#my brain is full of garbage
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thedreadpoetroberts · 1 year ago
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You can be really smart and still have a learning disability.
You can be really smart and still have a learning disability.
You can be really smart and still have a learning disability.
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queenofbaws · 1 year ago
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there are already roughly a million posts like this already circulating, but man. just. sometimes you really do have to step away from something you're working on and come back to it later.
creative buds, please. please. no one is worse at taking my advice than i am, believe me, but seriously, if you've been feeling down or frustrated or stumped with something you've been working on lately, take this as your sign to maybe take a little break. a week, a month, whatever. you've been looking at it too long, you've read it too many times, you've erased that same line so many times you've lost count - you need to come back to it with a rested brain and fresh eyes.
however rough it feels to you now, i promise, promise, promise that it'll feel so much better after a little distance. <3
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bitchapalooza · 4 months ago
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Is it weird I'm excited about the idea of wheeling a trash can to the front of the house and a garbage truck picking it up? All the little things about living in a house I didn't know I missed until I began fantasizing about it more....
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livingdeaddoctor · 3 months ago
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would that knowing the thoughts were irrational would Make Them Go Away!!!!
#medic's log#because i value some degree of privacy tumblr will not receive the full context#but i had a friend cancel plans i was really looking forward to#for reasons that are extremely very fair and honestly it's for the best that she Did#since i think going through with them would have put undue stress on her mental health. if not also Mine#but goddamn if it's not making me feel like absolute garbage#there's only so many ways (one. maybe two) that she can say 'i promise it's not personal' before i become the problem. el em ay oh.#and like. i Know this is me. i know this is the horrific confluence of too little sleep#and forgot to take my meds for two days#and the flavor of mental illness that makes any kind of rejection a Stab To The Heart#and the inability to handle plans changing#but also. that does not stop The Catastrophizing#the ability to reschedule these particular plans is. potentially nonexistent and i'm in my feelings about it#i know this literally isn't the case but by god does it feel like i'm being passed up as a second choice for someone more preferable#both friends involved in this have told me Multiple Times they value me in their lives and yet the little voice goes#'ohohoho you fool they are just saying that to be Polite'#never mind that both of them are so well known (in general and by me specifically) for laying down very specific boundaries without shame#so if they didn't want me around they'd fucking tell me#but also i super do not know how to broach with both of them 'hi this is a thing i'd like to do at some point' without sounding#so fucking Needy.#idk. shit sucks.#shit could suck infinitely worse but that doesn't stop the rock in my house Being There Loudly#i think i need to sleep and then SING LOUDSTYLE in the car for a bit#and then text both of them and reestablish a line of communication outside of The Plans#to make my brain go 'hey fuckwad i promise these two people actually like you'#at this point i'm basically normal but i'm trying to parse all the feelings so they don't hit a boiling point. Later.#it's whatever. i'm drinking a ginger beer and scrolling. shit could be worser#godspeed tumblr thank you for listening to my woes.#also probably a good sign that i haven't made one of these types of posts on this blog in. awhile#less good sign that i'm making one now but. you know lmao
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taintedcigs · 2 years ago
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recently realized its taking a toll on me to constantly feel like i don’t post enough writings or none of them are good enough😭 which i can’t do anything about bc im still struggling at work and its draining up all of my energy :( like i used to feel excited to come home and write something but now it feels like a chore i have to keep up with which i already do not have time for >:( idk how to get over this feeling and its been eating away at me omg
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foxybouquet · 11 months ago
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I get so worried about depicting nudity in the artwork that I post on Tumblr, and I just saw an art piece depicting a beautiful and realistic vulva on here.
I’d love to read any thoughts, chat.
Also am having the worst Monday, mentally. My fight-or-flight is so bad right now I’m sitting in my car, already late for work and crying my eyes out.
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gu6chan · 1 year ago
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99% just my autism speaking here but something ive been noticing lately that im sorta kinda 😶 about is when ppl are like "I think you'll like this" but not bc they ACTUALLY think you'll like it, rather they just got into it and want you to also get into it so "I think you'll like this" is a nice personal hook. i love chill stuff as much as any other person ofc but given i don't divulge that EVER, what makes you think my berserk reading, made in abyss watching, drakengard playing ass would like YURU CAMP????
#gu6chan's musings#am i just taking the phrase too literally???? like i appreciate the thought but also.... what agitates me is the fact theres not any#when i say something among the lines of 'i think YOU'LL like this' or 'This made me think of you' like#its bc i think of THAT PERSON IN PARTICULAR or think THAT PERSON IN PARTICULAR would like it#again it's probably just autism brain taking figures of speech too literally but i HATE it bc it just makes me feel like#all the times i shared my interests meant nothinggggg typically i just ask 'neat; what makes you think ill like it?' and ppl start stumbling#and im like :(#whats rlly funny in this case is not only the fact i had only ever established my love of dark fantasy and mystery to this person#but they also flatout asked 'youre not really into modern media much are you' to which the answer was 'not much lol'#and i said the reasons i dont care for 'cute girls doing cute things' anime (re: k-on) is bc if i have the time to watch it then i at LEAST#wanna spend it watching a series that's???? not 'the point of it is to relax :)'??? i can sleep for that#anyways like 2 days later they said they said they think id REALLY like this new anime they've been watching lately and I was like 'oh?'#and it was yuru camp.... and internally i was like 'are you fucking kidding me' but on the outside i was like 'oh sweet what makes you think#id like it? id love some new media recommendations especially if they're newer shows bc ive been having SO MUCH TROUBLE trying to find#something interesting that isn't from 2008'#and they sent me a picture of the most generic anime girl ever and they're like 'it has really cute girls' and then i just wanted to kms#like.... this isn't bc you thought id like it; is it.....#wanted to die internally but i played it cool and was like 'oh no; i appreciate it thoughtfulness and all but i don't think this is for me'#also the time where someone recommended signalis to me and i was like 'oh?' and they were like 'YEAH its SO good the people who made it#were even INSPIRED off of Nier' KNOWING FULL WELL I DIDN'T LIKE IT AND THE AMOUNT MY ENTHUSIASM JUST DIED... i was like#'oh. well that will be a pass then' and they tried backpedaling like 'well it's not SUPER inspired; i didn't know you HATED nier :(' like#my past 15 posts on my twitter werent me realising that the game was absolute garbage and calling it the most regretful thing ive ever spent#money on during my attempted playthrough 😭 i was like 'thanks; but I'll pass' to which they then responded by promptly sending me#signalis memes i had absolutely no idea how to respond to WITHOUT making it seem like i was super annoyed so i was just kinda 😶 and didn't#reply and they were like 'sorry :(' and i was like 'haha it's okay! i just have absolutely no idea how to respond to this joke i dont#understand at ALL'#was probably one of the more awkward interactions ive ever had but genuinely speaking i was so INTERESTED until they brought up that it was#inspired by nier i literally psychically felt all the enthusiasm leaving my body from 'damn; i might actually have to look into this' to#'oh well that's a bullet dodged' did not trust the backtracking either....
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byanyan · 1 year ago
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byan finally getting comfortable enough with someone that they'll let that person take care of them and even go to them for care any time they're sick/hurt/not in a good place mentally/etc. is such a fucking dynamic goal tbh
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borkadonk · 2 years ago
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Dump all of your brainrots bork. The children are starving. Especially in private twt acc.
thank you for the encouragement kero but the cringe demon must stay locked up for just abit longer for the sake of my own sanity and the childrens, can't be giving y'all dubious food now
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hislittleraincloud · 20 days ago
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You know what’s sad? The Percy fans who ignored wssf because of their unknown hate for Jenna. Like you’re no better than the Jenna fans who ignored it. These people don’t get to call themselves real fans of these two because if they were, they’d support ALL their projects regardless of who is in them or what it’s about.
I didn't pay that close attention to the Percy stans. Which ones besides RD hate her? I need names. Not because I'll do anything, just so I know.
I don't know because I haven't been told. I don't have the time to seek anyone out myself, but if I casually come upon people I take note. There are other things I like to talk about besides this Wednesday actor yap.
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clockworksheep2 · 5 months ago
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love that Juno thinks I'm more likeable than they are, but I am Certain they are more likeable than I am lmfao
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himbo-kuto · 10 days ago
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plot: when you're about to argue but you're so pretty that his brain short circuits (all lads men)
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rafayel:
when your phone rang early this morning while you were on your morning jog with a panicked rafayel on the line, you knew what he was calling about. yesterday while you were visiting rafyel’s studio, you found it in disarray. paint, brushes and a variety of different papers littered any and all surfaces. you usually asked rafayel when you throw away scraps in his studio, but this time the clutter was driving you mad that you just threw away anything in sight that looked like garbage.
“hey– sorry to call you so early in the morning. did you or thomas clean my studio yesterday? there was this sketch somewhere around here with a bunch of colors and scribbles for my exhibits that’s coming up and now I can’t find it–” busted. you heard the ruffling of papers through the phone as he frantically searched for it. the guilt washed over you as you tried to formulate what to say. 
“i– i’m actually pretty close by. let me come over and help you find it.” he sighed in relief as felt like his drawing was saved. 
“thanks, i’ll see you soon.” it was your turn to sigh as you continued your jog (now sprint) over to rafayel’s studio. you might as well use this time to try and figure out ways for him to forgive you. 
you stood in front of the gate for a moment, chewing your thumb out of nervous habit before pushing through. you knew rafayel wouldn’t be mad at you, but just the fact you set back his work upset you. 
upon entering, rafayel’s back was to you. one hand was in his hair, the other on his hip as if he was trying to retrace all his steps. but before your brain could even register, you just blurted out the truth. 
“raf, i threw away the sketch– i’m so sorry! i was in here yesterday and the clutter was driving me insane! i couldn’t even get through here so i just grabbed things that looked like garbage and threw it away–” you had your eyes squeezed tight, not even wanting to see the potentially frustrated expression he was wearing. but when no response came, you peaked through your right eye to see that he was only blushing behind his own hand. 
it didn’t register that you were wearing your workout clothes– a matching set that hugged your body, well everywhere. the top you had on was a fitted cropped quarter zip jacket and unbeknownst to you on your sprint over, it had unzipped all the way– your cleavage on full display. though your hair was tucked under a cap, the way it clung to your face and chest from  your sweat didn’t go unnoticed by rafayel. 
you couldn’t help but bite back a smile as you saw the tips of his ears go red. you decided you were going to use this to your advantage. inching closer to him, you clasped your hands behind your back which only pushed your chest out further. he weakly held up his forearm as he looked away trying to get ahold of any working brain cells, but he showed no resistance once your chest made contact. you rested your chin on top of his arm, looking up innocently at him. 
