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katrinawritesthings · 2 years ago

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Jonghyun/Jinki; I like him :); R

I didn't feel like writing the smut so I wrote the aftercare lol tw for mentions of cnc :3c

"Do you want to cum again?" he asks. "One more for me?" He gets one finger down to press lightly on Jonghyun's hole, all nice and slick and cummy, and very much enjoys the whimper muffled into his shoulder. “Noooo," Jonghyun whines, and even though he sounds genuinely disappointed, continues, "I'm all tuckered out."

Jinki surprises himself when he lets out a squeak as he's stretching his arms over his head. His next breath comes out in a laugh, his hands falling down on top of his head, smoothing around to the back of it, lacing behind his neck. He must be more fucked out than he thought. All the more reason to finish up what he's doing in the kitchen and get back to the bedroom quickly.

He taps his fingers on the counter in front of the microwave, watching the nachos rotate in there impatiently. When they're finally done, he grabs them, then grabs a can of soda and a bottle of choccy milky from the fridge, a straw from the drawer, and makes his way down the hall.

The bedroom door is still open and Jonghyun is right where Jinki left him. Sprawled out naked on his tummy on the bed, beautiful and golden against the white sheets, sweat clinging to him, hair all messed up, cum leaking from his booty hole, all on top of–no. Jinki corrects himself. Jonghyun is a couple inches to the right of where he left him, next to the veritable puddle of his own cum instead of still lying in it. His pretty lashes are fanned out over his cheeks as he dozes, but when Jinki knocks on the door frame and leans into the room, he opens his eyes and picks up his head from the pillow of his arms, smiling sleepily. Gorgeous.

"Can I come back and tell you you're cute and I love you yet, pretty?" Jinki asks. Jonghyun blinks slowly at him, processing his words. Then he bubbles into giggles, turning them back into his arms. Jinki rolls his eyes fondly. Still giddy. He recovers, though, enough to prop himself up on his forearms and smile, "if you must."

Jinki must, so he does, stepping into the room and sitting on the bed near the pillows, in front of Jonghyun, ignoring the thought of all of the laundry they’ll have to do later. He puts their food down between them, then cups Jonghyun's cheek, pinching, wiggling him a little bit, just because he wants to.

"You're cute and I love you," he says warmly. Jonghyun smiles back, kissing the pad of his thumb.

"Can't believe you made nachos,” he says. He reaches onto the plate and takes one, lifting it up and then twisting it so all of the melty cheese wraps around it. Then he taps the bottle of choccy milky with an empty corner of the chip with an expectant look before he pops it into his mouth. As Jinki picks up the bottle and opens it for him, putting the straw in and everything, Jonghyun talks with his mouth full. "I thought you liked smoothies for your aftercare food."

"Oh, my aftercare food?" Jinki asks, eyebrows rising into his bangs. This is surprising. News to him, but Jonghyun nods, taking his choccy milky and taking a drink. He also grabs three chips this time, bringing them in a quick, drippy mess to his mouth and then leaving crumbs everywhere when he bites into them.

"Yeah," he says. "You're the one that needs it."

Jinki, soda can popped and halfway to his mouth, stops in the middle of that to snort. Oh. He sees. Jonghyun is in this mood again. Big tough baby mood. Super jacked infant just out of the womb with a six-pack mood. Stubborn and impossible to talk sense into mood. Jinki takes a sip of his soda, then raises his eyebrows and says, "you were literally crying at one point."

"Yeah, because the nut was so good," Jonghyun grins."I cry about everything but that doesn't mean I need to be comforted about everything. I'm baby but I'm like. A super tough jacked baby...." And there he goes, on his big tough baby metaphor, just like Jinki knew he would be. Jinki tunes him out in favor of eating some of the nachos before they all disappear. He's heard this enough that he has it memorized and Jonghyun knows that, but he just likes saying anyway, for the fun and the drama of it all.

Jinki also cannot believe how often that Jonghyun insists that he doesn't need aftercare. Like, first of all, he does just on principle, because every sub deserves aftercare. And second of all, when they really get into it like they did just now, it even wears Jinki out. The pair of them have some harsh kinks, Jonghyun has a few even harsher ones, and Jinki has developed quite a skill for being mean. It's hard to get into that mindset and stay there for a while. He's soft by nature. Focusing on his role takes a lot out of him. He can't even begin to imagine what it does to Jonghyun.

And yet here Jonghyun lays, feet kicking in the air, wolfing down his nachos, giggling as he tries to get through his buff baby speech. Like he really is just chill with it. Preposterous. Jinki tuned him out a little extra when he brought his soda can to his mouth because he knew that listening to Jonghyun laugh would make him want to laugh too, so when he's halfway through chugging the entire thing and he feels Jonghyun's fingers on his knee, he looks down, surprised.

Jonghyun is smiling at him, opening and closing his fingers on his knee, tickling him a little bit. Once he has Jinki's attention, he says, "doms need aftercare too. It's okay, Jinki my honey. You can admit it." And then, while Jinki is blinking and trying to process that wild statement, Jonghyun stuffs another handful of nachos into his mouth. "Gosh, these are so fucking good," he groans. "I'm going to nut again."

"Oh, like you have anything left," Jinki replies automatically, grinning. That sets Jonghyun to laughing again, to giggling, "listen, I can nut emotionally even if there's nothing left in the tank," and then the both of them are laughing, talking, joking and smiling together. Relaxing, settling down. After a minute, Jonghyun tries to pick up Jinki's hand with just his pinky lifted off of his choccy milky. Jinki lifts it for him, and then follows Jonghyun's pinky over to his head, where he pets his hair, pinches his cheek, just holds him, gently.

That's his favorite part about aftercare. Petting Jonghyun. Just touching him, gently, wherever he wants. Making him smile. It puts Jinki's heart at ease to see him so sleepy and content, almost purring underneath his fingers.

They hang out together like that for Jinki doen't know how long; long enough to polish off all of the nachos and then some. Long enough for Jonghyun to roll over onto his back and let Jinki rub his tummy, wiggle his fingers into soft squish. Long enough and so far away enough from the sex that the smell of cum drying and staining into the extra sheets they put down is starting to get overwhelming almost to the point of hilarity.

Jinki still doesn't want to deal with that, so instead, he squishes Jonghyun's face with both hands and leans over him, bending down to quickly peck a kiss to his mouth.

"Want to go shower, cutiepie?" he asks. Jonghyun quickly brings his hands up around the back of Jinki's head, keeping him there to kiss again. When he's done, he shrugs, yawning into the back of his hand.

"Not really," he says. "I'm good."

"You are not," Jinki sighs. "You are so sweaty and so full of cum."

"I was sweaty," Jonghyun tells him. "Not anymore. It's all gone. And I can just put a plug in."

He's doing this just to be a little brat. Jinki knows this. It's in the sparkle of his eyes, the smirk on his mouth. It's true that Jonghyun probably doesn’t mind not showering right now, but he wouldn't mind getting in the shower either. He’s having fun choosing not to just to be contrary. Jinki loves him.

