#liveblogs from beyond

[gideonisms]

nge is one of many shows in which the way women are portrayed gives me like a soul deep cringe however unlike many of the other shows that inspire this feeling I do think there's something interesting being explored there, genderwise. Like I don't think misato's complete focus on her father is actually an accident or that ritsuko's desperate need to be of use to gendo even though he despises her is an accident. Those things are paralleled with other situations in the narrative and taken together with the way gendo and eventually shinji treat rei and asuka I do think there is a point to all of it. but my god each one of these women would be justified to crush most of the men in their lives with a giant robot if they wanted

[mauvecardigans]

three eps into smallville s3 and honestly? bring back the kal-el hair

[arthursfuckinghat]

"Thank you"

[stars-and-branches]

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s7 episode 4 "millennium" thoughts

hehehehhe. hehe. i have seen The gif from this episode. i am so excited to learn its context!!!

wow... everyone say thank you very much to mulder and scully for preventing y2k ❤️

i have heard much about the concepts behind the proposed y2k collapse, and they have never entirely made perfect sense to me, but i suppose you had to be there. and i was not. 

from reading the episode description, it seems that in this universe, the year 2000 turned people into zombies? hmm. much to ponder there.

the first two episodes of this season were eh, then the third was good but lacked mulder and scully, so i’m curious to see what this one brings, because i have heard a lot of s7 praise. so let’s see what it’s about!!

post-episode thoughts: rejoice!! a banger ep!!! it had zombies!! injured mulder!! scully with cool scars!! skinner worrying about his best agents!! mulder saying creepy stuff!! scully smiling!! and being a math geek!! and the thing that you know i am referring to vaguely!! a good episode, indeed! one that will be important to me, i can tell!

we open on a funeral in florida. i can’t tell if the dialogue is really quiet or if my laptop is malfunctioning. seems to just be quiet- thank goodness.

it doesn’t seem that mr. johnson here has ever met mrs. crouch, but he showed up at mr. crouch's funeral. he says he worked briefly with him. which doesn’t clear up much. and he leaves. so she is alone with the casket. 

oh, some other guy named raymond is here. he says he is at peace. and also it’s christmas, btw. 

why is mr. johnson lurking!!!! in this funeral home!!! he lifts up the lid to the casket and bro inside looks super dead. hey, i don’t like how mr. johnson is quoting the bible while stripping over a dead body. noooo, don’t take the dead guy’s clothes off too.

THE BONES CRACK??? what is he DOING?? STOP CRACKING HIM??? why is he calling someone on the phone………… and then he closes the casket. okay. didn’t like that. dead mr. crouch was really gray. more so than i feel he should be.

so mr. johnson stole the dead guy’s pin and now is watching, 4 days later, at the graveyard. he gets a call… is it the dead guy?? with the phone he gave him?? so he walks out with a shovel!!!!

omfg…. did they coordinate this pre-death… kinda badass, in a way. but also fucked up. because his wife was so sad!!!

intro was very short today!!! damn!! i nearly got whiplash!!

it’s december 30th, and scully is here. if she is in florida, i wonder why she is wearing a jacket. but she’s committed to the look above all else, i suppose. and she lifts the caution tape up herself. for shame! mulder, this is your sacred duty!

pretty scully…….

oh no, raymond the funeral home guy is trying to assure her that he did NOT bury a living man, as the rumors suggest!! also, dead mr. crouch was FBI, it seems? scully is confused LMAO. BAHAHAHAAA, WHAT WAS THAT FACE SHE MADE!! I’M CRYINGGGGG

(scully shouts into the hole) “mulder, have you been spreading rumors?” (mulder pops into frame at the bottom of the hole) “why? you hear any good ones lately?” LMAOOOO 

BAHAHA “not particularly” yeah. allegedly being buried alive does NOT impress her.

AWWW, he wishes her merry christmas, by the way. and she says thank you! and wishes him one as well. bet nothing can top last year, though.

oooo, it looks like someone was trapped in there, trying to get out, and the fingerprints on the casket match those of the dead man! mulder confirms that he is NOT the source of the rumors, but rather, they are coming from the police department. AND the fingerprints are on the headstone!! they're neon. is that an FBI tool used to highlight evidence, or did mr. crouch have nasty neon stuff on his hands when he returned from the dead...?

scully thinks the evidence was faked- she's not sure why, though. but they see what looks like a trail of blood on the grass nearby!!! ewww.

mr. johnson is somewhere else, quoting the bible again. uhhhh. some sort of zombie figure is rising up behind him as he drives into georgia.

hmm. back to the bureau.

agent crouch served for 21 years, retired, and was recently found dead. JESUS, that photo of his dead body was NASTY. y’all did NOT have to show all that... the fuck?!?!?!

skinner is here. and so are some other rando agents. mulder doesn’t think it’s a grave robbery- it was necromancy. the other agents seem uncomfy with this. spooooooky.

he claims the blood they found in the grass was from a goat, and it was used to draw a magic circle- but the rain washed most of it away. “the blood attracts the spirits of the undead, while the circle focuses the necromancer’s power while protecting him from the spirits that he’s conjuring” <- are y’all writing that down? ✍️ 

this rando dude’s faaaaaace.... he cannot believe what he is hearing 

ah, scully, (mostly) so even-keeled: “obviously, there are clear ritualistic elements to this crime. the question is: why were they directed at raymond crouch?” <- the perfect response!

ohhhh, skinner pulls them aside…. are they in trouble?!

