#me except I DO make it because I'm BUILT DIFFERENT (also in a pretty privileged position in my life rn)

[reactionimagesdaily]

[llendrinall]

I'm with you on how terrible we found Fantastic Beasts. Now let me ask, how would you have written/built the Fantastic Beasts storyline?

I have not watched the 3rd movie so it’s possible that they have managed to turn it all around, but to start with I would give some actual connection to the movies beyond the title and characters. Otherwise it just feels like those children books: “X goes to the park”, “X in the supermarket”, where we see the same people in different situations but they are disconnected from each other.

I probably would have gone a different route all together, but suppose Warner has already hired the actors and started building the sets so we must use at least some elements from the movies. In that case I would make a story of discovery and reflection in three parts, with narcissism being the main theme.

First movie

Newt goes to NY with his magical bag. Most of the film is the same, but we get a sense of Newt being less childish (less painfully obvious and thinly surreptitious wand waving around muggles) and a bit more selfish. However, we should like him more for it.

Newt is, to the society of the time, completely mental. Rather than going on hunts and collecting trophies, he is recuing animals! I would emphasize that the animals he keeps have been compromised and can’t be safely returned to their habitats and since conditions and wizarding zoos are deplorable, he keeps them with him. The exception is that thunder bird he has come to release.

And that’s his goal, releasing the thunder bird, which he pursues with extreme focus. He doesn’t care about anything else which is why he is so open to Jacob the Muggle. Newt could be imprisoned* and Jacob would be obliviated into a stupor, but Newt doesn’t care about personal risks so he doesn’t care about the danger he poses to others. He is selfish that way. A generous kind of selfishness, sure, but dangerous.

I’m sorry, but the President of the MACUSA is not a woman nor a POC. It must be a white man surrounded by white men, one of whom might be either Catholic or Jewish and that’s all the diversity you see. Are there POC wizards? Yes. But not in positions of power. There is a bigger emphasis on the separation of wizards and No-Maj, with waaay more surveillance and harsher punishments. Suspicion alone may be enough to break your wand in some cases.

* And that’s how I could believe that POC wizards and witches (WWs from now on because “magicals” sounds weird) aren’t intervening in muggle spaces. They must be suffering similar levels of racism. They are tolerated, maybe they have better prospects that POC muggles, but that’s it. I can’t believe none of them would show some solidarity to the Non-Maj, unless it meant being summarily executed.

(Oh, and there would be this scene in which we see law-abiding and conscientious Tina stalking the house of an African-American muggle family. Nothing is said of it, other that Tina used to work with a muggle-born partner but now she works alone. Keen-eyed viewers will notice some hoodo trinkets in Tina’s flat, and a photograph of Tina with an African American woman, and then we will know).

I don’t remember Credence’s storyline very well, but it doesn’t matter. What is important is that Graves (powerful white man Graves) develops some sort of empathy. He doesn’t want it, but it’s there in his heart now. Maybe something with Newt’s animals. Some “beast” (look at how they say beasts and not animals) should have maimed and eaten Graves, but doesn’t because Newt is there in all his animal-loving glory. Graves gets to see the monster as merely a scared and hurt animal and learns to treat others with some decency and kindness.

That would be a nice classic movie, (prejudiced man gets over himself), but we can’t end it here. I would even allow for Tina’s scene stalking the house to be cut in order to have time for the climax: the moment when Graves realizes his society and his government may not always be right and defies direct orders by helping Credence. As I said, I don’t remember what the deal with Credence was, but Graves fixes it. There will be a personal cost to his career, but losing a promotion is nothing compared to saving a life, which is what he does. No ambiguous explosion or cloud of smoke. Credence is evidently and irrevocably safe at the cost of Graves being demoted.

There is no Gellert Grindelwald whatsoever, except maybe some government secretary mentioning they like that guy from Europe.

Second movie

Set in London rather than Paris. Newt receives the visit from a lovely, lovely, gentleman who, as it turns out, doesn’t think Newt is a fool. The charming gentleman asks Newt about the dragons, specifically the ones in Gringotts and oh, oh, Newt is against it. It’s abominable and unethical. But Newt would rather not think too much about it because, what can he do? He would rather focus on helping those he can and on spreading his thoughts on animal conservation. He is publishing a journal, although he admits it doesn’t do too well. He has twelve subscribers and seven of them openly mock his papers during dinner parties.

The charming gentleman says, but what if Newt could do something about it? What would Newt be willing to do? Would he break the law?

Newt laughs. He is forbidden from leaving the country. He is no stranger to jumping, crossing, tampering or breaking the law.

