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nxcturne · 4 years ago

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⌜ ⁰⁰¹ satana hellstrom. megan fox. she/her. cis woman. ⌟ looks like SATANA HELLSTROM has joined the search for the missing mutants. the TWENTY-NINE YEAR OLD is known as THE DEVIL’S DAUGHTER and works alongside NO ONE. they were spotted recently in NYC, hopefully they’ll have some luck finding the missing mutants. ( may. 21. she/her. est. )

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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒

name: satana hellstrom alias(es): the devil's daughter, succubus, queen of hell age: 29 birthday & zodiac: october 29th, 1991 & scorpio sexuality: bisexual ( i checked and it’s no longer formatted like this :( but... the queen ) mbti: entj enneagram: 5w6 –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

𝐀 𝐃𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊 affiliation: mostly no one. occasionally hell lords, avengers of the supernatural, thunderbolts, witches, legion of monsters, masters of evil west coast. sometimes an ally to the midnight sons. weapons: ------- basilisk: although he has since been exorcised, she was bonded with the powerful demon 'basilisk'. although it was largely parasitic, he proved useful in his ability to... basically kill anything when she released him. abilities: -------life-force absorption: as a succubus, she is able to devour the souls of men via a kiss <3 ------- superhuman strength ------- superhuman durability ------- levitation ------- astral projection ------- hellfire manipulation ------- mind control ------- magic

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– 𝐁𝐀��𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

triggers: murder, satanism, brief mention of sacrifices (including one animal) & cults, brief mention of sex work

satana was the product of a literal unholy union between human victoria hellstrom and secret literal satan marduk kurios, an alias the satan adopted. it had been a plan set in motion for years -- for a half-human, half-demon, child -- but none took until marduk found himself charmed by victoria.

but! satana was not their first half-demon, half-human, child. born three years after her older brother, daimon hellstrom (pls bring him!), she became the happy byproduct! and she became the only family member who saw who her father truly was... and, like, at an intensely young age??

nonetheless! she was deemed a daddy's girl... and what better bonding activity than performing an animal sacrifice as a young child? when her mother witnessed this, she finally put two-and-two together (took her long enough...) and was driven mad, sent to the asylum she would die in.

she was separated from daimon. he went to a new human home and she went with her father to literally be raised in hell. various demons who walked amongst them helped her train and sharpen her powers <3

so that said, all she ever longed to do was impress her father, so her exile to earth was one that was initially assumed as temporary -- and, when made longer term, assumed manipulated by a powerful group: the four. and with the exile came the attachment of the basilisk.

on earth, she found herself walking the streets. plenty of attempted assailants and johns soon found themselves void of life and soul. a kiss on the lips, she sucked the life force from them and their soul turned into nothing but a butterfly for consumption. she was cursed to be a succubus, to gain her power and send further power back to her father through the kisses of many men (and it _only_ worked on men... #girlboss)

around this time, satanism was booming. she found herself commonly in the presence of satanists who believed her a prophet due to her birthmark, 'the devilmark.' however, with fanatic satanism came fanatic christianity (y’all, her comics began in the 70s, so just go with it)

it wasn't long before she found herself a victim of a fanatic christian group attack, left in an alley. and, ironically, saved by an ex-priest -- michael heron <3 of all mortal, and some immortal, beings, he was the only one who had enough willpower to resist her when she found herself accidentally going in for the kill.

he was a good man. not all good men were spared, but not all good men were as good as michael heron -- not all made her feel as human <3 for that, and for the care he took, she set his soul free... much to the chagrin of daddy dearest <3

all humanity escaped her when she learned the truth of her exile: her father was the cause of it. for all she had dedicated - her life to him and his cause - she was met with a cruel 'goodbye.'

with her mother (whom she never truly cared about <3) dead and her father proving to be her greatest betrayer, all she had left was daimon... the priest. so obviously, she would continue to go it alone.

with time, she not only built her own hell dimension, but built it so that it was booming. so entertaining, so lively, that she questioned who would want to go to heaven when they could meet all of their favorite dead musicians, actors, novelists, and so much more in her hell dimension!!!

she began oscillating between the good and the bad. whatever was for her, was for her. whatever would benefit her...

a time would come that she would become as close to her brother as she could be, but the general concept of having chosen a life of priesthood, even if it was before he knew his truth? wild!

also i literally just copied and pasted all of this from a discord server i used to write an intro for her in a couple months ago so............ pls do forgive me if it ain’t its sharpest!! i thought it wld be!! quicker than rewriting it all and it’s already been!! so long!!

tl;dr: should’ve been considered for her father’s right hand, not daimon. (#gaslightgatekeep)#girlboss. i like to pretend witches didn’t happen. i’ve never watched helstrom before bc i don’t have hulu but if u have from the gifsets i’ve seen i think her portrayal is great. has jim morrison in her hell which we love for her bc my god the amount of references to the doors in her early comics......