“i’m sorry raf.. could you forgive me? i’ll clear my schedule and help you come up with another draft…” you spoke just above a whisper, afraid he’ll explode if you spoke any louder. a long (shakey) sigh escaped his lips along with what you interpreted as “you’ll be the death of me i swear…”
he fully turned toward you, one hand on your shoulder as the other one zipped your jacket all the way up to your neck. he cleared his throat as he cupped your cheeks together, swiftly kissing your pursed lips. 
“you better keep your promise, cutie! we have a lot of work to do.”
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zayne:
you did one last swipe of lipstick as you checked yourself in the mirror. you and zayne were going to an event hosted by akso, but zayne made it clear that there was a stritch one hour limit to say your pleasantries and then go home. sometimes these gatherings were entertaining but oftentimes they were grueling to sit through, even for zayne. 
you stood up from your vanity, turning your body from side to side making sure that your dress was sitting in all the right places. gold embellishments hung from your ears and neck bringing the look all together. but in the midst of your review, you heard a series of ruffling and mumbling coming from the kitchen followed by your name. you reached over to open the door and called out to him.
“what was that, love?” 
“did you eat the fruit tart in the fridge?” you froze in your spot. you totally forgot that tart was his and you had it with your lunch this afternoon. you zoomed out to the kitchen to see zayne looking into an empty pastry box and a dejected expression like you took candy from a baby. 
“zayne– i’m so sorry i forgot that you said you wanted it and– .. i ate it” he slowly shifted his gaze from the empty box to you across the counter. your eyebrows were downturned and there was a big frown on your face. zayne always looked forward to having a sweet treat before these events, it was his reward for mustering up the courage to go. you should’ve known to save it for him, but your hunger got the best of you.
you rounded the corner of the counter, taking his hands in yours. your eyes on the verge of tears, as you continued on apologizing but all zayne could hear was blah blah blah proper name, place name, backstory stuff– your perfume, citrusy and sweet, enveloped him like a trap. with your eyelids sparkly, your lips all plumped and your hair pulled back to expose your shoulders, he couldn’t even comprehend your apology.
“okay, zayne?” he blinked once, only now registering that you’ve been talking to him the whole time. the blush immediately grazed his cheeks and ears as he looked away from you. 
“it’s okay.. i forgive you.” he pulled you in by the waist, burying his face into the crook of your neck and taking a deep breath, letting the notes of your perfume be his treat until he was able to get one later. your fingers reached up to scratch the nape of his neck as you turned to kiss his cheek, not even noticing. 
“i’ll buy you whatever you want from the bakery tomorrow, i promise”
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caleb:
“you did what?!” you screeched to gideon over the phone. 
“look, i didn’t have a choice okay? caleb can be very persuasive with that evol of his. i’m sorry but i didn’t want to lose my fingers” a big sigh left your lips as you ran your fingers through your hair. you had been taking some secretive pilot lessons with gideon to try and impress caleb on your next flight lesson, but you bit off a little more than you could chew and ended up with a big bruise on your abdomen. 
“no, i get it. it was only a matter of time before he found out anyway. thanks though for holding out as long as you did.” you lifted up caleb’s shirt to take a look at your little accident. it was about the size of a grapefruit with hues of yellow, purple and blue painting your skin. 
“no, me and my fingers thank you for being understanding. but you know the drill kid, ice and heat every 15 minutes.” 
“yeah, yeah, yeah. you sound like–” before you could even say his name, you heard the clattering of the locks. 
“gotta go, the colonel is in.” you quickly hung up the phone, looking around the bathroom for places to hide and decided the closet was your best option. you pulled the door shut, trying to close it as silently as possible upon hearing his footsteps approaching. 
“pipsqueak.” not a question of where you were, but a known fact. you didn’t answer, choosing to ride this out for as long as you can. 
“you can’t hide from me. you left your phone on the counter and the hallway smells like your shampoo.” damn his obsessive nature (and your stupidity thinking you could ever hide from him in his own place). 
you held your breath as your eyes snapped to the handle. he was right in front of the door. there was a pause and.. nothing. his footsteps slowly faded to where the shower was, swiftly pulling the curtain back to expose an empty tub.
“come out, come out pips. i won’t be mad, i just want to see.” liar. you got the smallest scratch on your face from a mission and he wouldn’t let you hear the end of it for weeks. 
there was no use in hiding anymore. you turned the handle, but didn’t open it all the way. he reached his fingers through the gap and opened the door to find you looking like a dog with its tail between its legs– looking down at the ground, arms guarding your mid section. caleb cautiously took you by your hands and pulled you out of the closet. 
“let me see it.” he gently requested. you huffed as you carefully lifted up the shirt to reveal the bruise. he let out a distressed noise, quickly ridding himself of his gloves before his bare fingers grazed your skin. 
“i’m fine caleb, it’s not even that bad–”
“not that bad?!” he exploded like a volcano that was waiting to erupt. 
“pips, you have a bruise the size of a meteor on your stomach and it’s darkening by the second! what did you even do?” he took the shirt between his fingers, pulling it up even higher to inspect for any more damage. it was then that he realized that you were only in your bra and underwear with just his long sleeve to cover up. he took his moment to take you all in as he effortlessly towered over you. 
hair wet, smelling like apples, in a matching set, in his clothes.. brain go brrrrr….
he didn’t know if it was his chip kicking in or his brain malfunctioning, but thank god you were looking away from him. he felt the blush spread throughout his face, every inkling of scolding you fading by the second
he cleared his throat, gently letting his shirt fall back into place as he gingerly wrapped his hands behind your back, pulling you close. burying his face in the hair, he let the scent of you calm him down. he just hated seeing you hurt, especially if there was a mark or bruise to show for it.
“i’m sorry. i was only trying to impress you for our next flying lesson and then the weather suddenly changed and then the throttle did a thing–and i got launched into the control panel and..” you admitted embarrassingly. he laughed as he pulled away, taking your cheeks into his hands.  
“okay, okay. just next time please be careful. we don’t want you getting a bionic arm or anything–”
“CALEB!”
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xavier:
exhaustion was oozing off xavier the moment he stepped into your apartment. his footsteps were dragging, shoulders hunched over, with a severe lack of motivation to keep his eyes open.  it was a series of: lack of sleep, fighting off more wanders than he could even count and then doing that over and over again for the past week. his back and body hurt and all he wanted to do was lay down and sleep for a week undisturbed. 
he ridded himself of his uniform, begrudgingly forced himself to shower, dried off his hair and plopped so hard on the bed it skirted and hit the wall. as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was already in his rem cycle, letting sleep take him for however long sleep would have him. 
though he was a valiant hunter, he knew that your place was safe. so if he felt a bump or a shift in the bed, he knew it was only you. though he wasn’t expecting you so soon. even with his eyes closed counting sheep, he was able to feel you crawl over his body. your hair tickled his collar bones as you leaned down to shower him in kisses. from his neck, cheeks, forehead, with a final blow to the lips, he didn’t budge. he wanted sleep and so he was going to have it (even if it meant hearing from you later) but you didn’t relent. 
you continued to lay kisses all over him, knowing that he’s done this to you before when you wanted to sleep but he wanted you to get up. you wanted his attention and much like xavier, you were going to have it. you held his face in your hands, laying loud kiss after loud kiss, trying to pull him out of dreamland but to no avail. you huffed as you sat your tush on his stomach. you moved his face from side to side before resorting to squishing his cheeks together. 
there was a slight twitch in his eyebrows signifying to you that he was slowly waking up, which resulted in you poking and prodding his face. after several minutes of working like a cat clocked in at the biscuit making factory, he let out one final groan before his eyes barely opened. 
“there he is.” you said sweetly. he huffed, turning to the side while covering his face to try and avoid your advances. 
“no he is not…” you took that as a challenge, now wrestling with him to lay on his back. when xavier was asleep, he was like a log. with much resistance, he flopped on his back while you pinned his wrists above his head. he peeled his eyes open, ready to let you have it only to find you with your hair all disheveled, the top buttons of your pajama shirt all undone and askew with the faintest wash of pink over your cheeks. 
“i just wanted some kisses and snuggles…” you admitted as you let go of his wrists. a sigh of defeat left his lips.
“well if you say it like that, of course i can’t be mad at you.” a giggle left your lips as he wrapped his arms and legs around you. it was his turn to shower you in kisses which you happily received. when the shower was over, you laid ontop of him with your face buried in his neck. 
“i’m sorry i disturbed your sleep.. you can go back now. i promise i won’t wake you until tomorrow.” he nuzzled his cheek into your head, already mumbling a bunch of nothings into your ear.
“i love you too, honey.” 
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sylus:
“i said no.” sylus was being unreasonable. all you wanted to do was join him on an ‘auction’ to help him out. he had been stressed about it all week– skipped meals, jaw clenched in his (lack of) sleep, dark bags under his eyes– you haven’t seen him this stressed in a while. 
“why not? you know that it would be easier with me there and i want to go, so why no–” he held up his hand to you, too focused on the papers in front of him to even look you in the eye. 
“my decision is final. it’s too dangerous, i wouldn’t even go if it wasn’t a necessity.” you knew that he was only looking out for your safety, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less. if he wasn’t going to willingly take you, guess it was time to take matters into your own hands. you didn’t utter another word, choosing to leave his office in silent rage. 
once he knew you were out of sight, he heaved a deep sigh. he could feel the pounding headache coming on. removing his glasses, he leaned back onto his chair while squeezing the bridge of his nose. he was already trying to think of ways to make it up to you, though this one would be tough. 
it was a few quiet days in the N109 zone. you decided to keep your interactions with sylus to a minimum, only greeting him the times he came to bed or when he came to dinner. he chose to respect that distance, trying to make the most out of the times you did give him the time of day. he couldn’t wait to get this mission over and done with. 
then came the day of his departure. you weren’t petty enough to not send him off, especially on dangerous missions such as this one. the last thing that you always handed off was his leather jacket. you had done it the first few missions he went on, and from there it kinda stuck. send offs never felt right without it. as he loaded the last suitcase, you stood behind him with his coat. 
he leaned in and gave your forehead a kiss. 
“i’ll be back soon, kitten.” he mumbled the words into your temple. you offered him a soft smile before holding up his jacket. he swiftly dropped his arms into the sleeves, pulling it over his shoulders, now counting down the minutes until he could be back. 
“i love you, get back safe.” you waved off him and the twins as you watched the car went off into the distance.