Marvelous! The charming gentleman reveals that he, like Newt, is unhappy with their society. It is weak and corrupt* and someone must do something about it. They have to fix it.

So the charming gentleman introduces Newt to some other like-minded friends and together they plan a heist to get into Gringotts and release the dragons. It is time to build a society one can feel proud of!

We get the heist, which is clever and delightful. The charming gentleman is brave, smart and powerful with his magic. There is a moment when some of the co-conspirators, and even the charming gentleman himself, get inside some vaults. This is not what they had planned! Not at all. But the charming gentleman assures Newt that he has good reasons.

They get out. And here comes the Nagini moment. Meaning I really, really, really, don’t need to see an Asian woman condemned to whatever that was in the second movie. I don’t need to have beautiful Neville kill a woman who has been turned into a snake and then a Horcrux.

But, do you want an “oh no” moment? Here it comes.

Because of the heist, Gringotts revises their security measures. That poor dragon in Deathly Hallows? The one with scars who had been conditioned to fear a certain sound? Newt’s fault. And the charming gentleman doesn’t care.

We have established in the previous movie that Newt is somewhat selfish and short-sighted. He rejects his society and cares only about his animals which is very nice. Newt is well intentioned, but that is not enough. Not caring about politics is the privilege of those in the elite (and despite Newts’ eccentricities he is very much the elite). The previous movie had Graves’ awakening. The man discovering something about himself in this movie is Newt.

Newt realizes that he must be an active participant in society. Sadly, he only realizes it after he has helped Gellert Grindelwald steal a number of very important artefacts as well as some gold to fund his project to reform Europe.

The epilogue of the movie has Albus Dumbledore visiting Newt, telling him not to be too hard on himself because he, Dumbledore, also fell for Gellert lies. And if Newt wants to do something about it, Dumbledore has some ideas.

* History fans might not realize immediately, but hopefully they will catch on the fact that all of the beautiful arguments from the charming gentleman are about weakness of the state, which is a common fascist trope.

Third movie

In which characters from previous movies are brought back without having to completely destroy their personalities.

Graves is in Europe and he pays a visit to Newt to ask for his help. Graves is using his new found empathy (that he didn’t want) to investigate a series of highly suspicious murders and incidents. The victims were all Latinas so it was dismissed, but Graves thinks there is something.

Two scenes later in comes Tina, who has quitted her job in order to track the murderer of some friend’s friend. An African American child is dead, no it was not the No-Maj, it was someone else, someone who wanted to cover their tracks and leave no witnesses and Tina is going to eat their heart.

Is it possible that Graves and Tina are after the same person? Yes and no. It is two different henchmen but Dumbledore has no trouble going beyond the small picture to see the pattern. He knows Grindelwald always had an interest in powerful artefacts, not just the Deathly Hallows.

Grindelwald has stolen the Macguffin, a powerful artefact belonging to a Latin-American community. With that and the Elder Wand he will be unstoppable. Oh no!

But! Newt realizes there is something missing. The raven is not a symbol of death in all cultures. Grindelwald might not fully understand what he has taken or how to use it.

So Graves and Tina go fight Grindelwald’s organization and be awesome together, delaying Grindelwald’s big coup. Meanwhile, Newt illegally leaves the country, goes back to NY, takes Queenie and deploys her. Because Queenie is nice. She plays the vapid pretty woman, but she is above all nice and if someone can make a hurt and distrustful community open their door to strangers, it is going to be Queenie with the help of Jacob’s bread.

And, indeed! They succeed. The bruja Latina explains about the Macguffin. Grildelwald doesn’t understand what he has stolen. It is not meant to be used like that at all.

They go back to Europe quickly, Newt relays this information to Dumbledore and he steps to his duel with Grindelwald armed with the knowledge and insight that comes from showing some measure of respect to other people for once.

(And if it seems that Dumbledore’s victory rests on other people’s work, well, Dumbledore’s main trait is his ability to earn people’s trust and devotion. But I guess Newt and Queenie could have brought the bruja with them and after a nice chat with Dumbledore she agrees to share their secrets with him, so he has the opportunity to show he is different).

Rather than having a man realize something, this movie is about the consequences of not opening your eyes: Gindelwald’s fall. It would also nicely establish Dumbledore’s best manipulative traits. If we must have het couples, Tina saves Newt’s from some mook and taker a kiss. Graves goes with the pretty Lestrange, I guess, to have a long life of morality sanctioned crimes.

(A TV show. Twelve episodes. Cancelled after the first season. Graves and Lestrange are back in the States helping oppressed communities and dodging the MACUSA and whatever the equivalent of the FBI was back then).