#multiple cat considerations

[mv1simp]

Earned It ♥️

Max Verstappen x Wife! Reader

cause girl you’re perfect, you’re always worth it (I see nobody, nobody but you)

PART TWO HERE ♥️

The story of how you met your husband, Max Verstappen, is a fan favourite. A classic rags to riches Cinderella story - well, in this case, a working class med student with an outrageous loan meets F1 multimillionaire. For years, you two dodge the questions of having kids, due to your busy careers. But lately, your husband can’t stop thinking about a 3rd addition to your family…and no, he didn’t mean another cat.

Content includes: 18+ MDNI, fluff, humour, pregnancy, angst but happy ending, very brief description of sexual harassment (not from Max obviously), simp!Max, brat! reader, smut, size kink, breeding kink (very versatile from me for once), 5.7k WC

Guys, seriously, we’ve talked about this behaviour, you need to be tidier. You look up from your comfortable position on the couch, where you’re typing away one of your research projects, to see your darling husband gently scolding your three pets. You muffle your laughter with your hand, 20karat diamond ring glinting, admiring his toned build as he stands with his hands on his slim hips, reprimanding the two cats - Sassy and Jimmy - and labrador Arlo about the mess they’d made on the patio. Hearing your giggles as you fail to contain yourself, Max turns around, grinning at the pretty sound. All done, schat? Want to go out for some lunch?

You hmm in agreement, standing up to stretch and walking over to him with a cheeky expression. But first I need you to explain just what you’re doing here. You know they can’t understand you right, babe?

Max immediately tells your three so called “kids” to ignore your blasphemous words, making you giggle again at what a dork your husband was. No one would ever guess how sweet and domestic he was with you, compared to the ferocious lion he was when terrorising his rivals on the track. It is a very serious matter, schat, Max says indignantly. You’d let them get away with murder. I’m the only one who upholds any discipline in this household.

You stand on your tippy toes to kiss him lovingly on the cheek to appease him, batting your eyelashes innocently as you say sorry, baby, shall I make it up to you? and any annoyance Max had slips away as he pulls your petite frame against his much larger one to press a kiss to your lips instead. You two had been married for almost two years now, and dating for six before that, but you simply can’t get enough of each other - even now, as your innocent kiss deepens into a steamy make out session that has you panting and grinding against your husband’s thick thighs as he squeezes your plush ass with his large hands. You’re just about to ask him to carry you to the bedroom when your on-call phone rings, signalling an emergency at the hospital. Sorry, baby you say, apologising genuinely this time with a guilty look. I have to get this, go ahead and eat and I’ll make us some dinner when I’m back, ok?

Max reassures you that you have nothing to worry about, and that he’d make dinner of course, you’re going to be tired after sorting out an emergency. Your heart swells at how thoughtful he is of you and your busy career. You give him one last quick kiss before speeding out the door, scrubs on and barking orders over the phone already.

Admittedly, it hadn’t always been like this. When you had started dating, Max had been the considerably busier one - at the peak of his racing career and collecting multiple world championships as if it were child’s play. And the way you met was a classic dinner party story - F1 driver crashes his Ferrari into studious med student. It was hotly debated as to whether the fault lay with him for illegally going 80 in a 40 zone, or with you for walking with your nose buried in a textbook. Regardless, his insane reflexes had slammed on the brakes just in the nick of time to stop any real damage happening, but your textbook had gone flying in the air and straight on top of a passing truck, disappearing for good. You’d been devastated by the loss of it, more concerned with your upcoming final exam rather than any bodily harm, and as Max sprinted out from his car to worriedly ask if you were okay you’d whirled around angrily.

He was immediately struck with your natural beauty, with your pretty caramel skin and full lips and dark curls. Then he realized you were furiously pointing a finger at him and roasting his driving skills. Watch were you’re going! God, what is it with you boy racers speeding through the tiny side streets?

What?! Boy racer? Oh, Max was not going to let this grave insult slide, yelling back that he was a World-class driver, thank you, and you were the one who needs to watch where you’re going cause who reads and walks, that’s just dumb-

You cut him off, demanding to know who he worked for. Uber? Lyft? Monaco Taxi Incorporated? I’ll be sure to leave a scathing Google review, you said hotly.

Max had now realized you had absolutely no clue who he was, so basically he just looked like a complete dickhead - including to all the passerbys who gawked at the incriminating scene of the 6 foot Dutchman childishly arguing with a 5 foot, pouting girl. Deflating, he offers you his insurance information but you rolled your eyes and walked off, muttering about the goddamn Monaco elite in their Ferrari taxis.

He’d forgotten all about you until 6 months later, when he and Lando end up in the emergency department after a padel game gone wrong, only to find you pulling back the curtain - looking for Max, wait, Uber driver Max?! You’d narrowed your gorgeous doe eyes at him, then demanded to know if he was here cause he’d gotten in another hit and run. It was not a hit and run, that is an incredibly misleading statement, Max hissed, ignoring Lando’s goggle eyed stare, cause why on earth was his mate arguing with the pretty doctor who thought he drove for Uber and not F1 World Cup winning team Redbull-

The third time you had run into each other, at a charity ball where both your employers were sponsors, Max was convinced it was fate. Either that, or you were a crazy stalker. But he was, like, 98% sure it was fate as he felt his heart race at the sight of you in a fitted red silk dress and gold stilettos, your short frame still not even brushing his chin. This time round, you knew who he really was, and had an embarrassed flush on your pretty face as you said you know, you could have corrected me, it was a very awkward lunchbreak that day when the nurses starting asking if I’d gotten your signature.

He laughed, finding you adorable, and held out his hand for you to shake, grinning Let’s start over then, shall we? You’d easily returned the gesture, an undeniable spark running up both your arms as you touched. And a few months later, at the exact street where you first met, he pulled out a copy of your missing textbook that you excitedly took, laughing that he remembered only to gasp as you open it to see his messy scrawl - Thanks for not suing me, want to be my girlfriend instead of my victim? And the rest had been history, with you two now blissfully married years later.

Sure, you had your fair share of ups and downs, just like any couple did. Before your marriage, Max’s busy career meant that he was away more often than not, and although it helped that you had a busy life yourself, he knew you missed having him there at home after a long day or by your side at friends’ weddings where you’d have to attend solo. But you never complained, never asked for more because you understood that at this time of his life, his career would be first priority, and always supported him with diligently made meal preps, looking after his cats when he went away, and late night debriefs after arguments with his demanding father, your soothing voice helping calm down the burning anger in his chest.

And although you couldn’t attend every race like the other WAGs, you’d always do your very best to make it. He still grins when he remembers his last Monaco race, where you’d gotten held up in emergency surgery and had sprinted straight to the track, not having time to change into the Chanel outfit you’d sweetly picked out the night before (from a very large pile Max had generously insisted you fund with his black Amex). You’d made it just in time to see him cross the line in P1, and the pictures of you happily crying for his win as you jumped into his arms, still in your scrubs, long curls flying as he whirled you around went absolutely viral on social media. He was glad for it too, because you received so much online hate for not always being dressed like a model and by his side at every event - and knew that deep down, you felt guilty about it, even though it was such an unfair double standard. So he’d framed that famous shot of you and hung it in the entryway, so it would be the first thing everyone would see when they walk in, and understand why Max’s heart swelled with pure love and adoration whenever he looked at you.

So when he had gotten his fill with his eight - eight! - world championships and wanted to spend his Sunday mornings waking you up with his skilled tongue in between your soft thighs instead of on a racing track halfway across the world, he had promptly quit F1 - to the outrage of his father and thousands of fans - and stepped back to coach his own team instead. It was quite an accomplishment, you had thought amusedly when reading the headlines that year, to be known as the woman who had "seduced Max Verstappen to retire and become her trophy husband". Of course, Max stood for none of the media circus, retaining his infamous status as Mad Max when he openly shut down that storyline in a media statement that had blown up, making it clear that this had always been his plan and he would not be tolerating any slander of his beautiful wife whom he loved very much - who, by the way, was now the associate head of the emergency department, had they heard?

As time passed the fans eventually relaxed and enjoyed the new talent that came on, with your husband still a common figure on the paddock as coach. He'd had more time these past two years to look after you now - cooking your favourite meals and meeting you on the hospital rooftop for lunch and making all the nurses blush at how romantic your husband was, picking you up from a late shift in his Ferrari, taking you jewellery shopping in Paris one weekend then stiletto shopping in Milan the next with all your bags in his hands and his Amex in yours, and listening attentively in the living room as you practised your powerpoints on Intracranial Haemorrhage: Do early CAT scans change mortality rates? Your personal favourite gift, though, had to be when he'd brought home a 2 month old golden labrador as your birthday present. You'd always wanted a dog but had never had time for one on top of his two cats - but now, with Max home more often, he was able to look after all 3 of your kids, as you both affectionately referred to them.

And speaking of kids - the topic was something that had increasingly come up over the family events and meetups with friends you two went to. Of course, when it had first been asked, the two of you had dismissed it given there was simply no time with your careers. You religiously used contraception - with you on the pill and Max using condoms everytime. At one point, though, you both realised you rather enjoyed doing it raw - when the condom had broken after a particular rough session post 6th WDC win. Max still remembered your blushing face as he came down from what had been one of the most intense orgasms of his life, already addicted to the feeling of spilling inside you. You had bit your lip, shyly saying you know Maxie, the pill is 99% effective, I don't think we need to use condoms anymore-

He'd cut you off with a pleased growl, sealing his lips back onto yours for Round 2 as the thought of getting to fill you up every night sent all the blood rushing to his cock. Safe to say, there hadn't been a box of condoms in your home for a very long time. But as time passed after your marriage, Max started to feel an unfamiliar desire simmer in his gut everytime he saw you playing with his nieces and nephews, or when he would be showing Daniel's toddler how to operate a racekart, or when he’d finish inside you, watching your eyes roll back in pleasure, and wonder what would happen if you weren’t on the pill. He avoided saying anything as your answer to the kids? question at Family Xmas was still not right now.

But lately he hadn't been able to deny the aching yearn he felt any longer, and especially not when you two had been celebrating Charles' and Alex's pregnancy announcement on their yacht last weekend. You'd looked so happy for the couple, congratulating Alex on her glow and admiring the ultrasound pictures but all Max could think about was how amazing he was sure you'd look carrying his child, how he wanted to have your baby scans on the fridge door and argue over names, how he was sure you would be the most amazing mother to his kids and he couldn’t have picked a better wife. He must have been looking quite jealously at the scene because Charles comes upto him, greeting him with a Hey, mate and a knowing smirk. Max grunts, sipping his G&T, then realises he might be acting in a way you would refer to as "dickhead behaviour", so he also throws in a gruff congratulations.

