#much to think about (nothing to think about)
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teaboot · 3 days ago
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Do you know what this site thought of Elon Musk before he started supporting Trump and gave that Nazi Salute?
Going how far back? Ten years ago, we didn't talk about him and nobody cared. He was not in the wider public consciousness. Those who knew who he was mostly thought "oh yeah he's that rich guy who wants to look smart" and nothing much else was said. I think his first bump in popularity was when he married Grimes, and then he was just the weird rich dude Grimes married. I did not know who Grimes was and still kinda don't. She had a Tumblr blog and then made some music and had a baby with a weird name and then vanished kinda post-divorce afaik.
Then I think maybe five years ago ish he sort of started showing up more as a sort of weaboo man-baby deal? Pictures of him in Les Mis cosplay, dressed as a furby, and showing off empty Diet Coke cans and a fake replica gun on his nightstand circulated.
My impression was that he was just like. If that creepy awkward guy in class who unironically does the Naruto run and thinks katanas are magic was spawned out of the ether with infinite money.
And then I think maybe after that was how stupid he is? That became public knowledge shortly after-like how the safety vests in some of his factories are in washed-out neutral colours cause he doesn't like neons. Or like... how he seemed to be giving off the impression that he was a genius inventor, despite not actually making anything or having any kind of specialized area of education I can speak of? Not off the top of my head at least. Like I couldn’t even tell you if he has a degree in anything. All I know is like. He was an owner with PayPal and then bought Tesla?
And simultaneously if I remember correctly he was kind of always about "if we don't let the nazis talk on twitter then we're basically á dictatorship" or whatever, banging on the free speech drum and going on about how jokes used to be funny, then bluffed about buying twitter and somehow got legally shoehorned into ponying up and actually doing it for WAY more than it was worth, almost immediately making it worse and tanking its value.
Now it seems kind of like an Emporer's clothes situation where everyone knows the Emporer is naked, but instead of getting embarrassed and covering up, the emperor just keeps doubling down harder.
Meanwhile his whole entire ass is just. Out
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snail-day · 3 days ago
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Just thinking about how pissed off idol! Satoru gets when he's at the signing table with the rest of the group and you, an audacious little thing, skip over him. Like, most fans at least stop to say hi to everyone, maybe blush a little or even ask for a quick selfie. Basic fan etiquette, right? But you? No, you walk past him every single time, eyes locked on Suguru like Satoru isn’t even there. As if Satoru isn't the most popular member of the group.
At first, he laughed it off. Shrugged. Maybe you were nervous. Maybe you didn’t want to look desperate in front of your bias.
But then you did it again. And again. Every damn fan event, every meet and greet. Always with that sweet smile for Suguru, a polite nod for Nanami, even a little blush for Sukuna, of all people, but nothing for him. Not even eye contact. Simply acting like he doesn’t even exist.
And that? That pisses him off more than anything.
He tells himself it’s nothing. That you’re just another fan. But then he finds your Instagram.
You follow every member - except him. You've posted shots of your wall lined with photocards. Suguru’s limited-edition album cover, Nanami’s keychain, Sukuna’s photocard. No sight of him. Not even once. Not even daring to read your captions.
Again, it shouldn't matter. You're just some nobody that can't even reach his level. He’s got millions of followers. Fans who scream his name. People who cry when he so much as waves.
But somehow you've invaded his mind. You’ve become an itch he can’t scratch. A face he searches for during performances. He’s memorized your posts, studied the filters you use, stared at your tagged location until his manager started asking questions.
So this time, when you line up at the meet and greet again - when you try to glide right past him with that same practiced indifference - he acts before he thinks.
Leans over the table, fingers gently brushing your wrist as you try to hand your album to Suguru.
“Hey, princess,” he murmurs, eyes hidden by tinted lenses, smile just a bit too wide. “Thought we had a thing going. No kiss for me?”
The cameras go wild.
Flash after flash, fans gasping, security moving in. Your stunned expression immortalized in high definition. Satoru doesn’t care. He’s grinning like a man who just won.
And when the headlines drop the next morning - “Gojo Satoru Gets Flirty With Fan - Who's the Mystery Girl?” he's ignoring requests from his managers to speak about the situation. Ignoring that call from the head of his company.
Instead, he can't help but laugh when he sees that you finally followed him. How cute.
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starryjake · 3 days ago
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idea... reader being insecure about getting head but she has MUNCH HEE as a boyfriend and she ends up being addicted too
🫰🫰🫰🫰well yes.
“please, baby,” heeseung nearly begs.
his hands are rubbing your bare thighs, slowly making their way up and up and up.
he pushes the fabric of your skirt up as he goes, eager to get to what’s laying beneath it.
“i don’t know, hee,” you say.
you’re nervous, although you can’t deny how much just his hands rubbing your thighs are turning you on. you can feel yourself getting wet, an ache starting to from from the need to be touched.
“there’s nothing to be nervous about, i promise,” he tells you assertively. you look into his eyes and know that means it. “i just wanna make you feel good, sweetheart. that’s all i want.”
that was mostly all he wanted. of course he wanted to make you, his sweet girlfriend, feel good. but he also knew he would get a lot of pleasure out of himself.
since the day he started going out with you—hell, from the minute he met you, he wanted to taste you. he wanted to get his head between your legs and give you the head of a lifetime.
“but what if—”
heeseung cuts you off with a delicate kiss. he kisses you slowly, deeply, and it makes you realize even more so how bad you need him.
“you trust me, don’t you?” he whispers.
“yeah,” you answer, meaning it with all your heart.
“can i?” he asks, digging his finger into the waistband of your skirt.
“yes,” you finally tell him.
he practically rips your skirt and underwear off of you, beyond eager to finally get what he’s been dreaming of for months. you were worth it wait, he knew it before even getting a taste.
he lays down on his stomach, glancing up at you with his big doe eyes to ensure that you were okay. you still had that worried expression on your face, but heeseung was set on changing it to a pleasured one.
he kisses your thighs, his lips so soft and light that it tickles. you giggle a little, which in turn, makes him smile, relieved to know that you’re relaxing.
then finally, finally he leans in and licks a long, firm strip up from the bottom of your pussy to your clit. you gasp at the sensation, throwing your head back because suddenly it’s too heavy to hold up.
“oh my god,” you moan, thighs attempting to close around his head.
he pushes them back apart, tilting his head to lean on one as he focuses on eating your pussy. he licks up and down and circles your clit with the tip of his tongue, which has your legs twitching.
“heeseung,” you cry out, reaching down to entangle your fingers in his hair.
“mmm, yeah, baby,” he moans into your cunt. “you taste so good. you’re so wet for me, honey.”
“it feels…” you trail off as he wraps his lips around your clit and sucks for a moment, quite literally taking your words away.
“feels what?” he asks.
you couldn’t remember what you were going to say. you couldn’t even think. he was eating you out so good it was making you dumb.
he didn’t mind. he could feel himself going dumb too, lost in how good you taste and how smooth and warm and amazing you feel against his tongue.
“my perfect girl,” he praises, slightly squeezing your thighs. “god, it’s so fucking good.”
all you could do was moan, getting confident enough to spread your legs wider and hump your hips up into his face. somehow, you needed even more, and he would give it to you.
he shifted his hands from your thighs and used his fingers to spread your pussy, then stuffed his face right back into it. the tip of his nose rubbing against your clit while his tongue thrusted in and out of your hole was enough to send you over the edge.
“hee!” you nearly scream. “i’m cumming! fuck, i’m cumming. i’m cumming, i’m—”
again, you couldn’t speak anymore. you were cumming way too hard to do anything but let it wash over you in silence. heeseung kept his head buried between your legs while you did, nursing you through your orgasm.
you yelped when you finally came down, and heeseung regretfully pulled away from your pussy. his lips, chin, and nose were glistening with your cum.
“fuck,” he growled, crawling up the bed to kiss you hard on the lips. “you’re so fucking hot, baby. can’t believe i finally got a taste of you. i don’t think i’m gonna be able to go a day without it now.”
and you had no problem with that. who were you to complain about your boyfriend starting and ending every day with his face between your legs?
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inkskinned · 2 days ago
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i'm still trying to piece together the truth of it. when you left, you said: feel free to spin this narrative however you want. i have no idea if you were being cruel or if you just genuinely don't remember what you've done to me.
it's hard because i'd done so much of the work for you. i had seen the parts that flaked off, the rust underneath. i started separating you into two people - the one i loved, and the one who hurt me. i had this fantasy version of you - my partner - and then i had this stranger, a third person who would show up randomly to shatter me. i am deliriously glad i'm no longer with "the stranger". i miss the gentle (unreal?) "other" you terribly.
at first, i was so strict about my boundaries. i remember telling you to get the fuck out of my house if you were going to talk to me like that. by the end: i would justify your behavior for you, accepting even your mistreatment as "my fault" in the grand scheme. i look back on the person i was before you - smart, independent, confident - and i feel a strange sense of detachment. i don't even recognize me.
even in one of our last conversations, you said: if you want a partner that always talks warmly to you, find someone else. there was a time that a comment like that would have made me leave. and instead, somehow, i just placidly accepted that kind of thing. you were literally telling me that i wasn't allowed to have a reaction to your cruelty - and i just took it, because you'd so fully turned things around on me.
when people are faced with irrationality, a rational brain tries to make sense of it. this is the trap. they're lovely in the morning, gentle and blue-eyed and sweet. like nothing even happened, they breeze around the house and kiss you on the mouth. but at night; who is that? they snap almost randomly; flying into an impotent rage about just-about-anything. it just doesn't make sense. so the problem must be me, and my brain, and how i think.
the traumatized brain just wants peace. so maybe i'm misremembering. maybe you were just having a bad day. maybe it's actually me.
you eventually would fully turn on me and start implying that i am the bad actor in our relationship. that's what happens, right? that's literally in the playbook. you went to therapy for all of a month, told her a half-truth, co-opted therapyspeak. you figured out how to reframe your actions as "seeking peace." any time i stood my ground, i was "gaslighting." when i asked you to be more gentle, you said i was "tone policing." you said, randomly, i had emotionally manipulated you - i still have no idea what that's even specifically referring to. maybe my consistent requests for calmness and empathy?
and while i literally know better, and i'm sitting here, trained by you, thinking: wait, fuck. was i actually the person you made me out to be?
and the thing that scares me is that i literally do not know if you ever actually saw what you were doing to me. when you'd tell me how you remember arguments, you'd always summarize them in a way where you come off as gentle and easy: "i was trying to set an important boundary." what had actually happened was 15 minutes of you shouting at me i know you did something shady, just admit it already. eventually you'd say my reaction to your shouting (when i finally reacted, which usually happened around hour three) was inevitably "disappointing" and "another way i'm silencing your feelings."
how many times did i ask you - beg you - to just take accountability? looking back, i don't think i ever heard you say: you're right. the way i talked to you was wrong of me.
i am trying to tie together the two people into a full version of you in my head. yes, you made my coffee and made me laugh and spent hours on the phone with me. and yes - you would scream at me until i had to run away and hide behind something.
i wish i did have a narrative i could pull out and shape to my whim. i wish i did have some semblance of reality. instead i just stand here, strange and vibrating, wondering: what the fuck just happened?
#spilled ink#warm up#tbh more of a diary than a poem#i need to write this stuff down bc my ptsd likes to forget trauma pretty much WHILE it's happening#and any time i find myself making it ''my fault'' again i have to walk myself through the grounding steps#it's so hard to describe emotional abuse. bc it's so fucking easy to get sucked into#like. you're an empathetic person. so when ur partner comes to you after a nasty fight and is like#“i really was trying to get my feelings heard and you didn't hear me last night” you're like - okay you know what#i'll do the right thing. this is my fault. let me take accountability and try to empathize and talk things out.#with the assumption that later - it'll be ''your turn'' right. you'll be able to bring up the screaming and talk about how#you BOTH need to make a safe space for each other. that you can't listen if your partner is literally shouting at you.#since YOU reflect and grow and try to be a better partner. you assume SHE will be doing the same thing.#but it is never your turn. she will never bring up the screaming. you cannot tell if she LEGIT just doesn't feel culpable.#and when u bring it up. she says ''so i deserved you talking to me badly? <- this doesn't go well.#she says you're blaming her. she doesn't understand that arguments are ''two sides and the truth''. it's that 1 person is right and 1 isn't#so u try to talk it out. get both perspectives heard. but over time it just becomes easier to let her get her rant out and shut up about u#until one day you wake up and despite months of treating you terribly - and admitting it 3 weeks ago!!! - she's now saying...#you were always terrible . you were always the issue. she never got her feelings heard.#meanwhile you remember literally MONTHS of supporting her and listening to her and silencing yourself.#and bc she TRAINED you to accept fault ... you just say sorry. you feel insane. you feel incredibly unhinged.#meanwhile. i fully am the kind of person that will reflect. come back after a fight. apologize before you ask. say things like#“i see your side now and i was wrong about this/that/the other thing.” ...... this is EMOTIONAL MATURITY.#she literally started calling it ''mindgames'' and ''flip flopping." ........#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#<- girl who def was emotionally abused but also doesn't really understand that yet#anyway love u get OUT OF THERE IF YOU RELATE BYE!!!!
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ysaefinn · 3 days ago
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Knight!Suguru x bratty!royal!reader
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Okay then, I hear you loud and clear.
Sit with me and think of a royal reader that is the middle ground. Scheming but there's definitely a generous amount of attitude for spice. A brat.
But oh does it work wonders for you, most times. Leaning on a hip, arms crossed, eyebrow raised like whatever outrageous demands you've just made were your god given right, yours just as the crown. The harsh flashing light reflecting off your jewels works like a brain-melting hypnosis. "Yes, your highness!" "But of course, your highness!" "As you please your highness!" Ah- Music to your ears. The world at the palm of your hand.
Hmmm but only most times. Your knight seems to be immune to your spell.
Suguru has made it crystal clear the very first time you tried pulling one of your trusty reliable tricks.
Hands on your hips, rolling your eyes, and teasing him about being 'Oh so cruel' and 'not knowing how to have fun' when he stood between you and the kitchen window you tried sneaking out of in the middle of the night. Unmoving like a brick wall with a polite little smile that could melt gold on his undeniably handsome features– one you wouldn't say you could confidently read. The moonlight contouring his beastly build.
He looks like a big bad hound watching over the gates, his no was as polite as can be, but it was absolute. –Alright then change of strategy–
Batting your eyelashes. One delicate finger slowly creeps up his chest. His breath visibly hitches and he looks almost enamored, clearly lost in the attention. Great! Time to go for the kill! You get on your tippy toes, faces mere inches away from each other. And with the sweetest tone you could muster, you begin "Won't you let me get my way just this once?" A second, another, Suguru is heavily breathing then he... smiles-! Wider than he usually would before placing a big arm over the small of your back. Perfect! He's definitely in your pocket no–OhHuh?! With a swift move, he throws you over his shoulder and starts making his way to your sleeping chambers. "Nice try, but I'm afraid I can't overlook this in particular. Their majesties' orders, I'm very sorry Your Highness. It's quite late after all, we wouldn't want you to miss out on any sleep, now would we?"
Un-be-lievable. Absolutely outrageous. But you swear the heat and redness of your face were results of being caught off guard, nothing much!
It's quite frustrating really. Seems you've met your match. But if anything, it just clears your doubts. From the moment you shook hands with your newly appointed guard do– body guard –ever so thoughtfully appointed by the Monarch–You figured that he won't be so willing to join your endless collection of marionettes. It makes your eye twitch really. You've always been the child who threw tantrums when your noble playmates wouldn't hand over their toys despite having mountains of trinkets already. He is an exception, the enemy of absolute control. A threat, but one that you can't deny is very very enticing.
He wouldn't flat out tell you to act right of course! Perish the thought, he was but a servant! You hold the cards! You are the hand that swings the sword! But he'll find ways. He's very indulging and sweet –it honestly feels sincere– but his messages are received nonetheless.
A sweet gentle smile always present as he tuts and politely reminds you to cut your lady in waiting some slack. To go easy on your maids for misplacing one of your countless rings. To turn a blind eye on the very miniscule alteration made to your breakfast. Maybe he oversteps every now and then. A weird look; a raised eyebrow; a little snicker. The most he has ever gone was playfully threatening to 'tell your father how bad you were being if you kept acting up' not like the king isn't at the palm of your hand as well. But still.
Audacious.
It's like his heart is armored as well!! Why doesn't he listen? Why doesn't anything work? Everyone else is mindlessly dancing to your tune so you know for a fact you haven't lost your magic just yet. What's so different about this man? How does he not only manage to stay untouched but also leave a clear mark on you back?
You almost want to obey, to be good, maybe you'll even get a reward if you let yourself fall into his arms. What if he lets you run your hands over his strong arms and feel up his firm body you've always been so curious about? What if you get the chance to touch his long gorgeous inky hair? What if he lets you doze off on his soft ches-
...
This cannot be happening.
Seems it can though. It didn't take you too long to recognize the longing look in his eyes, clear boundaries were never set, blurred lines were his gateway, and you knew love when you saw it. Before you know it you were inviting him to spend the night with you almost on the daily, kissing him on empty halls, pressing your entire body against him while holding his bicepts during your walks in the garden, he'd hold you in his lap under the shade of tree deep in the woods away from prying eyes, pluck fresh fruit off the trees and hand freed them to you slice by dutiful slice, he replaces your heavy crowns with lighter softer alternatives made with flowers.
He even promised to marry you.
Lovers or not, he will always be your knight. And you were his to serve, his to protect.
And his to correct, on occasion.
It was his fault really. This was bound to happen eventually. Nothing is set in stone and the crown heir must prove themselves worthy –Something you excelled at. It was something he admired you for, truly! You're clever, very aware of your strengths and use them to your advantage, the perfect leader, he loved you for it...just not now.
A shiny carriage from the west arrives early in the morning. Out emerges a new shiny toy, a prince gift wrapped in silks and gold –you always loved shiny. The royal foreigner makes his way not to your father, not your mother, but directly to you. And Suguru might be a brute good-for-nothing soldier, but it doesn't take a genius to put the pieces together, this is the suitor your parents have chosen for you. The firstborn prince of esteemed royal birth, from a country that is nothing to scoff at, of course, this is happening. A marriage of convenience to strengthen the bonds between the nations someting something the fishing industry isn't what it used to–Oh piss off.
Suguru is right at your side when the obnoxiously sparkling man finally comes to a stop before you, he is right there beside you when he holds your gloved hand and places a kiss at your knuckles, and he is right there when you –without missing a beat– giggle at the gesture and bat your lashes right back at him.
Suguru's body freezes, then his jaw clenches and snaps back to place and he can't help but snarl.
Guard dog. One in dire need of a leash.
He knows you have no choice but to play along, he knows that you marrying another man is the most likely outcome. But he is selfish enough not to care, he wants to pull you close by the waist, tuck you underneath his chin and send the envoy back to wherever he came from. He is your knight, and you are just as much his. It wouldn't have been a problem if this were only one of your many masterful performances, he wouldn't have minded much. What you have with Suguru was real, not a business move, not a transaction.
But it still itches at his core.
No matter how many times you reassure him that it was all fake, no matter how many times he pins you the walls of your room and makes you repeat declarations of love, no matter how much you promise that you'll get rid of the foreign prince, that you'll get in your father's head, that you'll do something, anything. Suguru is still very much bothered.
It's never enough, nothing puts him at ease. Every time you finish a conversation with a kiss to his forehead and walk away to be with that other man, it feels as if Suguru's wounds were stitched without taking away all of the cancer. It never mattered whether it was real or not. Suguru is a selfish man, and a greedier lover.
And you came to find this out after an incredibly inappropriate night of wine and poetry with your supposed future husband.
Come on. You were pushing it at this point. How could you think he wouldn't be feining to claw into your newest toy by now?
But poor you. Couldn't have been caught at a worse time. Frustrated from having to shush an aggressive snarling attack dog on an almost daily basis and being a little tipsy from the alcohol, clearly having forgotten your manners near the empty bottles of wine before coming back to your real man, you waste no time tearing into him about how whiny and needy he has been, how he has no basis to any of these accusations he's throwing around so carelessly, how it shouldn't even bother him this much anyway as he is nothing but a servant to you, and that he should to act like one.
His to protect. His to serve. His to correct.
So...act like a servant? Your word is law, Your Highness!
You don't know how or when exactly you found yourself pinned to the wall with your wrists tightly held together and dwarfed by one big hand, while the other tightly grips your tummy keeping you frozen in place.
"W-what do you think you're doing-?!" "Act like one, huh?" He moves to kiss you all messy and rough, for the first time in weeks, undoing all the progress that pest may think he had made.
He pulls away leaving you warm and needy.
"S-Suguru I'm–"
"Be quiet" he snaps, yet he doesn't raise his voice, he sounds calm and controlled, but Oh so betrayed. You've possibly done irreversible damage to the man who adores you most."You've said enough, listen to me very closely" his glaring hurts so good this is a new side of him you aren't too guilty you lured out of the shadows. "Whether or not you'd like to admit it. I am your man." It sounds more like a judge's verdict than a knight's oath.
"I'm not one of your little toys. I'm your husband" and it sounds so right, you didn't know how much you needed to hear it.
"But sure. I'll indulge you, Your Highness." but this felt like a slap to the face in all honesty, you worked really hard to get him to use your name, the title was only a little bit between the two of you at this point, but he has never said it with more venom than now.
"I'll act like your knight once more, and teach you some manners."
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ln4z · 2 days ago
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a little bit scandalous — ln4z thoughts [ 18+ ]
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smut (obvi), praise kink, first time tgt, 6 year age gap but the reader is almost 20, reader is a mercedes driver, older bf!ln4
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thinking about how older bf!lando norris was never the type to go for someone ridiculously younger—atleast not someone as young as you. he first saw you in the Mercedes garage watching the race alongside kimi and toto. the formula two world championship leader. displaying a dominance no one had seen before. every race—including sprint and feature–won from pole, fastest laps set so easily as if it was nothing.
safe to say everyone heard of you. including him. and he didn't think much of it because you were so young—19, basically a child. still a teenager.
it wasn’t until the pre-season testings in bahrain he really looked at you. so timid, reserved. always sticking to your teammate, kimi or people you were already familiar with. what really intrigued him was your coy behavior. the way it was so easy to fluster you. the lovely shade of pink you would turn everytime he complimented you.
eyes immediately casted down wards, heat rushing to your cheeks as you let out a nervous and coy giggle before continuing the conversation. and lando thought it was the most adorable thing ever. but oh how sad this wasn't something reserved for him specially. that's just how you were. even when max complimented you, or so did charles. infact even when any skysports employee praised you!
he wanted to all of it for himself. he wanted the red on your cheeks only because of him. he wanted you to stutter only because of him. he wanted your shy giggles only because of him. he wanted the way you downcast your eyes only because of him.
he wanted all of your timind, coy, and young self all only for him.
"you're such a lovely darling aren't you?" he said as he brushed the hairs out of your face. his fingers pumping in and out of your cunt. your first podium, his monaco win—somehow you both ended up in his bedroom, drunk—enough for you to consent properly. clothes thrown on the floor haphazardly.
"lando." you whined as you felt the knot forming—legs shaking as his calloused fingers pinched your clit. "let go for me doll, let it all go." he leaned down to press a reassuring kiss on your temple. with a final thrust his fingers were coated with your insides and slick. he bought his fingers to his lips, tasting you. "so pretty, and taste so sweet. just like your behavior doll."
and there was it, the way you avoided his eyes, face all flushed from the fingering and his compliment as your lips stretched into a coy smile. "you still with me baby?" you nodded at his word.
you moaned as he pushed his cock inside you. before you could utter about him being too big—making you feel so full—he said, "you're taking it so well, sweetheart. i don’t think you even know how good you are for me." and you shut up—egar to please him, egar to earn his praise. now that he was hovering over you, his face was so close you could see the marks your lipstick left on his jaw.
lando smirked at the lewd noises that left your mouth as he slowly thrusted in and out of you. "my doll, my perfect little thing." he mumbled against your neck. your wet cunt felt blissful against his errotic cock. "every single sound you make is perfect. ever. single. one." he says before bitting your neck. mouth littering your neck with purple bruises.
lando knew this was higly unprofessional. he wasn't supposed to be tangled up with you—atleast not like this. he wasn't supposed to be tangled up with the second youngest rookie on the grid. with the rookie who took his bestfriend's seat. with the only female driver on the grid. it would be higly scandalous but god if they knew the way you sounded—not that they would, not that he would let them. he wouldn't allow anyone to hear the noises you make under him, ever.
"god, you're too young to be this addictive." lando kissed the shell of you ear.
"ahh—ah lando." your hips bucked up when he increased his pace. he put one hand on your throat—not even applying pressure. scared that he might break you so it just stayed there. lando groaned when he felt you clenching around him. "ahh–i'm gonna cum." you panted as you felt the knot getting tighter. lando hissed as your nails dragging down his back.
he leanded down, placing butterfly kisses all over your face murmuring, "this is mine," as he kissed your cheek. "this too." while kissing your forehead. "all you—all mine, you hear that?" if his words didn't prove it then his tone did—so assertive and dominating, so possessive. making his message all but clear. he removed his hand from your throat. slipping it in yours—intertwining your fingers together as he felt you near your climax. his other hand slipped under you, playing with your clit.
you squeezed his hand when you came all over his cock—back archin' off the bed. "just a lil more baby." he muttered against your lips as his pace became brutal. chasing his own high—yet still playing with your clit. you whined his name as all the sensations became too much for your already drunken and orgasm blissed sense. "shh i know baby, i know." he kissed your pout. purposely pounding a little hard, making you moan a little too loudly against his mouth. lando slipped his tongue inside your mouth. making sure all of you was pleasured.
and with the final thrust he came in the condom—ofcourse you have to use protection when sleeping with someone so much younger. he slowly pulled out his now softened dick. replacing it with his fingers. "uh uh keep your legs open f'me doll." he kissed your cheek. "you don't have to think sweetheart, just let me take care you." his forehead rested against yours. "it's too much lan." you cried—barely aware of the tears forming in your eyes.
"i know, i know, but you trust me don't you?" he asked kissing away the tears that feel. you nodded—but ofcourse that wasn't enough. "words darling." he commanded. "i–ah–i do trust you." you managed choke out, slowly opening your legs more. "that's it—there you go, always so so pliant. my sweet girl, my good girl." the praise, the overstimulation, the alcohol in your system—it was all too much. your thighs trembled as you came all over his fingers once again. lando hummed as he tasted you—his new favorite flavour—once again.
he fell next to you, pulling you in his arms. big hands wiping away the dried tears. and that's when something snapped in him–perhaps the reality of the situation. "hey—hey baby, look at me are you okay? did i push you too far? did i hurt you?" he asked, voice laced with worry and anxiety. "no no you were good." you muttered—tired body instinctively curling towards his warmth. "you're not sleeping are you? i need to clean us up." lando looked down at you. carefully tucked into his side already pouting about five more minutes.
god, he was so so so gone. he held you—just five more minutes—with your head tucked under his chin. thinking about he'll never touch another girl ever again. not after you.
635 notes · View notes
lily-bisque · 3 days ago
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WAY OUT THERE 𖠰 ⋆☾𓃦☽⋆⁺₊✧🪵𓇢𓆸
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volume five — todo a su tiempo
✦ ── pairing: lumberjack!sukuna x citygirl!reader
✦ ── synopsis: taking a hike, alone, in a massive forest to escape your mundane life may not have been the greatest idea you'd conjured up—a realization you'd come to soon after you managed to lose your map miles inland. but when a lumberjack who knows the land like the back of his hand offers you a place to stay, you think maybe your life isn't so tragic after all. besides, for the sake of your safety, who knows what lingers in the shadows after nightfall?
✦ ── contents: lost in the forest au, forced proximity, bantering, angst, trauma/torture aspects, minor injuries, eventual romance, eventual smut, no use of y/n, more tags to be added.
✦ ── a/n: all of the comments and feedback i've received so far has been absolutely amazing, it always encourages me to plow through volumes! i appreciate and love all of you <3
✦ ── word count: 4.9k
archive ─ playlist
series masterlist - previous volume - volume six
art by outdmilk on twt
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The following days you could only describe were bliss.
Sukuna and you had established a set—yet, unspoken—routine. You’d wake up, hop to the kitchen, and get breakfast started. 
He’d disappear into the bathroom, hacking up a storm with his toothbrush and shuffle into work clothes.
You’d learned how he’d dress his eggs, that he only drank his coffee black which you scowled at upon discovery, and which mug he liked to sip from.
You even started packing him a lunch—which he called unnecessary every single time despite never turning it down.
You got comfortable in the clothing he’d bought you, despite having no sensitivity for fashion outside of red flannels and blue jeans.
If he wasn’t going to accept payment in the form of a wire transfer, you were going to ensure that you were going to pay him back through duties despite still being incredibly indebted to him.
He was a jerk, but a jerk who saved your life.
You dusted off his entire CD collection, reorganized his dining sets after polishing them, and scrubbed his tiles until they shined.
Twice.
From what you could puzzle together, it seemed that he worked down at a sawmill and treaded down the hill to reach his pick-up before heading into work. The extra lumber he’d chop on occasion, he’d leave in a lump come winter time when it’d be too cold to stand outside for long periods of time.
You’d bothered him quite a bit the next day about putting up a clothesline out back, which he found irksome but completed nonetheless that evening, along with fixing the dryer. 
You thus called the clothesline useless if he was just going to fix the dryer and he flicked your forehead.
He’d hammer you about checking your bandages and curse you out when you’d forget, and you’d raid his book collection and sit beneath a tree to pass time.
Uraume was quite the companion—plopping on you to rub their mud-covered mane to which you’d giggle at. 
You’d both fall asleep beneath the haze of the afternoon heat that hung sweetly in the air. Days were old, nights were young. You’d tan your shoulders, haunted by the melancholy of youth. The sky felt bigger than everything.
You’d scoop yourself three helpings of ice cream that’d dribble down your hand, Uraume lapping it up when it’d muddled around your palm.
The rusted windchimes on the patio became your favorite noise.
Nothing made sense except your virtue for stillness. You knew nothing was okay, but it felt otherwise.
You occasionally found yourself lurking near the shed, toying with the lock and peering between the slivers of cracked wood, but it was completely black inside—further frustrating your curiosity.
You’d argue with Sukuna every here and then—bickering about who’d tracked dirt in, when you’d use all the hot water before he had the chance to shower, or Sukuna telling you that you’d talked too much when you’d feel restless after being cooped up all day, your only friend Uraume who wasn’t of much help since they couldn’t actually speak back to you.
Sukuna was mean but he was sufferable.
“You ever try a root beer float?”
You had your hand resting on the side of his TV, giving it a couple of smacks to get rid of the static. Thankfully he had cable but you could tell he rarely used the old box. “Who hasn’t?”
He grunted at your bluntness, pulling a beer can from the fridge along with a pint of vanilla ice cream. “How about a root beer float with beer?”
You turned to frown at him, obviously not excited at the mixture of ale and milk. “That sounds disgusting.”
“Don’t knock it ‘till you try it, city girl.”
𖠰 ⋆☾𓃦☽⋆⁺₊✧🪵𓇢𓆸
“Where on Earth did you learn this?”
You shoved an orange plastic straw into your mason jar that was both foamy from the sprite and beer can you’d dumped in along with a hefty scoop of ice cream. 
You were yet to be sick of ice cream.
You swirled your straw, eyeing it suspiciously as Sukuna had already spooned half of it down.