#vanished.intro #satana .#satana: intro.#character two! electric boogaloo!

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thehappyspaceman · 6 years ago

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The Dragon Prince Recap/Review (Season One)

Hey guys, Spaceman here. I know you’re probably wondering where my Favorite Christmas Songs video is by now, or where really any content whatsoever is. Well, the truth is that I spent the first part of this month and most of last month preparing for an entrance audition for a particular music college, whose name I can’t currently disclose (I want to be sure I get in before I talk about it), hence the lack of new content. But that’s all over now, so I’m prepared to get back to work on videos, art, and possibly even music! Yeah, remember when I did music? Anyway, while I’m working on that, I thought I’d write something to keep you guys interested.

Many of you may be aware of this, but from August to September of last year, I really got into Avatar: The Last Airbender. It’s my current obsession and even took the title of my favorite animated series of all time from the previous holder, Gargoyles, which was no small feat. It got to the point where after I finished watching it, I felt a bit of a hole in my life and needed to find something else to replace it. This is when I heard about Netflix’s series The Dragon Prince, which was described as being similar to Avatar, as well as being created by Avatar’s director Aaron Ehasz and featuring the involvement of some of Avatar’s cast and crew. I watched it and… thought it was okay? Just okay, but not great. This month, however, news was released that it was getting a second season, and I was interested, so I figured I might as well watch it again and type out my thoughts. How was it? Let’s take a look.

The Story

The Dragon Prince is set in a world where humans and elves are in conflict. There’s a lengthy explanation for this, which the show thankfully provides at the start of the first episode.

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Don’t worry; you don’t have to watch this in every episode. Anyway, the egg of the dragon king is presumed destroyed, and is imminent war between the elves and humans. As both sides prepare for the war, the elves attempt to assassinate the human King Harrow and his heir, the young Prince Ezran; however, during the attack, fifteen-year-old elf Rayla discovers that the egg was not destroyed, but rather stolen. Rayla teams up with Ezran and his half-brother, Callum, to deliver the egg back to the dragons. Meanwhile, Harrow’s advisor, the mage Lord Viren, is intent on war, and sends his own children Claudia and Soren after our heroes.

That’s just the really condensed version of the plot. During the nine episodes in season one, there is a lot of exposition and a lot of other things happen that I haven’t even mentioned. I would do an episode-by-episode recap for this show, but honestly, they all kind of blend together. Unlike with other animated shows I’ve watched recently, there aren’t really any standalone episodes I can think of. Each one kind of just moves straight into the next, which I guess makes sense for a series on Netflix, a service notorious for encouraging binge-watching.

The very first thing I noticed about The Dragon Prince was that it doesn’t really have any true antagonist on either side (at first). Like, you can’t really say, “Oh, the elves are evil,” or “Oh, the humans are evil.” I was super skeptical when the intro described that the humans were to blame for a lot of the problems, including discovering dark magic and slaying the Dragon King, but the intro also pits the elves in the wrong, showing them banishing all the humans instead of just banishing the few who discovered dark magic.

That leads me into discussing a major theme that’s prevalent at least in season one, the theme of prejudice and tolerance. From the few things that the humans know about the elves, they are painted as horrific killers. Humans think of elves as being bloodthirsty killers—literally and figuratively—and the elves are similarly shown holding stereotypes about humans. The fact that Callum and Ezran teamed up with Rayla was only due to the circumstances; it takes several episodes before they are able to fully trust one another. This is a theme that I’ve also seen done well in another favorite fantasy show of mine, Gargoyles.

Admittedly, a few parts of this story seem rather derivative, such as the six primal sources of magic being reminiscent of the Four Elements from Avatar, which leads me to the next topic…

The World

I will admit that it’s not entirely fair to judge a TV show based on its first nine episodes. Granted, I usually hold the policy that if a show’s first five episodes don’t get you hooked, then you should not be required to keep watching (take note, Steven Universe fans). The thing is, this show did get me interested, and I want to see it continue to develop, because what we have so far isn’t much. It kind of just feels like a standard fantasy world, with elves, dragons, castles, and assorted monsters, which, okay, is a tried and true formula by Tolkien and others, but after the world of Avatar, with its focus on Asian culture, its unique animals, and its nearly steampunk technology, I can’t help but feel like this is a slight step down.

