#my kokoro cannot accept this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

byrdtrollsunoreversearchive · 1 year ago

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In Loving Memory of Kokoro Kimura

Fleet Correspondence, 4/4/753, Archen (Cleanser) Aurela to Artemi (Midas) Anatol, reads the plain black archives folder.

The simple fact of the matter is, we have reached the point where the population and renown of your ‘small port side town’ has long since exceeded the levels with which the fleet is comfortable no longer being involved in it, which is putting it nicely.

The letter begins.

You cannot lie, cheat and steal your way into creating what is basically a sovereign city state on this planet. You are lucky you have run unchecked for so long. Such an offense could be forgiven, if Midas were to make an honest case for being a GHB over Tes Roven. I am once again frustrated that you have derailed our correspondence from him. We are making a generous compromise with you and you will not even allow us to speak with who is in charge. The fleet will not ask again. Midas must come forward and swear loyalty to the empire to lay any sort of claim to this territory.

Hi,

This is Kokoro Kimura, again. Your ludicrous compromise is not the middle ground you imagine it to be.

You will not be corresponding with Midas, nor will he be making any kind of claim to this territory. Tes Roven belongs to me.

I have long since been in charge of its entire economy, its governance, its workforce, and all its public affairs. I have the documentation going back 200 sweeps to prove it, and I have copies attached.

I can see your confusion around Midas as a figurehead. I know he is exactly the kind of troll you want to have raised a city state from nothing, and I allowed you to indulge in this fantasy in the hopes of avoiding conflict. For sweeps I have given him the credit for the work I did to install him and create this place. But I must disappoint you- him and Gihyun both work for me.

And any attempt to transfer this power to pigeonhole it into your narrow ideas of caste would result in the city falling apart at the seams.

I accept your facade of ever having this conversation on logical terms at face value- as a facade. All logic insists that I am capable of running this city. I have been doing it, unbeknownst to you, for 200 sweeps. But the fleet’s carnevale impression of reality could never cave to such reasonable terms. You aim to refuse me on the basis of my blood color and lay siege to my home as a result.

Let us not be polite with each other.

Your pretend negotiation reveals your cowardice. I would not be receiving letters from you were you not scared.

I will offer you a way out fitting of a coward. Make me a backdoor. Make me a loophole.

Make me a shiny little medal that says once in five million sweeps an oliveblood could serve in your system of governance but only if he’s the specialist boy.

And sure, I will swear loyalty to your military. I’ll make myself a cozy little corner of alternia and I’ll never bother you again.

Bend your rules backwards just enough that you will not force me to break them.

And before you attempt to lecture me on my audacity, recall that I could have kept this information from you. Remember that I could have stayed quiet- I could have told Midas to humor you and continued behind the scenes. Renowned fleet military strategy experts ask yourself. If this of all things is the first card I played. Then what else am I keeping in my hand?

Hello again, Kimura.

Even in whatever ridiculous fantasy world you must think we live in, I cannot imagine there is much else in your ‘hand’. Your bluff is transparent and pathetic. Centuries of paperwork do not actual power make. I would be frustrated by your foolishness if I did not find it so amusing. What kind of trolls do you surround yourself with that have allowed you to become so delusional about your place?

You say you don’t want to be polite- fine. We will be at your doorstep next evening, to kill you. Our strategists examined your logic and found a fatal flaw- assuming you have something else in your hand requires that we first assume you are not an idiot. We find no evidence to base such an assumption.

The exchange ends there.

Sunset leafs through the rest of the papers for Kokoro’s next response, but only finds what must be the 200 sweeps worth of paperwork Kokoro had sent the fleet. At first glance it looks real, but he doesn’t know much about bookkeeping. The young mafia lord briefly considers running it by an expert. Not out of doubt of the oliveblood claims, but in the name of being thorough. Yet he cannot think of a troll he would trust with the information. He pauses. Sunset pulls out his camera, and begins the painstakingly slow process of photographing every single one of the pages with his phone.

The fleet archives camera blinks its slow, red light in the corner about him. The loop they’re feeding into the security footage of a blank room will only keep running for another hour. His knowledge that he only has so much time wrestles with his want to be methodical and careful. He has wiped his presence from the minds of any of the fleet personnel he passed, but sadly, his voodoos did not work on machines. He finishes his documentation in the nick of time, leaving him 15 minutes to exit the facility. He carefully places the papers back into their classified file with his gloved hands, and speedily makes his exit. The gears of his mind doing catapults around the information he had barely had time to fully process. Kokoro’s words echoing in his mind. Tes Roven belongs to me.

300 sweeps ago, Gihyun Yupark bursts into Kokoro’s room, slamming a pile of papers down on his desk.

“What the fuck is this” The Jadeblood hisses.

“A woman who can’t knock” The olive shrugs. “And a pile of papers, though I assume you refer to what's on them” Jokes the man.

“Don’t play stupid, Koko.” She says. “Since when do I fucking work for you!”

“Since when do you read my mail?” Kokoro says, straightening the letters.

“Since you tried to pull a fast one on me with that art gallery job 70 sweeps ago” She accuses. “And this is not even your mail! It’s Midas’s, which YOU derailed.”

“Oh, save it, Gi” He says, with an amount of venom in the man’s voice you are unaccustomed to hearing in his exchanges with Gihyun. “It was a double cross. But I didn’t say a word that wasn’t true.”

“I don’t work for you” She repeats.

“I have 200 sweeps of paperwork that says different.”

“You do the books” She says. “We do the-”

“Killing people” He autocompletes her sentence. “Do you realize, how much fucking work it is? To run a fucking city? Do you have any idea what the two of you dumped on me when you said we want the glory and you do the paperwork, Gi?”

“You could have said no,” She retorts, pointing.

“I could not have said no,” He replies. “I knew you and Midas would be dead in days without me.”

“You’re going to get yourself killed!” She snaps.

“You have so little faith in me?” He grins.

“I��m not joking around, Kokoro! This is serious! I’m mad because I CARE about you! Why in ten million sweeps would you do such a thing!” She rants.

“Was I supposed to just. Let you two get all the credit. For the rest of time?” He says, staring at the table.

“That’s not what I said, Koko, we arranged things like this to keep you safe.” She pleads.

“Yeah, in a way that just coincidentally massively benefits both of you. Sure.” He says, almost sounding bored.

It is a moment before she speaks again.

“If you felt this way,” She says slowly. “Why didn’t you talk to me? I would have gotten it.”

“No, you wouldn’t” He hisses. “You are a midblood, Gi!”

There is a long, tense pause.

“You’re going to get yourself killed.” She repeats.

“I have a plan,” He says.

“Of course you have a plan. This is still dumb” She says. “I’m telling him.”

“Gi” Kokoro says, instantly switching his tone. “Come on. Snitches get-”

“This is literally!” She says, throwing up her arms, “HIS mail. Don’t you think your Kismesis gets to know you told The Cleanser to his face you wanted him to make you the first oliveblood GHB?”

“That’s not what that said” He retorts.

“Then what does it say, Koko. What does it say?” Gihyun Yupark says, gesturing at the letter. “Enlighten me.”

It is Kokoro’s turn to be silent. He mulls on this for a long, long moment. The jadeblood in front of him narrows her eyes, and then storms out of the room.

Sunset wishes he could tell you the exact moment he knew. Those waters were muddied first by Midas’s absence from public life for 300 sweeps. Secondly by Sunsets complete lack of interest in the matter. And third with denial and emotion. Maybe when he first found a black and white photograph, of young Midas with his arms over his friends in a small casino, the first one The Falling Moon’s ever opened, and noted the shape of his horns. Maybe the several times in passing, he has walked by one of those little shrines to Kokoro and a friend, Casmie or Toni or Rasley, had unprompted told him jokingly, you look just like him. Occam’s razor decrees that the most reasonable explanation is the most likely. But it could never account for the twists and turns of an unpredictable universe.

Maybe he knew, sometime in the back of his head, as he zoned out at night staring at the door to his office, and the mirror across the way. Watching how, if he moved his head just right, the symbol on the door- the falling moon on fire, lines up with his horns oh so perfectly. So perfectly that no conclusion could be made other than it was that way by design. He had dismissed it, miles of reasonable evidence. He told himself even if it were true it wouldn’t matter to him. It wouldn’t change his mind, it wouldn’t change how he thought of either of them.

Midas was Midas. And Kokoro had abandoned all of them. He had left the smoldering pile of ash that was their city, to burn, and burn, and burn. But eventually, he caved, reckoning, if he was right, he did not want to be caught unaware, he did not want Midas to know more than he did. They only talked through Enin, Midas’s ever patient messenger. He could not be sure if the man had guessed. If Enin had shown him pictures, if Enin had described him to him. Enin must know. But Sunset knew him well enough to know the mirror creature had been the mafia long enough to know when to hold a trump card to his chest, and wait for the time it was valuable.

Against his will, the acceptance of this theory stirred long dead emotions in him. Sometimes, when wallowing in the tragedy of his youth, he imagined he had met Midas, when he was young, too young to remember, and the man had shook his head, glanced at his mutation, and rejected him. Sold him to that circus, or threw him out on the street. It was a strange kind of comfort to pretend such a rejection had already occurred. It rested the matter from his mind. But he had no way of knowing it was true. And he had enough reasons to hate Midas without making up imaginary ones.

The opposite fantasy upset him more. When he was young, he often pictured some distant relative, maybe an ancestor or an ancestors friend, or just a kind hearted soul, spotting him in the circus, whisking him away to a life of luxury and safety. Telling him he never belonged in such a place, that it was over. His pan could not help but wander, to the possibility, that Midas might have been that savior. That he may not reject him. That he had no idea where or what Sunset was, and if he did, he would free him, raise him into this life of excess and luxury and cruelty. Only the best for his descendant. Maybe give him his surgery even earlier than he had had it. The thought sickened him. He didn’t want to imagine what kind of troll he may have grown up to be in that case.

Midas, at least, he knew he hated without question. But his thoughts on Kokoro were too complex to count. An uneasy dislike. Suspicion, bitterness. Would he have preferred to be saved by the man he had quickly guessed was his ‘other’ ancestor? He could not tell you. He did not hate him as much as he hated Midas. But he had no love for him either. He was the only one in this city who knew the extent of his cowardice. Tes Roven had paid for it ten times over. The consequences of Midas’s reign. The reign he would have never had had Kokoro not ran, and ran, and ran.

But there were things to admire about him, undoubtedly. He now had an extensive economic record of how he structured the city. That and more he had dug up for old files. Kokoro had run several money laundering fronts. He had told rich highbloods hey- let me launder your money for you so you don’t have to pay fleet taxes. He siphoned off funds from these places in secret and sent them to community centers, libraries and infrastructure repair. The way in which he structured Tes Roven’s economy back in the day had been so intelligent Sunset frequently found himself stealing his ideas.

And he was an underdog. Hard not to root for an underdog, even if he couldn’t finish the fight he started. A scraggly mutt charging headfirst for a bigger, bigger animal. He did not know what to do with his fragile sympathy for him. It somehow made things worse.

The whole thing felt like one last kick to a wounded soul. He wanted to destroy the engineers of his suffering. But now he was forced to reckon with his similarities to them.

Because… he was similar to them. Prideful. Intelligent. Stubborn. Righteous. A liar and a hypocrite. A holder of grudges and a maker of great escapes.

He was the best of both of them.

He was the worst of both of them.

He was something else entirely. A tapestry of faults and virtues that paid their dues to both nurture and nature. He was fate itself on some fucked up kind of drug. He was the undoing of both of them. He was their rapture.

He could not tell you when he first knew. But he could not stop knowing. Could not fathom how to carry so invisible a burden. The weight of this knowledge silently flowed out of him at all times like a collapsing dam.

He had told no one.

300 sweeps ago, the same night, another visitor comes to Kokoro’s door with a gentle and patient knock. Koko is not seated at his desk now, the man is circling the desk in his office, pacing. He pauses, abruptly stopping the long march that had occupied the better part of the last three hours, inhaling.

“Why bother,” He says. “Gihyun’s already burst in here.”

“Koko,” Midas says softly, calling him Gihyuns nickname with such practiced affection and ease that it seems more his than hers. It is somehow both a warning and a plea.

Kokoro exhales, like the breath he started at the beginning of his sentence has only now just found the grace to leave his body.

“Come in” He says, with a gesture at the Door that the purpleblood likely cannot even see. “Get it over with.”

Midas steps into the room, looking so lost and tired for a man of his stature, the paintings and items on the walls and cabinets looming over them to the point they almost dwarf the man. Perhaps he stood that way, His back bent, with that languished expression, on purpose.

“I love you,” Are the first words that come out of his mouth, falling to the ground like a gift given and promptly dropped and shattered on the floorboards.

“I love you,” Kokoro says softly, “but…?” He extrapolates the end of Midas’s sentence from the air. “I love you but this puts you in danger, but this is idiotic, but this destroys everything we’ve spent centuries building, but how dare you?”

“I love you” Midas repeats, hanging up his coat on the rack. “Period.”

Kokoro seems caught off guard by this, stumbling blindly into the amiable conversation having braced for one identical to Gihyun’s.

“This,” The purpleblood makes a tired halfway gesture with his hands, flopping one gently in the air. “Only destroys everything we’ve spent centuries building, if you lose.” He continues. “And I know you don’t start fights you can’t win” He says. “So.” Midas lifts both hands halfway through the air in a shrug like gesture. “What do you need from me?”

For some reason, his approval made him even more trepidatious than his anger ever could. Gihyun hates the idea, Midas loves it. Against his will, second thoughts bang on the closed door of his mind with frenzy. Somewhere in his secret heart Koko must know which of these trolls he trusted more.

“What’d Gi say to you?” He says.

“She threatened to walk.” Midas says. “Said she’d take her third of the mafia with her. Wanted me to join her.”

“You said no?” Kokoro challenges.

“I said no,” He retorts.

“Why?” He says.

“Hey,” he says softly. “I’m with you Dushen’ka,” He says. “I think you were right. That’s why I did it.”

“Yeah?” Kokoro questions, still bristling, but his confidence starts to falter. “How’d that serve you?”

Midas meets his gaze, the man’s tired eyes staring so deep into Kokoro’s eyes he felt his image could step forward and climb through the little cornea.

“Do you have any idea?” He says. “What a weight off my shoulders it would be to not have to pretend? About anything anymore?” He takes a step forward. “To not live a life built so precariously on a foundational lie? I know you. You lead, I follow.” He takes the oliveblood by the shoulders.

“I love you Koko, you were right.”

Some of the tension starts to gradually, slowly fall from Koko’s shoulders. There is something off about these words, but they are comfortable, as easy to fall into as a feather bed.

“I stole your mail” He says, the last echoes of protest bouncing off the walls with a quiet death.

“Yeah, and you stole a Rembrandt from me 30 sweeps ago. What’s another double cross between a laundry list of them longer than Alternia’s circumference. It’s what we do. There are things more important to both of us than that.” He says, cupping the other man’s cheek.

Kokoro sighs, falling into his touch.

“What do you need from me?” Midas repeats. “What’s the plan?”

“The plan is fucked” Kokoro says. “If Gi walks. I need her numbers.”

“Then we’ll think of another one,” He says, wrapping his arms around the troll. “It’s so simple, Dushen’ka” He says, and Kokoro looks up at him, the oliveblood caught on every word, or maybe caught up in the warmth of his arms, the bigger trolls scratchy chin resting on his forehead. The ease of it all. It would be lovely for things to be simple, to be able to believe that, for even a moment.

“We kill Gihyun” Midas finishes. And Kokoro blinks, stiffening like a cold wind had just overtaken him, immediately and completely.

“We blame the fleet.” He continues, as if it were a list, as if it were reasonable, inevitable, rational. “All of her favorites- will want revenge so badly. They’ll hop right on board with us. We’ll be heroes to them.” He lists, running a hand through his hair.

The ever calculating, untrustful soul of Kokoro Kimura scrambles to whir up, to decide his next words.

