#my first oc bday on here!!

[beneathsakurashade]

Mariette's Birthday Bash!!

It's a special day for Mariette ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ (technically their bday was on the 13th but whateves-)

Mari is open for asks and oc interactions!!!

Mari's Bday Bash with last from today!! Aug 17th to Aug 31st!

They hope that you will enjoy their party ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊

dividers by @soulari

(note my followers event is still open!!)

(another note, u guys should totally check out my carrd, /nf)

please dm to be added to my taglist ☾

@moonyasnow

[einsatzzz]

about to start work with a stomach full of sushi (and tofu steak) 😋🍣🥢 thank you for the food @lyingsun 🥹😭💖✨🫶 this is a needed power boost to survive this busy season (delusion mode: i like to imagine this is from takesushi and rio is the one who delivered this to me 🥰🥰🥰)

[neverforgetyou]

[safyresky]

Smile Shots: The Summer Solstice Beach Bash!

[I rewrote the Diteline First Kiss oneshot :3. Enjoy!]

🏹️🩷🩵❄️

“The fair is open!”

The front door slammed open, a hefty breeze blowing down the hall as Dite flew into the kitchen. She landed just behind Jacqueline, the gust of air from her settling wings blowing the sprite’s loose tresses back as she stacked the last dish.

“Nice to see you too, brown eyes.”

“Sorry, I’m just so excited!” With a little squee, Dite hopped in place, pulling Jacqueline into a bone-crushing hug and kissing the top of her head lightly. “Hi blue eyes.”

“Hi!”

The pair smiled at one another, Jacqueline starting and flushing as she realized just how long she’d been staring. She looked away. Dite giggled softly, placing the sprite down.

“I just really love the Summer Fair. And fairs in general! I know they don’t look all too great, but the romantic possibilities are ENDLESS!” Dite was hovering now, her hands clasped together, both feet popping into the air.

She was so excited, Jacqueline could feel her heart (and roots) melting at the sight of it all.

“I know, babe! I know. Do you want to go—”

“YES! DEFINITELY! ABSOLUTELY! That’s why I’m here! Flew right over from home to ask you out to the fair!”

“You flew? Right here? Direct? From home?”

“Yep!”

“From ROME?!”

“Uh-huh! Love knows no bounds, Jacqueline. Besides! We haven’t gone out on a date in like, forever!”

Jacqueline laughed. “Then what the frost was last night’s movie marathon?”

“A date! But not a date out. Besides! Last night was soo long ago!” she dropped her feet, drooping a bit, wings fanning Jacqueline as they kept Dite afloat. She pouted ever so slightly, throwing the back of her hand over her forehead.

“You are so cute it’s not even funny.”

“I learnt from the best!”

Jacqueline flushed darker.

Dite laughed. “I’m not hearing a no.”

“Oh! Of course not! I’d go anywhere with you!”

“Anywhere?”

“Anywhere!”

“The mall.”

“Yep!”

“Hmm. Hell?”

“We’ve visited your mom there countless times!”

“The ends of the Earth?!”

“Would be a delight with you.”

Dite tapped her chin thoughtfully. Her eyes lit up.

“Oh! I got it! Garbage dump.”

Jacqueline's sharp inhale was more than enough for Dite to grin in triumph.

“Really?”

“Yes!”

Jacqueline looked genuinely torn. Grimacing after what looked like a very hard battle of thoughts with herself, she sighed. “For you, yes. But I’d bring nose plugs. And a mask. And maybe like, douse myself in air freshener or something. I know tomato juice works with skunks, but is it the same for garbage stench? Because if it is, we’d have to stock up on that before going anywhere near a literal, actual, garbage dump.”

Dite giggled, hand in front of her mouth. “Well! We’ll stick to the fair today. Sound good?”

“Better than a dump, that’s for sure. Will you win me a prize?”

“I’ll win you ALL the prizes. Or one really big giant huge one! Even if I have to stab a guy to do so. And I will stab if necessary. And slash, and poke, and prod, and hack—”

Her fingers hovered over her charm bracelet as she listed every possible bodily injury she could inflict quickly and easily, poking the corresponding charm as she went.

Jacqueline smiled, turning back to the hall and heading upstairs. I am so in love, yes, yes, yes, she thought, grabbing the baluster and swinging around it, launching herself up the stairs as Dite flew alongside her.

“—and bludgeon, if necessary.”

“I don’t think it’ll come to...any of that, but I’ll keep it in mind. When did you want to go?”

“Oh! Like right now,” Dite landed on the landing, her wings folding back into their heart-shaped resting point. “I’m already dressed to go and everything!”

Stopping at the base of the twirly stairs up to her room, Jacqueline happily took a minute to check Dite out. The goddess spread her arms, gesturing to her outfit. She wore a pink shirt that resembled her usual stola, and a pair of dark denim shorts. She was wearing one of those visor hats, a ribbon keeping it taught against her head, tucked neatly under her ponytail, complete with the heart shaped sunglasses Jacqueline had gotten her. (The moment she’d seen them, she’d thought Dite would love these. She needs them. I need to get them for her. And she had done just that! And, sure enough, Dite loved them. That thought alone gave the sprite a bit of a prideful blush).

“And you look hella good.”

Now it was Dite’s turn to colour. She grinned, hands immediately moving to her cheeks as she flushed hard.

“I—you. Oh, you stop that! I’m all flustered now!”

“You fluster me all the time!” With a satisfied grin, Jacqueline grabbed the railing, heading upstairs. “At least let me return the favour once and a while.”

Giggling, Dite shot up, wings pushing her off the ground and twirling around her as she torpedoed directly up to the third floor. She landed beside Jacqueline right as the sprite hit the landing, wings furling out, hands on her hips. Jacqueline headed to the rooms on the left, Dite following close to keep up with her GRILFRIEND! Which was such a nice thing to finally be able to say and made her grin AGAIN and flush even DARKER in excitement.

Distracted by thoughts of love (a frequent happenstance in Dite’s day to day operations), by the time she floated into Jacqueline’s room (plopping herself gracefully on the bed, legs folded, wings happy to idle once more), Jacqueline was deep in the closet, chucking rejected outfits over her shoulder and out the door, clothes pooling on the floor in front of it.

“No, not this…too professional…not breathable. Ugh, need to refreeze that one…DITE.”

“No need to shout! I’m right here.”

Jacqueline poked her head out of the closet, blinking. “Oh! You’re closer than I thought. Great! I don’t know what to wear.” She moaned, quite over-the-top, as she dragged her fingers down her face.

Dite giggled. “How about a sundress? Ou! The blue one!”

Jacqueline straightened, looking at Dite with a sly smile. “You’re gonna have to be more specific.”

“Hehe. It’s got a square, lowish neckline! White bodice, with a blue striped skirt that does that poof thing you like. It’s very fifties, very pin-up.”

“Oh!” she disappeared into the closet, coming back out with the exact dress Dite had described. “This one?”

“Yep! That’s the one! And don’t forget a hat! We’re in the south, it’s the start of the summer, and you know how your aunt is. Plus, your healthy layer of ice won’t be around while I’m around and you get so cranky when the top of your head is too hot.”

Jacqueline pouted, grabbing a light blue and white sunhat out of her closet regardless. “I’m not that bad.”

“Yes you are. You don’t like the heat at all! It’s a good thing you don’t burn easily, that’d be unbearable~!” Feigning a swoon, Dite fell back on the bed, placing a hand on her forehead.

Grinning, Jacqueline ran for the bed and jumped, finding herself right in Dite’s arms as the goddess grabbed her midair and flipped them, Jacqueline landing face up on the bed.

“Awh, boo. I thought I had you that time!”

“Unfortunately for you, my reflexes are TOO FAST and my dramatics are not as distracting as yours! I have high perception.”

Jacqueline grinned, the big ear-to-ear grin that Dite was so very fond of. “Well. I am very trapped and ready to go. Shall we? I want a big plushy. I’m talking. HUGE.” She wiggled her arms out from under Dite, raising them up and spreading them very far apart. “GIGANTIC HUMONGOUS.”

Dite laughed, ducking out of the way of Jacqueline’s flailing arms. “I will get you your plushy! Don’t you worry your little head off, blue eyes.” The goddess booped Jacqueline’s nose, pleased as the flush returned. Hehe! We’re even, she thought, sliding off the bed and tucking one hand under Jacqueline's back, the other one weaving behind her knees.

“Are we flying? Or shall I poof us both—oh! Whoa! Okay! That answers that question!”

Jacqueline flailed, grabbing her hat as Dite scooped her into her arms bridal style. She wove through the bedroom, hopped over the couch in the sitting room, and with a running start she flew out the balcony doors (Jacqueline quickly magic-ing them open), heading right for the Southern Province.

🏹️🩷🩵❄️

The fair itself was usually open year-round. As Spring gave way to Summer, it would shut down, reopening on the Summer Solstice to kick off Summer’s Summer Solstice Beach Bash.

At least, that was the tradition.

The truth of the matter was this: Summer was the least traditional of the seasons and used the solstice as more of a deadline, so to speak. If the weather was nicer prior to the solstice and the refresh work was done before then and if she was “feelin’ it” (direct quote), Summer would usually open the fairground early.

That’s (part of) what made the Summer Fair so special!

The coasters and rides were spruced up, new ones taking up residence where old ones used to reside. (Brought down after they’d run their course, but never gone for long! They’d come back in a year or two or five newly improved!)

Magibeans came from all over the country (and yes, the world too), to fill the Food Pavilion with dishes old and new, bringing local specialties from near and afar for the people of Crystal Springs to try en masse: entrées and desserts, snacks and other goodies—and lots of fried things. There was no shortage of deep fried anything thanks to Dinah’s Deep-Fried Delights. (Sponsors of that particular portion of the event, Dinah’s slogan had always been we’ll deep fry anything! And that’s exactly what they did and why they’d been in business for many, many centuries).

The games were reset and refreshed, pavilions renovated and reopened, booths moved and shifted, attractions added and taken out, and once all the work was complete—on top of essential maintenance, of course—the fair would reopen with a BANG (quite literally. The south had a penchant for pyrotechnics, after all) and the Summer Solstice Beach Bash would begin in earnest, leading up to the Solstice itself, the day celebrated with a beachside party that spanned the entire coast of the province.

Dite landed right in front of the tall, waving palm trees that bordered the entrance to the fairgrounds. Boardwalk stretched ahead of them, paths twisting up and down the foothills and off to the beach, leading to rides and games and all sorts of fairground delights. She placed Jacqueline down gently, the people flocking in greeting the Legates politely while giving Dite's wings a wide berth.

Dite wished them well in love and life, the magibeans delighted to get the blessing of Cupid’s Legate. It had been an interesting thing she’d discovered when her Legate-y career had begun, and she’d nearly poked an eye or two out running into magibeans on the job who were literally seeking her out FOR a blessing! She’d quickly adjusted, wishing them well before they could interrupt her work, which had curbed the casualties quite a bit.

She laughed behind her hand as Jacqueline straightened her dress, placing her hat on her head as kids hopped around her, practically demanding snow. Pulling her shades down her nose and staring down at the kids in amused unamusement, she rested her hands on her hips.

“Do you know how much trouble I’d be in if I made it snow right here, right now?”

The kids laughed harder, shaking their heads and stomping their feet in excitement.

“Unbelievable!” And, pushing her shades back up her nose with a finger, she flicked her hand, fluffy clouds brewing above the kids. Snow began to fall right on top of them.

They squealed in excitement, jumping around and hopping about as snowflakes landed on their hats.

“I’m so sorry, Legate Frost, they—”

Jacqueline laughed. “Don’t even worry about it!” Waving her hand, a blanket of snow formed in thin air and fell around (and on top of!) them, the kids wasting no time in making snowballs and throwing them at one another. She winked. “I get that a lot.”

Laughing as Dite grabbed the sprite’s hand and whisked her towards the entrance, the guardian thanked her, waving them off. Dangling behind Dite, Jacqueline returned the gesture in kind as more kids threw themselves into the snow pile, much to the goddess’s delight.

“I love watching you work.”

“And I think it’s very sweet that you give every single one of them your blessing.”

“Awh, well, you know me! I love love.”

Jacqueline smiled. “Yeah you do. Sorry, I forgot to ask—all good to go? Wings okay?”

Frowning for a moment, Dite stopped (Jacqueline taking the opportunity to straighten herself out), stretched her wings, and shook them out before letting them rest behind her.

“Mm yep! I think so. They’re behaving!”

“For now.”

Dite giggled. “Let’s hope they keep it up! I have a huge list of rides to go on, so they better be behaving.”

“Ugh. Rides.”

“I have some Jacqueline friendly ones, too! I’m accommodating.”

Settling into step beside her, Jacqueline squeezed the goddess’s hand. “You are the sweetest person, did you know that?”

“I did. Someone tells me all the time!”

Jacqueline cackled, picking up her pace and running into the fair, hand-in-hand with Dite.

🏹️🩷🩵❄️

Dite went on every single fast paced, scary looking, incredibly tall ride at least twice.

Jacqueline had tried to join her on some of the rides. She really, really did.

But after the fourth very fast (albeit tame) coaster, her stomach had reminded her unpleasantly about her accursed motion sickness, and fighting back a wave of nausea she’d stumbled down the boardwalk to the beach, Dite half-carrying her to the ocean, the cold water doing wonders for the sprite.

Grounded, Jacqueline watched dutifully from the sidelines, snapping photos between licks of cold confectionery, waving every time Dite whooshed by, her hands in the air.

When her stomach had finally recovered (several ice cream cones and popsicles later, somehow), Dite dragged her to the tame, cutesy rides, the pair of them taking silly photos on the carousel, absolutely whaling on one another in the bumper cars, and spinning so many different carts on the various scramblers Jacqueline nearly got sick all over again.

After dizzily stumbling across the park, they got the new high score in the interactive shooting-the-enemies rides, survived the haunted house ride, and had gone on so many log rides that Jacqueline was starting to crystallize a bit.

“Want to hang out on the beach and dry a little bit? Or melt, in this case.”

“Nah. This is a vibe. I’m kind of digging it, you know? Now I’m sparkling.”

Dite laughed, about to say something when her breath caught in her throat.

“Oh!”

“What? What’s wrong?”

She was squeaking. Making absolutely unintelligible noises Jacqueline thought could only be expressed with very specific emote icons that had yet to be invented.

“Looklooklook! Eee! It’s a TUNNEL of LOVE!”

Sure enough, right in front of them was a giant, pinkish-reddish-purplish dark ride. It was adorned with hearts and little cherubs, the carts two seaters and heart shaped, floating through the water in the ride.

“Those things are REAL?!”

Dite laughed, pulling her girlfriend towards the ride. “Of course! And a magnet for romance. And…other things. Which is a weird choice! Definitely a yum for some that is an ick for me. It’s not very private or nice, y’know? Plus, Eros only knows how unsanitary they are given what has been known to go on in them.”

“So we’re skipping it, then?”

“WHAT?! Of COURSE not! It’s an amusement park staple, Jacqueline!” Dite laughed to herself, clambering into the boat. “Did you know, seventy-two percent of first kisses happen on these things?”

“Really? Oh, thank you.”

Dite smiled, hoisting Jacqueline into their little boat. “No problem. And I don’t understand why. Like, I get the theming behind it? But it just doesn’t seem romantic, you know?”

“That’s more your area of expertise, hun—whoa! Thanks babe.”

“No problem!” Dite held onto the sprite’s arm until she was properly seated. “You looked like you were about to fall again.”

“Yeah. That last spiny boy really did a number on me.”

“That’s all right, sweets! I’ve got you.”

“Thank goodness for that.”

Giggling softly and kissing her cheek, Dite settled in (giving her wings a moment to get comfortable as well) and pulled the bar down, the little boat launching and setting off into the tunnel.

“I mean, this tunnel of love is very nice,” Dite continued, lifting an arm as Jacqueline curled up alongside her. Snuggling up into her side, Jacqueline was more than happy to feel Dite push her closer as they drifted along the track. “The water is fresh! No weird animatronics, and my dad wouldn’t hate the littler cherubic portrayals outside. All good things! The plants are real, too, and from all over the world, it looks like!”

“Aunt Summer loves fresh flora and fauna from all over the place! I think that’s how Spring doesn’t get on her nerves. They bond about it.”

