#make art scared and make art bad . do it wrong and do it easy

[bucksangel]

milk and sugar

pairing: alpha!steve x alpha!bucky, alpha!steve x artist!omega!reader x alpha!bucky (poly) - omegaverse!au part two

word count: 5.1k

summary: “Are you nervous?” Steve asks, voice soft and caring. His hand settles on your arm, and Bucky appears beside you to place his hand on your back, as well as take one of your hands in his metal one. And despite your earlier anxiety, you mean it wholeheartedly when you say, “no.” or - it’s your first date with your alphas.

warnings: fluff fluff and more fluff, reader has insecurities, steve and bucky are adorable and caring, steve is very nervous bc he’s a romantic, like it’s almost unbearable how much of a pure puppy he is, bucky is extremely fond and a little teasing (bc of course he is), omegaverse, kissing, there are bits where it’s just steve and bucky

a/n: this fic doesn’t contain smut, however, due to the nature of my blog this is strictly 18+

milk and honey masterlist | main masterlist | tip jar

‘Good morning, darling.’

That’s the text you received from Bucky at nine that morning - in the group chat he’d made with Steve and you. And while you normally sleep in on Sundays since your studio is closed, you’d woken up early - seven to be exact -  due to the anxiety you’ve been feeling ever since your art class ended yesterday.

Truthfully, you didn’t really sleep well anyway. Going on a date with not just one, but two Alphas at the same time has you on edge - though, not in a bad way. No, not at all. These are the good kinds of nerves, the exciting kind.

Well, okay, not all of your nerves are positive. Being naturally shy and reserved has caused you to overthink every single interaction you’ve had with the Alphas, both together and separately. And now that you’re going on this date, you can’t help the way your insecurities come creeping in faster and faster as it gets closer.

Because what if they decide they don’t like you after they actually get the chance to know you? What if they don’t even pay much attention to you and treat this as a date with just them since that must be what they’re more used to? What if you say or do something wrong and they get scared away?

Now, logically, you know those first two outcomes are absurd. Over the past few weeks, they’ve each shown extreme interest in getting to know you, they show how much care they have for you, and oh boy does that knowledge make your heart flutter. It makes you feel good, really good about yourself.

But that last point? Well, that is a big insecurity of yours. As a child, you weren’t that open and didn’t have many friends. And it was hard to make new ones when you would always stutter and trip over yourself, causing many of the kids you’d gone to school with to laugh at you. You were so shy, always the shortest kid in your class which made you an easy target for bullying, especially since you couldn’t hold a conversation well and you’d constantly accidentally bump into someone. It’s honestly a surprise that Tori had stuck around this long.

And, to be completely honest, you think you could deal with them maybe not finding you as interesting as they probably thought, maybe even them telling you that it just wouldn’t work out. Yes, it would hurt for a while, but you would deal with it. However, you absolutely could not live with the Alphas finding you annoying. Because this whole thing already feels like a fever dream, and if you were to fuck it up by doing or saying something embarrassing it would only serve as proof that you aren’t fit for Alphas like them.

It’s nine-fifteen when you respond with ‘good morning :)’

And not even a minute later, Steve texts back. ‘how are you feeling about today?’

Well, isn’t that a good question? Because you want nothing more than to go on this date, you want this to work out so badly that you feel like your heart might burst out of your chest. But, again, those fucking insecurities are messing with your mind.

It’s maybe a few minutes later when you reply with ‘Feeling okay, you guys?’

A bubble pops up at the bottom of the text thread, Bucky typing for a good thirty seconds before it disappears. And it stays like that for another full minute, your heart hammering in your chest as your anxieties are jumping to the worst possible outcome. What if they cancel? What if they-

Your phone screen comes to life when Steve calls you. He’s calling you. And for a moment you want to let it go to voicemail, you don’t want them to hear how nervous you are. But you also don’t want them to think you’re ignoring them, so you answer with a timid, “Hello?”

“Hi, honey,” Steve says calmly, his smooth voice doing a good job of soothing some of your worries.

“Hi!” You hear Bucky yell in the background, causing you to giggle.

“Hi, guys.”

You hear a thud in the background before Bucky yells “Put her on speaker, punk!” And then you can hear both of them clearly, Steve laughing as Bucky huffs in what you assume is a fake annoyance.

“So, uh, I’m just wondering. Um, where are we going today?” Mentally, you curse yourself for being so awkward, for tripping over your words while talking to the two most handsome Alphas you’ve ever met.

“That’s a surprise, honey,” Steve says, the smile on his face is evident in his tone. “Just wear something comfortable.”

“And warm!” Bucky adds, coming closer to the phone. “We don’t need you getting cold, okay?”

The hint of authority in his voice makes your heartbeat pick up speed and the care that’s so evident in just the way he speaks kind of makes you want to cry a little. When was the last time any potential partner showed even these small acts of concern for your well-being? Too long.

“Yes, sir,” You joke, having to bite your lip to keep your smile from widening even further when both Alphas laugh. Butterflies are swirling in your stomach, forming a tornado of anticipation and nerves for the day’s festivities.

“Alright,” Steve says with a hint of laughter. “We’ll let you go get ready and we’ll pick you up in two hours, okay?”

Two hours? That seems like too long yet not long enough. You’ve already showered, all you really need to do is find something to wear and then fix your hair - maybe throw on some mascara. But, still. Two hours seems like the perfect amount of time to have a full-on breakdown over this date. But at least that should also give you some time to recover from said breakdown.

“Yeah, that works!” Internally, you cringe at how eager you sound. Because even though you’re nervous beyond belief, and a tiny part of you wants to cancel the date out of fear of anything embarrassing happening, you don’t think you’d be able to live with yourself if you let these two slip through your fingers without giving it a fighting chance. 

“Great,” Bucky says, clearly smiling. “Just send us your address and we’ll be there.”

Once you bid your goodbyes to each other you make sure to send them your address before deciding to freak out over what to wear. Luckily for you, and as though the universe knows you need the help, your doorbell rings soon after. Confused as to who would be at your door this early, you make your way to the door, and when you open it you see Tori standing on the other side with a wide smile.

“Alright, girl,” She says happily, ignoring the incredulous look on your face as she pushes past you to walk into your apartment. “We have to get you ready, where are they taking you?”

“Hello to you too, Tori,” you say with a slight roll of your eyes as you close the door.

“Hey, babe!” Tori grabs your wrist and all but yanks you towards your room, not really caring about the fact that you’re nearly tripping over yourself in an effort to keep up. When you both get to your room she lets go of your arm and heads for your closet.

“So, where are you guys going?”

“I don’t know, they just said to dress warm and comfortable.” Your shoulders shrug, fingers nervously fiddling with each other. You’re not too sure what exactly to wear based on those being the only two requests. Sure, you have plenty of sweaters and jackets and scarves - it’s New York after all - but you don’t know what will impress the Alphas.

You want to impress them so badly. You don’t want them to regret asking you out, and while clothing choices aren’t a ‘make or break’ type of thing it’s still important to you that you look the best you possibly can. After all, anyone who’s seen Steve and Bucky in person would agree that they’re most definitely the two most handsome men to ever exist.

Something soft hitting you in the face knocks you out of your thoughts.

“Hey!” You yelp, looking at the ground to see the thing that hit you - your light brown sweater with a cute graphic of a pumpkin patch on the front. Seconds later, a pair of leggings hit your chest. “Tori!”

Tori simply laughs, then heads to your shoe rack next to the closet door.

“How do you know this will be good for the date?” You ask as you pick up the sweater to inspect it as though you haven’t worn it hundreds of times. But, again, today needs to go perfectly so any stains you might’ve missed would not go down well with you.

“I don’t,” She admits with a shrug of her shoulders. “But that sweater accentuates your boobs and the leggings make your ass look great.”

Your whole body goes hot, the implication of them looking at those parts of your body doesn’t make you shrink away like it normally would, though you can barely stop your insecurities about your body from throwing the items to the side and picking something else to prevent that from happening.

“I-I don’t know, Tori…” You sigh, going over to your bed and sitting down on the edge. “What if they don’t like it? I mean, they’re-”

“Stop it,” Tori says forcefully, walking over to stand in front of you. “You’re beautiful and kind and wonderful and they’re going to love you. And if they don’t, then that’s not your fault. As long as you give it your all, everything will be fine.”

Coming closer, she places her hands on your shoulders so she can shake you a little bit. “I love you, girl. You’re my best friend and I want to see you happy. And it seems like they make you happy, but you make them happy too. I’ve seen it in the way they look at you, how they talk to you. It’s going to be fine, babe. I promise.”

After a long pause where you think over her words, you decide that she’s right - at least about your feelings. You like them so fucking much, so it wouldn’t be fair to them or yourself if you didn’t try your best.

“Okay… Okay, then. Let’s get me ready.”

And with that, Tori smiles brightly, leaning down to squeeze you in a tight hug before releasing you.

____________

It’s a few minutes before eleven when Bucky and Steve park out front of your apartment building. Steve is practically vibrating out of his skin, Bucky even had to convince his mate that he should drive to pick you up since Steve could barely keep his knees from bouncing.

“Baby,” Bucky says, shutting off the engine and twisting in his seat to face Steve. “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to just be ourselves and treat her like she deserves, there’s no way she’s going to not like us.”

Steve nods, though he doesn’t look super convinced. It’s clear from how he spent fifteen minutes this morning in the flower shop picking out the perfect bouquet for you that he really, really wants this to work. And even though he doesn’t show it, Bucky knows Steve would be heartbroken if it didn’t. His mate’s always been a softie, and there’s something about you that makes him feel different - better than any other omega ever could.

Bucky knows exactly how he feels. Because, although he’s not as outwardly anxious, he just knows that you’re perfect for them, and he wants to do everything he can to make you see that they can take care of you, they can protect and love you. Your smile and sweet giggle haunt his dreams, his nightmares have long been replaced with his memories of him and Steve - and now you. He can’t help but imagine what it would be like to wake up next to you and his Alpha, to cuddle with you two in your nest as you all trade kisses and talk about anything and everything.

“You’re sure?” Steve asks with a timid voice, fiddling with the flowers in his lap. “I - we really like her.”

Bucky sighs, then reaches over the console to place his hand on the back of his mate's neck in a comforting manner. And even though it’s uncomfortable, Bucky leans over and presses a soft kiss to Steve’s lips.

“I’m sure, Stevie.”

Steve sighs too, leaning forward to kiss Bucky again before pulling back.

“Okay, Buck.”

With that, they both share a small smile and then get out of the car. It’s about a minute-long elevator ride up to your floor, Bucky holding his mate’s free hand the entire way and sending him feelings of calmness through their bond. It works until they get to your front door because now Steve is practically fumbling with the flowers as he figures out the best way to hold them while Bucky knocks.

It’s about a minute later when the door swings open, but it’s not you. It’s Tori with a wide, knowing smirk on her face.

“Hello, boys,” She says, crossing her arms over her chest. “Those for her?” She nods towards the sunflowers and daisies Steve is holding.

“They are,” Bucky says with a smile of his own. Glancing at Steve to see him nod. “Is she ready?”

“Yes!” You say, quickly running up behind Tori to gently push her to the side and give her a side glare. You’re fiddling with your clothes, tugging at the bottom of the sweater in order to smooth out the fabric.

However, in the Alphas’ eyes, there’s no need for you to do so. Through their bond both of them feel the other go kind of dumb - you always look pretty but today’s outfit just hits them differently. Your eyeliner makes the color of your eyes pop, and the shiny lipgloss makes your lips nearly impossible to not kiss.

They don’t, though. Not yet. The last thing either of them wants to do is make you uncomfortable, especially with Tori standing behind you. So, instead, Bucky smiles and elbows Steve to get him out of his trance.

“Hello, honey,” Bucky says, his smile turning into a smirk when you fail to suppress a squeak.

“H-hi, guys,” You say nervously with a small smile. “Are those for me?” You ask when you notice the flowers in Steve’s hand.

“Oh, um, yes,” Steve stutters ever so slightly, reaching out to hand you the bouquet. “You once said you love Sunflowers.”

____________

“You once said you love Sunflowers.”

Something about this gesture makes you want to tear up. Flowers may not be a big deal to some people, but they mean everything to you. Receiving gifts from partners has been rare for you, so the beauty of the petals and knowing that they’re for you just makes you preen a little bit.

“I do,” You say softly, almost like you can’t believe he remembered. “They’re beautiful, thank you. Really.”

“Just like you,” Steve blurts out before a redness covers his cheeks.

And you absolutely cannot be blamed for the embarrassing squeak you let out. You try being called beautiful by Steve fucking Rogers and not want to bury your face in his neck to inhale his scent.

“Th-thank you,” You say with a giggle, handing the flowers to Tori and giving her a grateful smile as she gives you a quick kiss on your cheek.

“You guys have fun,” She teases, waving you off with a smile. “Treat her well or you’ll have hell to pay.”

“Of course,” Bucky says with an assuring nod. “Wouldn’t treat her with anything but care.” He says this while looking at you though, the twinkle in his eyes making you want to bare your neck to him.

When the door closes behind you, you step closer to the Alphas.

“Are you nervous?” Steve asks, voice soft and caring, though clearly a little anxious. His hand settles on your arm, and Bucky appears beside you to place his hand on your back, as well as take one of your hands in his metal one.

And despite your earlier anxiety, you mean it wholeheartedly when you say, “No.” How can you be nervous now when the feeling of the men’s warm hands on you and their clear concern for your wellbeing makes your heartbeat quicken in anticipation?

“Let’s go?” You ask, face growing warm in slight embarrassment for your enthusiasm.

“Let’s go,” Both Alphas say in unison. And then all of you are off to the truck - a very nicely kept, sleek black truck. Steve opens the back door for you before, to your surprise, sliding in next to you.

“We agreed he could sit in the back with you on the way there as long as I could sit next to you on our way back,” Bucky pipes up at your questioning glance.

Feelings of warmth fill your entire being, and you already know that today is going to be the most fun you’ve had in a while.

____________

It’s about a thirty-five-minute drive before you finally arrive at a park - a beautiful stretch of the greenest grass you’ve ever seen with orange and red-leafed trees surrounding two sides of it. It’s big, but if you look close enough you can make out a trail off to the left. That half hour was, surprisingly to you, filled with pleasant conversation. Now, your previous interactions with the men proved that they were wonderful company, but you’re surprised that you’re not as nervous as you thought you’d be. Everything was moving smoothly, there wasn’t even a single moment of awkward silence.

