#might do some new posts with some presentations of all of them it's been so long
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having an idea for a game but it's miles above your skill level

#personal#elevator pitch: point and click 2d art-heavy narrative driven game. mc is a scientist in a closed off laboratory in a post apocalyptic worl#player plays as the mc going through a daily routine consisting of taking care of a few patients that are dying of#the zombie plant esque disease that has wiped out humanity. working towards breakthrough day. on which they should#hopefully have managed to recreate the exact circumstances in which patient zero got turned#in hopes to reverse engineer it into a cure#solving puzzles along the way to open up new locations within the labs to piece together what exactly went wrong in the first place#and like!!!!!!!! i know i could do this. realistically i know i could put a game like this together but it's just#the dev heavy stuff that is stopping me because well i am just a game artist JHDGJFDKGJDFGKFDG#all the patients are in different stages of infection and it's all affecting them differently because of different variables#only one of the patients is actually fully lucid and can be spoken to on the daily#but then on breakthrough day they end up taking their own life JUST like patient zero did exactly a year ago#and it turns out that despite showing little symptoms on the outside the plants were taking root inside of them#which has been foreshadowed through earlier gameplay with the patient feeling itchy but not being able to scratch the itch#and on breakthrough day the flowers inside of them bloomed... and it was unbearable so they used the gun that they took#a year ago from patient zero's body (their colleague) to end it all. and THAT is what ends up turning them into a plant zombie#and the player has been working towards getting into the labs where it all started to find patient zero's body and like#get access to the logs of their last few days. and after the patient in the present has passed they listen to the logs#while the credits roll. and patient zero describes very similar symptoms in the logs. and they also couldn't have been saved#ig the patients in this could be some sort of metaphor for like. how illness doesn't always come with (the same) symptoms for everyone#and how even if it's not visible on the outside someone might be struggling a lot etc etc. something in that direction#anyway hi does anyone here see my vision. do you understand what i'm going for. anyway yes i hope i can make it reality one day
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Loving these two new costumes I got. Idrilain with the returning Mercymother's Attire and Rihla with the new Wizard About Town that's finally arrived <3
#eso#elder scrolls online#my OCs#idrilain avani#rihla avani#games#i love using wizard style fashion for Rihla like the Antiquarian Robes costumes and the Nibenese Court Wizard style#Idrilain usually has more casual adventuring type fashion or Dunmer themed fashion like the Ancestral Homage Gown#but she pretty much has something taliored to each zone and I do like putting her in more sexy/cool outfits as well for certain occasions#also i have a lot of thoughts about all of my ESO characters (especially the dunmer and bosmer ones) so don't be afraid to ask about them#might do some new posts with some presentations of all of them it's been so long
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Top 24 of 2024
Well, well, well, look what we have here. If it isn’t 52 weeks’ worth of data drawn from the exemplary original posts you’ve been producing day in, day out, combined with the likes, reblogs, and search data—all of it weighed, ranked, and presented here for your viewing pleasure. In news that will come as a shock to no one at all, 2024 was the year of Artists on Tumblr. But quite right, too, as just a cursory scroll through the fanart, illustrations, digital pieces, paintings, textiles, and more will attest. It’s a goldmine. But this ain’t just any goldmine, this is your goldmine, and we’ve got abundant gratitude for the wonderful work you’ve shared this last year.
Dungeon Meshi won hearts and minds with its cozy feel, its cookery, its cast of eclectic, likable characters, and a delightfully off-center vibe. Farcille made for the sapphic love story we didn’t know we needed—and the inspiration for endless, exquisite fanart. There was much appreciation for season one, and excitement abounds for season two. But there were endings as well as beginnings, sadly, as the much-loved Jujutsu Kaisen brought six years of sublime storytelling to a close with Chapter 271. Good faced Evil, a nephew faced an uncle, and some really liked it, and others really did not. Discourse ensued, as discourse is wont to do.
Television! And lots of it! 2024 was the year in which animation ruled supreme with an embarrassment of riches to plunder. Gravity Falls and The Book of Bill became your fall fixations and simply refused to stop trending for seemingly an age (a Good Thing). Bill Cipher and Stanford Pines both made the Top 24 in their own right as you shipped them to high hell, with Billford coming top of Ships for 2024. Speaking of Hell, Hazbin Hotel was the new kid on the block. And, after a five-year wait, the new kid charmed—it was filthier, funnier, raunchier, and more heartfelt than you could have hoped for.
When it comes to hope, the times continue to be challenging, and the news can threaten to overwhelm. 2024 was no different. But you all painted the dash every color of the rainbow, stood loud and proud, and supported your ever-growing community online and offline in the struggle for LGBTQIA+ rights. While folks continue to voice their distress and concern for the ongoing crisis in Palestine, they also fight the good fight with activism and fundraising efforts across the dash. These may be dark days, but you all work tirelessly for the greater good as only you know how.
Looking after oneself is vital in these trying times, and you’ve all done just that in your own inimitable fashion. Cats still rule Tumblr as bears still poop in woods, and everyone has taken essential time to peruse the dashboard’s plethora of cat GIFs, cat art, boopin’ cats, cats of yore, and so on. You’re keeping things similarly wholesome with some more Tumblr mainstays: cottagecore, and its sister aesthetic, naturecore, imagine a simpler, greener, and quieter time. A time where the breeze billows softly through the long grass and gently turns the blades of the windmill; a time where we, too, might poop in woods.
The only thing more important than looking after oneself is treating oneself, and what better way to do that than gaming? Baldur’s Gate 3 made a most impressive leap from #21 last year to #7 in 2024, as the need for sexy monsters and beautiful beasties becomes ever more imperative with each passing year. Pokémon may have dropped a little from five to 11, but these games and shows still hold a dear place in your hearts—as demonstrated by your bountiful and beautiful fanart.
Here are the 24 most-mentioned things on Tumblr in 2024.
Artists on Tumblr
Palestine
Dungeon Meshi
Gravity Falls
Hazbin Hotel
Baldur's Gate 3
Cats of Tumblr
Jujutsu Kaisen
The Batman Universe
Pokémon
One Piece
Good Omens
Marcille Donato | Dungeon Meshi
Laios Touden | Dungeon Meshi
Cottagecore
Hermitcraft
LGBTQIA+
Bill Cipher | Gravity Falls
Naturecore
Doctor Who
Percy Jackson
Falin Touden | Dungeon Meshi
Stanford Pines | Gravity Falls
Jason Todd | the DC universe
Feeling inspired? Want to create a dedicated place to discuss the things you love with the other people who love them? Create a Community here on Tumblr to do just that.
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mclaren masterlist!



oscar piastri
false starts and unthinkable mistakes Oscar comes to you at the end of a bad race
debuts and podiums how oscar celebrates after your first race, and first win.
mishaps online oscar accidentally posts a nude online the night before your big concert and launch. oops.
red flag you get in an accident on track
the disgraced pop princess oscar is your salvation after things so horribly wrong
-> his disgraced pop princess oscar is there for you through your first real GP weekend and everything else, of course
my girl fans made a youtube compilation of oscar and you being in love since your prema days.
slip-up oscar slips up about your wedding
pointe shoes and racecars you and oscar had grown up together, and grown apart. now you're teaching him ballet for a mclaren video. will you two reconnect?
family fights you and oscar were never meant to be together, lando made that clear. one night changes everything, then another changes it again.
accident prone oscar comes home one night hurt, how do you deal with it?
bad day you had an awful day, but at least you're coming home to him.
Stoic much? oscar might be too good at the whole 'keeping a secret' thing. like, really good.
wallflowers like flowers too you never thought you'd find love, especially not with your best friend at his sister's wedding.
chancer Can he figure out who you are at the masquerade ball before you leave forever?
mark my words mark (webber) 'slips up' about your marriage.
nothing bad! the sprint pisses you off, ted's notebook catches you at a bad time, you say some things, oscar posts some things, and it ends up being one of the most popular ad campaigns in history. oops.
quick tweet, big problem you and oscar are together, but the world doesn't need to know you're engaged. lando decides they do.
knowing me, knowing you you're a broadway star, and oscar has to know everything about a topic for the 'anything but F1' segment. win-win when his girlfriend is in the public eye.
gymming oscar doesn't want you going to the gym
then we can breaking up sucks.
first kisses being jack wolff's nanny is a pretty sick gig, especially when your old friend is an f1 driver and is interested in you...
-> first dinners being jack wolff's nanny is a pretty sick gig... only when your boss (/ father figure) isn't trying to interrogate your new boyfriend. (18+)
-> vampire oscar gets a new nickname...
guilt tripping oscar asks something of you that you know you can't do. you do it anyway and it ends in you two almost breaking up. almost.
farm girl what's a better way to a guys attention than shouting at him for being too slow?
sweating oscar has been acting strange
mixup oscar gets a bit jelly when you and franco get close
guilty oscar gets a bit worried about you when you start overworking yourself
get through it oscar's there for you after you loose your mom.
the trouble with racing at the first race of the season, oscar figures something out that could change his life forever.
-> different the differences are starting to show ow that oscar is going to be present in mia's life, and in turn, yours. -> the fuck up the silence has become loud in the mclaren garage now they're back from their week-long break. what's making oscar so miserable? lando wants to get to the bottom of it... -> miami blues for some reason he took lando's advice, it doesn't go horribly... kinda
marriage talk oscar answers random questions for mclaren's instagram, not once did he think it would take him down this road...
family game night family game night in the off-season
hab oscar's experience of being your mechanic, and you winning on his birthday
new meetings oscar is terrified for you to meet his family, funnily enough, you already know a few of them...
kind man the aftermath of the australian grand prix...
birthday boy no one likes to be disappointed on their birthday
all roads lead home oscar misses you while your gone
the oscars you bring your own oscar to the oscar's!
expecting the unexpected saudi arabia and oscar piastri mix well.
dear god 2 years after he's seen you, and you're still both thinking the same thing... (18+)
sunscreen oscar isn't jealous, but he's not not jealous either. you remind him why he has no reason to be
baby fever you say something, and it tips his world upside down
lando norris
mistakes the aftermath of the Hungarian gp
family issues lando (and his mum) are there for you during a difficult time.
catch-up lando after monza
the break up of the century you and lando break up on horrible terms, could a new album and a special performance bring you tow back together?
making moves Lando and you don't exactly get along and now you're quitting, he'll surely take it well, right?
misguided mishaps One bed between you and your brother's best friend… what could go wrong? (18+)
was it casual? the seriousness of your relationship wasn't exactly clear... leading to unforseen circumstances... (18+)
3 minutes lando overshoots an overtake, and you go off the track. what then ensues is the most stressful and awful 3 hours of his life.
2 hands your stunt-driver pulled out the day before the shoot, good thing you're dating an f1 driver. (18+)
risotto brazil was shit
prince charming lando brings his niece to the ballet, who knew he'd find love?
holidate Y/n, who gets mocked for being single, finds the perfect solution when she meets Lando, an F1 driver. Now she has the perfect date for her holidays, but her heart starts yearning for something more.
"oh yeah?" you and lando go out to celebrate his win and the championship, but you run into someone...
prison, not a promise lando proposes and it doesn't go as planned...
don't embarrass me you and lando have a fight on NYE
total wipe out lando has a chance encounter that changes his life
nothing to say based off of harry and karen's story in love actually
who's he? you've always been more famous, but now jack whitehall has decided to address it
cheeky he takes care of you whilst you are ill (emetophobia warning!)
revolving door he keeps coming back...
making it up he's one annoying guy
series
our favourite presenter, y/n y/l/n! f1 grid x reader x oscar piastri
Presenting… y/n y/l/n Tweets about our favourite F1 commentator!
Judgy McJudgy Pants or Osc? You decide! you and oscar are getting closer, or are you?
dangerous media things go downhill fast as you fall, and he has to catch you. what makes it worse is what he says after…
lies and flights you two have a moment, the moment ends, and so does something else...
confronting a confrontation in a hotel room doesn't go so well thanks to Franco's loud mouth...
reconcile you're reminded of a promise you made...
playing favourites masterlist
your first season as an f1 driver doesn't start the best, and you quickly realise McLaren doesn't like women very much. On top of that, your race engineer is as smug as the rest of them, and you have to deal with him all the time.
pairing: race engineer! oscar piastri x f1driver! fem! reader
twists and turns masterlist
lando norris was a preppy asshole in secondary school, and you were the girl he despised. years later, you're a hot-shot sports lawyer rewriting the rules of the sport he calls home, and your paths cross, whether you want them to or not.
pairing: lando norris x fem! lawyer! reader
faking it au masterlist
all's fair in love and fake relationships, yet Lando Norris somehow still finds a way to play dirty. you need the cash, he needs the popularity and to keep his name out of f1 gossips pages mouths. enter, the perfect, frustrating, awful relationship.
pairing: lando norris x fem! actress! reader
navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula one imagine#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x you#formula one x reader#formula 1#formula one#mclaren#oscar piastri x fem!reader#f1 fluff#x reader#reader insert#x reader fic#x reader fluff#x reader fanfiction#fem reader#f1#f1 smau#f1 imagines#f1 x you#requests#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#lando norris x reader angst#lando norris x reader#lando norris
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sugar on the night shift.
Summary: You've been stress baking because you've been stressed over work. Because you have so many desserts, you started leaving treats for the night shift security guard.
Warnings: None.
A/N: it's been almost 4 years since i've last posted something, and i deeply apologize. and i also deeply apologize if my work is rusty, i actually haven't wrote ANYTHING (other than research papers) since my last post. please accept this as an apology. - amanda
Remember when you were a kid and you always wanted to hurry up and grow up? If you could go back in time, you would definitely have smacked yourself or at least told yourself to cherish your youth.
Now, here you were, back aching, cookies baking, and your nails tapping against your computer keyboard attempting to finish a PowerPoint presentation on your newest marketing research findings due in the morning.
For the past nine months you were tasked with finding out how to sell nostalgia for your company. Those nine months were absolutely brutal. Everyday you would come home and just work until 4 am. But everyday for the past 9 months you had the same hobby while working, baking.
For some reason your brain knew it couldn’t turn off if there was something in the oven. Because of this project, you managed to produce pies, cookies, cakes, the whole nine yards.
The first three baking expeditions, you kept the baked goods. But everyday there was something new being baked and you couldn’t consume the desserts fast enough. You were offering it to neighbours, coworkers, friends; if someone had a stomach, you were offering them your baked goods.
Somewhere around the four month mark, you started leaving baked goods for the night security staff. They were awake at ungodly hours protecting your building, they deserve something sweet.
You were so entranced with finishing this PowerPoint, the only thing that broke your concentration was the kitchen timer blaring, indicating that your cookies were done.
You hopped off the chair and navigated towards the kitchen, you pulled the cookies out of the oven and let them cool on the wire rack you set up when you were done cleaning.
You knew they had to cool for a few more minutes before taking it downstairs to the security guard. You picked up the sticky note and grabbed the pen that was next to your computer, and scribbled a quick note.
“Sorry for torturing you with all of these baked goods, I promise this is the last one.”
You went back to work for a little bit before another timer broke your concentration, you packed the cookies into a small takeout box and stuck the sticky note to the top of the lid.
While in the elevator, you took a look at the time and winced. 3:17 am. You knew that you had to finish the PowerPoint by 4:30 am to even be able to get up and be able to present it to upper management.
You were practically racing against the clock at this point. You walked to the front desk and saw that the night security guard was not there. This was not new. Everytime you came down, he was not there. You assumed that he was doing his rounds, or he was watching the cameras in the back, or maybe he went for a smoke break.
You left the box on the front desk and practically ran back up to your apartment to finish your presentation.
✦•······················•✦•······················•✦
The presentation was a success and upper management took your findings seriously. That was the only win you got for the day. Everything else was sleep deprived losses. Since you got off the train, your body was absolutely screaming at you to hurry up and get home and rest.
You buzzed into your apartment complex and waved at the evening shift worker. You normally would hold a conversation but your eyes were so heavy that you might fall asleep mid-conversation.
You got into your apartment, grabbed a cookie from the counter and made a beeline to the shower to wash the gunk of the office off you.
✦•······················•✦•······················•✦
That night you slept like an absolute baby. Nine months of no sleep made you sleep almost a full thirteen hours.
You were walking to the front door, phone in hand, cookie in mouth, checking up on the texts you missed while you were practically in a coma. Still oblivious to the world, you pull a pair of heels out and put them on. You finally broke contact with your phone to grab your keys when you noticed a white envelope on your floor.
You questioned if you dropped your mail walking in, but you were so tired yesterday that you didn’t even grab your mail. You shoved your phone in your bag and the remainder of your cookie in your mouth before picking up the envelope and inspecting it.
You thought maybe your mail went elsewhere and someone returned it. But there was nothing on the front with your name. You opened the envelope and there was a note inside.
If your company is even half as sweet as your pastries, I’m in trouble. Coffee sometime? - Bucky
#marvel#marvel x reader#marvel comics#chubby!bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky fluff#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky x plus size reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x yn#bucky barnes x oc#bucky#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes blurb#bucky barnes drabble#bucky barnes romance#bucky barnes reader insert
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PAC TAROT 18+: their sexual energy towards you 🎥❤️🔥



pile one
they think your fine asf, sexy asffff, like beautiful. they put you on a high pedestal & high worth. they love your ass, they wanna do some backshots & u throw it back lmao. idk if their competing for you, ur putting up boundaries, or they are but someone’s standing on business & fighting for what they want. they might be scared of something, overthinking depending on your situation but it’s some anxious energy when they desire you. if your not giving them sex maybe their frustrated. but they would love some nudes, facetime sex. do they like to record? he thinks your so sexy & has a crushhh like he intends on coming back, bringing it back. just celebrating in child like excitement, gifting you, missing you because your so sexyy. why can’t he have youuu, like he feeling trapped to be honest. he just feel so awwnnn🫧. he probably just trying to get through you not having sex if you guys are not active currently & feels like your forbidden ⛓️ but he deeply desires you, baddd. your his type like the type of people he watches porn on. i could see them thinking about traveling, exploring & growing with you. the sexual experience they think about is at home, nice experience. i see like intimate, grownnn people drunk in LOVE type sexxx. we be all nighttt, LOVEEEEE. they definitely wanna get in between them legs, love your legs, how you sit! he think of you of each other peace of mind, like what you guys need.
pile two
okay, so i see a clear situation for some people this is someone that is at your job, school, that you guys work on something together, like professional partners. you might be a stranger that sit next to you, or work with you that they are plotting on how to come forward. for some you are probably still a stranger, or not as close and they see you being long term, and they want to work together and build something and a foundation with you that would be a wish fulfillment. their sexual thoughts is probably commitment, a lot of potiental. build on a relationship first? & wants to have a happy, both fulfilling and pleasurable time. their KINKYY. asf, and their desires with you is very unique, animalistic, lustful, and fetishes. a lot of 10s omg every card im turning over, this is stable, this is long term. this is something he willing to keep fucking, and do a lot with you. even if the sex is a lot of work and they picking u up. they want to grab on your hips and your ass. they definitely intend on getting in that, starting a spark, having a joyful exciting time. like they going to have some FUN sex with you make you happy. kissing while they in it. they love you, omg your their queen. lmao but the sex is going to be emotional but not vanilla at all. overall they might be mysterious, or you are. and it’s a crush, idk if they seem like your not feeling it or vice versa. or for someee people maybe their moral, mature and having flirty feelings waiting for a relationship again this can be your energy.
pile three
so currently this situation doesn’t look to present, active or in the best of terms. was it cheating going on?? is someone scared, trapped, and heartbroken. they still wanna fuck 👉🏽👈🏽 they intend on taking a risk & going for it. they want to start something new with you. you turn them on when your around them. they have a lot of not too lustful, but not to mature & commited sexual energy. “girl i can see your stressed, come rely on me for sex”. he wants to drink or smoke with you. get you wettt asf. you can just lay back on they bed and they wanna give to you and try some of that. if this person is kind of young they might have a objectifying mindset, but he’s satisfied. if you been posting yourself and you guys are not together they get turned on but irritated (im picking up on a cheating situation for some people). they think about sex toys with you. when your climaxxxing & being territorial over you. whoever cheated i see someone on their if you have dark hair they like that.
#18+ pac#18+ tarot#pac tarot#pac reading#pick a pile#pick a card reading#pick a deck#pick a picture#pick a photo#pick a card#pick an image#18+ pick a card#tarot witch#tarot masterlist#tarotcommunity#tarotblr#tarot community#daily tarot#tarotdaily#tarot reading#tarot#witchblr#witch#astrology community#astro community#oracle reading#witch community#psychic#free tarot#astrology observations
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Inspired by this post by @thanergetic-hyperlinks, I present to you
Tessellations of the Nine Houses
(Or "I can't really draw figurative art so my Locked Tomb fanarts are geometrical vector drawings")
"A tessellation or tiling is the covering of a surface, often a plane, using one or more geometric shapes, called tiles, with no overlaps and no gaps." — Wikipedia.
Making tilings themed after each necromantic House seems obvious: for each House you pick a tile with the same number of sides as the number of the House; but this does present some challenges for some of the Houses.
note 1: this might give the impression that I first decided on the symbols and then found patterns to match them in a very organized and motivated manner; in practice it was much more chaotic and multidirectional, the patterns informing the symbols as much as the symbols informed the patterns; this is fine since symbolism is entirely associative and arbitrary anyway
note 2: I added alt-texts for all the images, but I have no idea of how to properly describe abstract geometric art; if you feel you can do a better job than I did, feel free to put your fingers where your mouth is--wait, hang on-- I mean feel free to provide better descriptions if you can
note 3: looking forward to the geometry nerds explaining to me how I got basic geometric details wrong, friggin nerds
The First House
The First House seems obvious, as a shape with one side is an ellipse (of which the circle is a special case). There's just one problem: ellipses do not tile the plane. No matter how much you stretch them and deform them, the very nature of ellipses means you'll always have gaps or overlaps.