“you won’t have to wait long, dear.” 
shit. 
this was bad. 
sylus knew it was going to be, but he hoped just a little that it wouldn’t be. removed the hand from his abdomen to check if the bleeding had stopped, but surely enough his hand was covered in his crimson red blood. he leaned against a wall, knowing that the twins wouldn’t be here another 30 minutes. he knew his regenerative powers could kick in soon, but he was sorely outnumbered. he heard footsteps behind him and what sounded like a “he’s in here!” and just as he was about to set his guns ablaze, he heard a few shots coming from that same hallway. he squinted his eyes as he concentrated on the commotion.
‘one… two…..three.. four down. who?? they’re not supposed to be there for ano–’ the door swung open and upon instinct, sylus swiftly held up his gun to the intruder ready to shoot. he never hesitated in his life, but something was telling him to do otherwise. his fierce eyes met your intense ones in the same position. you both retracted your weapons before sylus pulled you through the doorway, crashing your back against his chest.
“how many are left?” he leaned down and whispered. 
“ten. five in the front and five in the back. the twins should be able to handle them. i took out all the ones in here for now.” for a second he breathed out a sigh of relief, leaning against you. sylus would’ve made it out, but certainly not in the best of conditions. 
“why are you here?” 
“i think the words you’re looking for are ‘thank you’” he rolled his eyes, turning you around to take you in. stunning, as always. your hair was a bit disheveled, straps fallen down to your shoulders and your dress was torn around the edges, but in this moonlight he was utterly captivated by you. all his anger and many of the words that he had for you suddenly flew out the window. he tugged your straps gently back up to your shoulders before giving you a kiss. 
“i’ll deal with you when we get back.” you basked in his presence for mere seconds before smelling the copper in the air. you stepped back to examine him before your eyes landed on his hand. he showed no resistance showing you his wound, knowing that you were right and he was caught. a heavy sigh left your lips. you knew he would be back to himself in no time, but it reminded you that he wasn’t all that invisible. 
“still think you don’t need me?” sylus chuckled as his face made its way into the crook of your neck, arms snaking around your waist. he took in one long inhale. 
“... you changed your perfume.. that’s why i couldn’t tell you were here.” you laughed breathlessly into ear, but not before you heard more footsteps coming in from the hallway. you both tensed, trying to remain as silent as possible. he tapped two of his fingers on your left side signalling that’s where he was headed. but before you could move, he noticed a shadow coming from the window. he pulled you down, letting off a few rounds towards the window. it was seconds before all hell broke loose once again. 
luckily you both were able to fend off the second wave until the twins got there. when it was all said and done, you two were able to make it out with a few bumps and bruises, you’ve definitely done worse. the car ride back was silent as you were taping up sylus’ arm. you knew he was angry at you, now having to be in pain because you didn’t listen to him.
“i don’t regret coming.” he wiped off some dried blood from your cheek, now his turn to tape up your wounds. 
“i know you don’t.” the conversation settled back into a comfortable silence. he started by dabbing some ointment on your scratches.
“... and thank you.. for saving my ass back there.” 
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1hyunjae · 10 months ago
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:D
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fingertipsmp3 · 1 year ago
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Have we learned nothing. Have we truly learned nothing.
#back in march i had this epic breakdown#my mom was really worried about me. she was like ‘is there anything i could do to help you?’#i was like yeah. you could try to understand my issues or if you can’t understand them; at least respect that i have them#just stuff like i need reminders and i need some stuff to be spelled out to me fairly clearly otherwise i don’t remember how to do it#so tell me why today i was like ‘sorry just a sec i need to set a reminder on my phone to do laundry’ and she laughed at me??#‘what do you mean you need to set a reminder to do laundry?’ what’s not clicking. i said what i said#‘well don’t you see the full washing basket’ no i quite literally will not see it#anything i’ve seen more than like twice just becomes part of my background. i cease to notice it#i bought a new dvd player like 2 weeks ago and it’s still in its box next to the tv and i haven’t set it up yet because i genuinely do not#recall that it’s even there most of the time. and when i DO remember that it’s there there’s invariably something else i have to do first#and by the time i’ve completed THAT i’ve forgotten about the dvd player#‘how do you forget about something you can see with your eyes’ christ how should i know#i THINK. although i’m not certain. but i THINK it’s called being ambiguously neurodivergent. i’m not sure though!!!!#bear in mind here i’m not asking anyone else to come in and support me or do anything for me#i’m literally just asking not to be made fun of for the methods i set up to support MYSELF in doing these tasks#literally stuff like setting a reminder TO DO LAUNDRY or putting trash in a really inconvenient place#so i’ll trip over it and then go ‘oh yeah’ and take it out#i’m also asking for my issues to not be made fun of. especially when they’re harmless#it literally doesn’t affect anyone but me that i haven’t set up my dvd player yet. it doesn’t even affect me that muchd#just pisses me off. ‘is there anything i could do to help you’ you could stop making me feel like absolute garbage for something my brain#does & that i don’t want it to do. you could especially not make fun of me when i try to cope with it#she really said ‘okay’ to that and then. didn’t. lol#if you don’t understand just say that#personal
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solxamber · 5 months ago
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Trash Novel Chronicles: My Knight is Too Loyal || Sebek Zigvolt
You wake up as the villainess in a novel that had to be written as a joke. The heroine is trying to ruin your life, but if you refuse to acknowledge her, then it’s not happening. Right? …Right??
It doesn't help that your knight, Sebek, is annoyingly endearing.
Series Masterlist
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You were finally done.
After a grueling week of unpacking, assembling furniture that came with instructions written in an eldritch language, and resisting the urge to commit arson when you realized your kitchen had exactly one electrical outlet, your new apartment was finally livable. Spacious, well-lit, and with an actual window that didn’t face another building? A true luxury.
With a sigh of contentment, you set your trusty roomba loose to clean up the dust bunnies while you kicked back with your favorite pastime—reading an absolutely garbage webnovel.
This particular one had come highly recommended in the “so bad it’s good” category, and hoo boy, did it deliver.
The plot, as far as you could tell, was this:
Prince Malleus (overpowered second male lead) was best friends with the villainess (actually cool).
Sebek, loyal knight, was also sworn to protect the villainess. He liked her. They were childhood friends. He was ride or die for her.
Enter the heroine, who spawned out of nowhere, latched onto Malleus, and immediately decided that she needed Sebek’s loyalty so she could get closer to him.
She then proceeded to sabotage the villainess at every turn, and somehow no one thought this was weird.
The villainess, kept fighting back—until she got poisoned on Sebek’s watch.
Sebek, devastated, exiled himself in disgrace.
And then the Duke of the North (where did he come from???) married the heroine.
You had to put your phone down because you were WHEEZING.
How. HOW???
How was this woman out here killing the prince's best friend and still pulling a wedding out of it?? Who was writing this? Why did Sebek go into self-imposed exile when the obvious answer was to punt the heroine into the sun???
You wiped a tear from your eye, clutching your stomach. "Exiled himself in disgrace—oh my god, bro, what are you doing—"
Feeling the desperate need for a snack to recover from this literary war crime, you got up and made your way to the kitchen.
At that moment, your roomba—your once-trusted ally in the battle against dust—made a choice.
It bumped into the precariously stacked pile of moving boxes you had yet to sort through.
You turned just in time to see your doom.
A full avalanche of books, kitchenware, and your entire collection of novelty mugs came crashing down on you.
Your last thought before the world faded to black?
"Should’ve never trusted a roomba."
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There were several ways you expected to wake up. A soft ray of sunlight filtering through your curtains? Sure. The soothing sound of birds chirping? Ideal. Maybe even a hangover if past-you made bad decisions? Understandable.
What you did not expect was to be jolted out of unconsciousness by the auditory equivalent of an angry airhorn.
“LORD MALLEUS, SHE'S STILL UNCONSCIOUS—PERHAPS SHE HAS FALLEN INTO AN ETERNAL SLUMBER FROM WHICH SHE WILL NEVER—!!!”
“Sebek,” another voice interrupted, eerily calm in comparison. “It will be fine.”
Sebek?
Like. The Sebek?
Your eyes snapped open like a possessed doll in a horror movie, and standing in front of you were none other than—drumroll please—Malleus Draconia and Sebek Zigvolt, looking like they had been ripped straight out of that godawful webnovel.
Sebek was vibrating with fury, looking a split second away from detonating like a nuclear warhead. Malleus, meanwhile, seemed vaguely relieved that you were awake.
Your brain struggled to reboot.
You looked down. Fancy dress? Check. Lace gloves? Check. Suspiciously villainous vibes? Check.
Oh no.
OH NO.
You were the villainess.
Malleus, in his infinite patience, took your absolutely deranged expression as a cue to explain, “The heroine tripped you, and you lost consciousness.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
You covered your face with your hands. “So now I have to deal with that dumbass?”
Sebek immediately whipped out his glove, preparing to slap someone into another dimension. “THIS INSOLENCE CANNOT STAND. I SHALL CHALLENGE HER TO A DUEL AND—”
“Sebek, no.”
“—VANQUISH HER FOR DARING TO—”
“Sebek. Put the glove down.”
“—BESMIRCH YOUR HONOR, MY LADY—”
“Sebek. No.”
Malleus, amused, simply observed as if watching an entertaining stage play. Probably because his solution would be to turn the heroine into a very apologetic pile of ashes.
Sebek begrudgingly reabsorbed his rage (for now), but he was still seething.
Malleus, after ensuring you were probably not about to die, excused himself and left the room. Sebek remained, arms crossed, radiating enough protective energy to function as a personal bodyguard and a security alarm.
You sighed, rubbing your temples. “Sebek, from now on, I’m just going to ignore her.”
Sebek visibly short-circuited.
“You—you're just going to let this blatant disrespect slide???”
“Yes.”
“But—”
“Yes.”
He looked like he had been personally betrayed by the laws of honor and decency, but after a long moment, he reluctantly agreed. Probably because you had the final say in this.
As soon as he left the room, you immediately face-planted into your pillow and let out the most guttural, despairing scream of your life.
Then, with great suffering, you dragged yourself up, because it was officially time to make a game plan to survive this absolute trash novel.
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You did not want to go to this tea party.
In fact, if given the choice between enduring this or being launched via medieval trebuchet into the ocean, you would’ve chosen the ocean. At least drowning would’ve been fast.
But no. Your father insisted.
Something about “maintaining your standing,” and “showing the nobility that you are still strong,” and “not letting some lowborn upstart make a fool of you.”
As if the heroine had any power over you besides the supernatural ability to generate plot conveniences. As if you weren’t already suffering enough in this stupid novel, trying to survive a romance plotline with all the grace of a cat thrown into a bathtub.
