IT FOR 1 MINUTE, UNTIL IT DROPS TO ZERO OR FALLS UNCONSCIOUS! FOR AN ACTION YOU CAN ABJURE ENEMY, FORCING A WISDOM SAVING THROW ON ONE TARGET! IF FAILED, THEY’RE FRIGHTENED FOR 1 MINUTE OR UNTIL IT TAKES DAMAGE AND IT’S SPEED IS REDUCED TO 0 AND CANNOT BE INCREASED! ON A SUCCESS ITS SPEED IS HALVED FOR THE SAME DURATION!

4th Level Paladin gains an Ability Score Improvement or a Feat. Resilient lets us round up Constitution and makes us proficient with Constitution saving throws.

5th Level Paladin gains an Extra Attack, letting you attack twice as an attack action and can now use 2nd level spells and one 1st level spell

Our 1st Level Spell will be Protection from Evil and Good. Up to 10 minutes on Concentration it grants all creatures of a chosen type - Celestial, Fiend, Fey, Undead, Elemental or Aberration - get a disadvantage on attacks against you, or another person you used it on, and are unable to charm, frighten or possess you. If the target already was under one of these effects,  it gains advantage on saving throws to break free.

Enhance Ability is a concentration spell from Oath of Heroism list, up to 1 hour of duration, giving an advantage on checks for one ability score and some extra bonuses depending on your choice.

Find Steed lets you summon a steed you can ride on. Sadly you’re too big to ride Krypto but, well, Comet the Superhorse exists. While riding him you can make any spell affecting you also affect him, you can communicate with him telepathically and if he dies he is sent back to whichever dimension you called him from and you can summon a new one. So that is a thing.

Yeah, ignore any of that. A horse, that guy is crazier than I am. Hold Person from Oath of Conquest lets you paralyze a target for up to 1 minute on concentration or if they succeed a saving throw. Immobilize them and then finish them off, while they watch hopelessly. That’s true fun!

WHILE THIS IS INDEED A GOOD SPELL, SINCE IT IS ON MY LIST TOO, I HAVE A BETTER IDEA! MISTY STEP LETS YOU TELEPORT UP TO 30 FEET IN AN UNOCCUPIED SPACE YOU CAN SEE! YOU WANTED SUPER SPEED?! HERE!

Back to Warlock. 5th Level Warlock gains a new Eldritch Invocation - Eldritch Spear increases the range of your Eldritch Blast to 300 feet. We will swap it for something more climactic next time we take the Invocations. You get access to 3rd Level Spells. Fly. Grab Fly. You are Supergirl and Supergirls just fly. It's a concentration spell and lasts up to 10 minutes, gives you a flying speed of 60 feet.

Weird, I was expecting to have this strange interruption here. Maybe they’re gone? I hope so.

6th Level Warlock gets otherworld Patron Feature and a new Spell. 

Celestial Warlock gains Radiant Soul - resistance to radiant damage and adds their Charisma modifier to spells that deal flame and radiant damage, which we have a lot. For a spell pick Counterspell, which lets you as a reaction interrupt one spell of level 3rd or less and if you want to stop a higher-level spell you need to pass a Charisma check at DC 10+Spell Level

Great Old One Warlock meanwhile gets Entropic Ward, which once per long or short rest lets you impose a disadvantage on an attack against you and until the end of your next turn grants you an advantage on the next attack against them if they miss. For bonus points be a meanie and say “look what you made me do” when you use it. For a spell, Fear is a Concentation one, that forces a Wisdom saving throw on each creature in a 30-foot cone. On failed save, they’re frightened and up for 1 minute or until you break concentration must take Dash action to get away from you and can only make another save once they no longer see you.

FIEND WARLOCK GAINS DARK ONE’S OWN LUCK! ONCE EVERY LONG OR SHORT REST YOU CAN CHOOSE TO ROLL A 1D10 AND ADD THE RESULT TO AN ABILITY CHECK OR A SAVING THROW. AND FOR THE SPELL CHOOSE FIREBALL. IT LETS YOU HURL A FIREBALL AT ANY POINT YOU CAN SEE AND THEN EVERYTHING WITHIN 20-FEET RADIUS GETS HIT BY AN EXPLOSION OF FIRE THAT DEALS 8D6 FIRE DAMAGE, HALF ON A SUCCESSFUL DEXTERITY SAVE! HIGHER LEVELS FROM WHICH YOU CAST? MORE D6S, 1 PER EACH! GREATEST SPELL IN THIS STUPID GAME! DO NOT LISTEN TO THESE FOOLS! THEY’LL TRY TO TELL YOU THERE IS MORE TO MAGIC THAN A FIREBALL! TO WHICH I SAY, BRAVE WORDS FOR SOMEONE WITHIN THE FIREBALL RANGE!

7th Level Warlock gets to pick another Eldritch Invocation and we can change our Eldritch Spear to another one, since there are two 7th level ones we want. Ghostly Gaze lets you once per short or long rest see through solid objects, it is a concentration effect. Trickster's Escape allows you to cast Freedom of Movement on yourself without expending a spell slot once per long rest. For 1 hour, no concentration, you or another creature ignores different terrain, no magical effects can reduce your speed, you cannot be paralyzed or restrained by magic and you can escape nonmagical restraints by spending 5 feet of movement and underwater you are not impaired when moving or fighting underwater.

ALTERNATIVE: New Warlock Eldritch Invocation from Unearthed Arcana, Investment of the Chain Master, allows you to sacrifice some of your own power and instead have Streaky the Supercat be an actual cat - when you cast Find Familiar you can grant the familiar flying or swimming speed of 40 feet, removes its need to breathe, makes their attack be treated as magical weapons and lets you substitute your Spell Save Difficulty instead of theirs whenever they force a creature to make a saving throw.

8th level Warlock gets Ability Score Improvement, increase your Charisma.

On both 7th and 8th levels you gain two new Spells and access to 4th level spells.

Elemental Bane forces a Constitution saving throw on a target and if they fail up to 1 minute they lose resistance they had to a chosen type of damage, say fire, and take an extra 2d6 of damage whenever they’re taking that type of damage. Sadly it is concentration.

Wall of Fire is also Concentration, it creates a 60 feet long, 20 feet high ad1 feet thick wall or a 20 feet in diameter, 20 feet high, 1 feet thick ring of fire, dealing 5d8 fire damage to all creatures within the area, half on a successful Dexterity saving throw, and any creature that ends its turn within 10 feet on the side of the wall you choose takes 5d8 fire damage, with no save. It’s a bonus spell from Celestial...

..AND FIEND WARLOCK! THESE ARE GOOD SPELLS, I SHALL STICK TO THEM!

Well, I will not. Forget these two, let’s make something more...creative.

Blight kills the moisture within the target, dealing 8d8 necrotic damage, half on a succesfull Constitution save.

Evard’s Black Tentacles turn a 20-foot square you can see into a difficult terrain and any creature that starts or finishes its turn on it must succeed a Dexterity saving throw or take 3d6 bludgeoning damage and be restrained. If it already is restrained it doesn’t get the save, just the damage. On concentration, spell lasts up to 1 minute. How do you explain this one? Your Supergirl is just so twisted, of course! It doesn’t make sense but...does it need to?

How Supergirl probably looks casting Wall of Fire...or any fire-based spell we gave her

Back to Paladin for the rest of the build. 6th level Paladin gets Aura of Protection - as long as you’re conscious you and your allies within 10 feet add your Charisma modifier to their saving throws.

At 7th level you get a new Spell, Aid lets you choose 3 friendly creatures within 30 feet and strengthen their resolve, granting them 5 extra hit points for the next 8 hours + 5 more per each higher level of the spell you cast this from. No concentration and hit points can get over their maximum number, meaning you can cast this before combat.

You also gain Sacred Oath Feature

Mighty Deed is Oath of Heroism feature that you can use once per turn whenever you score a critical hit or reduce a creature to a 0 hit points, you can choose a number of creatures you can see up to your Charisma modifier. You can either decide to restore 1d6+your Charisma modifier of their health points or force them to succeed a Wisdom saving throw or be frightened of you until the start of your next turn.

I can do it better. Oath of Conquest’s Aura of Conquest that extends 10 feet from you and makes it that every creature that is frightened of you within the aura, their speed is reduced to 0 and every time they start their turn within the aura, they take psychic damage equal to half your Paladin level.

OATH OF VENGEANCE MAKES YOU THE RELENTLESS AVENGER! YOU CAN NOW MOVE TO INTERCEPT THE GUILTY’S ESCAPE! WHEN YOU HIT A CREATURE WITH OPPORTUNITY ATTACK, YOU CAN MOVE UP TO HALF OF YOUR SPEED AS A PART OF THE SAME REACTION AND WITHOUT PROVOKING OPPORTUNITY ATTACKS YOURSELF!

9th Level Paladin gains access to 3rd level spells. Oath of Heroism AND OATH OF VENGEANCE gains you two following spells

Haste lets you choose yourself or a creature you can see within the range. Up to 1 minute, requiring Concentration to maintain, the spell doubles the target’s speed, grants +2 to AC, advantage on Dexterity saving throws and a bonus action that can be used to make an extra attack action, dash, disengage, hide or use object. When the spell ends, the target cannot take any actions for a turn.

Protection from Energy is a Concentration spell up to 1 hour of duration, granting resistance to acid, cold, fire, lightning or thunder damage.

Yeah, Oath of Conquest doesn’t get these two. We’ll pick Bestow Curse, another of the Concentration spells lasting up to 1 minuter or until a Remove Curse is cast. The target must succeed a Wisdom saving throw or have to suffer one of the effects: disadvantages on all saving throws or ability checks of chosen ability score, disadvantage on attack rolls against you, being dealt extra 1d8 necrotic damage from all your attacks and spells or having to succeed a Wisdom saving throw at the beginning of its every turn or be forced to waste it doing nothing.

Blinding Smite is another Smite on Concentration spell that you cast and it works with your next attack within 1 minute, dealing extra 2d8 radiant damage and forcing a Constitution Saving Throw or be blinded until the rest of that 1 minute duration.

10th Level Paladin gets Aura of Courage, making you and friendly creatures with 10 feet of you immune to being frightened as long as you’re conscious.

