#my brain is also way more active at night for reasons i don't fully understand

[lemotmo]

I might actually die from anticipation. Anyway I agree with all of this! We're getting Buddie canon!!

Q. The last 5 minutes of that episode felt like they were at warp speed. But the Buddie stuff we got was so good!!! I can't actually believe those scenes are canon! I'm very annoyed at the Ryan stuff and dear god the Lou stuff, but everything else was so good! I feel like I'm flying!

A. The last 5 minutes gave me whiplash, anon, I agree. Any other time I would have said the Buddie scene at the end should have been cut and moved to the beginning of the next episode because it didn't really fit, and they did have to rush through the Maddie rescue to get it into the episode. But the context of that scene was necessary for upcoming episodes, and since I believe we're getting some kind of time jump as we open episode 11, they didn't really have a choice. The scene needed to be there and it was a PERFECT Buddie scene.

I will touch the Lou nonsense in this one ask, and I won't answer another one. For me personally it feels like trolling. He knew exactly what kind of pic to post and it's absolutely the kind of immature bullshit he finds funny. He could have been doing anything. 911 is not the only thing that shoots on that lot. ABC isn't the only studio who uses that lot. I think he knew exactly what he was doing and he found it funny. That's my personal take. Tommy serves no narrative purpose anymore. The Tommy part of Buck's brain officially died last night. There is no story reason to bring him back for a scene. Does that mean Tim won't? Nope, but if he does it would be for the sole purpose of having the audience see Buck actively choose Eddie. It would be used as a way to give Buck back the agency he kind of lost during their breakup. That would be the only reason he was there. And it's not necessary. Now it's possible Tim is tired and so he has written in a scene that would explicitly have Buck say out loud he doesn't want him, and it was never about him. That's also not unlike Tim. So it's one of those options, but I still personally feel like he was just attention seeking and it's nothing.

I haven't seen the Ryan stuff personally, thank god. Yay for my dash curation! I've heard about it from mutuals and asks but I haven't physically seen it myself. That being said, streaming services have obliterated an entire generation's ability to watch television. They genuinely don't know how to watch a television show. They don't understand how to WATCH. They want immediate satisfaction and answers and bullet point explanations for everything. The show has made it clear where this thing is headed. There is no more room for doubt. They are two characters on the same path going towards the same conclusion, however Buck is further along on the path. Eddie is still behind him because Eddie's route on the path has a detour (Christopher and Texas). That means Oliver can make acting choices and interview answer choices that Ryan cannot make yet. Oliver has fully made the turn. He is 100% playing Buck as in love with Eddie. And Buck is going to fully realize it either in episode 11 or 12. It's coming quickly for Buck. Eddie is not at that stage yet though so Ryan has to be more subtle. Ryan played the truck scene (the fact that scene is canon makes me want to climb the wall, twirl my hair, and kick my feet), and the goodbye scene perfectly. He was perfect in those scenes. Not only could you see the weight on him you could feel the weight on him. The uncertainty. The confusion about everything. The dialogue was loud but everything Ryan did with the dialogue, and silently without any dialogue was louder. He didn't look at Buck in the truck when he said 'it's not nothing'. He was awkward at the uhaul when it was time to say their goodbyes. They both played that scene so pitch perfect it gave me goosebumps. He allowed all the emotions Eddie was feeling to play out on his face. The subtle shift with his eyebrows during their hug was heartbreaking because it was Eddie taking a moment to realize what he's walking away from, and all the different emotions happening inside of him in that moment. There is a part of Eddie that knows. Ryan's playing it like that. Ryan is playing it as if Eddie was forced to choose between his son and Buck and he chose his son, as he should have, but that doesn't mean that leaving Buck isn't breaking his heart. And he doesn't have the mental strength to examine that more closely just yet. He's just trying to convince himself that what he's doing is right and for the best so it doesn't matter that he's hurting himself to make this choice. Ryan demonstrated all of that in that scene and anyone who's trying to argue otherwise is lying to themselves. And Eddie looked back! Abby never looked back, but Eddie did!! He looked back at Buck! That entire scene was god tier and I need people to understand that.

I also need people to understand that these scenes are not for the fandom. Obviously we eat them up, but their not for us. These scenes are for the general audience. These scenes are walking the general audience through the tonal and emotional shift in their relationship. They are very romantic coded. The dialogue, the music, the acting choices from both Oliver and Ryan. This is the show's way of making sure the audience as a whole understands and recognizes that their dynamic is changing. The audience is getting to witness the shift for both of them in real time. I desperately need people to understand how fucking good that is. We are getting to watch both men realize what's happening between them in real time and on an individual level. It's their love story! One episode at a time!!What they're doing is glorious and genuinely beautiful. Please don't take this for granted because this doesn't happen often. If you're not capable of following the story as it's told, which includes a week between episodes, and other storylines getting focus as well, then wait for the season to finish and binge the season at that point. But I am begging you all to learn how to watch a television show the way they were intended to be watched. Because that's what's happening here. We're getting ANTICIPATION!!! And LONGING!!! And I'm vibrating out of my skin! 🩷

Thank you Nonny!

Yeah, I agree with Ali on the Buddie of it all. We know where this is going, so let's just enjoy the ride. You know?

Seems I'm the only one who liked how they handled those last 5 minutes of the episode. I think it was a really clever way to go about things in order to make some time for the final Buddie goodbye scene.

I already said what I wanted to say about T and the Ryan stuff. I don't wish to talk about it anymore for today. I just want to enjoy my Buddie high for the remainder of this day. 😋

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[send-noodles-not-nudes]

Having osteoarthritis at the ripe old age of 22 (and it's already been 9 months since it got really bad) is so fucking embarrassing sometimes like?

I'm supposed to be at the peak of my physical health

And I have to ACTIVELY worry about what type of fucking CHAIRS I sit in and for how long because if I sit in a bad chair for longer than about an hour, I hurt so bad that I can barely walk for three days to a week

I had to request a special ergonomic chair from my school because I physically cannot sit in the regular chairs without severely hurting myself. And then no one wants to sit next to me in class bc they take one look at me and go "why do you need a special chair you fucking weirdo" and go to sit at the next table over

I sleep on my side bc I literally cannot fall asleep on my back and I now have to sleep with a pillow between my legs to keep my spine in proper alignment/curves because I wake up sore if I don't

And the worst part?

It's an invisible disability. And I have more than one.

I am in constant pain and nobody can see it because it's all internal. It feels like I have knives sticking in my back and twisting at every hour of the day and night, but there's no visual cue for other people to understand. I look completely normal and able-bodied, but I'm not. I haven't been since before I was even a teenager. My own parents don't even register how much pain I'm in every day because I've stopped talking about it because bringing attention to it doesn't fix the problem, so then they start assuming that means I'm fine when I'm not. I can't even tell you how many times my dad has asked me to pick something up for him because "your back is younger" when I literally have the spine of someone three times my age (or more), which is worse than his.

Aside from being embarrassing and painful, being disabled means coming across a lot of bias, especially when you're young and people can't visibly see what's wrong with you. I'm not stupid; I know what people think when they look at me. They see me take the handicap rail instead of stairs and use the elevator and sit in my special chair and assume it's just because I'm "lazy" and fat. Every time I talk with a new person, they're surprised to find out that I am "legit" disabled and have a reason for using assistive equipment other than just supposed laziness and being overweight. Like yeah, part of my not taking the stairs IS because I'm chonky and I don't want people judging me for panting after climbing like 12 steps, but the MAJORITY of it is bc I have a bad back and my knees are starting to act up on me and stairs are physically painful.

Our society talks so much about bias and the toll that it has on people, but I feel like we never mention the full scope of the mental impacts disability has on a person.

It's not just about how other people look at me (as appalling as that already is). It's about how I look at myself.

It's about feeling like I'm a worthless piece of shit because I've been told that so many times that my subconscious has just started accepting it. It's about never having a moment of peace because even when the world isn't actively hating me, I hate myself, and that's a learned behavior.

I dunno. It's just painful and exhausting. If it doesn't hurt in one way, it hurts in another. Physically, mentally, socially, emotionally. I'm so tired.

I'm also FULLY convinced that life nerfed me because I would simply be too powerful with a fully functioning mind and body. Just IMAGINE the shit that I could get done if I were able bodied and minded. I would be unstoppable. Instead, I have the body of a 90 year old and the brain of a rat.

[noahsbookhoard]

📚December 2024 Book Review📚

Happy New Year everyone! And to end it up with only one day of delay here's the last reviews for 2024!

Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood

It was interesting but not my favorite Atwood so far. Grace's point of view was sometimes hard to follow, but the change of writing style to mark the difference of class and education between her and the doctor was a meaningful choice. I liked the mystery, the contradicting versions of what happened and the confusion of the poor doctor trying to unravel all this.

I am not opposed to open endings so the lack of answers at the end was not a problem to me but I understand that it can bother others. When you write about real events it's delicate to whether someone is or isn't guilty, better to let the readers judge by themselves.

Le Père Porcher (Chroniques du Disque-Monde #20) by Terry Pratchett

I wanted to reread it for Christmas season and, for a twist, to read the french translation by Patrice Couton. I don't credit translator enough but I always heard the highest praise for his work on the Discworld Novels. They are well deserved, the translation is amazing! Incredible work on the names, hilarious translations of the puns, it works so well! The story itself is just as good as I remembered, Death is really an amazing character.

Soie by Alessandro Baricco

I don't see the appeal. There is some nice writing, the repetitive aspects give it a nice fairy tale vibe but that's it. It barely mention the journey to Japan, barely mention silk. Which is the damn title. Instead you have a guy that travels across Europe and Asia to cheat on his wife. This wasn't was I hoped for from the title and blurb, I am just disappointed.

A Day of Fallen Night (Root of Chaos #0) by Samantha Shannon

I loved The Priory of the Orange Tree when I read it three years ago so I was excited to read the prequel. If you are like me and picked if long after reading book 1, I strongly recommend catching up on the lore before reading and if you haven't read book 1 yet DO NOT start with A Day of Fallen Night: this might be a prequel but it is not an introduction.

That said I loved it, convoluted and lore heavy as it is: it brings back all the places I loved in book 1 with even more details put on the world building and tradition. The multiple point of views are well used and they come together in really satisfying ways. Even if the threat is more or less the same as in The Priory of the Orange Tree the way they figure a solution and the fight was so good!

Retour à St Mary (Cosy Christmas Mystery #1) by Carine Pitocchi

Plain bad, and that's not the just me saying it, that's 100% of my local book club. Don't hope for a whodunit, the mystery barely qualifies as a police novel, the investigation is confusing and the culprit, obvious. This is also half of a Christmas cheesy hallmark romance. The bad half that is, because at the end Unsufferable Female Lead takes a train and just leaves behind Secretly In Love Childhood Best Friend Who Happens To Be An Anglican Priest For Some Reason Male Love Interest. It just sucks. Don't bother.

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson

I really liked it, the main character spiralling down pulled me down two and at several moments I was genuinely spooked. I read it a little too quickly to fully appreciate it tho I think, I will need to reread it again!

Prince Caspian (The Chronicles of Niania #02) by C S Lewis

I don't really have much too say. Just like the first book I had watched the movie a hundred times before and I was just too old for it. It is a cute story tho, I love the talking animals, especially Reepicheep.

Winter Spirits short story collection

Overall a nice read: this is an anthology featuring 12 different authors which means 12 different spin on the spooky christmas ghost story. There's only one I actively didn't like and four where I went to check what else the author had done because I needed to study how their brain worked. I originally picked the book because it features a story by Stuart Turton, who wrote The Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle. His story is good but I especially loved those by Laura Shepherd-Robinson, Andrew Michael Hurley, and Natashe Pulley.

The Agatha Christie Book Club #1 by C A Larmer

This was fun but not as good as reading an Agatha Christie novel. The investigation is a little convoluted, with clues that aren't really clear to the reader. And honestly if I were the characters being interviewed by the book club member twenty seven times in one week I too would have been annoyed and slammed the door. It was a bit frustrating that the pay off required to have biographical knowledge of Christie's life. It was all explained in the end but you couldn't really follow along. The book is good but my expectations were miscalculated, I'll adjust when reading the rest of the series.

The Stardust Grail by Yume Kitasei

This wouldn't be enough to call it Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade In Space but this is very much what it is. And more. It has some really cool element of world building and alien species with complex history and dynamics. The characters were very good too, the relationship between Uncle and Maia I was especially fond of, medic is touching too, I just took most of the book to warm up to Will. Emotional, action packed, full of twist and investigation and museum heist. Very warm recommendation.

Summer Sons by Lee Mandelo

Gut punches galore. It had been a long time since I read a horror novel that genuinely scared me and boy was I scared. I have next to zero knowledge of the US South but the description were so vivid I could feel the heat. Also a gold star for most fucked up gay relationship to Andrew and Eddy, this should be so hot but somehow it is, good luck to Sam unpacking this mess.

A Local Habitation (October Daye #2) by Seanan McGuire

This. Was. Wild. Never saw so many deaths and especially main characters narrowly avoiding death I was SO SURE I had figured it out and in the end I was barking at the wrong tree. What a ride. I am growing very fond of October Daye and I hope we get to see more of Quentin too because he's a good kid. I was promised by

[draco-the-voiddragon]

Hey, I wanted to give a quick update!

I actually got severely ill from the anxiety buildup from yesterday and barely made it home. It was embarrassing throwing up in front of my friend's place...

I want to just continue on with my day as tomorrow I have sentencing for an event. This event is already stressful enough as it kept my life on hold the past four years.

That being said, there is something I got to say:

The incident happened really late at night for me, and I needed to sleep before work. I was more calm and was going to apologize that morning. However, I saw all the hate comments and insults. I get I am in the wrong for the Noelle incident, but I hate the emotional hell I went through yesterday.

I need EVERYONE to understand that being cruel is not my normal. I see things that would be hurtful for anyone, not just me. Those words could be suicide bait to the wrong individual.

If it were anyone else, I'd step in and make them hate me just so my friends do not have to suffer. I know several people on this site who are struggling emotionally, some with depression or suicidal thoughts. I also struggle with depression and have violent mood swings, but I have suffered to the point where I do not feel anything at times.

I did not think to check Noelle's pronouns, I didn't consider that when making my post for a few reasons. They're not fully alleviating, but they are my only reasoning why:

Blogs on this site also can be from several years ago, dating back to 2007 if I recall. Noelle could have been born a woman then became a transgender man by the time I saw the post.

I use "they" because: yes, I am too lazy to check everyone's bio or pinned blog. I can not if I am in a bad reception area.

I don't want to short circuit my brain either. Some of my mutuals have Role Play blogs of another gender, so I default to what feels safe.

I do not feel safe. I feel attacked.

I see people who want a place in the world actively making someone suffer. I see people making a self-fulfilling prophecy come to light.

These same people who are fighting for their place in the world refuse to listen, to compromise, to explain what went wrong and how to fix it!

I was taught reciprocate what I hear and to use "I, me, my" statements when in a disagreement. That way, I show if I understand correctly and say my piece without blame.

All I got in response was the same set of words and "You, you, you" statements. That is just constantly pushing blame on another. "You are the problem. You refuse to give respect. You will not reflect on your actions!"

I get I was in the wrong! I want to apologize to Noelle! I want an apology from punishedgirldick for refusal to listen, but that is all. Anyone else who wants an apology better consider if they were ANONYMOUS asking. I will consider them unworthy of an apology. I showed my stripes, but they did not show theirs.

Call me a transmisogynist if you desire, but I want everyone to be heard, not just one side or the other.

With all that said, I'll see those that care later tomorrow.

[spaceorphan18]

What are all the projects you’re working on?

All the Projects, Nonny, lol 

Okay, well since you asked... 

The Fic Writing: 

There are two that I’m primarily focused on... 

1. 99 Perspectives on a Single Love Story -- which I’ve decided to parcel out a little at a time.  It’s a big project, that I could easily burn out on.  

2. Chasing Pavements - which is almost coming up on a year.  I need to buckle down and just finish it.  I have all the chapters outline, it’s just a matter of focus.  I also feel really bad I haven’t updated in a while, especially since it’s currently on a cliffhanger. 

There’s one I’m writing writing as well as these two, but am not posting until it’s finished.  However, since it’s just in my head, I’ve been kinda picking away at it, too.  It’s called Head Over Feet, and it’s a reunion fic set in the future when Klaine are in their mid-30s.  And it might be my favorite thing I’ve ever been writing. 

There are also a few projects I’d like to get back to when these are done -- One being The Spaces In-Between, which is Kurt’s story in canon and two, the fic based on my Final Season sketch that I wrote a few years ago.  I wrote the first couple of chapters, and really like it -- I think I’ll wait until that’s finished before posting as well.  

And, I have numerous one-shots and smaller ideas written down just in case I ever feel like writing those.  We’ll see!  

The Fic Blog: 

The Author Spotlights are still going on - on TDBfic, and those take some time to put together.  

Plus, I’m trying to figure out ways to help keep it active, as well as getting ready to set up a Summer Exchange for people to participate in (and am hoping to get some help in running that).  

Meta: 

You guys ask a lot of questions, which I love! But I don’t always get to.  Some of them take some time to answer, I have a few very old ones that I haven’t replied to yet, just because I know they’re going to take some time.  I also have to set up my queue, which sometimes means digging into old posts and seeking things out to fill the space.  And, there are things in my likes that need responses, and I’m always behind on that -- like, posts that I want to make replies to, or memes people have tagged me in.  

