#me: TEE HEE time to write some angst! ^w^ !

[celestialvexation]

“Life is a god damn ocean and I have no idea how to swim.” for Brent/Vern 🥺 for me ❤️

after what we've talked about.... it rlly makes you wonder! ( ´･_･`) and anything for you, friendo ❤️❤️❤️

Thunder rumbled outside, the rain beating against the window with such ferocity that Vernias was concerned that the glass might crack or shatter. The forecast had predicted a storm or two for the day, but he didn't know that it was going to be this severe. He heard what sounded like hail, and the wind made the house shook with every howl as lightning flashed in the sky. He watched as it illuminated Brent's impassive features, though Vernias could sense the storms that raged within like the one outside.

"Brent...?" There's a soft sigh, but the man didn't turned to him. In his hands was Piplup, the plush staring back with its featureless expression. Vernias had hoped that it could elicit a chuckle or even a smile ( however broken it may look ) from Brent.

Instead...

"You ever feel like that, Vern?" A question is given rather than an answer.

Vernias's eyes drifted until they landed on the wall next to them. He remained silent, which encouraged Brent to continue. "Where it feels like no matter how many times you've been given the praises and compliments and assurances... It's never enough? Every single time you hear it, it ends up sounding like....like shit. Like white noise." His voice rumbled with the thunder outside, the younger man shifting on the bed so he's sitting at the edge with his head lowered.

He could understand; truly, he could! Vernias wanted to help him, to save him from the raging waters that threatened to drown Brent no matter how many times he's reached out to him. Even if Brent would turn away or sometimes reject the help needed, it never deter Vernias. If anything, it only meant that he had to try again and again. His neck suddenly throbbed with a dull ache, but Vernias ignored it in favor of clutching at his sweatpants.

"It's never too late, Brent," Vernias replied with a humorless chuckle. "You and I both know that. It just takes time for-"

A sudden crash startled him. He barely looked up in time to see Piplup now sliding along the table then tumbling to the ground. Whatever items that were on the table have now fallen over, clattering to the ground to join the plush. Vernias turned towards Brent, who stared at the Pokemon with a hollow stare.

"No, Vernias. You don't fucking know. How many times do I have to tell you that. That's the one thing about you -- you just don't fucking stop. Our ass is not listening? How about yours?!" Brent turned towards him, his features now menacing in the dimmed lighting thanks to the storm clouds. "How would you like it if you're sitting there, just sitting there, and you have this...this force just constantly following after you? It never leaves, it doesn't really do anything... But it's there. It's there, and it keeps watching your every move and you don't want to piss it off. You can't even breathe normally around it!

And then it...starts to affect with how you make friends. if you can make them at all. By then, it's all too much for you!" Brent shot up to his feet, hands sliding up his face then clutching at his short hair. His eyes went back to the fallen Pokemon, vision slightly blurring but he assumed that his eyes settling to the darkness.

"I just... I just can't fucking do it, bro! I see you guys having fun. I see that you're all worried about me and it's just... God, I hate it. I hate living like this. I hate every single moment because it's like... It's like..." Brent heaved out a sigh, his chest expanding further out then collapsing in a heap. "Life is a goddamn ocean, and I have no idea how to swim. I'm drowning, Vernias..!"

During this, Vernias was completely silent. His eyes, wide as a deer in headlights, pierced straight into Brent's heart where it quivered and stilled for a solid minute. "...I'm drowning," he repeatedly, softer this time as he made his way over to kneel in front of him. Tears fell down his cheeks and his senses made him acutely aware of the howling winds and battering hail against the fragile glass instead of the strong, warm arms tightly embracing him.

Brent's hands clutched at Vernias's shirt like a lifeline despite this. He wept as he brokenly uttered out, "...You wouldn't even hear me."