"Up you get, leaky boy," Jinki says, sliding off of the bed and then grabbing Jonghyun's wrists. He leaves their dishes on the bed, to be cleaned up later, when he feels like it. Jonghyun offers him no help whatsoever, exaggeratedly limp and useless as Jinki tries to pull him to his feet, and then when he succeeds at that finally, Jonghyun leans all of his weight on him so he stumbles back a couple of steps. Jinki doesn't even bother reprimanding him. He knows that all Jonghyun would do is giggle.

"Do you mean my dick or my bootyhole?" Jonghyun grins into his neck.

"Yes," Jinki replies, smiling into his hair. Then he tugs him into the bathroom, ignoring his little smiles about wanting to stay sweaty and sticky. He cranks the water on hot, turns the fan on, rustles around in the closet looking for their fluffiest towels. When he turns around to toss them onto the counter, Jonghyun is sticking his hand tentatively under the water and then stepping in, standing directly underneath the spray and letting it fall directly onto his face.

Once he’s pleased with how wet he is, Jonghyun turns and leans back against the shower wall, arms limp at his sides, head tilted back, bangs in his eyes, just smiling at Jinki. Jinki smiles back, a little lovestruck for a moment, until Jonghyun sticks his tongue out at him.

Shaking his head, Jinki pushes the pajama pants he threw on after they finished down to the floor. Grabbing the hem of his shirt, he glances back at Jonghyun. Jonghyun politely closes his eyes, pretty lashes long against his cheeks, smile lazy and content. Jinki loves him even more.

Jonghyun keeps his eyes closed all the way until Jinki steps into the shower, pulls the curtain behind him, cups his face, and presses their mouths together softly.

"You are so gay," he murmurs when Jinki pulls away, smiling at him through his lashes. Jinki smiles back, kissing him again.

"Thanks," he says. Then, since he knows that Jonghyun isn't going to bother, he reaches for the shampoo and washes their hair for them. He slicks some conditioner through their hair as well, then gently leans Jonghyun back against the wall so he can soap himself all up quickly. Jonghyun doesn't help with that so much as just bother him, rubbing body wash over his back lazily with soft, tickling fingers, feeling up his arms greedily while he's trying to rinse himself off.

Not once while he's doing all of this does he let his eyes wander down further than Jinki's collarbones, but still. When he's done, Jinki gets Jonghyun's wrists in his hands, pinning them to the wall so he can kiss him again.

"You are a nuisance," he chides.

"I thought you were being nice to me now," Jonghyun pouts. It's not much of a pout, with his mouth turned up at the corners, but his lips are still puffy and his voice is still baby and Jinki feels bad anyway.

"You're right," he sighs. Between kisses, he continues, "because you're cute. And sweet. And kind. And I love you."

And for his compliments, and his kisses, Jonghyun calls him gay again. And then adds, "continue your aftercare. Pamper me."

“Yes, of course," Jinki says blandly. "My aftercare.”

He ignores the affirmative hum from Jonghyun, picking up the body wash again and getting to work. He takes his time, goes slow. He starts with a neck rub, then moves down to his shoulders, turning Jonghyun around to work his thumbs into his muscles and down his back. When he does Jonghyun's arms he makes sure to go all the way down to his hands and then kiss the back of each one, smiling against his fingers to make Jonghyun blush.

Jonghyun dramatically lifts each one of his legs to be washed in turn, which means that they spend a turn clinging to each other and giggling, hearts pounding probably harder than they did when they were fucking, when Jonghyun loses his balance and almost falls.

And then, finally, the time comes for Jinki to spend a disproportionately long but still extremely necessary time washing Jonghyun's booty. Jonghyun senses this too, because as soon as Jinki gets his hands on the booty, he wiggles happily. Loosely circling his arms around Jinki's waist, Jonghyun nuzzles into his shoulder, closes his eyes, and gets right back to his perfect and most gorgeous state of practically purring. Jinki's favorite.

Jinki positions them to be under the shower spray more directly, so their conditioner will rinse out while they’re occupied. With water running down his face, he closes his eyes too and takes his time feeling up the booty. Squishing it, kneading it, cute and small in his hands. When he teases his fingers over the crack, pulling him open just the tiniest amount, Jonghyun gasps. His fingers curl into Jinki's back. Jinki smiles.

“Noooo," Jonghyun whines, and even though he sounds genuinely disappointed, continues, "I'm all tuckered out."

And then, quickly, a smile in his voice, tacks on, "and I mean, like, actually no. Not, like, yes please no.”

"I know," Jinki laughs. He knows. Of course he knows. He kisses the side of Jonghyun's head, conditioner and all, and starts to move his hands away. Just as quick, Jonghyun grabs his wrist and keeps his hand still.

"Finger me, though," he says. "Feels nice."

Jinki doesn't know how he's supposed to resist that, so he obeys. With one hand, he holds Jonghyun open, and with the other, he pushes two fingers inside of his hole. He goes slow, and gentle, in and out so Jonghyun can feel each and every centimeter. He teases around his prostate without ever actually touching it, not wanting to overwhelm him. Every so often, he spreads his fingers, pulling Jonghyun open, so more cum drips out onto the shower floor and down the drain.

Jonghyun rocks his hips back against his hands. Every breath of his is either a soft little gasp in or a pleased hum out. Jinki is pleased himself, pleased and content, comfortable to stand here and do this for as long as Jonghyun wants. Anything for Jonghyun.

"Hey, Jinki?" Jonghyun says eventually. Jinki hums back to show that he's listening. Jonghyun squeezes him a little bit, smoothing his hands up and down his back. "When I was begging you to stop and saying I couldn't handle it anymore, and then you said ‘who cares?’" he says. "That was really hot."

A smirk automatically finds its way onto Jinki's mouth. He knew that Jonghyun would like that. The demoralization, the dehumanization, the stripping of his boundaries, the tiniest hint of ownership. It was the perfect thing for the perfect fucktoy to hear and Jinki is so proud of himself for coming up with it on the spot like that. Plus, "I could tell when it made you nut so hard that you passed out for a minute," he says. Even if he wasn't sure about saying it, that reaction was a huge giveaway that it was a good idea.

"Gosh," Jonghyun says, and he's giggling now, pressing his forehead into Jinki's shoulder. "It wasn't really a minute, was it?" he asks.

"15, 20 Seconds, maybe," Jinki shrugs. Long enough.

"And you kept going?" Jonghyun asks.

"Obviously," Jinki replies smugly. Jonghyun inflates with a big, happy breath, squeezing him tight around the middle. He squeezes him so tight that Jinki's back cracks, and then, between their breathy laughter, Jonghyun sighs, "I love you so much."

He sounds so content and cozy and perfectly in love that Jinki has no choice but to believe him, and then he has no choice but to put his own face into his hands and decide that they're done showering now. He can't keep standing here like this if Jonghyun is going to get all soft and genuine on him. He can't handle it when he can hardly believe that he deserves it.