And thus, you found yourself seated at an expensive table, sipping lukewarm tea, pretending to be interested in whatever the hell the noble ladies were talking about while resisting the urge to flip the entire table over and walk out.
To make matters worse, Sebek was having an existential crisis.
Not that he’d admit it, of course. But the way he was standing, practically vibrating with tension, scanning the tea party like a very aggressive meerkat—yeah. It was bad.
Sebek was on edge.
At any given moment, his gaze would dart from one thing to another, as if expecting a chandelier to drop on your head, a poisoned biscuit to be slipped onto your plate, or a rogue assassin to emerge from the hedges wielding a butter knife.
You finally had enough.
Turning toward him, you gripped his shoulders. Firmly.
“Sebek.”
His eyes snapped to you.
“Buddy.” You gave him a little shake. “Friend. You need to chill.”
“I AM PERFECTLY COMPOSED—”
Shake, shake. “Sebek. Chill.”
Sebek blinked. For the first time in history, he shut his mouth.
And then—oddly enough—you saw pink.
Like, an actual blush. A faint, barely-there dusting of color across his cheeks, the kind you’d associate with a lovestruck noble maiden, not a half-fae knight who could probably break your spine with his bare hands.
For a moment, you wondered if he was overheating. Should you dunk him in ice water?
But miraculously, Sebek actually calmed down.
At least, he stopped looking like he was about to tackle a waiter for breathing too close to you. That was progress.
And just when you thought you could finally coast through the rest of this miserable tea party in peace—
You saw her.
The Heroine.
She was across the garden, standing under a carefully curated arrangement of roses, twirling a delicate teacup in her dainty hands, looking exactly as picturesque as a main character should.
And she was batting her eyelashes at Sebek.
Like a lot.
Like some kind of malfunctioning Victorian doll trying to send Morse code with her eyelids.
Sebek, for his part, was slowly backing away. It was clear he wanted nothing to do with her.
Unfortunately, his retreat only seemed to embolden the heroine further. As if she had mistaken his disgust for shyness.
Sebek Zigzagged.
She Zigzagged.
Sebek took a sharp left.
She matched him, too fast, like an NPC with broken pathing.
And that’s when you decided enough was enough.
With the most subtle movement possible, you lifted a hand and motioned for him to come to you.
Sebek sprinted.
Like, full-speed, knocking over at least one butler in the process sprinted. By the time he reached you, he was breathing hard, eyes wide like he had just escaped something truly horrifying.
“Sebek,” you said, voice casual, “Stick by my side.”
"UNDERSTOOD," he immediately responded, standing directly next to you like a sentient stone wall.
And thus began the worst tea party of the heroine’s life.
For months, the heroine had followed the same battle strategy.
She’d make small, calculated jabs at you—little insults hidden under layers of fake concern, “Oh, you look rather pale today, are you unwell?” or “That color looks so… unique on you! Not many would be bold enough to wear it!”
The old villainess would always take the bait.
She’d snap back, argue, cause a scene. And in the process, the heroine would look like the poor, innocent victim just trying her best to be kind.
But you?
You ignored her.
And that? That was unacceptable.
The first attempt was a comment about your shoes.
She tilted her head, voice sickly sweet. “Oh, those shoes are… interesting. Are they custom-made?”
You blinked.
That was it. Just blinked.
Nothing more.
Then, without breaking eye contact, you turned to Sebek and pointed at the cake.
"Sebek, do you want some cake?"
“OF COURSE—”
The heroine twitched.
The second attempt was a jab at your hair.
She giggled, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear, voice dripping with faux innocence. “Oh dear, your hair looks a little tangled today! Perhaps you should try this new serum I discovered—”
You did not react.
Instead, you casually picked up a sugar cube, inspected it like it was the most fascinating thing in existence, and dropped it into your tea.
Then you slowly turned away.
Like she was scenery.
Like she was part of the background.
The heroine’s eye twitched.
Then came the third and final straw.
She physically stood in your path.
Like, full-on NPC blocking a hallway in a video game levels of obstructive.
Waiting.
Wanting you to react.
You did not.
You simply stepped to the left and walked around her.
As if she were a particularly annoying potted plant.
That was it.
That was the moment.
The moment she realized you were not playing her game.
And she SNAPPED.
In a last-ditch effort, she actually grabbed at your dress like a cranky toddler in a tantrum. Unfortunately for her, you were faster.
With all the grace of a trained assassin, you sidestepped her so effortlessly that she nearly tripped forward. For one horrifying second, she flailed—arms windmilling—before catching herself.
Then, with a furious huff, she turned bright red, grabbed her skirts, and stormed out of the tea party.
Absolutely. Defeated.
The entire garden was dead silent.
Then, softly, Sebek cleared his throat.
“…Does this mean I can have another slice of cake?”
You took a victorious sip of your tea.
+1 point for you.
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This was a mistake. A grave, sweaty mistake.
Sebek, in all his knightly wisdom, had decided that you needed to learn self-defense. That was fine in theory. In practice?
You were dying.
It had started simple—stance, grip, footwork. Except your stance was wobbly, your grip was weak, and your footwork consisted of tripping over absolutely nothing .
Sebek, ever the determined instructor, refused to give up on you.
“Again!” he barked, adjusting your posture for the hundredth time. “You must hold the blade firmly!”
You tried. You really did. But the moment he stepped back, the sword dipped dangerously in your grasp like it was actively trying to escape you.
Sebek sighed through his nose. “You need to engage your core!”
“Sebek,” you panted, struggling to lift the sword back up. “I have a core. It just doesn’t want to engage.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose like a disappointed tutor watching their pupil fail basic math.
“Again.”
You half-heartedly swung the sword. It wobbled like a particularly useless noodle.
Sebek looked physically pained.
After several more embarrassing attempts—including a particularly tragic one where you almost dropped the sword on your own foot—you finally gave up.
You collapsed onto the ground, dramatically splaying out in the dirt like a knight who had perished not in battle, but in sheer spiritual defeat.
“I can’t do this,” you groaned, flopping an arm over your face. “I’m not built for the knight life.”
Sebek’s shadow loomed over you, exasperated. “You’re giving up already?”
“Yes.”
“Unacceptable. A true warrior never surrenders!”
“Well, I’m not a warrior, Sebek. I am a delicate aristocrat. My hobbies include drinking tea and not getting stabbed.”
Sebek crossed his arms, preparing to argue—but before he could launch into a speech about honor and duty and the sacred art of not dying, you simply muttered:
“That’s why you have to be my knight forever.”
The complaints instantly stopped.
Sebek didn’t say a word.
You assumed he had accepted your logic.
You didn’t see the way his back straightened slightly, or the way his expression softened into something oddly pleased. You definitely didn’t catch the way a smug, satisfied little smile flickered across his face—like a knight who had just secured his lifelong oath without even trying.
Instead, you remained on the ground, still dramatically sprawled out, waiting for him to launch into another lecture.
But nothing came.
“…Sebek?”
“Hmph.” He turned, suddenly far too content to argue. “If that is the case, then I suppose there’s no need to force you into training.”
You squinted up at him. “Wait. That’s it? You’re giving up?”
“I am merely accepting my duty,” he said smoothly. “After all, a knight must always protect their charge.”
You stared.
Suspicious.
Sebek was never this agreeable.
But, ultimately, you were too tired to question it.
With a sigh of relief, you let yourself fully relax into the grass, already looking forward to a nap.
Meanwhile, Sebek stood guard over you, looking far too smug for someone who had just lost an argument.
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This was supposed to be a normal afternoon.
A nice, quiet, peaceful moment of watching Sebek ride his horse like he was leading an army into battle while Silver sat on his, perfectly relaxed, looking like the human embodiment of a soft exhale.
Meanwhile, to your right, Malleus and Lilia were having a debate that was growing increasingly unhinged.
"I'm telling you, Malleus," Lilia said with the confidence of a man who had never once been stopped from committing a crime. "If you want someone, you simply steal them away! That’s romance!"
Malleus, who had the power to obliterate reality with a flick of his wrist, rubbed his temples like a deeply tired office worker. "Lilia, that is not romance. That is abduction."
Lilia waved him off like he was swatting at a fly. "Semantics."
You turned your head just in time to see Malleus pinching the bridge of his nose, which was deeply funny because what did he even have to be stressed about? He was practically untouchable. And yet, somehow, Lilia was succeeding in emotionally exhausting him.
You had no idea how to contribute to this conversation, so you simply accepted that your afternoon would be full of crimes against logic.
But then Lilia’s sharp, ancient gaze zeroed in on you like a sniper locking onto a target.
"So," he said smoothly, a dangerous glint in his eyes. "Have you decided who you'll take to the ball?"
You blinked.
The ball? Oh. Right. That was a thing.
You mulled it over for a second, tapping your fingers against your knee.
Logically, Sebek was already glued to your side at all times. He was practically your own personal security alarm, complete with flashing lights, blaring sirens, and the sheer, undying volume of a man who had never whispered in his entire life.
Taking him would be easy.
"I'll probably take Sebek," you said casually.
There was a beat of silence.
Then—
Lilia’s smile widened.
Not just any smile. A knowing smile. The kind that said, I have seen civilizations rise and fall, and yet nothing amuses me more than whatever is about to happen next.
Malleus, previously neutral, now looked deeply, deeply intrigued.
You squinted at them. "Why are you both looking at me like I'm a stray dog that just solved a math problem?"
Before you could demand answers, Sebek and Silver came back.
And Lilia—menace incarnate—immediately turned to Sebek and declared, with the utmost delight:
"Sebek! You've been chosen as their escort for the ball!"
Silver looked politely interested. Sebek—
Sebek crashed.
Like he hit an invisible wall.
For a second, he just stood there, expression frozen in a mix of shock, honor, and the sheer terror of being handed a social situation he wasn’t prepared for.
Then, in a grand act of buffering, he stiffened, clenched his fists, and proclaimed with all the force of a man declaring war:
"OF COURSE! AS YOUR LOYAL KNIGHT, IT IS ONLY NATURAL THAT I ACCOMPANY YOU!"
And then—before you could so much as blink—he turned on his heel and stomped off, as if he had just been given an urgent mission from Malleus himself.
The moment he was gone, you turned back to the three remaining culprits—only to find all of them looking at you like you were the underdog in a sports movie who had just pulled off a game-winning shot.
Lilia’s grin was downright diabolical.
Malleus was observing you like a scientist who had just discovered a new species.
Silver nodded, as if he had been let in on a joke you weren’t privy to.
Your eye twitched. "Okay. WHAT."
Lilia clapped you on the back like a proud father. "Oh, don’t mind us," he said airily. "We’re simply excited to see how this unfolds!"