“Awh, that’s cute! It pays off, because like, this would be an ideal place for a kiss, y’know?”

“Oh?” Jacqueline glanced over, glad Dite couldn’t see the very red flush creeping onto her face (and hoping she didn’t notice the squeaky octave she was at).

“Yeah! But not like, ideal ideal. This is number three on my list of places to kiss at a fair, specifically.”

“Only three?”

“Yep!”

“What’s number one?” Jacqueline found herself asking, curious for completely unrelated reasons, no, seriously, don’t look at her like that! “Actually, hold on. Places to kiss at a fair? Not in general?”

“Yeah! I have lots of first kiss lists! Kissing lists in general! Based on location, time of year, season, even—"

“What managed to push a tunnel of love ride down to number three? I’d have thought it’d be like, number one on the fairground list what with the theming.”

“And you thought wrong!” Dite was chipper as they turned a corner into complete darkness, their clothes suddenly fluorescent as the ride went glow-in-the-dark. “Here’s the thing.”

Jacqueline was mildly intrigued. Her stomach fluttered. At least, she thought it was her stomach. She was, after all, queasy. But then she thought of kissing. And of Dite. And, well, maybe it wasn’t just the multiple spinning rides in a row. The Tunnel of Love being a number three began to make more sense as they drifted through it, gimmicks and all, and Jacqueline found herself unable to NOT think about what the number one spot would be. Unfortunately for her, before she even got to learn number one, Dite had a LOT to say about number two.

“—and that’s why upside down on any pendulum ride is number two on the list,” Dite wrapped up as their boat made it back to the loading dock.

“That beat out a tunnel of love? I’m…honestly surprised, but then again, it’s very you, isn’t it?”

Dite laughed as the bar popped up, stepping out and offering Jacqueline a hand. “Exactly! Don’t tell me Tunnel of Love is higher on your list.”

Jacqueline smiled, watching her step carefully as she braced herself on the sides of the cart, happy to grab Dite’s hand and be on steady ground again. “I never really thought about it, to be honest.”

“WHAT?!”

“What?! I mean, romance isn’t really my forte, nor is it in my job description.”

“I beg to differ! I think you are very romantic." Fluttering, Dite placed one long, soft finger on the tip of Jacqueline's nose. “Boop!”

Jacqueline smiled, tip of her nose tingling with the ghost of her soft touch as Dite drew her finger away and landed, smiling fondly at the sprite. “Well, that’s sweet of you to think.”

“It’s true! You’re very good at romantic food dates, you know.”

“Probably because I like food very much. Speaking of which! I’m starved.”

“After all that ice cream?”

“Of course! It melts, Dite! It doesn’t give me nutrients at all.”

Dite laughed. “I don't think that's how that works.”

“Whatever the case! Let's go get some food!”

🏹️🩷🩵❄️

The Food Pavilion was bustling. Magibeans and magihumans from all over were going booth to booth, chatting up a storm and laughing as they sampled food and sipped various drinks, punches, juices, and—when someone burped sparkles to resounding applause—concoctions!

Hand in hand, Dite and Jacqueline laughed, cheering on the glitter burps as they went booth to booth themselves. Unable to make a concrete decision, they picked a little bit of everything, swapping snacks from one another’s plates and clearing them fast as they rounded the corner to the dessert section. Some foods were hits; some were misses. Some very big misses. But both women enjoyed themselves, happy to while away the daylight hours in each other’s company.

Dusk was finally beginning to fall, the fair slowly lighting up as they left the Food Festival and entered the game alley.

“...so elephant ears is like, a completely new turn of phrase for me. But like,” Jacqueline paused, lifting a heavily cinnamon-sugared piece of flat, fried dough off her plate. “I can see it.” Shrugging, she took a huge bite out of it, sugar crystals flying, and placed it back down on the plate. “I call them beaver tails. That’s what they’re usually called in Canada, at least! At Blue Mountain, they have a Beaver Tail shack like, right at the peak of one set of runs. Divine. There is nothing like having a beaver tail in the freezing cold while strapped to a pair of skis! We’ll have to go next winter!”

“Oh, I’d love that! It’s been DECADES since I did a winter sport! This one time, I—” Dite stopped abruptly, tensing suddenly. Jacqueline had reached out and grabbed her arm tightly, her fingers really squeezing. “What? What’s going on, what’s—”

“AH DITE LOOKLOOKLOOK!”

Slowly removing her free hand from her charm bracelet, Dite followed Jacqueline's finger.

“IT’S A GIANT POLAR BEAR! AH!” She squeezed tightly once more, grabbing the goddess's arm with both hands and looking up at her very, very seriously.

“Yes?”

“I need it. Can you win it for me?”

Dite relaxed, resting her hand on top of both of Jacqueline's. “Of course I can! I did promise!" Tapping the side of her cheek, she frowned. "Hopefully it’s a game I’m good at.”

“You? Not good at something? The absurdity of that suggestion!”

Dite laughed. “Oh, stop that, you! It happens.”

“Well, in the unlikely event that it does, we can always steal it.”

“Jacqueline!” Fake indignant, Dite hid her little laugh behind her hand.

“What?! You said we’d stab if we needed to earlier! I’m just making sure that’s still on the table!”

“Let’s see what we’re working with first, okay?”

Jacqueline tilted her head back, a look of distaste plastered onto her face. “Ugh. Fine.”

Giggling, Dite pulled Jacqueline gently alongside her until they hit a wall of people. Somewhere beyond the crowd, a bell was ringing. The crowd roared; then a dull smack resounded. A slide-whistle sound followed, and the crowd would tense, and tense, until suddenly they’d all drop the tension and groan, as though someone had come close to a goal and not gotten it.

It sounded familiar, Dite thought, as she pat Jacqueline's arm and let go, standing on tiptoes to see over the crowd. It wasn’t until she began to hover (the breeze from her wings clearing the space around them) that she was able to see what game she’d have to destroy to get her girlfriend the fluffiest, biggest stuffed polar bear she’d ever seen in her life.

She grinned.

“I can’t see anything,” Jacqueline complained. “And there’s BARELY a north wind! What're we working with here?”

Dite landed, still grinning ear-to-ear. “You are so small.”

“I am AWARE, thanks.”

“Small and CUTE.”

“Dite! I’m trying to be indignant! Stop flustering me while I moan and groan about being short to a person who is like, a giant compared to my me, outside of full goddess form.”

“But it’s cute when you do that!”

Jacqueline flushed. “Goddess above. Stop that!”

“Never! Now, want to hear about what we need to do to win that bear?”

“Of COURSE! Who do we have to fight for it?!”

“Summer.”

Jacqueline blanched. “Ah, frostbite. I can’t beat her! She's way stronger than me and freezing her would not work what with the being the literal season and all. I don't stand a chance!”

“But I do! Remember?" Dite flexed. "Super strong girlfriend? Who promised she’d win you a prize?”

“I did request that, didn’t I?”

“Mhmm!”

“And you did promise, didn’t you?”

“Yep!”

“I got a little overexcited. My bad.”

“Well, let’s go get the deets! Maybe you’ll want to give it a shot?”

“Against Aunt Summer?! HA! We’ll see about that.” She stuck out her hand. “Take me away! Let’s go see what exactly it is...”

Grabbing Jacqueline's hand, Dite skirted around the edge of the crowd until they got to the front. Summer stood tall beside a strength testing game, hands on her hips as she watched the next poor unfortunate soul give the game a whirl. They hefted the hammer (staggering back a bit) and swung, hitting the base with a decent thwack!

The crowd gasped. Summer looked impressed. The slide whistle sound started up again, the marker climbing higher, and higher, and higher, until—SPLAT.

“Ou. Just missed it, Maisie! Better luck next time, girl.”

“I am small but MIGHTY!” The brownie flexed; the crowd gave her a round of applause as she scampered off, disappearing into it.

“SO! Who’s NEXT! Who thinks they can outmatch ME!?”

The crowd cheered as a dwarf stepped forward, flexing and smirking, winking as the crowd cheered him on. He stuck out a finger, pointing right at the season.

“My run next, your Sunniness!”

“Hammer’s yours!”

“Oh, please! Ladies first.”

“If you insist!”

The crowd oh’d. Jacqueline snorted. She nudged Dite, only to see the goddess’s attention drawn elsewhere.

“Dite?”

“Found an employee! Come on!”

Whisked away once more, Jacqueline bounced along behind Dite until they came to a stop, below a younger looking fairy. He lay on his belly as he floated in midair, watching the festivities with satisfaction.

“Excuse me!”

His eyes drifted downwards. “Well, look at that! We’ve got ourselves some Legates! Care to play against Summer herself?!”

“If that’s what’s gonna get me that GIANT POLAR BEAR then YES. I need it. It’s very important we get it. What’s the task.”

“Well that’s easy!” The fae sat up, still in midair, speaking in a way that made Jacqueline think this was going to be very not easy. “You’ve just gotta beat Summer herself at the high striker!”

Behind them, the bell dinged. Summer's arms shot up, still holding the hammer, as the crowd went wild. Irritation leaked through the dwarf’s determined facade.

“It’s only one gold for three tries...”

A golden coin glinted in the fairway lights. “Here you go! I’ll give it a go!” Smiling sweetly, Dite tilted her head, ponytail bobbing, looking the picture of innocence.

“That's the spirit!" The fae caught the coin, flipping it in midair. It disappeared before he could call heads or tails, the small bag at his side clinking.

“Hehe. Yay~! Now step aside! I’m about to win me a girlfriend worthy polar bear!”

“Whoa! We got ourselves an eager beaver here!” The fae floated up, hovering above the crowd. “Magibeans and magihumans! We got ourselves a new contender! You ready, your sunniness?”

Summer hefted the hammer. “I was FORMED READY! Who thinks they can take me down NOW?!”

“I do!”

The crowd cleared, Dite fluttering through politely. “Hi Summer!”

Summer briefly blinked in surprise before her face lit up, her ponytail burning brighter as she tossed her head back and laughed. “Well hello Dite! Woo! Looks like we got ourselves a real challenge here, magifolk! Round seven hundred and fifty-two: season versus goddess.”

“And this goddess is in it to win it! My girlfriend needs a big, stuffed, polar bear!”

Behind Dite, the crowd hopped back, rubbing their arms, teeth chattering.

“Outta my WAY please and THANK YOU—Hi Aunt Summer!”

“Hi Jacqueline!” Shifting her weight and dropping the hammer to the ground, Summer leaned on the handle, free hand on her hip. “Dite. I hope you know that just because you’re doing this for my niece, it does NOT mean I’ll go easy on you."

“Oh, Summer, I wouldn’t dream of it! After all, I won’t be going easy on you.”

The crowd oh’d. Summer looked delighted. “Haha! The Goddess of Pleasure, everyone! So, who’s first, hun?”

“Oh, you’ve got the hammer! You can go first. Unless we can bring our own? Because I do have one on hand!”

“Ha! No need for that! Let’s do this. Best two out of three.”

“Got it!”

Nodding, Summer straightened, gripping the hammer once again. She swung, hitting the base with a hefty thunk, the bell sounding off a hearty ding seconds later. The striker lit up; lights flashed and the crowd cheered as the bells at the top sounded off, lights rushing about in a myriad of colours as the striker sunk back down to the base.

“Oh, stop it y’all. You’ve seen me do this exact thing over seven hundred times!”

The crowd cheered harder. Some magifolk started stomping their feet. Summer laughed, giving a little bow.

“HA! Alright, alright! Give it a rest, guys. Dite?” Hefting the hammer over her shoulders and giving it a little spin, she grabbed the head in one hand, offering the goddess the shaft. “Hammer’s yours.”

“Don’t mind if I do.”

She grabbed the handle, twirling it just as exuberantly as Summer had. Grinning ear to ear, she let it rest across her shoulders, holding it one handed as she sized up the striker.

“She gets three tries, by the way!”

“Ou, spicy. You can take ‘em all in one go, hun.”

“Thank you, your Sunniness! But…I think I’ll only be needing the one,” Dite winked.

“Really now?”

“Mhmm!”

She pulled the hammer off her shoulders, both hands on the base as she pulled back and swung with a battle cry that had made amazonian warriors proud.

The puck went flying. It shot up to the bell in seconds, and kept going, the bell knocking into the crowd as the puck soared high into the air above them.

“Op! My bad! Just a sec.”

Flashing Summer a smile, Dite torpedoed up (hammer still in hand) and raced to grab the puck, shooting back down in seconds.

“I got it!”

There was a beat of silence before the crowd collectively lost their shit.

Summer screamed in excitement. “You did that! Holy sunbeams!” tossing the hammer to the side, Summer grabbed Dite’s hand and held it up. “LADIES AND GENTS! GIVE IT UP FOR THE GODDESS OF PLEASURE, LEGATE CUPID, MY NIECE IN LAW—DITE!”

“FROST YEAH! GIVE ME THAT FROSTING POLAR BEAR!”

Stunned in shock, the fairy that had explained the game to them grabbed the giant polar bear, passing it down to Jacqueline’s chilly little grabby hands.

“HAH! THANK YOU! DITE! DITE, LOOK!”

The crowd was still screaming. Phones and portable crystal balls were out, people freaking out and filming the remnants of the game, sneaking selfies with the season and the goddess. Smirking and flipping the bird as she ran past some of the secret selfie takers, Jacqueline came to a slippery halt beside Dite, polar bear briefly ruffling one of her wings as she spoke very quickly to Aunt Summer.

“—I’m so sorry about the damage, I didn’t mean to break it at all! I hadn't intended to, it was just trash talk, honest! I can pay for that, or miracle it right back to the way it should be, or—”

“It’s okay! Dite! Calm down, girl.” Summer grabbed her other hand, bringing both arms down and folding their hands together. “I have been stuck at this sunburnt game for hours. I’m starved. I’ve been DYING to hit up the food court but people just kept on challenging me! Thank YOU for obliterating the thing so I can go have some food! We can fix this in no time at all.”

“Are you sure? I can just—”

“Positive! Go enjoy your evening with my niece. And your giant polar bear.”

“Hehe.” Jacqueline squished it, peeking around it. “I’m gonna call it Ice Bear.”

“Awh, like in We Bare Bears?”

“Yeah! He’s my fave. Maybe I’ll get this guy a little axe! Did you see that, Aunt Summer? She BROKE the GAME!”

“I KNOW!”

“SHE’S THE BEST!”

“Damn straight! You take good care of her, Jacqueline. She’s a keeper,” Aunt Summer winked.

“Not if I take care of her first!” Grinning, Dite scooped Jacqueline up, polar bear and all, and fled the scene of the crime.

“Dite that was AWESOME!” perfectly content being carried around bridal style with a giant polar bear stuffy, Jacqueline grinned up at her partner, kissing her cheek. “Thank you.”

“Awh, you’re welcome, sweets!” she kissed the top of her head—hard to do when wearing a sunhat and carrying a polar bear, they both learnt. Giggling, Dite placed her down, bringing her in close and whisking off her hat to plant the kiss proper.

“Mwah.”

Jacqueline could feel the snow evaporating right off her head. “Careful! I put my sunnies on the hat.”

“I know! I have them right here.” With a flourish, she put the hat back on Jacqueline’s head, glasses in hand. “I know where these should go. Boop! Now he looks like you.”

Flipping the giant polar bear around, Jacqueline snorted. Ice Bear was wearing her sunglasses. Maybe even better than her.

“Hehe, I love when you snort. It's cute! Cutie. I am so in love with you!”

“Well that makes two of us. I mean like, I love you too. Not my me. I DO LOVE MY ME, But I meant, like—”

A soft breath on her cheek; even softer lips pressing into it. The smell of strawberries. A warm tingle as the heat from the kiss lingered well after Dite had let go.

“I know, Jacqueline.”

“Okay. Cool. Good. Great.” Holy Hedone, her cheek was hot. “WHAT are we breaking next?!”

“Nothing! It was an accident!”

“A HAPPY accident! It was FUN! We should do another one. On purpose. Is Aunt Summer perhaps trapped again?”

Dite laughed. “How about instead of destroying a game, we find one that involves breaking things instead?”

“FROST yeah! I love breaking things. I think it's about my turn to win you a prize. Chose! What do you want?”

“Let’s see what they’ve got!”