“Lots of free time,” he smirked, a line of frothy ice cream above his upper lip.
You grimaced, tossing a napkin at him and taking a sip.
You were a little pissed off that you liked it.
“Aren’t these called dirty root beer floats?” You quirked with an emphasis, metal spoon churning the thick cream. You pulled your knee up to your chest, resting your chin against the cap.
He shrugged, adjusting in his seat and reaching a long armover to the fridge. He propped it open, grabbing himself yet another can of beer to guzzle down.
You could only watch in awe at his bottomless pit of a stomach.
Pushing away your glass, you folded your arms over your knee and leaned forward. “Are you an orphan?”
He side-eyed you mid-sip, surprised at your sudden and blunt inquiry, bringing the can down just to crush it with his hand. “What’s it to you?”
You tilted your head, before retreating. “Nothing. Just curious.”
“Stop poking your nose where it ain’t belong,” he scoffed, pushing up from his seat and tossing the mutilated can into the sink.
Your nose scrunched, knowing you’d yet again managed to cross unmarked territory. Your time here was short, and though Sukuna simply seemed to be a hostile and reticent guy, you felt like there was more to him somehow. It was naive to think he’d care to express it, though. You don’t think you’ve ever met anyone more closed off than him.
There was something stewing beneath the surface of his hardened demeanor you couldn’t place.
But that was coming from a woman with forever bubbling emotions that seemed to simmer indefinitely.
You hated small talk—you’d never been able to stomach it. The feigned smiles and comments about weather or formal confabulation. You’d sworn against it after your divorce, severing most ties with a family that indulged in table talk and pleasantries.
His footfalls disappeared into his room and you huffed, peering out the window and feeling a sense of frustration, a moon-struck madness cast upon you.
Until he returned to the kitchen just moments later, a box in his hand that you’d become quite familiar with.
He got to one knee before you, resting your foot atop his muscled thigh as he undressed your ankle.
You pretended not to twitch when his calloused fingers grazed your bare skin, his touch sending shivers down your spine. You didn’t know an ankle could be so ticklish.
“My parents,” he started, nearly mumbling under his breath. “Killed a real long time ago.”
You quirked a brow, something you couldn’t decipher lurching in your chest as you shuffled in your seat.
“Joined the army with my brother. Half-brother. We got into some argument, way back, n’ I haven’t seen him since. Just left him on some mission and never turned back.”
You stayed quiet for a moment, watching Sukuna’s hands still near your ankle as those tightly etched lines on his face only dug deeper, as if the only expression he could reserve was a scowl.
You inhaled sharply, worried that you were treading on thin ice already. “What’s he like? Your brother.”
Sukuna scoffed. “My brother? Real arrogant bastard.” He placed an antiseptic wipe into his mouth just to tear it open with his canines. “Aggressive, unhinged.”
“Like you,” you quickly added with a tug of your lip.
Sukuna glanced up, a sarcastic grin coloring him before he leaned forward to flick your forehead, a gesture he’d gotten incredibly comfortable with executing.
“Ouch!” You yelped, hands flying to shield your forehead as Sukuna snickered under his breath. “The hell was that for?”
“For being a lil brat,” he jeered back, finishing up the dressing.
You slowly lowered your hands, resting them on your thighs and frowning.
“Been quite a few days now,” he started, effectively changing the subject, lowering your leg and peering up at you. “I’ll walk you down the main trail first thing. Had someone pick up my shift.”
You could feel your heart skip a beat, shuffling in your seat as you averted eye contact. “Well, I’m not sure if I’m totally healed and—.”
“If you complain too much, I'll just drag you by the ankle.”
Or in normal, non-Sukuna terms, he’ll carry you on his back like he did up the hill.
“But I-I,” you began to fumble over your words, perturbation spiking. “I haven’t completed my fill yet and cleaned enough—.”
He spoke your name curtly, a volume slightly raised above your own that it had you come to a halt in your rambles, heat warming your cheeks discomfitingly. “Tomorrow morning. Won’t say it again.”
A rock of desperation sat thick in your throat, feeling yourself develop a case of cottonmouth in real time as Sukuna retreated to his room for the evening. You fidgeted with the hem of your shirt, biting the inside of your cheek.
To put it plainly—you didn’t want to leave.
You liked it here compared to your real life in the city. It was stupid to think that you could continue to mooch off of Sukuna by sleeping on his wearing and scruffy couch and cook him two meals and think he’d allowed you to stay.
But he’d done far more than enough. Opened his home to you and fed you and allowed you autonomy with nothing in return. 
You didn’t like being indebted, but you did like Sukuna’s shabby little nook in the forest.
Lamentably, your little vacation and respite had come to an end.
In all honesty, you probably could’ve walked down by day three. But you ignored your near-healed injury and deluded yourself into thinking this newfound peace was something you could continue to indulge in.
You plopped down on the couch, crossing your arms over your chest, eyes dialed in on his popcorn ceiling marked with water stains and dust.
It’d only been a few days, and though you hated how abrasive and standoffish Sukuna was, he was possibly the first person to really notice you.
His eyes didn’t rake over you and allow you to blend into the crowd. He treated you like a nuisance at times and your banter was practically never-ending, but you’d oddly found a sense of mutual understanding between each other.
Two people who felt abandoned by the real world.
You shut your eyes, dragging your hands over your face as you pulled the thin sheet over your head, attempting to shake off your plethora of emotions you didn’t have the energy to sort out.
𖠰 ⋆☾𓃦☽⋆⁺₊✧🪵𓇢𓆸
“Don’t even think about forgettin’ nothin’. I’m not coming all the way back up.”
You rolled your eyes, adjusting the rucksack on your back as you shuffled down the wooden steps. “I won’t. You got a switchblade I can borrow?”
Sukuna eyed you as you leaned over to tie your boots, your face shielded from him as your unnecessarily wide-brimmed hat flopped in the early morning haze. “Uh. No. You’re outta luck,” he murmured, shoving a hand into his jean pockets and glancing down the hill.
You looked up at him from the ground, unable to hide your blatant surprise. “You’re kidding. A lumberjack doesn’t own a blade?”
He just shrugged, averting his gaze and narrowing his eyes. “We gonna get goin’ or what?”
You scowled, hopping to your feet and dusting your knees off. “Wow. You really have mastered the art of deflection,” you taunted, walking past him just to nudge his arm.
He flinched at the contact, watching you pad down the trail with a permanent scowl, the ink on his face contorting with each antagonized expression.
“So,” you called out minutes later, only a few feet behind him as he’d overtaken your slow pace easily. You didn’t even try to keep up with his long strides, as if he couldn’t get rid of you any quicker. “What’s the plan if we’re cornered by a pack of mutts again?”
Sukuna only ignored you, but you could see his irritation light up in the way his fingers flexed at his sides.
Just the sound of your voice seemed to infuriate him sometimes.
You jogged up towards him, craning your head up and squinting against the harsh rays of the sun tethered high in the sky, her light filtered through flitting leaves. “No plan? Because a switch blade would be of some real relief—“
“Do you ever stop talking?”
You shrugged, undeterred. “You’ve asked me that before. You should know the answer.”
𖠰 ⋆☾𓃦☽⋆⁺₊✧🪵𓇢𓆸
“Are we almost thereeeee,” you whined out, hands hanging limp at your sides as you dragged your feet.
It felt like your muscles were on fire, tensing with each movement and flaring as your exhaustion only roared on.
“Nope.” 
Sukuna was at your side now, irritated that you kept falling too far behind and resigning to your slow tempo. 
You continued to huff and puff and bitch and moan, but as much as Sukuna hated to hear your grievances, he also enjoyed seeing you suffer in the afternoon heat.
Sweat beaded across your browline and down your spine, your top clinging to the perspiration. Your eyes hung low, as if you could pass out any moment from heat stroke and your throat had gone dry after chugging all of your water.
Sukuna on the other hand? The guy was in tip-top shape. And it drove you mad. His stamina was one to rival a wolf with.
“C-can’t we take a break?” You groaned out of breath.
Sukuna let out consecutive tsks, watching as your rucksack made you hunch over like you were about to topple a stack of dominoes. “Now how could we when we’re so close.”
You shot him a glare. “You literally just said we weren’t close.”
“Heats’ got me hallucinating,” he sarcastically defended, arching a brow at you with a sharp grin.
You opened your mouth to call him a slew of curses that equated him as crass and crazy, when your foot stalled.
You gasped, effectively tripping over your own foot as you stepped on your undrawn shoe lace, arms flying forward.
Sukuna’s eyes bulged, arms instinctively reaching forward and stepping in front of you.
And as clumsy as you were, your foot caught the back of his, pushing him backwards, your hands smacking against his chest.
You both fell with a timber-like thud, crashing into a pile of brush. You could hear Sukuna wince and grunt as he broke your fall. 
His massive hands were around your waist, your face stuffed into the crook of his neck and accidentally taking in his scent—cigarettes and a woody musk so undeniably him.
The two of you were still for a moment—could’ve been mere seconds, could’ve been minutes—until you inhaled sharply and pushed off of him, falling to the side with an unceremonious thunk!
Sukuna stared at the sky, arms flopped to his sides lazily as you scrambled over words, heat rising from your nape all the way to the crown of your ears. “I- Sorry I didn’t mean to—,” you stopped yourself, eyes fixing on his palm.
He seemed to have sliced it open against brush, a bleeding wound the size of your pinky across the front of his hand.
“Oh my god, your hand,” you gasped, fingers reaching out to smooth a finger near the broken skin, but Sukuna seemed to beat you to the punch.
He sat up quickly, tugging his hand away from you like you’d burn him if you came into contact and getting to his feet. “Christ, woman. I’m fine.”
You furrowed your brows, swallowing a thick lump of contrite lodged in your throat. “Are you sure? Your hand looked—.”
“We going or what?” He interrupted, a deep contempt and frustration brewing on his face, like he’d tasted coffee somehow even more bitter than his regular order.
He scoffed at your momentary silence and picked up his pace down the path, fingers flexing at his side again.
You bit your lip, scrambling to your feet and hurrying after him.
Though, you made sure to never fall too far behind this time, just a few paces behind him.
𖠰 ⋆☾𓃦☽⋆⁺₊✧🪵𓇢𓆸
For the duration of what was left, you kept your gaze lowered on the floor before you, occasionally kicking a pebble and watching it scurry away.
Sukuna kept his pace manageable. But he didn’t utter a word to you.
The tension was more than palpable—like a thick, tempestuous cloud hanging over the both of you that neither of you dared to acknowledge.
Your heart never really slowed to a resting pace—whether that be from another unbridled argument with Sukuna or the exertion of the walk. You didn’t dare attempt to decipher which possibility it may be.
You picked at the skin around your nails, feeling like a little kid who’d gotten in trouble and blindly followed their parents around.
Thankfully, this was the last you’d be seeing of him. No more stifling arguments that left your skin flaring.
“My truck is just down the road.” Sukuna suddenly broke the silence, his pace coming to a stop.
“What?” You squeaked out immediately, peering up at him from the rim of your hat.
He gave you a strange look, cocking his head to the side reluctantly. “Uh, we’re here. I wouldn’t mind giving you a lift back to—.”
“No!” You interrupted, shaking your hands in front of you. You hadn’t even noticed how long the two of you had been walking, the rushing sound of cars from a nearby freeway augmenting your senses.
Sukuna narrowed his eyes, gaze dancing across you. If you were any less lucid, you could’ve sworn you’d seen remorse coloring him.
“I’ve got it figured out from here. Thanks, Sukuna,” you breathed out slowly, a wide smile across your cheeks that pinched the skin uncomfortably.
He couldn’t shake off the odd feeling churning in his chest, coughing it away and averting his gaze with his hands planted on his hips. “Suit yourself.”
You glanced at the open road, just past it was a gas station where you’d be able to rest before calling for a ride.
“I’d say see you around but we both know how unlikely that is,” you admitted with a dry laugh, goosebumps littering your body in a cold sweat.
He side-eyed you, jaw clenched as he mulled over something in silence.
But you could barely take it anymore.
“Goodbye, Sukuna,” you whispered, any louder and it wouldn’t be a promise.
He brought a hand over his hat, before bowing his head, real lumberjack-like.
“Bye, city girl.”
𖠰 ⋆☾𓃦☽⋆⁺₊✧🪵𓇢𓆸
You nearly passed out at the rest stop, chugging three bottles of water and splashing your face in the restroom before plopping on one of those window seats.
The cup of ramen you downed had your head lolling, belly satiated and brain fuzzy as you waited for your phone to charge up.
Halfway through day three with Sukuna, your phone had died and you didn’t care to charge it.
Not like you could anyway. You didn’t bring a charger and Sukuna had a phone at least several generations behind with a cracked screen. You wondered if he even cared to use it.
Your phone buzzed on and, lo and behold, fifteen missed calls and twenty texts ranging from your boss to your colleagues.
And one missed call from your mother.
Great.
You skimmed your fingers through your hair, ordering an uber. Truthfully, you didn’t want to deal with any of this until you slept for ten hours minimum but you didn’t have the luxury to ignore all of your issues as much as you’d like to.
So you hopped from your seat and rolled your shoulder, dragging your feet to your rideshare.
𖠰 ⋆☾𓃦☽⋆⁺₊✧🪵𓇢𓆸
“Look who decided to show up.”
You rolled your eyes at your peach-skinned boss, stepping into the shabby building with flickering neon logo lights nestled between a 24-hour convenience shop and a hole-in-the-wall bar and karaoke.
“I already texted you and called to apologize. Please don’t make my migraine worse,” you shot back, rolling your neck as exhaustion still seemed to plague you. You plopped down on the weathered couch, the familiar sinking feeling having you toss your head back and groan. “Is Shoko out on a run?”
She padded over to you, half of her face shielded from the milky braid she was so adamant on wearing all of the time. To be quite frank, you didn’t know what the other side of her face even looked like. Which was odd for the duration you’d worked under her. “She’ll be back in a few. You do understand these are grounds to fire you, yes?”
“My god, Mei Mei. We both know you’re not going to do that,” you sighed, feeling like there were bare canines skimming over your nape, any harder and they make break your irritated skin. “Take three days out of my pay. Happy?”
She bristled, turning on her heel and leaning against her desk. “She was worried sick,” she started, tone flat and monotonous. “Filed a missing persons report and everything.”
You bit your lip, eyes dialed in on the chipped rim across the room beside the grey and lifeless metal lockers. “You sure you weren’t worried sick?” You attempted to break the tension, though you knew the answer.
She scoffed incredulously. “I was. Worried that I’d somehow have to find someone as competent as you looking to be a modern day scullery maid,” she sighed out, peeling documents from her desk to skim over.
You huffed, grabbing your bag and shoving up from your seat to rake through your locker. “When’s the next service?”
“45 minutes from now. Rest up, it’ll be some back breaking work.”
𖠰 ⋆☾𓃦☽⋆⁺₊✧🪵𓇢𓆸
She wasn’t kidding.
Your first day back on the job after your accidental get-away was to some dilapidated house on the edge of town. Some affluent couple with too much free time decided to delve into flipping-culture, enter your cleaning company to fix up the place before they got to work on the infrastructure and furnishing.
For the following five hours, you scrubbed, brushed, mopped, sponged, wiped, squeegeed, buffed, shined, and polished the place until every limb of yours nearly gave out.
Shoko didn’t mind keeping close company the entire time, scolding your ear off and pinching you.
“Do you know how awkward it was to call your mother? Do you?” She huffed between scrapes of the bathroom tub, removing the age old grime. “She said you’d probably gone on some bender after—.” She halted herself mid-conversation, worrying her lip between her teeth.
You glanced over your shoulder with knitted brows, hand stilling against the mirror. “After what?”
Shoko bit the inside of her cheek, slowly continuing her movements like she was inconspicuous, regretting ever uttering a word.
“Sho. What are you talking about?”
She slowly turned to meet your gaze, a sheepish smile on her lips. “Naoya sent her an invitation, too.”
Your mouth hung open, the rag in your hand effectively falling into the sink. “Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck,” you cursed under your breath, snapping your gloves off. “Of course he fucking did.”
You pulled your phone from your pocket and hurried out of the bathroom, striding into some empty bedroom littered with old couches draped in plastic, heavy drapes shielding any source of light.
The only illumination in the room was your phone, lighting up your face as you frantically searched for her extremely buried contact and hit the call button.
You folded your arms, leg bouncing as you heard the line buzz, before it clicked on.
“Mom! Hi, I just saw your message—.”
“Where on Earth have you been?”
You froze, nails digging into your biceps. “Let me explain, o-over dinner. Tonight?”
You could hear her sigh on the other side, voice nothing but crestfallen. You could imagine her lounging in the living room, legs folded while she perused whatever tabloid she could find around the house resting in her lap, phone pressed to her ear. 
All while wondering what she’d done to deserve a daughter like you.
“I have plans. I’m just trying to understand why I could not reach you.”
You swallowed thickly. “I went for a hike, mom. I got lost and—.”
“Is it because of Naoya? Did the wedding invite bother you?”
And God, did you hate how she just knew these things. How could she be so certain and understanding but lacking any sort of sympathy for you?
”No one wants to see a wedding invite from their ex-husband,” you tersely stated, knuckles whitening against the tight grip on your device. “It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m not going.”
You couldn’t mask your dejection.
“Like hell you aren’t. The Zenin’s invited us, and so God help me if we aren’t in attendance. Especially after all they’ve done for us,” she firmly spoke, skimming her fingers through her wiry hair.
Even after your divorce, the Zenins still offered to take care of your family. You’d turned down their hush money since the start, ensuring you wouldn’t spread the fine details of your muddled relationship, but your mother enjoyed her early retirement and stuffing her pockets. 
You gritted your teeth, your discomfort only manifesting into blinding anger. Your lips tightened upwards and curled inwards, wrinkles littering the crease in your forehead. You wanted to scream at your mother, incoherent and inconsolable until you couldn’t anymore.
The relationship you held with your mother was too violent for tears. A woman who’d clipped the wings of her offspring and watched her stumble clumsily, never offering a hand to ground her. Built upon your own wreckage. Swallowing the words you so wished you could utter.
She hadn’t been your mother in a long time, really. 
You don’t know when it happened. Maybe when she’d haggled you for your too-short skirt when you were thirteen and barely growing into yourself. 
Maybe it was when you’d gotten accepted into your dream college and she could barely display an ounce of pride.
Maybe it was before you’d walked down the aisle, expressing your worries of having a small wedding that she only silenced you with a tut of her tongue.
Maybe it was after your father passed. Her blinded by grief and rage brought upon you like a monsoon, shoving you and gutting you beneath the tide.
Maybe it was when you told her you couldn’t bear children, not after trying for months and your husband's tone only becoming more and more clipped with each passing moment. 
Maybe it was when you’d come to her at four in the morning, crying when you’d found evidence of his infidelity and she’d only given you that same blank stare she wore, telling you that every man slips up and to turn a blind eye.
You hadn’t understood the severity of the situation you were in until it was too late. Marrying a man who so desperately wanted to continue his lineage.
And when he couldn’t? He’d just find it elsewhere.
Who said you didn’t want that as well? A child to call your own. A pathetic part of you thought this marriage would save you—sweep you out from under your feet and carry you to a higher standing. 
You thought that after all those years of gutted self-esteem, that a lavish white wedding would slap a bandaid on it.
It was pitiful. 
But what hurt the most was that you had no one on your side. Not your mother, not your father, not even a lover. No one to stand beside you when it all felt like it was tumbling down.
You wiped the vain tears from your cheeks, clearing your throat as you chose not to resign to your emotions, a tactic you’d taught yourself. “Okay, mom.”
You hung up, ignoring her calls of protest on the other line.
There was really no arguing with her, you saw no point in it.
You still had time before the wedding, enough time to build yourself up to someone untouchable by their comments. Comments not just from the Zenin family, but from your own kin.
You shoved your phone into your pocket, sniffling and blinking back the last of your tears.
No use in crying over it now.
Padding back into the bathroom, you watched Shoko spray away the suds she’d worked up. “Hey, I was gonna ask. What was the name of the guy you stayed with?” She queried, wiping her forearm against her forehead.
You averted her gaze, focusing on the sink you needed to bleach. “Sukuna.”
She chuckled to herself, making an ‘ouhhhh’ sound that you smacked her for, drawing a cigarette from her pocket and thumbing the sparkwheel.
No matter your protests, she assumed that this mystery man was your secret lover.
You snagged the lighter from her before she could get a chance to light it.
“Hey! I was using that,” she pouted, lower lip jutting as she frowned.
“Uh huh. No smoking indoors and on the job. Do you want to lose your job?” 
She scoffed, snagging the lighter back. “Funny coming from you. Smoke detectors were turned off for cleaning and repairs.”
You huffed, snapping a new set of gloves on.
The sound of fire kindling had your stomach lurching, sent into a volley of somersaults. 
The smell was even worse.
Of course she had to be smoking Marlboro Reds.
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madamechrissy · 2 days ago
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Mr. Nanami's Secretary
Pairings - Boss Nanami x Secretary reader
Contents/warnings- based off the movie 'The Secretary' quite clearly aha, BDSM heavy, dom/sub elements, Nanami is NOT nice lol, power dynamics, some sexual teasing, quite an ass beating bc Nanami is mad at your typos!!!
This is for my baby @indiewritesxoxo she wanted this fic to win so badly lol! If ya'll want a tag for part two lmk in the comments <3
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How did you end up here?
Crawling on all fours, with Mr. Nanami's paper dangling between your lips, wearing your black gartered stockings and your little blouse and pencil skirt, utterly professional looking - but here you are, crawling like a little puppy over his hardwood floors. As you get closer and enter his office, he leans back, lowering his green glasses, stern face assessing you when you crawl up to him.
You tilt your chin up and he reaches a hand down, tugging it out of your teeth's grip, inspecting it while tugging at his cheetah tie. It's the one quirky thing about his otherwise serious attire, this suit that fits him just a bit tightly, his muscles so big under his dress shirt it's like the material has to stretch.
You know there are two outcomes to this paper.
One, praise.
Two, punishment.
You're perfectly happy with either, you love his punishment as much as you love his praise - only one thing would be better, and that's having all of Mr. Nanami, which you're dying for. Your cunt is wet again just thinking about it, about another three days of not sitting right because he's beat you with his belt, and maybe he'd actually do more with you.
Nanami's lips purse as he's carefully studying your typing, if he finds just one flaw, you'll be bent over his desk, if you do it perfectly, he'll pat your head so sweet and let you rest your cheek on his lap. The thoughts make your heart race, as you patiently wait, your palms flat on your thighs as he likes you.
"Hmm," his husky sound just makes you desire him more, fuck you're tired of touching yourself to the thoughts of him, eyeing his side profile in the soft lights ahead. "What a shame, you almost got it all completely perfect."
"I did-"
"Did I tell you to speak?" His voice is calm, raising a thin brow, turning to you now, you're flushed when he tilts your chin up with two fingers, hazel eyes glinting.
"No, Sir."
"No, I didn't, yet you're still talking, huh?" You open your mouth again, just to close it. "I was going to let this slide, because it's just one letter wrong, but..."
He stands now, pushing back his giant office chair, standing so tall over you as his hand enwraps in your hair, tugging just a bit, you see the tenting in his slacks, making your cunt throb around nothing. You barely hold in a whine as he speaks slowly.
"Go lock the door."
You know better than to argue or ask, it's been your new routine, serving him, and he in turn tells you what to do. What to eat, what to wear, what to say, fuck you love it, love feeling like finally your life has some sort of order, wanting it to belong to him utterly.
With a gentle click of his door, you look back over your shoulder at him, so tall and broad, he's loosened his tie just a bit, showcasing the veins running across his neck. You swallow nervously as you head back to him, until your heels are right against his perfectly polished dress shoes.
"Bend over the desk," he murmurs, stepping around it, as you walk up nervously, doing just that. "Lift your skirt."
You're palms flat on the desk, arched for him, you've tugged your skirt up over the curve of your ass, while he just stands there. "Mr. Nanami..."
"I haven't given you permission to speak darling, have I?" The way it rolls off his tongue, when you feel his fingers ghosting your ass, the way you wish he'd do more, touch more, for once he does barely brush your slit for just a moment, your eyes shut, a gasp escaping. "Your slutty cunt is soaking wet from crawling on the floor?"
You look back at him, he nods. "No sir."
"What are you dripping for? Going to make a mess of my floors, tsk," he aches to sink two fingers inside your cunt - but not just yet, you have to need him more, beg for it more. So instead he lands a sharp smack against your ass cheek, cock throbbing when he sees his hand print, hearing your muffled cry as you bite your lip. "Ah ah."
He leans over, cupping your chin now, you're arching further against him, dying for more contact, he lands another smack. "Mr. Nanami..."
"Don't muffle your cries, I want to hear them, hmm? Nod if you understand." You nod quickly, nearly tasting his breath before he pulls back and lands another smack. The sharp sting just makes your cunt ache even more.
He doesn't stop there, no his sharp smacks echo in his office, mixed with muffled cries as your tears well up in your eyes, sniffling as you try to not fall to the ground. It's one after the other, so many your thighs nearly collapse, smacks until you'll be bruised from him for weeks, marked from him.
The sight of you was so fucking sexy like this, Nanami can't stand it, your arousal glistening and dripping down your inner thigh. He swipes a bit of it up, your thighs are twitching, cunt pushing more and more clear strings of arousal out. He can't help but captures some of it on his thumb, slipping it in his mouth and biting back a moan and how good you fucking taste, before smacking the fuck out of your ass again.
He loves how it jiggles for him, he loves how his hand prints are littered across it in patterns. "Don't move, you know the rules, don't you?"
"S-Sorry..." You can't help it, not when he touched the cunt you've been playing with since you started working here. "Could you... do more?"
"Now you're demanding things of me? That's not how this works, darling." He smacks you right across your cunt, your head falls back, hoarse moan escaping from your throat. "Do you deserve that after that glaringly apparent typo?"
"N-no..."
"I was going to lick this pretty cunt," he trails a finger from your clit up your dripping slit, up past your hole, teasing but never entering, yet this is more from Mr. Nanami than you've gotten so far. "But you aren't acting appropriately, are you Miss?"
"No, I'm sorry Mr. Nanami - ah!" He smacks your cunt again, fuck you almost cum, the sting and burn and ache so perfect, but then he pulls back, brushing back your hair almost gently.
"Go type the paper up again, make it perfect, not one mistake, hmm?" He tugs at your hair, yanking your head back, you nod, and he smiles just a bit. "Good girl."
He leaves you to sit back in his chair, you carefully tug your skirt down, biting your lip at the sweet pain, you go to open the door when he stops you. "Yes Mr. Nanami?"
"Hands and knees," he says softly, you sink right down, and he smiles just a bit, serious attorney Nanami having just one little moment where you see the real him come through. "Crawl on back to your desk now."
He props his feet up, crossing his legs at the heels, as you do just that. You should feel degraded, or feel some shame, right? But all you can think of as you crawl to your desk is how badly you want your boss Mr. Nanami inside you, even as you can barely sit on your stinging and bruised ass, you feel it, your mind drifting to it.
Just how did you get here?
♡ 💜 ♡︎ ♡ 💜 ♡︎ ♡ 💜 ♡︎ ♡ 💜 ♡︎ ♡ 💜 ♡︎ ♡ 💜 ♡︎ ♡ 💜 ♡︎
I love when Nanami is mean lol
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teaboot · 1 day ago
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Question that I suspect is autism related
I have, on more than one occasion over multiple decades, been told that I “need to have the last word” and that I “have a response for everything”.
Additionally and in a similar vein, I’ve been told that “everything is an argument with you” and I “always have to say something”.
When I was a little kid I was bad at conversations. People said stuff I had no opinion on or didn’t need follow-up and so I wouldn’t answer and they’d get bored. And eventually through trial and error I figured out that if someone said something to me, all I had to do was say something related back, and the interaction could go on as long as it needed to.
But then as a teen- and now as an adult- a number of people (mostly people I’ve found to be very delicate and particular about things in a sort of need-to-be-in-control authoritarian way) have expressed the identical observation about how I naturally try to converse, and I’m not sure what to do about it.
And the thing is, I have a sibling that talks like this too. We bicker all the time. He changes his own opinions seemingly at a whim for the purpose of being contrary, and it’s impossible to make a statement or observation out loud without him contradicting it, and even when he is demonstrably, factually wrong about something, he will dig his heels into the dirt and defend his stance to the grave.
And like. I hear myself responding, or adding on to people’s comments, but I don’t hear the ‘arguing’ they describe, or the contrarian habits of my sibling. Even when I’m paying attention and being bery careful not to follow up too much or speak too often or disagree or correct something that isn’t important, I get called out for “picking a fight”. They say something, I answer, they reply, I continue, then seemingly out of nowhere they snap. I think everything’s fine until suddenly it isn’t.
And so I guess my question is, how can you tell if you’re a contrary sort of person? How can you tell when to respond or follow up on a person’s statement and how do you know when to leave it in silence? Does everybody see me this way, and is it only people who are already short-tempered who are willing to say it?
I honestly don’t really have that much to say, and half the time I don’t even really want to talk at all, but I’ve been told countless times that I “just seem to like the sound of your own voice” and have to just be “tuned out after a while”. So if it isn’t necessary and I don’t even want to, why am I doing it?
Is there a reason I’m like this? Why is my sibling like this? How do I stop talking when there’s nothing to say, and how can I tell the difference between a conversation and an argument before the other person visibly snaps?
I’m a full grown adult
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maskedbyghost · 2 days ago
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this is part 2 to toxic ex!Simon Riley x f!Reader, smut, mdni
You hadn’t planned to cry, and honestly, you weren’t even sure why your chest felt tight in the first place. It was just supposed to be a walk, nothing more, just some fresh air and sunshine and maybe a break from your own thoughts.
You thought moving your body might help. Maybe if you just walked far enough, breathed deep enough, looked up at the clouds instead of staring at your bedroom ceiling, something would click into place and you’d feel like yourself again. Like a person again.
But the universe clearly had other plans.
Because every corner you turned, there was another couple.
They weren’t even being obnoxious about it. It wasn’t the affection that made you roll your eyes or want to vomit. It was worse. It was the soft stuff, the connection you could feel without even hearing a word of it.
A guy was walking with his girlfriend, and his hand was resting right at the small of her back. Another couple sat under a tree with a checkered blanket spread out beneath them. She was half in his lap, trying to balance her drink, laughing at something he had said, and he was holding her as if she were made of glass and sunlight, one arm wrapped around her waist and the other brushing her hair with his hands, slowly.
An older couple walked by, holding hands, their fingers intertwined so casually that it made your throat ache. She was talking, he was nodding, and they stopped every few steps to point at the flowers planted along the sidewalk like they had all the time in the world.
And you just… froze.
It wasn’t jealousy. It wasn’t even sadness, just this deep yearning that settled heavy in your chest and refused to budge, this desperate ache for something that didn’t hurt, something soft, something simple, something that didn’t feel like you were holding your breath all the time, afraid of saying the wrong thing or asking for too much.
You wanted to be held. Not grabbed, nor thrown onto a bed because someone couldn’t control themselves. You wanted to be chosen in the quiet moments, when there was no sex or tension or drama to sweeten the deal. You wanted someone to look at you and think, There you are. I’ve been waiting for you.
You sat down on the nearest bench, dropped your phone into your lap, and just stared at the grass. You didn’t want to cry in public, not really, but the sting was there, just behind your eyes, and you blinked fast, hoping it’d go away.