Meanwhile...  There are the Rankings 2.0.  I know I sometimes pause for days on end, and I’ve been griping a lot, but I’m not kidding when I say watching the show this way has been incredibly fascinating.  I now have a real understanding of things that bug me about the show.  In about ten episodes, we’ll be getting to episodes I like more than I don’t, and the tenor of discussion will change.  I’m looking forward to being positive about it again, lol  

There are also two projects that I haven’t posted about, but I’m working on... 

1. The Grey Project - which is a deeper analysis of ATOG’s sequel Grey.  It’s something I’ve wanted to do for years, and it’s a follow up to the analysis we did on the TDB Podcast.  (As an aside -- I think I want to visit the older fics on my master fic rec list, because I haven’t read any of that in years.)  

2. Glee Music Retrospective -- where I look at all the music in the show.  I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time, too, so I’m finally doing it.  

The Book Blog and Marvel Movie Night: 

Most of this is non-Glee related stuff.

The Book Blog is just a way for me to keep track of things I’m reading, and share with you guys new recommendations for published works.  I’m also rereading all of the Agatha Christie novels (because I love them) and working through X-Men comics (which I’ve been wanting to do, and tried starting a handful of times).  All of this is a labor of love.  

And then there’s the Marvel Movie Nights -- where I watch a Marvel movie... all of them... including non-MCU ones.  I kind of wanted to see everything, even the terrible ones, just because.  I’m about half way through the list, and just getting into the MCU, which of course is my favorite.  

Other (mostly boring adult stuff): 

Of course, real life things are a constant.  There’s work (and now that I’m a manager(ish) I have more obligations there; cleaning my house - a never ending project; prepping meals; making sure I’m working out; doing needed errands, etc, all that fun stuff that takes up time.  As well as making sure I’m doing some kind of socialization and doing things just for fun -- like watching TV shows or playing video games.  

And of course, there’s my dearly beloved, neglected child - my original novel.  It’s called The Legend of Melaynia; it’s a fantasy, and I’ve been working on the world building for twenty years.  I am no Tolkien, but it’s been my love, and at some point, I would like to actually focus on it.  

Because I love organizing, I bought a white board that helps me keep everything straight -- and today, I think I came up with a schedule that will help me not feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff I’m working on.  

[twistedmusings]

Reading Between The Lines

A/N: I feel bad whenever I say 'hey here is what I am working on' and then my muses tell me 'no...this is what you are working on'. It's like my brain can't concentrate on one thing entirely q wq. In my defense though, I'm exploring my twst faves...and Cater may be a runner up to Vil...

Warnings: Dry humping, dirty talking and a quick handjob just as unsatisfying and ungratifying as Cater feeling like maybe he shouldn't have let you go just yet.

“Whoops.”

Cater’s phone case cracked as it hit the floor, eyes locking with yours as you pull away from the Heartslabyul second year. Why had he even dropped his phone in the first place? The case had cost a lot and he had queued up for hours to get it, there should have been no reason for him to drop it.

Maybe the shock from seeing you in Heartslabyul?

No, that was normal. You were friends with Ace and Deuce after all so your presence in Heartslabyul was normal.

Maybe from seeing you in a bedroom that wasn’t a first year room?

He was coming to check up on a second year who had mentioned something about needing help in Astrology so Riddle had instructed Cater to help the guy out. The ‘strict Queen’ was aiming for the highest grade among the dorms, after all. So he was just carrying out his duty as an upperclassman!

So seeing you here, in this second year’s room, shirt around your elbows as a pair of hands--

that weren’t his--gently wrapped themselves around your waist was probably what made him drop his case.

Good to know, if he had come to that conclusion at any other time that you weren’t here, he might have said something mean to his lower-class men.

You move to fix your shirt as the second year rushes to apologize, walking up to him and spouting words Cater wouldn’t bother to hear. His eyes kept staring as you fixed yourself up to look a tad more proper than how he had found you.

It wasn’t like the sight of you in that state was unfamiliar to him, he just hadn’t seen it in a long time.

“Please just keep it between us, Cater-san! I don’t know what I’d do if the dorm head found out about this.”

He snaps out of his trance, looking down at the second year before grinning as he let out a slow hum, pretending to mull the request over in his head.

“Should I? If I remember correctly...Rule 345--Only when the sky turns red as it is dawning can a romantic partner be brought--”

“I--I’ll tell the dorm leader that you helped me with class!”

Cater grins, “That’s one way to make it up to me~ I guess for now I should leave you with a warning, right?” he tilts his head to call out to you, “The same goes for you [Y/N]-san! I can’t have you getting someone other than Ace and Deuce in trouble!”

He can't help but feel a sense of pride when you chuckle at what he had said, turning around to give him a peace sign as you walk by the second year.

“I’ll try to do an effort to hide in the closet next time.”

The second year takes your hand and kisses it, apologizing for the trouble and closing his eyes when your hands cup his cheek and pull him in for a kiss, the action making Cater look down at his phone and open whatever app he saw first.

You wave goodbye as Cater closes the door quickly, not giving you a chance to look at your second year lover fully as the both of you walk down the corridors of Heartslabyul in silence.

“So.”

“Hm?”

Green eyes keep looking at his phone, scrolling through Magicam absentmindedly but sparring you one look as he sees you scratching at a hickey--he would have left a bigger one-- the second year had left behind.

“Was he any good?”

In his defense, what had started between you two was clearly labeled as a ‘no feelings allowed, we are just here to have fun’ relationship. You seemed to understand his nature better than most and were down for something that wasn’t super serious and borderline erotic in a sense.

Cater was sure that you two had done it in at least one surface in every common room in Heartslabyul. The thought kept him awake at night, actually.

“Was he any good…” you repeat the question, “As good as I’m going to get from a second year.”

“Oh the poor guy.” Cater can’t help the snort that escapes him as you two walk down a set of stairs leading to the dorm’s entrance, “It is surprising you went for him, didn’t you mention that you liked the older type?”

“Well after a certain ‘older type’ decided to end things, I thought I should try my hand at something different. Change my ways, you know?”

He didn’t know. Cater had no idea what you were talking about, in fact. Why would you have to change your ways for anyone? You were amazing, interesting, entertaining and attention-grabbing all wrapped up in an older sibling type package that he had admitted to being attracted to when he had brought up the ‘friends with benefits’ proposition. If you changed in anyway he would be disappointed--

Dammit he was doing it again.

“If you want to start a relationship with someone in Heartslabyul, I would recommend Trey. He’s handsome, hardworking and you wouldn’t go hungry. Perfect man material right there.”

Cater knew that the small jab was directed at him so he decided to switch subjects, preferring not to linger in the awkward feeling that came with the consequences of his actions.

He ended things because he had broken the rules you both had set in place. Feelings weren't allowed and yet he had let them burrow deep inside his heart and fester like some sort of unknown virus. Cater didn't care for them so he nipped the problem in the bud, broke things off in an amicable manner and moved on.

But, like with everything in his life, it had all been an act.

If it had been just the sex keeping him awake, he would have understood. He's a healthy young man and some of the activities you two engaged in would make any first year jealous. And for a while the memories of you warming his bed generally did start to make him yearn for your warmth.

It was the possibilities of what you could have had that were driving him insane.

Would you have said no to a date? The only thing you two did when you were alone were have sex, make fun of Magicam models, sleep and then have sex some more so surely you would have liked a change of scenery as well.

But he didn't know you as much as he wished he did. Nights in his bed had been spent tossing and turning as to what your answer would have been. Why did he even care? You both still hung out, you still had his number, it wasn't like either of you were dead to each other!

Cater just didn't know how to react to you seeing someone else, if that is what you were even doing in the first place.

"Trey-senpai? I guess...he is rather sweet, isn't he?"

"In more ways than one."

"...but I will have to pass." you rub the back of your neck, "You know I don't like sweets."

The clock strikes ten as Cater's eyes take all of you in, his mind blanking out for a response before he clicks his tongue and points behind him.

"Say, Prefect, I think you may have left something in my room. Mind if I give it to you now?"

-----

"Oh. Your case cracked."

"Yeah. Dropped my phone. Bummer, huh?"

"Here I thought you held onto that thing for dear life, can I see it?"

Cater laughs as he takes his phone out of his back pocket and hands it to you, turning back to dig in his drawer for the sole sock that you had left about a month ago.

Who was he bullshitting? He was panicking, plain and simple. Here he was, rummaging through his drawer like an idiot as he pretended to have a sock that he knew he didn't have all to keep you with him for a couple more minutes.

Stars, who was he? He didn't know himself anymore.

“And...dammit.” he laughs as he closes the bottom drawer of his heart closet, “Couldn’t find it. I’m sorry [Y/N]-chan, I shouldn’t have taken your time like that. Do you want me to walk you back to the dorm...or maybe you wanna talk on the phone while you walk there?”

He goes to grab his phone but stops as he turns to look at you, your fingers tracing the giant crack on the case before tapping it twice in quick succession.

“[Y/N]--”

“We both really messed up, huh?”

Cater blinks as your eyes stare at him as if, for a brief moment, you could look through him. Through the act, the apathy, the very thing that was keeping him at the seams but also making him feel like he would burst from the inside out.

“...what do you mean?”

You keep gazing at him for a couple of seconds before smiling as you hold up the phone.

“I shouldn’t have snuck into Heartslabyul to just get a need met...and you shouldn’t have walked into that poor student’s room without knocking.” you wave the phone around, “Now your precious item is broken.”

The conversation didn’t feel right. It felt as if you were saying something else and all Cater needed to do was read in between the lines.

But he refused to, he didn’t want to go below surface level. Everything would get so much more complicated if you both took that plunge.

Yet he was feeling daring, the smile on your face a clear challenge as he walked over to you and grabbed the edge of his phone.

“Maybe I wanted to break it.”

Silence reigns in the room as you two stare at each other, both of your hands holding onto the edge of his phone and daring the other to let go. He smiles and tugs on his edge, the movement effortlessly pulling you towards him as you snicker when the edge of your foot touches his.

“Cater.” you whisper as your hands slowly let go of the phone.

“Yes?” he whispers back, purposefully leaning over you as he places the phone on his desk.

“Nothing. I just like saying your name.”

Whether he started it or you started it honestly didn’t matter to him, the only thing Cater cared about was pulling you close and pressing his lips against yours so he could stop listening to all of your complicated sentences.

He didn’t understand them, he didn’t understand you.

And yet you seemed to understand him probably better than he understood himself.

Arms are around his neck as you pull him close, Cater slowly walking you back to his bed as the back of your knees hit the comforter which causes both of you to fall down. You pull away to snicker at the action but are brought right back into the kiss by needy lips, Cater whispering your name as he pushed you upwards so that you would be pressed right against the wall--

He groans when you pull away and is surprised to be kissing a pair of fingers instead of your lips, your smile still as elusive as ever as you slowly push his face away.

“I have a lover, senpai.”

Cater rolls his eyes, “I don’t like those kinds of jokes.”

“I’m not joking. It’s late so I’m just going to go over to his room and tell him that you’ll cover for us, okay? Okay. ”

You pinch his nose as you try to push him away but find your wrists grabbed and locked in place, Cater giving you a hard glare as he presses his forehead against yours.

“I said I don’t like those kinds of jokes.” he leans in and gives you another kiss, “You’re not his lover.”

“Who says that?”

“[Y/N]-chan did.” Cater’s lips press against yours again as he makes his way down to the offending hickey the second year had left on you, “The way you talk about him, the way you weren’t even embarrassed at getting caught. You are toying with the heart of one of my second years and I don’t think I can forgive you for that.”

He nips at the bruise before placing his lips on it, teeth gently opening up more blood vessels to form a much darker shade on your skin than what was left there before.

“Is that all you can’t forgive me for?”

Cater smiles against your skin as he takes your wrists and leads your arms to wrap around his neck, pulling you into his lap as he answers your question with a kiss.

His tongue meets yours this time around, both of you giggling at the familiar taste. When was the last time you two had kissed like this? Nevermind that, the question was already too annoying to think about. Instead, Cater moves his hips upwards as he groans into your lips at the wanted friction.

He takes a hold of your hips as he pushes you down to meet him mid-movement, his hips rolling up as yours are pushed down. The movement is sloppy and the action itself feels so unsatisfying but Cater almost feels as if this is the only thing he deserves from you. If either of you enjoyed this it would mean you two went too far--

“Haha...look at your face.”

Green eyes look at you as you cup the man’s face, pressing a gentle kiss on his nose as you start to roll your hips on his, meeting him halfway.

“You probably want to cum inside, right Cater-senpai?”

His hips jump at the mere thought, the idea of you laying on your side as his cum drips down from your sex all the way down your thighs.

“We did it with protection a lot ~We always followed the rules of our agreement…”

Hands dive between you two, Cater’s eyes never leaving yours as he works to get his pants off while his hands try to unbutton yours as well. You smile and meet him halfway again, taking your own bottoms off and tossing them carelessly to the side as you both are left in nothing but your underwear.

“Every time we did it--you always looked like you wanted to do something else--”

Cater takes the chance of you biting your lower lip to go a bit faster, the tip of his cock rubbing against you at a faster speed as he changed position quickly and hooked your knees over his elbows.

“And at first---at first I thought it was just you getting bored…”

He gasps when two of your fingers press right at the tip of his cock, the way he was moving his hips allowing it to rub comfortably against the padding of your fingers as you gently cooed at the precum gathering there.

“But one time I was able to see it. See what you really wanted--!”

His own hand makes his way in between the mess of hips and stuttered movements, his fingers tracing a familiar pattern up and down your sex as he feels you pull him out of his boxers and start to pump in rhythm.

“If...If you cum after me...I’ll let you cum inside...”

It’s starting to get hotter, Cater feels like he can see his own breath fogging up his vision.

“Count it as reward…”

The coil in his stomach is tightening, your hands moving faster as his stutters with the rhythm you were setting.

“For being honest with me at least one time.”

It’s a sticky mess, the white stuff sticking to your belly and his as he rides out his orgasm against your hand and stopping altogether when the feeling gets too much. His fingers work overtime before your back arches and you give into yours as well, your toes curling for a moment before your feet hit the mattress unceremoniously.

He didn’t know where in the world that had come from or what possessed you to talk like that...but that was probably the hardest he had released in the month you two stopped interacting with one another.

Cater looks at the mess once again before moving to clean it up, stopping only when he feels a hand tug at the front of his shirt and a pair of lips meeting his all over again.

“Offer is still on the table, senpai.”

You unbutton the first few buttons of your shirt, smiling as larger hands batted yours away to continue the job.

“Please do your best to hold out longer.”

[ignisnocturnalia]

Variks x Reader Relationship HC's

Gonna write you as a new light, apologies my God-slaying siblings

News of the Pyramids over Europa reaches far and wide, as does stasis

With this discovery, relayed by a veteran guardian, also reveals news of the Eliksni who instigated the riot at the Prison of Elders

Being freshly revived, there's not much you can make out of the hostility the other Guardians offer the alien

Curious about him, you make a bold request to be stationed on Europa to "monitor" him

Of course, Zavala denies your request and speaks of how important your guns would be here at home

While you say you understand, you're secretly trying to find your way around it

The Drifter

You heard about his escapades to the frozen planet, reasons unknown, but still able to slip through Vanguard sanctions

As usual, a Guardian siding with the Vanguard approaching you with a purpose usually isn't a good thing

"Somethin' you want, kid?"

His tone is carefully jovial, bordering neutral, but you're not foolish enough to think he actually trusts you

"I need to get to Europa."

He stares at you for a solid minute before sizing you up, an inquisitive glare settling on his face

"What's in it for me?"

Having been on Strike detail for months on end, you've got a sweet heap of glimmer and nothing to use it on; you know he doesn't care a lot for the currency, so you offer up your weapons alongside it

He gives you a lopsided grin as he takes the arsenal, waving off the glimmer and taking you to his ramshackle ship

Unsurprisingly, it's a quiet ride, your own Ghost unsure of your actions

Drifter gives you little warning before transmitting you off the ship, leaving you to fall flat on your ass in the deep snow

Despite being a little upset about this, you finally see your goal, the very Eliskni that brought new questions to the ice planet

Every step you take lands your foot in a fluffy sheet of snow, sounding out with a crunch you had never heard before

Soon enough, you've completely deviated from the reason you came to the planet, completely obsessed with the snow under you

The entire time, Variks has been watching you from the window of his base making a fool of yourself

Distantly, he realizes that he thinks you're cute like that

"Here to help, yes?"

You are COMPLETELY caught off guard, turning quickly on your heel before slipping on the ice and landing flat on your ass

A shadow falls over you as you look up to see the well spoken Eliksni towering over you, and you're immensely thankful for the helmet hiding your blush

He offers you one of his real hands, helping you up and you can't help but notice how his hunched form is hiding a solid 8" from his height

Bringing you inside, you slowly decompress from the outside chill and Variks formally introduces himself

You quickly take note of how each of his sentences are punctuated by insect noises, which are quite fun to hear

You explain your circumstances and even though you can only see his eyes, you can feel the confusion in the air

"You left the Tower.. to see me? Variks does not know who you are; you do not know Variks, yes?"

You're slightly disappointed but not surprised by his suspicious behavior, after seeing how other Guardians harped about him

You then remember something very important

"I don't have a ship to get back."

Your ship still sat in the Hangar, locked down until it was needed for use

Variks stood in front of you quietly before also noticing something unusual about you; your weapons were missing

"Stay. I will contact your Commander."