And so the pair made their way from game to game, the fair lighting up as dusk turned into twilight. The game hosts shouted into the crowd, voices overlapping amongst the laughter and cheering surrounding them as the pile of stuffies in Dite’s arms grew bigger, and bigger, and bigger, a silly looking duck plushie landing on the top of the pile, just about obscuring Dite’s face.

“I, uh...I think that’s more than enough stuffies, Jacquie.”

“Hmm? Oh! Haha, whoops. I can hold that one.”

She took the duck back, somehow managing to wedge it between herself and Ice Bear.

“Thanks babes. I really appreciate all the little victories you’ve swung tonight, but um…I think I’m GOOD on stuffies.”

“Listen. Listen. I hear you. But consider this. My dad gave me a thing for this exact kind of scenario ages ago…” patting her skirt pocket as Ice Bear teetered precariously in a one-handed grip, the strange duck squashed to oblivion, Jacqueline pulled out a small, itty-bitty bag. “Ta-da! It’s like my mom’s basket! Lemme just…”

Biting down on one of the drawstrings, Jacqueline used her free hand to open the pouch up. Victorious, she looped the string around her finger, holding it open in front of Dite. “Just bring the pile near the bag and watch!”

Dite did just that and slowly, the stuffies floated out of her arms and swirled into the bag, disappearing into the glowing recesses of it. Finally, the very last one floated into the bag, Dite saving the duck from its squished hellscape and popping it in behind a pink toad looking…thing.

“There we go!” Jacqueline pulled the drawstrings taught, sliding the bag back in her pocket. “Now we can get even MORE stuffies!”

“Jacqueline!” Dite laughed. “I have so many! I can carpet my room at home with them! How about instead,” she grabbed Jacqueline’s hands, pulling her in close and squeezing them between hers, “we go find a place for dinner? My treat!”

“What? No fair! It’s always your treat, when is it my turn?!”

“You can cover the next one!”

“That’s what you said last time!”

“Tell you what. I’ll cover you…and you can cover Ice Bear, since he’ll need a seat all to himself.”

Jacqueline giggled. “Promise you let me cover the next one.”

“Sure! Of course! But ONLY IF we go to one of the beachside grills! I think I’ve had enough carnival food for today.”

Jacqueline smiled. She let out another little giggle. “Hehe. Okay.”

“C’mon, let’s head out! We can cut through the attractions section. I bet it looks as pretty as you do, all lit up tonight.”

Dite grabbed Jacqueline’s hand, tugging her forward and watching surreptitiously as the flush crept into her cheeks. She grinned successfully when Jacqueline made one of those strange little spluttery noises again, unable to form a coherent thought for the briefest of moments.

“Dite! You—ah! Stop it. Am I really glowing?”

“Oh! I must be losing my touch! That was a quick recovery.”

“Dite! Hehe.”

“But yes, you are glowing! You’re still all crystally from the log rides. I knew we should’ve gone to the beach and dried up a bit.”

Jacqueline pulled her closer. Nudging Dite’s arm, she stood up on tiptoe, Dite tilting her head as she realized Jacqueline was going in for a whisper.

“I did it on purpose. Remember?”

Dite smiled, eyes crinkling shut as she laughed. “You’re so silly.”

Jacqueline laughed too, dropping back to the flats of her feet. “Could you imagine if I wasn’t?”

“I don’t even want to!”

“Exactly! Oh, Dite look! You’re so right. Look how everything is lit up and glowing!”

They stopped at the top of the amusement rides section, staring down the corridor. The cutesy rides were lit up, sparkling into the night. String lights hung across the walkway, kids on the shoulders of adults hanging little summer themed ornaments between each bulb. Roller coasters raced past high above them, the lit-up carts a streak of light in the night. And at the very top of it all stood the giant Ferris wheel, lit up for the night and slowly bringing people up to look out over the sea.

“Oh, I didn’t even think to bring an ornament—”

“I did!”

With a grin, Dite whipped up a glowing pink hand. Ribbon around her finger, the ornament swayed briefly—two little hearts, stacked on top of one another.

“You think of EVERYTHING, don’t you?”

Dite winked. “You don’t even know."

Laughing, Jacqueline grabbed the ornament, looking up at Dite suspiciously.

She blinked, eyes wide. “What?”

“Oh, nothing,” Jacqueline spoke softly, a sly smile on her face. “C’mon. Let’s give this baby some colour.”

They made their way down the lane until they reached a booth surrounded by people with a bunch of colouring implements. As soon as a space cleared, the pair squeezed in (Ice Bear and all), and moments later the wooden hearts had colour. A light pink heart stacked on top of a light blue heart, doused in purple glitter.

“I love the glitter!”

“I’m not even done yet!” Reaching up, Jacqueline poked the hearts with a glowing finger. Frost swirled to life, cracking as it coated the ornament, the usual swirls looking just a little heart like.

“Okay. Now I’m done! We can hang it up.”

“And I see a perfect hook right by one of the lights! Up we go!”

Dite’s wings unfurled. She scooped up Jacqueline in one hand, soaring almost to the end of the lane way and hovering right below one of the golden hooks beside the sparkling lights.

“Together?”

Jacqueline tucked her finger into the ribbon alongside Dite’s.

“Together.”

With matching soft smiles, the pair of them reached up together, hooking their ornament on the string. It twirled, the lights on either side twinkling, the frost coating it shimmering in the light.

“Oh. It's beautiful. You do such lovely work.”

“Oh, it’s just. It’s a lil’ touch of frost it’s, it’s nothing really, I—”

“Shh.” Dite giggled as Jacqueline flushed, looking cross eyed at the finger the goddess had put on her lips. “It’s not nothing. Not to me it’s not.”

“You’re so—ahhh! Stop it, you!”

“NEVER. Wanna go on the Ferris wheel?”

“Hmm?” Jacqueline blinked, colouring deeper. She looked behind them (at the wheel) and the back in front of her (at a literal goddess of a woman who had just flustered the sleet out of her and did this on a regular basis) and then seemed to sort of come to.

“Oh. OH! Ferris wheel! Yes! I do! Absolutely. I would be down for that. I’d love it.”

“Even with all the spinning?”

Jacqueline looked over at the slowly spinning wheel (stopping occasionally to let people on and off) and laughed. “I’m sure my delicate stomach can survive that level of intensity.”

“Yay! Let’s GO!”

Dite flew forward, Jacqueline throwing her arms around her shoulders, holding on to the goddess tightly. Giggling, Dite brought them both down at the back of the line, letting Jacqueline slide out of her arms.

“Down you go!”

“Thank you.”

“Is Ice Bear coming with us?”

“Hmm.” Squinting at the bear briefly, Jacqueline nodded, grabbing the bag from her pocket and whooshing the giant polar bear inside with the others. Pulling the drawstrings taught, she whisked it into her pocket just in time for them to board a cart of their own.

They sat down, the attendant holding the cart steady as they settled in, pushing the bar and locking it in place. Slowly, the wheel started back up again.

“Whew. I’m bushed. What a day.”

Dite cracked her back, her wings stretching and laying down behind them both. “I know! So much fun!”

“I know! And now we get to sit back and enjoy the view.” Leaning over the protective bar, Jacqueline smiled out at the arctic sea. In the distance, icebergs floated by quietly, the water and sky stretching on and on until they blended together, the stars sparkling in the water as they were in the sky.

“Isn’t it beautiful?”

Dite watched Jacqueline, sighing contently. “Yeah. It really is.”

“You know what would really hit?”

“If it was a fireworks night?”

“Yeah! And I actually think it is! Look at the beach.”

Their cart crested the top, dropping back down and coming to a stop as people loaded and unloaded. People were settling down on the beach, looking up at the sky expectantly. The wheel started up again, seats swaying as the rotation continued.

“Oh, that’s PERFECT!” Dite’s eyes shone as she clasped her hands together excitedly, wings giving a little flutter behind her. “Shame we won’t get to see the fireworks show from the very tippy top! Wouldn’t that be just lovely?”

Jacqueline straightened up. She looked over the bar. Then over the sides of the cart. Then down at the control panel. Then back down the sides of the cart.

“It would be, wouldn’t it?”

With a cute devilish smirk, Jacqueline leaned back as the cart dropped from the top once more, surreptitiously placing a glowing hand just outside it. Dite could hear cracking right under them and across, stretching all the way down the closest support pole, until suddenly, there was a fizz and a POP!

The cart crested, reaching the top of the Ferris Wheel as the entire operation came to a swaying halt.

“Oh dear. Oh my. It looks like we’re stuck!”

“Oh no!” Dite threw her hand on her forehead, looking off in the distance with a sly smile. “What a shame.”

SKREEE! BOOM! FLASH! BANG. POPPOPPOPPOP!

“And look at that! The fireworks are starting!”

“How serendipitous!”

“Someone out there must really love you, Dite.”

“I’m inclined to agree, except I don't think they are out there. I think they are directly beside me.”

Jacqueline giggled, smiling up at the goddess. The fireworks flashed, the colours lighting her face up—oranges and yellows and purples and blues and pinks and reds—Dite’s heart felt like it was going to explode out of her chest. The moment she'd been waiting for had arrived; she reached out, grabbing Jacqueline’s face between both her hands.

The sprite blinked. Successfully thrown off, she looked at Dite curiously, the soft pads of her pink, manicured fingers rubbing her cheeks softly. Her own heart began to flutter as she gazed into Dite’s warm brown eyes, fireworks cracking behind her (as they always should be, Jacqueline thought, stomach fluttering about now too), and the most brilliant smile spread across her face.

“This.”

“What?”

“This is number one.”

And before Jacqueline could blink, Dite’s lips pressed against hers, and Jacqueline was gone.

Her lips were soft, brushing against Jacqueline’s delicately, but lightly. She felt herself grow limp as Dite’s hands caressed her face, warm, and soft, the briefest hint of icing sugar still on her lips. Her heart soared, and Jacqueline smiled into the kiss as she threw her arms over Dite’s shoulders and kissed back, crushing Dite’s lips as the fireworks exploded above them, faster and louder. The brims of their hats pushed up as Jacqueline pressed up against her almost greedily, only pulling away when she needed to catch her breath.

She felt warm all over. If there was any snow left in her hair, it was long gone now. Jacqueline was surprised the wheel was still frozen in place; below her, through the rush of the blood pumping through her veins and the quick breathing of the both of them and the ringing in her ears and the butterflies in her stomach, she could hear someone calling for a melting. All she could think was, there’s no need! I have been successfully melted!

She snorted. Her smile grew larger and she found herself giggling, then laughing as she pulled Dite closer, hugging her tightly.

Just as warm and flushed, Dite squished her back, laughing as well. Joy bubbled up; she was grinning like a madwoman, her wings standing on end.

“Oh! Oh, wow! That was…you’ve been planning this all day, haven’t you.”

“From the MOMENT I left home, yes! Ah! I’m so excited I pulled it off! Yay~!”

Jacqueline smiled, tilting her head. “I knew it.”

“You are a big, slushy liar! You had no idea!”

“No! I had some idea! Like. Before we hung the thing. I was getting suspicious.”

Dite laughed, gazing into Jacqueline’s eyes and tucking a stray hair behind her ear. “Mm. I don’t believe that for a second.”

“I love you. I love you a lot. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do! And I love you too. You know that, right?”

Jacqueline giggled. “I do, yes. Very much so. Is this a thing we’re doing now?”

“What?”

“Kissing?”

“Yes! If you’d like, of course.”

“Oh you KNOW I’d like. It’s okay with you? You like?”

“I! Love kisses!”

“My turn, then!”

And this time, Jacqueline pulled Dite in confidently, locking lips once more. Harder, but tender still. More ferocity this time, but slow as their lips explored one another, lingering, tasting, hands roving as the fireworks swelled and their cheeks burnt, smiles slipping through and shaping their kiss. Dite’s hands tangled in Jacqueline’s hair as they broke apart, Jacqueline gasping for breath once more, flushed, lips parted and looking plump.

“Being kissed suits you.”

“Dite! If you make me blush any more I am going to straight up turn into a summer sprite. You make me feel…impossible things.” Jacqueline smiled softly, grabbing Dite’s hands tightly and looking at her with a soft, flushed, smile. “And I love it. I love you.”

“Awh. I love you, too! Even if you did suddenly turn into a summer sprite. Mwah!”

It was a quick brush, right on the very top of her head, and Jacqueline’s heart still fluttered, her stomach still tingled, and she had no idea what to do except for squish Dite’s hands even tighter.

“So this is number one?”

“Duh! Ferris wheel? Fireworks? Can’t go wrong there.”

Jacqueline laughed. “You are the expert.”

“I know!”

They came together naturally, snuggling up in the cart as the grand finale lit up the skies around them, finishing with a dazzling array of summer-shaped explosions. A cheer started by the beach, working its way up into the fairgrounds and right to the Ferris wheel. Below them, people began moving, making their way into the lines and off to the various amenities, magibeans with young children heading to the exit. Out on the beach, lights began to appear as music started up, dancing beginning in earnest, the Ferris wheel staying perfectly in place.

“Hmm. I think maybe I did not think this through.”

“Oh?”

Jacqueline nodded. “We are still very much stuck.”

Dite glanced down at the controls. The tech looked bewildered as an elf with a toolbox got to work, a fire sprite shaking out their hands and lighting them up, beginning the weighty task of thawing the sudden ice.

“Huh. So it seems.”

“We may be up here for a while.”

“Hmm…” Dite tapped her chin for a moment, looking down at Jacqueline with a sly smile. She snaked her hand around the sprite, resting it on her lower back and pulling her in closer.

“I think I’m fine with that.”

Jacqueline laughed, the flush on her cheeks deepening once more as they leaned into one another yet again, eyes locked on each other's lips.

“I think I’m fine with that, too.”

[leviiackrman]

"I will carry you with me through all of my days, remembering love does not simply end because you are gone..."

CHARACTER PAGE || MORE EDITS || TEMPLATE

tag list: @risingsh0t @sstewyhosseini @chuckhansen @statichvm @unholymilf @florbelles @confidentandgood @arklay @jinfromyarikawa @shellibisshe @simonxriley @queennymeria @marivenah @faerune @feypacts @mrdekarios @liurnia @thedeadthree @jacobseed @jackiesarch @heroofpenamstan @dekarios @jillvalentinesday @shadowglens @fenharel

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

having an oc story set this year is really fucked up bc i look at the calendar and i'm like "oh shit we got [character]'s death in a few days waow..."

[nulltune]

ART CREDIT! 💖 LYNN FOUND DEAD IN MIAMI OMGG my friend (irl 🫣) commissioned hakuno art 4 meee 🥺🥺😭😭😭🥹🫶🫶🙏💘💞💖💗💓💘 gajfhskfbd it's kind of a long story but PLSS SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL........ i'm so blessed so moved,,, and i wanna share real quick bc úwù🫶 and as u can see, i'm using the chibi as my dash icon now too ! ✨️but also pls do tell me if the quality is fudged up or sth 😳🙏 am not sure if it looks okie !!

[sweet-beezus]

Some more recent-ish stuff, but this time a few of them are actually fresher-

[aroace-polyshow]

firstly the thing i titled this file makes me laugh. i didnt title it for like a few months and just left it open and never actually saved it and just relied on csp autosave to keep my work from vanishing into the void and when i did finally have the thought “hm maybe i should actually save this before moving onto a new file to work on” this is what i titled it . secondly its like 67 layers on this thing. btw.

[sparklingchim]

maybe in another universe; m |jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

word count: 6.2k

tropes: idol!jungkook, angst, childhood friends, exes to lovers?, smut

rating: 18+

warnings: protected sex, making out, groping, fingering, jk is saur in love <3, oc is an overthinker, they're v needy, he loves watching her cum <3, giggly kisses, jk wants to hit it raw so bad 👉🏼👈🏼, one (1) boob squeeze i think, oc scratches his back 🤭

summary: jungkook is tipsy as he wanders the streets of seoul, and still, you're all he can think about.

a/n: it's bestie jk's bday!!! so here's a little fic n i swear i was gonna post smth fluffy but...here we are!!!!! sorry not sorry </3 love u

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

“I need you.”

“What?”

“I miss you so bad.”

“Are you drunk?”

“I love you. So much. It kinda hurts.”

“Jungkook.”

Silence. Except for the faint noises of cars passing by.

You hear a little sigh. “Missed hearing you say my name.”

Your fingers clasp tighter around your phone. “Why’d you call?” It’s 2 a. m., and the only reason you answered is because you were worried. This is the first time he’s called since the breakup.