Your phone buzzed.
You didn’t even want to check. You already knew, somehow, like a sixth sense, or maybe just muscle memory.
“Come over. I’ll order Thai. You can stay.”
As if it was some kind of prize. Like the offer of food and his bed was supposed to feel anything other than a pity invitation. Like that sentence wasn’t the exact same breadcrumb he’d been throwing your way for months, just enough to keep you following, never enough to satisfy.
He wasn’t saying I miss you. He wasn’t saying I’m sorry I hurt you or I didn’t know what I had until you were gone. He was saying Come over. Like this was still a game he was winning.
And maybe a week ago, hell, maybe even yesterday, you would’ve paused. You would’ve stared at the message with that same dull throb in your chest and thought maybe this time will be different. Maybe he means it. Maybe he’s trying.
But right now?
Right now, you felt done.
Done with making excuses for him. Done with confusing attention for affection. Done with dragging your heart behind you like dead weight every time he pulled you back in with nothing more than a half-assed promise and a takeout order.
Your fingers hovered for a second, just long enough to acknowledge the part of you that still wanted to believe he’d ever be capable of giving you what you needed.
And then you typed:
“No. We’re done, Simon. For real this time. Don’t text me again.”
Your thumb hit send before your brain could stop you, before your heart could scream, before the echo of what if could take root and grow into something dangerous again.
And then, without waiting for the three dots to pop up, without giving yourself a chance to hesitate or soften or let him back in even a little you blocked the number.
And that was it.
Your hand was trembling, your eyes burned, but the tears didn’t fall. And your heartbeat was steady in your chest, like it was relieved.
You looked up at the sky. Watched the clouds move slowly across the blue. They didn’t know what it meant to panic over someone who didn’t care.
You weren’t happy, not yet. But for the first time in too long, you didn’t feel chained to him anymore.
And that, in itself, felt like something.
...
You hadn’t seen him in over two weeks.
No texts, no calls, no sudden knocks at your door. No glimpses of him near your job, no DMs from new burner accounts, nor mutual friends trying to convince you he was “going through it.”
And honestly? You were starting to think he’d finally gotten the message. That maybe he’d realized what it meant when you said we’re done. That he’d felt the silence for what it was: a full stop, not a pause.
But then he showed up. Of course he did.
You were walking home from the grocery store, just a quick trip for bread and milk and some random snacks you didn’t need but bought anyway because the act of filling your cupboards made you feel happier. You’d just turned the corner onto your street, earbuds in, music low, mind somewhere else entirely, when you looked up and froze.
He was leaning against your building. And he had the nerve to be casual about it too, his arms crossed, head down like this wasn’t completely insane. He looked up when you stopped walking, and his mouth did that slow curl into a grin that used to make your stomach flip but now just made your jaw tighten.
You pulled your earbuds out and said nothing.
“Hey,” he said, as if this was normal or completely not out of bounds. “You’ve been hard to reach.”
“Simon,” you started, your voice flat, your pulse already kicking up. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
He shrugged. “You blocked my number and my backup email. You weren’t really leaving me a lot of options.”
You blinked, stunned at how casually he said it. “So you decided to stalk me instead?”
“That’s a dramatic word,” he said, pushing off the wall and walking toward you like you weren’t already backing away slightly, trying to hold onto your grip. “I just wanted to talk. You made that impossible.”
“I made it impossible because we broke up,” you snapped, dropping your grocery bag onto the steps with more force than necessary. “I told you not to text me. Not to call. I said we were done—done, Simon—what don’t you get?”
He smiled again, that infuriating smirk, like you’d just said something cute instead of trying to set a boundary.
“Yeah,” he said, cocking his head. “We broke up, sure. But that doesn’t mean you get to erase me.”
You stared at him, jaw slack. “Are you actually hearing yourself?”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Simon said, stepping closer now, his voice calmer, which, honestly, made you want to scream. “You think a couple texts and a blocklist are gonna make me forget what we were? You really think that’s enough?”
“I don’t want you to forget,” you snapped. “I want you to leave me alone. I want you to understand that this—whatever this was—is over. I’m not doing this anymore. I don’t belong to you.”
Something in his expression shifted then, just a flicker. A twitch of his jaw, a tightening of the eyes. You’d seen that look before, right before the walls went up. Right before the mask slipped into place.
“You keep saying we’re over,” Simon said slowly, “but you don’t get it.”
He stepped in so close you could feel the heat radiating off him, smell the scent of his skin, that cologne he always wore too much of, the one that used to make you ache but now just made your stomach turn.
“You and me?” he whispered. “We’re never really over.”
Your breath hitched, and for a second—for one stupid, fleeting second—you felt that pull again. That old, broken, magnetic force that lived in the space between his mouth and yours, in the memory of what it felt like to be wanted by him.
But you were so fucking tired of confusing that with love. So you stepped back.
You looked him dead in the eye, and you said:
“What do you want from me, Simon? Seriously. Do you want me to scream? Do you want me to cry? Do you want me to fall apart in front of you just so you can feel something? Because whatever this is—it’s not love, it’s not real. It’s you, trying to control me. And I’m done letting you.”
He didn’t say anything.
Just stood there. And you picked up your bag again, turned on your heel, and walked away. You didn’t look back, didn’t have to.
Because this time? You were the one leaving him behind.
...
It had been weeks.
Weeks of silence, weeks of healing, and pretending you were ready to move on, even when your heart still felt like a battlefield he’d walked away from without ever looking back.
So when your coworker asked you out—the nice one, the one who remembered your coffee order and always held the elevator—you said yes.
You didn’t feel fireworks, nor did you get butterflies. But you also didn’t feel dread, or the bone-deep exhaustion that came from chasing someone who only ever looked back when you were halfway out the door.
And maybe that was enough. Maybe soft was what you needed now. Safe and simple.
He took you to a cozy little restaurant tucked off the main street, the kind with candlelight and mismatched chairs and a menu written entirely in cursive. He held the door open for you, pulled your chair out when you sat, complimented your dress without looking at your chest. And you smiled, even if it felt a little forced. You laughed, even if it didn’t quite reach your eyes.
You tried...
Halfway through the meal, you excused yourself to the bathroom. The ladies’ room was down a narrow hallway in the back, quiet and dim, music muffled through the walls. You were halfway there when you felt it.
That shift in the air.
That awareness that only ever came from one person. And you didn’t even get the chance to turn around before he was there.
He stepped out from the shadows of the hallway like a fucking ghost, like he’d been waiting, like he knew you’d be here and timed it down to the minute. And before you could speak, before you could even breathe, he had you pressed up against the wall, one arm caging you in, the other sliding slowly along your waist.
His mouth was at your ear in an instant, voice low, thick, dirty.
“Really, sweetheart?” he murmured, breath warm against your skin. “This the best you can do?”
Your heart slammed in your chest. Your hands went to his chest, pushing lightly, but you didn’t move. Couldn’t.
He leaned in closer, body not quite touching yours but so fucking close, you could feel the heat radiating off him like fire.
“You think he’s gonna fuck you better than I do?” he whispered, and it wasn’t even a question—it was filth wrapped in confidence. “You think he even knows what to do with you? Bet he doesn’t even know how you sound when you beg. Doesn’t know how your thighs shake when I’ve got my mouth on you—”
“Stop it,” you hissed, voice shaking, but your knees were already weak and your throat felt tight.
Simon smirked, eyes dark and gleaming. “Can’t stop thinking about it, can you? His hands won't feel right, will they? Bet you’d picture mine every time he touches you.”
Your hands pushed harder now, but he didn’t flinch.
“And what about when he’s inside you?” Simon rasped, mouth brushing your jaw, teeth grazing skin just enough to make you gasp. “You gonna close your eyes and pretend it’s me?”
“At least he’ll fucking stay,” you snapped, louder now, anger burning through the haze. “At least he won’t leave the second he gets what he wants. At least I won’t wake up to an empty bed.”
That got him. His jaw clenched instantly.
But he didn’t move. He just stared at you, breathing hard, hands twitching like he didn’t know whether to touch you or punch a hole in the wall beside your head.
You shoved him. Hard.
“Get the fuck out of my way.”
Simon didn’t move right away. He just stood there, watching you like you’d gutted him, like your words had cut deeper than you’d meant them to—but you didn’t regret it.
Not this time.
You stepped around him, ignoring the way your legs trembled beneath you, head high, heart pounding like it was trying to tear its way out of your chest.
You didn’t look back.
You walked straight back to the table, sat down, and smiled at your date like your ex hadn’t just whispered filth into your ear in a hallway like a man possessed.
“Everything okay?” your date asked gently.
You nodded.
“Yeah,” you said. “The bathroom line was just long.”
...
The walk back to your apartment felt like an out-of-body experience.
Your date had walked you home, smiling the entire way, hands tucked into his pockets, making soft jokes that you tried to laugh at, even though your stomach had been turning since the second you stepped out of the restaurant. He was kind. He listened, he held the door open, and he even complimented your dress without leering. And when you reached your door, he leaned in and kissed you, soft and gentle, just like the kind of kiss you should want from someone like him.
And you felt nothing. Not even a flicker, not even a spark.
You kissed him back out of politeness, maybe even a little guilt, and when you stepped away and thanked him for dinner, he smiled like he’d had a good time. And you hated that you hadn’t. Hated that he was everything you said you wanted—safe, respectful, sweet—and all you could think about the whole fucking night was Simon’s mouth, Simon’s hands, Simon whispering filth and promises and pain in your ear like he was made to ruin you.
By the time you reached your door, your hands were shaking. Not from fear, but from rage.
From this endless, exhausting loop of trying to do the right thing and still craving the wrong one.
You fumbled with your keys, cursing under your breath, eyes burning. You wanted to scream. Wanted to punch a wall. Wanted to shove Simon’s face into the fact that he’d broken you so thoroughly that now, even when someone was good to you, it felt wrong.
The door opened. And there he was.
Simon.
Sitting on your couch but he didn’t look cocky this time. Didn’t smirk or lean back with that smug glint in his eye. He just sat there, elbows on his knees, head in his hands like he didn’t even know what to say anymore.
You dropped your purse.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” your voice cracked, sharp and loud in the quiet room.
He stood, slowly, but you were already walking toward him, hands clenched, eyes blazing.
“How dare you?” you hissed. “How fucking dare you be here again. After everything.”
“Just listen—”
“No!” you snapped. “No, you don’t get to talk. You don’t get to sit there and act like you’re confused about why I don’t want you in my life. You ruined me, Simon.”
He flinched, and good. You wanted it to hurt.
“You took everything I gave you, every part of me, and you made it ugly.” Your voice shook now, rage mixing with grief. “You used me when you wanted company. Tossed me when you were bored. And I kept coming back, like a fucking idiot, thinking maybe this time you’d mean it when you kissed me.”
He was quiet.
“I went on a date tonight,” you spat. “With someone who treated me like I mattered. Someone who held doors and remembered things I said and kissed me like he gave a damn, and do you know what I thought the whole time?”
Simon swallowed, barely whispering, “What?”
You shook your head, tears stinging your eyes now.
“I thought about you,” you said, voice cracking. “I thought about your fucking mouth, about your hands. I thought about how I’d rather have your soft kiss than his perfect one. And I hate myself for it.”
Simon took a step forward. “I never meant to—”
“Don’t,” you snapped, voice trembling now. “Don’t stand there and act like this just happened. You did this. You made me believe you’d never care, and now I’m so fucking broken I can’t even feel anything from someone who actually tries. I still picture you when I think about love, Simon. That’s the worst part.”
He was right in front of you now, his breathing shallow, his eyes wide as he just watched you split yourself open in front of him.
“I imagine you,” you whispered. “But better, softer, and kinder. I imagine you as the version I needed, the one I deserved, and it kills me, because I don’t even know if that version of you exists.”
Silence.
He reached out then, so slowly it made your breath catch, and placed one hand gently on your cheek, the lightest touch he’d ever given you.
“I can be him,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “I swear to God, I’ll try. I’ll be him.”
You didn’t respond. Couldn’t.
Because he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.
And then another, on your temple. One on your cheek, your jaw, your nose.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered between them. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
You were crying now, full-on sobbing, body shaking like it had been holding this in for far too long. And he didn’t grab you, didn’t pull you into him like he used to. He just stood there, kissing every tear that fell like he was trying to wipe them from existence.
“I didn’t know how to love you right,” he murmured, voice breaking. “But I will. If you let me. If you give me a chance, I’ll change. I’ll do the work. Just… don’t shut the door on me yet.”
You didn’t answer.
Because even after everything, even through all the rage and resentment and raw wounds, his kisses still felt like home.
And that was the scariest part of all.
He kissed your tears like they burned him, as if each one that slid down your cheeks was proof of what he’d broken, and he was trying, pathetically, hopelessly, to piece it all back together with nothing but his mouth and the weight of his regret.
You didn’t say anything when he pressed his forehead to yours. Didn’t pull away when he wrapped both arms around you like he thought you might disappear if he didn’t hold you tight enough.
You just stood there and let yourself breathe him in, his warmth, his scent.
“Let me show you,” Simon whispered, voice raw. “Please, just once. Let me make it right.”
You didn’t nod, you didn’t speak, but you let him take your hand.
He led you to the bed and didn’t tear your clothes off like he usually did. He didn’t grab or push or bite. He just kissed you, like you were something fragile, something he didn’t think he deserved to touch but was begging to try.
His hands trembled when he slid your top up over your arms. He took his time with every button, every hem, because rushing would ruin it. When your bra fell away, he kissed the center of your chest—not your breasts, not your neck—your chest, right over your heart, and rested there for a second like he was trying to feel it beat.
“You don’t have to forgive me now,” he whispered. “But I need you to know I’m gonna earn it. All of it. Whatever it takes.”
You didn’t stop the tears. You didn’t hide from them. They slid quietly down your cheeks as he lowered himself between your legs and pressed his mouth to your stomach, your hips, your thighs—anywhere but the place you were already aching for him.
“I’m gonna learn how to love you right,” he murmured against your skin. “I’m gonna give you every soft thing I never thought you’d want. You won’t have to beg for affection anymore. You won’t have to guess if I’ll stay.”
He kissed the inside of your thigh, then the other, then finally pressed his mouth to where you needed him. It felt as if he was praying with his tongue. Like this was how he was going to worship you now.
You gasped, hands fisting the sheets, more tears slipping from the corners of your eyes.
And he noticed. Of course he did.
He looked up from between your thighs, his face a mess of want and pain.
“You don’t have to cry,” he said softly, crawling back up your body. “I mean… I know why you are. But I hate that I’m the reason for it. I swear, I’ll never hurt you like that again.”
You cupped his face, fingers trembling, and he leaned into your touch like it was the only thing holding him together.
He lined himself up, slow and careful, and when he pushed inside, he went still. Completely still. Just breathing against your mouth, his hands cradling your face like he couldn’t believe he was allowed this close again.
“You feel like home,” he whispered, voice cracking. “Fuck, you always did.”
He moved slowly, painfully slow. Like every thrust was an apology. Like he was rewriting the way he touched you, undoing every rushed, selfish fuck with something tender and earned.
Your tears didn’t stop. And neither did he.
He kissed your eyelids, your cheeks, and your jaw. Whispered everything he’d never said when it would’ve mattered most.
“I’m gonna do better.”
“I’ll take care of you. I swear I will.”
“No more games. No more pushing you away.”
You whimpered beneath him, arms wrapped tight around his shoulders, clinging to him like you didn’t know how to let go anymore.
He rested his forehead against yours and kept moving, slow and deep, every thrust sending something hot and unbearable through your chest.
“You deserve flowers,” he breathed. “And check-ins. And hand-holding and fucking morning texts and someone who doesn’t make you cry every goddamn day.”
His voice cracked again. You felt it.
“And I want to be him,” Simon said, nearly choking on it. “I need to be him.”
Your body trembled beneath him. You were already so close, not just because of his cock, but because of the way he was inside you.
You came with a broken sob, your nails digging into his back, your legs shaking.
He came a moment later, groaning into your neck, and holding you tightly.
He didn’t pull out and didn’t move.
Just wrapped his arms around you, face pressed to your shoulder, and kissed you again and again and again, believing that if he just stayed close enough, the damage might finally start to heal.
...
Morning came quietly.
You woke to the pale gray light bleeding through your bedroom curtains, the kind of early morning glow that made everything feel hazy. For a few seconds, it was peaceful. Warm.
And then you remembered.
The weight behind you wasn’t just a dream.
Simon.
Still here, and breathing steadily against your back, one arm draped around your waist.
Your stomach twisted.
It wasn’t that last night had been bad. It hadn’t. If anything, it had been too good. Too soft. Too vulnerable. It was the kind of night you used to pray for back when you thought he’d never give it to you.
And now?
Now it just felt like weakness.
You untangled yourself from his arm slowly, carefully, trying not to wake him as you sat up and slipped your legs over the side of the bed. But he stirred anyway, and you felt his hand twitch behind you, reaching for something that wasn’t there anymore.
You stood up and didn’t turn around when you said it.
“Simon… you need to go.”
Silence.
Then the quiet sound of bedsheets rustling behind you.
“...You serious?” His voice was rough from sleep, low and uncertain in a way you weren’t used to hearing from him.
You nodded, still facing the window. “Yeah. I am.”
He sat up, and you could hear it, the shift in weight, the creak of the mattress, the pause before the sigh.
“Last night—” he started, but you cut him off.
“Was a moment,” you said, finally turning around to look at him. “That’s all. A moment of weakness. It doesn’t mean everything’s okay.”
He blinked at you, eyes bloodshot, hair messy, mouth parted.
“I meant everything I said,” he told you quietly. “Every word.”
“I know,” you said. “But meaning it isn’t enough. Not yet.”
He was quiet again, looking down at his hands, he didn’t know what to do with them now that they weren’t holding you.
“Okay,” he said eventually, dragging a hand through his hair and exhaling slowly. “Okay. I’ll go.”
You watched as he stood, pulled on his jeans, his hoodie, his boots. He didn’t rush, nor beg. He just moved with weighted sadness, like leaving was physically hard to do.
But at the door, he paused and turned around. “This isn’t the last time you’ll see me.”
You opened your mouth, but he kept going.
“I’m gonna prove it to you. That I meant what I said. That I’m changing. You’re gonna look at me one day, and you’re not gonna feel stupid for loving me anymore.”
You didn’t reply.
You just looked at him, arms crossed, your heart pounding.
And then he opened the door and stepped into the hall, casting one last glance back over his shoulder.
“I’ll win you back,” Simon said, voice like a quiet promise. “Even if it kills me.”
The door clicked shut behind him.
And you didn’t breathe until you were alone again.
PART 3
-----------------------------------------
@nightunite I'm not done with this bitch yet.
@daydreamerwoah @kylies-love-letter @ghostslollipop @kittygonap @alfiestreacle @identity2212 @farylfordaryl @rafaelacallinybbay @akkahelenaa @lovelovelovelovelove987654321 @wraith-bravo6 @tessakate @xocandyy @nightfwn @robinfeldt98 @xiisblogs @mad-die45 @readingthingy @actualpoppy @amongthe141 @whore4romance @thatghostlykid @syofrelief @avgdestitute @sheepdogchick3 @echo9821 @imalapdog @foxintheferns @trulovekay @preeyas-world @ruleroftides @rose37373 @succulambb @havoc973
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wendichester · 3 days ago
Note
please!! dean x autistic reader that has an hyperfixation on cars and starts tweaking out when they see the impala for the first time, starting to drop informations about its history and other stuff abt it !! it would be so cute
𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 car buff,
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summary. dean had no clue you knew so much about cars. and oh boy, he's feeling it
pairing. dean winchester x autistic!reader genre. fluff
wordcount. 545
notes / warnings. reader with hyperfixation on cars (enthusiastic infodumping), slight awkwardness (canon-typical dean), soft boy dean trying to play it cool but melting, lots of car facts, nothing but vibes and serotonin
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Dean’s halfway through filling the tank when he hears it.
“Oh my god, is that a ‘67 Impala?”
He turns. And then immediately stares.
You’re walking toward the car like it’s a religious artifact, eyes wide and shiny and locked on her like she’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen—which, honestly, fair. But Dean’s used to people ignoring the Impala. Or calling her a boat. Or saying she looks like a damn hearse.
Not this.
“You even have the original grille,” you’re saying, almost breathless. “Is that the factory paint or did you restore it? Oh my god, and the interior—wait, wait, are those bench seats?”
Dean blinks. “Uh… yeah.”
You drop into a crouch to look closer at the tires and start muttering under your breath like you're cataloging her specs. Which you kind of are.
Dean can’t help but grin. “You a fan?”
You pop up like you forgot he was there, eyes lit with excitement. “Fan is an understatement. This is THE car. Like—the car. It’s the holy grail of muscle. Four hundred twenty-seven cubic inches, V8 engine, 385 horsepower if you tune it right—and she’s got the bones for long-haul driving, which you never get in these classics.”
Dean lets out a low whistle, clearly impressed. “Most people just say she’s shiny.”
“Those people have no taste,” you shoot back, not missing a beat.
Dean laughs. He’s never heard someone defend Baby’s honor that fast. He likes it.
“You a mechanic or just real into old Chevys?”
“I mean—” You pause. “I’m autistic. Hyperfixated on cars since I was like, six. I used to fall asleep listening to my grandpa’s engine manuals. I can take apart a carburetor blindfolded. Tried to do it in eighth grade science class. Was not appreciated.”
Dean barks out a laugh. You beam, proud and not even a little embarrassed. It’s contagious.
“Name’s Dean,” he offers, tossing the gas nozzle back into the pump. “She’s mine. Fully restored her with my own hands. Most folks don’t even give her a second look anymore.”
“They’re fools.”
He points at you. “Exactly.”
You walk a slow circle around the Impala, reverent. “The chrome’s original, too, huh? You polish this, don’t you? Like religiously.”
Dean looks a little sheepish. “Every week.”
You glance up at him, a big, dorky smile on your face. “I think I love you.”
Dean chokes. “Sorry, what?”
You freeze. “Oh my god. Out loud. I said that out loud.”
You look like you’re about to self-destruct. Dean raises his hands quickly, chuckling.
“Hey, hey—it’s alright. I mean, you just met the real love of my life. Pretty sure you’re her type.”
You glance at the car. Then back at Dean. “So… do I get to sit in her or do I have to buy you dinner first?”
Dean grins, big and slow. “Tell you what. You let me take you to dinner, and I’ll even let you ride shotgun.”
You gasp. “With the windows down?”
Dean nods solemnly. “Cassette tape blasting. Bench seat privilege included.”
“Deal.”
You hold out your hand like it’s sacred, and Dean takes it, shaking with a smile.
Neither of you knows it yet, but this is absolutely going to become a love story.
It just starts with chrome.
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ꔛ. navigation 𓂃˖ ࣪ all drabbles ; compatibility readings ; support my work .ᐟ
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firingstars · 3 days ago
Text
locked in
— a sequel to match made
congressman!bucky x matchmaker!reader
summary: you and your boyfriend have been together for a strong nineteen months and counting. problem is, you’re starting to notice he’s hiding things from you.
warnings: 18+, mdni, smut, semi-public (?) stuffs, oral (f+m receiving), hair pulling, face grabbing, fingers in mouth, unprotected sex, backshots, fingering, window… sex…, soft dom bucky, slight sub reader, language, no use of y/n, alcohol consumption, bucky is the best boyfriend ever and loves you very much
word count: 15.2k
a/n: due to popular demand, here’s a second part! this is also my formal apology for whatever happened in love, persevering <3 please accept. // also if anyone saw this get prematurely posted with NOTHING attached you didn’t fucking see it. i wasn’t made aware until EIGHT HOURS LATER and the fic wasn’t even done yet!!! 😔 i always make my fic intro template things before my fics are done for motivation
masterlist
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You almost lost your fucking job. 
You expected it, honestly. With the amount of lines you crossed, boundaries broken, and toes you stepped on… Yeah. There was only so much that your boss could take from you— star employee or not. 
Thankfully, your boss kept the whole thing quiet from the rest of your coworkers to spare you the embarrassment since you had the decency to come to her and tell her the truth. 
It still meant you had to refund Sam Wilson the entire Ador Luxury Matchmaking Package, which your boss was not happy about.
Sam, on the other hand, was over the moon. 
When he received the refund transaction, he called you almost immediately. You had to go into a private conference room to answer the call, away from your coworkers.
“Mr. Wilson,” you answered the phone, trying to keep your tone light.
“Hey, Ms. Matchmaker,” he said, suspicion in his voice. “Did Buck cancel his membership?”
“That is correct,” you said, clearing your throat. 
“I thought we had an agreement. I paid you guys extra to not allow him to bully you guys into ending the program,” Sam said. You can hear the frustration in his voice. You don’t blame him. “What happened?”
“I can assure you– the refund is not due to Congressman Barnes just cancelling the service,” you said. “In fact, he is no longer in need of my services.”
“What? Then he’s been on a date?” Sam asked. “If that’s the case, then why the refund? If the date was successful, then doesn’t Bucky get the benefits or whatever?”
There was no response from your end for a good handful of moments. You were stuck, unable to respond. You couldn’t figure out how to say the words in the most professional way possible. You needed to find the right concoction, just in case there was someone walking down the hall at that exact moment,  and overheard your conversation. 
In the end, all you could think was that Bucky was a dead man walking.
You were going to kill Bucky. You weren’t sure how you were going to do that, seeing as he was the one with the years of experience of fighting between the two of you, but you would do it. You were hoping that he would’ve told his one and only friend that he had a girlfriend. 
Then again, Bucky refused to answer any of Sam’s calls. You texted Sam back most of the time when you got ahold of Bucky’s phone, pretending to be Bucky. Bucky didn’t care that you were doing that– though you wondered if Sam would be heartbroken if he ever found out. 
“Hello?” Sam asked, calling out your name. “Are you there?”
“Congressman Barnes terminated his membership with Ador as he and I have mutually decided to pursue a more personal relationship with each other,” you quickly answered him, cringing at your own words. You took a quick breath in before continuing, “The refund is due to my own oversight, and is serving as an apology to you for wasting your time on our service. I truly hope that you will forgive me for being unable to maintain a more professional connection with the client.”
It was Sam’s turn to fall silent. You had to check your phone to make sure that the call was still active. There was a slight rustle on the other end, letting you know that he was still there– that he was on the other end, dissecting your words, gears processing through his mind.
“The matchmaker I hired is dating my friend?!” he cackled. 
“Mr. Wilson, I truly apologize for the inconvenience–” 
“There is no inconvenience!” he cut you off, still laughing. “Holy shit, let me tell you– after that first meeting with you? I asked Bucky what he thought about you as his matchmaker and his only words? He thought you were pretty. Would not say anything else. Fuck, listen, let me call you back– or let’s all go to dinner. You, me, Buck, and my girl. I gotta head down to the office and harass Bucky right now.”
You went on an unpaid suspension for eight weeks after the refund transaction went through. The HQ of Ador had to undergo a full on investigation to figure out if you were worth keeping around as an employee or not, seeing as you ended up breaking client-employee conduct. 
Your boss wasn’t awful, though. In fact, she was only pissed off about the refund because she knew that headquarters back in London would have been alerted. Either way, it was still the right thing to process the transaction. She promised you that she would be your biggest advocate during the investigation, and she would try to argue for you to get the time to be paid seeing as you were the best employee in the New York branch.
The second you told Bucky– who told Sam– you found money wired into your account the next business day. It was the same exact amount that you had refunded back to Sam. It was still more money than you would’ve made if you were working those eight weeks. 
Neither man told you how they got ahold of your bank information. Neither man would look you in the eye when you questioned them. 
So, you had eight weeks of basically overpaid, free vacation to do whatever the hell you wanted, and a new boyfriend. Which meant you spent damn near every single day in his office, cosplaying as some government worker– an intern or secretary. And you were helping him. You actually were. 
“You really don’t have to do any of this, baby,” Bucky told you. You had been coming for an entire week straight at this point.
“If I stay stationary for two months, I think I might die of brain failure,” you told him, stealing a stack of his files from him. “Besides. You look like you need some help. You should really hire a secretary. Or someone to help you out. A personal assistant, maybe?”
“I can handle it on my own,” he sighed, shaking his head. Despite his words, he looked grateful as you took the files to the lounge area of his office and spread them out on the coffee table.
“Tell that to me when you sleep more than two hours a night, handsome,” you said, tucking your legs under you.
With less sensitive information that he was allowed to hand over to you, you organized and kept tabs on. You summarized documents for him perfectly that made his life easier. You helped train other onboarding interns that didn’t know what the hell they were doing. You managed his calendar when he looked like he was about to combust into flames. You got to spend time with him during his breaks, have lunch with him, eat dinner with him, and he would drive you home, and spend the night with you most nights.
Not that anyone knew that, though. They thought you were an actual employee of this official government building in New York. With the way that you walked side by side with Bucky every single day, holding files and looking down at his work phone– they really thought that you were working for him.
“Where’s your secretary today?”
You don’t know who asked the question, and you don’t really care. There’s about three other officials in this room that barged in out of nowhere, when you were on Bucky’s lap. 
Both of you had panicked, and he had shoved you into the hiding space beneath his desk before any of them could see the scandalous position he had you in. 
Unluckily for him, he had chosen the wrong place to put you. 
“At a training session with other interns,” Bucky said, tone clipped and short. He was irritated at being interrupted out of nowhere, but also at the fact that you were ignoring his warnings. 
You grinned, pressing an innocent kiss to the hand that gripped over your wrist. Tight, but not enough to hurt you. You continued to palm over his hardening length with your free hand. 
You weren’t paying attention to any of the fancy words that were being thrown around over your head, but you were certain that Bucky wasn’t either. You rested the side of your head against his thigh, feeling the muscle tense and hardened at your touch as you continued to lazily play with him over the fabric of his dress pants. 
Bucky’s metal hand slipped from your wrist to your hair, carding through it and stopping at the base of your skull– another cautionary message being sent to you as Bucky tried to focus on the sudden meeting thrown his way. Thankfully, these men loved the sound of their own voices. They couldn’t hear you slowly unzip him, and free Bucky from the confines of his slacks. 
“Your thoughts, Congressman Barnes?”
Your boyfriend cleared his throat above you as your lips kissed the tip of his cock, wrapping your hand around the base of him to keep him in place as his dick twitched in response. You fought back the small hum that threatened to come forth as you licked up the small bead of precum that leaked out.
“It’s a very… worrying matter,” Bucky said slowly, clenching his jaw as he took in a slow breath. You licked a thin strip up from the base of his cock– focusing on the thick vein that you knew was sensitive. “That is very worrisome. And we’ll get to the bottom of this uh– worrying... issue.”
You paused at his words, unable to believe what you were hearing from him for a moment. You pulled away from him for a moment, hand still wrapped around his dick as you pressed your face to his thigh, trying to hide your laugh into his flesh. 
Bucky’s hand tugged back on your hair roughly, pulling your head back and away from his thigh. Immediately, his metal hand shifted from your hair to clasp around your face, covering your mouth. His fingertips dug into the soft skin of your cheeks, daring you to make another noise. Surprise and excitement shot through your body in response.  
You could test him. You could press it. 
You decided against it, and licked his palm instead, closing your eyes. You could feel his hand twitch against your face— he told you once that his arm was calibrated to feel sensations. That he felt nerves like his other arm did. You smiled just a little, then kissed right where your tongue had just been. 
All the while, your hand was still pumping at his dick in lazy strokes. Nothing too much, nothing that would alert anyone of your presence, nothing that would make him let out noises that were only yours to hear. 
