#lots of rambling comments and thoughts

[somnimagus]

My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.

[id in alt text]

[1000sunnygo]

Law is a lovable character. But I think it blinds people to his flaws.

If Kidd's defeat is considered karma for his bad decisions and bad leadership, the same applies to Law. In fact, in some ways, Law did worse than Kidd. Heart pirates were the least prepared for the race to claim One Piece.

Without Law, Heart pirates had no name and no face. It wasn't because they worked as a team, I think there was an intention to keep them under a veil of protection. Law's appearance contrasted the rest of his crew mates. He pulled the world's attention towards solely himself, perhaps so his friends could mix within the crowd as civilians when he's gone..

Similar to Luffy, Law wasn't particularly looking for strong people. Now take Usopp as an example. He was a regular village boy with great sharpshooting skills. Roughly, he had the same starting point as Penguin and Shachi, but now he's leagues above them bounty and achievement-wise. Straw hats' journey had a clear aim to be the very best, each of them faced the worst adversaries and grew as the crews of the future Pirate king. Penguin and Sachi, on the other hand, spent over a decade with a Captain who they believed was aiming for a great treasure, when in reality, the Captain was stuck in his own world. He was fighting a lone battle with his friends completely left in the dark.

The lack of transparent communication weakened the crew's foundation. They were sheltered by an overprotective captain, it stunted their growth. In fact, it was simply dishonest of Law to lie about his ambition.

Law's detailed background wasn't decided back then, I think we can overlook this one. When Oda drew the panel above, I'm pretty sure Law in his mind was a much more grey character.

Kidd pirates knew what Kidd wanted. They joined their Captain's reckless adventures willingly and gleefully, Kidd never let them feel like a burden. Zoro and Killer could fight beside their captains on the rooftop, but Bepo - a polar bear mink with a great potential - wasn't ready to be there.

Law realized his goal to claim One Piece only a few days prior to leaving wano, and instead of taking time to grow as a team, he marched ahead to join the flow. I don't think he had many options, but it doesn't hurt to acknowledge his shortcomings.

At the end of day, Blackbeard can't be blamed for playing the game like a pirate. The fault was Law's. His crew was trained to tame the depth of the northern sea, not to find their place in a titan's battle royale.

[ofsunshineandfoxes]

You ever think about how renee went to juvie just like andrew but because she’s so nice now, probably no one knows? Like I imagine she got hate when she joined the foxes for being a girl, but do you think anyone ever went beyond that? Stopped to dig up her past? We all know she wouldn’t be hiding it but did ‘the public’ ever stop to look?

Like canonically she’s done worse shit than andrew? But they’re treated so differently. Is it just because his is more recent? And he doesn’t smile prettily? Probably, but that’s still kinda wild.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

charles is sweating at the sight of green tea

green tea is serious business

[sunflowersand-bees]

can I just say that I love the way arcane portrays grief. specifically when we refer to powder’s breakdowns in season one act one. when vi tells her to stay behind and then the confrontation between her and vi after the explosion. because it’s ugly. it’s not pretty, it’s not watered down.

and it’s real. that’s how I cry. when I was little and now. if I’m angry and having a breakdown, that’s how I cry. I scream and I yell and I hit myself and I bite myself and I make a mess. our emotions aren’t pretty. and they don’t try and make it pretty.

[epickiya722]

So I'm looking through the comments of this one video about the reveal about Wasuke being the reincarnated and this comment actually put me in my feelings.

Like??? Nah, it's too early for me to cry right now.