“Just ‘cause,” he mumbles. You can hear the pout he’s speaking with. “We have a one week break from tour and I came back to Korea. Missed home and Mum, and you.”

“You’re in Busan, then?”

“Seoul.”

He’s here. So close.

You shake your head. Take a steady breath to calm your giddy heart. You shouldn’t care.

“Was at my parents’ for two...three days.” After a short pause, he continues, “Been wanting to talk to you all day long, but I didn’t have enough courage.”

“I mean...” You slump back against the couch, your head falling back. “There isn’t anything for us to talk about.”

“No?” he asks, confused. “I’ve got so much to say, though.”

“I meant, like, we shouldn’t be talking. At all. ‘Cause we’re – we’re done.” You thought you were. You thought you made it clear when you broke up with him.

“Haven’t you missed me at all?” He sounds both accusing and sad, and you think your heart breaks a little. “I think about you constantly,” Jungkook whispers, his confession carrying a soft hopelessness through the phone.

You sit up straight. “How much did you drink?”

“Hmm, not much,” he answers. “I’m not drunk!” he quickly adds. “Just needed some alcohol to have enough courage to call you.”

“You drank because of me?”

“You’ve never done this?”

“I’d like to say it wasn’t because of you.”

“So... you’ve been thinking about me too?” he asks tentatively.

You close your eyes. “Is this a conversation we should be having?”

Jungkook heaves a defeated sigh. With your eyes closed, you can almost picture him standing outside, the chill of the night air mixing with his feelings of loneliness. Maybe he’s pacing, or just staring into the distance, eyes weary with a faint trace of frustration mixed with vulnerability etched on his face.

“You can hang up if you want. I just hoped we could talk a bit. I’ve been – I’ve been feeling lonely and a little sad, and I couldn’t get you out of my head,” he babbles. “I’m sorry if you don’t wanna talk.”

You wish you could be cruel – could be a cynic and just hang up. But you can’t. He is tipsy and emotional, and you still love him too much.

“No, it’s fine.” If only he knew how much you’ve been wanting to hear his voice again. “I didn’t expect a call like this tonight, that’s all,” you add, pulling your legs up to your chest. “Are you on your way home?”

“Yeah. I’ll be there soon.”

“You have the dorm all to yourself?”

“The dorm? Ah, yes, I was the only one to fly back to Korea. The others stayed in the US.”

You hug your knees with one arm.

“Why are you still up so late?” Jungkook asks, as if he isn’t the one roaming around, tipsy and a bit of a heartbroken mess, in the city in the middle of the night. He does all that and yet worries about you.

“I was just eating.” Your eyes drift to the remnants of food in front of you. “And watching a drama.” The big screen is on mute. You hurriedly searched for the remote to turn off the sound once you saw the caller’s name.

“With your mum?”

“No, she’s at the studio. I think she’s finishing up some songs,” you say. Your mum left sometime in the evening, saying she’d had a sudden spark of inspiration and needed to go to the company. You bet she won’t come home until 4 a.m. “I couldn’t sleep and was craving some tteokbokki, so...”

“From the restaurant at Gangnam?”

A soft, hesitant smile blossoms on your face. “They make it the most delicious.”

He mutters a wistful sound. “I haven’t had it in so long.”

Your fingertips gently tap against your knees in a slow rhythm. “You should definitely have it before you leave again.”

“With you?” Just two words and yet they’re filled with so much innocent hope.

Your fingers halt.

“Oh?”

“Would you not want to see me?”

“I’m not sure if we should.”

“But do you want to?” He’s met with silence from your side. “You were one of the reasons I really wanted to come back to Korea.”

“But what if I don’t want to meet up?”

“Then don’t open the door.”

“I don’t...What door?”

“Your door,” he answers conversationally.

You hurriedly scramble to your feet and walk to the door. “You’re here?” The screen on the intercom shows Jungkook, holding up his phone against his ear and patiently waiting.

“You watching me?” Jungkook teases, playfully cocking his head to the side as he stares directly into the camera.

“Oh.” You take shy step back. Blood rushes to your cheeks.

“Open the door for me? Please?”

You don’t think it’s a good idea to let Jungkook in. But his doe eyes. His pleading doe eyes. They do it for you.

You buzz him in and, while you wait for him, you try to calm your racing heart.

When the elevator doors open and Jungkook steps out, you’re struck by the sight of him after months apart. You take in every detail: his tousled hair, his tired but still striking eyes, the way the light catches the contours of his face. He looks so handsome, so achingly familiar. You’re drinking him in with your eyes, unable to believe he’s actually here.

“I thought you were heading to the dorm,” you say as Jungkook steps out of the elevator.

“I didn’t say that.” A pout graces his face.

He said he was heading home.

“I missed you,” Jungkook says, and suddenly you become awfully aware of the situation unfolding before you. You have to blink twice to make sure you’re not just picturing a hologram of Jungkook in your apartment. This time, he is real. Not a figment of your imagination.

“Me too,” you admit with a heavy heart.

A lopsided, sorrowful grin appears on his mouth. “Can’t bring yourself to say it back?”

“Jungkook, you-” You shake your head, sighing as your scramble for words. “You shouldn’t even be here.”

It’s the middle of the night, and upon answering a call from Jungkook, he stands right in front of you – just like in the dreams you secretly have at night when you’re feeling lonely again. It shouldn’t be this easy. It really shouldn’t be this easy for him to say these things and fall back into a natural pattern with you when you’ve been crying yourself to sleep at night, wishing your love for him would die.

And yet, here you are, with dangerous words at the tip of your tongue, barely resisting the intense urge of your heart to scream how much it has been wanting him back.

“But let’s not – let's not just stand here.” You point to the slippers next to him. “Take off your shoes and I’ll...I dunno, put on a movie?” You go back into the living room as Jungkook hangs up his coat and follows you.

“Oh, that looks delicious,” Jungkook exclaims when he spots the leftover tteokbokki on the coffee table.

“I can heat it up for you, if you want,” you offer. Judging by the way his tongue wets his bottom lip, it’s clear he’d appreciate that.

Jungkook trails behind you into the kitchen.

“So, watchu been up to?” He leans his forearms on the counter, watching you from across the island as you put the tteokbokki into the microwave.

He’s been in this kitchen countless times before. He’s made you tea when you were sick, prepared hot chocolate when you needed comfort, and knew exactly where to find the snack stash for movie nights. He’s even prepared breakfast for you and your mum on some mornings. But tonight, he can’t shake the feeling of being a stranger here. The memories of those moments feel distant, like a blurry movie he watched when he was too young to fully remember, leaving him with only a vague sense of familiarity.

“Just, you know, studying, working. The usual.” You turn to him, mimicking his position on the other side of the counter.

“So much on your plate that you couldn’t reply to my messages?”

His gaze is intense and shameless, and you look away.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to reply to messages sent by your ex.” You turn around, leaning your back against the counter. “What am I supposed to text back when you tell me that you miss me?”

“Hey, just last week I asked how you were doing. You could’ve replied to that one.” You can sense the sulkiness in his voice, mingled with a touch of light-heartedness, but you don’t turn to face him.

Jungkook closes the distance between you.

“You don’t want me in your life anymore? Like, at all?”

Your engulfed by his scent as he stands next to you, struggling to form a proper answer as you hesitantly peer into his face.

The microwave dings, and you breathe again.

“When was the last time you had this?” You place the plate in front of him and hand him the chopsticks.

“It’s been a few months. Before the tour started, I was dieting, so, maybe 5 months?” Jungkook doesn’t notice the roll of your eyes when he mentions dieting, his attention focused on the hot tteokbokki between his chopsticks. “Mhmmm.” He closes his eyes tightly, tipping his head back as he tastes the food on his tongue. “So good.”

“Feels good to have a bit of home again before you leave?”

Jungkook nods vigorously, his eyebrows scrunched up as he eats more.

You find yourself smiling, only realising it when Jungkook mirrors your grin. A giddy thrill and a soft ache twist together inside you like a secret exposed to the light. Unable to bear the eye contact, you look away, hiding your smile by biting your bottom lip.

You notice Jungkook offering you a piece of tteokbokki in your peripheral vision. “No, thanks. I’m really full. I had a lot.” You rub your belly.

“You always used to steal bites of mine, even when you were full.”

“I used to steal your dessert. Not dinner,” you correct him. “I can never have enough dessert.” You can’t help the small laugh that escapes you. “But that was when things were... different.”

Jungkook’s playful expression fades slightly. He chews slowly, contemplating your words. “Does it have to be that different?”

A delicate confession that hangs heavily in the air.

The warmth in your chest tightens, and you’re reminded again. Reminded of the reality you’ve both been trying to avoid – more so you than Jungkook.

“Maybe it does,” you reply, giving him a small, almost imperceptible nod. “Things change, people change.”

The weight of your words settles over both of you like a cold shadow.

Jungkook’s eyes search yours, as if trying to find a crack in the wall you’ve put up. “But what if some things don’t have to change? What if...some things are worth holding on to?”

So much longing and regret in his words, his eyes, his heart – he is blue everywhere.

“It’s not that simple, Jungkook.” The ache in your voice betrays the calm you’re trying to maintain. “We can’t just go back to how things were.”

He steps closer, and his familiar scent surrounds you again, making it so hard to act rationally when so many past memories swirl in your mind.

“I know we can’t go back. But I don’t want to lose you completely. Can’t we find a way to be something else? Something that works?”

The idea of keeping him in your life, even in a different way, tugs at you, but you know the danger in that. You know how easily the lines could blur again, how much harder it would be to protect your heart.

That reminds you, there are still pieces of Jungkook left in your room; t-shirts and sweatshirts scattered in your wardrobe.

Taking a deep breath, you push off the counter. “Before I forget, there are still some of your things in my bedroom.”

You catch the sudden confusion in Jungkook’s eyes, but you don’t let it deter you as you pad into your room.

“It’s just a few of your shirts. I’ve been meaning to give them back to you, but uh, I wasn’t sure how to approach you because I didn’t want to contact you, but anyways.” You grab the neatly folded pile of clothes from the back of your wardrobe. “Now you’re here, so.” You hold the pile out to him.

He regards his forgotten clothes with a slight raise of his brow. His hands don’t move to take them.

“They’re old anyway,” he says. “I don’t need them. Just throw them out.”

You hesitate, holding the pile tightly.

You won’t throw them out. He knows that too.

“Fine,” you shrug nonchalantly, storing his clothes back into your wardrobe. They sit there, a constant reminder that he still has a place in your life, even when he shouldn’t. Haunting every little corner that still belongs to him. But you’re just as guilty, allowing him to do so.

When you turn around again, you see the loaded expression on his face, and your immediate response is to ignore it – redirect his attention before he starts digging up old feelings, past memories, and forgotten promises that will only make you doubt the walls you’ve tried to put between you.

“I think you still have some tteokbokki left-”

“___.” Jungkook interrupts you, grabbing your hand. You feel the warmth of his skin, and you’re mortified and comforted at the same time. “I thought we would always speak comfortably with each other. No hiding, no walls – just the truth.”

“That was before the breakup,” you counter, barely able to hold his gaze. “There is no we anymore.”

“How can you say that when our whole lives have been intertwined? We can’t just pretend it all meant nothing, erase everything.”

“Being with me is an inconvenience for you, Jungkook.”

“Is that why you broke up?”

Ah, right. You never told him the real reason.

The night when you broke up with Jungkook was a bit chaotic.

You hadn’t planned on ending the relationship. Threads of worry had plagued you for some time, and you had been considering breaking up with him, but you never had the courage. You loved him, still do. And losing the one person you’ve trusted since childhood was terrifying.

But that night, while waiting for Jungkook at your favourite convenience store, you grew impatient. Waited for so long that you started eating ramyeon without him. As you sat by the window, gazing at the night sky, you decided that tonight you would break up.

Jungkook had always been busy, and you never minded it. Didn’t even mind it as you were eating ramyeon while pondering how to tell Jungkook. But Jungkook had so many things on his plate, so many worries, and you didn’t want to make his life more complicated by being his girlfriend. He tried so hard to always respond to your texts, tried to call at reasonable times instead of the middle of the night after practise, and promised to meet you at times other than when the sun had long fallen.

Jungkook needed to prioritise things that were more important to him.

And knowing his selfish tendencies, you needed to help him a little.

“Part of it, yeah,” you answer.

Jungkook doesn’t hesitate when he says, “You’re worth the inconvenience.”

You think he holds your hand a little tighter, but maybe you imagined it.

“I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you, and that night, I – I didn’t know if I would ever feel okay again.”

Jungkook was so used to you giving in. Was so selfishly used to having you whenever he wanted, that once you finally pulled away, his world had lost its gravitational pull. Suddenly, he was left adrift, circling aimlessly like a planet that had lost its orbit.

“I still don’t know. I miss you every night and keep wondering how to move on, but I’m not sure if that will ever happen. How do you move on from a love like ours?”

He’s known you for almost his entire life, and having you completely erased from his life felt like something he could never get over. Jungkook went a little insane. Everyone around him noticed his change in behaviour, but he pretended to be clueless, perhaps as a foolish act of hoping that you might return, change your mind, want him again, and never leave. It’s the hopeless romantic in Jungkook that makes him cling to shreds of hope for a better ending – a happy ending.

And maybe it’s not so hopeless after all, he thinks, as he watches your eyes sparkle with gentle love when you meet his gaze.

“Have you never thought about calling me?” he asks. “Never wanted to text back?”

“I almost do every night.”

“What makes you hesitate?” Jungkook steps closer, and it’s so dangerous, but you can’t keep pretending you don’t want him.

Which is why you whisper your next words, staring down at the small space retaining between your bodies.

“Because I know that I’d forgive and not fight.” You want to force your eyes back to him, but can’t. “It’s not like I wanted to break up. I just did it because I thought it was the wisest decision for us.”

“___.” It’s just a soft murmur of your name, slipping off his tongue with more love than it should, and it sends your heart fluttering far too easily. His voice draws your gaze up to him, and you’re met with eyes brimming with pure yearning and raw adoration. You never forgot how he looked at you, but you did underestimate the intense pull of his gaze – how it stirs something deep within you, even now.

“I thought it was for the better, but...” You trail off, lost in his eyes, forgetting what you were trying to explain and deny. Because what does it matter? How does anything matter when he’s here – when he’s here and not a single bit of his love for you has wavered?

Jungkook cups your cheek with his free hand. It pulls you closer to him. His thumb brushes gently across your skin, and the world outside of this moment blurs into insignificance.

You can feel your resolve crumbling, the walls you’ve built around your heart starting to fracture. It’s terrifying and comforting all at once, the way he’s always had this power over you – the way he can unravel you with just a look, a touch, a simple word.

“I don’t want to let you go,” Jungkook says, his voice tight with emotion. His hand remains on your cheek, as if he’s afraid you’ll slip away if he lets go.

“Neither do I,” you confess, barely believing your own words. But voicing it out loud seems to untangle something within you that had been knotted and confused for so long.

Jungkook’s eyes search yours, making sure he heard you right, that this moment is real and not just another dream he’s afraid of waking up from. His thumb stills on your cheek, and you can feel the warmth of his palm spreading across your skin, grounding you, anchoring you.

“Is this okay?” He leans in the slightest bit.

You nod, muttering a small “Yeah” as your gaze lingers on his sparkling eyes, the soft curve of his nose, the tiny mole beneath his lip – everything that reminds you of longing, comfort and the feeling of home.

The moment his mouth presses against yours, you feel a surge of warmth. It’s tender and soft, his mouth brushing against yours with a mix of hesitance and longing. As the kiss deepens it becomes more fervent, more urgent, as if he’s trying to convey everything he’s been holding back.

Your lips move with a slow, deliberate rhythm, and the touch of his tongue sends shivers down your spine. There’s a slight pressure as he cups your face, wanting you closer, while his other hand slides down your back, settling on your waist.

“I hope you know that I didn’t come here with these intentions.” Jungkook murmurs against your lips, his voice husky. But you guide him towards your bed.

“I know. It’s okay.” You straddle his lap. “You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want you to.”

Jungkook’s hands are eager and exploratory, skimming over your shoulders, your back, and down to your ass, giving it a firm squeeze. His chin rests in the crook of your neck as he breathes in deeply.