Charles' is not having it though, having recognised the intensity which Max was staring you down with. You know, he starts, prompting Max out of his one-way thoughts, You could always try bringing it up directly with her instead of expecting her to read your mind, hmm? Max glanced at him side ways. Already practising your fatherly advice? He joked, diffusing the tension, before the conversation moved onto how the new young F1 drivers just didn’t appreciate a good wheel to wheel battle like back in their karting days.

Charles' words stuck with him throughout the week, and one night as you both settled down for bed, he decided it was time to ask. Schatje? he begun, watching you from his position in the bed as you brushed out your damp curls in the mirror, dressed in a cute silk nightie. You hmmed at him, slightly distracted by a tangle in your hair but prompting him to continue. You know, I was, well -whatdoyouthinkaboutgettingpregnant?

You frowned slightly, still distracted by the tangle in your hair. Who, Alex and Charles? I think it's great, they've wanted kids for a while now, right?

Max takes a deep breath, tells himself to stop being a pussy, and walks over to you, taking the comb away as he brushes out the tangle himself. You look at him curiously as he tilts your head up with his large palm, brushing your cheek lovingly as his ice blue eyes meet yours. No, shcat he murmurs gently. I mean us, getting pregnant, having a baby. How do you feel about that?

Your jaw drops open at his words as your brain temporarily stopped working. You feel your face blush from the thought of your husband getting you pregnant. As hot as it sounded, out of all the things, you hadn't expected him to say that. You realise your surprised silence was making Max freak out, the telltale sign of a crinkle between his brows. You scramble to come up with a response, stuttering that Oh, sorry, I hadn't really thought about it, I guess and that we'd both been busy with work for so long it kind of...slipped my mind?

But what do you think, liefje, your husband pressed, hopeful. Do you want to try? You honestly weren't sure, this was all so sudden and you needed a bit more time to process it - but when you told Max this you didn't miss the hurt look that flashes across his face as his insecurities rise up. He asked if the problem was that you didn't want to have kids with him, because how could you possibly not have thought about it, all our friends and family constantly bring it up all the time-

I don't know! you'd responded defensively, arms crossed. We'd been focusing on your racing for so long that I just stopped thinking about stuff like that. The argument had spiralled out of control quickly, Max demanding to know when you were going to stop holding that over him, and when you wanted to think about it then, you two weren't any younger, after all - prompting you to angrily accuse him of always putting his job above yours, because now that he had his fill he was ready to start a family but what about your career?!

You hadn’t been able to stop the tears that dripped down your face as the argument escalated into a full blown fight. Max had sighed seeing that, deflating and saying you should both head to bed for now. You’d lain next to him, feeling so cold without his usual warm bicep pulling you against him, trying to hold back more tears before you drifted into a fitful sleep. Max hadn’t been any better either, only falling asleep in the early hours of the morning and when he woke up, you were already gone. He’d started trying to look for you but then remembered you had a conference in London today you’d had to fly out for - you wouldn’t be back for a week, he reads on the note you’d left on the fridge.

Fuck, it had been a bad night to have such an ugly fight considering you two had left so much unresolved. Later, when he’s visiting his sister’s for dinner and watching her kids with the same burning want in his heart, his mother corners him and demands to know why he had shown up looking like a kicked puppy. Your wife’s been gone one day and you’re already so hopeless? She’d joked, but clearly had a concerned look in her eyes. He couldn’t stop himself then, opening up about the horrible fight. He feels terrible that you had ended up crying, but still can’t help feel that you were being purposely selfish, he explains, after all, we’d be raising the baby together, she can still have her career, no?

His mother had been silent for a while, taking it all in, before she gently reminded Max about how she, too, had been in the peak of her very successful karting career when Jos had gotten her pregnant. Your wife isn’t me, and you certainly are not your father, she said firmly. But she’s scared, Max, it’s not personal. She’s scared she could lose everything she’s spent years building while you get to have it all. It isn’t as easy for a mother to put her career on hold as it is for a father. Even if he’s as loving and caring as you will be, she reassures.

Max looked troubled, then, as your responses last night now started to make sense. God, he was such a terrible husband, how had he not considered that before? Sensing her son’s brain was running at 100 miles a minute, the older woman lays a soothing hand on his shoulder. Just give her some space, Max. Let her come to you. You two will work through this.

So he gives you the space, and 6 days later he’s standing at the arrivals area of the airport, stonily looking out the window at the planes landing but internally fighting a storm of emotions. You two had never had these many days of no contact in your whole marriage, and he’d said some vicious things that night, and what if in the time away you had decided you would be better off without him? His jaw clenched at the idea of losing you. God, maybe he shouldn’t have given you space but spammed your phone, begging for forgiveness. Why was marriage so much more confusing than driving a car at 200kmph?

Suddenly, he hears the click of your familiar YSL heels walking up to him and he turns frantically to see your petite figure come to a stop a few feet away. Your face looks just as troubled as his, but as soon as your eyes meet you can’t control yourself and run forward to jump into his arms. Max welcomes you eagerly, all his tension releasing as he hugs you tightly, broad arms easily lifting you up and pressing his face into your neck to breathe in your perfume. You’re rapidly saying something about how you were so sorry, you had overreacted - You don’t have to apologise for anything, liefje, Max says fiercely, God, I missed you so, so much. I shouldn’t have brought it up so suddenly. Take all the time you need, okay?

You blink back happy tears, heart so full at your understanding husband as you looked up into his blue eyes adoringly before sharing a loving kiss. Passerbys smiled at the sweet scene you two made. Max took you home, one hand carrying your luggage and the other firmly around your waist, as if he was paranoid you were going to disappear. Again, in the car, his hand stayed glued to your thigh, softly stroking it as you told him about your week in London. And then at home, you had to stop him as he got ready to climb into the shower with you, giggling and saying you were starving, baby, did he want to grab some dinner for you two?

He’d pouted, but then perked up excitedly once you promised you two could go for a swim in the pool after dinner instead. Need anything else while I’m out, schat? He asked, grabbing the Ferrari keys. You hesitated, making him turn around, as you blushed a little and said Would you mind grabbing some condoms, Maxie? I forgot to take my pill to London so I haven’t been on anything for a week…

You search his face for any hint that he’s upset you still needed time, but found none, only a gentle expression on his face as he pressed a sweet kiss to your cheek. Of course, schatje, he says lovingly before heading out. You watch him go, a devious smirk now on your face. A part of you felt bad for the game that you were planning on playing with your husband later that evening - but, oh well, you had to have some fun in a marriage, right? And your sweet, darling, perfect husband had passed the test with flying colours tonight, showing his dedication to putting your needs first.

The truth was, you’d also reflected on your marriage and its future in London. You’d thought and thought until you could think no more about whether or not it was time to have kids, if you should even have kids, not because you didn’t want them but because you were so worried about how it would derail the career you’d worked so hard to build. And then you’d remembered how Max would spend hours quizzing you for your residency exams, while you were on the toilet or in the kitchen, making sure you got every answer right and you’d passed with full marks.

Or how you knew you loved Max for the first time, when he had stood by your side and steadied you as you shakily reported to your boss about a supervisor who’d developed a nasty habit of feeling you up at work and barring you from surgeries if you said no. Max had stood by you through it all, his large, gentle hands holding your own, a contrast to the thunderous expression on his face at anyone who tried to give you a hard time when you came forward - and he didn’t ease up until the creep had been permanently stripped of his medical license. Even now, when you’d sometimes shiver at the memory, he’d pull you into his safe arms, murmuring how proud he was of you, schat, you were so brave for speaking up.

You thought about how warm you’d felt seeing Max gently rock his nephew in his strong arms, or how impressed you had been seeing how he taught the kids how to drive a kart, or how devoted he was to your marriage and your three pets, always being there to provide for you and support you however you needed him to be - mentally, physically, emotionally. Max really was the best husband to you, and he’d be the best father to your kids. And you knew you had your answer.

So now, after eating your favourite dinner of Italian pasta, expensive red wine and tiramisu for dessert, you got changed into your bikini, a skimpy pink number Max always enjoyed, and slipped on a gold choker with matching anklets, all adorned with the letter M - a custom made Cartier set he’d brought for you on his birthday, as a gift to himself. The box of condoms he’d picked up lays on the bedside table. You smirk at them as you pass by - they won’t be needed much longer. Not that your husband had any clue of that - yet, and you couldn’t wait to see the expression on his face when he figured out just how you were going to reward his devotion tonight. Picking up a second bottle of wine, you take a good swig and make your way out to the dark backyard where Max is shirtless, the pool’s neon lights reflecting the water droplets that slide down his large, muscular back. Shit, you had to stay extra focused if he was going to be looking so delectable tonight!

He turns as he hears your anklets tinkle, smirking as he takes in your dolled up appearance, all for him. Coming in, schat? He calls huskily, feeling his cock hardening at the sight of you after a whole maddening week away. Just admiring the view, you say cheekily, taking another swig from the wine and slowly stepping into the pool. You can feel your husband’s hungry gaze sliding up your curvy body, and you shiver, feeling rather like a deer caught in a lion’s trap even though you were the one playing games tonight. You come to a stop in front of him, your head barely reaching his upper chest, giving him a generous view as your tits spilled around the tiny bikini. You sultrily gaze right into his darkening blue eyes as you take yet another sip of the wine, your pink tongue darting out to circle the tip of the bottle in quite the slutty manoeuvre. Missed you, Maxie you say coyly. Especially missed having you inside me.

He growls lowly at your teasing, easily taking the bottle off you and downing the rest before discarding it to the side. You whine as he puts a stop to your antics, pouty lips and large doe eyes staring up at him invitingly. Chuckling, he places a large palm across your ass and lifts you up against him. Your thighs wrap themselves around his toned waist and your hands tangle in his soft hair, gently tugging on the strands just the way he likes it. Now face to face, you tease him further, whispering in his ear about how lonely you’d been while away, how normally you’d call him and have him talk you through an orgasm, and how your tiny fingers hadn’t been able to make you cum all week because you needed his thick ones to stretch you open.

Fuckkk, schat, Max breathes, feeling his cock grow impossibly hard, his blue eyes completely darkened by lust. I missed that filthy little mouth of yours so much. He glides his thumb along your pink lips and you part them easily, taking him in and swirling your tongue around him. He can’t hold himself back any longer, pulling you in and replacing his thumb with his tongue. You moan into the dirty kiss, running your hands along his muscular shoulders, addicted to the feeling of his strong, thick biceps caging you against him. Your bikini strings are deftly untied as he practically rips it off of you, breaking the kiss to lean you back and suck on your pretty nipples. You squeal as he gently bites down, murmuring maybe you shouldn’t have been such a cocktease, schat.

