#modu challenge

[rigelmejo]

More progress updates, because I'm having fun!

Glossika japanese: did 1248 sentences, 10,055 reps so far, it says I'm High A1 20.4%. I believe that based on the sentence quality I am getting, they are A1 sentences vocabulary wise. The grammar includes various higher level stuff, but the vocabulary is fairly basic and mostly review of stuff I've learned before and just forgotten or gotten rusty with). Glossika has articles that claim a good first goal is 25,000 sentence repetitions for a noticeable improvement in speaking. So i'll give a little review on progress compared to glossika's claim, when I get to 25,000 reps. Their articles also indicate the eventual goal is to do 100,000 reps in glossika for speaking fluency (i'd argue i'll probably have B1 speaking skills at best by then, but glossika's app claims B2 or C1 so i'm going to score them a bit harshly regardless). I dont think it will be especially hard to do 100,000 reps, as Ive done 10k from around 1000 sentences, and the app has 6500+ sentences, so just going through all sentences ill be around 65,000 reps and then its just a few weeks of reviews.

Reading 默读 by priest: I've read 3 chapters now. Both extensively (not looking up words) and intensively (looking up every word I don't fully know/remember the definition of or pronunciation of). My conclusion is that I am comprehending about 86% percent (like yesterday's calculation) CLEARLY and then another 10% I can guess roughly what's going on and be close enough to use those guesses to learn, or I can guess based on the plot I remember. With that much at least roughly comprehended, it makes reading 默读 extensively doable if I want to do it. I recognize most the hanzi, so when I slow down and read very slowly, I understand closer to 90% of the words (just having forgotten pronunciation), and then using context guess the few unknown hanzi and the words they make, so there's not a huge hit in story understanding. If I read fast, reading along with audio as it plays, I make vaguer guesses about what descriptions mean that use hanzi I know/one I dont in ways I'm unfamiliar with. So far my guesses have been rough, but generally in the ballpark, so I've been able to keep reading without pausing to look stuff up if I choose to.

I am thinking of doing an experiment with 默读. I will read it while listening, because that forces me to practice reading at a faster pace (speaking speed). I will only look words up if I feel like it (so not all the time, probably only occasionally). And I will note if in 20 chapters, 40 chapters etc, I am noticing if I have "learned" significantly more words, noticing if I've gotten better at comprehending words I know quicker while following along to spoken speed (so clearer understanding). The idea of reading comprehensible material to you (say 95% words you know or more), is in theory you pick up more vocabulary through context, and improve reading skills, over the course of reading. Growing up, literature classes and reading assignments basically give you mostly comphrehensible materials to read and that's a major way your vocabulary and reading skills build in your native language. Yes, some classes make you look up vocabulary for a particular literature book assigned (or defined terms in a science textbook). But the vast majority of free reading time is: pick a book for your age level, teacher encourages something slightly challenging but comprehensible. I have read simpler chinese novels extensively, and made progress. But 默读 would probably be the highest unique-vocab book I'd try it with. The upside is? I could potentially learn more new vocabulary from this book. And then in the future it will make reading other stuff easier. So yeah, I'll update on progress later.

Read chapter 3 of 默读. Listened to modu audiobook chapters 1-3. I noticed my listening skills just... fucking suck lol. I can read so much better than I can listen. I was getfing through the audiobook based on phrases I recognized and the dialogues, despite being able to READ those chapters... listening to them I just couldnt recognize as many words. I will also be extensively listening to the audiobook, as see how much sheer Volume of audio listened to helps me improve. I guess on the upside: i used to not comprehend the audiobook much, so this does feel essier, even if its still miles away from full comprehension.

Other things of note:

i find it funny that after a week of getting back into things, im quietly saying the hanzi as i read again. Apparently pronunciatioj WAS locked in my read somewhere, it was just rustier than visual recognition.

I may watch Absolute BL/zettai bl season 3 in japanese. Since its out?!! It exists!!! Which is news to me. It isnt fully translated yet. However, my japanese sucks so i might fail miserably. I Cannot Reach You On Netflix would be another choice (wirh japanese subs available and english). But i miss Mobu. ToT

Its shockingly weird how much reading skill works? Like... it rusts and you "forget" but then if you use it, it always comes back within a week or two. Thats what happens with reading french for me, and apparently with chinese too. I havent read in 6 months ish. Last week I tried to read SCI, i was fucking terrible. Confused as hell, even though it should be easier than modu. Well this week I'm reading modu, which has more unique words in it, and it feels fine and doable and fairly okay to understand. And to be fair, part of that is I just am much more comfortable parsing priest's writing style. So I go back to try reading SCI again today. Well? Easy. What the fuck. It was barely parseable last week. Now I can read: 办公室的门在受到撞击前的一刹那打开了，两人刹车不及，直接摔了进去，双双落地，正中地板。就听楼下有人隔着窗户朝上大喊：“你们刑警队的就不能消停一天？再这样下去，哪天真的地震了，整个楼里的人都不知道跑啦……” 张龙和王朝从地板上爬起来，就见白玉堂手上端着杯咖啡，靠在办公桌边似笑非笑地看着他俩。just fine. It's easy. Okay then.

Oh and also. Tao rans name? 陶然 the fact its the same ran as huran/turan/mengran so many "suddenly" words that come up at the beginning of a sentence, and tao ran's name Also comes up at the beginning of sentences, keeps throwing me off when I listen.

[abbreviated-calibrations]

It's the ideal rat palette dude. You know what you gotta do.

I present to you Neil, who bangs out the tunes

This palette challenge belongs to @m-chromatic!

[rosalinesurvived]

I think Fukuzawa and Fukuchi met at fourteen. Partly because I think a scrappy baby Fukuchi literally going around and pumelling dojo trainers before meeting Fukuzawa to be seriously hilarious and partly because Ranpo, Yosano, Kenji and Kyouka met Fukuzawa at fourteen and that’s four too many to be a coincidence

[lavenderspence]

her possessive trigger | S.R.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader | Word Count: 1.5K

Content warning: professor!spencer, jealousy, a lil bit of possessiveness, cuteness at the end

Summary: they could look at him all they wanted, but they needed to know he was yours. or the reader announces to spencer's students that he's taken

A/N: this was actually written back in june and i’m just now coming around to posting it. But lavenderspence writing for her husband spencer is back. Heavily inspired by my love for professor!reid and my desire to slap all of his student fangirlies and proclaim him as my own in a heavily possessive manner. you too? Oh, enjoy then🤭

masterlist

The auditorium was dark when you first walked in. His voice rang around the space, successfully gathering the attention of everyone present. Words like “victimology”, “modus operandi” and “signature”, the same ones you’d used for years, left him in quick succession, as did their explanation and usage in your profession.

He was captivating, an educator’s role suited him just right, but that was hardly new information. You’d seen him thrive on sharing his knowledge for years, be it as an FBI agent, or as a guest lecturer over the years. 

When he’d been offered to take on a class for the semester, alongside his work with the BAU, he’d been more than happy to. 

He loved it, and he told you as much regularly. And even if he didn’t, you’d still be able to tell. He loved challenging young minds, hopefully shaping the next generation of BAU profilers. 

His students loved him too, that much was evident in the way they hung onto his every word and explanation. Their hands raised with questions, taking part in the discussion, and diligently taking notes. They were dedicated to their studies, and to the subject Spencer taught. 

Or, most of them were. 

The other part, multiple young women it seemed, were far more dedicated to checking him out, than the class itself. 

You didn’t need it spelled out for you, you didn’t even need to see their faces. The art of reading people from a distance was deeply engraved into your being after years of working with the best. And then another part of it was your love for the man at the front. 

Your eyes ran around the room, the profiler in you working over time. 

Two brunettes sat near the front, third row, right side of the auditorium. Both their bodies turned towards the center of the room, following along with Spencer’s movement. One was casually leaning back in her seat, trying her hardest to mask her interest in her professor, and for anyone less vigilant, she might have been successful.

The girl next to her twirled a piece of hair around her finger, head moving left and right, but judging by the lift of her cheek, you could tell she was smiling, probably a little shily. It wouldn’t surprise you if her eyelashes fluttered too. 

A row in front of them sat a blond, hand constantly touching her hair, or her face, even fanning it. It was mid-March, the room wasn’t hot, but quite the contrary, a bit chilly. 

And then there was a girl, a few places to the left of the blond, whose hand was constantly in the air. Her voice was smoky, with questions that hardly contributed to the topic at hand, but Spencer let her ask them anyway. He even went so far as to answer as he would any other question.

Even though you knew he’d long ago picked up on her behavior, much like you had, he still indulged her, just like any good educator would. She looked just a tad too interested in the class, but maybe far more interested in him. If you had to guess, she had it bad, judging by the way she readjusted in her seat, every time her eyes met Spencer’s, even for a second. 

You knew Spencer was handsome, maybe even more so than that. He was beautiful in ways you found hard to explain sometimes. His curls, soft and golden-looking in the sun, the barely there scruff you could still feel against your palms and lips as you kissed him goodbye this morning. The suit, and how well it fit him, the top two buttons of his shirt undone, and the cardigan vest that made him look soft, when you knew he was anything but when needed. 