[quatregats]

I'm rereading Master and Commander and I'm deeply in danger of just posting every single passage from it ever but I did love the way that the capture of the prize in Chapter 6 was framed on either side by the logbook's entry, and also the way he transitions out of it to set the scene and tone:

Sunday, July 1 … Mustered the ship’s company by divisions read the Articles of War performed Divine Service and committed the body of Henry Gouges to the deep. At noon dº weather. Ditto weather: but the sun sank towards a livid, purple, tumescent cloud-bank piled deep on the western horizon, and it was clear to every seaman aboard that it was not going to remain ditto much longer. The seamen, sprawling abroad on the fo’c’sle and combing out their long hair or plaiting it up again for one another, kindly explained to the landmen that this long swell from the south and east, this strange sticky heat that came both from the sky and the glassy surface of the heaving sea, and this horribly threatening appearance of the sun, meant that there was to be a coming dissolution of all natural bonds, an apocalyptic upheaval, a right dirty night ahead. The sailormen had plenty of time to depress their hearers, already low in their spirits because of the unnatural death of Henry Gouges (had said, ‘Ha, ha, mates, I am fifty years old this day. Oh dear,’ and had died sitting there, still holding his untasted grog) – they had plenty of time, for this was Sunday afternoon, when in the course of nature the fo’c’sle was covered with sailors at their ease, their pigtails undone. Some of the more gifted had queues they could tuck into their belts; and now that these ornaments were loosened and combed out, lank when still wet, or bushy when dry and as yet ungreased, they gave their owners a strangely awful and foreboding look, like oracles; which added to the landmen’s uneasiness.

[...]

Jack leant back against the curved run of the stern-window and let Killick’s version of coffee down by gulps into his grateful stomach; and at the same time that its warmth spread through him, so there ran a lively tide of settled, pure, unfevered happiness – a happiness that another commander (remembering his own first prize) might have discerned from the log-entry, although it was not specifically mentioned there: 1/2 past 10 tacked, 11 in courses, reefed topsail. AM cloudy and rain. 1/2 past 4 chase observed E by S, distance 1/2 mile. Bore up and took possession of dº, which proved to be L’Aimable Louise, French polacre laden with corn and general merchandise for Cette, of about 200 tons, 6 guns and 19 men. Sent her with an officer and eight men to Mahon.

[thatfriendlyanon]

i want to remember how loved i am. i want to keep seeing myself through the windows of other people’s eyes, the ones who swaddle me in their affection. show me what i look like with laughter rupturing from my body, what i look like when i've gotten lost in thought for the seventeenth time, what i look like when i stop you on our walk yet again so i can take another picture of a stray sunbeam caught between the trees. i hope i don't sound conceited, talking about myself like this, but rather i hope you hear how much i love being loved by you. what i mean is that i look fuller and brighter when i catch a glimpse of myself through your eyes. maybe i don't really know myself at all. maybe my truest self is not the stickly shadow stretched across my wall when i'm unable to sleep, but rather who you see when you swing open the door: a girl curled up on your couch, wedged between two friends, blocky jumper the color of a sunset & hair still tinged with golden hour, eyes bright as pebbles double-skipped from shore. what i mean is that i love you. what i mean is that you love me so well. what i mean is that love may be the cleanest, brightest mirror of all.

[radiomogai]

excuse me, you recently related a post with a tag asking if people remembered when people cared about recoining things and I’ve been thinking about it and I’m wondering if you meant that caring about recoining was good or bad?

We dislike re-coining. I don't have the spoons to explain the full part of it, but it mostly comes down to our more general criticisms of the extent of individualism in the MOGAI community (recoins, especially when they are of terms that have already been coined many times, often feel as though they are disregarding the contributions of other coiners, as well as ignoring the community symbol purpose of flags) and it feels disrespectful to the work of archivists. Every time we see another gender related to the song I/Me/Myself by Will Wood and nothing else, we feel like our work and our efforts in not only preventing terms from being lost as well as making them so easy to search for is, uh. Pointless. Not valued. We've spoken about this with some other archivists who have said they feel the same.

There are five (5) genders related to that song on our blog alone, by the way, and that's only counting the ones that have no other specifications. There are also five (5) related to the album Everything Is A Lot, and four (4) related to the song Thermodynamic Lawyer, and four (4) related to The Normal Album. Again, this is only counting ones without any other specifications, and are only the ones posted on our blog. This is a regular thing.

[fatedroses]

May I humbly request more Mateus+Zenos content/lore? Their silliness fascinates and captivates me.