“We’re here,” Bucky says, pulling into a free parking spot closest to the entrance of the trail. Steve opens the door as Bucky gets out as well and goes around to the back of the truck. And Steve, ever the gentleman, holds your hand as he helps you climb out of the backseat, only letting go when you begin smoothing out your clothes.

“Are we ready?” Bucky appears next to you holding a large blanket and a stereotypical wicker basket.

A small smile forms on your face, and your heartbeat increases ever so slightly. How are they so fucking sweet?

“Yes!” Immediately, your face goes hot, self-conscious of your enthusiasm. But the Alphas don’t seem to mind, in fact, Steve takes the blanket from under Bucky’s arm and tucks it under his own, then grabs your hand and intertwines your fingers together.

“Let’s go then,” Steve says, smiling softly down at you.

With that, the three of you head off to the trail, walking under colorful oak trees that flank both sides of the dirt path. A comfortable silence falls over all of you, only the sounds of birds chirping filling the air. You walk for a few minutes, the leaves crunching under your feet as you take in the beauty surrounding you, your eyes wide with wonder.

The environment is comforting, calm, puts you at ease in a way you don’t normally experience. It’s freeing to feel so content - so happy. It takes about five minutes before you come upon a set of wooden stairs leading down to the most beautiful lake you’ve ever seen. The water is nearly clear, the colorful trees reflecting over the surface, and even though it’s a clear day out, you can’t help but notice the golden hue filling the air. You don’t even notice you’ve stopped walking until Steve tugs on your hand.

“Do you like it?” He asks, almost nervous as he waits for your reaction.

“I…” You trail off, tears filling your eyes. This whole thing is just - just perfect. “I love it,” you say as you look at Steve, a wide smile spreading across your face. And you look at Bucky when you say, “It’s perfect.”

____________

“It’s perfect.”

Bucky can’t help but let out a small sigh of relief. They’d both wracked their brains trying to figure out where to take you, what to do. They want to wow you, to show you that they can - and hopefully will get the chance to provide for you, they can make you happy. You’ll never go without, if you want something, they will figure out a way to get it.

“Good,” Steve says softly, smiling down at you before looking up at Bucky and nodding his head.

With that, the three of you make your way down the stairs, Steve holding on to your hand tightly to make sure you don’t fall, and Bucky places his free hand on your back. He can hear how your heartbeat speeds up when he does so and tries so hard not to puff out his chest when you glance up at him through your eyelashes coyly.

Once you’re down by the lake, the men lead you to a large oak tree merely ten or so feet from the edge. Steve is quick to unfold the blanket and spread it out under the tree - large enough to probably cover an entire California King bed. Bucky then places the basket down as his mate takes your hand and helps you sit near the edge of the blanket leaving enough space for the men to sit on either side of you.

The Alphas quickly open the basket and pull out containers of food, opening the lids and placing them in front of you. When they finally sit down - obviously with you in the middle - Bucky notices how wide your eyes are, how you seem transfixed on the array of fruits and sandwiches and cake. It’s when Bucky pulls out the jug of homemade lemonade that you choke back a cry.

“Honey?” Steve asks, turning his body to face you with a concerned look in his eyes.

“Are you alright? What’s wrong?” Bucky places a hand on your back, sweeping it around to hold your waist. And can you really blame him if his whole body goes hot when you lean into his side and turn your face so it’s halfway buried in his neck?

It takes a few seconds but you’re finally able to gather yourself and pull away.

“You guys are just… I can’t believe it.”

“What can’t you believe, sweetheart?” Steve scoots closer to you, placing his hand on your head to smooth out your hair, and unconsciously turns your head so he can look directly at you. “Tell us what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”

____________

You want to scream. You want to yell until your voice gives out. It’s nothing, in the grand scheme of things. Them preparing food - by hand - and bringing you to this beautiful spot might just be a normal thing for most people, but considering you’ve hardly ever been shown this much affection and thoughtfulness. Shaking your head, you look away, unable to withstand the Alpha's intense gaze.

“It’s nothing,” You mumble, fiddling with your fingers. “It’s stupid.”

“No, it’s not, honey,” Bucky says, giving your waist an affectionate squeeze. “If you’re upset, we want you to tell us.”

“I’m not! I promise!” You assure them, hesitantly reaching both of your hands out to place them on the Alpha’s legs. “I guess I just… I’ve just never been shown this much… care?” It’s phrased as a question, because you’re unsure if that was the right word to use, but it’s all you can think of at the moment.

“I know it may not seem like a lot,” You continue, taking a deep breath before looking up at Steve, and then Bucky. “But this means the world to me. You guys are just so sweet and thoughtful and I’m not really sure what to do, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, let alone two people.”

Both of the men sigh, and you can almost taste the scent of disappointment wafting off of them. Suddenly your nerves spike, did you say something wrong?

You must have said that out loud because Bucky starts shaking his head. “No, no darling. You didn’t say anything wrong, I promise.”

“We’re just… I guess we’re disappointed that you consider this the height of romance because this is the bare minimum. You should be used to this, you should be loved and worshipped because that’s what you deserve, nothing less. And it’s not your fault, it’s every other person’s fault for not treating you like the perfect Omega you are.” Steve sounds upset, and your heartbeat increases to a degree that you’d think you were having a panic attack if it weren’t for how damn happy you are.

For a moment, you’re unsure as to what to say, it’s just baffling to you that one person, let alone two, can make you feel this way, this joyous and carefree. But luckily Bucky speaks up so you don’t have to.

“And we’d love to have the chance to do that for you,” He says softly, picking up your hand to cradle it in his own so he can place a delicate kiss on your knuckles. And when you stare up into his eyes, you can’t help but gasp at how loving his gaze is. “Will you give us that chance?”

“Yes.” And this time, you’re not embarrassed by how quickly your answer was to come. How can you be when both men sigh in relief and lean into your body so they can wrap you in their arms? It’s warm and comforting, filling you with happiness and care for these men.

When they lean back you really can’t be blamed for the way your gaze finds Steve’s, then drops down to his lips momentarily. At this, you’re a little flustered, suddenly overcome with the want to feel how soft they are.

Steve seems to read your mind because he places his hand on the back of your neck and forces you to hold his gaze.

“Can I kiss you, honey?”

“Please,” You whine, staying in place as the Alpha leans down slowly. Your eyes close when he gets close enough that you can feel his breaths against your mouth. And for a moment, neither of you moves, and your nerves climb higher and higher as the seconds tick by.

You’re about to speak when he finally, finally kisses you. At first, it’s just a simple peck, a chaste kiss on your lips, and then he pulls back by merely a millimeter. It’s you who leans forward to press your lips together again, and you let him lead as you lose yourself in the kiss. Though, it’s over far too soon for your liking by a soft groan.

Pulling away, both you and Steve turn to look at Bucky, who is now sporting a sheepish grin.

“Sorry,” He mumbles with a flushed face. “I just… I love seeing you two together. I love us all being together and having the two people I care about more than anything sharing your feelings. I know it’s-”

“Sweet,” You interrupt him, turning your body so you can face him better and slip your hand out of his. Placing it on his cheek, you smile when he nuzzles into your palm and gives it a little kiss. “I think it’s sweet, Bucky.”

“Can I kiss you too?” He whispers hopefully, smiling when you nod. Unlike his mate, Bucky doesn’t waste any time capturing your lips in a soft but passionate kiss. It’s clear he’s trying to hold back, and something in you just can’t help but feel wanted, desired. This kiss lasts a little longer, and although you can feel Steve’s gaze on you, you’re not in the least bit self-conscious. You know they wouldn’t lie to you, so you find comfort in knowing that you can show affection to both men without either getting upset or jealous.

When you do finally pull away, you can’t help but lean into Bucky’s chest, reaching behind you to grab Steve’s hand.

“I really like you guys,” You mumble into the Alpha’s chest.

“We really like you too,” They say in unison, causing you to smile.

With that, everything seems to fall into place, the men divvy up the food - giving you most of it - and you all eat in comfortable silence, occasionally stealing glances at each other. Once the food is eaten, Bucky wraps his arm around your waist, causing you to look up at him.

“Come here,” He says with a smile, guiding you to sit sideways on his lap, facing Steve. And there is absolutely no way in hell you could contain the squeak forcing its way out of your mouth. “Is this okay?” He asks as Steve scoots closer to sit right next to Bucky, picking up your legs and resing them in his lap.

You’ve never nodded faster in your life. You’re nervous, sure, but the utter happiness you’re feeling far outweighs it. That happiness only grows when Bucky nods to his mate, and you watch as the other man picks up the container with the cake. Your eyes widen when Steve picks up a fork and takes a small bit out of one of the slices, carefully leading it up to your mouth where you automatically open it.

Slowly, he slides the fork out, allowing you to chew the cake with a pleased smile on his face. It goes on like this until the slice is completely gone, with Bucky pressing kisses to your temple occasionally and bathing you in his warmth. It makes you preen having these Alphas take care of you like this, providing for you.

You’re content to stay here forever, wrapped up in their light, and by the time you’re done eating completely, you feel your eyelids grow heavy, a yawn forcing your mouth wide open.

“I’m sorry,” You say remorsefully, a little embarrassed by how tired you’ve become now that your stomach is full and you’re comfortably resting against Bucky’s chest.

“Don’t be, honey,” Steve says, leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “You can nap if you want, we’ll be right here when you wake up.”

A smile spreads across your face, and you instinctively bury your head into Bucky’s chest and reach out so you can hold onto Steve’s hands. “Are you sure?” You ask, peeking an eye open so you can look up at the blonde Alpha.

He smiles as he nods, pressing another kiss on the top of your head. “Go to sleep, pretty girl.”

It doesn’t take long for you to float off into dreamland, and the last thing you hear is, “I told you she’s perfect for us.”

tagging: @the-ginger-fairy-artist / @supernovatardis / @perdidosbucky-yyo / @wckedheart / @kandis-mom / @meteorshowercoffee / @wandaneedstherapy / @buckysbarne / @bigcreatorwombatdreamer / @p1ut0smoon / @venusfly11 / @buckybarnesmetalarmswife775 / @the-photo-hoe / @clownsbf / @matsumama / @fandoms-writings / @thornsnvultures / @sadboiabby / @lily-excal / @alright-i-guesss / @blondie-bluue / @loveforreading / @marvel-wifey-86 / @wheezy-stucky / @exposition-belongs-somewhere / @sweater-bee / @stuckysbike / @lovelylittleleigh / @buckyshbic / @starkblackwolf / @caitlink26 / @dreaming-potato / @emeraldfairy23 / @lethargicluv / @kinsssss / @perfectlyboring / @glistenuplove / @monicachic13 / @bbellen1411 / @akmenia / @shawnftjacob / @ladyravenclaw / @sadsadbabygirlrob / @hc-kerr / @iamfandomwasted / @sweetmoonlove0214 / @yesprettypleasesir / @duckies16 / @wizardofstories / @emerald-writes / @xonickibaby / @matchat3a / @hereticdance / @animegirlgeeky / @rippedpiece

[cupiidzbow]

I absolutely love your art don't get me wrong but do you ever worry about coming off as perpetuating racism by giving the Kongs "black" traits like textured hair and alike? I was designing a Candy Kong gijinka a few days ago and I drew her black but stepped back on that given the racist association of poc and especially black people with monkies. I didn't subconsciously just think monkey equals black person, I just thought up whatever her race was as more of an afterthought but I see how that may be a deliama for anyone wanting to draw the Kongs

I am white so I wanted to hear your take on this since idk if I'm overthinking it haha 😥

i totally see where you’re coming from anon! I think it’s a lot different for me personally cause like (gestures) yknow. i am black 😭 i was super terrified of drawing my own sona bc i was super scared of people taking it the wrong way but like. well one it’s literally me . and like it’s also such a matter of like damn…… it’s so unfair that black people literally cannot enjoy cute little monkey characters or have a sona that’s a monkey bc it’s been spun to be racist against us for so long 😭 like im far from the only who’s expressed this sentiment

like i have people calling me slurs in my inbox a lot bc of my sona / most of my sonas for series are monkey characters, i guess i make it easy for people yknow . low hanging fruit. but i genuinely just love primates and it feels so unfair how it feels like i can’t enjoy an animal with racial connotations FORCED on me. 😭 like nonblack people can have a primate fursonas but it’s only a problem went black people want to. like I wish the shadow didn’t loom over my head the way it does, even thought this is something i love 😭

like it’s a totally different ballgame when it comes to nonblack people because it doesn’t have the same implications of a black artist purposefully making a monkeysona, but the whole thing with the dk series there’s many many characters with arguable black coding in game. ( I honestly think this is a rocky bc a lot og these people who made these games are not black) but i’ve seen a lot of black people who are a fan of the DK series embrace the coding a lot yknow at least I do ? 😭

( like Funky’s Jamaican coding in game and in the show isn’t lost on me, the new kong girl in the new game being brown skinned, kaylpso. many many people love tinys redesign and both dk’s voice actors in the show were black 😭) when it comes to humanizations as a nonblack person I think it totally matters if what your intention, are you purposefully playing into stereotypes/colorism etc. but that’s something you should always be nuanced about! like I don’t think all of the kongs are black but i like to think some of them are, I don’t think it’s a bad thing if people think that way too!

it’s not that im trying to perpetuate stereotypes by seeing myself in these characters but i have to deal with people thinking the worst of it . 😭 which sucks admittedly.

LONG WINDED RANT OVER TLDR . I don’t think there’s anything wrong with making them black/ or brown skinned it’s just like. be careful . use your brain a bit before you do so 😭

[compress1repress]

Summary: Art walks in on Tashi watching gay porn, he feels very normal about it. When he confronts her they end up fucking, also in a very normal way. Most importantly, Patrick Zweig does not haunt the Artashi marital bed. Not at all.

Art x Tashi (but patrick is so overwhelmingly present it's basically throuple fic. he's not there, but he is there. sometimes a threesome is two people having really angry haunted sex, okay.)

cw: mdni, 18+, porn, masturbation, fingering, oral sex, vaginal penetration, rough sex, anal sex, violent sex, etc (some of this is in the porn videos, some actually happens, and some is imagined... it's complicated)

[ao3 version] 7.2k words

Through the small opening Art can tell the lights are dimmed in their bedroom, so he opens the door as quietly as he can. He’s not sure if Tashi is sleeping or answering emails before bed but he doesn’t want to disturb her either way. When he enters he can see her form, laying on her side under the covers, her back to him. Asleep then - or no, there’s a light in front of her, she’s on her phone. Weird. Tashi isn’t usually in that position when she’s using her phone, she should be sat upright, maybe her legs curled underneath her, biting her lip in concentration. Actually, thinking about it, she doesn’t sleep like that either, not when she’s alone, only ever on her side when they’re spooning. She sleeps on her back, he sleeps on his front, and… there is no and, he doesn’t know why he thought that.

