#monoma.rtf

[ua-monoma]

[And of course he can’t sleep that night, because every time he closes his eyes she’s there, sitting on his chest, straddling his hips, realer than she’s ever felt before, her hands around his neck, her knife against his throat, smiling at him. And course he can’t concentrate in class the next day, because every time he even blinks, he sees her, he feels her, sitting on his lap, draping against his back, pressing in, fingers tightening in his hair, tightening around him, giggling, so tight, and he can’t breathe...]

[ua-monoma]

[The notebook Best Jeanist had gifted him is open at his computer’s side. Quietly, he jots something down in it, scrawling fast before returning to his keyboard, the room filling with the lightly aggressive taps of the keys as he types. After a few minutes, he clicks something, then returns to the notebook, scrawling, and then again, back to his typing. Again and again.

Slowly but surely, the list of hero names he’s writing gets longer and longer as he works.]

[ua-monoma]

He holds himself together for her.

Eri’s smile is bright and it’s beautiful. It takes everything he has and more to match every one, but he does, beaming at her with every grin she gives him.

It’s what she deserves. She deserves to be happy.

And what about what he deserves?

He deserves to fall apart, rip apart, tear into shreds. 

He holds it all in, smiling, laughing.

He keeps trying to be beautiful, too.

[ua-monoma]

Happy Birthday Monoma (Anon hands Monoma a gift bag. Monoma reaches inside to find a leather bound copy of Le Petit Prince, the cover was cobalt blue and decorated with gold stars. When Monoma opened the book, a golden star lapel pin fell into the palm of his hand. In the middle of the star was a small fleur-de-lis design.) I figured you can read the book on your flight, and the pin, I thought it would look charming on you. Fleur-de-lis symbolizes purity and light.

[Having lost the time to do it at home, Monoma brings all his presents onto the flight with him. He has twelve whole hours to get lost in them all, so he takes his time unwrapping them, savoring each and every one before moving to the next.

The book is a pleasant surprise!! It’s a story he remembers from his childhood, though he can’t remember ever reading it again since growing up some. It’s a sweet thing to receive, the idea of revisiting something so dear to him when he was young warming his heart as he runs his fingers over the stars. 

The note the presents come with, however, are far more bittersweet. He reads the words, the pin twisting gently in his hands, a sad smile on his face.

Purity and light.

What a foreign concept, at this point.

The present is nice though. He spends a long time thinking about it, toying with the pin for a long time before he eventually and carefully sets it aside for later.]

[ua-monoma]

[A bloodcurdling scream rings through the alley, cut off by a choke-

“Kaitou, stop hiding...”

He immediately cowers back, dropping to his knees as his hands clap and claw over his ears-

He curls up-]

No nono...

[He curls up, whimpering, eyes unseeing as tears spring free once again and the bathroom starts to echo with his panicked sobs.]

[ua-monoma]

.03.04.

[After hours.

He’s the only one in the gym. The sound of panting and the smack of flesh is loud and harsh against his ears. His heart screams in his chest, beating faster and faster with every slam.

Another hard smack. The punching bag clangs loudly, shuddering on its chains like it wants to give way. Blood spatters over the blue rubber, pounded into place. His knuckles scream with his heart, raw from hours of work. He doesn’t stop. His body twists next into a fierce kick, sending the bag rocking wildly, screeching as it sways.

It sounds like screams. It sounds like the familiar sound of someone shrieking.

Don't you want to take out everything you've been feeling on them...

He twists, hair whipping to his face fast as he kicks again, disgust and rage and rage making every hit that much harder. His thoughts, his body, his everything, just - screams.]

[ua-monoma]

[falls asleep in class for the third time today]

[ua-monoma]

Monoma watches the boy sleeping peacefully besides him for just a moment. Shy and gentle and as carefully as he can manage, he toys with his hair, playing with the dark strands until he rouses slightly in his sleep.

He stops then, waiting until he settles again, then starts over, even more gently than before. 

Frowning to himself, he comes to an eventual stop, settling besides him with a sigh. He’s struggling, and the reasons why are hard to place, hard to grasp, hard to come to terms with.

Awase is...  ... so kind to him.

And he just can’t understand it.

A sea of gore roils quietly in the back of his skull, dripping down his spine until it oozes slow into his stomach. Monoma quietly wishes the boy was crueler. Less understanding. Less eager to help him. He wishes talking to him didn’t feel like getting flayed in reverse, his skin stinging and raw as it scars over with his perfectly timed words. He wishes he were someone who deserved to be in his presence.

Chewing on his lip, Monoma leans in to kiss his forehead quick before rolling out of the bed and grabbing his phone. As he quietly gets dressed, he stops to scrawl out a quick note, placing it besides Awase’s pillow.

Went for a walk.. Tonight was fun. Thanks. xx 

With that, he gives him one more little look before he slips out of the room.

@ua-awaseyosetsu 

[ua-monoma]

...

[The image worsens.]

[ua-monoma]

[It’s a nice distraction at least. Leaning against the toilet he’s just emptied his stomach into, he taps away at his phone, letting the small talk console him. His lips quirk with the occasional fond smile. He loves his friends...

Every few moments, though, he reminds himself. They’d hate him if they knew.

The image lingers.]

[ua-monoma]

[Monoma wakes up suddenly in a cold sweat. He blinks at the ceiling in a daze, stinging tears in his eyes, like they’d already been falling before he’d awoken. He doesn’t remember falling asleep.

There’s an image in his head, leftover from his dreams, a memory stuck behind his eyes as he blinks the blurriness away.