11th Level Paladin gets improved Divine Smite, dealing extra 1d8 radiant Damage on using a Smite. You also get one more spell slot so grab an additional Spell - Crusader’s Mantle. Another Concentration, up to 1 minute, it makes you radiate an aura that boosters the courage of your allies, making them and you deal 1d4 additional radiant damage on all weapon attacks.

Our Capstone is 12th Level Paladin and an Ability Score improvement. You should have maxed your Charisma by now, so boost Strength.

So here we are at the end, with a Celestial Pact Warlock 8/Oath of Heroism Paladin 12. Let’s see how valid this build is. First of all, you have multiple ways to deal with additional damage and it is damage of various types, so you are always prepared and Warlock Spell Slots can be burn for Smiting and be regained on short rest. Warlock Cantrips work well with a large number of Concentration-requiring spells, meaning you aren’t reduced to just punching things while maintaining effects of your spell. You’re also very mobile, having multiple abilities to ensure you will not be impaired on the battlefield. Finally, you have multiple means to revigorate your allies in combat, meaning you can be the inspiring hero whose heroism and smile often let your friends gain the second wind in time of need.

On the downsides, your base damage is 1d4, we didn’t max Strength, meaning you kinda relly on your Smiting and extra damage. While you should have a decent amount of Hit Points, you didn’t max your Constitution and many of your spells require concentration, meaning you often may have it broken and that you have to choose which of Supergirl powers you need at the time. Your number of spell slots is also limited and even with Warlock Slots, there will be the times you will just burn out of them with your reliance on Smite. Finally, while you have a variety of damage types to deal, the majority of them is Fire and Radiant, meaning you will run into enemies that have resistance or outright immunity. And sadly our ability to use Cold Breath is limited and mostly relies on low-level spells.

THIS IS AN EVEN BIGGER PROBLEM WITH MY BUILD! TOO MANY FOOLS THINK THEY CAN HIDE FROM EVERBURNING FIRE!

My build meanwhile is more...controlling. You can multiple abilities to mess with your enemies’ minds, threaten or incapacitate them. You will control the battlefield and sow fear and terror among your enemies...or should I say, victims? Sadly, these abilities grant Wisdom saving throws. So stay away from antagonizing Druids and Monks, they’re no fun anyway.

Overall Supergirl is a strong and surprisingly versatile ally that will make a great addition to many teams. Just remember you cannot save the world alone and get yourself some good allies before you go to save the day.

For example. D&D can make that team actually come true.

ALTERNATIVE:  Since a new Unearthed Arcana came up with an option for Paladin to pick Unarmed Fighting Combat Style, here is a quick guide how to run Kara using it:

When you take your first level of Paladin, Pick Unarmed Fighting. it makes your fists deal 1d6+ your Strength modifier in damage and if you use both hands to fight it changes to 1d8+STR modifier. In addition, whenever you successfully grapple a creature you can deal it 1d4 damage and later whenever you deal damage to a grappled creature, you can add a 1d4 to the roll.

On 4th level replace Tavern Brawler with War Caster, which lets you make Concentration rolls with an advantage and allows to cast spells even when you’re holding something in both hands, like a weapon.  

Spend the rest of your Ability Score improvements increasing Strength and Charisma so that you round them up.

As a result, Kara will be squishier and have worse Concentration checks but she should mitigate the latter with an advantage on those checks and what she loses in defense she gains in the offense.

You have any criticism or advice? Share it and be sure to check the masterpost for my other Builds.

- Admin

[the-gardenofproserpine]

Science and Truth

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood can get pretty dark.

Now there is a lot to be said on FMA:B, but Wisecrack already explained the main points in my mind in the best way possible while giving real life examples. Click here to see the video.

I apologise if I repeat any points in whatever I write next. It's never planned and I just put in whatever thoughts are in my head.

Now that that's done, Hagimemashou!

What do I start with, hm... I thought of doing Alchemy but there's nothing really left to be said after the video.

Human Transmutation

Following is a bit of information about the law of Equivalent Exchange (copied from Wikia. Hontoni Bakajanai)

-In order to obtain or create something, something of equal value must be lost or destroyed." In standard practice, Equivalent Exchange is separated into two parts:

-The Law of Conservation of Mass, which states that energy and matter can neither be created from nothing nor destroyed to the point of elemental nonexistence. In other words, to create an object weighing one kilogram, at least one kilogram of material is necessary and destroying an object weighing one kilogram would reduce it to a set of parts, the sum of which would weigh one kilogram.

-The Law of Natural Providence, which states that an object or material made of a particular substance or element can only be transmuted into another object with the same basic makeup and properties of that initial material. In other words, an object or material made mostly of water can only be transmuted into another object with the attributes of water.

Rebound Since the alchemical forces being manipulated are not human in origin, but of the world as a whole, the consequences for attempting to bypass the Law of Equivalent Exchange in transmutation are not merely failure and cessation. When too much is attempted out of too little, what occurs is called a Rebound, in which the alchemical forces that are thrown out of balance on either side of the equation fluctuate wildly of their own accord in order to stabilize themselves - taking or giving more than was intended in often unpredictable and catastrophic ways such as accidental mutation, serious injury, or death.

It is clear that other than the basic makeup and elements of the human body, there is something else that makes one a human. I mean, humans are beings that evolved from the first eukaryotes after billions of years. They are living, they think and feel and there is something that makes a human, human. For now I will refer to that as a 'soul'.

In a phenomenon of a rebound, the alchemical forces adjust the sides of the equation (somehow). Now we know that Ed and Al were transmuting the elements making up a human body into a human body, and they were attempting to obtain their mother's life. Naturally, they had to give something because of the law of Equivalent Exchange. Does that mean that Alphonse's body and Edward's arm held equal value as that of Trisha's life, a soul?

Of course not. Rebound adjusts both sides of the equation, and clearly Trisha does not come back to life. Instead, what we see is a humanoid that just moves with perhaps some coordination in the body, but it clearly has no life.

Therefore, human transmutation is impossible. Once one loses their life, the element that makes them living (the soul), it cannot be obtained back. Besides, the law of conservation of mass does not include that which is not matter.

Now what confuses me is that in general, when an alchemist performs alchemy, they have to give nothing. Just transforming the matter from one firm to the other, like water to ice or hydrogen from ammonia. Then why did they have to give anything during human transmutation, when they already have the materials? Do the alchemical forces understand what they want and attempt to execute it, even if it is impossible?

I don't really know where I'm going with this so let's now focus on the human chimera, another form of human transmutation.

Shou Tucker created a human chimera of his dog Alexander, and his daughter Nina. The chimera could speak (though it was minimal) and feel, though couldn't express. I think two souls (Alexander's and Nina's) were trapped in that body, almost like a philosopher's stone (but with two souls). This is false if Alexander does not have a soul but I think all life forms do have a soul. FMA:B hasn't explained everything clearly (which is fine, but can seem to contradict/confuse two things).

This transmutation was mostly a failure in terms of intelligence. However, once we come to the case of Greed's and Kimblee's chimeras, things are easier to understand. They had the physical ability of both human and the creature and were still intelligent, though they also gained the animal instincts of the creature.

Lastly, coming to what Van Hohenheim did to Izumi. He couldn't restore her organs, but could adjust them so the blood flowed better because he was a human philosopher's stone.

Many souls were trapped in him, but he couldn't restore the organs. I think that means once a change is made, it is made. What is done is done and to regain what we had previously, we must make another exchange.

So where does it all go, all that is perhaps not in 'existence' or in 'life'?

I'll refer to that as 'Truth'.

We've seen Truth in the form of Alphonse's body, having Edward's arm and leg. We've seen truth as nothing, perhaps just as physical form for our comprehension who echoes thoughts of a truth hidden in our mind. There is no good and no bad, and all must be equal. The value of a soul is perhaps as great as life (this is all my interpretation).

Perhaps this thing called truth is where everything belongs to. Life, death, all, nothing - everything is one.

Anyway, Truth could even be subjective or a perception of one entity, just one thing. There are endless possibilities and I don't know, in general 'Truth' or the 'One' is a very thought-provoking element in the story.

The Homunculus and Father

The Seven Deadly Sins of Human Beings, though in the show it is mostly referred to as the sins of Father. Each of them is intriguing in their own aspect and the human-like qualities that is perhaps attached to the sin.

Father was a result of some sort of alchemy using Slave 23's blood, if I remember correctly. I've always been curious about the guy; what exactly it is, does it have a soul, how did it become sentient, stuff like that. Other than Gluttony and sort of Sloth, I understand the significance of each sin in Father and it comes together when the Dwarf (Father in his 'original form') meets Truth. I cannot conclude much because the show really didn't explain much about its nature. I don't know where I'm going with this but the anime really explored humanity, especially with science. The Dwarf was a result of science and so were the chimeras. While the chimeras May have more than one soul, the Dwarf has none (and I think he was a Homunculus?). He created other Homunculi using the philosopher's stone, something that trapped a number of souls. One thing I can possibly draw from this is the following; each soul is somewhat a manifestation or a part of the Truth (I'm leaning more towards a manifestation because of the Gate of Truth and all). That soul does affect a living being, it's not just the nervous system and mind and even consciousness. You cannot tamper with these souls, this sort of truth because it is absolute. No amount of alchemy of anything can give you the dead back because it's not just that the soul has left their body. Time progresses for everything and thus information changes. Calling the dead back is like forcing that soul to return to some sort of previous state, maybe, and while you may receive a lifeless moving body you give your own body parts. Law of equivalent exchange; here it's mass. The soul never comes into the picture because it cannot.

The anime also continuously shows human curiosity, despair and the urge to 'grow' more and more through stuff like Riza's father and the flame Alchemist, the chimeras, the dwarf in the flask, human transmutation, other little political factors and even our general character's wishing for stuff like revenge. There's a lot of flaws explored but there are also the good points, quite often through the emotions of the homunculi (which is particularly interesting since they represent the sins of mankind).

At this point I'm just blabbering. It's a great show even if you're not into this random philosophical stuff because of the animation, characters, plot, comedy and heartfelt moments, everything. I've just let out this pretentious nonsense if anyone wants to read but it really deserves its rating of being number one in the places it is/was.