“what if it looked something like this?” he shows them a picture of an ouroboros!!! so they are not in trouble, then!!! he must need them for a special task.

“the alchemists favored it”, mulder declares. sigh. i need that man.

but not as bad as i need scully in a turtleneck. fuuuuck.

skinner says it was the logo for the millennium group- who were former FBI agents who offered consulting services to law enforcement. hmm. that feels like it shouldn't be allowed.

but somehow, they got a bad reputation. maybe they were a cult. which of course, mulder has heard the rumors about!

the group dissolved a couple months ago- a likely time for them to go underground if they were based on the end of the millennium, no? skinner reveals he has info on 3 other grave desecrations!!!! all with former FBI agents!!! and all were recent suicides!! 

this is very SENSITIVE due to their ties to the bureau, so don’t be mean to him, mulder! he tasks them with investigating and keeping a low profile. mulder says he knows where to start.

they go to a psychiatric hospital in virgina. always a good place to begin. they’re here to see a criminal profiler that worked in the department before mulder did- allegedly the greatest they’ve ever produced! he checked himself in for a 30 day stay, but mulder says he used to consult for the millennium group. and later fought to bring them down. HMM… why do i feel like he’s gonna be dead when they get there?

mulder saying good morning to the guy muttering in the hallway…. he is a kind guy sometimes 💗

“single-minded. sounds like someone i know”, scully says <- don’t flirt in the mental hospital, y’all

they meet a guy named frank black, who to me looks like the undertaker from earlier, but maybe a lot of white men look the same in a way. he’s watching football. he does not seem to give a fuck. 

mulder knows his sports teams, though. trust that.

frank says he recognizes the pictures of the men they show him and then does not elaborate. i respect that. he doesn’t wanna chat. but scully must try and get more info, as this is her job.

frank does not want to help- he wants to put his life back together. he says no thank you. but they only have 2 days before the new year and more potential killings!!

“it’s first and ten. just let me watch this game in peace” “it’s THIRD and TEN. notre dame” “happy new year” “same to you” <- is he… saying something in football code?? mulder storms off and scully follows. he was MAD. said something about him being "not what i'd hoped", oooo boy, that's nasty work. frank pissed him off!

in maryland, mr. johnson is pulled over on the side of the road, fixing a flat. a cop stops him. but smells something very gross. and he sees flies…. what’s in the truck? oh, the cop knows something is up. and he starts chanting the same prayer. 

bleh. dead guy reveal! ahhh!! he keeps saying his words and the zombie bites the cop!!! and he was standing in a circle!!! to focus his power, i guess. 

mulder ponders this upon arriving at the crime scene. he found the salt circle. salt, not blood! scully points out this noticeable difference. mulder says it was to protect himself against “whatever it was that did that” (pan over to a lot of blood on the ground) hmm. gross!

a cop flags them over. run, agents! in your billowing coats!!! gag!!! they found a body!! with bite marks!!! 

EWWW... they pull something out of his mouth and the way the lips moved was NASTY. it is a paper with a bible verse written on it, and one of the cops knows exactly which one it is. “book of revelation, chapter one, verse 18” “go fighting irish” <- SO FRANK WAS SPEAKING IN FOOTBALL CODE!!! but to what end?!

they go back to visit frank, who is sipping his milk. “what are you afraid of?” 

HA! scully figures it out- she is so good at figuring things out. he’s in a custody battle and doesn’t want to lose rights to his daughter. they claimed he was an unfit father for being obsessed with conspiracy. he says they were right. so he will do anything they ask, but never mention the millennium group again.

i get his point, but also, they do need him to help out because people are dying, not for some frivolous reason, so maybe if he could make ONE exception, that could be cool.

mulder has gotten him to crack with a promise of secrecy. revelations, heaven and hell, a battle. the four deaths were those who believed, unlike the others in the millennium group, that man must take an active role in bringing about the end times. oooo, the four horsemen…. “it must begin with the dawn of the millennium” or not at all. 

scully seems to be pondering this, in her catholic way.

he proposes that the necromancer is NOT from the millennium group- they hired him. he thinks he’s doing god’s work. hmm. didn’t know you could place an ad in the paper and find one that easily. he seems to be just some guy.

but frank begins to profile him. he talks of a man leading a solitary existence, working with death- and we see mr. johnson working with taxidermy! he did what he could to prevent the deputy from coming back to life. and he’ll return the body. 

they plan to go to the morgue- and mulder says they must track down the not-dead bodies first before locating a murderer. BAHAHA, tell him, scully, about these cultists mangling biblical prophecies. “and besides, 2001 is actually the start of the new millennium” <-NERD! nerd. said while blushing.