So we cheat and we work with overlaps: turns out there is a history of tilings that use circles as a construction pattern, then turn the overlapping sections into the actual tiles. Such patterns have been used extensively in European and Middle Eastern art, and have also been associated with the New Age movement, so it fits Jod's style perfectly. And so we get this:
The different cells correspond to different House colors, with the resulting gothic stained-glass appearance quite in line with the Roman Catholic Empire vibe Jod is going for. The overlapping circles convey the intricacy of the relation between the First House and the eight other, both autonomous from it yet intrinsically part of it.
The Second House
There's a variety of geometrical shapes that have two sides, but most of them don't tile the plane, altho there is one that does — if we take a crescent shape and slightly thicken it so that the inner and outer curves are identical, we can do this:
The waving pattern is of course evocative of the flag of conquest which the Cohorts of the Second House have planted on many worlds.
The Third House
With the Third House things get a lot easier, because equilateral triangles are one of the three regular polygons (where all sides are the same length and all angles are identical) that tile the plane all by themselves without needing any other shape! Which however doesn't mean we have to be boring; we can have a little bit of fun:
Flowers for the beauty and ionizing radiation warning signs for the rancid vibes.
The Fourth House
Squares are the second regular polygons that tile the plane by themselves, so again our job is easy here, altho we still want to not go for the easiest option in order to be able to work in some symbolism:
The four big navy squares with a small white square at the center of course evoke the number five and the shadow of the Fifth House's regency over the Fourth.
The Fifth House
Regular pentagons do not tile the plane, so we have to use a more unusual shape — there are many options, but obviously we want to again pick one that offers some interesting numerical symbolism:
The cross-like patterns of course bring up the number four and the hold of the Fifth House over the Fourth. As for the crosses themselves and the fact that they appear to be made of wooden stakes, well uh… Abigail Pent, Vampire Hunter??? She does have Van Helsing vibes.
The Sixth House
Hexagons are the third and last regular polygons that tile the plane on their own. But this is the Sixth House we're talking about, things need to look orderly but in a convoluted way. So how about multiple levels of recursion:
The apparent complexity of the pattern is created by different orientations of a small number of elements, either 3 irregular hexagons, or 1 patterned regular hexagonal tile, depending on how you look at it, in line with the kind of hermetic scientism one imagines the Sixth House indulges in. The result is those apparent three-dimensional elements and emerging higher-order patterns, including that of ꙮ, the Multiocular O found in exactly one word of one 15th century Old Church Slavonic translation of the Book of Psalms ("серафими многоꙮчитїй" many-eyed seraphim).
The Seventh House
Regular heptagons do not tile the plane, but they don't need much tweaking to work, which is fine since for the Seventh House we want something deceptive yet simple (deceptively simple? deceptive in its simplicity?):
Hearts for the beauty, snake scales for the poison [the Seventh House is on Venus, the planet named after the Roman Goddess of love, but etymologically "Venus" is actually the same root as "venom", and of course "Septimus" resembles "septic" — tho in that case there's no etymological connection, it's just a happy coincidence].
The Eighth House
Octagons do not tile the plane, but they come pretty close, so we can give the Eighth House a simple, stern, but slightly threatening pattern:
Boring sterile bleached temple mosaic, with just a little bit of passive-agression, a perfect fit for Evangelical Christians Tumblr puritans the Eighth House.
The Ninth House
And so we reach the Ninth House. Now the thing about the Ninth House is that, even by imperial standards, they're huge freaks, like they're completely unhinged heretical weirdoes. So, when it comes to their tiling, we need to get weird, like, a lot weirder than we've been so far, and this will require some context, so get ready because now we're officially going on a wild tangent.
So far all the tilings we've seen were periodic. That is, they were drawing a pattern that repeats itself indefinitely in all directions.
But starting in the 1960s, mathematicians began to study aperiodic tilings, tilings that don't repeat; you can keep expanding them forever and never exactly find back the original pattern you started with. The first mathematical proof of such a pattern was made in 1964 and theoretically required 20,426 distinct tile prototypes… This was soon refined to just 104 tile prototypes, then a mere 40. By 1971, it was mathematically demonstrated that you could make such a pattern with just 6 tile prototypes.
Except that was a lie.
Note that I said mathematically demonstrated. As it turns out there was an aperiodic pattern with just 5 tile prototypes, known as Girih, that had been used in Islamic art… since at least the 13th century — but it had historically been treated merely as an element of architectural design, and its mathematical properties weren't studied until 2007.
Then in 1973 this guy Penrose came along and demonstrated you could make an aperiodic tiling with just 2 tile prototypes. So now the goal was to find the ultimate aperiodic tiling, the one that would use only one tile prototype. Given how fast the field had progressed so far, it seemed that this discovery was imminent.
It took 50 years.
Not only that, but it was the work of amateur mathematician David Smith who accidentally discovered a 13-sided polygon that could make an aperiodic tiling all by itself (he then had his discovery checked by and co-authored a paper with a number of professional mathematicians).
EXCEPT THAT WAS A LIE AGAIN.
In turns out an aperiodic tiling using only one tile prototype had already been found… in 1936. But since the study of aperiodic tilings only started in the 60s, its significance in that domain wasn't understood at the time. It was seen as significant, but for an entirely unrelated reason: it was the first demonstration of a polygonal shape that needed only two copies of itself to completely enclose the original one — many mathematicians before that point thought the minimum possible was 3 (think of the Triforce from Zelda, with one equilateral triangle completely enclosed between three other identical triangles).
And coincidently, that shape happens to be a highly-irregular nonagon [yes "enneagon" is """technically""" more correct but "nonagon" has been used since the 17th century and is more common and it has Nona in it and Nona loves you]. So here it is, the Voderberg tiling, the freakish freakish tessellation of the Ninth House:
Like you see this and you're like "what is this, what is that thing, that's not a tiling, what the fuck is that" — but it is, it is a tiling, you can keep adding the freaky polygon and it keeps expanding outward forever, with no gap, no overlap, and with an ever-changing pattern. A double-spiral radiating outward, for Anastasia and Samael, Anastasia and Alecto, Alecto and Harrowhark, Harrowhark and Gideon.
And if you were thinking that this last one must have been significantly harder to draw than the other ones, you would be correct.
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𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐌𝐄 𝐔𝐏 | 20
˗ˏˋ DIY bracelets ˎˊ˗

"You were not expecting to really enjoy the MoMA exhibition, but Jungkook looks so interested and in his element that his energy is contagious. Even with a IUD in your uterus staging mutiny, and him trying to evade your questions throguh a DIY bracelet shop."
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⋆。°✩ chapter details ✩°。⋆
word count: 10,4k
content: working hours at B&N, books, jk being goofy as usual, subway touches (what was that?), jk's genuine interest in photography, uterus pain, kids asking questions (lmao), jk being bff w boundaries as usual, soft conversations, avoiding certain topics, and making friendship bracelets (ew gay???) (p.s. i'm literally queer, shush it.)
✧ author's note ✧
*descends from the sky on a sparkly cloud of serotonin and unresolved sexual tension* GREETINGS, MY LITTLE PSYCHOTIC DAFFODILS. *ducks the knife thrown at my head* RUDE. *throws it back, it lands in someone’s thigh, probably Jungkook’s*
Okay okay okay okay. *deep breath.*
Hello, my beloved kikizens. If you’re reading this… I’m most likely abroad, roaming the earth like the girlboss nomad I pretend to be on Instagram, while in reality I’m crying over the outline of chapter 23 in the Notes app and eating overpriced airport pastries. Yes. I wrote this ahead of time. Yes. I am the most responsible irresponsible person you’ve ever met. Time traveling author note from Past!Kiki, sending love and ibuprofen to Future!You. Let’s hope the plane didn’t crash because, if so, Fuck Me Up Jungkook is now your responsibility. Please keep him fed and slightly emotionally constipated, just as I left him.
NOW. LET'S TALK. This chapter. THIS CHAPTER. We are entering the land of slow burn intimacy and micro-shifts in character dynamics that make me froth at the mouth. I need to scream about it. I am screaming about it. Nix at Barnes & Noble? A concept. Her choosing a retail job because she wants to save someone the way books saved her??? Yeah okay I'm totally fine, I'm just on the floor sobbing about it in a public bathroom.
AND JUNGKOOK. THAT BASTARD. Being respectful?? Giving her space while still being present?? Letting her lead and following her cues like a man who understands autonomy and emotional nuance??? Jail. Absolute jail. He’s so annoying and so HOT about it. I love writing him because he’s cocky and feral and dumb, but also deeply perceptive and compassionate when it counts. Like okay yes he's a little insufferable, but also, he's the kind of man who listens when you talk about your reproductive health without flinching and I think that's worth something.
Also. Let’s talk about the bracelets. Phoenix and Rogue. Fire-coded losers who pretend they don’t care while making color-coded matching jewelry??? WHO SAID YOU COULD BE CUTE. WHO SAID.
Anyway. This chapter is the beginning of a shift. A very soft shift. We’re not in love yet. We’re not even close. We are in that horrible, confusing, liminal space where friendship might be possible eventually but everyone’s still too scared and too stupid to say it out loud. They’re not friends yet. But they’re getting there. We’re watching in real time as they learn each other’s pressure points—what to push, when to pull back. It’s very ugh my chest hurts but also my heart is fluttering kind of vibe. Which is my favorite thing to write. Obviously.
Now. To talk about me, because I love attention: I’ve only been posting for a few months and I’m already overrun with WIPs like some kind of literary hoarder. It’s a problem. I start stories, then my ADHD bitchass brain says “new shiny idea???” and next thing I know I’m drowning in three AUs, an enemies-to-lovers high school AU I wrote at 3AM, and a secret smutty one-shot I can’t stop thinking about. It’s a whole ecosystem of chaos. But I do want to write them all. I do. I just also want to nap. And read. And rot.
So yeah. I think about y’all waiting for updates more than you know. I stress about it. I chew on it like emotional gum. My Spirk fic hasn’t updated in two months and it haunts me in my sleep. But I’m trying to accept that writing is better done when it feels good, not when I’m spiraling in guilt. So. If I ever start something and it takes me ages to finish, just know I do want to get there. I just move at the speed of depression and distraction.
AND A GENTLE REMINDER: this is a slow burn. A SLOW slow burn. Not the kind where they kiss in chapter 5 and you pretend it’s slow because they didn’t bang yet. No. I mean they will not start catching actual feelings for a while. There will be distractions. Other people, love interests. Awkwardness. Denial. You will watch them flounder. You will scream at your phone. You will think “surely they must realize it now,” and I will look you in the eyes and say, “no. no they do not.” Because the point is the journey. The point is the becoming. Not the kissing. (Okay fine also the kissing. But later.)
We are 20 chapters in, and I am being so serious when I say we are maybe… 20% into the full story. If that. I want to go all the way. From strangers to roommates to fuckbuddies to friends to best friends to oh my god it was you all along. I want to write every beat. Every change. Every stupid, messy, human moment. And yes. We will suffer. You, me, Nix, Jungkook, Yeji, Taehyung, everyone.
So I'd say sorry, but let's be honest, if you’re here right now—chapter 20, still with me—I know what kind of sick little freak you are. Masochist. You're not fooling anyone.
And I adore you for it. Thank you for choosing violence with me. Thank you for loving these two idiots. Thank you for reading. I mean it. So much.
Okay. Enough rambling. Go read. Go cry. Go scream. Tell your friends. Tattoo “Phoenix x Rogue” on your ass if you feel so inclined.
Mwah.
(Shameless reminder to support me on Ko-fi if you like my unhinged writing mess).
Edit because apparently I need to make this clear; my stories are extremely slow paced. This is STATED in the author’s INTRO I EXPLICITLY mention you must READ before delving into any of my works. I am tired of messages complaining about the pacing. You are warned beforehand. You chose to read this knowing it’s going to be slow as hell. Nobody is holding you hostage. If you’re bored, you can leave. I seriously don’t care. I am writing my stories because I crave this type of storytelling where everything is narrated in detail and nothing is glossed over. My readers know that and they choose to stay because they want the same thing. 80% of stories out there are fast-paced. I am catering to the people who want this type of organic development. If that’s not your thing, that’s absolutely fine. But you don’t get to complain and whine about something when there’s 100 fanfics out there you can read instead. You don’t get to come for me or my writing—lest of all my readers. I said what I said.
⋆。°✩ read on✩°。⋆
ao3
wattpad
Books have always been your lifeline in a world that feels like it's trying to drown you.
You've loved them for as long as you can remember, though you can't pinpoint the exact moment they became your refuge. It wasn't a dramatic epiphany or a life-changing event. Just a gradual realization that between the pages of a book, you could breathe easier.
Kafka speaks to the part of you that feels constantly out of step with the world (though you'd never admit that to Taehyung—his smug "I told you so" would be unbearable).
Murakami paints surreal landscapes that make your own reality feel a little less suffocating.
And now Donna Tartt, because you're tired of Jimin's scandalized gasps every time you confess to not having read her yet.
You weren't the stereotypical bookworm growing up. No thick glasses perched on your nose, no disdainful sniffs at the mention of pop culture. You didn't turn your nose up at Harry Styles concerts or roll your eyes at school dances.
But even as you navigated the treacherous waters of adolescence—first periods and friendship fallouts, the constant drama of simply existing as a teenager—books were always there.
A constant, even if sometimes pushed to the background.
They became your armor when the weight of expectations threatened to crush you. When disappointment hung heavy in the air, threatening to send you away in a chokehold, you'd retreat into worlds made of paper and ink.
It was easier to face fictional monsters than the very real ones lurking in parent-teacher conferences and college application deadlines.
Now, standing amidst the shelves of Barnes & Noble, surrounded by the comforting smell of new books and possibility, you can't help but feel a sense of belonging. Like you've come full circle. From the little girl who used to hide under her covers with a flashlight, devouring stories long past bedtime, to the woman who's made words her life's work.
It's not always easy.
Sometimes the words on the page blur together, your mind too full of real-world worries to lose yourself in fiction.
But even then, the weight of a book in your hands is grounding.
A reminder that there are always other worlds to explore, other lives to live, if only for a few hundred pages.
Maybe that's why you're here, arranging displays and recommending titles to strangers.
Because somewhere out there is another person drowning in expectations, desperate for a lifeline.
And maybe, just maybe, you can be the one to hand them the right book at the right moment—help them with their very own small act of rebellion against a world that sometimes feels too heavy to bear.
Mark hovers nearby as you arrange a new display of bestsellers, lanky frame, loose shirt and baggy pants. He's the one who picked up your application when you and Yeji came in last week—the one with the kind eyes and the nervous habit of clutching his hands together every five seconds.
Blonde, blue-eyed. You’d dare say he’s not bad-looking. For a man.
"So basically," he explains, voice pitched low like he's sharing state secrets instead of retail procedures, "most days you'll either be on register, floor assistance, or shelving. Today you're just shadowing me on the floor."
Floor assistance, as it turns out, is mostly wandering around looking approachable (but not too approachable) and occasionally directing lost souls to the bathroom or the manga section. You're also expected to straighten displays, check for misplaced books, and maintain what Mark calls "the Barnes & Noble aesthetic."
"Which means?" you ask, adjusting a copy of the latest Sally Rooney that's slightly out of alignment with its siblings.
"You know," he shrugs, hands doing that awkward hovering thing again, "like... cozy but sophisticated. Inviting but not cluttered."
You nod like this makes perfect sense, though privately you think it sounds like the kind of bullshit corporate memo someone got paid way too much to write.
"What about recommendations?" you ask. "Do we have any input on displays or—"
"Oh, totally!" His face brightens. "We each get to curate an employee picks shelf. You can start working on yours next week."
That, at least, sounds promising.
Already your mind is cataloging possibilities—perhaps a mix of classics and contemporary, maybe something unexpected thrown in. Definitely not the usual suspects everyone claims to have read but hasn't.
And just like that, the morning quickly blurs into afternoon.
Your tasks are the same all day: shelving, straightening, and following Mark around as he points out the minutiae of bookselling. It's mindless work, but not unpleasant. There's something soothing about putting things in order, about knowing exactly where everything belongs.
By the time your lunch break rolls around, you've settled into a comfortable groove. The break room is empty except for you and your sad turkey sandwich, the ancient TV in the corner playing a rerun of The Office. One where Jim is pulling some elaborate prank on Dwight. You find yourself smiling despite the mediocrity of your lunch.
The afternoon passes in much the same way—quiet, uneventful, almost peaceful. You help an elderly woman find the latest Louise Penny mystery. You alphabetize a section of poetry that looks like it's been hit by a tornado. You dust shelves that probably haven't seen a feather duster since Obama was president.
And then, suddenly, it's 5 PM.
You glance at your phone, mildly surprised that eight hours have passed without a single customer meltdown or retail horror story. No one has asked to speak to your manager. No one has tried to return a clearly read book with coffee stains on page 47. No one has even approached you with one of those vague "I'm looking for a book with a blue cover about a thing that happens" requests.
In fact, you've barely interacted with customers at all. It wasn't your turn on register, and most browsers seemed content to wander without assistance.
It's been... nice.
Quiet.
The kind of job where you can disappear into your own thoughts for stretches at a time.
You could get used to this, you think, clocking out and grabbing your bag from the locker.
Maybe it won't be the soul-crushing retail experience Yeji warned you about. Maybe you've lucked into the unicorn of part-time jobs—one that pays the bills without completely draining your will to live.
Or maybe it's just the first-day honeymoon period, and next week you'll be dealing with entitled parents who think the children's section is a free daycare.
Either way, as you push through the employee exit into the early evening air, you feel a strange sense of… accomplishment?
Surely, it's not saving lives or changing the world, but you can’t deny it’s satisfying; a day spent surrounded by books, putting things in order, creating small pockets of calm in a chaotic world.
And now, apparently (because God forbid the universe lets you forget) you have plans.
With Jungkook, of all people.
The thought should make you anxious.
It doesn’t.
You check your phone and see his text:
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚊? 𝚊𝚖 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎
You scan the street and spot him leaning against a lamppost, scrolling through his phone, looking unfairly good in a simple black t-shirt and jeans. Your roommate. Your sometimes-hookup. Your... friend?
The word still feels strange, but maybe it's time to try it on for size.
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑 𝚒'𝚖 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚞
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚊𝚜 1𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚙𝚙𝚕
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚢 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚗𝚘 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚢 𝚜𝚘 𝚒'𝚖 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚠𝚒𝚗
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚠𝚘𝚠 𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚋𝚊𝚛 𝚗𝚒𝚡
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚞 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚕𝚞𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚝𝚠
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚊 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝 𝚛𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚜 𝚛 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚡
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚒'𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚞𝚛𝚜
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚐 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙 🙄
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚎'𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚙𝚞𝚋𝚕𝚒𝚌
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚞 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚎'𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚕 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛?
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛?
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚟
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚑𝚝𝚘
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚊 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚍?
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚕
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚒 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚞 𝚋𝚝𝚠 𝚒𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒'𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚘𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚗𝚒𝚡
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚎
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒'𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚐𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚗𝚘 𝚞 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚝
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚖𝚎
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗 𝚞 𝚙𝚑𝚎𝚎
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚝𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚢 𝚊𝚏
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚢
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚑𝚝𝚘
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚐 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚜𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚖𝚎
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚑𝚑𝚑𝚑𝚑
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚒 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚞 𝚛𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗 𝚞𝚛 𝚎𝚢𝚎𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎
𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒'𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚕𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚝𝚎𝚡𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎
𝐊𝐮𝐤𝐨🖕🏻: 𝚘𝚔 𝚋𝚢𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚞 𝚒𝚗 𝟹𝟸𝟷
You spot him leaning against the lamppost, scrolling on his phone like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Hands shoved into his pockets, shoulders relaxed, black t-shirt fitting just right—not too tight, not too loose. It’s casual. Effortless.
And yeah, you’ve seen him in casual before—sweats, pajamas, even that stupid hoodie he refuses to throw out—but this is different. This is casual street Jungkook in the wild, outside the apartment.
Casual street Jungkook who’s here with you to do something normal and non-sexual and… friendly.
He looks good. But then again, you already knew that. There’s a reason you fuck him despite his infuriating personality.
Even when he says things that make you want to strangle him with his own belt.
He catches sight of you approaching and grins, that stupid lopsided grin that’s all teeth and confidence.
“Hey,” he says, voice light like this is just another day.
You don’t respond. Don’t even look up from your phone as your thumb swipes through apps in search of Maps.
“We have a twenty-minute ride from Union Square to the MoMA,” you say flatly. “The exhibit starts in thirty-five, so let’s go.”
“Sure,” he says easily, pushing off the lamppost with a lazy shrug. “What line?”
“N, Q, R—whichever comes first.” You finally glance up at him as you say it, but only briefly. Just long enough to catch the slight raise of his eyebrows before he nods.
“Okay.”
And then you’re walking side by side toward the subway entrance like this is normal. Like this isn’t the first time you’ve agreed to spend time together without sex as the unspoken endgame.
The stairs down to the subway are crowded—typical for a weekday evening—and you both swipe your cards at the turnstile without a word. There’s a guy pissing in one corner of the station (because of course there is), and Jungkook widens his eyes in a grimace like he’s trying to wipe away the sight of it. You don’t comment, just keep moving toward the platform like nothing happened.
It shouldn’t feel awkward. It’s never been awkward with him before—not even when things got messy or complicated or downright stupid between you two.