[tomasorban]

THE ZODIAC: CANCER THE CRAB

Date of Rulership: 22nd June-23rd July; Polarity: Negative, female; Quality: Cardinal; Ruling planet: Moon; Element: Water; Body part: Heart, Lungs, and stomach; Colour: Silvery Grey; Gemstone: Pearl; Metal: Silver.

In the signs thus far examined, we have seen the formative energies of life achieve expression through different mediums: initially through the spontaneity and impulsive carnal drives of Aries; then through the aesthetic kaleidoscope of meandering Taurus; and finally the subdivision of vital force under the command of Gemini which enabled an innovative, evolutionary leap of consciousness. The latter’s propensity to concurrently exist in material and ethereal worlds also made sentient an intermediary realm in which the physical and spiritual mingled. Many would understand this intermediary plane to be the unrestrained world of imagination, intuition, thinking, memory, and emotion. It binds spirit to the body, and the emancipating dialogue that ensues between the two as a result engenders far-reaching repercussions for both. It invariably shapes the bundle of psychological habits and impulses that each of us calls self. It is the god Proteus and the nymph Thetis; a primordial ocean of acute shape-shifting awareness. Sometimes one might find themselves trapped in a kaleidoscopic labyrinth of geometrical contours or in shapeless clouds. At other times, one might see a sequence of rhythms or sounds, hear colourful objects, and taste backward or previously unseen locomotion. At other times still, one can be overwhelmed or possessed by anxiety, fear, titillation, love, or relaxation one minute, and riddled by a complete absence of emotion the next. At some point it might be apparent that everything in existence comprises the skin of a gargantuan cosmic animal and at other points all created matter might appear to be discarnate and autonomous entities that simply inhabit the same cosmic space. Polarities can coalesce under a singular experience and thinking processes are transposed to concentrated levels that elude comprehension on the physical plane. Nothing is ever controlled or mediated; there is just a perpetual waxing and waning of thoughts and ideas that explode onto the sands of consciousness one minute and dry up the next. Time becomes a helium balloon, expanding as to spur the perception that a plethora of daylong activities have been squeezed into the space of a few minutes and then shrinking as to flush out the space of a day in two seconds. In this realm, the personal can become impersonal very quickly and barriers deemed impenetrable in the physical world are breached at will.

Gemini’s severe allergies to the emotional faucet rendered it somewhat superficial, insensitive, and impotent to the depth of experience, an anomaly which is corrected with the inauguration of the Cancerian archetype. Because the formative energies of Cancer originate from this intermediary realm of being which connects the physical and spiritual, it acquaints humans with their individual souls but also with the anima mundi, the cosmic soul of Mother Nature which unites all creatures irrespective of size or complexity. A newborn inclination to look inward for nirvana underpins the fundamental Gnostic adage of this archetype, namely that the external environment, the mechanical world into which we are born, appears to be an exotic synthesis of indifferent and insensitive elements that cannot offer inner harmony or fulfilment to spiritually-orientated humanity. The only hope for the human condition, according to Cancer, is to turn on the emotional faucets of the psychic plane and let the cold and hot water form a sensitive current that incite a sense of meaning and purpose and drive the impersonal spirit or life force through the tumultuous waters of life until it is again time to reunite with the paradisal state of perfection in maternal unconsciousness.

“Folks, life’s all about being feelings,” says Cancer. “Feelings and sandcastles, my friends! I like to build mine with all sorts of implements, usually down by the seashore. If I don’t use sand and water its paint and pastels, and sometimes I even use pen and writing paper. I create them with my vivid imagination and decide who or what is going to be living inside. I decide upon fates and lifespans and transcribe the romantic events that will unravel within its high walls. Sadly, there comes a time when the incoming tide levels and sucks them back into the pit of the ocean’s stomach. I understand the tides, the coming and going of primordial energies, and the cycles of the cosmos like no other which is why I build my houses strong. Strength equals domestic stability and tranquillity, something everyone wants! I use the sturdiest things available–sticks, stones, metals, bits of detritus from the seabed–to insulate my soft and squishy parts from Mother Nature’s wrath and Man’s acidic and unbecoming temperament. As a humanitarian, I’m always willing to share my space with an appropriate other, especially if that other is a poor, helpless soul in need of smothering or mothering.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m tactile and love affection. I’ll also admit that I do have too much of the moon and the sea in me; my moods can go from black, to low, to white, to high, and to crescent shape in the space of about a microsecond. I can be volatile that way, but I more than make up for it with my talent for story-telling, my attention to detail, and my emotional rapport. I can also be timid and shy, but once you’ve gained my trust and extricated me from my crabby shell you’ll feel like you’ve known me for years! Once I’m out you’ll have to be rather gentle with me; I’m not particularly fond of prying eyes or confrontation, verbal or otherwise, so I will often sidestep around these. If this is not possible or plausible I’ll just thrust my big old pincers out and threaten to dice the adversary up into little pieces. You should also know that I’m a fiercely faithful friend, and my concern for the welfare of others can often be mistaken for clinginess and co-dependence. My soul is dark like rocks of obsidian, and deeper than the Mariana trench in the Pacific Ocean. Just like these qualities strike night terrors in those individuals not quite attuned to their inner selves, so too does it nurture my own worst nightmare–the fear that I might be deserted to my own devices and have to face life alone.”

Cancer is undoubtedly the first sign to actively work through the mimetic bank of the collective unconscious, drawing upon cosmic archetypes like the tribal brother or sister, love, the heroic journey, utopian societies like the legendary Atlantis, and the struggle between seemingly disembodied forces of good and evil to create its own narratives, real or imagined. Souls incarnating through the stars of this zodiacal constellation more often than not exhibit melancholia, sentimentalist romanticism, and a longing to recapture the locus classicus of Golden Ages bygone. The latter is most likely due to the fact that Cancerians retain prenatal memories of the paradisal perfection within the womb, and hence looking backward into the past is also examining a longwinded path that meanders further and further from union with the divine.  Their deep connection to the supranormal and creative powers of the greater subconscious mind and its intuitive faction, as well as a heartfelt obsession with the subtler and intimate details of our psychological makeup makes them the true hub of the arts. It is no coincidence that souls born under the aegis of Cancer tend to be artists, writers, musicians, and poets. The unconscious willpower or drive of a Cancerian soul is second to none.

Lamentably, Cancer’s derivation from an imaginative plane experienced through the electrical power of primordial ebbs and flows without the aid of a transistor isn’t all milk and honey. Cancerians are notorious for letting the intellectual throne of their personal kingdoms be usurped by emotion, and we all know what happens when unchecked emotions are given prominence over wisdom and intellect: problems and worries multiply and quickly distort our perceptions of the outside world so that everyone appears dishonest, deceptive, potentially threatening, and narcissistic. Emotionally disturbed Cancerians usually repress their feelings for prolonged periods, letting grievances and resentments simmer and become pressurised deep in the confines of their unconscious until these can no longer be contained. When the tempestuous eruption finally comes to pass, the rock-melting intensity of the sonic blast can be so potent as to incinerate, alter, or disfigure relationships permanently. This is one of just many reasons why Cancerians are introverts, choosing to traffic in relationships that are highly unlikely to balloon into melodramatic love affairs or force them into encounters with their own shadows.  

Like Aries, Taurus and Gemini, there are also two symbols associated with Cancer the Crab. The first of these, the animal totem, evokes the primary psychic composition of all beings born under this zodiacal sign; deriving from and dwelling in the element of water, crabs are tranquil, expressive and passive in their habits. The existence of a shell denotes a self-absorbed proclivity towards domestication, introversion, emotional vulnerability, and cultivation of the soul’s imaginative realm. In embarking in a cross-cultural and historical examination, we find that the ubiquitous expression of this archetype has altered in time. For some of the prehistoric cultures, Cancer was represented as a crayfish. Moving into historic times, the ancient Egyptians imagined the constellation as an embodiment of the morning sun–Khephera –whose totemic animal was the scarab beetle. The modern image associated with this archetype was inherited from Babylonian or Chaldean astrology, the latter also influencing the iconography used by the Persian and Hellenistic peoples. The fixed stars associated with this constellation were deemed of utmost importance given that they delineated the seat of an ethereal Great Mother Goddess from which all life in the cosmos had sprung forth. Two ancient calendars, the Egyptian and the Mayan, further illuminate Cancer’s importance as an archetypal indicator of cosmic beginnings and endings: the ancient Egyptians, ascribed prominence to it as the home in which almighty Sirius, the mediating star of the wheel of heaven, rose heliacally to herald the New Year; and the Mayans prophesized that an alignment of the planets within Cancer would spur an act of un-creation and spell the end of the universe. In Roman myth, the goddess Juno fashioned Cancer and placed her in the starry heavens to serve as a cosmic chronometer and reverse the forward-moving cycle of creation when she finally felt that the process of becoming would be of no further benefit to mortals and immortals alike.

The second symbol, an astrological shorthand for the zodiacal sign, shows two identical figures whose arrangement discloses polar opposition. In Gemini this image of duality symbolizes a conunctionis or marriage of opposites, but in Cancer it draws attention to the insuperable psychic tides that are inherent in the nature of this archetype and demonstrated by the gravitational forces and see-saw interfaces imposed upon the earth by its mediating planet, the moon. The two spirals pertaining to each figure may be interpreted in a variety of ways; either as a pair of breasts, symbols of fecundity and divine providence, or as two spermatozoa whose conjunction generates the miracle of life. Both are connected to creation and both recall the feminine element of water as the great cosmic womb through which evolutionary life processes take root. Naturally this sign is intimately connected to physical conception and birth, as well as the psychological dependence of the developing ego on the uroboric Self. Hence, the symbol also serves as a memory cue for those primordial moments of happiness, fundamental unity, oneness, and paradisal perfection experienced in the womb before birth, along with the sadness and loss that comes from being separated from the maternal realm of unconsciousness.

[weareyour4]

What You Eat Affects How We Live: Climate Change and Animal Farming by Valentina H

My name is Valentina and I am a university student and an activist looking for ways to inspire positive social change through various media - one of them being this blog post extracted from my Bachelor’s dissertation which I’d written with a focus on the link between climate change, animal agriculture and human behaviour. I will introduce the main facts and figures on climate change and relevant philosophies related to human and non-human animals.

