#man eats hotdogs with plain white bread for buns

[soaps-mohawk]

Which of the boys do you think can cook?? Do you think any of them have been like,, “banned” from cooking lmao??

I feel like I've answered this one before to, but once again, it also has disappeared into the void so I will answer again.

(I should really start keeping track of these things 😅)

Price and Gaz are definitely the best cooks.

Price has been a lot of places and learned a lot of things and probably knows how to make quite a few things. He also probably has to fend for himself quite a bit on missions so he's learned to feed himself and make it taste decent lol.

Gaz gives raised by women vibes, so of course he can cook. Maybe nothing super fancy, but he can follow a recipe and definitely knows how to make some things from scratch. Definitely enjoys it too.

Johnny I feel like knows a few recipes and can make those few really well. Struggles with new recipes and skills, but with time and patience he can figure it out. Plating skills are 10/10 though. Definitely has built a Dino nugget mashed potato volcano before.

Simon?

No.

[showfallmediamaintenance]

[Video transcript begin.]

[The recording is at upper chest height. As someone walks stealthily through the mall.]

?: Ugh. My arm is killing me…

[Voice identified: Edgar.]

[The man continues to walk through the mall. This carries on for 20 minutes before he notices someone.]

E: Oh my fucking god. 

[The person has blonde hair. And a white dress shirt on. He seems to be looking over the railing of the fourth floor of the mall.]

E: Hey! Asshole!

[The other man looks up. And his eyes widen. Before he adjusts his expression, turning it to a smile. Something about it looks off.]

?: Oh, wow! Look what the cat dragged in! You look like shit!

[Voice identified: Cassius.]

[Edgar approaches Cassius, who appears to be very smug.]

E: The fuck are you doing? Don’t you have anything better to be doing right now?

C: Honestly. No. I was just about to go to the grocery store to grab some hotdog buns, actually. Because I can leave the mall whenever the fuck I want. Unlike you.

E: What kind of hotdog buns do you buy.

C: What? Why do you need to know?

E: I bet you buy the individual ones that cost more to show off. 

C: … Shut the fuck up. No I don’t. 

E: God, you pretentious asshole! Of course you do!

C: I don’t, jackass! I buy the fucking gourmet ones! Whatever they’re fucking called!

E: Oh my fucking god dude, just buy the Wonderbread hotdog buns like the rest of us!

C: YOU BUY THE WONDERBREAD BUNS? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

E: I did not just hear a MURDERER ask me that. I could say the same to you!

C: At least I don’t eat fucking WONDERBREAD.

E: Your standards are royally fucked, you murderous prick. 

C: Go fuck yourself.

[Edgar takes his phone out of his pocket and places it on a surface. It is angled towards the two men. Their torso and upper body are visible. A large portion of the mall can be seen behind them. They both begin to lean closer as they argue.]

E: No, you go fuck yourself! Some people can’t afford the luxury five star fucking hotdog buns like you can, we have to make do! 

C: You could have fucking afforded the better hotdog buns, I’ve broken into your apartment before, the place is huge!

E: You think I pay rent on that place? No! I was still trying to get back on my feet after THIS FUCKING COMPANY kidnapped me and all of my assets were distributed according to my WILL.

C: THAT’S NOT MY– oh. No. It is my fault. A little bit. I was the one who took you.

E: YOU WERE THE ONE WHO–

C: Well. Maybe you deserved to be kidnapped! You use the fucking WONDERBREAD HOTDOG BUNS. THOSE THINGS ARE AWFUL AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT. 

E: They’re not even that bad!

C: I bet even if you could afford the better ones, you’d still buy the Wonderbread variety. I bet you fucking eat plain sliced white bread for fun!

[Their leaning while arguing has brought them forehead to forehead, their eyes full of… oddly intense rage.]

E: That was one time! One time only! And it was out of necessity!

C: I knew it! You literally eat plain white bread! 

E: Fuck you! I hope you trip into the road and get run over by a semi-truck!

C: I’m going to bash your head into a fucking table!

E: I’m going to cut you in half with a fucking chainsaw and sew the two halves back together fucking backwards!

C: I’ll use splinters of your fucking bones as toothpicks!

[As the two shout more and more absurd and bizarre death threats at each other, someone walks into frame, they stop, and stare at the scene a dozen feet away.]

C: I hope you choke and die on a slice of fucking Wonderbread.

E: Take your stupid shitty ass hotdog buns and shove ‘em up your ass, prick! 

C: I–

?: [Sounding distant, yet still loud.] Are you two kissing?

[Voice identified: Ophelia.]

[Edgar and Cassius both turn their heads to look at Ophelia, then at the phone, they both notice the light at the same time.]

E: Uh oh.

C: Uh oh indeed.

E: Has that thing been recording this whole time?

C: Likely.

[They turn their heads back quickly to each other. As they speak, they are barely audible.]

E:  Okay… we need a distraction. 

C: Yep. We need to draw attention away from… this. 

E: I feel like we have the same idea.

C: Mhm. 

E: Let’s just get this over with.

[Edgar reaches around the back of Cassius’ head, and pulls him in. Their lips meet, and Ophelia shrieks in surprise. At the same time, Alexander skates by on his rollerskate legs, glancing to the side and falling over at the sight. Several other shrieks are heard from other PR members, as the office appears to be stationed right across from where the two men are currently kissing.]

O: OH MY GOD! CASS! I WAS JOKING!

[The two pull away, both looking a little disgusted with themselves. Cassius wipes his mouth on his sleeve, and Edgar turns away and sticks his tongue out, pretending to gag.]

C: Why the fuck did we do that. 

E: I don’t fucking know.

C: Did we even need to draw attention away? That was entirely unnecessary.

E: It was. You’re shit at kissing, by the way.

C: [Offended.] Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Kissing Expert! Was the sleep deprived, hastily improvised kiss not good enough for you?

E: I’m just saying, maybe with 300 years or so of practice, I feel like you’d be a little fuckin’ better at it.

C: I’m usually better at it! God, I hate you. 

E: Feeling is mutual, jackass. Fuck you.

C: Hey, at least take me out to di–

E: DO NOT. TAKE THAT AS SOMETHING ELSE. DIE.

[Cassius turns to look at Ophelia, who is holding xer hand over their mouth.]

C: So… you should probably go.

E: Yeah. I should. Bye.

C: Bye.

[Edgar grabs his phone, and begins sprinting, he turns the transcript off as he runs.]

[Transcript end.]