You’re now grinding your pussy against his abs, begging him for more, please, Maxie and asking him to take you to bed. He smirks at how easily you fall apart under his tongue, squeezing your ass as he carries you inside, always giving you what you wanted like the devoted husband he is. You two have no regard for the sheets as you drip water all over them, foreplay long forgotten as your bikini bottoms are yanked off, followed by his trunks. You’d honestly forgotten about the damn condoms by this point but Max hadn’t, hurriedly ripping open a packet with his teeth as you whine at him to hurry up, Maxie, I can’t take it- Oh!

You moan blissfully as he buries himself inside you. Feels like coming home everytime, schat, he breathes out as he holds his position for a few beats before he starts thrusting into you. Holy shit, that felt sooo good. You didn’t think you were going to last very long at all - putting a time limit on your plan. You let him get a few more thrusts in you before you start begging again, this time asking Maxie, wait, can-can we please take the condom off?

He looks down at you in surprise, saying you hadn’t been on the pill this week schat, it’ll be risky-

Oh, your darling husband still hadn’t caught on to your suprise, and as you whine that it’s okay, you can just pull out, right Maxie? you almost giggle from the strained expression on his face as he considers that feat of self restraint. But he wasn’t going to say no to you, not when you were below him with your lush dark curls spread around you and looking up at him so adoringly, so he reaches down and pulls the condom off and sinks back inside you.

Shit. He swears at the vice grip you have his cock in, one hand automatically going to grasp the headboard to try and maintain some control and ground himself. But you’re begging for more and it feels so good to be back inside you, raw, feeling your slick heat up on his thick cock that his thrusts start getting sloppier. He’s panting above you, both hands now gripping the headboard to hold himself back from the urge to cum inside you.

Your devilish eyes don’t miss this, and you grab his thick wrists to pull them down so his hands rest on your bouncing tits, begging him to play with them, please. Oh, shit, he feels his orgasm quickly approaching from your positively filthy demands tonight. But as he starts to pull back you wrap your legs around him tightly, keeping him in place as you make your final demand - Noo, Maxie, don’t pull out, you can come inside me, it’s ok-

Perplexed, knowing he can break your grip around him in half a second, your husband is now very confused as he points out with gritted teeth that no condom and no pill and no pulling out meant-Yes, yes, I know! You whine impatiently. I want it Maxie, I’m ready now, come inside, I want to get pregnant!

Max pauses above you, this time being the one to have his brain function temporarily suspended as he slowly figures out just what you’re saying. Are you sure, schat-

You roll your eyes, sinking yourself down onto his cock, making him moan, and hoping he gets the message. Oh, I’m definitely sure, dear husband, you say sultrily. Now, are you going to fuck a baby into me or what?

He finally clicks, his confused gaze now morphing into pure joy as he grins down at you, and you can’t help but grin back, the two of you finally ready to progress into the next step of your marriage together. He pressing a gentle kiss to your lips, catching you off guard. You know I love you right, schat? He murmurs, and you nod, confused where he was taking this. Good, cause I’m about to fuck you like I hate you. That was a dirty game you played, yeah? Edging me all night when you were gonna let me fuck you raw all along. Gonna have to punish you real good for that. He growls darkly, his large hand coming to squeeze your throat, making you gasp in delight.

Oh, you loved when Mad Max came out to play. Your legs are tossed over his shoulders and then pressed all the way back against your soft tummy, into a mating press. The unfamiliar position has you screaming in pleasure, your anklets dangling by your face as he thrusts his way back into you. Your husband chuckles wickedly at your reaction, pumping into you deeply and making the headboard bang against the wall each time.

And true to his word, he punishes you thoroughly, not stopping despite your overstimulated pleas as you repeatedly orgasm, instead cumming inside you over and over and over again, leaving you obscenely full with his thick load.

And when you finally pass out into blissful darkness, he meanly fucks you awake again, demanding that you take another round from him like the good little wife you are, aren’t you, so obedient for me, hmm? Gonna fuck you stupid until you’re finally pregnant with my kids, like you always should have been.

Safe to say, you didn’t get much sleep that night, or for many nights after 💖

��————————————————————————

UPDATE: PART TWO out now!!

A/N: damn this is a whole ass essay. I love simp husband max so much tho I couldn’t help it 🥺might make a part 2 about the pregnancy and protective max hehe if people like this! Lmk what you think 🫶🫶

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Feedback please - accessible zoo tour design for low-vision feedback

Hey folk, some colleagues reached out to me this morning with ideas for making a special tour at their facility so it can be accessible to people with visual impairment/low vision. Since that's not my wheelhouse, I offered to ask the tumblr community.

So here's what's up: this is a medium-sized facility with a lot of big and small cats, and they're trying to find a way to make visiting more successful for people with visual impairment. (Especially because cats camouflage so well and hide most of the time). They're thinking about setting up a private tour experience and want to make sure they do it well.

If you are visually impaired or have low vision, I'd love to hear from you about what things would a) make an accessible tour appealing to you and b) what are common accessibility pitfalls that should be taken into consideration, and c) what cost would seem reasonable / what would you pay for something like this?

The current idea is:

Private golf cart tour (the walking surfaces aren't paved), multiple hours of time, ability to stop at habitats where animals are visible for prolonged periods

Led or accompanied by a staff member who can encourage the cats to move closer to the viewing area

Bringing pelts / skull replicas / other biofacts along on the tour for tactile interpretation at habitats

The possibility of a private "close encounter" added at the end for an additional cost (no direct contact, but ability to approach an ambassador and learn about them without fences).

Thanks in advance to everyone who is up for giving their input! I'll pass feedback along to the facility. and you can always PM me if you don't want to comment publicly.

[tomikashii]

PLS MAKE THE GHOULS REACT TO MC WORKING IN A MAID CAFE OR WEARING A MAID OUTFIT

tokyo debunker : the ghouls reacting to you wearing a maid outfit !

to anon : THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK!!! SUCH A CUTE CONCEPT !!!! hope you enjoy it hehehehe 💗💗💗 (SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG !!)

⚠️ : some are a little suggestive (?) so minors dni ! 🙏🏻

context : you as the new darkwick inspector was roped into helping professor hyde's newest suggestion for a school annual festival : a maid cafe.

how did the ghouls react ?

frostheim

jin kamurai

didn't enter the cafe but saw the post on the wickhive, posted by kaito.

eyes widen when he saw you in the maid dress, barely covering your mid thigh, with fluffy cat ears.

started daydreaming you in the maid outfit serving him in his room. (he is really taking this into consideration)

btw, he shut down the entire maid cafe and reported kaito's post multiple times (after he screenshotted it of course) so that wickhive will take it down. 🫢

tohma ishibashi

“oh my, what is this ?” he stares abit longer than usual when he saw you running around the cafe, helping out.

his mind could not stop going back to your form, wearing a maid attire with the skirt reaching your mid thighs and shoulders exposed.

berates himself internally for being indecent and starts keeping himself busy. (peep that small blush on his face) 🫣

oh and he teases you indirectly from time to time, to show that its burn and itched into his memory

lucas errant

thinks you look very cute actually, with the maid outfit on.

would want to wear matching butler outfits with you so that you wouldn't feel awkward working in the cafe.

took a photo with you too ! put it in a photo album in his room, so that he would occasionally look over at the memory. 🥹

occasionally gaze over at you when you serve people in the outfit, with a hint of blush on his face. (as long as you are in his line of vision to protect you)

kaito fuji

GOOD LORD! he fainted at the sight. nosebleed and everything. 😩

when he regained his consciousness back, he almost fainted again on how CUTE YOU LOOK!

took alot of photos of you and together. PUT IT AS HIS WALLPAPER EVEN. (#1 SUPPORTER)

tries to chase the guys away who tried to hit on you when you are running around the cafe.

vagastrom

alan mido

confused on the maid cafe concept but immediately started short circuiting when he saw you in the outfit.

how did he see ? he saw leo flaunting the photo of you infront of him and sho.

actually visited the cafe after that and says its cause he needed to meet you for something & vagastrom garage is ‘NOT SAFE FOR YOU’. (WHAT A LIAR) ☺️

was really awkward trying to talk to you in a straight face and avoided you for a few days after that because he couldn't keep that image of you in the maid outfit out of his mind.

leo kurosagi

“wow, you look stupid!~” he says as he snaps alot of photos of you in the outfit.

makes tiktok content about it (made like 5 different videos about it)

trust me, he stares back at the pictures and looked away scoffing ‘on how stupid you look’. (okay leo OKAY) 🙄

TEASES YOU SO MUCH AFTER THAT !!! he even had the audacity to treat you like a maid after that lol (you beat him up)

sho haizono

“wow senpai-” he teases. such a tease.

would sit in the cafe to tease you and order drinks from you specifically. smiles even harder when you address him as master.

after leaving, he stares at the pictures of you or with him that he took and smiles. 🤭

“so wheres the maid outfit ?” he asks, after the festival was over, making you want to punch him.

jabberwock

haru sagara

was very impressed on how it good it looks on you (he was internally thanking professor hyde)

sat down in the cafe and watched you work with peekaboo. sneakily glances at your shoulders and skirt before looking away, chuckling.

blushes a little when you greet him and called him ‘master’. MAKING YOU BLUSH TOO 😭

another one who stares at the pictures for 1000 years and actually suggested if you could wear it around the park, to attract customers. (no, its so that he can look at you.)

towa otonashi

compliments you alot actually when he saw you wearing the outfit.

gets jealous when he saw other people seeing you wear it so he decided to kidnap you to jabberwock.

cuddles you there and makes sure that he was the only one who can see you in that oufit.

takes a mental picture and keeps it in his mind forever as he cuddles you in the grass.

ren shiranami

actually caught you by chance when you were heading around the campus promoting the maid cafe. bursts out laughing and then realises how revealing it was. 🤦🏻‍♀️

encourages you to report professor hyde for harrasment and child labour.

when he realises that you did it willingly, he stops and never looks at you ever. (because he keeps staring at your shoulde— WHO SAID THAT)

couldn't keep it out of his head for awhile and mentally curses himself for being a pervert.

sinostra

taiga hoshibami

“kitty-cat becomes a maid?” he raises an eyebrow when he saw a group of sinostra students exchanging photos of the maid cafe and saw you.

actually barged in there to see you standing there, mid service, stunned with wide eyes. then he stares at your figure.

another who kidnaps you. he brought you to sinostra's casino and place you on his lap.

makes you wear another outfit next time when he plays poker again. (it was an erotic cat suit-)

romeo lucci scorpio

wasn't phased. (no he was, he just wouldn't show it infront of you)

berates you for wearing cheap maid clothing when he can provide for high quality ones.

actually angrily blushing behind you and sat down in the cafe. (because professor hyde told him to, he says)

observes you in silence, drinking the tea while watching you work. (he is taking a mental picture so that he can make you wear that in sinostra, maybe you can finally attract customers)

ritsu shinjo

actually was so shock. came to look for you and heard that you were here. didn't expect you to wear a full maid outfit.

as you sat opposite him and started discussing, his eyes trailed to your shoulders before looking away and awkwardly coughing.

says to take a picture so that he could record it as evidence. (no it was not)

occasionally glanced over at the picture, and cracking a small smile at the myster diner, making ren confused from the counter.

hotarubi

subaru kagami

compliments you alot, saying how it suits you. even sits in the cafe and giggles a little when you call him master.

don't mention the tint of red cheeks when you do so though. he is already nervous from your outfit.

took a photo together with you and treasures it alot. (he keeps staring at it AW)

there was a dark glint in his eye when he saw how some guys were hitting on you in the outfit.

haku kusanagi

“wow princess, i thought this was for me only ?” you roll your eyes.