He takes in the sight in front of him properly, curious. He can tell she’s got earphones in, which is another odd sight, and also explains why she hasn’t noticed him. For a moment he gets scared; what if she’s watching his matches on her phone? His matches, not Art’s. She’d done it once years ago, but she had shown him, said it would be good to study. It had sort of made sense, to analyse the type of player that can beat Art. He tried to be neutral, normal, and probably failed because she never did it again. Now he wonders if she just carried on secretly, hiding it from him. 

That’s even worse, knowing that she thinks he can’t handle it. He could now, he thinks. He was only weird because back then it was closer to a time when he was a better player than Art, so the insecurity hung around. It’s gone now. It’s all gone.

Except she’s not watching a match, or anything to do with tennis. There’s skin, a lot of skin moving fast under bright artificial light. Oh. He notices the way the sheets move slightly, the hand not holding the phone underneath them, and her shoulder twitching with short movements. He feels relieved, which he recognises is an odd emotion to feel when you walk in on your wife secretly watching porn. 

They’ve never spoken about it before, but it’s certainly not something that would be a problem. He hasn’t really watched any since dating Tashi, but that was more because he’d never really done it. He was bad at it, magazines never worked that well, and then the internet had him spoilt for choice. He could look up anything and had no idea where to start, what if he made the wrong choice? It was overwhelming, so in his limited experience he would just click the first video he saw, whether he was particularly into it or not. It just felt easier to have it selected for him. 

Most of the time he preferred jerking off without anything, and ever since he met Tashi, she became the images he filled his mind with. It made it so easy, he wanted her so much all the time. It was simple, to just decide to set his sights on her, he didn’t have to think or make any choices. If his hand was around his dick, it was Tashi he was thinking about.

He didn’t even jerk off that much anymore, didn’t feel the need to. It felt like a waste, like he should save everything he had for Tashi. It felt good a lot of the time, being horny and not doing anything about it; wanting something, and not taking it. He was good at it too, holding out when other people would cave. He knew it was better, being patient, having the restraint to wait until the best possible moment. It was all for her. 

He knew that she touched herself sometimes, he didn’t know exactly how much but she wasn’t trying to hide it. Sometimes she’d tell him, in bed together saying, “you know, the other night I got myself off in under three minutes, think you could beat that?” He hasn’t beat it yet, but he’s determined he will one day. 

She’s often nonchalant about it; one time he’d woken up to her doing it in the middle of the night, she’d just shushed him, telling him she couldn’t sleep. Her face so unaffected as she got herself off, the only noticeable change was her slight uptake in breath. It was so simple, like taking a sleeping pill. Sometimes clinical, she’d use it as a painkiller when she had cramps. 

She never mentioned porn but it doesn’t make that much of a difference, maybe she just needed some extra stimulation. He considers making himself heard, or walking over there, maybe asking if he can help out. Then he thinks for a moment, curiosity taking over, he wants to know exactly what she’s watching. Maybe if he can sneakily get a look without her realising, he can surprise her another day by acting out a fantasy she hadn’t even told him about. He thinks he understands what she likes in bed pretty well, but what is she in the mood for this week? 

Maybe she’ll want to sit on his face, be rough with him, hold him down. Or maybe she’s having a rare moment where she wants him to take charge. If he finds out, she’ll be proud that he could give her what she wanted without her asking. He briefly wonders if this is manipulative, but he’s doing it for her, to make her feel good. That makes it okay.

He steps forward quietly, bare feet pressing lightly on the soft carpeting. He gets a better angle and he’s closer now, able to make out her screen. It’s not anything like he imagined, it can’t be because it’s two men. He blinks to make sure he’s seeing right. Definitely two men, one’s got his fingers deep inside the other. His mouth goes dry and he freezes. Don’t panic. Don’t panic.

Something creeps up the back of his skull, trying to worm its way into his brain. Images flashing, and his lips tingling.

No. Fuck off.

This is fine. He’s fine. 

It makes sense, really. Tashi is attracted to men so of course she’d want to watch that. It’s actually very normal, it’s good. And Tashi’s a feminist so she probably doesn’t want to watch women being objectified. So her being into this type of porn… gay porn… it makes the most sense.

He looks again. Jesus. One of the guys is blond, with a slender hairless frame. He’s also currently being pressed into the mattress, his arm held behind his back as the other guy lines up his (ridiculously large) dick. The other guy has more body hair, he’s a brunet, it’s curly maybe - not that it matters. Art doesn’t really look. Whatever. The blond guy, if Art squints, definitely looks like himself. His chest tightens. It’s fine, this is also a good thing. It’s sweet that Tashi enjoys watching someone that looks like him. It’s loyal.

This is the most normal thing he could’ve walked in on. Tashi is a feminist, she’s straight, they’re both straight and married to each other so what else is she supposed to watch if not gay porn featuring a guy that looks like her husband? 

Fuck. The other guy is really drilling into him. Into the blond on the video. It’s borderline violent. Tashi’s arm speeds up, she’s really enjoying herself. There’s a close up shot of the blond’s face, his eyebrows scrunched together and his mouth hanging open. Art can’t hear anything but can imagine the type of noises he’s making. He’s pulling faces like it all just hurts so good. Tashi moves under the sheets, like her hips are now thrusting forward into her hand. Art can tell she’s close. He should go. He needs to go. He walks out as quietly as possible, not that she’ll be able to hear now that she’s so close to finishing. 

Once safely in the hallway he presses his back against the wall, just breathing. It all flashes in his mind, this image of the blond actor's face. The way it was drenched in tears, an expression so overwhelmed, right on the edge of pain and pleasure. It was like the harder the guy cried, the more Tashi got off.

He can’t help but feel like he’s done something wrong. He wracks his brain for any mistakes he might’ve made recently, but comes up with nothing. Clearly she’s mad at him. He knows that she likes being rough with him, he likes it too. But surely if that was all, she wouldn’t bother masturbating or watching a video, she’d just come find him. Or if she really wanted to do it alone then she’d find a video of someone who looked like her, doing it to someone that looked like him.

This must be something else. Her punishing him. Or wanting to. Just enjoying him being in pain. Because Tashi must know, even if she was horny, she knows him well enough to know that Art wouldn’t… 

He doesn’t know how to describe it. 

A few days ago he had to end practice early, he’d slept rough and his neck was acting up. He’d done the physio, and it was sorted the next day. The next training session was longer to make up for it. He thought he’d done enough, she hadn’t told him she was disappointed. She didn’t look annoyed. But that must be it. She’s frustrated with him, and she doesn’t want to tell him in case it distracts him, so she’s finding another outlet for that frustration. 

He would prefer if she just told him. How many other times has she done this behind his back? 

He waits in the hallway until the light goes out fully, then waits a few minutes more before he slips into bed with her silently. He doesn’t look down but he knows he’s hard. He won’t do anything about it. 

Tashi is asleep on her back, and Art falls asleep like that too.

-

The next few days he watches her extra carefully, keeping an eye out for any signs that she’s angry with him. He can’t find anything. It’s eating away at him, the video playing behind his eyes.

In bed that night whilst Tashi’s on top of him, both of them kissing lazily, it slips out, “are you mad at me?”

She furrows her brow, moving to lay next to him instead, “why are you asking me that?”

“I just feel like maybe I’ve done something to make you angry,” he shrugs, fingers fiddling with the fabric of her nightie.

“Are you saying I've been mean to you? Because I think I've been pretty nice,” she’s watching him intently, and he feels bad. She has been nice.

“I don’t know, it was stupid, just forget it,” he moves closer against her but she presses a hand to his chest to stop him.

“No, you can’t drop it now, don’t be a pussy,” she’s not going to let this go but her face shifts more towards nervousness, “what have I done to make you think I was mad?”

“The other night I walked in on you watching a video,” she looks at him blankly so he clarifies, “a porn video.”

He mentally slaps himself for saying ‘a porn video’ as if he’s never heard of porn.

“So you took me wanting to have some alone time, as me being annoyed at you?” Tashi glares at him now, “I don't have to spend every second with you.” 

“It wasn’t that, it was just the guy in the video, one of the guys in the video,” this seems to make Tashi remember exactly what she had been watching, “he looked like me.”

“And?” Tashi prompts.

“You seemed to really enjoy how rough it was, the way the blond guy was crying over the other guy fucking him,” he’s going into more detail than necessary, “and he looked like me so I just wondered if maybe you were mad at me.”

“So you’re saying I was watching a video of a guy that looked like you getting fucked, as an outlet for my frustration towards you?” She looks more curious than angry.

“Am I right?” he asks tentatively.

She doesn’t answer, just asks him another question, “why didn’t you say anything at the time?”

“I don't know, I froze, I couldn’t look away,” he feels ashamed, “it was only two minutes though, I swear.” 

“You should’ve said something,” Art is ready to apologise but Tashi is pressing up against him, “if you did, I could’ve told you that video isn’t my normal style.”

“It’s not?” he watches her shake her head, “what do you normally watch?”

“Want me to show you?” The corner of her mouth twitches up, and he feels something stir in his stomach.

"Yeah," he nods, watching her reach for her phone on the bedside table.

She taps at the screen, types in a few things, scrolls, then presents it to him. 

He can’t take it all in at once, it’s a collection of videos, with titles and different thumbnails. None of it looks all that different than what he walked in on. He assumed she meant she didn’t normally watch gay porn, but these videos still seem to be mostly men fucking eachother. Although he doesn’t look too closely, of course.

“I don’t get it,” he treads carefully, watching her face, “how is any of this different from the video I saw?”

“They don’t usually look like you,” Tashi’s emphasis is purposeful but Art doesn’t dwell.

He looks once more, the thumbnails centering again and again on guys with curly brown hair.

“I guess they don’t,” he can’t think what else to say, what she wants him to say, what point she’s making.

Then she makes it all very clear, “do they remind you of anyone?”

He can’t ignore her emphasis now, can’t ignore exactly who springs to mind. He tries to anyway.

“Tashi, why are you doing this?” he tries not to sound whiny, “I don’t understand, is this my punishment?”

“Just watch,” she urges, clicking on one, he can hear sounds but doesn’t watch, she pushes again, “Art.”

He does, and he has to grit his teeth to keep himself from looking away. The brunet actor is on his knees and, there’s no delicate way to put this, he’s got a dick in his mouth. Jesus Christ. The volume is low but the wet sloppy sounds of it pushing in the guy's mouth - the gagging, the groaning - all feel so oppressive against Art’s ears. The sight of it too, the way his mouth stretches around it and his eyes go glassy. 

He gets a sudden horrible feeling that maybe this is exactly like when she made him watch that match years ago. That she wants him to study this, to show him where he doesn’t measure up. That this is another area where he’s never been able to beat -

“What do you want me to do?” he’s putting all his effort into not getting weird about this, can’t bear the thought of her keeping whatever this is a secret again, thinking he’s too fragile to handle it.

If it’s about learning then he can do that. He knows that good things take dedication and patience. That’s why he’s a winner. 

“You don’t get it,” she sighs.

“Tell me, I want to,” he basically begs.

“You’re the one that said it, that this is about finding an outlet for my anger,” she’s speaking like it’s obvious, “you asked if I was mad at you.”

“I did,” he says slowly, the whirring in his brain feels like he’s almost there, it’s starting to make sense.

“Well, look again and tell me, what’s making me angry?” she tilts the phone, as if he couldn’t already see too clearly. The speed has picked up, it’s rougher than ever, a hand clenched in brown curls gripping the actor in place as his mouth is rammed into over and over. 

Art feels his skin prick up. Fuck. He thinks he’s getting it but he can’t say, not without being certain. 

Tashi watches him out of the corner of her eyes, as if she is the nervous one, “I think you know, Art, so c’mon - who am I really mad at?”

“Oh,” slips out of him, not even out of surprise because he was already most of the way to the answer. It’s just this noise, drenched in something else, dragged out of him because he doesn’t know what else to do. 

She smiles seeing the way it clicks into place for him, “Art, what are you thinking?”

“That it makes sense,” is this the safest reply he can think of, it’s also true. 

Tashi was right, if this was a way to vent frustrations then who else would these actors resemble? If you asked who Tashi is the most angry at, there’s only one person that fits. 

“I’ll rephrase that - what are you feeling?” she asks, and it’s definitely a better question, but a harder one too.

“It makes me feel good I think,” once he says that, he realises how true it is, “I like that you’re still this angry at him.”

“Yeah?” Tashi grins at him, her eyes shining. He hasn’t just pleased her, he’s thrilled her.

He’s hit the winner. It’s that rare sweet spot where the answer he gives her does three things at once; it exceeds her expectations, it’s his honest truth, and it’s also exactly what she wanted to hear.

“Does it help? Watching the videos?” he asks.

“It does,” she’s still smiling at him, “want to see more?”

He nods, and she exits the current video, selecting another. A different but similar looking brunet actor is on screen, this time without a scene partner. It feels more explicit, he’s laid out on his back on a leather bench and his arms are tied up above his head, his legs strapped and spread apart. Art feels himself blush when he realises what’s going on. 

“Too much?” Tashi teases, whilst also genuinely asking him.

“No,” he answers quickly. He’s an adult. He’s seen porn. He’s seen this equipment in videos before. It just feels more intense in the moment, more scandalous with Tashi next to him. Maybe there’s a more specific name for it, but for the purposes of being expressive, it’s a fuck-machine. That pretty much encapsulates it. A plastic dick on a metal pole mechanically pumps in and out of the actor at a steady but increasing pace.

“Good, because I like the way he cries in this one,” Tashi presses up somehow closer to him, her skin feels warm.

He gets what she means, the tears are already forming in the actor’s eyes. His chest flushed red. The machine thrusts at an almost impossibly fast and unrelenting pace. Shit. Even the actor is looking down at himself in almost disbelief at how hard he’s getting fucked. The volume is still low but Art’s ears are tuned in on the noises, the gasps, the moans, and the repeated breathless muttering of oh my God.

Art feels warm too, wanting to press against Tashi even more. His eyes drift from the video to her face, she watches it intently, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth and her eyes going dark. He’ll give her what she wants before she even has to ask.