“You don’t know how much I missed you,” he mumbles, nose tickling your neck as he snuggles closer to you. “You missed me too, right?” he speaks with an innocent pout on his lips that you don’t even need to see – you know it’s there.

“Of course I did. Why would you think otherwise?” You run your fingers through his silky hair, which is a comfort for both you and him.

“I think I just need to hear you say it.”

He draws back, and a soft smile touches your lips as you see the achingly tortured expression contorting his face – traces of love and relief at having you so close, right where he wants you.

“I missed you.” You keep your eyes on him.

“Again,” he urges softly.

“I missed you.”

Your fingers gently curl around his face.

Jungkook’s lips brush against yours in a fleeting kiss. His forehead falls against yours as your words sink into him, straight to his heart.

“One more time? Please?”

A giggle slips out of you. “I missed you, Jungkook.”

Your laugh dies in your throat when he crashes his lips against yours, more forceful and passionate this time, pulling you so close to him, you feel everything.

Your hips move on their own, instinctively grinding against his lap. He’s hard and the bulge is right where you’re craving him the most. You kiss turns sloppy and needy and it’s filled with heavy breathing.

Jungkook’s hands are all over you. His touches leave tingling sparks everywhere. You’ve gone months without him, and every little brush of his finger makes you lose your mind. Especially when his hand dips into the front of your tiny shorts, lightly grazing the pad of his finger against your panties and making you twitch when he brushes over your clit. You break the kiss, inhaling sharply.

“I wanna make you feel good.” His words are hushed, a slight tremor tinging his voice. His fingers disappear into your panties, rubbing his middle finger along your folds and spreading your wetness. Jungkook is tender as he moves his finger, and you wish you could see him playing with you, watch him be so soft with you because he loves treating you with delicate care, and you love feeling like you’re everything to him.

Your hips buck as he circles your aching clit. You start whine softly as Jungkook applies a little more pressure, his steady, deliberate movements intensifying the sensations as he continues to rub your sensitive spot.

“You like it?” His gaze fixed intently on your reactions to his touches. His doe eyes drink up every nuance of your face and body – each twitch, shudder, and breath. His expression brightens with a trace of satisfaction.

“Feels good,” you reply shakily.

He has you making his fingers all sticky and wet. As Jungkook slowly teases your hole, drawing tiny circles and ever so slightly dipping the tip of his finger inside, your eyes close and your breath catches while you anticipate the familiar stretch of his finger.

Jungkook slides two fingers inside you, and your brows furrow as you feel them burying deep within your pussy. He moves them slowly, each stroke eliciting soft, breathy moans from you. The gradual, teasing rhythm amplifies your pleasure, and with each tender push, your senses heighten, making you ache for more.

“Move your finger like – oh. That’s right. Don’t stop, please.”

His fingers brush against your sweet spot continuously, making you grip his shoulders tightly, your nails digging into his skin as you try to anchor yourself and try to tame the soft trembles of your body as the pleasure reaches you everywhere.

Jungkook holds you close to him by having his hand placed firmly on the small of your back. He keeps you perched on his lap while you lose yourself in the feeling.

As the pleasure builds, you find yourself melting into him, whimpering his name in a gentle hush. The soft sounds of your voice blends with the rhythmic movements of his fingers.

Jungkook feels you tightening around him. He doesn’t increase his pace but keeps his steady pattern going, exactly how he knows you like it. You hide your face on his shoulder, overwhelmed by the fast-approaching high. Your muffled noises sharply contrasting with the squelching sounds coming your shorts.

“Let me see you,” Jungkook gently requests, tugging gingerly at your shirt to draw you back. It’s just a delicate tug, but it’s enough to pull you away from him. You’re too immersed by the intense feelings enveloping you to fully respond.

He catches the exact moment when your moan gets caught in your throat, your lashes flutter shut, and the sweetest glow settles on your face as you reach your climax.

He doesn’t tease you, instead, he lets you revel in the wave of euphoria that pulses through you, your thighs quivering as you gradually come down from your high. As our breath steadies, your foreheads touch, and you exhale heavily through your nose, tickling Jungkook’s face.

He smiles. His eyes reflect a deep satisfaction, because you’re happy and that’s enough.

Jungkook’s hands travel to your sides and he slowly strokes his palms up and down. Your body is warm and shaky and he wants to hold you forever.

“Is it okay that I want more?”

You nod, kiss him, probably a little deliriously, answering, “I want it just as much.”

Your hand glides under his sweater, fingers tracing the contours of his toned stomach. Jungkook wastes no a time pulling the sweater over his head, tossing it carelessly behind you. He helps you shimmy out of your shorts, discarding your clothes in a hasty rush, stealing giggly kisses between each movement, because you need to feel. He playfully comments on how cute your panties are. His finger lazily skims over the little pink ribbon before the material sinks slips down your legs and pools around your feet in a small heap. You giggle shyly.

Just as you want to sink onto your knees, Jungkook grabs you by the elbows, not letting you.

“Want you on the bed, ___. I need to feel you,” he says, voice strained with desperate need. Jungkook leads you onto the bed, gently laying you down. Your head sinks into the soft pillows. He spreads your legs, settling himself comfortably between them.

Your hair is fanned around your head against the pillow. Jungkook can’t help but stare, utterly captivated. He brushes a few strands away from your face, his fingertips lingering as if memorising every curve. His gaze holds a quiet affection, mingled with a sense of awe, like he is seeing you for the first time and falling for you all over again.

A curse slips his mouth as she stared down at your bare pussy, glistening and shining just for him, looking so pretty only for his eyes. For a few seconds, he allows himself to rub his tip over your wet folds. Just gentle brushes, nothing more. You don’t stop him, letting him play a little.

Jungkook is painfully hard, and he dares to slide his tip further down to tease your hole a little. His stare is fixed downcast while he pokes his cheek with his tongue to distract himself from the urge to push himself all the way as he minimally dips his head inside. Jungkook’s so sensitive, he thinks he could cum like this. He’d go insane if he slipped his cock into without protection. He’s let his mind wander to this fantasy a few times and he so desperately wants to feel all of you with no barrier, especially after not having you for so long, but you both have to be careful.

Someday, when you’re older, Jungkook thinks. When he can love you endlessly without always having to consider the consequences.

“Jungkook.” You pull him back to reality, and a faint pink flush colours his face.

He bends over and opens your nightstand drawer, searching for a condom. His fingers brush against several plastic foil packages, and he pauses, lost in thought. He thinks back to the last time he was over at yours. How many were left in the drawer then? Is his mind playing tricks on him, or were there more condoms the last time he was here?

While Jungkook’s mind drifts to you every night his head falls against the pillow in a different city each night – have you been letting other boys warm your bed?

You say his name again, forcing him out of his racing thoughts once more, this time with a note of impatience.

Jungkook tears open the wrapper, tosses it away along with his doubts, and focuses on you again. You chose him, and for now, that’s all that matters to him.

He rolls it down his length. Your eyes fixate on the slow connection of your bodies. Once he’s fully inside, a shaky whimper escapes your throat, trembling as it leaves you. Jungkook begins to move his hips with deliberate thrusts, and your head rolls back, eyes drifting to the ceiling as Jungkook finds his pace.

“You’re so pretty.” His eyes roam over your naked figure, so much adoration and maybe a hint of obsession hiding in them. The white covers beneath you are messy and chaotic, and you lie on top of them like a delicate masterpiece, a striking contrast to the chaos of the bed. The soft light casts a warm glow on your skin, highlighting every curve and contour. The soft swells of your boobs move with every thrust and he enjoys the sight of it.

You grow a little shy beneath his intense gaze. You turn your head and cover your face with your arm.

Jungkook lowers himself, clicking his tongue as he gently pulls your arm away. “Don’t.” His grip is firm on your wrist and he holds it against the covers, preventing you from hiding again. However, his hold on your chin is careful as he guides your gaze back to him. Fingers slightly caressing your skin. “I love everything about you, baby.” His words coax a small smile from you, which he acknowledges with an approving nod and a smile of his own. “You don’t need to hide from me.”

“It’s just been a while.” You bite your lip. The shyness still lingers, like spotting your crush in a crowded room and instinctively hiding, feeling all giddy inside.

Jungkook slows a little, buried so deep inside you, but his movements are precise, hitting the spot that makes your tummy clench.

“I know,” he says softly, tracing his thumb over your lip to free it from your clenched teeth. He plants a little kiss on your mouth, his tongue sliding over your bottom lip to soothe the ache you’ve caused yourself. “I don’t think I’ll last long,” Jungkook admits as his round nose brushes your cheek. You’re so wet and snug around him that he has to focus intently to keep from coming right away. You’re too good, too pretty, occupying every corner of his mind. “Missed you so much. You don’t even know.”

Jungkook’s head falls into the crook of your shoulder. His moans grow a little louder as he moves faster again. He can’t help himself. Feels too good. You wrap your legs around him, allowing him to bury himself even deeper. You pull him closer, throwing your arms around him to have him as close to you as possible while Jungkook repeatedly tells you how much he has missed you and loves you, how he never wants to let go of you and keep you to himself forever. How you are meant for him just as much he is meant for you.

Jungkook sneaks one hand between your bodies and grasps your breast. Keeps a firm squeeze around your flesh while your bed rhythmically hits the wall. All the tender murmurs and quiet gasps of your love had been missing from your room for so long that you began to doubt if Jungkook would ever again fill your bed with his warmth and whispers.

You feel the heat rising on your skin, growing with each passing second, and you can sense it on Jungkook’s body too. His back is hot, slightly slick with a sheen of sweat, and you can’t resist digging your nails into his muscled shoulders, leaving chaotic, frantic lines across his skin. A whine, which you try to suppress, tumbles from your lips as the tingling sensation spreads through you.

Jungkook pulls back, his movements weary yet determined, and peers at you through heavy-lidded eyes.

“Jungkook,” you mumble weakly, and he nods, because he knows.

With a gentle but firm motion, Jungkook shifts, guiding you both onto your sides. He slips an arm beneath your waist, holding you close to his chest as he continues to move inside you. The new position allows him to thrust deeper, and you gasp. His other hand slides down your thigh, hitching your leg over his hip to open you up further.

The intimacy of the position, with your bodies so close and intertwined, makes everything feel more intense, more personal. As you move together, your eyes lock. You see in his eyes the reflection of your own emotions, a mirror of longing, affection.

Tears begin to well up in your eyes, not just from the overwhelming pleasure, but from the sheer depth of the moment, the intimacy of it all, and how much you’ve missed him.

He notices the tears glistening in your eyes. “Baby,” he breathes. “Are those tears for me?”

“I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’m not letting you leave me again.” It’s a promise wrapped in desire. “That’ll never happen again.”

His hand on your waist grips you tighter, and his thrusts become more urgent until you’re both teetering on the edge.

Jungkook’s hips stutter as he loses control, and with one final, deep thrust, he’s all the way inside you, spilling into the condom with a low groan. At the same time, you reach your peak, your body clenching tightly around his length, breathy puffs escaping your lips as the intense tremors take over. Jungkook’s holds you steady through all of it.

He stays inside you, savouring the warmth and closeness for a few more moments before carefully pulling out. He presses soft kisses along your shoulder and neck, his breath still uneven as you both come down from the high.

Later, after Jungkook asked if it’s okay to stay – just as you had been plagued by the thought that he might want to leave, and sighed in relief upon realising you were on the same page, lovesick and obsessed after finding each other again – and after he asked if he could borrow one of his old t-shirts and you giggled, saying they are his anyway (they are more yours than his and you both know it), you’re now cuddled up in bed with your head on his chest, right on top of his heart where you belong.

“Forgot how comfy your bed is.” He nuzzles deeper into the mattress, wriggling beneath you.

“You should visit more often, then.”

Jungkook sniffs a surprised laugh at your flirty remark.

“I should, huh?” He brushes his knuckles over your back. “After the tour, I’ll make sure to drop by as often as possible,” he says. “So much that you might get sick of me.”

You smile. Banter and flirt and giggle with him a bit more before you both drift off to sleep.

But you wonder, every time your eyes flutter open in the dark, is it actually this easy to fall back into normality?

Pretend the last few months didn’t happen and continue as you had never been apart?

Questions swirl in your head all night long, but the answer to your doubts lies right beside you. Unlike you, he isn’t awake, grappling with what’s right and wrong – he’s softly sleeping, peacefully unconscious of your turmoil.

It makes you think, is it really this simple and you’re just too much? Or is it all a mess, and you’re the only one trying to make sense of it?

Maybe you had it all wrong.

And you wonder, the next morning, are you really that surprised to find the spot next to you empty?

[kianamaiart]

Hey hey! You’ve probably been asked this a lot but what made you want to start creating I Don’t Want To Be A Magical Girl?

Also I drew Akia in my style!

Hope you’re having a great day btw ! :0)

First of all this is so rad!!! I loooove how you drew her

And what made me want to make I Don't Want to be a Magical Girl... It was a lot of things! (im assuming you mean the pilot in general)

The idea started off as a stupid doodle/character design practice. It wasn't gonna be anything more than that. I just felt like drawing a cute character with a gun really hahaha.

It's not a particularly original premise and I didn't plan to do anything more with her (as I do with most of my ocs/designs). But I actually did really like this one and couldn't help but think of little ideas and scenarios with her. Things started ramping up in my brain more when I realized I could attach a personal story and personal experiences to it to make it feel less cliche. That's when I started designing the other characters and coming up with bios and stuff

And then that was gonna be it again. I'd maybe do a comic here and there but there was a combination of things that happened that led to me jumping in and making a pilot.

First of all, I had a two month hiatus coming up so I had so much time. I also decided to step down from my directors position to be a board artist again in the coming season. So I really wanted to get some storyboarding practice in and what better way to do that than with this character I ended up really liking? I also don't have a portfolio and I'd been wanting to make something that's very me rather than my work from an existing show.

I'd offhandedly mentioned to my editor at disney that I wanted to do a board for these characters and she told me she'd help me make an animatic if it ever came to that. I couldn't pass up that opportunity! Now, since it was gonna be an animatic and I didn't want it to just be my scratch, I reached out to a bunch of VA friends to see if they'd be interested and they were!

Then other than having that support, just seeing my friends work on their own personal projects has been really inspiring and made me want to also do my own thing! Me and my friend group had just made a whole video game for our friend as a bday present which was so creatively fulfilling and made me realize like "oh my god we're artists we can literally just make stuff".

In the past I'd been so afraid to share my original work and for similar fears I've never wanted to showrun despite having the opportunity to pitch. While it's flattering to be wanted there was this pressure that felt like "oh you HAVE to make something, you're wasting your talent otherwise." (lol this is ironically the thesis of idwtbamg). And as a qpoc, i'd felt this extra layer of pressure to have to make something perfect on all fronts because if i fail in any capacity, i'm failing my community. it'd just be another another reason for people to say "ah queer media and work centering poc just can't succeed." then on the other end, i can only do and write what i know and feared that other people in my community wouldn't resonate with it or would feel like it's inaccurate to their own experiences.

but that's an exhausting way to feel and i've finally decided for myself that i'm just gonna tell stories that are authentic to me and it will reach whoever it needs to reach~ this realization was kind of the final step i needed to push myself to go all in. and now we're here!

[muniimyg]

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ bbydaddy!jk (birthday) ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹

series m.list // taglist request closed

note: once upon a time ,, they were happy (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) .... here is a not-so-mini mini extra 🌟 happy birthday to jungkook ,, my op irl 🤨

timestamp: oc is nearly a month pregnant !! aka this happens before their break up. jk and oc are 28/29 yrs old in this extra …. during bbydaddy plot they are 32/33 (same birth year just month differences for bdays)

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @pamzn @defzcl @maryy1300 @whoa-jo @taetaecatboy @jksusawife @un06 @firesighgirl @rrosiitas @butterymin @parkinglot-nights @musicjournalsjdb @kissyfacekoo @jkslvsnella @vampcharxter @bloopkook @somehowukook @bbystarcandykoo

//

"nice try."

"yah, yah, yah! no—d-don’t push me out! honey, if you’re going to push me out... then you’re coming with me!"

jungkook playfully grabs hold of your wrist and starts to drag you toward the living room entrance. after a few steps, you groan and yank your wrist back. with a dramatic huff and an exaggerated roll of your eyes, you place both hands on his shoulders. jungkook groans but lets you push him out.

