#lots of back and forth between Jack and Maggie

[kiwriteswords]

Maybe some already together hotch and reader parenting Jack?

Heartstrings Attached [Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader]

Masterlist || Ao3||Word Count: 3k|| AN: this was fun and really nothing like I have written before! I was re-watching The Nanny pilot where Maggie has her first kiss and Mr. Sheffield's reaction made me wonder how Hotch would react to Jack dating!

Tags/Warnings: established relationship, family vibes, mentions of Haley's death, Teenage Jack Hotchner, Jack's first kiss, Jack's first crush, Jack's first heartbreak, Sad Hotch Hours, Missing Haley Hotchner Hours, hurt/comfort, Jack preferring Reader over Hotch, angsty Jack, No mention of if Reader is BAU or not, future fic, fluffy fluff fluff

Summary: Navigating parenthood is hard enough, but add in teenage love and angst, and Hotch was in for it--grateful to have you at his side, he struggles when Jack prefers your comfort to his own.

In the Hotchner household, evenings typically unfolded with a quiet kind of routine, the kind that comes with the stability of an established relationship and shared space. But tonight, as Aaron Hotchner watched Jack, now a teenager taller than himself, pacing back and forth in your living room, he sensed a disruption to your usual peace.

Jack had always been an anxious kid--much of that hung on Aaron’s shoulders, from all that his job took from and brought into Jack’s life. 

"You seem... preoccupied," Aaron remarked, his voice calm as he set aside the case file he'd been reading. Jack stopped pacing and glanced at his father, then at you, who were curled up on the other end of the couch with a book in hand.

"It's nothing," Jack muttered, clearly wrestling with whether to share more. You looked over at Aaron, giving him a subtle nod, an unspoken signal between the two of you that said, 'Give him a minute.'

After a brief pause, Jack sighed and turned towards you, his expression torn between embarrassment and the trust he'd come to place in you over the years. "Actually, I... there's this girl at school."

You set your book down, your full attention on Jack. "Oh? What about her?" you asked gently.

Jack blushed, his hands shoved deep into his pockets as he mumbled, "I kinda like her. A lot. And I think she might like me too, but I don’t know what to do about it."

Aaron observed the exchange, feeling a twinge of something unfamiliar. Jealousy? No, it was more akin to inadequacy. Here was his son, coming to you with matters he was too embarrassed to discuss with his own father. But watching the ease with which Jack confided in you softened any hard feelings; if anything, it filled him with gratitude.

"What do you like about her?" you inquired, your voice laced with interest and devoid of any judgment.

"She's funny, and she likes a lot of the stuff I do. And she’s really smart," Jack explained, his eyes lighting up as he spoke.

"That sounds wonderful, Jack," you responded, smiling encouragingly. "Have you guys talked much?"

"Yeah, at lunch and stuff. I just... don't know if I should tell her how I feel, or even how to do that," Jack confessed, looking towards his father now.

Aaron cleared his throat, feeling suddenly on the spot. "Well, Jack, the truth is, being honest about your feelings is usually the best approach. It’s not easy, but it’s straightforward. Just... be yourself," Aaron advised, trying to recall how he’d navigated his own youthful crushes, which felt like a lifetime ago.

"You think I should just tell her?" Jack asked, his tone a mix of hope and nerves.

"I do," Aaron said, nodding. "But maybe you could start by asking her to hang out, just the two of you. See how it goes from there."

Jack considered this for a moment, then turned to you. "What do you think?"

"I agree with your dad," you said, your gaze soft yet earnest. "And whatever happens, we're here for you. It's okay to be nervous, and it's okay if things don't go exactly how you plan. What's important is that you're honest and respectful."

Jack nodded, taking in the advice from both of you. "Thanks," he said, a genuine smile breaking through his earlier anxious demeanor. "I think I’ll ask her to the movies this weekend."

"That sounds like a great idea," you encouraged, and Aaron couldn’t help but smile at the warm, supportive dynamic that had blossomed between you and Jack. It wasn’t the traditional picture of a family, perhaps, but it was yours, and it was filled with love and understanding.

Later that evening, as Jack headed upstairs, Aaron lingered behind with you, his expression thoughtful. "Thank you," he murmured, reaching for your hand. "For being here, for being you. For making things like this easier for him... and for me."

You squeezed his hand, leaning into him slightly. "We’re a team, Aaron. And I love being a part of this family."

He nodded, the weight of his earlier feelings of inadequacy lifting in the comfort of your presence. In this household, amidst the quiet routines and the occasional teenage turmoil, Aaron found not just solace but a deep, enduring partnership. And as he looked at you, he knew with certainty that together, there was nothing you couldn't handle.

Aaron Hotchner watched his son, Jack, meticulously adjust his collar for the third time in the mirror. The teenager's movements were stiff, each motion betraying a level of tension that Aaron knew all too well—it was a mirror to his own.

"You look great, Jack. She's going to think so, too," Aaron commented, attempting a reassuring tone as he leaned against the doorway of Jack’s room.

Jack met his father's gaze in the mirror, his eyes flashing briefly with a familiar intensity. "What if I don’t even know what to say? What if—"

"Jack," Aaron interjected, a bit more sharply than intended, "you've prepared enough. Overthinking it won't help."

The words were meant to steady, but they landed like a challenge. Jack turned abruptly, his expression hardening. "You don’t understand. It’s easy for you to say—"

Aaron felt a prickle of irritation. "Jack, I’m trying to help you. There’s no reason to—"

"Yeah, by telling me I’m overthinking? Thanks a lot," Jack snapped, his tone biting, and stormed past Aaron towards the stairs.

You appeared at the bottom of the staircase, having caught the tail end of the exchange. Your expression was one of concern mixed with calm. "Everything okay?" you asked, looking from Jack’s retreating back to Aaron’s tight expression.

Aaron sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "He’s just nervous," he muttered, following you and Jack to the car.

The ride to the movie theater was tense, the air thick with unspoken apologies and frustrations. Aaron drove, his hands gripping the steering wheel a little too tightly, while you sat beside him, offering a gentle presence. In the backseat, Jack was silent, lost in his own whirlwind of teenage angst.

When you arrived at the theater, Jack unbuckled his seatbelt and paused, his hand on the door. He seemed to struggle with himself for a moment before turning slightly. "Sorry for snapping, Dad. I’m just... really nervous."

Aaron nodded, a mixture of relief and concern in his eyes. "It’s okay, Jack. Just be yourself, she’ll see how great you are."

Jack managed a small, grateful smile before stepping out of the car and into the evening crowd. As he walked away, Aaron watched him go, a pang of helplessness touching his heart. It wasn’t just about tonight; it was the creeping realization of how much he would have to learn to navigate as Jack grew up.

You reached over, touching Aaron’s arm. "He’s going to be fine," you murmured. "And so are you."

Aaron let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. "It never gets easier, does it? Letting them face things on their own."

You shook your head, your smile gentle. "No, but we do get better at trusting them to handle it. And Jack knows he has us to come back to, no matter how it goes."

Aaron glanced at you, the steady assurance in your voice grounding him. "I don’t know what I’d do without you," he admitted, the weight of his role as a single parent momentarily overwhelming.

"You’d do just fine," you assured him, squeezing his arm. "But you don’t have to. We’re in this together, remember?"

He smiled then, a genuine smile that reached his eyes. "Together," he echoed, feeling the truth of that word deep in his bones.

As you and Aaron drove back home, the earlier tension melted away, replaced by a comfortable silence that spoke of shared burdens and joint victories. In that moment, Aaron knew that whatever challenges lay ahead with Jack, or with anything else, they were surmountable—as long as you were there beside him.

When Aaron and you arrived at the theater to pick up Jack, the sight of him waiting by the curb instantly signaled a change. There was a lightness in his step, a barely contained energy that was unusual for the typically composed teenager.

Jack slid into the backseat, a faint, almost secretive smile playing at the corners of his lips. He said nothing as Aaron pulled away from the curb, glancing occasionally in the rearview mirror at his son. Jack’s eyes were bright, his usual tension nowhere to be seen, replaced by an excited glimmer that Aaron had rarely witnessed.

The car was quiet, the silence stretching as Aaron and you exchanged knowing looks. Both of you could sense the bubbling enthusiasm Jack was struggling to contain, yet neither of you wanted to press him, giving him the space to share in his own time.

Finally, unable to bear the suspense any longer and always more attuned to breaking the ice, you turned slightly in your seat to face Jack. “So? How was the movie?” you asked, your voice casual but tinged with an undercurrent of excitement for him.

Jack’s response was immediate, his words tumbling out in a rush. “It was awesome! We...” He paused, a flush spreading across his cheeks, and then he burst out with it. “We kissed! It was my first kiss.”

Aaron’s eyes met Jack’s in the rearview mirror, a smile breaking across his face at his son's joyous exclamation. The car filled with a warm, buoyant energy, the kind that comes from witnessing a milestone in someone you love dearly.

“That’s great, Jack!” you exclaimed, your delight evident. “How do you feel?”

Jack laughed, a sound of pure happiness. “I like her so much. She’s amazing. And the kiss was... it was perfect, I think. I mean, I don’t really have anything to compare it to, but...” His voice trailed off, and he shrugged, almost sheepishly.

Aaron listened, his heart swelling with a mix of pride and a poignant touch of sadness at the reminders of his own first experiences with love. “It sounds like you had a really good time,” he said, his tone supportive. “I’m happy for you, Jack.”

“Thanks, Dad. And thank you,” Jack added, looking at you. “For the advice and... just for being there.”

You nodded, your expression soft. “Anytime, Jack. We’re both so happy it went well.”

The rest of the drive home was filled with Jack sharing more details about the evening—the movie they’d barely watched, the nervous moments leading up to the kiss, and his plans to see her again. Aaron drove, listening and occasionally glancing back at Jack, who seemed to grow with each word he spoke.

When you all arrived home, Jack bounded out of the car with a quick, “Thanks for the ride!” before heading inside, no doubt eager to relive the evening in his mind.

Aaron turned to you, his eyes reflecting a complex mix of emotions. “He’s growing up fast,” he murmured, the reality hitting him anew.

You reached over, taking his hand. “He is. But he’s growing up well, Aaron. That’s all we can ask for.”

Aaron squeezed your hand in response, the solidity of your presence grounding him. “Yes, that’s all we can ask for,” he agreed, the pride evident in his voice. As you headed into the house together, Aaron felt a profound gratitude for the family you had become, imperfections and all, bound together by moments of simple, shared joy like tonight.

Over dinner, Jack's enthusiasm was infectious. As he detailed his plans to woo his new crush with flowers and romantic gestures straight out of the movies, Aaron couldn't help but share amused, knowing glances with you across the table. Every so often, Jack would catch them mid-glance and roll his eyes, a grin unable to hide his embarrassment.

"You think I'm being too cheesy, don't you?" Jack asked a playful accusation in his tone.

"Not at all," you replied, smiling warmly at him. "It's sweet. It's nice to see someone still believes in doing romantic things. Flowers are always a good idea."

Aaron nodded in agreement, watching as Jack considered your advice. "Just make sure you pick ones she likes," he added. "It shows you pay attention."

Jack nodded enthusiastically, absorbing every piece of advice like a sponge. "I’ll find out what her favorites are," he resolved.

The conversation lingered on lighter topics as you finished eating, but the warmth of family and shared understanding lingered in the air.

Later that night, as Aaron and you were getting ready for bed, the atmosphere shifted to a quieter, more reflective mood. You turned to Aaron as he was folding his clothes, a soft smile playing on your lips. "You know, Jack is a lot like you," you mused. "Even as a teenager, he’s got your sweetness. And he gets this giddy excitement about someone he cares about—just like you."

Aaron met your gaze in the mirror, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Was I that obvious?" he asked, though he already knew the answer.

"Completely," you teased gently, stepping closer. "I still remember our early days. Despite your stoic exterior, you had this way of showing your excitement that was... really endearing."

He turned to face you fully, his expression softening. "I guess some things don’t change," he admitted, reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "I still feel that way, you know. Every day with you."

Your eyes lit up at his words, and you leaned into his touch. "And I love that about you, Aaron. It’s the little things you do, the way you show you care. It’s never lost on me."

The conversation lingered in the air, settling warmly around them like a blanket. It reminded Aaron of how much he still wanted to make you feel special, how even the simplest gestures could speak volumes.

"Jack gave me a good reminder; I think I’ll buy you flowers tomorrow," Aaron declared softly, more to himself than to you.

You chuckled softly, your eyes twinkling with affection. "I’d like that," you said. 

As you finished getting ready for bed, the connection between them felt as fresh and exciting as it did in the early days of your relationship, a testament to the enduring nature of deep, genuine love.

It wasn’t long until the atmosphere of the Hotchner household shifted dramatically one afternoon when Jack burst through the front door, his usual calm demeanor replaced by a storm of teenage angst. He rushed past Aaron and you, not stopping to greet or even acknowledge either of you, his footsteps thundering up the stairs. Moments later, his bedroom door slammed shut with a force that echoed down the hallway.

You and Aaron exchanged a look of concern, both sensing the gravity of whatever had upset Jack so deeply. Aaron's jaw set in a familiar, determined line as he made his way to Jack's room, knocking softly despite the previous display of anger.

"Jack, can we talk?" Aaron called through the door, his voice calm but firm.

There was a tense pause, then a muffled, "Go away," from inside.

Aaron opened the door anyway, stepping into Jack’s room to find him sitting on the edge of his bed, his face buried in his hands. "Jack, whatever it is, I’m here to help," Aaron offered, trying to bridge the gap with understanding.

Jack looked up, his eyes red and his expression one of raw, unguarded pain. "You wouldn’t understand," he snapped, his words laced with frustration. "You met Mom in school and then found Y/N so easily after Mom passed. You’ve never had your heart broken like this."

The comment stung, bringing with it a flood of memories—of Haley, of loss, of the deepest kind of heartbreak Aaron had ever known. But he had to laugh internally at the irony; Jack had no idea what real heartbreak was, yet his feelings were valid in their own teenage context.

"Jack, I may not understand exactly what you're feeling right now, but I’ve experienced loss, more than just once. I can try to help," Aaron said, his voice even despite the emotional undercurrent.

Aaron looked around his son’s room--oh, how it had changed so much over the last few years. The legos and drawings now replaced with soccer trophies and posters.

"It’s not the same!" Jack retorted, his anger flaring again. "You don’t get it. She said she just wants to be friends, after everything... after the kiss. I thought... I don’t know what I thought."

Aaron sat down beside him, trying to close the distance. "It’s tough, feeling like you’ve been pushed aside," he offered. "But it doesn’t diminish what you felt, or what you meant to each other."

Jack shook his head, the rejection too fresh, too raw. "Just leave, Dad. Please," he murmured, not meeting Aaron's eyes.

Respecting his son’s request, Aaron stood and left the room, the door closing softly behind him this time. He returned downstairs, where you were waiting, having sensed that the conversation might not have gone smoothly.

Aaron relayed the interaction to you, his features tight with concern and helplessness. "He’s really hurting," Aaron confessed, the weight of his role as a father feeling particularly heavy.

You stepped closer, wrapping your arms around him. "You did what you could. He just needs some time," you reassured him, your voice soothing. "Heartbreak is a part of growing up, as hard as it is to watch. He'll learn from this, with us to support him."

Aaron nodded, leaning into your embrace, grateful for your presence and perspective. "It’s just hard, seeing him go through it," he admitted. "Makes me wish I could shield him from all the pain."

"But then he wouldn’t really grow, would he?" you pointed out gently. "All we can do is be here when he’s ready to talk, ready to heal."

"Right," Aaron agreed, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "Thank you," he added, the gratitude in his voice reflecting more than just thanks for this moment—it was for every moment you stood by him, helping him navigate the complexities of fatherhood and life itself. Together, you would be ready for when Jack decided to open up, ready to guide him through the pain toward healing.

Later that evening, as Aaron sat in the living room thumbing through an old case file, he couldn't shake the image of Jack’s hurt expression. He was roused from his thoughts by the sound of footsteps descending the stairs. Looking up, he saw Jack hesitating at the foot of the staircase, his eyes darting between Aaron and the hallway where you were.

"Dad, can I talk to Y/N?" Jack asked quietly, his voice revealing his vulnerability.

Aaron felt a pang in his chest, torn between relief that Jack was seeking comfort and a sting of jealousy that it wasn’t from him. He thought of Haley, of how things might have been different if she were here, but then he looked at you, emerging from the hallway behind Jack, and his heart filled with gratitude. You had become an integral part of their lives, filling spaces he hadn't known were empty.

"Of course, Jack," Aaron replied, managing a supportive smile as he watched you approach, your presence reassuring and steady.

You gave Aaron a gentle look that seemed to understand his mixed emotions before turning your attention to Jack. "Let’s talk, okay?" you said softly, guiding Jack back to his room for privacy.

Left alone with his thoughts, Aaron reflected on his journey—the loss of Haley, the challenges of single parenthood, and the unexpected blessing of finding love again with you. It was a complex tapestry of grief and new beginnings.

When you and Jack reappeared a while later, there was a noticeable shift in Jack’s demeanor. He seemed calmer, more composed, and he walked straight up to Aaron.

"I’m sorry for pushing you away earlier, Dad. I didn’t mean to," Jack apologized, his eyes earnest.

Aaron stood, setting aside the file, and pulled Jack into a hug. "It’s okay, Jack. I understand. It’s not easy, and I’m here whenever you need to talk, okay?"

Jack nodded, returning the embrace. "Thanks, Dad."

As they settled onto the couch, Aaron next to you and Jack opposite, the atmosphere was lighter. Aaron felt the need to address the earlier tension and offer some fatherly advice.

"Jack, life... it throws a lot at us. Heartbreak, loss—it’s all part of it. But so is happiness and love," Aaron began, his eyes flicking to you, then back to Jack. "You have plenty of time to find your happy ending. And sometimes, it happens when you least expect it."

He reached over, taking your hand in his, a silent testament to his words.

Jack smiled, a touch of red coloring his cheeks as he understood the implication. "I guess you’re right. I’ve got time."

"And remember, no matter what, you’re never alone," you added, squeezing Aaron’s hand. "We’re both here for you, always."

The rest of the evening passed with a new sense of understanding and closeness among you all. Aaron felt a deep sense of peace as he looked at you and Jack--his family. At this moment, he knew that despite the trials and the losses, you had found a way to build something enduring and real. And for Aaron, you were indeed his happy ending, the unexpected joy that had come from a time of great loss.

Tag List: @zaddyhotch @estragos @todorokishoe24 @looking1016  @khxna @rousethemouse @averyhotchner @reidfile @bernelflo @lover-of-books-and-tea @frickin-bats @sleepysongbirdsings @justyourusualash @person-005 @iyskgd @hiireadstuff @kcch-ns @alexxavicry

[livesincerely]

After your new fic this morning (which was so funny and cute, I screamed!) I’ve completed a reread of all your old fics and just had to say how obsessed I still am with take a shot. Do you have any updates or snippets you could share for it? Love your works so much!

Yes, actually!!! I’ve been working (slowly 😅) on the next chapter and on mapping out the back half of the fic, and I’m hoping to have some time to write this weekend, so hopefully there’s an update coming soon

00000

“And… yeah,” Jack finishes lamely, running a hand through his hair. “That’s the story.”

Maggie lets out a thoughtful hum, twiddling her pencil between her fingers.

“So?” Jack asks after several long seconds pass. “What'd ya think I should do?”

“Are you sure there’s anything to do?” Maggie offers.

At first, Jack can only stare at her—that’s how baffled he is at this suggestion.

“O’ course there is!” Jack says. “I can’t jus’ not do anythin’!”

“But if you don’t know what’s wrong, and if no one’s willing, or able to tell you…” She trails off with a shrug. “I think the only thing you can do right now is let it go. Give him the space he’s asking for and hope that he’ll let you know if he needs you.”

“He needs me now,” Jack insists. “You ain’t seen him but you can tell it jus’ lookin’ at him—he’s miserable, Mags. He’s keepin’ everythin’ bottle up and it’s eatin’ him up inside.”

“You said he’s confided in some of your other friends, right?” Maggie points out. “So he isn’t suffering alone, he’s got people to lean on.”

But Davey always leans on me, Jack can’t help but think, mulishly. Why’s now gotta be any different?

“He’s my best friend,” he says instead, and it comes out shorter than he means it to. “I jus’ feel like I should be doin’ somethin’ to help him.”

“Something like what?” Maggie prompts gently, her blue eyes wide and earnest.

“I dunno,” he says, starting to get a little frustrated. “Jus’, somethin’.” He lets out a long breath. “‘M not tryin’ ta crowd him, honest, I’m not, but it’s been weeks and things aren’t gettin’ better, they’re only gettin’ worse an’—“

He remembers Davey’s tears. Remembers Davey’s eyes.

“An’ there’s gotta be somethin’ I can do,” he finishes quietly. “There’s gotta be.”

…

“What the hell are you doin’ here?” Jack asks, something vicious wrapping taught around his chest.