Introduction

With the current state of world affairs and apparent global issues, it is hardly news that a number of changes need to occur to help the planet and the people. The environmental issues are well known yet little is done to stop them. Eight million tonnes of plastic – bottles, packaging and other waste – are dumped into the ocean every year, killing marine life and entering the human food chain (Reuters, 2017). As our diets become more meat- and dairy-rich, the hidden climate cost of our food mounts up (Dave Reay for France-Presse, 2017). PETA believes that animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, or used for our entertainment or abuse in any other way, yet many people have never even considered the impact that their clothes, food, cosmetics or entertainment may have on the lives of animals (2018). Vegans advocate that rearing animals for food is bad for the environment and inefficient; they suggest that world food shortages could be solved by farming crops rather than animals (politics.co.uk, 2018). To sum up the main concern of this article swiftly:

“We are the first generation to fully understand climate change and the last generation to be able to do something about it.” (Taalas for McGrath, 2018)

Climate change & Agriculture

We find ourselves in a time where climate change is finally understood for what it is, even with big name politicians (ahem) fooling us into believing it’s a myth. Every fraction of a degree of global warming makes a difference to human health, access to food and fresh water, extinction of animals and plants, survival of coral reefs and marine life, difference to economic productivity, food security, and to the resilience of our infrastructure and cities; it makes a difference to the speed of glacier melt and water supplies, and the future of low-lying islands and coastal communities (Elena Manaenkova for McGrath, 2018). Global warming is also linked with extreme weather events, disease outbreaks, population displacement and armed conflict as well as inevitable shifts in agriculture (Geggel, 2018).

The Committee on Climate Change (CCC) has stated that fundamental agriculture reforms are needed for the UK to reach carbon neutrality (George, 2018) This means the number of cattle and sheep in the UK should be reduced by between a fifth and a half to help combat climate change, because beef and lamb produce most farm greenhouse gases (Harrabin, 2018). To free up land from agriculture, we need to decrease our demand for meat and dairy products. The recent NHS Eatwell guide proposes a reduction in consumption of 89% for beef and 63% for lamb, and a 20% decline in dairy products (Harrabin, 2018).

Animal agriculture is responsible for 18 percent of greenhouse gas emissions, more than the combined exhaust from all transportation; methane, a greenhouse gas far more potent than CO2, is produced from human activity in almost equal measure from gas leaks during the production and transport of coal, oil and natural gas; and from the flatulence of ruminants such as cattle and sheep, as well as the decay of organic waste, notably in landfills (France-Presse, 2017).

“Cows belching less methane may not be as eye-catching as wind turbines and solar panels, but they are just as vital for addressing climate change” says prof. Dave Reay for France-Presse (2017).

Joseph Poore at the University of Oxford says that avoiding the consumption of animal products altogether delivers far better environmental benefits than trying to purchase sustainable meat and dairy (Carrington, 2018).

Anthropocentrism

Anthropocentrism is a philosophy which regards human beings as the central or most significant entities in the world, separate from and superior to nature which is a resource that may justifiably be exploited for the benefit of humankind (Boslaugh, 2018). Many ethicists find its roots in the Creation story told in the book of Genesis in the Judeo-Christian Bible, in which humans are created in the image of God and are instructed to ‘subdue’ Earth and to ‘have dominion’ over all other living creatures, condoning an instrumental view of nature, where the natural world has value only as it benefits humankind (Boslaugh, 2018).

Burchett (2014) says that ‘our species’ most extensive ecological degradations since the industrial revolution have been inordinately influenced by consumers in societies whose intellectual founders took humans to be the measure of all things, many environmentalists have taken it for granted that ecological degradation is an inevitable side effect of anthropocentrism.

The anthropocentrism that I stand against is that of human-centeredness which fails to value humanity as such and that fails to acknowledge humanity’s dependence and influence upon nature. Burchett (2014) also notes that humanity’s ecological predicament is not the result of overvaluing humanity, but of “permitting institutionalized forms of ethical egoism to underlie policies that narrowly focus on the short-term, frivolous interests of current individuals at the expense of the vital interests of future generations.” But why would we ever permit policies and legislations that are foreseeably detrimental to the long-term satisfaction of basic and vital human interests and contrastingly oppose sustainable development?

Speciesism

Broglio (2011) outlines our relationship to non-human animals by stating we traditionally view them as having limited faculties and we differentiate ourselves from them by measuring them against our considered superiority, and this flattening of animals’ worlds has legitimated any number of cruel acts against animals. The problem of Speciesism involves assigning different values or rights to beings on the basis of the species to which they belong. The concept claims that animals should not be treated as an object or property in the light of their sentient qualities. And yet we assign different values to different animal species – dogs and cats are wrong to hurt and kill but not the same applies to chickens, pigs or cows. This moral hypocrisy is obvious when most of us would protest to the dog-meat trade found in various countries, because we culturally consider it wrong to hurt and eat dogs, but most wouldn’t consider the same attitude towards the so-called ‘meat-bearing animals’. Adams (2014) outlines our desire to separate meat eating and the animals in that we append the word ‘meat’ only when that form is not consumed in our culture [dog-meat, horse-meat] and rename the animal flesh either by dropping the reference to meat (chicken, not chicken-meat), or in the instance of cows by the location from which the portion of flesh comes from.

An influential vegan activist Ed Winters (2018) says that if you put an idea into society long enough, it becomes a societal norm, and if you keep fuelling it, over time it forms part of the society’s culture, then passed from generation to generation it becomes tradition, but “we need only look across the world right now to see that culture and tradition are not good benchmarks of morality.”

Conclusion

Through this post I wanted to build a contextual background of theory to inspire others towards positive social change. I have focused on the pressing issue of climate change and through my research into human-caused environmental issues, a strong link emerged between consumer habits and the damaging effects of animal agriculture on climate change.

Because I am also an activist for animal rights, I have decided to focus on both the ethical issue of animal farming and the scientific findings which suggest rapid change needs to be made in decreasing consumer demand for animal products. I also briefly introduced the topics of anthropocentrism and speciesism.

This project was an eye-opening journey for me, towards sustainability through rejection of conventional consumerism, which includes and prioritizes a vegan diet, or a diet with a minimal presence of animal produce. This finding comes as a result of numerous official sources commenting on the need for decreased global consumption of especially meat, milk, and dairy products in order to effectively combat climate change. This research shifted my lifestyle as well as my outlook on life, the society and my future career prospects as I aim to continue my activist escapades. To conclude, without any further ado, now is the most appropriate time to focus everyone’s attention on reducing our impact on climate change.

[patchwork-puppybutch]

My fantasy involving

❄️Being a loyal sexual partner and companion and follower for an Eldritch god-like frost dragon

has merged with my (previously separate) fantasy of

🥼being an otherworldly creature, sentient and curious, who (along with a couple dozen others of my kind) agreed to being studied in a highly controlled laboratory, largely for the purpose of studying our sexual fluids, which possess an enormous amount of power (Radioactive? Potential? Electromagnetic? Something else? Unknown—but it has the potential to power the entire lab, and who knows what else?); thus we are kept (happily) in an indoor approximation of an ideal environment (kinda looks like a spooky clearing or field under a light mimicking the full moon) and pampered, and (very happily) routinely brought into a lab room equipped with some new iteration of the machine that fits over our sexual organs and stimulates us to orgasm to collect every last drop of our precious come (the lab techs can request explicit permission from the research team, if they desire to help in a more hands-on way; of course, there is a dedicated number of staff who aren’t interested/allowed to get involved, for situations where a more objective staff member is required; but there’s also a delectable amount of staff who are absolutely allowed—encouraged, even—to stimulate data collection in more intimate ways.

I wonder if I, as a haunting beast, am a creation or follower of the god, and if the power in my come, comes from the Trans-dimensional frost dragon. Or maybe the beast has a similar god-thing that it worships. All of this can loop back into me being a pup.

As in, me fucking myself, fantasizing that I am being guided by a god-thing, who holds a beaker near my stroked dick, purring to me, “Come for me, give me what is mine, I will take it to the most fertile of your kind, and I will take it into my own body and then give it to the most fertile of your kind. I will bury it deep within the perfect recipient. Your come is so exceptional that I will see to this task myself—I will fill myself with your come and then rut my godlike dick into the most exceptional of your kind, and fill it with your come. Give me all of it. Ever last drop is divine. Come for me, into this little cup, spill yourself, let it flow, as much as you can spare for your god…”

I don’t have any brain cells to spare for the associated concept of ‘breeding.’ There isn’t any reproduction. I detach my innate desire to [fill a partner/be filled with] come, from the typical outcome. In this case, the act that is nearly identical to ‘breeding’ simply serves to please the god-thing. Does it get power when come is spilt in its name? Does it follow the orgasm from one entity to another and cultivate it into a power to harvest? Does it simply satisfy its own sexual desires? Unknown :3 irrelevant. Eldritch. I don’t spare a thought about why. I simply do the things that please the god-thing I am enraptured by, which is a cherishing and adoring god-thing who delights in the bliss of it’s adorable little devoted companions.

[squi-she]

Undead in the Mimicverse

More Mimicverse lore! Enjoy! Here's a link to the original document, if you want to read it that way instead. The fundamental force behind the seemingly spontaneous animation in objects comes from the fact that everything has a little bit of divine power in it. It's a property of matter, much like mass and gravity. This energy is largely dormant, undirected, but when shaped by a sentient mind, it is imbued with intent, which is how you get mimics, as detailed here. 

The materials that make up the bodies of living things are imbued with a basic level of intent via the act of procreation, and throughout the course of a creature's life, as they use their body to move and act and survive, they imbue more intent. More complex minds imbue more intent than simpler ones, and sentient beings imbue the strongest intent. However, while objects' intent simply motivates them to be (or perhaps "be recognized as") the thing they were created to be, dead bodies carry the intent to live. This is how undead naturally form. 

It's important to note that this intent is NOT the same thing as a soul- the soul is more like a being's ego or sense of self, and it can separate from the body and in some cases become a distinct entity. That is to say, a zombie, skeleton, or other mindless undead, is NOT the person's soul returned from the dead, though sometimes, the lingering intent may cause a mindless undead's actions to reflect the person that once occupied them (some spontaneous undead will wander 'home' after animating, which can be traumatizing and dangerous for their living relatives). Some sentient undead do retain their souls, but sentient undead DO NOT rise naturally - there is always some form of outside magical influence involved, such as a spell or curse.