"this isn’t good for you, you know? you shouldn’t be doing any physical activity that might strain your body. ___, you’re pregnant—"

"they don’t know!" you hush him, pinching his sides. "jungkook, i’m just preparing your cake. it’s not that much effort, and you’re the one making this difficult—"

jungkook stands still and turns you around, wrapping his arms around you and resting his chin in the crook of your neck. together, you both gaze at the half-decorated cake. jungkook nuzzles closer, practically squishing your cheeks together.

"___... you threw me this surprise party all by yourself. you’ve been having morning sickness for the past week, yet you got up early to decorate our entire place with childish decorations just so i could wake up to something special. oh, and i can’t forget the fucking cake you baked—"

"it’s not done!" you panic. "it’s so ugly! you’re such a liar—"

"knowing you and your baking skills, it’s perfect."

"you haven’t even tasted it yet," you snap, crossing your arms. he holds you tighter, and you squirm from the change in pressure. "and what was that about the decorations? you think they’re childish? you’re the one obsessed with spiderman! you wanted spiderman themed—“

"because i am spiderman."

"grow up."

"okay... so that means growing old with you, right?" jungkook beams, planting a tender kiss on your cheek. you giggle as he starts showering you with affectionate kisses. pulling him away, you wipe your cheeks.

"yuck."

"you weren’t saying ‘yuck’ when we made a baby," jungkook teases. then he tilts his head back and raises his pitch dramatically. "uh huh! y-yes, jungkook! f-fuck—me... p—please! oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! cum inside... i want your cum so bad—"

"shut up!"

you cover jungkook’s mouth and glare at him.

"do you want cake or not? stop bothering me and let me finish up."

"i do, i do..." jungkook laughs. he mumbles a quick apology as he brings your hands to his lips, kissing them gently, his eyes begging. "___, can you please take a seat and join them? i’ll ask yoongi and jimin to finish decorating the cake. come on, ___... i don’t want you working so hard—"

"no," you say firmly. "i can do it. jungkook, i’m barely in my first trimester!" you reassure him by placing his hand on your stomach. jungkook pats it and purses his lips. in response, you squish his lips together. with a sweet, coaxing tone, you continue, "it’s your birthday. come on, honey... enjoy this. just have a good time—"

jungkook dips his head and kisses you.

you kiss him back, smiling as you pull away. quickly, you think of a way to get rid of him. he hates the way your eyes light up... he just knows you’ve made a plan.

"i have a present for you," you sing. "… but i’ll only give it to you if you leave."

jungkook pouts.

"honey, i told you... our baby is my gift this year!"

you cup his cheek with one hand. "is that how precious your creampies are?"

jungkook snorts. "yes. you have a problem with that?"

"too late if i do," you laugh, pointing at your belly. "i’m gonna have a problem with you in a few seconds if you don’t get out of our kitchen. please—for the love of god—go. have fun with your friends! i’ll show you your present later."

he whines and stomps his foot. you gasp at his childishness.

"jungkook... seriously," you peel him off you. "you know what? you have one guess. if you get it right, you get to have it now. if not, you have to go out and party."

"is it sex?” he giggles. “got you pregnant already, not really sure what else we could do—no choking. i will never choke you—"

"shut up."

he laughs and holds you tight. for a moment, you two stay like this, wrapped in each other’s arms, happy and savoring the moment.

you both had a hunch, but officially found out you were pregnant just a week ago. you’re almost four weeks along, but the news has already sparked so much change in your relationship.

for instance, jungkook has been constantly protective and proactive when it comes to you. yet, you continue to push through and get things done. from work to household chores, nothing is slowing you down. jungkook can’t help but be amazed and deeply in love with you. honestly, it feels like he hasn’t fully processed that you’re carrying his child.

you’ve done so much for him. more than words could ever express—you’ve shown him so much of what love and life have to offer. so when you say you have a gift for him, he can hardly believe it. why would you do such a thing? why would you give him more than this? he doesn’t deserve it. he doesn’t deserve you.

since the beginning of your relationship, you’ve always been incredibly attentive to jungkook. not to mention, you’re adored by his family. from knowing how to cook his favorite meals (so much so that he always looks grumpy while eating) to being the only person he wants to see at the end of the day—you’ve given him so much comfort and hope in his life. to have a baby with you is an honor. he thinks to himself that he must have done something extraordinary in his past life to deserve a woman like you. you're so inspiring in so many ways... you're self-made. you're incredible.

a person who truly cares for him.

a person who is after his heart.

a person who is his entire heart.

see, he’s always believed there are only two ways love can go: to love someone or to be loved by someone. however, after loving you and being loved by you, he’s come to the conclusion that there is another way.

to be love.

that’s exactly what you are to him.

so, because he loves you, jungkook gives in. he hugs you one more time before heading to the living room. he joins his friends and starts the karaoke party. you stay in the kitchen, finishing off the cake.

a few minutes later, you walk into the living room with the cake, and candles lit.

"happy birthday, jungkook!"

everyone joins in, singing heartily. jungkook wraps his arms around you as he leans forward to blow out the candles.

"what did you wish for?" jimin asks.

jungkook smiles warmly.

"time."

before everyone leaves, jungkook insists they help clean up. yoongi and jin tackle the dishes, while taehyung and hobi straighten up the living room. jimin takes out the trash, and you and jungkook pack up extra food for everyone to take home.

once the place is spotless and everyone has left, jungkook suddenly scoops you up, effortlessly hoisting you over his shoulder and carrying you into the bedroom. he gently places you on your side of the bed, tucking you in with a tender touch. he grabs the book you’ve been reading from the nightstand and switches on the soft glow of the reading lamp.

"rest," he says softly.

you cross your arms, pouting a little. "it’s only 11:50 p.m... you kicked everyone out so early."

"my birthday is over," he replies with a shrug.

"you’ve still got ten more minutes," you counter, your voice teasing.

jungkook ignores your comment and climbs into bed beside you. he wraps an arm over your hips and rests his head on your tummy, his face nuzzling into you as he lets out a contented sigh.

"should we start thinking of baby names?" he yawns, his mind already running through a list. you laugh softly, setting your book aside, and it doesn’t take long before your fingers are threading through his hair, playing with the soft strands.

"what's the rush?" you murmur, your voice calm and reassuring. "we have time."

he can’t shake the feeling that there’s never enough time, that it’s always slipping away too quickly. yes, there’s always another day, another schedule, another moment pulling him away. but there will never be another this—another moment just like this. he feels the weight of every ticking second, even now, as he lies in bed with you.

is it strange that he’s going to miss this? being wrapped around you, resting his head on your tummy, waiting for your unborn child... it still feels like everything could slip away.

"there’s never enough time," he murmurs, his voice muffled against the soft fabric of your shirt. his fingers trace idle patterns on your side, trying to memorize the feel of you beneath his touch. he wants everything, wants this moment last.

if he could ask for forever, he’d ask for it now.

you run your fingers through his hair slowly, your touch light and soothing, as if you’re trying to calm the storm raging inside him.

"... technically, time is infinite—"

"shut up," he groans, a small smile tugging at his lips despite himself. "don’t be a lawyer right now. i’m being serious."

you laugh softly. "i am being serious... jungkook, we have all the time we need, always."

he wants to believe you, wants to let your words sink into the parts of him that are always rushing, always afraid of running out of time. jungkook tilts his head up slightly, his chin resting on your stomach as he looks up at you.

your eyes meet his, full of warmth and understanding, and something inside him begins to soften. in this moment, he feels it—he just believes you.

"wanna know something?" you whisper, brushing your thumb against his temple, your touch anchoring him. "my time is yours, always."

jungkook shuts his eyes, letting your words wash over him, feeling them confront the ever-present fear of losing time. he feels you shift slightly, your hand moving away for a moment before returning, something cool and heavy pressing into his hand. he opens his eyes to see a watch—a rolex—gleaming softly in the dim light. he looks from the watch to you, his heart tightening with emotion.

"my time is yours... this—it’s so you always know," you say, smiling gently, your eyes filled with love. "there’s always enough time for us. i promise you that, jungkook. i promise you forever."

jungkook is at a loss for words. his heart feels full, and his head is swimming with emotion. he sits up and pulls you into a tight hug, kissing you deeply until you have to playfully push him away. you laugh softly, turning your attention back to the watch.

"i know it’s a rolex and all... but i had it engraved," you say with a grin.

jungkook flips the watch over and sees a date inscribed on the back.

"your birthday?" he chuckles, a smirk playing on his lips.

you can’t help but laugh again. "yes... and it’s also the first time i knew i loved you. remember? we met three months before my birthday. i had a mock trial that day, and you showed up during my fifteen-minute recess with a cupcake. we weren’t even officially together... and you drove in the pouring rain, four cities away, and skipped an exam just to see me. just for fifteen minutes. back then, i remember thinking... you must be insane. but you lit my candle in the pouring rain and kept re-lighting it until i got to blow it out... then, you asked me for my wish."

"oh yeah!" jungkook recalls, a smile spreading across his face. "you never told me what you wished for."

"that birthday... i wished that if i were to love someone... it had to be you... jungkook, you came right on time. so, happy birthday, honey! i loved you first which means i'll love you forever."

that night, jungkook changes all his passwords to your birthdate. not because it’s the day you were born, but because of the precious memory you shared with him. it’s the day his life truly began to change.

maybe you’re right, he thinks. maybe time is infinite. maybe, with you, he has all the time in the world.

in other words; he wants forever with you.

[snowball-doie]

aurora's note: here we go, squad. a masterlist for my very long manager!oc x johnny book that i've been yapping about forever lol. you guys know me, when i'm not posting chapters, i love to reply to your guys' asks with questions and ideas, so feel free to send those my way as i ever so slowly get chapters uploaded!! <3

disclaimer(s): this is a story written with creative freedom, so although many details align with real moments, the timeline might not add up to irl, i add my own plots, create my own characters, and so on to help the story along. my own characters are: aurora, kay, hwayoung, seyeon, hayoon, haneul, shiwoo. all original characters appearing in this work are fictitious. any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

join the taglist

[1] starting work, aug. '18

[2] necklaces, oct. '18

[3] heavy on the simping, '20

[4] first date, dec. '20

[5] mountain view, dec. '20

[6] new friend, dec '20

[7] late nights, jan. '21

[8] first time, feb. '21

[9] i love you, mar. '21

[10] mafia live, jun. '21

[11] aurora's birthday, sep. '21

[12] first anniversary, dec. '21

[13] the link, dec. '21

[14] moving in, jan. '22

[15] johnny's bday, feb. '22

[16] met gala, may '22

[17] kay's visit, may '22

[18] audition, jun. '22

[19] work....... affairs, jul. '22

[20] mark has a crush, oct. '22

last updated: 17 june 2025

[onlyswan]

jk releasing 3d on my birthday has been the greatest bday gift ever. ITS BEEN ON REPLAY NONSTOP 😋😋😋😋😋😋🤞🤞

what do you think oc’s thoughts and reactions were when they first listened to it??😭😭😭i need to know, art

summary: in which jungkook is crazy about you, and he sings songs about it.

> idol!jungkook x reader, est. relationship / fluff, suggestive / word count: 0.5k

> content/warnings: allusions to phone s*x and well… s*x, finally found the perfect time for oc piercing reveal :P

> in which masterlist!

note: BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LINA BELOVED 💕💕💕you’re a source of light in my life and i’m so grateful for your existence <3 i hope all your wishes come true <333 lol surprise. i got bored this morning so here’s a baby drabble for u 🫶🏼 (i did say i’m taking a break from writing in oct and it’s sept 30 today so…)

—

jungkook pauses 3D at the 3:20 mark before the song can start playing again on loop, and then he looks at you with an excited grin painted on his face.

“so, what do you think?!”

you remain quiet under the weight of his tattooed arm swung around your shoulders, fiddling with his fingers as you always do when you can’t seem to sit still. it’s a contrast to the wide-eyed gasps and bright giggles elicited from you when his sultry singing voice filled all the empty corners of your shared apartment.

“mhmm…? why is my baby quiet all of a sudden?” he chuckles, nose nudging your cheek before he plants a kiss on the soft flesh.

“you were thinking of me?”

your eyes finally meet, and the curious sparkle he sees in yours makes his heart uncontrollably race inside his ribcage.

damn, he’s whipped.

“uh-uh. are you serious?”

you feign innocence, eyes going wider, surprised at his reaction.

“oh, don’t act all cute!” he exclaims, leaning back to watch an amused smile gradually form on your lips. “who else calls me in the middle of rehearsals and whines because they’re feeling needy? at three in the morning! three! huh? tell me!”

“oh my god, shut up! when will you stop bringing that up?!” you lightly punch his thigh, ashamed of your shamelessness when your yearning for your boyfriend reaches an all-time high. now that you’re being spoiled rotten with physical affection, you can no longer fathom how you used to survive it before, being distant from him for months on end. “that’s more you!”

he blinks at you, contemplating for a moment as he combs through his collection of hazy memories. “you mean, during rehearsals or at three in the morning?”

you only raise an eyebrow in response, and the corners of his eyes crinkle as he bursts into a fit of giggles. uh-oh, this is what you must look like when you scold him for being frisky over the phone while you’re out in public, forcing you to bring the brightness of your phone all the way down or to hastily plug in your earphones.

the truth is he wants to kiss you more when you get a little mean, though he refuses to say it out loud because he knows that you won’t ever stop using it against him the same way you purposely wear red when you want to test his self-control.

“alright, so i’m crazy about you, and i even sing songs about it. sue me!”

you intertwine your fingers together, concealing a smile by planting a chaste kiss on the purple heart permanently inked on the back of his hand. “i’d rather touch you.”

at that, his hooded gaze travels down south where your crop top couldn’t reach, watching your stomach unsteadily rise and fall, and the butterfly-shaped jewelry that pierces your belly button seems to flutter its wings with every breath you take.

his teeth tugs at his bottom lip before his tongue sweeps over it, a cheeky smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“would you mind if i touch you first?”

—

taglist in the reblogs! send an ask/dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

—

[cookikiixp]

Finally i could finish my perfect love oc MIMI after being so passionate about it w my friends i really adore games like this And make silly au's between us hehehe when i first discovered it i made people around me play it too it's really awesome so yeah here she's after my precious passion for omori i now have two fandoms that i adore so much and have OCS w them!!

MIMI :3

I'm sorry if it's not really creative or accurate at all but i made her right after i played the game so i could enjoy it w my friends and draw etc i don't know if it'll get like big attention like kiki but still i adore all the support ｡⁠:ﾟ⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)ﾟ⁠:⁠｡

a little more detailed version down below (the milo chibis belong to the game devs)

also my other friends included who has ocs (i told them to make :p)

matt: @star-achlys

yuna: @captryuhikari

scara(actually Mimi's toxic ex): @icedcatoffe

lera doesn't have a Tumblr but he's on insta!!(it was supposed to be lara but a typo)

She has the same bday as Kiki and me i love giving my bdays to my ocs so i never forget

And some sprites I've made to use (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

left has a background right side doesn't and has transparent background (idk why but yeah i tried my best :{ )

i hope she's cool enough I'm gonna cry it already stresses me so much i don't wanna ruin anything she's so precious to me and i adore the game I'll probably be attached to the game for a long time and not be able to forget it just like omori it has my heart too now i hope it's not bad or weird of me i just feel a bit nervous like really nervous

perfect love vn by: @perfectlovevn (im sorry for the tag i feel so awkward i never talked directly w game devs through any posts nor smth similar so I'm scared of messing smth up while trying my best to leave a good impression 😭)

milo doodles and also the style belongs to them it's so unique

this is again includes ocxoc maybe slight ocxcanon but I don't know it probably will be with premilo bc he's the closest to basil hehuwhsh 😭💔thanks for the amazing experience i won't forget this fandom ever 😋

i also tried a fanart of premilo to improve my skills of this precious art style (I'm not good in writing in character forgive me hwaha)

AAA IM GOING INSANE OKAY ENOUGH IM CRYING I HOPE IT'S GOOD ENOUGH YAY FUCKING PERFECT LOVE IS AWESOME💥

and no having another oc does NOT MEAN I'M LEAVING THE OMORI FANDOM 💔

Ily all sm ty for reading till here wishing everyone the best 🫂

ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

[hoseoksluna]

SMOKE, i. | myg

pairing: idol!yoongi x smoke!oc (ft. bangtan)

genre: angst

word count: 6.8k

summary: everything that begins also ends.

pinterest board: smoke / taglist: join

warnings: suicide ideation, yoongi has deep feelings that he hasn't felt in a long time, sexual innuendos, yoongi has brief dirty thoughts, alcohol consumption, talks of alcohol, social anxiety and feelings of anxiety in general, jungkook has mint hair, covid and the pandemic, talking to a dead loved one, jealousy, envy, anger, crying, yoongi's bad shoulder.

note: welcome to the brand new yoongi series! i can't believe this baby is alive and ready for you to read. i struggled with this a lot, since it's written in a way i've never tried before. yoongi's pov, first person—like what? i thought this chapter was pretty shitty as i didn't feel comfortable writing in this style, but i pushed through, felt like it was meant to be—which is why i need tons of your validation. i was also kinda sad today, so please send your love. :( fyi, jungkook may be a huge part of the beginning of this story, but this is not steam pt 2. jungkook won't be present as much later on. no polyamory here. *spoiler* he just brought oc to yoongi and then he will lovingly go away, dw. :) enjoy this first chapter, i can't wait for many more! kisses.

side note: happy bday to us! mwah.