You immediately spring from your seated position, grabbing at his shoulder before he can reach the comms

He seems to understand your plead

You spend the next few days eating freeze dried food, along with MRE's supplied by another curious party on Europa

Variks doesn't join you until he's finished eating in another room, and the conversations you can strike up are limited

You ask him to teach you Eliksni

He appears shocked at first but eagerly obliges, now showing up to eat with you

It's been a good couple of weeks, and you've got a few phrases and words under your belt

Nothing translates directly, everything is interpreted based on the small word choice

Variks didn't know, but you had spent the last 3 days trying to figure out what the closest thing to "I love you" was in Eliksni

That night, when you both settle down to eat, you eye Variks with a renewed purpose

The fuzz in your brain dissipates as, astoundingly, he moves to take off his mouth cover

You can't help but stare at his revealed face not noticing how he fidgets a bit under your intense stare

"Apologies, (y/n). I did not mean to ruin your appetite."

It was now or never

Moving over to sit next to him, you shyly looked up to see he had yet to put the mask back on, instead looking at you with uncertainty

"Yu ne ze." You are my gift. I love you.

The Eliksni's eyes widen and his body stiffens and you worry for a second that you've made a mistake before he turns fully and leans into your face

"Ma yun ne."

His mandibles are often used to caress your face

You find yourself with gifts and trinkets waiting in your small room in the base

He has you spot check his weapons, testing them out and generally having a blast with them

Other Guardians have seen you on occasion, but very few have approached you to ask questions about the mysterious Eliksni

Variks loves it when you hold his hands, even more so when you pet his face

When you find out he can purr, it's one of the most sought after sounds during your intimate moments, and sometimes he will purr simply to indulge you

Even if you're an undead warrior, Variks still piles furs on to your shoulders to make sure you don't get cold during outings

You have had to fend off assassins, often at the cost of your life

This pushes you to accept the deceptive whispers of the Pyramid, carrying you all the way to the Exo Stranger's den

She reluctantly agrees to teach you because of your inexperience, and although neither of you say anything, you and Drifter make quick eye contact

Variks can smell the Darkness on you and is very disappointed, but he doesn't tip off that he knows

Instead, he uses it as an excuse to put you under house arrest

He catalogues every single symptom you have that could barely begin to resemble a sickness, encouraging you to stay inside until you're better

During the nights, you notice he holds you much more tightly against his body

You apologize for your zealousness regarding his safety

Your lessons in Eliksni continue, and soon enough you can hold your own in small conversations with him

Whenever you or Variks look at each other trying to figure something out, you both always ask about the question in your mind

Whoever is asked ends up sitting in the other's lap, but you've found that it's much more convenient to sit in his own

This exploration leads to daily petting or grooming sessions, giving way for more risque activity to take place

Nsfw 👁👄👁

Variks orients himself as a switch, but you can tell he enjoys being on the bottom a little more if his rapid breaths are anything to go by

Brushing and lightly scratching segments on his exoskeleton are immense green lights for him, especially adding just enough force to push into the seams between his limbs

He's very gentle with his teeth, but the red marks he leaves on your body are generous from the amount of fondling he carries out

He's perfectly fine with both of you being bare, so long as a heat source is nearby

This level of exposure allows you to feel every rumble, trill, and moan straight from his chest and you can't deny just how hot it is to have an entire alien making these noises because of you

He delivers plenty of foreplay, always giving you the option to back out of it

With your size difference, you have to work to move up and down his body when you're both laying down

One of his favorite things is when you drag your teeth along his neck or chest, no real threat of harm but an undeniable thrill for him

He may start slow, but towards the end? You're better off simply letting him take care of you the next day

Fluff

After particularly tedious days, you will pull him into your shared room and pepper his face with kisses

Whenever he wants to nap, he selectively chooses your lap so you can massage his back or his forehead

Following the official announcement of your relationship, Zavala finally submits and gives you full permission to stay stationed on Europa, at the price of lengthy field reports at the beginning of every month

Variks, of course, teases you while writing these papers

He'll correct a mistake you made way back in the paper, laughing quietly in the back of his throat as you fume at the obvious inaccuracy

Besides Vanguard papers, you've taken it upon yourself to make him a new arm

You decide to gift it to him once the Dawning starts

Note: I leave some of my handcanons open ended for more ideas, and yes, I am aware they are more like one shot/hc hybrids, but hey, take it as an invitation to ask me to actually write out the whole thing. I will not write out explicit nsfw unless asked, and if I am asked, it will always be gratuitous and extremely detailed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Finals are eating my timbs tho, so I'm currently attempting to study for these hellspawn

[agentnolastname]

Three Days of Christmas

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Washington Middleton (M!OC) x Rafael Aveiro x Bryce Lahela

Word Count: ~1900

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. Washington (the OC) belongs to the giftee. While Ethan, Rafael, and Bryce belongs to Pixelberry.

Note: This a short fic written for @homeformyheart choices potluck event. I have written this for @gamechoices-player! I'm sorry because this took so long, and I hope you enjoy reading it! Fic under the cut!

***

A week before Christmas

"You mean none of yours fully matches with my calendar?" Washington says with a slight frown on his face as he looks down on all the schedule cards laid down on the table. Ethan, Bryce, and Raf all sat in front of him. Ethan just nods at this while the other two shrugs, giving him a smile.

"It's not that bad! We all have a common holiday with you, and we will spend it together." Rafael says trying to ease the mood in the room. It is night anyway, and it is cold outside. A little warmth inside would definitely help in one way or another.

"Right, spend it together, but not you three at once." Sighing, Washington leans back on the couch.

Bryce immediately moves to sit beside him, 'We all know us four can't be absent from Edenbrook. They need the best staff out there, don't they?"

True enough, they already expected this. And yet, Washington can't help but feel sad. Maybe he is just feeling greedy, but it's their first Christmas together! And it needa to be spent with them altogether, which seems impossible now that only him and Ethan have the Christmas free on their calendars.

"Let's just make the most out of it, hmm?" Ethan says suddenly, making all of them nod.

"I guess it'll do." Washington shrugs, and they all laid out some plans together before they decided to call it a day.

Six days before Christmas

"Good morning, babe." Bryce greets as soon as he opens his eyes. Washington smiles at him, basking in the feeling of having a complete eight-hour sleep without feeling guilty about it.

Maybe I can sleep some more.

Bryce must've noticed his intention to slip back into sleep, which is why the man had immediately placed a quick peck on his lips, lightly tapping his cheeks in the process. Washington groans but proceeds to look at the man though, one eyebrow raised in question. Bryce laughs at him before finally reminding him of their agenda for today, "I believe we need to head into the mall, your majesty."

Washington playfully hits the latter's chest at the nickname, but he gets up anyway, heading straight into the shower. Bryce followed in after a few minutes. And together, they showered, got dressed, and left the penthouse to the mall. Hand in hand, and with happy smiles in their faces.

Maybe this isn't so bad afterall.

It really wasn't much. As always, he enjoyed going out into the mall with Bryce. The activity was very usual for the two of them, but somehow, today was a little different. Maybe it was the continuous christmas songs playing on the radio, or the cold winter air that wraps them. Whatever it is, it sure brought a smile to both of their faces. So Washington is thankful.

The day went by quickly. Before he even knew it, Bryce was leading him into the parking lot as they push a cart full of christmas decorations approaching their car. His boyfriend smiles at him, the kind of smile that is sure to make everyone swoon- him included. Then something in his brain snaps, and his eyes grew wide.

"You forgot to buy your gift!" Washington says.

"Did I? I didn't." Bryce says and shrugs.

"But I did not see you?"

"It is called a surprise for a reason, babe." Bryce chuckles squeezing his hands.

"You've got a point."

And now that the worry is dropped, the two enters the car. Finally driving off home as the sun slowly sets on the east side.

Four days before Christmas

It was once again, Washington's free day. Today he shares it with Rafael. There is really nothing much to do, but to continue decorating the tree and placing the gifts underneath it.

It didn't last long, a few hours after they both woke up, Rafael is already placing the star on top of the tree. And it is the last of the trinkets they'd have to put. Now there's only a few things missing– the gifts.

"You got your gifts already?" Washington asked looking at Raf who is smiling brightly at him as they make themselves comfortable on the floor, sitting beside the tree.

"I got it a few days ago actually." Rafael shrugs, "Can I go and get it first so we can place it under the tree now?"

"Of course, love." With this, Rafael stands and walks into their room. Only to return with four gift bags in hand. On each one hangs a gift tag with their names on it, including his own. "You got one for yourself, too?"

"Yes, I did." Rafael says as he puts them under the tree. Then he immediately return to Washington's side and wrapped his arms around the man. "How are you feeling about holidays so far?"

"Great. I have you guys, what's not to feel good about?" Washington says and smiles at the latter before he leans his head into Raf's shoulders, "How about you?"

"The same as you." Rafael says simply as casts yet another bright smile.

Together, they adore the tree that stands in their living room, now fully decorated with red and gold trinkets. For people who aren't feeling Christmassy, it looks nice. Washington thought. And just like that, they are ready for Christmas.

Two days before Christmas

"Why are you up so early?" Washington asked as he strides into their kitchen, seeing Ethan wearing his dark blue apron on, and his hands are already so busy kneeding a large dough.

Washington approaches the man, he stands beside the latter.

"To finish preparing for christmas eve," Ethan answers before he looks up meeting the younger's sleepy eyes. Ethan's eyes visibly softens, before he leans in to kiss the younger on the forehead. "why are you up so early?"

"Looking for warmth." He says truthfully and shrugs. Ethan chuckles at this.

"It's good that breakfast is already ready then." The older man says, briefly leaving the though to get a plate of food on the other counter.

"Will you eat with me?" Washington asked as the man placed the food on the island closest to him.

"No, I already ate with Raf and Bryce earlier."

"Understandable."

Ethan just hums in response as his focus completely falls back into the cookie dough. Washington sits on the kitchen bar stool, eating what the older man had served him. It was their usual bacon and fries, but with the mash potato that he loves so much at the side.

"Are you making christmas cookies?" Washington asked as he recognized a santa cookie cutter. It's fairly new, they didn't have it before.

"Indeed, I am," The latter smiles at him. "Sienna had told me that you liked her cookies, so I'm making it all for you now."

"You're really so sweet."

"I believe the cookie deserves that compliment instead."

Chuckling, Washington returned back to eating. And the whole day was spent with Ethan just continuously preparing foods, after another. Washington helps him whenever he can. It was a fun day, all in all. Specially when Washington gets to steal a few cookies and kisses from time to time.

And no, this holiday wasn't bad at all.

Christmas Eve

Washington sighs as the last patient in the emergency room was assessed. It was nothing serious, and he was so glad that the patient was just dehydrated. So it really wasn't much. Finally, the emergency room is now empty, they can atleast take a little rest.

Heading straight into Ethan's office, he can already see his boyfriends through the glass walls. Once he enters the room, the three smiled at him, and it is only then that he noticed their clothes. The three are wearing the same christmas sweaters, and yes, even Ethan Ramsey is wearing it with a smile.

"What's all of this about?" He asked, making his way to sit at the empty chair in the middle of Raf and Bryce, facing the older man.

"Raf's gift to us. It looks good, isn't it?" Bryce said with a grin on his face, while Washington unwraps the gift Raf had handed him earlier.

"It is good," Washington says, smiling at the thought and slipping the sweater on. "Thanks, love."

"You are most welcome."

They spent a few minutes more talking with each other. And when Washington yawns, Bryce had immediately stood, looking at his clock, "I belive our shift is over now." He says, looking over the man beside him before he smiles at the other two, "Enjoy working on Christmas Eve, you two."

"My gift would be at home." Ethan suddenly says and smiles, "You two will see it first. Raf will see it in the morning when our shift is over."

"Of course."

"Take care, you two." Rafael says and stand to give each of them a peck on the cheek. Washington does the same for Raf and Ethan.

The ride home wasn't long, especially when Washington's view is of Bryce smiling widely on the driver's seat. It was a sight that can absolutely treat sore eyes. They immediately enter the apartment once they arrived, seeing the cookie jars resting on the coffee table with each their names on it. The cookies in the jars are each different. Bryce had chocolates in them since he loves it.

'I hope these will be enough to satisfy your sweet tooth. Merry Christmas.'

Both of them smiles at this, at least now they will not pester Sienna for sugar cookies. And it was a very thoughtful gift. That being said, Washington's eyes immediately went to the man happily munching on one of the cookies.

"Where's your gift?" He asked Bryce, opening his jar of cookies to do the same.

"Under the tree," Bryce paused and smiled, 'and also hanged on our door." He says pointing at their bedroom door where a mistletoe hangs.

"Did you seriously get a mistletoe for a gift?"

"Why not when it will earn me kisses?"

"You know you could just ask." Washington shrugged.

"Now, where's the fun in that?" Bryce said and the latter nods at him.

"In the morning then, so we will all be here. Now can we take a shower and rest? I'm literally so tired." Washington says and leans back on the sofa.

"Alright then."

And on Christmas morning, when Washington awoke, he finds all three of his boyfriends sleeping beside him. Ethan and Raf must have arrived a few hours earlier. Bryce stirs and smiles at Washington before he stood and got the mistletoe out of the door, placing it on top of their bed instead.

"Good morning." Bryce says and smiles, placing a tender kiss on his forehead.

"A mistletoe kiss on the forehead?"

"It will do for a while, extremes later?" He playfully said before he leans down to do the same for Ethan and Raf. "Now, we should go to work."

"You're probably right."

With this, Washington followed Bryce into the kitchen, preparing for work. And as Bryce prepares for breakfast, Washington sat in the dining room, thinking about everything that happened during the holidays. It's Christmas, and they are all together, it's the only gift he ever needs.

And despite their schedules not matching, his boyfriends were still able to find a way to spend time together. So no, this holiday isn't bad at all.

END.

[chocolate-parfait]

Congratulations on the 300! I see you do matchups?! (I really hope this is the right inbox, I'm still new to this) Could you do one for me (Mixed matchup IkeVamp, IkeSen)? INFP-A, like drawing, cooking, reading, writing, languages (translator to be), sarcasm, traveling, dogs. Don't like unnecessary drama, people disturbing my peace. I'm straigt forward and don't like but can be very confrontational but that rarely happens (no one wants to witness this). Unpaid therapist of all my friends. Thx!

Thank you, sweetie! Hope you enjoy~

I match you up with... Dazai!

Dazai is one of the few people in the mansion who enjoys his peace and tranquility, so aside some teasing and clowning here and there he won't be causing too much of a ruckus (unless Ai-chan is involved~)

Your relationship with Dazai evolves pretty slowly. From two acquaintances who exchanged basic greetings and made small talk every now and then, you slowly became friends who chill together while quietly enjoying the other's company, only to turn into a deeper relationship after various syntomps typical syntomps of the phenomenology of love took root in your hearts. Despite a comfortably unhurried evolution and what some may deem as just fleeting and superficial attraction, your feelings are actually genuine and strong. You and Dazai were able to find the perfect balance that not many couples are able to achieve; neither of you forces the other into something they don't want to do, and you can safely call the each other out without fear of hurting or offending, confident in the mutual respect and understanding you both have of the other

You can spend hours sitting together side by side in complete silence, only the ticking of a clock or a little bird outside comfortably filling the background. You read a book and he writes his newest novel or vice versa. Sometimes it's just one snuggling against the other in search of warmth and affection. It's extremely domestic and Dazai literally LIVES for it

Your romance falls into a steady routine that gives Dazai the impression of leading a completely normal life, just like any other man, finally free from all the doubts and sorrows that used to torment him back in his human days. As if the constancy of such lifestyle wasn't enough, he's also got you to fix up whatever trouble may pass through his golden orbs. You're always there to hear and help him out, and you're also the main reason why he was able to break free from his self destructive mentality, and knowing that you can live a happy, safe life just by being with him brings him ungodly amounts of joy.

One particular night you two had a semi-fight. During that period Dazai was already pretty much always on edge, despite concealing it pretty well behind his usual smile, but when the moon is high in the sky people are more vulnerable, and his remorse and self hatred all came flowing out at once. He absolutely didn't expect your reaction. For the first time ever since you arrived at the mansion, he saw fire burning in your moonlit pupils. Your usual serene tone slightly lowered to a much more aggressive and harsh pitch as countless words came out of your pretty lips. With each sentence you destroyed every one of his qualms just like a knight would cut down his enemies to save his princess. By the end of your discussion he was shocked and amazed to find how you had literally flipped everything upside down and gave him much to think about. A new perspective, things he ignored too much and others he cared too much about. After that night Dazai's usual behavior changed considerably towards you. You could now clearly feel the genuineness behind his smiles and gazes, the softness in his voice and movements when addressed to you. It was the spark that ignited the flames of your love.

