#my credentials are that i was raised in an adjacent relgion around the same time and im actively working on pulling things apart

[noblest-roman-of-them-all]

Of these two? I would lean toward Janus.

This one is a bit tricky to me, because I stand by that of all the Sides it's Patton who holds the most guilt and even religious trauma when it comes to the impact religion itself had on c!Thomas.

When it comes to these two, I would argue that Janus does hold some guilt, but not in the expected way like Patton does. Rather his guilt is directly connected to his role in Thomas's life. He is meant to be a protector to Thomas, his "inner coach with the one goal of self preservation in mind".

I will say, I was raised Baptist, not Catholic, but there are overlapping themes of self sacrifice in both sects. The idea of sacrificing time to God/the church, even to the point of exhaustion is seen as a good thing in Christianity, and it takes years to unlearn, years to remember that it is okay to take time to rest. And it's in areas like this where I think Janus might hold some guilt. Because he was unable to protect Thomas from these overly self sacrificing ideas that can bring genuine harm.

It's in incredibly uncomfortable to admit that there are things that were unhealthy or damaging even that you learned in the church, especially when you were also taught that these things were honorable. I think that's the discomfort and guilt Janus holds, because he's not having to help Thomas navigate and unlearn some of these things and he sees how hard that it is reflected in Patton and his uncertainty and hesitancy around those types of topics.

Janus may understand the importance of deconstructing those harmful habits, but that doesn't make him immune to the discomfort of Thomas and Patton as he nudges them along. And I think he feels a guilty for being the one to, in some way, be causing this discomfort. He is kind of asking them to let go of what they were taught would keep them safe, trying to show them that they can be safe in faith without the more harmful aspects of it.

Remus holds his religious bitterness and anger. The thing about being in the church is you cannot be mad at the church or at God, if you are then you're a backslidden Christian who needs to ask God for forgiveness and set you on the right track. Janus might be critical of religion, but he does so without the anger or bitterness. Remus holds a lot of what Roman and by extension Thomas was not allowed to hold onto.

So when your a little kid in Sunday school and maybe reprimanded for asking an icky question or drawing something the teacher didn't like on the lesson hand out and your not allowed to be upset about it, where does that go? I think it went to Remus.

I'm not saying that Remus himself is bitter at anyone for this, but that he is holding onto the bitterness that Thomas himself cannot hold or process yet. He holds the bitterness of little Thomas who was shut down for asking weird questions, and he does so without feeling badly about it. Remus is all about pushing boundaries and doing so unapologetically.

Janus is Self Preservation, and when you're raised to believe that self sacrifice is the barest bones of religious adherence, that it is required to be a good Christian, to be a useful servant to God, that's when things can get difficult. That's where confusion and guilt come from.

Okay, so I have a bit of a dilemma. I am currently working on my art history project and in my art history project, I am comparing and contrasting the religious imagery in Sanders Sides to the religious imagery throughout art history. I just have one tiny little problem... I'm not sure who carries more of C!Thomas's religious guilt, Janus or Remus. The two are littered with religious guilt imagery with Janus's whole motif being an obvious nod to the snake from the Adam and Eve story and Remus's entire existence being because of Thomas's religious guilt, but I'm unsure of who carries more of the religious guilt. So, I'm leaving it up to a poll. Please answer so I can talk about these fuckers in the correct order