That’s not to say that it’s bad, of course. There are a few things that make it really pop out and feel real. The background art, for one, is incredible. Some of the monsters feel unique, too, like those on the Cursed Caldera—one of them even kind of looks like a graboid from Tremors. Also, I like what they did with the elves’ design here. They could have easily just made them pale humans with pointy ears, but instead they put a lot of detail into it, giving the different groups of elves different skin colors, horns, and having them have only four fingers instead of five. Those are some nice touches.

The Characters

Let’s move on to the characters, starting with Rayla, who is easily my favorite character of the group. She admittedly has a bit of a Zuko thing going on, as she was assigned to hunt down the main characters but turns against her original group to help join the main characters on her mission. Other subtle details are similar, too, like her long-lasting inner conflict with her past and her use of dual swords. That said, her journey is a little different; for one thing, Zuko took nearly the entire run of Avatar to fully go through his heel-face turn, only switching sides halfway through the show’s final season. With Rayla, she joins the heroes in the third episode, which cuts out much of the emotional journey but also lends itself to more interactions with the human characters. She’s much funnier, for another thing, giving her share of snide remarks but also scoring a bunch of laughs when she goes undercover disguised as a human in one of the episodes—can you say, “How do you do, fellow kids humans?” Paula Burrows delivers a great vocal performance, which adds to the character.

Next up is Callum, the main human lead. Now, it’s incredibly easy to draw comparisons between his character and Sokka: Both are goofy, “normal” teenage boys in a world filled with magic, not very adept with fighting but good at planning things. More importantly, of course, is the fact that Callum is literally voiced by Sokka’s voice actor, Jack DeSena. Comparisons… were gonna pop up, is what I’m saying. And I’ll admit that the first time I watched The Dragon Prince, it was super jarring to hear Sokka’s voice coming out of Callum every time he talked. But there are some differences. While in Avatar, Sokka is the most responsible member of the group and the only one with any real degree of survival training, Callum is more inexperienced and callow, not good with a sword and only starting to learn magic. He’s also noticeably more chill and less panicky than the Sokka of season one of Avatar and shows that he can actually draw much better. Though considering Sokka’s drawing ability…

…that’s not really saying much.

Now to move on to Ezran, Callum’s half-brother. I have to admit, of the main characters, he’s probably the weakest, at least to me. I don’t know, he kind of feels a bit flat as a character. All I remember about him is the fact that he can understand animals, which is unique, but he doesn’t really have much of a personality aside from just being your typical kid. I know, it’s not easy to characterize a small child whilst making them believable… though again, Avatar managed to do so well. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t keep comparing these two shows, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t super easy.

Not helping is Ezran’s pet, a glow toad named Bait. As far as animal sidekicks go, I definitely prefer Appa from Avatar; hell, even Momo managed to get a few asskicking moments. Bait kind of just lies around and eats stuff. Several times, he manages to get the main characters into trouble, which I found a little bothersome. The one good thing about him is that his glowing abilities do come in handy a few times to temporarily blind enemies, though… I’ll get back to that later.

The trio is pursued by siblings Soren and Claudia. Soren is a young knight and a bit of a dumb jock but has a heart of gold. Claudia, meanwhile, is a nerdy mage who comes off as a bit awkward. They are always fun when they are on screen and have a believable relationship. It’s also worth noting that early on, Callum is revealed to have a crush on Claudia, which… oh boy, let’s hope the shipping discourse in The Dragon Prince’s fandom doesn’t get as bad as the Avatar fandom. I can already see a potential clash between the Claudia/Callum and Rayla/Callum crowds. (Full disclosure: I’m on the Rayla/Callum side.)

The other characters were cool, too. For as little time as we got to know him, I liked King Harrow, Ezran’s father. Even for his cringey dad humor, he was an intriguing character. It’s hinted that there was a lot of stuff in his past that we don’t know about, like his involvement with dark magic. Also intriguing was Lord Viren, Soren and Claudia’s father. It’s easy to see that he was once good and still has some good in him, as shown by his friendship with Harrow, but he has been corrupted by his use of dark magic and is too far gone. Finally, Aunt Amaya, Callum and Ezran’s deaf aunt who’s a solder on the frontlines, was another character I wound up loving. It’s rare that we see people with disabilities get good representation in animated series (another thing I loved about Avatar with the blind character Toph).

But okay, if we’re going to talk about this show, then I might as well bring up the one criticism that every other critic has already made about it. You know exactly what I’m talking about.

The Animation

Yes, among all the mixed reviews of this show, one consistent criticism was the animation. It seems to be CGI, but is going for a 2D, hand-drawn look; unfortunately, the way the pull it off is not necessarily the greatest. Take a look at the trailer for an example of what I’m talking about.