“Enjoying the view,” Race says sardonically, leaping down from the fire escape. “What’d’ya think, dumbass?”

“You better not be messin’ with him, Race,” Jack warns. “‘Cause if I find out you’ve been pullin’ any of the shit you been pullin’ on me with Davey, I swear ta God I’m gonna—“

“Slow your roll, Jack,” Race interrupts, tucking his thumbs in his pockets. “I ain’t done nothin’ ta Davey.”

“I ain’t fuckin’ playing around, Racetrack,” Jack says, stepping closer. “Leave him alone.”

“What are you, his knight in shining armor?” Racetrack asks with a scoff, but there’s something hiding behind his eyes, like a secret he’s keeping close to his chest. “Last I checked, Davey can speak for himself.”

“He needs space,” Jack insists.

“Yeah, from you, maybe,” Racetrack responds harshly.

It’s like the breath’s been punched out of him.

“Is… Is that what he said?” Jack asks numbly, the words settling like talc on his tongue, thick enough to choke on. “Did he say that he didn’t…?”

Racetrack hesitates, and that hurts just as bad but in a different kind of way—another round of blows against an already bruised stretch of skin.

“Nah,” Race finally says. “He didn’t say that.”

“Then, what—“

“It ain’t none of your fucking business,” Race says firmly. “If he wants ta tell ya about it, he will. But until then, maybe you should take the hint and back off.”

“An’, what, you’re the exception to the rule?” Jack wonders bitterly, shoulders sagging.

“Well, I am pretty exceptional,” Race says, lifting his chin.

“You swear he’s okay?” Jack asks, a little desperately. “You swear you’re watchin’ his back?”

“You ain’t the only one that’s worried about him,” Race says, quiet and serious. “I’m helpin’ him as much as he’s lettin’ me.”

Jack rakes a hand through his hair. “Fine,” he mutters, defeated. “Fine.”

[dear--charlie]

Dear Charlie,

I'm in total crisis mode, and I guess you need some context for it to make sense. It's my sister's birthday, and I got our friends to come over for a day or two of hanging out. Normally, this is hard to do because Jack works all the time (and his mother is still very controlling) and Nikki can't find someone to watch her puppy. But, the stars aligned for this. Jack managed to swing sleeping over last night and tonight, and Nikki can come over tonight too.

The other bit of context is that I have a girlfriend now. I have a lot of feelings about it, and I can’t even begin to explain them, but just know that it’s not serious and the newness of it all is freaking me out to the point that I kind of feel like calling the whole thing off so I don’t have to get hurt. That’s a lot to throw at you, and maybe I’ll write a letter about her in the future, but not right now. Right now, I have a bigger problem.

The last bit of context that you need, that you kind of already know, is that I used to have feelings for Jack. I wrote to you years ago, when I was a freshman in college and using a different pen name, about how I loved him, how it broke my heart that he didn’t feel the same. My problem — the crisis — is that I don’t know if those feelings ever went away.

I need to start from the beginning.

I don’t remember exactly how it started. One day, Jack and I were in class together, and something made us laugh. Who knows what it was anymore? It’s not important. The point is that I knew, right then, that I loved him. We were laughing and I was looking at him, and I fell totally, completely silent while the sound still bloomed around me. I just looked at him and felt so scared, because I realized how I felt about him and didn’t know what to do.

I sat with that feeling for months, maybe more than a year if the dates of my old letters are anything to go off of. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by confessing anything, and he had his own shit to deal with, so I refused to complicate things any further. The problem came when I went to a Halloween party on campus. It was something small, just five or six of us crammed into someone’s dorm, but I’d downed a good seven shots of blue raspberry vodka in the span of a few hours. I didn’t feel drunk, or even tipsy, but I guess it’d given me the courage (or impaired my thinking enough) to tell him how I felt. He was two hours away, and it was two in the morning. I was walking back to my building and the sky was so dark, the air so crisp. I can remember the blue light of my screen illuminating my face while I poured my heart out to him. Then, once I was back in my bed, I shut my phone off so I couldn’t see his reaction.

He was nice about it — he’s always nice — and said that he didn’t feel the same way, but that a possible relationship in the future wasn’t off the table. I remember being mad at him for that. I mean, not at first. Because, at first, all I could focus on was the fact that he said he could see us being together in the future. That giddiness lasted for a day or two, maybe longer, and then the frustration set in. The letters are still up, they’re really melodramatic to me, but I still think the emotions ring true. I was mad because he made me feel like there was hope, and I was mad because it would’ve been easier to move on if he’d just said it was never gonna happen. I wanted to move on, Charlie. Loving him hurt so bad, because I knew it’d never be requited, and I wished that I could’ve loved someone else. So, I was mad.

We kept talking, of course. It didn’t really make things awkward. At least, he never acted like it. Who’s to say how he actually felt? Maybe being around me was like pulling teeth. I don’t know. I won't ask. I sent more letters about him, what I wanted to say and why I could never bring myself to do it. After months of wildly swinging back and forth between pessimism and hope, Nikki’d had enough. She knew about the whole thing, and she was upset that Jack led me on about a potential future relationship (even though he hadn’t meant to). She made him settle things, and I wish I could remember exactly what he said. I want to say that he drew a line in the sand and told me that it wasn’t gonna happen, but I know I’m wrong. Regardless, he made it clear that I needed to move on. So, I did. It took a while, but, eventually, I was so far removed from any romantic feelings towards him that looking back on my old letters made me feel ridiculous, that I was wondering if it was actually love at all. I think it was. I look back on it and I still think it was. In some ways, it was the only time I ever truly loved someone like that.

The problem came last night. We were talking about a new show that I’ve been watching with him. It felt similar to the time I realized I loved him. There was this moment of silence — comfortable, easy silence — and I wanted him to lean in and kiss me. It felt like I got suckerpunched in the chest. I haven’t felt like that in years. It’s been two fucking years, Charlie, and I thought those feelings were gone.

I think the thing that scares me most is the thought that came after. I realized the thing that’d come to mind in the moment, that I wanted him to close the space between us and kiss me, that I wanted him to crawl into my bed and hold me while we slept. I realized it, and nothing about it felt wrong. It should feel wrong. I just wanted it so desperately, so much, that I entertained the idea and wondered what would happen if he actually did those things.

Then, I was scared. I was just absolutely horrified, and I still am. What if these feelings never went away? What if I just fooled myself into thinking I was over him? What if these feelings never disappear? What if I’ll always love him in some latent, repressed way? I wanted to text Nikki and ask for her help, but it was late and I felt embarrassed about telling her how something she thinks — I thought — we settled years ago. I’m glad I didn’t text her, because I think I would’ve rambled and made no sense, but I still want her advice. Maybe I’ll ask her for it once these next few days have passed.

I don’t know what to do, okay? I’m overwhelmed and I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel guilty, because I shouldn’t even be having thoughts like that. He’s my best friend, he has feelings for someone else, and I have a fucking girlfriend for fuck’s sake. I know that the fact I might still have feelings for him says enough about my relationship and where it’s headed. I think I’ll talk to my therapist before making any huge decisions like breaking up with her. What if this is just some weird, freak thing and I never think about Jack in that way again? What if I was just delirious and excited?

Sometimes, I’m scared I can’t tell the difference between platonic and romantic love. I know that I can tell the difference, but I still worry about it. I’ve fallen for a lot of my friends. I know you know that already. You’ve heard about Reise and Gabe, you haven’t heard about Maggie but I don’t even consider that a real relationship (not that I ever had a relationship with Reise or Gabe, nor would I say I actually loved them so much as had a crush on them). On some level, I think a lot of people fall for their best friends. I’ve heard tons of stories like that, of people who were childhood or college best friends that ended up getting married. On another level, I’m not sure if it’s normal. Maybe I’m overthinking it, but it feels like there might be a pattern. Maybe I like the appeal of already knowing someone and them knowing me before I fall in love with them. Though, I have to say, I definitely don’t think I’m in the minority on that one.

My biggest problem, among the many I have with this situation, is regarding my girlfriend. It’s really not fair to compare her to Jack, because they’re wildly different, but I can’t really help thinking about it. Lani is amazing. We matched on Bumble in December, spent months talking with a few breaks dispersed between, and officially got together a little more than two weeks ago. It’s not in any way serious, either. We’ve only managed to meet up in person the one time, and it was really awkward because we were both nervous. Lately, we haven’t been talking much because she’s been really depressed. I get it, because that’s why some of the months we were talking had breaks, because one of us was struggling with our mental health and couldn’t manage to communicate with anybody. I really like her. The group chat likes her too, she fits in well with my friends. She has so much in common with me too, sometimes it’s kind of hilarious.

I feel horrible about this next part.

A few days after we made things official, I started getting the urge to bail. It’s not because I don’t like her, because I do. It’s not because I don’t want a relationship, because (I think) I do. I’ve been trying to figure it out with my therapist. When I explain it to her, it usually goes like this: we don’t know each other super well yet, I’m still not sure if we have chemistry, and it’d be so much easier to not be in a relationship with anybody. It sounds really awful when I say it, I just mean that taking care of myself is something that I’m finally getting better at, and I don’t know if I’m capable of adding responsibility for another person’s feelings to the mix. Not that I’d even be responsible for her feelings. On some level, yeah, I would be, but not entirely.

There’s been this little voice in the back of my head that tells me to ruin everything and tell her I just want to be friends. I’ve gotten good at ignoring it, because I’m pretty sure it’s just my urge to self-sabotage any good thing that happens to me. And, maybe, that’s what this whole thing with Jack is about. Maybe my brain wants a reason to call things off with Lani, so it recycled old feelings with Jack to throw me off. I don’t think that’s it, but it’s a potential theory.

My therapist says that I don’t like change and I don’t want to get hurt. I know she’s right. I really fucking hate change, that’s not new for me. I don’t even like buying new clothes because it’d disturb the rotation of outfits I already wear (that being the same three t-shirts and five pairs of jeans). This is a really big change, alright? I admit that. I haven’t dated anyone in seven fucking years and the last time I had sex...well, I already told you the situation surrounding that in my last letter. As for getting hurt, I don’t want that either. Nobody wants that. I think the bigger issue is not wanting to be vulnerable. I don’t know if I like the idea of letting Lani get to know me in the ways my friends know me already.  It took years to get to that point and I don’t like opening up about myself. That’s funny to me, because I’m so open with them now, but it’s also a little sad.

The problem is, I think I have to compare Jack and Lani. They’re so different, and it still isn’t fair, but it kind of puts a lot into perspective. Just to get it out of the way: gender doesn’t matter to me, it never mattered to me, and I don’t know if I ever mentioned that to you, but I’m saying it now (surprise!). This isn’t some thing about my sexuality being repressed and me feeling like I have to engage in compulsory heterosexuality by being with a woman, because I truly couldn’t give less of a shit about that. I think this might be about potential.

Right now, my relationship with Lani is new and uncharted territory. Things are awkward and I sometimes feel like I’m walking on eggshells to avoid screwing things up. It’s like that phase of a high school relationship where you’re both still trying to impress each other out of fear they’ll lose interest in you for being yourself. It’s fucking exhausting, and I don’t know how long we’ll be in that phase. She’s also beautiful. She’s really beautiful, and I’m attracted to her, but not in that way yet. The thing is, I don’t know if there will even be a yet, because I can’t picture it. What if I just never end up feeling that way about her? I worry about that a lot, and I’m not sure how much of that is from a lack of truly knowing each other or from what happened to me. I told her, pretty quickly after we made things official, that it was possible I’d never be able to have sex with someone again. She doesn’t care, of course. It’s not some dealbreaker for her. She understood my reasoning behind it after I explained and she wants to take things slow anyway, so sex wouldn’t even be on our horizon for a while regardless of my complicated relationship with it.

I keep circling back, but the issue — the crisis again — comes up when I compare her to Jack. We know each other so well. I’d dare to say, right now, that he probably knows me better than anybody (besides my sister or my cousin, Bella). I never have to worry about him not liking me when I act like myself and I never have to worry about not liking him when he acts like himself. We’ve been friends for so long that we’re never anything but ourselves, and that’s a really freeing feeling. I know it’s just because I’ve known him longer, so it isn’t fair to her to give him that credit, but it makes me feel less anxious, less tired, and I never felt like I had to censor myself with him, even when we just started talking.

Jack is beautiful too. I know he doesn’t feel that way, but everyone thinks it, especially now. He grew his hair out, and it kind of surprised everyone that he has curls. It really suits him, but I’m getting distracted. It makes me embarrassed to say this, but I have felt that way about him before. When I was in the full swing of it, when I used to write you letters, I actually had thoughts like that about him. Those thoughts weren’t all it was, but they came to be a part of it.

He knows what happened to me. He knows all of it. I’d broken down one night and started crying, telling him that I thought I’d been sexually assaulted and couldn’t remember all of the details. He was one of the main people, besides Reise or Bella, who helped me come to terms with it. It’s not a subject that comes up a lot, obviously, but it makes me feel better that I never have to explain. Something horrible happened and now my mind is stained because of it, and he understands.

So, what I’m about to say is really big, and it makes me feel like I’m rotten from the inside out — like I’m a stupid, heinous piece of shit. It makes me feel guilty and horrible and disgusting. I know that I’m disgusting, okay? You can think less of me for it, if you want.

If it ever got to that point, if we ever found ourselves in that situation, I think I could sleep with him. And I don’t mean that I fantasize about us having sex, or that I’m even at a place where I’d want to right now. I just mean that, if it happened, I know it wouldn’t send me spiraling.

Most of the time, when I think about the first time I’ll sleep with someone since my assault, I anticipate it ending in a total and complete disaster. I mean, for fuck’s sake, sometimes I can’t even touch myself without having a panic attack or feeling like his hands are around my throat again. I can’t even begin to imagine what would happen if I had sex again. There are times that I think I could do it, that I want to do it, and other times where I’m sure I would have a meltdown so bad that it would send me back to the hospital. I am a pendulum, and I swing wildly, back and forth, between those two feelings. So, please try to understand me when I say that this is no small admission.

He’d be careful with me. He’d make sure I was okay. He’d probably even be hesitant to do anything until he knew I was going to be one hundred percent okay. None of this is to say that Lani wouldn’t do those things either. I’m not saying I couldn’t grow to trust her like that, it’s just really difficult to grasp. I say that about him because I know, truly, that the last thing he’d ever want to do is hurt me (and, again, not saying that she would want to hurt me). Sometimes, and I hate myself for saying this, I think that he might be the only person I could sleep with after what happened to me. Sometimes, I want him to be that person. I wouldn’t trust anyone else to do it, and it’d mean that much more to me if my feelings toward sex would start to improve because of it. I know that’s horrible. You don’t need to tell me.

All of this makes me feel like I’m poisonous, like I’m a fucked up person who only ever hurts people. I don’t want to feel like this. I feel guilty thinking about Jack in any way more than a friend and then hanging out with him like things are normal. I feel even worse entertaining or acknowledging those thoughts when I have Lani. That’s why this scares me. And maybe it is just some weird, intensive thought. Maybe my brain just decided to throw that shit at me and see what I’d do. I don’t know, and it’s killing me. I don’t even want to know what will happen if those feelings keep up. I don’t want them to. It’ll just ruin everything.

I went out a few minutes ago to see if he was awake yet, and to ask if he wanted anything from the coffee shop my mom is headed to on her way home from getting my sister some balloons. He’s asleep on the couch. It’s 9:17 in the morning and the sun is peeking through the spaces between the slats of the blinds. Light dances, it rains down upon his face in warped lines. He’s smiling, albeit softly, even in his sleep, and he’s the most rested as I’ve ever seen him since he started his newest job (so, eight months). I was quiet when I walked into the living room, just in case he wasn’t up, and I felt seasick at the sight of him.

I read this book last week, the first one I’ve managed to sit through and finish in months. There was this line that really stuck out to me and, right then, it’s all my mind would give me. You know that feeling, when you're watching someone sleep and you feel overwhelmed with joy that they exist? It was all I could think of and it hit me like a freight train, so I turned around and walked straight back into my room without double checking to see if he was awake.

I can’t silently pine over him and act like things are fine. I can’t do that. I won’t. It was so fucking painful the last time and I don’t know if I can handle it again. The worst part about it was that I couldn’t talk to him about it! How was I supposed to vent about loving him and not being loved back without being totally obvious that I was talking about him? It really hurt to keep that secret from him and it ate me alive. It’d only feel worse the second time around.

I hope it’s a fluke. I hope I look back at this letter and chastise my past self for being ridiculous or overdramatic. I hope, even if it isn’t a fluke, that I can force those feelings out of me. I know it didn’t work before, that it took almost a year to get over him, if I did at all, but I hope it would this time. I don’t think my heart could take it otherwise.

I need advice, Charlie. I don’t know what to do. Please, please tell me what to do.

Love Always, Just Nick 06 | 15 | 21

[jellybeanbeing]

Favorite Books of 2019

I got to be honest, I’m a little sad with how short my list is this year. It’s probably because I only read like 30 books this year, but still, I was expecting to have a lot more favorites than I have here. Nonetheless, these books were fantastic and I would like to share my thoughts and opinions about them because they blew me away.

7. A Study in Charlotte by Brittany Cavallaro

*TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING FOR SUBSTANCE ABUSE & RAPE*

I was on a BBC’s Sherlock binge and it just felt right to pick up this book. It was fun, exciting, dark, and humorous. I loved the dynamics between this modern day Holmes and Watson. Though the characters are different from the characters that I know of in the BBC version, they are still deeply rooted in their original characters, and I loved that so much. I also love the growing romantic relationship between Holmes and Watson. It’s not so much of an insta-love but more a slow burn one, and it’s honestly one of my favorites. 

6. Radio Silence by Alice Oseman

This is one of my most recent favorites. I love this book so much. The characters are so relatable and they feel like actual people and TEENAGERS. Oh my god, I love that so much. The way the book was written was so interesting because it was as if the main character Frances was actually telling a story. It kept me intrigued and the entire story felt so personal. The fact that Frances chose to stop the reader and tell them that she and Aled do not fall in love was such a power move, and I loved it. The way that school and education is discussed in this book was something I could relate to. I really loved this book and would highly recommend it. I would like to note that the main protagonist is biracial, and both main characters are LGBTQ+.

5. Call Down the Hawk by Maggie Stiefvater

This is an obvious favorite. I was so nervous about this book because it’s a spin-off, and we all know how badly spin-offs can go, but boy did this book beat those expectations. CDTH does a super well job of expanding characters we already know so well, as well as introducing new characters and making readers care about them. It’s a true gem, and I cannot wait for the next book to come out because what was set up in this first book is freaking chaotic. You can read more in a more spoilery and in depth review I made a few weeks back!

4. I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson

I was so not expecting to love this book as much as I did because I initially started reading this book in 2016, but DNF’d it. I picked it up again, mostly because I thought it deserved a second chance and IT WAS AMAZING. I loved the sibling dynamic between Jude and Noah, and how genuine and real their relationship broke down and then grew back together. I was expecting the so well known “MPDG/MPDB” characters from these two, but they are so far from that. I absolutely loved the romances in this book. It made me gush and cry and have so much anxiety. It was a rollercoaster of emotions, but it was so good. I love this book so much.

3. The Female of the Species by Mindy McGinnis

*TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS FOR RAPE, MOLESTATION, SUBSTANCE ABUSE, HEAVY AND GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, ANIMAL ABUSE, ASSUALT ON WOMEN, AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE AND ABUSE

Alex Craft is literally what makes this book so fucking great. She’s one of my all-time favorite characters. She’s intense, genuine, and just amazing. I also really liked Peekay too. I found an appreciation for her character because I feel like she’s the thing that pulls back the book from being unrealistic. She’s not like Jack who is great at everything, and she’s not like Alex who does illegal and morally wrong things. I found a bit of myself in her, especially when she begins to question her intentions and actions towards the world and the people around her. This is just such an outstanding book with great main characters (minus Jack because he can go choke).

2. On the Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta

*TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS FOR SEXUAL ABUSE OF A MINOR AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE*

I love this book so so much. It makes me cry my heart out and leaves me in so much (good) pain. It’s so hard to pinpoint what it is that I love about it, but I guess I’ll try. I would die for these friendships. The two friendships bring something different to the table and are so unalike each other but they are still so good. With Jude, Narnie, Tate, Webb, and Fitz, they are connected together with a tragedy and they grow from it while Taylor, Jonah, Santangelo, and Raffy connect together unexpectedly when they are supposed to hate each other. Both are beautiful, and I love it. I also really loved the romance, not just between Jonah and Taylor, but also between Narnie and Jude, and Tate and Webb. None of them seemed forced and it happens so naturally. The heavy tone of nostalgia is also something that I love. It is constantly switching back and forth from a past narration to a present narration, and it’s done so well. God, the way the two narrations also come together and begin to make sense is the best and most tragic thing ever. You begin to understand the two stories and how they connect, and it is the saddest thing ever. But yeah, I loved this book and you should read it.