No way on heaven or earth they would do such a thing. Not for a moment. Not as a hypothetical. Not as a bluff. Not if he was offered all the riches in the world- not if the fleet handed him Tes Roven on a silver platter, not if it was the only way to save ten drowning kittens. In no universe, in no world, in no solemn hidden corner of the galaxy, in no shady closet or open hallway or darkest corner in his mind. Would Kokoro Kimura kill Gihyun Yupark.

But he could not say that, could he?

This was moves and countermoves- it had to be. Midas must be testing his loyalty, his faith. If he failed, the purpleblood would probably go straight to the fleet. If he protested, the man might lash out. If he said no, he would have no power over Midas- he would have nothing but the tense bridge of love offered between them that could be retracted at any moment.

He would have to agree. He would have to agree, and then insist on taking the matter into his own hands, to buy him time, to keep Midas from doing it himself. But he must do it only after just enough protest that he finds it genuine. But not so much protest he was angered.

“There has to be another way,” He says slowly.

“Koko, she’s as good as killed you by not siding with you on this” Midas says. “She betrayed the gang- threatened to tear it apart. Would you accept this from any subordinate? Would you ever be able to trust her again? She doesn’t believe in you like I do.”

“Midas” He pleads. “It’s Gi.”

“Power like the kind you want,” he says, “does not come without a price. Is not maintained without ruthlessness. You know that.” He says. “I don’t like it anymore than you do. But there is no other way. She could be going to her staff right now. We don’t have time to hesitate.”

He is silent for an age. The weight of hours and days folded into the solemn contemplation of but a minute or two.

“Okay” He says. “I’ll do it.” He promises.

Midas releases his grip on him, lifting the man's hands in a picture of knighthood and loyalty.

“Have strength,” He says, kissing his knuckle. “I’ll see you on the other side, Koko.”

The oliveblood takes a deep breath.

And exits the room.

This was the last time they spoke to each other. I could not tell you which man was the better liar. Facades atop facades. Masks over masks. Treachery and loyalty and love and pain. They had perfected it, they expected it from each other. Words to them were not a vessel to truth as much as they were means to an end. Did Midas believe Kokoro? Did Kokoro believe Midas?

It doesn’t matter.

It is 300 sweeps ago. I would say it was the same night, but the hours have since passed barely into the next day’s morning. Kokoro bursts into Gihyuns door without knocking.

“Gi!” He yells.

“Here to talk me out of it?” She retorts, having cracked open the window in her office to smoke.

“Midas wants to kill you” he says.

“Is that a threat?” She retorts.

“Of course not!” He snaps.

“Gonna sound so offended?” She says. Taking a long drag.

“You think I’d kill you!” He accuses.

“Who’s to know, Koko?” she says. “Everybodies lost their minds. Everybody heard ‘GHB over Tes Roven’ and got dollar signs in their eyes so big they can’t process reality anymore. Who gives a fuck.”

“Did you even read my letter?” He retorts.

“I skimmed it,” She says. “Then I was so blinded by your stupidity I had to lay down for a second.”

“I’m not doing this for money.” He says, quietly. “I wanted to make a difference.”

“Then you should have kept your mouth shut,” Gihyun says.

“Easy for you to say,” he says.

“Soo…?” She says.

“Sooo…?” He echoes.

“All those bastards you pissed off are coming” She says. “What’re you waiting for?”

“I had to make sure you’re okay,” He says.

“Koko,” she says softly. “You’re an idiot.” She says. “He played you.”

Kokoro pauses, squinting up at her.

Gihyun closes the window, walking back over to her desk. She picks up a sealed letter, with Midas’s moon wax seal pressed onto the envelope.

“Your boyfriend already wrote back to the fleet.” She says.

“You fucking. Mail gremlin” Kokoro blurts out without thinking.

Gihyun blinks incredulously, affronted.

“Excuse me?” she retorts, tossing him the thing.

Kokoro opens it, parsing its contents.

“He said yes to their offer” she summarizes. “He probably only told you all that shit about killing me to distract you. And it worked.” She says, throwing up her arms.

“You have the letter,” He says. “It didn’t get sent.”

“The fleet’s coming anyway.” She replies. “He can just tell them in person.”

Kokoro begins to pace, as he had been earlier, erratically.

“The two of us could take him,” He says.

“The two of us?” She replies.

He pauses. “Yes, Gi, the two of us.” He says. “Whatever you feel about me you must know we’d be better at it than him.”

“Yeah.” She says.

“Things were better,” Kokoro says. “When he was just a figurehead.”

The jadeblood sighs. “He was my friend before he was yours. Yet…he’s clearly made his choice” She says, gesturing at the letter once more. “I hate to say I prefer anyone as a puppet. But yeah, we might have fucked up giving him access to unconditional power and acclaim. Went straight to his head. Now he’s trying all the sneaky, backhanded shit he learned from you.”

“From you too.”

“From both of us,” She says. “He put my life on the table,” Gihyun recalls. “That was too far.”

“It was a bluff.” Kokoro defends.

“You believed him without question,” she retorts. “You did not hesitate for a second to run here. You cannot tell me you trust the man.

“No further than I trust you” he retorts.

Something like hurt flashes across the woman's face, but it’s gone in an instant.

“Liar,” Gihyun says.

“This is not…” He sighs. “This is just- part of the game. He fucked us over, fine. But is that the last line in the sand? How come he’s irredeemable and we’re not? Have we not killed? Have we not betrayed? Have we not fucked each other in desperate, personal ways.”

“I thought you were meant to be making the case” She says. “To team up against him”

“I am,” He says. “But not to kill him.”

“I see,” She says.

He sighs in answer. “So you’re in?”

She stares. “So what, then, joint leadership until the next time you decide to fuck me over?”

“That's the business” He says.

“I’m sick,” She says. “Of the fucking business.” She narrates, as he continues to pace. “How many centuries- two hundred sweeps- have the three of us been trading double crosses and lies and fucking each other over over and over again.” She throws up her hands.

“Then leave” He hisses. “But let me keep your crew.”

“You really think this,” Gihyun gestures, “Is what love is supposed to look like?”

He stops, again, his back to the woman.

“That’s besides the point.” He stutters. “You’ve fucked me over” He retorts. “Just as many times- if not more- than I’ve done to you.”

“So what?” She stutters. “I’m not allowed to say this is awful?”

“You started this” He retorts.

“I what?” She replies.

“You think I haven’t been keeping track?” He replies.

“Of the ongoing, endless game of treachery all three of us have been engaged in since we were what, s-”

“Seven” Kokoro retorts. “When we were seven you two fucked me over on that pocketwatch scam.”

She stares at him for a long, long time. “SO?” She says. “That’s your- justification??? That’s your moral highground??? Decades of this bullshit because what?? Me and Midas played a mean prank on you when we were teenagers that barely would have cost you 20 caegars? Are you fucking kidding me?” She says, stepping forward, looming over the smaller troll.

He seems not sure how to respond to this. Wrapping his arms around himself.

“This is not about moral highground.” He says. “There is none.”

“What is it about?” She says, sitting down, putting out her cigarette on an ashtray. “Suffering the most?”

He closes his eyes.

“You deserve better,” She gestures. “Than a life of constantly looking over your shoulder. I deserve better. We both do.”

Kokoro does not know what to do, unsteady and uncomfortable with this sudden and complete vulnerability. As fragile and untrustworthy to him as it had been when it came from Midas’s mouth. Gihyun stares at him, for a long moment before she begins to understand he never intends to look him in the eyes. So she stops offering that piercing gaze, her eyes turning to the window.

“I’ve been thinking about going to college,” she says.

“What?” He says.

“Don’t laugh.” She warns. “I know I'm two hundred.”

“What would you- what would you study?” He says, still uneasy, but this road of conversation is easier to him than grand declarations of who deserves what.

“I have no idea” She laughs. “I just remember. When we were kids. Mugging people on street corners. Talking about all the shit we would do once we pulled off one, huge, enormous job that would set us for life. Talking about what we wanted to do with our lives. When all this'' she gestures grandly at the walls of their casino on the top of the hill.

“Was just fantasy and signs scribbled on old notebook paper and scraps. I remember you said you wanted to go to college. I forget what I said.” She says. “We’re rich now. But we never did all that shit.”

“How will you- have the time, with the gang” he says.

“Don’t you get it, Koko?” She says, not yet looking back at him. “When I said I’m done, I’m done.”

He is silent in answer. Some part of his brain was still protesting that this was a play.

“So it’s just over?” He says. “We’re over?”

“What were we to begin with, Koko? Me, you and Midas barely act like we even like each other.”

“I made this place,” he says. “From the ground up. Can you just say this once” He stumbles. “That this isn’t fair?”

She stares at him. “This isn’t fair,” she says, quietly. “Of course it should have been you. In any just, reasonable world, it should have been you, it should have been you from the start. Me and Midas all we ever had was brutality, but you, were the beating heart of all of this. And without you Tes Roven never even would have existed at all.”

“So I just have to stay here” he says, trying to keep the waver from his voice. “And sort out this mess?”

She opens her mouth to remind him he made this mess in the first place, but stops herself. It was probably bound to happen, one way or the other, it won’t help her case.

“That’s up to you.” She says, instead.

He finally meets her gaze. “What do you mean?” He says softly.

She steps forward and takes his hands in hers, in a sudden and complete show of the desperation she had been scared to voice. “Come with me” she pleads. “Don’t you think being moirails could be more than just a game to us?”

Kokoro stares, dumbfounded. Even the echoes of violent paranoia within him unable to conceive how them both leaving the mafia could be some sort of mind game. Such an open show of affection is not as easy for them as it would someday come to be. He is taken completely aback. Against his will, against every tyrannically oppressive and restrained bone in his body. Tears begin to fill his eyes.

“Why would you wait till I’m about to die?” he chokes. “To say such a thing to me?”

“I thought you weren’t going to die,” she replies.

“I wasn’t.” He stutters, attempting to compose himself, glancing away. “I’m not.”

“You want me to be honest, Koko?” She says. “I believe you could do it. I believe whatever insane, mindfucky game you had in mind when you sent that letter could work. I know you wanted them to count on an assumption of your stupidity. I know somewhere in my heart that you just might have scraped by the skin of your teeth into some position of power” She says. “But this isn’t a battle you just have to win once.”

“If you help any kind of real power- attached to your real face- your real name- there would be a target on your back that could never be washed off. They’d never stop coming for you. They’d never stop assuming your weakness and hating your ambition. You wouldn’t have to win a once in a lifetime battle once. You’d have to do it a thousand times. You would have to do it every single day for the rest of your life. And I know you. And I can’t imagine you doing that without giving more of yourself than it's ever healthy to give.”

“This isn’t about me,” he says, staring at the floor.

“It isn’t?”

“I have a duty,” he says, gesturing to the window. “To these people.”

“You have a duty to yourself!” She snaps. “You have a duty to the people who care about you!”

“This is bigger than one troll,” he retorts.

“Why do YOU SPECIFICALLY have to save Alternia, Koko!! Why is that YOUR burden?”

“I can’t stand it,” He says. “The world being the way it is.”

“Well, that’s not your fault” She retorts.

He closes his eyes. Gripping Gihyuns hands around his like a lifeline. He takes a deep breath, one that fills corners of his body and mind he didn’t even know we’re empty.

“Fine,” He says. “What about Midas?” he says. “What about the fleet coming to kill me?”

“You’re the genius, Kokoro. We still have four or so hours. Think of a way out.” She pleads.

The oliveblood stares up at the ceiling, blinking. Slowly, he begins to pace, back and forth, the gears of his mind whirring up again. He walks back and forth for a long time. The few hours they have left stretching out before him in between footsteps. Trying to put it all together. Trying to find his play. He could make it all fit together- somehow, someway. But every chess player knows most victories must come with sacrifices. Try as he might, he can no longer imagine coming away with everything he intended when he started this fight. Fleeting fantasies of convincing Midas of the same thing Gihyun had just convinced him here, enter his mind.

Would he even listen, at this point? And what about the city? Could he truly just leave him here- without warning or explanation. To rule without knowing the weight of such a duty. But he is still embittered by that one final betrayal the purpleblood had placed on his doorstep. Flashes of anger and emotion infecting his train of thought, invisibly and dangerously. He is young. He is prideful. He can’t stand not being the last to speak in an argument, to leave it on the opponents note. He’s trying to be a better man, isn’t he? That’s his prize at the end of it all, that’s the future that carries him forward. Glimmers of it slip through his thoughts but the vision is hazy- he doesn’t yet know this theoretical man of tomorrow. He could not act on his wishes- his vices, before he even discovered him. He can only come down and stare at the gloved, reliable, slippy and treacherous hands of the troll Kokoro Kimura is-

Right now.

So he pieces together one last double cross. The deception inherent in it folding beautifully under his mind's touch. He has it- he has a way everybody ‘wins’. His body stumbles. The shining ideal of a life without carrying a city on his back glittering to him like a mirage. He stops, abruptly and suddenly.

“We have to let him have it,” he says slowly. “He wants Tes Roven- he has to have it” He says, gripping Gi by the shoulders. “And we run and we run and we never look back” he promises.

Five months ago, Sunset watches the sunrise on Alternia through a filtered, grayed and blue tinted haze. The balconies of Rollyn’s mansion had UV roofs that could be lowered. A new architectural trend amongst rich Alternians that can afford it. They came down and clicked into the fence that surrounded the small area when the sun rose. Trace amounts of real sunlight poked through vents at the top of the thing that let in fresh air. They left soft yellow rectangular lines across the room, like sun peeking through a storm, or the leaves of a tree, dappled and gentle. It was good for plants- They had placed a variety of succulents that filled the air with the pleasant scent of greenery.

It was peaceful. Lovely, even. But something was still missing. How could one truly see or understand the beauty of sunrise through thick layers of glass. Washed out by the UV blockers, his impression of the day is blank and soulless, the warmth and fire and richness of color in it trapped just a few feet away. Inside the room, he hears the soft sound of the rustling of stuffed animals, a small pair of slippers being slipped into by a bedside. Footsteps making their way across the floor, as soft and practiced as a dancers.

“Go back to bed,” He says.

“What are you doing?” Rollyn retorts, in the balcony’s doorway, resting a hand on her hip, her other holding close a giant frog plushie. The troll's hair is still held loosely in a bunch of curlers. Her eyes squinty and blinking in the light.

“I can’t sleep,” He says. “But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t either.”

“Come back to bed.” She says.

“There’s no point,” He replies. “I already know I won’t be able to get back to sleep now that I’ve awoken.”

“I have a melatonin,” She offers, walking up next to him, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“They make me groggy,” He says.

“Come take a bath with me, it’ll calm you down.” They try, one more time.

“Rollyn.” He says, simply.

The cerulean pauses, staring into the man's soft eyes, so often clouded over with restraint and pain, as if his face was a sieve he only let some things slip through. The rest caught and kept and looked over in dark corners of painful memories in a careful process of dissection. She pauses, taking his hand.

“I’ll stay up with you.” She says.

“You have work tomorrow,” He replies.

“So do you.” She says.

He sighs, his hand going to his face and rubbing his eyes. He squeezes his other hand in her own.

“What’s wrong?” Rollyn says, resting their head on his shoulder, watching the sun continue to rise.

He thinks on this, still staring forward into the light. When he speaks, he speaks as he always does, in riddles, in half truths, in vague, overarching concepts that most can find no specifics within. He would not give you a piece of his heart without a backdoor of deniability.

“You ever feel like your life is a path that's already set out in front of you,” He says. “That there's no way to sway from. Every turn you try to take loops around and back to here. All roads lead to here. Any choice I ever could have made wouldn’t have changed the person I am now. It’s driven by some greater course that I can’t comprehend. That I am scared to even consider”

“It’s a little early for philosophy,” She says. “Are you talking about g-d?” They pause. “I think you chose to be here Sunset. I don’t think anything is set in stone.”

“Does a bird choose to fly?” He says. “Or is born with a set of wings and the dream of the sky in its pocket.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in fate” She says, lifting her stuffed animal from slipping out of her grip. “You’re the only Rovenian I know who doesn’t toss coins at those little Kokoro shrines.”

“I don’t believe in that kind of fate” He says.

She exhales, laughing. “I didn’t know there were different kinds,” She says. “Does it really matter?”

“Yes,” He says.

