#maybe it's just the odypenisms. and penelope. and knowing how long she's waited and how much she's still willing to wait

[lovinggreeniehours]

i don't know what anna and jorge put in that penelope song but dear fuck it is making me cry

[garden-of-rambles]

Some Odysseus/Odypen headcanon ramblings that have been on my mind while writing my fic:

So one of the tags on my story is ‘Odysseus is touched starved’ and for me it feels like such a natural conclusion about his character in general, and the way he interacts with Penelope.

Like, he became King at thirteen, when his dad was in the process of losing himself entirely. He had to "be the man of the house" and take care of everyone else around him, even those that originally would have taken care of him, like his father, or his mother who was preoccupied helping care for her husband/and would know that Odysseus had to step forward as a man sooner than he should have. And of course his younger sister was always someone that he helped take care of, not the other way around.

He is never just Odysseus after that, even among those who are considered close to him. He is King. He is Captain. He is the one who leads and looks after those in his care, and if that means there's no one to do that for him, well...he just gets used to it. He ignores the longing for it that remains, crawling beneath his skin and twisting in his stomach. It's not like he has a choice. That doesn't mean his family or friends didn't try to help, but once Odysseus took on those roles he couldn't be the one seeking comfort, the one needing care or instruction. So many of the comforting and loving touches he had received during childhood just lessen and lessen until they hardly happen at all. He is the man of the house. He is King. He is Captain. He is the one who offers assurance, not the one who needs it. Sometimes there are pats on the shoulder, or brief embraces, but he is usually the one giving them. And it's nice, always, that momentary contact, but they're not ones he wants to linger in. The idea of anyone else reciprocating is...uncomfortable, like clothing that chafes, because this is his role, who he is, what he must define himself by.

Then, of course, he meets Penelope. And the desire for touch is utterly overwhelming. Not just in a sexual way -- though there certainly is that -- but in every way.

The first time, it's such an incidental moment, perhaps only a second or two of contact. They had been talking at night beneath their olive tree -- a name he had already begun to call it by in his mind after just a few meetings -- and he had been in the middle of saying something, telling a story, likely just to make her laugh. But he couldn't say what he'd been talking about, because while he's mid-sentence -- without thought, as if it were the most natural thing to do -- Penelope reaches over, and pulls a twig with some olive leaves from his hair. He hadn't even noticed it caught there, but the barest brush of her fingers makes him speechless. He forgot whatever he had been saying, even as Penelope eyed him in confusion, waiting for him to finish, but he can't, because the only words that would come from his mouth would be him asking her to do that again.

It gets worse after that, but in a way he doesn't want to stop.

He craves it. More than food or water. Maybe even more than the air he breathes. Wanting to touch her he understood, and it was an equal desire that left him constantly stopping himself during the early days of their courtship, when touching where others could see would only get them in trouble. Still, his hands itch to move toward her, to guide her arm or thread her fingers through his, to hold her and kiss her and then do far more indecent things. But how much he needs her to touch him is the surprise, and one he is not prepared for, cannot be prepared for. As they grow closer and it happens more and more, it's as if his need only increases, and it's so strong he doesn't know what to do with it except try to hold it back, as if afraid that somehow this craving would consume them both if he let it.

Penelope notices, of course. She notices everything. It was one of the first things he loved about her.

When she asked if he didn't want her to touch him, for a wild moment he wanted to laugh and cry. Thousands of words get tangled in his throat, all of them inadequate to describe how he not only wants her touch, always, but needs it.

"I want it," He finally can manage. "More than you know."

She nodded, and when she looked at him again with a little smile and a cunning glint in her eyes, he realized her first question had been meant only to reveal this. To get him to admit it.

She tricked him. It left him stunned, dizzy, awed. Somehow more in love with her than he had already been.

"Then do not deprive yourself," She replied, smiling wider. "Or me."

He couldn't, after that. And never was able to again.

sooo uhhhh being touched starved definitely didn't get worse after being away from his wife and son for so long, no no why do you ask??? Its not like the ache of being away from the only people he feels he can be vulnerable around feels like it's actually killing him some days, nope, definitely not.

Anyways, this is something I'm really trying to get across in my own fic, because it just feels so true to his character for me, so I had to word vomit about it for a bit.

[dootznbootz]

Do you have any Penelope fic recommendations ?

I'd love to read some stories about Penelope interacting with Laertes, Ctimene, Euryclea or take care of poor Anticlea.

Or maybe about Penelope as a queen, her responsibilities and feelings (other than waiting for Odysseus ofc).

OR Penelope with Athena ! That'd be so awesome too !

Heck even Penelope and Telemachus deserve to be explored more.

Or maybe something about her parents, her naiad mother and her sister Iphtime.

Because OdyPen is awesome and all, best couple, but like you said in your post, the water queen needs to be explored more !

She so does need to be explored more!!! ;~;

Like it's literally my favorite thing. I have basically her whole life planned out (alongside Helen's as they are very close in mine (along with Menelaus, Pollux, and Castor. They were a weird ragtag group of kids.) and I love her to bits!!! Like, yeah, she "technically" has less moments than Odysseus in the Odyssey and with her stress, that changes things but there is SOO much there to play with!!! AND THAT'S JUST WITH THE ODYSSEY

The sneeze of death? All her prayers for the suitor's doom? Her sassing Telemachus when he doesn't spill the beans right away? "You bold and brazen bitch!" to Melantho? LIKEMINDED?! You know how fun it is while writing to always be thinking about how two characters constantly mirror one another? SO MUCH FUN!!! slkdfj

she's so silly and I love her so much lksdfj

so like, I'm working on fics right now (so many wips ;~; ) but I have two of mine out where I hopefully do a good job of characterizing her. It's my main goal honestly to make her the most fleshed out character out of everyone.

Scraps - Silly OdyPen oneshot but I do characterize her a lot in it. (some of this isn't "canon" to Dootzverse anymore as this was my first fic and when I was kind of planning things out)

Worth the Mess - OdyPen Sickfic mostly from Odysseus POV but rest assured, you will know a lot about my lil shit Water Wife. Like a lot about her. Probably too much lol (remember this silly lil moodboard I did for her? Yeah. It'll make sense. I really get silly with Penelope.)

Here's a few fics that like, give her some focus (but still very "odypen", I haven't really browsed fics in a while though (I won't lie, I'm pretty picky with characterization. ;~; even some of my fave fics make me raise my brow sometimes. like if they make it seem as though Penelope would kind of blame him for the goddesses or see it as cheating And if I see Diomedes in the tags, I'm out :P and I don't like excessive whump or angst really. ) I should probably look around again lol.)

Take Courage, My Heart - lil bit of Penelope's thoughts as they reunite. short and sweet.

The Long Way Home - A short and poetic kind of view into her feelings over the years.

I fear from the Path (that leads me to you) - Not really Penelope centered but it's sweet and cute :)

Mother Rages - Probably the most Penelope focused one and very fun. Talking about her anger about the Suitors.

Those are the ones I know of :') (though as I said, I have not browsed in a while, there's probably more! Hopefully!)