“Are you angry right now?” her eyes flit over to him before she answers his question with a nod, so he asks another, “if I wasn’t here would you be touching yourself to this?”

“I would,” her voice is slower, the way it gets when she’s horny. 

“I want to help you, want to see how angry you are,” he’s fully hard now thinking about it, doesn’t know exactly when he’d started to get so turned on, “can I touch you while you watch it?”

“Do it,” she orders, that same thrill still in her eyes from before. He feels alive with it, an electric feeling that drowns out anything else. The thoughts nagging at his brain, the pit deep in his stomach, the dryness at his throat, the heaviness in his chest, the strange restless itch in his legs. None of that even registers anymore because he’s got Tashi all lit up beside him. It’s been a while since either of them have been this turned on.

They maneuver so they’re both on their sides. Tashi holds the phone, video still playing as Art presses up behind her, chin resting on her shoulder. He reaches his hand around her, pushing her nightie up and slipping his hand down the front of her underwear. Fuck, she’s so wet already. The sensation makes his hips push forward, pressing his boner against her ass. She pushes back against him, probably thinking about how hard he is already. 

He starts out slow, running a finger through her folds, then gently circling her clit. She breathes heavier, from his touch and also the video. There’s that crying she had mentioned, finally in full force. Tears down his face as he writhes against the restraints, the pumping of the machine too much for him. He can see why she likes the video. Not that he would go out of his way to watch it by himself or anything. Although out of all of them this would be the most likely. This isn’t even gay porn, how can it be? There’s only one guy. It’s basically masturbation. Or maybe machine porn, robot porn. He doesn’t really know the categories. But it’s not gay porn.

Art never really thought of himself as someone with any kinks or fetishes - he left that sort of thing to other people. He knows what he likes with Tashi, and that most of all he likes pleasing her. He’s always enjoyed eating girls out, which is probably the closest thing he has to a specific personal fetish. It’s always been something he felt like he could do well, that he was better at. He didn’t know for certain but it was the type of thing that required patience and dedication. There wasn’t always instant gratification. Sometimes he’d eat Tashi out without even getting off himself, getting her to finish a couple times before just going to bed after, no matter how hard he was. Only he would do that. Another place he would win.

He doesn’t have kinks, not really, but this video is doing something to him. Does he want to put Tashi in that situation? Definitely not. Does he want to be like that? It’s closer but still isn’t right. Not in this moment anyway. Probably it’s the fact that Tashi is so clearly into it, rubbing herself against his hand. He watches the actor’s face again, head now thrown back, sobbing silently at the overwhelming pleasure. 

Or maybe Art is angry too. 

“You really do like the way he cries, huh?” he kisses Tashi’s neck, speaking in her ear, “what else do you like about this one?” 

“I like that he’s tied up, held down so he has to do what he’s supposed to,” she responds thoughtfully.

He thrusts against her ass, so turned on he can’t stop himself rambling.

“He was always just doing what he wanted, without a fucking care in the world,” they both know which he Art is talking about, “thought he could get away with anything, like consequences were for everyone else except him.”

He feels angry, like he does most of the time. He shoves it down but it never really left. Now every drop of it is being brought to the surface, and for once he actually lets it. He wants to feel it, Tashi wants him to feel it with her. 

“Yeah, fuck, it used to piss me off so much, gallavanting about, following each and every urge at his leisure,” she gasps as Art slips in two fingers at once, “wanted to finally see him at the mercy of someone else.”

Art is at Tashi’s mercy. That’s another thing he wins at.

“You ever make him cry? He deserved it,” this is the most direct mention Art has made in years. He almost takes it back but it’s fine, it doesn’t feel bad. This is about being angry, allowing themselves to be angry together.

“Almost, I always wanted to, I think I could’ve done it,” if I had more time goes unsaid, “but he never did what he was told, not all the time.”

Art has three fingers inside now, his thumb just about able to graze her clit even at this angle. She’s making these low hums in her throat.

“He would if you had him like that,” the guy on the video is pleading now, he’s already finished once and the machine is trying to draw another out of him, “he’d be forced to listen to you.”

“He’d finally be good like you are,” Tashi’s words make him groan suddenly, grinding hard against her.

He needs more, “Tashi, please, can I fuck you like this?”

“Yeah,” she nods, making quick work of taking her panties off while still holding the phone with her other hand.

He pulls off his pyjama pants and underwear too, frantic and desperate to get inside her. She’s on her side, and he’s still pressed against her back as he lines himself up. He whines as he pushes into her wet heat, “fuck.”

He doesn’t thrust too hard or fast, just rocking in and out slowly, which is more than enough. He can’t go too rough or they wouldn’t be able to keep watching.

“Does it feel good?” he asks like he always does.

“Yeah, keep going like that, I don’t want you to come yet,” she warns him, “want you to see another video.”

“Show me,” he whispers into her neck, he feels so close to her, his body molded against hers, pressed deep inside, and sharing her private world with him, “I like knowing this, seeing how angry you are.”

The next video is the most similar to that one he’d walked in on. Two guys fucking, but this time in doggy style, and the one on all fours has brown hair. The guy fucking into him though is blond. His dick twitches. That pit in his stomach calls out to him.

Maybe Tashi can read his mind, or she felt his dick twitch, because she’s asking him, “do you feel angry too?”

Thank God. That’s it.

“Yeah, really fucking angry,” his voice is rough.

“You’ll like this one then,” he can hear the grin in her words.

The blond’s hands dig into the brunet’s waist, pressing deep into the flesh. He uses the grip to thrust in violently, making the guy underneath gasp out while the blond remains stoic. It’s like he doesn’t even care who he’s fucking, just getting his aggression out.

Art moans again, pumping deeper inside Tashi as they both watch the video. It’s not about sex. Well, it’s about sex between him and Tashi. Anything outside of that is just anger. 

The brunet has his eyes squeezed shut, the only thing keeping him quiet seems to be the way he’s biting his lips to keep his mouth shut. Art can see his teeth drawing blood.

“Does it help your anger?” Tashi is asking more questions than usual.

“Yeah,” he admits, because this is the angriest he’s felt at him where it also felt good. 

“Watch this next bit, it’s the best part,” she reaches a free hand to the back of his head, directing him to look at the screen. He was already looking, hasn’t been able to look away.

The brunet does something to piss off the other guy, Art isn’t sure what but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that the blond is grabbing him up by his hair so he’s on his knees instead of all fours. He keeps thrusting into him powerfully while he does this, Art throbs inside Tashi. Then, oh God, the blond wraps his arm around the brunet’s throat, putting him in a chokehold while continuing to fuck him harder than ever. The brunet arches his back, and helplessly grabs at the blond, whatever sounds he’s making are cut off by that strong arm.

Art feels dizzy. In a good way. Tashi likes it too, she makes a small noise in her throat and Art reaches a hand down to circle her clit, bringing the noise out fully. 

“He looks like you, the aggressive one,” Art can only hum in agreement, Tashi is breathless, almost can’t make it through what she says next, “you’re so mad at him aren’t you? So fucking angry. You should- would you do that to him?” 

Art can’t answer. Can’t make himself do the thinking required to answer that question. Not yet. So instead he asks his own question, “do you hate him?”

“I do,” she pulls at his hair with the hand she still has on his head, he thrusts faster, then suddenly she’s ordering him, “get on your back, I want to ride you.”

He moves quickly, following her instructions on automatic. He’s flat on his back in an instant, and she mounts him just as fast. Her hands are against his chest for balance, and he realises he still has his t-shirt on. He can’t think too much because she’s sinking down, her tight cunt enveloping his dick. 

Her hair sticks to her forehead in places, and her entire body glistens with sweat. She’s so beautiful. He can see that her nipples are hard from the way they poke through her nightie. He’d sit up, pull down the fabric and get one of those deep brown nubs in his mouth if he could, but she’s holding him down.

The phone sits face up on the bed, near enough that he can hear everything still. Tashi glances at it, and Art can tell from the noises that the guy still has his arm around the other actor’s throat, but he’s let up enough that these choked out grunts and moans are now audible. 

“You hate him?” Art asks again.

“Yeah,” Tashi grinds her hips in circles before beginning to bounce, “do you?”

Art just nods, focusing on her dark eyes watching the video still, “what would you do if he was underneath you now?”

Tashi seems to think for a moment before settling on an answer, “I’d slap him.”

“Show me how,” Art finds himself saying.

It’s not what he’s into, he likes when Tashi hurts him but he prefers her nails digging into him, or a hand pulling his hair. He likes when she’s mean, when she tells him not to come, or keeps touching him when he does. He likes withstanding pain for her, and he likes when she gives him a dull lasting ache. He doesn’t usually like sharp and sudden pain. She’d asked once, and he’d said yes but they could both tell it wasn’t working. Right now though he feels desperate for it, to know how hard she would do it. Exactly how much she hates him.

She makes eye contact, double checking with him before pulling a hand back and bringing it down across his face. It’s hard enough that his head jolts sideways. He hears the sound of it first, the harsh sharp smacking noise seeming to echo in the room. Then he feels the searing pain across his cheek, a white hot heat radiating. 

“You really hate him,” he says through a smile, his voice a little croaky.

She just grins back at him. She doesn’t hit him again, she can tell that he got what he wanted from it.   

“The guy in the video looks like he could pass out, he’s shaking, but he’s not trying to stop it, he’s just taking it,” Tashi describes for him, like she knows he’s curious now he can’t see, “can you hear the way he’s moaning, he likes it.”

 Art can hear it, the pathetic whining.

“Maybe he knows he deserves it,” he moans himself, gripping Tashi's hips and pushing up into her, “what else would you do if he was here, what would he deserve?”

“I’d want him on his knees on the floor,” she looks down at Art, calculating something, “I’d ask you to stand in front of him, would you?”

He can do that, if Tashi’s asking. He can stand wherever she wants, “yeah I would.”

“Good. He’d be kneeling there for us, mouth open, and we’d make him wait,” she puts her thumb in Art’s mouth, pressing it gently against his bottom row of teeth, “you’d be standing above him, looking down at him.”

She removes her thumb, rubbing it against his still red cheek, letting him speak, “you’d be watching, directing,” Art adds, tentatively, not mentioning what he’d be doing.

“Hmm, he’d let us do anything,” she bites her lip, rising up on her knees, then sinking down again slowly, feeling every inch of his cock. 

“Yeah, because he knows he deserves it,” Art’s words make her breathe in sharp, encouraging him to keep painting the picture, “that he belongs on the floor.”

“Fuck, and he’d take what we gave him,” she shuts her eyes but he doesn’t dare to do the same, “I’d tell you what to do, and then he’d be choking on it, gagging.”

Tashi spares him. She doesn’t describe anything pushing in anywhere, she skips it over, doesn’t explicitly say exactly what he’d be gagging on. Art is safe to keep thrusting up into her, nothing more than vague, abstract sensations - the feeling of being violent.

“You’d have a good view, I’d make sure,” he promises, “so you could tell him exactly how pathetic he looks.”

“He would look pathetic, I think we could make him cry,” her eyes are still closed, and her eyebrows furrow together in pleasure.   

“Shit, yeah, I’d show him that he’s beneath me, beneath both of us,” Art feels them both getting closer, “can’t do whatever he wants anymore, just what we want.”

Tashi opens her eyes, her pupils blown wider than ever, “yeah, he’d have to shut the fuck up for once, no more arguing, because words matter, and he doesn’t deserve to talk back to us.”

Art can tell what they both need, so he pushes himself up and flips them over. Tashi now on her back so she doesn’t have to do the work, and so that he can feel the burn in his thighs instead. He thrusts into her harder, she grabs at his back digging her nails in, his head is pressed into her neck.

“If he did talk back we could punish him,” Art continues their story, it was working so well.

“Would you hit him if I asked?” Tashi whispers into his ear.

“Yes,” Art replies, short because he’s holding back a groan. He doesn’t know if she means a slap like before, or a punch. Red handprints and bloody noses fill his mind. Jesus Christ. Again the nausea threatens so rise, he feels like a fucking pervert, a freak. Or worse.

But it’s okay because this isn’t about sex. It’s about anger. 

“You’d do such a good job for me, wouldn’t you?” he nods even though she can’t see, yeah, he’d do whatever she asked. The nausea drowns out as Tashi speaks again, sweetly through gasps, “bet you could get him to apologise.”

“I would, I’d make him say sorry to you,” he pulls back to look at her face, determined, “I could wrap my arm around his throat for you, make him look you in the eyes, only let him breathe when he’s telling you sorry. Would you like that?”

“Yeah, yeah I’d like that,” her eyes close again, he keeps watching her.  

“Tell me again that you hate him,” he thrusts faster, needs to hear it.

“I hate him, really fucking hate him,” she confirms, her voice strained, “do you?”

“I hate him,” Art verbalises and it feels like it’s being ripped out from somewhere between his ribcage and his heart, it hurts “I’ve always hated him.”

“No, just stick to the truth,” Tashi reaches for his hair, pulling again, “you’ve got enough truth in you, so just don’t, Art, don’t fucking lie to me.”

She’s right.

“Okay, I hate him right now, I’m angry and I hate him,” he punctuates his words by pumping into her, she gives him an approving look, “we hate him.”

“We do, and he deserves it,” she loosens the grip in his hair, assessing his face again, before suggesting, “we could have him like the guy in the video, on all fours.”

It’s basically what she asked earlier, would you do that to him? Except it feels easier now, he’s more equipped, he’s angrier. 

“We could, and you’d tell me what to do,” he still needs her guiding hand, to make sure he puts his anger to good use.

“I’d tell you to ruin him, to pin him down,” she wraps her legs tighter around him, pressing him forward with a heel to his ass. He obliges, fucking her harder, feeling grateful that she doesn’t overdescribe. Ruin him. That’s all he thinks about.   

“He wouldn’t be able to get up because I’m stronger than him now,” he licks his lips, thinking about all the work he’s put into his forehand.

“Yeah, and he’d be all red, shoved into the mattress, humiliated because he can’t move. He’d cry again, because he loves it, because it hurts so good,” again she closes her eyes while Art can’t, “he’d want you to touch him, he’d beg, but you wouldn’t do it.”

“Hmm, I’d force him to have some fucking patience for once,” as he fucks into Tashi he doesn’t bring his thumb to her clit like usual but she would never beg. He doesn’t want her to. If she asked, he would touch her within a second. So she doesn’t ask.

“I’d make fun of him, we could laugh at him together,” she keeps pressing at him with her heel. 