“Then what kind of fate do you believe in?” They challenge. “Explain it to me.”

He inhales, resting his head on hers.

“The merciless kind” He says.

“Well” She sighs, watching his eyes deepen, pulled away by the distant horizon. She turns her head up towards his neck. “Kind of takes all the fun out of it, doesn’t it? That’s the saddest way to look at it.”

“Fate was supposed to be fun?” He laughs, lifting his head, caught off guard by her dismissal.

“Yes,” They say, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “It's a prankster. It’s a silly little animal that can’t be caged or caught, like the roadrunner in looney tunes. Dancing around gunshots and delivering karma. The prideful spend a lifetime running after it only to realize they’ve walked right off a cliff. You be careful chasing that thing," she says.

“Or one day you’ll look down and see there's nothing beneath your feet.”

#SIGHSSSDSSSS #do you get it #do you understand #>-)o #my writing #kokoro writing #fantroll #fantroll rp #homestuck #homestuck oc #hiveswap #friendsim #pesterquest

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morimyulyrics · 1 year ago

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OOF this track. It packs quite the punch. Last time we had Fred, and this time we've got Moran. Oh how I love it when the Moriarty group sing about how dedicated they are to William. For Moran's song, it's the way it ends that gets me every time. I want versus I can't, and Izawa Yuuki has this powerful way of showing just how much he wants it, but accepts that he can't.

The steel soldier cries

鋼の戦士は嘆けども | Hagane no senshi wa nagekedomo Character: Sebastian Moran

Kanji ウィリアム俺は　お前を救いたい誰よりも　誰よりもでもお前は　それを望まない猛った覚悟は　空を切る：たけ

この拳は　ただの鉄屑お前を苦しみから　守れない鋼の戦士は　嘆けどもお前の心を　抱けない

ウィリアム　俺はお前の英雄（ヒーロー）に　なりたかったけれどお前の　瞳は遠い彼方だけを　見つめてる

ウィリアム　俺はお前に命捧げ朽ち果てても　良いんだけれどお前の　その胸に俺のこの手は　届かない

俺は　お前を　救いたい俺は　お前を　救えないけれど…

Romaji William ore wa omae wo sukuitai Dare yori mo Dare yori mo Demo omae wa sore wo nozomanai Teketta kakugo wa sora wo kiru

Kono kobushi wa tada no tetsukizu Omae wo kurushimi kara mamorenai Hagane no senshi wa nagekedomo Omae no kokoro wo idakenai

William ore wa omae no Hiiroo ni naritakatta Keredo omae no hitomi wa Tooi kanata dake wo mitumeteru

William ore wa omae ni Inochi sasage kuchi hatetemo iinda Keredo omae no sono mune ni Ore no kono te wa todokanai

Ore wa omae wo sukuitai Ore wa omae wo sukuenai Keredo…

English William, I want to save you More than anyone, more than anyone But I know you don’t want that Your determination can slice the skies above

This fist of mine is but scrap metal for it cannot even protect you from pain Even if I, a steel-cold warrior, cries out to you I cannot hold your heart

William, I wanted to be your hero so badly But your eyes were always fixated on the horizon beyond

William, I would gladly offer you my soul and let it rot But my hand cannot reach your heart

I want to save you But… I can’t save you

#morimyu #yuumori #yuukoku no moriarty #op5lyrics #op5.

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koishi-komeij-takes-a-vaction · 1 year ago

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KKTAV episode 23: Scarlet Retributions

The sun shone brightly over the Former Hell of Blazing Fires, despite it being underground and Utsuho Reiuji slacking on her reactor duties.

Koishi Komeiji was practising her Dessert Eagle Sharpshooter skills in the Chireiden firing range when Spongey Duncton came in with tears of weeping.

''What is meaning of this rackettous noise, Spongey Duncton!?'' Roared Koishi Komeiji with indignation.

''It is terrible, Koishi Komeiji the Scarlet Devil Mansion have published mocking words towards Chireiden.'' Said Spongey Duncton with molely honks as they handed over a newspaper.

Koishi Komeiji's two eyes widened with the fury of a million dying stars. Her third eye did not open, as it is still closed.

The newspaper headline bore savage words, ''CHIREIDEN IS IMPOVERISHED HOVEL''.

It was written by Remillia Scarlet, with words of mocking.

''We of Scarlet Devil Mansion declare ourselves the greatest faction of Gensokyo lands, better than the underground pigs of the Komeijis. My charismatic fate weaving is far stronger than Koishi Komeiji' subconscious manipulations.'' Said the paper but in written words.

''DEFAMATION!'' Hollered Koishi Komeiji with pure furies.

''Koishi Komeiji, what is all of this racket?'' Said Satori Komeiji with mumbling.

''We have been cruelly insulted by the Scarlet Devil Mansion in the newspapers!'' Said Koishi Komeiji with rages.

''It is merely the fate of our cursed Komeiji bloodline to be ridiculed by all but wild beasts, sister. We must move forewards with heads held high despite these indignities.'' Said Satori Komeiji with wisdom and resignedness.

''Sister, you may accept the hardships of our species, but I shall not stand for this! I will storm the Scarlet Devil Mansion and battle for the honor of Chireiden!'' Said Koishi Komeiji with determination.

''At least stay for dinner. I have cooked a meal of boiled roots and cotton balls.'' Said Satori Komeiji with Britishness.

''I cannot wait for one second. The longer we leave Remillia Scarlet, the stronger she becomes.'' Said Koishi Komeiji with hungry seriousness.

Koishi Komeiji went to Chireiden armoury to lock and load. She grabbed her best knife, a few spell cards, and a cool rock. Utsuho Reiuji walked in slowly with her concrete foot.

''The path of a hero is lonely and harsh, baby Koishi. Are you sure you are ready for this mission?'' Rumbled Utsuho Reiuji with badassness.

''As sure as cancer is serious'' Said Koishi Komeiji with wit.

''I understood that reference'' Said Utsuho Reiuji with music appreciation.

Koishi Komeiji swaggered to her 2005 Honda Civic with no roof and badass burning rose decals. She lit a Garfield branded lasagne cigar to honour her greatest hero.

''Will you be going alone?'' Said Satori Komeiji with sisterly concerns.

''Yes. Utsuho Reiuji and Rin Kaenbyou can hold the fort while I am gone and you are too much of a sad pudding to handle combat.'' Said Koishi Komeiji finishing her sentence with a salute.

Koishi Komeiji and Spongey Duncton cruised through the human village blasting tunes with blistering hot metal riffs.

''Haha there goes bastard baby Komeij'' Said Hata No Kokoro with much mockings.

''I will strike you down once I wipe Remillia Scarlet off the map!'' Roared Koishi Komeiji with romantically confused rage.

Spongey Duncton who was driving turned the Honda Civit to run over Hata No Kokoro. Koishi Komeiji could not drive.

''Uh oh, now we are the hot dog'' Said Hata No Kokoro with miseries.

The Scarlet Devil Mansion loomed over the Misty Lake like a dog over a food bowl. Hong Meiling stood at the gate with sleepiness. Spongey Duncton parked the car on a rock.

''Out of the way, gatekeeper. I am here to dish up justice to your dark overlord Remillia Scarlet.'' Said Koishi Komeiji with seriousness.

''But Remillia Scarlet went missing yesterday morning.'' Said Hong Meilling with much confusion.

''Lies! How could she write this slander in the newspaper!'' Roared Koishi Komeiji with rage.

''But Remillia can't write these words, she has only passed fourth grade and can only read Ulyssus.'' said Hong Meiling with confusion.

''Liar! Embers of Love!'' Yelled Koishi Komeiji, unleasing her powerful spell card.

''Owwwwwwwww...'' said Hong Meiling with pain as she exploded into P-Blocks.

As Koishi Komeiji stormed Scarlet Devil Manor shooting maid fairys with her Dessert Eagle, a shadow emerged from the shadows. It was... the asthmatic magician woman!

''wheeze'' wheezed asthma woman with mercurry poisoning.

''I see...'' Said Koishi Komeiji with understanding.

Koishi Komeiji went to the stairs to the throne room. The stairs were unpleasantly tall but Koishi Komeiji could float at ten mph.

After a few hours of floating at top speeds, Koishi Komeiji reached the Scarlet Devil trone room.

''Show yourself, miscreant!'' Roared Koishi Komeiji with holy rage.

The true mastermind emerged. It was... Aya Shamiemaru!

''Oh hey you took awhile to get here, I've been here for days.'' Said Aya Shameimaru with vicious mocking.

''How could you do this to the Esteemed House of Komeiji!? Dragging our names in the mud like farm equiptment!?'' Roared Koishi Komeiji with indignations.

''idk someone paid me to do it and it sounded fun'' Said Aya Shyamemaru with evil.

''...Alright, but why frame Remillia Scarlet? This is all very convoluted, like a terrible fanfiction written in tribute to other terrible fanfiction'' Said Koishi Komeiji with inquiries.

''I don't actually know, they were a mole and I don't speak mole.'' Said Aya Shamiemamruma with tenguly spite.

''Oh alright then, have fun with whatever you are doing.'' Said Koishu Komeiji with thoughts as she emptied a full clip of her dessert eagle in the wall so her sharpshooting practise would'nt go to waste.

''Aight, have a good one'' Said Aya Syameimara with camera clicks.

The drive back to Chireiden was uneventful but fraught with doubts. Koishi Komeiji lit up a lasange cigar as Stan Bush's hit song 'You Got The Touch' blasts on the Honda Civic radio.

''I think someone inside the Chireiden has betrayed us'' Said Koishi Komeii with deductions.

''What will you do about it?'' Said Spongey Duncton with mole noises as they hit Hata No Kokoro with the Honda Civic again.

''Get my retribution... A Scarlet Reribution...'' Said Koishi Komeiji with cool badassery.

The end..?

#koishi #satori #okuu #kokoro #spongey duncton the mole #fanfiction #touhou #april 2024 #long post

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hanja-mikii · 24 days ago

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compiling a massive list of every single oc pairing I have currently just to have it all in one place and I can look back on it *just* for times like this

so you can like, ignore it or something

Minecraft:

Hanja/Nox - Semi-canon, I leave implications of it in but they’re pretty open ended story wise. (Note: Minecraft Hanja not me Hanja.)

Asphoria/Cypherix - Semi-canon, leave it up to people whether they want them to remain friends or move onto something further.

Hanja/Rakka - Purely a crackship but I like it so.

Hanza/Mirage - The tension between these two assholes is crazy. Mirage is a 2B2T survivor and veteran and Hanza is just feel pirate lady. Lmao.

Pokemon:

*exclusive to my project, Brain and Brawn.

Brain/Brendan - Not really elaborating because it takes too much explaining but yeah.

Brawn/Gladion - I hold onto this more for nostalgia, it isn’t really possible until Brawn overcomes her depression near the end of the story anyways. But sure it can stay in.

Elemental Guard:

Roo/Hia - Normally I wouldn’t touch servant/master with a 50 foot pole but they feel way less like that trope than they normally would be thought to. And I guess if we go by their race hierarchy in universe even if he’s the crowned prince she technically outranks him (shadow troll) by being an earth troll.

Malco/Crystos - Yay, our second 100% canon pair after Roo and Hia. Not much to say about it, they are very much lovebirds.

Miitopia:

Viola/Janson - I love them so much,, , when I try to talk about them there’s so much that it bottlenecks and makes me want to explode. All I can say, if the Skyscraper isn’t proof enough that MC/EDL is literally canon idk what is. Oh maybe New Lumos. I just love them okay.

Hilda/Sylvia - THE OG LESBIAN DUO I LOVE THEEEMMMM AAAAAAAA someone said they’ve yet to see a lesbian ship where one of them isn’t a cop and I feel so bad because Hilda’s the chief of police lmao—

Pamela/Jeffrey - They’re for when I feel like indulging in very very cutesy concepts. Jeffrey is the definition of loving you even when you’re a worm (because Pamela used to be a cat).

Odina/Viola - One sided. Odina in canon loves Viola but she’s already married to Jan so-

Not listing NPC pairs because there’s way too many like Norma/Ein, Sherri/Tycho, etc…

Bakugan:

Blank/Dan - Dan is so sweet what the fuck, I cannot believe he’s had all these potential gfs and he chose none of them 😭 So he’s choosing Blank but it’s bittersweet because he still fucks off on that boat and leaves her behind so

Ienera/Gunz - They’re so fucking silly but I feel bad for Ienera because her bf appears for like one episode then becomes a victim of identity theft for the entire season 😭😭😭

Bakugan Battle Planet:

Dan/Blank - Fuckers, you thought I wouldn’t make reboot Blank be with reboot Dan for real this time?

Beyblade Burst:

Aiko/Silas - comfort ship fr, Silas is a huge comfort character of mine and I gave him SO much lore. Also Aiko really needs him to put her in her place because he’s the only one in BC Sol willing to talk back to her ehwjsudhs

Mahiru/Valt - They’re so sweet what the fuck 😭😭 like it’s literally the star athlete + his cheerleader aaaaaAAAAA—

Akila/Ranmaru - Pair with my friend Saber’s OC Ranmaru, I need to do more with them I love them rrraaahhhhh feral lesbians my beloveds.

Okelani/Arthur - Dumbass adults who keep getting their shit handed to them by 10 year olds half their age and size. They’re for more realistic depictions of adult couples in a highly cartoonized and minor centric universe. They do taxes and plan where to use their first time home buyers discount.

Alessia/Gwyn - Ah yes, the neurotypical and her highly autistic gf. Really only works out in the context of Gwyn being a girl idk why but I only accept Alessia being a girl kisser.

JJBA:

Kokoro/Josuke - … I’m taking this shit to the grave I’ll never elaborate on this. I spent the entire semester of robotics class building the robot while my friend did the coding and we watched Part 4 together on his laptop and I had the fattest fucking crush on Josuke back then so don’t ask me about this.

Mashle:

Abyssa/Finn - Holy fuck I just really like Finn okay. He’s so smol… and I know he’s offput by scary people but Abyssa’s a lil different, yknow? Like she’s the Sunshine Protector protecting her Sunshine.

Neru/Margaret - FUCKING LOOK AT MARGARET OKAY. LOOK AT THEM. DOT IS FUCKING BLIND IF HES RANKING THEM THAT LOW IN LOOKS JUST BECAUSE THEYRE NONBINARY. FUCK YOU DOT. IF MARGARET HAS NO FANS ITS BECAUSE IM DEAD. I WILL GIVE THEM THE BIGGEST SMECK ON THE FOREHEAD. I EVEN DID MARGARETS MAKEUP AND MARKINGS IRL. THATS HOW DEDICATED TO THIS PERSON I AM. okay so like im normal about them i swear.

Genshin Impact:

Raphael/Navia - Very, very new pair. But I’ve had a minor crush on Navia for a very long time I just couldn’t bring together good enough ideas for a gf. Then my MVP bestie Saber helped me and now Raphael exists. Raph WORSHIPS the very ground Navia steps on. Get yourself a woman who treats you like her Morticia.

Diwen/Zhongli - Tragic. Diwen loves Zhongli and has since forever. But because she thought he was with Guizhong and she respected Guizhong a lot more than she loved Zhongli, she kept her feelings to herself. Even in current day now that Guizhong is long dead, she doesn’t dare try and make a move on Zhongli out of pure respect, so she holds it in even more. Tragic tragic. Anyways they’re Hu Taos grandparents now.

___/Tighnari - I’ve had a Tighnari ship for the longest time, he’s such a refreshing character to have no trauma, both parents alive and well, a job he loves and does well, actual schooling, and is relatable as fuck. But the oc I had with him is currently under construction for the third time so.

Goddess Kiss OVE:

Calluna/Tirza - I know this game was meant for cishet dudes who don’t leave their basement but come on Tirza’s a canon lesbian she even hates men.

Mario:

Plumosa/Wario - Okay you guys can bring out the pitchforks. I personally view them as very platonic. Like they willingly choose to have each other in their lives. They feel incomplete without the other and it’s from nothing but the purest of friendships. And they’re gym rats together so yeah.

Lily/Waluigi - These mfs are so popular, I didn’t think they would be but they are. Anyways Waluigi is hot as fuck and I don’t trust you if you think otherwise.