Your favorite dates vary from strolls around the city to him teaching you Japanese. He has never taught a language to anyone before, but by having such a receptive student as you makes his heart swell with pride and he wants to try harder for your sake! He's actually on cloud nine ever since you asked him to teach you his native language. The fact that you want to get to know his country and a big part of him better means a lot to him, and it does nothing but strengthen his love for you

Dazai loves animals!! So even without pleading too much he'll agree on adopting a dog if you want one. He's going to take great care of it and you will often see him petting him while quietly babbling on various topics as if the poor creature could understand him

Second choice: Mitsunari

As the resident angel of Azuchi becoming friends with him was no difficult task, as he already trusted you with his life the moment you became a part of the Oda Forces. Additionally, he truly admires your kindness and care for others, so much that he can't help but happily praise you with the biggest smile on his face. Barely even a week passes and you already find yourself watching after him as you remind him to eat, sleep and maybe even breathe. Hideyoshi is extremely grateful as he finally can take it easier and not worry too much about the young man (he still does nonetheless, trust me)

On your part, hating Mitsunari is basically impossible, and even though your sarcastic retorts completely fly over his head (in return you gain Ieyasu's sympathy), spending time with him becomes the most natural thing in the world. Before you know it, you find yourself looking forward to being with him and your heartbeat confirms your suspicions. You may or may not have fallen in love with someone from the Sengoku period and the realization is a scary one. What will happen to your family and friends back home? And what about your dream job? But then that handsome smile, those vivid amethyst eyes full of tenderness, that soft voice that caressed your ears leaving pink warmth on your skin; it all came crashing down on you, leaving no other room for doubts.

If and when you confess him about your past and what had brought you to Honnoji that fateful night, you'll see the fires of an incredible passion taking ahold of his usually placid irises. He cannot fully explain with words the endless facets of what he's feeling, but he'll lock your hands in a tight grip and earnestly try to let out as much as he can. He vows eternal gratitude to you, the one who gave up everything for him, he who does not deserve such loyalty but decides to live up to the sacrifice you made. This new side of Mitsunari renews the love you felt for him, and at the end of his speech, in order to seal such an important promise, he kisses you on the lips, fiery and passionate

Everything escalates from there, and anyone in the castle can see how much close you two got in the blink of an eye. The moment you announce your relationship you get submerged from congratulatory blessings and gifts, even from a very grumpy Ieyasu who doesn't let this opportunity to slip in an ironic comment here and there

You may have given up on everything you had, but Ishida has no intention of making you regret choosing him over the rest of the world. If you're vocal and direct enough about your needs and wishes, he'll try to spoil you rotten at the best of his abilities. Your feet hurts? He's going to carry you bridal style to your bedroom to give you a two hours long massage. Headache? He's already in town with Hideyoshi to buy the best infuses for your head. He's very dedicated and it's very surprising to see him so active and attentive. If he starts getting too overwhelming the only choice you'll have is to explicitly tell him to tone it down a notch or two (please give him cuddles later, baby boy just wants to help)

Knowing about your love for travel, he makes sure to take you with him each time an inspection in a domain comes up, though he'll firmly refuse in case he deemed it to be dangerous. If something were to happen to you right in front of his eyes, he'd blame himself for 500 years and even more for not being able to save you. This is actually one of his biggest worries and from time to time he'll have related nightmares that cause him to wake up with a start, soaked in cold sweat. Take him in your arms, snuggle against his chest or cradle his head against your beating heart and most of the job will be done. If you happen to be concious enough and hear him out, console him with firm words of reassurance, press a kiss to his lips and he's going to be out like a candle in no time at all

Mitsunari is fascinated by the foreign languages you speak! You must have put a lot of time to learn all those exotic-sounding words, and he asks you to teach him a word or two. He's a fast learner and his brain has plenty of space to store whatever you say to him, and although he might cutely stumble every now and then, you're pretty surprised at the enthusiasm he's showing for your passion. He's going to take you to the tenshu to discuss with Nobunaga about a possible occupation involved with languages, and in no time at all you're already on your way to Nagasaki to discuss some deals with European and Asian merchants

[tiffanytheswiftie]

So every year on my birthday I kind of like to recap my year, and since I'm turning 29, I decided to model this year's after the Elle article Taylor Swift did at 29 entitled "30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30."

@taylorswift @taylornation

1. It's okay if people don't get my interests.

Over the years, I sometimes tried to hide my interests because I was worried people would think they were weird or wouldn’t understand them. It always seemed like a lot of my interests fell out of the “ordinary” interests of those around me. But I’ve learned that’s okay, and it’s okay if people don’t get it. If I enjoy it, that’s all that matters. Like the song says, if it makes me happy, it can’t be that bad.

2. I can love my body while also wanting to make it healthier/look better.

I have struggled with body image and my weight for the majority of my life, and I have always believed the biggest struggle was the mental aspect of it all. I thought I could only appreciate my body once it got to how I wanted it to look (which, it never has). I hated it. However, I realize now that the best way to improve it, is to love it, and appreciate it for what it does for me already.

3. It's not malicious to cut out toxic people.

Cutting out toxic people is hard, but necessary. I’m not calling someone up and saying, “I’m never talking to you again,” or completely ghosting them, however I no longer involve them in most aspects of my life. It’s freeing and better for my mental health.

4. Traveling is so important.

It’s no secret that I love traveling. I want to visit every continent (minus Antarctica), experience different cultures, see history, and experience new things. It’s important to open up my mind and broaden my horizons, and something I recommend everyone to do. It’s good to meet people from all over the world who live different lives and come from different lifestyles and philosophies. Plus, traveling is just so fun! Like Donna says in Mamma Mia 2, “life is short, and the world is wide, I want to make some memories.”

5. My path can and will change often.

When I first started trying to decide on a major for college, I seriously thought about at least 12 different career paths. And what I chose wasn’t even included in those at the time. Point is, my path will change often. My dreams will change often. And that’s okay! It doesn’t mean I failed, it just means my path has shifted onto something different. My initial dream may have just been setting me up to go down a certain path.

6. My life isn't on a timeline.

Honestly this is probably the hardest lesson I had to learn. Everyone, myself included, seems to put life on a timeline. I thought by a certain age I had to have a degree, I had to be married, I had to have kids, I had to have traveled to a certain amount of places, etc. and if I didn’t then it just wouldn’t happen. I hear people talk about other people and where they are in life. But no one’s life is on a timeline, and everyone’s big moments will happen differently. The only time it’s ever really “too late” is when I’m dead. And I’m not dead. I’m very much alive.

7. I need to be able to look forward to things.

Sometimes life can seem monotonous. Every day looks the same, and it can really wear me down. I always try to make sure I have something to look forward to. It could be something big, like a trip or Christmas, or something small, like watching a new movie. Either way, I keep a countdown app in my phone, and I look at it on days I feel like my life is doing nothing. I always make sure there’s something I can look forward to.

8. It's possible to be both brave and terrified.

My mantra in life has always been “Fearless.” I got it from a Taylor Swift quote when I was about 17 years old that says, “Fearless is not the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.” While I’ve always loved that quote and have used that word to overcome fears, it took me awhile to actually be able to fully embrace the idea of being fearless.

9. Water is good for the soul.

Drink water. It’s not only good for the soul, it’s good for staying alive. Hydrate before you die-drate. There’s nothing more satisfying then getting a big gulp of cool water.

10. I shouldn't care what people think of me.

This is something we’re preached our entire lives, yet often we still worry about the people who judge us. And that’s crazy. I only get one life and going through it worried about what someone thinks of me is a stupid way to live.

I think I can best sum this lesson up with the words from Sebastian Stan in Houston, “Don’t care about what other people say about you, just really don’t give a damn…you have to ultimately go ‘I’m doing this’ and people aren’t going to like that. Not everyone’s going to like what I do. So…who gives a f***? You know, if it feels good to you, and you’re helping somebody, or you’re not harming anybody, you’re being kind, you’re being considerate, then that’s it. That’s all you need.”

11. If someone judges me for my appearance, they are the ones with a problem.

One thing that has hindered me through the years is my fear of someone judging my appearance. I’ve let it affect every aspect of my life. For so long, I wouldn’t go to certain events, talk to certain people, participate in certain activities, travel certain places, date, go to restaurants, do fun things like dancing or swimming, etc. (and some I still don’t) because of being afraid people would judge how much fat is on my body. And I recognize that’s not a good way to go through life, and if someone judges me for that, they are the ones with the issue, not me. In the words of Brianna Wiest, “Focus on what your body does more than what it looks like doing it.” And I’ve been trying to live those words.

12. I need to live in the present, not the future.

I tend to freak myself out by thinking either too far ahead or about things that haven’t (and might not) even happen. I think about what age I’ll be in 10, 20, 30 years. I’ll think about what might go wrong with something at some point. It’s not healthy, I will drive myself crazy overthinking about this. One of the biggest things I’ve learned is to live in the now. It’s good to have future plans or be prepared for the future, but never forget to live in the present. Focus on the now. Live now.

13. It's good to try different things to figure out if I'm interested or not.

It’s so good to try different things out to discover if it’s something I enjoy or not, something I want to pursue or not, etc. It’s so easy to sign up for a class, look up a tutorial, or just get out and try. I have tried a lot of things in my life that ended up not being what I decided to put all of my energy into, but that’s a good thing. I don’t have to ask myself “what if?” and some of it I still enjoy doing as a hobby.

14. Writing is good for my mental health.

If you follow me on any social media, or are reading this right now, then you probably know that I tend to write things out often. I enjoy writing. It’s one of the ways I express myself, and it’s good for me. It’s therapeutic. I write when I’m excited, happy, or sad. I write out poetry or songs or just short little essays. I enjoy it, a lot, and I’m glad I’ve embraced it.

15. Read as much as possible.

Reading is good for so many reasons. It makes me smarter, it makes my brain more active, and it takes me into different worlds. It also lets me experience things or understand things I might not have otherwise. It helps to stop my mind to slow down and focus on one thing. Reading is important for everyone. It can be a novel, a short story, a magazine, whatever. Just read.

16. A good night's sleep can make a huge difference.

Trying to get a good night’s sleep just makes the next day better and is good for my mental and physical health overall. I’ve had crazy sleep schedules, sometimes from work hours but mostly because I’m an anxious night owl who pushed myself to stay awake and watch movies rather than going to sleep. I honestly feel better now that I’ve got myself on a better sleep schedule.

17. I should push myself out of my comfort zone but also know my limits.

I would have missed out on a lot if I hadn’t pushed myself out of my comfort zone, and I hope to do it even more in this next decade. It’s good to run towards some of the things that terrify but fascinate me. However, it’s also good to know that everyone has limits. It’s good if I can recognize situations or places that always make me feel uncomfortable and to try and keep myself out of that environment.

18. Music and concerts are therapeutic.

Music has been a part of so many aspects of my life (as it is for many). It’s played on road trips, at parties, at big life events, in my room, in the movies I love watching, and the list goes on. It’s no surprise that music is therapeutic and something so many people can relate to and love. One of my favorite parts about music is getting to go to concerts. Taylor Swift, Julia Michaels, Aly & AJ, Miranda Lambert, Britney Spears, Demi Lovato, and Selena Gomez are just some of the artists I’ve been lucky enough to see in my life, and whose concerts let me really let loose, and just be in the moment and feel all the feelings. And that’s great, and something I hope I get to experience quite often in the next decade and beyond.

19. It's important to be knowledgeable about the world.

This can be looked at in two different ways.

On one hand, learning about other cultures and places is interesting and important on opening up the mind and broadening horizons (kind of like what I stated about traveling). It’s cool to see how people live, talk, what customs they have, etc. and to recognize that while we’re all different, we also all have a lot of things in common.

On the other hand, it’s important to be knowledgeable of the issues in the world. It’s good to know what big concerns there are and learning about them so I can see where I stand on it as well as knowing what I can do to help people. For example, with refugee crisis, knowing what is going on in their country and what they are facing so I can look into what I can do to help provide assistance (such as donating, raising awareness, praying, etc. We can all do something). It’s important.

20. Be active in politics and be respectful with politics.

Being active in politics is vital to helping shape the present and future. Being educated about issues, empathizing with people, being aware, opening up my world to be bigger, and having an open mind is all important when approaching politics. It’s also imperative that I make sure I am always respectful when doing this. If I disagree with someone, I don’t attack them. If someone attacks me, I ignore them. If you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. Don’t play stupid games.

21. Dog videos and cat videos will always make me feel better.

There’s not much to say about this except it’ll always make me happy and dogs and cats are so cute and deserve all the best things in the world. Also please send any and all dog and cat videos my way.

22. It’s so good to get to meet people from different backgrounds, lifestyles, cultures, etc.

Through traveling and living several different places, I’ve been lucky enough to meet people from all over the world. This has opened up my mind and has helped me to be able to recognize the different issues people face. It has helped me see so many lifestyles and values and I have learned a lot about the world through these people. I am thankful for them.

23. Being open about mental health is so important.

I have social anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder, AKA anxiety and depression. I’ve talked about this a lot in the past few years, however it took me awhile to get to that point. I was first diagnosed at 17 and it wasn’t until I was about 25 that I finally was able to be open about it and talk about it (and I have to thank Jared Padalecki for being a huge reason I was able to do that through his words and Always Keep Fighting campaign).

Mental health isn’t just about diagnosable disorders, though. Everyone has mental health, just as everyone has physical health. Mental health is just as important as physical health and should be treated as so. It’s okay if a couple days need to be taken to feel better. It’s okay to not be okay, as cliché as that sounds. The more open people are about mental health, the more awareness there will be, and that will lead to healthier minds.

24. Encouraging friends is something that should be done daily.

Let me repeat that, ENCOURAGING FRIENDS IS SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE DONE DAILY. Everyone needs encouragement. Uplifting others is the easiest thing a person can do that can make such a big impact. Uplift them, encourage them. I am genuinely so proud of so many of my friends, and I try to tell them that often.

25. Watching movies will always be my joy and therapy.

I watch a lot of movies. A lot. And it’s because I genuinely love them. I find so much joy and entertainment being able to escape into different worlds and lives and situations for a couple hours. I also turn to them when I am sad or dealing with anxiety and depression and need something to help me. They are therapeutic. They are fun. I am thankful they exist, and I don’t care if that sounds weird to someone (see #1). I also love learning about them and knowing different aspects of them, such as how a scene was filmed or how an actor approached the character. Random challenge: when watching one of your favorite movies, take yourself out of the story for a minute and just watch the characters on screen as actors. It’ll blow your mind on how talented they are.

26. Creativity can be expressed in a lot of ways.

I’m a relatively creative person and sometimes it feels like I can’t find a way to express that, which makes me go crazy. I used to think I had to have a specific and grand outlet in order to express creativity, but that’s not true. I can express my creativity in the clothes I wear, the things I write, in painting or making bracelets, in photography and videography, or even in every day conversation. There are so many ways to express it, and none of them are wrong or not enough. I’ll do me and you do you.

27. It's good to have people who inspire me, but I shouldn't put them on a pedestal.

A lot of different people inspire me. Some are family, some are friends, some are musical artists, some are actors, some are YouTube creators, some are activists, some are just random people on Instagram or Twitter or wherever, and the list goes on. And it’s great to be inspired by other people. It’s nice to have people to look up to or who inspire me to be myself or express myself. However, it’s always important not to put them on a pedestal. Nobody is perfect. We’re all people.

28. Be kind, be empathetic, be patient, but stand up for myself.

Kindness, empathy, and patience are all things we should strive to have. I always try my hardest to be kind to everyone (sometimes I fail, like everyone, but I try). I have realized I have a lot of empathy, which is great and I’m thankful that I have that. I’m working on patience with myself, but I do try to be patient with other people. However, I also need to know when to stand up for myself. Sometimes people mistake kindness for weakness and try to push me down; I shouldn’t let them do that. I can still be kind while standing firm.

29. I may never understand a struggle someone's going through but that doesn't mean it's not real.

Often times when people talk about their struggles, I see others say, “well I have never experienced that or have seen that so it must not be true.” And that’s a poor way of thinking.

For example, as a white person, I’ll never fully understand the struggles and obstacles that racial minorities face. But it’s so, so important I still recognize that those struggles and obstacles exist and do my part in trying to help improve them. Another example is that a man will never fully understand the struggles and obstacles I face as a woman, but they should still recognize that those things are real.

30. I know that age is just a number and turning 30 next year just gives me a new decade to look forward to.

And last but not least, turning 29 shouldn’t be a scary thing. Age shouldn’t make anyone sad or feel like they have failed at life or something for not reaching a certain point (see #6). People put too much emphasis on age sometimes and it’s ridiculous. I’m 29. I’ll be 30 next year. It doesn’t mean anything except that I’m given a new slate to start a new decade of my life, and that should excite me, not scare me. So here’s to 29, I hope my last year in my 20s is great…but I have a feeling my 30s will be even greater.

[floofsta-x]

Blood On My Hands (For You) [E]

genre;; dark / realistic fantasy, 1920s mob / mafia!AU, serial killer!AU 

pairing;; Mainly Chae Hyungwon x Lee Minhyuk [Hyunghyuk]. Also, Shin Hoseok x Son Hyunwoo [Showho] and some Lee Jooheon x Im Changkyun [Married!Jookyun].

plot ;;

After Minhyuk’s first mob kill, his initiation as you will, he discovers that he can see the grim reaper: Hyungwon, the one who brings finality to the souls of hell-bound dead. Once the initial encounter is past, Minhyuk can’t get him off his mind. Quickly, his desire grows to see, touch--and maybe kiss--the tall, handsome, dark-haired man. So, he turns to some very questionable methods.

Based on this Reddit prompt.