1. The Raven Cycle series by Maggie Stiefvater

My all-time favorite favorite FAVORITE book series. It’s gonna be a hard one to beat. I love the characters, the story, the romantic/familial/platonic relationships, the writing, the world building, EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS BOOK. It’s a series that made me cry, laugh, be angry, have anxiety, feel powerful, feel loved, and feel understood. There is a certain magic in this book that drew me in and kept me there. It’s just so goddamn good. 

[ambitionsource]

AMBITION Season 2 ♫ “Second Choice” [ 2.02 ]

CREATED BY Esther (rapunzles) & Maggie (daphnegolshiri) || S2 Tag || Official Page

TAKE YOUR PICK – The faculty organizes another duet week in an effort to bridge the student divides, but a change in rules creates more problems than solutions. Isadora gets a lesson in honing her inner diva. Harper and Shawn butt heads over how to handle the junior class.

59 Minutes (14.5K+ words) || No warnings apply.

[ ← Callbacks ] [ S2 Synopsis ] [ Are We Out of the Woods → ]

( Follow along with the music on Spotify here! )

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - RILEY’S ROOM - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Happy When I’m Sad” as performed by Jonas Brothers || Instrumental

Close on Riley’s coveted moodboard, only it’s in the process of transition. RILEY MATTHEWS is slowly taking items down, trying to reorient herself in this new world and find her sense of gravity again. If that means starting from scratch, then so be it.

Still, she hesitates as she takes the scrap of notebook paper down from its central spot. The notes she and Lucas were passing back and forth last semester, still boldly declaring “you’re better” in his untidy scrawl.

Riley gazes at it, handling it gently in her fingers. Obviously torn on how to feel about it now in spite of how many times she’s looked to it for inspiration. That, and painfully wistful.

CORY MATTHEWS interrupts her daze, startling her. He asks if she’s ready to go, not catching onto her earlier moment of melancholy. She moves fast and stuffs the note in her pocket, nodding and tossing her bag over her shoulder.

INT. MINKUS HOME - FARKLE’S ROOM - DAY

FARKLE MINKUS is getting ready for the day, scrutinizing himself in the mirror. He’s wearing one of his favorite sweaters, but he’s dissatisfied with how it looks. It’s a little too loose around the middle. He pulls it off in a huff, sorting through his other clothes in his closet.

As he pulls a different selection, the dark fabric of this one allows for clearer imperfections. There are a couple of stray hairs clinging to the cashmere, a slightly more perceptible amount of shedding than one might typically notice.

He hardly focuses on that as he pulls it on over his head. What the dark color does accomplish is a more fitted appearance, so he decides that’ll have to do for now. As his mother calls for him, he runs his hands through his hair one more time in the mirror. Still attempting to maintain that perfectly polished exterior, yet there’s a frayed edge he can’t seem to smooth over.

INT. AAA - DANCE STUDIO - DAY

Bright and early, MAYA HART is in the building before anyone else. She’s in the midst of an intense practice, not giving up any scrap of rehearsal time.

She stretches and moves with expert precision. The only aspect out of shape are her dance shoes, pretty worn and even falling apart in some places. She certainly can’t afford new ones.

Hence why she’s working harder than everyone else. She checks her phone for the time, tightening her ponytail before running through another routine.

INT. FOSTER HOME - KITCHEN - DAY

ISADORA DE LA CRUZ is finishing up a quick breakfast as she gets ready to head out, almost missing KAREN VAN HERSCHING as she enters carrying a crying ADRIEN WOODS. Isadora winces at the noise, but that’s only the beginning of her problems.

Karen questions why she didn’t wake up Ava and Arianna for school. They both overslept, and now they’re likely all going to be late.

Isadora: That’s not… my job?

It’s evident that Karen is not impressed with this response. She reminds Isadora that now that Blue is gone and moved out, she should be pulling more weight to help the family around here. It’s part of the expectations in this household.

Isadora looks less than thrilled about it. She mutters about being late herself and shuffles out, Karen looking after her in disappointment.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

More students are beginning to file in for the day, the hallways becoming lively and filled with chatter. Still figuring out her way around, HARPER BURGESS half-jogs through the halls until she runs into ERIC MATTHEWS. He asks if she’s heading to Jack’s office for their meeting.

Harper: Well, I’m certainly trying.

Eric laughs with her, offering to help guide the way. She questions if he just got here, but he explains he’s been here for a bit. He likes to show up early and get things in order before another full day at AAA -- and boy, has there been a lot to get in order these days.

EXT. AAA - DAY

Skateboarding up the street, DYLAN ORLANDO is on the phone with Asher. He explains that Lucas wasn’t at their usual spot to walk to school, so he doesn’t know where he is. He hopes he’ll still be on time, if he shows up at all.

As Dylan zooms by, focus shifts down the street a little further… around the corner and conveniently out of view, a parked car comes into frame --

INT. ZAY’S CAR - DAY

Which is where we find ZAY BABINEAUX, leaning forward across the median to kiss CHARLIE GARDNER. It’s clear they’ve been here for a hot minute, just out of sight and ready to head into school yet very… distracted.

They exchange a couple more enthusiastic kisses before Zay finally manages to pull away from him, catching his breath.

Zay: We should really go. We’re going to be late.

Charlie: [ humming ] I… think we can take another minute --

Another minute, another kiss. Zay can’t help but laugh, and “another” becomes a handful.

Zay: Oh, so being late isn’t a heavenly sin?

Charlie: [ over Zay’s laughter ] Shut up!

Charlie lightly shoves him and pouts, Zay laughing harder. He takes his face in his hands, making him meet his eyes. Although the mood is playful, there’s no doubt from the way they handle one another that they’re crazy about each other.

Zay: One more minute, then.

It’s difficult to maintain the pout when Zay is looking at him like that. Charlie fails to hold back a smile, allowing him to pull him back into another kiss.

Just as the school bell rings...

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

Eric, Harper, and SHAWN HUNTER are grouped around JACK HUNTER, who is standing behind his desk organizing papers. He thanks them all for being willing to meet so quickly, then states they need to address the tension they’re still grappling with from the first week.

All of the faculty members agree, and Eric echoes Jack’s thought that it’s going to take a more concerted effort from all of them to get everybody back on the same page. Jack opens the discussion to ideas of how to accomplish this task.

Shawn: I’m thinking mortal combat. Throw ‘em in a ring Hunger Games style, last one standing is new top dog.

Jack: Remind me why I haven’t fired you yet.

Eric: Besides, we all know what our odds are and the last thing we need is Lucas taking over and setting the place on fire.

Jack: Or instituting a code of silence in a school for the arts.

Shawn, intrigued: … now that you’ve mentioned it --

Eric & Jack: No, Shawn.

Harper is lagging a bit behind, not accustomed to the faculty banter the way Angela once was. It’s hard to discern what’s serious and what isn’t, so she fires a shot and hopes for the best.

Harper: Have we tried just… speaking to the students?

[ Pointed silence. Shawn gives her a look, crossing his arms. ]

Shawn: Okay, I know you’re new here, but give us a little bit of credit.

She doesn’t appreciate Shawn’s tone, but they’re already moving past it.

Eric: Well, there’s always more paint in storage for another safe tactical --

Jack: NO. We’re still scraping paint off the asphalt in the parking lot from the last time.

Bad ideas aside, Eric reminds them that all things considered, the duet assignment from last semester was a rather effective way to bridge gaps between students. It brought the class closer together before it inevitably… fell apart again, and that same tactic could be just as impactful this time around.

This seems to sit well with the others. Harper obviously doesn’t remember what they’re referring to, but she nods along anyway. Jack declares that it’s settled, they’ll do duets this week. Shawn and Eric agree and leave it at that, heading out.

Harper hangs back for a moment, hoping to ask Jack for advice. But it’s evident from the way he settles into his desk and starts going through work that there is a lot on his plate, so she hesitates. When he lifts his head and asks if there’s something he can do for her she denies it, shaking off the uncertainty and assuring him she’s fine.

Jack: Are you sure? You know you’re always welcome to --

Harper: No, no it’s all good. No worries, I’ll… I can handle it. Thank you, though.

She gives him a confident smile, spinning on her heel and marching off to do just that.

INT. AAA - TECHNICIAN’S BOOTH - DAY

As Isadora enters the technician’s booth, the reason for Dylan missing Lucas becomes clear. It’s because LUCAS FRIAR is cooped up in his nook, still asleep from the looks of it. Given how haphazardly the panel is put to the side, it’s likely he showed up late at night.

Isadora sighs, shaking her head and marching over to him. She shakes him awake, surprised he’s still “in bed” given that the bell has already rung. That’s careless for him, and as she warns him when he grumbles at her and blinks himself awake, next time it’s going to be someone else other than her who finds him like that. Then they’ll have more problems than they already do.

Lucas waves her off, sitting up and starting to pack up. But Isadora made some important points, and she looks both irritated and concerned as she waits for him to get ready.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Maya stops by her locker before class, running into SARAH CARLSON and DARBY WINTERS. While Darby gives her a cheerful greeting, Sarah instead zeroes in on Maya’s decrepit shoes.

Sarah: Might be time for a new pair, Hart. [ a beat ] Oh, wait, that’s not an option, right? Why bother when the illusion’s already been shattered?

Certainly one way to remind us that Maya’s big money facade from last season was blown. She sneers as Darby laughs along, slamming her locker closed and leading the way to class.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

The class is congregating in the front and center section like usual, Isadora and Lucas descending from the booth to join them. Dylan and ASHER GARCIA seem relieved as Lucas comes over to join them, fresh shirt disguising his overnight stay and bedhead hidden behind an increasingly familiar snapback.

Harper and Shawn enter the auditorium, the former taking front and center stage and eagerly getting the attention of the class. She begins to discuss the assignment for the week and what it might entail, when she’s suddenly interrupted by Shawn pulling her back. He tells the class to talk amongst themselves and pulls Harper aside, embarrassing her as he implies that she doesn’t know what she’s doing.

Shawn: I just want to make sure we’re on the same page before you go off saying whatever you’re going to say.

Harper: And you couldn’t have thought to do this… twenty minutes ago? Or any time before right now in the middle of class?

Shawn: There’s just certain things that you need to emphasize if you want this assignment to work. Mostly, they cannot choose their own partners. It will not help the situation.

Harper: What are they, toddlers?

Shawn: Have you met them?

Although Shawn has to be coming from experience, Harper still doesn’t care for the way he’s talking down to her. She nods along to his further notes before taking the stage again… and completely disregarding what he told her. She explains the assignment, and sets them loose to choose their own partners.

It’s instantaneous madness. Shawn is visibly like are you kidding me, but Harper seems proud of herself for standing her own. The chaos has already been unleashed, in any case.

Off Shawn’s mortified expression --

Cue title sequence.

Once the mandate has been laid down, everyone jumps into deciding their partners. Riley turns around and finds Zay, the two of them agreeing to work together as it’s been a while since they had a good team up.

Riley immediately begins brainstorming ideas, but Zay is distracted when he catches Charlie heading out of the auditorium. He offhandedly tells her they’ll catch up later, subtly jogging his way after Charlie. Riley watches him go, reluctantly accepting the dismissal.

Riley, flatly: Sure. No problem.

Panning to the techies, Isadora doesn’t even get the chance to breathe before she’s summoned from center stage. Maya points at her, already ready for action.

Maya: Izzy! Come on. I’ve got a lot of ideas.

It’s not a question, it’s a statement. No room for discussion. Lucas looks more than bothered as she tosses him an apologetic smile and heads towards the stage, obviously expecting things to go quite differently. Behind him, Dylan and Asher begin discussing their take.

Dylan: I’ve got it. It’s perfect. We have to do Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark.

Asher: [ catching his hands and shaking his head ] No, babe, no --

Dylan: I know it was a flop, but I think we could save it. I think we could really do something with it.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Zay catches up to Charlie, who seems surprised he even noticed he left. Zay begins to apologize for partnering with Riley without thinking about it, but Charlie doesn’t seem at all upset.

Zay: You know, she’s just going through it right now and I think she could use a friend in her corner.

Charlie: Oh, hey, no problem. It’s probably for the best anyway, considering…

You know. They both know what goes without saying -- the same factor that has them having this conversation in the hallway alone rather than in front of their peers, or parking down the street to kiss before school. Charlie shrugs off the bleak reminder, remaining positive.

Charlie: Besides, Yindra is a great partner. She agreed we’d be excellent, so long as I promised never to kiss her again.

Zay laughs, coming around to stand in front of him. He speaks softer.

Zay: Well, I don’t have to worry about that, do I?

Charlie, coyly: … no…

It’s a flirtatious little moment, and it’s effectively squandered as a couple of other students exit from the classroom nearby and head down the hall. They don’t pay them any attention but Zay and Charlie still take a couple steps back from one another, shifting into something stiffer.

They conclude that they’ll see each other later, heading off in separate directions as Zay jogs back to the auditorium.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

Harper is gathering her things together for lunch when Farkle pokes his head in. He awkwardly states that he doesn’t see how he’ll be able to complete the assignment this week, given that there’s no one left for him to partner with.

Harper doesn’t seem to buy this, as she’s certain the numbers are right from her last count. Farkle obviously is a bit miffed she doesn’t believe him, so he reiterates the statement again despite not wanting to keep saying it.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

At the same time, Lucas is meeting with Shawn to express the same thing. He has a more blase approach, shrugging and claiming that he supposes he’ll just have to do something else.

Lucas: I mean, you know how not getting to perform is really gonna break my heart.

Shawn: Oh, I didn’t realize you switched your focus to comedy.

Harper and Farkle enter through the wings, coming to find Shawn. He explains that he was just discussing with Lucas what his alternative assignment might be, since he doesn’t seem to have a partner.

Harper: How interesting. Because Mister Minkus just came to me expressing the exact same dilemma. [ Clapping her hands together. ] There you go. Simple solution!

Lucas and Farkle stare at each other, and immediately both of them launch into complaints. No way. Nuh-uh. Not gonna happen.

Farkle: I’d rather be skinned alive.

Lucas: That can be arranged.

Farkle’s eyes widen, looking to Shawn for a life preserver. He steps into the discussion, expressing that knowing these two and their unique dynamic this is probably not a good idea. He insists that Harper should trust him, after two years of being their teacher.

Harper: Is that so? Because what I’m seeing is a problem that two students are experiencing, in which a clear and present solution is sitting right in front of us. A good teacher would perhaps challenge those students to get over their own egos.

Lucas and Farkle both continue to argue, but Harper has had enough of the three of them. It’s only been a couple weeks, and yet they’re all tap-dancing on her last nerve. She lays down the law, stating that it’s either work together or fail the assignment.

Shawn is displeased, and the boys are downright livid. They storm off in their opposing directions, leaving Shawn to ruminate on it as Harper leaves him behind on the stage.

INT. AAA - CAFETERIA - DAY

Isadora is making her way towards the techie table in the courtyard, JADE BEAMON and NATE MARTINEZ waving her over. However, she gets sidetracked by Maya, who swoops to her side and is already buzzing with a million new ideas she’s brainstormed over last period. She’s pulled in her direction without much effort, joining her at her usual table.

EXT. AAA - LUNCH COURTYARD - DAY

Lucas arrives just as they watch Isadora get steered away from them. Jade grimaces. JEFF MONROE makes room for Lucas.

Jeff: Well, that’s an unexpected twist.

Nate: Damn ugly one at that.

Lucas, deadpan: Given how today is going so far, can’t say I’m fucking surprised.

INT. AAA - CAFETERIA - DAY

Isadora joins Zay and Riley at Maya’s table, all of them happy to have her join them. As they launch into eager conversation about what their number might be like, the girls agree that they’ll meet after school at Maya’s place to start rehearsing.

Although unintentional, Riley’s attempts to contribute to the conversation are brushed over. She gives up about halfway through, focusing on her food instead and keeping quiet.

INT. MAYA’S APARTMENT - DAY

So meet up Isadora and Maya do, the latter already launching into a myriad of ideas and energetically going on and on about how their voices should compliment one another and they’ll have no trouble getting Isa up to snuff on her dancing. Isadora tries to keep up, finding ways to get a word in and contribute which Maya eagerly builds upon.

Once they take a second to breathe, Maya states that she’s glad they decided to be partners. There’s an electricity in the air… perhaps a duet is coming on…

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Popular” as performed by Wicked Original Broadway Cast || Performed by Maya Hart (feat. Isadora De La Cruz)

The rendition of the Broadway classic picks up right from the start, Maya declaring that Isadora is going to be her new “project.” As the number unfolds, both girls dance around the apartment, don some of Maya’s fancier knock-off clothes, totally fall into the theatrics of the number.

Just as Maya is giving the declarative “Look at you, you’re beautiful” line, it’s not a fear of the new friendship but a text message that disrupts the number. Isadora checks her phone, reading whatever text she just received and growing panicked. She hastily exclaims she has to go, Maya calling a playful “you’re welcome” after her.

Maya finishes out the song on her own, at as full Galinda power as ever.

EXT. AAA - DAY

Isadora is rushing back up the steps to school, cursing out a “shit” with every step she takes. The sounds of heavy equipment being moved float in...

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

While the performers have vacated the premises the auditorium is buzzing with activity, all of the techies present for their annual technical inventory. Students from every grade are in attendance, the freshmen learning the ropes from the upperclassmen of what goes into one of their most important days of the year.

Lucas is overseeing the inventorying of the items in the construction racks, DAVE WILLIAMS digging through the wood and two-by-fours to shout to him how many pieces they currently have. Lucas makes him count again, reminding him they need an accurate take on all of their materials before Shawn goes and places the order for the year before the first production.

Isadora clambers in and pushes through the underclassmen, searching for Lucas. He rolls his eyes when she spots him, not waiting up for her as he continues his march around with the clipboard she was supposed to be carrying.

Lucas: Look who decided to show up.

Isadora: I’m so sorry. I totally spaced.

Lucas: No kidding. I mean, if you have better things to do --

Isadora: I’m here, aren’t I? What can I do to help? Give me something to do.

Lucas exhales a sigh, shrugging and stating that she can do a walkabout and see who might need help. He feels like they’ve got it covered, though, so maybe she should just go.

Isadora swallows the sting over the dismissal and pushes past it, grasping for a new conversation to ease the tension. She asks him what ended up happening with his assignment, who did he get partnered with? Lucas scowls.

Lucas: I don’t want to talk about it.

INT. MINKUS HOME - DAY

Farkle is seated on the couch in the living room, helping EZRA MINKUS with his homework. Ezra is working hard, but Farkle is zoned out. When his little brother complains about his half-hearted state, he snaps out of it but argues against the fact that he’s acting any sort of way. Regardless, it’s evident that Ezra greatly values the attention of his favorite brother.

JENNIFER MINKUS comes into the living room, jokingly commenting that it’s such a surprise to see Farkle out of his bedroom. He’s been acting too much like Uri as of late. She asks if it’s nice to be back at school and in routine, also seeing how he’s feeling. She touches his forehead to check his temperature.

Farkle shrugs away from the touch, brushing off the topic and instead focusing on school. He complains about the current assignment they’re doing.

Jennifer: Who are you working with, then? Maya?

Farkle: [ with a snort ] I wish. I mean, she wishes. No, I’m stuck with Lucas.

Jennifer: Lucas? Is that the shifty-looking one who used to chase you around during class and threaten you with power tools?

Farkle: Only in theory. But yes.

Jennifer: … well, I suppose it’s nice you’ve become… friends, then.

Farkle looks disgusted at the notion. He goes back to focusing on Ezra’s homework page.

Farkle: Believe me, we are not friends.

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

To that end, Jack is meeting with Lucas to discuss his feelings over being partnered with Farkle. He also takes the opportunity to lightly broach the topic of his absence earlier during the first week and his overall… headspace coming off of how last year ended.

Although it’s the first we’ve seen of Lucas being back in Jack’s office this season, the atmosphere between them is comfortable. Lucas looks perfectly at home in the chair across from Jack’s desk. The friction from the start of last year is long gone, instead building on the familiarity and rapport the two of them started to build during the spring.

Still, that doesn’t mean Lucas is an easy conversationalist. He’s surprisingly aloof about the duet assignment, but it’s a clear projection that Jack can see right through. For all the effort Jack puts into trying to have an honest dialogue, he doesn’t get very far, but it’s clear that he’s taking this unique position he has with a student like Lucas more seriously than before.

Jack: I’m only trying to see where your head’s at.

Lucas: Sure you wanna go down that rabbit hole? [ Cheekily. ] Scary place.

Jack, deadpan: Yes, I’m quaking. [ a beat ] I just want you recognize that I’m listening. There’s a place for you to express your opinions.

Lucas blinks at him, the conversation taking on a more meaningful slant. For a moment, it seems as though he might actually say something of value.

Lucas: … I gotta go.

He doesn’t wait for approval, slipping out the door and back into the crowd transitioning between classes. Jack sighs, sauntering out after him.

INT. AAA - ATRIUM - DAY

As Jack emerges from the front office, he takes a second to look around him. The students running from place to place, the school day continuing on in spite of everything that has unfolded in these halls. He looks at it all with a mixture of pride and exhaustion -- for all the things they’ve built in these walls, there’s so much work to be done.