Otoca D’or:

Mochi/Yomi - just a cute little funsies ship.

Sonic:

Roxanne/Knuckles - I’m so tired I don’t want to elaborate on this but it comes from my concept of another Sonic game that features two whole ass new islands and the gang goes on vacation to one of them but then an ancient god and shit wakes up and they need to save the day. So yeah. Also they’re a thing in Boom too, fucking dumbasses.

Roxanne/Tyresa - Canon in abbs.with.abs’s Gaia Infection AU, Knuckles dies, Roxanne gets stranded with Tyresa and then they find comfort in each other instead. Otherwise not really, I might play around with it but I like Knuckles a lil too much to commit.

Stardew Valley:

Kasumi/Sam - What can I say? I like the manchild who causes property damage and jams out. Ambitious king with no motivation. Love it.

Yandere Simulator:

Nodoka/Geiju - The painter and his favorite thing to paint. Artsy duo fr.

How to Train Your Dragon:

Brutalia/Snotlout - Brutalia’s only present in Race to the Edge, idk what happens to her in canon mainline movies but she defo ain’t around after that.

DuckTales:

Carrie/Dewey - I can’t remember why this is a thing but my DuckTales phases lasted like a week.

Carrie/Webby - crackship, in an alternate universe I can totally imagine Carrie getting a mild crush on Webby so-

Tokyo Revengers:

Toruko(Diva)/Shuji - They’re really fun to think about and the more I add to it the cuter it lowkey gets even if they’re both apathetic psychos. Truly made in heaven.

Yotsuba(Orange Caramel)/Chifuyu - My god they’re cute… I’ll elaborate when I do more Yotsuba stuff. Yotsuba has fr said “hmm… I really do like the sound of Matsuno Yotsuba though…”

Cookie Run:

Dusty Miller Cookie/Bellflower Cookie - I’m so fucking gay for Bellflower you don’t even get it. And I know she’s a cookie. But she’s a cute fucking cookie damnit.

Hunter x Hunter:

Koruso/Feitan - Short king obsessed with his tall as fuck gf. Love it. Not a normal relationship at all but it works for them.

Highschool of the Dead:

Nozaka/Kohta - This phase lasted like 1 week but still. Comforting.

Epithet Erased:

___/Zora - It was over when it was said she likes hourglass figures and was bi lmao. The character I put her with has been unnamed for years though, even if her Epithet was finalized already.

BNHA:

Sensu/Tenya - Again will never publicly talk about this because the fandom is terrible. But I still kinda like Tenya as a character he’s okay.

Shugo Chara:

Brie/Kairi - I can’t accept him and Yaya I’m sorry. She’s a literal baby. Isn’t it kind of weird to be with someone who dreams of being a literal baby? Anyways office queen Brie and samurai king Kairi are superb. (And not lowkey illegal).

#long ass fucking post

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dostoevskysno1fan · 1 year ago

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“Now, I myself am about to cut open my own heart, and drench your face with my blood. And I shall be satisfied if, when my heart stops beating, a new life lodges itself in your breast.” ― Sōseki Natsume, Kokoro

A truly beautiful read. A book which translates the icy feeling of lonliness into words on a canvas. A book that explores love, regret and remorse. How guilt at first is non-existent; enjoying the fruits of what you earnt, until what remains of you is a souless shell.

Whilst also exploring the inevitable transition of youth to maturity, Kokoro also touches upon the blend between tradition and modernitiy - set in a time of the Meiji period (1868-1912). This was a historical period that is especially significant in Japan's history which ebbed away from the spiritual Edo period that the elder society seemed to desperately cling onto in spirit, contrasted with the fresh outlook that had begun to spead amoung the youth.

What makes this book so special to me, is not the rich flavourful themes which are of course woven beautifully in this novel, but the more simplest topic of friendship. How Sensei; who is one of the main characters in the story - without a name yet the majority of the book is dedicated towards him. Him and the old friendship between the man that he had betrayed, and the remorse that haunted him leading him to his own demise and death. How we can never truly run away from memories or actions we did out of our own conscious and subconscious thinking. Of course; considering this, one must agree with this point and state that therefore, we must live our lives weighing the advantages and disadvantages of each major decison to avoid the pangs of 'what could'. But will you truly be living? Would your heart truly be free? Yet will it resemble another cage that if society has not placed, then you yourself have done with your own hands?

Truly since reading this novel. it makes me wonder. How many of those around me including myself would sacrifice friendship for our personal gain? Love, wealth, and beauty are what inspires us and keeps the human heart alive, but for the price of blood would it taste as sweet? As much as I would be curious to find the answer, I think in this instance im better off not knowing..

“I am a lonely man," he said again that evening. "And is it not possible that you are also a lonely person? But I am an older man, and I can live with my loneliness, quietly. You are young, and it must be difficult to accept your loneliness. You must sometimes want to fight it." "But I am not at all lonely." "Youth is the loneliest time of all. Otherwise, why should you come so often to my house?" Sensei continued: "But surely, when you are with me, you cannot rid yourself of your loneliness. I have not it in me to help you forget it. You will have to look elsewhere for the consolation you seek. And soon, you will find that you no longer want to visit me." As he said this, Sensei smiled sadly.”

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flameblessed · 2 years ago

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OKAY BUT TOPAZ. Here have a letter for ur birthday bc I love u and treasure u a lot klajslkgj I am so late I’m sorry but I really wanted to put brain into this and I had absolutely no brain otherwise LKJASKLGJ

BUT LISTEN im so glad I met u. frick when did we meet. Last year?? Has it been a year omg. Almost a year I think!! But man I’m really thankful to have you as a friend and in my life ;w ; hearing about your experiences and knowing that you’re still pushing through despite all the bullshit in ur life just shows how amazingly strong you are and how much you persevered and I really do admire you for that! You try to constantly improve yourself and are very honest about how you feel, which is just so refreshing and awesome to see!!

You’re also so fun to play games with and just chill with on vc too >w> I hope we manage to hang out again sometime!! Because I always appreciate people who are genuinely just chilling and are out to have a good time and honestly the way you roast people sometimes is so funny KLJASLKJG and the jokes you crack are pretty awesome, and I really treasure those moments too since it means you’re enjoying yourself and you’re happy, as you deserve!!

And gosh do I talk about your writing. I know I’ve said it again and again but I really do admire your writing T__T I feel like our writing styles synch so well and im always so invested and reread your replies to me because they’re so well thought out and so in-depth that it touches me kokoro. You have a very beautiful writing style and it’s only going to get more amazing from there!!

I also love your character creation?? Like. Obviously I love Roi and all the OCs you have told me about but GOSH do you make it all so GOOD and realistic!! Its so refreshing and really inspiring to see. Its hard to explain, but you have a way of writing that touches every character you write deeply and its so clear how much you think about your characters and interpret them, and how they develop throughout the story. Like I really do love Roi’s development from HW to EW… it’s so fucking beautiful okay I love him T__T

And not to mention ur canon characters like hello!! I remember specifically one time I was admiring your writing and you were writing a thancred reply – and like. Believe me when I say I was so impressed! Idk how to describe it. It really felt like a realistic portrayal – you did mention some headcanons that differed but felt so true to him and that shined through in your writing. AGAIN IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT BUT ITS AN AMAZING SKILL YOU HAVE OKAY.

AND ALSO. Well. You know how much I love our babygirls KJAKLSGj and the toxic shit we come up with :pensive: I love dark stuff and I love that we’re able to discuss that freely and just be chill about it lkjaslkgj anD WRITE IT TO VERY POG LENGTHS AND GETTING INTO THE NITTY GRITTY WILD SHIT. Its great. Thank u for being such a fun rp partner too kljasklgj AND FOR BEING SO OPEN TO SHIPPING DIFF CHARACTERS TOO I really do appreciate it and I can only hope you’re enjoying yourself with your new characters as well!! ;w ;

BUT ANYWAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR YESTERDAY THANKS FOR BEING MY FRIEND AND FOR BEING AN AMAZING ROLEPLAYING PARTNER AND BEING A FANTASTIC WRITER AND PLOTTER AND ALL AKLJSGKLj I also appreciate you reaching out as well and asking if im okay if you notice ajksljg that’s honestly so sweet and you’re honestly one of the kindest people I know ;; you have such a great heart despite all the pain you’ve been through and I know you’re going to continue being your amazing self ;w ;

ALSO THANKS FOR OUTING URSELF AS A WORDS OF AFFIRMATION PERSON I FUCKING KNEW IT GDSKSL:DHL:SDKH OKAY BYEEEEEEE back to bullying you LKAJSGLKj

// So I have been staring at this all day. Just rotating it in my mind. Thinking about getting it framed in my house.

This means so much to me because like... I can never actually accept that people actually like me or enjoy my company. I just cannot wrap my head around it. So like... This is genuinely so nice. Thank you so much for being my friend.

It has been around a year since we met. I am SO HAPPY that we started interacting and stuff. My life is better for having you in it. Thank you so much.

#✶ — › 𝗠𝗘𝗧𝗔 — ⌜ out of character.⌟#swerte

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divinyoun · 6 years ago

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i love how dongmin was hesitating and then just calmly peck bin while bin was nervously waiting for it

source: haveBin_withWoo

#binu #binwoo #moonbin #dongmin #eunwoo #my kokoro cannot accept this #look at bin #he's so happy #i bet dongmin hesitated just to tease bin #asdfghjkl

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bakatenshii · 5 years ago

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i ship u and miki

pls I canny accept this, I am lawfully happily loyally married to @blahkugo nd miki is lin and I’s adopted chaos child.. pwwease

daily i lov my sunkist delight post even if im on mini hiatus !!1!1!!1

#NO IM SORRY NONNIE #THIS IS WHERE UR WRONG #I LOVE U ALL #BUT THIS ONE #NO BUENO #SUMIMASEN #I WUV SUNNT W ALL MY KOKORO #MY WIFE #🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#I CANNOT ACCEPT THIS #urusai! baka #i kno i write incest but this is not my brand of incest #|д꒪ͧ)…

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h3l10tr0p3 · 5 years ago

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MANGA CH. 284 SPOILERS

OF REDEMPTIONS AND ATONEMENTS:

We all been knew, man. We all knew this was coming.

And godDAMN does it fucking HURT. (oh the sweet sweet angstfest this whole chapter is, just *chef's kiss*)

But i legit cannot put into words how deep the choice to 'Atone' cuts on my bleeding bkdk heart. Let's first take a step back and see how Katsuki went from DvK2 to here- that one keystone moment that has given us this beautiful chapter: And I meant ALLLL the way back to Chap. 252

I have already written a whole-ass post based on this panel, which you can check Here.

TL;DR Katsuki was actually paying real close attention to Endeavour in this part. He came to Endeavour to learn exactly what he was missing as a Hero, but he learnt so much more.

This scene in particular left a momentous impact on Kacchan. Here, Natsuo is resistant to the idea of forgiving his father for all his sins just because he is more involved in their lives now. And Endeavour had been dreaming for a while about a Home where he is not present with the rest of the Todoroki's which ultimately gave him the idea of buying a house for the others to live in apart from him. This is HUGE. This is what actually drove Endeavour's Redemption home- the perfect understanding and the perfect compensation, the two elements of a brilliant Redemption Arc. NOT THE FORGIVENESS, just as Enji says it. It is NEVER ABOUT THE FORGIVENESS.

Endeavour understood that it was his presence that caused his family distress, and although he dearly wanted to be a part of his family again, was even making efforts towards it by being cordial and accepting of Shouto's friends, inviting them to a family dinner, etc. etc. Endeavour realized the only way he can compensate/atone was to give up something that would cause him suffering, and them happiness. The idea that your family doesnt want you, when you just started to show some effort and HOPE that they might see you in different light, maybe forgive you and then to just terminate those ties entirely, punting yourself into a void where NO ONE CAN COME IN AND SAVE YOU FROM YOUR SUFFERING, is exactly what Endeavour did. He is actively shutting down the ONE window through which his family could see that he was suffering, and miserable, and wanted to be a part of the family again. Endeavour CHOSE to not be forgiven. To writhe with the knowledge of his sins day in and day out with only the shrine of Dabi Touya to haunt him every waking minute.

I cannot explain just how much determination it takes to do that, man. It's just- WOW.

Excuse me for ranting on Endeavour in a bkdk post, but I swear this has a point. And All Might says this the best:

This is the fanlation, the official release (which I couldnt get my hands on) also mentions that "When I meant you were like Endeavour, I meant the Change"

This here is an important bit that AM has caught onto.

In the 252 panel, where Endeavour says 'It's not like I want forgiveness' (Because Endeavour understands he cannot be, should not be, forgiven) "I just want to make up for everything I have done" (and to back this up, Endeavour shuts down the one communication link that could have offered him forgiveness, and thus salvation from the weight of his sins and his guilt)

Katsuki understood Endeavour's idea of redemption very well here, although he might not be shown with that light-bulb moment. He may have already known this wayyy before Endeavour said anything, but those words lent a solidity and to the path he must persue to acheive redemption: And it's Not forgiveness.

Let me tell you why I think Atonement is the greater factor here, even greater than Redemption itself. Redemption has an end-point: Forgiveness. But Atonement doesn't. Atonement has no expiry date. Atonement is purely propelled by the understanding of self, and the weight of guilt the self bears, whereas a Redemption is All About The Forgiveness.

Forgiveness is an external force, it may or may not be given to you and that is completely up to the person who has been wronged. Atonement is self-imposed, it is a meditation of the soul to forgive itself against the guilt it carries.

If Redemption is a marathon with a banner at the finish line, Atonement is trying to drag a twenty pounds of rocks through the Sahara desert without water, food or a compass- it's endless, hopeless.

And this is why Atonement is greater than Redemption.

And do you think someone as stubborn as Kastuki will ever find himself atoned of his deeds? No. And That, my friends, is The Point. In 252, when Endeavour says, "I dont want forgiveness" it's not just him saying it- it's also Katsuki. "I just want to make it upto you", is also Katsuki.

And to prove it, Katsuki will never ask for forgiveness. A verbal apology will be nice, sure. Especially since dumb-ass, gay-ass, 'Kacchan-sugoi' ass Izuku Doesn't even See it as Atonement. He is just #Blessed that Kacchan and he can talk almost-naturally again. And that is also Katsuki's intention- because the moment Izuku knows, he won't be able to atone this way anymore.

So, as much as I HATE to say this, the chances of a voluntary verbal apology are slim. If allowed to go on like this, Kacchan with continue to shadow Izuku through his life, worrying about him, LOSING SLEEP OVER HIM :

LOOK AT THOSE BAGS UNDER HIS EYES. /*shoves panels in yo face*/LOOK

Can you believe this bitch-ass gremlin who goes to sleep at 8:30 got bags just from stressing over his Deku??????

LOOK AT HIM DOING A HECCIN' MAJOR KOKORO-STOPPING CONCERN.

(He is flipping his shit because he worries, and he worries so much, and has worried for him for a long LONG time.)

- Katsuki will continue on this path of being Izuku's support.

Forever if it takes.

Forever, he hopes, it takes-

Because the only way he will stop is in death, either his own or Deku's.

This is his Atonement: To undo everything he once did, to support Izuku's dream instead of squashing it; To help him get stronger instead of perpetuating the narrative on his weakness; To protect him from all harm, when he once hurt; To be on his side when the whole world is against him, because once he was all, but, for him; To save Izuku as he wins, to win as he saves.

And, To deny each oppurtunity of forgiveness even as he desperately longs to be unburdened of his guilt.

Because Katsuki knows:

He knows Izuku is that one of a million, he is kind and humble and considerate and loving to a fault.

Katsuki knows that Izuku will forgive him in a heartbeat. That is just the kind of selfless, beautiful person he is.

Unlike Endeavour, who had no guarantee to forgiveness, Katsuki does. And that is what makes Katsuki's Atonement more powerful than Endeavour's. He recognizes it is in his grasp, just an arm's length away...

....Just an arm's length.

And Katsuki will deny himself that. Because he does not believe he deserves it. He hasn't atoned enough for it.