But there was so much more beauty on the inside, just as long as you wanted to see it. A heart that spans miles, big, always ready to give, but rarely willing to take. A godfather, proud to be one, and a smile that could light up whole skies, out of happiness, out of love. Your own little search engine in a body, facts, and statistics, as long as you wanted to listen, and you always did. 

How he was with you, his love like no other, and his eyes lighting, the green in them even more prominent, just with you in the room. How calm he was, whenever in your presence. Patient, even when you couldn’t be, and he could bring you back down from any ledge you found yourself stuck on, or whatever worry sat heavily on your mind. 

He brought out the best in you, and you let the best of him out too. 

And even knowing him as well as you did, and loving him as much as your heart allowed you to, and knowing how he loved you, with everything he could, there was a part, if small at that, that couldn’t help, but feel taken aback by this behavior. 

Maybe taken aback wasn’t the right word, but jealous felt more appropriate. 

There was no need for those feelings to arise, insecurities that bore no weight. Your relationship was as secure as the sun was bright if the stunning rock on your finger was anything to go by. 

But maybe it wasn’t really jealousy either, but the desire to protect, maybe even to possess. 

It sounded ridiculous, to an extent, because Spencer could protect himself just fine. He wasn’t an object that could be picked up from a shelf, and owned. 

He was your equal, in every way that counted, your other half, your best friend, your closest confidant. 

And maybe that’s where that protectiveness stemmed from.  

Because as you looked around, women, without knowing him, and who he was beyond his looks, and as deep as you and your BAU family knew him, sat there, gawking. 

And as the lecture was coming to a close, the desire to cement the fact that Spencer Reid was happily in love, and soon to be much more than just a boyfriend, arose. It was petty, very much so, but at that moment, pettiness won over. Because the man in front, the same one those students were thirsting over, was very much your own, and that wasn’t going to change anytime soon.

“Before we end today’s lecture, any questions?” 

No hands rose at the question, except one, your own. 

He pointed at you, giving you permission to ask the question, and his hand reached for the light switch. 

Just as you started speaking, the room was illuminated in light, and his eyes focused on yours, and you winked.

“Uhm, Dr. Reid, I was wondering, do you happen to have a girlfriend?” A silence so defeating followed, as every head turned in your direction as you stood from your seat. Spencer, the dork smiled big, and then he laughed, surprised, and maybe a little bit proud at that moment. His laugh was rich, attracting a part of the attention back to him, as you started walking in his direction. 

“Wasn’t expecting a guest lecturer today,” He raised a brow just as you reached him, and you just shrugged, smiling. “Class, this is Supervisory Special Agent Y/L/N” Spencer introduced you, as you looked on over his class. 

“Soon to be SSA Y/L/N - Reid” You added, looking at his students sitting in multiple stages of processing the information. He laughed, and instead of looking shy or even embarrassed by the display, he just looked happy, and proud. Maybe it was the knowledge of the fact that you were his, and his desire for everyone to know. 

Soon after that, he dismissed the class and you watched as the auditorium emptied, students turning to look at you both as you pulled him into a big hug, followed by a gentle kiss. 

When you separated, he looked at you with a huge smile, lifting a brow, “You really couldn’t help yourself, could you?” He picked your hand, bringing it to his lips to lay a kiss right on your ring before he rubbed it with his thumb. 

“No, no I couldn’t. They were looking at you like you were a piece of meat on a platter.” Your reply was swift, a smile just as big.

“Is that jealousy I detect, and a bit of possessiveness?” He was amused by the fact that you wanted to stake some kind of claim on him in front of his students, but secretly, he felt happy you loved him enough to do it

“Noooo…” You didn’t meet his eyes, playing stupid, but you knew he saw right through you.

“Wait until I tell Morgan about this,” He said as he picked up his satchel. 

“Aww, that’s just mean, Dr. Reid.” He pulled you towards the exit, arm wrapped around your waist, possessively. You may have seen the girls looking at him, but he saw the boys checking you out just the same. 

Maybe that was why he felt happiness when you stated you weren’t just a colleague, but rather his soon-to-be wife.

“Don’t I know it, Mrs. Reid.” And then he pulled you into another kiss, this time, a little more urgent, and very much possessive.

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!!!

[unpretty]

I've been following you for a while and only just now realized you were polyamorous. I'm skirting that in a new relationship, and while I can intellectually and emotionally adore the concept of loving multiple people emotionally and having intimately close connections in that way, I still have a weird emotional response to the physical component of that. I can intellectualize that it's being done in an honorable, practical and structured manner that doesn't harm anyone and doesn't leave me wanting, but I cannot define where this emotion comes from in spite of the concept passing these rational checks. What's your experience been with with regards to polyamory? How did you get here? What were the challenges, and how do you navigate them? Is this a common experience for new persons in this modus operandi?

unfortunately i am a terrible person to ask for advice on polyamory because i'm built different

i mean not really but kind of. i just don't have the thing where i care. as long as i'm getting enough attention my partners can do whatever they want with whoever they want and it has nothing to do with me. sex is just a thing you can do. i think i only get upset if they do something with someone else that they never seem to do with me but i would enjoy. if my wife got a new platonic friend and they started going to dance classes i'd be so mad.

i think your experience is probably much more common than mine, since i just never saw a reason to be monogamous

[ohnovikky]

part 2 of Pink Ribbon Girl

● summary: Kim can't control her feelings anymore.

● warnings: fights

-

kim's all alone. she can hear the sound of thousands arsenal’s fans trought the Emirates and wishes they would be even louder so she wouldn't hear her own thoughts.

since she was a little girl kicking on a ball, she prided herself for the way she deals with things. she stands by what she says and leads by example, without ever thinking it was tiring. so she couldn't believe she just got her first ever red card because she couldn't deal with her feelings for you.

it's been three months since she challenged you. she dared you to go celibate in order to finally going out with her. at the time, she thought that would be enough to be free from your constant hovering, even if you claimed to already practice celibatism. she didn't believe you, no one would.

but you proved it to her, almost becoming a nun.

you. damn you. with your doe eyes and sweet charming voice, beautiful face, and equally beautiful body. with the way you would call her name, like you were saying a sacred word. and she tried. oh god, she really did. acted tough, even cruel. lied to herself. lied to her friends too, everytime they said "but do you like her too, Kim?" or "please, don't tell me you fall for her rubbish"

as of late, you were already calling her out. "kimmy, you promised," you said quietly, in a sad voice. she knew that, as she was a woman of her word, but excuse her, she never thought she'd to do it. and she was scared.

and now, she embarrassed herself and her team because of it. it was all too much. that hideous girl was to blame, she bitterly thought.

arsenal’s opponent of the day was spurs.

at the tunnel, she perceived you a little nervous. you'd look anywhere, talk to your mascot or fix your ribbons. ok, that's weird, not like you at all. but why...? until she saw amanda nildén looking at you in a funny way. way too funny. kim feels her heart tight. you promised. you wouldn't do that to her, even if she didn't, in fact, ask anything from you, at least not officially.

amanda, for all she knew, wasn't that older than you or a captain. she wasn't even that pretty. that wasn't your modus operandis. but then amanda came closer and actually whispered something in your ear. oh, fuck it. "Y/N, focus" she heard her own voice saying, stern, straight-face. amanda looked at her, startled, but with a second look at kim and you again, she smirked.

it was all it took. nildén was purposely coming closer all the time, unnecessarily touching you and provoking kim.

"you're fucking her?" "does she meawls for you too when you're inside her?" "the last time I took her..."

kim didn't realised she was growling. of course, she knew you had lots of sex with many women, she didn't care at all, as if, but it didn't mean she wanted to hear about your experiences.

and, because the world is so fair, amanda nildén said the one thing that made kim loose it. she may or may not, late at night, sometimes have...nightmares about what she'd to you. in those terrible nightmares, you may or may not say "i love you, kimmy" with your little voice in, huh, certain moments.

"did she tell 'i love you' to you when she cums? she said it to me looking into my eyes as I fucked her on all fours" punch. kim punched her on the face. oh my fucking god, she wasn't stopping. she punched again. as she was going to the third punch, someone, maybe leah, held her arms.

the referee blew her whistle, showing the red card. kim seemed to come to her senses, breathing heavily. what did I do? she saw you, looking at her in completely shock. everyone one was shocked. the fans understanding nothing.

she realised the game must've ended, the loud chants had stopped by now and steps were coming closer. her teammates coming as silent as they could, as if in fear she would be throwing punches in the locker room.

she knew what she had to do, standing, she began "i want to say i'm sorry for what i did. it isn't like me at all, but that's not an excuse. I'll take responsibility for my actions. again, i'm deeply sorry, it won't happen ever again"

people still looked a little wary, surprised or in confusion, especially her friends. but in general, all it was heard was "of course, kim" "it's ok, kim". but you said nothing. you couldn't bring yourself to.

later, as everyone was leaving, you came closer to her, who was still sitted, body still, deeply inthoughs, jaw tigh "kimmy, what happened over there? it isn't like you at all and-" "coming to defend the honour of your mistress?" she scoffed. you were out of words "mistress??? what are you talking about-" "I'm talking about amanda nildén and fairy tales stories about you two fucking!!! and please, spare me, don't try deny it"

well, well, well. amanda wasn't your mistress. you didn't have a girlfriend (unfortunately), but kim's mad. and you actually fucked amanda. once or twice. she wasn't even your type, and it was just when you came to england. before kim stole your heart. and yeah, you still talked to amanda from time to time. she kind of flirted with you, but nothing serious.