But now?
Now it feels like there’s this invisible weight hanging between you, pressing down on every step you take together.
Maybe it’s because he brought up that whole “trying to be friends��� thing this morning—friends who have expectations, and expectations lead to disappointment, and disappointment leads to losing control.
Or maybe it’s because now that he said it out loud—now that he put friendship on the table—you can’t stop overthinking every little thing about this outing.
What does he expect from you? Does he want small talk? Does he want silence? Is this supposed to feel casual or meaningful or something else entirely?
You glance at him out of the corner of your eye as you both stop near the edge of the platform. He’s standing close but not too close—hands still in his pockets, gaze fixed on some ad plastered across the opposite wall. He doesn’t look uncomfortable or tense or anything remotely resembling how you feel right now.
Which makes sense because Jungkook never overthinks anything. He just does whatever feels right in the moment and deals with the consequences later (if at all).
It’s one of the things that drives you crazy about him—and maybe one of the things you secretly envy.
The train isn’t here yet, so now what? Do you say something? Ask him about his day? Pretend this is normal and fine and not at all weird for you?
“So…” Your voice comes out hesitant—too hesitant—and you immediately hate yourself for it.
Nice going, stupid bitch.
He glances at you but doesn’t say anything right away, waiting for you to finish whatever thought you’re trying (and failing) to articulate.
“What did… what did you do?” You clear your throat awkwardly, shifting your weight from one foot to the other as if that’ll somehow make this less painful for both of you. “Until… y’know… five?”
His lips twitch like he’s fighting back a smirk—like he knows exactly how much effort it took for you to ask such a simple question—and for some reason that makes you want to shove his head against the next train.
“Not much,” he says finally, his tone casual but not dismissive. “Watched some YouTube tutorials. Tried making sourdough again.”
You blink at him. “Sourdough?”
“Yeah.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal, like baking bread is just a totally normal thing for someone like him to do in their free time. “Didn’t come out great though.”
“Oh.”
You don’t know what else to say to that—to him—so instead you just nod and glance down at your phone again like there’s something urgent demanding your attention.
But then, as if destiny decided (for once) to make things easier for you, the train arrives with its usual screech of brakes and rush of stale air, saving you from having to come up with any more awkward small talk on the platform.
So you step onto the train together—side by side but not touching—and you can’t help but wonder if this whole ‘trying to be friends’ thing is going to be harder than either of you realized.
Inside Jungkook moves instinctively to the metal bar overhead, reaching up to steady himself as the train lurches forward. You follow suit, your fingers wrapping around the same bar just a few inches away from his.
It’s fine. It’s normal. People share subway bars all the time. Nothing weird about it.
Except your hand shifts slightly as the train rounds a corner, and suddenly your pinky brushes against his. Just barely—a fleeting touch—but it’s enough to make you freeze for half a second.
And…
You don’t look at him.
You refuse to look at him.
Because if you do, you’ll see that stupid smirk he always gets when he knows he’s gotten under your skin, and you’re not sure you can handle that right now.
But then his hand shifts too—like, on purpose?—and his pinky brushes yours again.
Softer this time.
Lingering.
Your stomach twists in a way that feels equal parts annoying and… something else you don’t want to name. You glance up at him despite yourself, ready to snap something sarcastic or dismissive or whatever it takes to make this moment feel less charged than it suddenly does.
But he’s not smirking. He’s just… looking at you. Calmly. Quietly. Like this is nothing more than two people sharing a subway bar in a crowded train.
And maybe it is nothing. Maybe you’re just overthinking it because that’s what you do—because every little thing with him feels like it carries more weight than it should.
Still, when his fingers shift again—this time curling slightly so the side of his hand presses against yours—you don’t pull away.
You don’t say anything either, just let your fingers relax against the bar as the train rattles onward.
It’s small. Subtle. Barely even noticeable in the grand scheme of things.
But somehow, in the cramped chaos of the subway car—with strangers pressed against you on all sides—it feels like the quietest moment you’ve had all day.
You don’t look at him again—not directly—but out of the corner of your eye, you catch the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his lips. Not cocky or teasing or anything remotely resembling his usual expressions.
Just soft.
And for some reason, that makes your throat tighten all over again.
You never expected to find Jungkook beautiful.
He stands in front of a massive black and white photograph with his head tilted slightly and dark brown eyes narrowed in concentration.
The lightning inside the space makes everything feel way more thought-provoking than it actually is. All you notice, really, is how it deepens the line of his jaw, the slight furrow between his eyebrows. His lips, and how they move silently, like he's having some private conversation with the image before him.
Stupid, handsome motherfucker. Why does he exist in your space?
You've seen him naked. You've seen him laughing so hard he nearly falls off the couch. You've seen him half-asleep and grumpy at 6 AM.
But you've never seen him like this—completely absorbed, genuinely focused on something that isn't getting laid or annoying the shit out of you.
"The composition is fucking incredible," he says without looking at you, gesturing at the photograph. "See how they've used negative space to draw your eye to the subject? And the depth of field is so deliberate—keeps you just slightly off-balance."
You blink, caught off guard by the sudden technical analysis. Since when does Jungkook know smart words?
"You actually know about photography?" It comes out more surprised than you intended.
He turns to you then, one eyebrow raised. "Film major, Nix. Kind of comes with the territory."
"Yeah, but—" You stop yourself, not sure how to articulate that you assumed his interest in film was mostly about looking cool and impressing girls.
"But what?"
"Nothing," you mutter, moving closer to the photograph. "Just didn't realize you paid attention in class."
He snorts. "I maintain my GPA through pure charm and good looks alone. No actual knowledge required."
You roll your eyes, but there's no real annoyance behind it. "Seriously though, you seem like you actually know what you're talking about. It's... weird."
"Weird that I'm not a complete idiot?" He steps back from the photograph, hands sliding into his pockets. "Gee, thanks."
"That's not what I meant."
He shrugs, already moving toward the next piece—a series of distorted portraits that seem to melt into one another.
"I just like this stuff. Always have."
You follow him, curiosity getting the better of you.
"Since when?"
"Since forever," he says, stopping in front of the portraits. "My mom was into photography. Had this old Pentax she used to carry everywhere. Taught me how to develop film in our bathroom when I was like, eight."
His voice always turns weirdly soft when his mom is involved. It makes you pause.
This is the most he's ever shared about his family, you realize.
You're not sure whether to press further or let it go.
Before you can decide, he continues, "These portraits are using multiple exposure. See how the faces blend together? It's like—when you overlay two negatives, you get this ghost effect. The new digital stuff makes it easier, but there's something about doing it on actual film that hits different."
His enthusiasm is... surprising. And weirdly contagious. You find yourself leaning in closer to see what he's pointing out, actually interested in the technical explanation.
"The photographer probably used a really slow shutter speed too," he adds, gesturing at the blurred edges of the subjects' features. "Makes movement look like this—sort of ethereal, you know?"
You don't know, not really, but you nod anyway.
Because his voice picks up speed when he talks about this, his hands do slightly more animated movements as he explains, and there’s genuine passion coloring his words and it’s…
It's... different. Seeing him care about something so much.
"What?" he asks suddenly, catching you staring at him.
You hadn't realized you were. Heat creeps up your neck, and you look away quickly.
"Nothing."
"Nah, you were looking at me weird."
"Just..." You shrug, aiming for casual. "You're a huge nerd, that's all."
He blinks at you, then barks out a laugh. "Wow. I share my vast knowledge and expertise, and that's what I get?"
"Vast knowledge? Your head barely fits in the room as it is."
"That's it," he declares, turning away dramatically. "I'm not explaining anything else. Figure it out yourself, philistine."
You swat at his arm, fighting a smile. "Oh come on, I was joking. Keep nerding out. It's..." Cute? Interesting? Surprisingly not annoying? "...Educational."
He gives you a suspicious look but seems mollified. "Fine. But only because I'm generous with my brilliance."
You snort, following him to the next piece. "So generous."
And it's strange, this feeling—this easy back-and-forth that doesn't have the usual sharp edges.
For a moment, it almost feels like you could be friends. Real friends, not just roommates who occasionally fuck and mostly argue.
The thought is so unexpected that it—
Pain.
Sharp and sudden, like someone stabbing a hot poker into your lower abdomen. Your breath catches, body instinctively curling in on itself.
Your hand flies to your stomach as another wave hits, this one even more intense than the first.
It's the IUD again—has to be. But this is worse than before. Much worse.
You stop walking, one hand gripping the nearby wall for support as you try to breathe through it.
Just breathe. It'll pass. It has to.
It doesn't.
The third wave nearly brings you to your knees, a cold sweat breaking out across your forehead.
Jungkook makes it several steps before realizing you're no longer beside him. He turns back, eyes falling on your hunched form, and his expression shifts instantly from relaxed to concerned.
"Yo, what's wrong?" He's back at your side in three quick strides, voice pitched low but urgent.
You shake your head, not trusting yourself to speak yet. Just need a minute. Just need to breathe.
"Phoenix?" His hand hovers near your elbow, not quite touching. "Hey, talk to me. What's happening?"
"It's—" Another stab of pain cuts you off, and you bite down hard on your lip to keep from making a sound. "It's nothing. Just—cramps."
His frown deepens, eyes scanning your face.
"Bullshit. You look like you're about to pass out."
"I'm fine," you insist. "Just give me a second."
The lie tastes bitter on your tongue, but the alternative is worse.
Admitting weakness? Letting him see you crumble?
Absolutely fucking not.
Your uterus twists again—sadistic little organ—and you clench your jaw so hard you're surprised your teeth don't crack.
Breathe. Just breathe. You've handled worse.
(Have you, though?)
He's hovering now, that frown cutting deeper between his eyebrows, and you hate it.
Hate how his eyes flick over your face, cataloging symptoms.
Hate how his hand lifts halfway toward you before dropping back to his side, like he's afraid to touch you without permission.
"Ibuprofen," you manage, the word strained but determined. "I just need some ibuprofen."
"Nix, you seriously look like you're about to pass out—"
"Ibuprofen," you cut him off, sharper this time. "Seriously. I'll be okay. Just need. Ibuprofen."
You're not going home. Not happening.
You just got this fucking copper IUD on Wednesday—of course it's being a bitch. Three days of cramping is normal, right? Has to be.
And this is your first real attempt at being normal humans together, plus it's his birthday and Yoongi's expecting you to keep him out until eight. Your goddamn uterus is not ruining this.
A particularly vicious cramp rips through you, and you have to bite down on your lip to keep from making a sound. Jungkook notices, because of course he does. His eyes narrow, jaw working like he's physically biting back whatever argument he wants to make.
Finally, he sighs—loud, frustrated, dramatic in that way only he can be.
"Okay."
The surrender in his voice shouldn't feel like a victory, but it does. Even as another cramp threatens to fold you in half.
"Okay," he repeats, softer. "Let me see if I can get you one. Just—wait here, alright?"
He wraps his fingers around your elbow, not gripping, just guiding, and you let him because walking feels like a monumental task right now. .
Focus. One foot, then the other.
There's a cushioned bench a few feet away. A kid sits at one end, maybe seven or eight, swinging his legs and staring at the floor with the bored expression of someone dragged to a museum against his will.
Jungkook walks you toward it, his hand steady on your arm.
"Hello," he says to the boy, voice gentler than you've ever heard from him. "Sorry, my friend over here is in pain and really needs to sit down."
The kid looks up—first at Jungkook, then at you—eyes widening slightly. He doesn't say anything, just scoots over, fingers drifting to his mouth as he continues to stare.
"Thanks, buddy," Jungkook says, helping you sit.
You sink onto the bench, the relief immediate but not enough. It still feels like someone's playing Operation with your insides, fishing out organs with a pair of rusty pliers.
Jungkook lingers for a second, hesitant.
"You sure you'll be okay if I—"
"Go," you grit out, not trusting yourself to say more.
He gives you one last look—concerned, frustrated, something else you can't name—before turning and striding away with purpose, disappearing around a corner.
And then it's just you, the kid, and the agony twisting through your abdomen.
Great. Fantastic. You can't even make it through one normal human interaction without your body staging a fucking rebellion.
Every time you try to—what? Be a decent person? Spend time with someone who isn't Yeji? The universe laughs in your face.
The kid is still staring at you, blue eyes huge in his small face. You force what you hope is a reassuring smile but suspect looks more like a grimace.
"Your face is becoming white," he says matter-of-factly.
"Thanks," you mutter. "I'm aware."
"Like a ghost," he adds helpfully. "Are you gonna throw up?"
Jesus Christ. This is your life now. Being assessed by a tiny human while your reproductive system wages war against the rest of your organs.
"No," you say, though you're not entirely sure that's true. "Just need some medicine."
"My mom says medicine is for when you're really sick," he informs you, kicking his heels against the bench. "Are you really sick?"
Another twist of pain, and you have to close your eyes for a second.
"Something like that."
"Is that man your boyfriend?"
God, children and their questions. No filter, just an endless stream of curiosity with no regard for social niceties.
You should lie.
Should say yes, it would be simpler than explaining the complicated mess that is you and Jungkook.
"No," you say instead. "Just a... friend."
The word still feels strange. Foreign. Like you're saying it in a language you barely speak.
"Oh." The kid looks disappointed. "He looks like a superhero."
Despite everything—the pain, the frustration, the growing concern that the gyno didn't warn you about this level of copper IUD hell—you almost laugh.
Because Jungkook? Oh he would fucking love that. His ego is already the size of Manhattan; the last thing he needs is child-based validation of his supposed heroism.
"More like a supervillain," you mutter.
The boy's eyes widen further. "Really?"
"No, not really. Just a regular person who's..." You pause, not sure how to finish that sentence.
Annoying? Complicated? Stupidly attractive even when he's being insufferable?
"...helping me out."
You press your palm harder against your abdomen, hoping the pressure will somehow counteract the pain. But truthfully, it doesn't. If anything, it's getting worse, spreading from your core outward until your lower back aches and your thighs feel weak.
This can't be normal.
Well, maybe it is.
You've never had an IUD before—what the hell do you know?
Clearly should've read beyond the first page of that pamphlet they gave you, but you were too busy trying not to think about the actual insertion part.
"I have lots of friends," the kid announces proudly. "But none of them are girls."
He wrinkles his nose like this is the most disgusting concept imaginable.
Despite everything—the pain, the frustration, the knowledge that this day is slowly derailing—you almost smile.
"Girls aren't so bad."
He shrugs, unconvinced. "They like stupid stuff."
"So do boys."
"Nuh-uh. Boys like cool things. Like dinosaurs."
"Girls can like dinosaurs too."
He considers this, head tilted.
"I guess. My sister doesn't though. She just likes her stupid boyfriend." The contempt in his voice is impressive for someone whose feet don't touch the floor.
You're saved from further insights into his sister's love life by Jungkook's return. He's walking toward you with a small paper cup in one hand and a bottle of water in the other, his expression still caught between concern and that strange new softness.
"Got you covered," he says, dropping into a crouch in front of you. "They had a first aid station. Ibuprofen and water."
You take the pills and water with hands that shake slightly, downing them quickly.
"Thanks."
He sits beside you on the bench, close but not touching—some sort of distance that feels both considerate and maddening.
You realize now Jungkook is not one to push boundaries. Not when they’re firm, not when you’ve made them clear. Like when you told him this thing between you two stayed between you two and he just accepted it.
"Should take about twenty minutes to kick in," he says, voice low and even.
You nod, focusing on your breathing.
In and out. Slow and steady. Just get through this. You've handled worse.
(Have you, though? Because right now it feels like your insides are trying to claw their way out.)
"We can go home," he offers, so subsided it's almost comical coming from him. "If you want."
"No." The word comes out sharper than intended, and you soften it with, "No, I'm fine. Just need a minute."
He doesn't argue, just nods like he expected this answer.
Of course he did.
He knows you're stubborn, knows you hate showing weakness, knows you'll suffer through just about anything to avoid admitting you can't handle it.
The silence stretches between you, but it's not uncomfortable. Not exactly. It's... waiting. Patient. And you note how his knee bounces slightly, the only sign of restless energy in his otherwise still form.
"Thanks," you say again, quieter this time.
He glances at you, surprise flitting across his features.
"For what?"
"For not..." You gesture vaguely, searching for the right words. "Making it a thing."
His lips twitch, almost a smile but not quite.
"It's your body, Nix. Your call."
Something warm and unexpected unfurls in your chest at that—at the simple acknowledgment of your autonomy, your right to decide how to handle your own pain.
He could push. Could insist on taking you home, on calling a doctor, on making decisions for you "for your own good."
It's what most people would do, have always done, their concern overriding your independence.
But he doesn't.
Just sits beside you, a quiet presence in the middle of this mess, respecting your boundaries even as his knee keeps bouncing with what you suspect is concern he's trying not to voice.
It's... nice. Weird, but nice.
The kid on the bench has gone quiet, watching both of you with curious eyes. His mother appears suddenly, a harried-looking woman with a museum map clutched in one hand.
"Aiden, there you are! I told you not to wander off." She gives you and Jungkook an apologetic smile. "Sorry if he bothered you."
"He's fine," Jungkook says, easy and casual. "Just keeping us company."
Aiden slides off the bench, taking his mother's outstretched hand.
“They're friends," he informs her solemnly. "But not boyfriend and girlfriend."
His mother looks mortified. "Aiden!"
"It's okay," you manage, fighting back a laugh that would probably hurt like hell. "He's just observant."
Aiden's mother drags him away, his sneakers squeaking against the polished floor as he waves one last time.
And then it's just the two of you, sitting in silence on a bench in the middle of the MoMA like you belong there. Like this is normal.
All the while, the pain persists, still twisting through your abdomen.
Jungkook hums quietly—something soft and melodic that takes you a moment to recognize.
John Mayer. Of course it's fucking John Mayer.
Your gaze drifts to the floor, tracing the patterns in the polished concrete as another thought forms, heavy and insistent.
Should you tell him? About the IUD?
He's worried. You can see it in his eyes, the way his fingers tap restlessly against his thigh, the occasional glance he throws your way when he thinks you're not looking.
But he's not pushing. Not demanding explanations or insisting on taking you home.
Because that's not what he does.
He suggests, offers, hints... but never forces. Never demands.
Just accepts whatever you're willing to give, even when it's clear he wants more.
This morning he talked about being friends. About sharing things. About being more than just roommates who occasionally fuck and mostly argue.
Maybe this could be a first step. A tiny gesture toward whatever it is he's proposing.
But also...
Also what if you tell him and he smirks? Makes some stupid joke about how you wanted him raw that badly?
You know how quickly he covers discomfort with humor, how reliably he turns to sexual innuendo when a moment gets too real or too heavy.
And this moment is nothing if not heavy.
But overthinking it is getting you nowhere, and the silence is stretching too long, becoming its own kind of weight.
So you take a breath, summon what little courage the pain hasn't eaten away, and speak.
"I got an IUD." The words come out soft, hushed, almost hoping he won't hear them. "Wednesday."
His head tilts toward you, and you brace yourself. Wait for the snort, the smirk, the inevitable sexual commentary that will make you regret this tiny moment of trust.
But it never comes.
He just sighs softly, a small shrug lifting his shoulders.
"That's good."
Your eyes drift to him, confusion replacing the defensive tension you were building, because what does he mean?
He meets your gaze, then looks back at the photograph on the wall.
“I mean, it's good you're taking care of yourself. Your sexual health." Another shrug, this one smaller. "That's good, Nix."
Something in your chest loosens—a knot you didn't realize you were holding tight.
It's... not what you expected. Not from him.
Not from anyone, really.
"Yeah, well." You shift on the bench, wincing as the movement sends a dull throb through your lower abdomen. "Not feeling particularly great about it at the moment."
His lips quirk, not quite a smile.
"Pain that bad?"
"Like someone's playing Operation with my insides, but they're losing."
A soft laugh escapes him. "Fucking brutal."
"Pretty much."
Another stretch of silence, but this one feels different. Lighter, somehow. The pain is still there, but it's muted now, less all-consuming.
"Copper or hormonal?" he asks, voice casual like he's asking about the weather, not your reproductive choices.
You blink at him, genuinely surprised.
"You know the difference?"
"I do actually pay attention in health class, Phoenix. Plus, you know. Been with people who've had them."
"Copper," you answer, focusing on the question instead of whatever that feeling was. "I had a feeling hormones would mess with me."
He nods like this makes perfect sense. "Those are the ones that hurt more at first, right? Take longer to settle?"
Again, that surprise. "Yeah. How do you know that?"
"My ex." He shifts slightly on the bench, angling more toward you without actually moving closer. "She had one. Copper. Cramped like hell the first few months."
"Months?" The word comes out more alarmed than you intended.
His eyes widen slightly. "Not like, continuously. Just periodically. Mostly when she got her period. It got better though. Less intense over time."
"Great," you mutter. "Something to look forward to."
"Sorry." He winces. "Not helping, am I?"
"Not really, no."
"Do you..." He hesitates, eyes scanning your face like he's checking for warning signs. "Do you regret getting it?"
The question catches you off guard. Not because it's invasive—it's actually pretty reasonable given the context—but because of how genuinely he asks it. Like he really wants to know what you think. Not to judge, just to understand.
"No," you say after a moment. "No, I don't regret it. I wanted it. Chose it. This—This is just the shitty part. It'll pass."
"And this is something you want? Long-term?"
You nod, a little less certain than before but still sure enough.
"Yeah. I like not having to worry about it. Worth some pain now."
"Make sense. That's... smart." He tilts his head, that thoughtful look you rarely see crossing his features. "Planning ahead."
"One of us has to," you say without thinking.
His eyebrows shoot up. "Ouch. Direct hit, Nix."