“Right,” one of the officials said slowly. “Well– we have lunch with some of the other representatives in ten minutes. You are welcome to join us, Congressman. If your secretary comes back from her training, she is more than welcome to join us as well. Lord knows we need a little more eye candy around here.”
A chorus of laughter rang around the room, but not from Bucky. In fact, he just stared at them until their laughter became uncomfortable, and they awkwardly excused themselves. 
The second the door to his office shut, Bucky’s chair was rolled back instantly, and your hands weren’t touching him anymore. 
You were still on your knees, looking up at him as Bucky stared down at you, hand still on your face to shut you up before you had been caught laughing at his inability to form proper words with your mouth on his cock.
“You’re so pretty like this, baby,” he murmured, hand shifting to cradle your face.
A metal thumb brushed against your lip slowly, a shiver running down your spine involuntarily. His touch was gentle. Reverent. He touched you like you were made of glass. Unlike the blown out, hungry look in his eyes, the gruff, low tone of his voice as he whispered to you. 
From the corner of your eye, you saw his other hand tuck himself back into his pants. When your eyebrows furrowed in response, he let out a soft chuckle.
Bucky leaned down, pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead. Then, he stood up tall. He rolled his shoulders back, but you couldn’t focus. Your eyes were on him, and the aching bulge above his zipper. 
“I have to go to lunch, sweetheart. When I get back, you’re going to get exactly what you wanted from me, okay?” 
Your boyfriend left you there. Left you partially under his desk, still on your knees. What was supposed to be you teasing him, quickly shifted into you being extremely hot and bothered. You didn’t know how long lunch would take, either. 
You busied yourself with literally anything else. Not that it worked. Every footstep that came down the corridor, you were jumping in attention like some rabbit in heat.
Except, Bucky moved like a ghost. You wouldn’t hear his footsteps. 
When he finally returned, you didn’t even hear him until the sound of the office door locking caught your attention. You barely had the time to turn around before he was all over you. Lips were on yours as he hoisted you upwards, wrapping your legs around his waist to carry you to his choice of christening. 
An arm swiped his desk clear of any debris so no pens or other office supplies would be digging into your skin. He bunched your skirt up to your hips, and pulled your panties to the side. Bucky bent you over his desk with fingers shoved into your mouth to keep you quiet as he did what you wanted from the beginning. He curtained you, his chest pressed against your back as he whispered sweet nothings to contrast the punishing thrust of his hips— letting you know that he still very much adored you, but was also extremely annoyed by your little game earlier.
Afterwards, Bucky cleaned you up gently. Kissed you softly, held you tightly in his arms. Then presented you with food that he brought back for you– he ordered you lunch while he was out eating since he knew you wouldn’t have left the office while he was gone. 
You almost jumped his bones again right then and there for how considerate he was of you.
So yes, you almost lost your job, but you weren’t necessarily upset about it. Not when you got to spend an entire month with Bucky, helping him out at work, cuddling with him at night, and waking up at whatever time you wanted the next morning. On the rare days that you weren’t at the office with him, it was because you were somewhere else– still with him. 
Eventually, you were called back into work.
You convinced Bucky to hire an assistant to take care of his little things— stuff that you did for him to make his life easier so he could focus on more pressing things. It managed to ease his workload just a little bit, but not by a lot. Bucky still managed to bite more than he could chew, and you knew he was stressed from how slow the process was for passing bills and getting change to happen. 
Despite it all, the two of you were content. Happy. Overjoyed, really. He was perfect, and he swore to the heavens that you were, too.
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A cacophony of voices, poppers, music, and sparkles were blasted into your face as you pushed open the door to the office. Streamers were shot directly into your face, colors cascading directly before your eyes, showering you with colors of the pastel rainbow. 
Your coworkers, all dressed to the nines, were cheering. A few of them held flutes of champagne. Two of them held balloons– together making the number twelve together. One of them held a cake that read congratulations.
There was a catering table set for the party that was clearly waiting for you. You saw the table set, ready for everyone to dig into. You knew your boss didn’t hold back when it came to celebrating any kind of achievements, especially not your own. You were the best at what you did here.
Your grin wasn’t smug, even though you had every single right to be. You shrugged your blazer off as you sauntered into the room, allowing the applause and cheers to wash over you. You dropped your purse and other materials off at your desk as your boss approached you with a grin, hands going to your shoulders.
“My star employee– our number one matchmaker!” she cooed at you, everyone shouting around you in response to our praise. “Tell me, with this wedding upcoming this weekend, how many will you be responsible for?”
You paused, only for dramatic effect. The ceiling looked suddenly oh so interesting as you smiled. Then, you guessed, “Twelve?”
“Twelve!” your boss roared, the girls around you jumping up and down with excitement and cheer. 
“Do a speech, a speech!” your deskmate urged, and you only let out a small, playful sigh as everyone died down around you.
You were handed your own glass of champagne, led to the front of the room, and turned to look at all the girls. Girls that you worked with for the past six, almost seven years. Your boss had been doing this job for well over a decade now. There were a few new faces that had just started a few months ago. 
With your glass lifted into the air, you smiled, “Love is all around. It’s easy to find the perfect match for someone.”
They squealed, toasting to you. The cake was brought to you, letting you blow out the candles as if it was your birthday or something– just a tradition your company had for good luck. Something to bring more successful matches and weddings to your clients.
Your two clients, Luke and Jessica, were tying the knot after twelve months of dating, and another four months engaged. One year and four months— which was a relatively short time, but who were you to judge? They both told you they knew the other party was the one after the first date. Who were you to stand in the way of them? 
Just because you were fucking bitter, and jealous that you couldn’t spend time with your own boyfriend despite the fact that Luke and Jessica got together three months after you two did didn’t mean a thing. Not a single thing. 
You masked your growing irritation well with your clients. After all, your performance margins had been going through the roof within the last six months. Your productivity has never been better, your clients have never been happier with your performance, and you have been churning out perfect match after match like you might as well have been Cupid himself. 
Yet, you couldn’t find a single time for your own boyfriend. 
When you had a free night, he didn’t. There was a dinner that he had to get to, one that required secrecy amongst government officials. You understood that. You didn’t hold that against him– especially not when he looked pained to tell you that you couldn’t join him when you offered to come with him the first time he said he had the work dinner. Because you didn’t mind joining him for work related activity. You just wanted to spend time with him, by his side.
But you were a fucking matchmaker. You didn’t have any business being in a government setting, and you knew that. He knew that. The entire government knew that. 
Sometimes it wasn’t even dinner. Sometimes, he wasn’t even in the city. Or the state. Or even the fucking country. Bucky always let you know in advance when he had to travel for work, but there was usually never any chance for the two of you to meet for even a brief look at each other across the road. Just to see each other in person before he had to hop on the plane and head hours away from you.
On the rare occasions Bucky had a free night, you most certainly did not. You had a proposal to plan for. Not a policy or business proposal like he worked on. A marriage proposal. One that had you sneaking around parks in bushes, setting up trails of rose petals, hiring and arguing with musicians– things that you didn’t need your boyfriend around to trail you like a lost puppy asking you if there was something that you needed help with. 
If it wasn’t a proposal, you had another work event. A client on the verge of a breakdown because their date cancelled on them, or some bullshit like that. You would be so close to finally being in your boyfriend’s arms, but you would have to cancel on your own lover to play therapist even though you were severely undereducated and underpaid for the position. 
Bucky was understanding. Too understanding. So understanding that it made you want to bash your head into the wall. 
The two of you had working hours that were strenuous, strange, and demanding. 
Bucky hated his phone, but he still texted you often. Texted you good morning and good night every single day. He reminded you to eat at least twice a day knowing you were only running on the fuel of your own brain to make it through your work hours.
Absence definitely did not make the heart grow fonder. If anything, your heart was growing irritated. Angry. These happy couples around you were pissing you off. 
Each and every single one of your clients that reported to you that they were falling in love with the person that you set them up with, was like another person setting you up for failure. You were a ticking time bomb just ready to explode, and the only one who would ever be able to defuse you is currently locked away in his office with his pretty fucking secretary that you know he doesn’t care about, but spends more time with than you do. 
You’re not jealous of her perse. 
You’ve seen them work together. It’s strictly professional. You don’t know if she has a boyfriend, and you don’t really care if she does or doesn’t– you trust Bucky, bottom line. He hasn’t given you a single reason to not trust him. You know he has eyes for you and you only. What you’re envious of is the time that she gets to have with him. She sees him every single day. She handles his schedule, hands him coffee, speaks to him face to face, sits with him during meetings, and discusses his fucking policies with him. 
You’re jealous of the time that you don’t get to have with your own boyfriend. You haven’t seen him in over a week and a half by this point. Last time you saw him, it was for a brief lunch that lasted forty-two minutes before you both had to run into meetings. Before that, two weeks. 
You scratch angrily into your notebook, then rip the page out. You crumple it up, throwing the wasted piece of paper into the bin with a frustrated groan before scrubbing a hand down your face. 
The time on the clock reads 1:44am.
Bucky should be getting home by this time, you think. Your phone hasn’t rang otherwise. There’s no good night text yet. 
This was easier before. Easier before you got so attached to him. Easier before your world got shifted on its axis, and started to rotate around him, just a little bit. Easier when you didn’t love the man so fucking much. 
You couldn’t dwell on this though. Not when you had to go to sleep. You had somewhere to be tomorrow, and you couldn’t look like death itself. You sent off your own text to him, then let your sorrows and loneliness cuddle you to bed. 
As much as you wanted to wait for him to text you back, you couldn’t. You had a battlefield to get to. A networking event. A bride to maybe convince that she wanted to marry her groom. 
By the end of the wedding, your purse was full of business cards, and your lips were full of promises to call women on Monday to get them on your books as clients. Your face muscles hurt, your feet ached, and your heart was breaking.
Your phone was full of notifications, and not a single one of them was from your loving boyfriend. Did he get JFK’d somewhere? He couldn’t have. It would have been all over the news already if he did. Sam would have called you, too. Besides that, the serum in his veins would have him feeling the murderous intent from a thousand miles away.
You were pretty certain that he wasn’t joking when he said that he assassinated JFK, too. Except, you were drunk when he confessed that to you during a drinking game that you two were doing when you first started dating. You don’t know if you dreamt it. Bucky refuses to comment, like a true politician.
You make it through the rest of the wedding, get invited to the afterparty, decline, and step out into the street to wait for your Uber to arrive. A car pulls up to the curb that you know is not a silver hatchback like the app indicates, so you ignore it–
“What’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone on a Friday night?”
Your head snaps up at the voice. Bucky’s stepping out of the driver’s side, holding a colorful arrangement of fresh summer flowers for you, wrapped in kraft paper, tied off with a bow. He’s dressed in a formal suit– bowtie and everything. You vaguely remember him telling you that there was a gala event that was happening tonight the last time that you two had a chance to speak on the phone. He must have had a chance to slip away from there. 
“Need a ride?” he asked, feet stopping just right before you.
You let out a laugh, looking up at him. You take a moment to admire him. Bucky’s smiling at you. There’s so much love in his eyes for you. There always is. In fact, it seemed as if there was more love there than there was than the last time he saw you. You were certain that there would be double the amount the next time you would meet.
“I have one,” you sighed, deciding to play coy with him. “Coming in about five more minutes.”
Bucky clicked his tongue, shaking his head. “Five minutes? That’s too long. Shouldn’t make you wait out here for even a second.”
You couldn’t fight back the grin that makes its way onto your face. You close the remaining distance between the two of you, your hand resting on his chest as you lean upwards towards him to meet his lips. Bucky’s hand wraps around your back, holding you to him to stabilize you, a small sigh escaping through his nose. 
“Hi, handsome,” you hummed, parting from him. 
Your smile only widened a little more when Bucky chased after your lips instinctively, wanting more. Wanting another kiss. You gave him just a couple more pecks before you settled the heels of your shoes back onto the cement of the sidewalk. A laugh rumbled through you at the disappointed look on his face.
“How’d you know where my wedding was, Congressman?” you asked, looking back at your phone to cancel the ride. 
“Oh you know. A birdie told me,” Bucky said, shrugging as he moved to open the passenger door for you.
“You had Redwing spy on me?’ you raised an eyebrow at him, stepping into the car..
“More like I had Sam send a trail on you tonight. Don’t know if he used Redwing,” he corrected, holding the flowers out for you to take. 
You rolled your eyes at him as you took the bouquet. He was messing with you, and you knew it. You shared your location with him on your phone a long time ago, and he only just figured out how to use the function of it a few months back. He was even shocked to find out that there was such a feature so easily accessible on regular technology. Bucky even asked you if you had his location. You didn’t, and you told him that you didn’t want it. You figured he would be weirded out by that kind of stuff as a former spy, and you were right. He was more at ease after your reassurance. 
However, he did enjoy the fact that he didn’t have to go through several satellite feeds and camera playbacks to find where you were.
In the car, the music is soft. Low. Something from the forties that you don’t really listen to unless you’re with Bucky. He’s tapping his finger on the steering wheel to the beat of the song, and you find yourself relaxing into the comfortable leather of the seat. 
Neither of you are speaking, nor do you find the need to. 
Bucky knows you. You’re exhausted after an event like this. He used to ask you how the job went, like a mission debrief. To you, it is a mission. This was your battlefield, and you just fought against enemies and kept your cool against a thousand different obstacles that could’ve made the mission go sideways.
He learned over time that you just wanted silence, the same way that he did. Bucky used to think that you wanted to talk after these events, which wasn’t totally wrong. You talked if the event went horribly wrong and you needed to vent your frustration out to someone that wouldn’t get you fired. You talked his ear off because you couldn’t say what you wanted to in front of your own clients.
Bucky misunderstood and thought you wanted to talk after every single event. Eventually, he realized that most of the time, you enjoyed the peace and quiet of a job well done. That you wanted to sit without having to force a smile anymore, to close your eyes, and feel the weight of his hand on your thigh comfortingly as he drove. 
The sound of a text message coming through cut off the music momentarily. Your eyes cracked open, and on the center screen of Bucky’s dashboard, you saw there was a message from Bucky’s one and only friend.
Don’t Respond [12:08am]: Did she find out what you’re doing yet?
“What’s Sam talking about?” you asked, shifting to reach for Bucky’s phone that was in the cupholder. 
Bucky was faster. His hand left your thigh, grabbing the device before you could. He looked at the small screen momentarily, taking his eyes off the road for just a second. Then, you watched as he long pressed the side of his phone, turning it off completely before putting it back in the cupholder.
“Nothing, sweetheart. I’ll text him back later,” Bucky said, giving you a smile before looking back at the road. His hand returned back to its rightful place on your thigh. 
You stared at the side of his face, blinking at him. There was no more music in the car, since his phone was turned off. You were left in silence, just the low thrum of the engine and your thoughts being your only source of entertainment as Bucky turned into your apartment’s parking garage.
Bucky will text him back later? Bucky will text him back later?
No the fuck he won’t. 
As much as Bucky loves new technology like a nerd loves Star Wars, he hates it all at the same time. He thinks it’s disgusting for any sane person to spend the amount of time they do glued to their phones willingly outside of educational and work purposes. He’s a man that had zero choice in life, and he prefers to see the world. If he has free time, there is no way in hell that he will waste it typing away on a tiny screen to text back anyone. 
Except you, of course. He’ll only text and call you.
His reaction was even more strange. Bucky didn’t swat your hand away or anything like that. He didn’t scramble to get to his phone before you did– but he did react. He didn’t answer you. He deflected. He’s always answered your questions to the fullest.
Besides that, this wasn’t anything new between the two of you. You always texted Sam back through Bucky’s phone. When Sam texted, you would read it out loud, Bucky would answer, and you would type what Bucky said, but in a nicer… less aggressive way. In fact, 99% of the conversations Bucky had with Sam through text was done by you. Sam still did not know of that fact, and you were not going to be the one to tell him. 
You’re still reeling in your own thoughts by the time you get to your apartment. 
You shove your downward spiral for just a moment to accept Bucky’s extremely tempting offer to shower together– which is never anything sexual. 
Bucky enjoys the intimacy of being able to hold you, bare, and help you get cleaned from your day. It’s one of his favorite things to do. You revel in the way he takes his time, hands scrubbing at your scalp slowly to lather up the shampoo. He’ll ensure that not a single part of your body goes untouched.
You do the same for him. You take great care in every part of his body. You remember the first time you touched his scars– paid close attention to them. It looked self-inflicted. Nothing like a surgery or done by doctors or scientists, like how he said the arm was attached to him. When you saw his face, you knew you were right.
Every once in a while, you can still see the dark shadow casting over his eyes when your hands run over his shoulders. You simply move to kiss against the scars to quietly remind him that you aren’t afraid of him, and you watch as the shadows fall mercy to the light.
You finish your own skincare routine faster than he does, as per usual. 
“I don’t understand why the hell I have to do this, doll,” he grumbled as you left the bathroom. “I’m over a century old.”
“And I’m trying to make sure that you don’t look like it,” you replied over your shoulder. 
Bucky huffed, but continued with the routine that you strictly put him on. He complained, but he never went against your words. You knew that he was still following it even when he wasn’t spending the night at your place, too. He’s always been a handsome man, but you would say that he’s been leveled up even more since you came around.
While he’s distracted, you move towards his bag. 
You don’t distrust him, but you’re not stupid either. Turning off his phone, saying things out of character– yeah. Something is different. What’s even weirder is that he doesn’t have any of his usual things with him. There’s only his laptop. He doesn’t have any of his regular written notebooks or calendars that he usually carries around with him. The man loves his written, visual items. He likes to flip through pages and see things with his own eyes, to be able to edit with a pen instead of a tap of his fingers.
You hear the last cap of the bottle close, and shut his bag. You’re only left with more questions as you move his bag towards the hanger where your own purses hang.
“Ah– sorry,” Bucky apologized, seeing you move his stuff. 
“It’s alright,” you hummed, thankful you were able to play off your snooping.
The two of you move towards your bed, sliding under the sheets. You settled into his arms naturally, assuming the position that the two of you had found most comfortable in the almost two years of dating. Your head rested on his bicep like it was a pillow, his metal arm coming around you to wrap around your waist to keep you cool against his furnace of a body. 
“You ever respond to Sam?” you whispered into his chest, closing your eyes to snuggle closer into him.
“Fuck,” Bucky groaned, moving to grab his phone from the nightstand behind him. You immediately shifted, just slightly– to try and see the screen.
But so did he.
With one hand, he angled his phone so that it was distorted. The brightness was down low enough that you weren’t able to properly see the messages between both men. However, you saw him silence the chat. You saw the swipe of his thumb, and the icon that signified a silenced message.
Then, Bucky put his phone face down on the nightstand before returning to you.
“Good night, doll,” he murmured to you, hand moving to tilt your head up to him. He kissed you once, twice, a third time before settling back against the pillow. “I love you.”
“Night,” you whispered back, though your mind was everything but asleep. Suspicion was creeping up on you. You could feel it– the sign of something coming. You pushed your gut feeling down. “I love you, too.”
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Bucky ❤︎ [2:48pm]: What days do you think are your most free days right now?
You paused, staring at the text on your screen. This is different. This isn’t a text that you normally received from Bucky. Especially not in the middle of the work day, either. Momentarily, you want to entertain the idea that someone stole his phone, but you were certain that someone would be injured or dying if they even got close to ever trying to rob Bucky.
Me [2:50pm]: Are you asking me on a date, Congressman?
Bucky ❤︎ [2:53pm]: I’m trying to plan one instead of our random spontaneous ones, yes. Can you let me know what days work best for you so I can look at my calendar?
Last time he ‘planned’ a date, the two of you went to Romania for your first year anniversary for a week. You didn’t even realize that’s what he meant by planning a date until you were at the fucking airport with no luggage. Except he packed for you, had your passport, and everything else you could possibly need. You were just completely oblivious to the entire thing. 
Me [2:54pm]: Is this a trip kinda date?
Bucky ❤︎ [2:55pm]: No, but I do need two days of your time.
Me [2:56pm]: You’re asking for a lot, handsome.
Bucky ❤︎ [3:01pm]: I promise I’ll be worth it.
You smile at your phone at his words. Of course he’ll be worth it. You take a moment to go through your calendar, flipping back and forth between all your different events. You cross check between client meetings, event plannings, meetings with your coworkers and boss, and then text him back with your response. 
Me [3:12pm]: Weekends are really bad right now. Mondays, too. Wednesdays are also surprisingly bad… Tuesdays and Thursdays are the best. Fridays are a hit and miss.
Bucky ❤︎ [3:25pm]: Tuesdays are bad for me. Rep. dinners on Tuesday nights and Wednesday morning debriefs. Can you block out Thursday and Friday for me two months from now? The 17th and 18th. I’ll give you more details about our date when it comes closer.
Two months? That’s more than enough time to block out. You’ll even take the weekend off for good measure, just in case. Still, two months is a long time to prepare for just a date. You can’t help but tease him a little bit.
Me [3:27pm]: You don’t plan on seeing me for two months? :( 
Bucky ❤︎ [3:30pm]: You’re funny. We’ll still have our random and spontaneous dates. Like tonight. I’m picking you up for dinner. Don’t call a ride after work.
Excitement flutters in your chest. You saw him four days ago, but you’re still happy. 
Time is thankfully on your side today, and he’s waiting for you outside your company’s building. You’re starved for food, for his affection, attention, and everything in between. 
Except all of that dies once his phone rings in the middle of dinner. Bucky silences it, and you see the screen. It has a name that you don’t recognize, then his phone goes faced down onto the table. A few moments later, it buzzes, indicating there was a voicemail left. Bucky swipes the device, pocketing it safely away. 
You’re really trying to not let this bother you. But change doesn’t just happen overnight, and this is Bucky’s personal phone. This isn’t even his work phone. He leaves his work phone in his bag, permanently silenced when he’s not working. This is his phone that he carries with him that he purposely ignores, that is only supposed to have two contacts in it– yours and Sams.
Bucky drove back to your apartment, even though his apartment is closer to the restaurant that he chose for the two of you to eat at tonight. 
You’re lying awake in his arms that night, listening to the sounds of Bucky’s soft snores as he sleeps beside you. It took him a long time to be able to sleep first between the two of you. You used to see how long you could stay up, to see if you could fall asleep after him. The first time he fell asleep on your lap, you almost cried.
Now, you’re staring at his sleeping face wondering if he thinks you’re a fucking idiot. 
The signs are right there. All the blaring signs are screaming in your face, loud and angry. The hidden phone screen, calls, and texts. Hiding his calendar, and all his written notes from you. The sudden trip planning, even though there was nothing special about two months from now. Two months was your twenty third month together. Not even the second year anniversary. 
Yeah, Bucky thought you were stupid.
The biggest sign? You’re currently sleeping in your own bed, and not in his. He’s hiding something in his apartment that he doesn’t want you to find—
An engagement ring. 
You go through Bucky’s drawers like those are your own clothes to wear because they are, and he loves to see you in his shirts. You once spent an entire weekend properly organizing his apartment in a way that made sense because his junk drawer consisted of bullets and lego pieces from when Sam’s nephews came over.
You once found guns and daggers in his apartment just by dropping pens and searching for them. There’s absolutely no way that Bucky can hide a velvet box anywhere in his apartment from you that you won’t accidentally stumble across. Hell– you found a loaded nine millimeter in your own apartment, and asked what the hell it was doing there. 
“Safety,” is all he answered with.
This was your job. This is what you did for a living. You helped other boyfriends hide proposals from girlfriends like this. This is exactly what you did– this is how you told them to do it, though you were a little more slick with it. You definitely made sure your clients weren’t hiding their phones from their potential fiance’s, that’s for sure. 
You made sure that your clients did not know that they were being proposed to. It was your mission, honestly. You saw enough of those TikTok’s where women truly had that gut feeling where they knew it was happening. You refused. It needed to be a surprise. You scouted out every single person in your client’s lives to ensure that every single moment would come to be a surprise. From ensuring that their nails would be done to the ring itself- everything would be perfect. 
Your boyfriend of almost two years was planning on proposing to you in two months, and he thought you wouldn’t find out? Jesus Christ– what were you going to do with him?
Marry him, you supposed.
If you were anyone else, if you were any less stable in your emotions, you would’ve thought he was cheating on you. Hiding his phone definitely made your eyebrow twitch for half a second, if you were being honest. Thankfully, you were able to maintain a rational and sane mind.
Sane was an overstatement. You were now planning an entire wedding in your head without the engagement ring on your finger. You were anything but sane. Insanity was taking over every single cell in your brain as you stared at Bucky, imagining your future. The thought made you extremely giddy. 
A smile crept up on the corner of your lips as you moved into the warmth of his embrace. His arms tightened around you instinctively, and he let out a soft, contented sigh.
You can’t keep it to yourself as the date starts coming closer and closer. 
Mel, who has graduated as your client and now has become your friend, is sitting in your apartment, telling you about her most recent date with her boyfriend of six months. Not in a way that she would when you were her matchmaker, but as friends would. You find yourself liking this arrangement much, much more.
“Enough about me though,” she grinned, swirling the wine in her glass. “Tell me about you and Bucky. How are things going?”
“You really wanna talk about the guy that your boss hates?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at her as you take a sip out of your own glass.
“I can separate work from girl talk,” Mel said, smiling at you. 
“Well,” you said, smiling at her, “If you’re free the rest of the evening, I was wondering if you wanted to get your nails done with me?”
“Nails?” Mel repeated, raising her eyebrows at you as she brought the glass to her lips.
“Yeah,” you nodded. “I think Bucky’s gonna propose to me on Thursday.”
Her eyes widened as she choked on her wine, the alcohol spluttering back into the glass. You couldn’t hold back a laugh before you jumped to your feet. You turned, rushing to grab paper towels from your kitchen to wipe off her face before it dripped, and stained her clothes. 
“Shit– shit! I’m so sorry,” she coughed, patting her face. 
“It’s okay,” you said between laughter, desperately trying to compose yourself. “Do you– do you want more wine?”
“Do I want– No! What? We need to go to the salon now! One of us needs to drive! Why the hell don’t you have a car again?!”
“Uh… I just… order a ride everywhere, or Bucky drives me,” you answered her, sheepish. “I’ll just order us a ride, we’ve both had a glass already. We don’t need to drive there, Mel.”
“Must be nice–”
A knock on your door makes you both pause. You move, going to check the peephole and find your boyfriend standing there with a box in his hands. You rip the door open, shocked.
“Bucky?” you asked, surprised. “Don’t you have a dinner to get to soon? It’s Tuesday.” 
“Yes, but I wanted to drop this off to you,” he said, giving you a smile. He leaned over the box, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. “Just a present. Saw it, thought it would look nice on you.”
“What is it?” you asked as he transferred over the gift box to you.
“A dress,” he shrugged. “What are you up to today?”
“Mel’s here,” you said, opening the door further so he could see her. He looked past you, giving her a small wave that you’re certain that she returned back. “We’re about to go get our nails done. I was about to order a ride.”
“Oh? Don’t do that. I’ll just drop you two off. You’ll go the place you always do, right? It’s on the way to the dining hall,” he said.
“What? I don’t want you to be late,” you said, frowning at him. 
“It’s fine,” Bucky insisted, shaking his head. “They can start without me. Talbot is late more than a few times anyways.”
“It’s true,” Mel said from behind you. You turned around to look at her, finding that she was gathering her jacket and purse. “Talbot is always late.”
“See? Thank you, Mel.” There’s a bit of a gloating tone to his voice that makes you smack his arm. Bucky chuckled in response, a smile settling over his face. “Come on now, grab your stuff so we can get down to the car so I’m not too late for the meeting.”
You sighed, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to change his mind and get him to leave you. You put the box on the counter to inspect once you return later, and snatch your purse from where it’s resting on the table. Both you and Mel follow Bucky down to the car. He holds open the back door for both of you to climb into the backseat like he’s your chauffeur, and not your boyfriend.
Bucky drives in silence, you and Mel scrolling through pinterest hurriedly during the car ride for inspiration pictures for your nails while trying to be subtle about the fact that you know that you’re getting proposed to. Your boyfriend doesn’t seem to notice that you know, though.
Once he pulls up to the salon, Mel thanks him for the ride and slides out. You lean over the console to give him a kiss, and he grabs your hand, stopping you.
His card is slid into your palm, and his lips are pressed against your knuckles.
“I’ll pay for you and Mel,” he said, giving you one more smile.
You want to race down the aisle right at that moment. 
Instead, you get your nails done with Mel, swallow down butterflies that are forcing their way up your throat, and get to the restaurant that Bucky told you to meet him at while he runs late at his last meeting before your date. 
It’s a beautiful skyline restaurant in the middle of New York that your own company can’t even secure a date at. You’ve tried multiple times. In fact, your own clients have wanted to get proposals done at this restaurant. It just couldn’t be done. Reservations were booked out at least a year in advance, and somehow Bucky was able to secure the two of you a spot with two months to spare. 
There’s live music playing here by world renowned musicians. The chefs are even more well known. The lighting was low so that it wouldn’t take away from the view outside the windows. The time of night that Bucky chose was perfect– New York was lit up like stars on the ground from the table that you were sitting at. 
You were dressed in the gift Bucky bought for you. A backless, square neckline gown. The straps came up and wrapped around your neck like a halter top would, and tied around the back in a thin bow, the long straps kissing down your bare spine. It was soft and airy against your skin. 
Bucky arrived earlier than you expected, but you were sure he was still later than he wanted to be. Either way, he still had another bouquet of fresh flowers in his hands for you that you two had placed under the table. Of course, he didn’t take a seat before giving you a kiss for a greeting, and murmuring his apology for not being able to pick you up.
“You look beautiful,” he said, smiling at you. “I didn’t think you would wear it tonight.”
“I thought you bought it for me to wear tonight?” you asked as he placed the flowers under the table. You watched as he sat down across from you. 
“Mm… Well, I bought it for you to wear,” he said, reaching his hand across the table. You easily slipped your hand into his, watching him bring your hand to his lips to press a kiss to your knuckles. “When you wear it doesn’t matter to me. I just wanted to get you a present.”
“A present?” you echoed, unable to stop smiling. “Even though you already do so much for me?”
“Doesn’t mean I can’t want to do more for you, sweetheart,” he hummed. 
The waiter came by not a moment later, letting you know that the first course would be coming out momentarily. You both thanked him, and returned back to each other. 
“I feel like I don’t see you as much these days,” Bucky said, thumbs brushing over your knuckles. 
“It’s been really busy for the two of us,” you agreed, releasing a soft sigh. 
“I even contemplated hiring you as a matchmaker again, just so I could block out meetings and have you in my office again,” he joked, making you laugh. 
“That would be fraudulent, Congressman,” you teased, shaking your head. “For you and me.”
“What are they gonna do? Threaten to fire you again?” 
You rolled your eyes, but the smile on your face is firmly planted, and isn’t moving anytime soon. 
“You know our dates don’t always have to be somewhere big or fancy, right?” you tell him, your voice softer.
“So you keep telling me,” he hummed, squeezing your hand a little bit. “I know, sweetheart. You said this to me. Several times. I just want to do this for you. For me, too.”
You soften a little bit at his words. You’re gently reminded of a previous confession he told you from when you first started dating. 
You told him that you were more than happy to just get takeout with him on busier days. To get fast food or something quick, if it meant that you two would have more time to spend together. You didn’t always have to sit down and eat somewhere nice. He said that he knew that, and he liked doing that, too. But as a kid in the forties, he always wanted to be the kind of man that was able to spoil his girl rotten– to bring his woman to the best places and sign the check without batting an eye.