Instantly Jonghyun picks up on this, and instantly he decides to take advantage of it, looking at Jinki with hearts in his eyes but a smirk on his lips while Jinki struggles to get the showerhead off of the thing so he can rinse them off properly. And when they step out of the shower, he gets to the towels first, so Jinki has to just stand there and be gently dried off and kissed all over, Jonghyun smiling soft words into his skin until his ears are bright red. Jonghyun kisses those too, and he almost melts into a puddle right there on the floor.

"Not fair," he whines, snatching the towel back to cover himself. Jonghyun, shimmying around in his own towel, opens his mouth to reply, but Jinki cuts him off first. He holds his fist up between them, wiggling it, and says, "for the laundry."

One of them has to do it, and reminding Jonghyun of it is as good enough a way to distract him as any. It works; even though Jonghyun definitely knows that's what he's doing, he still lifts up his own hand and it shakes out a quick game of rock paper scissors. He loses, so they do best two out of three, and then out of five, and then out of seven, and then Jinki stops trying to give him a chance and tells him to just get started.

Jonghyun does with a sigh and a pout and a kiss on the cheek after they get dressed in new comfy pajamas.

Jinki grabs their dishes to wash while he's doing that, and once he's done, he takes a moment to lean on the sink and bite his lip and think about Jonghyun and smile. Jonghyun was right. He is so gay and in love.

He pushes off of the sink and heads to the laundry room. He doesn't want to leave his love alone for longer than he has to.

Jonghyun is pouring detergent into the washing machine when Jinki gets there, and he smiles over his shoulder when Jinki puts his hands on his waist and kisses the back of his head. Jinki doesn't say anything; he just holds Jonghyun, tight but gentle. Just to be with him, touching him, loving him. Jonghyun stays quiet as well until he gets the washing machine started. Then he pulls himself out of Jinki's arms, turns around, and hoists himself up onto the washing machine, sitting on it, legs spread to give Jinki room to stand in between them.

"Hey, Jinki?" he asks, quiet. Jinki hums his response, putting his hands on either side of Jonghyun's hips and pressing their mouths together softly. Jonghyun kisses back for a minute, soft, slow, deep. When the kiss breaks, Jonghyun circles his arms around Jinki's neck and rests their foreheads together.

"I know you love me," he says.

Jinki has to take a moment to process that after he hears it. He wasn't expecting that, and he wasn't expecting it to come from Jonghyun's serious voice. He opens his eyes, looking at Jonghyun's closed eyelids. Jonghyun plays with the hair at the nape of his neck as he continues, "I know you do. And I believe that you do. I can tell, all the time, that you love me."

"Um," Jinki says.

"I wasn't done," Jonghyun tells him. He holds Jinki's head and turns him to kiss each of his cheeks. With a smile pushing up his own cheeks, he says, "I know you love me, even when you're calling me a filthy, worthless, desperate little fucktoy and using me until you're done with me even if that pushes me way past what I say my limits are." Finally he opens his eyes, meeting Jinki's up close. He has that glint in them where Jinki knows that he's being made fun of, but he is also still so soft and genuine that it almost makes Jinki's heart hurt. "That's kind of the whole point," he grins.

Jinki purses his lips, annoyed. He thinks he sees what's going on here.

"Is this still about how you think I'm the one that needs aftercare?" he asks.

"Am I wrong?" Jonghyun replies. He raises his eyebrows at Jinki, plays with his hair, tilts his face up to press a kiss to the tip of his nose. Jinki doesn't answer at first. He wants to say that yes, Jonghyun is wrong, but. That really would be a lie. He can see that now, in this quiet little moment. Instead, he sighs, kissing Jonghyun once again.

"I guess not," he says.

"Oh, you guess not?" Jonghyun laughs. He leans back on his hands, breathy, incredulous, bumping Jinki with his knee. Jinki can't help it; he laughs too.

"Listen," he says. "I'll admit that I deserve love when I'm good and ready." It's just that it's a whole process, and he's been working on it, but it's going to take a while, and Jonghyun knows this. "You can settle for me saying maybe." Maybe he needs care and assurance after rough sex, same as Jonghyun. Doubtful, but if Jonghyun wants to convince him, Jinki won't stop him.

Jonghyun looks at him for a moment, lips pressed together, sighing through his nose, and then he rolls his eyes. "Fine," he smiles. "Good enough. C'mere." He makes grabby hands like he wasn't the one that moved away in the first place. Jinki leans closer anyway, letting Jonghyun hold his face and kiss him.

And kiss him, and kiss him. Jinki guesses that they're going to be doing this for a while, making out in the laundry room with the washing machine rumbling underneath them, and he can't say that he's opposed to it.

What he can say, after another moment when a thought occurs to him, is, "did you give yourself a boner again when you called yourself a filthy worthless desperate little fucktoy?"

Jonghyun bubbles into giggles against his mouth, then pulls him closer so he can laugh into his shoulder.

"Almost," he admits. "It was close."

"Uh huh," Jinki says, rolling his eyes, more in love than ever.

#jongyu #jonghyun #jinki #smut #r #fluff #oneshot #it's not that Jonghyun doesn't capital n need aftercare #it's just that the aftercare that he needs isn't the after care that Jinki thinks he needs #He gets all of his Aftercare from the fact that Jinki cares so much about his aftercare #And not any of the specifics of what Jinki does for him #It's the thought that counts TM #Meanwhile Jinx is just so desperate for Jonghyun to know that he loves him #He is soft by Nature #and even though he thinks it's really super duper fucking hot he still feels a little bad when he says mean things to Jonghyun #Jonghyun is not the one being pushed out of his comfort zone lmao #Jonghyun is always just having the time of his life #He vanillas himself to Jinkis Comfort level #He doesn't even get why Jinx thinks he's saying mean things to him because he takes them all as compliments #They're both valid

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omfgbts · 8 years ago

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please learn from what happened. remember that even the brightest people can be in pain. you never know what’s going on inside person’s minds.

be kind.

#shinee #jonghyun #kim jonghyun #im a mess #i dont know what to do with myself #i feel like there is only white noise in my mind now #and i know that fans knew about his state #he was talking about this openly #but ive seen a lot of people being like 'he was rich and talented' or 'he looked happy' so i guess not everyone knew #i'm just saying that people have demons inside that might not be visible at first sight #10k

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minhyun · 8 years ago

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pledis rapper leaders

#seventeen #svtcreations #choi seungcheol #nu'est #kim jonghyun #I'M BAWLING MY EYES OUT I'M SO JFHGHFJJGJ JONGCHEOL!!!! JONG!! CHEOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#MY FEELINGS RN OTL THIS IS TOO MUCH TO HANDLE I'M A MESS #g:mine

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kkodzvken · 4 years ago

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suit up - hawks x f. reader

the one where keigo marries the girl of his dreams, and then takes her home and shows her just how loved she is. title cred/inspo: suit up by jonghyun

notes/warnings: smut and fluff (your teeth may rot and fall out, you’ve been warned), soft dom!keigo, praise kink, slight size kink, oral (f. receiving), unprotected sex + creampie. reader and kei use the traffic light safe word system and they review it beforehand, and he checks in with her at one point but she’s green, so everything is 100% consensual. they flirt + kei says explicit things at the reception but nothing /actually/ happens in public. mentions of alcohol

wc: 5.3k

a/n: this idea’s been bouncing around my head for a while bc i wanna marry this dumbass so bad :’) my first full hawks fic!! im so happy hehe

Beautiful.