Absolutely Anon! And I'm glad to hear it ^o^. I'm gonna slap this under a read more though cause this is probably gonna be pretty long lol

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Mateus (I realize I don't think I ever specified that he's closer to the twins/fordola/arenvald in age, he's 19/20 by EW) was "studying" engineering before the death of his father and the subsequent fall of the empire. He excels in building advanced machina, and was primarily just coasting through the academy to build up both his reputation and his connections. Similar to Zenos he was fascinated by magic, and thusly dedicated a lot of time experimenting with ways to conduct and command aether.

Despite being the favored son Varis could not keep track of Mateus' whereabouts even when he had doubts, and Mateus has no qualms lying through his teeth even to his family and even to his mother. This meant that when he was out, he was often either out salvaging or using allowance to fund his projects, or doing his own martial training as a pastime.

What Mateus was doing was both fixing up an old decommissioned airship, and making "Heaven" and "Hell", two humanoid machines he was making for the purpose of conquest. He was often daydreaming of the day Zenos or Varis would ask him to join them, and is a bit of a sore spot for him after having to flee the collapse and finding Zenos with the scions later down the line.

Heaven is a large multi-armed siege machine that doubles as an autopilot for the airship. It stores aether to charge Mateus' staff, and primarily works to protect him. Hell is based visually off of Zenos' old armor, and is a hyper aggressive machine that Mateus can wear as a suit if he's feeling particularly destructive. The ship, Mateus, and the machina basically operate together like a bullet hell lmfao. Hell also starts getting Zenos into a shit ton of trouble especially with the alliance when Mateus starts wreaking havoc behind everyone's backs and Zenos starts getting blamed for it.

Post-EW Mateus is spending his time trying to salvage and aid (take over) Garlemald, often accompanied by the only two outside his family still around that really knows the truth of his existence: Julia and Annia. The Soranus sisters, especially after Zenos returned to the palace, were basically big sisters to Mateus, however he wasn't as attached to them as he was to his actual family, and sees them more as useful pawns than as mentors.

Mateus despises Alphinaud and Alisaie, and Estinien, the same way Asahi did to WoL. Meteor gets to dodge this purely by virtue that Mateus finds him useful (and in a way tries to treat him likes he treats Zenos in an attempt to win him over too). But he gets aggressively bitter whenever Zenos dotes on Alphinaud or Alisaie at all. Even despite him trying to cover his intentions they push his buttons unintentionally to either get him into arguments with the former, or fights with the latter (and starts snapping a bit when Zenos gives the twins advice/training and Mateus loses most footing he has on both fronts.)

Alphinaud especially is very wary of Mateus because he can tell there's something synthetic about his facade, and tries very hard to both glean his intentions and pick out where his lies are and why. Alisaie however is just ready to throw down with him tbh, especially when Zenos starts struggling with figuring out how to handle him, and even moreso whenever Mateus is trying to isolate Zenos.

Now... why Estinien? It's less the feeling of being replaced like it is for the twins, and moreso Mateus being an overbearing and bullheaded younger brother and thinking for some forsaken reason Zenos and Estinien are in a secret relationship. He is very adamant about this conspiracy and Zenos himself is unable to pry why Mateus gets so aggravated with Estinien, when the dragoon literally is just existing there and only intervenes with Zenos whenever Mateus is picking on the twins.

Why this came into existence is just because I write Zenos and Estinien as a really close duo (to the point tbh that it's kinda fair for Mateus to assume it despite the rest of the scions knowing this isn't the case).

The two bonded over hunting together, and Estinien and his /lean wall is just what Zenos naturally gravitates to if he isn't needed for something. They also argue like an old married couple with Zenos getting on Estinien's ass over finances or him blowing himself up doing dragon dragoon bullshit, and Estinien likewise is either grabbing this man by his golden locks for trying to be the last to get tended to for injuries, or prodding at him when he's trying to pry into why Zenos is either being moody or starts falling back into apathy.