Several factors play into whether a body will rise on its own. The most important factor is the state of mind at the moment of death - creatures experiencing profound regret, that have an important mission they have not completed, and those that die suddenly and unexpectedly all have dramatically higher rates of spontaneous animation. A physically intact body is more likely to rise- the intent that allows them to move wants the corpse to move the way it did in life, so if a body is split apart, crushed, or missing a limb, the intent doesn't line up with how the body is capable of movement. The reason so many mindless undead shamble and lurch with their movements is mostly due to physical damage to the body- it's trying to move normally with severed tendons, rotted muscles, and broken bones, like a construct with the wrong parts. Bodies that are seen and recognized as 'dead' are also less likely to rise - proper funeral rites often arise to indirectly serve this purpose, and often include cremation or some form of ritual destruction of the body.  

Humanoid bodies are most likely to become undead spontaneously, and the easiest to animate- it requires the least magical 'force' to animate them due to stronger fundamental intent. Zombies or skeletons are the most common. Animals and other creatures can also be animated but it generally requires greater amounts of negative energy. Undead made from assembled body parts or undead that are twisted to no longer resemble the bodies' original form almost never arise naturally, and require much more complex magic to create.

Liches are a special form of sentient undead, in that it's carefully self-inflicted. First, a ritual is performed that infuses their body with necromantic energy, killing the body but leaving the soul still in control of the now-undead flesh. Then, a second ritual is performed, where the lich tears off a part of their soul and imbues it into a mundane object, awakening it into a pseudomimic in the process. While most liches store their souls in something like a gem or other small item that can be kept secure, it's theoretically possible for a lich to bind their soul to any sort of object they choose. The item is usually heavily enchanted, so as to make it harder to destroy or locate, once the ritual is complete.

With the initial transformation now complete, the lich continues about their business. When the lich's body is destroyed or the soul is otherwise forced out of it, because part of the soul is in the item, the larger portion of the soul is then drawn to it instead of one of the afterlife planes. The lich can then begin reconstructing their physical body- with suitable preparation and protection, they can have one prepared, but the new body must be in close proximity to the item. When they have a body to inhabit, they tear the majority of their soul from the item and project it to the body again. It's possible to project the soul into other undead bodies, or even constructs, but it's not wise long-term - a disconnect between a soul and the body it inhabits can lead to dissociation, dysphoria, and eventual madness, especially over the course of hundreds and thousands of years. All liches experience this to some degree - partially because their undead body does not function as a living one, but even in a perfect replica, the body cannot perfectly match the soul because part of the soul is gone, stored in the item. Additionally, each time a lich tears their soul to animate a new body, there is a small, unavoidable amount of collateral damage to the soul's integrity.

The magic used to animate constructs is similar to the magic used to create undead, though unlike necromancy, it does not utilize negative energy. In much the same way, the caster imbues the target with intent and magical energy to amplify, direct, and focus the divine energy inherent to the materials it is made out of. Any object can be animated as a construct, depending on the spellcaster's own power and skill, but objects specifically created to be animated as constructs retain the magic more easily as their inherent intent lines up more cleanly to the magical intent imbued. For example, a solid stone statue of a humanoid can be animated to move like a person, however, being made of rigid stone, it would be burning magic constantly to force the material to be flexible, contrary to its nature. On the other hand, a construct with joints that can bend easily would use much less energy to do the same thing. The use of mechanical parts, such as pistons, gears, and wheels, can make the energy use even more efficient, and some highly advanced construct designs can be animated indefinitely. Incorporating a secondary power source, such as steam, can make it much less magically taxing to animate a construct, as the construct can rely partially on the forces generated to move itself around, rather than needing to use mana to do so.

To create a sentient construct, simple animation is not enough - one has to magically create a soul to do so. Forming an entity, a concept of self, out of nothing but magic is extremely complicated and very, very difficult. It's not impossible, but fully sentient constructs are very rare, and practically unheard of in many places. Most constructs are simply animated without will of their own beyond a desire to fulfill their creator's commands.

Damage or wear on a construct forces it to consume more energy just to remain animated, which is why constructs disanimate when sufficiently damaged. However, some constructs are capable of entering a dormant state when damaged nearly to the point of disanimation, and remaining in that state indefinitely until repaired, or until natural wear finishes the job.

A construct that has fully disanimated, especially sentient ones or ones that once had very powerful magic animating them, have strong intent imbued into their materials, much like a dead body does. However, being inorganic, they cannot rise as undead- instead, it's highly possible for them to become mimics, with certain caveats. Usually this only occurs when the magical animation force of a construct has been depleted or been dispelled, leaving the body intact but inanimate. Constructs that are destroyed by damage cannot become mimics, the same way a splinter of a chair cannot become a mimic on its own- the object must be intact enough to retain its intent in order to become a mimic. Mimic constructs can be very dangerous and very quick to anger- the intent of the construct is to be an active construct, and when you see a disanimated construct, you usually recognize it as disanimate, causing painful dissonance to a mimic.  Pseudomimic constructs are purely theoretical, their existence unproven- the conditions required to both disanimate it and create a pseudomimic overlap such that it's proved impossible to do intentionally. That said, there are stories of well-loved constructs that have spontaneously reanimated after losing power, or remained active long after they should have run out of power…

[hackersandslackers]

Dealing with Dirty Data

Adventures in Excel

In my last post, we discussed how what separates a true analyst (read: technical) from a project manager wearing the mask of an analyst like some Scott Snyder era Joker (I figure that there's a solid overlap between fans of comic books and fans of the real world application of data. Note that this is a study with an N = 1 so it bares no statistical significance, but I have a funny feeling...call it spidey sense). Full disclosure, this post comes mostly out of my inability to sleep in my hotel room in Chicago following a grueling day of doing the very things I discuss in this blog, and preceding a day where I'll have to literally explain my last post to the suits, but perhaps this is the best mindset to begin discussing the myriad ways in which you may encounter dirty data in the wild, and how a savvy analyst may pivot and match their way around it. However, if my prose isn't as on point as you have grown accustomed...blame it on the 4AM haze. Alas, let's begin by discussing the organizational structure of the majority of corporate entities that leverage data to some degree (note, this isn't all corporations...and what does that say about the state of business?) and how, at each step of abstraction in this process that you are from the data, the data gets dirtier and dirtier. Essentially, there's always going to be a group of about 5-10 fewer-than-necessary legitimately skilled data scientists and/or computer programmers/DBAs who are really solid at building and maintaining a database as well as and some sort of compiling language (nowadays, that's probably python, but not exclusively, nor does this matter). However, depending on your industry (unless of course your industry IS data), it's nearly impossible to recruit people who have these skills to the level necessary AND have some familiarity with why this data is needed, and/or the ability to explain how the internal products that they build can be used by an end user. As such, this team has their own project manager(s) who's sole job is to keep these guys from developing a sentient AI that's sole goal is the annihilation of unfolded laundry...when your industry is healthcare. This team should also have at least one analyst who will take the raw code base and do the first step of translation to a more user friendly form. This generally takes shape as either dashboards in a system like Tableau, or if your company has a group of particularly strong data/business analysts (or particularly weak programmers) an interface written in plain(enough) English on a Business Intelligence platform such as Microsoft BI/SAP Business Objects or whatever other system your company utilizes. As a fun little note, this team ALMOST ALWAYS is referred to by some sort of acronym such as QDAR! (Quality data and reporting!) or KMnR! (Knowledge management and reporting!) or Those Fucking Guys (who have something to do with data) (TFG(whstdwd)). On a less fun little note...neither you, nor seemingly ANYONE ELSE will have contact with this team. In light of this information, how do the reports that they build get chosen or who decides how these databases are built? The world may never know. So let's assume the first type of reporting: the Dataratti (which is how I will refer to the acronym defined team described above moving forward) produces dashboards utilizing a tool such as Tableau or Crystal Reports. You may be thinking to yourself: "hey, isn't my job taking the data and putting it in a form where people who are scared by more than two nested groups of parenthesis, and thus this renders my job unnecessary?" The answer to the question is twofold: Yes, and of course not! As mentioned previously, the decision to create these dashboards, the data contained therein, and how you want them to look is decided upon by a mythical creature who has full access and understanding of the data warehouse, AND has full access to and understanding of the stakeholders (AKA, Those Who Sit Above in Shadow ; that's a reference from a famous run of Thor comics that refers to to a mysterious cabal of gods who perpetuate the cycle of Ragnarok in order to subsist upon the energies created by this strife...which as I write this, is an almost disgustingly on-the-nose metaphor for upper management). Now, if you believe that you may be this mythical creature (as I do), I DARE you to apply for a job with this job description, and once you clinch it with the advice from this blog, rapidly realize that your job will involve either one of these job duties or the other. With that digression, even if somehow a useful dashboard for YOU is created, the limitations inherent in these dashboarding tools make one CRUCIAL issue omnipresent: one can only effectively illustrate up to 16 different variables at a time before the system breaks down (for example, Tableau's documentation specifically warns against this). So even if you have the nicest, most illustrative dashboards on the planet from the Dataratti, there is a nearly 100% chance that the information that you actually need will be scattered across 2-3 different dashboards...rendering the nice looking dashboards essentially useless for your purposes, and as previously stated, you have no contact with the Dataratti, nor do you have access to the underlying data from which these dashboards are created. So pop quiz hot shot, what DO you do? Well, mercifully, all of these dashboard tools allow an end user to download a "data dump" (our parlance for "a buncha numbers with headings"). Using Tableau as an example, one can download either a "crosstab" or a text file of the data represented by the dashboard (in both "summary" and "full data" format). Now, just to get the truly gifted in Tableau off my back, yes, the functionality does exist to build in the ability to download the data in the exact format necessary for your needs through a specific combination of custom web server views and Javascript, but... If the users of the dash are exclusively using this function, why do the dashboard at all? And... This forces the developers in the Dataratti to have decent web design skills on top of really high level Tableau skills, and it requires someone to anticipate exactly how the data will be used by the end user by the Dataratti (which is incredibly hard as it's impossible to speak to this department directly, and as previously stated, the lack of this knowledge on their end is the entire reason why my department exists). A few things to note before downloading data from Tableau: You must highlight at least one element of the dashboard before downloading a crosstab. Depending on what kind of dashboard you're working with, you may need to highlight the entirety of one column in order to capture the entirety of your data (click the first element in any column and then scroll down to the bottom of the report...which may be enormously long, hit shift and click the last element in the report) before downloading either the data or the crosstab. If you are downloading a crosstab, be wary, Tableau web server caps how many rows you can download in this method at a time, this can be avoided by downloading the text version of the data (by clicking data as opposed to crosstab). HOWEVER... If you are going the data route, it defaults to summary view. Look over all the headings, and ensure that this covers everything you need, otherwise click "full data" . Interestingly, this still isn't actually the entirety of your data, and continue to check to make sure all of your headings are covered, otherwise, click the display all columns box, and then download all the rows as a text file. Now, repeat these steps until all of the data that you need in your report is contained across these text files (.csv, AKA the Comma Separated Value file type). With all that lunacy completed, you now have several sheets with some common columns, but all with different information; only some of which you need, so what do you think you do? Simple, you use the tools given to you in the previous posts: you lookup on the common factors across the sheets and return the data that you want until you have all the data you need, in the correct order, on one sheet, and then depending on the ask, you may want to pivot that data out in order to summarize the whole mess of data. THIS IS YOUR FINAL PRODUCT well done. Another protip: if you want to reposition data that you've obtained via a lookup, highlight the whole column, hit control+C to copy the data and then hit control+V pause a second (press NOTHING else) and then press control FOLLOWED by V . This takes the values generated by a formula and replaces them with the values obtained. Functionally, this looks exactly the same, but now you can move the data around without affecting or being affected by other data. As explaining only one possible dirty data scenario took over 1500 words, next time, we'll discuss the other most common form of taking the dirty data from the Dataratti and making it useful to you: using business intelligence portals as opposed to dashboards in order to grab the data that you need. Also, if I don't get roasted on a spit for being half asleep for tomorrow's (today's?) meeting, I'll try and write up a companion post with an example of how this works out in practice. In summary, in this post we've learned: How data is generally siloed and sequestered within the corporate environment, leading to a bevy of unnecessary steps on behalf of the analyst in order to distill a functional report for the powers-that-be Two major methods in which data comes from the data team (henceforth known as the Dataratti) to your team: Dashboards and Business Intelligence interfaces, and... Assuming you get data in the form of dashboards, how to take these dashboards, download the underlying data, recombine and manipulate the data, and package it in a way acceptable for your needs. Congrats, you've just learned the crucial skill of the Slice n' Dice ! Quite sleepily, -Snacks