⚠️ warnings;; violence, blood/gore, criminal activity, murder….angst…um maybe a bit of fluff? Smut, smut to an end (unwillingly fucking a man to kill him)...Good God just….hold on

words;; 14,914 (15k)

author’s notes;; so this fic was written for the 2017 MX Halloween fic exchange on AO3! It was based off a prompt given to me by @dirtyretrowrites, and I had a really really fun time with it. I don’t get a chance to write anything quite this dark very often. That said, this fic you might notice is not as refined as my others. Welcome to Bry writes raw! I thought that by only doing minimal editing and not my usual, extreme regimen, I could capture a little more of the dark, gritty theme. Anyways! Enjoy!

am I so primal? am I so cruel? I'd do anything to be closer to you. is it so carnal? is it a sin? I'll go to hell for my hands on your skin. vicious contention, I drive myself mad, all for a lover that I'll never have. is it so wicked to want you this much? desperate and dangerous, just for your touch? I'll be a slave, I'll be a killer, do anything that I have to do. I'll be a saint, I'll be a sinner, I put this blood on my hands for you. ⟶ Blood on my Hands - HIDDN and LEVV.

Lee Minhyuk ran for his life. Adrenaline coursed through him, and all he could hear was the pounding of his feet and his heartbeat in his ears.

The night was warm and calm, a direct contrast to the feelings tearing apart the tall, platinum blond’s heart at that moment. He and his three buddies had only made it out of the alley, but already he was gasping for air. There, they stopped, giving Minhyuk a chance to run a hand through his hair and sink down against a brick wall. Somehow, his racing mind had three thoughts going simultaneously: fuckfuckfuck, what the hell just happened, and I didn’t sign up for this bullshit. His legs wanted to take him far, far away from anyplace, and yet he felt frozen to the spot. Paralyzed, even.

“Good work, men,” a low voice, familiar though now suddenly unrecognizable, cut through the air. “I had a feeling that the deal was dirty, so I’m glad we came prepared.” All eyes turned to the tall, slender young man in a pinstripe vest. “Minhyuk, you work very nicely. You’ve more than passed your initiation ton–Minhyuk?”

Minhyuk hadn’t realized that his hands were coated thickly with blood until he had felt something wet drip down his head. Now he pressed a hand to the alleyway wall, and it left a print. Standing there, trembling, tracing the impressions of long, slender red fingers with his gaze, he was re-living things he had tried so desperately to forget, though it had only been minutes, well, actually, hell—seconds ago.

That man–I stabbed him–

The world fell away as his senses were flooded with memories: taking out the plain black handkerchief (so he wouldn't leave prints), and the feeling of a dagger thrust into his hand. The victim hadn’t even seen a moment of what was coming. Minhyuk stole up behind him and encountered tensile resistance when he plunged the knife deep into the other man's neck. As he had twisted the blade cruelly, there was a croak of pain, perhaps one last weak cry for forgiveness. A red, red stain had washed from the center of the wound, running in wet streaks down the back of the poor bloke's dark suit. Then Minhyuk had finished the job with a thrust through the heart. After that, all he needed to do was push, and a bloody corpse lay on the ground, eyes open, never to move again.

It was not something he had wanted to do, but when he had been told—he went. After all, if he refused, they could kill him. Such was the mob. Dirty, dastardly, hiding in the deepest shadows.

After a moment of dead, eerie silence, the leader hissed to his comrades. “We don’t have time. Leave him here, and he’ll come around. We’ll see him back at the house, soon.”

Minhyuk wasn’t sure how long he sat there, unmoving. It might have only been seconds; but it seemed like hours, days, an eternity perhaps. Some small part of him realized how alone he was after the three other pairs of feet scurried away. Yet, he couldn’t find the will or way to follow. His brain was still whirling at what seemed like hundreds of miles an hour, trying to come to terms with himself, stuck in a cycle of never ending confusion and revulsion.

When he finally snapped back fully to the present, he found himself terrified and shivering, even through the wool of his suit. It crossed his mind that perhaps the temperature had dropped to below freezing; but almost a rebuke came back. No, that wasn’t possible. There was a telling absence of steamed, frozen breath. He was just going into shock, that was all. Something deep inside him screamed that he had to get up and move before he froze to death here. So, he did. Minhyuk pushed himself to his feet and stumbled in a direction—which happened to be the way he had come, back towards the grisly scene of his first murder. His sluggish feet carried him to the alleyway, though every ounce of him did not like the idea. His eyes widened, and he immediately realized that saliva was flooding his mouth. As if his body was in rebellion, he doubled over and lost the contents of his stomach to the ground.

Goddamn. Fuck. Fuck this. All he could do was sit there for a moment, choking and gasping, until he finally straightened up and headed forward once again, making sure to avoid the pool of vomit. Somehow, he was still convinced that going to see the dead man might perhaps be smart, after all. Peace could wait for him there, and he'd pour out his heart, maybe confess his guilt—to a policeman or two eventually, he didn’t really care. He knew he had fallen too deep. The fate was inevitable, anyway. Minhyuk had a small circle of “friends” and some meager possessions in his name, but really nothing to lose. Jail, and a life sentence for first degree manslaughter, might be a better experience than what it was made out to be.

The night was still deathly silent, like all life and sound had moved away at the circumstances that had taken place not too long ago. Minhyuk had his eyes firmly fixed on the gap that led back into the alleyway as he slowly but surely made his way there.

No police sirens were in earshot, and the crime scene was still relatively fresh, so he was stunned to find someone hovering over the dead body. The blond pulled himself back into the shadows once he saw, and covered a mouth to stifle a gasp and heavy breaths. It certainly wasn't anyone he recognized right away, from his days mingling with mobmen, anyway. The stranger was tall, having a couple inches on Minhyuk, and skinnier too, wearing a long, loose trench coat and fedora hat. One could barely see a peek of fine dark hair underneath. He was illuminated in the light of the full moon shining overhead. For a moment Minhyuk stood, unmoving, as this almost unearthly figure knelt to brush his hand over the corpse’s pale, cold brow.

Then, a distinct baritone voice hit the blond’s ear. He almost immediately knew it was the stranger's, though he couldn’t see lips moving. It was lilting, perhaps a little bit smug, and as mysterious as the man himself.

“I know you’re there.”

Minhyuk had to bite back a gasp when the tall man turned to face him. He was...handsome. True, dark circles curved under his eyes, and something seemed off. (The reason wasn't quite apparent straight away.) But it was immediately of interest that his lips were pristine and plump. They might be cracked a little bit perhaps, but still were so, so enticing. His facial structure, as well, was perfect. Not to mention his figure...he could be a model for some high end clothing catalog.

The mob man had no choice but to speak now, after so obviously having been caught. Nervously, he swallowed and cleared his throat. Despite his best effort, his voice came out weaker than he wanted. "S—so what if I am? What does it mean to you?"

"Murderers...don't usually come back." An intense, scrutinizing gaze went right through Minhyuk and into his deepest fears. Damn, there was also, unexplainably, a sudden desire blooming within him at that very moment, the more his gaze shifted across the stranger's face and form.

The platinum blond couldn't bring himself to speak for a while. Eventually, though, he managed to stutter at least something. "I—don't—u...understand?"

"Why would you want to see the aftermath of your own crime?"

"Wait--you think I killed him? You have to be joking. I'm an innocent passerby."

The stranger guffawed. "Look, don't even try lying to me. There's blood on your hands. On your face. Down the front of your suit. Even in your hair, for Chrissake." He turned away, staring into the dark at the other end of the alley. Minhyuk wasn't completely sure how the next whisper reached his ears and didn't die, even in the stale air.

"Besides, your image is imprinted on his soul."

Nothing the tall man said or did was threatening, but somehow Minhyuk on high alert. The nudge in his brain that this could be dangerous seemed to finally be getting through to him. Instinctively, he stepped forward, acting on fight impulse. It wasn't really out of boldness, but a sudden and intense fear. He thrust his hand deep into a coat pocket, ready to pull the silver revolver that was there. "Wh—who are you, anyway?"

Seemingly undisturbed by Minhyuk's sudden, intense body language, the tall boy held his ground. "Of course. Naturally, you want to know." Strained, he sighed and continued, with much difficulty, "Once...a long time ago, I was called Chae Hyungwon."

Even as it hit his ear for the first time, a burning need overtook Minhyuk to never forget the name. Somehow, it described its bearer so well—whispering of prosperity and delicacy, high class and bearing. He could be a prince. Still, he hadn't asked the most important thing. "And what are you doing here?"

"Well...there is a title, a position, I call my own, but I don't believe humans quite know it the same way we do."

"Humans? Are you saying you're not?"

"I was, once. But now...I am simply a messenger to this corrupt and evil-filled Earth. I clean up messes and that is all."

"Yeah...no. You're not making sense. Are you here to drag the body away?"

Hyungwon chuckled lowly, mirthlessly. "I don't deal with physical evidence. I'm here for this mess." When he snapped his fingers, next to him rose a smoky, grayish-pale mass, which churned and swirled to take the shape of a man, screaming eternally, mouth open in an unnatural, unhinged manner. Its features became sharply defined, even in the low light. Quickly, it became obvious that it was an exact match to the figure laying on the ground.

Minhyuk suddenly wanted to throw up again. "That's—"

"His spirit." Somehow, that lilting baritone still cut through the blond's incredulous muttering. "I am what you mortals call, perhaps...a grim reaper."

"But you are not grotesque in the least." Admittedly, at the words, the image of a hooded, robed figure with a scythe and skeleton face had come to Minhyuk's mind. "Perhaps a little pale and heavy-eyed, but..." Honestly, you're one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

"And that is where the human definition of a grim reaper has gone astray. We are not ghastly. We walk among you." Almost before he had registered it in his mind, Minhyuk found himself face to face with the taller man. "Our appointed purpose is to guide the souls of the unsaved dead to their eternal rest in hell."

The blond's jaw was stuck open, unable to utter even a sound, in a moment all thoughts replaced by those of Chae Hyungwon. He was even more ethereal up close. All his muscles urged him to just reach forward, touch him, every inch of him, indulge a sudden and insatiable desire and curiosity.

But the moment was shattered by a woman's scream. She and her boyfriend turned into the alley, probably to make out, and froze at the sight of the dead, bloody body. In moments, they noticed someone else was still there as well. Then the couple was back out again, pounding feet thrumming on the sidewalk outside.

"I better go," Hyungwon sighed. "I have lingered too long as it is."

Minhyuk's eyes shot open, and he reached forward to grab the almost too-warm forearm of the taller boy. "Wai—wait, will I see you again?"

It was the other's turn to seem almost surprised. For a long moment he pondered what to say, before admitting, "Perhaps. Wherever I am needed, I will be." Then dark, stately Hyungwon was disappearing, fading into the shadows, gone without a trace.

"Minhyuk, come get ready for supper."

The calling voice jerked Minhyuk out of his reverie on the couch, and stirring slightly, the blond sighed. "Alright, give me a moment, Kihyun-ah."

A couple of weeks had passed since the whole alley incident, and as expected, nothing had come from the sudden and terrible death of the mob man, at least from the police. No investigation was made, no charges pressed. Not even a blurb about it was put in the daily newspaper. Minhyuk could feel the effects in his own life, though. Some of the higher-ups, and also those in his level of prestige, were more willing to look him in the eye or acknowledge his presence. He was finally considered a mob brother, after close to seven years of slaving for it, day in and day out. He hadn't chosen the life, but that was all he had now. Ever since he had been pulled in by him. Minhyuk cringed and growled under his breath at the thought of the man who insisted on being called sir, and...was practically the reason for everything that had gone wrong in his life. Even, perhaps, his very genesis.

But that was an issue for later. Minhyuk, having taken a moment like he said, pushed himself up and wandered into the kitchen, where five place settings were laid out his friend's kitchen table. Four pottery plates, and one paper. The very top of a booster seat poked up over the edge of the tablecloth. Yoo Kihyun was setting out everything they'd need for Bulgogi, a slight smile playing across his normally-serious expression. "Make yourself comfy. We'll dig in as soon as Jooheon, Changkyun, and Yujin are here."

Minhyuk did as he was told, pulling out the chair farthest from the booster, not the one with Kihyun's jacket draped over the back, either. In the midst of his friend's trips back and forth to the table, the blond felt himself start to drift off into his own thoughts again. Chae Hyungwon... As much as he had tried to forget the grim reaper entirely, Minhyuk had been unable to. The sight of his strained but handsome face hovering near his own was the ever persistent ghost of a memory. He desperately wanted to touch him, and probe deeper into the mystery of his tall, slender presence. The problem was though, how he was going to be there when Hyungwon appeared? He could go to nursing homes and things, places where fresh death was thick. But all at once it came back that the reaper had said it himself: "Our appointed purpose is to guide the souls of the unsaved dead to their eternal rest in hell." So simply old and dying dead would not work. The sudden violent death of criminals was needed instead. An idea started to tickle at the back of his mind.

At that moment, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. Both boys didn't flinch; they both immediately knew who it was. Two low and laughing voices were the confirmation. Then, right on cue, a small face peeked around the corner. Minhyuk couldn't help but smile brightly, and a warm feeling filled his heart. "Oh!" He exclaimed, cutely. "Is that a Yujinnie I see?"

"You're right! It's me!" A five year old girl giggled and hopped into the doorway. The blond man held his arms out, and she ran right to them. "Uncle Min'ook!"

"Yujinnie!" The girl planted a gentle kiss on Minhyuk's cheek, and he smiled brightly, hugging her close, warmly, tightly.

Moments behind her were a familiar pair of dimpled faces: Jooheon and Changkyun. Their fingers came untwined as they stepped in to greet their friends. "Now, now, Yujin, Don't crush Minhyuk in that strong grip of yours," Changkyun teased.

"I won't, Koon-ah!" She said, and promptly turned to crawl up Minhyuk's chest, making grabby hands. This time it was toward the other, short, black-haired man, standing nearby with a towel over his shoulder. "Uncle Ki'oon!"

"Hello, cutie." Gingerly, Kihyun took the girl from Minhyuk, setting her on his aproned hip and booping her nose. "How are you and your dads?"

"P'etty good."

By then, everyone had their affectionate gazes fixed on Yujin's glowing face. Her cuteness was irresistible, even to people as hardened and tested as all four of the older men were. They all had seen and done their fair share of shit for the mob. Jooheon, for instance, was a sniper, and had taken out some pretty prominent city figures. Changkyun had been a male prostitute before dedicating himself solely to his boyfriend and now husband. Kihyun could cheat at poker like it was nothing, and had a golden ear and tongue for intel. Not to mention seduction skills worth boasting about. And Minhyuk...well, you, reader, already know about Minhyuk. But, seeing this now, nobody could believe that. The four of them were together for one purpose and one purpose only: to celebrate the smiling and giggling bundle of cute joy that was the two youngest boys's adopted daughter.

In minutes, all five of them were seated, and Kihyun was cooking the first round of meat. Of course, the first few pieces went to the little girl, who widened her eyes at the taste. "This is really good! T'ank you, Ki-yoon-ah!"

"Of course, Yujin." Kihyun seemed to be glowing at the little girl's praise. She had them all wrapped around her little finger. When Jooheon and Changkyun had decided to adopt a child a couple of months ago, none of them had been prepared in the slightest for the wild ride that awaited them. First, they went to a few orphanages, looking at potential matches, but it wasn't until the last one that things fell into place. Yujin had taken to them like a duckling to water. They had fallen head over heels and though the process to bring her home was long and complicated, they had persevered. Now she was an irreplaceable part of the family.

In no time, it seemed, The meat, rice, seaweed and water was gone, and everyone—most particularly the older boys—were leaning back in contentment. Kihyun looked ready to fall asleep, as well as Jooheon. However Changkyun still seemed pretty lively, and so did Yujin. "Play with me, Koon-ah." She begged, reaching her arms out for her younger dad.

"Alright, missy." The soft maknae scooped his daughter up into his arms.

"Uncle Min'ook-ah!" Little arms reached for Minhyuk as well. "You too!"

"After I do the dishes and help clean up. Ok?" Giving her a promise and a kiss on the forehead seemed to satisfy her. Nodding, she pushed on Changkyun's shoulder, nudging him to the living room. He only stopped for a moment, to lean over and peck Jooheon on the lips, before they were wandering out.

Minhyuk wasted no time in starting to collect dirty plates and taking them to the sink. It was a potentially long job, but he didn't mind. It was the least he could do to repay his close friend for the food. Also, it gave him a few more seconds of silence. Eventually, Kihyun and Jooheon moved away from the kitchen, allowing the blond some head space. He couldn't get the events of his initiation and the following strange encounter out of his head. He was almost totally lost in them—it was a miracle he didn't drop anything or break dishes.

Some time passed, exactly how much, Minhyuk wasn't sure, before little, running footsteps came into earshot again. Sure enough, Yujin came barreling around the corner. The blond couldn't help but grin as he dried a plate and set it with the others, to be put away later. "What are you doing, squirt?"

"Shh. I'm hiding from Koon-ah!" With that, she gave a giggle and dived forward, hands scrabbling for Minhyuk's calves. The feeling of small, chubby fingers on his ankles made the blond's heart warm and his smile grow. Maybe one day, he'd be able to have a child of his own, a small person who'd he selflessly give his love to—

In my dreams.

"Uncle Min'ook?" The five-year-old's voice startled him out of his thoughts. Minhyuk glanced down to see her curious eyes on him again. "W'acha t'inkin 'bout?"

"Oh, nothing, Yujinnie," he smiled encouragingly, the best he could. "Just grown-up stuff."

She didn't quite seem to be convinced, though; and a brief second later, she asked a question that flipped Minhyuk's world upside-down.

"You've seen him, haven't you?"

She could have been talking about anyone, but for some reason, Minhyuk's heart nearly stopped at the question. "Seen who?" he replied, continuing to force a pleasant expression.

"The tall, nice man...in dark clothes. He has big lips, too." She traced her mouth, as if her own was thick and luscious as well. For talking about someone who dealt with death and damned souls, her voice wasn't any less cheery than before.