Mateus also just gets aggravated with the fact that Zenos has the most physical "dependence" with Estinien, and being the spoiled baby brother meant that he wasn't a fan of whenever Zenos chooses to lean on or rest his head on Estinien (because post-ew zenos is very physically clingy and Mateus is not used to his brother seeking affection let alone reacting to it). Estinien in turn indulges it cause he's a bro like that and honestly Zenos is so genuine about it all that it's hard for him to find a reason not to, and he's so used to him protecting him, picking him up, and throwing him that the proximity is just second nature by now LOL.

So with all that, it is very unfortunate for Mateus when he tries to corner Estinien and threatens him to try and get him to go away. Because the intimidation fails miserably Estinien leans deeply into the conspiracy just to piss the spoiled little brat off (or, because I frankly dont mind people using the lore/concepts/characters I write for their own stuff and someone ships dork and dorkier over here he's deadass just more outwardly affectionate). Meanwhile Zenos is blissfully unaware for the most part, man's just happy to have the companionship lol.

[sorrinslays]

Gepard-Sampo confrontation

Roleswap AU

Gepard is running. That, in it of itself, is not rare. He's used to running. Either from people he stole from or the Silvermane Guards. Sampo Koski, the Captain of the Silvermane Guards, is chasing him. That isn't unusual either.

What is unusual, is that the blonde is panting and struggling to keep going. That is strange. For whatever reason, the Captain is much more determined to catch him. They've been running around for almost six hours with no breaks and, from the looks of it, the blue-haired man can keep going for at least another hour.

That is Unusual. Capital U.

Usually, after an hour or two, Sampo loses him in a chase. Or he gets distracted by other matters. Not today though.

And it's making the thief wonder, what the hell did he do for the Captain to be on his ass this ferociously?! Did he pickpocket from a friend of his? No, that can't be right. Gepard is always mindful to avoid messing with soldiers or any acquaintances of Sampo's. Did he offend the little girls that hover around Sampo at some point? They did come to him the other day asking to play...

Shit, is the Captain hunting him down like some kind of prey because he refused to play hide and seek with them?!?!

This is bad. He's going to get arrested after ten years because he refused to play hide and seek with some toddlers. Is this really how Gepard Landau's story ends?

Too lost in his thoughts, the thief trips, resulting in a crash on the pavement. He can hear playful whistling behind him and it doesn't take a genius to figure out who's humming a tune. "Well hello there Geppie!" a very aggravating voice calls out, chuckling.

Groaning, the blonde gets up, a frown on his face and his ears red. He doesn't grace the Captain with a response as he continues trying to even out his breathing.

"Aw, not even a hello?" this grown ass man fucking pouts, batting his eyelashes and making embarrassing faces. Yet, he's not making any attempts to arrest the thief. Why?

"You're not arresting me," Gepard points out, earning a raised eyebrow.

"Excellent deduction skills Geppie," the jade-eyed man chuckles, "could've mistaken you for a Silvermane."

Ignoring the other's comments, "why?" the thief asks simply.

"Straight to business, eh?" the Captain smiles, "I can work with that," he starts walking towards the other, "I have a deal for you, dearest Landau. One that I think you simply cannot refuse."

The blue-eyed man frowns at that. "Why would the Captain of the Silvermane Guards want to make a deal with someone like me?" he asks.

Sampo tilts his head at that, walking even closer. It feels as though he's circling his prey. "You know the newcomers?" he asks. "What are the names again...?" he hums in thought, clicking his tongue. "May 11th? Dan Feng?"

"March 7th, Dan Heng and the Trailblazer," the blonde answers. "What about them?"

"The supreme guardian just assigned them as criminals," the Captain comments. He keeps his eyes on Gepard, as if waiting for a specific reaction.

"Criminals?" the thief repeats, "why?" he asks. They seemed like good people...

"She accused the three of plotting against her," the jade-eyed man shrugs.

His choice of words is weird. Sampo is smart, especially with words. So there must be a reason behind this odd phrasing. "Why are you telling me all this?" the blue-eyed man asks.