"Sorry, I didn't mean—"
"Nah, it's fair." He cuts you off with a small laugh. "I'm not exactly Mr. Responsibility."
The self-awareness surprises you.
"You're not that bad."
"I’m not?”
“Okay I take it back.”
He chuckles.
The pain stabs again, sharper this time, and you can't quite hide the wince. His expression shifts immediately.
"Need to move around? Sometimes that helps."
You consider it. Sitting here isn't doing much except letting you focus on how much it hurts.
“Maybe."
"Think the ibuprofen's kicking in at all?"
His eyes scan your face, and you wonder what he sees there. Probably not the composed, controlled person you're trying to project.
"A little. It's not as bad as before."
"That's something." He stands, offering a hand but not insisting when you ignore it and push yourself up on your own. "We could head to the next gallery? Or go back to the one with that series you liked—the urban decay stuff."
The fact that he noticed which photographs caught your interest earlier shouldn't feel significant. It's just basic observation. Nothing special.
But it does. Feel significant, that is.
"Let's try the next one," you say, taking a tentative step. The pain doesn't immediately floor you, which is an improvement. "Slowly, though."
"No rush." He falls into step beside you, hands shoved in his pockets in that casual way he has, like he's completely at ease no matter where he is.
You nod, trying not to think about the surprise dinner. Trying even harder not to think about the stupid Mayer vinyl you bought him and the fact that all his film bros will be there.
"Thanks," you say after a few steps. "For not being weird about the IUD thing."
He glances at you, something almost like surprise flickering across his features before settling into a small smile.
“Nothing to be weird about. It's your body, Nix. Your choice."
"Yeah, but." You struggle to articulate what you mean. "Most guys would make some gross joke or get all squirmy talking about it."
"I'm not most guys."
"Okay pick me boy."
“And here we go again.” He snorts.
“Hey, you’re the one who said that generic ass shit.”
"Uh-uh, so," he says, deliberately casual as you round the corner into the next gallery space. "How do you feel about Mayer?"
You groan, shoving him lightly.
"I knew it. I fucking knew you were humming that shit on purpose."
He laughs, the sound warm and surprisingly genuine.
"Gravity is a classic! You can hate on the man all you want, but you can't deny the music."
"Watch me."
And just like that, you're arguing about John Mayer in the middle of the MoMA, the pain still there but somehow less important than this stupid debate about whether "Your Body Is A Wonderland" is the worst song ever written or just mostly terrible.
It's strange. Unexpected. Almost... nice
Maybe this friend thing isn't completely impossible after all.
New York smells different right before sunset.
The city air mellows somehow. Still dirty, still chaotic, but softer now. Like the golden hour light filtering through the buildings is actually changing the molecular structure of everything it touches.
Or maybe that's just the ibuprofen finally kicking in and making life worth living again. Hard to say.
Your phone pings as you walk beside Jungkook, the busy street full of that weird liminal energy between work day and evening. People rushing home, people headed out, everyone caught in that transitional space of not-quite-done and not-quite-started.
It's Yoongi, his message simple and direct:
𝐘𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬🎧: 𝙷𝚘𝚠’𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐? 𝚂𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚔?
You glance at Jungkook, who's completely absorbed in his own phone, thumbs tapping absently against the screen.
Focused. Unaware.
Perfect.
You send back a quick thumbs up emoji, ignoring the follow-up questions Yoongi's already typing. The less you engage, the less likely you are to give something away.
6:30 PM.
Just over an hour until you need to steer Jungkook to the ramen place for his surprise. An hour to fill without either dying from secret uterine rebellion or accidentally revealing the plan.
You slide your phone back into your pocket and lean slightly to see what's so captivating on Jungkook's screen.
Not that you care. Just curious. Normal curious, not weird curious.
Instagram?
He's editing a photo—one of the abstract architectural shots he took at the museum when you weren't paying attention.
It's actually... pretty good.
The photo highlights the sharp angles of the stairwell, light cutting through the space in a way that transforms something mundane into something almost ethereal.
"You have a photography Instagram?"
He startles, immediately angling the phone away from you with the guilty reflex of someone caught looking at porn in public.
"Yeah, but it's nothing important. Just, you know. Silly stuff."
That's... suspicious. Jungkook doesn't do self-deprecation, not about things he's clearly good at.
He's the first person to brag about his skills, his looks, his whatever. The fact that he's downplaying this is weird.
"What silly stuff?" You raise an eyebrow, trying to peer around his shoulder at the now-hidden screen. "Show me."
"No, seriously, it's no big deal." He actually puts his phone in his pocket, which is basically equivalent to locking it in a vault given how attached he usually is to the thing. "Just a hobby."
"Since when are you shy about anything?" You nudge his arm with your elbow, oddly intrigued by this sudden reluctance. "Come on, I’ll show you mine, you show me yours."
"Not everything has to be an innuendo, Phoenix."
"That wasn't—" You stop yourself, because okay, that did sound suggestive. "Come on, I let you drag me through an entire photography exhibition. The least you could do is let me see your supposed 'silly' photography Instagram."
He's not looking at you now, eyes fixed somewhere to the left, scanning the street like he's searching for an escape route.
Then his face changes, relief washing over his features as he spots something across the way.
"Hey, wanna check that out?"
He points toward a small storefront wedged between a vintage clothing shop and a bubble tea place. The sign reads 'String Theory: DIY Jewelry & Crafts' in quirky hand-painted letters.
"A bracelet shop?" You follow his gaze, genuinely confused by the abrupt change of subject. "Seriously?"
"Yeah, why not?" He's already moving toward the crosswalk, clearly eager to leave the Instagram conversation behind. "Could be fun."
"Since when do you care about DIY bracelets?"
He shrugs, the movement a little too casual to be genuine. "Since right now. Come on, Nix. Live a little."
You narrow your eyes, suspicious of this sudden interest in arts and crafts, but follow him anyway.
Because in all honesty… The distraction isn't unwelcome—you've still got an hour to kill, and arguing about his secret Instagram account wasn't exactly on your agenda for the day.
Plus, whatever he's hiding must be good if he's willing to make friendship bracelets to avoid talking about it.
You approach the shop, and it is small but bright, walls lined with colorful spools of thread, beads in every imaginable shape and size, and an assortment of charms that range from the typical (hearts, stars, moons) to the bizarre (tiny plastic dinosaurs, miniature food items, and what appears to be a collection of famous dictators' faces).
A twenty-something with purple hair and more piercings than you can count greets you from behind the counter.
"Welcome to String Theory! Let me know if you need help finding anything."
Jungkook nods in acknowledgement, already wandering toward a display of leather cords and metal clasps. You follow, still puzzled by this whole detour.
"So this is what we're doing now? Making friendship bracelets?" You pick up a spool of neon green thread, turning it over in your fingers. "Is this your way of making our friendship official? Should we be getting cards and flowers too?"
He snorts, examining a tray of silver charms with unexpected interest.
"If anyone's getting flowers in this scenario, it's me. I'm high maintenance."
"Yeah, no shit."
He glances at you, that familiar half-smile playing at the corner of his mouth.
“We don't have to stay if you don't want to. Just thought it might be..." He trails off, shrugging again in that way he does when he's trying to seem indifferent.
"What? Entertaining? A good way to avoid showing me your Instagram?"
"Both." He picks up a small wolf charm, turning it over in his fingers. "But mostly I thought it might be fun. You know, do something with our hands that isn't..."
He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.
"And there's the innuendo. I was wondering how long you could go without making it weird."
"About thirty seconds, apparently." He sets the charm down, moving on to a collection of colored stones. "So, you want to make something or not?"
You consider it.
On one hand, making bracelets seems like a throwback to summer camp or middle school sleepovers—not exactly your usual Saturday night activity.
On the other hand, you've got time to kill, and it's oddly... refreshing to see Jungkook interested in something so innocuous.
Plus, you're still curious about that Instagram account, and maybe if you play along with this diversion, he'll eventually let his guard down enough to show you.
"Fine." You grab a small plastic basket from a stack near the entrance. "But I'm not making anything with your name on it, so don't get any ideas."
"Wouldn't dream of it." His smile widens into something more genuine. "Though I bet you'd rock a ‘Kuko 4-Ever' bracelet."
"I'd rather die, thanks."
You move along the wall, selecting threads in deep blues and purples because they're pretty, not because they remind you of the way Jungkook's hair sometimes looks in certain light. That would be stupid.
"So," you say casually, examining a tray of small metallic beads, "are you going to tell me about this secret Instagram account or what?"
He sighs, the sound more resigned than annoyed. "It's not secret. It's just... separate."
"Separate from what?"
"From me. From Jungkook. It's just a creative outlet, okay? Nothing special."
"But good enough that you don't want to show me."
He looks at you then, really looks at you, and there's something unexpectedly vulnerable in his expression.
"It's not that I don't want to show you. It's just... people get weird about it."
"Weird how?"
"They either think it's pretentious or they make too big a deal out of it." He moves to another display, this one filled with various charms. "It's easier to just keep it separate."
You follow him, curiosity piqued even further.
Jungkook, who walks around the apartment half-naked without a second thought, who leaves his dirty laundry in the most inconvenient places possible, who has absolutely no qualms about sharing the explicit details of his sex life—this same Jungkook is suddenly shy about his photography?
"I won't make it weird," you offer, surprising yourself with the sincerity in your voice. "Promise."
He looks skeptical. "You make everything weird, Nix. It's your special talent."
"Fuck off." You snatch a small charm from the tray without really looking at it—something circular with delicate metalwork. "I can appreciate art without being weird about it."
"It's not really art. Just photos."
"Of what?"
He hesitates, fingers tracing the edge of a tray.
"Mostly urban stuff. Architecture. Shadows. Light. Some nature." A shrug. "Just things I find interesting."
"That actually sounds cool."
He glances at you like he's checking for signs of mockery, then seems to decide you're being genuine.
"Yeah, well. Maybe I'll show you. Someday."
It's not a yes, but it's not a hard no either.
You'll take it.
"Cool." You move to the register, where the purple-haired employee is arranging a display of finished samples. "So how do we actually do this bracelet thing? I haven't made one since I was like, twelve."
"You think I have?" Jungkook laughs, setting his basket beside yours on the counter. "I'm flying blind here too."
The employee—Ash, according to their name tag—smiles.
“That's what I'm here for. What kind of bracelet are you thinking? We've got traditional friendship styles, leather wraps, beaded, charm..."
"Whatever's easiest," you say at the same time Jungkook says, "The coolest one."
Ash's smile widens. "How about a leather cord with beads? Simple but looks great."
"Sounds good," Jungkook agrees, emptying his basket on the counter. "Can we work on them here?"
"Absolutely. Let me set you up at the table in the back."
As you follow Ash toward a small workshop area in the rear of the store, your phone buzzes again. You check it discreetly.
𝐓𝐚𝐞🎨: 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢. 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚢 𝟾. 𝚑𝚘𝚋𝚒’𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜.
You glance at the time.
6:45 PM.
Just over an hour left of... this. This strange, not entirely unpleasant detour into something that feels almost like friendship.
You slip your phone away before Jungkook can see, ignoring the small voice in the back of your mind that wonders what other secrets he might be keeping, and why you suddenly care so much about finding them out.
Ash sets you up at a small wooden table pressed right against the front window.
"So, what are we making?" Jungkook asks, already rummaging through his selection of beads like a kid sorting Halloween candy.
You don't answer immediately, an idea taking shape as you run your fingers over the threads and beads scattered across the table. Your eyes catch on the small containers of alphabet beads near the edge of the table, then drift to the vibrant collection of orange, red, and yellow beads in various shapes and finishes.
Perfect.
You pull the alphabet containers closer, fishing out specific letters: P, H, O, E, N, I, X. Setting them in a neat line in front of you, you reach for more: R, O, G, U, E.
Jungkook watches, brows drawing closer together as he pieces together what you're doing.
When recognition hits, he laughs—short and surprised.
"Okay, seriously? You're making Phoenix and Rogue bracelets now?"
You shrug, reaching for the orange, red, and yellow beads, arranging them between the letters.
"What? Hell yeah. We already branded each other, might as well make it something to remember each other by."
"You think I want to walk around with a bracelet that says 'Rogue' on my wrist?"
He looks genuinely baffled, like you've suggested he tattoo your face on his ass.
"I don't care what you do with it." You roll your eyes, already threading through the first bead. "I'm making mine."
He snorts, but instead of arguing further, he actually helps you sort through the letter beads, pushing the ones you need closer. Then, to your surprise, he reaches for the same fiery-colored beads you've been using.
"What?" he says, catching your look. "If we're doing this ridiculous twin bracelet thing, they might as well match."
"I thought you'd go for all black or something."
He shrugs, picking out a particularly vibrant red bead.
"Rogues can be fiery too. Besides," he adds with a half-smile, "these are my colors."
"Your colors?"
"Yeah." He lays out a pattern—red, orange, yellow, just like yours. "Warm tones. Bold. Kind of obnoxious if you use too many at once."
"Sounds like someone I know," you mutter, and he chuckles.
Your fingers work almost automatically, threading beads onto the leather cord. You're not being symbolic on purpose. It just looks nice.
When you glance up, Jungkook is staring at his own pile of beads, expression oddly distant.
He's rolling a small sun charm between his fingers, back and forth, like he's trying to make a decision.
"What?" you ask, because his silence feels weird.
He shrugs, the motion feeling slightly too forced on him.
"Nothing. Just..." He sets the charm down, picks up a red bead instead. "I actually had one of these. A bracelet. When I was a kid."
This feels like something—a small piece of himself he's offering without being pushed.
So you keep your tone light when you ask.
"Yeah? What kind?"
"Leather, like this." He picks up one of the cords, wrapping it around his wrist to measure before cutting it. "With these bright beads my mom found at some market. Reds and oranges, kind of like these. I wore it until it literally fell apart."
"How old were you?"
"I don't know. Ten? Eleven?" He shrugs again. "Young enough that it was still cool, not lame."
"And now?"
His eyes flick up to yours, then away. "Now what?"
"Is it lame now?"
His expression wavers, tightening around the mouth.
"Nah, it's whatever." He starts threading red and orange beads onto his cord, precise and quick. "Just not something guys usually wear, you know? Unless they're trying to be edgy or something."
"Since when do you care about what's 'usually' done?"
He laughs, but it sounds different than his normal laugh—a little hollow, a little forced.
"Fair point."
You work in silence for a few minutes, with some accompanying sounds; like the soft click of beads and the occasional muttered curse when you drop one.
A yellow bead rolls across the table toward Jungkook, who catches it easily.
"Thanks," you mutter as he hands it back.
"No problem." He pauses, looking at the half-finished bracelet in his hands. "I lied, by the way."
"About what?"
"My mom didn't find the beads." He keeps his eyes on his work, not looking at you. "I did. She just helped me put it together because I was too small to handle the clasps."
Something about the way he says it makes your chest tighten—like this isn't just a random childhood memory but something… soft.
Something he doesn't share often.
"That's sweet," you say, matching his tone. "You don't talk about your mom much."
He tenses, and you inwardly curse yourself.
"Not much to say."
That's a lie if you've ever heard one, but you don't push. Whatever this is—this small opening, it feels fragile. Like pressing too hard would make him shut down completely.
"Mine would've hated this place," you offer instead. "Too messy. Too handmade. Not enough structure."
His lips twitch, almost a smile.
"Mine would've loved it. She was always into this crafty shit. Had a whole room full of art supplies back when..." He trails off, shakes his head. "Anyway. How's yours coming?"
The abrupt subject change is obvious, but you let it slide.
"Almost done. Just need the clasp."
You hold up your creation for inspection. It's nothing fancy—just a simple leather cord with 'PHOENIX' spelled out in silver letter beads, filled with the fiery colored ones you picked.
But it looks kind of cool, in a childish, summer-camp sort of way.
Jungkook leans forward to look, his expression warming.
"Not bad, Nix. Very on-brand."
"Let me see yours."
He hesitates, then holds out his own bracelet. It's just like yours to match, with 'ROGUE' spelled out in metal letter beads. But he’s added a small sun charm that catches the light when he moves.
"Shit," you say, genuinely impressed. "Yours is way better than mine."
He shrugs, but you can tell he's pleased by the compliment.
“I have an eye for design. Part of my many talents."
"And so humble, too."
"Humility is overrated." He sets his bracelet down, reaching for the clasps Ash left for you. "Here, let me help you finish yours."
His fingers brush against yours as he takes your bracelet, the touch brief but somehow startling.
You watch as he attaches the clasp with surprising dexterity, tattooed fingers moving deftly, and it’s kind of attractive, really.
How good he is with his hands when he wants to be.
"There," he says, holding it out to you. "All set."
“Wait,” you announce, searching through the charms box.
You swear you had seen a rain charm earlier, and you had briefly snickered at it. But now that he’s wearing the sun charm it feels oddly… like yours needs to have the rain one, just to contrary him.
So you pick it up, add it to your bracelet.
And then you smile at him, show him.
He snorts.
You turn it in your hand. It feels solid, real. A physical manifestation of the nickname he gave you—the one that used to annoy you but now feels almost like a strange term of endearment.
Ash then approaches your table, a small fabric-lined box in her hands.
"All finished? Those look great!"
You both nod, holding up your creations for inspection.
"Phoenix and Rogue," she reads, smiling. "And they match! The fire colors work perfectly for both."
"Yeah," Jungkook says, and you're surprised by the hint of pride in his voice. "Kind of the point."
"Perfect timing, then," Ash says, setting the box on the table. "We're actually starting a new community art project. Would you be interested in contributing your bracelets?"
You frown, confused.
"Contributing how?"
"We're collecting handmade bracelets from customers to create a wall installation," she explains, gesturing toward a corner of the shop where several bracelets are already displayed on a corkboard. "It's part of our five-year anniversary celebration. Everyone who contributes gets a polaroid of their bracelet and a discount on their next visit."
"Oh." You look down at your bracelet, feeling an unexpected reluctance to part with it.
Which is stupid, because what were you going to do with it anyway?
Wear it?
That would be weird.
"You don't have to," Ash adds quickly, picking up on your hesitation. "It's totally optional."
"No, it's cool," Jungkook says, already placing his bracelet in the box. "I like the idea."
You glance at him, surprised again.
"You do?"
"Yeah. Creating something that stays here, becomes part of the place." He shrugs. "Better than it ending up in a drawer somewhere, right?"
There's something about the way he says it—like he's not just talking about the bracelet anymore—that makes you pause.
But then he's looking at you expectantly, waiting for your decision, and you place your bracelet in the box beside his, the matching colors side by side.
"For the record," you say as Ash takes a polaroid of your creations side by side, "I would've worn mine."
Jungkook's smile is slow and surprisingly gentle.
“Yeah?"
"Maybe not in public," you clarify quickly. "But yeah."
"Me too," he admits quietly, and it feels like he's sharing another secret—small but somehow significant. "Don't tell anyone, though. Ruins my image."
"What image? The one where you pretend to be cool but actually know an alarming amount about John Mayer's discography?"
"Exactly that one." He grins, the most genuine expression you've seen from him all day. "It's carefully curated."
Ash returns with your polaroid and receipt, both bracelets now part of the store's growing collection.
"Come back anytime to see them. They'll be here as long as we are."
"Thanks," Jungkook says, taking the polaroid and tucking it carefully into his wallet.
As you step back out onto the sidewalk, the city bathed in the deepening gold of late afternoon, you feel strangely light despite the lingering pain in your abdomen.
You reach for your phone to check the time, only to find your pocket empty.
"Shit," you mutter, patting your other pockets frantically. "My phone."
Jungkook stops mid-stretch.
"You lose it?"
"Must have left it in the shop." You're already turning back toward the door. "Wait here, I'll be quick."
"Want me to—"
"No, it's fine," you say, perhaps too quickly. "Just give me a second."
The bell chimes as you push back into the store, Ash looking up from behind the counter, eyebrows raised in question.
"Forgot my phone," you explain, gesturing vaguely toward the table where you were sitting.
"No problem. Take your time."
You move quickly to the table, eyes already scanning for your missing device.
Three minutes later, you're back outside, phone safely in hand. Jungkook's leaning against a lamppost, scrolling through something on his own phone.
"Got it?" he asks without looking up.
"Yeah."
You slip it into your pocket without checking the time.
"Ready?"
He pushes off the lamppost.
"Lead the way."
You start walking toward the subway entrance, mentally calculating the time. It must be around 7:20 now. Perfect timing to get to the restaurant by 8.
"Hungry?" you ask, as casually as you can manage.
Jungkook stretches again, arms reaching skyward in a motion that draws your eyes despite yourself.
"Starving. What did you have in mind?"
"I know a place," you say, already angling toward the stairs. "Trust me."
And the weird thing is, from the way he falls into step beside you without question, it seems like he actually does.
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The first thing to say about the hate and scorn currently directed at the mainstream US media is that they worked hard to earn it. They’ve done so by failing, repeatedly, determinedly, spectacularly to do their job, which is to maintain their independence, inform the electorate, and speak truth to power. While the left has long had reasons to dismiss centrist media, and the right has loathed it most when it did do its job well, the moderates who are furious at it now seem to be something new – and a host of former editors, media experts and independent journalists have been going after them hard this summer.
Longtime journalist James Fallows declares that three institutions – the Republican party, the supreme court, and the mainstream political press – “have catastrophically failed to ‘meet the moment’ under pressure of [the] Trump era”. Centrist political reformer and columnist Norm Ornstein states that these news institutions “have had no reflection, no willingness to think through how irresponsible and reckless so much of our mainstream press and so many of our journalists have been and continue to be”.