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No, your computer is not glitching out; that is the framerate they went with. And this choppiness is something that seems to be a trend with certain CGI shows outside of this one, with Rooster Teeth being the most notorious offender. If they really wanted to make it look 2D, they should have actually animated it hand-drawn. Doing this just pulls me out of the moment. (Oddly enough, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse does something very similar with its framerate, yet I don’t have any problem with that movie doing it.)

To be entirely fair, this is something that Aaron Ehasz has acknowledged. Apparently, season one was given a very low budget, and he has promised that season two will have a steadier framerate. Judging by the trailers I’ve seen for season two… yeah, it already looks way better. Also, with my second watch of season one, I found it much easier to look past. Maybe I was just used to it by then?

Assorted Other Stuff

Warning: This section goes into minor spoiler territory. I would highly advise not reading past this if you want to remain spoiler-free when you go into season one. Got it? Alright.

One other complaint I have had is the comedy, which is really hit-or-miss in a lot of places. As I mentioned before, the scenes where Rayla is disguised as a human are hilarious, and some of the snarky dialogue is also witty as hell, but there are other moments with awkward puns and some potty humor that just feel forced to me. There’s one scene in episode six where Callum is obviously having an erotic dream about Claudia, which seemed unfitting for this show… though to be fair, Avatar also had its share of adult humor.

See also.

Another awkward tidbit is that twice, when Ezran is about to use Bait’s ability to blind his enemies, he says the line, “Say hello to my little friend,” an obvious shout-out to the classic 1983 gangster film Scarface. My question is, why is that line thrown in there? Are most kids going to catch that reference? Call me strange, but regardless of what adult fanbase this show will capture (which, let’s be honest, it will), I highly doubt its target audience is watching Brian De Palma films.

Though maybe they should be.

Speaking of strange homages… well… take a look.

Your eyes don’t deceive you. Rayla is doing the infamous Naruto run, where you extend your arms out behind you as you run forward. And she and the other elves do this run multiple times during the show, too. It is neither practical nor particularly cool-looking, so I don’t know why this was done in the original show, and I genuinely hope this was only meant as an homage, because… again, it’s really damn silly.

The soundtrack of this show is rather nice, I will say. It’s not as memorable as Avatar or Gargoyles’, but I did find myself humming the end credits theme song after finishing watching. Speaking of which, during the credits, we get some cute drawings of the characters, some of which connect to the episode, others are apparently meant as foreshadowing for later episodes and plot points. If you watch this show, definitely do not skip the credits.

Now, as for stuff that I hope for the new season. I would like to know more about the cube that Callum and Rayla found at the winter lodge. It seems to have some kind of connection with the Primal Sources. Also, the mysterious magical mirror, I hope we can find out something about that. It was foreshadowed pretty heavily in episode eight, so I doubt they won’t do anything with it. Speaking of magic, I’d love to see Callum do more magic in the new season. It probably won’t be more wind magic, since he destroyed the sphere to birth the dragon, but Callum clearly has potential to become a great mage. Also, I would love to find out more about King Harrow’s past, as well as more about Callum and Ezran’s deceased mother, the Queen. We see Viren and Amaya mourning her by her gravesite in one scene, and Callum drawing her in another. How did she die? What was she like? These are all worthwhile questions for season two, or for future seasons after season two depending on how long the show goes for.

Conclusion

The Dragon Prince is a worthwhile watch. It’s nowhere near as great as Avatar or Gargoyles yet, and it is still clearly paving its own identity, but I still find it enjoyable enough and feel that it has potential for greatness. My main criticisms would be to up the animation quality and to develop the characters more, though my guess is that both will already happen in season two, which will be dropping later tomorrow, February 15.

But yeah, you have my attention, show. Don’t screw it up.

~Spaceman

#assorted thoughts #the dragon prince #recap #review #season 1 #tdp callum #tdp rayla #tdp ezran #tdp spoilers #tdp claudia #tdp soren #tdp amaya #general amaya #lord viren #king harrow #tdp harrow #tdp viren #tdp bait #can't wait for season 2

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aceofwands · 8 years ago

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it wants to give us the exciting parts and the emotional pay off without actually doing any of the work, is the best way I can think to explain it Ria hateblogs Discovery: Episode 7 “[Poorly Written Time Travel] Magic to Make[s] the Sanest [Wo]Man Go Mad”

liveblogged to @kendradaynes

we had entirely 'last time on Discovery' before the intro credits, like not even a teaser ...

kendradaynes... That's an unusual choice

aceofwands I thought so too!