LMAOOOOO “nobody likes a math geek, scully” but you do. fucker. him saying that with a smile.... he's down bad

they’re going to split up: scully to the morgue, mulder to find the necromancer. 

and he asks for a favor: PLEASE do not let anyone take out the staples from the deputy’s mouth. “please? just humor me?” <- i like that tactic- saying "please" and asking for her to humor him instead of diving into long explanations of zombie lore. they're in a rush, after all!

BLEAUGHHH, SOMEONE IS TAKING THEM OUT ALREADY. ohhh, it's someone who isn't scully doing an autopsy- this feels very strange. BLEUGH, she opens his mouth, and it is filled with SALT.

scully calls. as the person doing the autopsy removes the salt. noooooooo. please listen to my friend scully! who calls AGAIN. she goes to listen to the message, asking her to please not autopsy the murder victim. BUT IT’S TOO LATE. THE ZOMBIE GOT HER!!!!!!

scully rolls up, drawing her gun as she finds the dead bodies, and the phone ringing off the hook, surrounded by blood. the woman who was doing the autopsy is still alive!!! but the necromancer is here!! as is the undead guy!! and shooting at him in the chest doesn’t prevent him from grabbing scully!!!

unhand her at once, you scoundrel!!!

the woman doing the autopsy is brought into the hospital, which is good. but where is scully?? 

skinner is here looking for her!!! he looks at a dead body… but it’s not her!!! she’s alive, but with scratches on her neck.

omfg..... skinner moved her hair to look at them…. something very intimate about that. he asks how she’s feeling. 

the dead body is the sheriff’s deputy! “he was dead, and then somehow he wasn’t”

i am distracted by the neck scars. sorry. she looks cool as fuck.

and of COURSE she shot the three rounds right into his chest. she knows no other way than perfect aim! but it had no effect.

god. she’s so pretty. sighs wistfully.

the necromancer shot the deputy in the head and saved her!!! but why?? he got away. and did not explain his actions.

skinner wants to talk to mulder… but he isn’t picking up his phone!!! 

he’s busy. got his sunglasses on. checking every single landowner in the area. and he has no service. but he seems to have found the guy! yeah, you also look cool as fuck in your shades, mulder, but not as cool as dramatic neck scar scully. 

he’s going through this guy necromancer mr. johnson's trash…. finds a ton of salt!!!! and puts some in his pockets. hope it’s enough to protect him from evil in the case of emergency.

bro crawls up the fence. okay, spider money!!

mr. johnson is coming home, though!!!

mulder gets inside his house, finding lots and lots of taxidermy. but mr. johnson pulls in, and sees mulder’s car!!!

mulder is breaking into a cellar of some sort. BLEUGH!!! a hand reaches up for him!!! many hands!!!! the zombies are trying to eat him!!! and then mr. johnson shuts the door!!!

he fires a ton of shots!!! but we know they are kind of immune to those unless they hit the head!!! 

scully goes to frank, asking if mulder has stopped by. she needs his help!! she is not going to take no for an answer. she asks if he thinks they can bring about the end times…. “but what if it were true? good and evil… which would prevail?” <- FUCK! scully ruminating on the nature of the universe and the role of god... i will eat it up every time. he still doesn’t want to help. 

oh…. he checks himself out…. maybe he will?

BRO!! THEY HAVE ALMOST EATEN MULDER’S ARM!!! he is trapped in that basement!!! 

frank goes to see the necromancer mr. johnson!!! and necromancer says thank god, we’d almost given up on you.

so frank was either wrong or lying in his profile- this guy was a member of the group, not just someone hired. that is how it seems to me, anyway, because why else would mr. johnson know him? or maybe they hired him before frank left? idk. hard to say. anyway, he says there’s someone in the basement- he’s killed one of the members. yeahhhh, that’s my mulder!!!

“but you’re here. now we’ll have four” LEAVE FRANK ALONE????

they step inside. “you were meant to be the fourth; i’d always known that” <- so that must be why he shot the zombie attacking scully- so frank could be the last horseman. but ohhh, franks’s confessing he sent mulder here!!! frank says he can’t walk the straight and narrow now that he knows they’ve succeeded. hey, what does that mean….? is he telling the truth? will he go along with their apocalyptic schemes?

necromancer mr. johnson says they took frank's daughter from him and murdered his wife over this?! is that true? seems like wild information to reveal in the third act.

and he pulls out a gun… saying there will be justice in the next world. frank says he’s ready. the necromancer starts changing. but frank gets him first!!! 

skinner calls scully. he has news: all four victims received calls from the same number frank had while at the hospital! trace that phone, she demands!

frank is tying up the necromancer, who is begging him not to do this- there is no future in this world, he says; only uncertainty and pain.

frank opens the door to find mulder… no response…. is he okay?!? yes! mulder says he’s down here, and the zombies are all around. frank tosses a flare. they’re hiding from him. he shoots one in the head!!! a frank W!! only two more!! and scully is on the way!!! 

following a map as she drives!!! tracing the route with her finger! that is my beloved!!

bleh!!! mulder had to tie his own arm tourniquet with his tie. a resourceful fellow. but frank gets jumped by a zombie!!! hurry, scully!!! 

she picks the lock instead of climbing the fence, which i think is a fun difference between her and mulder.

aha! mulder gets up and shoots one of the other zombies in the head!! or at least close to the head!! but the last one comes!! and he has no bullets!