"kimmy, listen to me. baby, i can imagine what she did. i'm sorry, please, i really am. but she's not my anything nor i want her to be, i swear. yes, i did sleep with her, i won't lie, but it's been ages. way before i fell deeply in love with you. i only want you and you should know that by now"

kim heard it all quiet. despite herself, she wanted to believe so much in your words. so much. but her heart was hurt with what suspiciously looks like jealousy "do you know what made me punch her, Y/N? do you? she said you told her you loved her you came after she fucked you in all fours. do you think i have to hear that? what if i give in and the next game someone else tells me they fucked you in doggy style? enlighten me, you tell them you love them every time??? would you tell me? would it be a lie???" she was screaming, out of air by this point. oh gosh, she was being so vulgar she couldn't believe it.

"kimmy, the only one'll be hearing 'i love you' while fucking me, is you. all fours, doggy or whatever else you decide. or the morning after. or here, right now. kimmy, i adore you. i've been owned by anyone else, but i've been wanting you to own me for the longest time. please, my darling, will you take me?"

it was now or never.

[hexfloog]

i am sooo thematically consistent actually lmfao

My final contribution to Repostober 2024 :) Loose "redraw" of this sketch that I posted last year. Scan and words below the break.

I know the phrase "rewired my brain" gets thrown around a lot in fandom but I honest-to-God think Ghost Channel really did it. If it's not THE formative thing in my taste for horror, it imprinted pretty damn hard on my little babby brain. To this day, the memory of watching it for the first time stands out as my earliest experience where I've needed to pick my jaw off the floor and then marinate for a bit.

For those not in the know, Ghost Channel is an episode late into season one of Code: Lyoko. It is freely available to watch online, but if you're even a little interested in watching it, I highly recommend watching it in sequence, despite the episodic nature of S1.

Original scan, from 2009ish:

I'm sure I've mentioned it, but before I realized the importance of archiving my art I threw away virtually everything I had relating to CL >___< Later, I thought it might be fun to redraw some pillars from my childhood fandoms and this sketch happened. I've posted a few things for Repostober so far that were products of this same effort.

Reinterpreting this in 2024 was a challenge. My taste in horror hasn't changed much over the years, but the way I enjoy it definitely has. The 2009 scan reads as an in-your-face tribute to the episode (to me, at least), but these days I'm a much, MUCH bigger fan of subtlety and the power of implication. Redrawing it 1:1 bugged me a little since I didn't feel it'd meet my current standards or do the episode justice. I'm a firm believer in "less is more" so I spent a loootttt of time grappling with a good 'redraw' that 2024 me would accept while still passing as... well... a redraw xD I suppose it is still conceptually the same.

Jeremie is easily my favorite in the CL gang which definitely has nothing to do with the fact that I seem to have a proven history of latching onto the prodigal child with glasses and I've always found it crazy poetic that one of the only (or maybe the only?) big bad's true manifestations in the show is in his image. Something something thematic parallels, you love to see it >:) CL already has this habit of depicting shit that I would normally attribute to the modus operandi of a supernatural, demonic force so of COURSE I was gonna get in on this LMAO

Unfortunately, unless I find a hidden stash of old CL fanart somewhere... or enough time passes for me to draw this again... this is probably my last CL art for a while </3

On a more technical note for as much time as I gave myself for this I really popped off, especially on the background o___o Code Lyoko BG art goes super hard in general though, I don't think I would have settled for anything less. Had tons of fun with the VHS effects, learned lots of new little tricks to distort images for future projects.

Also this piece is called "ENDKAMPF" in my files lol

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Why the Alpha Timeline is the Alpha Timeline

I figured I'd make a post, since it's pretty subtle and I think it genuinely passed a lot of people by? Homestuck is made up of a lot of words, haha.

The alpha timeline is described by Doc Scratch, functionally, as "the timeline that causes LE to exist."

The path which alone has my absolute mastery is the alpha timeline, a continuum I define as that which boasts exclusive rights both to my birth and to my death, two circumstantially simultaneous events.

Aranea also gives the explanation that the alpha timeline is the one where reality is perpetuated.

AG: Reality itself is using you and many others to propagate its own existence. Strictly speaking, there is only one path to its successful propagation. 8ut it still permits you to make choices.

Caliborn also states that his quest as a Lord of Time is coming to terms with the inevitability that everything, ever, in all of time, will be because of him - that he'll be the one to shape it, including the circumstances of his own defeat.

uu: AS A LORD OF TIME. I THINK I'M GOING TO MASTER TIME. NOT WITH MY BRAIN. WHICH WOULD BE TOO HARD. BUT WITH MY INSTINCTS. uu: LIKE IN A WAY THAT WORKS WITH MY NATURAL IMPULSES. SUCH AS MY AMBITION. MY WILL TO COMMIT MAYHEM. MY DESIRE TO PUNISH THOSE I DESPISE. uu: SO IF I WANT YOU TO BECOME STRONG. SO YOU CAN CHALLENGE ME LATER. AND I SEE EVIDENCE. THAT YOU PROBABLY BECOME SUCCESSFUL. uu: I THINK TO MYSELF. WHY SHOULDN'T I BE THE ONE TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN? IF IT'S GOING TO ANYWAY. uu: I THINK PART OF MY PERSONAL QUEST. IS TO BECOME AT EASE WITH THE FORCES OF INEVITABILITY. uu: INEVITABILITY THAT ALL THINGS SHOULD AND WILL FALL IN MY FAVOR. THAT ALL CAUSALITY ANSWERS TO ME. AND THAT ALL OUTCOMES NOT ONLY SERVE ME. BUT CONSIST OF MY BEING. uu: SO I FEEL THAT. THE MORE I GROW IN POWER. uu: THE MORE STUFF IT SHOULD TURN OUT I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR. uu: UP TO AND INCLUDING. EVERYTHING THAT EVER HAPPENS. uu: EVEN IF IT HAS TO BE. uu: RETROACTIVELY.

Aradia's stint as stewardess of the afterlife is explicitly described as "service to the lord of double death," and Dave explains that he acts instinctively - like Caliborn does - to fulfill the conditions of the alpha timeline. It's also worth noting that their classes, Maid and Knight, are roles that directly serve a Lord in the real world.

TEREZI: LUCK1LY YOU M4K3 4N 4DOR4BL3 H4NDM41D TO TH3 M4ST3R OF D34TH, 3SP3C14LLY 1N YOUR CUT3 CH3RRY P1X13 3NS3MBL3 ARADIA: you think so?

GG: well youre from the future right? GG: dont you know already if itll work? TG: yeah more or less TG: i never really studied how it went down all that closely TG: i just figured when the time came to sort it out the right thing to do would be obvious TG: like it is now TG: managing the loops is a balance of careful planning and just rolling with your in the moment decisions TG: and trusting they were the ones you were always supposed to make TG: by now im pretty used to having my intuition woven into the fabric of the alpha timeline

I'm starting with all that so I can explain that the GAME OVER timeline doesn't end when the time players disappear from it, like doomed timeline offshoots normally do, because it IS the alpha timeline: the sequence of events that causes GAME OVER to occur is the sequence of events that Caliborn/Lord English have chosen: one where (nearly) everyone dies, all hope of victory is lost, and his servant, the Condesce, gets to claim the Ultimate Reward, perpetuating the same misery and oppression in the new universe, and presumably all universes to come.

We see from Caliborn's chess match with Calliope that his (and by extension, LE)'s modus operandi is to follow the rules to the letter, while manipulating his opponent, tricking them with "shitty twists". It's always been explained that LE's actions have been "sanctioned by paradox space," that is, everything he's doing is explicitly allowed, nothing he's doing is against the rules - including the fact that he must be defeated. He has, via his mastery of time, perfectly engineered a situation where the only viable reality is the one where yes, he IS defeated... in the dream bubbles, by the dead and doomed, whom he sent to the dream bubbles in the first place via Condy, Jack English, and all the other boss fights. And his will, his ideals, are imposed on the new universe in spite of his defeat.

In a completely Watsonian read of the text, Lord English is an incredible villain because - subtly and unsublty - he IS basically responsible for every bad thing that ever happens, ever, to everyone. He has legitimately been the puppetmaster pulling the strings the entire time, pretty much all because Caliborn is a huge asshole who loves to hurt other people, and wants to do it as much as he can, to as many people as he can, for as long as he can.

But I think he's especially interesting through a Doylist perspective, through a reading of the text as a coming of age. Homestuck is a worth riddled with theme and symbolism, and thematically, Lord English represents everything that these kids need to overcome in order to mature into kind, empathetic adults who will be one day responsible for the care and oversight of a new universe. He represents selfishness, sadism, greed, destruction, oppression, fascism, murder, genocide, and hatred. And also literally the patriarchy.