Whatever reaction the Captain was looking for, he must've found it, because he smiles wide, all teeth. "Seele is sent to arrest them tomorrow first thing in the morning," he says, "they are gonna ambush them outside the hotel they are staying at right this second."

Gepard's frown gets deeper as he asks once more, "this is interesting and all, but, again, why are you telling me all this?"

"I need you to take them to the Underworld," the Captain says bluntly.

What.

"What?" the thief asks, "I don't know if you know, but the Underground has been sealed for ten years."

"And that's where my end of the deal comes into play!" Sampo beams, "I'll show you a secret passage to enter the Underworld, without anyone knowing, and in return I need you to guide those three in the Underworld!"

To say Gepard is stunned would be an understatement. "...Secret passage?" he asks with a shaky voice. Those exist? All this time, he could've sneaked off to find his sisters again?

"Yup!" the jade-eyed man popes the 'p'. "Got a couple of those," he answers, "and I'm willing to share one of them. Let's call it an, ah, secret. Just between us, okay, Gep?"

The thief feels tears build up, his vision slightly blurry. It's so overwhelming. He'll be able to see his sisters again. After ten years. All thanks to a guy that is supposed to be arresting him.

"Aw," the other man coos, "don't cry Geppie," he smiles sweetly as he wipes again the tears with his thumbs. All while avoiding touching Gepard as much as possible. "What do ya say?" he asks.

"You've got yourself a deal," the tears are replaced by a look of determination.

Sampo's smile widened, like a cat that caught the canary.

After the "meeting" with the Captain yesterday, Gepard found himself near Goethe Hotel, hiding in one of the numerous alley ways. He is peaking at the main street while the other man is leaning against the wall with a cigarette in his hands, smiling lazily.

"Why are we sitting here?" the blue-eyed man asks, "shouldn't we go and get them before the guards do?"

"And risk being seen with them?" the jade-eyed man raises an eyebrow, "there's no way we can sneak past the guards right now, not to mention the normal folks that are hanging out there."

Frowning, the thief huffs, "then are we doing here?" he eyes the other, who takes a drag out his cigarette. "What's your plan?"

Sampo just smiles, walking over to the other. "We're here," he pauses for a moment for dramatic effect, "to wait for a scene."

Gepard's frown deepens, "what do you-"

The Captain cuts him off, "there it is," he narrows his eyes at the sight just outside the alleyway.

Turning his gaze to where Sampo is looking, he is met with a surprising scene. There, the trailblazers are being led to Qlipoth Fort by some guards. Seele, the commander of the Silvermane Guards, is behind them in the distance. Next to her is Luka, the Intellegence Officer of the Silvermane Guards.

"We should help them," the thief turns back towards the other.

"Not yet," the Captain hums. As he says that, the grey-haired outsider hits one of the guards with their bat before all three of them turn to an alley that is full of fragmentum.

Gepard is about to say something, urge the other to help the outsiders. The jade-eyed man beats him to it, saying, "let's go."

The duo keeps up with the outsiders, making sure to stay hidden from the guards. Soon, Seele separates from the other soldiers and finds the trailblazers.

The commander attacks the outsiders, and the thief turns towards the Captain, "they aren't going to win this," he states, "we need to do something, now."

Sampo's eyes narrow and he takes something out of his pocket. Is that...?

"Is this a bomb?!" the blue-eyed man whisper-yells, "what are you thinking?!"

The jade-eyed man just chuckles, ignoring the other as he lights three small bombs and sends them towards the heated battle.

Immediately, smoke erupts, and a small part of Gepard's mind sighs in relief. The others are coughing and covering their faces as the Captain casually enters the smoke-filled area, completely unaffected.

"I apologize for the interruption!" Sampo says, no hint of struggling to take a breath like the others around him. "But Sampo is not one to turn his back to friends in need. I say what I mean and I mean what I say."

Just as he finishes his little speech, the Trailblazer, the last one conscious, passes out and slowly the smoke dispenses. When the cost is clear, Gepard walks over to the Captain, seeing him pick up Dan Heng and Seele.