Most voters, he says, “have no clue what a second Trump term would actually be like. Instead, we get the same insipid focus on the horse race and the polls, while normalizing abnormal behavior and treating this like a typical presidential election, not one that is an existential threat to democracy.”
Lamenting the state of the media recently on X, Jeff Jarvis, another former editor and newspaper columnist, said: “What ‘press’? The broken and vindictive Times? The newly Murdochian Post? Hedge-fund newspaper husks? Rudderless CNN or NPR? Murdoch’s fascist media?”
These critics are responding to how the behemoths of the industry seem intent on bending the facts to fit their frameworks and agendas. In pursuit of clickbait content centered on conflicts and personalities, they follow each other into informational stampedes and confirmation bubbles.
They pursue the appearance of fairness and balance by treating the true and the false, the normal and the outrageous, as equally valid and by normalizing Republicans, especially Donald Trump, whose gibberish gets translated into English and whose past crimes and present-day lies and threats get glossed over. They neglect, again and again, important stories with real consequences. This is not entirely new – in a scathing analysis of 2016 election coverage, the Columbia Journalism Review noted that “in just six days, The New York Times ran as many cover stories about Hillary Clinton’s emails as they did about all policy issues combined in the 69 days leading up to the election” – but it’s gotten worse, and a lot of insiders have gotten sick of it.
In July, ordinary people on social media decided to share information about the rightwing Project 2025 and did a superb job of raising public awareness about it, while the press obsessed about Joe Biden’s age and health. NBC did report on this grassroots education effort, but did so using the “both sides are equally valid” framework often deployed by mainstream media, saying the agenda is “championed by some creators as a guide to less government oversight and slammed by others as a road map to an authoritarian takeover of America”. There is no valid case it brings less government oversight.
In an even more outrageous case, the New York Times ran a story comparing the Democratic and Republican plans to increase the housing supply – which treated Trump’s plans for mass deportation of undocumented immigrants as just another housing-supply strategy that might work or might not. (That it would create massive human rights violations and likely lead to huge civil disturbances was one overlooked factor, though the fact that some of these immigrants are key to the building trades was mentioned.)
Other stories of pressing concern are either picked up and dropped or just neglected overall, as with Trump’s threats to dismantle a huge portion of the climate legislation that is both the Biden administration’s signal achievement and crucial for the fate of the planet. The Washington Post editorial board did offer this risibly feeble critique on 17 August: “It would no doubt be better for the climate if the US president acknowledged the reality of global warming – rather than calling it a scam, as Mr Trump has.”
While the press blamed Biden for failing to communicate his achievements, which is part of his job, it’s their whole job to do so. The Climate Jobs National Resource Center reports that the Inflation Reduction Act has created “a combined potential of over $2tn in investment, 1,091,966 megawatts of clean power, and approximately 3,947,670 jobs”, but few Americans have any sense of what the bill has achieved or even that the economy is by many measures strong.
Last winter, the New York Times columnist Paul Krugman, who has a Nobel prize in economics, told Greg Sargent on the latter’s Daily Blast podcast that when he writes positive pieces about the Biden economy, his editor asks “don’t you want to qualify” it; “aren’t people upset by X, Y and Z and shouldn’t you be acknowledging that?”
Meanwhile in an accusatory piece about Kamala Harris headlined When your opponent calls you ‘communist,’ maybe don’t propose price controls?, a Washington Post columnist declares in another case of bothsiderism: “Voters want to blame someone for high grocery bills, and the presidential candidates have apparently decided the choices are either the Biden administration or corporate greed. Harris has chosen the latter.” The evidence that corporations have jacked up prices and are reaping huge profits is easy to find, but facts don’t matter much in this kind of opining.
It’s hard to gloat over the decline of these dinosaurs of American media, when a free press and a well-informed electorate are both crucial to democracy. The alternatives to the major news outlets simply don’t reach enough readers and listeners, though the non-profit investigative outfit ProPublica and progressive magazines such as the New Republic and Mother Jones, are doing a lot of the best reporting and commentary.
Earlier this year, when Alabama senator Katie Britt gave her loopy rebuttal to Biden’s State of the Union address, it was an independent journalist, Jonathan Katz, who broke the story on TikTok that her claims about a victim of sex trafficking contained significant falsehoods. The big news outlets picked up the scoop from him, making me wonder what their staffs of hundreds were doing that night.
A host of brilliant journalists young and old, have started independent newsletters, covering tech, the state of the media, politics, climate, reproductive rights and virtually everything else, but their reach is too modest to make them a replacement for the big newspapers and networks. The great exception might be historian Heather Cox Richardson, whose newsletter and Facebook followers give her a readership not much smaller than that of the Washington Post. The tremendous success of her sober, historically grounded (and footnoted!) news summaries and reflections bespeaks a hunger for real news.
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I BET You Think About Me
SYNOPSIS: being Theo’s girlfriend is a dream… until you find out why he asked you out in the first place.
FANDOM: Harry Potter
PAIRING(S): Theodore Nott x fem!reader
RATING: PG
CHARACTERS MENTIONED: Enzo, Blaise, Draco, Mattheo, Pansy, Snape
GENRE/AU: Snape’s Daughter!Reader, Asks you out cause of a bet, kind of angsty, kind of fluffy, slytherin!reader
WORD COUNT: 2.6K
WARNINGS: swearing and kissing.
A/N: agh. It’s 3 in the morning. Enjoy. May have a tiny bit of pacing issues but it’s fine
DEDICATIONS: the polls who decided they wanted Theo while I decided I was gonna post Mattheo and Rhysand instead.
CREDITS: n/a
…Six Months Ago….
——————————————————————————
“You can’t do it, Theo.” Draco says plainly. “If she’s anything like her father she won’t be able to feel that kind of emotion.”
Theo shakes his head. “She’s still a girl.”
Mattheo snorts, Enzo sputters. “That’s a bit sexist, Theo.” Enzo says, looking over at Y/n L/n.
She’s Severus Snape’s daughter and completely untouchable. Theo hasn’t seen a single guy going out with her in the whole six years they’d been at hogwarts.
That might be because of her father.
“Draco’s right.” Mattheo says. “She’ll never fall for you.”
“I’m gonna prove you guys wrong and you’re gonna owe me a shit ton of money for it.”
…. One Month Ago ….
——————————————————————————
Mattheo stares at you as you walks away. “Damn, I guess you were right.” Both him and Draco reach for their wallets but Theo waves them off.
“I don’t want it— any of it.” It felt for him wrong to take the money from the bet. Theo had fallen for you just as hard— if not harder— as you’d fallen for him.
Hell, Theo would kiss the ground you walked on if you asked him.
“What do you mean?” Blaise asks incredulously. “You won the bet.”
Theo furrows his eyebrows. “Whatever, I don’t want the money.”
They all stare at him.
One, two, three minutes of silence before Mattheo blurts out: “Oh my god. Theo fell for her.” He starts to laugh, and the other boy's eyes widen.
“Wow. That’s a little bit pathetic, Theo.” Draco teases.
Pansy slides in beside Blaise. “Wow. Famous playboy Theodore Nott fell for someone?” She snickers. “Who?”
Theo deadpans. “What do you mean who?” You are Pansy’s roommate after all, Pansy should better than anybody.
Her face falls. “You don’t mean y/n. do you?” Theo nods and she gives him an exasperated look. “Theo! You literally only dated her to win a bet!”
“Yeah, I know!” He retorts. A beat of silence, then, “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“You have to tell her.” Enzo cuts in. “If you truly like her, it isn’t something you can keep secret.”
Theo nods his head absentmindedly. “I know, I know. I’ll tell her soon.”
He didn’t want his new relationship to end before it ever began.
….Present….
——————————————————————————
Today, you woke up late, stubbed your toe on your bed and then spent the ten minutes you had to get ready looking for your damned potions book.
When you’d finally found it, threw on your uniform and got your hair into some sort of presentable, you rushed out your dorm and down the hallways as fast as your feet would take you.
Your class was on the opposite side of Hogwarts and you were already ten minutes late.
In your haste, you aren’t watching for other people in front of you and run straight into someone.
“I’m so sorry!” You exclaim frantically, picking up your books as she picks up hers.
She looks familiar but you don’t know her name.
“No, it’s okay— Oh.” Her faces twists into a scowl when she meets your gaze. “You’re Theo’s ‘Girlfriend’” she airquotes as she says ‘girlfriend’, causing you to narrow your eyes at here.
You furrow your eyebrows. “Uhm, yeah, I am. Why did you say it like that?”
She crosses her arms. “Because you and I both know that he doesn’t actually like you. You’re not his girlfriend.”
“And who, exactly, are you?” You ask, annoyance settling in your chest.
She looks down at you, a cocky expression written on her face. “You should probably just stay away from him, you know that, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Really, he’s going to be mine so I don’t even know what you’re doing.” She waves you off, as if she truly believes this.
You shuffle your books around in your arms and shift your weight into your other leg. “You do know that you’re not his girlfriend, right?”
“Whatever.” She shrugs, and you still don’t know her name. “Doesn’t matter if he calls you his girlfriend, it’s not like you’re a threat anyway.”
What does she mean ‘not a threat’? You feel like that’s a sentence better used to describe her considering, you’re Theo’s actual girlfriend. “What is that supposed to mean?” You ask incredulously but still relatively calm.
She gives you a mock sympathetic expression. “Oh, Sweetheart,” She starts, taunting you with each syllable. “You didn’t really think someone like Theo would settle down for someone like you… do you? I mean, he’s all parties and good times and you’re… well, you can’t even dress yourself properly.”
She looks you up and down, from your half-untucked uniform shirt to your loose tie and your unwrinkled skirt. You’re not usually this messed up. “Clearly, I do, because he did.” You pause, sigh deeply and roll your eyes. “Why am I even entertaining this conversation?” You turn away from her, preparing to tune her out and walk away.
She tuts, shaking her head. “Because you obviously know you mean nothing to him— after all when your relationship starts with a bet, I don’t think it’s ever been super stable.”
This makes you stop and turn back to her. “A bet?” You say it slowly and the words taste awful on your tongue. “What bet?”
She scoffs-laughs and smiles evilly. “Oops, did I say too much?”
Theo chooses this moment to walk up behind the two of your . He slides his hand around my waist, letting it rest there as he stands beside me. “Are you okay? You’re super late.” He asks, looking you over. His eyes flit over to the girl who was talking to you and his nose scrunched. “Why are you talking to Tracey?”
Tracey, that’s her name.
I don’t think he likes her too much.
Tracey opens her mouth to respond but I cut her off and begin dragging Theo away. “I don’t even know, Theo, let’s go.”
I can feel Tracey’s glare until we’re well out of her line of sight.
Jealous.
……
You can’t get Tracey’s words out of your head. You know it was a tactic to rile you up and, you suppose, it worked but you had this horrible feeling that maybe she wasn’t lying.
Asking Theo about it though? That was hard; you didn’t want him to think you didn’t trust him but you also didn’t want to get upset before you knew whether it was true or not.
You decided to ask one or two other people before Theo. Pansy Parkinson, was first. She’s been your friend since first year but she hung out with Theo’s group long before you ever did.
“Hey, Pansy.” You say airily. She looks up at you and smiles.
The bed creaks as you fall down onto it and sigh. “Can I ask you a random question?” You ask, fidgeting with the corner of your blankets.
She looks up at you expectantly but also with a good deal of worry. “Yeah, of course; What’s up?”
She shifts in her spot at the end of her bed, turning her full attention to me.
“Did you ever… I don’t know,” you stop, trying to find the correct words. “Did you ever hear anything about Me, Theo and a bet? While you were, like, hanging out with them.”
Pansy looks down at your fidgeting fingers and then furrows her eyebrows. She thinks about it for a minute, and her face drops so slightly I almost don’t catch it. “Oh, y/n…” she trails off. “He didn’t tell you?”
Every muscle in your body locks up. “He didn’t tell me what?” You don’t think you really want the confirmation now that you know it’s coming.
Pansy stands and then sits down next to you and pulls you into her in a side hug. “When Theo started trying to get with you it was because of a bet.” She stops but you just gesture for her to continue. “… I wasn’t actively apart of this conversation so I only got the gist of it but I was there.”
“What was the bet.” You say, with your eyes hot and your throat restricted. Your tone makes it seem like it wasn’t a question.
“The boys bet him that he couldn’t make the next woman he saw fall in love with him by the end of the year.” She gives your a sad smile. “I guess the next woman was you.”
What. The. Fuck. You’re gonna kill him, because he obviously won that goddamn bet already. You give Pansy a quick squeeze and then stand up. “I need to go talk to him.”
Pansy nods and walks back to her own bed, waving bye as you walk through the door.
Your vision is a bit blurry and your hands are shaking with betrayal and anger as you storm away from the girl’s dorms and right through the common room to the boy’s dorms.
When you reach his door, you knock loudly, despite it being late.
Draco answers. He looks you up and down and then turns his back halfway to you. “Theo, your girlfriend is here.”
Theo appears a moment later, an easy smile and his piercing eyes that you want to love so badly right now. He gently moves you back a bit and steps out of the dorm. “Hey, Baby, what’s up?”
You shudder at the pet name and his face drops. “Oh, I don’t know, Theo.”
He pulls you to the other side of the hall and keeps his hands on your arms, comforting both yourself and him. “What’s wrong? Did somebody do something to you?”
The worry on his face seems so genuine, you almost want to believe the bet was a lie— but you’re not that stupid.
“Yeah, Theo, someone hurt me.” You pause. “It was you and your fucking bet.”
He freezes. “Shit. Who told you about that?”
You don’t want to— no, you can’t look in his eyes. “That girl, Tracey, and then Pansy filled in the finer details.” You’re arms are crossed now and he can’t hold you like he was before. “Is that seriously the only thing you care about right now— actually, obviously it would be because I’m just a bet, right?”
He opens his mouth to speak but you don’t let him. “Actually,” you continue. “I don’t want to hear it— just, have a good life, Theo. I’d say we’re over but I don’t think we really ever started to begin with.”
You walk away before you second-guess yourself and ignore as he calls your name. He doesn’t run after you, which you’re equally glad for and disappointed by.
God, you don’t think your heart has ever hurt this bad.
…..
You haven’t seen Theo in class for the whole week after you ‘broke up’; you’ve seen glimpses of him outside, always smoking, or eating in the Great Hall but it’s like he’s intentionally missing every class you have together.
He probably is.
He shouldn't have that right. You’re the one who gets to avoid him, he doesn’t get to avoid you.
You’re the one who got played like a violin and ended up battered and bruised.
You don’t see him for most of your days, but, when you do— when you look at him, his eyes are always already on you.
As a result the other Slytherin boys glance at you while he stares, because of how intensely he does so. You can feel his eyes burning holes into you at all times.
You try your best to ignore him as you stand to leave the Great Hall.
A boy stops you near the entrance, you think you recognize him. He’s the same year as you, and pretty nice as far as you know. His name is Lucas, you’re pretty sure.
“Hey.” Lucas says warmly. “How are you?”
He’s a bit close, and you’re sort of backed into the wall. You laugh awkwardly. “I’m alright, um, how are you?”
He smiles. “About the same,” he looks behind him and then back at you, same easy-going smile that isn’t easy the way Theo’s is. “Anyways, I was wondering… since you broke up with Nott, maybe you’d wanna go out sometime? With me?”
“She doesn’t.”
Lucas’s shoulders jump at the sound of Theo’s voice and he backs away from you and spins to look at Theo, whose standing there with a dangerous look on his face.
You glare at him. “Maybe I do want to.” It’s a challenge and Theo knows it.
Lucas sputters. “You know, I actually realized I’m busy, so…” he scrambles off after that you’re left with Theo.
You scowl at him. “Theo, what the fuck?”
“He’s not good enough for you.” He shrugs like he knows what’s good enough for you. Mr. Bet-Winner.
Your heart aches in your chest just looking at him. “And how would you know what’s good enough for me, Theo? because you sure as hell weren’t.”
He scowls now. “I treated you like you were a fucking princess, Y/n, all he would’ve done was treat you like a piece of ass.”
You huff. “A princess, Theo? None of it was even real!” You spin to walk away but Theo catches your wrist and pulls you back; he slips his other arm around your waist and pulls you right to his chest. Your faces almost touch.
Your breath hitches like the traitor that it is.
He pulls your hand up to rest on his chest, where his heart beats hard and erratically. “Does this feel fake to you?” Theo’s fingers dig lightly into your waist. “Do you honestly think that all of that— everything we said and did— meant nothing?”
His breath fans across your face.
Your whole body feels like it’s on fire, and he’s the ice bucket that can save you— but your pride and anger are like the fires of hell; irreparable.
“You took a bet to make me fall for you, Theo, and lucky for you, you won it. How much was I worth, huh?”
He replies almost instantly. “I didn’t take any money, Y/n.” Theo breathes deeply and you feel his chest rise and fall, forcing yours to do the same.
“You— what?” You can feel your resolve cracking, the hope leaking through that somehow you were wrong.
“Let me explain the full story.” He waits for you to give him confirmation; you nod and he continues. “Yes, it started with the bet, and yes, I had never planned for it to last. It was cruel and mean, and I’m sorry. But the thing is, I didn’t anticipate that I would end up falling in love with you right back.” The words feel like a kick to the heart.
“But, on the other hand, how could I not? You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and you’re intelligent and funny, you laugh at all my stupid jokes. You love potions more than any other class and you’re really good at it too.” He stops. “Y/n, you’re perfect and I’m so, so sorry I never told you— or, even worse, that I did it in the first place.”
Your heart skips several beats. “Oh.”
“Oh?”
“Oh.” You’re at a loss for words.
He just looks you over, trying to assess what’s running through your mind like he always does. “Please forgive me, Y/n. I love you so much it hurts.”
You pull away from him and he reluctantly lets go, his shoulders sagging in defeat.
“You’re serious?” You ask quietly. “No bets this time? Nothing you haven’t told me?”
He shakes his head, giving you the saddest, puppy-dog look, unintentionally.
You’re silent for another long moment before, finally, you say: “you love me?”
Theo looks into your eyes. “God, yes.”
“Okay.” You say softly.
He straightens. “Okay, you’ll get back together with me or Okay, I don’t forgive you?”
You hold up one finger and he seems to understand because he pulls you back into him so quickly and presses his lips to mine; you kiss him back, and kind of stand there, kissing, for a long moment. Probably longer than you should’ve.
But you wish he never had to stop.
All content belongs to @beingsuneone , do not repost, copy or post on other platforms without my permission.
#harry potter#harry potter x reader#hp x reader#theodore nott x reader#theo nott#theo nott x reader#theodore nott#theo x reader#hp characters#x reader#the slytherin boys#slytherin boys#slytherin#slytherin boys x reader#slytherin boys x you#theodore nott x you#theodore nott x y/n
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My guide to˚⊹.⋆𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋. romanticising life ⋆.ೃ࿔*



Life is truly the most important gift of all and I feel like too many people don't actually take it seriously enough or are just afraid of what anybody else might say if they choose to live the way they have always wanted to. Wasting the only opportunity to cherish this gift of life that we have been blessed with is the worst thing you could ever do for yourself. Imagine yourself 40 years from now, regretting that you wasted your teenage and adulthood years worrying about your looks, not enjoying good food, not taking care of yourself or being too careful of your budget and never getting the things you truly wanted. That's surely NOT how I'd like to spend my old age, and my ultimate goal is to think back and be happy that I lived my life exactly the way I wanted!
Romanticising life is all about turning every. little. moment. into something that makes YOU happy, no matter what society might think about it. It's a form of self expression that I fondly believe can help you become happy and at peace with your own self.
Here are some ways to romanticise your life:
ׂ╰┈➤ Stop consuming harmful media. Tiktok, for example, is such a bad place for your mental health and is constantly ruining your attention span and productivity, image of self but, most importantly, your HEALTH AND BEAUTY STANDARDS. It is also one of the causes of many mental health problems such as depression, eds, self h@rming or negative addictions, so try and avoid harmful social media as much as possible.
ׂ╰┈➤ Establish a morning and night routine. I promise this will make you feel so productive and in control of your life. Nothing fancy is necessary, just basic hygiene and skincare, having breakfast, maybe reading or journaling to wind down at night.
ׂ╰┈➤ Consistently work out. "Well Lynna how am I supposed to work out if you said to enjoy life??" Enjoying does not mean that you shouldn't take care of your body too. Find what works best for you and what makes you happy, don't jump into the youtube advanced workouts and then complain that you hate moving your body. Yoga and walks are such a good place to start, or 10 minute workouts a few times per week will make such a difference in both your mind and body. With just a bit of discipline and consistency you will start to love working out and move your body and tend to do it out of habit.
ׂ╰┈➤ Take yourself out for coffee or a pastry! Solo dates can be just as fun as normal ones.
ׂ╰┈➤ Spend more time with family and friends. Humans will not be with you forever and enjoying every moment with them is such an important thing in life.
ׂ╰┈➤ Buy pretty pajamas, light a candle, take long bubble baths, do a face mask, listen to calm music, read, paint, express yourself in any way you want.
ׂ╰┈➤ Clean your environment and surround yourself with the colors and furniture that you love.
ׂ╰┈➤ Dress the way you want to, not how everybody expects you to.
ׂ╰┈➤ Always try new things: that yoga class you heard from your friend, a new pastry that looked so good in the shop window, some book you saw online.
ׂ╰┈➤ Be open minded and present in your life. Live in the present and you will become happy with your past and future.
Although aesthetics do play a big part in romanticising, you can do it without spending a lot of money, effort or time. The need of making everything "aesthetic" is just as consuming and bad for you as not doing anything at all.