Some bile rose to the blond's mouth, and he forced it back down, making his throat burn. He managed to choke a question out, somehow. "Is he really handsome?"

"Yeah-yeah." Yejin nodded vigorously. "You did meet him!"

"Yes." His answer came carefully. "Have you?"

A little 'mhm' sound was her confirmation. Now Minhyuk couldn't wet his lips, and he was too parched to speak. Yujin's voice came out in almost a whisper, and she shuffled her feet. "I was still at the or'panage, and one night I couldn't sleep, so I decided to get up. He was in the hall. I was scared at first, but he was so nice. He smiled at me and gave me a pat on the head."

"Why was he there in the dark?"

Yujin furrowed her eyebrows, mood shifting. "He said that after he was gone, I wouldn't have to cry anymore. And Mrs. Matron died."

Was this really real? Was anything anymore? A plate came close to slipping out of his hand, and he couldn't help but gape. Faintly, in the back of his head, Minhyuk recalled that Mrs. Matron was the mean, cruel former orphanage headmistress, who had treated the children like slaves. Because of the mob, he knew a lot of evil, dastardly people, but he couldn't imagine one who looked down on and wanted to exploit even the smallest orphan child. Some of the things that Yujin said sometimes about her put his stomach in knots and made his blood run ice cold.

In a moment, however, his mind returned to the tall grim reaper. Hyungwon had...shown her affection? He hadn't as much as let the corners of his mouth tip up in Minhyuk's presence, but somehow the idea of him smiling to a little girl wasn't alien at all.

But then, suddenly:

"You like him, don't you, Uncle Min'ook?"

The blond's mind went blank, and he scrambled in his head for an answer. Thankfully, he didn't have to, as just then, Changkyun peeked around the corner and locked eyes with his daughter. "Yujinnie!" He chortled. "There you are! You're a good hider. Or, maybe Minhyuk hyung is just a good hiding place, huh?"

There was a bright giggle, and the girl ran to the younger man's arms. "He is a good hiding spot." After another moment, she piped up again. "I was telling him about the tall man!" Something went through Changkyun's eyes, maybe alarm. "You know him, too, don't you, Uncle Min'ook?" She was so eager; Minhyuk almost felt bad for choosing to ignore the question and not say anything. Dropping his eyes to the dishes, he instead turned to put a few away.

The younger boy hummed disapprovingly. "Maybe we should get you home and to bed. The last time you talked about the tall man, you were so sleepy you couldn't keep your eyes open."

"But it's true!" A gigantic pout appeared, and a few tears as well. "He said his name was 'ywon—'yugwon—or something."

"Hyungwon," Minhyuk murmured under his breath, and Yujin snapped her head around.

"See, Koon-ah!"

"Let's talk about this with Jooheon later, ok?" Though Changkyun's voice was calm and even, relaxed and unstrained, Minhyuk could feel his intense gaze. It drilled into the older's head like a factory machine. It was all too clear that he didn't believe Yujin's story, and was trying to chastise his hyung for entertaining it. Who in their right mind would do the opposite? It was ridiculous—to someone who had never met a grim reaper before.

When Minhyuk returned to his small apartment that night, jumbled thoughts swirled in his head. He got all ready for bed and climbed under the covers, but ended up laying awake. He thought that he had been in a confused state when he left, but that was nothing compared to now. There were all these questions prodding him, answers he needed to obtain. What of Chae Hyungwon? Where was he now? As much as Minhyuk knew it was wrong, and he was being irrational, he hoped that the tall boy was thinking of him at least a little. What was this new feeling, like butterflies blooming at the thought of the tall grim reaper's presence? Puppy love? Lust?

For all the mess in his head, his heart beat to one thing and one thing alone: No matter what it takes, I will find him again.

The blond tossed and turned for a long time before finally, around 2am, he finally paid attention to the tingling in his restless legs and got up, flipping on the lamp at his bedside. Without really knowing why, but with a purpose lingering in a dark corner of his mind, he approached his closet. There was a safe stashed away in the back corner, and he pulled it open. The object he needed was right at hand, wrapped in a particular, black, bloody handkerchief—the knife. He had pulled it from that first victim, perhaps as a token of sorts. But now, the more Minhyuk stared at the dried blood on the blade and traced its sleek, deadly shape with his gaze, he grew to see it not as a weapon and instrument of death. It was a chance. A chance to make all his dreams come true. Something inside him was screaming that this was what he needed to finally find peace, to set the wrongs in his life right. To rid the world of some little evil.

The next day, Minhyuk walked into the hideout with the dagger strapped to his leg, its sharp point grazing his thigh. Jabs of pain, and a small trail of blood that soaked into his sock reminded him what he was supposed to do. He was determined: in order to see the love of his life again, and settle a personal vendetta, he'd become a living nightmare to those who'd wronged him and his family. Starting, of course, with the man formerly known as his father's best friend. Ah, what a lying title. Bang Jeongmin was in all reality, a traitor, one of many. Minhyuk knew who all of them were by now—there was Jeongmin-hyung and seven others, plus him.

See, Minhyuk's parents had been part of the mafia, too. Not just his father, but his mother as well. Mr. Lee, senior was a bootlegger, making dangerous and highly illegal runs between alcohol-soaked territories and ones under prohibition; he was well-known to all the speakeasy owners in the area. Mrs. Lee, on the other hand, sometimes masqueraded as a prostitute and could use her way with men to get whatever intel she needed from the police. Quite a few attempts at justice were foiled thanks to her talents. They weren't bad people, just desperate ones who found themselves tangled up in shady activities. Each simply had a will to survive and their own, fallible human heart. This was clear in what happened with Mrs. Lee once her future husband started to woo her. She knew right away that he was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, and resigned from her life of deceit. Faithfully, she waited for him every morning, afternoon, and night. Though she still helped where she could, she didn't do many of the things she had before, no matter the offer or opportunity. All she wanted was happiness with her husband.

Mr. Lee never failed to come home to her, either. By all outward appearances, their life was peaceful and content. They were very much in love, and got married fairly soon after their romance began. It seemed that nothing could keep them apart.

Oh, people tried. First there was the fact that after getting married, some men seemingly took it upon themselves to hurt Mr. Lee. He started to appear more frequently with fresh, bleeding cuts and bruised eyes. It eventually became so bad that his face was constantly marred, almost unrecognizable. Despite Mr. Lee's tolerance and patience through this abuse, it didn't stop, like he hoped. He was still working so hard to make sure the mob's every need was met, and yet they still often beat him. He began to suspect some bigger player was involved in all this. In particular, there was one big man who looked at the bootlegger with an especially malicious eye. His name was Mr. Cha Jaemin, and he was a new player, a star in the underground. It seemed that every single woman in sight pined after him and his empire. Yet, he was infamous and wanted because he was ruthless, and his venomous smile was enough to instill fear in the heart of everyone. It wasn't like Mr. Lee could just pin everything on the rising kingpin, though. A motive, if any, was unclear, and he couldn't directly prove it was him ordering the beatdowns.

Mrs. Lee, meanwhile, was suffering greatly as well. Her husband was now a far cry from the man she loved and had married. At least his personality and heart hadn't changed. To her, he was also still so handsome. Still, she worried, though for a long time she was too scared to ask about details, keeping her questions far away from everyone, even the mob contacts she still had. The frequency with which she pulled him to the bathroom and applied ointment and bandages was getting to her, though, and it finally broke her spirit completely. There was a night when, crying and sobbing into his shoulder, she implored him to tell her why he was always so beaten up. If there was anything she could do to make it stop, she wouldn't waste a second.

That was just the thing, though. He was afraid that if he spilled everything, there would be terrible consequences. "The higher ups have decided they like to pick on me, for some reason," he said softly, caressing her cheek. "Don't worry about me. It'll stop once they realize that they owe me nearly everything they have." Then he leaned down for a passionate kiss. He could barely keep from hissing in pain when his lip tore open again, but all he wanted was to soothe her with gentle touches, and satisfy her need for more when it burned hot in her breast and core.

One night, she waited and waited up for him. 1am passed, but he still wasn't there. It was the first time in years he hadn't returned before midnight, and though Mrs. Lee tried her hardest not to worry, she couldn't sleep. Laying in bed, tossing and turning, she prayed to a higher power that he wasn't dead or dying, just truly held up at work. Even, arrested and in jail. Anything was better than not being able to see her husband again.

The door creaked open. She was facing away, and for a moment she held her breath and let a smile play on her lips, expecting to hear the telltale signs of Mr. Lee getting ready for bed before a warm body slid in next to her.

But instead, rough hands grabbed her shoulder, pulling her over onto her back. The faces of several men glowered over her, and a cool cloth was pressed to her mouth and nose. She tried to struggle and fight, but suddenly she was being pulled down, down into blackness...

This was what she had told thirteen-year-old Minhyuk in her last days. Despite his young age, he could remember everything about how she looked lying in a hospital bed, an unknown affliction tearing the rest of her life from her. Minhyukie had been crying and unable to say a word, listening in horror as she had proceeded to relate how she had woken up the next morning to a red-faced, incredulous, and livid Mr. Lee stroking her forehead. A broken man, he could barely keep from crying. Pain washed through her every nerve, especially between her legs. Of course, it didn't take her long to realize that she had been drugged and gang-raped.

It wasn't until the traumatized boy was older that he learned exactly what that implied, and, more importantly, why it had happened. See, Mr. Cha had been in love with Mrs. Lee, and only wanting her for himself, became irrationally angry when she had fallen for her husband. Selfish and full of desire, he indeed had been the one giving orders to treat Mr. Lee dirty. When that didn't work, next he organized a group of his closest men around him, with the sole intent to force their way into the Lee household and violate the young wife. If that horror story wasn't enough, Mrs. Lee became pregnant and birthed a baby boy nine months after the incident: Minhyuk.

Now, twenty-three years later, the mogul was the one and only object of Minhyuk's blinding hate, but also his boss and one of the richest and most powerful men in the city. The blond felt so ashamed that he had looked up to him as a mentor, before this dark twist had come to light. Minhyuk could potentially be—and probably was—Mr. Cha's son, and that made the young man sick. Hell, he had nearly lost his lunch and dinner all over the ornate office rug when at the age of sixteen, he had pulled Minhyuk into his office and used a claim on Minhyuk's true paternity to rein the boy in. Afterwards, there were plenty of situations where it was brought it up again. It was an effort to keep Minhyuk loyal and compliant, and so far, it had worked.

After the deathbed confession, Minhyuk had slowly come to realize that his parents were completely aware of this, but had treated him like their child anyway. That touched the young man's tender heart (or whatever was left of it, anyway) and made tears flow on so many occasions. To Minhyuk, Mr. Lee would always be his true father, not that ugly man who was loving, but in all the wrong, twisted ways.

Somehow, Minhyuk managed to convince himself that this was the true reason he was going to start his crusade to "murder in the name of good". It wasn't just because he longed for another encounter with Hyungwon. Though yes—he wanted to see the man again. Some considered him to be death itself, but it brought the blond strange new life.

It was all too easy to lure Jeongmin into a trap. All it took was the tantalizing promise of premium Cuban cigars. Minhyuk hated them, but he knew that others, including his target, would do anything for them. "Lemme see the goods first," The older mob man demanded when they met in the sandy, grimy alley, the same one the first murder had gone down in. Minhyuk grinned and casually held out the open box filled with the tidy rolls of tobacco, a treasure he had worked hard for.

Jeongmin reached for them, but the younger pulled away at the last moment, tsking. "Where's my payment?"

As the traitor grumbled and reached into his pocket for his wallet, that was when the blond made his move. In nearly the exact same place he made his very first stab wound, the bloody knife plunged deep into Jeongmin's skin. Surprised at such a powerful and sudden move from the normally-meek and timid Minhyuk, his eyes went wide, and he croaked the beginning of his murderer's name. The familiar blood ran across the blond's hands, and he gripped the handle firmly and pulled it forward, through quivering flesh. In brief seconds, the grizzled mobster was lying on the ground, pale, cold and unmoving. Minhyuk stood, trembling, trying to get over the waves of shock and adrenaline, like the time before. Unconsciously, he ran his hand through his hair, getting the part bloody and wet.

When he glanced up, Hyungwon was standing there in the moonlight, staring at him. "You again," He said in that lazy drawl, and knelt down to wave his hand over the dead man's face. Minhyuk couldn't help but notice the gray mist that swirled up as he did so.

He chuckled. "Of course it's me. Who else would you expect?"

"I take thousands of murdered souls every day, sir—"

"Minhyuk's the name. Lee Minhyuk." A strange, wide smile grew on the blond's face. "And if that's true, than you remember me. I'm flattered."

Hyungwon's eyes widened, mouth falling open. "Okay, right. Minhyuk. It's not a wonder I didn't forget. You can see me. Not everyone has that honor."

In the moment, a few questions rushed through Minhyuk's head: Why were he and Yujin able to see Hyungwon, after all? Perhaps death was simply as lonely a fate as it was said to be, and they had happened upon the reaper at the brief point in time when he was making his call. Still, as soon as the musings were there, they were gone again, replaced by a single, voiced thought. "You know, I'm going to keep killing until you see me how I see you."

Hyungwon's eyebrow perked, and he glanced up. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Until you realize how beautiful you look bent over a dead body." Honey-laced words slipped out before Minhyuk could stop them.

It was easy to miss the small smirk that formed on the reaper's face, but it certainly did not go unnoticed by the human. "Did you just confess to me?"

"Perhaps I did."

"Hm. I'll have to mark this down as one of the more interesting experiences I've had in my years on the job."

"It better be the last time someone says anything like that to you, too." Minhyuk growled. Suddenly overtaken by boldness, he stepped forward, over the corpse, to tug on Hyungwon's white collar. Maybe it was just his imagination, but the grim reaper bent over all too easily. Their lips met in a one-sided, rough kiss. When they pulled away, the shorter man's eyes were heavy with want. Almost, need. It pained him to see Hyungwon walk back into the shadows and vanish. Though Minhyuk's lust in the moment gave him more of a rush than killing, he also wanted to keep teasing, have the beautiful boy keep him at arm's length for a long time to come.

As Lee Minhyuk watched the blood wash down the drain that night, he stroked himself and violently came to fantasies of the ever-so-tantalizing, otherworldly heat of death's harbinger. Talk about a guilty pleasure.

So, Lee Minhyuk became a serial killer. As the number of times he killed rose, the line between the bliss of seeing his enemies' deaths and encountering death itself blurred together. He always got a kick and a rush out of how they always agreed to meet him alone, thinking that there was absolutely no way that Lee Minhyuk, the pansy, could hurt them. Then when the first metallic kiss of the knife reduced them to a babbling mess, their eyes opened wide. Right after that thrill, another always came. For a while, seeing the grim reaper was enough, though he remained distant, quiet, and passive. Thus it was that Minhyuk's life became one of thirst, for blood and the gaze of Chae Hyungwon.

At some point, people within the crime ring realized that there was someone picking them off, systematically getting rid of certain individuals. After the sixth man fell, Mr. Cha decided that enough was enough and they needed to catch this psycho son of a bitch, now. He might have also been aware that his own life was hanging in the balance, but under the guise of caring for his men, he decided to put one of his lackeys on the case. The appointed scapegoat would start probing around to see if anyone was helping this killer, and what he was being paid for taking out those on his hit list. Well, that lackey happened to be Shin "Wonho" Hoseok.

Just like many others, Hoseok was a good guy who had gotten tangled up in bad situations. Some of the victims had been, too, before their untimely demises. So understandably, he was scared. He came into this new position—a promotion, of sorts—knowing that it might put him on the list for elimination. He was grateful, however, and prepared. So, Wonho listened attentively to what his boss had to say. Mr. Cha passed a few documents over, mostly crime scene reports taken from the police files. All of these violent and systematic killings had been assumed to be syndicate-related, and so the paid officers on the force had kept hush-hush so far, out of the public news, not bothering to follow up on investigations.

The handsome, yet strong young man set straight to work, poring through the files. Then he started to stick his hands in the muck, calling his contacts one by one. Because of his sexy body and cute smile, he could get pretty much whatever he wanted, from anyone he set his sights on. Still, it didn't seem to matter, as all he found was fear like his own. So many people were scared that they'd be next, that somehow this twisted, knife-wielding figure would find them in the night and end their lives prematurely. Wonho couldn't find anyone willing to admit they were paying an assassin, and he doubted that anyone he talked to was lying about not knowing anything of that nature, so he quickly became stuck. And with time not on his side (another two men had been slain while he talked to everyone he could think of) something had to be done. He had no choice but to go to his last resort. It would be a long shot, he knew, and very risky, but if he was persistent, things might just pay off.

So, on a Tuesday afternoon, he strolled into a stone building downtown and made his way to the third floor, where a cozy lobby was tucked away. The petite brunette secretary frowned when she looked in her book and saw he hadn't called in advance.

"I'm very sorry, sir, but Mr. Son rarely sees clients without an appointment."

"That's okay," Hoseok said, cheerily. "Can't hurt to ask, huh?"

"He's busy right now," she seemed to be growing ever more flustered and annoyed at Hoseok's sunny smile. "You don't have much of a chance, sir--"

"I'm willing to wait." Promptly, Wonho went to one of the hard chairs in the lobby, set his folders on his lap, and started to glance out the window, knowing that looking at nothing would set her at unease.