YEAHHH, SCULLY GETS THEIR ASS!! and it seems like frank is bleeding from the head but otherwise okay???

the ball….. for new years… soon it shall drop. frank is watching in a hospital waiting room. scully comes to see him!! necromancer mr. johnson has been taken for a psych evaluation!!

scully says someone is here to see him. AWWW, it's his daughter :,) scully smiling as they hug…. someone shoot me.

OH… mulder comes out just then and smiles at them, too… stop. STOP. I’LL SCREAM. his arm is all wrapped up. frank heads out with the girl.

the ball… it drops. it’s 2000!!!! big things happening!!! he looks at her…. THEY KISSSSSSS and smile. “the world didn’t end” “no, it didn’t” OH MY GODDDDD

and they walk out, with his functional arm around her shoulder.

fuck. i gotta watch that again. 

he moved first… he was watching her… and then they both smile…

“the world didn’t end” being more about them actually making a move than it is about the potential threat of y2k. oh, fuck me.

AND SHE LOOKS AWAY as he wraps his arm around her. and he pushes the door ahead of her with his one working arm.

FUCK.

yeah. i had seen the gifs. but it is even better in person. RAAAAH.

and i know their dumbasses will NOT talk about it-

because that’s just what friends do, right? friends sometimes kiss each other on new year’s. and smile at cute children being reunited with their parents. absolutely. entirely platonic. it’s been known to happen 

(- that is my impression of what they were both thinking when they finally got to bed that night and couldn’t fall asleep)

ahhhh….. a kiss. that actually happened! in this universe!!!

so funny that they were going to kiss in FTF, but a bee got in the way, so we had to have a whole season of angst before that could happen. and as much as i would love to think that they’re both going to have an "oh shit, wait, i really liked that, did they like it too? i knew i would, i imagined it for a long time, but shit, shit, shit, it was better than i thought…" type moment, i KNOW they won’t talk about it. LMAO.

unless they prove me wrong!! i would love to be proved wrong!! i invite them to prove me wrong!!

aww. kiss aside, this was a pretty good episode. zombies!!! rawr!!! growl!!! scully gets cool neck scratches!! and saves the day with her sharpshooting!! skinner gives them a top secret task and then worries about his agents!! frank had an emotional arc that was compelling even though we just met the guy!! which is hard to do!! mulder got to say creepy things and climb a fence and use salt magic to keep himself safe!!! and he wanted to kiss her so bad and he did!! and the world didn’t end!!! 

oh…. i would love to read the fic on their internal musings as to what happens next. what they say when they see each other next? meeting in the office. still sleepy. still in pain. still riding that high. blushing. waiting to see who will address it. and neither of them brave enough to do so. 

RAAAAH. YEAHHHHHHH!!!! I LOVE BEING ALIVE IT!!! HAS THESE FICTIONAL LOSERS FOR ME TO THINK ABOUT!!!!

mmm. i shall sleep contentedly this evening.

LMAO, WHAT?? i scrolled down to see what the next episodes said and i saw something about getting trapped in a sexy video game?? HELLO??? WHO WROTE THIS SHIT?? 

and also??? did i see donnie? from irresistible??? are they going to revisit him?? that episode is SO important to scully’s character- i really hope they do it justice. i would have preferred if they didn’t bring pusher back; i felt like his original episode was better. and there is a cops episode??? and scully with a former lover??? people like that episode- 17, right?? and they revisit their very first case in the finale?? but i was told that if i want to stop, i should stop BEFORE requiem. which is the finale. and i probably won’t. but maybe i will? idk. i don’t have a ton of time anymore……. 

hmm. there is SO much to ponder here.

i clicked to peek at the episodes in season 8 and saw a few things. woah…….

yeah. idk what i’ll do! but there’s time. the show isn’t going anywhere. hmm. it’s worth it to know what happens… even just so you know how it should be rewritten in an AU. right?

ohohohoho. the world is lowkey my oyster.

[completeoveranalysis]

[12]

This feels strangely like a bookend to their first meeting so I’m just nervously going to keep reading out of sheer hope that I’m wrong and this isn’t what I think it is

It's fine it's fine there's nothing narratively final going on here it's all fine

WAIT NO

NO

NO

CLAMP DON’T DO IT

WAIT NO I’M NOT READY I DON’T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN

NO THANKS NO THANKS NO THANKS

But but but If I can stop myself from panicking too much it IS an actual book end. Yuuko adding the Hitsuzen Part II - people meet when they need to meet and they part when they need to part. The implication being EXACTLY what the entire chapter has been showing us every step of the way - that Watanuki has grown into everything that Yuuko was there to show him, and it would be hitsuzen for her to finally leave the store at this point. He IS ready to fulfill the demands of the store on his own, he’s grown to have the wisdom to answer all these strange and wonderful problems, and he also has the family and support system he needs to get through it all.