Learn to enjoy and cherish every little moment and that will bring you on the path of happiness. Please take good care of yourself, good luck on your wellness journey and thank you so much for reading this post!!
Love, L
#romantizing life#romanticise your life#girl diary#self love#wellness girl#becoming that girl#that girl aesthetic#it girl aesthetic#self improvement#self development#healthylifestyle#healthy girl#health and wellness#wellnessjourney#dream girl#dream girl journey#pink pilates princess#pink blog#pink aesthetic#pink pilates girl#pilates princess#clean girl aesthetic#glow up#this is a girlblog#female hysteria#feminism#girlblogging#girlhood#this is what makes us girls#girlblog
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˗ˏˋ pornstar!chris films with someone new ‧₊˚



꒰part two ✩꒱ (coming soon)
creeping into chris' condo as quiet as possible with a wrapped gift in hand, a large smile took up most of your face at the thought of him opening it. though, the more you explored the area, the more discouraged you got before eventually giving up with a loud sigh at the realization that he wasn't home. but then, where was he? he always told you when he was going to be out, but today? he didn't even so much as leave you a text.
if not for chris updating you on his whereabouts becoming routine, you truthfully would've thought nothing of his sudden absence, but with a confused look on your face, you found yourself setting his christmas present on the coffee table in front of you to plop down onto his couch. you slipped your phone out of your back pocket, instantly typing away at it.
it was simple and straight to the point, leaving no room for confusion; you'd never been the type to beat around the bush. you weren't upset, really—more like confused, is all. and you waited. sitting idly on his couch as you waited for that little 'delivered' alert to turn into 'read'.
it didn't.
not for a while, at least. you ended up leaving his house only about half an hour after you sent the message, seeing no reason in just sitting there overthinking it. but you still did. going on about your day, trying to distract yourself from that nagging voice in the back of your brain that whispered 'where's chris at? what's he doing?' and 'you're not special. he got bored of you, silly,' at any moment you weren't occupying your mind with something else.
you knew you were probably overreacting; being dramatic in a way chris wouldn't like if he could hear your thoughts. i mean, it's not even like you'd be that upset if he had gotten tired of you. he was only some good dick and a person to keep you company... every single day for the past month. shit, you needed to know. picking up your phone in a swift motion as you now sat on your own couch, having tried to watch a show as means to keep your mind off chris, you checked your notifications in hopes that you'd missed his text.
but something new caught your eye.
a notification from chris' twitter, far different than anything you'd imagined throughout the day. of course you clicked it, a small breath of relief coming from you as you'd immediately told yourself he must've been busy with his executives. oh, he was busy alright.
your eyebrows raised at the sight before you: a short clip of chris plowing into some blonde with big tits, her moaning and whining in such a forced way. he was grabbing and squeezing at them. i mean, shit, he wasn’t even a boobs guy. it was so unlike him, completely disregarding his original intent for his content—keep it authentic. the caption only contained the hub link, telling his fans to watch the full video there.
dread sounds about right. a look of dread spread across your face, as if you'd just witnessed your worst fear. except it wasn't your worst fear. at least you didn't think it was, until now.
without thinking, you found yourself in chris' messages again, seeing the 'delivered' alert still there like a taunt. it was a slap in the face, really. not even the fact that he'd went and filmed with someone else, but the way he'd so clearly purposely failed to give you any type of warning.
once you'd sent the message, seeing the little text below your blue message change to 'read' instantly, it all suddenly felt pointless — all the worrying throughout the day, the dread you felt when you watched the short clip chris posted, the hurt when you saw he ignored your message, and now, even the message you literally just sent to him.

w/c : 645
a/n : i'm gonna try to bust these out the best i can, but y'all might have to bare w me cs i'm proly the worlds slowest writer... this may overlap with the au calendar as well, so to be clear, this isn't my priority. if i have to postpone parts of this to keep up with the prompts, i will. that being said, hope you guys enjoy my first multi-part tumblr fic <3.
-love, your grandma cvnty ☆!
#cvntagious#★ ⋮ pornstar!chris#★ ⋮ naive!reader#chris#christopher#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo au#christopher sturniolo au#chris sturniolo fanfic#christopher sturniolo fanfic#christopher sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo angst#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#angst#smut
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Mama-in-Training.
Enji Todoroki X F! Reader (smut)

A/N: life has been whooping my ass, sorry for my inactivity!! i'm trying to post more often, so i might start queuing up some fics to keep posts kinda consistent :3 anyways, for today, i offer you a humble enji fic
Tags: age gap (early 20s — 50s), breeding, creampie, unprotected sex, use of "mommy" and "daddy", size kink/difference
Wordcount: 2.4k
After his divorce, it took Enji a few years to get back into dating. By the time he found you, all of his kids were well into adulthood and moved out. That was fine with you, it would have probably been awkward to play step-mom to his kids who were the same age as you.
However, that didn't mean that you didn't want children of your own. You never really brought it up with your now husband, seeing as he already had a bunch of them. You assumed he didn't want any more, that he was tired. That's the thing about age gaps— you're always in a different stage in life from your partner. It's hard to keep up.
You sat with him in the dining room, quietly eating breakfast together. He was shuffling through a newspaper, his stoic face in tact.
Well, no time like the present. You decided to bring it up.
You took a sip from your tea cup before placing it down gently on the table. You folded your hands on your lap and leaned forward a bit, trying to get his attention.
"Enji."
"Hm?" Enji hummed absentmindedly in response, not taking his eyes off the newspaper for a few more seconds. He reached over and grabbed his own cup to take a sip, his eyes skimming across something in the paper before finally putting it down and looking at you.
"What is it?" he asked, voice gruff and tired.
"I want a child." You kept your eyes trained on his face, watching as his expression changed.
His face slowly shifted from confusion to slight distaste. He wasn't expecting that, not exactly.
He sat up a little straighter and looked at you intently. He wanted to make sure he heard you correctly. "A child? Really?"
"Yes, and I want one soon," you said, picking your teacup up again. You pressed it to your lips, speaking quickly again before drinking. "I'd like more than one, you know."
That last part was news to him. He was already surprised to hear that you wanted one, but two? More?
He let out a deep sigh and leaned back in his chair, crossing one of his legs over the other.
"Why?" He asked bluntly.
Enji didn't want to say no right away, but his children were already adults. He didn't realize you wanted kids of your own. He always assumed you wanted a simple, quiet life with no little brats to deal with.
"You're getting older, you know," you said, voice teetering on teasing. "Don't you think we should strike while the iron is hot? Before you're too old?"
"Who are you calling old, woman?" He rolled his paper and shook it at you, pointing it at you with a small scowl. "I'm in better shape than most men decades younger than me, don't act like I'm on the verge of death."
"I don't know," you said with a shrug, leaning back in your chair with a smug, little grin.
You were trying to rile him up, and it was working. Enji was not a man who held up well to your incessant teasing. It was rather easy to get a rise out of him— a fact that you often exploited.
"You aren't exactly in your prime anymore, are you?"
Damn you, he thought. He stood up, hands splayed on the table, eyes narrowed.
"Who's not in their prime? I'm doing just fine. I'm not even that old, you know that," Enji said in an overly defensive way. It was adorable, watching him get so worked up over a little prodding.
"Then chasing around some kids should be a breeze for you," you retorted sharply, raising an eyebrow in a challenging way. "C'mon, don't you miss having kids in the house? It'll be fun!"
He let out another, more exasperated sigh. Your persistence was a trait he had become accustomed to. Whenever you wanted something from him, you didn't stop until you got it. It was cute, but god, he hated how weak he was for you.
Enji was quiet for a few moments, staring at you as he considered it. He knew that if he kept arguing, this conversation would go on forever. "Fine," he finally relented. "We can start trying."
You clapped a few times in celebration, childishly whooping and cheering over your little victory.
"I knew you'd agree!" You paused and looked over him, a mischievous smile forming. "So, theoretically, we could start right now?"
Enji raised an eyebrow at you as that little grin appeared. He knew that look. "Now?" he repeated, an almost imperceptible smirk of his own began to form. "Right this second?"
You nodded and he scoffed, patting his thigh, thick with muscle and strength.
"Come here, you eager thing."
You did so gleefully, footsteps speedy as you went to sit on his lap, legs hanging over his thighs as you face him head on. You wrapped your arms around his neck.
He watched as you practically rushed over to him, settling comfortably in his lap. Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you close to him. He leaned forward, lips ghosting against yours before he spoke.
"You really do want a kid, huh?" he asked, smirk fading ever so slightly as reality sunk in.
Enji was battling with himself mentally. He wanted to make you happy. His personal motto had become "anything for you, dear," but did he really want to start over with another plight of snot-nosed kids? He hated to face his own age, but he was getting up there. Could he—?
He thoughts were interrupted by you answering his question, a soft, needy look on your face.
"I do. I really do, Enji. Don't you think I'll make a good mommy?" You braced your hands against his chest, eyes wide with excitement. "I think I'd look good pregnant too, with a cute lil' bump, eh?"
Fuck. Fuck, he really liked that image. Any doubt that was lingering was replaced with you. Full and pregnant. Tits swollen and heavy, face glowing.
A shudder rolled down his body and a low rumble escaped his throat. He couldn't remember the last time he was this turned on. He wrapped his arms tighter around you, nearly pulling you against him completely. He began placing slow, purposeful kisses all over your neck and jawline.
"Yeah?"
He couldn't form any words outside of that, his head foggy with only his desire to fill you up present. The grip he had on you was a little harsher than usual, fingers digging into the fat of your ass through your pants.
You pressed your lips against his roughly, hands carding through his hair.
"I want you to fuck..."
You spoke only when you pulled away for gasps of air, sentences coming out breathless and choppy.
"...all of your cum into me. Want it all, gotta make sure it takes."
He shivered again, your dirty talk getting to him more than he'd like to admit. He let out a low growl as your hands moved through his hair, his grip on you only getting tighter.
He bit down on your lip, pulling you back into another rough kiss. His hands continued to move over your thighs, slowly going further and further up until he was palming your cunt through the layers of fabric covering you.
"Such a dirty mouth," he muttered against your lips. "You really want it, huh? I'll give it to you. I'll fill you up, baby. Whatever you want."
His hands began to slide over your body, caressing your skin gently. His touch continued to linger over you, slowly making its way down lower to where you wanted it most. His fingers began to rub and tease at your core through your underwear, his hand messily shoved down your pants. His tongue licked roughly at the sensitive flesh of your neck. He made a point to leave marks, wanting others to be able to see that you belonged to him.
Soon enough, your full belly would be a mark of his upon you. Hickies would suffice for now, though.
"You're all mine," he said gruffly, his tone possessive as ever. "I'm gonna give you everything you want, baby. Give you everything you need."
Normally, you enjoyed the chase, the teasing. Making out and heavy petting was all a part of the fun, on most days. But not now. Not when you knew exactly what you wanted— and what did you want now?
Non-stop loads.
You shimmied on his lap, kicking your pants off impatiently and staring up at him.
"I want you, and I want you now," you said, trying to sound authoritative only to come off as needy and whiny. "Stop playing around, Enji
He chuckled at your attempt to sound like you were in charge, his lips curling up into that smug, confident smirk.
"Bossy today, aren't we?" His other hand coming up to rest on your waist. His grip was still as harsh as before. "So eager to be knocked up, you've forgotten how to ask nicely."
You groan exasperatedly, resting your head against his chest. "Daddy, please. Don't tease."
"Oh, fuck." He inhaled sharply, fingers rubbing small circles on your hipbones. "You know I love when you talk like that."
That one word was all it took.
You were always able to push the right buttons, to get him to do what you wanted. He pushed your head back, hand cupping your cheek, wanting to see your face.
"That's better," he said, his voice low and rough, almost a whisper. "Begging like that, baby."
Before you could respond, Enji had slung you over his shoulder, dragging you off to the bedroom.
He slowly repositioned himself until he was settled between your legs, his broad chest pressed to yours. He looked down at you, taking in just how needy you were. He knew you wanted this just as much as he did, if not more, and he was going to make sure he gave you what you needed.
His mouth was back on your neck, more marks being left on your skin. He spoke between sucks and bites, the words muffled. "You're still so eager, baby. All for me."
What round was it now? Three? Four? You couldn't tell. Your legs were cramping from being pushed to your chest for so long. Your greedy little hole was full of cum, dripping onto the silky sheets beneath you. Your mind— a mushy mess.
You felt Enji push his cock back into you, rubbing the head over the leaking mixture of slick and seed that was drooling out of your slit.
You winced a bit at the stretch. No amount of prep could ease the burning stretch of his girth. Your walls were snuggly closed around him.
It was always like this, he was huge, after all. A brief look at his sturdily built, tall figure would give anyone ideas. Obviously, a giant man like him had the cock to match. Every time felt like the first time with him, with the sharp pinch of him sliding in, but God, it was worth it.
He always felt a sense of pride when he took you like this. He was the only one who could make you feel like this, and he knew it. The only one who was allowed to satisfy the need inside you. His ego only grew the further he sunk in, watching your body swallow all of him yet again.
"Jus' one more, baby. Okay? Think you can take one more?"
His large body caged you under him, trapping you completely, strong hands keeping your legs firmly folded.
When you didn't answer, he huffed and brought his calloused thumb over your clit. He rubbed rough circles over the nub.
"You're such a sensitive thing," he mumbled, collecting some of the slick that dripped down the seam of your thighs, right next to your cunt. He smeared the wetness over your clit, smoothing his movements. "So little, too."
"S—shut up," you managed to spit, mouth hanging open as you felt him ram sharply against your cervix, kissing the tip of it with his cock head.
"But it's true."
Meaner than a snake, Enji was. The way he pushed one of his hands down on your lower stomach made you see stars. Every stroke felt deeper than the last— harder. More targeted. He was focused on hitting your deep, spongy weak spot with each of his thrusts.
"How are you going to handle carrying my child, huh? Tiny thing like you. My cock already spilts you in half, the hell are you gonna do with a child of mine?" He was looking down at you, stoic expression tinged with a hint of amusement. "You'll break right in half, baby. Y'aren't strong enough for it."
You huffed, a soft moan slipping through your mouth as he continued to fuck into your tight chasm like a crazed man, little regard for how rough he was being with you.
"I dunno," you mumbled, bottom lip bit tight enough to almost draw blood, "but I know I can handle it. Was made to be yours, daddy. I can take it. I gotta."
His grip on your thighs grew more intense, his hands digging into the soft, pillowy skin. He liked when you said that. He liked that you needed him, that you needed to mother his children.
Enji's teeth tugged at your neck rougher than before, his tongue licking the assaulted skin soothingly. It was a dance of sorts— sharp teeth marking you, marking you bruise and bleed, with a gentle tongue to clean you up right after.
"You really do want it, huh? You need it so bad," he said between rough kisses. "Well then, let's hope it takes."
With that, he braced one hand beside your head, tightly gripping a pillow, and the other leaving bruises on your thigh. He came for the final time, adding to the sopping, sloppy mess that previous rounds left in your hole.
"Ah, fuck. There you go, mama," he groaned, voice tight with satisfaction as he spoke the nickname. "Now, all there is to do is wait."
He kept his cock sheathed inside of you, plugging his cum up in your walls.
"...Unless you think another turn is needed. Fifth time's a charm, isn't it?"
#enji todoroki x reader#enji todoroki#endeavor x reader#enji x reader#smut#bnha x reader#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#endeavor x you#todoroki enji#endeavor
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how would the batfam have gone about Flit's initial presentation of their secondary gender? (as in when they first showed signs of presenting and presented).
Oh, great question!
Early signs:
You're developing a slight fever and your scent is changing. Gone is the milky, powdery, pup scent everybody has when they're young, and now it's developing into something noticeable.
Tim immediately starts placing bets on what you'll become. He thinks you'll be another beta. Dick is factoring in your spunky little attitude and assumes you'll become an alpha like him. Bruce does not know or care; he just wants you to have a healthy presentation with no complications. Hal already instinctively knows what you'll be. Something in his gut is already aware you'll be an Omega and he's gathering nesting materials for you to ease the transition.
You start scenting your family members more as your secondary glands develop. Has your dad always had this really strong, dark chocolate scent? Has Alfred always smelled like the tea he drinks? You're quickly learning how to discern their moods from their scents as well, and whatever sensations or feelings they're trying to push through them. Jason gives you a big squeeze and you smell lovepacklove, and you cry because that's so nice that it can be conveyed so instinctively!
The Shift:
Your fever reaches a crescendo and your body feels unbelievably sore. You can do little else but lie in bed and breathe through it. Your scent is sharpening and developing further as your caste reaches maturity.
Hal nests you with clothes pilfered from the entire family. Everybody takes shifts keeping an eye on you and ensuring you're healthy and hydrated through the process. Their scents all keep you comforted and help you feel safe while you're in such a vulnerable condition for the next day and a half. At this point, it's clear that you're presenting as an Omega, and only two of them are really surprised.
Post-Presentation:
It's a bit of a sensory overload for a while. Everything feels like it's been shifted a little to the left, and you now have to navigate the world of scents and deferment and challenges and heats. God, you didn't realize how fucking annoying a heat was until you started experiencing them for yourself.
But you don't mind the change overall. In a family of emotionally-stunted vigilantes, now you can read them a hell of a lot better with a quick whiff. Your dad is not indifferent to you wanting to start a cafe that caters to heroes, civilians, and villains after all — he's actually broadcasting panicpupdanger pretty fucking loudly in his scent despite the straight face.
Your family helps you navigate this new layer of the world, too, gently correcting your mistakes when you accidentally keep challenging Dick for the TV remote (it's not an accident, you wanna put your fucking show on!) or keep deferring to Tim over what you should eat for dinner (it's not an accident, you can't make up your mind between tacos or spaghetti and want him to pick).
All in all, they're very supportive of your changes and want to help you become a confident Omega!
Bonus: Conner
This boy did not go through a natural presentation. Lex Luthor implanted information about secondary sexes in his mind when he was cooking in the tank, but not how to navigate them. He's the freakiest alpha to ever alpha when he pops out. Deferring to people he shouldn't. Deferring to objects he shouldn't. Challenging everybody and everything unintentionally. Ignoring actual Challenges posed against him. Unsure how to mask his scent so his emotions are on full fucking display 24/7/365. Ruts are a confusing mess for him. Conner needs some help.
"I'm sorry, I'm not Challenging your bat plushy on purpose I just don't know how to reel these instincts in. I've been alive for two months. I also think we're meant to be together forever. Can I bite you? My body is screaming at me to bite you. You can bite me back. Maybe. You might break your teeth trying actually. I'm so sorry. You smell amazing btw. That was weird to say? I'm sorry. I'm Conner what's your name?"
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BDSMaid - Chapter 5 (Part One)

Series Summary: After recently graduating you take what is supposed to be a job to save money before you go back to university to get your law degree. Your best friend offers you a job cleaning luxury homes for clients you’ll never know. Easy. Simple. Mundane. Until one of your clients is home and everything you felt was missing in your life starts to fall into place. This goes against the NDA you signed and you could get fired. Or worse, you could fall in love.
Chapter Summary: You let Mister Miller help you out of a slump and learn you might like a little pain
WC: 8.9k
CW: Reader as some descriptors (freckles, long hair etc) so this might be more of an original character vs female reader. Dom/Sub dynamics, pet names (sweet girl, baby, baby girl etc). More CW in red below the cut but will contain spoilers.
AN: THANK YOU for being sooooo patient with me while I delayed this chapter. This is only HALF of the chapter and as soon as my lovely @lotusbxtch beta's the other half I will post it. No pressure thought, bb!! I just couldn't WAIT to share this since you've all been so wonderful and supportive. Moodboard by me, dividers by the wonderful @saradika-graphics
CW: riding crop, oral (male and female receiving), male masturbation, female orgasms, hand cuffs, deep throating/face fucking, descriptions of self doubt and panic attacks; reader is going through it, ok? Hair pulling, Joel is a bit mean but he does it with love and care. Joel being a consent and aftercare king.
Joel
Joel sits on the Trocadéro platform of Café de l’Homme, the birds chirping and the sound of rustling papers keeping him from getting too lost in his thoughts of you. Sarah sits across from him, a stunning view of the Eiffel Tower to their left, and a buying agreement typed out in French taking up most of the table. Joel might not look like it, but he can see himself eventually living out his years in either Paris or Italy. He speaks enough French and Italian to get by, but relies on Sarah to read over the contract for her new condo. His baby girl is a doctor and now that she’s almost a year into her surgery residency, this condo is her graduation present finally coming to fruition.
He looks down at his phone, opening the text thread he has with you. He’s been trying to give you space to study this week, telling himself each day that this isn’t what you signed up for but he can’t help himself, and when you responded with a selfie of yourself in your maid discreetly polo the other day he knew there was no way he’d be able to keep that pledge to himself anymore. Joel looks at the time, factoring in the time change, and your LSAT retake is in a few hours. His thumbs move on their own.
Good Morning. Good luck on your LSAT today.
He attaches a picture of the coffee he had that morning before hitting send.
The waiter comes by to take their orders, Sarah’s French flowing from her lips as easily as she breathes, happily telling the waiter what both her and her dad will have. Joel mutters a ‘merci’ as the waiter nods.
Thank you. That coffee looks a lot better than mine.
A selfie of you, all pink cheeked and smiling follows. A paper to go cup with a plastic lid in your hand beside your face.
Were you running?
“How’s it going over there?” Joel says over his phone screen to Sarah, her focus is intent on the stack of papers in front of her.
“Shh, I’m reading,” she says lightly as the waiter opens an expensive looking bottle of white wine and pours a little for her to try. After taking her small sip and nodding at the waiter she looks to her dad. “What? I thought we were celebrating!”