- Max Mileaf

[for-peace-war]

Defining the Beast

Outlook:  Within our Vampire: the Masquerade lore often we are forced to play fast and loose with the Beast.  While the concept is a nebulous and predatory concept, I would like to (for my games at the very least) define the nature of the Beast and exactly how it might be qualified systematically.  Once more, this is not an overall ruling for the entirety of the Liberty x Undeath continuity, but it is how I will be addressing it.

The Beast

What exactly the Beast is remains something of a mystery to Cainites and hunters alike.  Some allege that it is the vestiges of humanity, warped and corrupted as the creatures that once themselves were men, while others state that it is in itself the most pure and natural part of the human existence.  Whatever it may be, this supernatural entity is a semi-sentient force, concerned neither with morality nor integrity, and focuses only upon one motivator: survival.  It has been called the “dark passenger” by some or the “voice of the devil” by others, but just as likely as it is to see a man kill another, so too would it have one flee to safety if such proved opportune.

With this in mind, let us consider what the value of the Beast actually is.

The Beast Within

The Beast is almost certainly the manner through which kindred/Cainites are able to manipulate the world about them with their vampiric disciplines.  This window into something supernatural can be opened by ghouls with great effort, but to the vampire it is a manifestation of the bloodline/heredity that the vampire’s lineage most strongly represents.  This “genetic” component permits various abilities to activate.  

But more importantly, the Beast is as much a symbiotic presence as it is a parasitic one, according to some.  True, it demands that the host feed in a particular way, but in the interest of protecting itself it will respond aggressively or defensively to the presence of another’s “encroachment” upon its territory.

This, above all else, is why the Beast is such a difficult concept to tackle.  It also provides benefits to those that are as removed from their humanity as possible -- with a dangerous caveat depending on the depth taken.

The Beast and You

On the Scale of Humanity

“Humanity,” that which has been defined as a person’s morality, is in truth a matter of scaling between “the Divine” and “the Profane” where the divine is recognized as that which exceeds the limits of human awareness and the profane is that which speaks to the basest aspects of survival.  Not surprisingly, the Beast is the profane on this scale and Divinity is nigh unattainable.

Most humans exist between 7-6 on this scale.  A “bad” person, divorced from serial killing, mass rape, or happenstance cannibalism will likely not fall far from this range.  The reason for this is that humanity is inherently flawed and as such, flaws do not strip one of their inherent humanity.

That being said, there are those that do shift the scale.  Those that fall lower on  the scale unsettle those around them in the way that a dog, unchained and unknown, might awaken some visceral fear as it eyes a person unaware of its nature.   Conversely, those that are above the baseline set others at ease, as though their very presence is a sort of balm against the worries of the world.  This calming nature conveys benefits that will make (most) people trust them more readily.

10: +3 on social interactions. 

9: +2 on social interactions.

8: +1 on social interactions.

7-6: +0 on social interactions.

5: -1 on social interactions.

4: -2 on social interactions.

3: -3 on social interactions.

2: -4 on social interactions.

1: -5 on social interactions.

0: All social interactions becomes >10, rather than >8.

Of course, the Beast is not entirely without some defense against this.  Merits such as “Predatory Allure (3 dots)” permit a person to turn that feeling of unease into a disquieting sense of arousal.  After all, there are multitudes of people that cannot help but find something exciting and arousing about serial killers and mass murderers.  That being said, it is the exception that proves the rule, not at all a speech against the natural impulse of a person to pull away from those that frighten them.

But there is more to this conundrum than merely how a person interacts socially.  The Beast has its benefits to those lower within the realm of humanity -- for those that linger just shy of accepting what they truly are.

The Benefits of the Beast

In addition to merits such as predatory allure (which will remove the penalty on any humanity score and add a >9 again with the caveat that a failure immediately imposes the penalties once more), the Beast has a visceral reaction to things that challenge it.

There are many disciplines that are almost unnoticeable: Majesty, Obfuscate, Auspex, and many Thaumaturgical Paths (such as Path of Corruption) leave practically no sign that there is a trespass being committed.  With this in mind, players often react out of character to his with little explanation in-character.  A person “knows to spend a will” to avoid the effects of Majesty, but why?

This is where defining the Beast comes into effect.

In VTR the Beast has gained particular traits that allow it to compete with others.  In my games, this concept will be borrowed for the sake of consistency.  When a vampire attempts to use Majesty, the Beast may detect that something is manipulating it and lash back out.  This is where the benefits come in.

Starting at 3 humanity, a boon is granted when challenging the unseen presence of another.  All vampires are able to be defended by their beast, but at that level of lowered humanity the Beast now practically whispers a growling need in the ear of its host and demands satisfaction when influenced.

The following scale indicates what occurs when “lashing out” occurs against a foe.

10-4: The vampire gains no bonus when using will, but can lash out.  The Beast is aware of what is happening, but they are not.

3: +1 is gained when a will is used to break a discipline.

2: +2 is gained when a will is used to break a discipline.

1: +3 is gained when a will is used to break a discipline.

0: You are the Beast.  As such, rote is gained when an attempt is made to break free of being controlled.

This means that a vampire at 1 humanity (or on a path but lowly situated) will have a much higher chance of shrugging off the mental manipulation of another.  It is a definitive benefit to those that dive down the path of darkness within, though there is a heavy price to pay for this as well.

Note: At 1-3 humanity, the vampire may make a roll of occult+humanity to determine exactly what is happening to inspire their Beast to react so aggressively.  A failure, however, will force a anger frenzy that will last for a number of turns equivalent to the number of dice rolled as the Beast seeks to avenge itself in whatever means it can. No one is safe in this state if they are in the way of the rampaging vampire.

The Beast’s Bane

It is the notion of frenzy that causes this gambit to be a dangerous one to attempt.  As a person that is lower on the scale of humanity is closer to the thrall of the Beast, they will also be able to fall more readily into its clutches.  Much as above, these penalties apply only to those that have fallen to the third step in humanity.

3: -1 against frenzy.

2: -2 against frenzy.

1: -3 against frenzy.

0: Always frenzying.

Keep this in mind: this applies to both hunger and anger frenzies.  Additionally, a vampire that is at this stage of humanity will not be allowed to use a will to break their frenzy.  The danger of riding this close to the Beast is that the person one was is consumed by what they are becoming.

Additionally, those that are lower on the scale will experience longer frenzies.   To standardize the nature of a frenzy, two things will be taken into account:

Is the object causing the Frenzy still present.

Does the Beast have a great deal of control?

In the case of the former, a frenzy will remain active so long as there is line-of-sight on that which causes the problem.  If a fear frenzy is encouraged by fire, for example, so long as the vampire can see the fire they will remain terrified. This will cause them to sprint away from the target as much as they can.  Note, if something obstructs their path or attempts to manipulate them in this state, they may immediately enter an anger frenzy.  This will be determined by a roll of the following:

10: 1d10>10!

9: 2d10>10!

8: 3d10>10!

7: 4d10>10!

6: 5d10>10!

5: 6d10>10!

4: 7d10>10!

3: 8d10>10!

2: 9d10>10!

1: 10d10>10!

As you can see, a person that is in the clutches of the Beast is more likely to enter an anger frenzy than someone that is not.

This control factor is what is discussed in the second part: how much control does the Beast have?  Frenzy will remain for a number of turns equal to the following, if the threat has been removed:

10: 1 turn.

9: 2 turns.

8: 3 turns.

7: 4 turns.

6: 5 turns.

5: 6 turns.

4: 7 turns.

3: 8 turns.

2: 9 turns.

1: 10 turns.