And, you know what? Don't take my word for it. Here's Andrew Hussie's commentary from Book 6 Act 5 Act 2 Part 2:

Much of the logic [for who contributes to Lord English] orbits around these negative traits associated with men, or more specifically, the “toxically masculine” aspects often linked to certain male personalities. Dirk has a lot of these traits, which are central to Dave’s feelings of tension and abuse concerning his bro. The intellectual aggression, the power of assertion, the knowitall-ism, the mansplaining. That’s a lot of Dirk stuff when he’s at his worst. Equius shares a lot of those traits too, with some different points of emphasis. Both of them have this creepy-guy streak running through them, with strange or offputting interests, and seem to get a quiet kick out of making others uncomfortable through demonstrations of these fascinations. They are actually pretty similar characters in this way.

He's invited into the trolls' universe (and, by extension, the kids' universe) via the Dancestors, in an original sin kind of way. I'll let Hussie explain on their Formspring (emphasis mine):

We learn more about the troll race, as a once peaceful species and such before kid-ancestors as players scratched their session, though the short term relevance of this is mainly as a preamble to Scratch's religious story. Establishing an Eden-like paradise from which there is some departure through sin is sort of the boilerplate basis for religious lore. ... The failed players from peaceful Alternia made a classic "deal with the devil" move by causing the scratch after being given a choice by the mother of all monsters. (Echidna. Hey, she's a big snake!) By doing so they brought Scratch into their universe, and therefore all the things you'd expect that comes with summoning the devil.

The Dancestor's "departure through sin"? It was the fact that they couldn't get their shit together and grew up inside the Medium. That's why they're the age they are, 9 sweeps - adulthood by troll standards. They aren't kids anymore because that's the ultimate sign of having failed to do a coming of age. Symbolically, the Dancestors represent a prior generation of grown-ups that fucked everything up, leaving a huge mess for their descendents to clean up after. In fact, Doc Scratch even describes the alternate choice Echidna gave them:

The heroes could either accept their defeat along with the extinction of their race, and put no others at risk.

In other words, they could have stopped LE if they'd simply chosen not to Scratch. But once more, in line with their behavior up until that point, they chose the selfish option, and bore descendants into the world they ruined. They're immature, nasty, mean-spirited, cruel, callous, and shallow on purpose, because their role in the story is antagonistic. They're aligned (even if unwittingly) with Lord English, as they're the ones who directly invited him in via their failure to grow the fuck up.

There's also a reason why SBURB/SGRUB directly tie achieving godhood and reaching the Ultimate Reward to planetary quests fundamentally designed to help children mature. God-tiering is supposed to come at the end of one's quest, as achieving it directly teleports you to the Battlefield for the final boss.

AG: I really think how successfully they mature is tied to success in the game. It challenges the players in all the ways they need to 8e challenged to grow, which is different for every individual, and veeeeeeeery different for every race. AG: I don't think we were so hot at that aspect of the game. In fact, I'm sure we were quite awful. Hell, even I wasn't that gr8 at it! I actually just kinda fell ass 8ackwards into the god tier, to 8e honest.

And there's a perfectly functional Watsonian explanation for this - in order to increase the odds that the new universe will successfully propagate new universes, it's ideal to leave it in the hands of kind, mature people. But the Doylist explanation is, again, even more interesting.

Hussie has spoken extensively about the comic having always been about two things at its core: first, a creation myth... and second, a coming-of-age. These are complimentary themes, as Homestuck also makes statements about society and its effects on kids. In the real world, the kids of today become the voters, revolutionaries, and lawmakers of tomorrow. In Homestuck, they create, and are responsible for, a new universe.

I always saw HS as an exploration of young people developing relationships over the internet […] There’s a lot more to HS than just that obviously, but if there’s anything which it’s been about through and through, it’s modern kids relating to each other from afar, developing as people and growing up.

In fact, all the initial kids' entry artifacts are metaphors for "departures, loss of innocence, and sometimes the journey from childhood to adulthood outright." John biting an apple, symbolizing the act that cast Adam and Even from Eden. Rose breaking a bottle, the act of christening a boat, and an item integral to the main means by which she relates to her mother, alcohol - an adult substance. Dave hatching an egg, literally the act of bringing new life into the world. Jade shooting an effigy of her dog, both symbolic of Old Yeller, and of breaking a pinata, an act often done at quinceneras.

There comes a point in childhood where the child stops being a child - the safe, familiar, comfortable world that they knew stops existing, and they can never get it back. They are thrust into a world that is alien and massive, and forced to grapple with the weight of their future duties. They deal with losing their guardians and finding direction in their absence. They must decide how they want to grow up, and then are responsible for shaping the society that comes after them. In other words, SBURB/SGRUB in this metaphor represent adolescence.

Within that context, God-tiering is actually interesting because it symbolizes adulthood - a semi-permanent state that a child is supposed to reach at the end of their SBURB/SGRUB journey. And, in fact, it's treated that way - none of the characters reach god-tiering the "proper" way... and of our god-tiered characters, nearly all of them have some sort of emotional struggle with growing up too fast. Vriska with the expectations of her shitty society, Rose with her emulation of her mother, Dave with his abusive brother, and the Alpha kids with substance abuse (the jujus) and romantic drama.

Anyway, sometimes when Mario's running sideways he gets a star that makes him magic and invincible. OH. YOU MEAN HE BECOMES TRICKSTER MARIO. Yes, but less stupid. So for a while he becomes flashy and hyperactive and nothing's challenging anymore. He just starts barreling over mushrooms and leaping over pits as fast as he can, then gets to the end and jumps on the flagpole and that's it. Mario "wins". But the point is, he didn't really win. That magic star was actually devastating to his development as a human being. WHY. Because he skipped over many critical trials on his spiritual journey. Mario NEEDS to stomp on all those mushrooms. He NEEDS to bonk those bricks with his head, for the sake of his personal growth. By using the star, he is denying himself many powerful moments of catharsis.

Like... I dunno... seems pretty blatant to me!

So with Homestuck so firmly being a coming of age, and with the Dancestors - whose primary failure is that of unrelenting immaturity - being cast in an antagonistic role, doesn't that make Caliborn's position of ultimate final boss extremely fitting when we take this conversation into account?

You may be destined for bigger things, but you’re still an atrocious, stupid child. And you may have won the “game” with your sister, but that doesn’t mean it was the best thing for your development as a person. You had her dream self killed, which is not an opportunity your species typically gets. So she died prematurely, instead of allowing the conflict within you to settle itself naturally. In short, you forced your predomination to happen a little too early, and now you’re stuck. STUCK? Yes. Your personality is stuck in some sort of cantankerous prepubescent limbo. You are going to be a stunted, miserable tool forever.

He's literally a child who chose to stunt his own growth so that he could reap all the game's rewards for himself. Someone who so stubbornly desired the selfish, greedy, and immature option that he was willing to hurt himself to achieve it. Caliborn - and by extension, Lord English - is a direct symbol for the refusal to mature, to be kind, to care about other people. By including Dirk, Gamzee, and Equius at their worst, he also comes to represent misogyny, toxic masculinity, the patriarchy. He's the Condesce's master, and so by extension, he represents fascism and oppression; as Doc Scratch, he gets off on abusing girls, and so he also represents predators and abusers. And his goal is to perpetuate himself, his ideals, what he symbolically represents, down every successive generation. Much like how these cycles of abuse and oppression seek to perpetuate themselves in the real world!

And that's why the alpha timeline, the GAME OVER timeline, is the way that it is: it's one where Lord English WINS. In Lord English's version of the story, everything is fucked up forever. He might be defeated, as is the timeline's inevitability, but his politics, his bigotry, and his ideals live on.

Except.

Our Breath player gains a power that literally unsticks him from time.

Now, personally, I don't believe that the ending we got is the one that was originally intended. I don't feel the need to elaborate upon that here, but suffice to say, given how clearly and consistently these themes are set up throughout the entire rest of the comic, it just makes sense to me that the ending we got, where characters stay dead, never finish their character development, etc. etc., is a MASSIVE tonal and thematic departure, which smacks of external pressures and influences. Everything after [S] GAME OVER is soft canon to me for this reason. But there's things that survive in it that are really really interesting, so I'll mention some.

First, the pre-retcon versions of the characters still exist, as we see from (Vriska). That means that everyone who died in GAME OVER would not necessarily have stopped mattering to the plot. I firmly believe that the original ending would've seen Lord English confronted by the GAME OVER (characters), who would also have the most karmic claim to beating Lord English's face in. This would also satisfy his whole deal of playing by the rules - he knows he HAS to be defeated, he just gets to choose the circumstances of his defeat; without realizing that John's retcon powers can rewrite a timeline, he would've set up his own death to be in the bubbles, at the hands of the already-dead, while Condy claims the Ultimate Reward - thus making it so that he still wins in the end.

But Breath represents freedom, choices - and the retcon powers are something John gains mastery over after completing his personal quest, which we've established is directly tied, both literally and symbolically, into growing up and maturing. By becoming a kind, empathetic, mature adult, John is able to choose something else.

Second, that the Ultimate Self is brought up at all, which seems to me like it would mitigate the bittersweetness of the (characters) from GAME OVER staying dead - because, in my head, the original plan for the retcon was that it would bring everyone back, and therefore, all the (characters) from GAME OVER would live on through the surviving post-retcon gang, who will eventually achieve Ultimate Selfhood, as Davepetasprite^2 says they will. This would also directly mirror the words Godtier!Calliope gives to her counterpart:

CALLIOPE: bUt then... CALLIOPE: what shoUld i do? CALLIOPE: you don't need to do anything. CALLIOPE: be who you've become, and who i didn't. CALLIOPE: consume the fruits of an existence i could never understand. CALLIOPE: live.