He shakes his head, laughing at his daughter as both of them look back at what they were doing.
Yes. I run most mornings. Gotta clear my head.
What’s bothering you, sweet girl?
You know, you calling me that has the same effect as me calling you Mister Miller.
Ok, we’ll just call each other by our names then.
Joel is so wrapped up in his little bubble with you that he doesn’t notice Sarah sitting back and watching him as she sips her wine.
That’s no fun, let’s come up with safe nicknames.
He feels the side of cheek tug up. She’s so fucking cute.
Alright, I’m calling you giggles
What am I, a rodeo clown?
Joel laughs silently to himself, not realizing that he’s sporting a full and cheesy ear to ear grin across his face.
Fine - Freckles
Eww, that’s what the mean girls in high school used to call me
Well the hot, successful man who owns a sex club and supplies your orgasms finds your freckles incredibly sexy. What’s my safe nickname?
“Who are you texting?” Sarah says, her voice thick with amusement.
Joel clicks his phone shut, laying it face down on the table. He wipes the smile off his face and looks up at Sarah like a child who just got caught stealing candy. “No one. Just work stuff.”
“Uh huh, sure dad. I know that smile. Did you meet someone?”
Joel grabs his wine, taking a larger drink then necessary. A drink of someone who’s lying. There’s no way he can tell his daughter about this. Sure, Sarah knows about the club but they never talk about what goes on there. “No! Of course not. I’m too busy for that.”
Her eyes blink to his phone as it vibrates on the table, but he keeps his attention on Sarah, his wine glass looking comically small in his large hand. “I’ll just ask uncle Tommy.”
“Funny story, he’s been removed from the family.” He deadpans.
“Tess will tell me then,” Sarah says, her and her dad both challenging each other jokingly.
“Who? Never heard of a Tess before,” Joel says, crossing his arms.
Sarah laughs into her wine glass, “Ok dad. Look, I want you to meet someone, so don’t hold back on my account. Seriously, you’re a catch and have been alone for a long time.”
“I don’t want to talk about it with you, Sarah. Not yet at least.” His phone vibrates again and she cocks an eyebrow before going back to her papers.
Joel scoops up his phone to read your texts.
Huh, suddenly I’m over being bullied. Weird. Oh, I have the peeerrrfect nickname for you!
Go on, Freckles…
Sweet Cheeks, cuz seriously Miller, dat ass.
Daaaammmnn!
You’re treading on mighty thin ice, baby girl
Joel, I have a serious question…
Go on?
Are your suit pants tailored TO your ass?!
Joel chokes on his wine, trying to stifle his laugh.
“Alright, who is she?”
“Fine. I met someone, but she’s really young, like younger than you, Sarah. And she’s leaving soon for law school so it’s just best if I don’t talk about it.”
Sarah smiles at her dad. “First of all, I don’t care if she’s younger than me, especially seeing you smile like that. Do you have any idea how many of the girls at college wanted you? You're my dad, so it’s gross to say, but you were the campus DILF.”
Joel feels himself blushing as she continues, “Second of all, you don’t have to end things just because of school. Me and Wyatt maintained our relationship while I was in New York and he was in Seattle.” As she wiggles the pear shaped diamond on her left hand the waiter brings out their food, and Joel changes the subject to the condo that he just bought for his incredible daughter.
Our little girl did it, Tiff. Thank you for giving her to me, he thinks.
You
“That’s time, everyone,” The proctor calls from the front of the stuffy, windowless room that you and forty five other law school hopefuls have been in for just over three hours.
You let out a slow breath, cheeks puffing and eyes fluttering closed. You didn’t finish, last time you finished, and the proctor has been eyeing you the entire time. He knows, he fucking knows you aren’t nearly as qualified or as smart as the rest of the people in this room. That line from Gilmore Girls, something about having shiny Harvard hair is all your anxiety can focus on. The people in this room have Havard hair, even the men. You don’t belong here.
You’ve never been in a lower spot and after the high of the flirty text conversation with Joel this morning you didn’t anything could get you down. In the span of just a few hours you’ve been completely torn apart, you can feel the panic attack clawing greedily at your chest. You fucking blew it, all of it. You blew your chances at law school, you blew your future as a lawyer and, in turn, your future as a judge. You’ll be cleaning houses forever, and not that there’s anything wrong with being a professional maid, but it’s not your goal.
Maybe I was fucking stupid for only having one goal. Maybe I need to do something else with my degree. Maybe my father was right, I’m nothing and I’ll always be nothing. Maybe my mother was right too, I’m the smartest girl at home but the world is going to chew me up and spit me out. It’s doing that right now, isn’t it?
Your feet take you to the locker where your phone’s been locked up, and then out to your car. You don’t notice the warm late March air when you leave the testing building and there's a good chance that you jay walked, narrowly missing being hit by a car as you walked to the parking lot. Before turning the key in the ignition you open your phone, there’s a little red bubble on the JMK app. When you tap on it you have a new calendar section and Joel has invited you to the club tomorrow night. You stare down at it, waiting and hoping to feel something. That excited giddiness you usually feel, or the butterflies that typically erupt in your stomach, but nothing comes. You close out of the app without accepting the invite and drive home.
A soft knock on your door pulls you from the anxiety-ridden nightmares you’ve been slipping in and out of. In the first one, you were having your degree taken away. In the second, you were sitting on the end of the bed in Joel’s private room looking out a window into the voyeur room. Joel was walking another woman around, similar to how he did with you the first time. The one that your roommate interrupted involved you being completely naked while trying to find your first class at Harvard.
“Babe?” Odette’s calm voice fills your room, “You ok?”
You tap your phone screen: 9 pm. You’ve been passed out all afternoon and evening.
“Ya, just had a hard day.” You try to move out from the blankets, but they’re tangled around your limbs; a clear sign that you were restless in your sleep.
“Are you hungry? I ordered pizza. You have a few more college letters too, I think three were in the mailbox today.” Her voice is light and excited, as if she’s trying to pump you up.
“Thanks, O. I’ll, umm, I’ll be out in a sec.”
The door shuts gently and the tears finally come. Five minutes, you tell yourself, before you start sobbing into your pillow to not alert Odette. After your allotted crying time is up, you open your phone. Messages from Jamie and Laren are left on read before you slide into the JMK app and accept Joel's request to meet at the club tomorrow night. You join Odette for a late dinner, but there’s no way you’re opening those letters tonight.
Cap drops you off outside of the club the next night. This seems to be the officially unofficial routine of being Joel’s sub and you aren’t sure why. Cap confirmed last time that he didn’t do this for the other girls; you don’t deserve special treatment.
Any treatment, really, you think. Even the little box of feelings in your mind feels the same way, sulking sadly in the dark corner you banished it to.
The black marble foyer feels cold and mocking tonight, even with the beautiful hostess smiling brightly and greeting you by name. As you turn towards the entrance to the club, a man dressed in an impeccable black suit holds his arm out for you.
“Good evening, Miss. Joel asked me to escort you to his room tonight.”
You nod, forcing a smile and a thank you. All this black feels like he’s walking you to your own funeral. As you step into the club there are people everywhere. Couples are dancing, people are taking up the tables and the barstools. The deep bass of the music thumps through the club and the nagging pressure behind your right eye threatens to pop it right from its socket.
The security guard holds his wrist to the pad on the door and holds it open for you.
“Thanks,” you say again through another fake smile.
The door clicks behind you and the music dulls, the only light on this side of the door comes from the propped open door of Mister Miller’s room. You rap your knuckles lightly on the door frame and Joel steps into view. Your eyes travel from his shiny black dress shoes, up the perfectly tailored black dress pants and fitted white dress shirt. His sleeves are rolled to his elbows, exposing the strong muscle lined forearms that usually drive you wild. You stand there, waiting and hoping to feel something, but just like in your car yesterday, nothing comes. Meanwhile, he’s smiling at you as if he’s just discovered the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
“Hi, my sweet girl,” Joel’s voice usually coats you like warm molasses, especially when he calls you his. But the rejection letters feel like they have plastered themselves onto you, seemingly creating a hard shell, keeping that miserable gray fog from escaping.
“Hi, Mister Miller,” you say obediently, hoping he doesn’t notice anything is wrong.
He motions for you to come inside, and pulls you into his arms as the door quietly clicks shut behind you. You wrap yours around his waist subconsciously as he presses his lips to your forehead. You’re sure the two of you have embraced like this before but right now it feels foreign. “What’s wrong?”
Fuck.
“Nothing. I’m sorry, it’s just been a long few days. I’m sorry, I can go. I don’t want to drag you down.” Your hands fist his dress shirt, a silent cry for him to not let you leave as an annoying dry lump forms in your throat.
“Hey, no. Don’t be sorry, baby girl.” His hands run long, slow lines up and down your back as he brings his forehead to meet yours.
The pounding of the music on the other side of the club fades away completely as his eyes melt into yours. It's absurd that you missed him, isn’t it? You are his submissive, nothing else. But when he looks at you the way he is now it’s hard to remember up from down. The pressure behind your eye dissipates as one of his hands cups the nape of your neck and squeezes gently. From the outside eye, you could almost argue that he’s acting as if he missed you too.
His voice is a soft whisper as he continues, “Did you want to talk about it?”
Maybe it’s his years of experience as a dom and taking care of his subs. Or maybe this is just normal for him, but you aren’t used to someone wanting to talk about it. You’re used to a quick hug and a shitty pep talk. His hands felt heavenly on your clothed body, but as they brush against the bare skin of your neck to cup your cheeks they’re out of this world. This strong, successful, handsome man is giving you his full attention, wants to give you his full attention, and as his nose runs down yours it finally happens.
Your body is flooded with that familiar desire. Your breathing catches as you practically moan, “No, I need you to make me forget. Help me, Mister Miller. Please?”
A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, exposing that dimple that makes him so damn endearing as he pulls his face back from yours. “I’m going to push you tonight, sweet girl.” He slides your faux leather jacket off, letting it hit the floor. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes, Mister Miller,” you say, your voice turning husky.
His eyes dance around your features and with a single blink he switches. You don’t think you could ever describe it, but it’s like he puts on a mask. His soft brown eyes turn almost onyx, the muscles in his jaw seem flexed, but it’s his voice that really gives away when he’s transformed into his fully dominant form. Joel’s voice is deep yet has a soft aura. Mister Miller's voice on the other hand is full of gravel, and nothing is a suggestion.
“Take off your clothes.”
Joel steps back, watching as you slip your bare feet out of your sandals. You felt underdressed tonight, but you just couldn’t convince yourself to put together an outfit. Your denim shorts and oversized black t-shirt come off easily and after stepping out of your shorts you look up at Mister Miller. His tongue runs along his bottom lip as he takes you in, eyes widening at your lack of bra and panties tonight.
“Dirty little girl.” He accentuates every word as his eyes travel a burning path up and down your exposed skin and then to the side of the room behind you. “See that pillow?”
You spin slowly, a black velvet pillow sits on the floor, handcuffs hanging above it from a chain connected to the ceiling. You look over your bare shoulder at Joel who simply juts his chin towards it in a silent command. As you walk towards the pillow, the metallic clink of his ring hitting the ceramic dish washes over you. Goosebumps spread across your skin and you feel the anxiety leaving your body. The doubt that has been screaming at you dulls to a barely-there whisper. For a second you feel weightless, floating towards the black pillow like the little styrofoam packing peanuts you used to place in rain run off as a kid.
‘No one has ever made you feel like this’. The little box of feelings says from the dark, ‘He’d take care of you, if you let him.’ You push that box deeper into the archives of your mind as you stop in front of the pillow.
Joel’s voice is deep, almost a menacing growl from behind you as he says, “Kneel.”
Your mind shuts off completely as you comply, dropping to your knees, facing the wall, and tucking your feet underneath you.
“Toes planted on the floor, sweet girl.” You adjust how you're sitting, exposing the soles of your feet to Joel as he walks towards you, his expensive dress shoes clicking slightly on the hardwood. You can feel the heat of his body as he stops just inches from your bare skin. “Good. Hands up.”
His touch is gentle as he places the cuffs around your wrists. “What’s your safeword?”
“Stegosaurus,” you say softly.
“Louder!” He barks.
You jump slightly before saying it again with confidence, “Stegosaurus.”
Joel takes a small step towards the wall and tugs the other end of the chain to pull it tighter, stretching your arms up above your head. You’re almost lifted off your knees. A small piece of leather running up and down your spine and your breathing starts to speed up. The anticipation of what’s to come almost has you bursting at the seams.
“This is a riding crop. You said you’re interested in impact play, as well as paddles, whips and crops. Is that correct?”
You nod, your throat going dry and voice cracking as you say, “Yes, Mister Miller.”
“How’d your LSAT go, baby?”
“I…I th-think I failed,” you murmur.
A sharp snapping sound fills the room, quickly followed by red hot pain on your right ass cheek; you gasp at the sensation.
The soft leather goes back to tracing your spine, slowly up and down, almost feather light and ticklish. “Again, how did your LSAT go?”
“I’m sorry, Mister Miller. But,” your try to swallow the dry lump in your throat. “I think I failed.”
As if he’s had years of sniper training, he strikes you in the exact same spot. This time your body jerks, the chains rattling above you as you cry out. However, the heat of this strike spreads right to your clit, and your cry morphs into a whine of pleasure.
“Sweet girl, do you belong to me?” He trails the leather along your hip, slowly teasing up your side.
“Y-Yes, Mister Miller.”
“Does it look like I own things that aren’t perfect?” The soft end of the crop continues its trail, over the side of your breast and to your armpit.
“No.” You whisper.
I can’t do this, he’s going to ask me to say I’m perfect and I can’t do it.
“I don’t appreciate you talking bad about something I own.” A strike lands on the sole of your left foot, you hadn’t even realized the crop had moved from your arm. He taps the foot again, lighter this time but the pain from the first strike hasn’t ceased, a strangled cry passes your lips. “Especially when what you’re talking about is yourself.”
Another strike hits your right ass cheek and the red hot stings of it causes you to shoot up onto your knees. The chains above you rattle and go slack. Joel makes a noise similar to a growl behind you before two quick snaps land on the back of both of your thighs. “Kneel, sweet girl.”
You’re shocked by the moans and gasps that are filling the room, sounds that are unconsciously coming from your own mouth. Your pussy is throbbing and as you settle back onto your heels you realize how wet you are. You didn’t think you’d like this this much.
“You need to learn how to stay still without being tied down.”
“Sorry, Mister Miller,” you whine through the panting breaths you’re taking.
“I’m going to ask you one more time,” he says, striking your left cheek and then gently rubbing along your ass. “How did your LSAT go?”
“I…It…I don’t know,” you say defeatedly.
He hits the sole of your left foot again, then your right ass cheek and this time your body acts on its own, your hips tilting to push your ass out towards Joel, a needy moan filling the room. “Come on, baby girl. Use your words.”
“It was harder then I remember,” you hum, your body practically vibrating with need. God, you can’t believe how good this feels.
The crop makes a slow line from the top of your ass, up your spine again and you tense up, sucking in a big breath. “Relax, my sweet girl. Until we talk about it, I will never strike you anywhere above the waist.”
“In fact,” he continues. “Anywhere here,” he draws a big circle along your entire lower back, “Should never, ever, be hit.”
“Ok, th-thank you.” You sink onto your heels again, your inner thighs are almost slippery with how turned on you are.
Joel laughs lightly, “You’re welcome. So, it was harder than you remember?”
“Y-yes. I think I failed, Joel.” As soon you say it, you know you’ve fucked up. Eight quick, sharp snaps of the crop hit; two on each ass cheek and two on each foot, all at random. It’s over faster than you can apologize, and the walls of your pussy spasm with each crack of leather on skin. “Sorry, Mister Mill, hnng, M-Miller.”
Your head falls back, eyes fluttering closed as he speaks. “Again, it was harder than you remember?”
You whine before whispering, “Yes, but I tried my hardest.”
“Up,” Joel commands, pulling the chain so you’re up on your knees. “Good girl. Spread your legs.”
He bends down behind you, the heat of his broad upper body warming your back. His strong hands grip your waist to steady you as you walk your knees out. “That’s it, good job sweet girl.”
His praise shifts everything. Sure, maybe you failed, but you are stronger than a little test. You are bigger than law school. If you don’t get in, you’ll try again and you’ll keep on trying, because you can do anything. A bright light shines on the little box of feelings.
The crop lightly tapping your inner thigh brings your back to the moment. “Please, Mister Miller.”
“You don’t have to ask, sweet girl. If this is enough to make you come then let go for me.” He whispers, trailing the leather of the crop up your thigh before trailing down the other.
“I need you to touch me,” you whine, letting your head fall forward.
“Aww, poor baby,” he mocks before bringing the little leather square between your legs and taps lightly against your swollen clit.
“Oh god, oh god, don’t stop,” you moan.
“Yea? My perfect sweet girl gonna come?”
“Yes,” you cry, head now falling back, your mouth falling open in a silent scream.
"Tell me,” he commands, stopping the tapping and just letting the soft leather rest against you, “Tell me you're perfect.”
“No, please,” you murmur.
“Tell me you’re perfect and you can come, sweet girl.” The crop is barely touching you now.
“I’m perfect,” you whine.
He smacks your clit harder once, twice and with the third snap of the crop you fall over the edge. The chains rattle as pleasure consumes you. Your orgasm rolls through you so hard and all you can do is take it. You moan loudly and your legs start to give out beneath you, the handcuffs and chain above you the only thing holding you up.
Joel
Fuck, she looks absolutely stunning when she finally submits. My beautiful, broken girl. She’s so smart, so driven, always pushing, pushing, pushing. Always taking care of everyone else. I wish she’d just let go, let me take care of her.
As you slump forward he drops the riding crop, wrapping his arms around your waist to hold you up, as he undoes the cuffs. You go completely boneless in his arms, your back pressed to his front, his soft lips peppering kisses along the top of your glistening shoulder. “You did so well, sweetheart. God, you’re so beautiful.”
He supports your weakened body, lowering you to the floor and rolling you onto your back. He pushes the hair that’s stuck to your sweat soaked forehead back. The soft and mischievous smile across your face is exactly what he was hoping for; you’re not ready to be done yet and luckily, neither is he.
“I’m not done with you,” he whispers, gravel in his throat, before kissing your forehead.
Joel stands and takes a few long strides across the room, sitting on the edge of the bed. He can feel your eyes glued to him as he walks away. After your joke about his pants he picked a pair that's extra snug, just for you. He’s never picked an outfit for a sub before, and this just further proves that even if he’s not ready to fully admit it to himself yet, you are so much more than just a sub.
“Sweet girl, come here.” He pats his thigh. As you sit up he says, “No, I want you to crawl to me.”
Your eyes widen, cheeks flushing, and his heart nearly flutters right out of his fucking chest as you say, “What?”
He leans forward, forearms resting on his knees. He wants to wrap you in his arms and praise you, but you’re responding so well to him being mean and he knows you need him to keep going. “I said to fucking crawl.”
When you get on your hands and knees, his cock swells to its full potential, pushing painfully behind the zipper of his dress pants. He begins memorizing every inch of your glistening skin and the lust-filled expression on your face as you move so beautifully across the room.
“Like this, Mister Miller?” You ask innocently, wetting your lips and effectively ruining his life at the same time.
“Just like that, my sweet girl,” he praises, sitting back up and patting his thigh as he adds, “All the way, then rest your head right here.”
You finally reach him, settling yourself in a kneeling position again and laying your head on his lap, big eyes looking up at him sweetly. His short nails scrape along your scalp as his fingers card through your hair and butterflies fill his stomach as you melt into his touch. “You look so pretty like this. So sweet and submissive. I’m a bad man for the thoughts I have about you when you’re like this.”
You hum quietly, eyelashes hitting your cheeks as your eyes flutter closed. You’re fully at his mercy, trusting him to do what he thinks is best. It’s not a role he takes lightly, not like when he was younger. If this was fifteen years ago you still be handcuffed to that ceiling as he fucked you, but after breaking a lot of hearts he’s reformed his ways. No sex, that’s the rule, as badly as he’d love to sink into your tight, wet heat, you’re trusting him to keep you safe.
A sense of calm and comfort washes over him as he continues to massage at your scalp, and he smiles to himself as your body gets heavier between his spread thighs. There’s lots of things he likes about you, but the thing he loves the most is how he never knows what’s going to come out of your mouth next. And you prove that when your eyes flutter open and you confidently say, “I want to suck your cock.”
“Fuck, baby. Gonna give me a heart attack sayin’ shit like that outta the blue.”
Your perfect pink lips curl up into a shy smile, his hand moving from your hair so he can brush his knuckles lightly down your cheek. “S’ that what you want? To suck on my cock?”
Your head comes off his lap as you nod up at him. “Yes, Mister Miller. Please?”
“You know that you don’t have to do that. Right? I don’t do this for orgasms, it’s about so much more than that for me.” He asks softly, knuckles trailing your jaw.
“I know, it’s more than that for me too, but I want to.”
The two of you look at one another for a while, eyes dancing along each other's faces. His voice comes out thick and full of sand, “Take it out.”
He sits back, resting his hands on the bed behind him as your hands go to his belt, quickly undoing the buckle and then opening his pants. His thick cock springs free as you pull down his soft black boxers, the tip already leaking a bead of milky precome. As you eagerly press the flat of your tongue to the tip, he stifles a moan and watches as your eyes widen. He knows that look, it’s the same look every other man and woman has when they see it for the first time. Joel’s never been with someone of the same sex, but on the rare times he’s shared a sub with another man they have the same expression too.