He feels sick.]

...

[ua-monoma]

Easy to forgive the victim of a tragedy, though, isn’t it.

[ua-monoma]

.09.10.

12:30 AM.

“... Monoma?”

A quick glimpse inside his room reveals that it’s been left empty.

The nurse frowns. Checks his chart. Visits to the bathroom were supervised, any meals were delivered to the room itself and supervised, there was no entering or leaving this room without approval beforehand. There was no way he could have just left.

And yet, the room is empty.

Monoma is gone.

The nurse takes a step back, struck with a careful, professional dread. The halls had to be checked. Every room in the ward had to be checked. A patient couldn’t just escape. Not like now, not like this. 

This...

...

[ua-monoma]

💓🌟

💓...

... Monoma doesn’t realize he’s awake at first to realize it. He’s just experimenting, playing around with his quirk as they lay around. Snowflakes dance on his palm, twisting themselves into a tiny icicle that curls and stretches as it grows. His control is sloppier than he wants it to be, a frown on his face as the icicle shakes its way towards the design he wants, only to suddenly jerk out of place, becoming something violent and ugly.

He pouts. The icicle shatters into an icy dust before floating into snowflakes again, and again into the little statue he’s trying to create. He does this for minutes, hours. Time escapes him.

His hand starts shaking and aching with the effort, though he hardly notices or cares. Frostbite is a weakness he doesn’t really care to pay attention to while he still has the time, and he wants to master this so he could show it off to Todoroki later, imagining his expression when he masters this little feat. Already smugly grinning, he continues on, working through another tiny shatter of snow before he starts to build it up again, vaguely wincing as frost starts to gather.

There’s a soft shift on the bed. A hand rests alongside his, radiating warmth and care. Monoma pouts as Todoroki sits up a little besides him, meeting his gaze quietly as the frost melts under his fingers. 

They stare at each other for a second. Todoroki opens his mouth to speak before Monoma simply leans in, capturing his lips before he can say a word.

@ua-todoroki

...

🌟...

... It’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. There’s a huge chandalier stretching all across the ceiling, golden and sparkling in all sorts of colors as the light catches its various gems and crystals. A few smaller ones are positoned besides it, beautiful and elegant as it orbits around what might as well has replaced the sun in his eyes. He can’t stop staring, pointing up at him with small, pudgy hands.

“Look!! Look!”

All around him, his family and their friends giggles and laughs in delight. Some reach out to ruffle his hair, others give his chubby cheeks a loving pinch. His grandfather scoops him right up into his arms, hoisting him into the air so he could get a better look at the dazzling thing above him.

“Yes, look!” he repeats after him with a hearty laugh, giving him a squeeze, their cheeks nuzzling together before he gestures for the rest of the gathering to come closer. “Look, look at what my grandson can do! I’m telling you, there isn’t a better quirk out there! It’s perfect! Neito, show them what you showed me--”

Little Neito, too small to really realize what this little performance is about, just nods with glee as he reaches his hands out greedily, grabbing for the closest quirk there was and grinning wide as he makes a sudden splash of colorful sparks rain up from his fingertips to the gasps and coos of everyone around. 

[ua-monoma]

Hideout’s quiet as ever as he goes inside.

[ua-monoma]

“You don’t have to protect him.”

Monoma’s eyes widen and snap upwards to face his new visitor. A detective looks down on him, hands in her pockets, eyes hard but smile sympathetic as she paces slowly in front of him. 

He bites his lip after a moment, fighting back his protests. He needs to keep the act up. 

Watching him, an eyebrow raises on her face as she studies his expression. “What, do you think he’ll hurt you here? What did he do to make you too scared to talk to the authorities? Or do you just not want to give him up?”

Paling slightly, Monoma’s eyes return to fix on the table.

She paces a little more, still staring. 

“Was that the first time you two have interacted?”

“...”

“Have you ever talked to him before that night?”

“...”

“You are aware of who he is, right? He’s with the League. Has he ever tried to coerce you into any sort of villainous activity, has he ever mentioned it? How close were you two?”

“...”

“Monoma.” She leans closer to him, her hands on the table, interrupting his gaze. “You need to start answering these questions. We’re trying to help you.”

Monoma bites his lip, staring hard as his eyes start to tear up. “I want to talk to Hawks.”

A flicker of recognition passes over her face, acknowledging his sudden break from silence. “He’s not here right now. How did you and Dabi meet?”

His vision blurs, burning as he starts to cry. “I want my parents.”

“They’re not here yet either. How did you and Dabi know each other?”

“...”

Her jaw clenches. “Where did the blood come from, Monoma?”

Monoma flinches.

She continues, uncaring. “You arrived here covered in it. We tested it, it’s yours, you were covered in your own blood and that’s the only thing keeping us from arresting you. You do realize that, yes? How bad this looks, based on this report?”

“...”

“Did he hurt you that night? Has he hurt you before? If you’re being abused, we can-”

“Oh my God...” Monoma covers his face with his hands. He starts sobbing. 

Looking stricken, the detective steps back. She waits for him to calm down, only to look guilty when his sobs start to get more out of control. “... Okay. We can stop for now. We can stop.”

“...”

“...” She grimaces before snatching her file up from the desk behind her. Hesitant, she eventually turns on her heel and leaves the room.

Monoma continues for a few more minutes before slowly tapering to a stop, eyes blank as he uncovers his face to check that she’s gone. He frowns to himself, processing her words quietly as he’s left alone again.

“...”