Third, there's just so many outstanding plot threads, even for the characters that DO survive. Jake's prophesized to defeat Lord English, Dave never actually gets over his hesitance about time travel and defeating Lord English, Karkat has multiple means of bringing his dead friends back to life and doesn't say anything, Vriska and Terezi still aren't 100% reconciled, Gamzee's tragedy is never addressed, Jane, Dirk, Jake, and Roxy never really figure out their situationship, etc. etc. etc. ... to say nothing about all the plot threads left dangling for the characters that stay dead.

And finally...

Isn't that just kind of a better story? One where the kids get to grow, change, learn from their mistakes, and create a better, kinder universe, after defeating the avatars of cruelty, oppression, and immaturity?

Is it just me? Haha.

[boyfridged]

leslie does not appear in the post-crisis crime alley intro. in her stead, there's another older woman whose work is thought to be altruistic, one with potential to transform the lives of the desperate and condemned (from such a young age, too) -- ma gunn. of course, soon we learn that her charity is but a ruse, and she uses her reputation and position to exploit those most vulnerable. here it is -- the cynical 'subversion' that will become the staple of the post-crisis batman for years to come.

but arguably, despite the appearances, it is not ma gunn who truly takes leslie's place in the narrative. that place being, of course, both the symbol of the hope of the crime alley and a counterpoint to batman's philosophy. it is, instead, the main character of second chances -- jason. jason, whom bruce meets in the same alley his parents died, but who makes bruce laugh upon their first encounter. jason, who has a strong sense of justice, despite it not quite aligning with bruce's -- jason who does not care about what bruce thinks of him being a thief, jason who insists it does not make him a crook; jason who has no care for the label of 'criminality' in itself (just as leslie, who insists that talking of 'criminals' in the alley is non-productive and that in targeting them, bruce would just prey on those unfortunate). jason who is to become gotham's light as robin, but who also is tied to its darkest place.

there is, of course, a problem here -- jason is a child. and so, what was seen as a genuine challenge to batman before -- the lack of care for the 'criminal' label, is now seen as a corruption of the youth that can be "treated" like all disease that crime is (and can be also used as an excuse for the child endangerment - by collins and so, by bruce whom he writes too). and surely, soon enough, without much commentary from the narrative itself, after a timeskip, we are introduced to jason whose background is of very little relevance. as a child, and as robin, he is (for a time) malleable. he believes in batman just as dick grayson did. until starlin takes the run over, and jason is to become a 'challenge' again -- but this time there is no authentic consideration for the politics and societal reality behind it. the conflict that leads to aditf is first and foremost one around bruce's role as a parent, and less so about his strategy. and even in the garzonas' case, there's this confusion -- jason's complaints are not about the system, but about their efficiency. it's all back to batman's theoretical framework. and when jason comes back from the dead, year after -- that is what happens with the red hood modus operandi too. all of this a direct reference to competence of batman, jason's background becoming a stereotype it was supposed to go against.

thankfully, before all that happens, and quite hurriedly post-crisis, someone (barr) realises leslie needs a comeback -- and it is the best she was ever written, her voice clear and strong. my beginning... and my probable end is, to me, the batman thesis. here we have bruce wayne, loving -- and here we have all of bruce's flaws exposed. leslie's first ever complaint post-crisis is about jason's role as robin, and so she becomes a cassandra, but it's so important to pay attention to their relationships. "you're doing it for yourself" is what leslie says, and she is right in believing it is not jason who needs robin. and jason, there, on a hospital bed, between them -- this is what his role in the narrative becomes. a consequence of a grand idea of batman that leslie was always against; but also someone who's life stretches in between these two beliefs, someone who came all the way from being so like leslie, only for him to become so entangled in vigilantism that there's hardly any reference to any of it left. and leslie was there, to see.

how both of their stances get stereotyped; how their initial roles get delegated into villainy or (in case of leslie) pettiness, is in a way a litmus paper for the condition of batman's comics. and it's just absurd how we never get to see them together after jason's resurrection; how the two most important characters of the crime alley cannot be afforded to share narrative space. that is, of course, because it would mean a confrontation of what jason was, and what he became.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Based on our DMs, Wukong and Macaque met is actually really, really cute. And also kinda scary becaise of depictions of child abductions and exploitation. What we discussed was that at, unlike in the book, Wukong had not officially been crowned the Monkey King at the time he hadn't left for Subodhi's but rather had held the title of soemthing similar to a prince, the confirmed next ruler of the tribe but not yet because he was, quite frankly, far too young. During those intervening years, the Stalwarts, most of whom were much older than him and reaching their own late teen/young adult stages when he had gone on his first pilgrimage for immortality, handled the majority of the regency stuff. They'd wanted their little brother to enjoy being a kid as long as possible and learn and grow at his new school.

Unfortunately, that isn't what ended up happening, as when Wukong had his falling out with Subodhi and returned home, he found the place in a very dire state. A terrifying beast of a demon had taken all the cubs hostage, using them to exploit the tribe and force them to work for him as their servants. It's something of a modus operandi for this version of the Demon King of Havoc, as we've discussed him not simply stopping at the demons of FFM, but having made an empire of sorts of exploiting celestials, demons, spirits, and dragons alike by holding their young hostage. Amongst those hostages were a young, headstrong bull prince, a pair of celestial princes, a trio of celestial animals, and most importantly... a unique little monkey demon who was adopted and raised amongst the celestials as the younger siblings of the moon goddess, and an unhatched dragon egg. All of their parents were held at bay from the fear of what Havoc would do to the kids.

Wukong, naturally, challenged the Demons King of Havoc, but where the book depicted him as easily as in the book and had on fact been forced to flee the first time around, albeit with a handful of his monkeys escaping with him. One of them gave him the idea of reaching out to the other kingdoms for help, which is how he came to be at Ao Guang's doorstep way back when. He and the other dragon signs had been reluctant to help, frightened Ao Jun's unhatched child would be harmed, but Wukong had managed to convince them to at least let himself be armed. And then Ruyi Jingu Bang began to call for Wukong, and the famous weapon found it's a true owner. They also gave him the armor he is known for wearing as well, but insists they Wukong never mention it was they who armed him.

With that, Wukong was ready for his second match against Havoc. This time, it went much better, but it was a very close thing. He had been gravely injured, and had he not had that first layer of immortality, he would certainly have died! But the fighting was enough, and while Havoc was with the then young monkey prince's challenge, a certain other monkey had taken advantage of the distraction to make their own escape and help free all the other children. Nezha and Erlang had never known that Wukong had been the one to defeat Havoc, having not seen the end of the battle while they eld the children to safety, so the credit for the rescie had fallen to another.

The monkeys, the bull prince, and the trio of celestial animals, however, had a much clearer view of the fight and were able to view the final outcome. How Wukong had soundly defeated the demon that had held them captive for so long, only to collapse moments later. When Wukong later awoke, having had his adventure in the Diyu in-between, it was to the sight of a gorgeous black furred monkey who he tecognized as having been and old cubhood playmate who used to have snow white fur tending his wounds and calling him and idiot for trying to get out of bed when he wasn't well. Shortly after, Wukong is officially crowned the Monkey King.

Yesss, been meaning for an excuse to share this idea we had!

This is all considered canon in the Tkmati AU and a lot of the other aus.

The Stalwarts and the Elder knew that Wukong was still just a little guy, too young to be a King/Matriarch of his own troop. So when he showed interest in the world beyond Alolai, they were happy to let him go. He was still a fresh soul and needed to roam, like a bird seeking migration.

They just had not expected someone to view their dear island as the perfect base for their terrible dominion.

The Demon of Havoc was such a dangerous foe, rising quickly in the ranks because he did the one thing that threatened every layer of society be it demon, celestial or dragon; hold their children captive and at his mercy.

DBK, then just Bull or Niu, had been a headstrong teenage prince of the Underworld at the time. And whilst he'd huff about his capture for centuries to come, he will always sing the praises of the tiny yellow-orange monkey that came to his (and many others) aid!

Among the celestials, it had initially been Erlang, then still barely a demi-god, that had been captured. After the Jade Emperor did the divine equivalent of a shrug, the Havoc Demon upped the stakes by snaring the Third Lotus Prince that came to his cousin's aid. Azure, Yellowtusk, and Peng had each been sent forward by their masters as scouts to determine who or what had taken Nezha captive, only to be themselves captured by the Havoc demon and his lackeys.

The dragon egg had been shockingly the most difficult to acquire. The future royal dragon had been protected by the coils of his parents and elder siblings. But all it took was for a well-timed sleep bug, and another stolen prince (the Flood Dragon, often believed to be an illegitimate child of the Southern Sea King) to get the egg in his clutches.

And of course thats not mentioning all the "lesser" demon clans the Havoc King kept at bay. Wukong's home had simply been a good base of operations in the grand scheme of things.

So imagine the look on The Demon King of Havoc's face when a tiny barely-teenage monkey demon in a school robe bust down his door, demanding that he release all of his people. The fiend had cackled in the cub's face! But was concerned when the child, although forced to flee, seemed to be holding a vast wealth of power...