You’re so beautiful.

Keigo’s always known, of course. He’s found you beautiful since the very first moment that he laid his eyes on you, all those years ago. He tells you that you’re beautiful every single day, no matter how much you roll your eyes or jokingly tell him to shut up.

You’re beautiful all the time, but there are certain moments that leave him especially breathless. The day that you foolishly challenged Rumi to an arm-wrestling match. The determined look in your eye as you clenched your fist, sweat dripping down your brow and arm muscles straining (you lost, of course – the rabbit hero was ridiculously jacked). The brilliant smile that graces your face whenever he brings you flowers or little souvenirs from his work trips. The very first morning after you moved into his penthouse, when he woke up next to your peaceful sleeping form, and realized that he’d have mornings like this for the rest of his life.

The day that he flew you up to the mountains for a starlit picnic. The smile on your face as you polished off your meal, and the way that your hand flew up to your mouth when he got down on one knee. Your teary-eyed look of pure love as he slipped the ring onto your finger, the diamond gleaming like one of the stars that shone down on you. The way that your eyes rolled back and your legs wrapped around his waist when he took you home and fucked you for hours.

And right now. Keigo swore that his heart damn near burst at the sight of you. The organist was playing, but he couldn’t hear the notes, couldn’t hear anything besides the blood rushing in his ears. Your hands clasped an elegant flower bouquet, and Keigo was sure that the blossoms were pretty, but he couldn’t spare even a second to glance at them. No, his entire focus was trained on you. You, with your beautiful dress that perfectly accentuated the body that he loved so much. When your eyes raised to meet his, and that perfect smile worked its way across your face… he had to bite his inner cheek to try and hold the tears back.

In a simultaneous eternity and heartbeat, you were handing off your bouquet to a bridesmaid and clasping Keigo’s large hands with your much smaller ones. The officiant was speaking, but Keigo didn’t process any of it. The sight of your eyes shining up at him, more beautiful than any of the stars in the night sky, was the only thing anchoring him to the world. He felt like he was floating through a dreamscape with only you, the happiness in his chest powerful and all-encompassing.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You’re talking to a group of your old friends from high school when a tap against your shoulder grabs your attention, and you turn to see your fiancé – no, your husband – smirking down at you. He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you close. “Excuse me, ladies,” he says to your friends. “Mind if I steal her for a moment?” His amber eyes glint mischievously, and you swear that a whole swarm of butterflies take flight in your stomach.

Your friends giggle and nod, and then Keigo’s spinning you around so that you’re face-to-face. He’s stunning, in his black suit and red dress shirt, the shade of crimson matching his wings perfectly. “Dance with me, dove,” he says, before leaning down to press a quick kiss against your lips. You nod, and he leads you towards the center of the venue, where most of your guests are dancing to some cheesy pop song. Keigo nods at the DJ, who nods back and switches to the music. Soft synth notes travel through the speakers, before the singer’s dreamy voice floods your ears.

Your hands find their way to his broad shoulders. His wings move to wrap around you protectively. You’re not sure if he even realizes that he does it – it’s such a normal thing, now, for him to shield you, to create a little cocoon for the two of you. You frown as you feel his muscles moving underneath your fingers. “You’re too tense,” you say, fingers gently kneading at the parts of his back that you can reach. “Let me give you a massage once we get home.”

He chuckles, one of his own hands coming up to capture yours. He laces your fingers together before bringing your hand up to his lips and pressing a gentle kiss against your skin. The look he gives you is so tender, the love radiating off his body so palpable, that it makes your knees feel week. “Sweet, but I’m the one who’s going to be taking care of you tonight.” You open your mouth to protest, but he tuts, and a feather flies up to shush at your lips. “No, listen. You’re driving me crazy. Every time I turn my head, I see you looking so damn beautiful that my heart stops. Makes me wanna just pull you away and rip that pretty dress off.”

You gasp at his words, a pretty blush dusting your cheeks. “Kei! People are gonna hear you!”

He shrugs, pulling you even closer and swaying your bodies lightly to the music. “Let them,” he says nonchalantly, but the glint in his eye is pure sin. He leans down so that his lips brush against the shell of your ear. You can’t help the shudder that wracks through your body as his warm breath hits your skin. “You’re so cute when you’re blushing like that. Did I make you flustered, baby?” His fingers release yours, instead gripping your chin and forcing you to meet his eyes. “Answer me, love.”

You nod, feeling small. Only Keigo can affect you like this, can reduce you to a trembling mess with just a few words.

You love it.

He smirks at your confession, pressing a kiss against your cheek before leaning his forehead against yours. “What do you say we jump ship, babe?” Your confusion must show on your face, because he continues. “I think I might die if I have to wait much longer to get my hands on you. And judging by the way you’re acting… I’d bet good money that you’re already dripping for me.”

“Kei!” You swat at his chest before burying your face in it. He laughs, one of his real, genuine laughs that makes your heart soar, before kissing the crown of your head.

“I don’t see you denying it.”

“Shut up.”

“Aw, is my cute little wife flustered?”

Wife. The word sounds so pretty rolling off his lips that you can’t resist retreating from the safety of his chest to press your lips against his. He cups your face with one of his large, rough hands and kisses you back. His wings shift to cover you up before the hand on your waist moves down to pinch at your ass – or, at least, it tries. The layers of your dress obstruct him, and he growls in frustration.

You can’t help but whine as well. You want him all the time, of course. Years of being together haven’t changed how fucking badly you want him all the time. You’d used up all your willpower behaving for the ceremony and the reception so far. You’d been good, had kept your hands to yourself throughout dinner and the toasts. But now, the mix of his body against yours, the dirty words that he’d whispered into your ear, and the cocktails running through your bloodstream were making it very hard for you to ignore the pooling heat between your legs.

You wanted him. You wanted your husband.

“Please,” you whisper. Under normal circumstances, you’d hate how whiny and pathetic you sound, but you’re too far gone to care. “Please, let’s go, Kei. Need you.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

A few whispered words to Rumi, and a knowing smirk from her, and you were gone. It was surprisingly easy to slip out the venue. You’d expected to be stopped by some nosy family member, but it seemed that everyone was too tipsy and having too much fun to care. Nevertheless, you had to be careful once you stepped out into the fresh night air. The number two hero’s wedding was perfect paparazzi bait. You didn’t even want to think about the feeding frenzy that the media would go into if they caught sight of you now.

The night sky was like a shield, though, and it protected you from prying eyes. You’d been discreet when picking the wedding and reception venues, and even more discreet in choosing your honeymoon destination. Tomorrow morning, you and Keigo would fly up to the mountains, where he’d rented a little cabin for the two of you. By some miracle, he’d managed to get a whole week off work – a whole week where you’d have him, entirely to yourself.