APPRECIATES THE VIEW. he is not ashamed watching you work and staring at your entire form running around the cafe with a smirk.

smirks even harder when you called him master (bros enjoying this abit too much) literally calls you every second he can so that he can hear you call him that.

teases you after that. “what happened to haku-sama?” he will not let that go. ever.

zenji kotodama

another one who compliments you !

floats around the cafe to watch you work and keep an eye on you. (making sure that you are safe)

he is a little worried though, because your outfit is a little revealing and weird men will hit on you.

so he sends the doll after them. (imagine the doll chasing whoever down the corridor and the other staff members and customers just look in confusion).

obscuary

edward hart

found out through wickchat. smiles to himself when he saw your outfit and posing infront of the outfit with the other staff.

well, its not like he has never seen you in one before, you went on a mission with him, wearing it too.

actually starts imagining you serving him in a maid outfit. that specific maid outfit. (he bought it online.) yes, he was tempted to buy the sexy ones.

so don't be surprised when you come over, he expects you to wear the uniform and calls him master as you serve him.

rui mizuki

compliments you so many times and called you the entire dictionary of beautiful and cute.

takes pictures of your every step and would order alot from your cafe so that he can see you come to him and call him master.

dies everytime you call him that too.

“but i wore a maid outfit before with you- THIS IS DIFFERENT!” he protested when you asked him on his behaviour.

lyca colt

doesn't know what a maid cafe is so when he entered with subaru, he got the shock of his life when he saw the staff, specifically you, running around the cafe in that attire.

“WHY IS THE UNIFORM SO SHORT ? I THOUGHT IT WAS LONGER ?” he exclaims, looking at subaru for reassurance. (subaru had to explain that there were different types)

brain shortcircuted when you addressed lyca as master, almost making him pass out from stress (and embarrassment)

avoided you for a few days because his brain is filled with you in the maid outfit.

mortkranken

yuri isami

he is a victorian man who is reacting like he saw a women bare ankles for the first time. blushes furiously and claims that you were trying to seduce him ! 🗣️

question: how did he see you in that outfit ? you were helping a staff get to mortkranken because she got hot oil on her arm. (and it was pretty bad)

his cheeks were red as he tried to be nonchalant and professional, dressing the staff's wound and try not to look at you. (even sent you outside)

literally for the first time, look through wickhive to see your photos in the outfit. he forced back a smile (i guess we can say, he thinks you look pretty cute in the outfit)

jiro kirisaki

not phased. not suprised. doesn't care. he be like “oh okay 😐”. he has seen you wearing it before anyways so what's new ?

he would unconsciously stare at you for a little longer than usual. watching as your form, smaller than his run around the room.

if you are pretty close with him, he might remember the outfit for awhile and occasionally let out a soft smile.

but would think the outfit is abit impractical because its off-shoulders and theres alot of frills that can easily be stuck anywhere. (if you squint hard enough, theres slight jealousy)

[crushmeeren]

Can you do kenma x f!reader

Story:

Reader is drunk (and honry), so she starts dirty talking to kenma, and he gets really flustered, and they end up

👉👌👉👌👉👌💦💦

Yeah 🫶😭

Hell yes I can! I’m SO happy you asked for this friend! I’ve been trying to challenge myself and write for more than MHA so this came at the perfect time.

Master List Link

Kenma / Fem Reader.

Everybody involved is aged up/18+.

Warnings; consensual drunk sex, some subby Kenma and he definitely has a praise kink, riding, unsafe sex 𓆩☠︎︎𓆪

Kuroo’s laughter abruptly crackles through Kenma’s headset and god — he wants to reach through his console and strangle the cat looking motherfucker for making them lose…again.

Kenma takes a fortifying breath and seriously considers why he even tries to play video games with Kuroo, knuckles turning white from gripping the controller so violently.

“Kuroo, why the fuck are you still so bad at this game? We’ve played it a million times!”

“Hey! I’m not that bad, I have one ultimate move and you know that!”

There’s a pout in his voice and his dramatics make Kenma’s eyes roll so hard he thinks he could catch a glimpse of his brain.

“Really? Because from where I’m sitting you’re unnecessary deadweight. I would prefer to play with Bokuto and his build is even worse.”

Kuroo’s over the top gasp and protests fall on deaf ears when Kenma notices a familiar vibration pattern go off against his thigh. His gaze flickers to where his phone rests on the couch cushion beside him and he picks it up, lips stretching into a sweet smile when your name lights up his home screen.

If Kenma’s being honest, he’d been waiting for your text all night. You’d gone out with a few friends for a girls night only and playing with Kuroo was starting to bore him considerably.

You’d let him know you’d be home in about 25 minutes. Kenma bites his lower lip as he reads, beyond amused at the multiple spelling errors and way too many spaces between words in your text.

Yeah, he’s certain you’re wasted.

He types out a quick reply, pocketing his phone in his sweatshirt and tunes back into Kuroo’s irritated voice when he asks if Kenma had been listening to a single word he’d said.

The answer is a resounding no.

You wave goodbye to your friends with a delighted laugh bubbling out of your chest as the Uber drives off down the road. A few hands stick out of the open window to wave back and you grin.

Kenma had offered to pick you up but you were drunk, and for some reason the thought of being separated from your girls in the Uber had made you want to sob.

So, there you are, squinting at your front door as you try to shove the key into the lock. Your fingers don’t seem connected to your brain and your skin is sweltering underneath your clothes. You glance up at the night sky in frustration before the key finally slides home and you sigh in relief.

Once you open the door you’re blasted with frosty air and your shoulders shake with a pleasant shiver. You’re so happy to be home.

Looking further in to the living room you spot your husband reclining on the couch, feet kicked up on the coffee table in front of him. He holds his phone in one hand and turns his head in your direction as you let the door fall shut behind you.

His eyes crinkle when he smiles at you and there’s a softness in his gaze that makes your breath stutter in your chest.

He looks……angelic. Kenma is dressed in an oversized cream sweatshirt with some game logo you don’t recognize on it, silky black athletic shorts and white ankle socks. So nothing new, and maybe you’re drunker than you thought because the sight is stealing the breath from your lungs.

You’re yanked towards him like a magnet, feet shuffling you across your living room before you even realize you’re moving and you smile so hard the apples of your cheeks ache.

“Hey baby, how was your night?” he asks, trying to stifle a laugh when you trip on the edge of the coffee table. He tucks a lock of hair behind his ear and you melt down next to him at the cute display.

“Hi,” you breathe, giggling and resting your head on the back of the couch with a dopey smile. “It was so much fun Kenma! I do wish you could’ve been there though.” The smile melts off your face and your expression morphs into a pout, lower lip pushing out. He arches an eyebrow at you.

“It was a girls night. Besides, being out in a noisy bar is not my idea of a fun time. Talking to people is exhausting enough as it is.”

You lean in close to whisper to him.

“Hmm, I know you’re an inside cat Kenma, but I still wanted to dance with you. Plus, you are pretty like a girl.”

Kenma sputters, gaze darting to the floor before focusing back on you. “You’re just drunk.”

“Well, yes but I’m not that drunk.”

Kenma snorts a laugh and pulls his feet off the table. He rests them on the floor and sits up straight, willing his blush away as he tilts his head to stare down at you with a teasing smirk. He shifts closer and presses a chaste kiss to your forehead.

You hum, and in lieu of an answer you pull away from him. His brows knit together and he eyes you suspiciously.

“What are you doing?”

“Taking off my shoes! I’m gonna straddle you because I’ve been thinking about riding you on this couch all night.”

Kenma doesn’t respond right away and when you finally manage to toe off your shoes, twisting to face him, his cheeks have finally given in and are now dusted with a blush, lips parted slightly while he watches you.

He always gets flustered when you speak so boldly.

You wink at him, maneuvering until you can throw a leg over his hips and settle down heavily in his lap. Kenma’s hands automatically grip the exposed skin your thighs where your dress bunches up.

“Have you?” He asks with a flat tone, but it’s clear your words are getting to him by the way he tilts his head back onto the couch and sneaks his hands up under the hem of your dress to paw at your fleshy hips.

You moan softly when he squeezes you and you nod, licking your top lip lazily and resting your hands on his shoulders. His cock twitches in his shorts and you can easily feel it against your inner thigh.

“You’re just so, so pretty Kenma. I missed you so much.”

His eyelids flutter briefly from the praise and he shifts his weight, tugging you closer until you place your forehead on his.

“I missed you too. Playing with Kuroo was so boring, he sucks.”

“Yeah?” You rub your nose over his. “I bet that pretty cock of yours missed my pussy too, didn’t it baby?”

Kenma’s rosy blush travels down his neck and vanishes under his collar. “Yeah, o-of course.”

You giggle, twirling a string from his sweatshirt around your finger and rolling your hips to drag your panty covered pussy along the length of his cock. He’s as hard as marble now and you reach down to adjust him until the slick tip pokes out of his waistband before continuing to tease him.

He pushes his hips up impatiently to meet your movements, applying pressure to your swollen clit that’s just right and pleasure pulses through your pelvis as you both moan. You pause briefly to push his sweatshirt up to his ribs, leering at his lean stomach and barely there happy trail.

“That’s my boy Kenma, so good for me and so beautiful too,” you say with a breathy sigh. “Should we live stream a video of you like this? You blush so sweetly and your fans deserve to know just how much of a pretty boy you are. How you get so eager for my pussy.”

Kenma squeezes his eyes shut as a lusty moan punches from his chest. “Shit — baby fuck, don’t say that. Jesus, just take your dress off please. I need to see you.” His eyes flash back open, pupils dilated wildly as he pushes your dress up and off you before you can even answer.

You weren’t wearing a bra and your tits bounce gently onto your rib cage. Your husband’s eyes widen before going half lidded, bottom lip sucked behind his teeth as he smoothes his hands up and down your sides.

He gawks at you as if he means to devour you and a thrill races down your spine. The thick alcoholic fog that was clouding your mind has cleared considerably and your only goal is to get what you’ve been craving, the thought echoes like a chant through your mind.

“I’ll never get over the way you look at me when you see my tits.”