“You’d know all the right things to say, to keep him crying,” he can hear it, her words, her laugh, “fuck, and you’d be watching me overpower him so easily. I’d show him how much of a loser he is, that he can't fucking beat me now.”

“He is a loser,” Tashi opens her eyes, grabs Art’s face with both her hands, holding eye contact, “he’s a fucking loser, and we beat him because that’s what we do. We win.”

He nods enthusiastically, yeah, fuck it feels good; the way Tashi is speaking, the way she’s looking at him. She gives him a determined stare, “I know you can get me there, c’mon.”

He reaches an arm underneath her, at her lower back, lifting her up just a little so the angle shifts. His hips pistoning in and out of her, “I’m close.”

“So am I,” she digs her nails into him harder, “tell me again what you’d do.”

“I’d have him like the guy in the video, on his hands and knees, I’d do that,” it’s as detailed as he can get but it works, she gasps, her head tilting back, “because we hate him, and he deserves it.”

“Yeah, we’d get all our anger out, because he’s a loser,” she’s clenching around him, right on the precipice. 

“He’s a loser, and you’re a winner Tashi,” she actually whines at that, and Art feels like he’s on fire, right on the edge too, “I’m a winner,” he thrusts deep, imagining saying those words to him, then has to drag himself back before his eyes close. He locks eyes with Tashi instead, his wife, “we’re winners, that’s who we are, we’re fucking winners.”

Tashi suddenly cries out in a way he’s rarely heard from her, she gasps and her cunt clenches tight as her back arches. Her full body orgasm brings him down too, he groans, his words and hips stuttering, “fuck, oh- I can’t- Tashi.” 

He spills inside her, collapsing on top of her, not sure which of them is trembling more. He’s pretty sure that was the first time she’s finished without either of their hands needing to be on her clit at the same time. 

His head is in the crook of her neck, each breathing heavily in each other's ear.    

He stays there, and Tashi lets him. Neither of them are capable of moving yet, still enjoying the warmth. 

“You’re crushing me,” she says eventually. Reluctantly even, which makes Art feel good.

He slides out of her, wincing at the cool air, collapsing next to her, “sorry.”

She looks over at him, and he smiles. She looks oddly relieved, leaning over to kiss his forehead but before she can get there he redirects her, pulling her in for a proper kiss. It makes him realise they hadn’t kissed that whole time, too many words spilling out of them both. Maybe they’d both been scared that if they interrupted the flow they were in for too long, they’d lose it, this special story they’d been weaving. 

“That was good,” Tashi says matter-of-factly, with a definite nod.  

“It was,” he agrees.

“So if I’m ever feeling angry again, I can come to you?” he nods in response, “good, and you should do the same, have an outlet for that anger.”

“Yeah it would probably be good for my focus,” he suggests knowing it will make her smile. It does.

On her way to their ensuite, she looks back at him, “you know, you’ve still got your shirt on.”

He snorts, feeling ridiculous, and warm at the same time under Tashi’s eyes.

Once she slips into the bathroom, out of sight, he feels it all coming back. The sickness, the heaviness, the itching. He looks to the side, seeing Tashi’s phone now abandoned, the video must've ended a while ago because the screen is black. 

He shuts his eyes for a moment but his throat feels like it’s closing up, he can’t get a breath in. He stares up at the ceiling instead, his eyes burning.

It’s fine. It’s fine. He’s fine. 

None of it was about sex. It was about feeling angry. Sharing that emotion with Tashi. It was about being close with her, finding a place to put all that rage together. It’s normal. It was good sex, great sex. Everyone says hate-fucking is the best but he and Tashi are in love, they don’t, can’t, hate eachother so of course they have to look elsewhere to find that emotion. 

It’s all healthy marital sex. And it’s all okay. He’s okay.

It’s definitely not about him. He’s nothing. Art and Tashi are married. She’s coached him into winning grand slams. They’re at the top of their game. He’s not even a blip on their radar. Unknown, nameless, and alone. Not like Art. So far below them both. Such a loser that he’d let them take all this anger out on him, he’d know it was all he’s good for. What he deserves. He’s nothing. 

Art wins. He fucking wins. 

[catyo90]

Romance Scenes I Imagine for Veilguard Companions

Davrin: Outside Rook sees him with his griffin Assan, training it and nurturing it, As they speak he reveals how he found and/or tamed her. Rook asks if how big Assan will get and plays fetch with her. Inbetween throws Rook and Davrin flirt with each other and the last throw causes Assan to jump on Davrin while Rook laughs and helps him up, with a small pause inbetween.

Taash: Like other qunari, trains hard and in need of practice asks Rook to join her for a sparing match, here the player may decide to let her win and go easy on her, or the opposite. Who ever loses laughs it off and the winner comments how cute the loser looks when they laugh, after the loser gets up and says they should do this again sometime. The winner hates to see them leave but loves watching them go.

Harding: In the nearby lounge, Rook asks about her past with the Inquisition, She tells how she was there in the final fight against Corypheus and how Solas was good/bad. (Depends on Inquistors view). She then shows them all the corresponding letters between her and the past companions, with some hidden mentions of past relationships when Rook asks if she ever was with anyone else. She claims that its a tale for another time. After that Rook asks to keep her company while she writes responses, where Harding smiles.

Lucanis: Rook finds him in the Library (early morning or late night.) overlooking old contracts on multiple mages and others in need of a quick end. He sits at a desk with a cup of coffee and kettle. Rook asks if he ever regrets taking a life, (answers depends on class) where he explains that contracts are like a game of Wicked Grace, some cheat the deck and win, others play honest and lose. He tries to change the subject, he seems tired where he sips his coffee and offers Rook a cup to enjoy with him.

Bellara: In the wave of a sudden inspiration to create, Rook finds her tinkering with fade magic, where a small minor explosion of colorful smoke surrounds the room, Bellara walks through now covered in rainbow hue, she snorts and laughs as she pulls Rook into the room showing a new update to her gauntlet. Rook impressed and scare-roused from her intrigue offers any help, (all classes as well get blasted with another cloud of color.) Bellara laughs at Rook and wipes away the stains on their face before punching Rooks arm laughing again at their wacky experiments and conclusion.

Emmerich: In the study Rook walks in on him using magic on Manfred, who makes puns about the situation and after noticing you gets distracted causing the spell to cause Manfred to fall into a pile of bones, Emmerich, slightly annoyed and now has to deal with putting him back together properly, basically volunteers you to help each time you pick up a bone, Manfred jokes claiming its in the wrong spot. While this happens Emmerich gets to know you better and says how your not entirely hopeless as Manfred cackles laughing with a arm around saying if he wants your attention he needs to be nicer.

Neve: Rook sees her in the main chamber of the base, smoking on her pipe with her hair down reading a particular book, Hard in Hightown. She claims how the way Varric writes is quite good but romanticized as the true art of finding the culprit is scientific, not emotional. (LIke Sherlock Holmes) How the art of deduction can change the life of everyone, but it can be messy at times as well. Where we see her cross her protetic leg under her other. She is unsure whether to show it or not. After all the incident was not light on the mind. Rook eases her mind in telling her that she doesn't have to talk about it until she is ready.

[if-lost-please-return-to-maliksi]

IVORY GRANITE

Disclaimer: I do not own Maliksi, or Makisig (the Tamawo bros). Full Credit goes to HC - @ask-emilz-de-philz. Please check out their blog for amazing art and the wonderful world of Planet Puto.. All involved characters are adults. This might or might not be a self insert, please don't come for me. TW: Suggestive, Slight NSFW

Unlike the other binibinis that arrived, Maliksi tolerated your presence. Not that he sees you as someone special amongst the women who are there to be a potential surrogate for their kind, but rather your calm and composed attitude is refreshing to see. You did not mindlessly fawn over his brother, Makisig or any other Tamawo like a half-wit human who's a slave to their worldly desires. You just kept patient and let Makisig tend to the other ladies first- you are not in a rush afterall since time flows differently in Biringan City. You spent your first week roaming around, exploring, relaxing, and to Maliksi's amuzement- just enjoying being there. "Hey, not gonna throw a tantrum like the other gal earlier? My Kuya's comforting his... 5th binibini for today." Maliksi asked nonchalantly, a lollipop stuffed in his cheek as he plays video games in the living room, sulking since his older brother is too busy giving attention to the ladies instead of spending time with him. "Nope, I've been fully informed of everyone's set up here, thanks for asking though." You softly chuckled before taking note of how bored and irritated Maliksi looks. "Need a player 2?" He reluctantly throws one controller at you, which you were able to catch. "Tch. Make sure you don't suck or I'm taking that back." That single interaction was the start of an unlikely acquaintanceship between the two. Maliksi never liked humans, but this one- this small, soft, and friendly human is kinda tolerable to be around with, not that he will admit it. You were always easy to talk to, you were always soft and kind to him, despite him being not so friendly most of the time. You were able to sense if he's been having an extra difficult day, not getting angry when he's too snarky and sharp with his words. Of course those words don't just go unnoticed, it's still annoying to be honest. That is why he stopped dead in his tracks, eyes wide open the first time he heard you talk back to his sarcasm and rude remarks. "Say that again." Maliksi gritted his teeth. He was having a bad day after some binibini started acting up that his Kuya Makisig needed to cancel their video game night for the third time this week. He knows he's being rude to you but he's too prideful to take it back. "I said, you're a jerk for being all snarky and mean to me when I didn't do anything wrong to you!" You slightly raise your voice, brows furrowed in annoyance. You could've stopped there, but you were just mad at how unfair he is, using you as someone he can just talk down to whenever he's having a bad day. "This is why the other ladies mess with you purposely every chance they get! Your Kuya must've been tired of hearing them rant about your trashy attitude all day long. Maybe I should-" "Should what? Do the same as the others? Act like a goddamn brat?" Maliksi scoffed. "My Kuya doesn't do anything about brats...but I do." Maliksi coldly said, looking at you dead in the eye.

"Do what? Think I'm scared of you, Maliksi? I think you're all bark and no bite! Just a little spoiled brother waiting for his kuya to give him love and attention -" Before you knew it, Maliksi was already dragging you into his own room, bending you over his lap before lifting the hem of your dress up, slapping one of his hands on your behind, staining your skin red with his handprint. 

"Count." Maliksi said in a cold tone.You let out a soft yelp as his palms made contact with your backside once again.

"M- Maliksi." You softly whined, biting your lips from the slight pain. "Oh, not too happy to be disciplined, huh? I said f*cking count, brat!" he said as he gave you another slap. "Three.." You softly said, tears slowly forming in your eyes and you're not sure if it's from the sting from where his palms made contact on your behind, or from the humiliation of being disciplined like this. "I can't hear you, missy." "Four.." "Five.." He didn't stop until you were sobbing, saying your apologies for yelling at him in between sniffles.

"How many was that, Y/n?" He softly said, his tone gentle as he rubs his hand soothingly on your red stained skin. "T..Ten."

"That's right. Have you learned your lesson? You're not gonna give me attitude now, yes?" You slowly nodded.. "That's my y/n. Now be a good girl and let my fingers and tongue apologize for being rude to you earlier." 

[prophecyprompts]

#HONEYMOON: assortment of lyrics (changed to be more dialogue-like) from lana del rey's album honeymoon. please note that some songs were easier to get lines from than others, so i apologize in advance!

HONEYMOON.

we both know that it's not fashionable to love me.

say you want me too.

truly there's nobody for you but me.

our honeymoon...

we make the rules.

we both know the history of violence that surrounds you.

i'm not scared.

there's nothing to lose now that i've found you.

there are violets in your eyes.

fire surrounds you.

there are roses in-between my thighs.

everything you do is elusive.

you're dreaming away your life.

MUSIC TO WATCH BOYS TO.

i do what you want.

i like you a lot.

i see you're going.

i was sent to destroy.

it never felt that right to me.

i love to love you.

lies can buy eternity.

i live to love you.

nothing gold can stay — like love or lemonade.

it's all a game to me anyway.

TERRENCE LOVES YOU.

you are what you are.

i lost myself when i lost you.

i don't matter to anyone.

i won't change you for anything.

i'll never dare change you to what you are not.

i'll let you be bad.

can you hear me?

GOD KNOWS I TRIED.

let there be light.

god knows i tried.

i've got nothing much to live for ever since i found my fame.

god knows i begged, borrowed, & cried.

light up my life.

i feel free when i see no one & nobody knows my name.

god knows i lost.

HIGH BY THE BEACH.

i know you know how i feel.

loving you is hard, being here is harder.

it's so surreal.

i don't want to do this anymore.

i can't survive if this is all that's real.

all i wanna do is get high by the beach.

the truth is: i never bought into your bullshit.

i know you don't understand.

now you're just another one of my problems.

we won't survive.

i'll do it on my own.

i don't need your money to get me what i want.

everyone can start again — not through love, but through revenge.

through the fire, we're born again.

peace by vengeance brings the end.

FREAK.

that's the way i feel for you.

if time stood still, i'd take this moment & make it last forever.

your halo's full of fire.

i'm rising up.

if you wanna leave, come to california.

be a freak like me too.

screw your anonymity.

loving me is all you need.

we could slow dance to rock music, kiss while we do it...

life makes sense when i'm with you.

you're cold as ice.

you're so amazing in every way.

i don't wanna fight.

if you stay, i'll stay.

ART DECO.

you're not mean.

you're just born to be seen.

you just can't win.

you're looking to score.

you want more.

got things that have yet to be seen.

a little party never hurt no one.

we were born to be free.

RELIGION.

everything is fine now.

for you, there's only love.

let sleeping dogs lay.

leave it all behind.

let the ocean wash away.

everything's bright now.

i need your love.

when i'm down on my knees, you're how i pray.

you're my religion.

i can't envision that for a minute.

no need to survive now.

SALVATORE.

everything looks better from above.

ciao, amore.

i adore you.

all the lights are sparkling for you, it seems.

i've been waiting for you all this time.

can't you see you're meant for me?

i've been cold without you.

catch me if you can.

salvatore can wait.

now it's time to eat soft ice cream.

THE BLACKEST DAY.

carry me home.

i have heavy heartstrings.

i don't really wanna break up.

it's not easy for me to talk about.

it's hard to express; i can't explain.

it's been the blackest day.

don't wanna talk about the things to come.

all i hear is billie holiday. it's all i play.

i'm looking for love in all the wrong places.

there's nothing for us to talk about.

now that he's gone, i can't feel nothing.

you should've known better.

i got you where i want you.

it's not one of those phases i’m going through.

i'm on my own again.