Malleus inclined his head. "Indeed. It will be most… fascinating."
Silver hummed in agreement, eyes twinkling with something dangerously close to amusement.
You stared.
Sebek was still stomping off in the distance, probably preparing himself for battle against an imaginary threat.
Meanwhile, these three looked like they had just bet on a winning horse.
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You were so bored.
As someone who had once lived in the glorious era of internet, memes, and instant entertainment, being isekai’d into a medieval fantasy novel was actual hell.
Your choices for passing the time were:
Sitting at a tea party listening to Lady Whatever gossip about how her second cousin’s neighbor allegedly married his horse (scandalous).
Shopping, which involved pretending to care about embroidery while avoiding getting guilt-tripped into buying a hat the size of a carriage wheel.
But today? Today was different.
There was a theater performance. And you were going.
Sebek, of course, was accompanying you, because you weren’t allowed to go anywhere without your personal security system.
The two of you arrived, found your seats, and settled in as the play began.
It was a forbidden romance between a noblewoman and her loyal knight.
You squinted.
That was it? That was the forbidden part?
What, was it slightly inconvenient for them to date? Were they going to act like this was the most tragic love story of all time when the biggest obstacle was mild disapproval?
You were expecting a real problem—an ancient family feud, a cursed bloodline, maybe even a dragon kidnapping someone for fun.
But no. It was just a noble and her knight, staring deeply into each other’s eyes while the orchestra swelled dramatically.
You side-eyed Sebek, about to make a snide comment.
And that’s when you noticed. Sebek was sweating.
His jaw was clenched. His hands were gripping the arms of his seat like the very concept of upholstery had personally insulted him.
And most importantly?
He was actively avoiding looking at you.
On stage, the knight fell to one knee, passionately declaring, “My lady, I have sworn to protect you—but in truth, my heart has belonged to you from the moment we met.”
Sebek’s grip on his seat tightened.
You turned back to the stage, more confused now.
The noblewoman gasped, placing a delicate hand on her chest. “Sir Knight, I—!”
Cue dramatic embrace. Cue Sebek looking like he was experiencing an existential crisis in real time.
For the next twenty minutes, Sebek refused to so much as glance in your direction.
The show ended with a completely unnecessary death scene (the knight got stabbed protecting the noblewoman from a bandit with the world’s worst aim), and as soon as the curtains fell, Sebek practically launched himself out of his seat.
You walked out together, the evening air cool against your skin.
Sebek, still refusing to look at you, was marching forward with the kind of stiff, overly formal movements that meant his brain was short-circuiting.
You raised an eyebrow. "Are you good?"
"I am perfectly fine," he said, a little too quickly.
You shrugged, brushing it off. Sebek being Sebek. He was always like this.
You didn’t notice how his hands twitched at his sides.
Or how, for one painfully fleeting moment during the play, he had imagined what it would be like—just once—to take your hand, without the excuse of duty.
But only Sebek and the dark theater would ever know that.
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Festivals were supposed to be fun.
Supposed to be.
But for Sebek, this was nothing short of a battlefield.
The night had started normally enough. Malleus, Lilia, Silver, Sebek, and you had all arrived together, the festival in full swing around you. Lanterns glowed softly in the trees, music played from all corners of the square, and the air was thick with the smell of food—grilled meats, sweet pastries, roasted nuts. It was the perfect evening for a carefree stroll.
And then, suspiciously quickly, things took a turn.
“Ah,” Lilia suddenly said, snapping his fingers. “I just remembered—I must go investigate the historical significance of festival games.”
Silver, who had been mid-bite into a fried pastry, blinked. “What?”
Lilia was already gone.
Malleus nodded sagely. “Indeed, I must also depart. There are… matters of great importance I must attend to.”
You stared at him. “You’re about to go stare at gargoyles, aren’t you?”
Malleus did not dignify this with an answer.
Then came Silver’s turn. He at least tried to make it convincing.
“I, um—” He paused, brain clearly short-circuiting. “I have to—”
Sebek, ever the loyal soldier, stepped forward. “SILVER, WHEREVER YOU GO, WE SHALL—”
Silver immediately put a hand on Sebek’s shoulder. “No. You both stay.”
Sebek froze.
Suspicion bloomed in his sharp green eyes. “Why?”
Silver looked at you. Then back at Sebek. Then at you again. And then—like a father setting his son off into the world—he simply patted Sebek’s shoulder and said, “Have fun.”
Then he left.
Just like that, you and Sebek were alone.
You turned to Sebek, shrugged, and grabbed his hand. “Alright then! Let’s go have fun.”
Sebek ascended into a new state of panic.
One: You Held His Hand.
His hand.
Which was now holding your hand.
He was a knight. A protector. His hand had wielded swords, raised shields, sworn loyalty—
His hand had never done this.
“W-Wait, I—!”
You, completely oblivious to the fact that you were literally ruining him, simply smiled. “Come on, let’s get food first!”
And just like that, he was dragged into the festival.
Two: You Fed Him.
Sebek had prepared for many things in life.
Betrayal? Yes. Combat? Absolutely. The burden of responsibility? Without question.
But he had not prepared for you pressing a warm pastry into his hands and saying, “Try this! It’s really good.”
He stared at it like it was an enemy.
“I—this is unnecessary! I should be watching for threats, not—”
Then you, with absolutely zero hesitation, took a bite from your own pastry, hummed thoughtfully, and then just—just held it up to his mouth.
Sebek froze.
“…What,” he said, voice dangerously unstable, “are you doing?”
“Letting you try mine.”
Unacceptable.
UNACCEPTABLE.
This was wrong. You were a noble, he was your knight. His duty was to protect you, not to—to—
To have feelings.
To want things.
But you were still holding the pastry up, completely unaware of the sheer war happening in his mind.
So, with the slow hesitation of a man walking into a death trap, Sebek leaned down and took a small, precise bite.
…It was delicious.
…This was still unacceptable.
“See?” you said brightly, taking another bite yourself. “Tastes better when you share.”
Sebek almost dropped dead on the spot.
Three: The Smile.
Oh, that smile.
You were leading him from stall to stall, still holding his hand, still treating this like a perfectly normal outing and not the absolute nightmare it was for his fragile, suffering heart.
And every time you turned back to him—every time you laughed at something ridiculous, or smiled when he grumbled about stall vendors trying to scam you, or simply looked at him with that casual, easy warmth—
Something in him broke.
Not in a bad way. But absolutely in a way that would jeopardize his purpose. In the way that made him want to 1v1 the entire world just to make sure you always smiled like that.
Sebek was not meant for this.
He was a knight. A warrior. A protector.
He was not meant to look at you and wish, with every inch of his being, that he could hold your hand not because of duty, but because you wanted him to.
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The ball was going well.
Which, frankly, was a miracle.
You were three glasses of wine in, the music was pleasant, and—most importantly—there was no heroine in sight.
Malleus was at peace, sipping his drink like an ancient dragon who had finally hoarded enough gold. Lilia was across the room, very seriously trying to convince a noble to invest in bat jousting (“Picture it, my dear baron—tiny suits of armor, high-speed aerial combat, think of the prestige!”). Silver was half-asleep at the table, so still that he was practically furniture.
And Sebek? Sebek was eating with the sheer intensity of a man who had never been allowed to sit and enjoy a meal in his life.
You were basking in the rare moment of peace when—
She arrived.
The heroine waltzed in, all curls and delicate elegance, scanning the room like she owned the place.
Immediately, you activated Ignore Mode.
But then—
Then she spoke.
“I challenge you!”
You blinked.
Challenge me to what? A duel? A political debate? A staring contest??
And then, with the smuggest expression known to man, she stepped aside to reveal her new(?) knight. You choked on your drink.
Because her knight—
Looked like Sebek.
Like, exactly like Sebek.
Same height, same build, suspiciously similar armor—but the worst part?
His hair was green.
Like she had dyed it.
You nearly dropped your wine.
You turned to Sebek.
Then to knockoff Sebek.
Then to Malleus—who was so absorbed in his perfect night that he hadn’t even registered the incoming disaster.
Then back to fake Sebek.
Sebek, who had been peacefully eating his steak, suddenly froze.
“WHAT IN THE GREAT SEVEN—” His chair scraped across the floor as he stood, eyes wide with pure fury.
The heroine beamed. “My knight will prove his superiority over yours! A true battle of skill and honor!”
You were still stuck on the hair.
"DID YOU DYE THIS MAN’S HAIR GREEN?!"
Fake Sebek smirked, folding his arms. “A knight should be willing to make sacrifices for his lady.”
Sebek looked ready to commit several war crimes.
“This is an INSULT!” He stepped forward, eyes blazing, voice booming. “YOU THINK YOU CAN MATCH ME WITH A PALE IMITATION?! I—”
Oh, hell no.
You had already suffered through so much stupidity in this world. You were not about to let Sebek engage in a battle of the bootlegs just because the heroine had gone completely off the rails.
You grabbed Sebek’s arm.
He whipped around like an enraged storm god. “MY LADY, I MUST—”
“No,” you said flatly. “Not worth it.”
“But—”
“Sebek.”
“She—”
“Sebek.”
“She dares—”
“Sebek. Please.”
His jaw locked. He looked like he wanted to argue. Like he needed to argue. But then you let out a long, exhausted sigh and said,
“Just dance with me instead.”
Sebek stopped breathing.
The entire ballroom faded. The heroine? Gone. Bootleg Sebek? Who? The audience of nosy nobles? Irrelevant.
All that mattered was that you—the person he had sworn to protect, the one he had dedicated his entire being to—had just asked him to dance.
He swallowed thickly. “O-Of course.”
And so, you took his hand and led him to the ballroom floor.
Sebek was stiff at first, like he was concentrating too hard on being perfect, but as the music swelled, he relaxed into the rhythm, his movements smoother, more natural.
And as he guided you across the floor, one hand firm at your waist, the other clasping yours, Sebek couldn’t help but stare.
You were laughing softly, still tipsy, the golden chandeliers casting a warm glow on your skin. The silk of your gown shimmered as you moved, and your smile—
Gods. Your smile.
Sebek knew, without a doubt, that he would do anything to keep it on your face.
And you?
You had no idea.
Because to you, this was just a dance.
But to Sebek—
You looked like a dream come true.
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It was finally here. The moment where, according to the absolute literary war crime that was this novel, you were supposed to get poisoned, collapse dramatically, and set off a chain reaction that would end with Sebek exiling himself like a tragic Shakespearean protagonist.
Except this time?
You knew it was coming.
And you were about to flip the script so hard the author would feel it in whatever dimension they were in.