Kenma glances up at you in surprise but then you’re kissing him in the next breath. He makes a soft sound of pleasure and tilts his head to kiss you even deeper, biting at your bottom lip and swallowing the moan you give him.

You reach down as you kiss, hooking your fingers in his waistband and tug at the material restlessly. Kenma lifts his hips, allowing you to yank his shorts and briefs down to mid thigh. His cock bobs free and you break the kiss, chest rising and falling deliberately as you squeeze his shoulders.

He traps the tip of his tongue between his teeth and slips your panties to the side when you lift up to your knees. He steadies his cock at the base with his free hand and slides his soft cock head along your clit until you jolt. It parts your lips, catching at the right angle and then you’re sinking swiftly down until your ass meets his thighs without any resistance from your drooling pussy.

The stretch curls your toes in your socks and Kenma throws his head back with a choked off gasp, strands of dark hair sticking to the side of his sweat slick temples. You shift your weight, adjusting to the sensation of being stuffed full and use his shoulders for leverage to lift up halfway before sitting back down.

“Oh! Fuck, you’re always so tight baby. I can’t believe how well you take me,” he says through gritted teeth, rolling his lithe hips up into you because he can’t bare the thought of sitting still any longer.

The first motion makes your finger tips tingle, a surge of warmth churning in your belly as his cock drags deliciously along the inside of your pussy.

“Kenmaaa,” you whine, bouncing in shallow movements on his lap. He hears your unspoken plea and grips your ass, nails creating indentations as he pushes you upwards and lets you fall back down. A low moan spills from you as you hang your head, keeping up at that steady pace with him until your thighs start to burn.

Your sensitive tonight, and a knot winds up tight in lower pelvis faster than you’d like as Kenma studiously keeps his gaze locked on where you swallow his cock whole each time.

Your pussy flutters and Kenma’s eyes flit to your face, taking note of the way your jaw hangs open and your brows pull together as you pant shallowly.

“You’re gonna cum aren’t you baby?”

You nod frantically. “Yes! Please Kenma don’t stop, your cock is so good,” you moan, falling forward to grip the couch on either side of his head.

Kenma halts your motion mid air with a strong grip and you whine at the loss of friction.

“Hold still.”

And then he’s bracing his feet on the floor and thrusting up into you at a brutal pace, one hand on your hip and the other moving down to rub uncoordinated circles into your slippery clit with his thumb.

You cry out his name and the sloppy pressure on your clit is enough to push you over the edge. The muscles in your thighs tense and your mouth opens in a silent scream, Kenma moaning brokenly as he tries to keep his pace.

You’re barely coming down from your high when he jerks you down into his lap, cock kicking and upper half curling forward to shove his forehead against your shoulder as he cums with a gasp.

You slump forward into his chest, bodily squishing him into the couch and pillowing your cheek on his shoulder.

Kenma’s heart thunders in his chest while he catches his breath, rubbing your lower back soothingly and relaxing into the post orgasmic haze settling over both of you.

It’s silent in the background, save for whatever show Kenma had playing before and an undetermined amount of time passes by before you sit up with a coy smile and lock eyes with him.

“Wow Kenma, all this time I knew you had a praise kink but I didn’t realize just how much you love being called a pretty boy. Maybe you should ride me next time?” You tease.

He scrunches his nose up and spanks the side of your thigh sharply in retaliation. You toss your head back in laughter until he huffs loudly, shoving you off his lap onto the couch and tucking himself away.

You laugh even harder, leaping up and stumbling after him with half hearted apologies falling from your lips as he stomps off childishly towards the bedroom.

[devildomwriter]

Wrap Me Up | Lucifer x Reader

1K Word Count | GN! Reader | CW: Very suggestive

Ribbons and bows scattered the floor of Lucifer’s room as you sat crossed leg in the middle of the mess.

Lucifer needed to wrap his brothers’ gifts and he was only just now able to get around to it. After this he could try to relax and enjoy what was left of the holiday season Diavolo forced upon him another consecutive year.

Lucifer pulled more boxes from his closet and sat them down next to you. He got on his knees with a sigh and began sorting the gifts into piles with their corresponding wrapping paper next to them.

Mammon’s wrapping paper was plain, just golden and shiny. Leviathan’s was anime-themed and something he special ordered for Lucifer to wrap his presents in. Satan’s wrapping paper had cats sitting on books. Asmodeus had multiple ones that matched his aesthetic; he’d also picked them out for himself—there was shiny pink, soft pink with white polka dots, and white with pink polka dots. Beelzebub’s paper was just brown and plain since he’d sniff out the food anyway and had no need to identify his gifts by visual means. Belphegor’s paler had the constellations of the Devildom.

You began moving some things aside so Lucifer would have enough room to roll out the paper and he found himself smiling at your consideration even though he wasn’t looking forward to wrapping everything.

Lucifer double-locked his door so his brothers wouldn’t barge in and spoil the Christmas surprise. Christmas may be a new concept for them but the idea of a great surprise was already hardwired into them so as the diligent brother he was, he wouldn’t let them ruin it for themselves.

Both Asmodeus and Mammon had already tried to enter and became extremely suspicious of you being in the room with him until Lucifer and you both explained what you were really doing.

Lucifer felt his headache coming back as now Beelzebub tried to enter the room. You quickly sent him away and Lucifer felt himself beginning to relax just as quickly as he’d stiffened up.

You looked at all the thoughtful presents Lucifer had gotten his brothers and it made you smile to see how much he cared. You knew he did care of course but his brothers had to be punished more often than not so it was easy to lose sight of that fact.

Lucifer saw you smiling at some of the items and prodded you for approval. “Do you think these are fitting?”

You laughed, “You’d know more than I would.”

He sighed and shook his head, “Sometimes I wonder. They’re much quicker to tell you what they want.”

“That’s because it’s my job to spoil them.”

“It’s your job is it now?”

“Mhm. Someone has to be the fun parent.”

He chortled and nodded. “I see. You’re their parent then?”

You nodded, “I may as well be. I feel like I’m taking care of a household of kids.”

Lucifer smiled at the thought someone knew exactly what he was going through but at the same time worried he was burdening you by asking for help.

You read his expressions well enough to know what he was thinking and shook your head, holding your hand up to stop him from saying anything else.

“I’ve got you with me, so that makes it all okay. No matter what they do next.”

Lucifer was touched and thanked you with a faint blush as he began wrapping the first few gifts.

“Tape,” he requested with an outstretched hand and you cut some off for him.

You worked flawlessly together as over two hours you managed to wrap every present. You insisted on wrapping even the smallest ones and he began to wonder if it was so you could keep him a little longer.

You looked at the clock and smiled. “I guess it’s Christmas already, huh? That came so quickly…”

Lucifer nodded. “Thank you, ___, for making this holiday fun for all of us.”

You smiled and blushed. “Well…I’m not done yet…” you confessed and he gave you a curious look.

“Oh?”

“You have one last present to wrap,” you insisted and he watched as you dug through a box of bows and found the perfect one.

You handed him the bow and he stared at it for a moment so you took his hand and placed it atop your head.

“Me. I’m your present,” you said doing your best not to get flustered.

Lucifer took a moment to process what you were saying then gave you a surprisingly genuine smile rather than a flirtatious smirk.

“Yes, you really are,” he agreed and hugged you. “So…what do I get to do with my present exactly?”

You grinned and did your best to maintain eye content. “Whatever you want.”

He raised an eyebrow and grinned, “Anything I want to? Really?”

You nodded and he began leading you across his room.

“Even if I wanted to bring my present to bed? I could do that too?” You nodded so he continued, a sly grin growing.

“What if I wanted to tie your wrists up in ribbons and undress you?” You nodded again, becoming heated as he spoke directly into your ear, hand over your stomach.

“Is that so? What if I wanted my present to unravel in my hands and scream my name loudly enough to wake the house?”

You felt like you’d melt as he continued his fantasies in greater detail. “So…my present would let me stuff my cock in them over and over again until Christmas morning?”

You nodded, your knees weakening as he slowly ran his hand up your leg. You felt his breath against your ear and shivers throughout your body as he gave you a wicked grin.

“I see. In that case, I’ll make thorough use of my generous present... And by the way,” he laughed. “Presents aren’t only valid on the day they’re given…isn’t that right? I hope you know I don’t intend for this to only last a single night.”

[fatkish]

Can you please write the cat demon reader x Giyuu ?? Love ur writing 🙏🙏

Giyuu Tomioka x Cat Demon Reader

You were born with the ability to transform into a cat

You disguise yourself often as a stray cat and use it to your advantage

You’d steal the occasional fish or food from unsuspecting people

You’re a mischievous little scamp and you rely entirely on yourself for survival

Stealing food when you can’t hunt for it is how you got yourself caught by the infamous water Hashira

You were in a small village scoping out for a victim. You were hungry and you just so happened to spy a man who was eating alone

He had ordered fish and was sitting outside, perfect

You snuck up to him in your cat form and jumped up onto the table next to him

You tried to get him to lower his guard but he payed you little to no attention

You began to rub up on him and snuggled into him which finally got you a little bit of affection

Until he picked you up and set you on the ground

You would have attempted to steal his food but then you caught a glimpse of the sword he was carrying

You decided to look for other options to eat

That night you were still looking for a meal when you transformed into your humanoid form

You hide your true form from people because people often mistake you for a demon

You were walking outside the village in a small patch of trees when you were attacked by a demon

You tried to fight it but you were starved and considerably weak

You barely managed to keep dodging the attacks when out of no where, the man from before appeared and beheaded the demon

You had multiple scratches and a few deep cuts on you

You were going to thank the man when he turned to you and raised his sword to attack you

Your ears flattened against your head and your tail went between your legs

You quickly dodged his attack and tried to explain that you weren’t a demon

He continued to attack you and you persisted with dodging

You quickly changed into your cat form and climbed a tree to get away

The man paused and stared at you

Giyuu was questioning what he was seeing and whether it was real or not

Giyuu knew that some demons could transform, but not like this and certainly not to this extent

Giyuu lowered his sword and asked you to come down

You jumped down albeit somewhat reluctantly

You carefully and slowly approached Giyuu, who knelt down and looked you in the eye

When you walked up to him he asked you to transform back into your humanoid form, which you did

Giyuu was able to see that you were bleeding so he bandages your cuts, during this, he was able to see how skinny you were and guessed that you might be malnourished

Giyuu was about to offer to buy you something to eat when your stomach growled, much to your embarrassment

Giyuu lead you back to the village and bought you some Onigiri that you quickly devoured

After that you started to follow Giyuu around

You eventually ended up following him and leaving the village

Giyuu knew that you were following him even though you tried to hide it. Eventually he just asked why you were following him

You told him that no one had ever shown you an ounce of kindness, except him, and that you wanted to repay him by helping or protecting him

Giyuu decided to let you follow him and he let you stay with him, since it’s not like you could find a place of your own given your appearance

You would cook and clean and do the chores, Giyuu actually enjoyed coming home to a warm meal and some company

Whilst he ate, you would lay your head on his lap and purr

Giyuu eventually started to train you and you quickly picked up on his teachings. You became his tsuguko in a way

Eventually, during a pillar meeting you met the other pillars, who were very wary of you, especially Sanemi and Obanai, but given that you were laying down in direct sunlight, they couldn’t really say that you were a demon

The first pillars to accept you besides Giyuu were Mitsuri, because she thought you were adorable, Tengen surprisingly, because he thought you were flashy given your appearance, and Gyomei, I mean the dude loves cats

The Master had sanctioned you and accepted you as a demon slayer, much to your relief

Although you got along with mostly everyone, you tended to stay with Giyuu

Whenever anyone picked on him, (Sanemi and Obanai) you would stick your tongue out at them and tell them off for insulting Giyuu

Whenever Shinobu said mean things to or about Giyuu, you’d defend him and tell him not to listen to her

Giyuu actually appreciates you and cares about you but he doesn’t show it much. He’ll let you rub up on him and he’ll pet you, scratching you behind the ear

[hinge]

Hinge presents an anthology of love stories almost never told. Read more on https://no-ordinary-love.co

[classfelidae]

ETIQUETTE

If you were tagged it’s just a shoutout, don’t panic XD

Hi all, I wanted to make this post to set some gentle boundaries when it comes to my au.