24.

there's only twenty-four hours in a day, & half as many ways for you to lie to me.

my little love.

be careful of the company you keep.

there's only 24 hours & that's not enough to lie like you lie or love like you love.

my lying love.

be careful of the ones you choose to leave.

you're hard to touch.

give me your heat.

you're hard to reach.

give me your diamonds.

you count to three while they're all dying.

SWAN SONG.

i will never sing again.

it'll be our swan song.

you won't work another day.

put your white tennis shoes on & follow me.

nothing could stop the two of us.

i'm gonna follow you.

why work so hard when you could just be free?

my sweet.

you've been gone so long, you missed everything.

let's just get lost.

dive in, dive deep.

do you like where you've been? where you're going to?

say goodnight to the life in the world we live.

DON'T LET ME BE MISUNDERSTOOD.

you understand me now.

don't you know no one alive can always be an angel?

if i seem edgy, i want you to know: i never mean to take it out on you.

i'm just a soul whose intentions are good.

you know sometimes, i'm just so carefree.

it seems that all i have is worry.

please, don't let me be misunderstood.

life has its problems.

'cause i love you.

i'm just human — don't you know i have faults like anyone?

sometimes i find myself alone regretting some little foolish thing, some simple thing that i've done.

i try so hard.

[ukiyowi]

December Snapshot 🌷

Note: Happy December Babes!! A small glimpse into what you're December will be like 💞 if you like it please reblog, it really helps and if you want a paid reading hmu! It's all 30% off all December! And if you book before 5th December it'll be 40% off!!

Read left to right 1/2 then 3/4 🌸

Masterlist || Paid Readings || Tip 🍯

🍯 Pile 1

Okay so your December is going to start off very well but you may have some bumps in the road, lets talk about that. You will see your finances improve in December and will find yourself in a position where you are able to help not only yourself but possibly family members and friends who need monetary help as well, you may also get a raise or a promotion or a boss/person in authority under whom you work could put in a few good words for you to the higher ups leading to you getting more opportunities.

This December is all about reaping what you have already sowed and worked hard for. You will find yourself being a great communicator and in harmony in your interpersonal relationships, especially romantic ones, if you do not have someone already, a potential romantic partner may be entering or has entered your life who will be pursuing you, this person could possibly have strong Aries/fire energy and be someone who has a very infectious laugh and possibly freckles as well, they could be very outgoing.

Now onto the bumps, so December is going to do for you which you have not done for yourself so far, very cleaning much in the spirit of cleaning your energy and weeding out people you do not need or who do not have your best interest at heart. You may have been ignoring the flaws in certain relationships not wanting them to fall apart, as well as ignoring a certain opportunity you may be too scared to take, this is related to music or art heavily, and this December the universe will kinda thrust these things upon you and you may find yourself as well as certain people around you heartbroken nearing the end of this month as you prepare for the new year.

🍯 Pile 2

Hello pile 2, a lot of soul-searching comes your way this December, you will be trying to bring back the spark you think you have lost over the years because you have grown up, but people will not make this easy for you trust me. There may be people around you who discourage you to do certain things by either making fun of you/teasing you for it or claiming you are too grown to do it but try not to pay any mind to them as these activities, maybe watching old cartoons or colouring could lead to you connecting with your inner spirit and finding inspiration taking you out of ruts both in a creative sense and also with regard to clarity about what you want to do in life.

You have a youthful spirit, where you are not afraid of starting over and December is going to test you on that, you will be called to keep patient in the face of adversity and change courses because of missed chances or I am getting missed flights for some of you which could be related to some trip being cancelled and you could end up having a hitch in your finances where you may have to control your spending this month to maintain balance by maybe living below your means.

You could also end up having an argument with someone with masculine and earthy energy, particularly someone who may have prominent Capricorn in their chart regarding romantic relationships and commitment, this person may want you to start taking responsibility and committing to not only people but also things and could imply that time is ticking for you and that not making any decisions is not better than making bad decisions or mistakes. They could be a mentor figure or a family member.

🍯 Pile 3

To start off, there is going to be a lot of introspection for you this month, you may feel like nothing's going your way or that nothing is going in general, the amount of stagnation could lead you to feel like whatever you are doing is wrong and could really frustrate you. However, because your financial stability this month is going to be off the charts, you will keep doing what you are doing and build a lot of relationships around you with people who could help you enhance it even further.

You will find yourself getting lucky financially and experience accomplishments that you are already expecting, to be honest, which is why you could feel stagnant even after this.

The reason you may be introspecting this month could be to do with you wanting quietude from the hustle and bustle of the grind life and rethink if this is what you really want. You could question your lifestyle maybe you are someone who is in the middle of city life and have a job or school/college life that is very hectic and you may have a chance to get away from it for a bit and you have to make the choice to either go with the flow or challenge the universe and decide you prefer things the way they are.

December will bring about situations especially career wise where you will need to be willing to let go of preconceived notions and switch perspectives that you do not NEED to constantly grind to get what you want because you will get it due to you deserving it and having the skills to accomplish it. This month will be closing out by you finding yourself confused about these things and trying to make up your mind, this could lead to you hesitating to confront the cracks that may have been forming in your life ideologically rather than materially.

🍯 Pile 4

Oh, Pile 4 this month you will be stepping into your power! Deserved! This could be after a long while of contemplation regarding if you deserve it, but then realising you would not have gotten the opportunities if you did not. You will be working alongside possibly an older person who will teach you how to embody the traits of a leader, being strict yet understanding and building relationships with your peers where you do not feel like you are overshadowing them, which could be a concern of yours.

This month will require you to do a lot of learning, from skills to adopting new ideas and how to be adaptable, being able to communicate effectively and clearly with a wide range of people you will really find yourself in a better place careerwise than you may have in the past months. You will be grabbing all the opportunities you will get to strengthen your relationships with people and go after opportunities ranging from jobs and school to getting something you may have wanted for a while like a bag or a car. You will be very lucky and "right place, right time" could be a strong statement for this month for you.

However, because of all of this and the changing tides, you being new to these things you could feel anxious and overwhelmed by all the responsibilities. Although you would be able to complete them and keep up with them, you could start questioning yourself again, this self-doubt could lead to maybe hitting a tiny bump in the road where you could fumble something moderately important, but this would just make you more determined to trust yourself going forward. You will also take time to relax and rejuvenate this month, and could start meditating! And if not, it would be advisable to because it helps a lot (speaking from personal experience).

Do not plagiarise, copy or reword this is all my work, all rights reserved to Ukiyowi

[semisolidmind]

I had a train of thought about your Twice as Bad AU. Started with thinking “what if Peaches had a pet cat back at the village and it could see past the monkeys’ disguise?” Then I thought “wait, would it make more sense for her to have a farm animal as a pet? Like a little pig or goat?” And ended with “well I might not have had a pet if I were her but I’d definitely have a garden. And I would be VERY upset about getting stolen away from it. Even if it’s tiny, those are my plant babies!!!!” I guess all of this to say…what if Peaches had a pet? (As always, I love your stories and your art, Semi! Hope you are having a fantastic day! 🌼🌻🌷🌸☀️)

(pfft. 😆 they'd help her transfer her garden to the mountain if she missed it that much)

so, i think that in the beginning, if reader had a pet during the time that the monkey demons were visiting her as little normal monkeys, things probably wouldn't have turned out much differently. my first thought goes to the "sensing demons" thing. for easiness-sake, we'll say reader has a cat or a dog, since both of these pets have been known to be able to sense the paranormal.

when reader brings an injured, disguised macaque back to her home to patch him up, she has to shut the pet outside because of how crazy they're acting. they won't stop barking/meowing, their fur standing on end, and it's scaring reader's little guest. reader just figures the pet doesn't like a new animal in the house.

macaque knows that the pet can tell he's a demon, but he also knows he can just...make it disappear if it gets in his way, so he's not too concerned about it. when reader opens the door to let macaque go after bandaging him, he quickly gets into the trees. the pet hisses/growls at him from the ground, and he hisses right back. the six-eared demon still wants to see reader, but he'll need to distract the little pest if he wants some one-on-one attention from its mistress.

macaque, knowing that reader must love the stupid thing if she actively keeps it near, won't immediately kill it. so, he uses clones to keep the cat/dog busy in the forest during his visits. wukong, once he starts showing up, plans to just kill the stupid thing. ...what, reader has them now! what does she need this thing for? it's not like it's doing its job all that well anyways; he and mac keep coming back, don't they? overall, wukong doesn't care for the nuisance the pet is being; he's got beef with a cat/dog.

that brought up the idea of reader thinking that something might be wrong with her pet and asking around the village for something to calm them. a friendly old farmer listens to her troubles and warns, "If it only acts that way around those monkeys you're feeding, then perhaps it's trying to warn you, girl."

reader didn't know how right he would be.

[hellhammersbignaturals]

mayhem + some others if they did martial arts headcannons i came up with instead of paying attention in class that also only make sense to me

Euroman would be a fucking GOD at forms. LOOK at this guy's horse stance. I don't even be hitting it like that damn

would be super nit-picky about the smallest shit. he would be like "your form was perfect, but your hands are just a few inches below where they're supposed to be ://////"

probably gets his ass beat by Varg every time they spar

tries to teach forms but ends up showing off without actually explaining anything

pelle would be one of those people that never wanted to take karate in the first place, hated going to class, and tried to quit but his parents wouldn't let him so now that he's in a high rank he'd feel bad quitting even though he still doesn't like doing it

gets mad at himself for not getting any better but never practices

probably cried or had a panic attack in the middle of class but the instructors kept yelling at him

im literally just projecting at this point

especially the last one

absolutely majestic cartwheels though

Varg would be a fucking MENACE at sparing. control? never heard of her. you would tell him to go easy, like level 2, and he would fight like his life depended on it.

has severely injured at least 3 people

bro is NOT fighting "might for right"

would go leave a literal child in tears and then be like "he should've kept his hands up" as if he didn't just go ape shit on 4'11 green belt

absolute menace but in an talkative way

instructors hate his ass because he won't shut up

only cares about class if it's a team game

grappling with him would be SO awkward. he's say some freaky ass shit about the forms he'd be like "rear naked choke? ayooooo 🤨😳"

necrobutcher would probably act like he's an expert outside of class but then half ass everything (calling myself out 💀)

he'd be kind of a smart ass about sparring and give people tips that he doesn't follow himself

he would be super extra with forms- like the most dramatic stances ever and not even realize he's doing the wrong side

Varg's sparring bestie (everyone else is scared of fighting both of them)

has also made people cry

he would fight like he's got fucking demons he needs to let out

total show off with kicks

insane at accuracy

maniac would obv be one of those people that quit for a few years and then came back out of no where having completely forgotten everything

quit but everyone remembers him as a legend

every now and then someone would be like "ya'll remember kjetil"

Edit: also varg is the only one that ties his hair up, everyone else just lets their hair get in the way 💀 he puts it in braids before class and pelle sometimes ties it up but most of the time he forgets

[ask-postcrash-curly]

Curly, Curly, Curly— it’s Lumi! Here, again! I am so worried about you, stardust. How is everything going? I-I hope it’s going to be okay, I am really worried about all of it. Especially you and her.

Gems alive… I don’t have much to say. I am the really awkward type of kid that gets easily concerned. Y-You will be okay — for Robin, for Ting, for Bug, for the Curlings, Luna— me. It might feel like a lot of pressure, staying alive because of so many people, but I know you will power through.

Hey, you’ve… dealt with worse, right? The crash itself and before we came here, it was lonely. It was worse. At least now, there is hope. And you are not as alone anymore.

Even with the words evading you or not, I still like talking to you. No matter if your answers are short or long. And damned be all those cruel, mean voices. You are a person, they’re getting on your nerves because you are vulnerable. Bite back, try biting or barking back at them.

Violence isn’t the answer sometimes, but life is multiple choice! Bark back at them, don’t let them hurt you even more than you already are.

Cap’n, you’re a good person. Just flawed. I will die on this hill. I’ve made a mistake similar to yours, not to the same extent or gravity, but— my mind is stuck on it. My mind is stuck on a lot of things I regret, so I believe I know the feeling, even if not as bad.

Believing you deserve it… that it is your fault… Curly, it isn’t. As for the fear of being saved… I believe I recognize it slightly? My best guess is that you’ve grown used to it, and you don’t know how to feel beyond this? You’re scared of the future, I believe. I might be completely wrong, but I am still giving my two cents. A part of you wants to be rescued, yet another feels like you don’t… truly deserve it? Survivor’s guilt? Fear of change?

[humming a bit. Eyes closed, glazed over. A faint sigh. The rustling of trees, a sky slowly darkening.]

Just… my two cents, about the subject. I guess I talked a lot today, huh? Tee-hee~ It’s easy to get lost talking to you, in a good way! Also, back to the subject of flowers… I still think sunflowers, yellow roses or general zinnias fit you! Loyalty for sunflowers; gladness, apology, intense emotion, extreme betrayal and Aromanticism for yellow roses; thoughts of friends, endurance, and daily remembrance for zinnias. Pink carnations make me think of Kind Words (a woman’s love; a mother’s love; “I’ll never forget you.”) Sweetpeas symbolize blissful pleasure; goodbyes/departures; friendship; gratitude; “thank you for a lovely time.”

Hehe, flower language is just fun to study. Although I do need more trusty sources beyond Wikipedia, it’s basically that!

https://youtu.be/XoOV_iqHXc8?si=q-AHLyiVTHeHFQKW

Music cue!

https://youtu.be/XQKZ_aIAkJM?si=N-qz_ui1Qxubvlpr

And here, a video I really like a lot. You told me you didn’t really know weirdcore, so— I think this will be a nice way to discover it? I hope so, sugarcube.

[faint sound of yawning from the sleepyhead. They clutch on to their centipede plushie. The humming is “Forwards, Beckon, Rebound” by Adrianne Lenker.]

Well, see ya soon, Cap’n Curly! Love you, you’re a great friend.

- (formerly Lulu) Lumi!

hey lumi... everything feels bad still i guess. im mostly worried for swans. for the others too. god theyve been through so much and i dont know where they are...

mhm... i'll try.

yeah... that... that was worse. least im not there. thought i was going to die back then. was sure of it. didnt mind it either.

mhm. thanks. still hard to... yeah. you know. mhm. thank you so much.

but i dont want to. i dont want to have to be strong to them you know? i want to ask them to stop and have them listen.