The heroine, as predictable as ever, had invited you to yet another tea party—probably hoping that by the time the poison kicked in, she'd have a perfect view of your untimely demise. You, of course, had accepted with a sweet smile and a mind full of schemes.
Now, seated at a pristine garden table with floral arrangements worth more than some small villages, you watched as she made her move. It was almost laughable how obvious she was. Her eyes flickered towards the maid as your tea was poured, the subtle anticipation in her expression so transparent you were honestly a little embarrassed for her.
You daintily lifted the cup, swirling the tea, inhaling its floral scent. Then, you pretended to take a sip.
Then, you threw yourself into the most dramatic, gut-wrenching, Oscar-worthy performance of your life.
Your body convulsed. Your hand flew to your throat. You gasped, choked, wheezed like a dying fish, and flung your arms out as if desperately grasping at the heavens themselves. You knocked over a plate. A fork clattered to the ground. A lesser noble screamed.
And then, with the grace of a Victorian woman in a corset two sizes too small, you collapsed onto the ground, limbs twitching for good measure.
Chaos erupted.
Ladies shrieked. Servants scrambled. One elderly duke fainted in the background. Even you were impressed. If this world had award shows, you would’ve already been giving an acceptance speech.
And then.
You heard it.
A chair screeching against stone. The heavy, unmistakable clang of armor.
Oh.
Oh, no.
You had made a critical miscalculation.
Sebek.
Sebek, who had been standing behind you the entire time. Sebek, who had just witnessed his charge collapse in agony.
Sebek, who was now standing over the heroine with his sword at her throat.
The entire tea party came to a screeching halt.
The heroine was frozen in terror, because Sebek wasn’t just angry—he was absolutely seething. His hands were steady, his grip unwavering, but the rage in his eyes? The barely-restrained fury crackling in the air around him? That was the look of a man seconds away from turning this entire tea party into a medieval execution.
“How dare you,” Sebek growled, his voice low and deadly, “I swear upon my honor—you will not leave this garden alive.”
You were so close to victory. So close. But no. No, Sebek had to go and initiate an actual murder.
The heroine, pale as a ghost, opened her mouth—probably to sob out some terrible excuse—but Sebek applied just the tiniest bit of pressure with his blade. A thin line of blood beaded at her neck.
The heroine whimpered.
Sebek narrowed his eyes.
Oh, he was fully committed to this.
Then, from your position on the ground, you made a small choking noise.
Sebek snapped around so fast he nearly decapitated her anyway.
His fury instantly shifted into sheer, unfiltered panic.
“My lady—!” He abandoned the heroine entirely, dropping to his knees and scooping you up into his arms as if you were seconds from death. "Stay with me!" His voice wavered, as if sheer willpower alone could force you to keep breathing. "You will not die here, I swear it!"
Okay. Maybe you should have accounted for this.
Before you could get a word in, Sebek scooped you up like a sack of potatoes and booked it inside.
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The moment he deposited you onto a chaise lounge like a damsel in distress, you sat up and gave him your best sheepish grin.
“Sebek, I—”
But Sebek did not look relieved.
Sebek looked furious.
"You mean to tell me," he began, his voice escalating, "THAT WAS A LIE?!"
You winced. “Sebek, I—”
"You were NEVER in danger?! NEVER TRULY POISONED?!" His entire body was vibrating. "YOU—"
His voice kept rising.
He was pacing now, movements erratic, his heavy boots thudding against the floor. His breathing was uneven. His hands were shaking.
Gods. Gods, you felt bad.
Before he could work himself into an early grave, you grabbed his face and pulled him close.
"Sebek," you said firmly. "Breathe."
His breath hitched.
You could feel the tension in his jaw, the way his entire being was still radiating panic and betrayal.
Slowly, his breathing evened out. His hands, still clenched at his sides, relaxed.
"I'm sorry," you murmured, thumbs brushing lightly against his cheeks. "I should have told you."
Sebek swallowed hard, staring at you like he had just walked through hell itself.
"I could never bear to lose you." His voice was raw, barely above a whisper.
And then, as if exhaling the weight of the entire world, he bowed his head slightly and said, “Forgive me for my insolence.”
Before you could even process what that meant—
His lips were on yours.
Soft, hesitant, yet utterly consuming.
It lasted one perfect moment—
And then reality kicked in.
Sebek stiffened. His eyes snapped open.
"I— I HAVE OVERSTEPPED— I APOLOGIZE—"
And then.
Sebek fled.
Full-speed.
Out the door.
Down the hall.
Possibly into another plane of existence.
You sat there, dazed, stunned, blushing so hard you were about to burst into flames.
-
You were losing your mind.
Malleus, on the other hand, was having the time of his life.
He sat there, sipping his tea with the serene patience of a man who had definitely seen this coming, while you paced back and forth in front of him, unraveling like a badly-knitted sweater.
"It was just stress!" you declared, throwing your hands in the air. "Right? I mean, high emotions, near-death experience, classic knightly panic—textbook impulse decision!"
Malleus hummed, his expression one of deep, profound amusement. "Oh?"
You pointed at him like you had just presented irrefutable evidence in a murder trial. "YES. Right?! That has to be it!"
Malleus took a slow sip of his tea. "Or…"
You froze.
Malleus paused dramatically—like he was a host on some medieval reality show about to drop a major plot twist—then said, "Perhaps he has feelings for you."
You made a noise. A noise that had never existed before, somewhere between a gasp, a wheeze, and the sound of a tea kettle violently exploding.
Malleus raised an eyebrow, watching as your soul actively left your body.
"That’s—" You flailed. Actually flailed. "That’s absurd!"
Malleus nodded sagely. "Yes. Very absurd." He took another sip of tea, his tone so dry you nearly threw something at him.
You began pacing again, hands on your head, thoughts spiraling into the abyss.
"Maybe—maybe he thinks he has feelings for me," you reasoned, grasping at straws like your life depended on it. "But really, it’s just—devotion! Yes! Classic knightly devotion! It’s not romantic, it’s duty! He admires me, respects me, honors me—"
"—Kissed you."
You choked.
Malleus was smirking now. He was actually enjoying this.
"Okay, but," you continued, desperately trying to dig yourself out of the emotional pit you had fallen into, "what if—what if it was just a slip-up? A moment of weakness? What if he didn’t mean it—?"
Malleus tilted his head. "Then why did he run away? Why did he not apologize?"
You stopped dead in your tracks.
Oh.
Oh, shit.
Because he did run away. Full speed. Maximum acceleration. Like a man who had just realized what he had done and could not face the consequences.
Your hands slowly lowered from your head.
Malleus set his teacup down with a soft clink. "I would say that is not the behavior of a man who does not have feelings for someone."
You sat down in the nearest chair, staring into the void.
Malleus observed you with quiet satisfaction.
The way you were actively short-circuiting before his eyes? The absolute catastrophic mental gymnastics you were performing to deny the obvious?
Oh, yes.
This was better than theater.
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Meanwhile, Sebek was also suffering.
And Lilia was having the best day of his life.
Sebek was pacing, marching back and forth across the room like he was preparing for battle, arms gesturing wildly as he ranted to no one in particular.
"I—I do not—I cannot—" His voice cracked slightly before he squared his shoulders, forcing himself into a state of denial so powerful it could deflect magic. "IT WAS MERELY A MOMENT OF TEMPORARY EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY!"
Lilia, sitting cross-legged on the sofa, was vibrating. His hands were clasped in front of his mouth, his entire body shaking as he barely contained his laughter. His eyes gleamed with pure, unfiltered joy.
"Ah, young love," he sighed dramatically, swaying slightly as if overcome by emotion. "So passionate! So tumultuous!" He clutched his chest. "So full of suffering!"
Sebek whirled around, offended to his very core.
"It is NOT love!" he practically roared, and Silver, who had been trying to stay calm, rubbed his temples like a tired therapist dealing with a particularly stubborn client.
"Sebek," Silver said, voice steady, soothing, rational. "You kissed her."
Sebek's eye twitched.
"It was an accident!"
Silver raised an eyebrow. "How do you accidentally kiss someone?"
Sebek flailed. "IT WAS THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT!"
"Mmhm~" Lilia hummed, practically swaying with delight.
Sebek turned to him, pointing like he was about to declare war. "STOP—STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!"
"Like what?" Lilia grinned. "Like I just witnessed the most entertaining thing to happen in centuries?"
"YES!"
Lilia cackled.
Sebek turned back to Silver, desperate for support, but Silver was already shaking his head.
"Sebek," Silver said patiently. "You’re in love."
Sebek physically recoiled. His entire soul left his body for a second before it returned, but not before his brain short-circuited.
"NO!"
"Yes," Silver said simply.
"Preposterous!" Sebek thundered, arms flailing again. "I am a knight! Her protector! I have sworn my loyalty to her! I would give my LIFE for her—!"
"Yes," Silver interrupted, nodding. "Because you love her."
Sebek froze.
His mouth opened. Then closed.
Then opened again.
Nothing came out.
Lilia, who was practically incandescent with joy, clasped his hands together and leaned in, eyes twinkling with amusement.
"Oh my," Lilia purred. "He's realizing it."
Sebek visibly malfunctioned.
His arms tensed, his jaw clenched, his brain clearly trying to override the obvious conclusion with pure willpower alone.
And then, because he had absolutely no idea what to do with himself—
Sebek turned on his heel and sprinted out of the room at full speed.
Lilia howled with laughter, throwing himself back onto the couch.
Silver simply sighed, rubbing his temples again. "You know he's going to deny this for at least another week, right?"
"Oh, let him struggle~" Lilia giggled, delighted beyond words. "This is better than theater."
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The heroine was losing her goddamn mind.
This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. She was the main character. She was supposed to triumph over adversity! She was supposed to defeat her rival, claim her rightful place at Malleus’s side, and bask in the admiration of high society as they all realized how special and wonderful she was!
And yet—
You.
You, the person who was supposed to be her greatest adversary, her foil, her dramatic counterpart—
Did. Not. Care.
Every time she tried to one-up you, every time she schemed and plotted and prepared some devastating social maneuver to put you in your place—
You ignored her.
Not even with thinly veiled contempt. Not with cold, calculated disdain. No.
You ignored her like you would ignore a particularly unimpressive rock on the side of the road.
Like a piece of furniture. Like she was a background character in her own goddamn story.
She had thrown everything at you.
She had made subtle barbs about your outfits—Oh, what a… bold choice of color. Not everyone could pull that off.
You had simply nodded and thanked her before returning to making googly eyes at your knight.
She had gone out of her way to outshine you at every event—grander gowns, more dramatic entrances, carefully curated conversations that should have drawn everyone’s attention to her.
You?