I’ve had a few interactions like this now, and I’d rather make a post explaining my boundaries to prevent it from happening more.

This is not directed at one specific person. It has happened a few times with different people. I may reference experiences but the post in general isn’t directed.

Okay, to the point. Please do not make unsolicited comments criticising my designs/animal pick for characters. Especially if it’s a finished design. If you’re not happy with my choices, you have free will- pick up a pencil and make your own.

This includes backhanded compliments such as “this is cool, but I’d prefer if they were a ___” and “I’ll only see (character) as an (animal) but…”

While they may not be intended as such, these come off as rude and really hurt my feelings. You may know by now that I put a lot of thought and effort into every single design I’ve put out.

There are multiple factors, not just their personality and their looks. I take into consideration the dynamics they have with other characters, their behaviour, the way they move, their trap, etc. Some characters are designed with an overarching motif, for example, Wrath of the Gods (ty to the ppl who corrected me) are based on street animals, vermin, and each character will fall into that category. Adam and Lawrence? Cat and dog dynamic. Hoffman and Strahm? Competitors. Biological enemies. You get the gist.

Either way, I care a lot about my designs and for someone to invalidate them blatantly does hurt my feelings! And it does stick in my head for a while. In short, think about what you’re typing before you hit send. It may mean nothing to you but I assure you it means something to me.

If I am looking for advice on a characters design, I’ll ask for it! Suggestions on these posts are okay! As well as on concept sketches of a new design.

Hoffman was actually down to a vote on my Instagram!

My asks are also open for anyone curious about lore and why I picked an animal for a character etc.

I love talking about it so please ask me!! If I don’t respond to your ask about a specific character it just means I don’t have art of them yet, please don’t think I’m ignoring you out of malice; I have a few asks I yearn to respond to in my inbox rn but I just need to draw something for em!

If you have said something like this and I ask you not to because it’s rude, please just apologise and promise you won’t do it again. Do not argue with me and make me feel stupid/belittle me for my boundaries. That adds salt into the wound and you will be blocked.

I will not dislike you or hate you for a misstep; it’s just about respecting me and my art.

On that note, I don’t condone people comparing my au to other animal AUs, or other artists in general. Do not tell another artist mine is better than theirs or vice versa. That is also rude and frankly, toxic. We are all human beings and deserve to be respected.

Having said all this, I want to say that if you have your own animal au; please don’t be scared to tell me about it! I love hearing and seeing others interpretations of the characters, all are valid in their own unique ways.

I also do not mind if you draw yours interacting with mine, in fact I love it! So don’t be scared to show me.

And lastly, I want to shout out some very cool people that also have animal aus for you all to enjoy!!

These guys are great and their art rocks. Please support them!

@ostendird-oddie

@eldritchx

@littlesapphicraccoonguy

@xxhamtubexx

@w0lfieisdrawing

@dragofelid

@voidfluid

@tatzlyip

(PS, if you were that person with an opossum Adam pls comment cuz I’ll put you here but I forgot ur username WAA)

[honeygrahambitch]

Imagine the following scenario. An FBI agent is badly injured so people from all departments are donating blood. Will briefly mentions that to Hannibal when he refuses to have a glass of wine with him the night before. And it might have been nothing to Will but it was everything to Hannibal.

His Will was donating his blood to a stranger. His blood that he never even got to taste. Hannibal was not sure whether what bothered him was the fact that he saw the procedure a complete waste of such a distinguished liquor or whether he was jealous that some average Joe would have an essence of Will in his veins.

In his veins. The veins which nourish every organ, which lead the blood towards the heart. Blood that is then pumped out again, maintaining all the systems alive. Part of Will would keep another man alive. And that man wouldn't even know.

One of his many trains of thought which was less fatalistic was already contemplating multiple possibilities of stopping this catastrophe from happening.

He could kill the man that night. He already knew his name from Will. News articles would reveal where he was currently treated. Plan B was a bit more abrupt and it involved holding Will hostage. Plan C was...

"You can't."

"What?"

"You suffered from encephalitis. You cannot donate blood."

The statement was similar to Schrodinger's cat, could have been true, could have been false. It was in fact, mostly, a lie. An autoimmune condition, as long as it's kept under control, should not constitute a problem for blood donation.

Hannibal preferred to ignore that detail and maintained a neutral but serious expression.

"I haven't thought about that," Will murmured as he sunk back into the armchair.

Hannibal remained pleased with his quick reasoning.

"I guess I should inform the staff from the hospital they are all a bunch of incompetent fucks for telling me that I can, in fact, donate blood. Very considerate for telling me, doctor."

Hannibal mirrored Will's pose and sank back into his armchair, clasping his hands together. "Is that so?"

"Please," Will said as he leaned forward. "You don't feel comfortable with me donating blood to someone who is not you. It's a situation that you have no control over. And even though you kept a stoic expression on your face, you went through seven stages of grief during the last two minutes."

"Correct. Impeccable."

"Don't deny it," Will said before registering what Hannibal said.

"I see no use in trying to hide from you, Will. Although I could have told you from the start that I am against this idea, I opted for the lie," Hannibal said, not averting his gaze from Will's.

"You were afraid that I would do exactly the opposite if you were honest. Just to rub it in your face."

"Wouldn't you?"

"It would have been tempting but no," Will replied and the look in his eyes softened. "I am not going to donate blood tomorrow."

"Are you worried you might black out?" Hannibal played dumb as his lips curled up subtly. Will's confession brought a lot of relief. His trains of thoughts all reached the station.

"Sharing my blood with a stranger...feels like I am betraying our intimacy. The thought is as uncomfortable to me as it is for you."

"I am happy we reached a consensus. Wine is in order, then?"

[zorostitties]

hey everyone! i bring good news (regarding my cat not the fic lol)

her condition is much better now! but i want to talk about it a bit to maybe raise some awareness if you're a cat owner.

from monday to tuesday, minnie suddenly lost her appetite, became apathetic and started meowing very loud out of nowhere. she's only 2 years old, neutered, an indoor cat and had never been sick before, so wednesday morning i took her to the vet thinking it was just a flu (since she didn't show signs to be feeling pain anywhere, no diahrrea or vomit, etc).

turns out she tested positive for felv (feline leukemia) and had already progressed to a severe case of anemia. minnie was dying - and very quickly.

felv is transmitted by virus between cats. it's an extremely common disease and unfortunately incurable. it attacks the immune system and makes cats suscetible to many other diseases. a cat may go its entire life without showing any symptom at all - which was minnie's case up until past week. however, when it shows symptons, it may already be too late.

we were lucky for not wasting time in taking her to the vet. i had no idea she was going through something so serious. she took a bunch of meds, many many suplements and a blood transfusion. after A LOT of tears, a week of sleepless nights and A LOT of money spent, she's much better - but i'm not completely relaxed because we still have a few appointments ahead of us regarding her blood exams and some meds/suplements she'll have to take forever.

what i mean with all that is - if you own a cat, please please PLEASE test them for fiv-felv. if not properly treated, felv leads to multiple organ failure and most certainly death. only A DAY of not eating led minnie to an extreme case of anemia; that's how fast felv makes diseases progress in cats. if we had waited a single day or if i took her to the vet in the afternoon and not in the morning, it might've been too late for her, since her spleen was already failing and she was developing a pulmonary edema due to excessive effort to breathe (both were reversed thank god). once again, she had NO symptons only a day prior, NO signs that she was sick at all.

having felv is not a death sentence if discovered early and if you start the treatment quickly, which is basically just taking suplements to help on their lacking immune system and just offer a healthy and quiet life to your cat (other than not letting them go outside, of course). so if you can test your cat, PLEASE DO. if it tests negative, PLEASE vaccinate it. this little test may save your cat AND your heart, because this week has been so stressful to me that i'm probably losing hair right now. it may also save your wallet, but honestly just the fact that this little shit is asking for food every 5 mins and trying to kill me again makes me not regret my bank debt at all.

idk if anyone even wants to read all that lol but i feel that you should take it seriously if you own a cat 🙏 anyways here's minnie being a silly for your consideration

[ilikekidsshows]

"Miraculous has a brand identity as a small kids’ show by now, the more actiony cartoon you upgrade to from Paw Patrol."

Ironically, Thomas Astruc loves to shit on Paw Patrol for lacking moral complexity compared to his show.

---

See, when people point out lore inconsistencies, Miraculous is a “simple show” and we need to keep our ideas simple. But when someone tells him he's literally written abuse apologia, it's “too complex” for our simple minds to comprehend. Astruc is a liar and his editor Thibaudeau is a scam artist.

I had to say this once to a Pink Diamond stan, but, “this person has done awful things, but we forgive her with no repercussions or assurances she’ll stop doing this because we love her” is not a complex solution. It's the most simplistic and a downright insulting representation of people who stay in toxic or abusive relationships, using them as justification for why the abuser should get off scot free. Just because the person harming you is a human being who feels bad about it doesn't mean they deserve not only forgiveness but vindication of their misdeeds. Newsflash: most abusers in personal relationships care about their victims, they just also feel a need to exert power over them. Showing abusers get vindicated for the bare minimum of caring about their victims is abuse apologia.

