#messers croup and vandemar

[roxas-von-einzbern]

Welcome back to "Unuseful headcanons about Neverwhere 's Old Firm part 3(?)"!

One of Mr. Croup's hobbies is prestidigitation, especially if done with razors and, surpisingly, cards. He's also a master pickpocketer.

Mr. Vandemar can remeber literally everything he has seen/heard/done etc. He could descibe you in every detail every Old Firm's torture session that happened in the VI century A.C.E.

[roxas-von-einzbern]

Shoutout to Neil Gaiman for creating Mr. Croup and Mr. Vandemar

my favorite trope is pair of freaks who are extremely devoted to one another (usually not explicitly romantic) but also terrifying in their capacity to commit heinous acts. also i like when they have weird unspecified super powers that make them better at killing

[roxas-von-einzbern]

Here we have a couple of headcanons for Neverwhere's Old Firm regarding food/drinks that nobody asked for:

Mr. Croup doesn't care much about food, unlike Mr. Vandemar. He has a predilection for meat, yes, but his real passion is tea. Tea preparation is actually maybe his only harmless hobby, and is knowledgeable in the tea ceremonies of many cultures. His favourite? Bergamot with exactly one (1) drop of milk and so much sugar to rot instantly a normal person's teeth.

Mr. Vandemar was quite fond of the meat pies sold in a certain pie shop under another certain barber shop. Too bad that place closed down after it was discovered that the meat used was human in nature. Truth be told, Mr. Vandemar could tell it at the first bite, and that made him like them even more.

[roxas-von-einzbern]

I know that in the microscopic Neverwhere fandom Mr. Croup and Mr. Vandemar are often considered gay and I do not necessarily dissent, but in my headcanon they're both aroace mainly for these reasons:

Ace, aro and aroace people exist and should be celebrated too;

While reading Neverwhere I had the impression that our favorite murderous fellows have no problem with torturing to death the first poor soul they come across in the streets simply beacause they're bored, but would be utterly nauseated by whatever mention of any kind/aspect of love.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

[roxas-von-einzbern]

So, I made a dream in wich I was watching a Ghibli-styled animated adaptation of Neverwhere. It opened with the scene of Door being chased by Croup and Vandemar, with Dinasties and dystopia as the soundtrack. Then I woke up. Imagine the disappointment.

[roxas-von-einzbern]

As I already mentioned to you, I have many theories on the subject... but nowadays I've come to this conclusion:

Once upon a time there were a fox and a wolf. They met, discovered that they had in common the love for murder, death and destruction and never parted ways since.

That pretty much sums up the important bits, but this doesn't mean I still wouldn't like a clear answer.

I want to know so badly what in the name of all that is holy Mr Croup and Mr Vandemar are.

I'm very sure they cannot exist on their own without the other.

The seem human, but they don't have blood, and eat so many fucked up things, and heal too easily, and don't seem to hurt ever.

Their entire purpose seems to be killing. They are probably very, very ancient. They are very bound to their contracts (well, at least by honour). They belong to the Underside but they can move through the Upside just as well.

They are fucked up in so many ways. They are fascinating in so many different way. Peak character design, really, they're terrifying - but what are they??