Watanuki first met Yuuko at the beginning of the manga (or like, this version of Watanuki, without his memories, first met Yuuko at the start of the manga) not knowing who he was or where he fit into the world. His inner fear that he didn’t deserve to exist meant his life was in turmoil, spirits hounded him wherever he went, and he was so scared by it that he wanted to wish it all away. 

And now it’s the opposite. He understands who he is and what he’s missing, he’s loved and feels like he wants to exist for the sake of those he love him, and he has a place that he belongs (and a place that is thrilled to have him there too, if you include Maru and Moro). He is no longer hounded by spirits - his life is in balance. He has reached his fully butterfly stage. 

And so there is no more for Yuuko to teach him.

But with that aside please excuse me it's TIME TO PANIC

[fixaidea]

Can't get over how Chief Nam had Dongsik's number saved as 'my Dongsik'. :,( He really did become something of a stand-in dad for him.

[fagtainsparklez]

i don’t think there’s anything funnier than streamers who live together playing like, among us or phasmophobia or something together. really any game where you’re not supposed to tell when another person has died, because there’s literally nothing funnier than the other person going, “well, i’m pretty sure my roommate just died, because i just heard a loud-ass shriek from the other room,”

[omegapausestuck]

Is it weird that I'm kind of dreading the thought of clicking that [S] button again after so long?

Like, I'm just starting to believe in HSBC again... what if they can't manage that same level of expressiveness in the animation?

I don't know if I could handle it right now...

[jerichogender]

thank you to the anon who asked me my thoughts about respawn because i’m over halfway through robin (2021) & this book is seriously worth the read

[francesderwent]

the last time I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer in full I think I was about 20 years old. I was close enough, if not in age then at least in experience, to Buffy to primarily relate to her. coming back to it now, as a nearly 32-year-old, is wild. no one in this show is good at parenting.

[shadowinthetreesbutcooler]

bbh in response to phil saying targeting was against the rules so he couldnt avenge him sdfghj

[arthursfuckinghat]

"Me? I don't care about that nonsense.. face me to the west, so I can watch the setting sun and remember all the fine times we had that way"

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 24 "gethsemane" thoughts

season FINALE!!! whew, it has been an emotional time these last few months, let me tell you that. i’m wondering how or if this will be wrapped up. 

the episode description makes no mention of scully’s illness, just more aliens. we always end the seasons with aliens. i imagine that this will also be a cliffhanger, so i’m trying to brace myself for that now.

(author's note: there was nothing short of reaching enlightenment that could have prepared me for this, and even if i had ascended to nirvana, i might have been ripped back out by the sheer tragedy of this storyline)

but damn, with a title like gethsemane, i’m expecting even more tears than usual. 

(author's note: yeah)

let us no longer delay. 

we begin with some videos from 1972, including carl sagan! what’s he doing here? well, he’s doing alien things. are you surprised?

the man on the screen is speaking about the probability of contacting aliens. he says it is very high.

and then cut to scully in some very yellow lighting, politely trying to get to a crime scene to do some FBI business!

wait. is that mulder’s couch???

she just needed to make an ID on a body and BRO WHAT. DID SHE FIND MULDER DEAD??? IN HIS OWN APARTMENT?????

HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO???!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

now she’s in a meeting room with a lot of important people…. 

she’s explaining how she was assigned to the x files four years ago…. and she’s explaining the mulder lore.

“i come here today, four years later, to report on the illegitimacy of agent mulder’s work” <- WOAH WHAT??? betrayal?????

“it is my scientific opinion that he became over the course of these years a victim- a victim of his own false hopes, and in his belief in the biggest of lies” <- that is so sad????!?!??

HELLO??? WHAT??? hey. what’s going on. is that really scully? or is it an alien?

well. they’ve gotten me both hooked and worried. 

is she lying to save him?? is he dead?? is she preserving his reputation in death?? because she said that stuff in the past tense… or maybe he was killed and she will be next if she doesn’t renounce everything???

WHAT IS AFOOT HERE.

scully i just publicly declared you my favorite, you can’t make me take that back…

(author's note: i should have never doubted her <3)

ohhhh fancy, the intro says “believe the lie”

helicopter over the yukon in canada. some guys say the stuff at camp is unbelievable. that's quite a jump in tone from before.

and now they’re marching up the hill, saying they’re very excited etc etc. it looks to be exhausting work. the score is very suspenseful.

they arrive in a cave and shake hands as the newcomers are introduced. and what is in there but…. a frozen alien???

i was hoping it would be a perfectly preserved mammoth :( but okay… whatever… (sadly kicks dirt around)

back to the meeting room with scully!!! she says there have been recent developments on the assumption that aliens exist… mulder was contacted by a man whose “pursuit of this evidence seemed to coincide with his own”, and she says he was duped!!!! fooled by scientific slight of hand!!! 

and she’s here to expose this lie… and to expose his work for what it is….

GIRL, WHAT WENT DOWN???

now a cut to some sort of scully family event!! she’s telling a story about her brother bill. will we finally get to see him!? yes!! here he is!!! like their father, he is also in the navy, and seems to be pretty decorated. 

and he says he sent her a birthday card, to which she says “thanks for remembering this year” LMAOOO get him again for me!!