“Moral complexity”. The only “complex” in Miraculous is whatever excuse Maripologists are gonna slap on Marinette's next misdeeds, because the moral complexity this show is teaching is excusing everything the writers' favorite characters do as long as they feel bad about it after the fact. A single “moral code“ where the comfort of the party doing harm is placed above all concerns their victims night have. "Marinette did nothing wrong because she cried a bit." I’m sorry, but that sounds more simplistic than any conflict you might find in freaking Peppa Pig. And Astruc claims it's more complex than Paw Patrol.

Paw Patrol can juggle multiple main characters, while Miraculous can only manage one.

Paw Patrol can have multiple competent girl dogs without making the boys incompetent, while Cat Noir just “tells jokes” and acts as the Akuma punching bag, sorry, I mean “distraction”.

Paw Patrol has the characters fix what they broke through their skills and make amends for mistakes, while Miraculous has degraded into Marinette running away from her mistakes by turning into Ladybug and magicking broken things okay again.

Paw Patrol has its main characters be considerate of others, while in Miraculous, the main character treats others poorly every other episode but it's supposedly okay just because she will feel bad about it later.

Paw Patrol’s primary nemesis character is a rich man abusing his position of power, while Miraculous' primary nemesis character is the neglected daughter of a rich man abusing his position of power lashing out at others. (Maybe Tommy the Clown hates Paw Patrol because they hold Mayor Humdinger accountable for his actions).

Paw Patrol is copaganda but at least it doesn't have abuse apologia, while Miraculous not only has abuse apologia, its copaganda where the primary cop character isn't even a cute puppy dog.

Once again, Astruc is just mad that Paw Patrol is so much better made and more well-known than his show. He’s been like this about Pokémon and Winx Club too. I wouldn't be surprised if he’d gone on some anti Peppa Pig tirade too. “They jump in puddles and make loud noises while doing so, is this what people consider good entertainment for children? (Unlike my hit series Abuse Apologia the Show, go watch that!)”

“Moral complexity”. Ha.

[princessofghosts-posts]

If you had to associate any single mammal with Nico who would it be? (taking into consideration everything about him like personality, fighting style, aesthetics, ....)

Ik that many people already said that Nico is totally a cat,especially with the Solangelo dynamic of "golden retriever × black cat" stereotype. But it's a little bit wrong (according to Nico,in BoO,Will remind him of a ginger cat).

But for me he is a wolf. Let me explain.

The wolf is a mammal that corresponds to lunar energies,it teach us to: respect our emotions and our subconscious needs,the wildness of our animal nature,and the willingness to face the shadows within us.

Which is what Nico's character stand for. We can see that in how people see him as creepy just because he embrace death and shadows. Those are elements that are part of life itself,but that many people are scared of,especially demigods since their life is very short and always in danger. Nico isn't scared to kill someone (half of his povs in BoO is literally him try to find a way to kill Octavian no matter what-). That is something most demigods don't really do because of their morality (Percy always try to not kill other demigods,at least untill it's inevitable,most of the other demigods during the first war were forced to off siblings and friends to save the world,but they didn't want to). He cares for the people but at the same time he know when it's time to let go,and he make sure to let go. Killing is part of the demigods nature after all,they need to survive in some way. And he also respect himself in that. He doesn't force himself to do something that he doesn't want or feel (as much as the Gods will-),but at the same time he recognizes that some things have to happen.

Wolves are also excellent “team players”,are extremely loyal to those they consider part of their pack,and often have strong leadership qualities. They often quickly sense when a situation is “unhealthy” and will work to change it. It is important that they learn to manage circumstances gently,without upsetting others,or the pack may turn against them.

Something that is part of Nico's development. From HoO to BoO and ToA Nico learned how to comunicate with others,trying to open up to people after all of his trauma and being successful in it. Before that people hardly trusted him (aside from a few). We see multiple times how much he will push himself for people that he cares for (Bianca,Percy,Hazel,Will,ecc...). And one of the reason he didn't join Luke in his cause was because of Bianca and Percy. Percy's fatal flaw is loyalty,but Nico isn't too far off: Bianca told him to let go of his grudge and he did (not really how it work but ok),he liked Percy (he wasn't aware he loved him at the time) and didn't turned his back on him no matter the circumstances,and helped him in the war because Percy was one of the only people that cared about him (even tho he was a bit shitty about it sometimes-). He also has a good leadership ability as a child of the Big 3,but prefer to stay in the shadows to do damage control from the sidelines. And his dedication skills are pretty sharp,Nico is fast to realize when something is wrong and act on it.

Ritual are very important to wolves. Both the small rituals of daily life and the grand rituals of howling at the moon. Whatever their spiritual beliefs,"wolf people" will feel more connected by honoring the life force.

Another connection that Nico has thanks to his heritage. As a son of Hades,he was a good connection with the death,and understand it better than anyone else. He's the opposite to life,that's something death take away. But at the same time he doesn't hate life,since he doesn't want to die (he just doesn't see value in it during most of the narration,if he die or not he doesn't care) but if it happens,it happens. Also,let's not forgot that he uses ancients greeks rituals to raise the ghosts and talk to them. Rituals that are linked to the death too.

Some other traits that wolves have are: intelligence,wit,communication,friendship,loyalty,generosity and compassion.

I don't need to explain that they describe pretty good most of Nico's qualities too,since he is extremely kind and has a pure heart,otherwise he would have joined Luke.(Tho,he still needs to work a little bit on the communication and friendship part).

Another misconception is that of the “lone wolf”. Wolves are actually a social,friendly,and gregarious creature and incredible communicators,whose withare naturally eloquent.

This is a stereotype that has Nico too and that is actually canon and wrong on the same side. Nico wasn't a lone wolf,he was a small child always talking,about his interests and his favorite games,at the begging of his instruction in the story. He was a social butterfly. After Bianca's death,and how people forcibly ostracized him,he became a lone wolf. But it wasn't something he wanted. He had to because he was aware people didn't want him so he adapted to it. Nico is a small child forced to be alone when all he wanted were friends. In BoO and ToA we get to know better about his social skills and he is a great listener and comunicator. Also,Hades's made him his ambassador for a reason,he's proprably pretty good with politics.

The wolf represents deep faith,and a deep understanding. Furthermore the animal possesses a keen intellect,and has been observed using elaborate hunting and migration strategies.

I don't really need to talk more since we know that when it cames to strategy and survival instincts he's kinda crazy (What do you mean you are using your enemy's shadow to travel a statue and two other people after you killed him?? Like,how do you even realize you can do that??). He also will hunt down whatever person or monster stand in his way (What do you mean he turned Bryce in a ghost because he wanted to arrest Reyna?? Again,Minos and Octavian didn't meet a great end after they opposed to Nico). And he understands better than most when it came to life and death struggles.

So yeah,Nico's a wolf. A very protective and effective one (If someone hurts Will,Hazel or one of his friends I hope they survive because Nico isn't going to let them get away).

[tumblerislovetumblerislife]

some catland genderplay filth for my beloved's birthday @dont-offend-the-bees 😘

wishful spit drips from lipstick lips (and we're gasping) (7782 words) by ObsessedWithFandom Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Dead Boy Detectives (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Cat King (Dead Boy Detectives)/Charles Rowland (DCU), Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland, Cat King (Dead Boy Detectives)/Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland (DCU) (background) Characters: Charles Rowland (DCU), Cat King (Dead Boy Detectives), Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Makeup, Genderplay, Feminization, pretty girl Charles agenda, Anal Fingering, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Degradation Kink, fuck you. butchfemmes your catland, blaming it all on lukas gage and that crazy photoshoot he did, which one? yeah., Mirror Sex, Charles Rowland Has a Praise Kink (DCU) Series: Part 2 of pretty girl charles agenda Summary: “Be honest, mate, are we having a teen girl sleepover?” Charles called after him, resting his chin on his hand. Grinned up at Thomas as he returned with an overfull makeup bag in hand. “C’mon, what’s next? Gossiping about boys? Playing dress-up?” Thomas snorted. “I don’t know what teen girl sleepovers you went to, but those are the least fun parts of ‘em.” His head tilted in consideration, his eyes glinting dangerously. A predator sizing up prey. Charles ignored the shiver slinking its way down his spine. “Well…” Or: Charles and Thomas have some fun during what’s definitely not a teen girl sleepover.

and because i have no self-control, another one

[sol-consort]

Physical intimacy wasn't held in sacred regards to the angara; cuddling with your friends and hugging an acquaintance were seen as casual affairs. To be held was a pleasant thing, and to share it around just multipled the pleasantry factor.

Which is why Jaal was extra considerate of any cultural differences between your species when he boarded your ship, only acting with caution and observing how you—humans—interact with each other before he initiated anything.

As the novelty of meeting aliens—ones that weren't hostile, wore off on him, and as the two of you got more comfortable with each other, Jaal fell into his old habits, a combination of nurture and nature.

You'd be standing in front of a desk, looking over the terrian map for the next mission, before suddenly feeling a warmth enveloping you from behind–angara can be very stealthy without realising it–his head nuzzling into the crook of your neck, arms tightly secured around you, feeling up your stomach and down your hips, almost picking you off of the floor and into his embrace.

And without a word, after a minute of getting his fill, Jaal lets you down before going on his way.

Angara are extremely cuddly, give them an inch, and they'll take a mile.

He's enamoured with your chest–it's the closest to your heart. Taking it as an invitation to lay his head against it whenever you lean back on the couch. Jaal's weight causing you to sink down even more.

The fact you lack the usual lumps angara have on theirs is fascinating to him. Whether yours is smooth and hard or plush and soft with these soft round things, he adores pawing at from above your shirt—literally considering the fact he has paw-like hands.

Apparently, it's supposed to be an off-limits androgynous zone? It wasn't his intention, really. Those areas are usually very covered in his kind to prevent any accidents. Plus, you never raised any complaints despite the rest of the crew claiming this act is reserved only for partners.

Humans were doughy, the texture only encouraging him to press and prod at it, knead whatever pliable area he could find. Holding you felt like what he imagined holding a cloud to feel.

Sometimes, he'd sit on the ground in front of your chair just to lay his head on your lap, coax your legs into wrapping around him, squishing his face with your thighs. It felt absolutely amazing, the pressure combined with the softness of your skin.

Part of him feels guilty over hoarding all of the human cuddling to himself, Jaal really can't wait to take you to meet his family and introduce you to his friends. They'd absolutely adore you and your endearing human body.

...Maybe it's best that you don't let him know about how you've started viewing him as an especially oversized cat, how you are sure he would've sat in your lap if he knew it wouldn't crush you, alas he settles for nuzzling against your stomach while fondling your thighs.

[gayelderstourney]

OLD MAN YAOI/OLD WOMAN YURI TOURNAMENT

Do you love old man yaoi? Old woman yuri? Do you want to see your favorite old man yaoi and old woman yuri couples fight each other? to the death? Well here we are now.