But right now, you aren’t thinking about tomorrow morning, or the lovely, peaceful honeymoon that you were about to embark on. Right now, the only thing you can think about is Keigo. Keigo, with his beautifully messy hair that moved like ocean waves as you soared through the air. There’s nothing in this world that you love more than flying with him, pressed against his sturdy body with his strong arms wrapped around you. Light pollution makes it hard to see the sky from the ground, but up here, the moon and stars are breathtaking.

Almost as breathtaking as your husband, who’s eyes are prettier than any stars could ever hope to be.

He looks down and catches you staring, taking him in with your wide, wondrous eyes. You can barely hear anything through the noise-cancelling headphones that he makes you wear whenever you fly, but his words reach you, clear as day – “I love you.”

“And I love you.” Your voice comes out small, stolen away by the rushing wind. You try again, louder this time. “I love you!”

He chuckles, chest shaking as he tries to keep his laughs contained. “You trying to one-up me? I can be loud too.” He takes a deep breath, before tipping his head back and shouting an I love you up into the heavens.

His lips are soft and sweet as candy when they dip down to meet yours. “I’m just so happy,” he whispers against you. “You make me so happy.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The moment that you set foot into the penthouse, you gasp.

“Oh, Kei,” you breathe, hand flying over your mouth.

He bounces nervously as he locks up the balcony door, not meeting your eye. “Do…do you not like it?”

You march up to him and grab his face in your hands, before standing up onto your tip-toes and planting a kiss on his forehead. “I love it, baby. Really, you’ve outdone yourself.”

He perks up at the praise, kissing your lips once before his hands move down and he picks you up, clean off the ground. You can’t hold your shrieking laugh back as he spins you around, a smile lighting up his face like a god damn Christmas tree.

The house is beautiful. Really, he did outdo himself. Back when you’d first started dating, he’d had to call off your six-month-anniversary date because of a mission. You’d assured him that it was fine, that you understood, but you’d be lying if you said that you weren’t upset. He promised that he would be back in a week at the latest. You’d spent the night with your friends, eating ice cream and watching shitty movies, and left for work the next morning. You weren’t expecting him back for a few days at least, but when you opened your door after an exhausting day at work, he was there, waiting for you. Scratches on his face and bandages on his arms, but he was there. And he’d decorated your apartment with flowers and fairy lights, centered around a haphazardly made blanket fort in the center of the living room. Little candles were placed across the room, each with a red feather standing guard, making sure that the flames didn’t accidentally get knocked over and grow. After you’d gotten over your initial shock – how the hell did you get in here, Kei – you ran into his arms and squeezed him, tight. He didn’t let go of you for the entire night – his body always pressed against yours, fingers constantly entwined, even as he made you cum so many times that you forgot your own name.

It was one of your fondest memories, one that always brought a smile to your face. You’d mentioned it offhandedly last week, while you were in the weeds with wedding planning. Honestly, you didn’t think that he’d even heard what you said, with how stressed and busy the two of you were. He was picking up extra patrols to make up for his honeymoon vacation time, and you were working your ass off to get your overbearing boss off your back.

But he had heard. He heard, and he listened, because that’s just the kind of lover – the kind of husband – that Keigo is. Attentive, sweet, and intuitive. You swear, he spoils you beyond belief. You don’t even know when he got the time to decorate the apartment today, but it’s beautiful. Even more beautiful than the decorations from your six-month-anniversary, because this time, the sight is sweetened by the knowledge that this is your shared home. This isn’t just your apartment, that your friends helped sneak him into so he could fancy it up. This is your shared space, where you’ll spend the rest of your lives together. Where you’ll wake up in his arms every morning, his wings wrapped around you protectively, fragmenting the morning light into shards of red. Where you’ll make meals together and laugh at his bad cooking, where you’ll take sanctuary from the harshness of the world. This place is your home. Keigo is your home.

He finally stops spinning, but refuses to set you down. Instead, he readjusts you so that he’s carrying you bridal style. You almost laugh at how cliché it is. It feels like something out of a cheesy rom-com, but you’re so happy that you feel like you’re in one of those rom-coms.

You do laugh out loud when you see the trail of petals leading to your bedroom. Keigo feigns disappointment, dramatically sighing. “Don’t laugh, princess, you wound me.” That just makes you laugh even more, and soon, he’s joining in, burying his face in your hair as he walks the two of you towards the bed. “C’mon, I’m trying to be romantic! Quit making me laugh!”

“I can’t help it,” you giggle as he gently places you onto the bed. Thankfully, he had the common sense to not put any petals on the actual bed, but the floor is absolutely covered. Blossoms line the walls as well, along with candles that bathe the room in their gentle glow. You take a second to admire how beautiful your husband looks in the soft light. The shadows make his wings seem that much bigger as they unfurl to their full size. He looms over you, looking like the most delicious mix of devil and angel that you’ve ever seen. There’s still a playful smile on his face, but something mischievous simmers beneath it.

“Hope you didn’t forget what you said at the reception hall, baby,” he says, eyes glinting. “What was it? Hmm, something like, need you, Kei, need you to take me home and fuck me, I’m already so wet for you.”

You groan and try to bury your face in your hands, but he’s too fast. He grabs your wrists and pins them above your head, easily wrapping them with just one of his large hands. “You’re making shit up,” you pout. “I only said the first part.”

“So you admit you said it? That you need me?”

“Shut up.”

“Mm, no thanks.”

You groan again, trying to suppress your smile. There are plenty of times that you and Keigo have had “serious” sex, but you mostly find yourself like this, devolving into giggles and teasing. There’s something about him that makes you feel so safe and at ease, and you can’t help yourself from giggling at his stupid remarks. He laughs, and releases your wrists to cradle your face with both his hands. He shifts so that he’s properly on top of you, his thighs on either side of your hips, and bends down to press kisses all over your face.

“My wife,” he breathes, in between kisses. “My sweet, beautiful, amazing wife. This dress is so pretty, but let’s take it off, my love. You don’t need it anymore.”

It takes a few minutes of awkward wriggling and tugging to finally remove the lace monstrosity, but at long last, the dress ends up on the floor. Keigo’s hands are on your body in an instant, fingers trailing over the curve of your waist and snapping the waistband of your panties. “God, you’ve got such pretty little lingerie on.”

“Wanted to dress up for you,” you say, pawing at his tie and trying to loosen the knot. It makes you feel small, to be so exposed while he’s still fully dressed. Normally you love to savor in that feeling, but right now, you need to feel his bare skin against yours. “Now take your clothes off, please.”

You finally manage to loosen his tie enough to pull it over his head. After stopping for another deep kiss, your hands continue their path over his body. His suit jacket comes off next, although he has to help you gently maneuver it off his wings. His cuff links clatter to the ground as you almost viciously rip off his dress shirt, and you moan when you finally feel his warm muscles.