it was just Mudd being left behind on the Klingon ship. probs cause Mudd is gonna show up (we saw in the teaser last week). seems an odd choice too, like it was only a couple episodes ago, we haven't forgotten what they did???

close up of Michael's face, giving a personal log

oh lord

already paused it to write an awful line of dialogue down: "despite my fears, I seem to have found my place on this discovery"

discovery of WHAT

the dialogue is so bad Shin, so bad

kendradaynes..... What? That is...That makes angsty teenage fic seem well written

aceofwands: she's talking about the ship's settled into routine ... which ... what? aren't they in the middle of a war?!!!!!!!!

and about how she's made a friend in Tilly, and how she's taken comfort in her work

and how "this ship has become the most important weapon in the Federation's arsenal"

and I can't even

it doesn't even feel like they're at war! the way they go around on this shiny ship and talk about how it's settled into routine??????

kendradaynes... I want to send them all of DS9 s7 and Voyager's Year of Hell 2 parter and maybe Enterprise season 3 to show WHY THAT WOULDN'T WORK

aceofwands: Stamet's wacky drive piloting ability has "Given him access not just to unseen parts of space but his personality as well" and like ... that's a worry! WHY IS NO ONE WORRIED ABOUT THIS

kendradaynes THAT IS NOT A GOOD THING GET THAT MAN TO A PSYCHOLOGIST

aceofwands I keep pausing this ONE PERSONAL LOG

she confesses she finds some members of the crew more interesting than others (lol what others, they feel even more like background characters than any of the other shows somehow???) and it's her talking to Voq-Tyler

(people online have been debating how it's too obvious that he's Voq, but I don't have any faith in these writers not doing the really fucking obvious)

"Lt Tyler has suffered so much and still maintains such dignity and kindness" I really really hope he actually is Voq like wow I want them to be this bad at writing (and nothing I've seen so far makes me think they're any good at it)

“I fear my personal history interferes with my ability to forge relationships. I am among the others yet also apart." I can't get over this, it's like bad self-insert fan fic (I'm not even 5 mins in lol, I'd better let her finish her stupid log and stop pausing it lol)

oh lord, she's facing one of her greatest challenges so far ... they're having a party

they're ... playing ... beer ... pong ... on Star Trek

this is like a gross noisy college frat party ... on Star Trek ...

why is Michael not wearing casual clothes ...

kendradaynes... #weneedtheorville

aceofwands Orville's party in Pria had more dignity??? which y'know, the show is full of dick jokes

oh it's okay though, Tyler is giving a speech

wait did he just point to a guy who's "sacrificed for us" who had some sort of disability? I went back - there's a guy sitting on what I think is supposed to be a futuristic wheelchair I guess?

how did we get from It's Only a Paper Moon to this?

kendradaynes There are also... Very few disabling things that can't be at least partially cured by the 23rd century

aceofwands yeeeeah my thoughts exactly. but it was unclear and part of a dramatic speech so

Tilly left Michael and Tyler alone together at the party, but they were asked to report to the bridge

I still don’t know why everyone loves Tilly ... she doesn't seem like a cadet, unless you count the AOS crew as cadets ... again, everyone's too 2017

ummmmmmm. so Michael and Tyler were walking along the corridor. when she bumped into Stamets and knocked a container of whatsits over. and he hugged her and asked why she's apologising for a random moment that makes life so gloriously unpredictable and WHY IS NO ONE CONCERNED FOR HIM

kendradaynes... That makes sense. He sounds high

aceofwands ohthe Doctor has just shown up in this conversation out of nowhere. "I deeply apologise for my partner, lately he's been acting ... different"

WHY ARE YOU HERE IN THIS RANDOM CORRIDOR DOC! YOU WEREN'T WALKING BESIDES STAMETS??? WHY DID YOU TURN UP JUST TO BE PART OF THIS CONVERSATION

(I keep pausing it, I'm only 7 mins in, I might uh ... stop pausing it and try to keep up lol)

kendradaynes There are so many plot holes in this show

aceofwands they made a cybernetic augment for his arm??

then they asked what the deal between Michael and Tyler is ... and I just ... why is this show ... so ... clumsy? there is no nuance, no subtlety, it’s like they have to hit us over the head with everything like MICHAEL AND TYLER LIKE EACH OTHER OKAY AUDIENCE, DO YOU GET IT?

kendradaynes Honestly it feels like 18 year old self-insert fanfiction

aceofwands cut to the bridge. Saru and Lorca found an unidentified signal ... its some sort of biological space organism

which Michael knows a lot about

kendradaynes Of course. Because she knows everything

aceofwands protocol requires them to take care of it, because it's endangered, which is nice because actual Star Trek things

and um what

kendradaynes I hate her, jsyk

aceofwands they just beamed it into the cargo bay???????????????????