(Btw we only do real gay elders here we are NOT calling dudes in their 30s old man yaoi. more info is in the form and under the read more)

This is my third time running a tournament; I also did @worstcharacterpoll and @youngersiblingstournament & both times i have gained more insight on how to run these properly LOL

well anyway ACCEPTING SUBMISSIONS NOW vvv

submissions will close Jul 19 at 8:00 pm CST/Jul 20 at 1:00 UTC

Guidelines and stuff is below, but it's copy pasted in the submission form. Also please submit yuri

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES (Please read):

No real people even if it's really funny

No characters based on real people

Couples must be gay; if one of them is canonically nonbinary though, they will be allowed

No incest or abusive ships

I'll be vetting source material on a case-by-case basis, but just so we're clear I'm not putting Harry Potter or OFMD in the poll

There will be a maximum of one ship per source material in the poll. You can submit multiple ships from the same material, but only one will be allowed if it gets in

AGE GUIDELINES SECTION (because I keep seeing people use the term "old man yaoi" for couples in their 30s or even 20s):

THESE GO FOR BOTH PARTIES IN THE RELATIONSHIP

Human characters with a canon age must be at least 50. This also goes for characters that aren't human but age at the same rate as humans. Please double-check your characters' ages before you submit to save me some headache

If they don't have a canon age, they must look elderly.

No characters that have been de-aged (ex. Purah from Zelda).

For nonhuman characters that age at a different rate than humans: they must be old for their species (ex. Ravenpaw and Barley from Warrior Cats; Ravenpaw is the younger one, and is around the same age as Graystripe, who becomes old enough to retire as an elder).

For immortals/characters with very very long lifespans, they must look old (ex. Gandalf from Lord of the Rings would count; Hythlodaeus from Final Fantasy XIV would not).

Couples that will already be in the poll, so you don't need to submit them:

Fiddleford McGucket/Stanford Pines (Gravity Falls)

Hanayo Nishida/Yoshiko Dojima (Hanamonogatari)

Ravenpaw/Barley (Warriors)

Eda Clawthorne/Raine Whispers (The Owl House)

Couples already under consideration, but will depend on the other submissions if they get in the poll or not; you may submit your support for them if you want to see them:

Walter White/Mike Ehrmantraut (Breaking Bad) (keep in mind this one is mostly a joke)

Ms. Bitters/Countess von Verminstrassen (Invader Zim) (minor characters but I invented this one and I'm partial to it)

The Once-ler/The Lorax (Lorax 2012)

[serinoodles]

The Art of Overthinking Us.

fanart credits: tyra_drawing on TikTok.

Notes: Recommendation: Not a lot, Just Forever - Adrianne Lenker / just listen to the song while reading, trust. Warnings: so much fluff you might cry.

Chapter 9: Our Aftertaste.

"Do you really have to go?", you layed on your stomach, your hands cupping your rosy cheeks, your lips plump as you just woke up from sleep.

"Yes, I have been away for some time, my laptop and my work have been abandoned", hyunju said fixing her hair in front of the mirror while the early-morning sunlight casted a beautiful reflection on her face.

"Come back later, I don't want to be alone", you pouted.

"You know..", you added with a grin. "How about you move in with me"

She turned her body moving closer to you, "yea?", she raised her eyebrows as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"Yea! We'd get to see each other every day like that"

"You'd miss me that much?", she teased.

"Of course! Won't you?" You whined, turning your body to lay on your back.

"I will absolutely miss you, totally", she brushed her finger along with your jaw.

She kissed your forehead moving your hair away from your face. "I promise I will comeback later", she smiled, "aren't you going to open the café today?"

"I don't feel like it", you sighed.

"No need to open then, just go check in and arrange your stuff"

"I don't know Hyunju, I don't feel like doing anything"

"Do you want me to company you there?"

"Maybe I would love to go if it is like that", you moved your body closer to her, resting your head on her lap.

"In that case, I will go grab some things from my apartment and come back to here alright?"

You nodded with a smile looking up at her.

"Enjoy being lazy until I come back yea?" She smiled back pecking another kiss on your forehead before standing up and grabbing her bag.

"I will keep Mochi until you come back! He is held hostage" you cuddled the cat after it jumped next to you in bed.

"Who's taking who from me at this point" she giggled making her way out of the room.

With quick steps you followed her with the cat still between your arms.

She was crouching tying her shoelaces, a beautiful smile appeared on her face looking up at you.

You kneeled a bit kissing her forehead before she stood up, you can clearly see the blush in her round cheeks.

"Mommy is going to work, we will miss you!" You roleplayed as if you were speaking to the cat, waving its paw at Hyunju.

Hyunju tried to hide her laugh but eventually she let it out, her voice echoed beautifully followed by the sound of your laugh.

"I will bring you breakfast on my way"

You nodded as she held your cheeks for a kiss from her lips.

You locked the door behind her and walked to the living room nuzzling the cat, your eyes caught your phone placed on the ground. You let go of the cat and grabbed your phone, you sat on the floor plugging the charger that's been plugged in the outlet.

Two days worth of notifications bombarded your phone all at once, but your eyes fell first on 'Hyunee'. Multiple missed calls, texts and a voicemail;

'hi, it's Hyunju. I don't know what's going on, you could be busy or your phone could've died, but I have been waiting for you the whole day, I was really hoping to spend another day with you as we planned. Uh- otherwise I hope you are doing alright, bye"

Your heart ached, you felt the guilt of ignoring her despite your state that day. Going through her texts haven't helped a lot in that matter. The way she was caring and considerant even when she felt abandoned.

With a heavy heart, you opened another conversation; 'mom'

Not much texts from her, trying to get a hold of you, followed by random pictures from what it seems to be the funeral. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. You are not feeling sad nor mad, just overwhelmed, with how much had happened in the span of two days.

You walked slowly towards your bed letting your body relax on top of the sheets warmed by the sunlight.

The world might took away a dear one, but it taught you how to face death and not run away from it in denial, and it gave you a loving embrace you can cling to as you please.

Your mind wondered around every possible idea and aspect you could think of, time passed like a dream. Unaware of how long you dozed off, the ringing bell got you back to reality.

You opened the door for Hyunju, her hands carrying random stuff. "Hey", she stole a kiss from your lips.

"Did you sleep again?", she put her stuff on the ground and moved the random strands of her away from your face, cupping your cheeks.

You shook your head looking into her soft eyes.

"Are you alright?", she asked in concern, her thumb now caressing your soft skin.

You nodded with a faint smile getting lost in her face. She hummed, "you're weirdly calm right now, so are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"I am alright I swear" you chuckled resting your hands on top of hers.

"I got you breakfast as I promised, your silly carrot cake and more tea", she carried the plastic bags to the kitchen as your followed her with delicate steps.

You sat on the counter watching her arrange the breakfast on the kitchen table.

"Oh how much I've missed my coffee", she took a sip from her cup before setting it aside to the red velvet cake piece.

You sat on the chair on your carrot cake and iced tea side, while she sat across from you.

You were silent the whole time, taking small bites while she checked her phone before speaking, "does anything have to do with my texts or voicemail?"

"Bingo!", you chuckled resting your elbows on the table.

"Did I say anything wrong?", she looked worried for a second.

"Absolutely not, you're an angel"

Her face relaxed and a pretty shy smile was curled on her lips

"I have plans for us later, would you care to join me pretty girl?" She asked.

You nodded keeping the smile you couldn't take away this whole time.

~

Your lilac dress matched her top perfectly, your hair was put down, with a tulip hairclip at the side. While her hair was held in a loose ponytail, her bangs framing her face beautifully. The sunset was painting the sky shades of orange and pink. On the red and white picnic blanket; you sat next to her with Mochi between your arms.

"You are so good with pets, you would absolutely be a great pet mother" she commented.

"I don't know, I could be a good mother, I'll be Mochi's for now"

"You will be", her voice was soft and sure.

She pressed her lips together before moving closer to you. "Be my girlfriend"

An immediate smile appeared on your face, and in a moment you leaned even closer having her lips on your, ''I want to be your wife''.

Notes: uhh I can't believe this fic has already came to an end. I appreciate every Like, comment and even silent readers <3 Stay tuned for the next fic! xoxo

All previous parts on Tumblr links. Read on ao3

[timetravellingtelepath]

Shiguang is literally a case of opposites attract. My evidence is two words:

ESFP & INTJ

MBTI opposites, drawn to the other's completely different and refreshing way of thinking and behaving. I'll get to how this impacts Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi, but let me explain the MBTI dynamic first (or skip to the shiguang section).

I knew a pair of ESFP and INTJ friends and they were nothing alike, the ESFP was sociable and easily said what they thought whereas the INTJ had tunnel vision and was quite reserved and chose their moment to speak up carefully.

The INTJ friend treated their ESFP friend differently to their other friends (it was only obvious if you really looked). They were more blunt (even if that meant saying in a nice way to f* off) and went with the ESFP's antics even when they'd shut down if someone else were to get in their personal space and bother them so frequently. Sound familiar?

SHIGUANG

Yet the INTJ, aka Lu Guang, cared deeply about their ESFP, even when it seemed buried in logic and irritation. The ESFP once told me they admired the INTJs determination to keep going in a relentless pursuit, and now I think about it, Lu Guang has that too.

Who else can keep diving after multiple failures?

(I think Cheng Xiaoshi could too. He picks himself up time after time).

But it also speaks for why he struggles to adapt, even though we know he can, he's an overthinker (cue s1 ed) and in his efforts to take all variables and sequences and nodes into consideration, he's an anxiety pancake.

He's constantly on edge when Cheng Xiaoshi's in a dive or doing something he couldn't predict (because it's outside his foresight and past experiences). In a way, having the advantage of knowing how things went in previous timelines is one of Lu Guang's major disadvantages. He fails to capitalise on the moment.

And that's what Cheng Xiaoshi excels at.

Cheng Xiaoshi, by the nature of his role, has to be on his feet and constantly adapt, is empathetic, quicker to anger and forward at times (like in his manhua interrogations) because that's how he sees the best way too get results. That's another vulnerability, but Lu Guang's there to bat and smack and kick those who seek to capitalise on or abuse those softer flaws.

Those differences make them an excellent team. They're both strategic and creative thinkers, Cheng Xiaoshi especially so when we saw him dive into the security camera footage to have a back-up plan for getting Lu Guang from Li Tianchen. But Lu Guang is more reserved, equally haunted, and his hand is often hidden. His motivations were hidden from us for 2 seasons and I suspect more is hidden too.

While the differences help make them a likeable pair we invest in, it also highlights their character strengths and flaws. Cheng Xiaoshi is genuine (he can lie too, but more often he means what he says and does) and as we all know Lu Guang is a big hypocrite. For some odd, Link-Click-trauma-induced reason, we still love him and so do the cats.

Fun fact, INTJs are known for being tsunderes when it comes to emotions, even when it's obvious to us viewers. Loid Forger is another example.