You’re practically grinding into each other by now. Little whines leave your lips as you shamelessly roll your hips, seeking any friction you can get. You can feel his hardness, even through his thick pants, and you chase it with vigor. He’s not much better, a light blush dusting his face as he meets your rolls with shallow thrusts of his own. “Off, off, Kei, need to feel you,” you babble, fingers desperately trying to undo this belt buckle. Breathlessly, he pushes your fingers aside and pulls his belt off, unceremoniously throwing it across the room. You half expect it to collide with a candle and set the entire building on fire, but a few feathers fly out to catch it and gently set it down.

You don’t waste a second in pulling his pants down and throwing them as well, trusting that a feather will keep it from crashing into anything. Your fingers try to pull down the waistband of his boxers, but he tuts and grabs your hand.

You look up at him with pleading eyes. “Please,” you whine.

The smile on his face is gentle beyond belief as he answers. “I told you that I was going to take care of you tonight, baby. Let me make you feel good, okay? Can I make you feel good?”

You want to protest, want to beg him to stuff your face or your cunt and fuck into you until you’re lightheaded, but Keigo’s insistent about making you cum at least twice before even thinking about his own pleasure. And you can’t deny that you’re aching for him. You’re certain that you’ve soaked through your flimsy panties by now, and your mind is hazy with want.

You nod. Keigo takes your face in his hand, gently stroking your cheek with his thumb. “Can you give me your colors too?”

You force your mind to push through the fog, force your heavy lips to move and form words. “G-green for good, yellow for slow down, red for stop.”

“Good girl.” The praise goes straight to your core, and you whine. “Oh, baby, I know I just vowed to give you everything you could ever want, but you’re so damn needy. Be patient for me, okay? Let me touch you.”

You nod obediently, but you can’t fight the urge roll your hips and feel him again. With a soft, scolding noise, he presses one of his hands into your hipbone, effectively pinning you to the mattress. Try as you might, you can’t squirm away. He’s so ridiculously strong, his muscles toned from years of training and hero work, that you’re no match for him. But it’s not so bad. You love the dominance that oozes off his body as he moves down, his hands and tongue exploring every inch of skin that they can find. His teeth nip at the sensitive spot on your neck, the spot that always makes you melt for him. You shamelessly sigh and tilt your head to give him more access.

His right hand, the one that isn’t currently pinning you to the mattress, plays with the lacy edges of your bra. He palms you through the thin fabric, making you groan and arch your back into his touch. It’s not enough, you need more, need to feel more of him before you lose your mind. He seems to read your mind, because he doesn’t even bother to unclasp the bra, electing instead to rip it clean off your body. The snap of the straps breaking makes you gasp, but you revel in the sting of the elastic bouncing back against your skin.

“Couldn’t wait,” he says, not a hint of shame on his face. “You know how much I love to tease, but fuck, I need you now.”

He’s a bit more ceremonious when he removes your panties, choosing to use a hardened feather to slice through the fabric instead of just ripping with brute force. He fucking moans at the sight of you, wet and needy for him. It sounds like absolute heaven, but you don’t have even a second to revel in it before he’s diving into you. The sudden rush of pleasure is electrifying, and you go to instinctively slam your legs shut, but Keigo’s hand is too fast again. His tongue doesn’t falter for even a second as his fingers dig into your thighs and push you open. His lips wrap around your clit and suck, and he’s outrageously loud as he moans into your sex. It’s all so much – he’s licking at you like a man on death row, coaxing little whines and gasps from your lips.

His beautiful eyes are trained on yours, pupils blow out with love and lust. He memorizes every little expression that flits across your beautiful face as he eases a finger into you, eyes only leaving your face to admire the way that your little cunt sucks him in. But he can’t tear his gaze away from you, and the way your mouth falls open, or the way that your eyes flutter and roll back. The way that your hands ball up into fists, alternating between grabbing the bedsheets and lacing through his hair. Fuck, he loves how you pull at his hair when his fingers curl up against that spongy spot inside of you that makes you see stars. Loves the little curses and gasps of his name that spill past your lips as he scissors and thrusts his digits deeper and deeper into your perfect pussy.

“Cum for me, princess,” he groans. “Please, cum for me, need you to be a good girl and cum for me.”

And, well, you did just vow to give him everything that he could ever want.

You throw your head back and almost sob as you gush all over his face and fingers. He’s insatiable, licking and fingering you all through it, desperately trying to lap up every single drop of your juices. Your body is shaking, and you whimper, the overstimulation building until it’s too much, until you’re crying out too much, Kei, ‘s too much!

“Give me your color, baby,” he says, slowing his assault against your body.

“G-green,” you stutter out, the words as shaky as your legs. “Green, don’t stop, it’s just – ah! Kei!”

Your verbal confirmation was all he needed to dive back in, sucking at you with even more vigor than before. His fingers twist and curl against your spot, and his tongue lashes at your clit. He doesn’t stop for even a second, burying himself in your heat. It’s all you can do to maintain your grip on his hair, tugging at it just the way that he loves. You’re thrust headfirst into your second orgasm of the night, crying out his name and positively sobbing at the onslaught of sensations.

When he finally pulls away, the lower part of his face is soaked with your cum. He makes a show of licking his lips clean, not breaking eye contact with you, no matter how much you blush and squirm. He saves his fingers for you, though. A gentle tap at your lips is all it takes for you to obediently open your mouth and take in his digits. You swirl your tongue around, eyes lidded with the afterglow of your pleasure.

But you’re not finished, are nowhere near finished. You suppose that you are being needy, but how could you not, when your husband looks like an absolute fucking god? The candlelight makes your cum on his face glisten beautifully. You whine and pull him in for a kiss, mashing your lips against his and greedily swiping your tongues together. It’s sinful. You can taste yourself on him, and it makes you shudder, makes you need him that much more.

“Please, please fuck me,” you beg, wrapping your legs around his slim waist and trying to pull him closer, closer, closer. “Please, Kei, need you inside me, need my husband inside me.”

“Fuck,” he breathes, so quietly that you would’ve missed it if you didn’t feel the word formed against your lips. “Fuck, baby, okay.” His hand slides between your bodies and quickly pushes his boxers down. He uses a feather to pull them all the way off, because he can’t be bothered to focus on that, not when you’re practically drooling at the sight of his cock.

Your fingers twitch, and you aren’t able to hold back any longer. Your hand finds his cock, marveling at how heavy and perfect he feels as you wrap your fingers around him and guide him towards your sopping cunt. You pause before you slide him in, though, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Can I ride you? Please?”

He curses again under his breath, practically shivering at your words. His strong hands reposition the both of you, until you’re sitting on his thigh and he’s leaning back against the headboard. He cocks an eyebrow and smirks. “Well, then? Get to work, princess.”

You roll your eyes, trying not to laugh at his antics. “What happened to Mr. Let-Me-Take-Care-Of-You?”

“He’ll come out later. If my pretty wife wants to ride me, she gets to ride me.”

You laugh for real this time, but it quickly turns into a moan as you sink yourself down on his length. No matter how many times you take him, he always overwhelms your senses, always stretches you so deliciously. You lean your forehead against his and give yourself a second to adjust, and then you’re rolling your hips, little whines leaving your lips.

“Feels so good, Kei.” You throw your head back, your fingers digging into the strong muscles of his back to anchor yourself. “You always feel so good.”

