#lucakai posting again

[lucaserrant]

“you big on chaos duo?” DONT EVEN JOKE LAD😭😭😭😭

[a-wild-yuumi-appeared]

Negativity below, tl;dr I don’t really enjoy rping here anymore.

As my followers know... I tend to write a lot, and even if Yuumi is a very silly muse, I try to give her depth... and i love my side-muses as well, characters that exist on sideblogs. I love writing, exploring many facets of a character’s mind, and all sorts of scenarios.

And... this has led me to a strange situation.

People here (in general, not everyone but a large majority of the RPers in this community) looove romance, RPing romance, or cotton-candy fluff. There’s nothing wrong with that, in fact I support it greatly. if it makes you happy, good for you!

But that’s not me. Everything I see is romantic. I, myself, am aromantic. I don’t like romance, I’m not interested in romance, and in the rare occasion I enjoy [writing] it, it’s far from something typical, enough so that it isn’t interesting to people who enjoy romance in the traditional sense. 

And... things get hairy from here.

People want romance, and my muses [Sett, Talon, Yone, etc.] are ones that are oftentimes desireable in ships ( and I understand why ) but... I, myself, don’t desire ships, and I say it plainly that I mostly am not interested.

But I pour my heart into these characters. Yuumi, too. Whenever I write, I pour my tears and love into these characters, even if I’m hurting them or causing them problems.

And then...

People leave me on read. Ignore me. Sometimes block me when they realize when I say I don’t like to ship, I mean I don’t like to ship!

So it was ruined for me. I poured so much effort into these characters, and I get two options. I either write the same romance with 50 different people over and over again, which sounds hellish to write the same thing again. and again. Especially something I don’t like. (and let me say again, romance itself isn’t the problem. Romance is eh to me, but people try so hard to shove it in my face, that I’ve grown to resent and hate it)

Or... i stop writing. There’s so few people that I get to write with that makes it fun, and then usually... they will leave. Or they find a reason to hate me. Or something. I’m autistic. I have c-ptsd. I have anxiety and depression. I have ADHD. I know, it’s... it’s hard to like me, I get excited, I talk a lot. And I don’t entirely blame anyone for not liking me. But once it happens for the 20+th time, it starts to just get depressing and it feels like you’re wasting your time.

So... I’ve gotten tired of trying. of rping. I loved to RP, I did! But it was so hard to find the few I actually love, that it’s damn near as stressful as a job.

I’ll likely delete this post, but I needed to explain myself. Guess everyone’s getting tired of me constantly saying how hard RPing is on me, but...

... maybe I’m just saying goodbye now. I want to come back, to a degree, but I know I’ll leave again. I don’t want people to keep hoping, one day, I’ll be back. Because I can’t envision it. I’ll probably just save my characters, download all the stuff I have written, and then go completely archived.

Well, sorry. But hopefully--hopefully--no one resents me too much for it.

If anyone ABSOLUTELY needs me, I’ll check back onto this account every so often.

Or...

LucaKai#9576

[lucaserrant]

YALL I JUST REALIZED ‼️‼️

luca and kaito’s outfits in the new warding are the same as in that one tohma warding :))

sorry this js just really cute to me do we think they go out like this often……..

[lucaserrant]

Tumblr do not fear im still the lucakai ceo. i just remembered these lines at 4 am in the morning and i just wanted to point out this character development!?! Luca is so attentive i really love him

[lucaserrant]

tkdb also added full voicelines for the little campus conversations im tearing up im so sane i couldnt screen record the full thing but I GOT THIS SO IDCC IM SO HAPPY AND SANE

[lucaserrant]

am i crazy if i miss luca and kaito so much i made sims of them that r dating

[lucaserrant]

HAPPY PRIDE

[lucaserrant]

I miss lucakai……………..