IT LIVES IN SPACE

IN VACUUM

HOW WOULD IT SURVIVE IN ATMOSPHERE AND GRAVITY???

kendradaynes welp that thing would be dead

aceofwands OMG IT HAS A DEMOGORGON FACE

some dude in a helmet hitched a ride inside its mouth and used it to get on board

its killed a bunch of people, but Michael escaped

oh its Mudd, to no one's surprise

kendradaynes Of course. Because self insert

aceofwands "did you really think you could leave me in a Klingon prison and suffer no repercussions?"

what have they done to his character

good fucking grief

kendradaynes*sigh*

aceofwands he's come here to find out why the Discovery is special, and is talking about how he's gonna sell it to the Klingons, but "not this time". so Mudd's causing a time travel loop. exploding their ship. the Discovery is blowing up. but now it's back to the party

this sucks

usually I LOVE time loop episodes

they're usually so fun! but this show is boring and dumb

oh man ... if you're gonna repeat scenes ... THIS IS THE BEST YOU'VE GOT???? them walking along a corridor talking

OH LOL it's Stamets. he's the only one who recognises the time loop. and everyone thinks he's crazy! "I need all of you blasted people to start listening"

why is this episode not about Stamets talking to someone?

why wouldn’t they listen to him???

Michael's all "oooooh how did Stamets know what it was going to be???"

.....had to pause it. Michael requested being in charge of the operation. Lorca: "I don't give a damn, I just want it done". then Tyler requested being in charge for security. and Lorca: "I still don't give a damn"

this. is. not. Star. Trek.

seriously

when there was a time loop on Next Gen and they started realising they HELD A FUCKING STAFF MEETING! and they realised through the poker game, which was clever! and everything about that was more fun and impressive than this shit has been in the first 15 mins!

the spore drive just activated, and they're all like 'why is this happening?". but obvs Mudd's in engineering

Tyler and Michael are threatening him with phasers, but haven't shot him on sight. oh they finally did. but there was a forcefield. Mudd's trying to figure out how the drive works.

Michael: "You are mad."

Mudd: "No, I'm Mudd."

WHY

I wish the idiots who wrote this garbage would get stuck in a time loop and forced to watch this awful episode over and over until they figured out how to stop it from being so bad

then he yelled at them to tell him how to work it AND STAMETS WAS BEHIND HIM AND SHOT HIM IN THE BACK. and said: "As days go, this was a weird one" which is hilarious

except that I'm not even 20 mins in and somehow bored?

how can they make time loops boring?

they keep saying different things???? in the scenes????

is it a time loop or isn't it?

do they know or don't they?

this doesn't make sense!

kendradaynes That's... not how a timeloop works. It only changes when they realise it

aceofwands yeah it's clearly trying to jump to the parts later on, cause Stamets implies that they've looped many times already. but instead - as usual - it just comes across as .. confused? muddled? like it's not really a time loop because they clearly know it's a loop enough to change what they say, but not enough to realise they're looping???

kendradaynes Yeah that's not how time loops are meant to work and I'm mildly vexed

aceofwands Mudd has got Lorca to come down with him "I really can't take it from the top again Lorca"

ummmm Mudd's talking about how he's explained this to Lorca before, but needs his help to access part of the ship ... if he's aware they're looping then ... why is he so bad at ... I don't even know .... [I stopped being able to explain everything wrong with this episode’s plot around this point]

this episode is a primer in How Not To Write Time Travel

Stamets is explaining how he thinks he's outside of the loop: "it's getting really hard to keep it straight" lol

he needs Michael to talk to Tyler but they're about to loop, and Stamets wants her to tell him something so she'll trust him straight away next loop. and she did??? and he made a sad face and said he was sorry

don't make me have feelings with your decent acting Anthony Rapp

but also do they not have protocols for time travel or like anything else to share???