"Keep At Arm's Length"

He says. Because this is the critical distance between them. Not "Stay an arm's length away", because Katsuki doesn't wanna run away from Deku, and he doesn't want to be too far away to protect him, nor does he want to get too close to finally recieve the forgiveness that will give him salvation.

This is the fine balancing act Katsuki must maintain indefintely till he believes he has acheived his idea of atonement. (And when has he ever been happy just the bare minimum?)

I know I said Katsuki will never ask for forgiveness, and a voluntary verbal apology is very unlikely, because in it's very nature, it is inviting a forgiveness from Izuku, which we have established, Katsuki wants to avoid. And if this were any other manga, we would have been doomed to this conclusion. But, there is a scenario when Katsuki might issue a verbal apology and that is when Katsuki knows there isn't enough time to be forgiven in turn, or, hasn't atoned enough and can no longer continue to.

Like when Katsuki launches off, to deliver a final kamikaze blow to a villain, and he has only enough time to tell Deku a short "I am sorry", but not enough time to wait for a reply. Or when Deku is dying and at his final moments, when Katsuki knows however much he has atoned isn't enough and isn't how Deku should leave, without closure.

Whatever the future may hold, my dear readers, Katsuki still has a long, long way to go. And I hope to see him live through everything, to be there -

To survive these wars with Deku, To fight alongside him, To protect him. To win. To save.

To Live.

To hear Deku say "I had forgiven you a long time ago";

and ofcourse,

To forgive himself.

#bakudeku #katsudeku #katsuki x izuku #bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugou #midoriya izuku #deku midoriya #bnha midoriya #deku #kacchan #endeavour #allmight #bnha spoilers #bnha manga #mha spoilers #bnha 284

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pukanavis · 3 years ago

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Karakuri Shinshi Introduction Story - Part 5

Nobel: Phase 4. A modification has been made to the initial plan.

Contact has been made with “them”. While there was minimal interference, I engaged in deep conversation against my better judgement.

“Against my judgement” ? I’m somewhat surprised that I’d do such an impulsive thing.

♡　♡　♡

Ruma: Ahh, what a lovely show. Watching a performance in person is certainly different.

Nobel: The outcome aside, it was a rather pleasing experience.

Besides, that was the first time I’ve had the chance to speak with that human named Alto…they seem to be quite promising.

Einsatz: ! …

Ruma: Oh? What’s the matter, Ein. Do you have something on your mind?

Nobel: Have you been thinking about Alto?

Einsatz: …I am still trying to process the disrespect that Alto-san displayed towards the two of you.

I understand that Master Noble was able to forgive it but…I find it to be inexcusable.

Nobel: That’s it? I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you. Didn’t I say their opinion was only natural?

Einsatz: I am trying to understand however…I cannot accept it. Is this some sort of malfunction…?

Ruma: Hmm. Are you…feeling a murky feeling in your chest?

Einsatz: Murky…feeling…?

Ruma: Hahaha. I suppose I wasn’t clear enough? However, there are times when we have feelings that are only able to be described in such a way.

Ein, might you be feeling “anger” towards them?

Einsatz: –”Anger”...me…?

Nobel: Your “kokoro” is still highly undeveloped. You must be perplexed by the emotions that arise within you.

They’re by no means a bad thing. You don’t have to try and process all your emotions. The fact that you feel them is enough.

Einsatz: …Please forgive me. It doesn’t quite make sense to me yet.

Ruma: That’s fine. That’s just the way “emotions” are.

Although, it’s unusual to see you making such an expression, Ein.

Nobel: Perhaps this is an effect of coming into contact with KNoCC.

Ruma: Speaking of “unusual”, weren’t you being much more talkative than you usually are?

Nobel: Ah…was I really?

Ruma: You were. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you talk that much about something other than research. And on your first time meeting them too…

Could it be that even you get that excited in the presence of your “oshi” ?

Nobel: Don’t poke fun at me. I simply couldn’t ignore them.

Ruma: Ignore them…? Why is that?

Nobel: …I’m not sure. Even I’m not able to explain it well.

Ruma: —Really? Then I suppose it cannot be helped.

Well, please talk about it when you wish to. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s alright as well.

Einsatz: Master Nobel. Whatever it is that you may think, I, Einsatz, have no objection to.

No matter what, I’ll serve you to the best of my abilities.

Nobel: …Thank you. I truly do have some great friends.

Now then, gentlemen. Whether for the better or for the worse, the situation has moved ahead. We’ll soon be encountering even bigger ups and downs.

We’ll do what we must. I hope that you’ll lend me your strength.

Ruma: Of course!

Einsatz: It would be my pleasure to assist you.

♡　♡　♡

Nobel: Phase 5. We have strayed far from the original hypothesis and have ventured into unknown waters.

With the unexpected variables thrown into the mix, an even more profound ensemble has been born from the improvisation.

The melody that will come to light…even I’m not sure of.

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sassooda · 4 years ago

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Worlds Away JJK AU / Chapter 36 - No Longer Alone 🔞

w/c - 7,680

“Kokoro really was a fool…I almost feel sorry.” Genghis is in the mood to celebrate as he quietly snickers through the Titer compound, planning to share the news with Getou. He passes through a crowded windowless but well-lit room heading towards the southern bunker. Nearly all of the clansmen and women bow to his presence as he cheerfully ambulates through their earthy corridors, submitting their trust into him. He enjoys the gestured acclaim, knowing full well this position being his was long overdue. After searching over the room joyfully, he becomes momentarily sidetracked as his first turbulent encounter ensues. The young Titer that served Mugoi before appears in front of him, blocking Genghis’s direct path. ‘Now to reform these loose ends…’, he thinks to himself as he assesses the young Titer’s despair. “You there, what is your name?” Genghis sees the hatred in the young man’s face.

“…Itgeltei.”, is all the young man offers while still trying to remain fearless in front of the now most masterful man of the clan. “Itgeltei Baidal.”. His chin-length black hair waves with the wind as his deep brown eyes feign revenge.

Genghis smirks to the spiteful response, understanding that the poor wretch has lost his own mentor and is raging with emotions. “You can come with me now, there is still much work to be done.” He motions for the young Titer to follow him but the single energized stomp in response makes him halt his resumed stance.

“YOU KILLED MASTER KOKORO!” Baidal surges his energy and aims it at Genghis with tear filled eyes. “…and my SISTER!” His shaking limbs continue to quake as he takes a deep breath and prepares to at least injure the newly appointed head before being killed himself. “You have to pa-…”.

Genghis, without lifting a finger, uses his presence to immediately suffocate the young man who is now clear with regret. “I certainly did not kill Mugoi or Okhin, that was the enemy.” The fear pricks its way to the surface as the young Titer now seems to recognize exactly how unmatched he is and this entertains Genghis, “See, I never inherited the ancient techniques but I’m the top dog now for a reason…”, Genghis slowly approaches while Baidal chokes, surely feeling compressed as he opens his mouth to breathe but is unable to suction in any air. “…I have learned other ways to instill my goals.”. After reaching the young Titer, he looks around to all of the surveyors that stand winded with horror. “YOU ALL UNDERSTAND WHO IS IN CHARGE NOW, RIGHT?!”. Genghis darts his eyes back to Baidal who’s face has since turned red and puffed from the lack of oxygen while he continues to struggle. A woman near the door cries, “Yes! We do Master Genghis!”, and all of the Titers before him that are able, drop to the floor to offer an extensive bow. “Alright then!”, Genghis releases the young Titer with a smile and watches him crash to his knees, gasping. Genghis kneels down before him and holds out a hand, “If you’re willing to redirect your hatred to the right place, you can still serve your clan to the upmost, Baidal.”, but he’s met with still resentful eyes and understands that the young man will need time to decide his own fate as his hand is swatted away. “If you cannot however, you serve no purpose at all. Consider my offer.”. Genghis then turns to continue walking to Getou before the young man did something hasty, not wanting a scene to erupt with so many witnesses.

After Genghis leaves that corridor, Baidal hunts the room for any indication that he had supporters on the matter but feels completely alone as everyone looks down or simply continues with their business. ‘He may be powerful but he needs to be stopped.’, Baidal’s frustration peaks as he’s still trying to regain his breath, knowing that Genghis could have crushed him if he wanted to. Beneath his heaving he mutters the words that would have caused him death had they been heard, “He was supposed to stay locked away.”. Only by being Kokoro’s understudy did he become privy to the horrifying information of Genghis’s past and the true reason he was sent to death by the hands of Satoru Gojo to begin with. Baidal knows that there was never any love between himself and Getou, being that Kokoro committed atrocities himself. ‘I have to find allies…’, knowing he may have to outsource beyond his clan in order to have the backing necessary. ‘What does he have planned for Master Getou?’. Baidal thinks to check a few more friends before leaving the compound, his anxieties feeling all too real to ignore.

Genghis is back to his excited mood as he feels the weight of Kokoro’s lack of existence uproot his very soul. ‘Kokoro was a mediocre man and never should have been given this role.’, he resounds internally as he feels that although that wasn’t the exact future he saw, he knew Mugoi was likely to expire at the hands of Fushiguro. “I do admire this Toji’s strength and he will certainly give us another edge until his time comes as well.”. He pretends to be kind as more Titers bow on foot to him as he passes, loving the thrill of being the faux head. The red clay-made walls and ground signify his descent into the compound, “Now we just have to work on Getou with the girl…”. Genghis smiles wider, ‘She’s truly perfect. What she’s capable of…what I’ll have her do…’. Genghis has yet to reveal all of his plans to Getou but will do so when he feels the time is right but not a moment sooner and for good reason. Upon turning the corner towards Getou’s quarters though, he feels the gravitational presence. “Such a grown child…”, but hurriedly runs towards the door with slight apprehension, knowing there were some of the help in there with him.

Getou is furiously releasing his gravity manipulation throughout the room. He’s yelling out but the sound means nothing in particular as he pins weaker Titers that were only there to serve him. “What am I supposed to do with THAT?!”, in pure fury he asks one of the servants as he points to the shattered bowl with water spilled all around it. “She’s…SHE IS DISGUSTING!”. The servants cry out unanimously as his fit continues but Getou purposefully doesn’t kill any of them. He looks to a younger male Titer who is already crying, “You really suggest that I should just accept this SHIT?! She’s tainted!”.

Genghis bursts through the door, “SUGURU! STOP THIS AT ONCE!”, and uses his crippling presence to counter the waves of gravity. They’re no match for Getou’s abilities but they can at least bounce some energy back to him, thus giving his attention to Genghis. “RELEASE THEM!”.

Suguru faces his mentor and reluctantly quells his technique, allowing the four pinned servants to scurry away through the door behind Genghis. “I wasn’t going to hurt them…but I may hurt bird bitch. You cannot SERIOUSLY expect me to want her.”. Getou now sits to the chair beside him and takes out his bun knowing he made a mess of it. ‘At least Fushiguro took action…’.

“What happened in the small number of hours I’ve left you?” Genghis sees the shattered bowl and immediately understands that Getou saw something he didn’t like. He takes in the state of the room, all of the different craters formed about as he nears. ‘We’re lucky this part of the structure didn’t collapse…’. He’s a little irritated.

“I will not have her as my wife.”, Getou huffs. He seethes at the images in his brain that depicted Elska, Naoya and Gojo sharing sexual relations. “She is not suited to be ANYONE’s wife!”. He accidentally snaps his hair band apart while trying to put his hair back up and becomes further infuriated. After grinding his teeth together, he tosses the useless hair tool across the room before running his hands through his long black hair. He sees Genghis nearing him and tries to recollect himself so he doesn’t seem immature. ‘Why the fuck did I have to see that?’.

“What happened little one? What is SO bad that you feel you can justify this tantrum?” Genghis needs his words to cut but not in a way that will dislodge Getou further. He understands that sometimes he just may need a parental figure and is attempting to gratify this part of Suguru.

“She…”, Suguru’s words silence for a moment before continuing, “…she was having sex with Zenin and Gojo…”. His fists clench reflexively as the thought of Gojo enjoying himself, living care free. It wrenches his intestines together. There’s a lack of response from Genghis, so he lowers his voice to exact his reasoning, “She fucks everyone.”, he cackles in annoyance, “Everyone but me that is.”. Getou remembers her glare when he left the room they held her in at the base. “I knew Zenin was oddly territorial with her but I never would’ve guessed this debauchery. He hates Gojo too…so I thought.”. Getou reels over the loss of his cohorts once again as he’s no longer alone but it doesn’t really feel like it.

Genghis knows Suguru is expecting him to be riddled with disgust as well but he’s isn’t. ‘Is he..?’, Genghis is not even upset anymore as he feels that was confirmation of Suguru’s jealousy, whether Getou knows it or not. ‘Maybe there is hope for us after all…’. He lets a few seconds pass to simulate that of someone who cares. Genghis loves Suguru like a son but he also loves his own future as well along with his grandiose plans for their clan. With a small sigh he brings a chair and places it opposite of Getou and sits down. “Look little one, are you sure tha-…”.

“SHE HAD GOJO INSIDE OF HER WHILE SHE WAS GAGGIN ON ZENIN!” Getou almost doesn’t catch himself in time to control the surging energy flowing through him. ‘Gojo… of all people.’.

“Hmmm…”, is all Genghis offers while he thinks of how to diffuse this situation.

“HMMM??!!!” Suguru mocks and then hollers, “What the FUCK kind of response is that?!”. He sees the glint of anger that flashes across his mentor’s eyes and decides to calm down. It’s a matter of respect.

Genghis raises an eyebrow at how perceptive Getou can be at times although he needs to learn to be like that always. “I can see why that would bother you…”, but Getou scoffs as he turns away. “Her nature…it’s solidified but ever changing it would seem. We may not have the time we originally thought.” Suguru looks back to him now as he’s obviously curious as to what that could mean. ‘She’s already creating a small but powerful army.’.

“What is that you know, Master?” Getou’s back to his collected demeanor as he’s eager to understand what could cause Genghis to seem so offhand on the ordeal. He looks around the destroyed room and feels slightly embarrassed, especially if there’s some kind of explanation.

“When she drinks from the hybrid, his curse blood fuels her own. This is what I was trying to elucidate to you before.” Genghis checks to make sure he has Getou’s undivided attention. When he’s satisfied by his pupil practically hanging on the edge of his seat, he continues, “She has awakened to a small degree and with her kind, that means a growing appetite for many things and less inhibiting emotions in exchange.”. Getou’s eyes narrow in response but Genghis proceeds, “When we get her here, you’ll have to sate her needs little one so it’s best you understand now.”. He’s anticipating a rebuttal but it doesn’t arrive, ‘Good, because if you don’t, I will...and that may cause some problems.’.

Getou is still mildly confused but understands enough that he’ll have to feed and fuck her. “I’ve already tried that, it didn’t work.”. His thoughts take to the last time he saw her, while he was working his way in.

“You stabbed her, broke her wings and then forced yourself between her legs… let’s understand the difference here, Suguru…”, Genghis shakes his head as he didn’t want to be so blunt but at the same time, there’s no room for error there, Getou must comprehend that.

“And she called out for Naoya when I did.”, Getou’s patience are being tried at this point. He knows he was wrong in his approach and even with his brutal nature. He also is hesitant to express anything in regards to that scent that provoked him.

Genghis interrupts the pity party, “Because she’s afraid of you Suguru…and rightfully so!”. He softens his eyes for his pupil for just a moment, “I could never imagine expecting any other outcome. I’ve never even thought to do something like that to a woman.”, Genghis lies with complete knack.

Getou exhales heavily and turns his gaze to the shattered bowl, “That doesn’t explain why she’s fucking everyone…”, he loses himself in those same images again and runs his finger along his scarred cheek. His eyes widen as he’s suddenly remembering the aftermath, “Toji attacked them though, I’m guessing Kokoro succeeded?”. He switches his view back to his mentor with inquisitive eyes.

Genghis decides to hold off of the details about Elska and Toji following the incident. ‘She really is getting her fill though…’, but smiles to her ways as he watched them that day, all of it, from afar. He then tilts his head upwards and tries to hold his happiness inside as he delivers Mugoi’s fate, “Kokoro perished by the hands of Fushiguro… and Oda.”.