You barely registered that she was there.
She had even dyed her own knight’s hair green for fuck’s sake.
And you had just—
Ignored it.
You hadn’t even looked surprised. No scandalized gasp, no pointed glances, no passive-aggressive remark about imitation being the sincerest form of flattery.
Nothing.
The absolute indifference nearly sent her into a breakdown right then and there.
But still—still—she had held out hope.
Because there was one final, tried-and-true method to defeat a villainess.
Poison.
A noblewoman’s tea party. A carefully laced cup. A gasp, a choke, a dramatic collapse.
It was foolproof.
Except—
Except you had pretended to drink it.
She hadn’t even noticed at first. She had simply sipped her tea, waiting for your inevitable demise—only to watch you pull off an Oscar worthy performance.
And now?
Now the entirety of high society hated her.
Not because they actually cared about you, no—
But because attempting to poison someone at a social gathering was just so terribly gauche.
It was uncivilized. It was desperate. It was cringe.
And worse?
She had failed.
One noblewoman had sighed, shaking her head. “Poisoning your rival? How utterly common. If she were going to do it, the least she could’ve done was be subtle.”
Another had tsked, “Imagine—spending all that effort trying to destroy someone only for them to sit back and make googly eyes at their knight instead.”
That one nearly made her explode.
Because that? That was the worst part.
Through all of this, you weren’t even fighting back.
You weren’t scheming. You weren’t plotting revenge. You weren’t even paying attention to her anymore.
No.
You were too busy pining over Sebek.
At first, she thought it was coincidence. A weird little side note in this battle.
But no.
She saw it everywhere now.
You, brushing your hand against his as he held a door open for you. You, laughing at something he said in that ridiculous, overly loud voice. You, looking at him like he was the most precious thing in existence while he continued to act like a knight-shaped golden retriever with too many feelings.
It was infuriating.
And now, after everything, after all the time and energy and sanity she had lost trying to make you engage, she woke up one morning and realized—
She had lost.
Not in some grand, cinematic battle of wits. Not in an explosive confrontation.
No.
She had lost in the most humiliating way possible.
Because you never even considered her a threat to begin with.
She had spent all this time clawing her way to the top of a rivalry that only existed in her own head.
And the person she had chosen as her nemesis had treated her with the same level of importance as a salad garnish.
It was over.
She was done.
She picked up a pen, wrote a letter, and signed it with the exhausted resignation of a woman who had fully accepted defeat.
Lady,
I give up. I’m leaving. Enjoy your ridiculous romance with your ridiculous knight.
—Heroine
Then, without any fanfare, she packed her things, walked out of her estate, and left the country.
And you?
You didn’t even notice until a servant handed you the letter over breakfast.
You blinked at it, took a bite of toast, and read the whole thing while casually sipping your tea.
Then you folded it neatly, set it aside, and promptly forgot about it.
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Sebek Zigvolt was avoiding you.
Not in the dramatic, storming-off, I-shall-never-speak-to-you-again way that some lovesick noble might after a scandalous incident at a ball. No, that would have been too easy.
Instead, he had apparently decided that the most rational way to handle his predicament was to maintain a perfect six-foot gap between the two of you at all times.
Like some sort of ridiculous, self-imposed restraining order.
You noticed it immediately, of course, because how could you not?
The first morning, you stepped into the drawing room, still slightly groggy from waking up, and found Sebek already there, standing so rigidly that he looked like he had been installed into the floorboards.
“Good morning, Sebek.”
Sebek, a man who had never once in his life failed to respond to you immediately, took a full three seconds to react, his head snapping toward you like a marionette whose strings had been yanked too hard.
“MY LADY!” he barked, far too loud for this early in the morning. “GOOD MORNING TO YOU AS WELL!”
Then, before you could say another word, he pivoted sharply and took three steps back.
Three big, deliberate, backward steps.
And then?
He stared past you.
Not at you. Past you.
Like he had suddenly developed an intense fascination with the wall.
And this? This continued.
For three. Entire. Days.
At breakfast, he sat exactly six feet away from your chair and stabbed his eggs with the precision and fury of a man attempting to exorcise a demon from his plate.
At social events, he positioned himself like some tragically lovesick ghost, haunting the edge of the room with a tormented expression, still very much guarding you but now also acting like being within arm’s reach might cause him to spontaneously combust.
Even in casual conversations, if you took a step forward?
Sebek took a step back.
And the worst part?
He was so obvious about it.
Like, if he was actually trying to be subtle, you could at least pretend it wasn’t happening. But no, this man was out here moving like an NPC whose pathfinding AI was breaking.
By the third day, you had reached your limit.
You had tolerated his weird little knightly existential crisis long enough.
So, that morning, when you saw him standing—once again—exactly six feet away, rigid as a lamppost, pointedly pretending that the tree outside the window was the most interesting thing he had ever seen in his life, you snapped.
“Sebek.”
No response.
“Sebek.”
Nothing.
You took a step forward.
Sebek immediately took a step back.
You took another step.
Sebek tried to escape.
Absolutely not.
With all the swiftness of a person completely done with this nonsense, you closed the gap, stepping right into his space, and before he could even think about scrambling backward like some flustered fawn, you grabbed his face and squished his stupid, handsome, stubborn cheeks between your hands.
Sebek made an absolutely incomprehensible noise.
“W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! THIS IS HIGHLY—!!”
He was spluttering. Stammering. Eyes darting around wildly like he was searching for an escape route despite the fact that you were holding his actual face.
“Sebek,” you said, exasperated, thumbs pressing into his cheeks as he failed spectacularly to regain any of his usual knightly composure. “Do you like me?”
Sebek, in his infinite, ridiculous wisdom, chose the absolute worst possible response.
“I—! I AM YOUR KNIGHT! TO ENTERTAIN SUCH FRIVOLITIES WOULD BE A DERELECTION OF DUTY!”
You closed your eyes, took a deep breath, and then, with the patience of someone trying to explain basic math to a particularly dense brick wall, you groaned, “Sebek, we are not in a play. Do you like me or not!?”
Sebek made a noise somewhere between a strangled honk and a dying animal.
His entire face turned so red that for a moment, you were genuinely concerned that he might be about to pass out.
Then—
He nodded.
It was tiny, barely perceptible, like he was afraid saying it too loudly would cause the heavens to smite him on the spot, but it was there.
And that was all you needed.
Before he could start raving about duty or oaths or whatever dramatic monologue he was preparing, you surged forward and kissed him.
Sebek froze.
Completely, entirely, utterly still.
For half a second, you worried that you had broken him.
But then—
Sebek kissed you back.
With the fervor of a man who had been waiting his entire life for this exact moment.
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It took thirty full minutes to convince Sebek that you were, in fact, not in a tragic, forbidden love story.
Ten minutes of him pacing, ranting about duty and propriety, gripping the air like an overdramatic stage actor monologuing in the rain.
Thirty minutes of you, standing there, patiently waiting for his brain to catch up to reality.
"Sebek," you said for the fifteenth time, arms crossed, exasperated but fond. "We are not in a Shakespearean tragedy."
Sebek opened his mouth to argue, paused, frowned, then slowly closed it.
You could see the war happening inside him. His knightly instincts were screaming about honor and responsibility, while the part of him that had just kissed you—twice now—was standing in the corner, sweating profusely.
He inhaled deeply, squared his shoulders, and nodded.
"...Very well," he said, stiffly, as if forcing himself to accept that the universe had, in fact, allowed him to be happy.
You smirked and reached for his hand. "Great. Now come on, we’re late."
Sebek made a dying noise when you intertwined your fingers with his.
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When you arrived, Malleus, Lilia, and Silver were already gathered in the garden, basking in the afternoon sun.
The moment you and Sebek showed up—hand in hand—Lilia's entire face lit up.
"Ah-ha!" Lilia cried, delighted, spinning toward the others with a mischievous flourish. "Pay up!"
Malleus sighed, deeply, as if betrayed by fate itself. Silver grunted, reaching into his pocket.
And then, right in front of you, the two of them handed Lilia actual money.
You blinked. “Wait. What just happened?”
Lilia grinned, tucking his winnings away. “Oh, just a little wager~”
You narrowed your eyes. "What kind of wager?"
Lilia, positively glowing with mischief, said, "I bet that you two would get together sooner rather than later."
Malleus, looking far too composed for someone who had just lost a bet, adjusted his sleeves and said, "I, on the other hand, estimated that it would take at least another year."
Silver sighed. "I thought it’d take two."
You gawked. "YOU WERE TAKING BETS ON THIS?!"
Sebek was mortified.
"YOU GAMBLED ON OUR HONOR?!" he thundered, appalled, offended, visibly vibrating.
Lilia cackled. “Oh, relax, dear boy! I was simply invested in your happiness!"
Sebek looked like he wanted to die.
So, naturally, you turned toward him, leaned in, and kissed him on the cheek.
Sebek stopped yelling immediately.
You could physically see the protest die in his throat. His entire body locked up, his ears turned red, and his eyes darted away as if you had just knocked the ability to argue right out of him.
Malleus, entirely too amused, hummed. “Curious. That seems to be an effective method of silencing him.”
Lilia beamed. “Oh, I love this development.”
Silver, utterly exhausted, rubbed his temple. "I don't even know why I bother at this point."
You just laughed, perfectly content, sitting beside your knight and the people you loved.
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Masterlist
Can't believe this is the 15th part already!
1K notes · View notes
yokumirumerafan · 4 months ago
Text
MHA boys x y/n (if y/n accidentally sent a nude to them)
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AHAHHAHAHAH I wanna throw my eyes out in the garbage after this T^T
💥 Katsuki Bakugo
🔴 Reaction: His phone nearly combusts in his hands when he opens the message, his entire face turning redder than his explosions. He was just chilling when—BAM—your completely nude picture pops up on his screen.
You immediately send, “OMG WRONG PIC I’M SO SORRY”
But this is Bakugo, and instead of responding normally, you get:
"THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WRONG PIC?!?? WHO WAS IT FOR THEN, HAH?!???"
💥 Aftermath: He refuses to delete the pic immediately, not because he’s a perv (or so he claims), but because, "It’s my fuckin’ right as your boyfriend to have it now." He still won’t look you in the eyes for a solid 48 hours, though.
🧊 Shoto Todoroki
🔵 Reaction: Blinks once. Blinks twice. The gears in his brain are grinding to a halt. He was in the middle of drinking tea, and now he’s frozen in place like a statue. The steam from his tea is the only thing moving in the room.
You: "OMG SHOTO I’M SO SORRY I MEANT TO SEND A MEME WTF"
Him: "…This is not a meme."