This kind of thing was healing for him, too.
“We can get burgers tomorrow,” Bucky said, giving you a smile. 
“Deal,” you grinned at him. 
The first course of your meal was brought out to the two of you. You two never spoke about work over food. It was your rule. You talked about everything else. Sam. Mel. Your parents and siblings. The conversation Bucky overheard while he was in line getting coffee the other day. 
There was always a lot to talk about when you two never saw each other. Then again, you were certain that you would ever run out of words even if you spent every waking moment with him. If there ever came to be a time when that was the case, you were more than happy to spend the rest of eternity in a peaceful silence with him, as long as you were able to hold him. 
Topics never ran dry between the two of you. More than once, you two needed to remind yourselves to shut the fuck up in this fancy establishment because there were sophisticated people around you having very nice meals. 
“I’ll book a private room next time,” Bucky said under his breath.
“I don’t think they’ll let us come back, babe,” you whispered between soft, gasping laughs. “The host is glaring at us.”
That only made Bucky snort, which made you have to cover your own mouth in return before another fit of giggles wrecked through your body. It took everything in the both of you to compose yourselves before dessert was brought out. 
Once your table was cleared off, and you were left with just your wine glasses and the centerpiece on the table, you and Bucky smiled at each other. You were strangely reminded of your first date with him. So you told him that.
“This reminds you of our first date?” he said, his nose crinkling just slightly. “How so?”
“Mm… The ambiance,” you said, shrugging just a bit. You rested your chin in your palm. “You. Me.”
“It’s always you and me on our dates, sweethearts. Who else would it be?” he sarcastically joked, rolling his eyes at you.
“You know what I mean,” you scoffed at him, watching him smile a bit. “I just… feel a bit nostalgic. Just a… who knew, kinda thing.”
“I knew,” Bucky said, making you pause for a second.
“You knew?” you repeated his words, raising an eyebrow at him. Your heart picked up speed just a little bit. This felt like the start of a speech– the start to the speech.
Bucky cleared his throat, and your chest grew tighter at the sound. He shifted in his seat, and you watched as his hand dipped into his pocket. Oh, shit. It’s coming. Your eyes shot back to his face, and your mouth went dry.
“I thought you were the matchmaker, sweetheart. You didn’t know that we would end up together?” he clicked his tongue at you. “I knew I couldn’t trust a matchmaker that didn’t have a boyfriend of her own.”
“I have a boyfriend now, don’t I?” you asked, but thought– Not for long.
He smiled, eyes meeting yours. Then, a velvet box is produced. Placed right on the table in front of you. You can’t bring yourself to look down at it, not when Bucky is still looking at you.
“I want to spend the rest of my days with you. And it’s getting really fucking hard when I can’t see you all the time because we both live on opposite sides of the city, and have awful work schedules that keep us apart. Even so, I love you so much and I can’t imagine being with anyone else,” he confessed to you. Bucky takes in a deep breath that slightly shakes before he whispers out your name, nervous, “Will you move in with me?”
You freeze.
What the fuck?
“Move in with you?” you echoed, blinking.
Bucky opens the box. It’s a key. A shiny, silver key.
“I bought a penthouse in Manhattan,” Bucky said, sliding the box over to you to inspect the key even closer. “I want to see you more often. Not just the random dates when we both have time– I want to sleep next to you every night, and wake up to you in the mornings.”
“A penthouse… In Manhattan,” you said slowly. 
Your brain was short circuiting. In fact, it was fried. Gone.  You were still staring at the key, lips parted. He… wasn’t proposing to you tonight?
“I’m sorry. Am I– Are we moving too fast?” Bucky suddenly asked you, and you could hear the panic in his voice. 
Your head snapped up to look at him. His eyebrows were furrowed in worry, eyes scanning all over your face. You slapped yourself mentally. You could only imagine how you looked just now– staring at him and the key with a blank look on your face, and giving him no answer.
“What? No! No, Bucky– we’re not moving too fast at all,” you reassured him, hands darting across the table to take his hands in yours. “Most couples our age move in together by the first year or so. Mel and her boyfriend are already planning on moving in together when Mel’s lease breaks in a couple months.”
Bucky lets out a breath of relief, and you watch as his shoulders drop. You feel guilt surge through you at the pure stress that is released from his body at that moment.
“God– I just… You know, the penthouse… It’s fully furnished. I’ve been– Sam has been helping me out, actually. He helped me meet with some realtors, get the place fully furnished and decorated,” Bucky said, dragging a hand down his face. “I’ve been living there for the past two and a half months while waiting for all the furniture to come in, and it’s finally all finished as of yesterday and it never occurred to me that you could possibly say no until just now.”
“You’ve been– Is that why you take me back to my apartment after our dates? Instead of yours?” you asked, surprised.
“I already got rid of my other place, sweetheart,” he said, giving you a small, anxious smile. You can see him bouncing his leg up and down just slightly. “Got the penthouse so that we could have enough space for your stuff and mine.”
“You took me out to a fancy dinner, and prepared a speech for me to ask me to move in with you?” you whispered, your heart feeling fuller by the minute.
“I grew up in a time where couples didn’t move in together until after they were married, doll,” Bucky reminded you, his voice small and soft. 
You’re speechless, for just a moment. You take your eyes off of him, to look down at the key in the box, a smile finding its way on your face. You look back up at him, watching as he mirrors your own smile.
“I think it’s time to head home, Congressman.”
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Bucky trails behind you quietly as you step into the penthouse. The elevator directly leads to your home– something that you had only ever seen in movies before. You barely took a step into the rest of the home before you were running numbers into your head.
“What’s my share of the bills?” you asked, heart racing as you look up at the high ceilings. “And don’t you dare tell me not to worry about it, Bucky. If we’re living together, then we’re splitting bills. I don’t care that you make more money than me–”
“We’ll talk about finances later, baby,” he cut you off, hands rubbing your shoulders to soothe you. “We’ll split it equally based on our incomes. Just go explore for right now.”
“I don’t know if I can afford this, Bucky,” you said, turning around to look at him. You were freaking out.
“Your salary was put into play when I got this place,” he said, cradling your face. “Sam and I met with the banks. We met with financial advisors to ensure that this would be feasible for both you and me. Please don’t ask how we got your information.”
“Is there a loan–”
“There’s no loan,” he assured you. “Do you trust me?”
“I do,” you answered instantly. 
Bucky gave you a smile, then pressed a kiss to your lips. You melted into his embrace, feeling your worries wash away with just one touch. He wrapped his arms around you, rubbing your back comfortingly. When he pulled away, another kiss was pressed to your forehead. 
“I’ll give you all the documents later to look over. If you still hate it, then we’ll break the lease, and we’ll find somewhere else. I don’t care where we live. I just want to be somewhere that’s with you,” he promised. 
“Okay,” you breathed, nodding. 
Bucky’s hands leave your body, and he steps away from you. He’s quietly urging you to take a look around. 
You had two floors to explore. The elevator opened up the first floor, where there was an open concept condo. You were staring at a living room, kitchen, floor to ceiling windows, and there were built-in shelves on the wall that held Bucky’s books– and had empty spaces for your own books. Down here, there were two doors– one leading to a half bath and the other leading to a home office. 
You saw two desks, separated by a bookshelf. Bucky’s desk was already occupied with his things, while yours was empty and waiting to be used. On the shelf were pictures and other momentos collected by Bucky over the duration of your relationship so far. There was space for you to decorate with whatever you pleased. On the other end of the room was a daybed and some other furniture to cozy up the area. 
Upstairs, there was a platform for another lounge area. Also furnished to hang out in case the two of you ever had any guests come over. Here, your bedroom was behind a closed door. 
A king sized bed was in the middle of the room, along with two nightstands on either side of it. There was a full walk in closet, Bucky already having his stuff hanging on his side with yours waiting to be filled. The windows are touching the floor just like they are outside, and Bucky has the curtains pulled back so you can see the city lights from your bedroom window. 
“What if I get fired?” you whispered, Bucky’s arms wrapping around your waist from behind. “I won’t be able to pay my share of the bills.”
“I’ll pay then,” he said, pressing kisses to your bare shoulder and neck.
“What if you get fired? Or what if you quit? Join Sam and return back to action?” you asked, heart racing. 
Bucky chuckled against your neck, squeezing you against him. 
“Iron Man’s late wife donates a large portion every year to the heroes that do the work. If that’s me, then we’ll be fine,” he promised you. “It’s how Sam gets paid right now.”
“Oh,” you breathed, nodding a little dumbly. You tilted your head to the side, allowing him more access to more skin. You felt him smile against you. 
“You like the place then?”
“I can’t believe you hid this from me.”
“I hide you from the entire American government so you can continue to walk the streets of New York without being asked about politics that you don’t care about. I hid Romania from you. I think I can hide an apartment,” he listed off, scoffing softly at the end.
All of your hair is gathered in one of his hands to get it out of his way as he continues to press dizzying, nipping kisses against your body.
“A penthouse,” you managed to correct.
“Same thing,” he muttered, and you felt him tug on the string of your dress. A moment later, the soft fabric was sliding down your body, and pooling at your feet, “C’mon, sweetheart. We gotta christen the place.”
You’re being turned around to face him, and your arms move to slide up his chest and wrap around his neck. Bucky’s lips met yours in an opened mouthed kiss halfway, tongue gliding over yours easily. 
Your eyes fluttered shut, and you sighed into his mouth, feeling his hands glide up and down the sides of your body. Something about him being fully dressed, and you with nearly nothing at all did something to the both of you.
Your fingers grabbed onto the collar of his dress shirt, tugging him into a deeper, needier kiss. Bucky groaned into your mouth in response, hands finding purchase on the flesh of your ass. His fingers dug into the supple skin, making you moan softly as he groped you.
Your boyfriend gently pushed you until your back was pressed against the window. Once you were situated where he wanted you, Bucky parted from your lips, only to attach himself to your neck once again. He kept shifting, moving down to your collarbones, your chest, your sternum. Lower. 
You watched helplessly, every inch of you thrumming with desire and need as Bucky slowly shifted to his knees in front of you. His hands moved down your body, dragging your underwear down your legs as he positioned himself to sit back on his feet, thighs spread just a bit for comfort. You’re certain your breathing was erratic as you stared at him.
Usually, you were the one on your knees for Bucky. This was different– this was new. You were more than certain that you would still be the one at his mercy.
“Don’t your feet hurt in these heels?” Bucky asked, hand closing around one of your ankles to lift your foot off the ground slightly. “They look uncomfortable. Very tall.”
“It’s not too bad,” you whispered, unable to trust your voice to speak any louder. “I like these shoes.”
“I bought them for you,” he said, tilting his head as he examined the design a little closer.
“That’s why I like them,” you murmured.
Bucky chuckled just a little bit, shaking his head. He moved slowly on purpose, undoing the strap around your ankle and slowly pulling it off of your foot like you were some sort of princess. He gently led your foot back down to the floor, keeping an eye on your posture to make sure you didn’t suddenly fall from the shift in height. When he was certain that you were stable, he switched over to the next foot, repeating the same process.
Except, he didn’t put your foot back onto the ground. Bucky lifted your leg higher, pressing a kiss to the inside of your ankle, eyes closing as he did. When they opened, he met your gaze, never looking away as his kisses went higher and higher up your leg. He settled your knee to hook around his shoulder, moving to fully kneel before you as his hands went to grab your waist, keeping you pressed against the glass behind you. A firm, tight grip. 
You wouldn’t be able to run from whatever he was about to do to you. Not that you would ever want to.
If he wasn’t holding you up, you were certain you would’ve folded over and collapsed the second his tongue met your heat. The vibrations from the groan sent shockwaves through your entire body that made you tremble above him, hands darting to grab onto his shoulders for an extra form of stability as his tongue parted your folds and flattened against you.
“Shit, Bucky,” you moaned, your mind going blank. All you could feel was him. 
His tongue dipping just slightly in and out of your aching hole, only to drag up to your sensitive clit to swirl figure eights around the nub. Bucky’s hands on your torso, his thumbs  drawing circles into your skin to soothe you against the stimulation he was giving you. The heat of his body radiating against yours from where he was positioned beneath you. 
“Your pussy is squeezing around nothing, baby,” he murmured, pulling away from your core for just a moment, a whine ripping through your throat in response. Bucky clicked his tongue at you, and kissed the inside of your thigh to subdue you. “Have I been neglecting you? Not fucking you enough for you to be so needy?”
Definitely not. Maybe it was the fact that everything was crashing down on you. The fact Bucky went so far to secure the two of you an entire home without you knowing, furnishing the whole place, meeting with financial advisors– all of it made you incredibly desperate for him. 
It was like that one time when you watched him do the dishes for the first time at the beginning of your relationship. He was at your apartment, doing your dishes that you were too lazy to do before he came over. You don’t know what the hell happened to you at that moment, but you just watched him. The second the water turned off, you were unzipping his pants and giving him head. It confused him, but he also wasn’t complaining. 
“I’m always needy for you,” you barely managed to answer him.
Bucky’s lips parted, eyes scanning your figure above him for a few moments. Then, one of his hands left your waist, and two fingers were shoved into you without a single warning. 
A moan ripped through your throat, and you weren’t given a chance to even recover before his mouth was back on your clit, sucking and flicking at the sensitive nub. His fingers entered and exited you at a delicious speed, and he could feel you coming apart around him. Your body was beginning to tremble, walls beginning to shake– and he curled his fingers the way he knew you liked.
You came undone, Bucky’s hand moving to press against your stomach to keep you from collapsing forward. Your chest rose and fell in uneven breaths as you whimpered his name, tugging on his hair weakly to pull away from your overstimulated body. 
Reluctantly, he released you. Bucky’s hands never left you as he stood, keeping you upright. Your legs were still shaking when you had both feet on the ground, but fuck if you were going to let Bucky stay dressed. 
You had every intention of returning the favor once Bucky was just as bare as you were. Bucky saw it in your eyes, too. The way your gaze dropped down his torso to his cock that was stiff and high up against his stomach, waiting for you. You barely moved your hair to the side before you were being spun back around, chest pressed to the glass– eyes to the view of the New York city skyline. 
“Next time, doll,” he promised, pressing a kiss to your shoulder blade that made you shiver. You let out a small moan as you felt him drag the length of his dick through your folds, coating himself in your slick to get him ready to enter. “Gotta be inside you right now or I might go insane.”
“Hurry up, then,” you whined to him, pressing your ass back further into him. A mistake, and you knew it. Not that it really was a mistake on your end though.
His hand came around from your stomach, gripping your throat and jaw, pulling you back into him. Your back was arched, hands resting on the glass for some sort of security in the position he had you in. Bucky forced your head to turn, to look at him. 
Bucky wanted to watch your face contort with pleasure as he finally slid in, watch as you fell apart as he speared you full with his cock. There was a look of satisfaction and fucking arrogance in his eyes with the way your mouth fell open in a noiseless moan. Bucky took advantage of it, shoving his tongue into your mouth to swallow up any of the noises that he knew would start coming once his hips started moving.
You couldn’t keep up– not with his kiss, not with the pacing– not with anything that was happening right now. His hips were snapping into yours at such a brutal pace, his metal hand gripping your hip to keep you in place, and you barely managed to pull away from his lips to breathe. 
“So good– so good,” he groaned as you turned back to the glass, chin falling to your chest for a moment as you moaned in response. 
Bucky didn’t let your head hang for too much longer. He pulled your head back up to look out the window, and you could feel his breath against your ear as he continued to pound his hips from behind you.
“Isn’t the view so nice, baby?” he whispered to you.
“Wh… what?” you moaned, mind spiraling for just a moment.
“It’s so nice,” he continued, grunting behind you, “I know your pussy loves it– loves it when I fuck you in front of all of New York to see.”
Excitement shoots through you, and you unexpectedly clamped around him. Bucky’s hips stuttered as he cursed softly. You were close– again– and Bucky wasn’t making this any better for you. Then again, you almost just brought Bucky over the edge with you.
“Shit. I knew you were a fucking freak when you tried giving me head in front of my coworkers,” Bucky muttered, a small laugh falling from his lips.
“Bucky,” you whimpered. “I’m so close–”
“It’s too bad. New York can’t have you,” he cut you off, pulling out of you. 
The sense of loss is immediate, but not for long. Once more, he’s spinning you around. This time, he’s hoisting you up like you weigh nothing at all. Your legs are wrapping around his waist immediately, and he’s sinking you back down on his length within seconds. 
Your lips are collided with Bucky as he’s fucking you against the window now, holding you up in his arms as you hang onto him for dear life. Your fingernails are digging into the muscles of his shoulders, scratching down his chest in a way that he once admitted that he loves, and you’re moaning into each other’s mouths.
The thrusts are growing sloppier as the kiss grows messier– there’s no need for words between the two of you anymore. You both know your tells at this point.
Bucky angles his hips just slightly to hit that one spot in you, forcing you over the edge as his own orgasm threatens to take him. Your body seizes, and you can’t kiss him back anymore. Bucky busies himself with your neck, leaving marks on your skin as he fucks you through your high, chasing his own that comes just moments later, coating your walls and dripping down onto the new floors of your new room together.
You’re still panting and trying to catch your breath, head dropped onto his shoulder when Bucky moves, carrying you to the bathroom to clean up. His kisses are softer as he walks over, his words more gentle. His body separates from yours as he rests you on the edge of the bathtub so he can start the water to fill the tub.
“How’s the view?” Bucky asked you, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
A soft laugh rips through you, and you can feel him smile against your skin.
“The view is perfect, handsome.”
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You didn’t find a single number out of place in the documents he presented you either. You took an entire weekend going over the numbers while Bucky watched you quietly. He didn’t bother you while you did so. In fact, he just stayed nearby and took the days off work, too. Bucky answered any questions that you possibly could’ve had for him, already knowing what you would’ve thrown his way.
Which only made your heart grow fonder for him, if you were being honest. He knew you like the back of his hand.
Once you were satisfied with everything, he helped you move all your stuff from your previous apartment over to your new home. Bucky timed the move in perfectly– your lease was about to break the following month, so you had just the right amount of time to tie up all your loose ends. 
All you really had to move over to the new place was your wardrobe, books, and sentimentals. You found out very quickly that during your random dates where Bucky would come home with you, he started taking stock of all your little things around the house. Anything that was running low, he just went ahead and bought so it was already at your new home, ready for you to use.
The last couple weeks were spent with you listing all your unneeded furniture up on the marketplace for an extra few bucks. Things like your dining table, sofa, coffee table– everything that Bucky had already bought and decorated for your home together. 
“You know this couch?” Sam asked you as he flopped down on it. “And the coffee table? The rug? Those barstools? The fucking light fixtures?”
You and Bucky invited him and his girlfriend over for dinner for a small celebration– a little get together to commemorate the fact that you and Bucky were officially fully moved in together now. 
“What about it?” you asked, handing him a bottle of beer.
“I picked it. Me. Bucky just swiped his card. You’re so fucking lucky, matchmaker. Your boyfriend sucks. If I wasn’t there– shit. You would’ve had clashing colors and patterns in this luxury penthouse,” Sam scoffed, taking a long swig. “I had a fucking headache just standing there. The sales associate thought we were married the way I was arguing with him in the store.”
“You two basically are,” you said, grinning against the rim of your own bottle.
“Don’t say that,” Bucky muttered, a shudder running through his body. “I’d rather die than spend the rest of my life with that idiot.”
“God, I’m glad we agree,” Sam groaned, shaking his head. 
“We picked more neutral stuff,” Bucky told you, sitting beside you on the couch. An arm draped over your shoulders, pulling you into his warmth. “We thought it would be easier for you to add whatever additions or colors you’d want in the future.”
“Oh, so you did think about me when you purchased an entire penthouse and furnished the whole damn thing without telling me,” you teased. 
Bucky rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t fight the smile on his face. “Yes, sweetheart. I thought of you.”
With the two of you living together now, it was easier for you both to see each other. You reveled in the fact you could fall asleep every night in his arms, even if you went to bed first. He didn’t want you waiting for him if he had an event that had him staying out late, but you would often wake up to him pulling you into his embrace.
In the mornings, Bucky would usually be the one to wake up and leave first. 
You no longer set an alarm on your phone. Bucky’s sweet kisses were your wake up call every morning. He wouldn’t leave until you kissed him back, no matter how long it took you to wake up. 
“Morning,” you would whisper to him.
“Morning,” he’d reply, kissing you one more time for good measure. “I made you breakfast. It’s on the table.”
“Wake me up earlier tomorrow so I can eat with you,” you whined to him, though you just rolled over on your side, closing your eyes again.
Bucky chuckled, leaning over your body to press a kiss to your temple. You sighed, letting the morning wash over you for just one more moment before you pushed up off the bed. You’d follow him downstairs, watch him grab his blazer off the seat of the dining table, and you’d tie his tie for him at the door.
“I’ll be home early tonight. I don’t have any events today,” you said, smoothing out the fabric on his chest.
“You’ve been coming home early every night,” he said, raising his eyebrow at you.
“So have you, Congressman. Almost like there’s something you’re running from. Something you’re avoiding at work?” you teased, smiling at him.
“No. Just trying to get home to you,” he hummed, smoothing out your bedhead with both hands before he held your face gently to kiss you one more time before he went off into the world.
This was your new daily morning routine. 
The trade off on coming home early meant that you still had to do work when you came home. Both of you. However, Bucky seemed to plan for that, which is why he had a room specifically made for a home office for the two of you. 
You two would spend your evenings there before dinner for a few hours, finishing up any work that you weren’t able to do at your respective offices. You two would be silently working on your own jobs.
You, researching your clients preferences and trying to match them up based on their profiles. You would also be looking up the best date spots, trying to keep up with the latest trends for dating, and making sure that you weren’t falling behind on anything else.
Bucky would be going through packets upon packets of different meetings that he would have attended. There were several different duties that he had acquired since you first started dating, and there were a lot of responsibilities that he had started shouldering. You were certain that he was also helping Sam on the side, though he couldn’t tell you full details as per usual. 
Usually, you would stop working when you heard Bucky stop working and open the door to the office. He normally ordered food for the two of you, and would go out to the lobby to pick it up, and bring it back for you two to eat.
It was your signal to put everything down, and relax with him for the rest of the night.
You heard him close his binder, heard the wheels of his chair roll backwards, but you didn’t hear the elevator open and close to signify his departure down. You shook it off– wondering if he just went off to the bathroom or something.
Then, you felt him behind you. 
Bucky’s chest was pressed against your back, enveloping you in his warmth. His hands were on your shoulders, and as always, the left side of your body was colder from the touch of his metal prosthetic. 
“Hi, handsome,” you said, a smile coming onto your face. “Is it time for dinner?”
“Almost. Delivery is on its way,” he answered you.
His hands slid down your shoulders, goosebumps rising on your bare skin as his hands moved all the way down to cover your own hands. He left his hands on top of yours, and you hummed, happy to feel him all over you for just a moment. Bucky’s head pressed against the side of yours, then he dropped his forehead into the crook of your neck.
“Are you okay?” you whispered, tilting your head to the side to give him more space to rest. He took it, burrowing deeper into you.
“Yeah. Just a little nervous,” he murmured into your skin, taking a breath. 
You were about to ask him what he was talking about, to turn around and look at him properly. Then, you felt his hands slide up just a little bit, resting now on your wrists instead of covering your hands completely. Except, there was a weight he left behind that wasn’t there before. Your eyes shifted downwards, and your breath caught in your throat at the ring he slipped onto your finger– the cool metal that he masked with the metal of his own arm.
Your breath is caught in your throat, your eyes widened at the sparkling star on your finger. Bucky plucked this thing out of the fucking sky– he had to. There was no way. 
“Marry me, sweetheart?” he asked softly. There was a slight tremor to his voice that you caught. A slight shaking in his right hand that you could feel. 
You couldn’t repeat what you did at the restaurant, make him freak out with worry over your quiet shock and silence.
Your sudden jolt into standing surprised him, but he didn’t seem to mind when you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing his lips, then his cheeks, his eyes– everywhere you could as tears were beginning to well up and spill over. You couldn’t help it. You felt Bucky’s anxiety release with each kiss, his hands resting on your waist to hold you against him.
“Is that a yes?” he asked, smiling at you.
“Why would I ever say no to you?” you demanded, making him laugh. “Fuck– I thought you were going to propose to me at the restaurant when you asked me to move in with you!”
“The restaurant?” Bucky asked, blinking. “What– really?”
“Yes!” you nodded, wiping your tears away roughly. Bucky caught your hands, putting them down to your sides so he could wipe your tears away in a more gentle way with his thumbs.
“I wouldn’t do that to you,” he said, looking appalled. “Do you know how many times you have ranted to me about the fact you hate restaurant proposals? You hate planning them, and you hate watching them. Why would I ever propose to you in a restaurant?”
“If it was you, then I would have changed my mind about it right away!” you argued with him, stubborn. “If it was you, you could’ve proposed to me with a candy ring, and I still would have said yes! We can elope– I don’t need a fancy wedding or anything. I just– just you. I just want you, Bucky.”
You watched as his eyes softened for you as he looked all over your features. You were certain that you looked like a mess right now, but you were finding it harder to believe that with the way he was looking at you right now. He looked as if you were the one that created the universe, and solved all his problems. There was nothing but admiration, love, joy. These were eyes that only you had the privilege to see. 
A smile came onto his face, one that you adored. A smile that you were going to be able to have for the rest of your life.
“Well, I’m your fiancé now, but you’ve already had me from the beginning, doll,” he said, “I’ve had this ring for over a year now, actually.”
“A year?” you whispered, eyes wide.
“I’ve been trying to find the right time to ask,” he admitted, a bit sheepish. “And just… right now. It felt right.”
“Me working in the same room as you felt right?” 
Bucky rolled his eyes at your blatant sarcasm. Except, he’s still smiling. He never gives you a real attitude. He wouldn’t dare. He loves you too much to ever do that.
“The fact that we’re both able to do our own thing in silence, but still be together felt right. We don’t need to speak. We don’t need to be touching. Don’t get me wrong, I love all those things, but… When I looked over at you just now— I felt at peace. Peace that I never thought I was ever allowed to have. So yes, it felt right.”
You’re about to cry again. You’re about to start fucking ugly sobbing in your boyfriend– your fiancé’s arms. You have a thousand things to say, but you know none of them will make sense right now. So, you bury your face in his chest and hug him tight, his arms coming to hold you even closer to him. 
“I love you,” you settled with, your voice breaking slightly.
“I love you, too,” he chuckled in response.
You listened to his chest rumble with laughter under your ear, felt his head rest against the side of yours. He led your bodies in a gentle sway, rocking the two of you back and forth. He took in a breath, releasing it slowly in a contented way. 
Your mind is racing still, and you ask one single question– just one to get his opinion. 
“Where should we get married?” you whispered to him. 
Bucky’s quiet for a few moments. A few moments too long. You pull back from him to look at his face, finding a smile on his lips, and a small sparkle in his eyes.
“I have some friends that want to meet you. Do you think you’re up to traveling to Wakanda?”
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masterlist
taglist: @duacruel @natsomens @decthaxhrcv @shortandb1tchy @iyskgd @ifuckwithyouanyday @miss-chuchu @bighappypiels @snnoopyy @messrkarmaismygf13 @thebuckybarnesvault @aekzla @simp4f1 @its-in-the-woods @lvrrinx @herejustforbuckybarnes @djotummy @star-yawnznn let me know if you would like to join my general bucky taglist for whenever i post a fic!
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kiss-me-muchoo · 21 hours ago
Text
𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐜 || 𝐉𝐢𝐧𝐮 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
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summary_ Jinu left behind the woman he was supposed to marry, centuries later, he finds her again, learning that she was cursed to reincarnate until she was able to find real love (+ she was helping the demon hunters)
warnings_ cursed!reader, canon divergence, lovers to enemies to lovers, magical realism, fluff, angst, tension, reader implied to be foreigner but not actual descriptions, perhaps cringe, lengthy fic, no proofread (editing later)
notes_this is the second time i fall for an animated character, first time was miguel o’hara and i still love him very much, im 21 and not ashamed to write about this lol
♫ ♪ jinu playlist
✰ Index (+ fics here)
୨ৎ───୨ৎ───୨ৎ───୨ৎ───୨ৎ
The wind was blowing so hard that your hair was a mess, flowing freely and getting tangled.
With a big smile on your face, you could only feel the adrenaline of running towards the end of the village, where the wild meadows awaited. And so did your lover too.
Men were going home after spending the whole day fishing, and women were carrying baskets of freshly made silk and linen too. Children were already gone, probably taking a bath in a big warm pot.
Women your age were already in bed but you couldn’t wait.
Not when Jinu was waiting for you at the meadows, even less when you had news to share with him.
Two weeks ago, your lover asked your father for your hand in marriage. At first, your old man said Jinu had nothing to offer you, that it wouldn’t work out. But the more you convinced him of how much you loved him, that you didn’t need to live in a palace to be happy, he started thinking differently.
And that night, as you ignored your quiet grandmother’s scary eyes, your father approved and allowed you to marry Jinu.
Your father’s mother was a mystery, she couldn’t speak, she was quite intimidating and you swore you could hear her sing in the middle of the night. Even your own mother seemed displeased by her presence, but didn’t say anything.
It was at the beginning of the meadows, when your running pace quickened. The beating in your heart mixed with joy and anticipation to get to Jinu.
When your head turned to look at the undergrowth nearby, your heart nearly stopped.
There was your grandmother, with her long grey hair and a beige gown. The sight was like a ghostly encounter, it sent shivers down your spine. It felt like a bad omen. Your stomach turned but you only ran faster. Thinking it was your mind playing tricks with you, you only kept running. Only that filled with fear.
Until you spotted a tall figure, you knew it was your home. Upon hearing the crack of branches, Jinu turned to look at you, and when he saw the many scratches in your face and arms, he grew worried.
“What happened to you?” He asked while inspecting your face.
“I guess I shouldn’t run like that again…” you answered with an attempted chuckle, opting to ignore the encounter with your grandmother.
His warm hands traced every scratch and while it burned, you would never move away from his touch.
“I have wonderful news, Jinu…” With a big sigh, you collapsed in his arms before speaking again. “My father said yes. We can marry now…”
You couldn’t see, but his face dropped, he remained quiet and when you felt he wasn’t hugging you back, you knew something was wrong.
“Jinu?…” you asked letting him go.
He stared at you in silence. You could see his perfect skin shining under the moonlight, his soft black hair that always smelled like tea, and the clothes you offered to wash for him and his family every week at the river nearby.
He was the only person you could imagine sharing the rest of your life with. But…
“We are not going to marry…” the words sounded unsure, even scared to say them out loud.
You stood there speechless, in shock. Suddenly the moonlight and Jinu himself weren’t enough, you started feeling the cool air hit against your body, making you shiver.
“Why?”
“I- Look… I found a better opportunity at…” you looked down at his hands and you saw a golden bracelet in his hand. Your face turns into one of disgust. Only people allowed into the palace wore that bracelet.
“Why would you do this to me?” Your hand dropped to your stomach, feeling the anxious feeling creeping all over. You couldn’t feel worse. And when Jinu remained still, in silence, your eyes grew teary.
“So you don’t love your family enough?” You asked and he looked down, ashamed.
“You don’t love me enough to marry me and find a better opportunity together?” When he still didn’t look up, you grew mad.