Upon hearing of Mugoi’s death a small smirk appears initially but then he’s overcome with the fact that he’d always planned on taking out Kokoro himself. “How can he be dead? Isn’t he under the same technique?”. He hopes the bastard can return for more.

Genghis allows his grin to sneak through after seeing Getou’s reaction, knowing they’re both pretty glad the fuckers gone. “Yes well, they didn’t use any techniques to kill him, they just utilized that nature of theirs. If he were killed with a cursed ability, yes, we could have reversed that.” Genghis chuckles lowly, “I told him to be extremely cautious but he ultimately underestimated this Toji gravely. To be fair though, I wasn’t expecting the girl to behave as she did…she killed Okhin viciously as well.”.

Getou catches on to his master’s amusement and it rubs him as odd, “You said the outcome would benefit me…did you know this would happen?”. He’s decided to place that weird display in the back of his mind for the time being. ‘Okhin too?’, Getou barely knew the Titer woman but was aware of her loyalty to himself and their cause and feels regret that she lost her life.

“I did.”. Genghis leans toward being honest about this bit at least. He waits to gauge Getou’s response and becomes eased when he can tell that his knowing won’t be met with hostility. “Mugoi wasn’t a very good man and he had no business leading this clan. His strategies were half-baked and his desires to lead were misplaced.”.

“I never did like him…I actually hated that fucker and owed him for Kechi and Eso...” Getou sighs as there’s yet another thing to be grateful to Elska for. “Serves him right.”. ‘I wonder how she did it?’. Getou ponders on her mysterious existence and wonders what else he may not know about her. He thought he was well informed before but sees that’s not the case at all.

Genghis smiles genuinely as he proceeds the conversation to nourish the seed he’s planted, “So…you were watching her?”. He gives a playful shove to Suguru, “You can’t hide the fact that you’re interested…I can already tell.”.

Getou’s face becomes deadpanned at his mentor’s words. He’s self-conscious about the truth in the statement, not really being sure as to when it happened nor why. He looks back at the shattered bowl, “I was seeing if there were any tactics I could formulate based on their own.”. He feels another light push and it’s clear that Genghis wasn’t buying it. ‘Why is she so important to even him?’. He sighs in frustration, “Yes, ok? I was watching her…although I regret it now.”. His eyes widen during the statement, showing he meant it desperately.

Genghis releases a loud cheer into the room, “ALRIGHT!”. He pats Getou on the shoulder, “This is great little one! You shall have her then!”. He can barely control his pride as he knows this step was imperative to conquer. “We will have to secure her soon before the others reach her to do the same.

Getou wants to ask about the others mentioned but figures it pertains to the clans also aiming for the same goal. He becomes tactical, “I think we should draw them in and crush all of their shaman.”. This time, when preparing her quarters, he would take a note from Naoya and make sure she can at least be impressed by their offer. ‘Would it really make that much of a difference though?’, he’s unsure of what lies ahead because of what’s occurred in the past.

Genghis leans forward with approval, “That is a wise idea but we should bait them first.”, he smiles maliciously, “I think we should take your lover first and give them a location.”.

Getou blushes against his own will and tries to mask it with haste, “Whatever, that’s fine. I need to prepare an area for her.”. Suguru stands up, cloaked in agitation as he worries about what could be wrong with him. ‘Why…am I feeling so…awkward?’.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you only need to prepare another room for yourself.” Genghis can’t believe that he’s having to hold his pupil’s hand through this but laughs to the confusion painted on Suguru’s face, “She’s going to be staying with you.”.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Cho, how do you know this? ARE THEY NEARBY?” Naoya knows Choso is also very fine tuned when it comes to sensing other techniques, primarily the Titers for having worked around them for so long. Naoya still is looking around to silently ask everyone to be on their guard.

Choso doesn’t remove the box from his pocket. He keeps his fingers wrapped around it though and tries to figure out a way to communicate that won’t bring them to a disadvantage. His stillness unnerves everyone but Toji tries to calm the room, understanding there’s a purpose for it. Choso decides to try something. After standing, he uses his right hand to point at his pocket and while still holding the box inside of there, he flicks it a few times with his finger, creating sound.

Gojo is the first to catch on and decides to give it a codename, “The bento box!”. He smiles to Choso’s relieved nod and turns to face everyone. “Do you remember the yellow fish delivery we received earlier?”, Toji scrunches his face but then the connection is made. “I believe that Choso’s saying he can tell by the bento box it came in.” Elska now seems to get it as well.

“Baby? When did you eat yellow fish?” Naoya approaches her with a coy smile as the remaining members in the room sigh in frustration, thinking he was too dense to comprehend. Megumi scoffs being out of the loop and apparently feels ashamed of Naoya’s gestures. When within arm’s reach, Naoya snags Elska by the hip and kisses her cheek while whispering, “We will protect you princess.”. He feels her pull away only enough to look into his eyes. He knows she trusts him, it’s written all over her face and nothing could make him happier.

Elska is lost in Naoya’s warm expression until a realization hits her, “Does…does that mean they saw…everything?”. She becomes completely uncomfortable at the thought and welcomes Naoya’s arms as they wrap around her fully this time. While burying her face into his chest, she can feel the bass from his voice as he laughs awkwardly above her. ‘Greeeaaaaat…’.

“Well at least it was worth watching…I can attest to that!”, Gojo’s eyes brighten as he recalls the three of them on the bed. ‘It was…perfection.’. Nanami sends narrow eyes over to him which he can feel instantly and against his rowdier judgement, decides to leave it at that.

Toji scoffs while looking at Gojo, “You’re the fucking worst, you do know that, right?”. He’s never been able to stand Satoru’s need to gloat about everything, especially when it comes to her.

Gojo warps himself behind Elska, “Oh…but she loves it…” and ruts his pelvis into her rear.

Naoya uses his projection technique to pull her away afterward, “You’re too fucking much Gojo, don’t expect that shit to happen again.”. He actually really enjoyed the threesome for the most part but sees that he stoked an already heated fire within Gojo by participating. ‘This guy is not right in the head!’.

“Sati! Why would you do that in front of everyone?!”, She’s not felt Naoya’s technique first hand like that and stumbled with collecting herself after being moved with such speed. ‘Did he seriously just hump me?’.

Nanami yells, “SATORU!”, with absolute disapproval as Megumi scowls heavily beside him.

Choso loses himself in thought after hearing Gojo’s mischievous giggles. ‘Do they know that this connects their energy to us? I can tell when they’re spying…’. He twirls the box within his fingertips in his pocket as he tries to formulate an explanation as to why the Titers left it behind if this was genuine. He looks back over to Toji now, ‘Is he really ok? What did this do to him?’. Choso’s eyes now take to Megumi and his heart sinks knowing that they’ve only just begun their father and son relationship officially, ‘I have to figure this out before it’s too late.’. He still hears the voices of everyone else but doesn’t register that his name is being called. The surging energy from the box also ceases and he quietly states, “I think they’re done for now…”.

Toji sighs, “Thank god, those fucking creeps have nothing better to than to use ourselves against us.”.

Naoya and Elska both relax into each other knowing they can likely move more freely now. Naoya smiles at her but then continues what they were originally talking about. “I’ll get you some sweets baby!”. He now turns to Choso who is still in his own mind, “Cho!”, Naoya is waving at his friend, “Does that sound alright to you?”.

Elska chimes in, “I swear I won’t bite you again!”, she looks around to everyone, “Although I am due for a feed soon…”.

Naoya gasps, “Well I’ll stay too!”. He’s weary of her feeding from Choso for many reasons, his personal ones at the forefront though.

Toji huffs, “I think you two should make yourselves scarce when we come back.”, his vision glaring between Naoya and Gojo. “You two have had enough today.”.

Gojo wants to say something smart to rile Toji up but decides that maybe that wasn’t such a huge demand. He looks to Naoya and whines, “Let Toji feed her tonight…”. He kicks at nothing to display his disappointment but knows that he owes the giant this much at least.

Naoya grabs her hands now and looks down to her with his weak protest, “Baaaby…”, but then sighs as he can understand where Gojo is coming from, “…Ok…but tomorrow you feed from me!”. He smiles gleefully as he secures one of his favorite past times. Of course, he enjoys the feeling her bite surges through him but more than anything else, he loves how much she enjoys drinking from him. It certainly makes him feel needed and with all of the testosterone surrounding her now, he appreciates the affirmations he receives from her, this one especially. ‘If only I had my own fangs…’.

“If she drinks too much of you boy, she’ll get fucking cavities.”. Toji laughs to his own joke though as he meant nothing foul by it, he’s actually surprised he didn’t receive more resistance from either of them on the matter of feeding.

“What are you guys about to do?” Choso now feels he missed something important.

Elska and Gojo chuckle at the fact that Choso indeed tuned them all out moments ago.

“They’re going on a food run while you stay with me, if that’s ok!”. Elska smiles and continues, “You can take a shower too if you want, I won’t leave the room but you’ll still have privacy in there.”. She walks over to the bathroom and pulls out a fresh towel from a neat stack that lays on iron shelving next to the tub.

“And make sure you’re clothed when you leave the bathroom…”, Gojo’s tries to make his tone lighter but he’s serious. “I saw what you’re hiding underneath those clothes, you thick ass stallion!”, and laughs to Choso’s widening eyes.

Choso recalls Gojo complimenting his body before and becomes flustered by the accusations being launched at him and quickly defends himself, “Elska! I promise I wouldn’t try to do anything sexy to you!”. He hears Gojo roar into laughter and anchors his eyebrows in a way that show the silver shaman that he’s been teased enough for one day.

“I would hope not.” Megumi makes his quiet presence known again as he’s only just calmed down after seeing his sensei hump her…and then there’s the feeding. He turns his nose up and hollers while leaving for the door with Nanami, “GIVE HER SOME SPACE.”.

“Doll, I’ll be right back alright?” He grins when she nods in anticipation and he can sense that she’s as eager to feed from him as he is to feed her.

“Umm…I will too, don’t forget that part old man…”, Naoya finally releases his hands from her as he forces himself away and towards the door. “Be right back baby!” He blows her a kiss from the doorway but waits impatiently for Gojo to make his exit.

Gojo now grabs her hands and with a serious face says, “Love, just be careful and wait for Toji. We will back after you have some time.” He smiles, “Don’t bite Choso in case it’s related to that other you ok?” He kisses her on the forehead gently before stepping back and taking in her comfortable and casual appearance while relishing on his recent lush memories of them. He glances to Choso, “If anything happens, make a portal to Naoya but we should be back really soon.

Choso nods and is glad that there was reiteration over him being the source of her nourishment. ‘Gojo is far more intelligent than he typically lets on…’. After everyone leaves the room, the silence engulfs them. “I uhh…I guess I will take a shower now.”, and dutifully heads into the bathroom.

“Wait there’s a trick!” Elska rushes past the door before he can close it in order to reach the faucet. The temperature designated knobs are actually reversed and she didn’t want Choso to fall victim to ignorance’s cruelty. Once adjusted, she stands up tall and smiles, “Now, you’re all set!”.

“I tend to take lengthy showers, please do not be alarmed by this.” Choso feels the steam beginning to take form and is ready to wash the day away. She giggles and says “That’s totally fine, relax a bit.” Before switching on the fan and shutting the door behind her. As he undresses, he folds his new pajamas neatly on the counter, planning to put them back on when he’s finished. For a moment he freezes as this doesn’t make sense, how can he watch her while he bathes? ‘Oh, they were way ahead of me with this one…’. He forms his observer window, focuses it on her and leaves the curtain parted so he can check it from time to time.

Elska isn’t sure why but as soon as the words, “Relax a bit” left her, she felt the urge to do so herself. “Well…he did say he takes long showers…and they’re no longer watching us…”, she walks over to Choso’s unintentional gift and honestly just wants to try it. After grabbing it, she cautiously makes her way back to the bed, dropping her new ace sweatpants to the floor before laying on her back. Her mind brings her back to Naoya and Satoru taking her and becomes flooded with arousal. “That really was…amazing.”. Her nimble fingers press the tiny rubber button located on the bottom of the little pink mouse and jumps with excitement when it turns on. ‘This shouldn’t take much time at all!’, and gleams to its vibrational impact. The thought of Naoya extracting her pheromones and orgasms while Satoru filled her mouth sends a sensation between her thighs before the vibrator ever reached its target. She self consciously listens for any sudden movement in the bathroom, wondering why she was really about to do this right now. ‘I just feel like I need to…’, but is trying to ignore the fact that she’s seen plenty of action for one day, at least normally. Once the silicone bullet reaches her clitoris, her body tenses up by the sensations it sends through her and she quietly gasps with a wide smile.

Choso is rinsing his hair, enjoying the scented products that fall and mix into the water. ‘How does my hair feel this smooth after just shampoo?’, he’s amazed and feeling anew. After applying the thick conditioner, he decides to read the ingredients from the bottle located at the other end of the tub. When he grabs it, he turns to check his observer window to make sure everything is alright. “Oh my…”. His eyes are wide and the shock from what he’s seeing steals his attention thus causing the shampoo bottle to be dropped onto his foot. “OW!”.

Elska hears the commotion and immediately closes her legs for cover. She’s panting lightly as she was already pretty close to being done with this test drive but still calls out, “Chos…Choso? Are you alright in there?!”. She sits up as she listens carefully for a response.

“I uhhh…Yea!! I’m great! Just…dropped something!”. Choso feels his heart pounding through him and when he looks down can see his chest beat along with it. ‘I should’ve just told her the truth!’, he panicked though. He stands at the end of the tub where the water barely touches him as he breathlessly waits for a sign that she’d either stop or continue. ‘Does she not know I’m observing her?’. He watches her settle back into the bed but has failed to notice his instant erection until this point and whispers, “Damnit…”. When she places the mouse back on her sensitive areas, he can see her face twist in pleasure and cannot help himself. Choso begins to stoke his member as his human desires take over and shudders to the wonderful sensations it sends through him. Elska moans quietly but Choso is audibly attached to his window so he hears it. He watches her placement of the toy and is surprised to see that it’s used to for surface features rather than being for inside. He continues to pump his hand, gaining speeding even while the water threatens to stop his motions, moaning himself as he studies the visual before him. “Women…they’re such…beautiful creatures…”, he whispers through his small gasps.

Elska is working towards her climax, intermittently edging herself when she feels she’s too close, not wanting to end the pleasure so soon. She thinks about how Toji always tries to stimulate her with his hands while he works himself into her, causing her toes to curl. ‘Toji and this would be incredible…’, she pictures him with his wings and fangs out, using his mass to pin her against the bed as he thrusts through her. In this fantasy, he would hold the mouse down against her, forcing her to endure the bliss while locking glowing eyes. “Holy…oh…yes…”, she whines out underneath her breath as she feels her moisture gather. She imagines him smugly smirk above her before saying, “Doll, you’re so fucking wet for me.”, but realizes that would be much more of a Satoru thing.

Choso is no longer even bathing by this point but has opened the curtains further so he can still receive the warmth from the water as he continues towards his own relief. Every time her body arches or she whispers confirmation to how good she’s feeling, his hand increases speed by itself. He looks down to see how unbearably hard he is and bites his lip as his vision takes back to his technique. His mind is plaguing him as he doesn’t have a direct desire to sleep with her but she’s always the subject of his sexual thoughts. He imagines himself sitting between her knees, administering the mouse. “Mmmm…”, he groans while thinking of her furrowed brow and flush expression being the product of his placement. His hand grips his girth and he momentarily seethes and hisses to the building rise coursing through him. He whispers her name to his own dismay, feeling that it increased his ability to reach his orgasm. The water falling down his back has become cooler but it doesn’t deter him from this interesting experience.

She is now daydreaming about Satoru’s aggressive behavior. ‘He would most definitely use this mouse as a tool to dominate.’, and the thought of him bending her over while making her hold it to herself almost makes her unravel. He’d say things like, “Awww love, what’s the matter? Can’t handle it?”, and she would have to respond to him before he’d smack her ass…but maybe she would keep quiet on purpose. He’d likely grab her by the throat and raise her up from behind so he could hear her clearly as he spreads her from within. She gasps to this and arches her body again as she nearly lost herself. Her eyes open widely though as she’s sure he would attempt anal next…but she wouldn’t necessarily fight him. ‘If I ever tell him that I actually like it, he would try it all of the time though…’, and the idea of him relentlessly trying to impale her in that manner slightly decreases her arousal.