The Dragon Kings seeing this little monkey offering to take down the fiend, and all wondering if he could be the key to saving their pups. By weaponizing Wukong, they could hide their involvement where they could not if they sent any of their own kind to face the Havoc King. The ancient water-pole calling out to the monkey as it's master had been what ultimately convinced them to armour the young demon for battle.

I like the idea of Wukong nearly dying after his fight with Havoc intersecting with his trip to Diyu, and him confronting the Ten Kings. Wukong taking his and many others names from the Books of the Dead now becomes an act fuelled by worry not for himself, but for his people - unsure who managed to escape during his fight with Havoc.

When his eyes opened and he saw that gorgeous dark fur and butterfly-shaped face mask, Wukong wondered if this was what awaited him in the afterlife? Until he tried moving, hurt himself, and the beautiful monkey called him a moron.

It would be only in the months afterwards that Bull/Niu would explain the process of courtnapping, reverse-courtnapping, that Wukong realised that he and Macaque ("Yuehua/Moonflower" when they were cubs) had accidentally declared romantic interest in one another. Macaque didn't care to mention that the Havoc King had stolen him as a bride, and was impatiently trying to speed up the courting period before Wukong arrived. All the shadow monkey knew was that this old playmate of his had saved him and many others from an uncertain fate, for reasons he simply could not fathom - he would not accept "Cus' its the right thing" as an answer.

The Brotherhood having been the ones to see the fight directly, were the most impressed, hence why they decided to form a brotherhood-contract with the monkey. Whilst the celestial animals had seen it as more of a tactical strategy (make the monkey an ally), Bull had seen it as akin to adopting a little brother (considering the one at home, could you blame him?). And Macaque? Well it took him a moment to realise that Wukong wasn't asking to marry all of them! The shadow monkey quickly coughed and agreed to the platonic contract.

Romance between the two monkeys bloomed after that adventure.

In a number of AUs, the Havoc King is eventually revived, and up to his old tricks.

Namely in the Hidden Egg Au; he learns that Sun Wukong has a child of his own now...

[criticallyacclaimedstranger]

My Place or Yours? [Joel x f!reader]

Read on Ao3

Ship: Joel Miller x you/f!reader

Tags/warnings: Reader doesn't like weddings, kissing.

Summary: You're being tortured at a wedding, but there is a man there who saves your evening.

Words: 1,550

A/N: This is written for the Summer Lovin' challenge by @pedgito, who also made the moodboard. I picked the theme 'wedding', which was a weird choice for me because I really hate weddings, but I got Joel to help me get through it. Enjoy!

”I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

Had those magic words only been the end of your misery, this day would have been easy-peasy. But no, you wouldn’t get off the hook that easily. It was only the beginning of an evening filled with awkward speeches, parental tears, and drunk best men giving dubious toasts.

You just don’t do weddings well. Anyone you ever talked to would tell you that it’s because you’ve been burned, because you’re single, ”once you find Mr Right you’ll start to plan your own wedding!”, et cetera, et cetera. Maybe that’s true, but with your disposition, it doesn’t seem likely that you’ll ever understand the point of paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for one single day during which both your parents get to watch you make out after a minister has sprinkled some magic words over the two of you. It’s just not in your nature. You never dreamed about a fairytale wedding when you were little, and you thought your friends would wise up when you got older, but no. As soon as the question was popped, they all reverted back to their childhood selves, and began planning as if for the event of the millennia.

You’ve been to three weddings these last few years, and it doesn’t get any easier. It’s embarrassing, lavish, awkward, and weird. And as always, you’re there without a partner, and must sit there with a fake smile plastered on your face, with no one to bitch to. At least you’re not the only single one at this wedding; that’s happened before, and even if you didn’t mind being single, you were definitely feeling blue when you got home that night.

At least dinner is good. This particular bride isn’t following any fad diets that she’s forcing on everybody, so you’re enjoying a really delicious three course meal. Still, what would a wedding dinner be without interruptions in the form of long, meandering speeches? You are forced to put down your cutlery one too many times, and by the time you’re finishing your delicious medium rare steak, it’s already cold. Chasing leftover sauce with a piece of bread, you nod encouragingly at the waiter asking you if you want more wine. You want to ask them to leave the bottle, but they probably wouldn’t find it funny.

Too tired to make polite conversation, you start to wait for the unofficial break between main course and dessert, when people get up to stretch their legs. It’s your opportunity to get away for a bit. You even have a modus operandi for it: you bum a cigarette from one of the smokers even though you’ve never smoked, go to the side, and pretend to smoke it for as long as you can. If the venue is nice, you then walk around and inspect it. This wedding offers a lot in that aspect: it’s a big house, almost a mansion, in the countryside, with a park and lots of smaller, old buildings on the premises. Perfect for hiding, and then you can just return back to the dining-hall late and blame getting lost.

When the break finally is announced, you let the smokers leave first. By the time they're greedily sucking on their cigarettes, you show up and ask for one. Cigarette in hand, and nod in agreement with the light conversation: yes, it was a beautiful ceremony, yes, the dinner is delicious, yes, the bride is so pretty and the groom so handsome. Eventually, you make a break for it, saying something about wanting to see the premises. So you walk away, flicking away the pillar of ash on your unsmoked cigarette.

The din of the house grows distant as you walk across the yard, shamelessly dropping the cigarette and crushing it with your foot before heading for the garden, quickly as if to escape the disgusting smoke. Once you reach the first, fragrant rose bushes, you start to relax. You find a bench and sink down on it with a relieved sigh. The light breeze smells of oleander, the birds are chirping, and it's pleasantly warm. Perfect.

You dig into your evening bag and check your phone. No messages, of course: most of your friends are at the wedding. Putting the phone away to instead enjoy the garden, you remain seated for a little longer than you know is considered polite. When you finally rise to go back, you notice someone approaching you. A man, around your age, a friend of the groom's, you think, but you've never talked to him.

"Hi," he calls out. "You okay?"

"Sure," you nod easily, "I just needed some air."

"A lot calmer here, isn't it?" He's standing in front of you now, all broad shoulders and narrow hips. Very handsome, but you're feeling defensive, and when your answer delays a little too long, he clears his throat.

"Sorry. Hi." He extends his right hand. "Joel. I'm a friend of Mark's."

You take his hand and give him your name. He doesn't let go immediately after shaking your hand.

"Nice to meet you." That smile. Goddammit, that's a charming smile. When his warm hand finally unclasps yours, you want to reach for it again.

"Can I help you, Joel?" you ask instead, trying to sound unperturbed.

"I saw you leave and wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Why wouldn't I be okay?"

He shrugs lightly, passing a hand over his hair. A curl bounces back to gently lick his forehead.

"You just looked like you weren't maybe having such a good time."

Well, shit. You thought you  had been keeping a straight face, but clearly you had failed. Your gaze flickers, and you clear your throat.

“Don’t tell anyone, but I’m not good at weddings.”

He chuckles low, but not maliciously.

“It shows.”

“Yeah, well, it’s hard to keep a straight face for all these hours,” you snap, a little harsher than intended. Joel holds his hand to his chest.

“Didn’t mean to offend you.”

You shake your head. “Don’t worry. We better get back before they send out a search party.”

“Hey, lemme make it up to you. Can I have the first dance with you?”

Frowning, you eye him, expecting him to be joking. But his gaze is open and honest.

“Sure,” you eventually smile. “Find me when the dancing starts.”

And so it is that after dessert and another couple of meandering speeches, after the bride and groom have danced their first dance, Joel finds you in the crowd. He leads you to the dancefloor with a steady hand, and when he puts his arm around your waist, you don’t mind that his hand comes to a rest a little lower than expected. He keeps eye contact, but not in a creepy way as he makes small talk, asking you about your life more than he talks about his own. He seems genuinely interested in you, and that makes your head swim more than the alcohol.

When the music changes to something more energetic, you pull him to the side.

“Not my cup of tea,” you explain, and he nods, seemingly happy with being off the dancefloor as people begin to shake their asses.

“A drink?”

“Sure.”

He takes you to the bar and you both get drinks. The bride and her bridesmaids are cheering loudly on the dancefloor, and the noise is beginning to wear you down.

“Let’s go out?” you suggest to Joel, who nods.

There are some people scattered around the yard, but the garden is empty. The smell of roses is even stronger now when the hour is late, and you notice that you’re actually enjoying yourself. Joel is so easy to talk to, you’re comfortable in his company, and he makes you laugh.

“Hey,” you finally say. “Thanks for not being weird about me not liking weddings.”

“Why would I be weird about it?” He sounds genuinely surprised.

“Because everybody loves weddings, and I just can’t,” you shrug, but with a hint of desperation in your voice. “And if you don’t like them, then you’re just bitter and probably in need of the right person to have your own wedding with.”

He’s quiet for a moment, sips his drink.

“I know I can keep a secret,” he starts, his voice low, “but can you?”

“I can.”

“I don’t like weddings, either.”

You stare at him for a moment before slapping his arm.

“You could’ve told me earlier!”

He laughs. “I know, I know, I’m sorry!”