As the thief watches Sampo work, an uncomfortable feeling creeps up his spine. He can outrun Gepard and he had smoke bombs with sleeping gas for Qlipoth's sake! For the better part of a decade, he could catch the thief anytime and he just. Chose not to.

Too lost in thought, he didn't noticing the jade-eyed man walk over to him. He jolts violently when he hears the other's voice again, "come on, pretty boy, pick up the other two for me."

Dumbly, the blue-eyed man nods, doing as told. Before he realizes something. "You're taking the commander too?!" he asks, a panicked expression on his face.

"Yup!" Sampo says, popping the 'p' as he starts walking away. Hurrying to catch up with him, Gepard holds the trailblazer and March 7th tighter. "She deserves a change of scenery, don't ya think?"

The thief remains silent, following the other as they pass through never ending alleyways, avoiding all guards. Soon, they are in some sort of tunnel, opened by a manhole cover. And while he knows that he should be paying attention to his surroundings, the blonde can't help but try and make sense of the other's 'plan'.

The Underworld was pretty underprivileged, especially compared to the Overworld. He and his siblings came to realize that when they moved there for the sake of cheaper rent. And, technically speaking, Seele has never really seen the Underworld.

So the jade-eyed man taking the commander there while also saving the criminals from the law does make sense. But what then? Best case scenario Seele manages to go back up and everything goes back to normal and worst case she never gets back and a new commander is selected.

So, again, what is the bluenette's plan? And also why is he actively helping criminals (including Gepard)?

"Ask away," the Captain suddenly says, jolting the other right out of his thoughts.

"What?" the thief frowns, readjusting his hold on the two people he's holding. They take a left turn, he notes.

Sampo chuckles, "you're not good at hiding your thoughts Geppie," he teases, "I can practically hear your thoughts."

Glancing at the man who is walking a few steps ahead, Gepard shakes his head and starts walking a bit faster. "Why are you doing this?"

"I'm doing a lot of things right now, Gep," the jade-eyed man smiles, "ya gotta be more specific."

The blonde can't help but frown more, "you know what I mean," he weakly defends, "why are you helping them? And why did you bring Seele with you?" after a small pause, he decides to ask, "why are you helping me?"

The bluenette shrugs at that, "they're not bad people," he states, "and while in the past I might've listened to Natasha no questions asked, her recent orders are..." he hums in thought before shaking his head. "Either way, this one has been staring at the moon so much she has missed the butterflies, don't you think?" he asks, pointing with his head towards the unconscious Seele.

"You are making zero sense right now, just so you know," the blue-eyed man informs the other, "I genuinely don't know how your guards tolerate or even understand you."

The Captain just laughs once more, "where's the fun in making sense?" he asks, although it's obvious he isn't expecting an answer. "As for you," he shifts the topic, "I wouldn't say I'm helping you as much as I'm making profit, you know? You can do what I need you to and I have something you want. A fair deal, really."

Frown deepening, the thief speaks once more. "But what's your plan after this?" he asks, "what is the purpose behind all of this? Do you even have a plan?"

"Would you look at that!" Sampo exclaims, "we're here!" he smiles, "now, just head to Cocolia's clinic, I'm sure you know her, her new clinic is in the center of Boulder Town, a man named Peak is gonna come and help you," he explains, setting Seele and the Trailblazer down, "now I gotta run before Natasha looks for me! Bye Geppie, good luck!" he blows a kiss as he leaves.

Needless to say Gepard is very confused.