His eyes are half-lidded and dark as he takes you in. He’s memorizing every inch of your body, every detail and movement that he absolutely fucking adores. “You’re the most beautiful thing in the world,” he whispers, seemingly more to himself than you. “So beautiful. I’m so lucky.”

Your thighs burn, but you force yourself to ignore the pain. You’d rather die than stop right now. His strong arms encircle your waist, and his wings surround your bodies, ruffling with every one of your movements.

You want to ignore your exhaustion, but your husband is perceptive as ever. His hips raise up to meet you, and it sends a fresh wave of pleasure through your body. You’re shaky, though, and you’re getting sloppy.

Before you can even process what’s happening, you’re being spun over and pinned to the mattress. A gasp leaves your lips, and you whine as his cock slips out of you. Your hand reaches out and paws around wildly, searching for him through your haze. Keigo’s quick to kiss you and shush your protests, entwining his rough fingers in your searching hand and stroking his thumb against your palm.

“Relax, angel. Let me take care of it.”

He slides into you again, making you both moan. Your pussy sucks him in greedily, clenching and fluttering around him. He pauses once he bottoms out. His face buries into the crook of your neck, and he presses sweet kisses all over your skin.

You wrap your legs around his waist and squeeze, trying desperately to make him move. “Keigo, baby, please,” you whine, fingers digging into the strong muscles of his back.

He coos, cupping your face and kissing you before he readjusts himself. “Of course, pretty girl.”

His thrusts are deep and hard, so hard that they make the entire bed shake. Your eyes flutter shut, but he grips your jaw and begs you to keep them open – please, baby, look at me, need to see my pretty wife fall apart.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” he moans, teeth nipping at your lips. “So perfect, and all mine.”

“All yours,” you agree. You’re practically babbling by this point, unable to stop the noises slipping past your lips. You’re floating on a cloud, soaring through the sky, anchored only by his body against yours. “You’re so deep in me, Kei, can feel you so deep in me. Please, ‘m so close, just a lil’ bit more, Kei.”

He coos again, hand slipping down to toy with your clit. You wail, sinking your teeth into his shoulder as the coil in your stomach snaps and you gush uncontrollably. You can’t do anything but cry out for him, can’t do anything but cling onto him and shake and twitch. The feeling of you clenching around him is too much, and with a broken fuck and a cry of your name, he spills inside of you. He fucks you through it, the obscene sounds of your combined release making you feel lightheaded and weak.

He holds you for a few minutes, just like that, bodies entwined. You both pant and try to catch your breath. The weight of his body on top of yours is comforting, so you protest when he finally pulls out and sits back to admire the way that his seed drips out of you.

“Come back,” you complain. “What kind of husband doesn’t give cuddles to his wife?”

“The kind of husband who needs to clean her up,” he says with a chuckle. “C’mon, let’s go take a bath.

Your body feels boneless with exhaustion and the hazy afterglow of your three orgasms, so you’re grateful when he scoops you into his arms. You tuck your face into his neck and hum contentedly, unable to stop the giddy smile that blooms across your face.

“I love you, Kei,” you say, planting little kisses over his neck and jaw.

“I love you too, princess,” he says, grinning and poking your nose. He laughs when you scrunch it up and scowl at him. But, with how cute he looks, you just can’t hold the scowl for long. Soon, you’re giggling too.

You look up at him with so much love that it makes his heart ache. His eyes grow a bit more serious, and he dips his head to kiss at your swollen lips. “I mean it, baby. I’m so happy to spend the rest of my life with you.”

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taeminsbff-archive · 8 years ago

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#ive been crying all day #when my friends texted me to tell me i thought it was some cruel prank #even now i feel like its a dream and im going to wake up and this will all be fake #im not sure if its shock but it hasnt registered that he’s gone but it’ll hit me every few minutes and i’ll tear up again #fffhcjj i have so so much work i should be doing i have a huge exam tomorrow and my scholarship apps are due tonight and i need that money #but i cant bring myself to work i keep disassociating i cant focus #jonghyun was so wonderful he was such a positive and honest person #he never hid how down he was feeling and he always offered such encouraging beautiful words i only wish he couldve taken what he was saying #to heart #his letter resonated with me so much it is so difficult to be okay with living when youre being forced to only live for others #and with the burden of being an idol the pressure must have been so much stronger i am so sorry we couldnt see the extent of your pain #im a mess im absolutely devastated

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05velvet · 7 years ago

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✨✨

#can i just say that i hate that all the posts about jonghyun are about his death #like i kinda grew away from shinee #and i was a super casual fan #and it feels almost inauthentic to be sad #like it feel just wrong to be sad #which is why i didnt really talk about it personally #and just reblogged stuff #and ive been thinking of getting a tat but again it just feels disingenuous #idk i probs will anyway bc it really is for me #but at the same time i feel like guilty for being a bigger fan of other groups #and for like not appreciating them and him enough idk if this even makes sense #or if any of u are reading this #but yeah idk i had and still have love for him but my sadness still feels weird bc that love wasnt what it always was?#the news still hit me really hard? and im still like dealing #which ik that sounds extra bc i didnt know him but i knew him through his art and at one point he was extremely important to me #and that importance didnt leave though it did wane? kinda?#and so im still dealing and listening to his music and watching like funny moments and things and that helps #bc he really was so good #and so to sum this mess up i miss him but im not sure im allowed to #bc when he was here i didnt appreciate him?#this doesn't make sense #even to me so if ur still reading ur a real one sorry this is a mess i just wanted to vocalize this #also bc hes a celebrity i think everyone expects me to be done now #like cool u were sad move on but im not there yet and idk when i will be #jonghyun #i want this in that tag for like future reference #also the first sentence of this should say all the posts on my blog like that ive reblogged

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cloudytaemin · 3 years ago

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Frost (Act I)

Pairing: Taemin x Reader

Series Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut

Chapter Genre: Angst, Mild Fluff

Warnings: None

WC: 1.64k

Summary: Taemin kept a secret. You found it eventually, but it tore both of you apart. He knows he messed up, he knows that he longs for you every single day but can't go to you. At least not until now.

A/N: Okay. So. This story is dedicated to my dearest @taemin-jaemin for our fic exchange that I am horribly horribly late to, but I changed the story for this more times than I can even count so. It's a little bit of everything, I hope you like it! It was too long to be one big piece for my liking, so I split it into two. Fluff, angst, and smut? What could go wrong, honestly.

Full of loneliness, this garden bloomed Full of thorns, I bind myself in this sand castle

Taemin brushes his fingers over the rose petals, tears flowing from his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, gulping. “It was my fault, why can’t I have you back?” He asks himself, voice cracking.

His maid runs along the stone path of the garden, looking for him. “Taemin? Where are you?” She calls, rounding the corner. “Oh, master,” she sees his hunched back, rays of the sun illuminating him.

“I know you miss y/n,” she crouches in front of him and tries to meet his eyes, the eyes that desperately avoid her at every moment. ”Do you want me to bring you some water?” She tilts her head and sadly watches the ice prince get torn apart by his tormenting thoughts, the never-ending cycle she can only spectate.