(why does no one remember her birthday!!! i will cry!!!)

the priest arrives… and scully’s face falls…. why is she sad to see him? and why did he get invited??? i’m stressed. 

father mccue is talking to her about drifting from the church and feeling awkward, but her mom asked him to come tonight. he says turning back to faith is essential in times like this. she says she hasn’t felt a need to draw on faith for strength, that she has some. and she won’t coming running back now.

huh, i wonder if she thinks that “running back” to the church will be admitting defeat. she says she’d be lying to herself and to him if she did that.

maybe she has only lightly been dabbling in god-related affairs since revelations, but not enough to want to return to mass.

but a phone rings… it’s mulder!!!

he says he’s sorry to interrupt her dinner, (so at least there’s some self awareness there) but someone named arlinsky at the smithsonian contacted him about a mountain in canada.

he says she needs to meet him RIGHT AWAY. BRO???????? she looks SO sad when he said that. 

she would do ANYTHING for him. and tbh i see why she wants to expose him now. fuck that. 

she’s assuring him that it’s okay, and he’s trying to apologize, but i’m still mad at him, and scully should be too. and who the hell is this arlinsky guy? apparently he was involved in a ufo photo faking?? but he claims he’s innocent?? THAT is what disrupted her dinner??

he says he won’t tell her what she’s about to see….

he has pictures of an alien frozen in the mountain and she looks deeply unimpressed. girl me too! 

apparently the alien has been in the ice for 200 years. and babcock (arlinsky's colleague) was part of the team that found it.

arlinsky says it’s a very remote location for it to be a hoax, to which mulder once again displays some self awareness with his “well if you’re gonna go, why not go all the way?” but again, not enough to prevent himself from getting in this situation in the first place

arlinsky pulls out the ice core samples from each side of the body, and says he sincerely believes they have a full corpse of an alien. 

but family dinner. i care about that more.

mulder says no one will believe him, and the same people that hid the truth will be asked to authenticate it, so there will be no confirmation either. which is why arlinsky wants him to go and get the body, because he knows it means everything to mulder

ohhhh scully says she has no opinion… “this is your holy grail, mulder, not mine” <- i am glad she is admitting she has no horse in this race

OHHH “proving the existence of alien life is not my last dying wish” <-yeah remind him that you’re literally dying and you can’t waste time because he SEEMS TO HAVE FORGOTTEN!!!!

“this is not some selfish pet project of mine, scully” <- well if it’s for the sake of your sister, but you’re hurting the people around you for it, that is still selfish actually 

woah woah woah i had to write this next part out...

“you already believe, mulder, what difference will it make? i mean, what will proof change for you?”

“if someone could prove to you the existence of god, would it change you?”

“only if it has been disproven”

“then you accept the possibility that belief in god is a lie?” (where are you going with this…? this is a sensitive subject for her!)

“i don’t think about it, actually. and i don’t think it can be proven”

“but what if it could be? wouldn’t that knowledge be worth seeking? or is it easier to go on believing the lie?”

this exchange made me feel frustrated. i wish he would be less ahab-like all of the time. yes, it is a huge deal that someone found an alien. but i see no reason why he couldn't have gone to that meeting by himself. and bringing god into this when he knows that's something very personal to her is a low blow. i get the point he was trying to make about believing the lie and all that, but c'mon man.

mulder honey, i get that this is a big deal to you, but time and place.

she tells him that she cannot go with him, but then he says, well can you just look at the ice core samples please. and she nods her head reluctantly. 

cut back to the big meeting room with scully and other very important people

“what i couldn’t tell agent mulder, what i had only just learned myself, was that the cancer which had been diagnosed in me several months earlier had metastasized. and the doctors told me, short of a miracle, it would continue to aggressively invade my body, advancing faster each day towards the inevitable” <- OH MY GOD??? oh my god. 

but why wouldn't she tell him... did she think that telling him then would interrupt his alien quest?? and she didn't want to do that because she knows how important it is to him? or did she not want him to worry?

because i would have told him!!! i would have said it right then and there!! but she is very different from me...

the fact that she is aware that she has so little time left and STILL left her dinner to go deal with his nonsense… scully, i fear you give too much and need to do things for yourself, please please

back on the mountain, they’re cutting the ice with a chainsaw. feels a bit unscientific, but i mean i guess that’s how you get that stuff done.

one guy is loading a pistol??? saying he doesn’t know the men well. that’s suspicious. i don’t care for it. 

there’s something in the ice. maybe a bubble. or a casting hole!! of liquid poured!! could this be a fake?? but the angle wouldn’t make sense, says one guy. hmm... i'm not sure what to think.

did they put a fake alien all the way up here…? and why is gun guy looking around all shady like…?

back to the core samples in DC. the scientist says he found some hybrid cells in there, not plants nor animals, but chimera, and he wants to get them under a microscope. hmm… can we clone da alien :3

someone walks into the cave in the yukon with a shotgun!!! and kills all of the men!!!!! what the hell!!! is this a real alien then?????