Though the girl behind the desk still huffed at him for a while, his hard work paid off, eventually. It only took a half-hour, too. Muttering something like fine, she sighed and picked up the telephone at her side, holding down the receiver hook and waiting for a moment. Presently, there was a click, and a male voice floated through, faintly: "Yes, Miss Hani?"

"Mr. Son...I know that you usually don't take walk-ins, but there's a young man out here who won't leave. He's staring out the window, driving me crazy, and I swear his pout is something even the most hardened of men can't resist—"

"Alright, well if he's so insistent, send him in, then." (Wonho cheered inwardly, but he fought the smile that wanted to grow on his face.)

"Of course, sir." As the secretary set down the phone, her eyes drifted back up to Hoseok, who had stood to await directions. "Down the hall, on the left. It's pretty hard to miss his name on the window. Knock before you go in."

The mafia man gave her a deep bow and polite thanks, and made his way closer to the office he needed. He passed two doors before stopping in front of where Son Hyunwoo, Private Detective was carefully hand-painted on a frosted pane in gold letters. Despite his outwardly cool and collected countenance, the files couldn't seem to stop shifting in his hand, and he was sweating underneath his collar. If he was caught associating with anyone but his brothers, he would be killed for sure, and not by the serial murderer. The only thing Hoseok felt could help him now, though, was a fresh, experienced pair of eyes, and he had come to some of the best ones in the world. South Korea's resident sleuth, Son Hyunwoo wasn't just a household name in his own country; the man was famous internationally. He had an uncanny ability to crack the toughest cases, even some that were decades cold. No wonder he had been so hard to find and see, people off the street must often demand his services.

Hoseok raised his fist, knocked firmly three times, and was greeted by a flat "come in". He didn't need a second prompting, turning the burnished brass knob and slipping into the room. Usually, he wasn't one to be shy, but all of a sudden Wonho was aware of a pair of eyes on him, and the weight this meeting carried. He could barely look at the investigator's desk, let alone the man himself, as he turned toward it and bowed. "Son Hyunwoo? I'm Wonho. I'm sorry to bother you, if you're busy right now. Thank you for seeing me on such short notice."

A warm and rich (though slightly robotic) voice hit the mobster's ear and melted there. "It's fine, and you're welcome. Please, no need to be so formal. Take a seat, would you?" Immediately, Hoseok scrambled to do as he was told, settling down in a hard wooden chair again before gathering the courage to glance up. When he finally was able, he couldn't stop a gasp from slipping his lips, and his eyes widened. The detective was--handsome. He had dark hair and broad, muscular shoulders that reminded Wonho of his own. They were filling out an almost-too-small white button up shirt and suspenders. His lips were parted a little, head popped up from a pile of paperwork. Thick glasses framed his eyes, and his pen tapped gently on the desk. This was him? The world-famous sleuth and warrior for justice? It had to be, Hoseok thought. He had the same voice as on the phone, and the name was on the door and also a desk placard, so there was no room for doubt.

"Something wrong? What is it?" The detective asked after a long moment of silence.

Shaking his head side to side to clear the jumble of thoughts, Hoseok chuckled. "Sorry. I just--wasn't expecting someone so young."

And hot.

"Well, what did you think you'd see?"

"Ah--I really can't say. Someone graying I think, the picture of a grizzled veteran. Or, maybe tall and skinny, like Sherlock Holmes. How old are you, anyway?"

"Twenty-four," Hyunwoo replied. "Yeah...many people are thrown the first time they meet me."

"I mean, it's not that you don't look like a P.I, and a damn good one at that too. It's just that your reputation precedes you...makes you seem older, more experienced, ya know?"

"I know." Something akin to sadness flitted across the detective's face, but then he squared himself and gave a curt nod. "But I promise that I'm every bit as good as what they say in the papers."

"Oh, I don't doubt that." Probably good in bed, too, Hoseok thought fleetingly, but shoved it down. Now the two men wore matching smirks. "Well, um, that said...let's get to the point, huh?"

Hyunwoo leaned back and gestured for Hoseok to continue. The mob man swallowed. "Before I ask...I need to make it clear that if you choose to help me, you might be making enemies with the law. You'll be saving lives, but depending on where you stand, whether those lives are worth saving is...questionable." Turning and rummaging around in the pocket of his coat, he produced three one hundred dollar bills and laid them on the desk. "Here's some money for your trouble, don't worry, it's mine. Take it as a little promise, and payment of a walk-in fee...though I doubt you have one in the first place."

Something glinted deep behind Hyunwoo's pupils. Though anyone would have expected it to be about the cash, Hoseok realized with a jolt that wasn't the case. The detective seemed to be more interested in the hand that paid it, and his eyes narrowed, searching Hoseok's face. "Okay...I'm intrigued. Go on."

"I don't mean to dance around anything with you, and that said, I think you should first know that I work for Mr. Cha Jaemin."

"As in, rules the city and the black market...Kingpin of crime, most wanted on every list, Cha Jaemin?" Hyunwoo seemed incredulous.

"The one and only." Anyone even close to the police and crime in this city knew the big boss's name. Just speaking it had a way of instilling fear into people. "But this is not for him. This is for the boys...my brothers, if you know what I mean. See, there's been someone picking us off, and we're not quite sure who. He's murdered eight of us in the last three weeks." Hoseok leaned back and flipped open the file on top of his pile, turning it toward the investigator.

Hyunwoo took it, and scanned the document briefly. "Police reports...where'd you get these?"

"Mr. Cha has his ways." Hoseok, himself, wasn't sure how. Perhaps a dirty cop or inside man snuck them out for him. "Some of the men being killed are close to the Boss, and have at one point or another been his close friends. But the reason I'm here, talking to you, is..." Pulling out another file, Hoseok opened it and placed it on top of the other. "This is Moon Jongup...or was Moon Jongup, a buddy of mine before the Mafia killer ended his life. He was a good guy...just a runner, pulled into crime against his will. He had a wife and unborn child, who now are without a husband and father. There are a lot of us who are scared, Mr. Son, because we're in the same boat. We have families and dreams just like any other person, and we're afraid we're going to be next."

The detective paused, staring at the photograph of Jongup's bloody body. It was a long minute before he spoke again. "What about you, Wonho?" His voice rumbled quietly. Hoseok swallowed when Hyunwoo's gaze met his again. "Why are you here, asking me for help?"

"I'm the one being paid to work the case, but not in this way. Mr. Cha is convinced that this is a paid hitman and sent me to talk to people, but I've probed my entire web and still nothing. I've run out of viable options. Besides, I have people I want to protect, too."

"So, then I take it that Wonho isn't your real name."

It meant protector. Hoseok had started calling himself that, and it stuck with everyone. He could have, should have, denied it. It wouldn't have been a stretch to smile wistfully and pass it off as coincidence. For some reason, however, he already trusted Hyunwoo. "Yeah, no, it's not." The mobster sighed and dropped his gaze. "My given is Hoseok--Shin Hoseok."

"That one fits you, too." The mobster dared to glance up, and had to stop and get his heart beating again. Hyunwoo was smiling, showing white teeth and crescent moon eyes with wrinkles on the outsides. Damn that cute expression. Maybe Hoseok shouldn't have trusted the detective with his knowledge, because all of a sudden blush was rising to his cheeks.

The moment was fleeting, and sorely missed as Hyunwoo's expression set, determination flashing behind his eyes. "Alright. I shall help you, no matter the consequences to my practice or reputation. If there is one man like you we can save...It will be worth everything." The detective offered his hand, and Hoseok met it with a firm grip. Happiness danced on the younger man's face. Tears were gathering in the corners, tears of relief, that was. Maybe together, they'd be able to take down this killer. They traded files, and Hyunwoo took the others and started combing. "So...what makes you so certain that this is one man doing all these by himself?"

"I don't know. There's not really any concrete proof, other than the patterns are similar and the victims' connections. Most of us--who kill, or have killed at one point or another, do it in much the same way. So yes, it could be a couple or few separate individuals. I just have a feeling about it being one person, someone no one would suspect, and that's why he's been so successful thus far."

"Fair enough. You know, looking at all these pictures side by side..." Hyunwoo pulled a couple and laid them out in front of him. "The placement of the knife wound, dominant hand, and position of the bodies all point to a single murderer as well. A...serial killer, at the stage this is at."

"God...just as I'd feared. We have a lunatic on our hands."

"It seems so."

He wouldn't admit it to himself, but for Minhyuk, it boiled down to the fact that he was getting pretty desperate. Every kill, and every day that passed, only brought him closer to his goals, but at times it didn't seem to be enough. He tried everything he could think of, no matter how inane or complicated, but still the object of his affection was transient and out of reach. Hyungwon didn't return his love, though he did seem to be opening up. It gave the blond hope, but he needed more time, precious hours, days that he might not have. The list of the original nine left alive was always shortening. Plus, he could feel himself growing in favor with Mr. Cha. The Boss often asked for Minhyuk to come into his office, only to tell him something inconsequential and send him away again, or "have him around" (the younger man heard from others what this would lead to, and strangely, he wasn't fazed). The killer inside of him starting to unintentionally look for other motives. One he found was a dogfighting ring using family pets stolen out of yards. Those who showed up to watch often bet which canine would die first. All those poor slain dogs made Minhyuk's soft side hurt and anger flare, and soon the illegal matches had to stop because spectators and organizers were too afraid.

Then things got out of hand—the body count expanded to fifteen. It was getting harder, as well, to lure victims out in the open. People started to notice that the mafia killer had a pattern. Men who usually were unafraid of anything now ducked for cover, and paled at the mention of the string of murders. Confusion reigned, above all, regarding the identity of the killer, and people scrambled to make accusations, all false ones. Minhyuk found himself almost drunk on this feeling of power, no matter how anonymous it was. He now enjoyed the feeling of blood on his hands, thick and warm, almost hot. Also, the sight of red mixed with clear water, swirling down the shower drain, became a constant he depended on.

Hyungwon, of course, wasn't aware of all of this, or the human's vendetta. He had his job, and that was it. Time to linger was not afforded him. Still, the grim reaper was all too conscious of the obsession. After that second meeting, and Minhyuk's kiss, the taller boy tried to keep himself detached and cold, hoping it would go away. That quickly became a flimsy wish. Time and again he was sent to collect another slain soul, and as soon as he arrived on the scene, knew who had done it. The blond's pattern was all too clear, and he would always be waiting. It was getting harder to ignore the urgency in the human's fleeting touches. He often grabbed Hyungwon's hand and begged him to stay, if only for one more minute. The puppy-like eyes and little pout was hard to resist, so perhaps it shouldn't have been a surprise when it happened for the first time, and Hyungwon found himself acquiescing. A heart still existed in his chest, after all, even if it wasn't beating. Rolling his eyes, he pulled Minhyuk into a hug, though it wasn't warm--literally. (The reaper was practically undead, so he didn't have body heat.) Minhyuk didn't seem to mind though, nuzzling into the taller's neck and squeezing him affectionately in return. That seemed to placate him until their next meeting, when again the shorter asked to be held, and again Hyungwon gave in.

The tall grim reaper hadn't always been this way. Once upon a time, he had been a twisted double agent. Though he started out working just for his own country, with time, greed became his vice. No one could resist the handsome soldier's charms and good looks. Soon he was playing every side he could for money and power. Minhyuk was a murderer, but Hyungwon had been so much more. One of the curses of him "living" to walk the earth and collect souls was that he could remember and name off every one of his kills, conquests, and underhanded activities, even two hundred years after he had committed them. On that last day, he walked into his bed-chamber at night, shut the door behind him, and was met with the point of a knife digging into the nape of his neck. He didn't need to know which one of his enemies was there lying in wait, because it really didn't matter. He challenged the person in the darkness to just get it over with already, and they had. (It was a woman, whose husband Hyungwon had fucked and killed a few weeks before.)

He expected to go to hell, but didn't imagine it to be full of ashen-pale, tangible people, beings that could almost be alive. At his curious gaze, they steered him away from the lines of other straggling souls and brought him to a lavishly-furnished room. These were the quarters of the shining deity, Lucifer. That day he had learned that he could see death, so he was to become death, himself. Some people earned it, like in his case, with all the wrong they'd done in their brief Earthly stay, and others just never lost the ability to look upon the face of a reaper after growing out of childhood. Hyungwon would still have a body, and a memory, but his emotions and free will would be stripped completely. Or, so Satan told him. Now, though, as the reaper carried out orders, cursed to do the same wretched thing for the rest of eternity, something was different. He wasn't supposed to be feeling anything, and yet he was. Was he truly changing, or...maybe, was Minhyuk changing him?

Because despite the reaper's determination not to get too close, somewhere along the way, the man who murdered to see death was causing a stir in his chest. Sometimes Hyungwon could swear that blood coursed languidly through his veins once more when he emerged on crime scenes that were so clearly the blond's. It had been a long time since the reaper had been needed like this, but that wasn't quite convinced that this was the sole reason why Lee Minhyuk succeeded in breaking him down. The shorter boy was not the kind of person Hyungwon would have liked to see in life, but death had changed him, and he came to appreciate the kinder things in the world. Certainly, one of them was how cute Minhyuk's smile was, another the change in his countenance when he saw the grim reaper, and yet another his uneven blink. Then there was the aesthetic side. Hyungwon came to look forward to stepping out of the mist, into the night, and seeing how the moonlight fell on the soft features of Minhyuk's face. Even the blood that often dripped from his hands was sexy, and how the other always got his hair red and wet from running his fingers through it. Before long, Hyungwon realized that he was majorly screwed. Because despite how he knew it was so wrong to love the human, he couldn't help the fact that he had taken over his entire existence. It was only a matter of time until he would crack.

One fine, breezy night, Hyungwon emerged upon a familiar scene. A body was laying on the ground, knife embedded in that well-placed spot on the neck, as like so many times before. There was one crucial thing missing, though: the murderer. Hyungwon about panicked and was going to look around, but then a pair of arms wrapped around his waist. A body pressed into his back, and lips, hot and full, moved against his shoulder. "Hello, sexy boy," Minhyuk murmured into the wool of the reaper's long trench coat.

So many times, Hyungwon had considered returning the murderer's affection, allowing himself to fall in love. But he could never bring himself to. There was too big of a rift between them, and it made things even more painful when they were close like this. Sighing, the taller tried to hold out. "You know there's no way we could possibly be together—"

"Fuck that." The hug became a vice grip, and the grim reaper jumped. He had never heard Minhyuk angry before. "We're together now. What if we could, even it's just for seconds at a time? Do you want me like I want you?"

Damn, the guy could be so needy sometimes. Hyungwon rolled his eyes and turned around in the shorter's arms. Then, half-closing his eyes, he leaned down and caught those red lips with his own. At first, Minhyuk didn't respond, but presently, perhaps out of instinct, he reciprocated the kiss, moving slowly against the reaper's mouth.

"...oh," Minhyuk gasped when they broke. The taller boy smiled slyly, reveling in the fact that he had caught the other so off-guard he didn't know what to say. Hyungwon knew that the murderer had probably dreamed of that moment.

"Now." The reaper wriggled his way out of the embrace. "I have a job to do, so if you'll excuse me..."

A soft whine slipped involuntarily out of Minhyuk's mouth, and he scrabbled forward to wrap Hyungwon in a hug again. "No, Wonnie, one more minute...one more kiss? Pleeease?"

Nights where Minhyuk was clingy like this were the grim reaper's bane and joy, all at the same time, it seemed. He clicked his tongue and shook his head at the blond. "Alright. Just let me go for a minute. There's a soul that kinda needs to be taken care of, or else you'll have a ghost on your ass for the rest of your life."

Hyungwon felt the grip on him hesitantly loosen, and he went to where the newest victim lay face-up on the dirt. As usual he waved a hand over the dead guy's face, and the grim reaper felt the spirit join his own, disappearing into him. Then he returned to Minhyuk's embrace.

"Does this mean...that you'd say yes to being mine?" The puppy eyes were on, and like always they could make the most hardened heart soft. "I know you told me there was no way we could be together, but if I asked you to reconsider, would you?"

The serial killer's tone was pleading, almost desperate, and it took Hyungwon aback. He had to pause and consider it. If this was anyone else, he'd probably laugh and insist on no. "I--I still am having trouble hoping. But I do want you."

Minhyuk reached up to kiss him. "All I need is these small moments. Even if I'm a fool to depend on them."

"But what about when we can't see each other anymore?"

"When I know that, will be the moment I can't go on living. I'll give myself a taste of my own medicine, turn my knife on myself..."

"No, no, don't say any more, you'll be lost to me forever," Hyungwon silenced his boyfriend with a thumb to the lips. "Yeah...just--enjoy the time you have. I'll think of something, ok?"

And so Hyungwon and Minhyuk started to work out the problems that came with being from two completely realms--the dead and the living--and how romance worked then. It was a lot of standing together, the human half-snuggled under Hyungwon's trenchcoat, breathing in his scent. The reaper's noodle arms held everything together, and kisses were frequent. Minhyuk didn't mind the lack of heat in his boyfriend's embrace, because the passion was there in place. If he wasn't in love before, he was now.

The grim reaper was at a loss. He pondered every possible way they could be together, but there was nothing. A couple times he prayed for something to be shown to him. Not like anyone would hear, even Lucifer. He was just at his wit's end.

Minhyuk didn't expect the day to come as soon as it did. He knew the times he saw Mr. Cha staring at him were getting more frequent, and the time spent close to him hit stretches of three hours straight or more. Still, one night, when the Boss sent for him at nine-thirty pm, a strange time and not at all like usual, something felt different. Perhaps, more final.