Taemin leans forward until his head lands on his maid’s shoulder, crying out at the pain he feels. He clutches the rose in his hand until the thorns pierce his skin, until they begin to distract him from the painful memory that he betrayed you.

What is your name, do you have a place to go Oh, could you tell me?

”Do you want to come over to my house?” He asks as you get the door to your own slammed in your face, telling you to never come back.

”He’ll open it in another hour when he realizes that was my brother’s report card and not mine,” you say, rolling your eyes.

”You can text him and say you’re coming to my place,” the boy says, picking up your backpack.

”Hold on a minute.” You stop and he knits his eyebrows, puzzled. “What’s your name again?”

”y/n, are you kidding me right now?!” He exclaims, pouting.

“Y-yes?” You try to defend yourself but give up quickly. ”I’m unfortunately not actually… all I know is that your last name’s Lee!”

”Yeah, I am Lee. Lee Taemin,” he finishes. For extra effect, the blonde haired high schooler turns and does the James Bond shot with a finger gun.

You giggle and start to walk down the driveway to his car, opening the door of the Aston-Martin carefully. “You know I could never afford a car like this, I don’t even know how you do.”

”It’s ‘cause I’m from the west side of the city. One day you’ll get rich, I‘ll make sure to live to see it.“

I saw you hiding in this garden, and I know All of your warmth is real

Another rose petal turns to ice between Taemin’s fingers as he rubs it softly. He curses under his breath and swallows, trying to hold his tears from coming back up. “I’m sorry,” he whispers.

His phone buzzes and he pulls it out of the pocket of his beige overcoat, the same one you loved.

M: Hey Taem, wanna have lunch? Me and Jinki are going out, I think Jonghyun is coming too if he’s not with Kibum

T: Not today

T: Maybe tomorrow, but have fun

He feels his phone buzz again as he drops it back into the oversized pocket, but ignores it.

He reminisces on how you would smile when he made it snow over the garden, made perfect little snowflakes all for you. Your warmth melted all of his sadness away, kept him from turning his world to an icy haze.

Don't smile to me Light on me

”Hey favorite human,” Taemin smiles to you and holds out a warm coffee.

”Hey favorite human!” You echo, taking the paper cup and thanking him softly. “You don’t have to keep buying me coffee you know.”

Taemin scoffs lightly, no offense behind it. “I buy you coffee because you’re y/n, not because of anything else.”

“What’s so special about being me?” You inquire, taking a sip of the liquid. “I haven’t done anything special.”

He places his own coffee on the bench and directs his eyes to his lap. A sheepish smile paints his lips and he blinks two beats faster. He reaches into the pocket of his beige overcoat and pulls out a small envelope. “Just… trust me. You’re special. Maybe this will tell you why. Read it after you go home, okay?”

”Why not now?”

“Always curious, I should have known you’d ask. I know I’m not the smartest, but maybe just go with me on this, for once in your life.“ He picks up the drink and stands, bidding you a good winter break and goodbye.

Because I can't get closer to you There's no name you can call me

"I'm not in love with you anymore, Taem, I don't know what else to say," he repeats the ill-fated words to himself again and again.

He had given you his world. His entire world. Taemin flurries a small pile of snow into his hand until it's enough for him to make into a miniature snowman, one that makes him remember you again. This time he smiles, a tiny, sad smile that brings tears to his eyes.

It's not a mystery where you are, it's just a matter of time of when he can bring himself to face you again. Every day he knows that you're only an hour drive away, working in that little coffee shop on the corner of second and seventh.

But, despite this fact, he knows that you would treat him like a stranger. He knows you'd only serve him the coffee he asked for and move on with your day, even when that coffee was the one he used to buy you every Wednesday.

Taemin liked warm things, he liked hot drinks because he was so cold. His icy powers only made him colder, the heat of the coffees or teas going down his throat made him feel more alive.

Without you he forced himself into the cold. He had turned his back on you, so you eventually did the same. Even if he had still loved you, he didn't make it clear.

I can't show you a ruined part of myself Once again I put on a mask and go to see you

"What are you doing?!" You scream, watching as Taemin slams a vase onto the floor, shattering it into millions of pieces.

He snaps his head in your direction, eyes ice-blue. They begin to fade as his eyebrows unfurl and his scowl disappears. "y/n."

You're unable to move from the shock. A corner of the room is frosted up to the ceiling, paint covered by the icy pattern. Glass is shattered in various spots, picture frames are broken with the photos torn out.

"It's not what it looks like, I-"

"You what?! You fucking what, Taemin?! The entire room is in shreds, you've got some crazy blue eyes going on, the damn walls have frost covering them, what do you mean it's not what it looks like?! What am I even supposed to think?! How does shit like this even happen?!" Tears flow down your cheeks as you yell, unable to comprehend anything you're seeing.

He knew his act was up, you'd seen the worst part of him. A part he wasn't ready to show you. "Just give me time, you weren't supposed to find out like this, I was going to tell you-"

"Tell me what?! What are you keeping?! I understand that this is your room and your house but I never knew you were even this way! If not now, then fucking when, Taemin..." you wipe your eyes and run out of the room, only to hear him chase after you.

"y/n, wait!"

Bloomed in a garden of loneliness A flower that resembles you

Today is the day, he thinks. Maybe today he'll be able to face you. He steps out of the same Aston-Martin from all those years ago in front of the little coffee shop.

His leather gloves are slowly pulled off his hands as he walks inside, taking a deep whiff of the air. It smells undeniably like coffee beans and cocoa, but there's always a soft undertone of your perfume that he knew nobody else could notice.

It'd been years since he last visited the small cafe. It felt nice to see a few customers here and there, to see other people. A little girl comes running out from behind the counter, sporting your hair color and nose. "Hello, sir!" She tugs on the edge of Taemin's overcoat.

"Hi, little one," he whispers, leaning down to meet her eyes. "Who would you be?"

"Yena!" she beams at him. "Wanna see my stuffed ducky?"

"Sure, why not," he smiles again as she runs away, going to retrieve the stuffed animal.

I am shattered I'm so afraid

You sit with your back turned, feeling betrayed. "You really thought it wasn't a big deal?"

"I had it under control, it was better, nobody was getting hurt anymore," Taemin says, turning the frozen flower in his hands.

"But what about trust?" You ask, sighing.

He doesn't respond, you only hear him gulp before the bed caves behind you, he's sat down.

"It's important to say these kinds of things, you could have... ended up truly hurting someone. What about when we have a child, what if I never knew? What if you ended up hurting her?" You whisper.

"What?!" He stands back up, heels of his boots thumping against the floor. "You think I'd end up hurting our goddamn child? You trust me that little?!" He raises his voice.

"I don't know, what if you spiraled out of control again?!" You raise yours right back, finally turning to look him in the eyes.

"God dammit y/n, what the hell are you expecting from me? Do you think I'm a monster?" He asks, running his fingers through his hair.

"Maybe you are." You cut the conversation off.

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