this happens just as others begin the hike up the mountain, including the smithsonian guy arlinsky. and mulder!! i didn’t even recognize him under all those baggy coats and sunglasses. wow. i feel like a fake fan.

someone was supposed to meet them and guide them up the mountain, but there’s no one there, and all the supplies are frozen over. so they begin the hike on their own, following the tracks from the others.

oh! the find someone keeled over in the snow, to which mulder remarks “funny place to take a nap”. again with the inappropriate jokes as a coping mechanism. it’s the guide that was supposed to meet them!! and he was shot and killed!!!

well, the alien is starting to look more authentic as the bodies pile up. 

back at the lab, scully is looking for the scientist, but she doesn’t find him. what she does find is a guy stealing the core sample???

he shoves her down the stairs?????? what the HELL!!!!

see, i thought the alien was a lie at first, but now it’s starting to appear compelling.

mulder and smithsonian guy arlinsky have arrived at the cave, and he pulls out his gun. they find all of the bodies from the crew, and no alien!!! it has been carved out!!!

mulder hypothesizes that perhaps someone was listening to their radio comms and came to hide their alien knowledge, but they hear some groans. and babcock is still alive!!

he says that the alien body wasn’t taken, but that he buried it!! and sure enough, they find it beneath their feet. mulder looks at it with amazement. big moment for a guy like him.

but scully!!! her face is bruised and her pristine lab coat is covered in blood! bill comes in with a change of clothes. and he didn’t tell their mom what happened. 

“i was knocked down a flight of stairs… but i’m okay, luckily”

“you’re not okay, dana” <- OHHHH BILL. please tread carefully.

he says he knows about her cancer and she says mom wasn’t supposed to tell him!!!

she says she doesn’t want sympathy, and he accuses her of thinking she can cure herself. which feels like a terribly low blow.

OHHHH MY GOD. wait hold on. hold on.

“what are you doing at work getting knocked down and beaten up? what are you trying to prove? that you’re gonna go out fighting?”

“oh now, come on, bill”

“do you know what mom is going through? why do you think i didn’t tell her when they called?”

“what should i be doing?” (said with great frustration)

“we have a responsibility, not just to ourselves, but to the people in our lives”

“hey, look, just-just because i haven’t bared my soul to you or to father mccue or to god, it doesn’t mean that i’m not responsible to what’s important to me” (this was very defensive and exasperated in tone)

“to what? to who? this guy mulder? well, where is he, dana? where is he through all this?”

well…. i want to defend mulder, to say he doesn’t know, but just because he doesn’t know that her cancer is getting worse doesn’t mean he shouldn’t have been more sensitive. he actually has been very conscientious, which makes this whole alien thing all the more sudden and infuriating!!!

she is stunned into silence as bill looks at her with fury. and she doesn’t say anything more to him beyond “thank you for coming” <-god, what was she supposed to even say?? i get trying to shake her back to reality, but who did that cruelty help??

bill, i get what you were trying to do, but you pissed me off in the way that you did it. do you always show the people you care for that you love them by screaming at them? because if so. not a very effective tactic.

mulder is unboxing the alien, which is now in DC, and he’s trying to thaw it with the smithsonian guy arlinsky and babcock! who is doing better! despite taking a shotgun bullet.

babcock asks if it were a hoax, why would there be 6 men dead over it, which is a good question. 

ewwww, the alien looks so gross….

with the help of another FBI agent, she finds the guy who hurt her!!!! and he’s working for the government!!!! in the pentagon‘s research facility!!! his name is kritschgau. they should not hire people in the government who assault women in stairwells.

mulder and crew are getting x rays and scans of the alien. mulder is wearing a sweater, but i’m still mad at him so i will NOT make note of how cute it is. 

the alien body is gross as hell. they’re filming an autopsy. ohhh he’s cutting the eye membrane off. EWWWW. EWWW.

now the ribs…… ewww ewww ewwww EWW IT CRUNCHES. NASTY. he takes the ribs out and starts looking at the heart and lungs and some other white stuff in the chest. gag.

meanwhile, scully’s casing the joint looking for the dude kritschgau who assaulted her, and she finds him, tracks him down, and nearly hits him with her car!!! she has her gun and is going after him!!!! he is under arrest!!! 

she is NOT messing around. we see a level of scully fury here that is incredibly potent and shown to us infrequently. i enjoy it, but it also makes me sad, because it shows how much stress she is under.

it appears he has slipped away, but she catches him!!!!! yes ma'am!!!!

kritschgau says that if he gets arrested, they’ll kill him. “they” being the same people that gave her cancer!!! how tf does he know about that???”

meanwhile, the alien organs are being weighed.

then cutscene back to the big meeting with scully!!! she’s telling them about how they smuggled the corpse back, saying mulder was ready to believe it was an alien.

but kritschgau convinced her it was otherwise, and not a true alien… he explained how mulder and her had been deceived and used, and that it was part of their plan that led to missy’s death and her illness.

god, how she must have felt hearing that… that everything that had happened to her was a waste, that the only point in her suffering was to advance corruption... it must have been devastating

as mulder leaves the warehouse where the autopsy was occurring, it seems he’s being watched by a guy with a shotgun??? is the shotgun guy going from before after the alien people????