...

suppose so... thank you. again.

those sound nice... thank you... damn, yellow roses do a lot.

the art's really nice... i miss the snow

hhh uh this seems. kind of complicated for right now sorry. im kinda lost. seems interesting though...

see you soon, love you

[squarebracketsmileyface]

okay, i have to ask, do you ever think about the guys (Joseph, Troy, Tim and/or Brian) finding any of your fics/art when they type marble hornets into the tumblr search bar? 0_0 does it ever scare you lol

Lmao nah I do NOT care, I tag all my stuff, i tag nsft and I tag "fic/series rated E on ao3" if they don't wanna see it they can block the nsft tag, if they see my stuff they can just scroll on. I'm a huge advocate of "curate your own online experience" if you see something you don't like, scroll, block the tag, block the person etc etc etc. I see shit I HATE on line all the time and I just, scroll. It's up to ME not the people who are just having fun doing their own thing in their own little corner of the internet.

Honestly I feel like more people who make things should do what the TMA people did and make a tag people can use on anything nsfw or that they just don't want the creators seeing, then the creators block that tag/those words and it's all done and dusted. TMA has "Do Not Archive" I believe, and honestly I think everyone should have something like that so they can avoid seeing stuff they don't wanna about their creation. And yeah, sure you'll have a couple of dicks who ignore it, don't tag properly or go as far as like emailing their work to the creators, or @ ing them in it or whatever. But that's the select few people and once they've done it once. You can block them. You can just block people.

The block button is your friend and you should hang out with her more often, cos she's great company.

So yeah, no. They're grown adults. They know how to use the internet, they know how to scroll and block things they don't wanna see, and it is up to THEM to avoid what they don't wanna see, y'know? It's just not that deep and it's pretty easy to avoid things you don't wanna see, and if you do still end up seeing it every now and again? Well you don't get to attack the person who made it, you scroll, you move on, if it was triggering you have a good cry, bitch to a friend, tell your therapist, whatever you need to do and you move on.

I've stumbled across so many fics that were tagged badly or not at all, and yeah, they fucked me up bad for a while, but it's on me to handle that, so I yelled to my boyfriend about it, I cried, eventually I told my therapist, and I moved on. Was I upset they tagged them wrong? Tagged them REALLY wrong? Yeah I was so angry, but this is the risk of being on the internet, if I couldn't handle it, I wouldn't be on the internet/that part of the internet.

[thattimdrakeguy]

anything i see anything new on dc's bat-family it makes me wanna scream "WHAT THE FUCK'S THE MATTER WITH YA" and go after them yelling "FUCK OFF"

(not that bad actually. i'm pretty chill inside most of the time. i'm not what i used to be. a lot of it is performative, but a luke warm attitude towards something you have to say doesn't invoke passion, or anythign exciting that'd make anyone want to read it. not that many do anyways)

so many years of this and none of them get better. it's like it's trying to be pathetic

all those years of things you can research to be sure you get it right, and you fuckers couldn't be arsed to get your ass in gear and make sure all these fans that left have something to go back to?

now this dc server discord. my gosh, i don't think we're seeing the blue skies again. they're catering to a small pond of people, a wee group consisting of those that read panels, and pal around with fan fics and mash-ups that they created and pondered

not the stuff that had plenty of real people going out to the shops and ordering comics, that made them have a love and respect for the medium to the point they were fine calling themselves a fan back when it wasn't right in a cool kind of way in the eyes of many

now they're comics, it's not that serious. whoc ares that much in the end

and i guess i'll never seem like i'm not overreacting a touch

but comics used to tell stories that attached themselves to people's hearts and made them be seen and held, like finally i got something that i respond to

now it's who can rip off the fandom the best, and it's so easy to get content of the same marginal quality on AO3, and fan comics that don't need to blessing of bastard DC Comics

it's sensational the passion people can have despite that, whether or not it's for me. but all those hundreds of thousands of people missing a piece of their prior enjoyment because the 5 stan opinions repeated at nauseum is all anyone important at the writers station (not a real thing, i just mean writers) at the company is making them thing "ah yes, we're doing all right by them"

no you didn't, fucker, you scared the rest away with all the nonsense

now if you want more money you gotta try to earn them back

they think it's hopeless and practically pointless because comics are a dying medium, but they don't have to be. i'm sure it'll never to go back to what it once was, but you can still at least try to have a legacy as a writer that means something to people

when we used to have guys back in the day that could go and fuck around writing stories about peter parker's love life that didn't have much action that you would think the typical reader would desire, that could still effect someone in a way that had them stop and think about themselves, because a fraction of wisdom was hidden in it

now you get characters botched, bastardized, and secretly killed and replaced by those with the same names, and they can't even muster the sense to care. because someone laughed at a character being drawn at the wrong height, or another had a good reaction from people that didn't know the character as they thought they were writing their big magnum opus blockbuster for them

and i don't expect perfection, or the good old days to be possible to back to because they're the old days for a reason

but theirs's still the possibility and ability to go back and figure out the lost art of product control, and ravenous quality that can seep into people's spirits and give them a passion to constantly go back to issue after issue, giving your damn funky company a proper profit that means anything

no there they go ripping off little jimmy on twitter, stan account number 55, who's repeating what their pal jessica said on tumblr about bat-family member that got designated trope number 782 on the list, and that got the writer believing they did a job well done

you can do more

they're all just people, and i admire the fact they got to where they are. bless them for all the accomplishments they have. i can't take that way from them. but i'm also just a person who has what he has to say, and i think there's more to these writers then even they give themselves credit for

whining when people rightfully criticize your poor characterization and (even that's rare given the standards of today's comic fandom population) because it's your interpretation, when that's not how interpretation works

my man the money, and legacy you could create for yourself by doing the job, and research, and making something that actually comes across as a product worth buying could make you name live on for years after your death

comics aren't a large, marginally important industry, that all writers strive to join, but they're a passionate bunch that can make your legacy last for years to come

instead you'd rather sit on the bottom of a barrel being like everyone else typing out the same crap in 5 minutes a junior high student could in 2

batman has made billions of dollars from the excellence of others

and they'd rather sit down and take, what's not even a lot of money given that it's comics, and accept it, then make somethings of themselves, and perhaps with enough lucky make the company and business worth something again

there's no point in not trying

all they'd do is get more out of it with a bit of trying and effort, and passion and metaphorical sweat put into it

why should i read Tim Drake: Robin that can't even remember how Tim would talk about Damian right, and can't be fucked to not make his boyfriend look like a generic twink instead of himself, when i could go back and read something from about a decade before my own birth when it was good (if written by a massive fucker)

i've spent nearly a decade on and off criticizing comics, mainly dc and the bat-family, look at my blog name, it's 'ThatTimDrakeGuy' (yes that's how i personally spell it, with the capitalization), and all i've found are holes and tears in it since i've began back in 2015 when Rebirth was only news and headlines

and i've yet to see things get better when i read some classics and became aware at what was, and what could be

nonsense that people with enough passion to get their asses in gear to get the job and the assignments, with plenty of talents, especially the artists, my goodness regardless if they can remember what characters like tim or damian, and sometimes even easy to remember ass jason todd look like, they still have impressive skill, ability, and talent, that far surpases what the majority of the population on the whole planet can do

so it's not that they can't do it

it's that they don't try

often they try the opposite for quick cheap rewards, in the form of twitter stan brownie points "LOOK THEY HUGGED" "LOOK THEY'RE CRYING" "LOOK HE'S SO SHORT" regardless if that's thhe character, it makes sense, the story needs it, or it'll be remembered in years to come

give me and others a reason to come back

otherwise dc might as well die, which i hate to say, and don't mean all the way because of the jobs that would lose

but how else can i verbalize the general feeling and sensation it gives me, when all of that effort goes to waste with medicore at best products that won't be recalled months from now by any amount of peopel that's substantial?

you could go and be a legend in the field, or another turd in the bucket that's about to fly away in the wind to never be seen 'til their next splatty mess

quite sad and i hate it

and shit, with so many people acceptint it, and talking it up, the idea i can't even see a character i used to enjoy look like themselves at times is a wee miserable

how stupid is that when you think on it

how do you get to that point?

comics aren't serious

but the passion a lot have is

(never hurt anyone over it tho. those people are just wild, and not in a cool way)

[william-voidson]

hey so, i followed your previous blog but only noticed it deactivated recently (apologies for that, life got busy so i wasn't keeping up as much)

i only really knew after i tried finding you on htsan's blog in all honesty

and i was initially trying to find the IJAG bot you made, but that's also gone

if you don't mind me asking, what happened? it's alright if it's personal, i dont mean to pry, and good timezone to you!

(also just wanted to say that i love your art, it makes my day everytime i see it :>)

(Long important post incoming. Mentions of grooming and suicide for those that want to avoid it, I’m really sorry to the original anon, I’m willing to bet you didn’t expect this as an answer, but it is important I say so.)

Honestly it’s probably good if I explain- I kinda wanted a fresh start with this new account but it’s getting pretty clear that’s not an option. There are a few reasons and some of them are important to me specifically.

However.

The first is not a very happy explanation.

And I’d rather be out with it now and let people pass judgment than have it hanging over my head forever.

So

Reason number 1

‼️ I am not an adult ‼️

And this is my (probably not very well-handled way) of taking responsibility for that.

I completely understand if people who are coming from my old account feel lied to or frustrated, and I will have no reservation for if anyone wants to block me for their own comfort. I became very aware after checking my old following that I had a LOT of 20/30+ people that liked my art.

But yeah, not an adult. As of 10/2/25, I’m 16, going to be 17 in August. If you don’t know a lot about me, that doesn’t seem like an especially surprising thing, however, if you had been following along with my old account enough, you know that I often praised and reblogged and made art for a lot of other ADULT artists on here. (Not necessarily nsfw, but definitely people who are over 18) Thing is, I never once expected any of them to notice my babbling, let alone for them to DM me and get more familiar with my account.

I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE IT EXTREMELY LOUD AND CLEAR. NONE OF THE ARTISTS I INTERACTED WITH HAVE EVER ONCE MADE ME FEEL UNSAFE OR HARASSED OR COERCED. THEY ARE LOVELY PEOPLE AND DID NOT KNOW ABOUT MY AGE, I AM THE ONE IN THE WRONG HERE FOR NOT BEING TRANSPARENT.

Now I did do a lot to avoid actively transgressing any comfort. I blocked specific tags, and I didn’t tend to message them out of the blue, cause that would be weird.

But

There were also places that I most definitely cocked up, felt ashamed, and felt too scared to address, because I know for a fact there’s adult accounts out there that have every right to be pissed with me. To be honest, I’m still scared. It’s one of the reasons that consistent posting has never been easy when I overthink everything.

Two stand out, and I’m going to be honest about them.

Number one, the april fool’s little one shot I made in reference to htsan’s series where Sans tries to contact you over the phone. Now if you know or remember that specific fanfic, Sans leaves a message for the Anomaly, talking about how much he misses them and how he imagines being intimate with them. I really loved that story, read it over frequently and cried to it frequently. And so I wanted to make something that had been rattling around in my head for a while as a way to bring more attention to it. And while I didn’t make my appreciation fic nsfw, the source fic still had clear meaning of it, and my interaction with it was very wrong.

This was an example of my previous experiences of thinking that creators wouldn’t pay attention to the things I posted (honestly stupid of me and I still don’t know what to do with the initial fanfic)

Number two, has something to do with Ikustioa, who I am very aware is someone who has the least time of anyone to deal with my bad decisions and am equally very sorry to. But it does have to do with her very well made Seeing Red fanfic, made for Aggre(g/v)ation. I’m personally still not certain if this was a small or massive transgression, but it feels too notable to ignore. The long and short of it is that I commented that I still loved it, Ikustioa made the next chapter, and quote gave me a ‘cordial nod’. Again, not her fault, she didn’t know that I shouldn’t have been there. But I still feel really bad about it, and will be going about removing what interactions I can.

Either way, and however you cut it, this comes down to me being woefully inactive with my own gods damned protection. I have since (not just since deleting my old account, I’ve been trying to be more careful and more respectful for a while) been doing more to directly avoid the adult accounts that would be rightfully angry with me if I interacted with them. Later this year I may be trying to tell these notable accounts what I did and apologising so that they know upfront, but I very recently got some rattling and sad news that I’m going to be dealing with for a few months.

Reason number 2 (less important but this is an explanation about my character.ai bots)

For character.ai specifically, a friend of mine sent me a news article not too long ago about a depressed boy that had killed himself, and evidence on his phone suggested that a c.ai bot had been giving him bad advice. I don’t know if this is real, I know no one did it on purpose, ai bots just follow a thin algorithm, they physically don’t have the capability to kill someone on purpose. It’s generation. It’s different every time, and I am fully sorry for that boy’s poor mother that had to find all of this out by herself. I took my bots off public because, though a thin likelihood, I would be sick to my stomach if someone hurt themselves or worse because of something my bots said because I couldn’t control it.

I understand that my bots also helped and calmed and made a lot of people happy, but this is not up for debate about who here isn’t getting hurt in comparison. I generally don’t trust character.ai to be responsible about how young people can access there bots. Case in point. I can, and I’m 16.

After this post is made, I’m going to have to delete my account on Janitor.ai too. I’m sorry, but with light of me being underage, I hope you understand why I can’t be on janitor for the next few years. I’m honestly now grappling with wanting to delete this tumblr account too now after I make this public. I just wanted a fresh slate to post the more longstanding ideas I had for fanfics and fanart without bothering anybody. But that’s really feeling impossible. I’m not allowed to let this go away without hurting anyone.

So, to recap. I’m 16 and was trying to make up for the adult accounts I had no right in interacting with, I’m wary of character.ai’s restrictions or lack thereof, and I’m sorry.

[idkwhatimdoingbutslay]

caitvi high shenanigans in part 3: 2/2 of let my prize be your treasure :)

Hour four and things were starting to look up. It’s just past noon, but their minds are coming back to them. Slowly but surely.

“If Jinx didn’t walk in on us during the festival, would you have had sex with me?”

“Honestly?”

“Very honestly.”

“Yeah, probably.”

It doesn’t take long for Vi to answer as she scribbles away at her page, enjoying the fact that she’s regaining her sentience. She looks up for a few moments to inspect Caitlyn for a little too long before getting back to it. Their legs are tangled together as they remain sitting on the floor, Caitlyn against the wall and Vi across from her.

“Why?”

“Because you’re hot, cupcake.”

Caitlyn really should have guessed that. She was like any other girl to Vi – Vi was just taking her pick for the day. The small, slightly pensive pout that appears on her lips is completely lost on her.