[jils-things]

give me like 2 seconds and ill shut up abt this sam plsspslslslnfndksls

what i really like abt this design is the fact that it REALLY reflects that he's a band, kinda punk guy but he's the friendly goofy kind of punk... his piercings add more emphasis to it. i wasnt entirely the biggest fan of his pointed hair because it felt a little out of place and unnatural (anime-ish) compared to everyone else. (if his hair looked more like kent's then that's fine for me) but this ... i know it kinda removed the hard spikes in his hair but in a way... i kinda like ... its still swept away like his og but it isn't forcefully pointing upwards. its like he used too much gel and its suiting LOL AHDBSHS its nicey.... the bandage is a nice touch because i imagine he fell over his skateboard a few times when he does his kickflips

BUUUUT OF COURSE THATS MY OPINION ‼️‼️ IDK‼️‼️ I NEVER PLAYED HIS HEART EVENTS SOOO UH BE NICE AMDNNDDND

[leon-on-the-froggy-chair]

Remembering that one time i got cancelled in a tiktok comment section for implying Luis isn't white

[paintpanic]

What are your thoughts on Susie?

I'm a Susie enjoyer! She's not one of my favorites, but that's been rapidly changing as of recent. She's fun and cute and pink and a little bit evil. I dig it!

Her story is cool. It's very funny to me that like halfway through Robobot decides to have a plot going on, but I'm into it. Her little monologues to Kirby before boss fights are great and a super fun way to characterize her.

I wish her backstory was clearer and not revealed via Miiverse post. I'd love to know more about her time in Another Dimension. How long was she there? In an interview, Kumazaki says she came back "after [she] grew up". How did she get back? How did her time there influence her ideals and morals? It's something that feels like it should have a much greater effect on her character than it's shown to.

I really hate how she's demonized by parts of the fandom. Like yes she's a bad guy but I'd argue that she's about equally as bad as Taranza, a character beloved by fans and who's bad actions are often glossed over (including by myself). Both of them helped an evil person who was trying to destroy Pop Star and made a main character fight Kirby. The discrepancy in how they're treated by fans feels kind of sexist to some degree to me.

TL;DR: Susie is a character with a really neat backstory and potentially interesting morals to play with. She's not a great person but also free my girl she's adorable.

[tinyevilgremlin]

castaway diva / ep9.

the more i think about this scene of kiho breaking down after the confrontation, the more it breaks me

there had to be some part of him that hoped, however miniscule that hope was, that his father might have changed, even if only a little, throughout those years. that he couldn't possibly have stayed the same violent and bitter man even after all that time, and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't have to resort to extreme means to keep him away from his family.

but it's crushed the moment he enters the house and the first thing his father does is suspect him, and when his suspicions are confirmed, immediately launches into a violent fit. all the while kiho coils in on himself as he takes the beating— and for those few moments all i could think about was the young kiho, helpless and weak with no one to protect him from the man called his 'father'. a figure who's supposed to protect him and care for him.

what makes it even more heartbreaking is that it is truth in television for most, if not all, cases of abuse. the perpetrators continue with the same mindset, and rarely, if ever, change or show remorse. meanwhile, the victims/survivors are left to deal with the damage for the rest of their lives. even when they reach a better position in life and gain a support system, it continues to haunt them in the present. and it's evident in kiho, as his first instinct upon realising that the father has almost found them, is to take it upon himself to face him, all alone, even though the thought must terrify him. because that's what he learnt to do ever since he was young.

after everything— threats and warnings done, kiho walks to his car in a daze and that's when the futility of it all hits him in full force. watching him try to hold back tears, the bitter smile, as he fails and his body completely gives in to loud sobs was just... nothing could have prepared me for it, even if it was there in the preview. it's such a raw and heavy scene, and the background score only adds to it, along with, of course, the acting.

castaway diva isn't perfect by any means, but some scenes, for example this one, are definitely going to linger with me for a while.

[hollypies]

I was really nervous but I figured I'd post this just incase any of my friends wanted to see it-

It isn't really relevant to any art and stuff that I do but uhm.

Look, I'm really struggling right now, trying to do things for me more often again. It's reallt stupid, because like, this is mt blog and I should be able to post about what I like and I should feel ok doing that but I just feel like I've hit a wall. Im so nervous all the time now, like I'm going to be annoying for writing/drawing/talking about my interests. I'm trying not to do that so, uhm. Here's a first step in the right direction ig

Tldr. Having a hard time, trying to enjoy doing any type of art for myself again .