The kingpin always demanded that his men arrive within twenty minutes of the summons. Consequences were harsh if one did not comply, so Minhyuk made extra sure he wasn't wasting even a second. The man standing watch brought him upstairs, to a familiar wooden door. The blond had to draw in a long, slow breath of air before pushing it open. To say he was nervous was a huge understatement. If this was the night he was going to murder Mr. Cha, he better make sure it happened, because he only had one chance. If the boss was any less than shocked and surprised, Minhyuk probably wouldn't live to see the next day.

Almost immediately, an imposing figure came into view, behind a fortress of a wooden desk. The room was dark, except for the moonlight through two picture windows, on either side of the large oak construction. A single lamp also shined. All caution and concern rose to the forefront of Minhyuk's mind, and suddenly his feet wanted to run. Despite his intentions, far away from here was the best place to be now. Still, with a mental effort, he made himself stay still, and then bend at the waist toward his employer.

It might be strange for some to imagine someone like Cha Jaemin to be reading a book about legitimate business, and yet he was. Setting it down and taking off his bifocals, the boss crooked a finger in the blond's direction. "Ah, Minhyuk. Come here." The young man obeyed, dipping his head respectfully as he approached the big hunk of oak. Mr. Cha's gaze, tinged with something that sent a sweep of distaste and anxiety through the younger man, swept him appraisingly. Obviously, there was more than mild curiosity in it. Something glimmered behind the kingpin's eyes. The only little comfort he had was a letter opener on the desk, gleaming and calling his name as it sat by a stack of mail.

"You remind me so much of your mother," he said at last, pushing himself up from the chair to walk around toward Minhyuk's side. The killer was all too aware that he was being caged in against the oak desk. He turned so that he could face his boss head-on.

"You have her cheekbones, complexion...lips..."

By this point, the two of them were pretty much pressed together; Minhyuk leaned back as far as he could, but it was still no use. The older man reached over to swipe one rough thumb across Minhyuk's jaw, before the latter found himself pulled into an unwanted kiss. Of course, this wasn't completely unexpected, but that didn't make it any less repulsive. At least, hopefully, his momentary tense state made things a little more believable. The young man struggled within himself for a moment before allowing himself to melt into the kiss, eyelids drooping closed. If he pretended that the rough nibbling on his bottom lip was Hyungwon, and not his boss, it made things slightly better.

A slap on the ass elicited a gasp from the younger, and he popped his eyes open to see lust in Mr. Cha's dark irises. "You taste like her, too...absolutely perfect."

Their lips reconnected, and a pair of greedy hands pressed their bodies together. The creepy crawlies in Minhyuk's belly only intensified as he felt something stiff poke his thigh. It was in that moment that reality caught up, and it took all he had to not throw up in the jackass's face. This is actually happening...we're about to--

Mr. Cha pushed him back onto the desk. After a solid thirty seconds of fumbling with the younger's belt and pants button, he was able to slip one hand underneath the fabric. The other worked up Minhyuk's dress shirt, undoing the buttons and exposing milky pale chest. The blond did not want his cock stroked, but allowed it. In addition to letting his mind blank, he did everything in his power to keep from moaning and groaning, biting the inside of his lip. Still, how his body showed pleasure was a more automatic thing, so nevertheless he was hardening under his not-father's hand. Minhyuk scrabbled for a grip and stability and tried to claw at the other's chest too. Instead of acting as a signal to back off, as intended, though, it only seemed to make the older man more greedy and impatient. Of course, this was Cha Jaemin, who always got what he wanted and never took no as an answer. Though the mob boss didn't realize it, the younger's desperate gestures, that practically screamed get off me and you sick fuck, were a last chance to save himself.

But, again, much to both Minhyuk's horror and pleasure, he went completely ignored. Mr. Cha was all in. Now, there was only the need for the perfect moment.

"Fuck, do you know how beautiful you are? I guess I should have known, though, you are my legacy, after all." This affirmation, punctuated by ugly, heavy breathing, was followed by a smirk that managed to be lewd and sly and evil all at the same time. "On the desk for me, pretty boy."

The blond obeyed, though every fiber of him screamed not to. They were moving like a freight train, and honestly, if Mr. Cha's life wasn't hanging in the balance, the younger would be jumping out the window right that moment. Rough hands gripped Minhyuk's waist, pulling him ever closer to the edge. The blond didn't need to look down to know that his boss's hard cock was prominent through his slacks. Minhyuk's was straining his own fabrics, too. When his pants and underwear came down and off his legs, the cold air that hit it brought some semblance of much-needed relief. Then the crime boss was unzipping his own fly, and again the younger man couldn't look. He didn't even want to think about it.

Minhyuk was finally able to get the letter opener in a position ideal for the task at hand. Luckily, Mr. Cha was so engrossed in his sick pleasure that he didn't notice. "God, look at your ass...why didn't I make it mine before?" A rough finger, coated in oil, filled him up, and at that point it was impossible to imagine it was Hyungwon anymore.

The digits were a countdown: One, and then a few seconds later, two. The blond's killer instinct shoved down his instinctive pleasure reactions, and left him staring intently, anticipation and adrenaline building.

Three.

The sharp silver blade glinted in the moonlight of the office, and like twenty-one times before, it hit its mark. The force was more brutal, too, since Minhyuk was, physically, very close to the victim. For the first time that evening, a grin grew across his face as Mr. Cha immediately went flaccid, and pulled his fingers out of the younger man.

Normally, at this point Minhyuk would break the 'numb' that came with being stabbed by jigging the knife around in the wound, but he had some things that the boss needed to hear. "That's for my mom," he growled. "Like the other eight were for her, too."

"Y--you," Mr. Cha was finally able to croak, and giving a grunt, the younger boy ripped the letter opener back out of him. "You--'re the,"

He didn't finish, because this time Minhyuk found a second point: slightly left of middle, in the older man's chest. Cha Jaemin choked and spit up blood.

"Yeah, yeah, it's been me this whole time...didn't think I'd do anything, huh? That I would never be a threat? You could just gloat that you created me with that dick of yours, use me like an animal, and then move on with your life? Like you have with so many others? No, I've taken things into my own hands. I'm sick of living under your thumb." Now was the chance to cause him pain. The younger boy clamped a hand around the crime boss's throat, preventing him from making much more than a croak while Minhyuk twisted that motherfucking letter opener with everything he had. He stopped only when he knew the guy was at his pain threshold. "You'll never be my father. My surname's Lee. Go to hell and suck on that cock of a fact."

In addition from not being able to breathe because of Minhyuk's strangely strong hand crushing his windpipe, Mr. Cha was already bleeding from the neck, and struggling with a pierced lung. His terrified expression cemented in time when he choked on blood one last time and the last breath left his body.

That was it, the younger man realized in the moment. The deed was done.

Once again, Minhyuk found his hands covered in blood. He didn't mind, though. Shoving Mr. Cha's body off of him, he let it hit the floor with a thud, and the younger boy shakily got up. Turning, he grabbed a pen from the desktop, and a piece of paper, letting his thoughts and reasons flow out onto the page. He wasn't quite sure why he did, it just was something he needed in the moment. The note was finished quickly, since he had been planning what it would say for as long as he could remember.

Then, afterwards, he summoned up everything he had and headed for a couch by the window on the other side of the room. The momentary burst of strength waned quickly, however, and finally exhaustion crashed in. The mental strain of everything was too much, and he collapsed on the soft cushions, running a hand through his hair, head lolling back. His naked chest heaved up and down, rising and falling in broken time with his panting. The lingering adrenaline, and how he was still painfully hard and exposed to the world, made his face flush red. There was also the feeling of being prepped but un-penetrated, the wet of the oil nearly driving him crazy. Thought after thought after thought sped across his conscience, coming and going before finally he blanked out completely.

One more time, he opened his eyes and glanced over to where Mr. Cha Jaemin laid on the floor, cold and dead. Then he let his weighted lids fall. Everything was over, thank God. The last thing he wanted in life was done and squared away. He had revenge for his mother and father, revenge for himself.

The blond sat there for what seemed like an eternity (much the same as the first time he had killed). Then, there was a sound: the office door opening. Light, familiar footsteps only barely disturbed the calm atmosphere that had settled over everything. Minhyuk thought he heard a second of hesitancy, and a quick, stunned breath. It could have been the ghost of a reaction, though, because in moments clothes rustled as Hyungwon knelt over the mob boss's body. Minhyuk, in his mind's eye, could see that slender hand waving over the dead face, gray mist disappearing into his palm, and suddenly, he was turned on again. Moaning a little, he bucked unconsciously into the air. Never had he wanted a touch more, for someone's fingers around his cock. It made him want to jerk himself off, but something held him back.

More soft footfalls echoed through the silence, coming closer. Fabric chafed again, and something heavy and woolen was laid over the couch; a coat. Slightly warm lips brushed the blond's. Then, so gently that the human might have called it a dream, his undead boyfriend's hand wrapped around his member and started to pump. Minhyuk felt a jolt of pleasure course through him, and dragged his eyes open to the heavenly sight of Hyungwon straddling him, pupils blown and lips trembling with desire.

"Fuck," the grim reaper muttered. "You weren't kidding when you said you'd do anything."

Minhyuk was barely able to smile and shake his head. He had told his boyfriend about the vendetta during the nights they stood close, huddled together over a murder victim. "No..." He felt like he could burn up at any moment, and Hyungwon's grazing touches weren't enough. "Shit, Wonnie, don't tease...I need you..."

The grip on his dick tightened, and lips drifted down the blond's neck, sucking at a bruise Mr. Cha had made. Still, death's voice was snappish and concerned, though it didn't lose its lazy tendency. "You knew this would happen, hmm?" Minhyuk nodded. "Why didn't you mention it? I could have done something. You belong to me."

An unwanted, disbelieving chuckle slipped out of the murderer's mouth. "Can't fool me, Wonnie. You might be here for souls, but you're not the killer of the two of us. That's why I've gotta do it."

"Not quite true." Hyungwon dusted kisses along Minhyuk's jaw, and the latter could feel the smirk on his face. "It's painful in the extreme for the other person, but I can steal a soul prematurely. Once the soul is gone, the body cannot function."

"That's the cruelest thing I've-ah--ever heard."

"Yeah, it's pretty messed-up."

"I would ask if you'd do it to me, but--"

"Shh, shh." Hyungwon went to silence him with his own lips. "Let's not talk about that now. Just relax. God, I really wish I could fuck you into the couch so hard your soul wouldn't be able to walk tomorrow."

"Me, too, but...your hand is almost as good, baby." Minhyuk gave a shudder and gasp when the reaper swiped his thumb over his slit, and immediately afterwards dived into a more passionate kiss. "I wanna touch you, too," he whined, gently dragging his hand over the front of Hyungwon's pants.

"Then touch me."

The blond's fingers were shaky, but he managed to undo the button and slide underneath the layers. It might have been his imagination, but was the vein on the underside of his boyfriend's length throbbing a little?

Hyungwon slowed his strokes on Minhyuk as the pleasure started to register. Having someone touch him like this was better than he remembered--or maybe it was just because this was Lee Minhyuk, the serial killer who could see death, and consequently fell in love with death--and death had fallen in love with him, too.

Something occurred to the tall boy in that moment, something he hadn't thought about until now. "Minhyukkie? What if I told you that--that we could be together forever?"

It was hard to breathe, let alone speak, when they were constantly wasting air in heaving pants. Minhyuk was drawing closer to his end, and Hyungwon felt--stiff--

"You're hard," The former murmured in awe, and the grim reaper's eyes widened.

"What?

"You're literally, erect." Minhyuk said, breath ragged. His cock twitched under his boyfriend's hand. Simultaneously, Hyungwon's did, too, and that was when the taller realized that it was true. He even had precome starting to bead on the tip. I'm dead, I shouldn't be able to-- permeated his mind for a split second, before Minhyuk grabbed his chin, gazed into his glazed eyes, and pleaded, earnestly:

"Wonnie, please, please fuck me."

Who would Hyungwon be if he didn't heed that request? Soon his own clothes were draped over his coat, and he was positioned between Minhyuk's spread legs. The blond was spine-down, laying on the couch, waiting with breathing uneven and so much lust in his eyes. Hyungwon pressed the head of his cock into the already-lubed and prepped ring of muscle, and pushed himself firmly in, coaxing a moan from the human. "Sh--shit. Your ass is to die for, all over again."

The reaper started slow, picking up pace as Minhyuk asked for more. Their moans filled the silence, broken curses and phrases of adoration, until unexplainably, Hyungwon's train of thought from earlier returned. "W--what if I told you that we could be together forever?" Too wound up to reply properly, the blond just listened, knowing he'd probably go on, and he did. "I didn't realize until now, but you can see me...the only ones who are able are children, and...those destined to become re--reapers themselves."

"So you're saying--when I die--"

"You'll be the same as me, and we won't be separated by the burning chasm." Hyungwon dove in for another kiss, and his hand slipped to Minhyuk's cock, slipping up and down it at a critical pace. The human tightened his grip around his boyfriend's neck and moaned loudly as he finally came, spilling across his own belly.

Minhyuk's orgasm sent the reaper over the edge, too, and his cum filled his boyfriend's ass. For a moment, death felt that he was in heaven.

"Together forever," came a shaky voice underneath him. "What are we waiting for?"

☛ E   P   I   L   O   G   U   E

"So...this is it, huh?"

"I-I think so." Hoseok stuttered in reply, picking up a piece of paper from the desk, white sanitary gloves gently touching the corners. "This note seems to be the end-all...he even admits to having murdered twenty-one people for revenge, and love. I have no clue what that means though, or what the context is?"

"Yeah, Damn...we'll probably never know for sure." Hyunwoo whistled and glanced at the scene in front of him. After so much sleuthing together, time in the lab, and finding a bloody handprint on the wall of the alley where the first two murders had taken place, the two of them had finally felt comfortable enough to come to the Boss and present their findings. However, it wasn't to be, because instead, they had opened the door on a fresh, brutal scene. Two men had met their end, one was Mr. Cha and by familiar knife wound, and the other, their prime suspect, Lee Minhyuk, apparently of natural causes. They were both naked from the waist down, the former facedown on the floor. The detective had seen some pretty strange things in his lifetime, but this was at another level.

"Oh my God." Wonho sucked in a breath, and Hyunwoo snapped his head around just in time to watch his eyes widen. "Fucking-listen to this:

'Mr. Cha Jaemin will never hurt anyone again. I am glad. Such scum does not deserve to walk the Earth, let alone hold power over people. He claims me as his son, and I might very well be, as he violated my mother and I was born nine months afterwards. I found myself at his mercy again tonight, and though my current state might be conflicting, I would never allow the same thing that made me, in me...'

"um,

'good thing I have my sweet love Death to help me through. He should be here any minute, and everything will be alright.'

"This is crazy. I mean it's always been obvious that the Boss was off the deep end. But Minhyuk, I did not expect this at all..." the younger man swallowed, pink tinting his cheeks. "I guess I should have told you this before, but I knew him...just a little. Mutual acquaintances-you know."

"That's okay. You didn't need to say anything. It wasn't important to the case. Actually, I'm proud of you for not letting yourself drag emotion in. We had conclusive physical evidence that he was the murderer, and now it's all confirmed."

"Yeah...I guess. He was actually a pretty nice guy, family had been in the Mafia for years, so when he tried to disassociate himself he got sucked right back in again. His smile could light up a room. Cared for his friends, too...Yujin called him Uncle Min'ook."

"Jooheon and Changkyun's daughter?"

"Right." Glancing over at Minhyuk's body (now partway covered by a white sheet), Hoseok sighed and frowned. "Well, I'm not going to question it. What's over is over. I really don't think there's much more to solve, here...our lives go on as normal."

There was something final and sad in his words, an undertone that Hyunwoo understood. In that moment, he knew he needed to do something. The older, taller boy's eyebrows knitted together, and in seconds he had crossed the room, enveloping Wonho in a backhug. "Hoseok...I thought that my actions were clear, but maybe not. Just because the case is over...I don't want this--" he gestured between the two of them, "to end. I'm not letting you walk away, like nothing. I've really come to depend on you, and...I think...I might be, falling in love with you." Hyunwoo bit his tongue, knowing he'd taken a risk, and this could go either way.

Wonho tipped his head back to rest on the detective's strong shoulder, and their fingers laced together. "Yeah, me neither," he confessed quietly. "I wanna keep seeing you...being with you."

"Then be my boyfriend," Hyunwoo begged. "There's nothing I'd love more."

A wide, white smile spread across the mobster's face. "Of course. Gladly." Wonho turned around and pulled the detective down to him for a shy kiss. When they broke, the younger melted at the little crinkly eyesmile he was met with.

But then Hyunwoo's face fell. He sucked in a big breath and murmured, "Oh."

"Hm? What's wrong?"

"Your boss is dead. So, doesn't that technically make you unemployed?"

"Well-yeah." Hoseok lifted an eyebrow in confusion. "But that's not a big deal, I can just find another job now."

"You don't have to, if you come work with me. You can be my personal assistant, like John Watson to Sherlock Holmes--and we can fuck on lab tables whenever you want--"

"Shut up, you're so cheesy, hyung." Their lips met again, and the younger chuckled, blushing a little. It had happened a few times while they were working in there alone, late at night, and Hoseok would easily admit that it was some of the most spectacular sex he'd ever had. "As long as you wear that sinful white coat. Without a shirt on underneath? God, I'm getting hard just thinking about that."

"I think that can be arranged.”