Something has to make the struggle worth it. Something has to give the job meaning…

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “A Sentimental Man” as performed by Wicked Original Broadway Cast || Performed by Jack Hunter

The song conveys just that, highlighting Jack’s attachment to the school and the students as he wanders the halls. He feels responsible for all of the students in their care, and wants to help them reach their greatest potential with any opportunities they can offer them.

Where the lyrics shift focus to Elphaba, Jack’s focus shifts to Lucas. He watches from afar as Lucas closes his locker and disappears into the crowd, expressing his dedication to making sure he’s taking advantage of all he’s capable of just like everyone else (“Cause I think everyone deserves the chance to fly…”)

Case in point, Jack takes his role at AAA quite seriously, and he intends to zero in on one of their most troubled students. For whatever reason he’s been granted a shred of respect and trust where others have not, and he’s not going to waste it.

As the orchestration peters out, he leisurely makes his way back to the office.

INT. AAA - DANCE STUDIO - DAY

Zay and Charlie are rehearsing together in their usual studio, having put in a good morning workout. Charlie is in the process of stretching while Zay texts with Riley about their assignment, the former teasing him about he doesn’t take his cool down routine nearly serious enough. One day, it’s really going to come back to bite him.

Zay: It’s fine, I know my own body. I’ve got bionic muscles.

Charlie: That can’t be true.

Zay: It’s… it’s a joke. Like bionic… God, you are hopeless.

Charlie changes tracks, noting his frustration about how things are between him and Riley. He feels like there’s a wall up between them ever since the AAAC, and he doesn’t know how to fix it. As Zay comes and takes his hands to help pull him to his feet, Charlie questions if he’d be willing to keep an ear out since they’re working together this week.

Zay: I mean, I’m not going to be your spy or anything, but if it comes up I’ll see what I can figure out.

At this point, Charlie will take anything. He gives him an appreciative nod.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Farkle is at his locker, reading through a text exchange with Lucas (listed simply in his contacts as Jackass.) Given the simple “no” that he sent in response to Farkle’s last message regarding their assignment, it seems like they won’t be doing much work on it at all.

All things considered, Farkle doesn’t seem bothered. He’s resigned as he unloads his books and grabs his rehearsal duffle, surprised when Eric calls to him from down the hall. He asks if he has a moment for a quick chat. From the expression on his face, that seems like the last thing Farkle wants to do, but he obliges.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

It’s clear that Farkle is not at all relaxed in Eric’s usually comforting space. He avoids eye contact as Eric starts a conversation with him, asking how he’s feeling about the new year given everything that unfolded at the end of last semester. They haven’t exactly had the chance to unpack all of that.

Farkle shrugs it off, jittery as he sits under Eric’s psychological microscope. When the focus shifts to his sudden partnership with Lucas, Farkle seizes the opportunity to seem affable and claims that he’ll put in a more pointed effort to get that duet up and running. If it will get the well-meaning counselor off his back, he’ll do just about anything.

Eric starts to double back to everything that remains turned upside from last year, but the bell ringing for class gives Farkle the excuse to bolt. He requests a late pass, already gearing up to get the hell out of there.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Charlie, YINDRA AMINO, and Zay are talking on stage when Riley wanders over to join them, intending to discuss the project with Zay. There’s an awkward beat as she acknowledges Charlie, but avoids looking at him any further through the duration of the conversation.

However, the universe has other plans. In the midst of discussing their song choice, Dylan flutters over and starts to drag Zay away, reminding him that he agreed to help him and Asher with the staging of their assignment. Yindra also gets distracted, NIGEL CHEY pulling her into a different discussion. Suddenly, it’s just Riley and Charlie, stuck in conversation after not speaking to one another for months.

Charlie speaks first, trying to find a clever way to break the ice. It doesn’t work, so he instead switches into apologizing about everything with the AAAC.

Charlie: Look, I’m sorry about the Instagram. I shouldn’t have done what I did. Everything just blew up so fast, and --

Riley: Charlie, please, stop. I get what you’re trying to do, trust me. I’ve been attempting to smooth things over because of that stupid page basically since summer. But I’m not… I’m not ready to deal with this yet. With you.

Charlie is evidently disappointed. He wants to fix it, but he doesn’t know how. Especially given that he can’t give her a good reason for why it happened.

Riley: I can’t even figure out why you would -- I’m just not there yet. To forgive you, let alone forget. I’m sorry.

Either way, he can take a hint. He nods and backs off, Zay returning just in time to get a full dose of the strain. He tries to say something to ease the tension, but Riley simply tells him they’ll catch up later and excuses herself.

In the house, Farkle is straggling after Lucas and attempting to negotiate with him as they walk through the aisles towards the booth. Although he isn’t keen to do the assignment either, he thinks they need to do something just to get everyone off their backs.

Lucas: Look, pick whatever stupid loud song you wanna do, and I’ll put the spotlight on you and we’ll call it a day. There. Assignment finished.

Solid plan, but Farkle still isn’t convinced. Although he’s stuck with his least favorite person, he’s dying to have an actual conversation with someone rather than continuing to stay isolated. It’s a paradoxical dilemma, and he ends up suggesting they still meet to go over logistics anyway.

Lucas does his equivalent of a feral cat growl, but agrees. He can set the place to meet and he’ll give him fifteen minutes of his time.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Zay and Riley are leaving the auditorium together, deciding where they’ll meet for their after school rehearsal. For once it seems as though Riley has his full attention… until Maya swoops in, asking for help with her and Isadora’s choreography. She pulls him away, Riley somehow alone in the hall again.

She hesitates, looking around her and not knowing where to go. She spots CLARISSA CRUZ, HALEY FISHER, and Darby together chatting and starts in that direction, but they disperse before she can get close enough to join them. It’s a no go on the techies, seated on the steps outside the side entrance to the auditorium. It’s a no on Farkle, standing at his locker alone.

It’s a no on Lucas, although Riley clearly wishes it wasn’t. She watches from afar as he shuts his locker and takes off in the opposite direction, not even casting a backwards glance in her direction. With a sigh, she wanders over to her locker.

Inside the door, it’s practically a relic of the way things used to be. There are pictures from the past year much like Farkle’s locker, only the way Riley’s are arranged demonstrate the care and love she puts into maintaining them. It’s evidence of a different time, when she felt like she knew who she was and who her friends were.

She hesitates on a photo of her, Lucas, and Isadora, then drifts to one set up right below it. It’s solely of Lucas, taken sometime around last year’s duet assignment when they were spending a lot of time together alone. Feels like a million years ago.

Riley glances to her phone, finding the message thread between the two of them. The last messages were sent months ago -- early in the summer, apologies from Riley and a plead to talk about things that went unanswered.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Talk To Me” as performed by Bye Bye Birdie! Original Broadway Cast || Performed by Riley Matthews (feat. Asher Garcia, Nigel Chey, Charlie Gardner, and Nick Yogi)

As Riley closes her locker, she leans back against the metal and launches into the melancholy Broadway tune. It concisely captures her frustration with the situation at hand -- hoping that Lucas can’t just be completely over her, knowing that if they just had the chance to talk things through things might be different.

This is accented by different cuts to Riley watching him from afar and wondering the same things; in class, in the auditorium, separated by the courtyard windows during lunch. It’s similar to her former 50s crooner in 1.07, although the circumstances are more fraught than the simplicity of back then.

The barbershop quartet comes in the form of Asher, Nigel, Charlie, and Yogi, who saunter into the hall behind her and provide the vocal backing for her musical plea. They’re dressed in matching color-coordinated vests, obviously not an actual presence in the scene but more so a figment of Riley’s imagination.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

They also serve the purpose of dancing with Riley, intercut through the other sequences. It’s all reminiscent of the dancing she used to do with Lucas -- up to the grand swell about 2 minutes in where her imagination fills in that gap. For a brief reprieve, it is Lucas dancing with her…

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Until reality disrupts the dream. Riley nearly rams into Lucas in the hallway, him catching her from stumbling on instinct. There’s a moment where they lock eyes, all of the potential in the world between them…

Then Lucas walks away. He slides past her, leaving her standing there.

The quartet takes over the last vocals as Riley ends up back where she started, alone in the hallway with nowhere to go. She’s stranded herself, and the only person she truly wants to talk to is the one already walking away.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “God Is A Woman” as performed by Ariana Grande || Instrumental

Ariana is playing through Isadora’s bluetooth speaker, banged up and cheap but gets the job done. She and Maya are walking through steps for a potential routine to the pop hit, the latter speeding through it and enthusiastically discussing how certain elements will work in the final performance.

Farkle enters through the dressing room doors just as they’re running through steps for the chorus. He hangs back in the shadows and watches from the wings, witnessing his own replacement happening in real time.

Isadora is doing her best to keep up. Interestingly enough, she’s starting to look a little bit more like Maya -- her hair has been styled with more care than usual, and the color palette of her outfit is lighter, complementing the pink and white that Maya wears. Her lips have a bit of a shine to them, the most neutral lip gloss Isa could find amongst Catherina’s extensive makeup collection.

But she’s nowhere near at the same rehearsal level as the reigning diva yet, so she gives up about halfway through and claims she can’t do this. Maya jogs and pauses the music.

The two of them debrief, Maya offering to walk Isadora through whatever steps she might be having trouble with. But it’s not the routine itself, it’s everything. It’s just a lot  to adjust to at once, so she just needs some time to get used to it. She’ll keep practicing, but it isn’t clicking right now. Maya grants her the right to take a break, Isadora heading out through the other doors by the costume loft.

Farkle waits until Maya is alone to make himself known, stepping into the stage lights and making snarky commentary on how her new pet project doesn’t seem to be going so smoothly. She brushes him off and continues to gather her things.

But he doesn’t want the conversation to end. This is the most attention she’s paid him in weeks, and he doesn’t want to let it go. So he keeps it going the only way he can think of by digging the knife in further, insinuating that she must’ve had to stoop low if she had to go through the techies to try and find someone to replace him.

Maya turns on him, giving him her full attention as she tells him off. Despite what he might believe, she’s not using Isadora, and certainly not to fill some void he thinks he left. He shouldn’t flatter himself that much importance.

Maya: Izzy isn't just some “project” for me. Believe it or not, I don't compartmentalize my friendships by how they most benefit me.

The tension takes on a familiar slant, a competitive edge emerging that needs to be expressed through music. Clarissa and Haley enter together with their cellos just as Farkle and Maya are staring each other down, claiming that they booked the auditorium for this time slot. So what are they doing there? And aren’t they not partners this week?

Maya states they’re just in time, as they can help wrap this all up. When Haley is like “but we came to rehearse our thing,” Maya doesn’t seem bothered.

Maya: Consider it a warm-up… if you can keep up.

Clarissa and Haley roll their eyes, but they settle in anyway. The faster they can let them get out their antics, the faster they can actually rehearse.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Smooth Criminal” as performed by Glee Cast || Performed by Farkle Minkus & Maya Hart (feat. Clarissa Cruz & Haley Fisher)

Clarissa and Haley carry the heft of this number on their cellos, Maya and Farkle parading around them and channeling all their frustration with one another into the vocals. It’s an electric duet, and for what it’s worth, it’s the most energized Farkle has seemed since the school year started. There’s actual passion behind the performance, which he’s been lacking for some time.

It’s also undeniable that the two of them make excellent partners. They’re perfectly matched, as they have been since they met. There’s no one else who challenges them like the other to raise the bar, and there’s an appreciation of the other’s talent present despite how at odds they are.

But one quick duet isn’t going to set things right. Although Farkle seems to have gotten something meaningful out of the exchange, he’s obviously surprised when Maya continues to dismiss him as soon as they’re wrapped. She gathers her things and floats out with no more than a short goodbye.

Farkle swallows, not taking the rejection well. Clarissa and Haley break him out of it, asking if he can leave already so they can rehearse. Haven’t they done enough?

Backing off, he makes a dash for the dressing rooms.

INT. AAA - BOYS DRESSING ROOM - DAY

Given his shaken state, Farkle seems to be taking this harder than just a duet gone sour. He stumbles into the dressing room, leaning against the counter and trying to calm his breathing. His hands are shaking.

He lifts his gaze, looking at himself in the mirror. It doesn’t seem like he likes what he sees. He curses under his breath, suddenly feeling like it’s a thousand degrees. He pulls off his sweater, leaving him in his plain tee as he crumbles into a sitting position against the mirror and haphazardly bundling the garment in his hands.

Above him, the wall clock ticks to a new minute --

INT. AAA - PRACTICE ROOM - DAY

Just as the clock in the practice room does, where Lucas is sitting alone. He glances around him with mild interest and obvious distrust, having never been in this part of the school before. He taps his feet impatiently, checking his watch.

Clearly, Farkle isn’t coming. Rolling his eyes, Lucas gets to his feet. He takes some of the writing utensils from the communal stash just because he can, kicking at the piano bench for good measure before marching out.

INT. GARDNER HOME - LIVING ROOM - DAY

Charlie is seated on the couch with his homework, half paying attention while ROSIE GARDNER and DAISY GARDNER watch a show together. Daisy is playing with their beagle SKIPPY on the floor in front of the couch, making a face at something that plays out on screen.

Daisy: Why the heck did that happen? That doesn’t make any sense.

Rosie: It’s network TV, it doesn’t have to make sense.

To Rosie’s curiosity, Charlie doesn’t seem all that interested in the show. He’s focused on his phone instead, rereading his last text from Zay. He’s asking if he’s alright after the weird exchange he and Riley must’ve had, given how off things felt when he walked back over.

He wants to talk to him about it, but he’s not just going to give him a call while hanging out with his sisters. Especially not when they’re so nosy.

Rosie: Who are you texting?

Charlie: Huh? What? No one.

Rosie: Yeah you are. Your messages are open.

Charlie: Am I typing? No.

Daisy: Why are you acting surprised? He’s always on his phone.

Charlie: No I am not.

Rosie: Yeah you are. You basically live on it. It’s like you’re in love with it.

Daisy: [ laughing ] Charlie has a girlfriend.

Charlie: Shut up, no I don’t.

Daisy: Yeah you do. The phone.

Rosie: I don’t know where, but I’m positive there has to be something in the Bible about how love between man and technology is unholy.

Charlie: I bet if you look hard enough, you’ll find the verse where it says you’re annoying.

Daisy: Being annoying isn’t a sin. I’ve checked.

Both Rosie and Charlie seem to want to know more about that, but ELEANOR GARDNER entering interrupts the conversation. She explains what she’s planning on making for dinner, and then offhandedly mentions that someone needs to walk Skippy.

A lightbulb goes off for Charlie. He loudly volunteers to do it, demonstrating a little too much enthusiasm for something like walking their family beagle. But aside from judgmental expressions from his sisters, the moment passes without question. Charlie whistles for Skippy to follow him, going to grab the leash.

INT. AAA - DANCE STUDIO - DAY

Zay and Riley have convened for rehearsal, in the midst of walking through some harmonies together. It’s clear that Riley is enjoying the quality time. At least if everyone else seems to have inevitably lost interest in her, she still has her first friend.

After they decide on a certain chord progression, Zay subtly changes the subject and asks about what happened in class today. When he came back to work, things seemed pretty icy between her and Charlie. Riley doesn’t want to talk about it, but after a little bit of prodding she admits to the fact that it’s hard to warm up to him again. Not only because he so blatantly used her without any sort of signs, but more so because she has no clue why he did it. It would be easier to grapple with if she had a sense of closure around it, or a clear motive.

Zay obviously wants to grant her that, but he knows it’s not his place. He grows distracted anyway, getting a text from Charlie asking if he can meet him on his walk with Skippy. Zay jumps at the opportunity and tells Riley he has to go, promising they’ll pick this back up tomorrow. He’s booking it before she can argue against it, once again leaving her in the dust.

INT. CHUBBIE’S DINER - DAY

Maya saunters into the diner, nodding at some of the familiar busboys before hopping up to the counter to chat with KATY HART. Her mother senses her mood before she even opens her mouth, asking if something happened at school.

Maya goes on to lament the situation with Farkle as Katy slides a slice of pie across the counter towards her. She immediately digs in, accenting her frustration with stabs of her fork. She recounts the encounter with Farkle and derides his accusation that she’s simply replacing him with Isadora.

Katy: Well… do you feel like that’s what you’re doing?

Maya: No. No, I’m not. God forbid I like other people or make new friends. Maybe I like Isadora because she’s badass and talented and could also kill a man if she had to.

Katy: Ah, the true quality of a good friendship…

Maya: It’s not fair. It’s not fair of him to waltz in and act like I’m the one being shady when he’s the one who blew everything up in the first place. And then make it feel like a crime to move on. I shouldn’t have to feel bad about dropping someone who I don’t trust.

Katy is, of course, on Maya’s side. She agrees wholeheartedly, and even states that she likes that she’s branched outside of her usual circle. Isadora seems like a nice change of pace, and it’s always beneficial to make a friend who can teach you something rather than reflect the world you’re already familiar with.

On the other hand, she points out that there’s a whole side to this experience that Maya doesn’t know about. Neither of them have any idea what’s going on with Farkle, and it’s possible that his actions are less about her and more about his own attempts to grapple with the situation.

Katy: It’s impossible to know why people do the things they do until they tell you. And most of the time, it’s rarely a cut-and-dry reasoning anyway. There are so many different motivating factors at play, especially at your age.

Maya doesn’t seem convinced, stabbing at the pie and taking a grumpy bite. Katy finishes her musing, going on to state that nine times out of ten, people are acting out of their own insecurities rather than anything to do with the people who they’re confronting. Could be fear, could be jealousy, could be self-preservation…

EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - DAY

Charlie is walking along with Skippy, distracted as he waits for Zay to show up. He nearly jumps out of his skin when Zay sneaks up behind him, poking him in the ribs and surprising him. Charlie elbows him as he falls into step beside him, beginning to discuss what he wanted to talk about in the first place.

Zay gets right to the point, stating that he thinks Charlie should consider just… telling Riley the truth. It’s hard for her to hear him out when she has literally no clue why he even did it, and most of the reasons she’s probably contemplating make him look far worse than making her his unwitting beard for a sense of protection.

As logical as this reasoning is, Charlie does not seem ready to consider such a notion.

Charlie: What? No. I can’t do that.

Zay: Dare I ask, why not? I mean, not like why, I know why obviously.

Charlie: Yeah.

Zay: But like, Riley Matthews is the last person you should be concerned about knowing. She’s like the nicest human being alive, and also is part of the community. And I seriously doubt she’d ever say anything to anyone if you didn’t --

Charlie cuts him off, not able to wrap his head around it. He wants to make things right with her, but that kind of option is off the table. Zay seems a bit frustrated with this mindset, as it doesn’t bode well for their relationship if he’s still so deeply entrenched in keeping all of it a secret… but he also understands. Of course he does.

It’s a complicated situation, and there is no easy solution. So they’ll keep walking the tightrope, looking for compromises along the way…

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

The techies are convened at their usual spot in the back section, chatting in the morning before class. Isadora comes to visit them, but she looks different. She’s suddenly looking a lot more like a Maya carbon copy, her makeup enhanced with a darker lip gloss and eye makeup. Her outfit is made up of borrowed clothes from Maya and Catherina -- a high-waisted denim skirt with sheer dark tights, and dark sweater with a collar peeking out, a sparkling butterfly brooch pinned to the right lapel.

Lucas descends from the booth, decidedly disturbed as soon as he sees her. He asks her what the hell happened to her, and she claims she’s just trying a new look. Stretching her sense of style.

Nate: More like getting swallowed by it.

Isadora isn’t sure how to defend herself. To be honest, it’s not the worst to be dressed confidently like Maya, but she’d be lying if she claimed it felt true to her. Lucas can’t even look at her, pushing past her and heading out.

Lucas: If you’ll excuse me, I have to go bash my head into the wall until I wake up from this nightmare. Let me know when you’ve stopped being possessed by mini-Christina.

Dave: Applegate? I thought she was great in Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel.

Asher: … I think he means Aguilera.

Dave: Oh.

Once Lucas is gone, Asher and Dylan assure Isadora that they think she looks fine. Jade agrees, even offering to help personalize it with some more Isa-like touches if that would be ideal. Isadora contemplates it, telling her she’ll get back to her on that.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

Shawn comes by Harper’s classroom, sauntering in as he announces that it seems the Lucas and Farkle “simple solution” isn’t going so well. How does he know? Because Lucas just informed him that Farkle blew off their second attempt at a meeting.

Shawn: Still so sure about your brilliant little fix?

Harper is unimpressed by his condescending attitude, sticking to her guns. She rises to her feet, coming around her desk to speak plainly with him.

Harper: So you would rather bend to their poor behavior and reward them for it, rather than, I don’t know… teach them to get along? Or punish such bad antics?

Shawn, seriously: Listen. There’s a very delicate balance at play here with these students that you don’t understand. The least you could do is take the advice of those who know better than you.