“Asshole!” you blurt out, but can’t say more, because Joel’s lips are on yours, and you drop your glass on the gravel where it shatters, splashing liquor over your feet. And you don’t give a single goddamn. Your hands come up to his shoulders, pulling him closer, and you kiss him back, tasting the whiskey on him, a peppery twang from the steak he had earlier, the bristles on his face scratching your skin.

When you finally have to step back to take a breather, he licks his lips and looks at you with heavy-lidded, dreamy eyes.

“Not too soon?”

“No,” you shake your head, “Just perfect.”

He grins. “How soon d’you think it would be polite to leave?”

“I don’t care, we’ve suffered enough. My place or yours?”

[writinginatree]

Adaptability Part 2

Relationship(s): Bodhi Durran/female!reader

Warnings: Canon-typical violence

A/N: Sorry this part is so much shorter than the first. I feel like it wraps the whole thing up pretty nicely as it is, though :)

Part 1

Being a third-year does have its perks, you muse as you sprawl on Bodhi's bed. It's bigger and more comfortable than yours because he's been appointed section leader, and gives you yet another excuse to spend all your free time in his room instead of yours. Not that you need excuses. Bodhi would stay glued to your side every second of every day if he could, and if anyone ever notices you slipping into his room for the night, they don't seem to care.

In the weeks since your return to Basgiath you have discovered that being blind makes people a lot more tolerant of any misbehavior from you in general. They think you're helpless, that it's just a matter of time until you die, anyway. Though even so, leadership still views you as enough of a threat that there have been attempts on your life, too. Not as many as on the others that were at Resson, but still.

The first time it had been close, the attacker taking you by surprise, but since then you've kept on guard, and sharpened your remaining senses with various exercises. Sneaking up on you isn't so easy anymore, especially since your echolocating skills are coming along nicely, too.

Upon your return, you had taken a trip to the archives with Bodhi the first chance you got to borrow some books on echolocation. Of course you couldn't read them yourself, but Bodhi and Imogen had been happy to help — there wasn't much else to do anyway in the five days between graduation and conscription day. One book on the bio sonar — another term for echolocation — of bats had been particularly helpful. From it, you had learned that the animals use it in two different ways. What you had been doing so far were CF calls — constant frequency. These calls have a big range, and are ideal for detecting the movement and velocity of a target out in the open, but as you already noticed yourself, they lack precision. The other 'modus', which is more suitable for close, cluttered environments, is called FM — frequency modulated. Those calls vary in pitch, a downward sweep through a range of frequencies to get all the details. They have a shorter range, but allow for a much more precise localization.

Getting the hang of frequency modulated calls is tricky — the first few days of experimenting with it almost drove you up the walls with frustration —, but you're getting there. It will never be the same as being able to see, of course, but that's okay. You've made your peace with being blind, and know you're still just as capable of being a rider as you were when you still had your eyesight. And when you do need help with something, you can always count on your friends.

Today challenges are starting, and despite all the training you've put in, you're a little nervous. This will be the first time since your injury that you're fighting for real, and not just against one of your friends. Judging by the way Bodhi is pacing the room, he's even more nervous than you.

"Relax," you say, rising from the bed and stepping into his path to pull him into a hug. "I'll be fine."

"I know," Bodhi says, but he's practically vibrating with nervous energy. "Just promise you'll be careful."

"Of course. Come on, let's get breakfast. You are done getting ready, right?"

Little things like that, your signet and sharpened senses don't help with. You feel the soft fabric of his shirt under your hands, but you can't tell if his shoes are tied properly, if he's done styling his hair, if maybe there's a speck of toothpaste left in the corner of his mouth. Though the latter is easy enough to find out — a swift kiss, and nope, you don't taste any toothpaste on his lips.

"Yeah, I'm done," he nods, and takes your hand, and you step out into the hallway together.

You don't need his guidance to navigate the halls anymore, but you enjoy the closeness, and if it makes others think he's guiding you — well, all the better, because life is so much easier when your enemies underestimate you. Though you suppose they will reevaluate if — when, Fonn's voice in your head insists — you win your challenge later. Violet somehow found out who your opponent will be — a guy from second wing, bigger than you, but only an average fighter. In theory, he shouldn't be much trouble for you. You watched him in the gym yesterday — or rather, Bodhi had, while you studied his technique with the help of your signet. Maybe that wasn't entirely fair, but denying yourself the advantage that comes with knowing your opponent would have been stupid.

You're glad when it's finally time to head to the gym. The anticipation is the worst part, the nagging worry that you're not ready, that no amount of training will be enough to get your fighting skills back to what they were before your vision was taken from you. You refuse to let these thoughts take hold in your mind. You'll be fine. In your training sessions, you'd managed to defeat both Bodhi and Imogen multiple times, and you know neither of them would ever do you the dishonor of going easy on you. If you can keep up with them, then some random idiot who's not even that good a fighter won't stand a chance against you.

You'll try if you can win without echolocation, but while the use of signets is technically forbidden during challenges, you won't let that deter you from using it should it become necessary. There is no way for others to detect the sound waves, so it's not like anyone will know what you're doing. The Riders Quadrant doesn't exactly accommodate disability, so you have to help yourself, even if that means breaking a rule here and there.

Bodhi gives your hand an encouraging squeeze when you're called onto the mat, and you know he'll be watching the whole time, ready to step in if anything goes wrong.

You take a deep breath and roll your shoulders as your opponent sneers about having to fight the only blind cadet in the quadrant, complaining that he was hoping for a real fight. He'll change his mind about that soon enough, you think to yourself. After you're done kicking his ass, he'll wish you were as helpless as he thinks you are.

You calm your breathing, turning your focus to the sounds your opponent makes — the soft rustling of his clothes, the drag of a boot against the mat as he shifts on his feet, his breathing, heavy in anticipation of the fight. You've spent endless hours in the gym with your friends, practicing to track an opponent by sound alone. Now it's time to put all that training to use. You'll resort to using echolocation if you need it, but first you want to try if you can win without it.

"Of course you can," Fonn scoffs in your mind. "That fool is no match for you."

"Hush. Let me focus."

Professor Emetterio gives the go, and you immediately attack. Your punch lands on your opponent's shoulder — he tried to twist out of the way at the last second. But you did hit him. You follow with another punch, not giving him any time to recover from the surprise of you knowing where he is. This time your fist collides with his cheek, and he stumbles a step backwards, but by now he has collected himself enough to take a swing at your face. You feel the rush of air preceding his fist and duck, using the opening to land a punch to his stomach.

A pained wheeze tells you the punch landed right on target. You kick where his knee should be, saying a silent prayer that you will manage to take him down and get him into a hold that will force him to surrender. The shorter this fight goes on for, the better. A thud tells you your foe has hit the floor just as intended, and you crouch down, managing to block a punch with one hand as you pull your dagger with the other. It takes precious seconds to find his throat, but then you have him at your mercy, leaving him no choice but to yield, unless he has a death wish.

Fonn's pride reverberates through you as you victoriously step off the mat to where you know Bodhi is waiting for you. You let out a sigh of relief. You did it. And it hadn't even been as hard as you'd feared it would be.

Bodhi's hand slips into yours as come to stand next to him as the next challenge is called. His lips brush your cheek. "I'm proud of you, darling. I knew you could do it."

You smile, leaning your head on his shoulder as you tap into the stream of Fonn's magic to follow the next match through your echolocation. Maybe she's not entirely wrong in constantly telling you you're the fucking best.

[abbreviated-calibrations]

I was going to draw an oc, but I got sidetracked and ended up messing around with the “my wife fucking left me” color palette

This palette challenge belongs to @m-chromatic!

[strawberrybobamilk]

Bloody Signs (Homelander x Investigator!Reader)

WARNING: SELF HARM, BLOOD AND VIOLENCE

This is some crappy The Boys fanfic (with some Homelander x reader if you squint, and GenV reference) based on a dream I had tonight. Sorry if it's a little crappy and kinda lore inaccurate but I had to write it before I forgot it.

"Go on" Homelander prompted.

"The modus operandi seems to be the same everytime they attack" you continue, your eyes fixed on the tablet playing the recording of the last attack "It's the third time this week. Each time this unknown supe cuts their wrist and use their... blood related powers, to attack their victim. Interesting to see how they can use their blood as a weapon".

Third time this week. Each time this supe targets another supe, always one working for Vought. The first two times they killed in dark alleyways and streets, but this time they grew more confident: this time, the victim of this blood powered supe was none other than Firecracker; she was there on stage, in front of a large crowd, spewing her usual bullshit like always, when she suddendly got hit to her neck by an almost imperceptible blade-like string of blood. She instantly dropped dead, the crowd screaming horrified.

Homelander couldn't care less about Firecracker's demise. His blue eyes squinted to the screen, in particular the blood pooling behind her head, forming the letters 'BUTCHER', and his jaw twitched.

"The killer always leaves behind this message right after they killed a supe" you explained, pausing the video and pointing to the letters.

"...everytime..." his jaw twitched even more. You blinked and yelped as you suddendly felt your tablet getting obliterated by his lasers, you luckily letting it go just in time. He needed some time to recompose himself and walked out.

You heard a little cough behind you. It was The Deep.

"Yes?"

The Deep gulped "I mean... does this mean vampires are real?"

-

Homelander is still in his room thinking about the whole situation.

