#mmm angst and love and enabling and mmmm

[yuichi-ro]

inspiration struck a little for my crossover fic( at the worst time yet again yay) and i have decided to (ab)use naoya zenin like the ugly little plot device that he is for angst purposes.

because imagine; reader and getou have been promised since childhood, its the only use the damn higher ups have for women and of course they like each other, maybe even more than friends but neither wants it to be under these circumstances. so they plan on breaking it off as soon as reader has a stable enough footing in the sorcerer world to protect herself from any influences, and if they ever do get together they both know it’s voluntary (even though reader knows of getou’s feelings due to their ability and the fact that he pushes those aside for her well being makes her fall a little harder).

but then naoya zenin comes along. the embodiment of the worst of the worst. whatever naoya zenin wants, naoya zenin gets like the narcissistic dickhead that he is. but he cannot go for a woman who is already promised to another man.

so reader is stuck yet again. right man wrong time perhaps, as they cannot break it off or a marriage to naoya would be inevitable. in the spot that she is in right now, promised to getou and teammates with gojo, it grants her a certain immunity but it is not an immunity she gets on her own, no freedom, only freedom through others.

which of course spirals reader deeper down into a vortex of conflicting emotions as she looses any sense of who she has ever been or ever thought she was.

and she loves her friends- gojo might be an annoying cockroach but he still buys her her favourite snacks and uses his clan influence for her and the other people in his life. utahime, her senior from kyoto that spoils her and spends all her time with reader whenever she gets the chance to. and getou. the right man at the wrong time, the wrong life perhaps.

its this shadow of this crushing world that looms over her at all time she tries her best to have countermeasures against juxtaposed with the seeming simplicity reader gets introduced to by people like baji

oh the angst and hurt/comfort i can taste it on my lips

also totally not me thinking about a “bad” timeline takemichi has to prevent- havoc caused by getou and later kenjaku a weakened jujutsu society and reader’s pain and grief over everything she has endured, every moment she has lived in the presence of humans whose thoughts she can never unhear giving birth to a truly twisted curse from mankind- mahito.

it really does fit tho- the one who understands human the best ending up causing mahito into existence though, doesn’t it?

-🌌

the way you made me look at Naoya's god damn wiki for too long and I didn't realize he was the same age as the Getou/Gojo/Shoko group?? I thought he was younger seriously??? Maybe it was just the baby gets what baby wants attitude but I missed that by a long shot I had no idea he was the same age as everyone else?? god I hate trying to decipher the Zenin/Fushiguro family tree everyone's a fucking cousins or a fucking uncle bunch of mother fucking inbreds istg-

ok ok ok now forgive me, it's been a stressful weekend (police reports here we come wee) but what you're mulling over/adding is the removal of Getou and Reader terminating their engagement after Reader makes a name of themselves (like what Maki was doing) but throwing in the monkey wrench that Naoya, prissy bitchy Naoya, meets Reader and decides that's the woman of his dreams and he wants that one. Inevitably revoking the original plan Getou/Reader had to give Reader freedom over their career in the Jujutsu field. Because if they don't marry Getou, they're fucking stuck with overhead control from the three big families and Naoya wants her so if the engagement is broken, Reader gets stuck with something worse than the original plan.

as much as I hate Naoya and even the idea of including him anything makes my skin crawl. I do like the idea of what that could mean for Getou/Reader's relationship. I mean c'mon they juicy unrequited love right there *froths at the mouth* While Getou is feeling the guilt for not being able to provide the woman he loves with the life she wants. The Reader is conflicted with emotions. Ending the engagement means a fate worse than death. And they know how Getou feels but refuses to acknowledge bc Getou still wants the Reader to be happy on their own terms. Now though they can't separate. Not if they both want an even shittier out come. Thoughts tormenting the Reader this time that she wants to marry Getou, that she knows deep down she loves Getou and this seems like a good time to perhaps take the marriage in stride bc there isn't really another human she could ever consider loving like this. But waiting for Getou to be upfront about how he feels now that it seems inevitable that they're going to be wed. That discussion never comes though, Getou never fesses up to how he feels and how he wants to be glad they have to get married (bc lets be honest he really doesn't love anyone else like this or would love anyone else like he loves the reader). He's still pushing like the original plan will work or at the least pushing Reader away so not to let anything transpire that isn't too out of the professional realm. Treating it as transactional as though that will save both of them from heartbreak even though they're very much in love with each other. But the sticky icky ness in their craw that this is only happening bc its an arranged marriage never leaves. Looming over constantly to taint what could actually be a very happy power couple. Bc both are stupid and in love and refuse to admit it to each other. My favorite kinda romance

also, reader being the last straw that creates Mahito? My shitty blue haired loml that is just god awful and I love him?? That Mahito into all of this and just- just- just the twisted nittering in readers ear from shitty blue haired curse that's only been alive for a few months but has dwelled in the readers soul their entire life?? that mahito??