It was a bang, what happened in our group. 

A bomb that blew off in Jungkookie’s trembling hands when he shared the news. A decision that wasn’t really collectively discussed, not even privately with Namjoon—but an information that erupted among us as we sat in the lounge room of the venue, refreshing ourselves with snacks and drinks after the tough soundcheck we had. I had a bottle of Hennessy in my hands myself, about to pour myself some liquid courage in order to chase away the bitter ire I had swirling in my veins, but hearing his words made me forget about the nectar right away. 

He was bringing along a female friend for the tour. 

The ire turned sour in my bloodstream. 

He must’ve lost his mind. 

And what’s worse, I was the only one who looked at him as if he were a lunatic. The members squealed and hollered, clapping their hands, shouting different variations of words of, “Jungkookie got a girlfriend!” that made him blush so profusely that he wasn’t able to reciprocate any of our eye contact. 

Especially not mine. 

I was fuming, taking breaths that hurt my lungs. The bottle of liquid courage damn nearly broke, but I didn’t feel a thing. How could I—when amidst the ruckus and the soft smiles of our staff my feelings parted and melted into a crossroad that I began to stand in the middle of. 

One way led to selfishness, the other to the very polar opposite of it. 

Jungkook didn’t deal with the pandemic well. His skin was invariably lined with a certain sensitivity towards forlornness and when the mandate forced upon him a pressure of being abandoned—by us and by his long time flirt that was the driving force behind his creativity, besides Army themselves—he didn’t take it well. Crawled inside himself, even deeper within when our management canceled our Map of the Soul tour and we had to stay bricked up inside our homes for a full year. 

He was crestfallen and despondent, a decaying human. No girlfriend, no Army. No band members to slap his back, cook him food and distract his mind from the loneliness. 

Except for me. 

I was the one who made time for him. Who visited him, despite our management’s strong disliking for it. I went around them and did it without anyone’s knowledge but Jungkook’s. With a mask and health in perfect condition that I took care of more for him than for anyone else. Our relationship blossomed to highs that overgrew the bricked walls of our mandatory, artificial castle. A peach honeysuckle vine that we watched as much as we could while I wrote poems to him in my heart to alleviate his ache. It was spring and one, singular  hummingbird would fly in to listen to my words while inhaling the sweetened perfume of those pale orange flowers or the fragrance of the natural honey I would buy him and pour over the pancakes I would make for him. A comfort food, a symbol of our secret meetings. A butterfly would sit on the small creature’s back, just to look over its wings and be a witness to a mind’s mending, an afternoon’s tea mixed with dark liquor that would always fade to noraebang. 

The key to Jungkook’s heart. 

I don’t know how the little fella found us, but I wish his wings would sense us here. There’s no windows for him to look out of, but the craving in me for it to fly in and save the day, remind Jungkook who’s been here for him this whole time, blossoms in me just like those peach flowers. 

The castle has collapsed a tiny bit, but the honeysuckle remains untouched. 

Or at least I hope so. 

The other, non-selfish way is simple. Our work had been put off for so long and now that we’re able to pick it back up—in a way that isn’t as satisfactory as I’d want it to be, of course, for the only faces we’ll be seeing beyond the stage are the ones of camera lenses, not the ones belonging to our beautiful Army—there’s a distraction, an external person who could never understand the gravity of that pain we all went through. 

This was supposed to be a precious time shared between us. Another mending of some sort—as our job is the chambers of our hearts. 

And now as I look at her, I feel her playing with those strings of my heart like a harp. And I have that terrible feeling that she will open the doors to each chamber and ruin everything we’ve worked so hard for. 

In spite of the fact that she didn’t do anything wrong. It’s a gut feeling that consumes me and I can’t do a thing about it, not even admit that it gives me the tiniest hint of a thrill that I’ve been craving for so long. 

Jungkook wasn’t the only one affected by the loneliness that came with the mandate. I gave my all to him and always walked out of his door empty—with no one to refill me. 

Performing again was supposed to do the job, but it seems as though she’s come in to hijack it.

Announcement, the ruffling of his hair and multitudes of teasing aside, we had an hour and half left until the beginning of our first show in Seoul. Jungkook left us, with cheeks as darkened as poppies in the summer, with a staff member and our bodyguard to pick her up at a designated meeting spot nearby. He hadn’t eaten all day—not before our dismal soundcheck and certainly not during our hair and makeup session. A ribbon of worry curled tightly in my gut that unfurled once he filled his plate with hotdogs after introducing her to us.

No shaking of hands, only Jungkook’s hand pointing at each member while his mouth gave life to their names. And she didn’t nod her head, not even once, as she moved to greet and smile at every face, which caused me to think that she either already knew of us, either due to our popularity or due to Jungkook’s stories—or both. 

But when it was my turn, her smile faltered.

I didn’t see much of her face, for she wore a black mask. And the only part of her features I was able to see spoke to me in a foreign language I was too pissed off to decipher.

Feline eyes. 

Round and wispy, so terribly cat-like that it cut through my heartstrings she played with and then abandoned. She held my gaze so unfathomably deeply and it wasn’t until she whisked her eyes away that I realized she, irrevocably, clutched time in her hands. It had stopped during that brief moment and resumed as if nothing happened. 

It unnerved me. 

As did my strange feelings as I took in the personality of her outer form. 

She wore a long silky dress, as black as her energy and her hair nearly akin to the length of that garment. Its hem brushed against her ankles with every movement she made and her feet were shod in a pair of heels that would puncture my heart if she so much as wished so. Over her shoulder hung a matching, leather purse and I noticed something that bruised, most peculiarly, my flesh. 

The clasp of her chain strap had a chubby Grookey Pokémon caged as a keychain. 

I found it as adorable as absolutely dangerous. Still do as my eyes can’t help but to watch it twirl. 

She’s a dangerous black cat, with her claws tucked in. And the entire night coils in her eyes, dressing her in innocence and a simultaneous seductiveness that make my lungs swell. 

A quintessence of beauty, she is.

After the introduction is over, Jungkook pulls out a chair for her beside him, sitting down and not wasting a second as he stuffs his mouth full with one of the hotdogs. The monkey bounces with her movement and it’s only now that my brain puts two and two together. The monster almost matches the minty tinge of Jungkook’s dyed hair with its plump, green body. 

None of them know that I match him, too. 

A leaf of the same plant swirls in my glass of whiskey. 

And the notion of iciness that it adds to the bitterness of the liquid turns to ash in my mouth as I take a sip. I, myself, sit on the armrest on the couch, alone—but not alone physically. Hobi rests, leisurely, next to me and she’s stolen glances at him more times than I like. Looked at him while completely avoiding the ring of protectiveness I’ve conjured around myself. 

She does good, but it spreads fire to the strangeness of my feelings that I can’t name. 

Is she throwing a rope around another one of the boys? Her claws itching to rise? 

Who’s next? 

I sigh as she laughs, softly, at something Namjoon says and it deepens my ire. Namjoon should’ve made order as the leader of our group. Should’ve said no to Jungkook at the unfolding of his news and keep the number of our group to seven. Especially when our time together is this precious. 

Not chatting her up and coaxing that wonderful sound out of her.  

“Can we get you anything to drink?” Namjoon asks, waving his hand in the direction of the alcohol station out far in the left corner of the lounge room. A mint plant mocks me as my eyes flick to it while I take another sip. The reason why it’s there in the first place is because Jimin likes his mojitos. 

He sips on it like it’s a Capri-Sun as I swallow the dark liquid after swirling it in my mouth for a moment, the bitterness doing nothing to stifle my ire. 

“No,” she says, feebly, brushing her fingers down the length of her ebony hair before tossing it over her shoulder, giving me a perfect look of one singular strand that has been dyed in the same pale green color that is suffused all though Jungkook’s hair. The shade, but darker, more sinister, imbues my blood with envy. It’s not that soft color, redolent of spring meadows, by any chance. It’s an ancient, vague memory of a forest once in full bloom that is now withering and dying at dusk. How long has he been seeing her that they reached this base? “I don’t drink hard liquor, but thank you.” 

Namjoon licks his lips, spreading his arms over the two empty chairs beside him. “Ah,” he laments, smiling at her, gently. “You don’t drink at all?” 

Jungkook lifts his head from his plate, laughing through his nose as he chews his food, his mouth forming into that bunny smile of his. He knows something I don’t and my green blood boils. 

The cat girl grins, her head twisted in Jungkook’s direction when she laughs, the skin under her chin rounding out, and my chest tightens in endearment at the sight of it. 

The cutest fucking double chin I ever have the eyes to see. 

Fuck. 

“Oh, she drinks,” Jungkook says, his words muffled due to his full cheeks, the food inside showing as he continues to be all smiles.

The cat girl pinches his arm, but owing to the thick fluffiness of his jumper, she doesn't reach skin, and therefore doesn't inflict the pain she intended. Jungkook pretends to moan in pain, anyway. My chest tightens again—this time for a beat longer. 

An oddity flies through my vision, slicing through my envy. 

Her claws sinking into my bare skin as I let her playfulness out—

I shake that picture out of my head as quickly as it arrives, running my fingers through my strands that had fallen in front of my eyes. The girl helps my effort by speaking, distracting me from the faint rush of lust that begins to course down my body. 

I can’t get hard. 

“Yeah, I only drink wine,” she reveals, coyness entwining around her tone, and she kneads her hands, struggling with her straight posture. 

Another distraction, one that softens, most peculiarly, my lust. 

If I were born with deaf ears, I would’ve known she was fighting through her shyness by one glance at her body language and I don’t blame her. 

She doesn’t have only seven pairs of eyes watching her. She’s the apple of fifteen more if I include our staff, sound engineers and our management. 

If I weren’t the person I was and if this wasn’t my job, I would have run the first chance I got. A certain admiration envelops my heart the more I study her toy with her fingers, soothingly, because of a reason that aches to admit. 

A reason far from plain. 

She’s the same as me. Uncomfortable by and disliking any public event with people involved, especially if you’re put in a position to talk. 

A bond forms and I can’t stop it. I can’t rip it apart even as I willfully try in my headspace to cut off that red string tied around my heart, leading to hers. I can’t because she eventually slouches, giving up, her spine protruding towards me through the open back of her dress, for she’s turned her body towards Namjoon, who sits at the head of the table, but I figure she did it in order to be closer to Jungkook to gain some comfort from him. The skin of her back is refulgent and tanned, scattered with little blemishes that connect, like constellations, to a night sky full of birthmarks, and that only add to her beauty.

Her whole back is filled with them, stirring my wonder. And, unknowingly, she let me see by sweeping her hair to one side. I wonder if Jungkook has seen them and appreciates them as much as I do—

Jungkook burps, obscenely loudly, setting down Hobi’s unfinished can of Sprite that he left on the table. I’m sure Hobi’s regretting making that mistake, but when I look at him, he’s smiling so widely that I can see his gums and I’m so astounded by that view that I’m thrown off my balance. 

Even more so, when I check the reactions of the other members and begin to feel shame descending down my own spine like cold sweat. Jimin has hearts thumping in his eyes, raising his hand in the girl cat’s direction, connecting with her as he says he loves a good bubbly. Taehyung, sitting on the direct opposite side of Jungkook by the table with his arms crossed and his face flushed intones that tonight after the show he will break his sobriety streak. Jin joins the table and flicks Taehyung’s forehead, tells him he doesn’t have to break anything while taking a huge bite of his banana. And Namjoon… he laughs, hands intertwined upon the back of his head. 

The whole table laughs, in fact.

Hobi does beside me, too.

I’m the only one who doesn’t, steeped in my uncertainty as I am. 

They all bask in comfort and gaiety. There’s no awkwardness, no unspoken words or silence that hangs heavily in the air. There’s no need for our hummingbird; no need to change directions, play pretend or act accordingly to the new situation because there’s absolutely nothing new about the atmosphere I find myself to be in. Everything is as if it were just the seven of us. 

Making jokes, lighthearted energy, connections lengthening and digging deep… 

I haven’t seen that, been a part of that in so long. 

I was wrong—and the shame, stemming from my wrong impression and unwarranted fear, washes out the envy from my blood. It stands, arm to arm, with my life-long emptiness and I bow my head down, licking my lips.

I wish to exit myself out of this room. 

I wish my heart wasn’t so sensitive. 

I wish— 

“It’s her birthday today and I bought so many bottles of champagne and wine,” Jungkook says, running his tongue over his teeth, and my head lifts; my heart enlarges before it shrinks, painfully, magnifying my shame until it grazes the flesh like a shard. It’s her birthday? “I’ll need your help, guys. We’re not celebrating here tonight. After the show, we’re going to my place.” 

It’s not peach honeysuckle that I’m thinking of. Not pancakes. Not our hummingbird and butterfly as the boys cheer all over again, wishing her happy birthday. 

It’s her that I’m thinking of. 

And how much I messed up. 

He brought her here to make her birthday special—to be with her on the day that carries her name, not to replace me.

It explains why she’s so magnificently dressed up; why she’s putting her feet through so much pain in those heels of hers. 

Just for one night. And I’ve managed to ruin it so majestically with my energy. No wonder she won’t look at me; no wonder her eyes won’t even sweep past me en route to Hobi’s chocolate fountain that his eyes emanate. 

Mine are nothing but death. I don’t blame the decline of her smile as her pools met it. A kitty cat that looked at the face of a skull. It symbolized the end of time and now I perceive that it epitomizes the end of me. 

The longer she’s present, the more I loosen the consuming negativity that I’ve lived for so long in compliance with—because now I’m soft. 

I’m gutted I made her feel awful to be here with my dark energy. 

“Jungkook, you should’ve told us that was the reason why you brought her along. We would have welcomed you with a happy birthday song,” Namjoon says, his palm lifted towards Jungkook and her while his other hand reminds behind his head. 

I can’t see her smile. Not even a hint of it in her eyes, for this time around she doesn’t turn around to steal a glance at Hobi. And I wish she would, with a strength that I’m in awe that I’m even possessing, because I find myself yearning to look at her face, amidst my softness. 

I misjudged her so terribly that the yearning doubles as she presses her hands against her cheeks amidst the overbearing attention. Becomes a need—a need to fix what I so unfairly have broken. 

And jealousy thunderstrikes in my system when Jungkook bumps his shoulder into hers, gently, his head tipped low, fixed in her direction as she struggles, once again, in her shyness. Straightens her spine just in time for Jungkook to curl a finger around her ear and take off her black mask. 

I’m so jealous everyone else gets to see her face fully that indignation supersedes my past ire and my softness and I’m quickly up on my feet, ready to walk out to breathe in some fresh air but something else steps into my plan. 

And it’s not her. 

It could never be her. 

Staffs members circle around us, guiding us out of the room to wire us up. But I stall my time, purposefully staying behind so I can look at her. I pretend to exercise my pain from my shoulder surgery by rolling it and making a face. Jungkook whispers something to her, her face pointed upwards as he stands before her while she remains sitting and I’m so bothered by it that it calls out the pain, incites it to come haunt me again. 

Everyone else had something to say to her—and yet I still haven’t, owing to my foolish mistake. Self-hatred fastens to my anger and I can’t breathe, my lack of knowing what to say to her when the time comes worsening my feelings. 