This can be broken with a roll of humanity, but this will cause any following frenzy roll to be made as though on humanity lower.  Additionally, the turn will be consumed in wrestling control back.   A will must be expended to make this chance.

So What does this Mean in the End?

Ultimately, not a lot.  The Beast has always been a figure of primordial intent, but now it is being defined as something that will have definitive responses to perceived motives.  Keep in mind, those with a low humanity will be able to determine things that those with high humanity can’t, but the price is very high indeed.  At 0 humanity, a player is effectively killed as they have entered their final wassail and will become a Wight.  

Try to keep this in mind when playing toward the higher or lower end of the spectrum.  Higher humanity will almost never consider the Beast and but feel the faintest tugs from it, while lower may constantly feel its growling demands in their ear to feed and fight.  Ultimately, this falls to the player.

With a single caveat to be added.

Paths!

A path of enlightenment is a means by which vampires are able to redefine the philosophy of self to “control” the Beast. Excluding the Path of the Beast (which is more about becoming it), these all deal with an alien view of reality that permits functionality in a world that would otherwise force moral quandaries.

Paths will function as has been stated above, because a low path is still close to the Beast while a high one is not.   Keep in mind, you will need to hit humanity 3 before you are divorced enough from humanity to begin embracing one of these view points.

[chaos-in-pandoras-box]

Spirit Keeping Basics (according to Chaos in Pandora’s Box)

What is Spirit Keeping/ Companionship? ~Spirit keeping, or Spirit Companionship, as we prefer to put it, is the act of creating a link between a human being and an astral being or spirit so that the two can interact on a frequent basis. This is done through conjuration (the summoning of spirits) and binding (the act of creating ethereal ties between the companion and their spirits.) The spirits cover a wide range of beings. Basically, if it's been imagined, it's in the astral, to some extent. All those creatures you've been told are just your imagination? Yeah, they're totally real.  You're not crazy for believing in them. What is a vessel? ~For those of you new to the concept of spirit keeping, you may be wondering what the heck a "vessel" is. Well, in short terms, a vessel is an object that's used to link the human companion's energies with their spiritual friend's energies. It's not a prison, as some people would have you believe, nor is it the only way to interact with a spirit companion. Any legitimate conjurer would never dream of imprisoning a spirit in an object. A vessel is a conduit, nothing more and nothing less. Now, as to what a vessel can be, the limit is your imagination! I've seen paintings used, as well as dolls, jewelry (most common). gemstones, writing utensils, power tools, you name it, it can be a vessel. The only thing not recommended for use as a vessel is food, because it's perishable and won't last very long. What does "binding" mean? ~This is something important to discuss, because there's a lot of negativity surrounding this word in the Spirit Keeping community. Many people think the work "binding" automatically means "slavery" and this is not the case with reputable sellers. I have covered this in a forum post, but I'll recap here. A binding is the forming of an energetic tie from one energy source to another. (In the most basic definition) It's done with full consent of the parties (purchasing a spirit binding implies consent on the part of the human companion) Bindings often include safeguards for both the human and the spirit or entity. There are certain rules implied, but they vary from conjurer to conjurer. At the core, a binding will ensure that the spirit or entity is never able to harm their keeper, directly or indirectly. How do I bond with my spirits? ~There are countless ways to welcome a new companion into your home. We recommend finding some quiet time where you can be alone. Hold the spirit's vessel in one hand, close your eyes, and call their name a few times. Pay close attention to your body and the atmosphere around you. What changes? Even the most subtle changes can be your spirit manifesting. When you're first starting out we recommend that you take anything out of the ordinary as a sign from your spirit. Keep these observations close to your heart, write them down, and gradually you'll learn the difference between "Oh, that was just an everyday freak happening" and "Oh! It was a sign from my companion." Sometimes announcing a manifestation to the world can spoil its sacredness. Make sure you have permission from your companion before sharing it. As far as offerings go, you can give them to your spirit as often or infrequently as you choose. It's polite to give them some sort of offering if you're tasking them to do something, because that's an energy exchange. Put yourself in their shoes. What do you think they'd like to have as a small gift? You can just set the offering near their vessel for a few hours. If it's food, you can either eat it afterwards, or throw it away. (Up to you.) If it's crystals you can recharge the crystals and use them again. Waste not, want not! And don't be afraid to get creative. Write letters, listen to music they like, invite them into your everyday lives. I can't feel my spirit. What should I do? ~This one, as I'm sure you can imagine, comes up A LOT. Number one: DO NOT FREAK OUT. Spirits move back and forth between their realms and ours frequently. They may have just popped off to their realm for a bit. However, it's also important to remember that these beings are sentient energies, and as such they all have personalities just as diverse and varied as humans. Some are quiet and prefer keeping to themselves, whereas others are social butterflies and will floor you with their manifestations. It is easy to lose hope if you can no longer feel a companion. Believe me I've been there, I know. When I first started buying vessels from other sellers, I had a complete blackout in communication. One week I could feel them as strongly as ever, and then a week with nada. Not even a twitch. And I stayed on this roller coaster for a while. Full communication, blackout. Full communication, blackout. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was going on. Then I started to notice a pattern. During each blackout, I had something else going on in my life that I should have been paying attention to. My emotions were out of balance and were creating major blockages. So if you're experiencing a blackout, it's time to look away from your companions and work on yourself. They won't get upset, they won't get exasperated, and they won't hate you for taking a break. Matter of fact, I've had more than one spirit tell me I'm too hard on myself. So in short, don't panic if you're feeling a blackout. If you felt something at the start, then never fear, it is there. They will come back stronger, provided you work on yourself first. Do I need to open my third eye more? ~Short answer: No...and yes. Long answer: Your chakras are a bit more complex than you think. When people refer to the "third eye," usually they're referring to the psychically sensitive space between your eyes and a little above your nose. Just like many other points on our body it is a chakra space, and one that is attuned to psychic vibrations. However, strengthening your third eye chakra can throw your other chakras out of whack. As with everything else, there needs to be a balance. So all those "third eye" improvement spells and attunements? I personally haven't had one work for me unless is strengthens the other chakras at the same time. Now I know there may be some controversy surrounding this post, so I'd like to remind you all that this is my opinion, not the gospel truth  Instead of focusing JUST on your third eye, why not raise the vibrations of all your chakras? What if I've been spiritually deaf all my life? Can I still keep companions? ~In short: Yes. You may hear of many people who have been sensitive to spirits most of their lives coming into the spirit keeping community, but there are those who haven't even believed in spirits before joining the community as well. Truth be told, we all sort of start over when we join this community. For those of us that have interacted with unbounds most of our lives, the concept of binding may be new. Or it may not. It all depends on the individual. If you've been "spiritually deaf" for most of your life, you may just have to work a little harder for what comes naturally to some other keepers. But the fact that you're here in this community and have a strong desire to learn speaks volumes. If you are ready and willing, you will find yourself opening up to possibilities you'd never thought of before. And don't be afraid to reach out to others who have been "spiritually deaf" when they first started out. You never have to feel alone. I've seen this especially with those very new to Spirit Keeping. They want everything to be a manifestation, so it is. But then the day after nothing out of the ordinary happens, so they complain. This roller coaster is pretty common when someone first starts out. What people need to remember as well is that everything moves in cycles. Their spirits may have spend a ton of energy one day to manifest, and the next day they're recovering. The problem is with people posting like that, they lack the patience to work with their spirits long term. They have to realize that there may be times of a blackout in communication, and that's okay. It's normal. What they shouldn't do is freak out about it. What's the difference between spirits, entities, thoughtforms, and servitors? ~There's not a lot of decisive information on this matter, but here's how we classify these different beings: Thoughtforms are collections of energy that our subconscious creates when we use our imagination. They can be sentient or non-sentient. Beings like Slenderman, Jeff the Killer, and the Doctor are all examples of thoughtforms, born from someone's imagination. They're usually short lived unless they're fed from multiple sources. Spirits, on the other hand, are the energy left behind after an entity dies and their soul moves onto the next life. All of their thoughts and energies remain behind, forming the Spirit of who they were during their life. They still have ties to the Soul, or the core of their being. They're like echoes. Servitors are sentient or nonsentient thoughtforms that are deliberately created by someone (usually a practitioner) to fulfill a specific purpose. They can look like anything, from a small butterfly to your favorite pokemon, an anime girl or boy, any TV character, and anything in between. Finally, entities are beings that live on a different plane than humans do, but they're still living and active as we humans are. What manifestations can I expect from my spirits? ~This is a big subject when people are getting into spirit keeping, because of course everyone wants tangible proof that their spirits do in fact exist and they're not just imagining things. But where to start? What to look for? This is the time when most people either give up keeping altogether, or despair because they think they aren't "advanced" enough to experience their spirits fully. This is a tricky business, because everyone walks the razor's edge with manifestations. On the one side there is the true manifestations of the spirits, and on the other side is the imagined signs of spirits that our minds conjure up. So how do we walk this fine line? Number one, confirm any manifestations you think you receive through different methods of divination. Tarot, pendulum, spirit boards, bibliomancy, and so on. If you still doubt yourself, feel free to ask the conjurer or another trusted professional for advice. And my biggest advice for this? Remove yourself emotionally from the situation. If you cannot approach manifestations with calm logic and are emotionally charged, that's when a lot of people trip. If you want something to happen badly enough, you can make it happen. However, that may not be your spirits, it might just be you. That's why I encourage you to check different sources for your answers. So when you experience something, ask yourself if you were looking for a manifestation at the time or wanted something to happen. Most of the physical manifestations I experience happen when I'm not expecting them. Why? I don't know yet, I just know that that's my experience. Now, onto what to look for in manifestations. Honestly, they can be just about anything. A general list may be orbs, streaks of unexplained light, dark shadows flickering in the corner of your vision, thoughts that seem out of character for you, cravings for things you don't normally enjoy, a certain color you keep noticing everywhere, numbers that repeat themselves, words that repeat themselves, things in nature that look slightly out of place, the way frost creeps over a window, temperature changes around your body or the spirit's vessel, etc etc. You get the idea  And as to the repeating colors, words, or numbers, I'll share my personal experiences there. I almost never notice the repeat the first couple of times. It takes a bit for my slow brain to catch up, but if something keeps popping up more than three or four times, I know it's a sign. When first starting out, I wouldn't recommend expecting fireworks. Even with more advanced keepers I know of only a select few who have experienced a full on physical manifestation. If you keep looking for the big bang manifestations, you might be missing all the tiny cues that happen around you every day. How can I conjure? ~Number one: Belief. It's my personally held belief that everyone starts out knowing how to conjure. When we're young, we have "imaginary" friends and so on, but as we grow up society smashes that ability and we lose the confidence in ourselves to keep those friends close. If you want to be able to conjure, step one is to actually believe you can do it. If you doubt spirit keeping or if you doubt yourself, I wouldn't recommend setting foot on this path. Number two: Research. Ask other sellers how they started. Ask them if they have tips. Look into the different styles of conjuring. Take classes if they're offered. Learn everything you can about the subject. Now keep in mind sellers may not share their methods with you, and that's okay. People tend to keep their methods private to keep others from stealing their ideas. Number Three: Figure out your style. Do you like big, flashy rituals or the simple, quiet ones? Will you speak aloud or do everything silently? What protection will you have in place? How will you be able to tell the difference between a trickster and a genuine spirit? What sort of circle will you draw? Will you have candles, incense, and all the bells and whistles, or something simpler? Number Four: Did I mention PRACTICE? Probably the most important part of conjuring is to practice. Whatever your method is, repeat it over and over. If you don't have anything at first, keep trying. Now these are all basic steps that could be applied to anything, really. If you truly wish to learn to conjure, I'd recommend first and foremost to talk to a trusted professional. Learn from their mistakes. Find your individual style. And this is going to sound like a sex ad, but ALWAYS USE PROTECTION! Never ever, under any circumstances, conjure without wards and protections in place. Doing this would invite in chaos that I'm pretty sure most people wouldn't be equipped to deal with. And that's another thing; don't get in over your head. Don't start out conjuring all those sexy demons you see in the shops just because they appeal to you. Conjure what works best with your energies. It may be an angel, it may be a demon, it may be a shifter, etc etc. You know what's best for you in the end. Don't conjure just because you want a certain spirit. You may end up with more than you can handle. What should I ask a seller to see if they're reputable/ethical or not? ~The Meta world is full of minefields. People telling you to do this or that, people telling you to buy this or that. It's understandable why a lot of new people get totally confused. I've seen people get so paranoid that they shun anything from the Para world because there's just too much of a risk that they'll get cheated out of something. And then there are those that get burned time and time again because they stumble into the dishonest sellers. So...how are they supposed to protect themselves? Well, I'm not an expert, but I have seen a few trends that I can speak out about. 1. Prices are not an indicator of skill. This is a big one that I think trips a lot of people up. Almost everything from conjurers is self-priced. There's no "standard" that anyone has to hold up to, because each working is different. However, there's some common sense to keep in mind-Just because a seller's prices are low doesn't mean that they're not reputable or legitimate. On the opposite end, just because a seller's prices are through the roof doesn't mean they're any more legitimate than someone with low prices. Matter of fact, from what I've seen many of the higher-priced conjures have had some not-so-impressive results. But anyway, my point is this: don't panic if you see quite the price difference between sellers. There's many different things to take into account: The cost of the vessel itself, the amount of energy and work that goes into the conjuration and binding of a spirit or entity, shipping, and so on. And it's also important to look at whether conjuring is the person's only source of income. If it is, then their prices may be a little higher because they're using the money to support themselves. Those that have other jobs can perhaps afford to have their prices a little lower. (Mind you, this is a general statement and may not be true for everyone.) 2. A conjurer/seller is not validated by anything they say. They are validated by their customers. I don't care if they've had ten years' experience or ten days. Here's a saying I live by: Results matter. Someone can have all the experience in the world and even they may slip up from time to time. Or a newbie could do everything right from the word "Go." The important thing to do here is pay attention to your gut. Does a seller's bragging about their experience put you off? Does someone's bashing of a seller intrigue you? Intuition doesn't lie. People may misinterpret it from time to time and come to an incorrect conclusion, but I like to think that it never lies. 3. Of course, both the above points lead to this one: Ask questions of the seller. If you're looking at someone new, pepper them with questions. If they answer you readily, and their answers are verified by others, pretty sure it's safe to say that that's a green light. If they stall or give you answers that don't seem to jive with what you've read about them, then something's up. Here's a few questions you can ask sellers: What does your binding consist of? (Now keep in mind they may not answer fully, because each conjurer prefers to keep some secrets close, but they should be able to get you a general idea of what they do.) How do you conjure/What are the protections you put in place to make sure that you're conjuring the right spirit? (Again they may not share everything, but they should be able to give you a general idea) When did you conjure your first spirit? What was it like? Which Arts do you work with the most? White, Grey, Dark, or Black? What are some safeguards you have in place to buffer the Companion from their spirit if they're feeling overwhelmed? What is your return policy for a spirit and Companion that just doesn't connect well on an energetic level? And this is a big one: What do you think of other sellers? (You can name specific sellers here, or just leave it general.) This question will give you a feel for the conjurer's personality. Have you had issues with customers in the past concerning your conjures? How did you resolve the issue? Can I follow up with you after I purchase a binding/How available are you after our transaction is completed? If anyone else thinks of some other questions, let me know.  My point here being, for the newbies at least, is don't be afraid to ask questions. If a conjurer doesn't get back to you right away, ask anyone here. A lot of us have been around the block a few times, and we've seen conjurers and shops come and go. (All information was compiled from the Newbie Station on MetaSpirit and is originally Pandora's.)