"How is The Deep?" he asks you when he hears you walk in.

You sigh "He says he is going around with a cross now whenever he is out"

"That worked with Ezekiel"

"No it's because..." you stop yourself "forget it"

He stopped staring absent mindedly at the windows glass to turn to you "Y/N... what do you think of me?"

You blink a couple times, taken aback by the question "What do you mean?"

His smile turned upside down "Just answer me" he said in a dangerous low growl.

You blurted out "You're... very powerful" his eyebrow raised "I meant, the most powerful man... I mean, supe, that ever existed"

He smiled, satisfied by your answer "Ding ding ding, that's correeeect!" he said in a sing a song voice, that however quickly morphed in annoyance "And you tell me, that some... D tier supe with blood powers, is now allied with Butcher and challenging ME?! Oooohh nononono, they have no idea who they are fucking with. No fucking idea at all" he cupped your cheeks with his gloved hand, with surprising gentleness, but the intensity of the moment was enough to make you gasp.

His face got close to you, whispering "You've done good Sherlock, you've done good" he whispers in your ear "Keep doing a good job and I might reward you"

"Hey" you two both heard a voice. It was Black Noir II, with a bag of fries in his hand "I gathered some for my Deep bro, you want some? We need food for the incoming vampires invasion"

You do your best to ignore Homelander lashing out at Black Noir II and The Deep, your brain instead repeating the video on loop in your mind, mostly the blood forming the words 'BUTCHER', and to that same word uttered by Homelander a few minutes ago. It wasn't just a bloody text on the ground, it was an enemy. A threat to Homelander's empire. Ironically built on blood, and seemingly about to be destroyed on blood.

[cityof2morrow]

CDK: City Hall

Published: 9-25-2024 | Updated: N/A SUMMARY Cubic Dynamics by John B. Cube and Marcel Dusims forged the future with furnishings that were minimalist in design and maximalist in erudite pretension. Generations later, the company continues to produce edge-of-cutting-edge designs. Use the Cubic Dynamics Kitbash (Simmons, 2023-2024) collection to set up corporate, exposition, and office environments. Envisioned as an add-on to the Cubic Dynamics set (EA/Maxis, archived at GOS), it features minimalist and retro-futuristic objects. Find more CC on this site under the #co2cdkseries tag. Read the Backstory and ‘Dev Notes’ HERE. How’s that build-a-city-challenge going?...because those courtroom, town hall, and city hall chambers are lookin’ a little bald headed. Why not spruce it up with the CITY HALL set! Place one of the decorative assembly desks, then add chairs and portable assembly desks. Your council members, judges, lawyers, and other sims are ready to go to work!

DETAILS All EPs/SPs. §See Catalog for Pricing | See Buy/Build Mode You need the Company Expo (Mesh Pack) set (Simmons, 2024) for TXTRs to show properly in game. ALL files with “MESH” in their name are REQUIRED. You may need “move objects” and “grid on/off” cheats to place some objects to your liking. When placing partitions/floating shelves and tables/desks/counters on the same tile, place the partition/shelves first. I recommend using this set with Object Freedom 1.02 (Fway, 2023), which includes Numenor’s fix for OFB shelves (2006), for easier use overall. ITEMS Assembly Desks (Small/Large) (1858 poly) – use with portable desk Judge’s Chair (~835 poly) Counselor’s Chair (1377 poly) Counselor’s Desk (402 poly) HoloProjector (2546 poly, HIGH) – place on same tile as hologram Holograms (192 poly) Portable Assembly Desk (733 poly) DOWNLOAD (choose one) from SFS | from MEGA The hologram is functional and comes with 30+ recolors...

COMPATIBILITY AVOID DUPLICATES: The #co2cdkseries includes edited versions – replacements - for items in the following CC sets: 4ESF (office 3, other 1/artroom, other 2/build), All4Sims/MaleorderBride (miskatonic library, office, postmodern office), CycloneSue (never ending/privacy windows), derMarcel (inx office), Katy76/PC-Sims (bank/cash point, court/law school sets, sim cola machine), Marilu (immobilien office), Murano (ador office), Reflex Sims (giacondo office), Retail Sims/HChangeri (simEx, sps store), Simgedoehns/Tolli (focus kitchen, loft office, modus office), ShinySims (modern windows), Shoukeir via Sims2Play(reverie office, step boxes/shelving), Spaik (sintesi study), Stylist Sims (offices 1,2, & 3, Toronto set), Tiggy027 (wall window frames 1-10), Wall Sims (holly architecture, Ibiza). *The goal is link the objects to the recolors/new functions in the #co2cdkseries without re-inventing the wheel! Credit to the original creators. CREDITS Thanks: EarlyPleasantview/EPV, Panda, Soloriya, ChocolateCitySim, HugeLunatic, Klaartje, Ocelotekatl, Whoward69, LoganSimmingWolf, Gayars, Ch4rmsing, Ranabluu, Gummilutt, Crisps&Kerosene, LordCrumps, PineappleForest. Sources: Any Color You Like (CuriousB, 2010), Beyno (Korn via BBFonts), EA/Maxis, Offuturistic Infographic (Freepik). SEE CREDITS (ALT)

[shallowseeker]

Deep down, I think AU Michael wanted Jack by his side.

Having an enemy like Jack was probably the most direction he’d felt in ages. It gave his aimless war structure... like a sense of pseudo-purpose.

///

It was a balm against all that nihilism, if only because Jack was something concrete to strive against.

///

AU Michael’s nihilism is his outward response to grief. It grew out of God abandoning him, and because killing Lucifer was a sacrifice that meant nothing in the end.

But what makes it so compelling is that Michael's secret, inward wound seems to be a deep loneliness, a hunger for companionship. And that comes out... in his interactions with Jack.

In 14x01, Michael tests the people around him with the question, "What do you want?" If their wants are predictable and manageable, they’re easier to keep at an emotional arm’s length. (Easier NOT to be disappointed by.)

(SEE: This is also a Chuck and Amara theme. ALSO SEE: Metatron and Chuck in Don't Call Me Shurley.)

And...

Humans are too lost / too complicated / too real (SEE: Michael does VERY badly with contradictions and nuance):

Angels-"soldiers" are too armored / too homesick / too wound up waving the flags of things they don't care about to cover up all the things they care about TOO MUCH.

AU Michael doesn't want people that are attached to the idea of home, a family (i.e. people who are traditionally more like Dean or Cas)

AU Michael thinks he wants people who are fully committed to his cause—people who don’t care about redemption, who aren’t trying to fix their families or make peace with their pasts, and who don’t want to save the world….

He believes that makes them strong. But really, this is a companion who just wants to be supported. Not challenged. (Not lived with, through all of life's disappointments and complexities.)

It works for missions because:

It's (poughkeepsie) "Pure" and "Simple."

///

Because here's. The thing.

Despite Michael's modus operandi being revealed as NIHILISM...

And despite him wanting to be surrounded with all these loyal companions...

…what he wants REALLY wants is the complicated mess of FAMILY.

The one thing he never honestly asks himself... is what what he HIMSELF wants deep down.

(SPOILER: it's not as simple as destruction and revenge...)

In a very Sam-coded fashion, I think Michael's disdain is a mirror.

I think what he hates in humans and angels is what he hates in himself. Like humans, he doesn’t really know what he wants beyond nihilism and revenge on his father. He's lost, too.

And though he’d never admit it, like angel-soldiers, he’s homesick.

But… he can never go home, because he destroyed his home…

…and everyone he loved.

///

If what AU Michael really longs for is family—it becomes clear why he’s so fixated on Jack…

…and why he’s so cruel to Jack...

Michael is being "sarcastic" here, but he's ALSO revealing his hand.

He’s actually totally transparent about it, in the way only someone deeply in denial can be.

When Jack says, “No. I hate you,” it vexes Michael, even if he won't admit it.

Make no mistake, Michael’s following lecture about power is a secret appeal to Jack.

“You'll see it all... with me,” is the hand showing itself again... and why Michael REALLY wanted to kidnap Jack.

It's why Michael can't help but pivot next to the ones he's actually jealous of: Cas, Sam, Dean.

And Jack's faith in them... is also vexing.

///

14x09 (via @spnscripthunt-inactive)

"A moment of familial weakness," Michael later admits.

He's bragging about his superiority to the humans / Cas because it irritates him that Jack is more loyal to THEM than he is to Michael.

And of course, there's the elephant in the room: The most painful thing in the universe for AU Michael to face WOULD OF COURSE be a father that loves a son. A family that loves and is loyal to each other despite all the complexities, negativities, and imperfections.

And it's why he gets so vicious with Jack, too, in the next scene:

(It's why this -> "They don't love you.")

WHICH IS OF COURSE AU MICHAEL CODE FOR:

"Despite all my bluster and my nihilism, it upsets me you don't want ME as your family."

(A) I'm going to pretend that I never kidnapped you and wanted to be your family in the first place

(B) family is a JOB anyway it doesn't matter... Lucifer was an obligation that I do NOT MISS... NOPE NOTHING TO SEE HERE

(C) Actually, now that I think about it, I really want to hurt you for not picking ME, Jack

All in all...

Jack was the first thing in a long time... that gave AU Michael's endless nightmare life some meaning.