"now is usually around the time he kills the Captain" - can we stay in that when we fix the loop lol

"you kill a Starfleet captain they lock you up for ever" ummm do they really

LOL WE'RE GETTING ALL THE LOOPS WHERE MUDD KILLS LORCA AND IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY SATISFYING WATCHING HIM DIE

HE'S EATING A SANDWICH AND HAD LORCA BEAMED TO SPACE

53 TIMES LOL

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

OKAY

ACTUALLY HILARIOUS PART

loop back to the party: Michael and Tilly talking. Stamets appears, taps Tilly, "I just spotted the hottest guy over there and apparently, he's in a band! Have fun!" (she was explaining earlier how she used to be into soldiers but is lately into musicians, cause that's what passes for character development on this awful show)

genuinely made me laugh

Michael's secret is that she's never been in love ... which we knew from the way she acted earlier in the episode??? not even a secret

HIS DIALOGUE IS DIFFERENT

THIS ISN'T HOW TIME LOOPS WORK

oh that was enough for Stamets to prove he was telling the truth ... and she now has to talk to Tyler about mudd?? idk it's super unclear why this is happening or what they're hoping to achieve ?????

honestly this episode is a terrible muddled mess

...................had to pause it again

to explain this scene

I'm leaving out so much and you're probably confused (I'm watching it and I'm confused)

she blew her chance to talk to Tyler because she likes him, which Stamets points out, and she says she's out of her element, so he says 'dance with me, for science, so I can see what I'm working with ... 'and like .... helping Michael talk to the guy she likes .... .... so they can save the ship from a time loop ... is the worst idea for a Star Trek episode I've ever heard. and I've watched Threshold

stupid space lizards make more sense than this plot

she's wondering how people make connections

and Stamets is explaining how Dr Culber and he got together

because the Doc was humming terrible opera

I ... I ... this

I can't Shin

you'll have to watch this dumb show with me if you want to make sense of it

I have to go back and attempt

no I'll just type out this conversation

see if it makes any sense to you

kendradaynes This sounds like it's impossible to make sense of even while watching

aceofwands

"Hugh and I fell in love after I told him to get lost."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Love isn't logical." (they're slow dancing while this happens)

"I was in a wonderful cafe on Alpha Centauri when three seats down comes this hideous humming. Have you ever heard someone try to hum Casselian opera?"

"I can't say that I have."

"Well I told him to stifle it or sit somewhere else. Instead, he sat right next to me. And he's been there ever since." [Michael looks as confused as I am]

"After such a rude exchange. Why would he do that?"

"I told him how I really felt. And he did the same. And we liked that about each other."

"I'm good at honesty."

"Never hide who you really are. That's the way relationships work."

... ............... I have no words for how little this scene makes sense. that is not how relationships work???? that is a terrible way for them to get together???? and most importantly WHY ARE THEY SLOW DANCING (hint because they realised having them stand around the corridors was fucking boring probably)

kendradaynes THAT IS NOT HOW RELATIONSHIPS WORK

aceofwands I KNOW RIGHT

THEY'RE OUT OF TIME ALREADY? NO WAY IT HAS BEEN HALF AN HOUR

lol Michael is pulling Tyler away to dance in this time loop, the lighting is very purple with lots of close ups of their hands on each other

had to pause it again I am dying of bad laughter at the nonsense

they're dancing and it's kinda sweet and they've got an almost hint at a sexy vibe .... and then Burnham goes "So I hear you were locked up in a Klingon prison cell with Harry Mudd"

whyyyy are they not having a staff meeting about this?

I mean I know Lorca is a jerk and all. but this approach makes ZERO SENSE! she's telling him the whole truth, while they dance ... Stamets is watching and looking bemused ....

Tyler is like "why would he think I'd trust you?"

"Because I like you. And he thinks you like me too."

and he's like 'oh ... tonight's gotten weird but also very interesting'

WHY DO NONE OF THEM ACT LIKE REAL PEOPLE?

like ... how is it that Shakespearean, larger than life characters in previous series somehow feel more real and genuine????? these people just SOUND LIKE THEY'RE IN A TV SHOW????? like it sounds like TV dialogue!

I can't explain it

"if time really is repeating, this won't matter" and he kisses her. of course.

maybe less dancing more saving the ship?

they're talking while dancing "he used to brag about robbing a Betazoid bank"

!"a non equilibrial matter state" - a time crystal, which she learned about at the Vulcan science academy. which they haven't been able to perfect, but a 4 dimensional being must have perfected it, according to Burnham

good thing she knew all of this ??????????

IT'S SO BADLY WRITTEN SHIN

WHAT THE FUCK

there's no figuring anything out!

they just already know!!!!!!

cut back to the bridge, wondering where Michael and Tyler are. Mudd appears, playing music

hahahahaha the computer addressed him as Captain Mudd: "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually tired of gloating"

he's found a weaponised dark matter ball in Lorca's stash of dangerous shit. and he's blabbing on about it "and if any of you were planning on being heroes - including you, random communications officer man" LOL (the guy just ran up to try to stop him) "you'll find there's very little I don't know."

Tyler and Michael burst out onto the bridge for some reason ????

tried to shoot Mudd, the forcefield is still there ... he chucked the dark matter at Tyler .... who dissolved ....