it IS shotgun guy from before!!!! he knows babcock?? and he kills smithsonian guy arlinsky!!!

now who tf is this babcock fellow?!?!?!?!?!?

kritschgau is now sitting in mulder's apartment, explaining the "everything is a lie" story to him. mulder asks why he'd do this now- a fair question- and kritschgau says he came to him because his son is very sick after serving in the gulf war. i suppose if in this universe that is also something that has been covered up by the government, it could spark some disillusionment in the whole process once it impacts him personally.

he says "they" invented mulder, the regression hypnosis, the story of his sister and what they told his dad, and that the alien body was made carefully in a lab. and it would never be carbon dated, it was only for him to see so he would go public with the news and discredit himself.

mulder declares kritschgau to be a liar, but he says the body is already long gone, so he leaves to check. and sure enough, when he goes back to the warehouse, it isn’t there, but arlinsky is dead, as is shotgun guy!!!

again, WHO TF IS BABCOCK??!?!?

the cellular materials were an exact match to what kritschgau described. 

and this brings us to scully and mulder really fighting, really really fighting

“after all i’ve seen and experienced, i refuse to believe it’s not true” “because it’s easier to believe the lie, isn’t it?” <- ohh callback to earlier....

and she reveals that he said she was given this sickness to make him believe… oh my god, if that’s true, and her life is just a prop in their sick game… 

he storms out. 

back to the video from the 70’s we began with. 

mulder is watching it and crying. oh no… the beginning is clicking into place for me…… oh no, i see what is coming…. 

back to the meeting room. she says she went to his apartment that morning to identify a body, and that mulder died of a self-inflicted gunshot 

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?????????????????

thus concludes the episode

she’s crying, she’s crying, all i can think about is her crying, what the hell, what the hell….

so he killed himself because he realized he was being used as a pawn and it was his fault scully was dying…

normally i would have more to say. but i’m not gonna lie to you, i don’t. this is just so fucking sad. i don’t even have the words. never in a million years did i see this happening. what the hell???? what the hell?

do i believe this kritschgau guy??? i think he’s probably telling 30% of the truth. but not the whole thing. why would all those men die for a fake alien? i think he’s being deployed as a cover story as mulder gets too close. and i think some of this is engineered, but not as much as he claims.

and i'm willing to bet that "believing the lie" actually refers to scully believing his cover story!!!

man. i’m sorry but i’m just so sad. i have been so sad this whole season!!!! 

mulder…… it was rude of you to interrupt her dinner…… but this was not the answer… 

how is sneaky mulder going to get out of the situation THIS time??? and how is scully going to get out of the hole she's dug by reporting all of their work as fraud?? is bill going to be happy now?? lowkey fuck bill, btw.

wow... this is just painful. and i don't even have to wait months to find out what happens next. had i seen this when it aired live i probably would have entered a state of mourning.

so that's the end, huh? of the season, i mean. just sucker punch after sucker punch. i hope this isn't the tone of everything else moving forward. can i get uhhhh one order of whimsy please. with a side of mutual pining. and a small hurt/comfort, emphasis on the comfort. thank you.

after waiting 24 hours from watching the episode initially, i am still torn between how to proceed next. part of me wants to compile all of my favorite moments from the season like always, but the other part of me wants to begin the next episode right away, just so i can move on from such horrible mental imagery as mulder dead from a self-inflicted gunshot. what a terrible thing i wouldn't even have expected from fanfiction!

but, i can also see that the next episode is a two parter, and to be left on ANOTHER cliffhanger would be horrible- but probably LESS horrible than being left with the sadness of dead mulder, right? i don't know what to do! i am filled with indecision!!!!

:(

at least i can take away some fascinating analysis regarding scully's relationship to catholicism, and her idea that depending on any force outside of herself- be it family, friends, or god- is a sign of weakness. i mean, that is pretty telling about her character. and the fact that she believes this so strongly she tried to hide her cancer getting worse from her brother and succeeded in hiding it from mulder!!! to even voice the truth would make it real. maybe that's why she can't tell them, can't go to mass- because it would mean that the end is really near if she did so. i think it's about both the perceived ideas of weakness ingrained in her by her hardass parents and a refusal to let the situation she has found herself in be registered as real in her own mind. she knows it is. but maybe if she pushes it to the side, she can forget for a while.

wow. that sure is something to think over, and think it over i shall.

[completeoveranalysis]

[7]

It's almost strange seeing Fai use his magic after all this time, and I can’t even enjoy it knowing what it cost

But oh how the spell he casts here also looks like an eye as it takes them into Evil Wolverine’s Evil Branding Department HQ

Like they're all being carried by the exact piece of Syaoran that he left behind (Fai's Eye) for them to use

Ohoho

Ok despite everything I do like Evil Wolverine looking completely different to normal. Evil Wolverine bleeding? Evil Wolverine almost looking scared as they show up?

WONDERFUL. Lovely sight. 10/10, only improved by Kurogane and Lava Lamp leaping into the air to attack him instantly. 

[mandareeboo]

Ooh, and we're back to cupcake. Not a good sign babe.