[enddaysengine]

Spirits (Chronicles of Darkness)

The word "spirit" can mean a lot of things. Enthusiasm, ghost, soul, and vital energy are all valid interpretations, and they all have something to do with the spirits of Chronicles of Darkness. In Chronicles, spirits are part of a broad class of creatures known as ephemeral entities. These entities are intangible and incorporeal creatures, not dissimilar from the classic conception of a ghost. Worth noting though is that in Chronicles, ghosts and spirits are two very different categories of supernatural beings.

Spirits are the animate essence of both living and non-living objects. This concept is probably somewhat familiar because it is the defining feature of animistic religions and worldviews across the entire planet. There are spirits of rocks, trees, doves, spiders, swamps, mountains, mud, and clouds. Spirits inhabit humanmade objects as well; there are spirits in swords, phones, cars, buildings, airplanes, books, telephone wires, and tablets. Spirits don't have to be physical either. Spirits of rage, healing, cancer, death, religion, spite, joy,  revolution, and time are all entirely valid as well.

Also worth considering is that spirits cover a massive range of power levels. Chronicles of Darkness has always been a bit cagey about whether the gods humans worship really exist. We know the God-Machine is out, and it certainly has the power to back up its claims of being a deity... but it could just be a transcendent alien program that understands reality on a level we don't. Spirts are the same way. The most powerful spirts, like Luna, the spirit of the freaking moon, is powerful enough that for all practical purposes, she's a god. And it is worth noting that the same concept can be served by multiple spirits. In Luna’s case, she is the great spirit of the Moon, while there are many other weaker spirits called Lunes that also serve her. Some spirits, like the one inside your newly bought chair, especially if it was mass produced furniture, is likely going to be little more than a seed. 

I used the word seed intentionally because spirits are fundamentally about growth and hunger. Even spirits of decay and stagnation. Events and objects in the material world create ephemeral energy known as Essence. Spirits require Essence to survive, but Essence also comes in various types depending on led to its creation. Various spirits need various kinds of Essence to survive, so spirits often will endeavour to influence humans to create their particular brand Essence. That can lead to spirits having very alien mindsets. One healing spirit may be content to hang around a hospital and syphon up the latent healing essence all around it, but a more active healing spirit may endeavour to start a gang war or detonate a bomb so that there are more people in the local area to be healed. The more Essence as spirit consumes and the more influential it becomes in a local region, the more it powerful the spirit becomes. Theoretically, that chair spirit that starts off as a non-sentient spiritual seed could grow to become as mighty as Luna. It isn't likely to happen, but then again, if you decide to make a Chronicle based on Game of Thrones, the spirit of the Iron Throne would not be someone you would get in a fight with lightly.

The politics of spirits are complicated. Light-Always-Shining dominates the local hierarchy of Las Vegas' spiritual landscape, supported by various electricity, money, and vice spirits. Always-Shining's biggest rival is Desert Starlight, who can barely enter the urban landscape due to the light pollution. Now the various astronomical light spirits of the Mojave Desert have allied with their nominal enemies, the darkness spirits and storm spirits, in a bit unseat Light-Always-Shining by knocking out Vegas' power supply.

The Iron Horses, or Anfarsisu, are the spirits of trains. While these metal snake-horse chimaeras were once powerful lords of the transportation spirits, newer, more innovative vehicles have created spirits that have taken their lordship away. That said, even the least of the Anfarsisu are mighty spirits with ancient memories. With the proper combination of flattery and bribes, an Iron Horse could be convinced to provide information from a far away place, reveal a secret from the age of rail, or teach magic to move between locations quickly.

People talk about the holidays bringing out their Christmas Spirit, but religious festivals really do bring out the spirits. Many spirits have awoken seasonally for centuries, but Nutcracker spirits seem to become more common each year since the 1892 debut of Tchaikovsky's play. Every year, they come out of hibernation for a month or two to encourage the spirits of music and dance, and to slaughter the spirits of rodents. This can form a defensive spiritual barrier around households in the winter, but it can also wreak havoc with the spiritual landscape.

Notes: I've been meaning to do this one for a long time! It seemed appropriate, since the Dark Eras 2 Kickstarter just funded, and one of the eras I'm looking forward to is the Werewolf Era during WWI, which promises to show how the Great War wrecked havoc with the spirits of France, Belgium, and Germany.

Speaking of Dark Eras 2, all of the Second Edition core rulebooks are available as add-ons to the Kickstarter for $10, which is about half their usual price. Even if you aren't interested in the Kickstarter, you can pledge $10 for any of them without selecting a reward Tier in order to get the PDF on the cheap.

Dave Allsop and Steve Prescott are two of your best bets for spirit art. Both contributed heavily to the first edition of Werewolf: the Forsaken, and I’ve used a couple of Dave’s pieces above.