To be fair, Shawn isn’t entirely wrong. But his delivery is terrible, and Harper grows offended at the insinuation. Before she can retort, Clarissa and Haley arrive to complain about how Maya and Farkle used their rehearsal space unfairly.

This is about the tenth time Harper has taken a specific complaint about Farkle Minkus. She starts to construct a solution for them to consider, but Shawn intervenes and offers his own two cents. Once again talking over her without giving her the chance to learn the ropes or contribute.

Haley and Clarissa thank Shawn, not caring about who gives them the advice. Shawn tosses Harper one more stressed look, warning her to think a little as he storms out.

Oh, boy, is she going to think a little. And more than that, she’s going to take action.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Harper has pulled both Lucas and Farkle aside after class is dismissed for lunch, informing them that they’ll both be spending the break in detention in her classroom. Given that neither of them have provided her updates about their project, she’s certain they could use the designated collaboration time. That way, perhaps, they’ll at least scrape together a passing grade.

Both of them seem less than enthused, glaring at each other.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Riley is heading towards the lunchroom, but looking through the doors at all her classmates milling about and continuing on with or without her, it suddenly feels like too much. She spins on her heel and heads in a different direction.

INT. AAA - CORY’S CLASSROOM - DAY

Riley pokes her head in, finding Cory opening lunch at his desk. He seems surprised but happy to see her, granting her an invitation to join him when she asks if she can come in. He playfully questions why she would bother to do such a thing, giving her the opportunity to unpack what’s going on.

She sort of expresses her current feelings of isolation, explaining the general idea of the problem at hand and how she feels kind of left behind. Some of her friendships aren’t in the shape they used to be, and she doesn’t have a sense of belonging anymore.

Cory, being the dreamer that he is, encourages her to keep putting her best foot forward. In his opinion, the best thing she can do is to keep her chin high and refuse to be ignored. Not let those friends go without a fight, if they’re truly friends she wants to keep.

It’s well-meant and thoughtful advice, but nothing he hasn’t told her before. Riley seems disillusioned as she starts to chew on her lunch.

INT. AAA - CAFETERIA - DAY

Maya and Isadora are eating lunch together, sharing a table with Zay, Nigel, and Yindra. They’re dissecting the problem of progressing on their duet, Isadora admitting that part of it is that this is the first true performance she has to give in front of the class. Let alone alongside someone as strong as Maya. She’s just not prepared for it.

It’s stage fright, plain and simple. Maya claims she just needs to stop overthinking it, that no one is going to be focused on anything but how awesome they are. An idea seems to strike her as she’s explaining how to accomplish just that… that all Isadora needs to do is break the initial performance anxiety. And, well...

Maya, deviously: No better time than the present.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Looking At Me” as performed by Sabrina Carpenter || Performed by Maya Hart (feat. AAA Juniors)

Pushing up from the table, Maya launches us into our first big blowout number of the season. She playfully begins the iconic pop anthem, pulling her classmates into the fun as she goes and relaying the message loud and clear -- Isadora has nothing to worry about, because everyone will be looking at her anyway.

The lyrics “Don’t just stand there staring, honey, try to move your feet,” are directed at her duet partner, tugging Isadora into the fray and giving her the encouragement to just lose herself in the number. The two of them dance together a fair amount throughout the jam session.

The other reason it’s such a major number is because it’s the first number that loosely incorporates everyone. It carries the same energy as “Dancin’ On the Sidewalk” from all those months ago, only there’s no Lucas around to set off the alarm. And maybe he should be, because the performance is definitely fire.

The dancing has kicked up ten notches. Maya has small moments with Zay and Charlie, who also serve to lead other groups. The two of them also dance a little with each other, although evidently less comfortably than we know they could. Maya spins Isadora to dance with other fellow performers, and while she stumbles a bit at first, the more she gets into it the more confident she becomes. She’s engaging with others, focusing less on what they’re thinking and just having fun.

And when Lucas is away, the techie tots will play. There are a couple key shots of Asher and Dylan dancing together, charming as ever but also showing off that they’re maybe... actually good performers? Dave and Nate are grooving on the table tops. Nigel pulls Jade into a spin, getting her to join the dance. Jeff does some signature break-dancing.

It’s energetic. It’s a showstopping vocal from Maya, who ends it on a split with a hair flip and wink. It’s fun more than anything else, which feels groundbreaking for a semester that has felt so heavy with unresolved tension.

Now we’ve truly kicked off the season.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

The fun is not being felt in the black box, where Lucas and Farkle are trapped for detention. They’re sitting in silence, Farkle keeping his head down and waiting for the torture to cease.

Lucas isn’t making it easy. His version of whittling time away involves tapping his pencil, restless and fidgety as they wait for their sentence to end. He’s like a one-man drum show. Farkle lifts his head in irritation, glaring at him even though Lucas hardly pays him any attention. It takes Farkle snapping to get him to stop, startling him enough to drop the pencil.

Farkle grumbles about how of course he had to get stuck with the worst human being at AAA. Lucas claims that’s rich coming from him, pointing out that it��s both of them that are stuck in here alone with one another.

Lucas, mockingly: Maybe, in some sick, twisted way, we’re not so different. That’s what they want us to learn, isn’t it?

Farkle: Don’t make me laugh. Like I would ever be compared to you. I’m not so immured by self-satisfaction and smugness that I can’t recognize how useless I am.

[ Lucas doesn’t seem irritated by this assessment. He smirks, nodding along as Farkle reads him for filth. ]

Farkle: I don’t try to bring everybody else down to my level by constantly tearing down their passions until all that’s left is my insatiable need to burn down every good thing that crosses my path just for the sake of chaos. Just to fucking feel something other than my own overwhelming mediocrity that’s going to keep me directionless and alone for the rest of my sorry existence.

Lucas: … maybe so. But I think I should point out that it’s both of us who were deemed too unbearable by the rest of our peers.

Farkle glowers at him until he can’t stomach his detached expression any longer, looking away and gritting his teeth. While they may hate one another, the fact of the matter is so does everyone else. So there they are, stuck in hell together and facing the consequences.

The silence is suffocating with the truth eating away all the oxygen in the room. When the bell rings it’s an immediate relief, Lucas jumping to his feet.

Lucas: Well, I think we can both agree this assignment is not fucking happening. Guess we’ll be taking the L.

Farkle: … maybe so.

Lucas nods, not wasting another second to get away from him. Farkle doesn’t move nearly as fast, still processing the reality Lucas forced him to confront.

INT. HARPER’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Harper is having dinner with her girlfriend, STELLA CASTILLO (27). She’s also a former alumni of AAA, and their dynamic somewhat seems to mirror Isadora and Maya in terms of personality. Stella is lively, opinionated, and not at all impressed by the behavior of Shawn and the students as Harper laments the treatment she’s been navigating.

Stella gives Harper the pep talk she’s been needing, reminding her that she’s perfectly qualified to be in this position. She needs to trust her gut.

Stella: Look, you know about Triple A, alright? You endured that school, you survived it, which is way more than John or whoever can say for himself.

Harper: Shawn.

Stella: Like it matters. The point is that you’re a badass, you’re in control, and you should not be bending to the criticism of some grumpy white dude who thinks he’s the authority on a job his older brother gave him when he was having his mid-life crisis.

True words, even if the nuances to the situation are a bit more complex. Harper thanks her, taking her hand and allowing her to lean forward and give her a kiss.

Still, the universe seems to disagree…

Jack, pre-lap: This has nothing to do with your ability.

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

Jack is meeting with Harper before school. From the expression on his face it’s evident he’s apologetic, whereas she simply seems peeved. She’s squinting at him, attempting to keep up with their conversation.

Jack: Believe me, I hired you for a reason. You know I think you’re more than capable of handling this job. But Shawn is correct in that this crop of students… they’re a unique group, like I’ve said. He might be right in that it could help for you to pay attention to --

Harper: So, what? Your baby brother decided to come crying to you about things not going his way, rather than discussing it with me like an adult?

Jack assures her that he’s not on anybody’s side, and he just wants to find a way for them to work effectively together and in a way that best benefits the students. But Harper is so angry at that point she sort of tunes him out, simply smiling and nodding along.

INT. AAA - ATRIUM - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “I Can Do Better” as performed by LOVA || Performed by Harper Burgess

As Harper emerges from the office, the opening whistles ease us into this sassy “fuck you” of a feminist anthem. As she marches through the halls in her leather-clad, badass fury, there is a certain power to her finally expressing all of her resentment towards the men who have been giving her grief since she stepped into the position (even in spite of all the complexities to each situation).

The AAA girls back her in passing, echoing the empowering sentiments. It’s a simple arrangement, but Harper’s delivery alone packs a real punch.

INT. AAA - GIRLS DRESSING ROOM - DAY

Isadora is in the dressing room when Riley arrives that morning, the two of them hesitating when they see one another. It’s been a hot minute since they’ve actually had direct contact, and although both of them don’t seem unhappy to see the other, they have no idea where they stand.

Riley makes a small joke about her new look, admitting that she actually thought she was Maya for a second. Although the comment is harmless, after enduring similar commentary all week long Isadora finds herself snapping at her. She’s sick of everyone making those judgements and throwing their opinions at her.

Riley is quick to apologize, explaining that she didn’t mean anything by it. Awkward silence settles between them again, but it’s clear that Isadora feels bad about the way things are.

Isadora: I… I don’t know how to handle this situation.

Riley: I know.

Isadora: With you, and with Lucas --

She cuts herself off, not even sure she should bring him up around her. Riley nods along, already knowing where this conversation is heading. Another dismissal. Before Isadora can say anything more, she beats her to it.

Riley: I just… I know how easy it is to get caught up in being someone else because you think it’ll make things easier. It’s easier to be someone else, sometimes… but I gotta tell you, the Dora I knew? [ a beat ] She’s already tough to beat.

Riley offers one more tight smile, finishing dropping her things. She leaves Isadora alone, hanging on that moment of kindness in spite of the strain.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

Harper marches into her classroom, still steaming. Farkle is there, waiting for her to inform her that he and Lucas weren’t able to reach an agreement. He doesn’t think he’ll be turning in anything this week after all.

Whereas this behavior might’ve flown with Angela, it’s not going to fly with Harper. Especially not now, when it feels like the entire world is against her. So Farkle inevitably ends up on the other end of all her anger, receiving a true verbal lashing.

Harper: Oh, is that so? You just don’t think it’ll happen? That all?

Farkle: I’m just saying, given the circumstances you forced me into --

Harper: No, no, I won’t be taking your blame, Mister Minkus. I don’t know what kind of treatment you’re used to from Miss Moore, but I’m not here to cater to your petulance. I’m here to teach you, which you might have known had you deemed it worthy to show up on the first day.

Farkle, stunned: I… I was sick --

Harper: Well, here’s your quick make-up lesson. There will be no more doing whatever you damn well please. I knew students just like you when I was enrolled here, Mister Minkus. You’re nothing new. And believe it or not, that horrible attitude of yours isn’t going to get a pass anymore.

[ Farkle is speechless. He looks a little sick as Harper concludes her tirade. ]

Harper: This isn’t last year. I’m not Miss Moore. And whether we like it or not, you better get ready for a whole lot of change.

Harper storms out, on her way to the auditorium. Farkle is shell-shocked, standing there in horror… until he suddenly bolts out of the door.

INT. AAA - BOYS BATHROOM - DAY

Farkle ducks into a stall just in time to vomit, whole body shaking as he collapses back against the wall. Only he’s not alone, which he discovers after the initial panic passes through him.

Charlie: … Farkle?

Farkle closes his eyes, cursing lightly to himself. When he pushes to his feet and emerges from the stall, Charlie is there at the sink and watching him warily. He tries to question if he’s okay, but Farkle ignores him and focuses on rinsing out his mouth at the adjacent sink.

Charlie can tell there’s something more going on than just an upset stomach. He’s familiar with the feeling, after all. He tries to find a way into the conversation, searching for a commonality to utilize as a bond.

Charlie: I get that this year isn’t turning out like we probably thought. [ sardonically ] I guess the confessions page didn’t do either of us any favors, huh?

Farkle is unimpressed by his attempt at bonding. In fact, the comparison sort of seems to piss him off. He turns on him, narrowing his eyes.

Farkle: Actually, I don’t think it’s quite the same. Because I didn’t feel so insecure in my own masculinity that I had to submit fake relationship posts about myself just to feel good, or maybe feel like I’m not just a background character in my own life.

Yikes. That’s a deep cut, and Charlie gets the message to back off. Farkle wipes his mouth with a paper towel and takes a deep breath, defaulting to defensive because it’s increasingly becoming all he knows how to be.

Farkle: So, no. I don’t think you have any idea.

Farkle flurries out. Although it’s clear his words stung, concern still lingers in Charlie’s features. Like he can sense something about the situation isn’t quite right.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - NIGHT

In a rare moment, Riley manages to catch TOPANGA LAWRENCE when she’s at home. She’s just finishing up a business call, pleasantly greeting Riley as she comes to join her at the kitchen table. Riley isn’t sure what she’s searching for as she starts the conversation -- advice, or maybe to simply be acknowledged by someone -- but she ends up asking for more time with her.

Riley: I know you’ve been doing a lot of small things with Auggie, and everything, so I was thinking that… I don’t know, maybe you and I could also --

Topanga: Oh, yes. Yes! Riley, I would love to do something. Some mother-daughter quality time would be spectacular.

Riley lights up, obviously happy about her mother’s enthusiasm. They begin attempting to sort out dates, although that quickly throws a wrench into things before they even get off the ground. Where Topanga is free this weekend, rehearsals for the musical are kicking up. When Riley is free, Topanga is balancing major trial meetings.

Topanga: Okay, I love this idea. But can we come back to this? Put a pin in it? I’ve just got a lot of stuff up in the air right now, I’ll be able to give it more focus after this deposition is wrapped and our divorce is fully finalized…

Riley internalizes her disappointment, giving her a smile and assuring her it’s no problem. Topanga reaches across the table and pats her arm, effectively ending the conversation.

INT. GARDNER HOME - CHARLIE’S ROOM - NIGHT

Charlie is on the phone with Zay, pacing his room as they talk. It’s clear that seeing Farkle so wigged out earlier really got to him, so he’s confronting some of his stressors head on.

Charlie: I just wanted you to know how sorry I am about how… weird all this has been. With my stupid thing. I know it’s been impacting… what we have.

Zay: It’s not stupid. You know I get it.

Charlie: Yeah, I know, but… [ with a sigh ] things were so much easier when school wasn’t a factor. I know I’ve been coming off like how you feel about this isn’t important, and that’s not true. I don’t feel that way. I wish it didn’t feel that way.

Zay continues to assure him that it’s fine, but his responses sound admittedly a little distracted. Charlie continues to pace, coming to lean against the door to his balcony.

Charlie: I just wish… in an ideal world, things would be different. We could just… be what we are, and we could be doing a duet together this week. Couldn’t it be that easy?

Zay: Well, don’t count that out just yet.

Charlie frowns, asking what he’s talking about. Zay tells him to come outside.

EXT. GARDNER HOME - CHARLIE’S BALCONY - NIGHT

Charlie steps out onto his balcony, stunned to see Zay jogging down the street. He’s both happy and horrified to see him, immediately shushing him as he greets him from down below.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Tonight” as performed by West Side Story Original Cast || Performed by Zay Babineaux & Charlie Gardner

In homage to the sequence in the Broadway classic, Charlie and Zay exchange an effortless back and forth reminiscent of the original film as the orchestra underscores them.

Zay: Come down.

Charlie: No. Are you crazy?

Zay: Just for a minute.

Charlie: [ gazing at him ] … a minute is nowhere near long enough.

Zay: For an hour, then.

Charlie: I can’t.

Zay, with humor: Then forever!

Charlie shushes him again, glancing over his shoulder to make sure his door is closed. Zay tells him he’s coming up, climbing his way along the side of the house to join him on his balcony. When he manages to clamber over the side Charlie immediately pulls him away from the edge, speaking in a hushed tone and claiming that he has to go. His parents will hear him, or see them. As he tries to argue the point Charlie shushes him again, Zay returning the gesture playfully.

It’s all fun and games until Eleanor knocks at the door, Charlie covering Zay’s mouth and responding to her questions of if he’s heading to bed. He lies and claims he is, Eleanor not questioning it and giving him a warm “goodnight, Chuckles,” through the door.

The two of them hang in silence for a long moment, Charlie grimacing as he realizes Zay just heard his embarrassing family nickname. He curses and pulls away from him, walking to the other end of the balcony as Zay clearly attempts to hold back a smile.

Zay: … Chuckles?

Charlie, embarrassed: Family nickname.

[ Zay laughs, but it’s endeared. He steps closer to him, earnest. ]

Zay: I like it. And you know, I think they’d like me.

Charlie: [ with a shake of his head ] No. They’re like I used to be. You know… scared.

There’s a beat of heaviness between them. Then Charlie exhales a laugh, shaking his head again and walking away from him as he absorbs the ridiculousness of the situation.

Charlie: Can you imagine? Being scared of Isaiah Babineaux?

Zay: [ laughing along ] See?

[ There’s a beat. Charlie looks at him, expression soft. ]

Charlie: I see you.

Zay, softer: … see only me.

Zay kicks off the song, taking Maria’s verses where Charlie takes Tony’s (specifically “There’s nothing for me but Isaiah / Every sight that I see is Isaiah”). The two of them harmonize together in the small confines of the balcony, dancing and spinning together where possible.

Where it was pretty obvious earlier that they were into one another, this is the moment where their chemistry and affection for another is impossible to deny. There’s something deeper than just attraction between them, growing more resolute with every day and every duet they share.

As it slows down before the second verse, Zay and Charlie have drifted awfully close together for being feet away from the rest of the Gardner household. Charlie manages to pull back from him simply to continue the dance, but as they wrap the first section of the song they end up inevitably back inches apart again.

Still, even the allure of Zay Babineaux isn’t yet powerful enough to make Charlie forget the way things are. He resists the urge to go for a kiss and instead claims he can’t stay, insisting that Zay should get going. Although he protests, Charlie’s soft “please” and bittersweet smile are convincing enough to make him oblige.

As Zay starts climbing down again, he hesitates. Thinking there’s one more thing he needs to say, lest he regret not vocalizing it in the moment.

Zay: You know, at the risk of sounding totally kitsch… [ turning around, locking eyes with him again ] You know you’re my favorite duet, right?

Charlie is clearly touched. A bashful smile crosses his features, and he manages a nod and a soft “yeah” of agreement. Zay returns the nod, giving him a fond smirk and lingering look before finishing the rest of the climb down the side of the house.

As he goes, Charlie leans forward against the balcony and watches him go. He hesitates before calling after Zay, double-checking that they’ll still meet up before school tomorrow. Zay agrees, starting to head down the street… until Charlie stops him again. He asks if they can ditch lunch and pay a visit to the costume loft instead. Zay rolls his eyes, but he’s obviously not opposed to the idea. He agrees, only making it a couple of steps before Charlie stops him one more time.

Charlie: Do you have a family nickname?

[ Zay pauses, debating whether or not to share it. Then he sighs, looking over his shoulder to deliver it. ]

Zay, reluctantly: “Dizzy.”

[ Charlie can’t help but laugh, but he’s appreciative of his willingness to share. His grin is fond as he gazes down at him. ]

Charlie: See you tomorrow, Dizzy.

Zay: [ unable to hold back a smile ] See you, Chuckles.

They hold each other’s gaze for a moment longer, easing into the last soft verse of “Tonight.” Then Zay jogs back down the street, disappearing as swiftly as he appeared.

Charlie watches him go, undoubtedly enamored. He’s still smiling as he steps back into his room, shutting the door to the balcony behind him.

INT. MINKUS HOME - FARKLE’S ROOM - NIGHT

Farkle is doing homework in his room, a half-eaten plate of food sitting forgotten on the bed in front of him. Jennifer pokes her head in, lightly knocking and trying to engage him in conversation. She notes that he didn’t eat much, which he brushes off by stating he felt nauseous at school so he’s just taking it easy.

Jennifer comes in to check his forehead and lymph nodes again, wondering when this relentless bug he has is going to let him live. Farkle shrugs away from her, insisting that he’s fine. He’d be better, in fact, if she could let him rest.

She relents, but pauses as a thought hits her on the way out. It’s unclear whether this is a brand new thought, or perhaps one she’s been ruminating on for a while.

Jennifer: You know, when do you think you’ll have Maya over again?

Farkle: I don’t know.

Jennifer: I’ve only been thinking, it might be good to have some of that vibrant theater energy around here again. Don’t you think? Maybe you should extend the invitation.

Farkle, tightly: I’ll do that.

Given how poorly their last interaction went, we know it’s a lie.

INT. AAA - DANCE STUDIO - DAY

Riley shows up to the dance studio early the next morning to rehearse, Zay already there when she arrives. She makes a joke about how she’s surprised he beat her here, but he states that was sort of the point. He also has something for her -- her favorite coffee order, as well as a scone from Svorski’s he’s deemed the “apology scone.”

Riley: Well I’m not going to say no to that. “Apology scone?”