Choso is all but minutes away from being spent. He’s staring intently into the observer’s window and ignores her change in demeanor. Instead, he’s now wondering about this taste that women provide. He still isn’t sure you’re supposed to lick them there but the probability of it being allowed makes him imagine how he would. The expression on her face is back to be pleasant so maybe if he would take his tongue to the same spot where the mouse is located, he could cause this too. His eyes are closed at this point, while he hastily grips and rhythms with his hand so when she cries out, his imagination runs wild and he imagines inserting himself into her. That was a mistake though because in this moment, he’s releasing his contents all over himself and the tub while he fails to cease his motion.

Naoya’s sweet but domineering nature saved the day. While reliving old memories of when she was his prisoner, she remembers the sexual tension that made her crave him even more. While envisioning them on their sides again, she smiles to the desperation felt that consumed her, making her take him in his sleep. “Oh…Naoyaaaaa…”. It really didn’t matter what he would try with her, Elska was likely to allow him wantonly, she trusts him fully in this realm. In her sexual dream however, he’s given glowing red eyes and golden wings. He would brush her hair aside while rocking his hips while they lay there but he’d also lean down to pierce her neck. “God pleeeeassee…”, she begs the universe to at least be able to simulate what his fangs would feel like. She cries out though in real time and releases a wave of pheromones as her legs tremble, the orgasm following immediately after. She lies there panting, not having removed the mouse from her hand, nor has she budged to change her position. Her eyes take to the little mouse though while she heaves and feels her arousal seeping out, “This was actually a wonderful gift Choso!”. She smiles and feels the cold chills that are result of her thin layer of sweat. She goes to sit herself up but finds she just doesn’t have the energy in this moment. Her eyes dart open as she recalls, “CHOSO! SHIT!”, having temporarily forgotten that he was in the bathroom, only a few feet away. She sits up tensely to gather herself as the door is pushed open. She screams, “DON’T!”. She feels so ridiculous as she knew Toji’s door no longer latched.

Choso heard her scream and although he’s a mess he launches out of the shower. “Elska! What’s wrong?!”.

Toji stands in the doorway first inhaling the scent before noticing Elska’s position and eyes the mouse next her on the bed. The fact that she wasn’t dressed on her lower half clearly gave it away. He feels himself get a little excited but its all but crushed as a wet and naked Choso barrels out of the bathroom door. “What the f…”.

Elska quickly covers herself before Choso has a chance to turn around but she can’t help but stare at him against her better judgement. His body is so refined and built, his lower half just as impressive. She doesn’t feel any desire to experience him but she can still appreciate a good work of art. When their eyes meet, Choso turns beet red and flails his hands in an attempt to shield them from his usually hidden parts. “I thought something was wrong!”.

“The fact that you’re out here butt ass naked is the something that’s wrong buddy…”, Toji glares at the being and huffs. Toji points his finger toward the door and says, “Go get some fucking clothes on! What were you doing in there to still be bathing?!”. A realization hits him and he growls at the possibility that Choso was relieving himself in his shower. “How the fuck were you planning on protecting her if you were in there the entire time?!”, Toji demands an explanation.

Choso looks away from Toji and to the floor, “Well…I was watching her still…I just multitasked.”. He can feel Toji’s presence intensify immensely and wonders if he should have just lied and apologized.

Elska folds over in the bed and curls up in embarrassment. ‘Does he mean…he watched me do that?”, she too mortified to ask or even look at either of them.

Naoya now walks through the door, “CHO! WHAT THE FUCK!?”. He sees Elska hiding in the bed and after seeing his friend’s bareness, freaks out. “WHAT DID YOU DO!?”, he runs to Elska who’s actively deflecting any interaction and he assumes the worse. “Baby! What happened?!”, He then sees the pink mouse on the bed and feels his left eye twitch. He snatches it from beside her and charges Choso, “YOU THOUGHT TO USE THIS ON HER?!”. He sees the surprise in Choso’s eyes and even through his anger, realizes that he jumped to conclusions.

Elska understands this is taking a wrong turn so she sits up again and says, “I used it on myself! Choso was just taking a shower and bolted out here when I screamed!”.

Naoya stops now, being only about a foot away from Choso. “Baby, what caused you to scream?”, he now looks at the toy with a raised eyebrow, ‘Could it really be that good?’. Choso’s eyes meet it too and the being blushes further.

“She screamed when I came through the door, boy, calm down.” Toji is now pinching the bridge of his nose in aggravation to the endless web of miscommunication that spins between them. He walks over to Naoya and steals the mouse. “You guys need to scram for a few. She needs to feed and I’m tired of there being a god damn peanut gallery.”.

Choso immediately rushes into the bathroom to change as Naoya pouts while walking back to Elska. “Baby, I’m parking right next door and I’ll be back as soon as you are finished.”.

“We actually are switching rooms tonight!” Gojo now strolls in, having listened from the hall. He comprehends everything that just happened, from the dual masturbation to the sad accusations that were pointed to Choso. If he hadn’t stayed behind though Megumi would’ve seen everything before being shooed away and that’s the only thing that bothers him. ‘Toji is going to have to handle that soon…’.

“This is my room you silver fuck, I don’t want to move.”, Toji defends his messy territory that has suffered from the multiple people using it.

Elska is further jolted by Satoru’s sudden appearance but calmly asks, “What are you talking about Sati?”. She’s now quickly donning her ace pants while trying her best to make it seem like she’s no longer bothered by what may have taken place with Choso. ‘I’m just glad that topic got skipped over…’.

“We’re going to a bigger room, with a bigger bed.” Gojo winks at her as he’s still bent on proving to her that the additional company can be worked with. “But you two can still feed here, I’ll have Naoya and Choso help me set everything up!”. His eyes take to Toji, “Surely you can understand why this room’s defenses are no longer suitable…”. He glances to Elska and brings his palms up to the situation they’re in with an expression that says, “Think about it.”.

“I swear if it’s poorly designed, I’m going to snap. Color scheme and layout is everything Gojo…”, Naoya rolls his eyes as he’s really not in the position to refuse lodging but wishes he didn’t have to share everything with his cousin and him.

Toji howls, “You fucking broke the door in the first place you cunt!”. He never knows how far the silver shaman will go but is slowly wondering if there are any boundaries at all. Becoming further irritated, he starts to manually push everyone towards hall. “Get the fuck out!”. Naoya is still protesting to being forced to leave even as Toji shuts the door in his face, hearing his whining through the wood. “Jesus Christ…they’re such fucking handful…”.

Elska giggles to Toji’s vexation but sits on her knees as the large man returns toward her, sitting on the bed.

Naoya is still on the other side of the door, “Choso is in there you old fart!”.

Toji’s eyes narrow to the bathroom but before he can say anything, Choso quickly races out with soaking hair and practically runs to the door leading to the hallway. He now sighs and slouches over on the edge of the bed, “Doll…sometimes it’s so much to navigate through…”, he looks to her, “…are you not overwhelmed by all of this?”. His hand finds it’s way to her cheek after he orients his body more towards her. They’re eyes respond to each other, him not knowing who’s began glowing first.

“It is…a lot…”. She admits while nuzzling into his hand. “…but look at how you three loners are no longer alone.”, she means it and smiles genuinely as that part does lift her heart. She watches Toji scoot back onto the bed but to his knees and her teeth peer through her lips as she gathers he’s getting straight to it. With slow motion, she crawls over top of him until she’s perfectly seated in his lap and his arms are securing her body against him. Looking down from now overhead, she chuckles, “Just like our first time…”, and brushes his hair from his face as she happily takes in the details of his rugged features. “I’m really sorry about earlier Toji…I really wasn’t expecting Sati to take us away like that. I really wasn’t expecting any of it actually.”.

Toji can sense her guilt and feels like he should address his prior purpose. “Doll, I was just worried Gojo was taking things too far…like before. I didn’t trust that he would have your best interest at heart which is why I was so angry.”. He lifts his chin so he can tuck her head underneath it while holding her, “I am with you no matter what, never forget that.”. Toji closes his eyes as he feels her relax and cackles, “Naoya already said he wasn’t going to do that again but I feel like Gojo will still try.”. He pulls her away and bends his neck to the side to give her full access with a smile.

“You’re too good for me, Toji…”, she laments while eyeing his neck. Instead of immediately biting him though she turns his head back towards her for a deep and passionate meeting of the lips. He responds by send his tongue into her mouth, causing her to whimper as she grips his sleek black hair with her right hand while holding his throat with her left, not even meaning to. Both of their fangs form as soon as he breaks their lustrous kiss and he again positions his head to the side as she lowers her own. She can hear him groan as her teeth skip across the skin of his neck and right as she’s about to puncture him, Satoru’s presence can be felt.

“LOVE WAIT!” He runs over to the bed as Elska didn’t seem to even flinch. “Choso made a valid point!”, Toji’s glowing eyes finally meet his so he continues, “If Toji has Titer energy in him, this is about to be another fucking catastrophe!”.

Toji swiftly blocks Elska from his neck and rolls over so she’s pinned to the bed, being startled by her reaction.

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kokorosfanfics · 5 years ago

Text

Kokichi saves his fem!Crush from a Yandere!

Look. I know I said I wasn’t writing for Killing Harmony until I finished watching it, but I’m currently on Chapter 4, AND I had a dream where this happened to me and I HAVE TO WRITE IT! -Mod Kokoro

It all happened so fast. One moment, you were simply walking with your best friend and crush, Kokichi Oma, and as soon as you waved goodbye and went home, you blacked out. You awoke to find yourself strapped to a chair in what looked like someone’s basement.

“What the hell? Where am I?”

“Ah, I see you’re awake!” A boy you’ve never seen before came down from the stairs to greet you.

“Who are you? Why am I here? What-”

“It’s fine, Y/n. You’re safe now~ Away from the cretin who DARE waste your precious time!”

“W-What? How do you know my name? And who are you calling a cretin!”

“I’ve taken you here.” He smiled creepily. “We’ll be here. Together, forever, my love~”

“I-I’m not your love! I don’t even know you!”

“Does it matter? You’re mine now.”

“No! I’ll never be yours!” He leaned in closer, as if he was going to kiss you. But before he could, you spat on him, right in the face.

“I will NEVER be yours, you fucking psycho!”

“Very well, but II know you’ll come around.” And with that, he left.

Days went on. It’s been about a week now, and you’re still trapped here. Your kidnapper only lets you out of the chair to use the restroom, and even then your hands are bound.

“Let me GO!” You struggled against the rope binding you to this chair.

“I’m afraid I cannot do that, until you’ve accepted-”

He was interrupted by what sounded like glass breaking.

“W-What the hell? Ah! I’ll be right back, love.”

“I hope not.” You mumbled.

You then heard some very familiar voices.

“Hey scumbag. Where’s our friend?”

“Yeah! Where is she?” D.I.C.E was here?

“We want our Vice Leader back right now!”

“She’s- Ah!” It sounded like the stalker had been knocked unconscious, and then you heard your favorite voice of all, Kokichi.

“Y/n! There you are!” Kokichi immediately ran to you, and cut all the ropes keeping you to a chair. You immediately hugged him close, and he did the same.

“I-I thought I’d never see you again, Y/n! When you were gone for a week, no one saw you anywhere. I was so worried, and when I found out that boy took you, I knew had to do something! I’m so glad you’re safe...” And you knew full well this was a truth, from the was he was acting.

“How did you find me?” You asked him.

“Well, nothing can hide from the Ultimate Supreme Leader, and he made the mistake of mumbling to himself in the hallway!”

“He goes to our SCHOOL?” You felt sick.

“Not for long. He’s going to either Hell or Juvie, I’ll decide based on which one you prefer.”

“He can go to Juvie. I don’t anyone else getting in trouble.”

“Juvie it is!”

Kokichi checked you for wounds he could report, and thankfully only found rope burn. He had picked the lock to break into his house, and instructed D.I.C.E. to distract your captor with booby traps and loud noise. When the two of you walked upstairs, you found the boy who kidnapped you, on the ground, with his face being vandalized by D.I.C.E members.

“Oi Y/n! Here!” One of them tossed you a sharpie. You decided to write “Creepo Doofus” on his forehead. You had your fun messing with his face, and tying him up so he couldn’t break free, and Kokichi got to calling 911.

“Ah hey, so I just got done saving my best friend this wack job at our school who kidnaped her, and he’s currently unconscious right now. Could you come get him?”

The authorities came, and DICE had to warn them of the booby traps set for the stalker so they don’t step in them, took the boy, and asked you some questions, and Kokichi and the rest of D.I.C.E, and let everyone go on their merry way.

“Kichi... Thank you. Everyone else, too.”

“Of course we’d come rescue our Vice leader, we care about you!”

“Yeah!”

Kokichi grabbed your hand, and held it tightly.

“Of course... Who wouldn’t want to save the one they love?” He said softly.

“L-Love?” Was this real?

“Hey. I saved you, because I care about you. I care a lot about you. More than in a friend way. I Like like you.” He said as he played with your fingers.

“Kichi.....”

“You don’t deserve a liar like me. I lie about a lot of things, but I won’t lie about my feelings for you. I..... Yeah. Iloveyou!”

“Kichi I love you too!”

“You do?!?!?!”

“Yes!”

Kokichi immediately wrapped you in a big hug and started jumping excitedly. You smiled, and kissed him right then and there on the lips. DICE cheered in a big circle, and celebrated the event. You and Kokichi, finally together. Really, could you ask for any more?

#danganronpa #kokichi #kokichi x reader #kokichi oma x reader #kokichi ouma #kokichi oma imagine

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thefloatingstone · 5 years ago

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We’ve gone from Self-Isolation to Quarantine and in some places to gradual relaxation phases, but that doesn’t stop the need for more nonsense you can watch on youtube while you wait for things to get back to normal. And recommending things and making lists are some of my favourite things to do but I have not yet figured out how to start or structure a video myself, you guys get another rambling tumblr post of things you can watch on youtube.

This time I’m once again just gonna recommend individual videos rather than full channels like I did in part 2.

Part 1

Part 2

In no particular order;

LOCAL58: The Broadcast Station that Manipulates You

I recently started watching the Nexpo channel when I went on a binge of creepy youtube videos. Most of his videos are really good although the ones where he himself goes into theory crafting can be a little asinine. However, this video is REALLY good. And before you get nervous, LOCAL58 is not a real TV station. LOCAL58 is a youtube channel created by the same guy behind the Candle Cove creepypasta. This video by Nexpo covers the various episodes of LOCAL58 and discusses them. Just be aware going in that this is abstract horror, and will probably get under your skin regardless if you’re unaffected by certain topics or not. although cw for suicide mention.

I also recommend most of the rest of this channel, although be careful where you tread. I don’t recommend his series “Disturbing things from around the internet” as it can sometimes include real life crime, abuse and such caught on security cameras. Everything else is really good tho. (although I was really annoyed by his 2 videos on KrainaGrzybowTV)

The Search for D.B. Cooper

LEMMiNO has a new video out covering one of the most unexplained crimes in the past century of the US. LEMMiNO is the guy I’ve recommended before who did videos on the Universal S. He is very down to earth and not someone prone to conspiracy or even really that fanciful of thinking. (He’s like the one person I feel covered the Dyaltov Pass incident and was confused by why this was even a mystery because if you read the Russian Autopsy reports and documents associated with the case it’s all pretty logical and easily explained)

D.B. Cooper is the name given to a man who, in 1971, hijacked an airplane with a bomb, asked for a large sum of money, and after receiving it, parachuted from the plane and was never seen or heard from again.

The Austrian Wine Poisoning | Down the Rabbit Hole

Down the Rabbit Hole also has a new video out, this time covering the Austrian Wine Poisoning event from 1985. A scandal that involved literally the entire country of Austria, affected multiple countries, and forever changed the way wine was made world wide. As someone who is generally pretty allergic to most artificial substances this one made me personally very angry. But luckily, it has a happy ending and a better world for us all... if I could drink wine which I can’t do anyway.