“Look at me when I’m speaking!” In a rush, you grabbed his chin and pushed it between your thumb and index finger, forcing Jinu to look at you.
“I’m sorry…” he attempted to say.
For the first time, you couldn’t feel the peace and comfort through his eyes. You could only see greed.
He gave up on you to pursue a better life; alone.
“You’re not sorry. You’re selfish and a bad man…” you spit out, letting go of his chin with anger. “Just know that every pain we cause comes with some karma to pay...”
You turned to run away, hearing Jinu calling your name, but you didn’t look back. You came back home running just as you left. Only that tears came as well.
Quietly, you opened the door of your humble home. There wasn’t a single candle illuminating the place, meaning that it was very late.
“That boy made a deal with a demon…” you nearly jump and died right there after hearing that voice.
When you turned to the corner of the chimney, there was your grandmother in her rocking chair.
Suddenly she could speak.
“You’re a witch?” You asked with terror when she stood up.
Her grey hair and almond eyes matched the aura of a witch who kidnapped children and made unimaginable things.
“I was disappointed when I gave birth to a man instead of a woman…” she revealed, making you feel beyond uneasy. “Imagine my surprise when I had a granddaughter who grew up with a fiery need to find love instead of keeping the lineage she comes from”
“I am not a witch” you firmly stated.
“No, you should’ve trained to be a huntress and that’s your biggest mistake” the more the old woman stepped closer, the more you wanted to run away. It was already enough pain to have Jinu’s words in your head repeating over and over.
“That boy preferred to follow a demon so his wishes could be granted, excluding you”
“Enough!” Your parents could be awake at any moment, and that would be worse, but you couldn’t hide your anger towards your said grandmother.
“May your soul be doomed until your heart beats with blood again” she started repeating in slow whispers, making you cry and yell back at her to stop.
“I said enough!”
Your left arm started burning, you cried in pain, until you ended up on your knees.
When you urgently inspected the skin, a trail of symbols appeared like magic ink. And when you looked up, the old woman was gone.
Nobody heard you, and nobody questioned your tattoo the following morning. When you knocked at Jinu’s mother's house, she told you through tears that he had actually left for the palace. That day your grandmother was found dead and within days, you and your parents were gone, back to the occident to finish your first life.
[Actually centuries later…]
A summer opportunity turned into an undefined job. When you left home to go to Korea and be a makeup brand creative director, you weren’t prepared to be gone for more than a month. But as the weeks passed, you found yourself accustomed to a new life. You started getting into the entertainment industry, with K-pop idols to be more specific.
Until you got the chance to make a collaboration between the makeup brand you were directing and Huntr/x or Huntrix. You had just met them and the three girls were nice, friendly, and were curious about the concept you were offering to them.
“And this is a cyber glam concept for the photo shoot…” you said while passing the three girls a bundle of pictures and collages.
“I love this, I think it’ll fit us perfectly” Rumi replied with a wide smile.
“Yep, agreed. This might be the one” Mira added, winking an eye at you.
“What do you say Zoey?” You finally asked the black haired girl who looked with detail at the concept.
“l-o-v-e it!” She yelled with excitement, hugging the papers against her chest.
“Sounds like we have a deal then…” the girls nodded at you and you excused yourself to have a little break.
After they picked the theme for the campaign and the break, the girls would have to try on costumes and pick the makeup for each one of them. But in the meantime, you would eat.
Outside the building, there was a little park with benches and lots of trees. You spotted an empty picnic table and you decided to have your salad and chicken katsu there.
It was nearly empty, not even the sound of the hatred city could be heard. Perfect place to feel pure peacefulness.
You ate in silence, a man in a business suit passed by and you heard the click of his formal shoes. He was hot, perhaps early thirties but very good looking.
And you remembered it had been so long since you had a boyfriend, the last relationship you had was back at home during middle school. It lasted years and took away a lot of the joy you were supposed to experience as a teenager.
When would you find real love?
An online palm reader said that it seemed hard for you to find a partner and that you were cursed. You asked if you could have your sixty dollars back but she blocked you.
You wanted a man who could be your best friend. To have a thing where souls seemed to be connected.
Distant sounds made you snap out of your delusions. Awkwardly, you stood up, looking around to find the source of the sounds.
Stepping into the bushes, you heard a growl. You froze.
A demon was taking the soul of the businessman you saw earlier.
Your loud gasp made the creature jump and try to attack you, tackling your body.
You tried to push the demon away, its touch hot and burning your skin, claws digging into your forearms, and saliva sliding down your neck.
You had always seen demons since you were a kid, but never interacted with them.
“Y/N!” Far away you saw Mira running towards you with Rumi and Zoey behind, carrying weapons. “Catch this!”
The woman threw you a fan and even in the middle of chaos, you sent Mira a displeased look.
“That’s all I had!” She yelled coming closer.
You tried to open the fan and noticed it was a regular item, not enough to kill a demon. With the demon trying to get your soul, you tried to set free the arm grabbing the fan.
Somehow, you managed to push the demon and before it could literally destroy your face, you felt your hand sliding the fan against the throat of the creature. And in a second, the creature vanished, leaving sparkles behind.
You frowned and gasped in horror.
“You’re a demon huntress like us!” Zoey yelled once the girls made it to your side.
“What?” You asked in confusion. “I’m a normal human being. I’m not-“
“Yes, you are! Look at the fan Mira gave you!”
But you weren’t exactly normal. Normal human beings couldn’t see demons so often, and they didn’t feel the constant sensation of déjà vu. At that moment you wondered if the palm reader was right. Were you cursed?
Mira and Rumi helped you to stand up.
When the four of you looked at the fan, it didn’t look the same, it looked like… a weapon. Similar to the ones the girls carried
“This is so weird” you whispered while shaking your head.
Rumi came closer and touched your shoulder with comfort.
“It’s okay, you might be confused but we can help” she said with a little smile.
“In fact, we’d actually also need you as well” Mira added with crossed arms while Zoey picked up the fan.
You sighed. Was there any other option?
“I don’t have much of many options… Right?”
“Nope” said the three girls with mischievous smiles.
Everything changed so drastically in a week. You moved into the same place with the Huntr/x girls and started moving away from the makeup brand creative director and more to be the biggest girl band creative director.
You designed their newest costumes and you couldn’t stop listening to their newest release “Golden”. In terms of demon hunting, you had assimilated the situation and you started helping them. The more you heard them talk about the hideous Gwi-Ma and types of demons, you got to be able to see the world as they did. With blue, but with growing red spots.
In your room, you've got to write and ramble as you used to do before. Only that you forgot to lock the door, even to close it.
“Are you singing ‘Golden’?” Startled, you looked at Rumi in horror.
“Yes, I told you I loved the song…”
“You can sing!”
“No I don’t” you say with a little smile.
“YES, YOU CAN!” Mira and Zoey screamed from the living room.
Rumi and you burst into laughter and you shrugged.
“I like singing. But.. I don’t know…”
“You could be an idol one day” Rumi said with enthusiasm.
“God no!”
“Yes! You can sing, we know you can dance and you have tons of creativity to do something cool”
“I don’t know, Rumi…”
Through the door frame, Mira appeared, looking uninterested in her phone.
“The doctor said he’s having us look at Rumi” she said.
Both of you nodded and when Mira disappeared, Rumi grabbed your arm before you could stand up from the bed.
“You can count on me that I won’t tell them about your patterns” you assure her after seeing her worried face.
You had seen her arms by accident. And you weren’t scared, but confused and curious.
“Thank you, y/n” she said with a smile.
“Sure. But you have to tell them…”
Rumi nodded, as she watched you changing into a jumpsuit.
The Huntr/x girls forgot about one extra box of medicines for Rumi. You went back inside the clinic and when you got out, you could hear a crowd and music. And then you spot your friends at the end of the hallway.
Confused and irritated by the sudden change of plans, you jog towards the girls who decided to walk closer, getting lost in the crowd.
“What is going on?” You asked.
“We bumped into some hot guys and turns out they are a new boy band” Zoey turns to tell you with fake disgust.
“Yeah and these two were drooling for the one with abs” Rumi joked, making fun of them.
“We were not drooling” Mira said while rolling her eyes, trying to convince you. You only chuckled.
“Look at them, they dance perfectly in sync” Zoey commented.
Saja Boys; sure what the hell.
♫ ♪ You’re all I can think of
Every drop I drink up
You’re my soda pop
My little soda pop ♫ ♪
What a lame and silly song; you thought.
And then you found yourself mumbling at the melody. So you were finally able to see the group of apparently perfect men. It was such a catchy song; you then thought.
Pastel hairs, colorful clothes, cute faces, and… That face.
As if you had entered into a noise-canceling bubble. You locked your eyes with the leader and an indescribable sensation started covering all of yourself.
He was tall, with perfect skin, perfect features, black hair and… he seemed so familiar.
“Look at me when I’m speaking!”
“I’m sorry…”
“You’re not sorry. You’re selfish and a bad man…”
Voices started to fill your head. Then images, of you in an ancient village, coming from the occident with your family. Meeting a man who became your best friend. He asked your father to marry you. And then… he left you.
Jinu…
Then the woman who cursed you.
“May your soul be doomed until your heart beats with blood again”
You nearly fainted when you heard the music again.
“Are you alright?” Mira asked and you started shaking your head.
“I want to leave” you managed to say with a broken voice.
And then you felt it, his eyes on you.
“What?” Rumi asked once she looked at you so distressed and anxious.
“Don’t ask, just help me take her out of this!” Mira told her.
The girls hurried to move through the crowds and when the Saja Boys' music started to sound distant, you sighed in relief.
The worst part? You knew he had seen you.
The smell of herbs filled the wide living room. At the table in the middle rested your smelly cup of tea. Rumi, Zoey, and Mira looked at you with wide eyes and expectant faces at your marked arm.
That night you four had followed the Saja Boys and tried to fight them. You helped Rumi to slip away from Jinu and you seemed to be his weakness, since he let go of your friend easily before you two disappeared from his sight.
“So you are cursed to reincarnate until you find love?” Zoey asked.
“I guess so… Things can’t stop getting weirder” you admitted in a low voice.
The trio of girls exchanged looks.
“And Jinu was the man you were going to marry?” Rumi asks politely, then you nod.
“We were poor, and I never wanted more but he… disposed me. Like we never meant anything…”
You bent to grab your cup of tea under the curious look of the girls.
“My paternal grandmother hated me for pursuing love instead of listening to her to become a witch, sorceress… Now I think she was a demon huntress. So she was pissed at me for not continuing the linage. And she cursed me…”
“Wow, this is… A lot of info” Zoey commented, throwing herself on the couch.
“Huntrix is strong and will manage just fine. But… I don’t think I can kill him” you admitted with a slight blush appearing in your cheeks.
“I can’t believe what I’m gonna say but… Maybe Juno didn’t mean to hurt you and his family” Mira said, earning shocked faces from everyone. “What? I mean, the whole story sounds like a folktale but it’s real. They must be soulmates”
Soulmates… Jinu was a demon. And you hadn’t talked to him in 400 years.
“I promise I will try my best to focus on the Honmoon and not on him” you add before drinking the tea in one single shot. “Now, this tea will make my memories a little blurry for some days. So… let’s not talk about this again, okay?”
The girls looked at you with a little bit of pity. But they nodded back at you.
The effects lasted two days. You spent locked in your room writing a few songs for Huntr/x, as well as making a collage for their upcoming performance at the Idol Awards.
Soft music played as you went in and out of your balcony. The heat was starting to become unbearable and you decided to work outside since the mosquitoes didn’t reach the height of your home.
You sang fully relaxed as you moved across the room. Printed images of ideas of the graphics and everything are scattered and a sudden blow of wind made a slight mess of the work you had already done.
“Oh no…” you whisper, kneeling to collect all of the images.
One was missing and you couldn’t find it until a hand offered it. You jumped right there, literally crawling backwards.
When you looked up, there you had it.
The reason why you were cursed and recently developed mixed feelings for.
Jinu was eyeing you with attention.
Both of you stared for what felt like an hour. Your palms were sweating and still holding the images as if they depended on your life.
“You remember me” he stated, the sound of his voice only confirming every flashback you had, every feeling you felt. It was real… You actually loved that man centuries ago.
“The moment I saw you I remembered everything…” you knew he started eyeing you up and down the moment you looked away from his eyes. Just like he used to do when he watched and got all wet when you washed clothes in the river. You blushed, just like you used to do as well.
“How?” He seemed to not be able to believe it. That he had his great love right upon his eyes. You looked the same but… so different. Your soul had changed, from a bright blue, it was shining in green. Meaning that your soul had been overworked. And then, you showed him your arm with the odd symbols.
“When you left, my grandmother cursed me for choosing you above the lineage of my family” you revealed while accommodating the pictures like you had them before the wind came.
“I reincarnate. I can’t remember how many times I’ve lived, but I’m pretty sure I always die young. And I will continue to do so until I find real love”
Jinu kneels across you, the images and papers being the only barrier between you two. You looked up to meet his gorgeous gaze again only to find him looking at you in awe.
“What we had was real love” he placed his hand on top of yours and it left you speechless for a second. A strong feeling of nostalgia hit you. His touch was cold now, but even there you felt the warmth you used to feel.
But you could also see his faint patterns, making you remember he was a demon. And you, an unofficial demon huntress.
“You treated me like I was nothing” you spat out with anger.
He sighed, looking at his fingers with yours before you could move your hand away.
“Yes, and the moment I tasted the luxuries of the palace I regretted it. I couldn’t leave anymore, I made a deal with Gwi-Ma and I was forced to face the consequences of my acts” he says with desperation and a hint of pain. “I wanted to give you and my family the world. And when I knew you weren’t included, I was still selfish. And for four hundred years, I’ve been consumed by the guilt”
“Good, because you deserve it. You’re a demon and that’s the least you could feel as such a thing” you said with lots of venom as you yanked from his hand.
“And now you’re a demon huntress…”
“I just help my friends…”
“I never meant to hurt you. I’ve spent all this time lounging to have you right in front of me and tell you how much I’m sorry. That I need you and I don’t think I’ll ever want someone as bad as I want you”
You stood up, turning around, doing your best to ignore the pang in your heart and the pulsing of your arm, right where the tattoo was.
Was it rightfully fair to be mean? Maybe not… but you were scared after all. Having Zoey, Rumi, and Mira right at the other side of the door, and a demon with you wasn’t ideal.
And you started remembering how much you loved him. And how happy he made you.
“If you truly want it. I can help you break the curse. I’d do anything for you, y/n…”
You stared at the wall in silence, feeling the wind come again. And when you turned around, Jinu was gone.
You should’ve known it was a trap orchestrated by Rumi and Jinu. When Rumi convinced you to go on a mission to a random rooftop to help her rehearse, you had no problems. Until you spotted him at said rooftop already.
“It’s none of my business but I think it’s quite worth it to make you two talk…” Rumi said with a nervous smile as the Derpy tiger and bird in a hat followed your friend away.
You sighed loudly, throwing your head back and putting your hands on your hips.
“I- I don’t know why Rumi is doing this. It’s dangerous…” you admitted out loud.
Jinu steps closer, eyeing you up and down, this time, catching his gaze on you.
“What are you looking at?” You asked suddenly feeling nervous.
“Your body, face, every mole and birthmark you had are in the same place…” you didn’t think he would remember. But he was proving you wrong.
And his comment affected you so much that you didn’t notice the moment he stepped beyond your personal space. You tried to step back, but he grabbed your waist with his big hands and the gesture made your legs feel wobbly. Slowly, you started to remember the exact shade of his eyes, the pink of his lips, and the size of his hands.
“You really missed me that much?…” you dared to ask with a sultry tone of voice.
Jinu blushed. His cheeks turned pink and his lips formed a nervous line, which made you chuckle.
Unable to resist the proximity, you placed both of your palms on his chest and immediately transported both of you to those summer nights at the village. Midnight sighs and soft touches, eager to wait till marriage but unable to ignore the curiosity hidden under the robes.
“I don’t even know why you’re here. What do you intend to do. But-“
“I feel it too…” Jinu finished for you.
Even when you knew that under that perfect skin, eyes, and lips you used to kiss every day, there was a demon. But deep down, you knew you’d love him despite all.
You stepped closer, hands pressing tightly against him. He leaned forward, holding your hips and you closed your eyes already knowing you’d be able to taste his lips again.
“We gotta go… Zoey and Mira are wondering where we are” Rumi said appearing in the middle of the scene, shocked to see you and Jinu tangled together. “OH! Uh- I’m sorry…”
“It’s not what you think so!” You hurry to tell your friend.
“It is what you are thinking but uh- yeah…” Jinu awkwardly said.
Shame invaded you and you don’t even look back at Jinu. You caressed the cat’s head and the tip of the bird’s hat before smiling to yourself as you started following Rumi.
“What was that?’ She asked while teasing.
“Nothing” you say, your smile growing bigger.
“No, no, no. Don’t wake up…” you heard a distant voice, but you eventually woke up.
In your bed was Derpy and the bird were sleeping. When you looked to the right, at the edge of the bed, there was Jinu. In pajama-striped pants and a hoodie.
“I didn’t want to wake you up…” he admitted with shyness.
“You just wanted to stare at me sleeping like a creep?” You asked with sarcasm, rolling onto your side and yawning.
“What? No! I just-, I wanted to see you…” Jinu said, combing his hair, a sign of nervousness.
“Where is your gang?”
“Sleeping… As we should, I guess”
“Are they your friends or did you just recruited them?”
“A little bit of both” Jinu confessed with a smile.
“If things were different. I’d ask you if I could meet them, I don’t know why but I’m curious…”
“Fair point, half of the world is too” you knew he wanted to hold your hand. So you just moved it closer to him.
“So you’re now an idol? Singing you’re my little soda pop?” Your question filled with teasing made him blush and it earned you a playful punch on your hip.
“It’s catchy…” Jinu attempted to defend himself and the band.
“It is… I’ve started singing it with Zoey”
He held your hand and it made your stomach flip. Then traced invisible patterns across your face.
“This is how I remember your skin. But I also really like how you look with makeup…” slowly, you smiled at his words.
“The modern look also fits you well. You look hot…” it was his time to blush, and it made you cackle.
Jinu loved making you laugh, he loved everything that involved you but being able to make you laugh again, made him feel less demonic and more… human.
“I’m gonna miss it” he said gently tapping at your cheek.
“What thing?” You asked in confusion.
“Everything about you…” he admitted. “That was the deal with Gwi-Ma, I stop Huntr/x and I get all my memories erased”
You frowned.
“But I don’t want you to forget me…”
His heart stopped. His throat tightened and he had to hold your hand more firmly.
“Sleep, beautiful” he said as he started to brush your hair with the tip of his fingers.
In seconds, the gesture made you go back to sleep.
Jinu was going insane.
You almost kissed him, and he appeared in your bed to tell you that he wanted to forget everything. Only for you to tell him that you didn’t want him to forget you. It nearly made him cry.
You asked him about the things that made him happy and you told him you wished things were different.
Then the Idol Awards happened. And you yelled at him when he and the rest of the Saja Boys ruined the Huntr/x performance. Zoey and Mira grew mad at you for helping Rumi keep her patterns secret. And as Jinu used his voice to attract people, he realized how unfair he was being to you once again.
The woman he loved was cursed because of him. And he couldn’t actually help you. Or so he thought.
You still loved him, he knew.
Jinu didn’t think twice before jumping from the stage to help you when he saw a demon scratching your face.
He saw you using your fan but it only attracted more creatures.
It was still a mystery to him to know how you learned to fight and for how long you trained. There were a lot of unanswered questions. Immediately forgotten when he got rid of the demons and offered you a hand to stand up.
He could at least try to save you. To stop you from reincarnating once again and living a memorable life.
“I love you!” he screamed.
“What?” You screamed back.
“I love you! And I will always do” Jinu said and you couldn’t help but fear and grab his arm. “We’ll meet again, my dear…”
“What are you doing?” He sighed and gave you a smile filled with joy and sadness at the same time.
You looked back at Rumi, fighting against Gwi-Ma himself on the stage and you understood Jinu’s plan.
“Jinu, don’t you dare…”
“It’s the only way to end this!”
“No, don’t leave me alone again!” It broke his heart. Seeing you with tears in your eyes and begging him.
He kissed you and this time you couldn’t do anything but focus on the way his lips moved against yours, carefully trying to remember every detail. Promising to remember that kiss for the rest of your life.
You looked at his real form. His demon glowy eyes, the lilac skin, and darker patterns covering him. His fangs and pointed fingers. You couldn’t give a fuck.
“I love you” he repeated making you accept that he had made up his mind.
“I love you too” you admitted between sobs.
Even when he started running back towards the stage, you tried to pull him back, to keep him with you. But he went ahead. The only thing you did was to pull a rusty bracelet from him, the gold bracelet he got to get into the palace back then. You sobbed harder, getting rid of demons that still attempted to get your soul. And as you watched Gwi-Ma disappear as every demon and Saja Boy, the bracelet turned into ashes. Your tattooed arm pulsated and when you looked at the skin, you gasped in shock. The symbols had disappeared, and the skin was free from any mark.
For the whole world, it was the biggest performance in the history of K-pop, to Huntr/x and you, more than just a performance.
Your friendship with the girls only strengthened and they convinced you to do he craziest thing you’d done so far. Debuting as a soloist…
Using Y2K and sequined themes, you built a concept and soon, with Zoey’s help, you were able to create songs. Mira trained you to be a great dancer and Rumi vocalized with you every night. Even before your first song was released, you already had many fans. At the same time, haters disliked you for allegedly using Huntr/x to gain fame of your own but most of the people seemed to be loving you and your debut song “Karmic”.
And of course, it was related to him. The song being about shining despite being bound to face karma for trying to get back a man you loved and who was gone.
It had been two months to be exact. Your debut happening only three weeks later after everything happened. It was your only escape to not focusing on the scar his departure left.
Maybe you were free from the curse. Your skin free from any proof of said curse. But completely scarred by Jinu’s memory.
In a dream, everything was darkness. And the only thing you were able to see, was that old lady who centuries ago was your grandmother, the woman who cursed you.
“Curse begone, make a wish…” she said.
You froze, then she showed you the rusty bracelet you pulled off from Jinu.
“I want him back. I want him to be happy and have everything that made him happy. I want him by my side and to be happy for the rest of my life with him” you yelled with tears in your eyes.
And then you woke up, tears actually came and you wiped them away.
It was the day of your debut album and first mini-concert. Rumi, Mira, and Zoey literally threw open your door and came to sit by the feet of your bed.
“Are you ready for today?” Zoey asked.
“Yeah, I think so…” the three girls smiled at you and started rambling about the busy schedule you had for the day.
“We’ll be by your side the whole day, don’t worry” Rumi assured you.
“Thanks, Rumi”
You stood up to look at your balcony and the sky was full of small clouds that made it look so dreamy. The skyscrapers shone with the sun’s reflection and a Saja Boys comeback giant poster was hanging from one of them.
A SAJA BOYS COMEBACK GIANT POSTER WAS HANGING FROM ONE OF THE SKYSCRAPERS!!!!!!!!!
“Uh… girls, Are you looking at the same thing as me?” They stood by your side and gasped in shock.
“No way” Rumi whispered.
“No. It might be a song they recorded before and the people who managed them are desperate to keep making some money” you assured them, also assuring yourself.
“Yeah, y/n is right” Mira agreed with you, arm around your shoulders.
You looked at Jinu, smiling in the poster.
How badly I miss you, my love; you thought.
“Are you okay with seeing… him?” Mira asked.
You nodded, smiling. Unable to feel sad, because that day was all about you.
“Yeah, let’s go to have some breakfast” you replied, hugging the girls.
“Bobby is here” Mira revealed.
“BOBBY!” He became your manager as well and you liked the man. He was a great guy and even a friend.
You had so many questions about the upcoming concert and presentations.
But you were excited, so you decided to enjoy the day with your friends as well.
If the public could describe you in two words, that would be: sultry and cutting-edge.
Half of your songs being dance/club hymns and the other half being crude, strong lyrics with unusual sounds that created an artistic sense.
Singing full songs glued to a microphone covered in rhinestones and then dancing while singing was a little bit more ingenious than you thought. But you were having so much fun. Changing into different attires in less than a minute and having sips of water in between was exciting.
Mira was cheering, satisfied with how good you danced.
“Look at the piece of art I created” she joked with Zoey and Rumi.
“I love that part of the choreography” Rumi added as they watched you.
“Yeah but let’s calm Bobby. He’s on the verge of collapse after seeing how sensual the song and dance are” the trio of girls started cackling, looking at their manager who looked nervous at the public and sponsors.
But everything was in order.
Until you got to the after party. A club a few blocks away from your place with the girls. A lot of magazines and artists wanted to be at your party. As unbelievable as it sounded, you were officially a celebrity and idol. Far from being tired, you danced with Mira all night, and couldn’t stop laughing along with Zoey and Rumi.
But you needed to take a break. To savor happiness alone for a moment. You stepped out to the empty terrace of the place and the distant music was the only sound. The sky was almost completely dark and you sighed in disbelief. You turned around, leaning backwards against the railing, and saw a man approaching.
You thought it was Bobby. But no…
You stopped breathing and for a second you thought you had died.
How was it possible that Jinu was standing, looking like a human and very much alive in front of you?
You threw yourself into his arms, and he was actually there. Tears prickled in your eyes and you heard him chuckling as he hugged you back.
“Is this real? I’m not drunk and making all of this in my head?”
“No, you actually brought me back…” he whispered in your ear, then kissing your temple over and over again. “You smell a lot like alcohol actually. But it’s real…”
He was joking, Jinu was joking. But there you had the love of your many lives in your arms.
“You re-appear after I saw you dying and you decide to joke right now?”
So the dream was real…
“I woke up and I was here. My mom and sister live, and the Saja Boys too. A call from our manager telling us that our comeback was scheduled woke me up” he said. “I thought I was dreaming but no. Then my mom asked me if I wanted to have breakfast and there was my sister looking at you in the tv. You were singing a song and… I just knew it was real”
“I had a wish in a dream and I begged to have you back” you revealed. “So your soul. Is finally yours again?”
“I got trapped in Rumi’s sword. But your wish set me free… thank you” Jinu grabbed your cheeks and smiled fondly at you.
“For the man that I’ve been in love with for centuries? Everything….”
“Even after all the pain I caused you, you save me and willingly keep loving me?” you shrugged with a smile.
“You’re worth it. You were since the moment I met you, Jinu” you accepted, placing his hands on your waist and pushing him down to kiss him.
His cheeks felt hot under your palms and you knew he was blushing once again.
Amidst the kiss, you smiled. And he felt that pure joy again. He could finally live with you just like it was ment to be the first time. He could be a man his age and breathe knowing he would age and fill his purpose along you.
“We both are idols now” he commented with a little smirk.
“Are you ready for all the scandal we’ll cause when our fans learn that we’re together?” You asked him, still in his arms, not daring to move away as Jinu chuckled.
“The sooner the better. I didn’t like many of the looks people would throw at you at the concert…” he revealed with a disgusted face and your eyes went wide.
“You saw me?”
“Of course I did… And I have to admit I’m quite surprised” his teasing tone made you laugh nervously but also nudge him playfully.
“Why? Did you like my outfits? And the way I danced?” Making him nervous, you cackled.
“I’m not used to this modern you yet” he said.
“Well, buckle up, honey. Cause I’m hardly letting you slip off of me and I’m not changing” you threatened before kissing him again.
“Good for me” he assured you while gasping for air and returning to passionately kiss you.
In the modern times you were leaving, Jinu and you didn’t have to wait till marriage. And thank goodness, because you wouldn’t have to explain much to Mira, Rumi, and Zoey the following morning as to why Jinu was in your bed and why the rest of the Saja Boys rested with a hangover at your place with them.
୨ৎ───୨ৎ───୨ৎ───୨ৎ───୨ৎ
Taglist: @nina-from-317 @gloriousqueen101 @birbtweettweet @akariis4snowball @nekee-lilac02 @yourtypicalhuman09 @ffcfffr @ilovemuhusbandnanami @foxxbee-2963 @hara23 @akeaaan @kaorisakamotofan @kyuki07 @siasoup @vvidka @bitchpleaseeeeeeeeee @oreeowe @anakinsrilgirlfriend @thecordelialetters @vixyvlo @iviorienne @loonalockley @bre99 @ateezswonderland @crescent-z @gina239 @aerrz3 @theblackestbitch
♫ ♪ reader’s inspired debut setlist:
•Karmic is similar to Zen from JENNIE in my mind
1. Spark - WINTER AESPA solo
2. Me Against The Music - Britney Spears, Madonna
3. Lifestyle - LISA
4. So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings - Caroline Polachek
5. earthquake- JISOO
6. Sober II (Melodrama) - Lorde
7. THAT’S A NO NO - ITZY
8. Fetish - Selena Gomez, Gucci Mane
612 notes · View notes
isabelckl · 2 days ago
Text
texting loser!ellie that you have nipple piercing in class 3
nerdy loser!ellie x popular mean fem!reader
bored in english, you reply to a girl named E you’ve been talking to on an anonymous gay dating app—without knowing it’s that lesbian nerd girl, ellie williams.
texting loser!ellie that you have nipple piercing in class 2
The rest of the month bled together in that soft, glowing kind of way—every day bookmarked by the same routine. E in the morning. E during class. E when you were brushing your teeth or pretending to do homework. You talked about everything. Or nothing.
She kept you sharp. Made you laugh when your head was splitting from school noise. Kept you just distracted enough to forget you were tired all the time. And somewhere along the way, you stopped wondering who she was. Because it felt like she already knew you. Not the polished version people saw. You.
You’d stopped counting how many pictures you’d sent. Nothing technically scandalous. But enough to make her say “i’m not strong enough for this” at least three times a week.
You were on your phone, sprawled out in your usual seat in English—last sub of the day, last brain cell left.
You:
im on my last sub rn. talk to u later :(
E:
don’t think about me too much while you’re in class
You smirked.
You:
oh i will. especially us doing unholy things rn
E:
i’m blocking u.
You:
no ur not. u love it
You were still grinning like an idiot when the classroom door slammed open. Everyone scrambled to pretend they weren’t just throwing paper balls or stealing someone’s chair.
Ms. Alvarez was already holding a clipboard, face grim. “Alright, settle down. We’re starting a new graded requirement today—your final literature project. Half of your term grade will come from this. I’m pairing you up.”
Groans some cheers exploded. You barely registered it, still texting E something about being the main character in a forbidden library romance.
Until you heard your name.
“...and Ellie Williams.”
Your head snapped up, blinking.
A few snickers came from behind you, your friends catching it instantly.
One of them patted your shoulder, barely hiding a grin. “Oh, girl. Should we start worrying?”
You rolled your eyes and didn’t bother to answer.
Then a voice you hated piped up. Some guy you’ve never liked, probably trying to be funny.
“Maybe you could just show her your tits and she’ll do the work for you.”
You turned. Instantly.
“Shut the fuck up,” you snapped. Loud enough for people to hear.
He put his hands up, smirking. “Just suggesting.”
Ms. Alvarez didn’t seem to hear, or maybe she was pretending not to. “You’ll have six weeks. You’ll be required to sit beside your assigned partner during this class for the entire project period.”
Some complaints, some high-fives.
You grabbed your bag, eyes scanning. Ellie was still seated, alone near the front, chin in hand.
You made your way over slowly. She was on her phone, thumb tapping something out fast.
“Hey,” you said, soft and casual.
Her head snapped up. Like, immediately. Her phone vanished into her hoodie pocket so fast it was almost suspicious.