Zay: Suffice to say, I’ve sort of been all over the place this week. There’s just… a lot going on. But a conversation with someone close to me recently made me realize that it’s important to let people know how much you mean to them.

He goes on to state that while she was the one with her head in the clouds last year, now it’s on him. He fully intended to be there for her this week and he dropped the ball, but no longer. And they’re always going to be in each other’s corners, a shoulder to lean on if they need it, which is a far cry from how many of the other dynamics in their class are doing at present.

Then, of course, they’ve still got a duet to perform. Zay takes the coffee and scone and puts it back on the piano tucked into the corner. He spins back to face her and holds out a hand.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “I Like Me Better” as performed by Landon Austin || Performed by Zay Babineaux & Riley Matthews

Riley takes his hand, and Zay leads the vocals on this comfortable, endearing acoustic duet. The two of them pass around the verses as they playfully dance together in the studio, demonstrating the iron strength of their friendship.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

The rehearsing is intercut with their final performance in class, Riley playing the guitar and harmonizing while Zay does most of the singing. It’s a stripped down rendition, no flash or glitz. But their voices blend well together, and it’s a nice change of pace.

As they wrap the number, Zay reaches out and takes her hand while the class gives them a round of applause. Back in the dance studio, Riley laughs and the two of them embrace.

A nice bright spot in the midst of so much uncertainty.

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

Harper stops by Jack’s office, finding the principal in the midst of picking through some particularly confusing correspondence. She questions what he’s puzzled over.

Jack: Oh, nothing, nothing… there’s some interested parties attempting to enroll despite our strict enrollment procedures. It’s fine, there’s always a few of these at the start of the school year.

He asks what he can do for her, to which she explains what happened with Lucas and Farkle and how they refused to do the assignment. She’s decided she’ll be punishing them both, as is in within her right as their teacher. Given the behavior she’s observed from both of them, she thinks they could use the discipline.

Jack seems supportive of the authoritarian stance, but he requests that she let him handle Lucas. Whatever she feels Farkle might need she should do within reason, but he’ll take care of their waspish technician. Harper is confused by the distinction, but is more than willing to let him take on the troublemaker so she doesn’t have to.

As Harper heads out, Jack takes another look at the paperwork about enrollment requests. He shakes his head, putting it dismissively to the side.

INT. AAA - GIRLS DRESSING ROOM - DAY

Isadora pokes her head in, relieved to find Maya getting ready and touching up her makeup before their class performance. Maya greets her cheerfully, only some of her confidence falters when she sees Isadora’s change of appearance.

She’s back to looking more like herself, basically back to her usual attire. However, touches of Maya’s influence still remain, such as a simple necklace that Maya had given to her as part of her makeover, her hair up in a pastel scrunchie, and colorful socks on display that have a pretty pattern on them.

Based on that change alone, Maya has a feeling that this conversation isn’t going to go well. She jokes that she’s somehow inevitably strangled another friendship in her own image, but Isadora refutes this.

Isadora: I’m glad you asked me to be partners. And I’m honestly grateful for your friendship, in some ways I kind of feel like it was something I didn’t know I needed. I think I’m going to learn a lot from you.

Maya: Go on, let me down gently. But…?

Isadora: But… I don’t want to completely become someone else to do it. And part of that is on me -- I think I become so focused on what the other person expects that I forget they should be liking me for me. So I sort of let things spiral out of control.

Maya: Doesn’t help when the other person is a diva control freak.

Isadora: [ with a shake of her head ] That’s called passion, and it’s not a bad thing. I’m just… trying to find the balance.

This, Maya can understand. Given how she is reevaluating her own image too now that she’s no longer pretending to be Prada, she gets that feeling more than ever. Isadora does comment that she does like some of Maya’s clothes, and might do a little personalizing of her own style to incorporate the things she likes. She jokingly tugs at Maya’s collar, disrupting the perfect crease.

Isadora: Maybe we can “grunge” you down a bit, too.

Maya: [ intrigued ] Oh, don’t try and stop me.

They exchange a laugh. Isadora admits she isn’t sure what this revelation will mean for their performance, but Maya is already brainstorming. She tells Isadora to focus on her killer vocals, and to leave the rest to her.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “God Is A Woman (Acoustic)” as performed by Ceresia || Performed by Isadora De La Cruz (feat. Maya Hart)

Maya and Isadora follow Riley and Zay’s toned down lead, ditching the hyped up pop performance for something more stripped. Maya plays guitar while Isadora takes the brunt of the vocals, allowing her the chance to show off her already strong pipes while still having the flexibility to find her sound.

It’s also a change of pace that Isadora is front and center while Maya is taking a back seat, a far cry from her triumphant claim to center stage at the beginning of the year. The rendition and the way they harmonize is an indication of growth for the both of them.

Perhaps, they’ll be able to find the balance for both of their personas. All in due time.

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

Lucas is back in the chair opposite Jack’s desk, the tone of the meeting a little less casual than it was earlier in the week. Jack finishes reprimanding him for his refusal to participate.

Jack: Look, you’ve made good strides compared to the last couple of years. We haven’t had a complaint from the fire station at all this year.

Lucas: Yeah, well, stuff gets old after a while. [ with a mocking pout ] I’m tired.

Although it’s said like a joke, it feels like there’s some truth to the statement that Lucas won’t analyze for himself. Jack changes tracks, pointing out that for all the progress he’s made, it’s incredibly easy to back slide. And if he keeps disrespecting Miss Burgess or blowing off assignments, it’s going to come back to bite him.

Lucas questions if that’s the extent of his punishment, to which Jack simply laughs. He comes around the desk and leans against the front of it, tilting his head.

Jack: You remember stage-managing the musical last year, right? Intense job, lots of responsibility, you told me you’d rather down a bottle of drain cleaner than ever do it again? [ Off Lucas’s disdainful expression ] Well, do I have news for you, buddy.

Lucas frowns, looking more than displeased. Here we go again.

INT. AAA - SCRIPT LIBRARY - DAY

The door opens to a darkened, dusty closet, Harper grappling to find the light switch. As the cramped space is illuminated she and Farkle are framed in the doorway, showing him what his punishment will be. For the duration of the semester, he will be spending lunches and free periods assisting with technical jobs.

One of these involves cleaning out and organizing the script library, which is a mess of piles and piles of scripts that need to be alphabetized and sorted neatly. Better get to work.

Farkle saunters into the room as Harper leaves him to it, picking up the first play of hundreds. Death of a Salesman. He sighs and places it in a new pile, beginning the tedious job all alone.

INT. AAA - ATRIUM - DAY

Riley is heading out towards the main entrance as the bell rings, other students filing out. A couple of her classmates give her props on her performance or bid her goodbye, but no one stops to actually have a conversation. Riley keeps her smile on, though it’s thin.

She spots Lucas as he’s stepping out of the main office. The two of them lock eyes across the atrium, another weighted moment passing between them. So much left unsaid. So much they could say, if they could just talk about it.

But it doesn’t look like that’s in the cards. Lucas walks out the front doors in a hurry, not even looking back at her for a second glance.

Riley exhales, closing her eyes and trying to push past it. She stuffs her hands in her pockets, surprised as she remembers the note she hastily stuffed in there earlier in the week. She pulls it out and unfolds it, looking at the scribbled declaration of admiration.

“You’re better.”

Tentatively, she twists the note in her fingers. Then she’s crumpling it, making it as small as it can possibly be. Destroying it as quickly as everything else seems to have crumpled into nothing.

She drops it into the waste bin as she exits the building.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Isadora is at her locker, gathering her things. In the inside door, the same photo of her, Riley, and Lucas is hanging up that Riley has in her locker.

She looks at it, obviously reminiscent. She pulls out her phone, opening her thread with Riley and trying to think of something to say. Wondering if there’s anything to say at all. She certainly doesn’t know, like she told her earlier.

The contemplation is interrupted as Maya comes up to her, energized as usual. She shows off the new patches on her denim jacket.

Maya: Check it out. Already beginning the Izzy-fying of my wardrobe. You inspired me.

Yindra and Zay pass by them, asking if they’re all still planning on hitting up Chubbie’s. Maya asks if Isadora is coming, to which she tells them she’ll catch up with them in a second. She hesitates for a moment longer, glancing at that photo one last time.

Then she closes the door. The last image we see is the photo of the three them, sealed away in the closed, dark locker.

END OF EPISODE.

[werkwerkelizaaa]

Empire, part 2

Forgot to tag, whoops— @funnyihope @newsiepedia

•••

She told herself it was better that way, that he was more trouble than he was worth.

They seemed to know instinctively how to push each other's buttons, and in all honesty she grew to realize it was a lot less complicated to have an ally in Manhattan who had no ulterior motives, romantic or otherwise.

Spot wouldn't say she was proud of her behavior, but she came through in the end, and that's what matters, right?

Maybe they could never be back to the way they were, but they didn't have to be. Some things were better left in the past.

•••

Spot swung her legs out in front of her. "I've always respected you."

Race raised his eyebrows once he realized she wasn't joking. "Why?"

Spot grinned and elbowed him. "You walked over here armed with nothing but an old pape that had 'I can do what I want' scribbled across it and a smile. That was pretty gutsy."

Race chuckled and elbowed her back. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?"

Spot shook her head. "Not exactly what I was thinking, but sure." She grabbed a small pebble and threw it off the edge.

"Jack trusts you." It was more of a statement than a question.

Race bit down on his cigar. "A horrible decision really, but yes."

Spot did her best to not seem too eager. "Maybe we could meet somewhere closer to you and yours next time?"

"Why would... you have your eye on someone else, don't you?" Race grinned and threw his arms around Spot.

"You saw something you liked at the rally! Striped Cucumber has a crush!"

Spot pried his arms off of her and pouted. "You're supposed to be the stupid one!"

"Who is it?" Race poked her bicep repeatedly. "Come on, give me a hint. Is it Finch?"

Spot crossed her arms and exhaled loudly. "...It's not Jack."

Race frowned and poked her again. "Well duh!"

Spot smirked and leaned against Race. "Also, it's not Les."

Race pouted and tapped the top of her head. "Don't do me like that, Spotty boi."

Spot elbowed him. "That was two hints. You're on your own now."

Race leaned back and put his hands on Spot's shoulders. "It's Albert, isn't it."

Spot glared at him. "Go suck on an egg."

Race let out an overdramatic gasp. "I have no idea what that means, and yet I'm still offended."

Spot rolled her eyes and gestured incredulously. "It means I don't have time for this!"

•••

Race continued to pester her by singing love ballads under his breath in some other language whenever he got the chance.

Spot put up with it. She wasn't going to begrudge Race for being who he was. It was the least she could do; returning the favor, albeit somewhat reluctantly.

*Timeskip of indeterminable origin*

Spot was starting to wonder if the real reason Race spent so much time out of Manhattan was because Kack Jelly and the Pretty Paperboys needed a break from him. That is, if you ignored the fact that they were all equally annoying.

Myron had told her he caught Race sweet talking the horses down at the racetracks one time, but she wasn't sure she wanted to think about that too much.

Even though "don't beat Racetrack up period" was her own rule, that didn't mean he was exempt from a slap upside the head every now and then, though.

Spot snuck up on Race while he was in the middle of revising her list of rules and did just that. "Stop touching my things!"

Race dropped his pencil, jumped about a foot in the air, turned to face Spot, and waggled his eyebrows at her.

Spot facepalmed and pushed past him. "...That's NOT a euphemism!"

She pointed at the vandalized paper with a little more force than necessary. "Did you really have to draw that... that monster thing in the corner?"

Race scoffed and crossed his arms, shoe scuffing the ground. "That is a dinosaur, you uncultured dwarf."

~~~

"What do you think you're doing?" Hot Shot's hands clamped down squarely on Graves's shoulders.

Graves jumped and let out a squeak of surprise. "Nothing!"

Hot Shot raised an eyebrow at him.

Graves sighed resignedly. "Okay fine, I'm trying to get that girl's attention." He motioned across the street at a young lady selling flowers out of a cart.

Hot Shot looked back and forth between the girl and Graves. He snorted in amusement. "...By staring at her?"

Graves smiled sheepishly and shrugged. "Aren't they supposed to know you like them if you stare long enough because psychic... psychicics?"

Hot Shot furrowed his brows and shifted his weight. "Where did you hear that?"

Graves blinked blankly and resumed staring at the girl across the street, not even bothering with the shrug.

Hot Shot shook his head and patted Graves on the shoulder. "Look, just go up to her, lean against something so you look cool, and compliment her."

He gestured to himself. "Here, try me."

Graves turned and rocked back and forth on his heels, looking Hot Shot up and down appraisingly.

"Uh. Your skin does a fantastic job of holding all your organs in!"

Hot Shot took his cap off and ran a hand through his hair. "Maybe something a little less morbid."

"Okay." Graves swallowed thickly and drew himself up to his full height. "If I die, tell Spot I love him."

Hot Shot smiled reassuringly and clapped him on the back. "I'm sure he knows."

Graves took a deep breath and started striding across the street before tripping over what seemed to be nothing and falling on his knees. He jumped up and quickly dusted himself off, face turning as red as the flowers the girl was selling.

Graves leaned against the flower cart and smiled nervously, resisting the urge to start fiddling with his hands.

"Hello! I just had to come over here because your shine, I mean, the sun on you—"

Hot Shot facepalmed.

The girl tucked a limp strand of sand-colored hair back into her ponytail and cocked her head. "I'm sorry, come again?"

Graves exhaled and leaned back a little further. "Your skin is glistening like a diamond in the sun."

The girl raised an eyebrow and grinned, wiping the sweat off her brow with a handkerchief. "Thanks,

you're not too bad looking yourself."

Graves glanced over at Hot Shot, who motioned at him to keep going, then back at her. "I didn't catch your name—"

The girl interrupted him with a horrified gasp, eyes as wide as dinner plates. The cart Graves was leaning against– her flower cart, in fact– started rolling under his weight, startling and almost hitting a few pedestrians as it careened down the street.

Graves turned and muttered a word under his breath that is not polite to use in the presence of a lady.

He stared blankly for a few seconds before snapping out of it and running after the cart. "Why did we have to be on a hill?!"

The girl let out an annoyed huff and did her best to keep up with him, gathering her skirts in her hands. "I can't believe this is happening again."

Hot Shot shook his head and ran after them, quickly passing the girl and maintaining about a couple yards' distance behind Graves. "After that cart!"

Graves skidded to a stop as he recognized his beloved borough leader sitting on the docks. He completely forgot what he was doing and waved excitedly, grinning. "Hi, Spot!"

Spot squinted, apparently at a loss for words.

Hot Shot groaned and grabbed the back of Graves's undershirt as he ran past, dragging him along.

"We don't have time for this." He muttered under his breath.

Graves kept waving even as he was being pulled.

"Bye, Spot!"

He shook off Hot Shot's hand and started running on his own two legs again. "There's always time for Spot!"

Hot Shot reached out and grabbed the cart by the handles, yelping at the sudden heat created by the friction.

Graves threw his arms around Hot Shot's waist and dug his heels into the ground, slowing them to a stop. "Well, that was fun. Let's do it again never."

The girl finally caught up to them, broken flower stems gathered in her arms. "Maggie."

Graves let go of Hot Shot and spun around to face the girl, red faced and panting. "What?"

'Maggie' gave herself and then a moment to catch their breaths before replying. "That's my name."

Graves flashed her a brilliant smile. "A pretty name for a pretty girl."

He looked around, taking notice of the mess they had left in their wake. "I'll buy anything off of you that's unsellable."

Maggie shook her head vehemently, face reddening. "Oh, you don't have to–"

Graves put a hand up to stop her. "Please, it's the least I can do."

~~~

Myron grabbed Spot's arm as soon as she walked in the door.

"Spot, tell Hot Shot cologne is NOT an acceptable substitute for bathing!" He said through gritted teeth.

Spot blinked and shoved her hands into her pockets. "Cologne is not an acceptable substitute for bathing."

Myron gestured at her as if to say 'see?' and looked at Hot Shot pointedly. "Thank you!"

Hot Shot shook his head and put his hands up defensively. "I'm just saying though, if your only two choices were either nothing at all, or dousing yourself in—"

Spot scratched the back of her head. "How would you even end up in this situation?"

Hot Shot shrugged. "I dunno, but it could happen!"

Race had his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth. His brows furrowed in concentration as he shuffled the deck and showed Graves, Towers, and Bart the top card. "Is this your card?"

Towers shook his head. "No."

"Huh." Race frowned and pulled the next card out. "Is this your card?"

Towers leaned forward and squinted, then sat back and shook his head again. "No."

Race let out a huff of annoyance and went to the next card in the deck. "Is this your card?"

Towers sighed and propped his head up against his fist. "Nope."

Race frustratedly started pulling out cards at random. "Is THIS your card? Is THIS your card? Is—"

Towers' shoulders slumped. "No, nope, n–"

"Yes." Bart interrupted before this could go any further.

Race grinned and pumped his fist into the air. "First try!"

Towers rolled his eyes, but didn't comment.

Graves cocked his head at Race. "Is that your real voice?"

Race's eyebrows quirked. "No, I just talk and look like this on purpose to make everybody question their sexuality!"

Graves and Towers looked at each other and shrugged.

Race crossed his arms and leaned back. "Yes, this is my real voice. It's not the one I would've chosen, but it's the one I got."

He reshuffled the deck and started murmuring to himself under his breath.

Towers shook his head and elbowed Graves, mouthing 'rude' at him.

Graves elbowed him back and whispered, "I was just asking!"

[post-itpenny]

Nine in the Afternoon

The next part is here at long last!

Geeze this got really long.

@grotesquegabby @clownsgobeepbeep because so many of yours are here. I hope I got everyone’s reactions to things correct. uwu

Eight was a lot of people Vespers had to admit. But it seemed rather appropriate considering who it all was.

When Vespers announced he wanted to go to Blackwood’s home and get Magpie he wasn’t surprised Maggie wanted to come, and was grateful Juno volunteered. 

But then nearly everyone else offered to come. 

To see so many people worried for Magpie or missing her honestly made Vespers start to cry, Cosmos holding his hand tightly has he did so.

Why would she leave when she had so many friends that cared about her?

They all met at the observatory. It was decided that one group would stay to care for the little ones while the other group went together.

This was something Vespers’ grandfather insisted on. Go as a group rather than alone.

Kestrel had been the last of Vespers’ immediate family to visit the elder. Passing along a small box to Juno who went to see him.

“The planet changes according to his whim. I can’t say what it may look like now but remember to be polite. He doesn’t like conflict but still should not be angered.”

Vespers and Juno looked at the little box, it didn’t seem to be anything special however their grandfather had instructed not to open it until they were ready to leave. 

Vespers looked around at all the people currently in his home. He wanted it laugh, any other day he would think they had come together for a party. 

Cosmos clasped a had on his shoulder, “You good Vesp?”

The moth nodded, ignoring the anxiety that was curling around in his stomach. “Cosmos this just isn’t like her. She promised to be home three days ago. I just don’t understand.”

But it was more than that, it wasn’t like Magpie to just leave without a goodbye, just Blackwood passing along the message through his father who was the last to be visited. 

“Tell Honey and Brie to watch the house and not overfeed Trouble. Back in three days.”

She didn’t even say goodbye to him, she didn’t really say goodbye to anyone.

Why.

Maggie stood in the corner of the room whispering intently with Billy. Vespers watched them curiously, what could they be talking about?

Soon they stepped outside. Vespers, Juno, and Maggie were going along with Billy, Pepper, Cecilio, James, and Alex.

Eight people seems like a lot. But perhaps there was safety in numbers.

As they stepped out the door Calliope quietly pulled Maggie  aside. 

“Listen please,” she whispered to her. “Blackwood is not a violent creature by any means but still be cautious. He is very… he can be a lot to deal with. And clever, he’s more shrewd than one would think.”

Maggie nodded, arms wrapped tight around her waist. Calliope had wanted to come and to be honest they would have all felt better if she had. But in her condition it was not wise. Plus trouble between elders could mean trouble for everyone.

“One more thing,” she quickly added. “He and Bridgette… has she told you?”

“Told me what?”

Calliope sighed, “let’s just say there is history.”

Vespers took a steadying breath and looked back at Cosmos who stood at the door with the others. Cradling Phoebe who was peeking out of her blankets as she watched her moth-father with large eyes.

Vespers opened the box.

It was a key. A plain looking key.

“Whelp, I can tell right now this is going to be stupid.” Juno sighed as she picked the key up from the box.

A set of gates appeared.

Vespers jumped back in surprise. The gates were tall and made of curling wrought iron. The top adorned with metal thistles instead of more traditional spikes.

The gate was unlocked.

“Look it’s stupid. Why the hell-“

“Juno!”

“Why the heck have a fancy set of gates appears that are unlocked?”

“Maybe picking up the key unlocked it?” Pepper offered. 

Juno rolled her eyes but said nothing, reaching out to grab Pepper’s arm. “We’ll go in groups since we can’t all go through at once. Vespers you want to go first or me?”