“You have a piercing,” you say, curiosity thick in your voice, eyes glued to the nickel sized silver hoop that sits at the very bottom of his pelvis, the bottom of the hoop sitting just above the base of his cock.
“Yes,” he confirms, watching the questions about the unusual placement of it run behind your inquisitive eyes.
Your hand is wrapped around the base of his cock now, your pinky grazing the shiny metal, and his hands fist the sheets behind him to stop himself from grabbing you. “I didn’t know that was a place people pierced.”
He smirks. “Welcome to the wonderful world of kink, sweet girl.”
He got the piercing shortly after he began his journey to become a dom. In certain positions it can be very beneficial for his partner, and even though he’s vowed over and over again to himself that he’s not going to cross that line with you, he can’t help but imagine your perfect face as you find out exactly what it can do. A little piece of metal that would stimulate your clit as he fucks you.
Your soft pink tongue wets your lips before you begin to suckle on the sensitive rosy pink tip of his cock. His lips part with a quiet sigh. The entire tip of his cock slips into your mouth and his hands clench harder at the fluffy white sheets, desperately trying to let you explore him when all he wants to do is wrap your silky hair around his hands and hear what you sound like when you gag. His efforts double as you hum and then swirl your tongue around the leaking tip, big doe eyes looking up at him.
“Fuck, baby,” he almost whimpers. “Do that again.” You smile up at him sweetly and his heart starts to thunder behind his ribs. This isn’t a good idea. He should just focus on you, he gets off on that too, just in a much different way.
Submissives come to him for many different reasons but he’s a dominant for one reason only. From the minute Tiffany passed, Joel has been responsible for everything. From raising Sarah, to bailing out Tommy whenever he got in trouble. Not to mention his construction job, which eventually led to being a business owner. Everyone needed everything from Joel. He had to pivot plans or multitask, nothing ever went as planned; but when he’s Mister Miller it goes exactly how he wants it to. He can say no, he can make them beg or say please, he plans what happens and it goes just how it’s supposed to. For a man who is supposed to be “the boss”, he only feels in control when he’s playing the role of dominant.
And then came you. This beautiful little ray of light. From that first gasp and wide eyed stare in his office he had a feeling about you. And then everything that came out of your mouth took him by surprise. And right now, how good your mouth feels has him even more surprised.
You haven’t looked away as you’ve worked more of him down your throat, your hand moves in tandem with your mouth, and your tongue flicks against the ridge along the bottom of the tip each time.
“Feels s’good, sweet girl.” One of his hands moves on its own, tucking your hair behind your ear. “You can take more though. Come on. Be a good girl and take it all.”
A small humming giggle vibrates along his length as you work more of him into your mouth and he can’t fight it anymore. Both his hands come to your hair, pushing it back as he wraps the soft strands around his fingers and grips tightly, guiding you down and holding you as low as he can get you before you gag. “Good fuckin’ girl. Jus’ like that.”
You
Joel’s salty precum is like a drug. You want it. Need it. And know you’re going to crave it forever. He’s been mean tonight, something you haven’t really seen from him, but it was exactly what had to happen to get your head back on straight. You needed a harsh hand to snap you out of the dark looming cloud that’s been threatening to swallow you whole.
You’ve probably always suffered from depression or high-functioning anxiety, not that your parents would have noticed or said anything. And even if they had, they wouldn’t have gotten their braggable daughter diagnosed. God forbid you weren’t something for them to hold over their friends’ heads.
Joel’s hands tighten in your hair as he starts to take over. He let you taste him, let you get his cock nice and sloppy with your saliva. He looked down at you softly while you started, but now he’s back to full dominance. Full Mister Miller.
He pushes you down onto his cock, the tip just kissing against your gag reflex. Your scalp burns under his strong fingers and you can feel yourself submitting. Everything goes quiet: your limbs feel heavy yet ready to move or adjust as he commands, the sides of your vision darken, and the only thing that matters now is him. His wishes. His desires. His commands.
He pulls you off of him, and you gasp in air, a string of your spit landing on your chin, your eyes watering. “You snap if you need me to stop, got it?”
“Yes, sir, Mister Miller,” you say hoarsely. “Fuck my mouth, please.”
“Open,” he says growls.
You do as he says, opening your mouth wide while looking into his dark obsidian eyes. You can see his cheeks and tongue working behind his closed lips before he spits into your mouth.
“That’s my fucking girl,” he rasps and then roughly guides you back onto his cock. He doesn’t take his time or stop at that point of resistance this time. No, this time he pushes you further than you’ve ever been. The cool metal of the ring on his pelvis touches your nose. The juxtaposition of his hard cock meeting your soft mouth and his cold piercing meeting your warm face is staggering, yet comforting.
“Breathe through your nose,” he instructs.
You switch your focus, sucking air in through your nostrils slowly. “That’s it, sweet girl. Relax.”
You let your body sink again into his muscled lined thighs. He starts to move you up his cock. He gets about halfway before he forces you down again. You gag as he hits the back of your throat, shocking yourself when the gag ends in a moan and your pussy starts to weep for him. In fact, almost everywhere is weeping for him. Salvia drips from your lips and onto his lap, tears run down face.
You’re a mess.
‘His mess’, says that annoying little box in the corner of your mind which now has ‘Mister Miller’ written across it in loopy cursive handwriting, the dots of the i’s little bedazzled hearts.
Joel uses your hair to pull you up to the tip and you gasp in a few breaths before he starts moving you up and down his now obscenely wet and fully erect cock. Your jaw aches with how wide you need to open your mouth to fit him. Your fingertips just met around the tapered base earlier. You’ve never looked at man’s cock before and thought much, but Joel’s might be enough to ruin your life.
“Fuck, this mouth. Feels s’ fuckin’ good. Look at you, takin’ it so well. You like this, don’t you?”
“Yes,” you say, although it’s muffled around his cock. He pulls you off fully, releasing his grips from your hair. You sit back on your heels, his eyes raking over your body, pausing to watch your heaving chest; a mixture of needing to catch your breath and being insanely turned on. You don’t take your eyes off his face.
“Stay.” Joel’s voice is deep enough that you feel it reverberate through you. You lick your lips, swallowing down the taste of him that you’ve become addicted to and place your hands on your lap.
One of his hands comes up to his mouth and he spits into his own palm before bringing it down to fist his cock. Your eyes flick down to watch as he pumps himself slowly. “You have me doin’ shit that I didn’t plan, sweet girl. I give in to you, let you take the reins. But I’m in charge here.”
He pumps faster, and you fight to stay where you’re supposed to. “You need to remember that, so you don’t get to be the one to make me come today, you don’t get to feel it or taste it. No, you’re going to sit there, like a good little obedient submissive, and watch.”
You whimper, your right hand moving on its own to between your thighs.
“I didn’t say you could touch yourself. Keep your hands on your lap.” His voice is strained as the movement of his hand becomes less fluid. His free hand comes to his balls, massaging them lightly and you try to commit the sight of him like this to memory. Tall, wide, and commanding, yet falling apart as he looks at your naked and kneeling form in front of him.
“Mister Miller?” You ask, your voice small and cracking, the back of your throat raw from the way he fucked your mouth. “I’m so wet. Please, can I just touch for a little bit?”
His mouth falls open, pleasure etched across his features, his focus never leaving you. “Show me how wet you are. Spread your legs for me.”
You raise off your heels slightly and slide your knees apart, exposing your wet and swollen cunt to him. Then you lean back, hands resting on the floor behind you, tilting your hips up so he can see all of you.
“Good girl. So fuckin’ pretty,” he moans and then you watch as white ropes of cum spill over his hand. Your name passes his lips in a groan as he comes simply from the sight of your pussy. His hand stills and you lock eyes. You should feel shy like this, but instead you smile at him, a mischievous giggle bubbling up your chest as you bite down on your bottom lip.
His head nods towards the small dresser by the door, the one with the ceramic dish where his ring is on top. “Bring me a small towel from the top drawer and then get on the bed.”
You saunter to the dresser, trying your hardest not to look too eager, and then back towards him with a small fluffy white hand towel. He takes it from you and cleans himself up as you lay on the bed. He stuffs his softening cock into his boxers and then removes his pants and shirt. If you thought you were turned on before, it’s nothing to how you feel now seeing him almost naked in front of you.
That whole looking like you’re carved from stone gene is strong with the Millers, you think, watching the muscles behind his toned skin flex beneath his tanned skin as he climbs onto the bed. He grabs you by the ankle and pulls you to the end of the bed, a squeal leaving your lips. You had almost forgotten about the riding crop welts, but the friction against the sheets has them burning slightly and you wince as the heat settles.
“I’ll fix those sore spots, but first I need to taste you. Is that ok?”
You spread your legs wide for him, “Y-Yes. I need you, Mister Miller.”
“Tell me what you need,” he hums, settling himself between your legs.
“What you said,” shyness seems to have finally caught up to you, although you aren’t sure why.
He raises a thick dark eyebrow at you. “Ask for it, tell me how you like it.” He nods at you encouragingly as you take a few breaths. “Come on, my sweet girl. You can do it.”
My sweet girl, you melt. That fucking bedazzled box of feelings is fully in the spotlight now. He has years of experience in this role, but you can’t be imagining it. Looking at someone the way he’s looking at you now isn’t something that someone can fake. You can’t be the only one to feel whatever this invisible teether is between the two of you.
“I like fingers curled inside while the tip of your tongue flicks at my clit. I like suction too.” The pride in Joel’s face is almost overwhelming as he listens. God, he’s beautiful.
He hums slightly, readjusting himself between your spread thighs. “My pretty girl gets what she wants,” he whispers before using the tip of his tongue to gently work at the soft folds of your cunt, working his way from your tight entrance to your clit.
Your body jerks when he reaches your most sensitive part and you can’t stop the salacious moan that fills the room. “Oh god, Mister Miller.”
He runs his tongue in slow, teasing circles around your clit. Not with enough pressure to actually make you orgasm, just enough to taunt you, and your entire body breaks out in goosebumps and a thin sheen of sweat at the same time. He slides his right arm under your leg, hooking his elbow under your thigh and reaches his hand up and over towards your pussy. His thick pointer finger and thumb easily slip to each side of your puffy clit. Just as you’re about to float off into another dimension he pinches hard. You scream out in a delicious mix of pain and pleasure, your back arching off the mattress.
He holds your clit in his fingers, easing up the pinch to tease at it with his tongue again while he works the middle finger of his other hand inside of you.
“You’re so tight,” he hums between licks. “Gotta relax for me. Let me into this tight little cunt.”
You whimper at the push of his finger inside of you. One of his fingers is easily one and half of yours, and if he’s having a hard time getting just one of them in, you can’t imagine how it will feel to have two.
“Eyes on me, sweet girl,” he rasps, releasing your clit from his fingers. His strong hand presses lightly on your mound. “You’re safe here, baby. Open up for me.”
As always, you follow exactly what your dom says. Craning your neck slightly and opening your eyes to lock your gaze with his. The honey flecks in his dark brown irises warm your skin and as your body relaxes he smiles up at you. You feel Joel’s finger slide the rest of the way in with minimal resistance and it sends a wave of pleasure from your core to your toes.
“There’s my perfect sweet girl.” He groans as you let out a euphoric whimper. And then he’s back on you. Soft lips pressing to your wet heat, the flat of his large tongue circling your clit.
Your head falls back to the mattress, “Fuckfuckfuck. Oh god!”
Your orgasm is embarrassingly close. Joel is hitting almost all the spots you love. No man has gotten you to the edge this quickly. Just as that tingle at the base of your spine starts to spread he curls his finger forward and sucks your clit into your mouth.
“Mis…hnnng…fuck. I’m - I'm gonna.” You can barely think outside of the pleasure, nevermind form a sentence.
A second finger slips inside of you, “Give it to me, sweet girl. Show me what I do to you.”
Your orgasm hits you like an earthquake, making you shake harder than you ever have. The walls of your pussy clench hard on his strong fingers. His mouth is back on your clit, sucking it between his soft, warm lips. The lewd sounds of his sucking mix with your cries of pleasure. Joel is ruthless, never stopping as you absolutely crumble underneath his touch. Another strong wave of your orgasm rushes through you when he curls his fingers forward again, pressing right on your g-spot.
“Oh fuck, fuuuck Mister Miller.” You whine.
He slows the motion of his tongue as the convulsions of your body slow, working you through the aftershocks of your earth shattering orgasm.
“Good girl,” he whispers before placing a light kiss to your spent clit and slowly slips his fingers out of you. As your gazes lock he licks your arousal off his fingers and then rolls you onto your stomach. You hear him suck in a breath through his teeth when he sees the aftermath of his riding crop punishment earlier. “I’m sorry, sweet girl. Just stay on your stomach for me.”
His lips press to your shoulder blade as the mattress baubles under his weight leaving the bed. You glance over at him, watching his broad, tanned back as he grabs a few items. He spins to face you, coconut oil in one hand and an orange juice and a bottle of water in the other. He places the drinks on the bedside table then scoops a bit of coconut oil onto his fingers.
You wince as he makes contact with your right cheek, “Ouch, Mister Miller.”
“I know. This will help, and hopefully you learned your lesson about talking badly about what belongs to me.” His voice is sweet yet serious and he moves onto the other cheek, then the back of your thighs before his hand wraps around your right ankle, guiding you to bend your knee so he can look at the sole of your foot.
He places a light kiss on the light pink spot and you giggle, “Your beard tickles.”
He laughs and does the same thing to the other foot before lining his body up with yours and pulling you in to be his little spoon. “How are you feeling, sweet girl?”
“Mmmm,” you hum, sinking back into his warmth. “Much better. Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me,” he holds you tighter, biceps flexing around your body like a ring of muscled safety. You're both quiet for a few minutes before he breaks it. “You kinda scared me tonight if I’m being honest.”
“Sorry,” you whisper, hiding your face in the arm he has under your head.
“No, don’t be. I’ve always been good at reading people, it’s probably more of a curse than a gift, but I just - I could feel that you weren’t in a good space when you got here.”
“Ya,” you agree.
“I know I can’t fix it, it’s not my place, but I hope I at least helped.”
You fixed it.
“You did help. I feel much better. Plus,” you turn to face him, both of you using one of your own arms to support your heads and your other arms wrapping around the other person. “Plus, you were right. I am smart. I can do this. I need to not be so hard on myself.”
Joel smiles sweetly, straight white teeth shining at you.
“If I can be spanked with a riding crop while handcuffed, fuck, I can be aaaanything.”
You and Joel laugh together and it all feels so natural. Maybe too natural. There’s something comfortable and familiar about him. It might be that southern hospitality, but in all the years you’ve been in Texas you’ve never felt this content with someone else.
“Mister Miller?” you say as the laughter subsides.
“You can call me Joel now,” his eyes widen just for a fraction of a second after it leaves his lips, almost as if he didn’t intend for it to come out before adding, “The scene is over.”
“Ah, so you’re saying this is a safe nickname zone now?” His smile makes your stomach flip.
“Careful, freckles.” He laughs, raising an eyebrow at you.
You give him a closed lipped smile, “Hey, if you’re gonna use it then so am I, sweet cheeks. Don’t think I didn’t notice the extra tight pants tonight.”
He shrugs a strong shoulder to his ear as you continue. “So, if you don’t sleep with your subs, why the piercing?”
He takes one big breath and licks his lips before he starts, his fingertips trailing up and down your arm. “I got it a long time ago, I wasn’t always as strict with my rules. I’m not proud of it, I broke a lot of hearts when I first started this whole thing. I haven’t taken it out because…well, I don’t really know. I guess because when I do finally reach that point with a partner I want them to experience the benefits.”
Always the giver, you think.
“Can you have a traditional partner while living this lifestyle?” You immediately begin to back track, realizing that you don’t want to seem like you’re getting attached. “Not you in particular. What you do outside of this room isn’t my business. I just mean like, are there doms that have subs that are married? Again, not you.”
He stares at you as you continue to ramble. “That whole thing came out wrong.”
“Relax, freckles, I knew what you meant. You’re kinda cute when you get all flustered and start to ramble though.”
The lid of the now pink painted box of feelings in your mind lifts a little. It seems to have gained an entire personality, and has the voice of Mrs. Potts from Beauty and The Beast as it says, ‘oh he definitely feels that tether too.’
“To answer your question,” his voice pulls you out of your own mind, “There are doms that do this professionally. I did have paying subs at one point myself and had a fairly serious girlfriend.”
Jealousy churns in your stomach. It’s irrational and you really hope it isn’t whoever Tess is.
“But,” he continues, “It’s a tricky situation and involves a lot of trust and communication. Probably more than a sub-dom dynamic. But, yes, I’ve seen lots of happily married people who live and explore the kink lifestyle.”
You shiver slightly and he pulls you in closer, tucking your head into his chest, inhaling that ash, leather and natural Joel musk. His hand runs up and down your naked back, the calluses on his fingers scratching slightly.
His body tenses, almost as if he’s nervous before he speaks. “Did you want to come to a Shibari class with me this week? We are hosting a demonstration at the club on Wednesday.”
You glance up at him, “I’d really like that, Joel.”
He tucks your head back into his chest. His lips press to the crown of your head at the same time that yours meet the soft skin of his sternum. “It’s a date.”
Part Two
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Hello! I read your Ghost NSFW alphabet and it was amazing!! (Actually I've just been reading a bunch of your posts for the past 3 days your writing it amazing!!) I was wondering if you can do an NSFW alphabet for Cpt.Price please!
Thank you so much, anon! I really appreciate that. Of course you can have a NSFW Alphabet for Price! Enjoy!
written w/ gn!reader
Word Count: 900
nsfw alphabet template
CoD Headcanons / AUs / Quick Writes Masterlist
A = Aftercare
A staunch cuddler. Price enjoys snuggling after sex, acting as a weighted blanket. He’s all about lazy touches and slow kisses, sprinkling you with soft words of affection as the two of you come down.
B = Body part
An ass man. No question. Price either has his hands on it or touching in some capacity. Positions that allow him to palm your ass as he fucks you are his favorite.
C = Cum
Enjoys seeing the aftermath. Watching his cum leak out of all your holes flames his ego. Spread those legs and/or cheeks. Open your mouth and show him your tongue. He wants to paint you with it.
D = Dirty secret
During his first experience with bondage, Price confidently said he could use rope, but totally lied, and stumbled through it to the point that he gave up and had vanilla sex. (He’s much better at it now.)
E = Experience
Very experienced, and he knows what he wants. Price isn’t afraid to tell you how he likes to be pleasured, and he’s not shy about asking you what you like, or exploring new things with you.
F = Favorite position
Any position that allows him to view your ass as he fucks you. He’ll even take a position that allows him to grip your ass if he can’t view it.
G = Goofy
During sex? No. Price might tease you a bit, but it’s always flirty. He wants you to smile, to enjoy yourself, but when it comes down to it, he’s all business.
H = Hair
Well-groomed but hairy. He has a lovely dusting of dark brown hair across his chest and down his stomach, thickening slightly around his navel where it transforms into a healthy happy trail and a decent bush around the base of his cock.
I = Intimacy
Incredible at intimacy, especially in the moment and during foreplay. The lead up to clothes coming off is hit or miss, but in the act, Price has his full attention on you. Lots of praise and appreciation for your body.
J = Jack off
Not a chronic masturbator, but certainly jerks himself off if you’re not available to take his dick.
K = Kink
Praise, primal, daddy, some forms of impact play, situational public sex
L = Location
A traditional man that likes to be at home while doing the act, but he won’t let an opportunity slip past him. He’s down to fuck at work if it’s a quickie, or take you in the back of his car.
M = Motivation
Physical affection gets him going. Wrap your arms around him, tease the back of his neck with your fingers, trace circles on his back. Intimate touch sends all the blood in his body down to his dick.
N = No
Piss play. Not into it.
O = Oral
Certified muncher/sucker. Price is a giver rather than a receiver though he won’t tell you no if you want to go down on him.
P = Pace
Price is the fast and rough type when he’s the one in charge. He might say sweet things to you, but you can bet he’s fucking your brains out at the exact same time.
Q = Quickie
Always down for a quickie. Hardly matters the time and place. Don’t need to say anything either. Present a hole for him and Price is diving right in.
R = Risk
Totally down to experiment as long as both parties are agreeable to the risk. Price is willing to try anything once but he won’t try something if you’re not into it.
S = Stamina
Decent stamina. He can go a few rounds but give the man some room to breathe between sessions.
T = Toys
Price does not own any toys. If he acquires any, it’s because you bought them, or you were insistent on trying some out. He won’t go out of his way to purchase them.
U = Unfair
Can be a bit of a tease, especially if he feels like edging you, but all of his teasing is really to get you going and turned on.
V = Volume
Price isn’t loud, but the man is a grunter/moaner. When he’s about to come, his eyes are closed and that man is moaning/groaning, completely lost in it.
W = Wild card
Dom!Price enjoys purchasing customized collars for his sub for all occasions. Real leather. Real metal. Engraved. Maybe some gems or diamonds.
X = Xtra
At first, Price didn’t understand the appeal to wearing a mask during sex, but after a few experiences with it, he grew to enjoy it, especially with how much you liked it. But he won’t ever admit that to Ghost or anyone on his team that he tried it out.
Y = Yearning
Price yearns for you all the time. No matter the time of day or night or the day of the week, Price is always thinking about you, and will accept any advances you send his way.
Z = Zzz
As a staunch post-sex cuddler, Price will absolutely crash out after sex quickly. Expect snoring, his arms around you, and don’t think about attempting to wiggle away from him. Any movement will only result in him pulling you close again. Won’t even wake up either.
CoD Headcanons / AUs / Quick Writes Masterlist
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