Mudd: "well that was new"

why would they listen to him? Michael you KNOW IT'S A TIME LOOP

STAMETS WHAT ARE YOU DOING

WHAT

THE

FUCK

he told him to stop, because he can't watch Mudd kill any more people

I PAUSED IT UNTIL I STOPPED FEELING CONFUSED BUT I DON'T THINK I WILL EVER STOP BEING CONFUSED

why

would

tell

Mudd

what kind of plan ....

why did ....

why

kendradaynes Is your brain broken?

aceofwands yes

Stamets gave himself to Mudd????? even though he knew it was a time loop?why would he do that?

Michael has figured out the space whale has a ship in its belly .... with Mudd's crystal energy source in it .....

how .... does Michael know about Stella ???? I can't explain this episode to you any more Shin ... you'd have to watch this nonsense for yourself

she has come to sacrifice herself .... because the Klingons want her more than the ship

"you'll get a lot for this ship, but what would I be worth to them?"

"what's in it for you?" "Lt Tyler" "Lt Tyler is dead" "Not for long" ... and then she ATE A DARK MATTER BALL .... to force him to reset the timeline ....

NO NO NO NO

HOW DOES STAMETS KNOW

WE DIDN'T SEE HIM AGAIN AFTER HE WENT OFF WITH MUDD

SO HOW DID HE KNOW TO TELL MICHAEL HER OWN PLAN

or are we supposed to believe she remembers?

this episode MAKES NO SENSE

has Stamets finally told the Captain? why is he on the bridge

yes ... she did tell them .... everyone there knows and Mudd's confused

Lorca greeted him "Captain Mudd, your chair" - offers his chair

he realised Stamets was "passing on notes"

"don't try to con a con man" "I'm not, I'm negotiating with a business man"

"why would a Federation Captain do that?" "I will not have a repeat of the Boran [sp?] [his past ship]"

this episode is complete rubbish

he's leading Michael and Stamets off to the transporter room to meet the Klingons

lol Stamets has found out about his wife Stella. they found out he's been running from Stella, not to her lol

this episode would have been clever if the time loop wasn't so poorly done!

they rewired the captain's chair to send the message to Stella and her father .... who's come to get him lol

why ... why are they even doing this? they're so obsessed with making a new Star Trek series, why keep bringing in old characters for no reason?

Michael and Tyler waiting for a turbolift, Stamets told them both that in a previous timeline they danced .... they're super awkward

OH LORD

"What I'm feeling is complicated, and strange" "It's okay, I'm not going anywhere”

STOP TELLING US YOUR FEELINGS MICHAEL

I actually think they're really cute? I would usually like so many of these characters! but wow the plots are so. bad.

and it's so clumsy!

holy crap that was bad

oh lord, Saru in the next ep, they're on a planet, there are Klingons and the Admrial being tortured

wow. that's over. and took me ages to watch because I had to stop it so often lol

I have watched a lot of time travel episodes in my decades as a Trekkie (and on other sci fi shows) and that has got to be worst I’ve ever seen! It was SO confusingly done!

they just have no internal consistency!

you have Mudd getting revenge and Stamets working against him ... really really poorly ...

and all of their solutions to the problems just made no sense???

Stamets giving himself up to Mudd???

and then the final solution of them all working together ... it wasn't like in the Next Gen episode I keep thinking of, where they eventually realise they're looping and find the message in Data and it feels like they worked together to solve it

it feels like this show ... cuts corners

it wants to give us the exciting parts and the emotional pay off without actually doing any of the work, is the best way I can think to explain it

it was ... choppy and confused

that sums the show up to be honest.

they went on and on about how they’re telling a big serialised story, but it isn’t even? we’ve had these weird interlude episodes with Sarek and now Mudd where stuff just happens just because? and they keep TELLING us they’re fighting a war but it doesn’t feel like they’re in one!

if they’re going to do serialised season long arcs then they need to do way way better, like I just binge watched 9 episodes of Stranger Things yesterday! I know what a good serial narrative looks like and this is not it!

and if they’re going to do episodic then they need to do way way better

the plot of this was just confused nonsense that was weirdly focused around Michael and Tyler’s relationship more than anything else ... it just feels like they’re mashing a bunch of random rubbish together and hoping it works, rather than like a carefully crafted story on either an episodic OR a serial level!

and now I’m just thinking about how much I want to go watch some fun time loop episodes - like man, give me SG1 stuck in a time loop doing stupid shit any day, at least that was fun AND made sense

#hateblogging #STD #seriously so much hate for this episode #long post #extremely long

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