“I will,” Maggie insisted.

Billy frowned and stepped in front of her, “maybe you should stay. I’m sure-“

“I’m going and I’m going first.” Maggie insisted. 

Billy held onto her hand and followed her through the gate. The last thing either of them saw being the observatory doorway filled with their friends and family.

Maggie walked through darkness. Aware she still had a hold of Billy’s hand who had sped of his pace so they could be side by side. Behind them came Alex’s voice:

“Marco!”

“Polo!” Maggie called back.

“Marco!”

“Polo!”

“Mar- oof! Cool here you are.” Alex chuckled as he crashed into the couple. 

They were at some invisible wall. They all crowded around. Not finding any way around it. 

“Damn this place is dark even for me,” Alex observed. “Who’s got a light?”

“I gotcha.” Cecilio announced as he struck a match. 

Maggie stifled a laugh which, the other’s turning to her in confusion.

Maggie giggled “whose not dead, sound off.”

Vespers rolled his eyes, Pepper laughed, James was extremely confused.

“But none of us are dead?”

“Just don’t worry about it man,” Vespers signed, turning to look up at what they had run into.

It was a set of doors, towering and covered in thistle flowers, live ones.

How were they growing here?

Juno reaches out and knocked.

The doors swung wide open, bright light spilling  forth forcing them to close their eyes. 

There were sounds: screaming, running….

Laughter?

Vespers opened his eyes. Gapping at the scene before him in shock.

Behind him the other’s gasped, someone whistled.

Pepper blinked as his eyes adjusted to the brightness. “What the fuck?”

They stood on top of a tall hill, looking down on a massive carnival, one that seemed to span for miles and off into the distance.

Blackwood’s planet was one giant carnival.

They walked down the hill on a path surrounded by deep purple thistles that swayed in the breeze. The weather was bright and sunny but not two hot, clouds forming the shapes of different animals. 

As they entered the carnival a manger of all beings moved to and fro from booth to booth to ride. Some were human or human like, others alien-looking in features. None of them seemed to notice the newcomers

Cecilio’s stomach growled, the smell of Joy was so strong, Pepper’s stomach growled for and different reason.

“Cake!” He cheered as he ran to a booth piled high with every type of cake one could imagine. He grabbed a nearby plate and immediately began to pile on slice after slice before Alex pulled him away. 

“Hang on there buddy. Pretty sure all the sugar here will jack you up.”

Pepper frowned, “but-”

“No he’s right,” Cecilio stated. “Look at the people here.”

Pepper looked around him. Everyone looked like they were having a great time. Talking and laughing as they explored the carnival. Pepper watched a woman walk up to the candy apple stall across from them. Taking one of the tasty treats from an unseen hand and leaving without paying.

Huh…

The group observed the people around them. Big smiles on their faces but their eyes blank. Two people ran into each other and didn’t even notice in their rush to get to different destinations. 

“It’s not quite right is it?” Billy observed. “Half the sounds that should be here are missing. Where are the crying children or their tired parents? Where are the swindlers and pickpockets? I also would have expected to see someone vomiting after riding that.” He said as he pointed his cane at a monster of a roller coaster at the end of the isle. Billy gave a small smile, “though it does look like fun.”

Maggie watched as the coaster did loop after loop, “yeah it really does.... One ride?”

Billy looked at the line that never seemed to hold up in its smooth flow of putting people on the ride. A standard warning sign was placed at the entrance like some afterthought.

Billy frowned, “no perhaps not.”

Maggie pouted and looked back to the cake stand Pepper still gazed after longingly. 

“Hey Vesp?”

“Yeah?”

“Remember The Goblin Market?”

“The what?”

“We must not look at goblin men,

We must not buy their fruits:

Who knows upon what soil they feed their hungry thirsty roots?”

The group turned to quiet James in surprise. He cleared his throat, “I’ve read it before.”

Maggie shrugged, “Magpie said it was about not talking to strangers.”

Billy smirked, “it's about temptation but yes also strangers I suppose.”

“Magpie read you that?”

Did you say Magpie?”

They turned. Surprised to find two clowns walking towards them. The smaller one was wearing an over-sized sweater that covered half their face save for their cat-like eyes and a puff of curly blue hair. They held the hand of a taller clown. She wore a short pink dress with an over-sized sweater as well. Her pink hair tied up into two buns and across her ears and face were several piercings. She smiled and pulled the shorter clown along with her towards the group.

“Hey there name’s Cecelia, this here is little Risby. Say hi Risby.”

Risby waved their hand in greeting but said nothing, looking up at Vespers and Juno specifically. Risby tugged on Cecilia’s sleeve and pointed to Vesper’s white hair. Cecilia smiled. “Risby wants to know if you’re related to Mr. B?

Vespers blinked “Mr. B? Uhh, you mean Blackwood? Yeah he’s our elder.”

Cecilia grinned and, to Vespers surprise, pulled him into a hug. She turned and hugged Juno, only Juno was much taller than Cecilia leaving to hug Juno around the stomach. 

“This is so cool! Geeze the old guy is gonna do somersaults he's gonna be so excited. Risby go find Mr. B. and tell him!”

Risby nodded and ran off into the crowd. Cecilia turning back and looking up at Juno who stared down at her rather speechless. 

“So you’re here to see Magpie? She’s so, so great.”

Maggie perked up, “so you do know her then?”

Cecilia nodded with a grin, “oh yeah she’s like, really popular here. C’mon I think I know where to find her.”

They followed Cecilia through the crowd. Juno watching her closely as she followed along like a lost puppy. Alex leaned towards Juno with a chuckle. “She’s certainly fun to watch leave, you know what I mean?”

Juno turned bright red and shoved him, “sh-shut up.”

Vespers jogged to catch up with Cecilia. “So do you work for Blackwood? Or live here?”

Cecilia smiled, “yeah yeah it’s both. Risby is my tiny sibling, we needed a place to call home and Mr. B. gave it to us. I’m the official groundskeeper around here,” she proudly stated. 

They rounded a corner to find a large crowd cheering, and the familiar sound of snapping fingers.

Vespers’ heart leaped into his throat. He pushed through the crowd but stopped short, the others stumbling to a stop behind him.

Pepper’s eyes widened, “is that her?”

The woman in the center of the crowd looked nothing short but like a rainbow that had exploded. The locks of her hair were each a different color, her dress a mess of ruffles and different hues, she turned and looked at them with bright blue eyes.

Magpie gasped in surprise, as if not really believing that she was looking at her family and friends. But then:

“Hey chica! Look at you all stylin!”

Magpie grinned, “Alexander!” She shouted in joy as she ran forward and crashed into the party clown with a hug. Magpie laughed as turned towards her niece and nephew and hugged them tightly as well. “Oh my dear ones. My sweet little bugs I can’t believe it!”

Vespers and Juno hugged their aunt tightly, running fingers through her hair and holding her face all three starting to cry.

Maggie stood aside with a sad smile and watched, Billy stood next to her with an arm wrapped around her shoulders. He gave Maggie a pointed look but she shook her head.

Cecelio came up next to them, scratching his head in confusion. “So what's going on?”

Maggie looked up at him with a sigh, “this is what Magpie used to look like. I remember her looking like this as a kid.”

James shook his head in disbelief, “she mentioned being locked up but- I must ask, how long?”

Maggie frowned, “a very long time.” 

Magpie turned and greeted the others with hugs and laughter, her smile like warm light she seemed so alive. She stopped at last before Maggie, pulling her into a hug. 

“My little poppy flower why are you crying?”

Maggie sobbed into Magpie’s shoulder, hugging her tight. 

“I’ve missed you so much!” Maggie cried. Her tears staining Magpie’s colorful dress. “And I’ve just really needed to talk to you about things.”

“Magpie smiled and smoothed Maggie’s hair, “I’m here now my darling. What’s wrong?”

Maggie took a gulp of air to calm herself, “I-

“What’s all this about crying then hmm?”

They looked up. Blackwood stood atop a cable car that was passing over them. He leaped gracefully into the air, touching down with ease. Magpie smiled and moved to stand with him.

“Risby told me there were visitors! How wonderful! Look at this! Why Vespers and Juno long time no see!” Blackwood laughed as he pulled the two into a hug before turning to the others. “You must be one of the D’Vitts! Sorry I could not meet the new father but I’m simply delighted to get to say hello!” Blackwood greeted as he vigorously shook Pepper’s hand. Pepper himself relieved he was not pulled into a bone-crushing hug like the others. 

Blackwood seemed to like everyone immediately. Greeting James in a way that put him at ease and sharing cheesy jokes with Cecilio right away. He turned to Alex with a look of surprised. “Well goodness me, I must say you take quite a bit after your father don’t you my boy?

For once, Alexander’s signature smile dropped just slightly, “so you know my old man?”

Blackwood chuckled, “well of course I do. Chap certainly knows how to keep things lively though if I’m honest I think he and I have different ideas on a good time.”

The smile returned, Alex gave a short nod “cool.”

Blackwood shook hands with Billy, the two tipping top hats to each other. Then at last came to the short redhead. His smile faltering slightly.

“Hello,” Maggie greeted.”

“Hello there my dear,” Blackwood gave in kind. “Might I ask what your name might be?”

“It’s Maggie sir, I’ve come to bring my mother home.”

Magpie grew still, eyes wide. Vespers smiled and even Juno have a shrug with the smallest smirk.

“Did you now?” Blackwood asked, “I must say you put together quite a party to do so.”

Maggie shook her head, “no sir that was Vespers and Juno. But a lot of people were really worried with her gone for so long.”

Magpie smiled, “It’s only been maybe three days.”

James frowned, “Magpie it's been five.”

Magpie gasped in surprise, a look of horror passed over her face, “A week! Oh no the girls! Are they alright? How is my dog? What's been happening?”

Magpie turned to Billy in panic, clutching his sleeve. “Honey and Brie are they okay? I didn’t mean to leave them a whole week! Have you spoken with them?”

Billy placed a hand on her shoulder reassuringly, “they’re alright Magpie. They just miss you, from my understanding so does your puppy.” 

Magpie gripped her hair in panic. “Oh no, oh no. I’m so sorry I-”

“Hey now it’s alright, no need to panic my dear.” Blackwood reassured her with a calm smile. “Everyone loses track of time, may I suggest this: Tonight we shall all have dinner together and then if you wish then yes you can go home. In the meantime why not show our guests around? There is something here for everyone after all.”

“B-But the girls! I need to-“

“Tut, tut! I shall see you all soon!” With a dramatic bow Blackwood was gone in an explosion of confetti.

Juno looked to her worried aunt, then to the confetti on the ground, then shrugged. “Whelp, if you’re ready to go then lets go.”

Vespers frowned and checked his pockets, “Juno do you have the key?”

Alex smirked, “key or no key it's all good moth man. We’ll just pop over to the next planet and-”

Alex was gone in a snap, only to reappear one foot away from where he had previously stood.

The part clown frowned, “not cool. So guess we do need the key then, huh.”

Cecelia grinned, “this planet sits in a locked pocket dimension, no teleporting without boss man’s permission.”

Juno frowned, “well, that's an ass move.”

Cecelia whipped around to Juno, eyes blazing. “Excuse you bitch have some respect.” 

The pink haired clown stormed off leaving Juno stricken. “Oh no,” she groaned.

Vespers shook his sister’s shoulder, “hey Juno? Hey what's up, talk to me Juni.”

Juno gave another defeated groan, “she’s hot.”

They were left with no choice but to go to Blackwood’s home and ask for a new gate key. As they walked Magpie did end of playing tour guide as requested of her. Pointing out different rides and attractions. People saying hello to her as they passed. Vespers watched his aunt as she gushed about a ride she herself had made. Something he could only describe as five ferris wheels circling each other. Magpie looked so happy as she shared with them the world she had been staying in for the past week. Vespers frowned, what if she didn’t want to come home? Would it be right to make her?

Soon they arrived at a tall set of stairs that lead to a shining castle. Vespers choked back a laugh. His family lived in a ruin pretending to be important yet here was the real deal. 

In the entry hall stood Blackwood gazing up at a large golden tree, he turned in surprise at their arrival. 

“Oh is the tour over already? I can have Cecelia show you on a tour of the castle next if you would like?”

Magpie stood tall, “actually Blackwood I was hoping-”

“I’m here!” Cecelia shouted with Risby in tow, “what I miss? Whats shakin bacon?”

“Blackwood just a second-”

“Oh no need to worry my dear But do you recall what we discussed about the tree the other day? I do believe there is something you might wish to see?”

Vespers clenched his fist, stepping forward. “Blackwood sir my aunt is ready to come home. Could you please give us a new key?”

Blackwood blinked, “why leave right when you’ve just arrived? There is still so much we can do!”

Vespers frowned, “yes but-”

“Tell me moth child how about fireworks? I know they’re your favorite and each night I like to put on a spectacular show of them under the planet’s five moons. Every color imaginable! It’s about nine in the afternoon now but just wait!”

“That is nice but!”

“Oh and Juno I made the best rock climbing area just last year!”

Juno stepped back, “that's cool but-”

“Plus there's the raves on the planet’s south side, and we haven’t had dinner, then there were these new constellations I would really like a second opinion on-”

As Blackwood talked he floated up in the air, neon lights, stairs, cupcakes, and all manner of things began to appear and float about as if Blackwood’s thoughts were coming to life. Maggie pulled away from Billy and stamped her foot on the ground, “Blackwood sir please!”

Blackwood chuckled, “little seer what’s wrong? Did you have a bad vision? Will the fireworks get rained out?”

Small fireworks began to explode around them forcing the others to duck.

“No I. Will you please-,” Maggie growled and tugged at her hair in frustration.

“Stop, stop! ENOUGH!”

The world froze, the colors dulling. Outside the rides and people came to a stop. Freezing in place.

Inside the same happened to Cecelia and Risby, Juno waiving a hand in front of Cecelia’s face with no response.

Magpie felt a command in the back of her head, and order to freeze, some will that was not her own urging her limbs to lock up. She clasped the sides of her head, shaking her head no as she fell to the floor.

Vespers moves to help her but stopped, what was happening?

Blackwood floated down to where Maggie stood. Her bright red hair standing out like fire against the dull colors of the world.

“What is wrong with you?!”

Blackwood stepped back in surprise. No one really challenged him, not in a long time at least.

Funny who stood before him now.

Blackwood frowned, the floor beneath him cracking.

“Oh you’re just like her.”

Maggie blinked in surprise, just like who?

“Not everything has to be about the things you want little seer,” Blackwood hissed. “Can't I have some fun? Can’t the universe be a little happier? We follow fate like good sheep but what happens to the people given a bad path huh? On my planet I work hard to make everything perfect every day! I give whatever anyone could want! No sadness, no hurt!”

“But that’s not right.” Maggie timidity argued. “Bad things have to happen-“

“Why?!”

“Because without both there isn’t a point to living.”

Blackwood gaped at her, speechless.

“People who know how to be sad know how to be happy,” Maggie continued. “I mean really happy, because they know how to cherish it. But what you’ve made is… shallow.”

Vespers stood watching his aunt as she sat on the floor, hugging herself tightly as the colors began to fade away. Her bright blue eyes turning white and the rest of her following suit.

Maggie glanced at Cecilio who motioned for her to continue. Maggie took a breath. “It’s not fair I know that. But it’s how the universe works.”

“And if I don’t like the way the universe works? You don’t think I couldn’t just reach out and start rearranging everything one planet at a time? Changing the rules how I see fit?”

“You’re not a god so lay off with that,” Maggie frowned. “Besides you would just be miserable trying to maintain it all. Why else would you have deadlights here to help you manage things on one single planet?”

“Child, do you not think I am merely charitable?” Blackwood growled, the shadows of the room twisting and reaching out towards Maggie. Billy tried to move to help but found himself rooted to the floor, the tiles having melted remolded themselves around his feet and ankles. He panicked as a shadow shot out to wrap itself around Maggie’s neck.

But stopped.

Blackwood turned in surprise at the sound of a “snap” as the shadows receded. Magpie stood with her hand held out, her bright colors all gone as she had returned to her normal faded- out self. She wore no gloves revealing blackened hands that were riddled with the white lines of her veins. Around her static crackled as she glared at the elder.

“Do not touch my girl.”

Blackwood gasped but then seemed to deflate. Sitting down on the floor with a groan. 

“Magpie my dear, I’m just trying-“

“I don’t care, you will not touch what’s mine.” Magpie insisted. “Blackwood I want to go home.”

The elder groaned again with his face in his hands, outside it began to softly rain. 

“Magpie you were the one that told me you were so miserable.”

They all turned to Magpie in surprise, Vespers flinching at the statement. 

Magpie squared her shoulders, “and I still am. Please don’t misunderstand me, I do love it here. But it’s not like you magically “cured” me or anything. You don’t know what I’ve been through.”

Outside it began to pour. Cracks forming in the ceiling as water seeped in around them. The floor soaked in seconds, Blackwood himself drenched. 

He gave a quiet “oh,” and nothing else.

Maggie sighed and walked to him, holding a hand out.

“Can- can we talk in private?”

They all sat around the entry hall while Maggie when off with Blackwood to speak. Magpie introducing Vespers, Billy, and Pepper to the family tree. 

“So gold leaves are blood line, silver are mates, bronze are extended family-”

“What is that green leaf?” Billy asked as he pointed at a particular branch.

Magpie smiled, “the adopted, that leaf is Maggie.”

Billy observed the little green leaf, noting with a smile that a silver one was attached to it.

Blackwood and Maggie returned looking thoroughly worn out. As if the conversation had been too much for them. Maggie took Magpie’s hand and pulled her aside from the other’s, Blackwood came to stand beside Billy. “By the way, congratulations to you.” 

Billy nodded to him with a particularly smug grin, Vespers watched them in confusion before hearing a soft gasp. He turned, Magpie was in Maggie’s arms crying.

“Wait what happend, is she ok?” Vespers worried only to be stopped by Blackwood. 

“Just tears of joy my boy.”

What?

“CECILIO!” Magpie screeched as she charged across the room towards the clown, launching herself at him in a hug.

“Ah! My back! Be careful!” He cried as he had no choice but to catch Magpie who was crying and laughing at once. “Where's the fire? What's going on?”

Maggie came to stand by Billy who wrapped his arm around her. She blushed as she patted her stomach and smiled at him.

Cecelio looked to Magpie, then to Maggie and Billy. A big grin made its way onto his face.

Vespers watched them all in confusion before Blackwood slowly tipped his chin up. Vespers observed a little green leaf that had a silver leaf right next to it.

Underneath was a new bud.

Oh

“Maggie holy fuck!” Vespers screamed just as Cecelio scooped Maggie and Billy up into a hug.

Alex doubled over laughing as the others watched in confusion as realization came over them one at a time.

Blackwood stepped back with a sad smile, musing over the conversation with the little seer.

Oh she was so much like her elder.

[habibialkaysani]

flarrowverse characters in marvel netflixverse

(wow um I found this in my drafts and I don’t know how long it’s been here for but I figured it would be worth posting given I want insp for my lauryssa fic. not to mention I am possibly making a series of gifsets with these characters just fyi)

so I have had this idea in my head for ages, and I have actually started a multichapter fic (called the devil in star city) starring laurel as matt and nyssa as elektra. but I kinda wanted to flesh it out a bit and see about the other characters in both universes. this is mostly because I am suffering from writer’s block but also because it would be cool to think of netflix marvel characters and their flarrowverse counterparts.

so ofc laurel lance is matt murdock, bc that au is practically begging to be written anyway. the obvious comparison is the fact that they’re both vigilante lawyers but I think it goes deeper than that. they both question morality a lot and are sensitive people. they also both felt like they were abandoned by their mothers to some extent (dinah lance and maggie murdock) and relied more on their fathers (quentin lance and jack murdock). a lot of the time they found they had to pick up the pieces of their fathers, in different ways. 

they both have best friends that are also their professional partners (and this is where I headcanon joanna de la vega as foggy nelson - I think because both matt and foggy and laurel and jo have really great banter, which is welcome among the whole legal back and forth, and because they make formidable teams legally speaking). and both laurel and matt are (in my head anyway) head over heels in love with born assassins, which is why nyssa al ghul is my elektra natchios. and I think with both mattelektra and lauryssa there is some bad history between them, but in the end, laurel and matt never stop standing by nyssa and elektra and they never give up on them. I also have talia al ghul as stick, because I think talia and nyssa would have had a similar dynamic to them if they found each other as adults and talia decided to train nyssa. 

I think for me, tommy merlyn is karen page - because I am currently writing the third chapter of aforementioned fic, which is set in an aa meeting. I don’t know karen from the comics that well, but I know that in the show she does deal with addiction, so I kept that theme and am looking forward to exploring it further. plus I just love the idea that tommy is the damsel in distress who is saved by laurel lance and joanna de la vega, attorneys at law :) that and I think there was good chemistry with tommy, laurel and jo in season 1 of arrow and that was something I wish we could have seen more of, scenes with the three of them.

outside of daredevil, I kinda love the idea of oliver queen being danny rand, and shado being colleen wing, mostly because she has a dragon tattoo on her shoulder and colleen is known as daughter of the dragon :D not to mention I think it would be gr9 for ollie to be taken down a peg or two and reminded of his privilege the way luke did with him in defenders.