The boys leave the room and it’s just me and her. The staff member knows not to push me, but the pressure in her eyes is the driving force that takes my legs to the kitty girl. 

She sits so awfully forlornly in her chair, reminds me so much of Jungkook, her spine back to slouching, that marvelous pillar protruding again and my lungs do that thing they seem to automatically do whenever I see that part of her. 

She hears my footfalls as I approach her, but she doesn’t turn around. I ignore the way it makes me feel, the heaviness that comes with it, too. She, in most probability, thinks I’m walking out of this room without saying a word to her, but I’m not capable of that. 

Not anymore. 

I call out her name and, in surprise, she lifts her spine. Turns around, at last, the sleek fabric of the dress adding swiftness to the movement and I see her face. Her full mouth that compliments, most perfectly, her big feline eyes. And I think about how much her dark, sensual energy doesn’t mirror her personality, her coyness that hides inside until someone speaks to her. Her chin is so small that my fist would still be empty if I held it in the way my body asks for, but the look she gives me diminishes the lust that slowly begins to crawl again within me. 

It’s one that bears a different kind of shyness. It’s fear-induced respect and the hatred towards myself thickens. 

I don’t want her to feel this way, but I molded it in her. 

It’s my fault. 

It’s why I think twice before I tell my fingers no, for they ache to drum against the top edge of her chair in effort to linger in her proximity. I won’t encourage her discomfort when I yearn to wipe it clean. But when she inhales my prolonged silence and raises her thin brows in waiting, the tiniest sliver of a smile quivering on her lips, she doesn’t know it—but she somehow gives me the words I was lacking. 

“Did Jungkook tell you where to go?” I ask, softly, fearing her knees will turn away from me, her body language divulging to me the depth of her uneasiness around me. But she remains put, the pillows of her lips balancing at last as they stretch out in a small grin that I don’t deserve. 

Her slender nose crinkles. 

My heart forgets to beat.

“No, he told me to wait here and that Min-ji will take me to a room where I can watch you, guys, perform on the TV,” she says, her grin making it difficult for her to get the words out and she blushes. There must be some other, silent language shared between our bodies because I discover myself smiling, too, even though there’s nothing from her sentence that can possibly be the cause of it. 

The energy shifts, devastatingly, and heat clings to my skin, dispersing relief down my nerve endings. 

All while buzzing tingles chase it, hastily, grabbing it by the back of its shirt and consuming it. 

It’s strange, so terribly strange to be consumed by nervousness when I’ve been used to nothingness and emptiness for so long. 

And her eyes seem to grow bigger, despite the irrepressible dynamism of her fear. Is she gaining thrill out of it—to be staring at the face of breaking death like the small kitten she is and knowing it’s her power that influences me? 

Those eyes. If my ears weren’t bombarded by Hobi’s sound effects wafting down the hall and into the lounge room, mingling with the rise and fall of Jungkook’s voice as he warms it up, I swear I can hear the song of swallows in them. She’s a manifestation of a summer evening in her fear and nervousness, when those birds go mad in the tender blues and pinks of the sky—and I don’t know why I like it so much. Why I want to seize it in my hand and squeeze it. 

And she’s about to be all alone here with it while I go join the rest of my brothers. 

It’s something that doesn’t feel right. 

The staff member taps me on my back. Time is against me—why doesn’t she control it? I swivel behind me to catch her nodding her chin in the direction of the hall and I sigh, quietly. 

“Wait with her until Min-ji comes to get her, so she’s not alone here,” I tell her, then look down at the kitty girl again. 

Her raised brows create wrinkles on her forehead and once she sees that I’ve noticed, she relaxes, wetting her lips. Doesn't want me to see the surprise that comes from what she created in me. 

How cute. 

“Enjoy the show,” I murmur, moving my feet towards the exit. I gaze back at her, catch her lungs shuddering, and the words slip off my tongue before I scramble the courage to stop them. “And happy birthday.” 

Her blush reaches her neck and it’s all my vision consists of—even when I’m performing. 

Our interaction was too short. Too, too short. And my anger took on a new face. 

Hers. 

Every word I rapped as I stared into the camera, I felt it dissolving in me and transforming into a yearning so great that my verses gained new meaning. A yearning to see her again, talk to her, pinch that fear in my fingers and fling it away, make space for something in her that had the vigor to surprise me and make me soft again. And in my concentration, I didn’t have the fight in me to put a stop to it. I was doing my duty for the happiness of our Army and while I thought about her, it seemed right. Those two things went along and it spurred a pleasant feeling in me that was warmer than the adrenaline sticking to my inflamed body from all the performing. 

It didn’t hit me that she was watching me the whole time until my eyes regarded her unperturbed, flaccid posture in that white plastic chair, wading in my thoughts as I was. Her grin and the flecks of light in her eyes illuminate the room with orange, blazing fire. She’s barefoot, her heels kicked to the side, crooked, elegiac, yet still sensuous. Our show is being rerun on the TV and she’s watching it, transfixed, not realizing me and Jungkook were the first to come to her out of the group. 

A mental connection clicks in my brain at the sight of it. The peach blossoms of the honeysuckle, Jungkook and the genuine love I carry for him. It is that orange color—it’s a home that keeps it safe, the atmosphere that she exudes through her evident elation and I don’t really understand why I feel this way. 

I haven’t even known her for a day. 

And it’s forced to collapse when her pools don’t find mine, but Jungkook’s once we walk in, joining her. She holds up her hand in the air, curling down her middle and ring fingers in while the rest of her digits remain erect, small and slim as they are. Her nose crunches up in the way it did when our bodies spoke in that secret language. And when she laughs and the corners of her eyes crinkle, I realize she’s mimicking his gesture that he so often does on stage while showing off his Army tattoo. 

The finger-fucking gesture. 

Her blush beams on her face, even more so when she does a stroking movement with her curled fingers, and I can’t help but wonder, briefly, if that’s how she does it to herself when she’s all alone and the night sinks inside her skin to get a refill of her juices, only to smear it across the sky.

It’s what I need to focus on, so I don’t explode in anger that she ignores me. 

Jungkook cackles, sticking out his tongue and doing the gesture. I hide my face in my towel, getting rid of the sweat coating me—but it pours out of my pores again when I hear her giggle. 

And I need to leave, my imagination no longer strong enough to withstand the jealousy that poisons my blood all over again. 

I fling the towel out and away from me, not caring where it lands. 

I don’t meet any eyes as I walk out, keeping my sight fixed on the gray floor, streaked with black lines from the hundreds of wheels of carts that have drove down the hall and from all the sneakers that have walked past. I follow them and I don’t know where they take me until I’m suddenly face to face with the gaping night. 

And it’s not her. 

It’s my wound. 

No stars for a naked pupil to see. Merely an abounding canvas of blackness that stares back at me and questions me, questions my feelings when it knows full well how hard I’ve wept, many times, in its airy embrace. 

I sit against the wall, needing something solid to support me, the spaciousness of the roof enveloping me, but not tightly enough. There, but never close enough—always a safe distance apart, as if afraid of me. 

Everyone is so always fucking afraid of me. 

And when they lean in and graze my heart, they get repulsed by me. 

It’s an ouroboros that my life, like my legs, follows. Like a dog chasing its own tail—and it’s such a perfect comparison because I’ve always been alone, save for my brothers. Distracted for a while, then alone again. 

I’m weary of it, despite the fact my body tends to wait for the thrill of the attention, longs for it, even when I dislike it. I’m an oxymoron that won’t cease and I have to live with it. 

And I can’t exit out of it because I have millions of lives that depend on me, plus six more. 

I sigh and I think sucking on a cigarette, numbly, while I crawl on my knees through the forest of my thoughts and feelings would be a thing of perfection. But I can’t afford that. Not when we’re working again. Not when our boss lurks at every corner, has eyes everywhere. Jungkook has had his last hotdog for a while and I… 

I swathed my broken strings around someone he brought into my life. 

Through a little hole my brothers let me see by forcing her to sit through a conversation that was a pain for her. A moonlight stripe of her personality, encased by her social anxiety and shyness. One that has awakened my body to emotions it hasn’t felt the touch of in a long time. 

Why am I not fighting it? 

Why am I not coercing my soul into submission, into that abyss of emptiness and hostility? 

Why am I letting myself feel? 

She’s just a girl that he’s seeing. Many stories like these have been written before and we’ve read the lines, recognized words that limned us, only for the love interest to disappear into thin air after some time like she never existed. And she’d just be another character in his love chronicles, if her persona hadn’t spoken to me so much. 

If her body hadn’t spoken to me in a language no one knows—not even me. 

I can’t begin my sentences about her with ‘she’s just a girl’, because she isn’t. 

And I don’t understand how that’s come to be. 

It happened so quickly that I fear I wasn’t present enough. 

My wound tilts its head as my world does the same thing—slants on its axis. Coos at me, seeing me, seeing through me. Reminds me of what happened the last time I felt. 

The passing of my girlfriend gave me the gift of a gun to my hand—gave me the face of death that I’ve been carrying ever since because it nearly made my dream of time ending come true. And the kitty girl… standstill hangs off her fingers like a pearl necklace that’s too long. And I find myself wanting to wear it. Because it’s her decision, her consciousness, her will. 

Not mine. 

And it will bring me closer to my Sun-mi.

My wound begins to cry at the memory of her, raindrops pitter-pattering on the tin ridges of the rooftop and I cherish that she’s remembered and honored by such vastness, by such picturesqueness that I’ve always considered the night to be. And when the wind brushes along my fidgeting hands, I almost feel her touch all over again. 

Feel. 

I feel. 

And in my heart, I tell her. I sail to her, attaching myself to her again. Tell my Sun-mi that I am capable of feeling and that I don’t know how it came together in me. And I ask her, in utmost respect, to guide me on this unknown path. 

Because I am alone without her. Adrift, without rhyme and reason. No wits to me, no rationality, no clear perception of right and wrong. 

There’s only grayness to me. 

Maybe that’s why I, unknowingly, dyed my hair this color before the start of the tour. 

And it dawns on me, now that one chapter has closed in my life, that the passing of my Sun-mi a year and a half ago is the reason why I’ve clung to Jungkook so rigidly. Because I couldn’t spend my time on her, I spent it on Jungkook. Because I had all this love for her and I couldn’t give it to her, so I gave it to Jungkook. 

And the kitty girl has put a stop to it. 

Sun-mi graces me with the tepid, yet fuzzy impression that it’s good—that it was meant to happen. And I believe her. 

And with my belief, the rain thickens. 

A thunder rolls forward from a far-away corner of the canvas of the sky that I can’t see. And I dwell in the pool of the fountain of the love I still have for her and forever will continue to have. Kneel in it. Search for her. 

I imagine her. The button of her nose, the curl of her top lip whenever we ridiculed aegyo by doing it together and doing a good fucking job while at it. I imagine her small fist at her round cheek, but she connects my memories to the kitty girl. 

And she consumes me, wholly.

Sun-mi makes me imagine her doing a cat-like aegyo and as the corner of my mouth lifts, a particular fear devours my gut. 

A fear of closeness. 

A fear of doing something with her that I did with Sun-mi, even when she okays it in my spirit. 

A fear of reliving something so painful again. 

The rain inches towards me and I scurry to my feet, my hand trembling as I open the door to the staircase. And when I shut out the sound of hard rainfall and prevent the traumatic memories of my accident from slinking into my mind, it’s the only strength I have left. 

And I crumble. 

I mirror the rain I abhor so much. 

I sit on the top of the staircase and I sear my hands with my acid-suffused tears. Sob so devastatingly that I don’t recognize myself, drenching the denim fabric over my knees. And when I pull on my hair, numbness is all that I detect within me. 

Good. 

No feelings; only emptiness. 

I steel myself by taking a few deep breaths, letting the oxygen settle that deep in me. And I unattach myself from my Sun-mi, promise her I will get back to her soon. Go back to who I previously was before I scraped the skin of my knees raw on the hardened soil of my emotions and thoughts. 

Alone death. 

But Sun-mi doesn’t sail away back to heaven. Doesn’t let me go. She stomps her foot on the wet grass of my heart and I understand why. I asked her to guide me and what I didn’t know was that she would break the laws of heaven in order to do that. She wouldn’t whisper words of wisdom into the chambers of my heart. She would take my hand and show me wisdom, pointing me to the right decision. 

That is my Sun-mi. 

I let her because I need her. I bow to her and I would stoop to my stomach on this dirty, metal staircase floor to divulge my respect and gratitude to her if I didn’t hear a voice echoing up towards me. 

A familiar male voice calling out to me. 

Sun-mi pulls me to it and tingles vibrate down my legs as I fly through the stairs, skipping the bottom ones in order to get me faster to my brother. Sun-mi pumps blood into my heart, refreshing the grass she lays upon, and lightness descends upon my shoulders. 

Her work of art. 

Heaving, I meet Jungkook in the doorframe, glancing up at me, disappointment lidding his eyes. But I don’t fear, not when Sun-mi is with me. He opens the door wider for me to step through, but I remain fixed on my spot, panting, ringing piercing through my hearing sense. 

Too much adrenaline at once in a season of drought. My body is unable to catch up to the new acclimatization. 

“What’s going on?” I ask, my throat raw from my crying and I clear it, so there’s no evidence of my sensitivity. Sun-mi caresses the wall of my heart to soothe me and tears burn at the back of my eyes—from the simple fact that I can feel her. 

I’ve felt her only once before. A week after she died, I prayed to her, loudly, until I lost my voice. Begged her to come back to me. 

And she did. 

And it felt nice until it didn’t—so I made it my habit to attach and unattach myself because of my fragility. It is only a matter of time before the logic of your mind distinguishes a real person from a ghost. And the parting of that vulnerable mist, in the middle of your agony, isn’t for the faint-hearted. 

But Sun-mi, at this very moment, feels more real than she ever has. As if she truly was hidden in the rooms of my heart like a little doll, like a little angel that has the task from above to guide me. 

And because I need it, I’ll let more time pass through this transcendental connection. 

Jungkook flattens his lips, tightly, the tip of his tongue poking out to play with the thin metal pierced through his bottom lip. He’s changed back into the clothes he came in, minus the fluffy jacket. A black T-shirt, black pants and sneakers. It makes the green of his hair stand out—just like the wisp of the same color on that singular strand of the girl kitty’s hair. 

They have a tendency to match and shame boils in me, that Sun-mi is a witness to the jealousy I feel. I haven’t told her and I don’t know if I want to. In my momentary cowardice, I hope that she can sense it and validate it. 

But I gain nothing from her. 

Silence. 

One that Jungkook breaks. 

“Staff said that we have to wait until the storm passes.” 

My stomach sinks, the memory of the rainfall faint in my ears. “Good.” 

Jungkook pauses before he voices out the question that I can visibly see rising in him. Nibbles his bottom lip, the metal tilting to the side like my world. “Where did you go?” 

My breath shivers as I inhale, tasting my half-false words before I speak them. “I felt hot and I needed some fresh air.” 

I felt jealous that you made dirty innuendos with your friend, I don’t say. It led me to seek my dead girlfriend because I feel inclined to fraternize with that aforementioned friend. 

Jungkook frowns. “You went out in the rain?” 

I pass through the gap between his body and the doorframe, not able to stand the position I’ve been put in, anxiety prickling my fingertips. Jungkook lets the door shut behind him with a loud thud, following closely behind me until he falls in step beside me. 

“It felt refreshing until it didn’t,” I decide to mutter. Typical words of mine—I can’t stand them either. 

Sun-mi is still silent.

Maybe I should unattach myself, protect myself from further pain. It was a moment of weakness, anyways—

Jungkook rubs my shoulder, gently, the fixed one, barely touching me, but the gesture is there. And I grasp why I love him so much. 

His gentleness is everything to me. 

“The rain will stop,” he says and I take those words to heart, giving them the meaning that they are the wisdom I needed to hear, the wisdom I sought from my quiet Sun-mi. 

The rain will stop. 

The sensitivity will stop, too. 

And time will stop soon, one day. 

𓂃 ౨ৎ LOVE-KISSED BABIES: @tkslovechild, @jjk7k, @parkinglot-nights, @bethvar, @Sexytholland, @yoongibaybee, @crystaleah,@fennecnco, @lil-kpopstan, @euphoricmyth, @jungkoock, @cinmmongirl, @hobiberrystuff.

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