#many ways to vent it out. exercise. pain. blood. snacking on cereal. you know. the normal things you do when you feel like this
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#tag talk#idk. I never really felt like I fit the category of full blown mania. reading people's stories on reddit I never felt like I matched#like. maybe it's my obsession with rigid self control that always kept me from doing the most extreme things I wanted to do.#but plenty of things I've done and I guess still do are considered extreme by normies so like.. kind of?#feels like another one of those “similar enough to match. different enough to not belong” things.#idk. I'm finally hand washing dishes that have been sitting on our kitchen counter for two months. because I have the energy now.#it's like an engine driving inside of me. constantly building up pressure up and up and up and up and up#and if I don't vent that pressure I feel my steel carapace start to flex and groan as bolts distribute pressure onto their flat washers.#like my skin courses with energy that if I don't vent off I'll burn up with the sheer intensity of heat.#many ways to vent it out. exercise. pain. blood. snacking on cereal. you know. the normal things you do when you feel like this#ahhh I haven't felt like this in so long though it's nice I want to unhinge my jaw like a snake and swallow all the air in the world.#I bet it feels good as fuck to be a huge serpent devouring the world
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