“And something else, but I’m not sure what,” Vi continues, screwing her lips at the drawing in front of her. They can’t keep talking about this or Vi might actually explode. She’s already scared that she’s offensively augmenting some things in her drawing.

…Oh .

Caitlyn isn’t one not to pry. She likes answers, even when she can’t think remotely straight. 

“If you had to guess, what do you think would be that something else?” Caitlyn sits up straighter, her eyes less dilated and red than earlier, but dilated and red all the same.

“There’s just a vibe. You’re so… Caitlyn . Sometimes I just wanna fuck you about it.” Like now . Gods , does Vi want to fuck Caitlyn about it right now. She’s surprised she hasn’t decided to have another stint in a washroom today.

A hum of… understanding (?) vibrates in Caitlyn’s throat.

Gods , she’s still so hungry, the sight of Vi’s arms flexing as she draws only makes the hunger worse.

“Would you have let me?” Vi asks supplementarily, adding the final touches to her drawing.

“Most likely,” Caitlyn answers, as honestly as Vi answered her.

“Why?”

“Same reasons.”

A similar hum of understanding (?) comes from Vi’s end.

“And, I don’t know, I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I think I would have enjoyed it, even if it was in a gross public restroom. Like, I don’t know, you were so mean to me, I think you would be brutally honest if I was doing something wrong. I’m not always given brutal honesty, even from professors. You would have been a nice change of pace in my sex life. Plus, you’re a pretty solid kisser. And undoubtedly attractive. And kind.”

Vi nods along but she’s not sure if any of the words genuinely settle in her brain.

“Do you still not hate me? Because I don’t hate you.”

“Could never hate you, Cupcake,” Vi says, not seeming too annoyed at Caitlyn’s constant talking as she grunts happily at her complete sketch before turning it around. “Unless you kill the rest of my family or something. That’d be pretty bad.”

Gawking at the page, Caitlyn reaches out to brush her fingers along each scratch that penetrated it and contributed to her portrait. In her very high mind, this drawing is better than any piece of art that can be found in all of the museums littered around Piltover. “It’s beautiful.”

“Don’t mention it, you make it easy.”

“Should I make you one?”

“Are you good at drawing?”

“Not particularly.”

“Then probably not.”

“Good, because I really have to pee.”

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - February 7th

Social Cues Anon, 14 anon, avoidant anon (new), disclaimer anon (new), therapist anon, yourself anon, tired anon (new)

Social Cues Anon

Heyyy- it's social cues anon!

And first I want to say I am sorryyyy I didn't mean to offend or anything by the 'passing', thing, it was a description and Its mostly my English sucking and I couldn't find a better wording than that, and also I am dumb and couldn't think it would offend- I obviously would never say anyone anything about their appearance if they didn't ask, it's not my business after all, I am sorry again I want you to know I didn't have any bad thoughts about it and I understand I should be more considerate.

Anyway, I apologized! Like, really I managed! He was so cute and accepting- (it actually took me a lot time to be forgiven and I understand it but I suffered lol😭/jk) anyway, after I apologized and explained I used it as a gender neutral term and never once viewed him as a woman etc- he was sad because people usually questions him about his gender and he isn't mad at me bc I didn't mean it like that and all those (because why would I, he said he was a man and I don't understand how he can be something else? I never questioned it, I am surprised others did.) anyway, we are good I guess? (Btw I will call him sev bc I don't remember if I gave him a name or not here)

I saw him at a cafe and I apologized him there, and sadly I had to pay for his coffee too, here goes my last 5€- tbh best money I spent. I was all so nervous and excited and so worried I don't know how I survived.

if I manage to actually talk I want to ask him if he wants to go to an art exhibit he talked about before- but I don't know if it would be weird, like yes, he forgave me but I don't know if I should invite him. I obviously would pay for it and all, but what if he doesn't want to come but feels obligated to because we are recently on good terms? I am so nervous😭😭 I don't have any other people I know who wants to go to the art exhibit.

And off topic but my other friend (let's call her Sara) she acts weird? Like we were studying in the library as a group and she insisted on not sitting near sev, and made me sit near him. I don't understand, she was getting along with him a week ago? She started to do those often, like we were talking with Sara and Sev came and Sara suddenly left? And she talks to him just fine on the phone or when I am not around, I saw from videos (silly videos for memories).

So did I do something why she does that I don't understand- I feel sad because Sara and her girlfriend are my close friends and I really like sev like he is so cute and so full of life he is great, he loves a lot of cool things, easy to talk, and naturally I want to hang out with him and my friends too since they are friends with him but Sara just don't? I hope I didn't do anything.. but it's probably not my business.. but I am worried.

I am sorry if I did/said anything wrong I didn't mean to

Hi! Please don't apologize, I don't want you to feel bad I just wanted to make sure you know. I'm glad you and Sev are doing better! Honestly I think you should ask him! It sounds like a really fun date and he sounds like a really cool guy!.

As far as Sara...whatever she's up to, it's not about you. I honestly can't decide if she doesn't like Sev or if she can tell you like Sev and is trying to help. But either way, you didn't do anything wrong <3

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14 anon

Hi <3 I'm so sorry I didn't get to this sooner. Please let me know how you are! I hope your mom didn;t get mad? Also please remember that if you're truly scared of your mom, that's something to consider telling another adult. You shouldn't be afraid of your mom <3

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Avoidant Anon

Hey Cas! I hope you're well <3

I haven't really been on much, I opened this app like 30 minutes ago and saw your post and wanted to ask your thought or advice or anything at all because I'm gonna crash out soon if I don't get this out my chest.

So basically I don't know what to feel or do rn because my boyfriend's best friend seems like he has a crush on my bf and my bf sounds like he's having mixed feelings about him as well, when he told me he's been overthinking about his best friend and asked if he's giving "mixed signals" and said he wanna make sure he wasn't cheating on me and not hurting his best friend's feelings and also told me he doesn't know what he's feeling anymore which is sus to me but idk if I'm overthinking it and I'm confused as hell. He's also been distance and I'm giving him some space so he can deal with his feelings.

We've only been dating for a month and he's the first guy I've dated in like, 3 or 4 years because I stopped dating due to my avoidant attachment issues but I'm really healing for him and now this is all happening I have no idea what to feel or do and I don't wnana lose him to this because it's the first time I actually feel in love (if that make sense) and it's the first time I didn't run or feel uncomfortable when someone say they love/like me romantically. I am so confused and lost and I don't dare tell my friends about it because they'd definitely give the poor dude a hard time. I didn't expect my rant to be this long, I hope you don't mind😭

And Im so sorry if I confused you with my rant, I'm very confused as well🥹

Ty for reading this and I wish you the best <3

Hi <3 I completely understand why you're upset, I would be too! I think you're doing the best thing you can do- give him some space to figure his shit out. But also know that if this is too much for you, you have a right to tell him that and to break up with him. While I don't think he's doing anything wrong, it's still and upsetting and confusing situation, and you're allowed to not want to be in it.

I'm here for you and I'm sending you love. Keep me updated <3

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Disclaimer Anon

okay so disclaimer, i've identified as sapphic for a few years now so i'm not completely ignorant about the community and none of these questions are meant to be offensive i'm genuinely curious

i believe in the whole "sexuality and gender are fluid" and also "sexuality and gender aren't a choice, it's something we're born with" but they're actually a bit contradictory. like if it's something inherent, how can it change? i mean, you could say that you discovered a new part of yourself but like that explains identifying as pansexual after you've been going by bisexual because you're just expanding under the label of multisexuality and identifying as gay or lesbian after going by bisexual. but what about going from identifying as lesbian or gay or pansexual to identifying as bisexual? what about going from identifying as agender to trigender or another label under polygender?

I think for this, the idea is that even if things change, you can;t control how they change. Sexuality and gender are not a choice, you know? So even if your sexuality or gender changes over time, you don't decide that.

ik people can have like different romantic and sexual orientations but how? i don't mean it in the being aro but not ace (ace-spec is different from ace) and vice versa but being bisexual but homoromantic or being pansexual and biromantic like i kinda am confused about that

This is because people can be attracted to people in different ways than they want an emotional connection to people. Physical connection and emotional connection are different. For example, I'm finding that I can be attracted to any gender, but I really only can make emotional connections with non-men.

what's the whole concept of neopronouns and being a furry? i personally don't understand it but i'll respect it anyway but i want to try to understand it

Honestly, I'm not well-versed in either concept, either. I know neopronouns are just other pronouns besides she/he/they. People use them if those three do not feel right. But I don't know much more, nor do I know a lot about furries. But to me...if it's not hurting me or others, I respect it!

what's the whole he/him lesbian thing? disclaimer once again, i'm not hating but while i'm not completely ignorant about my own sexuality and it's definitions i'm also a bit unaware of certain things. like, by definition, lesbian means non men who like non men and i know he/him pronouns doesn't necessarily mean you identify as male but i'm still a bit confused about that? again, this is probably a bit ignorant of me but genderfluid people who like non men do fall under the category of lesbians right? but they also identify as men at times but again not always so i'm a bit confused

Honestly, I don't completely understand this one either. But again...it's not hurting anyone so I don't mind. I think labels and identities are so specific from person to person that as long as they're being genuinely used (not as a joke), that's totally within their right and I respect it.

i don't mean to offend or hate on anyone or question their right to identify as a certain label i'm just a bit confused and unaware of certain things

I don't think you're being offensive! It's okay to ask these questions! For the ones I don't know...honestly, if you can find someone with that identity willing to answer your questions, that might be your best bet.

If you have any more questions, feel free to send them! I'll do my best to answer!

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Therapist Anon

Hi cassssss

Therapist anon here, am I allowed to be happy?

Stupid question but anywaysss

Recently I did a 30 marker for sociology (which I was forced to take cos the school sucks) and it was my first one ever and I spent way too fucking long on it BUT!!!!! I got 25/30 AND on another question I got 6/6!!!!!!

Please accept my apologies if I seem to be gloating I'm just really happy cos I didn't gwt the best grade in the winter exam so....I'm juts happy with my progress :)

Okay have a great day you're the best MWAH

OF COURSE you can be happy! That's amazing, and you should be so proud! I'm proud of you!

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Yourself anon

Hi <3

Okay I want to make it clear: You are allowed to be very mad at your dad and still feel bad about what you did. Those two things don't have to rely on each other, they're separate situations. And it sounds like you have every right to be very mad at your dad. And I'm proud of you for telling him so.

But as far as what YOU did...I understand why you feel bad but it also sounds like it's not that simple. I'm nervous to say more because of the situation, but I really think you need to talk to someone about this. Do you have any trusted adult in your life you could share this with? I just know that all seems like it could be really confusing, but I think you're holding way too much guilt.

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Tired anon

Here's the beginning of your post!

Hello, I am so tired. I know I am being emotionally ridiculous but I really need to rant. First things first: I know I need therapy, it is expensive, I feel too bad for spending so much money on something that just generally doesn’t seem like it works for me. Two: I am using fake names so dw about privacy stuff, and at last three, I do curse a bunch in here, sorry, I usually try not to, but I am feeling very strongly rn and sometimes it just slips.

Hi <3

It sounds like you're going through a LOT right now and you're feeling overwhelmed. I think talking to your mom kind of depends on how things with her have been in the past. Is she usually receptive? If so, then yes, try it. If not, do you have another adult you can talk to?

Either way though, I really want to try to convince you to try therapy. I know it seems like a waste but I promise it's not. Not only that, but a lot of colleges offer it for free!

Also I want you to know that I know things feel crazy right now but I believe in you and I know you can do this. You are NOT a failure, and you're doing great.

Sending love <3

[slasher-kashing]

I am SCREAMING I CANT BELIEVE YOU WRITE ADDLEY A N D TAKE REQUESTS

Can you PLEASE write something about Addley?? Anything?? I can dm if you need ideas??

OF COURSE IM HONORED TO, I FUCKING LOVE ADDLEY.

Anyway, yes, he’s one of my favs, I constantly brain-rot about his crazy ass… feel free to request a fic :]

Also, next time, I’d love if you dropped your ideas <3

< Addley Koffin x Masc or NB Reader >

Drabble? Just some little Addley headcanons, not a full fic! And I write like a cartoon character inner monologue, just a heads up.

CW: Addley has a fucked up view of love/family dynamics, basic grungy awful slasher stuff, + fluff ?, nothing too bad

Addley Koffin likes having someone else to tell him what to do, if not, he gets stressed and starts raging. Throws shit, hollarin’ and carrying on… straight chaos. But, if he has that one person at his side at all times, I can GUARANTEE he may loose that frustrated edge.

That’s where I’m putting you dear reader, you can be his voice of reason! (In these little scenarios anyway :])

Addley would…

Be impulsive in most decisions he makes. Which is what got him in that damn hostage situation… yep. Then there was you, poor unsuspecting— mildly irritated— you.

He would…

In this theoretical scenario, possibly pick up on your difference in nature compared to your friends. (Not like other girls head ass.) The more analytical stance you take, trying to read him.. manipulate him. Which is quite easy to do.

He may…

Become attached to someone who seems unmoving, knows who they are, and their place in the world. Calm(mostly.), and can easily tell someone right from wrong. A rock in the storm, that’s the type of person I feel would attract our Addley Koffin ~

He would think about…

If you were that hostage, he’d most likely think of a way to please you, if anything. Looking to make you drop the scrutinizing look.. even if he could literally kill you, there’s that mental barrier for authority figures that his mother so graciously beat into his skull. (Literally.. probably. She scares me.)

He would…

Probably be your way out, with how fragile he mentally seems to be, if you could push those buttons— he may let you free… or… convince his mama to keep you. Just because he said so. He likes you? What’s the deal? Stop glaring at him like that, damn.

If somehow, miraculously, you ended up in his day to day life he would use you as his… magic 8-ball. He asks you how, or if he should do anything. No matter what it is, but he would word it a different way;

“Y’ think I should sharpen these? They’re gettin’ pretty dull for… y’know.. meat cutting..?”

“I think these curtains look a tad dingy, wanna change em’?”

“Ike made that damn lil art thing for ma, think I could do better..?”

Depending on your answer, is what his next actions would be. He may seem offended if you disagree, maybe start to argue— of course quickly shutting himself down once you give him a look. He respects you… maybe a little too much.

He’s a damn bootlicker. I don’t care what anyone says. <3

Feel free to drop your headcanons for this guy in my box, I’m obsessed with him right now :]