He just stares at his screen for a full minute before finally typing: "I see. Do you want me to delete it, or would you like to discuss this in person?" 😳
🔵 Aftermath: Later, when you’re hiding your face in embarrassment, he just sips his tea and says: "I wouldn’t mind receiving more by accident."
🐙 Eijiro Kirishima
🔴 Reaction: This man CHOKES ON AIR. Like, literally starts coughing and nearly dies. His hands are shaking, his phone almost falls out of his grip.
You: "KIRI I’M SO SORRY WRONG PIC WRONG PIC"
Him: "BABE. BABE I’M AT THE GYM."
He’s literally bench pressing, and when he sees your pic, he drops the weights in shock. Every dude in the gym turns to look at him, and he just nervously laughs while turning into a tomato.
🐙 Aftermath: He eventually recovers, but the next time you see him, he’s so flustered. "I mean, if you ever wanna, uh, send the right one… y’know, for me…" 😳
💚 Izuku Midoriya
🟢 Reaction: OH GOD HELP HIM. He was just taking hero notes when he got your message, and now? HIS SOUL LEFT HIS BODY. He gasps so loud that his mom knocks on his door like “Izuku?? Are you okay??”
You: "OMG WRONG PICTURE DEKU I’M GONNA JUMP OFF A CLIFF"
Him: "WAIT DON’T JUMP I’M ALSO GONNA DIE FROM THIS HELP—"
HE IS PANICKING. His brain is a 404 ERROR. His freckles are brighter than ever. He’s stuttering, sweating, AND shaking.
🟢 Aftermath: He avoids eye contact for a week. When you finally corner him, he just whispers: "I saved it before I realized… should I delete it? Do you—do you want me to keep it?" 😳
🔥 Dabi
🔵 Reaction: He opens it, stares for two seconds, then smirks like the smug bastard he is. "Oh? Well, well, well. Looks like Christmas came early for me."
You: "DABI. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT."
Him: "Uh-huh. Sure. Who was it meant for then?" 😏
If you tell him it was meant for nobody, he just laughs and texts back: "Wanna make it not an accident? I’m free tonight."
🔥 Aftermath: He will never let you live this down. You will be reminded every day about it. You’ll walk into the room, and he’ll just casually say, “Ah, my personal model has arrived.” 😏
💜 Shigaraki Tomura
🔴 Reaction: He drops his phone. It just thuds onto the floor while he stares into space, reconsidering life itself.
You: "OMG I’M SO SORRY WRONG PICTURE."
Him: "…The fuck am I supposed to do with this information."
He sits there, looking at his phone like it personally offended him. His hands are hovering over the screen like he’s too scared to touch it.
💜 Aftermath: "You’re gonna corrupt me." That’s what he tells you, and then later, out of nowhere, he just goes, "So… you got any more accidents in you?" 😏
💚 Tamaki Amajiki
🔵 Reaction: IMMEDIATELY THROWS HIS PHONE ACROSS THE ROOM LIKE IT BURNED HIM. Tamaki.exe has stopped working.
You: "TAMA I’M SO SORRY WRONG PIC OMG PLEASE RESPOND"
Him: "I—I CAN NEVER FACE YOU AGAIN."
He’s literally curled up in a ball, shaking and overheating like a broken laptop. His face is so red it might explode.
🔵 Aftermath: The next time he sees you, he just stares at the ground and mumbles, "I-it was a nice picture… I mean—NO, I DIDN’T MEAN TO SAY THAT, I’M GONNA PASS OUT." 😵
🟡 Mirio Togata
🟡 Reaction: INSTANT GRIN. "Aw, babe, that’s not the cat picture you meant to send, huh?" 😆
You: "MIRIO PLEASE DELETE IT"
Him: "Delete it? But I think it's a work of art." 😏
He does not stop smiling. And not in a pervy way—he just thinks it's hilarious. This man is SO confident that instead of freaking out, he’s teasing you instantly.
🟡 Aftermath: Later, he walks up to you, gives you a kiss, and whispers, "If you ever wanna send another one… maybe on purpose this time?" 😏
🦋 Hawks (Keigo Takami)
🔴 Reaction: Whistles. "Damn, angel, wasn’t expecting that so early in the day." 😏
You: "HAWKS I DIDN’T MEAN TO—"
Him: "No need to explain, babe. Happy accidents exist for a reason." 😌
He’s WAY too smooth about it, texting you back instantly with, "You look gorgeous, by the way." No shame. No embarrassment. Just pure, raw Keigo energy.
🦋 Aftermath: You’re hiding your face in embarrassment, but he’s just living his best life. "Just letting you know, if you ever wanna send another one, I wouldn’t complain. Just saying." 😏
🦾 All Might (Toshinori Yagi - Small Form)
🔵 Reaction: NEARLY DIES. His soul leaves his body. You just killed the Number One Hero.
You: "I’M SO SORRY WRONG PIC!!!"
Him: "OH MY GOODNESS, MY DEAR Y/N, I—I MUST ERASE THIS FROM MY MEMORY AT ONCE." 😱
He’s sweating bullets, looking around like the police are about to break down his door.
🦾 Aftermath: HE NEVER MENTIONS IT AGAIN. Ever. You traumatized him. The man nearly coughed up a lung. 😭
💀 Aizawa Shouta (Eraserhead)
🔵 Reaction: Opens the message. Stares at it. Blinks once. Exhales. Closes his phone.
You: "SHOUTA I’M SO SORRY WRONG PICTURE"
Him: "Hnn. Sure." 😐
Literally does not react for a solid five minutes. You are panicking, but he’s just sitting there like it’s a normal Tuesday.
💀 Aftermath: That night, he just casually mutters, "Next time, don’t send it by accident." And then he goes to sleep like he didn’t just end your entire existence. 😭
👁️ Shinsou Hitoshi
🟣 Reaction: Raises an eyebrow. "Oh?"
You: "HITOSHI WRONG PIC OMG"
Him: "Damn. You sure? I wouldn’t mind if it wasn’t a mistake." 😏
HE’S SO CALM ABOUT IT. He texts you back way too smoothly, and now you’re just screaming into your pillow.
🟣 Aftermath: The next time you see him, he just leans in and whispers, "No take-backs, kitten." 😏
🐙 Hanta Sero
⚫ Reaction: SPITS OUT HIS DRINK.
You: "OMG SERO IGNORE THAT PLS."
Him: "HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO IGNORE IT WHEN MY EYES HAVE BEEN BLESSED???" 😳
He physically collapses onto his bed, kicking his feet, blushing, and screaming into a pillow. This man is LOSING IT.
⚫ Aftermath: He teases you about it for the next three years. "Hey babe, remember that time you—" "SERO. SHUT UP." 😭
⚡ Denki Kaminari
🟡 Reaction: "OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GODDDDDD." Brain fried. Man is straight-up malfunctioning.
You: "DENKI I SWEAR WRONG PICTURE"
Him: "DO IT AGAIN THO???" 😳
He is so flustered but also so down bad. He’s grinning like an idiot, kicking his feet, and combusting all at once.
⚡ Aftermath: You will never hear the end of it. "Babe, you got any more accidents planned?" 😏
👓 Iida Tenya
🔵 Reaction: PHONE SLIPS OUT OF HIS HANDS. SCREEN GOES BLACK. He is HORRIFIED.
You: "IIDA I’M SO SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO—"
Him: "Y/N. THIS IS HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE. HOWEVER—" he clears his throat "I appreciate the trust you have placed in me." 😳
👓 Aftermath: Later, he adjusts his glasses nervously and mumbles, "I-I did not delete it yet… Should I? Or… do you want me to… keep it…?" 😳
🐦 Tokoyami Fumikage
⚫ Reaction: IMMEDIATE EXISTENTIAL CRISIS. "…" closes phone. "…" takes deep breath.
You: "TOKO I’M SO SORRY—"
Him: "…" whispers to Dark Shadow "…What do I do?" 😨
Dark Shadow: "ASK FOR MORE, DUMBASS." 😈
⚫ Aftermath: He avoids you for days until Dark Shadow starts teasing him about it in front of you. "Toko, tell Y/N what you thought about the picture!" 😈 "DARK SHADOW, I SWEAR TO THE GODS—" 😳
🧊 Neito Monoma
🔵 Reaction: "Ah-ha! So even you make mistakes! How utterly humiliating for you!" 😏
You: "MONOMA I’M GONNA KILL YOU—"
Him: "Oh, don’t be mad. If anything, I’d say your form was… quite exquisite." 😌
🧊 Aftermath: HE HOLDS IT OVER YOUR HEAD FOREVER. "Remember that one time you tried to seduce me by accident? Ah, classic Y/N. Simply tragic." 😭
🕶️ Yuga Aoyama
💛 Reaction: "Ohoho~! My, my, mon amour, how scandalous!"
You: "DELETE IT, SPARKLE BOY."
Him: "But Y/N! Such beauty deserves to be appreciated!"
💛 Aftermath: He strikes a dramatic pose and says, "Next time, let me prepare a photoshoot for you~!" 😌
🌪️ Inasa Yoarashi
🟥 Reaction: "OOOOOH MY GOOOOOD—" PROCEEDS TO YELL SO LOUDLY THE WHOLE CITY HEARS IT.
You: "INASA STOP SCREAMING OMG."
Him: "I’M TRYING BUT MY BRAIN CAN’T HANDLE THIS KIND OF SURPRISE, Y/N!!!!" 😳
🌪️ Aftermath: He is SO dramatic. He acts like he was personally attacked by your beauty. "I WASN’T READY FOR SUCH PERFECTION, Y/N, HAVE MERCY ON ME." 😭
🟢 Sir Nighteye
🟢 Reaction: Looks at phone. Adjusts glasses. Takes a deep breath.
You: "SIR NIGHTEYE IT WAS A MISTAKE—"
Him: "Hmm. A rare mistake from you. How fascinating."
🟢 Aftermath: He literally does not react. But later, he smirks and says, "If I foresaw that happening again, I wouldn’t try to stop it." 😏
🟥 Shiketsu High’s Meatball Man: Seiji Shishikura
🔴 Reaction: Goes absolutely STILL. Stares at his phone like it just committed a crime.
You: "OMG SEIJI DELETE IT—"
Him: "…Distasteful. Utterly improper. Completely indecent." 😐
You: "I KNOW, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT—"
Him: "However…" clears throat "Your form is quite… refined." 😳
🔴 Aftermath: This man acts like he’s above it all, but his ears are bright red for WEEKS. Every time he looks at you, he just adjusts his tie unnecessarily and avoids eye contact. 😩
And if someone even jokes about it, he immediately snaps, "WE SHALL NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN." 😤
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