You raised your eyebrows slightly, not saying anything.
“Hey,” she replied, voice a little rough around the edges, like she’d just cleared it.
She blinked once, then moved quickly—grabbing the things from her desk and tucking them into her bag on the floor, her sketchpad sliding in last. Then, without saying anything, she reached out and dragged the desk and chair beside her, pulling them close in one fluid motion. The legs scraped loudly against the tile.
You cleared your throat, lowered into the seat, and placed your bag on top of the desk. One hand stayed tucked in the pocket of your skirt, curled loosely around your phone.
You didn’t say anything else and neither did she.
You both just sat there as Ms. Alvarez started droning about the project.
“This is a character-driven piece. Something with personal stakes. Introspection. Conflict. Subtext. You have six weeks.”
You barely heard her.
You unlocked your phone under the desk.
You:
i just wanna go home now and talk to you
(not being clingy)
You smirked without meaning to, biting the inside of your cheek.
Then waited.
Ms. Alvarez was saying something at the front—project guidelines, probably. But her voice felt like it was coming through a thick wall of static. You just kept your gaze on your screen. Quiet. Expectant.
Still nothing.
She usually replied right away. Even in class. Even with “busy” in her bio.
You stared at the chat a moment longer, thumb hovering over the screen. Not that you were being clingy. Obviously.
You bit your lip and glanced sideways.
Ellie was hunched over her notebook, scrawling notes in the margin like her life depended on it. Her leg bounced under the desk. Her grip on the pen was tight. Too tight. Like it might snap in half if she pressed any harder.
You sighed, leaned back in your seat, and slid your phone back into your pocket.
Your eyes stayed on the front of the room, but you weren’t really listening. Words blurred. The only thing in focus was that weird thrum in your chest. Like something off-key in a song you’ve heard too many times.
After a moment, your eyes drifted back to Ellie.
Her auburn hair was tied loosely at the base of her neck, strands slipping free at the sides and curling against her cheek. Her eyes flicked between the teacher and her notes, sharp and serious, like she was actually locked in.
You stared.
Just for a second too long.
Her brows were pinched in thought. She twirled her pen once, adjusted the way she sat, and pulled her hoodie sleeve down over her hand like she was trying to disappear into it.
You pressed your lips together, fingers tapping soundlessly against your arm as you crossed them tight over your chest, waiting for your phone to buzz.
Ms. Alvarez finally wrapped up her monologue with something about “use your time wisely” and “brainstorming starts now.” Then she sank into her desk like she was already exhausted by all of you.
Ellie cleared her throat, then quietly turned toward you.
She pushed her notebook halfway across the desk, her handwriting a little messy but precise enough to follow. She didn’t look at you at first—just tapped the edge of the page once, offering it like a peace treaty.
You leaned forward, resting your elbows on the desk and your chin on your knuckles. Watching her.
She glanced up, finally meeting your eyes. “Do you have anything in mind?”
You did.
Maybe E.
But you didn’t say that, of course.
Instead, you reached over and plucked the pen from her hand. Your fingers brushed for just a second—warm
You lowered your eyes and started scribbling into the corner of her notes.
Fantasy. Coming-of-age. Drama. Romance. Sapphic.
You underlined the last one.
When you slid the notebook back, she tilted her head at it. Just slightly. Her eyes skimmed the list, and then her lips twitched—barely noticeable. But it was there.
“Sapphic,” she repeated, like she was tasting the word.
You shrugged, eyes flicking up. “Just a suggestion.”
She looked at you again. Not judgmental. Not even surprised.
You raised your eyebrows at her—challenging, almost daring her to say something.
Ellie leaned back slightly. Her voice dropped just a little. “Are you sure?” she asked, voice low and husky. “I mean… you’ve got a reputation.”
You didn’t bother hiding the eye roll that followed.
With one hand, you slid the notebook back across the desk toward her. “You can suggest what you think,” you said flatly. Calm. Measured.
She picked up the pen again and wrote underneath:
Agreed.
You raised your eyebrows again.
That’s it? She just… agreed?
“No suggestions?” you asked, skeptical. “Nothing on your mind? You just agreed we write a sapphic book?”
Ellie didn’t even look up. “Nope,” she said, the pen already back in her hand, sketching something random in the corner of the page. A shape. A line. A loop.
You narrowed your eyes at her, gaze flicking over her blank expression. “Well,” you muttered, scanning her with a mock offense, “I expected something much more from you. I mean, you’re the nerd here.”
That earned a glance—sideways, brief. The corner of her mouth tugged, like she was fighting off a smirk.
“Well, I also didn’t expect you to suggest writing a sapphic book,” she replied, dry.
You tilted your head. “Why not?”
Ellie shrugged. “You’ve got a reputation, remember?”
You didn’t even flinch. Just let out a breathy scoff, leaning forward on your elbows again, voice low but pointed. “I just told our classmate to shut the fuck up because he said I could show you my tits and you’d do the work for me. Do you think I care about reputation?”
That caught her.
Ellie blinked, startled for a beat, then let out a short breath—half laugh, half disbelief. “Jesus,” she muttered, her gaze flicking to yours. “Didn’t know you were like that even in personal.”
You frowned. “Huh? Like what?”
She didn’t answer right away. Just glanced down at the notes again, something unreadable twitching in her expression.
You scoffed softly and leaned back, arms folding across your chest again. Your eyes darted to Ms. Alvarez, who was now busy at her desk, rifling through a drawer.
“And oh, please,” you said, dry. “It’s not like Ms. Alvarez isn’t gay either.”
Ellie looked at you, blinking.
“That’s why she has no husband at her age,” you went on, tone casual like you were talking about the weather. “She likes girls. And the rumors, Ellie—you’ve heard them. She won’t mind reading a sapphic piece.”
You tilted your head, lips twitching.
“I bet she’ll like it very much.”
Ellie stared at you for a moment longer and looked away.
But not before you caught it—that flicker of a smirk, barely there.
She shook her head once, muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “Unbelievable,” and went back to scribbling.
Ellie tapped her pen a few times against the edge of the desk, then tilted her head slightly.
“So,” she said. “What’s it gonna be? Angsty? Enemies to lovers?”
You squinted at her, lips already twitching. Then, without saying a word, you reached out—snatching her notebook and pen in one smooth motion.
Ellie blinked, caught off guard.
You scribbled one word in bold, all caps:
SMUT.
Then slid it back to her with a raised brow and the kind of smug grin you only pulled when you were being very annoying on purpose.
Her eyebrows shot up.
“Smut?” she repeated, slow, confused. “How… it’s not appropriate, I think.”
You bit back a laugh. “Of course it’s not,” you scoffed. “I’m just fucking with you.”
She stared at the word a second longer.
You plucked the notebook back and crossed out SMUT with a dramatic scribble, then started writing again beneath it.
“Anyway, I think something like friends to lovers or whatever,” you said, voice a little more thoughtful now. “It’s the easiest for me to write.”
You kept jotting down rough plot beats, loose ideas—nothing concrete yet. Just bullet points. Your handwriting was starting to drift sideways, slanted and lazy.
When you glanced up again, Ellie was watching you.
Her chin rested in her hand, elbow propped against the desk, eyes steady on your face like she was studying something. Like she was seeing a new side of you. Quiet. Focused.
There was something unguarded about her in that moment. Something soft around the edges. Like maybe—for just a second—she forgot to keep her usual walls up.
You paused, blinking. “What?”
She didn’t answer nor move.
You raised your eyebrows. “Oh,” you said slowly, tilting your head to mirror her. “You’re interested in writing that smut?”
That seemed to break the spell.
Ellie blinked, straightened slightly. “No,” she muttered, her voice low and curt as she grabbed the notebook back from you.
You watched her quietly as she flipped to a clean page and started jotting something down like nothing happened. Like she hadn’t just been staring at you for maybe… kind of a long time.
Her pen scratched against the paper. Her face calm again. Composed. But her ears were slightly pink.
“You’re red,” you said, your voice teasing, a smirk tugging at the edge of your lips.
Ellie didn’t look up. “It’s warm in here.”
You raised a brow. “Right. Sure it is.”
She clicked her pen once—sharp, deliberate—then turned to you with a look so flat it could’ve been carved from stone.
“Better red than desperate for plot-driven foreplay,” she said, completely deadpan.
Your mouth fell open.
“Oh my god,” you breathed, scandalized. “You are thinking about the smut.”
Ellie didn’t respond. Just returned to her notes like nothing happened, but the slight twitch at the corner of her mouth gave her away.
You grinned, triumphant.
You watched her for another beat, amused. “You didn’t deny it.”
Ellie didn’t look up, but her pen paused. “I’m ignoring you.”
You leaned over, voice lower now. “You’re failing miserably.”
That got you a side glance. Brief. Sharp. But not annoyed. More like she was trying not to smile and losing the battle entirely.
You tapped her notebook with your nail. “So, what is this groundbreaking lesbian epic we’re writing?”
“Plot ideas,” she said, clearing her throat. “Since you keep distracting me.”
You hummed, unconvinced. “Am I allowed to see, or are you gonna bite me if I try?”
Without a word, she tilted the notebook your way.
You leaned closer.
There was a character with too many feelings and a bad temper. Another one with trust issues and what looked like “shitty taste in people” scribbled in parentheses.
You frowned, eyes skimming back over the notes. “‘Shitty taste in people’?”
Ellie didn't say anything at first, just twirled her pen between her fingers, like maybe if she spun it fast enough, she wouldn’t have to answer. But eventually, she shrugged.
“Some people keep going back to things that hurt them. It’s realistic.”
You stared at her for a beat. The way she said it wasn’t casual. It wasn’t dramatic either—just honest, like she’d written that trait from experience, not imagination.
You leaned back a little. “Nope.”
Ellie blinked. “What?”
“Nope,” you repeated, already reaching for the notebook. “Too depressing. I’m not writing about heartbreak or sad girls with commitment issues. I’ve got enough of that in real life.”
She didn’t stop you as you turned to a fresh page, clicking your own pen open with purpose. “Let’s try this again.”
You started scribbling, words forming in fast, slanted loops.
Two characters. Childhood friends who lost touch. One returns unexpectedly. Maybe there’s a stupid school festival involved. Maybe someone’s in denial. Maybe they’re both idiots, and it takes a whole novella of almosts before anything actually happens.
You glanced sideways to find Ellie watching your hand move. She didn’t interrupt. Just kept staring like she was trying to match the rhythm of your pen to the shape of your thoughts.
You paused, tapped the page. “This is better.”
Ellie tilted her head. “Friends to lovers?”
You nodded. “Less depressing. More yearning.”
“Yearning is depressing.”
“It’s a good ache.”
She was quiet for a second, then let out a tiny exhale—somewhere between a laugh and a sigh. “Alright,” she murmured. “Let’s write something stupid and soft.”
Ellie took the pen from your hand without asking and leaned over the notebook again, brow furrowed in thought. You didn’t say anything. Just watched her as she wrote—quiet, focused, occasionally pausing to tap the pen against her chin. The sunlight from the classroom windows had shifted, painting her in a late afternoon haze of gold and orange. It softened the sharp lines of her face, caught in the ends of her lashes and the auburn strands slipping from her hoodie.
She looked like a photograph that could blur if you stared too long.
The bell finally rang, loud and abrupt. Ms. Alvarez raised her voice over the sudden scrape of chairs and chattering students, tossing out reminders about deadlines and word count minimums. Nobody listened.
Ellie shut the notebook with a quiet thud and began gathering her things, slipping the sketchpad into her bag and adjusting the strap of her guitar case. You stood, grabbing your own bag from the desk and sliding your phone from your skirt pocket out of habit.
Your fingers unlocked the screen before you could stop them, eyes drifting to your last message to E. Still no reply. You stared at it for a moment longer than you meant to. The bubble of words just sitting there. Unseen. Unanswered.
You let out a breath, sharp and quiet, then turned to Ellie just as she slung the guitar over her shoulder.
“By the way,” you said, holding your phone out toward her, “I need your number.”
She glanced at you, nodded, and took your phone without a word. Her fingers moved fast, thumb flying across the screen before she handed it back and silently offered her own. You typed yours in, quick and neat, and gave it back with a nod.
The room was already half-empty, filled with leftover noise and footsteps in the hall.
You walked out, phone back in your hand, your thumb instinctively brushing over the screen. You opened your messages again.
Still nothing.
Your eyes stayed on it as you moved with the current of students spilling into the hallway—sunlight flickering across lockers and tile. You didn’t notice when Ellie fell in step beside you until she asked, casually, like it was nothing.
“You waiting for someone to text you back?” Ellie said as she walked past, not even slowing down.
You blinked, glanced up—but she was already a few steps ahead, her guitar slung over her back, hoodie pulled up.
You didn’t answer. Just looked down at your phone again, just as a message from E lit up your screen.
Your chest tightened with that familiar tug—the kind you only ever felt with her.
tag list:
@eclipcee8 @darkdanixoxo @chappellroankisser @senjukawaragitr @saverdelrey @appleofmyii @wzcoffeefloomo @fatbootymuncher @oneinameliann @ilahrawr @spiderx18 @vampirq @mioluvzsevika @ff4mi @ggutpunch @ellies-dinosaur @butchchase @bambiaches @velvetinkbym @rhian88 @azxteria @yxsmina @zaunite-516 @sweetshrew @eriiwaiii2 @bluminescent-moon @elliespotion @mascspleasegetmepregnant @dykeissih @babydoll-ivory @summerdaysout @tiedinbows @eilishfike @vixenkii
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sprenthecreator · 1 day ago
Text
IMPURITIES EP. 4 | Falling Away From Me
Final episode from this LSF mini-series
Male reader x Chaewon, Eunchae
9,4k words
tags: hate sex for chaewon, fluff for manchae, threesome
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If you'd known how things were going to end, maybe you would have thought twice before falling for Yunjin and Chaewon's manipulation that night in New York.
You were in the living room, sitting in your usual spot, with an iPad on which you checked schedules that apparently no one cared about anymore, your hair messy and your shirt wrinkled, thinking about how you'd lost control of everything thanks to the seeds of chaos you'd once planted and that were now weeds impossible to prune.
A year had passed since that night, and what started as a little game you thought wouldn't amount to much had mutated into the main source of your exhaustion, because the truth was that your authority had eroded to the frustrating point where none of the girls respected you like they used to.
Nah. They didn't even respect you, in general.
Much of it was solely your fault, and it was something you'd made peace with a long time ago. But the girls had been consciously pushing the boundaries ever since, knowing it was as simple as giving you pussy once in a while to get you off your butt. That way, they killed two birds with one stone: they satisfied their carnal needs, and kept you appeased.
At first, it was one-off things you didn't worry too much about, like staying out late without telling you or breaking minor rules of living together. However, when they realized you weren't making a big deal out of it, they started skipping practices, staying out all night without checking in, and seeing as many guys and girls as they pleased.
And all this while making you cover for them.
For God's sake, what the hell had all that become? It was a fucking circus, and you were the highest-paid clown in it. It had to end, and soon. Of that you were sure.
Unfortunately, your only problem was that you had no idea how to proceed. While it was true that your emotional bond with Chaewon—who was the best-behaved of all of them—was by far the strongest compared to the other girls, your relationship had soured thanks to your constant encounters with the others. If it had happened a year ago, you might have been able to address the situation with the levity it required, but now you felt like there was a sea of ​​distance between you.
And all because of jealousy, bad decisions, and the audacity of four girls in their prime.
Laughter upstairs brought you out of your reverie. It couldn't be Chaewon, since you knew she was busy with her own things at that hour, and it couldn't be Kazuha, since she was out on one of her individual photoshoots. That left you with the Three Musketeers.
It wasn't your business to know what they were laughing about, and it never had been, since it was their personal space. But for some time now, you'd been suspicious of even the smallest thing. The laughter could only mean two things: either they were laughing at something innocent, or they were committing one of their misdeeds.
Experience told you it was the latter.
With a heavy breath, you put the iPad aside and stood up, heading for some stairs you hadn't climbed in days, maybe weeks. As you climbed them, you felt a strange discomfort run through your body, knowing you were entering a domain over which your jurisdiction was now null.
Upstairs, you looked around, noticing one of the doors was wide open: the bedroom Sakura and Yunjin shared. More laughter came from there. You walked cautiously, careful not to make your footsteps creak the wooden floor as you approached. A few feet away, you frowned as a smoky smell reached your nostrils. Like... burnt grass, but more intense.
When you peeked your head around the left side of the frame, your suspicions were confirmed and even exceeded.
Sakura and Yunjin were sitting on one of the two beds, dressed in loose clothing and with their hair down. Nothing out of the ordinary until you noticed that Yunjin was holding a lit joint between her index finger and thumb. She didn't notice you were watching, so you watched as she took a quick drag, held it, and then blew the smoke into the air.
They had a long history of inappropriate behavior, but this was completely new and more serious. At least for you. And you weren't going to tolerate it.
"Can you explain to me what the fuck you're doing?!" you asked, abruptly entering the room.
They both got a bit of a shock, but relaxed—yes, they fucking relaxed—when they saw it was you.
"Oh, calm down, manager-nim," Yunjin said, dismissing it with a wave of her hand. "It's just a friendly joint, it won't hurt anyone."
Maybe you were just too irascible and irritable, but that alone was enough to make your blood boil.
"Do you do this shit outside the house too?" You raised your voice and took a step forward. "Do you know that crap can ruin your fucking career? For the love of God!" You threw your hands in the air. "What the fuck are you thinking?"
"If you don't like it, leave," Kura said, shrugging. She took the joint from Yunjin's hand. "We're adults and we know exactly what we're doing."
"And I don't think you're the one to lecture us on morals, are you?" Yunjin asked with a giggle, tilting her head. "My throat still hurts from how well you fucked my face last night."
You snorted, feeling your frustration rising in your body.
"Maybe I'm not, but I'm still your fucking manager, and I've had enough." You walked over to them, grabbing Sakura by the wrist with one hand and taking the joint from her with the other. Then you turned around to walk to the door. "Next time I'll inform the company, see if that will get you in line."
Sakura and Yunjin laughed behind you. Did you tell a joke?
"Yeah, we'll just sit here and wait for you to do it," Kura mocked. "Take your time."
"Goodbye, manager-nim!" Yunjin said to you, still giggling, as you stood under the door, biting your tongue to avoid responding.
In the end, you left the room and slammed the door behind you.
The joint in your hand was still lit, and since you didn't have a stain-resistant surface nearby to put it out, you simply let it burn in a corner of the hallway floor.
As you turned around and started walking down the hall toward the stairs, one of the doors at the far end opened. You stopped as Eunchae emerged from her shared room with Zuha, wearing headphones, a cropped T-shirt that showed off a good portion of her belly, and tight shorts.
And she was carrying a can of beer.
"Oh, hello, manager-nim," Eunchae greeted with a nod of her chin after hanging the headphones around her neck. With a defiant look, she opened the can of beer in front of you.
You clenched your fists and teeth, closing your eyes to summon whatever patience you had left after dealing with the other two.
Since becoming an adult seven months ago, Eunchae had joined the others and started acting like a rebellious brat, and she was undoubtedly the biggest pain in the ass. Not because of what she did, but because, as the maknae, everyone jumped to her defense as if she couldn't even kill a fly.
"Hong Eunchae..." you began in a low but threatening voice. "You better have a good reason for having that damn beer in your hand. You know very well we don't drink here."
Eunchae walked toward you and stopped about a meter away, leaning her weight on one leg and crossing her arms.
"I'm 18 now. I think I can do whatever I please, right?"
"You can do it outside the house. But there are rules here."
"Rules?" Eunchae chuckled. "The same rules under which you fuck my unnies over and over again?"
You were silent for a moment. You had no defense against that.
"That has nothing to do with all of you being brats in constant disobedience," you opted to say.
"If we're in constant disobedience, it's because you haven't had the courage to stand up to us," Eunchae took a step forward. "Or am I wrong? Huh?"
At your silence, Eunchae brought the beer can to her lips and took a long sip. A bit of beer trickled down the sides of her chin and slid down her long neck. Then she looked at you again, closer this time.
"I just drank," she said defiantly. "Are you going to do something about it?"
Eunchae studied you for a moment, noticing your fists clenched in rage. You were about to say something, but she got there first.
"I thought so."
Then, leaving you fuming at her insolence, Eunchae turned on her heel and walked back to her room, her hips swaying.
Definitely, you'd had enough. Something had to change, and it had to change right now. Your mind immediately went to Chaewon. She was the leader, and also supposed to be the most mature, she had to take responsibility for the behavior of her members.
Feeling steam coming out of your ears, you walked to the other end of the hallway. The door to Chaewon's room was ajar, and with your best-contained anger, you entered.
Chaewon was sitting on her messy bed, knees pointed out and feet tucked under her thighs as she scribbled in a notebook. She was wearing short pajama shorts and a loose shirt that slipped off one shoulder, and she was listening to music on her AirPods. Her gaze shifted toward you when she noticed your presence, her expression stern.
"What's wrong?" she asked me with a coldness that made your heart sink, taking out her AirPods as you closed the door behind you with a firm click.
You stood near the door and crossed your arms, feeling the full pressure of being in a place you shouldn't be under normal circumstances weighing on your shoulders. You felt like an intruder, and that's probably what she thought.
"Chaewon, this has gone too far," you finally said, your voice calm and in contrast to how irritated you felt. "The damn house is in disarray. There's no more respect, no more order. Everyone does whatever the hell they want without fear of the consequences, and honestly, I'm fucking exhausted. Do you know what Eunchae was doing? She..."
You stopped saying what you were going to say when Chaewon put her notebook and mechanical pencil aside and got out of bed with a sudden movement.
"Same thing again?" she asked, her tone cutting, taking slow steps toward you until she stopped less than a meter away. "Do you realize the way you're talking?" She tilted her head. "I'm not your fucking babysitter! When are you going to get this through your head?"
You gritted your teeth, focused on not getting any more upset than you already were.
"No, you're not the fucking babysitter. You're the leader of the fucking group, and you don't seem to care that this shit's going down!"
Chaewon let out a dry laugh, shaking her head. She turned and walked over to the desk, where she began shuffling her sheet music, something she did when she was under severe stress. Her hands were shaking.
"And what about you?" Chaewon asked without looking at you. "How can you expect to blame me when this whole fucking mess is your fault?"
"My fault?" You pointed at yourself, walking over to her side. "I've been trying to keep them in line for a damn year, and you just let them do whatever the hell they want," you were inadvertently raising your voice. "You're not using the damn authority you're supposed to have! This is your responsibility too!"
Chaewon turned to face you, her face inches from yours.
"My responsibility?!" She raised her voice too. "I'm sick of taking the fall for your damn mistakes while you..." her voice cracked. "While you fuck the others like you don't care about what I feel!"
Bingo. That's the root of the whole damn situation. The worst part is that it was also your fault for letting her get involved not only sexually with you, but emotionally as well. You liked each other, a lot. But the nature of your working relationship complicated things a lot on your end. Of course, she didn't care, and she allowed herself to feel jealous of the others.
"Chaewon... ugh!" you huffed in frustration, bringing your hands to your face. When you lowered them, your eyes wandered down to her desk, where you noticed an envelope among the sheet music with what appeared to be the HYBE logo. "What's this?"
Chaewon looked where you were looking and tried to hide the envelope, but you were quicker and grabbed it. It was, indeed, an open envelope with the HYBE logo in one corner. She tried to take it from your hands, but you covered yourself and pulled out the folded paper inside.
"You've got to be kidding me..." you muttered.
The sheet contained a notice: an anonymous complaint about LESSERAFIM's behavior, mentioning rumors of parties in nightclubs, lack of discipline, and even dating scandals, with implications for legal action if these behaviors weren't corrected.
Every ounce of patience you'd been mustering evaporated in the heat of your boiling blood. That explained everything: both the girls' audacity at seeing their actions had no consequences and Chaewon's passivity in the matter. She was hiding it.
Betrayed by the leader of the group you were leading. It had gotten to that point.
"Kim Chaewon..." you slowly lowered the sheet of paper, your gaze fixed on the floor. "You knew about this and didn't do anything to fix it?"
Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Chaewon tense, completely still on her feet. You could tell she hadn't planned for you to find out.
"It's not my problem..." she said hesitantly. "If they want to come, then let them. I'm tired."
You raised your gaze to face her, frowning.
"Then let them? What the fuck are you talking about?" You shook the sheet of paper in your hand and then threw it on the desk. "Don't you realize that your passivity makes you just as guilty as the rest of us?!"
"Guilty?!" Chaewon raised her voice, her face turning red. "Of course, because you can fuck the others like common whores in need of cock, and I have to smile and act like it's nothing!" She gave you a little shove. "You think it doesn't hurt me to see you with them? It makes me sick! Sick!"
"Chaewon-ah! It's not all about you!" you yelled, hands outstretched. "Don't you understand? You're being a fucking selfish bitch and letting everything get ruined over a fucking jealousy scene!
"I..."
"Grow up and talk things over with me instead of letting things get to this point!" Fuck!" You slammed the side of your fist against the desk and turned your back to take a few steps away, feeling your head start to hurt.
Chaewon, instead of closing the distance between you, took a slight step back.
"Do something, then," she said, her voice shaking.
You stood very still, thinking you'd heard her wrong.
"Excuse me, what?" you said, slowly turning around and closing the distance between you.
"Do something," Chaewon repeated louder. "Be a damn man, and do something. You're the highest authority in this house, right? Do something."
You stood in front of her, staring into her eyes as your breathing grew labored. Rage took hold of you and clouded your thinking, so you didn't measure your strength when you grabbed her by the arms and slammed her against the wall on one side of the bed, smashing your lips against hers.
Chaewon moaned and grabbed at your shirt, tugging at it and biting your lower lip as you kissed her furiously. You wrapped your arms around her body, and she wrapped her arms around your neck, one hand in your hair and the other across your shoulders. She fought for control of the kiss, making your teeth clash and your tongues swirl. In the end, it was your determination to prove your dominance that allowed you to subdue her.
You grabbed her by the thighs and lifted her into the air, spinning her onto the bed and throwing her face up against the mattress. Chaewon trapped your torso with her strong thighs, hands on your shoulders as you exchanged saliva and heavy breaths.
In a pure surge of desire and anger combined, you ripped off Chaewon's shirt with a sharp upward jerk. Chaewon gasped, her small breasts covered by a black bra that you wanted to rip to shreds.
"You're going to learn who's boss, you fucking whore," you growled. "Open your mouth."
"Make me, asshole," Chaewon barked back. "You're not gonna boss me around after months of being a pussy."
In response, you slapped her firmly across her left cheek, making her moan. Then you grabbed a handful of her short brown hair, pulled her head back, and bit her exposed neck. Chaewon dug her nails into your shoulders and let out another moan, letting you trail kisses and sucks down to her chest. You slid your hands under her back, and after removing her bra, you took one of her breasts into your mouth.
Chaewon's back arched as you swirled your tongue around each nipple and sucked on them like never before. After leaving each mound covered in saliva, you slowly lowered your mouth between them until you reached her tummy, pausing there for a moment before moving to her lower abdomen and, with your hands on her waist, yanked her shorts and panties down her legs.
With her now wet pussy exposed, you wasted no time parting Chaewon's legs, pushing her thighs back and planting your mouth there, giving her an upward lick before devouring her silky folds, addictive not only for their texture but for their taste.
"Oh god," Chaewon moaned after a few seconds, as you sucked and licked her clit. "Stop being such a fucking weakling and fuck me already."
"Shut the fuck up," you snapped, and slapped her pussy. She moaned. "You're not in charge. Get it through your fucking head."
Before Chaewon could protest further, you sucked on your middle and ring fingers and slowly guided them into her tight pussy. Chaewon reached out and gripped strands of your hair as you began pumping your wrist, simultaneously licking her clit in rapid motions.
Chaewon writhed on the bed, her moans getting louder as you went faster, your sole goal being to make her explode as quickly as possible. You succeeded after a few seconds, when Chaewon tensed her thighs and exploded against your mouth, stifling sweet squeals of pleasure that she muffled against the forearm she was biting.
"Cum again," you said, in a low but commanding voice, still pumping your fingers even though Chaewon was still squirming.
"B-But! I'm still-"
"I said cum again."
Chaewon grabbed your hair with both hands, pulling hard. Not even a minute passed before your commands sank in and she came for the second time in a row, her body seized by a series of spasms that made her crumple the sheets beneath her.
"Good girl," you said, standing up while her legs were still shaking. "That's the least obedience I expect from now on."
Still somewhat dazed from climaxing twice in such a short amount of time, Chaewon remained silent as you removed your clothes. When you were completely naked, you climbed onto the bed with her and, kneeling beside her face, took your hard cock in one hand and forced it into her mouth.
Chaewon didn't protest and closed her lips around your cock with a moan, propping herself up on one elbow to grasp your shaft at the base and pump her head with long, hard pumps. Her control didn't last long, however, as you pulled a handful of her hair into a ponytail and began fucking her face.
"That's it, slut, take it all," you groaned, rapidly pumping your hips.
This wasn't anything new between the two of you, so she was able to take almost all of your cock before her gag reflex kicked in. Still, saliva slowly seeped from the corners of her lips and dripped down her chin, and it only got worse when, after a moment, you buried the entire length of your cock inside her mouth, resting it against her throat.
"Choke on it, bitch," you gasped, tightening your fingers in her hair, feeling her throat caress your tip.
Chaewon gagged against your cock, saliva spilling from her mouth in thick drops that fell onto the sheets. Her nails dug into your buttocks, a signal to stop that you ignored at first. Only a few desperate slaps on your thigh finally made you give her a break, letting her cough and catch her breath.
"You fucking..."
You returned the words to her mouth with another sharp slap to her cheek. Chaewon groaned, looking up at you with eyes filled with pleasure and anger.
"I don't want to hear you, shut the fuck up," you said, going to kneel between her legs.
"Fuck you, motherf... mmmgh!" Chaewon squealed as you took your cock inside her in one swift motion. "God, why can't you just be mine?"
You placed your hands on her thighs and pressed them back, fucking her slowly at that angle you knew she loved. Funny, but yes: even mad as hell at her, you cared that she enjoyed it.
"Because I'm not interested in belonging to a selfish bitch," you said, jaw clenched, panting at how good the way her pussy squeezed your cock so deliciously always felt. You didn't really think that, but it was the first thing your anger put in line.
Chaewon grabbed her legs behind the knees, keeping them spread. She moaned as you went faster and pounded her against the bed.
"Those bitches don't deserve you!!" Chaewon protested amidst her moans.
"And do you?"
"At least I truly love you!" Chaewon squealed, closing her eyes and tilting her head back. "Why doesn't that matter to you?!"
You pressed both of Chaewon's thighs together and rested both of her heels on your right shoulder, then leaned forward and pushed her legs against her body with your hands flat on the mattress.
"Then why did you let all this happen?!" you yelled through a grunt, reaching deep into her pussy with each thrust. "You don't do that shit to someone you love!!"
"And you don't deliberately fuck that person's groupmates either!"
That was the last thing Chaewon screamed before cumming again, suffocating your cock with her tight walls. She shuddered beneath you and gripped your forearms, every muscle in her body contracting in an orgasm that wasn't half as strong as what you knew you could achieve in her.
"If that bothered you, you could talk to me, Kim Chaewon," you murmured, fucking her slowly. "Talking. You know what that is, right?" You slowly raised your voice. "Talking instead of putting the fucking executives on our fucking heels!! What the fuck were you thinking?! Ugh!"