sign me the fuck up I want the hurt 😩

[matchaball]

"Get To Know Me (Some More)”

i completely forgot you tagged me in this @qookyquiche but i just found it in my drafts haha. thanks for the tag! ♥

1) Coke or Pepsi? neither

2) Disney or Dreamworks? both (if pressed, my final answer is ghibli)

3) Coffee or Tea? tea

4) Books or movies? books!

5) Windows or mac? mmmm i’m gonna say mac since i’ve used it longer

6) D.C. or Marvel? marvel? i’m not too invested in either tbh

7) Xbox or PlayStation? playstation! 

8) Dragon age or mass effect? neither

9) Night owl or early riser? night owl... all my all-nighters.... 

10) Cards or chess? cards. i think i’d like chess a lot more if i actually knew how to play haha. 

11) Chocolate or vanilla? chocolate :D

12) Vans or converse? converse

13) Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar? ??????

14) Fluff or angst? floof :’) 

15) Beach or forest? ooohhh. beach i think. 

16) Dogs or cats? BOTH ♥

17) Clear skies or rain? clear skies :’) 

18) Cooking or eating out? eating out. i’m not that great at cooking haha

19) Spicy or mild food? spicyyyyy >:) 

20) Halloween/Samhain or solstice/yule/Christmas? christmas!!! i love the holiday season with all the festivities and spirit and cheer :DDD

21) Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot? too cold. i really don’t handle heat well at all lmao

22) If you could have a superpower what would it be? i’d love the power to be able to speak/understand/read any language in the world (universe??? keeping my options open) instantly

23) Animation or live action? animation!!! :DDD

24) Paragon or renegade? ????

25) Bath or shower? shower

26) Team Cap or team Ironman? team hulk

27) Fantasy or sci-fi? i really like both :D even better if it’s both together! 

28) Do you have 3 or 4 favorite quotes if so what are they? [ and the universe said... ] [ For the body, touched / by newer terrors, becomes a wing / attempting, not flight, but to fold / in a way that makes / flying, when it comes, a kind / of  severance. ] [ What is a legacy? It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see. ] i'm so mad at this question, i have 120 pages alone filled with quotes and poems that i love, and 20 pages of that which are my favourite. anyway here’s the rest of them.  

29) YouTube or Netflix? netflix. nothing enables my bingeing of tv shows and movies more. 

30) Harry Potter or Percy Jackson? harry potter. i’ve never read/seen percy jackson, though it looks like something i’d enjoy

31) When do you feel accomplished? when i finish a project (i feel like i’m just copying all your answers qooky haha)

32) Star Wars or Star Trek? star wars!

33) Paperback books or hardcover books? paperback

34) Fantastic beasts or Cursed child? fantastic beasts

35) Rock or pop music? mmm maybe pop

36) What is the most important thing in your life? LUNA ❤

37) Mountains or sea/ocean? ocean, though i’ve discovered i do need mountains around too. totally flat land sort of depresses me. 

38) How do you express yourself? most clearly and consistently through writing i think. when i’m super excited about something i tend to gesture a lot as i talk. if i’m upset, i totally close myself off. 

39) What’s the first book/film that really counted to you? maybe totoro? that was the first ghibli movie i watched and the chord it struck in me still resonates through today

40) What’s your element (air, water, etc.)? air! a confusing discovery for me since i thought aquarius was a water sign

41) If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? at this very moment, austria. i’ve been aching to revisit the architecture and museums, plus i’d love to try some of the hiking around there. 

42) If you had any job in the world, what would it be? an animator at any of the big studios :’)))

43) If you were granted three wishes, what would they be? i’d likely give the three wishes to someone else tbh, i feel like this would only end up blowing up in my face

44) If you had to eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? udon noodles :’DDDD i dunno why i love them so much but they’re SO DANGED GOOD

45) If you could only have one, which social media platform would you use for the rest of your life? at this point, tumblr wins by default. i don’t use anything else. twitter, on the very rare occasion. i’m just a grandma who can’t understand twitter’s interface no matter what i try to do lmao

tagging @harunamotokis @lineya21 @kwamikwami @larvesta @lunecake @snozzbear @gorovaia @siderealsandman @wifalya + anyone else who’d like to do this!