I lowkey want sara lance to be jessica jones and have thea queen be trish walker. mostly I can literally picture sara looking at laurel (not knowing that’s her sister) with a scarf around her eyes saying “you look like an asshole” and laurel replying “it’s your scarf”. 

I realllllly love the idea of cisco ramon as claire temple. like can you imagine him finding laurel in the dumpster and laurel waking up and being like “who the hell are you?” and cisco just sighing exasperatedly saying “I’m the lucky guy who pulled you out of the garbage”. cisco works at starling general hospital in the emergency room and like claire he’s an er nurse and the unsung hero of starling and central city.

john diggle is definitely a contender for luke cage, but my misty knight is still unclear. maybe dinah drake? like that would be a lot of fun lbr. and she’s already a pretty badass cop so it would be cool. or maybe it’s just because I still love spartancanary and want them to hook up at least once ;)

mckenna hall is most definitely the brett mahoney of this universe - the one just being tired of all the goddamn superheroes in starling city but who also is reluctantly thankful for them at times. :) 

lena luthor would be an excellent jeri hogarth imo - mostly because she gives off sapphic vibes, lol, and has the capacity to be morally grey in an interesting way. 

[jordm]

Heartland 12x09 - Long Road Back review

Hey... Heartland people! We’re baaaack - and guess what? SO IS KATIE. and she’s in more than two scenes. We also got a Cassandra mention! (if only we actually saw her)

Georgie

Georgie almost faints during a run after she’s skipped breakfast, even to the point of throwing up. This isn’t a good sign.

Bigger warning: Georgie insisting she needs to practise more even though Kim is very very reluctant to let her, even to the point of saying rest is good after all this work. How about that foreshadowing from Amy? “Star should have never raced last week. This is exactly what can happen when a horse isn’t sound.” --> Trade in Star for Georgie and.... I mean this is pretty accurate.

Yes she wants to do everything she can to win but if Kim knew the lengths Georgie was going for, i’m not even sure she would allow it. She might even disallow (remove) Georgie as her client. This is 100% not Kim’s fault, since Kim is not there even for maybe 75% of the time she’s training/working out and is only there for the time in the ring practising, not for every meal or run. However maybe a talk about balance in life would help? Even if Georgie may not listen all together. 

Thing is, I also don’t blame Lou and Peter for blaming Kim initially. It’s a gut reaction, however Kim is right that Kim gives her the tools but Georgie is the one putting most of the pressure on herself - and thinking Lou selling the business for Switzerland didn’t help.

Anyways, Georgie wins the race but at a cost. She faints and is diagnosed with physical and emotional stress - but not an eating disorder as we suspected. Disappointed but not unexpected. I’m glad they didn’t go the whole eating disorder route - truthfully - if they couldn’t do it justice. At the same time, I think it could have been a great opportunity for Heartland but I digress.

It ends as fast as the problem begun. Georgie has a talk with her parents and Lou lets her knew she didn’t come sell Maggie’s - she sold Maggie’s because she wanted to be home more and that they will support Georgie in whatever she decides. So... problem solved?! Eh. Still wish there could be a little more... consequences, because it can’t be solved - it rarely is - THAT easily.

Anyways she calls Wyatt after her fainting spell and he doesn’t answer. Perhaps he’s just busy, perhaps he’s ignoring her and giving her space. Either way I don’t blame him for being upset for how she treated him last episode.

Ty, Amy (and Laura)

Laura does seem aware that what she’s doing to Shooting Star (Star) is not ethically correct; you can see on her face she’s deep (deep deep x1000) down worried. I’m also not convinced “one more race” is all she really wants but y’know. Actions and words are two different things, what can I say. I can also tell that even though this is money motivated, she is still trying to convince herself that Star and herself will be okay.

Luckily, they manage to pull Star from the race. Big ups to the the race manager person for believing a vet over Laura. Anyways, Star has acute renal pain - and his (her?) life is in danger even if Ty won’t say and it’s safe to say Laura made the situation a lot worse than it could be... and Ty also didn’t help his situation with Amy.

// Enter mini rant about Ty //

What can I say about Ty? Oh Ty, oh Ty. This ones ALL on you. When will you learn to not be so dismissive of your wife... no, YOUR PARTNER’S methods. That’s the bonus of having a partnership of people with two different views. When Amy suggests adding feeds, bringing in Cassandra (I’m aching for a Cass/Amy scene, I looove their friendship and they’ve come so far!) among other things, Ty dismisses it saying he doesn’t think it’ll help. And I am 100% on Amy’s side this time. This isn’t a partnership, this is more like Ty the vet and his ‘employee’. Only he can have final say and this isn’t right - at all. Like I said, actions and words are one thing and Ty keeps on apologizing but keeps on making the same mistake and acting the same way (see last episode)... so let’s see how long this lasts.

I’m also very disappointed in Amy for caving and saying sorry when she shouldn’t be sorry about anything. Hold your ground and stand up for what you believe in.

// end rant about Ty //

Anyways, Laura helps Star eat... and Ty wants to Laura to not be around Star. Amy is more on the end of ‘but she did help Star....” until she hears that Laura did shockwave therapy when Laura comes in to hand in her resignation. Oh and did I mention that THIS IS ALL WITHOUT LISA KNOWING WTF IS GOING ON?!?! There is so much wrong here.

Lisa

So Jack still hasn’t told Lisa and says that he will indeed tell Lisa before he leaves with the herd. However, like I said, actions and words are two different things and I don’t know if he actually will. But he tried... so I guess that’s worth something? What I don’t understand is why Amy and Ty couldn’t let Lisa know - why couldn’t it be Jack? Anyways now Laura is resigned and LISA HAS NO IDEA WHY! or the full story... when she should DEFINITELY know by now.

Jack, Tim and Mitch

Tim and Mitch take a meeting with Fred... without Jack. Something tells me this won’t end well. What I don’t get is why they can’t meet half way - for example if their current supply is X and Fred wants Y, why not meet halfway at a point between X and Y? But then again, maybe that wouldn’t lead to drama so...

Anyways Jack is NOT happy to hear about Tim and Mitch taking a meeting and you know what? i don’t blame him. Tim also takes the reigns on this whole herd thing, pushing them towards the river when Jack knew damn well the river would be too deep and running too fast. Turns out Tim was just taking out his anger on the whole Jack doesn’t want to expand problem.

“Things tend go wrong when you take shortcuts” - Jack (talking about the cattle run and the Garland offer)

This time, Mitch takes Jack’s side - or rather agrees that they all need to be on the same page. Which is by far the right page to be on.

Lou

Tim talks up Lou in front of Fred, ever so subtly and Mitch’s reaction is... something else. He has no right to be jealous, he’s fricking engaged. It appears that the other shoe has flipped, or whatever that preverbial saying is. In the beginning of the season, it was Lou who was jealous - now it’s Mitch’s turn. Can these two figure their shit out? I’m tired of the back and forth.

Lou asking for advice from Mitch is also super awkward. Didn’t they agree to not ask for advice about relationships/other ex’s to each other for the sake of their friendship? Or am I perhaps remembering this wrong?

Anyways, this guy Fred is obsessed about Grocery Stores - how do you revamp grocery stores? A book called Grocery? Only working holidays for examining Grocery Stores? This guy is definitely not for Lou. It’s safe to say there won’t be a second date.

Anyways Mitch comes to tell Lou - because he totally has the right yo - he doesn’t think the date is a good idea. And even if he is right because they don’t mesh, he also has no right. He’s engaged - and doesn’t seem to be very enthused about it.

Episode ends with Georgie being happy making chicken noodle soup - and you know what? I ship Lou having a healthy relationship with her ex (Peter) and being home more.

Songs in this episode @heartlandians

So You Can - Brian McKenna, Joseph Katsaros

I’d Do It All Over - Chloe Collins

Home - Joshua Hyslop

[thelightoflebanon]

SPN Characters and their Favorite (or least favorite) Social Media sites

Claire: Snapchat. It lets her family know that she's fine (thank you very much) and she only has to give them ten seconds of her time before they get the gist.

Jack: It is a toss up between Tumblr and Snapchat. On Tumblr, he finds some really cool posts and stories about his favorite shows (he didn't know other people were as passionate about Rae and Finn from My Mad Fat Diary as he was!) but with Snapchat he gets to be a disco cat.

Dean: Facebook groups are a decent way to talk with hunters but pass it off as LARPing should someone report a concerning comment, but Snapchat is one of the only ways Claire will actually talk to any of them so he gets on there the most. Also, disco cats are cool. He gets on Instagram but only follows Castiel on there.

Sam: Twitter has the best news sources and he can make sure his feed stays bipartisan. He avoids Facebook, but checks Facebook Messenger constantly.

Castiel: Definitely an Instagram man. He enjoys taking pictures of the burgers Dean insists on making him as well as the feral cat that hangs around outside of the bunker. Scruffy has become quite the internet sensation.

Mary: Facebook, partly because she can friend her old friends she had back before she died and pass herself off as her own niece. It's a good way to see a timeline of sorts regarding what she missed. She ends up unfriending the ones who are apparently quite racist now.

John: Why would he get on Social Media when he likes maybe 6 people max? He did find his mother on Facebook the short time he was on there though. Every time she posted on his timeline, she wrote it and signed off like a letter. John thought it was sweet, but mostly embarrassing so he disabled his account. When she called and asked why she couldn't find his page, he said he was hacked but then had to explain what hacking was.

Charlie: Tumblr. Enough said.

AU Charlie: Yeah, same.

Maggie: Still bummed that she missed out on Vine. Does YouTube count?

Lucifer: Twitter is definitely his least favorite. He wasn't surprised that a new president came into the White House after he infiltrated it but for someone who doesn't feel guilt, he does feel a little guilty about Trump. His tweets we're amusing at first, but COME ON. Even Lucifer knows when to shut up...eventually.

Bobby: He's one of the Hunter Facebook Group admins. John Winchester's request to join stayed in the pending queue until John deleted his account.

AU Bobby: Runs the rival Facebook group. Declined John Winchester's request to join every single time.

Garth: Snapchat, so he can make dog jokes with the puppy filter and pretend to be a scary werewolf. RAWR.

Crowley: Snapchat is definitely his least favorite. Why is he getting scary werewolf snaps from someone named Garth at 3 am?

Gabriel: Instagram, so that he can share pics of Monte Carlo and make people jealous over the fact that they don't have porn star friends.

Benny: Found a good Facebook support group for sober vampires. Thought about inviting Sam as a cruel joke but didn't want to make Dean mad.

Ketch: LiveJournal. Got to keep an eye on the Russians.

Kevin: YouTube has good conspiracy videos. Sometimes he finds himself believing them if he hasn't had enough sleep.

Rowena: Tumblr is an excellent way to connect with the wiccan community, as well as find orgies going on in her area!

Alex: Snapchat, if only for the fact that she can keep an eye for Claire check-ins, although Tumblr does have some medical nerds she can appreciate.

Patience: Social Media is distracting and her life is too filled with drama as it is. She's deleted her apps until further notice.

Kaia: Snaps disappear after a while so Kaia finds comfort in Snapchat. She also likes Claire's snaps...a lot. Especially the ones they send back and forth late at night.

Dark Kaia: The sound of her spear hitting against the bark of a tree is better than any status, tweet, or snap.

Jody: Snapchat because it embarrasses the girls.

Donna: Twitter seems to be the most useful way to let the citizens of Stillwater know what's afoot! But also Snapchat because it REALLY embarrasses the girls.

Eileen: Facebook, since it has video chat in messenger and sometimes she goes a while without seeing Sam in person.

Adam: There's no Wi-Fi in Hell.

[marjaystuff]

Elise Cooper Interviews Tess Gerritsen

Choose Me by Tess Gerritsen and Gary Braver delve into the world of adultery.  The story conjures up feelings of betrayal, deception, guilt, and personal responsibility.

The novel opens with the death of college student Taryn Moore, who supposedly plunged to her death from the balcony of her apartment.  But Boston Detective Frankie Loomis wonders if the death really was a suicide, or could it be possibly a murder.  For her, the clues do not add up, knowing how college age girls act (considering she has raised twin daughters). After discovering additional and sordid secrets, the detective is even more convinced that Taryn’s death is not what it seems.

The narrative works backwards from the discovery of Taryn's body and is delivered in alternating chapters by Taryn, Jack, and Frankie. The suspects include Professor Jack Dorian, his wife, Dr. Maggie, Taryn’s seminar nemesis, mean girls Jessica and Caitlin, Cody Atwood, the shy seminar student who has a crush on Taryn, and Liam the ex-boyfriend who Taryn is stalking.

As the book progresses, readers will also realize that Taryn is not the innocent victim. She has a dangerous streak where she can be ruthless and selfish.  This shows in her two relationships, one with Liam, a childhood sweetheart who outgrew her, and the other with Jack, her college professor. With both, Taryn becomes a stalker, unwilling to accept the relationship is over.  

Taryn sees herself as a victim and becomes obsessed with that feeling.  After taking a college seminar, “Star Crossed Lovers,” she realizes the similarities between herself and women in Medieval and Greek mythology. All have been betrayed and abandoned by men in relationships. Whether it was Abelard and Heloise, Tristan and Isolde, Romeo and Juliet, or Jason and Medea, the men said the words “I love you,” but not for a lifetime.  

The many twists and turns make for an exciting read.  The authors turned the characters on their heads making the supposed victim unlikeable and the adulterer, the one people root for.

Elise Cooper: How did you get the idea for the story?

Tess Gerritsen: It occurred to me these kinds of events that are a “he said, she said,” always have two points of view.  The man sees it differently than the woman.  I thought how interesting it would be to base a story on an illicit affair.  I talked about it with Gary, and he agreed to write the male point of view, while I wrote the female view.

Gary Braver:  I wrote Jack and Tess did Detective Frankie Loomis and Taryn.  We wrote by going back and forth with email.  

EC:  As the book progressed, I did not see Taryn as a victim and even disliked her.

TG:  People are not supposed to like her just because she is a victim.  There are shades of gray.  We wanted to show how a victim can also be a villain. What readers want and what they desire are two different things.  They think they want a likeable character but really want a fascinating character.  I point to Scarlett O’ Hara.  She is not a likeable character, but we cannot walk away because she is so interesting.  

EC:  I actually thought of Jack as the victim.

TG: Jack was the one person in the book who needed to be liked because he is our hero.

GB:  I liked Jack and identified with him.  I think he became a sympathetic character because of his sense of guilt and regret.  He knew what he did was wrong when he violated his martial vows and professorial obligations.  Title IX says professors should not date their students.  Jack had an adulterous affair and was tormented with what he did.

EC:  How would you describe Taryn?

TG:  Brilliant, charming, and beautiful.  She was like a train wreck because of her obsessiveness and how damaged and hurt she was.  In the beginning she was vulnerable, betrayed, hurt, and damaged, but as the story went on, she became selfish. Her personality is like peeling an onion.  As readers get deeper and deeper into knowing her, they realize she is not who she seems to be at the beginning.  

EC:  How would you describe Jack?

GB:  Sensitive, needy, and longs for romanticism. At times he wants to believe that circumstances at home pushed him into Taryn’s arms because his wife is on a treadmill with her practice.  We did not want to vilify either character or exonerate them.

EC:  What role does Jack’s wife Maggie play?

TG:  Is she an innocent victim or possible suspect?  She is the anchor to Jack.  We wrote her to show the consequences of a mistake and how lives are destroyed.  Jack sees it as possibly losing the love of his life, Maggie.

GB:  She is smart, dedicated, and a professional. She would never have an affair.  Both she and Jack are devoted to and love each other.  

EC:  How would you describe Detective Frankie Loomis?

TG:  She is a middle-aged mother of two teenage daughters with the wisdom of motherhood.  She can sniff out trouble.  I see Frankie as Jane Rizzoli in twenty years.

EC:  What about the relationship between Taryn and Jack?

TG:  Jack fulfills a romantic need as well as a parental lead for Taryn.  Her father abandoned her, so she sees Jack as a romantic hero, the man to protect her.  

EC:  Medieval literature and Greek Mythology?

GB:  In his seminar, “Star Struck Lovers,” Jack uses classical stories where men used and abandoned women.  It is the unity that holds the book together.  These ancient classics are still being debated by feminists today regarding what is an accurate and inaccurate way to interpret them.  It is a history of men who do wrong and fall on their swords.

TG:  Taryn feels closest to Medea who gets revenge.  I would have taken this seminar if I were in college.  The stories we found are ones where Taryn would see herself of being abandoned or losing a lover.  They were role models for her on how she would behave.  She put herself into their lives to help her live her life.

EC:  Can you explain this quote from Taryn.  “But if you believe entirely in fate, then you believe we have no control over our futures.  That some higher power decides everything for us, good and bad.  That means there are no coincidences in life, no accidents, no laws of nature, and no free will… People are ultimately responsible for their own actions.”

GB:  It was referring to Romeo and Juliet and based on the notion ‘I am fated to be your lover.  We are to be with each other for the rest of our lives.’

TG:  Gary wrote that part of fate versus self-control.  I agree that a lot of people feel they are not responsible anymore.  Fate made someone do it or some politician.  We need to take responsibility for our own actions.  We also need to face the consequences for our actions without blaming anyone else.

EC:  What do you want readers to get out of the book?

TG:  It is not just a murder mystery, but also an exploration of how flawed people are.  A mistake can destroy someone’s life and that we are responsible for the things we do.  

EC:  What about your next books?

TG:  I just finished Rizzoli & Isles book thirteen.  It is titled, Listen To Me and will be out in June 2022.  It features Jane’s mom, Angela, who has an ex-cop boyfriend.  She is frustrated because she feels no one listens to her concerns.  People do not necessarily believe her instincts that something is really wrong in her neighborhood.

I am working on a spy novel.  The protagonist works for the CIA and I got the idea from many retired CIA agents that live in my neighborhood.  

[greed-the-dorkalicious]

How did you learn Japanese? Any tips for a beginner?

Honestly, I mostly learned on my own. I took a class once, but it was terrible. Didn’t teach me jack shit. I mostly learn through blogs like Tofugu, Maggie-sensei, and Tae Kim’s Guide, but I also use WaniKani (although I’ve been neglecting my studies lately...)

Other resources I use are Denshi Jisho (seriously this is pretty much the most important one), Lang-8, and a Chrome extension called Rikaikun.

Some tips for beginners:

Learn hiragana as soon as you can. This seems to be the latest version of what I used (back when I did it it was a PDF called Hiragana 42 because the president of Tofugu is a big HGTTG nerd), and I learned hiragana in a day, so... yeah. And of course, katakana next, though it’s not overall as important as hiragana and kanji. Your goal is basically to ditch romaji as quickly as possible, because it honestly just makes things more difficult.

The very basics of grammar is another thing you should learn early on. I’d recommend starting with particles (no, wa, de, to, etc.) and then after that, the difference between plain and polite form, and then more verb conjugations.

Don’t learn kanji just by picking random kanji, writing them out 500 times until your wrist hurts, and trying uselessly to memorize the readings. That’s bullshit and will just be wasting time when you could be learning more stuff. I’d honestly recommend just using WaniKani if you can spring the $10 a month (I think that’s how much it costs? I have a discount for being a beta user or something so it’s $8 for me), but otherwise you can still kind of apply their basic technique: Start with the most simple kanji, things like 一, 人, 大, 日, 水, and so forth, working your way up to the more complicated ones. Try to come up with mnemonics for the readings and meanings, and look for words that those kanji are in and learn those too.

Listen to Japanese music, and more importantly, learn the lyrics. Seriously, it’ll help a lot. It’ll help build vocabulary, it’ll help with your pronunciation, and music can also be helpful for remembering words; I know I still use the beginning of Fear Garden to remember how to count things. Once you get a little more confident in your abilities, translating songs is a really good way to learn! Songs tend to have simple sentence structure and it’s easy to find lyrics and such online, so it’s a great place to start. DON’T try to translate things from romaji, though. Trust me, you will get it wrong. Use the kana lyrics and if there’s something you can’t read, that’s what Jisho is for. Also, once you get your hiragana reading skills up, Japanese karaoke videos are a good way to practice! 

Try to expose yourself to Japanese in everyday life. As I mentioned, listen to music. Maybe print out some posters with lots of Japanese text and put them on your wall, or watch videos on NicoNicoDouga. Follow your favorite Japanese speakers on social media (if you’re into Vocaloid, OSTER Project’s twitter is hilarious and hella gay). If you’re lucky enough to live near Kinokuniya or another store that sells Japanese books, buy some of your favorite manga in Japanese. One thing that helped me is that a few years ago I was really into MMD, especially Hetalia, and I used a lot of Japanese models. I was kind of forced to learn katakana if I wanted to be able to tell the difference between リヒテンシュタイン and リトアニア, you know?

Good luck!! がんばれ！