You pulled out of her pussy and grabbed her forearm to force her to stand up off the bed, carry her to the desk, and bend her against it. Chaewon braced her hands on the surface, crumpling some sheet music and knocking a couple of pens out of their containers to the floor.
"I don't have to go around telling you what the fuck to do and what not!" Chaewon yelled back, a moan escaping her throat as you came back inside her. "You're a fucking adult and you know exactly what you're doing!"
"And that excuses you from being fucking negligent?" you asked, hands gripping her waist as you pounded her pussy again with fast, hard thrusts. "I understand that you're mad at me, but hiding something like that from me? What the fuck is wrong with you?!"
"You had to wake up somehow, you fucking asshole! Mmmgh!" Chaewon squealed, slumping her upper torso against the desk, knocking more of her things over. "I hope it teaches you to think with your head and not your dick!"
You reached out and grabbed a handful of her hair. Chaewon moaned as you pulled it back, causing her to lift her chest slightly off the desk.
"So you're not even sorry?" you growled, your brow furrowed.
"I won't fucking be sorry until you are!" Chaewon snapped back. "And believe me, you have plenty of reasons to apologize!"
You wished your mind had come up with a response to that, but all you could muster was a resounding slap to her right buttock that reverberated throughout the room and made her scream. More like those landed, on each buttock. One after the other until her ass was tinted a bright red, making it look like a jelly cake that you jiggled with each violent thrust.
"Keep going, keep going, keep going!!" Chaewon squealed, her hands braced against the wall in front of her. "Keep going, daddy, please!"
Chaewon exploded within seconds, in an electrifying orgasm that still wasn't the strongest you could get out of her, so you lifted one of her knees and placed it on the edge of the desk to adjust the angle and continue fucking her through a climax that still didn't relax her body.
"Oh fuckkk!!" Chaewon slammed her hand on the table, resting her forehead on one of her notebooks. "That feels so good!"
You gritted your teeth, sweat dripping from your temples and onto your chest as you redoubled your efforts. You squeezed her left buttock with your hand, and with the other, you had her behind the neck, both grips tight and rough. The railing continued until Chaewon came again, and this time you smiled when her neck arched back and she screamed at the ceiling.
"My god!!" Chaewon growled, her pussy squeezing you as her whole body shook. "How can I hate you when you drive me so fucking crazy, son of a bitch!"
"I'm the one who should hate you for what you did," you gasped, sliding a hand from her ass to her waist and pulling out of her pussy.
"And yet, you don't," Chaewon turned to look at you over her shoulder, straightening her back slightly with her hands resting on the desk again. "I'm everything you've ever wanted, and that's why you love me."
"Then you understand how disappointing it is for me that you would hide something like that out of jealousy," you said, unclenching your jaw and calming your breathing. The anger was slowly dissipating. "I… didn't expect that from you, Chaewon,” you shook your head. “You're better than that."
Chaewon opened her mouth to say something, but only a stutter came out. Then her eyes glazed over, and she wrinkled her nose in an attempt not to cry. She was realizing.
"I-I..." Chaewon pouted and looked away, two tears falling down her cheeks. "God, I'm sorry."
That looked more like the Chaewon you knew, one who put her pride aside and was mature enough to know how to give in when necessary. But despite it all, it broke your heart to watch her cry. Always.
You sighed and tilted your head, watching her as she wiped away her tears to no avail, as she sobbed on and on. Chaewon then straightened her back, turned around, and snuggled up to your chest with both arms in front of her.
"I'm so sorry, I really am," Chaewon sobbed. "You don't deserve to go through this because of me."
You swallowed and wrapped your arms around her, holding her close. You stroked her back and hair to comfort her.
"I'm sorry too," you said quietly, staring into space. "For... acting without thinking about how you'd feel."
"What I did is much worse!" Chaewon whimpered. "I messed up, and now we're going to be in trouble!"
"Chaewon-ah, please breathe," you said, seeing that she couldn't find relief from her tears. "There's time to make things right. We just have to absorb the blow and improve. It won't be more than a scolding."
That seemed to calm her down a bit. Chaewon made an effort to regulate her breathing and hold back her sobs, after leaving your chest wet with her tears.
"You think so?" Chaewon looked up at you. "I really don't want this to end because of me. I've worked so hard in this group, and... and..."
You cupped her face and kissed her gently. Chaewon held onto your wrists, kissing back.
"We both made mistakes, okay?" you said, gently holding her face. "You've already apologized for yours, and I apologize for mine."
"Can you really accept my apology? What I did..." Chaewon looked to the side and slowly shook her head. "God, I'm really sorry."
"I can accept them as long as you commit to putting things in order. To really put things in order like the leader you are," you did a pause. "Can you accept mine?"
"I can accept them..." Chaewon now looked at you. "But you know what that entails."
"I... I think I know," you nodded.
"We have terms, then?"
"They're going to riot about it, and we will have to find a solution for them, but we have terms."
"Great," Chaewon sighed and rested her forehead against your chest. "I'm still mad at you, though."
"I know, I know," you said. "Can I do anything to remedy it, even just a little?"
Chaewon looked up at you, and slowly reached down to grab your cock and rub it.
"Fuck my ass," she said, her hand sliding down your cock, wet with her own fluids. "You've never done it, and I think this is a good time to."
You chuckled.
"Really? Right now?"
"Well... you're not doing it with Kura anymore," Chaewon scribbled on your chest with a finger from her other hand while giving you a lazy handjob. "So you better get used to doing it with me."
Damn it, you weren't going to fuck Kura's ass again. The thought was painful. The sacrifice was more than necessary, though.
"So be it, then," you said, and slid a hand behind her to squeeze her ass. "Turn around."
Chaewon obeyed and bent back against the desk, her fists resting on it. She pushed her round ass back, pressing the back of your cock between her buttocks. There was no lubricant on hand, so you'd have to settle for natural methods, using saliva and her own fluids to prepare her ass.
"Mmm, fuck," Chaewon moaned, straining as two of your fingers made their way inside her butthole. "Slow, slow."
"Haven't you done this before?" you asked, carefully stretching her insides. "Not even with toys?"
"Those three have put the wrong ideas in your head, honey," Chaewon sighed, your fingers now fully inside her. "Not all girls are sluts who like things up their asses."
"I had to ask," you shrugged. "Do you feel ready yet, sweetie?"
"I think so..."
You removed your fingers from inside her ass and grabbed your cock, pressing it against it. For her first time, her hole yielded quite easily to your length, slowly filling it. Chaewon dropped her chest onto the desk.
"Well, it's not as bad as I thought..." Chaewon murmured. "Wait stop!" she said, when you were only inches away from being completely inside her.
"Is that your limit, baby?" you asked, your hands on her waist. "You can relax, I won't push any further."
"Yeah, I'm sorry, darling," Chaewon sighed, looking at you over her shoulder. "I know Kura can take it all, but I..."
"Kim Chaewon," you grabbed her neck and pulled her closer so she was looking into your eyes. "Never, and I repeat, never. Compare yourself to other girls."
"But..."
"Never. You drive me fucking crazy, no matter what. I've told you that more than once, I’m pretty sure."
Chaewon remained silent, and looking into your eyes, she pushed her hips back and drove the rest of your cock into her ass with a small cry of pain. You took her hands and intertwined your fingers together.
"Hey!" You frowned, concerned by her pained face but also delighted by how good it felt. "Baby, you didn't have to do that..."
"Shut up," Chaewon reached behind her to cover your mouth, her eyes closed as she adjusted to having you inside her ass. "You shouldn't have said that: you forced me to prove how much you deserve the best of me."
Chaewon took your hand from her mouth and returned it to the desk.
"Are you sure it doesn't hurt?" you asked.
"Just move, asshole," Chaewon replied. "I'll get over it."
Somewhat hesitantly, you began to move slowly, your hands on her waist. Your cock slid in and out of her with some friction, lacking proper lubrication, but that didn't stop it from feeling simply delicious after just a few pumps. For Chaewon, it was a similar sensation: over time, her expression softened, slowly transforming to evoke the pleasure she felt.
"Is that better, darling?" you gasped, one hand slowly moving up her smooth, beautiful back to rest on one of her shoulders. Now your rhythm was steady, not too fast for fear of hurting her.
"Oh yeah, it's feeling like I thought it would," Chaewon replied. "You can move faster."
You did so, gradually picking up a steady rhythm until you were slamming your pelvis against her ass with each thrust. Chaewon's moans grew louder and louder, letting you know that ecstasy was taking over her and that she was beginning to enjoy every second of it.
"Do you like it, sweetheart?" you asked, gaping, your fingers clutching her shoulder and waist.
"Yes daddy," Chaewon nodded quickly, gripping the opposite edge of the desk. "I love it."
"Can I go faster?"
"I'm not in pain anymore... so use me however you wish."
Those magic words were like gunpowder to the flames, allowing you to slip out of your restraints and give her a good pounding against the desk. All Chaewon did was moan, squirm, and throw even more things off the desk, including HYBE's letter. The room erupted into a perfect cacophony of flesh against flesh and moans.
Interrupted by the sound of the door opening to your left.
You and Chaewon quickly turned your heads and turned your backs to hide your private parts, seeing Eunchae standing under the door, her eyes wide open, fascinated by the scene before her.
"Hong Eunchae!!" Chaewon squealed, frowning, her face flushed. "What did I tell you about knocking on the damn door?! Get lost!!"
"No... this is entertaining," Eunchae said, looking down—probably at your ass—with the door still wide open behind her.
"God, I said get out!" Chaewon yelled, grabbing a pencil to throw at her. She missed badly. "And close the damn door already!"
You grabbed Chaewon's wrist and leaned close to her ear.
"Let her stay," you muttered, glancing at Eunchae out of the corner of your eye.
Chaewon glared at you like you'd gone crazy.
"Huh?! Didn't you learn anything from our argument?"
"This is our chance to start weeding," you said even more quietly so Eunchae wouldn't hear. "Trust me. I have a plan."
Chaewon stared at Eunchae for a moment, rolled her eyes with a snort, and stared at the ceiling.
"Okay, Eunchae," she said loudly. "You can stay. But for God's sake, come in and close the damn door!"
Eunchae hurried into the bedroom and closed the door behind her. You then carried Chaewon to the bed, putting her on her hands and knees as she faced Eunchae, whose eyes lit up at the sight of your naked bodies.
"Should I just... stay around here?" Eunchae asked nervously, pressing herself against the wall next to the door with her hands behind her back.
"If that's what you want," you shrugged, and as you looked down at Chaewon, you thrust back into her ass with a single gentle thrust.
Chaewon moaned, her ass raised from you and her back arched. You left your hands on her buttocks and went back to fucking her with the same intensity as a moment ago, only now looking at Eunchae as you did so.
Eunchae watched intently, leaning against the wall, her breathing quickening as she brought a hand to her crotch to touch herself over her shorts.
"Enjoying this, huh?" you asked between gasps, watching her rub circles on her slit.
"You two look... so hot, yeah," Eunchae nodded, biting her lower lip as Chaewon whimpered in pleasure, seconds before experiencing her first anal orgasm.
You gripped Chaewon's waist with both hands, thrusting slowly and deeply as she moaned and writhed, crumpling the sheets beneath her hands. Her ass suffocated your cock at one point, forcing you to stop and enjoy the sensation.
When Chaewon's orgasm passed, you grabbed her shoulders and straightened her back to press her against your chest. She turned her face, kissing you as she met your lips. You wrapped your arms around her, one hand playing with one of her nipples and the other between her thighs, rubbing circles on her clit. Then you pulled your cock out of her ass and quickly slid it back inside her tight, warm pussy. Chaewon moaned against your lips, placing her hands over yours, and fell forward again as you began pounding her pussy with fierce thrusts that made her shake like a rag doll.
In front of you, Eunchae had one hand inside her shorts and panties, fingering herself faster. She let out small, almost inaudible moans.
"Look at that, baby," you told Chaewon, and you slapped her ass so she arched and looked at Eunchae. "The brat is horny."
"Manager-nim... you move so well," Eunchae said with a small sigh, her cheeks flushed, moving her wrist faster inside her shorts. "When are you going to...?"
Perhaps sensing what her question was going to be, your body tingled to let you know you were close to cumming. So, grabbing Chaewon by the arms to keep her back straight, you pumped up your energy to give her a few last wild thrusts before erupting inside her pussy.
"Mmmgh fuck!" you groaned, balls deep inside her as you filled every corner of her pussy with slow pumps.
"Fuck..." Eunchae moaned. "Is he...?"
"Cumming inside me, yeah," Chaewon nodded, looking into your eyes with her mouth agape. "And he's cumming a lot."
Your head was spinning at that moment, overwhelmed by pleasure. Chaewon fell chest first onto the bed as you released her arms, now giving her buttocks a hard squeeze. Her grippy pussy was also throbbing around you, and you looked down before pulling out of her and watching your cum spill out of it.
Chaewon slid an arm underneath herself and with her fingers scooped a good amount of cum from between her folds.
"Baby," Chaewon looked at Eunchae. "Could you pass me a wet wipe?" She pointed to her nightstand, and as Eunchae watched, she brought her fingers to her mouth to eat your cum.
"Y-yeah, sure," Eunchae nodded, practically trotting over to the nightstand to grab the pack of wet wipes and hand them to Chaewon, her gaze fixed on your fluid-soaked cock.
While you sat down to rest and catch your breath, Chaewon took a brief moment to clean herself up. A minute later, Chaewon tossed the two wet towels she'd used, crumpled into her trash can and looked at Eunchae.
"So? What are you waiting for?" Chaewon asked. "Come here, cutie."
Eunchae kicked off her slippers and climbed onto the bed, kneeling beside you. Chaewon knelt in front of her and, taking her by the shoulders, led her into a gentle kiss that slowly turned passionate. Eunchae was visibly nervous, but Chaewon was sweet to her the whole time until she warmed up and was able to relax.
Chaewon grabbed Eunchae's crop top and slowly pulled it over her head, revealing the pastel pink bra underneath.
"Can I take that off too?" Chaewon asked, her hands behind Eunchae's back.
Eunchae nodded, and Chaewon unclasped her bra so it fell onto the mattress. Eunchae's tits were even smaller than Zuha's, but they looked soft, and her nipples were small and pretty. Chaewon brought one to her mouth, making Eunchae moan and grab the sides of her head.
"Unnie, touch me down there too..." Eunchae moaned, twirling strands of Chaewon's hair around her fingers.
"Hm?" Chaewon looked up with a nipple in her mouth. "Like, here?"
Chaewon slipped her hand inside Eunchae's shorts and panties, and you watched as she reached her pussy, making Eunchae roll her eyes as she circled her slit with her fingers.
"Oh yeah, just like that," Eunchae sighed, as Chaewon continued sucking and licking her small tits. "You can undress me too."
"I'm a little busy," Chaewon replied, kissing between her breasts. "Manager-nim, will you help me?"
You looked at Eunchae silently, and only when she nodded in approval did you knelt up to go behind her and pull both her shorts and panties down to her knees. Eunchae gasped, feeling your cock brush against one of her buttocks. Chaewon, for her part, arched her back and lowered her kisses to Eunchae's tummy..
"Just relax, princess," Chaewon said, looking into her eyes. "We're going to make you feel good."
Eunchae reached behind her to cup the back of your head, while Chaewon inserted two saliva-stained fingers into her pussy. She let out a moan, and you noticed a slight tug on your hair from her, a signal you took as a green light to bury your face in her long neck and shower it with kisses.
"Can I touch you, sweetheart?" you asked in Eunchae's ear.
"I can literally feel your cock against my ass, manager-nim," she replied, turning her head to look into your eyes. "I don't even know why you're asking."
Then Eunchae subtly joined her lips with yours, in a tender kiss you hadn't expected from her, considering the way she'd been behaving all these days. You placed both hands on her small waist, then moved them to different places: the left one to her tits, playing with one of her nipples between your fingers, and the right one between her legs to rub her clitoris.
Chaewon began slowly pumping her fingers in and out of Eunchae, who moaned against your lips at the double stimulus that made her squirm her hips and buck slightly. Soon, Eunchae's breathing became heavier as Chaewon fingered her faster and you rubbed faster, pushing her hips back to crush the back of your cock between her nude, soft buttocks.
"Does that feel good?" you softly said against her lips.
"So, so good," Eunchae moaned, her eyebrows raised and her mouth gaping. "I think... I think I'm gonna... Oh lord!"
Eunchae tightened her fingers in your hair as she came with a soft moan, her body trembling against yours. You moved your fingers slower, and Chaewon pulled her fingers out of her to go down a little further and lick her pussy with gentle licks. 
"I want you to... eat me," Eunchae managed to say in the midst of her climax. "Can you?"
"I'll take care of it," you replied, taking her hand and leading her to lie down on one of the pillows.
Eunchae made herself comfortable with a pillow under her head, right in the center of the bed. You got on top of her, and after a small, warm kiss on her lips, you slowly moved down her upper torso, stopping at her tummy to lick and kiss it. Then you went a little lower, now between her thighs, pressing them back and bringing your mouth to her pussy.
"Oh my... so good," Eunchae sighed, arching her back and grabbing your hair.
Chaewon joined you and lay down next to Eunchae to kiss her lips. Then she moved down her neck, stopping at her tits and sucking on them again, one hand coming down to join you as you ate her pussy with slow licks, soft kisses, and gentle squeezes of her thigh.
Eunchae's moans grew louder as you let go of the gentleness and began to eat her pussy the way you really knew how, resulting in another orgasm that had her whimpering against Chaewon's lips and cuddling her like a teddy bear.
"Mmm, I think it's time for the main attraction," you said, wiping your chin as you knelt between Eunchae's spread legs. "Do you want to do it?"
Eunchae broke away from Chaewon's lips and looked into your eyes, then at your cock just above her pussy. She bit her lip, her cheeks flushed and her breathing ragged, visibly very horny.
"Yes... I do," Eunchae nodded. "Please fuck me, manager-nim."
You took your cock and pressed the tip between her folds, but instead of taking it inside, you rubbed it up and down between them.
"Why should I?" you asked.
Eunchae frowned, confused. Beside her, Chaewon, on the other hand, gave a small smile, knowing where this was going.
"Well... because I'm naked in front of you and you just have to put it in?" Eunchae retorted.
"Indeed," you nodded. "But I'd be giving you what you want. Why would I give you what you want like you deserve it?"
"Oh come on, manager-nim!" Eunchae protested, clutching the pillow under her head with one hand. "Don't be like that! I'm sorry, okay?"
"Your apologies aren't enough, I need something more."
"What the fuck do you mean?" Eunchae tilted her head and grabbed your cock, trying to push it inside her. "Just do it!"
You grabbed her wrist and stopped her, doing it yourself, but you only got the tip inside. Eunchae twisted her hips in a desperate attempt to push more inside her.
"I need you to promise me that you'll start behaving," you said, with a stern tone in your voice that you hoped would work. "And that you'll start respecting my and Chaewon's authority, no matter what."
"And if I refuse, what are you supposed to do?" Eunchae challenged you.
You shrugged and pulled your tip out from between her folds. You made as if to get up from the bed.
"No, stop!" Eunchae stopped you, trapping you with her legs around your waist. "Oh my god, I can't believe you coerced me into this!"
"It's your fault for being nosy and not knocking before entering," you said. "And now you only have two possible choices. Decide."
"Fuck, fine! I promise!" Eunchae said. "Just fuck me!"
"You promise what?"
Eunchae rolled her eyes and growled in frustration.
"I promise I'll behave and respect your authority no matter what!" Eunchae finally blurted out.
A surge of relief washed over your body, making you take a deep breath. Nothing assured you she wasn't lying, but it was a start.
"Good girl," you smirked. "It wasn't that hard, was it?"
"Shut up."
"It's weird to ask, but are you a virgin?"
"That's none of your business!" Eunchae snapped.
"Just asking, rude ass."
Now certain you'd gotten what you wanted from her, you grabbed your cock by the base and slowly guided it inside Eunchae. The absurdly tightness of her pussy led you to believe she was indeed a virgin, but when you looked up, you didn't notice her even the slightest bit worried about it. A pained expression was what you would have expected, but Eunchae just seemed to be enjoying every inch of you filling her.
"Damn, look at you," Chaewon said from beside Eunchae, kissing her neck. "Taking all that cock in exchange for not being such a rebellious brat anymore. Don't you think that's a reasonable exchange?"
"I'm not so sure you know?" Eunchae retorted, when you were halfway inside. "But I don't think I’ll regret it anytime soon."
You sincerely hoped she wouldn't, because you wanted to get that matter with her over with so you'd only have to worry about the other three musketers.
After a few seconds of slow thrusting, your cock was buried deep inside Eunchae's pussy, which felt like a tight, warm glove enveloping you perfectly. You placed her right heel on your shoulder, and with your hand on her left thigh, you began to move your hips.
"Oh my god, Eunchae," you sighed. "You're crushing me, damn it."
"Yeah? Does it feel good?" Eunchae asked as you took the entirety of your length in and out of her with each slow pump.
"It feels amazing," you nodded, squeezing the flesh of her soft thigh beneath your fingers. "And for you?"
"You have no idea," she sighed, letting out a long moan.
Chaewon ran a hand down Eunchae's tummy and between her legs to rub her clit with swift, agile movements of her wrist. That urged you to go faster. Eunchae found Chaewon's lips again and moaned against them as you began to fuck her with swift thrusts, her hands cupping her unnie's face.
Not wanting to keep her waiting, you reached out and slid a hand between Chaewon's buttocks and found her pussy, inserting two full fingers inside her. Chaewon moaned and pulled away from Eunchae's lips, watching as you moved your wrist as you fucked Eunchae's tight pussy at a perfect pace.
The room was soon filled with both of their moans and the occasional thump of your pelvis against Eunchae's crotch. The two of you merged again in a kiss, and the first to cum was the maknae, squealing and squirming her hips. Her pussy felt even tighter that way, throbbing around your shaft and wetting it with her warm fluids.
After a few seconds, you pulled out of her and lay behind Chaewon, placing a few kisses on her shoulders.
"Come ride me, my love," you whispered in her ear.
Chaewon quickly pulled away from Eunchae and straddled you, taking your cock straight and impaling herself on it in a single motion that made you both moan. She placed her hands on your chest, and with her face only inches from yours, she began to rapidly move her hips to fuck herself against you.
Eunchae snuggled up close to you, making you turn around for a kiss. You gasped against her lips, and she caressed your abdomen. Chaewon then began to go faster, straightening her back to jump on your cock. Eunchae knelt right next to her, and returning the favor, began to kiss both her neck and her tits until she came.
Chaewon's nails dug into your abdomen as her slim, sexy body writhed on top of you, her hips grinding back and forth with your cock buried deep inside her. Soon, she got off of you, and Eunchae lay down next to you again, this time on her side. You turned toward her, and with her back pressed against your chest and your arms wrapped around her body, you went back inside her pussy.
Your lips and Eunchae's met again, this time in a fiery, heated kiss. Chaewon lay in front of her, intertwining their legs together as you fucked her pussy with hard, deep pumps. A few seconds later, you broke away from Eunchae's lips and brought Chaewon's face closer. Eunchae tilted her neck toward you, enough so the three of you could share a sloppy three-way kiss.
"Oh my fucking god, I'm going crazy," Eunchae moaned, breaking away from the kiss. "Keep going, oppa... god, keep going, keep going!"
You planted one foot on the mattress and gripped Eunchae's waist, slamming your pelvis against her buttocks and making her whimper in pleasure until she came in a maelstrom of moans and little whimpers. The way her pussy clenched around you made you moan and realize how close you were to cumming too.
"Eunchae, I'm really close..." you gasped, squeezing her against you as she writhed in pleasure. "Where...?"
"Out, oppa, please," Eunchae replied with a moan, clutching your forearm. "Not inside."
Exactly the response you expected. You buried your face in her neck, making her feel your hot, labored breathing as you resumed the rhythm in and out of her. Eunchae reached behind her and gripped your head, tugging at your hair. A minute later, you moaned as you felt that delicious tingle travel down to your lower region, and just before cumming, you quickly pulled out your cock, pressed the tip against her ass, and masturbated until you exploded.
"Mmmh fuck!" you groaned, squeezing Eunchae tightly against you as you shot a thick load that stained her waist and hips, and completely filled her ass.
"Mmm," Eunchae moaned, watching you cum, stroking your hair. "It feels so warm against my skin..."
"Let me do you a favor," Chaewon said, kneeling up to bend over Eunchae's ass and wipe your cum off with her tongue while it was still coming out from your tip. "Stay still."
Chaewon did an impeccable job cleaning every stained spot on Eunchae's skin, and when she was done, she brought your cock to her mouth to suck every inch slowly. When she left you glistening, with only a light layer of saliva, she lay down next to Eunchae, staring at the ceiling.
Silence then reigned in the room, your breathing slowly returning to normal. A while later, Chaewon sat up, covering her breasts with a blanket, and looked at you.
"This is the first and last time this happens, okay?" she asked. "You know exactly why."
"I know," you nodded, part of your head resting on Eunchae's. "You can trust me."
"Very well. The ship will stay afloat, then."
"Look on the bright side, we've already taken a step. It's one less weed to cut."
"Oppa... unnie," Eunchae said in a small, tired voice. "Please don't let the others find out about this. I'm a little embarrassed that they'll get that image of me."
You hoped Sakura and Yunjin weren't paying attention to the noise because of how high they must be, because otherwise, they would surely have realized it was two pairs of moans, not just one, and immediately associated it with Eunchae.
"They won't, sweetie," you replied, stroking her hair. "Don't worry."
You then felt a calmness you hadn't felt in a long time. HYBE's letter was still pounding in your head, but patching things up with Chaewon and putting Eunchae back in line was definitely a turning point you were grateful for.
Chaewon stood up and began searching for her clothes with slow movements. You stared at her, noticing a big change in her expression. Her anger and resentment had definitely disappeared. Eunchae, for her part, just squeezed your hand with her eyes closed, relaxing.
Then your phone rang with a notification. You looked for it, but the noise had come from the floor. Chaewon ended up passing it to you, and you sighed in relief when you read what you'd received.
"What's wrong?" Chaewon asked.
"HYBE postponed the meeting to Monday. We have time to sort this whole mess out."
Chaewon mimicked your sigh, putting on her panties and T-shirt.
"Thank the Lord," she said, lying back down.
Eunchae sat up a minute later and got out of bed to find her clothes. Her cheeks were still flushed, and she glanced at you, embarrassed.
"I'm... sorry about the beer, oppa," she said, putting on her panties and bra. "And everything. I promise to improve and help you with the others. To... I don't know, make them reconsider."
Chaewon nodded, a proud little smile on her face, a mirror of yours.
"Thanks, Manchae," you said, watching her get dressed and imitating her, putting on your boxers and sweatpants. "I really appreciate it."
"It’s nothing. But can we take a nap?" she asked, already dressed. "I'm exhausted."
As soon as she said that, Chaewon got closer to you and cuddled up to you.
"Yes, but he's mine," Chaewon said. "You lie down over there," she pointed to the other side of the bed.
Eunchae rolled her eyes, shook her head, and lay down with you two.
But not even five minutes had passed when you heard a sudden commotion in another room: music now playing incredibly loudly. The ones responsible? Probably Bob Marley and Willie Nelson.
You sighed against Chaewon's back, realizing you had a lot of work to do.
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yasministration · 3 days ago
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snobby slytherin princess - sirius black
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summary: there's something about a snobby slytherin princess that sirius black cannot resist. so when you get into an argument with rabastan lestrange and let it slip that sirius black would have a better chance at marrying you, the boy springs into action. wc: 0.8k cw: public argument, pureblood stuff
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Behind the perfect poise and manners all of the sacred 28 had been taught lay a beast of impatience and sass, every pureblood child being pushed to their limits. The marauders hadn’t been expecting to watch a showdown between two pureblooded slytherins on their way to the great hall for lunch, the silence between them a tell-tale of how double potions had gone. But their boredom had been noticed by some higher power, and by some miracle, they ended up two mere meters from you as you strode away from the great hall, a very obviously panicked Lestrange following behind you.
He was calling after you, breaking into a run to catch up with your pace as he pleaded “Don't be so stubborn! Can we please just talk!?” All air was sucked out of the hallway as you came to an abrupt halt, right next to the three boys and Lily, spinning around to face Rabastan.
“You want to talk? Okay, talk!”
Rabastan spluttered, at a loss for words. You scoffed, “Or do you just want me to talk so you can figure out what you did wrong and apologise for it?” Sirius made an impressed sound, but Rabastan was so busy trying to climb out of the grave he dug himself that he didn’t even notice. But it was hopeless; he had crossed the line and had veered into the dangerous terrain of your honest opinions.
“Rabastan, I am not marrying you. Go cry to daddy about it. He’ll have another wife lined up for you by tomorrow night.”
If the marauders weren’t already frozen with shock, they would be now. They had matching expressions on their faces, jaws slack, eyes wide. Sirius, as much as he loved listening to pureblood drama, had no idea about your engagement. Or, your arrangement, should he say.
“But I don’t want another wife, I want you.” It was a desperate attempt, but Rabastan trusted his acting skills. Rabastan’s father would kill him if he knew his son’s behaviour drove the perfect suitor away. Luckily for you, you saw right through him.
You doubled over, a loud laugh escape you, eyes still filled with rage. “No, you don’t! Oh my god! I’d have chosen your brother if I knew how disgusting you were!” Rabastan stumbled back from the force of your words, as though you had struck him. His brother? He didn’t know you or your parents had been given options. He thought his parents had decided to guide you towards the better Lestrange brother — him. He didn’t know that his parents wanted you to marry either one of them.
Shit, he really messed up.
Rabastan stepped closer to you, eyes pleading. He didn’t care how much more he humiliated himself in front of his rivals, he just had to avoid humiliating himself in front of his father. “Just give me one chance, just one.” Your eyes followed the movement of his hand, reaching out to hold yours. Laughing uncomfortably, you reached down with your free hand to remove Rabastan’s hold from you.
“You already had one chance. What, did you think this engagement was actually secured?”
Tilting your head to the side, you held Rabastan’s eye contact, as though challenging him to say another word to you. When he said nothing, you nodded, adding as the final straw “Even Black stands a better chance at this point.”
Rabastan laughed coldly, his innocent front now forgotten as he said “Yeah, Regulus two years younger stands a better chance. Sure.” You smiled sweetly at Rabastan, shaking your head. “No, Rab. Not Regulus.”
You heard Rabastan’s breath hitch in an embarrassing gasp as you spun around on your heels and continued down the hall — but not without catching Sirius Black’s eye first. He was fixing his posture, rolling his shoulders back and clearing his throat. He felt his cheeks go hot at your comment, head turning to follow your disappearing figure.
“Shit, there’s just something I love about a snobby slytherin princess.” His friends’ heads shot towards him, Lily’s face shocked whereas Remus and James both held amused smirks. But just as he stepped aside to follow you down the hallway, two more women made their presences known.
Rabastan turned to face Narcissa and Pandora, throwing his head back as he said “I messed up so bad.” The two women didn’t spare him another glance as they strutted past him. “Yes, you did Lestrange.” Narcissa called out, quickly followed by Pandora’s comment of “And daddy won’t get you a new wife with that attitude!”
“Cissy, you think I can bag her?” Yelled Sirius to his cousin, who very briefly turned her attention to him, shrugging her shoulders. “You know she does quite like a rebel.”
And then, “Not a disrespectful scumbag, Rabastan.”
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