The Turbulent Tale of Yandere Dev - A Six Year Struggle

The Right Opinion is another channel I only recently subbed to after watching his cover on Onion Boy. I put off subbing to him simply because of his channel name and I thought it meant he would come across as smug and elitist. Luckily this seems to merely be one of those “I chose a bad channel name and now I’m stuck with it” type of situations. (IHE has a similar problem).

Anyway, I have a weird interest in bizarre internet personalities, so I’ve been enjoying his channel as he simply discusses and presents a timeline of events of certain individuals. In this video, he covers the developer behind the much maligned Yandere Simulator. It’s a tale of hubris, arrogance, immaturity, and an unwillingness to accept your own shortcomings due to ego.

Oh and there’s a meme game about Japanese school girls with anime tiddies in there as well.

The Most Relaxing Anime Ever Made | Yokohama Kaidashi Kikō

Kenny Lauderdale is a youtube channel which is slowly becoming bigger which I’m very happy to see. He exclusively covers anime and live action Japanese television no younger than the mid 90s (as is the case with YYK) and which usually never saw a release outside of Japanese Laserdisc. I do wish his videos were a little longer, but if nothing else his videos serve as an excellent starting to point to find some older and underappreciated shows... or hot garbage fires. In this episode he talks about the 2 OVA episodes made based on one of my favourite manga, Yokohama Shopping Log. A Post apocalyptic anime about an android who runs a coffee shop outside of her house, and the quiet solitude of living in a world of declining human population, brief encounters with travelers and other people, and just... existing. The anime was never released outside of Japan and is only available on Japanese VHS and laserdisc.... but hey guess what!! Somebody uploaded both episodes, subbed, to Youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2HCVOH6DtA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqSTwfkobME

YMS’ slow descent into madness as he uncovers just how bullshit the Kimba Conspiracy is

I’m linking a full playlist for this one.

YMS is busy planning his review on the “live action” Lion King remake as the original 1994 movie is probably his favourite movie all time (and also self declared what made him a furry). As part of the 2 hour review, he decided to what all 2000 hours of Kimba the White Lion just to mention how The Lion King potentially stole the idea. ....until he actually watched all 2000 hours of Kimba and realised that if you actually WATCH Kimba, it has VERY little to do with the Lion King at all apart from having the same animals in them because AFRICA. Watch as one man slowly loses his mind as he realises just how stupid this conspiracy theory is, just HOW DECEITFUL and straight up LYING people can be. People who write BOOKS. People who teach LAW AT UNIVERSITIES. Because NOBODY bothered to actually watch the entire show and just parroted the “Disney stole this” lie which got started by like 2 salty fans on the internet.

The man set out to just mention how Disney stole an idea, and uncovered one of the most infuriating rabbit holes on the internet. Screaming for SOMEONE to provide him with sources or evidence.

YMS will be publishing his full Kimba documentary this month which he has said is around 2 hours long before he continues to work on the Lion King one.

Science Stories: Loch Ness eDNA results, Poop Knives, and Skeleton Lovers

TREY the Explainer has a video giving us some updates in Archeology from 2019. In this video he discusses the findings of the eDNA results conducted on the Loch Ness to see what animal DNA the lake contains which will tell us what living animals currently inhabit the lake, ancient knives made of poop and if this is a real thing that could have existed, and a skeleton couple found buried together which were at first thought to be lovers, then revealed to be both male, and then how in this instance we cannot let our modern sensibilities dictate what we WANT this burial find to be, but to look at the evidence as presented to us and place in context finds of this nature. The worst thing an archaeologist can do is look for proof to a theory they already have.

The Bizarre Modern Reality of Sonic the Hedgehog

Super Eyepatch Wolf is back and he’s here to talk to us about the very very strange existence of Sonic. a 90s rebellious “too cool for School” answer to Mario, a lost idea as the world of video games changes and culture shifted, a meme and punching bag amplified by a unique fanbase and poor quality games, a transcendence into a horrific warped idea of what he once was, and modern day and where Sonic and his fans are now. As usual Super Eyepatch Wolf knocks it out of the park.

Kokoro Wish and the Birth of a Multiverse: A Lecture on the Work of Jennifer Diane Reitz

I don’t even sub to this channel as I’m not entirely sure what Ben’s usual content is about. But every now and then he has a “101″ class, where he explains to a room full of his friends in a classroom setting (complete with Whiteboard) an internet artist and oddity, the timeline, and what it is they have created. (wait... didn’t I say this already?). Unlike TRO however, the 101 classrooms are not a dark look into disturbed individuals (although the CWC 101 is debatable) nor is it a “lol look at this weirdo” dragging. Instead, of the 3 he’s done so far, it’s usually a rather sympathetic look at some of the strange artists on the internet who through some way or another, left a very big cultural impact on the internet space through their art. Sometimes they may not be the best people, but their work is so outside of what we’re used to seeing that just listening to him run you through these people’s internet history is fascinating.

In this episode he talks about Jennifer Diane Reitz. And although it is titled Kokoro Wish, the lecture is more about Jennifer’s larger work back in the early internet when being a weeb was unheard of, how being trans influenced her stories and characters, and her world building that is so rich and in-depth with it’s own ASTRO PHYSICS it puts any modern fictional world found in games or movies to shame.

Jennifer is not exactly a nice person... and in many ways can be seen as dangerously irresponsible, but she created something truly unique in a way that you kinda struggle figuring out if it’s terrible or a work of genius.

Anyway I think that’s enough for now

#Youtube #youtubers #recommendations #Self Isolation playlist #Long post #part 3 #videos #links

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amaryllisblackthorn · 4 years ago

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part 3

so. it’s been a while. i had this pretty much written up months ago but i petered out near the end which is why it took so long to post it.

so this covers my thoughts&observations on ep37+38 regarding takeru+ken post-kaiser. i’ll be posting another post later summing up my overall thoughts.

part 1 | part 2

[ep37]

ken tends to have a lot of anger in his voice when talking to archnemon, which makes sense. it's personal. and just like yamato said; ken and takeru share similar feelings.

daisuke: we worked so hard :D (looking back and forth between friends) takeru: you're right C: daisuke: right? right?

ken and iori aren’t looking at daisuke until daisuke goes 'right right'. ken looks down and iori looks at daisuke. daisuke notices something's up with ken. 'what’s wrong ichijouji? what? if you have something to say, say it'. further example of how jogress partners tend to notice when something's bothering them.

ken reflects his thoughts that if the darkness isn’t completely destroyed immediately it will continue to absorb its surroundings and produce more 'sad lives' like bwg; hikari's thoughts are that ken is also referring to himself and how he created Kimeramon. this is something that daisuke and miyako are implied to be aware of as well; the way takeru and iori are looking at ken when he talks also suggests they're aware of it as well.

it's kind of fitting, then, that takeru speaks up. after all, he's the one who kind of inadvertently brought this to ken's mind back in ep 34.

takeru first says ‘i don't think so/I think differently’ in response to ken, directly to him, which has ken react in surprise and turn his head to face takeru.

takeru goes on to say that 'sure, darkness is terrible, and we'd feel peace of mind if we were able to get rid of it completely, but I'm sure that's impossible’. ken repeats "impossible?" takeru then looks slightly away, as though he's deep in thought/thinking of how to say what he’s thinking, and says how where there is light, there is darkness, which has hikari respond with 'the brighter the light, the darker the shadow, right?' which has takeru turn his head back to the group (and ken) as he responds 'yes', adding 'that's why it's important not to lose sight of the light inside you'. focus on ken as he repeats 'not losing sight of the light inside of you'.

now what does this mean? what is its importance? bc it's definitely significant. but how?

I think this is the first time since ep28, where takeru told ken to not act cool, that I think takeru has directly talked specifically to ken post-kaiser stuff.

up until now, Takeru's stance regarding Ken was externally vague at best, as he was the only one who hadn't made his position clear to Ken. Ken generally knows where Daisuke, Miyako, and Hikari side, and where Iori sides -- or at least where Iori sided, and he doesn’t really have any reason to think he’s changed his mind. He doesn’t really have any idea where takeru sides, as takeru hasn't made it clear to him.

Takeru's willing to work with him, sure. he's civil enough. but to be fair iori has also been working with ken and being civil for the most part too, esp post ep28. this doesn't necessarily reflect their personal feelings towards him.

what Ken knows is Takeru told him he was way over his head regarding the power of darkness in ep19 and physically assaulted him with a significant anger present, warned him that playing around with the power of darkness would have grave consequences if he didn't stop (and it did), told him they'd settle their 'match' (which was really just takeru beating up ken) next time, and lectured him on digimon being alive like the rest of them, before wormmon died. (and said ‘he’s dead’ after wormmon died).

what ken knows is, after wormmon died, takeru told him, somewhat upset, not to act cool in response to his offer to kill archnemon so the other kids wouldn't have to, and then suggesting a (temporary) nonlethal alternative. even more, ken knows that takeru has repeated the sentiment that using the power of darkness to create 'unhappy life' and destruction is 'unforgivable' with a similar intensity that was present in the ep19 encounter--which is something ken did. ken also knows that takeru declined to attend the meeting at daisuke's house in a suspicious manner, followed by iori.

it's not a stretch to imagine that ken figures that while takeru is willing to work with him and be civil, takeru finds what ken did to be unforgivable and personally does not like ken.

and I don't think that's Takeru's intention. the fact that takeru seemed to express possible/potential concern over ken's guilt motivating him, I don't think Takeru means for Ken to beat himself up when he says those things. and in this scene we have Ken feeling guilty, which is presumably understood by everyone, and disheartened. and takeru kind of reaching out, in a way.

there are several ways that what takeru said could be taken I feel.

for one, it's a hopeful (heh) thing. when ken expresses his thought that as long as there is darkness, the cycle will continue. takeru expresses that darkness winning is not an inevitability as long as you don't lose the light inside you.

it works on a personal level, too. it's okay if ken continues to struggle with the darkness -- it's unfortunate and not fun, but that doesn't make him a bad person -- as long as he holds onto the light inside of him, and there is light inside of him.

there's also something about the way qinglongmon said some stuff. earlier he claimed that "in order to bring the one swallowed by darkness back, it was necessary to temporarily create the digimental of miracles with the crest of kindness engulfed by darkness." he then later reiterates/rephrases Takeru's feelings when expressing what hope means -- "and hope means not to lose the light even when engulfed by darkness."

ken lost sight of the light inside of his heart for a while (his kindness, you could say), but he found it again after wormmon's sacrifice, as a result of a 'miracle' (tech found it in ep23). and it was a miracle that ken was saved before it was too late! the important thing for ken to do now is not to lose sight of it again.

and aside from the physical destruction the power of darkness can be used to create, takeru also knows about falling victim to the darkness from emotional vulnerability, for lack of better explanation. I can't recall exactly what he knew about Yamato's experience or what he picked up when witnessing Sora's, but Takeru more or less knows how people can fall prey to it. Yamato was engulfed by darkness, falling further and further into it; he was lost and ended up doing some misguided things as a result -- seriously fighting Taichi (in front of his little brother!) and when it really wasn't the time, for one. thanks to Gabumon, though, Yamato was able to find his way back. which is why I don't think Takeru would really hold it against Ken once Takeru had felt Ken had changed from before, and furthermore, Takeru knows that you can come back from it.

whatever Takeru's intent is, his meaning is -- naturally -- one of hope, and it's directed towards Ken.

and Takeru's words, particularly about not losing sight of the light inside you, seem to... impact? reach? ken, for lack of a better word, in some way, to an extent.

upon further thinking, it actually kind of reminds me of ep23 at the village of beginnings. when the baby digimon tell Ken “What is done cannot be undone. What you did was something unforgivable.” and “You can’t erase the past. Everything is part of you: the good and the bad are both part of you.”

while what ken did was unforgivable [kimeramon], he has to accept the good and the bad are both part of him. and ken tends to focus on accepting the bad as part of him, but he also has to accept the good part of him, too, in the sense that he acknowledges that there is good -- that he’s not solely a bad person. and maybe the good that’s a part of him is sort of analogous to the light inside him -- that despite being engulfed in darkness and all he’s done, there is light inside him, and the important thing is to not lose sight of it (again).

it also kind of reminds me of a line in ‘beat hit’, the jogress song. ‘There is light and shadow in both the heart and in the world. That’s testing you, the never ending battle.’ [Hikari to kage ga aru kokoro ni mo sekai ni mo / Sore wa kimi wo tameshite iru kesshite owaru koto no nai tatakai]

i don’t have too much to say here at this point about this other than encouraging others to throw their two cents in about what they think, bc this is definitely a significant moment. but in what way?

not really related to takeru+ken but later, when qinglongmon talks about the crests of hope and light, hikari turns to takeru and smiles saying 'our crests!' and tho Takeru's lookin back at her, I think, he's not smiling. which I find interesting. In ep34 it was shown that takeru can go from serious&intense to ^.^ pretty quickly and smoothly. I don't know what if anything it signifies but I found it interesting. idk

later, at the restaurant.

miyako and daisuke are fighting over the Chinese bun daisuke took; takeru holds out a bun to ken and says 'ichijouji-kun. they're delicious. will you eat with us?' and while ken was initially surprised by Takeru's action, he gives a small (cute!) smile which grows a little more as he says "thanks! :D" and accepts Takeru's offering. takeru is smiling at ken in the background as ken opens/splits the the bun and gives half to leafmon. leafmon says 'ken-chan, eating with friends is great, isn't it?' and ken replies 'it is'! and after this exchange takeru is still seen smiling at ken as he watches on.

so not only has ken accepted being nakama, he's accepted being friends, too! good for him! and takeru seems happy about that, too, which is swell.

also an interesting thing I noticed is that throughout this episode after qinglonmon appears, takeru, iori, and ken are often showed/grouped together in the same frame/shot.

takeru, iori, and ken are shown in frame when takeru goes 'is this what bwg was waiting for?' when qinglongmon appears. takeru, iori, and ken are once again shown in the same frame when ken goes "then, I..." after daisuke goes 'the dark towers seal his powers?'

then takeru and ken are in same frame, to the side, when archnemon and mummymon walk back in with the two other digimon subdued, archnemon saying 'oh well you found out' re: her/their goal ('building as many dark towers as possible and destroying this world's balance'). this shot is repeated after archnemon says 'but then you got the wrong idea, joined the chosen children, and started to destroy them'.

then takeru, iori, and ken are shown in the same frame again when takeru says 'so that's why they can only reach perfect level at certain times'. iori turns to look at takeru when he talks. iori says 'that's what koushirou-san explained to us a while back right?' and takeru and ken turn to look at him. iori turns back to qinglongmon 'he was talking about qinglongmon and the others' ken and then takeru turn back to face qinglongmon.

daisuke, hikari, and miyako are together in the same frame when daisuke and miyako say 'that must be us' & 'yeah. daisuke, me, and...'. the next shot is of iori with parts of ken and takeru shown in frame when iori goes 'myself'.

after bwg screams and goes off into the sky, there's a shot of daisuke+hikari+miyako, and then a shot of takeru+iori+ken. daisuke+hikari+miyako are again shown when daisuke says that 'now you can recover your lost power, right?', to which qinglongmon replies that not right away but he'll plant seeds of light in the meantime where the holy stones once were, and takeru+iori+ken are shown in the shot when ken echoes ‘seeds of light?'

then, daisuke+hikari+miyako and ken with most of his head cut off are in the same shot after ken talks about how unless all darkness is destroyed, it'll absorb its surroundings etc. then there's the focus on hikari thinking that ken was also referring to himself, and then there's a shot of takeru+iori+ken+daisuke, with the focus zooming on ken until takeru speaks up. even in the group shot when qinglongmon says ‘however, it does not mean that all threats have been eliminated', there’s a bit of a gap between Ken and Daisuke, dividing the kids into three and three (Takeru, Iori, Ken & Daisuke, Hikari, Miyako).

it’s interesting, especially considering the relevance these three have had during Takeru&Iori’s (pre)jogress arc.

[ep38]

ken is standing apart from the other kids. wormmon basically encourages him to give his invitations to the kids, but ken asks 'but will they accept?' and his hand is shaking. he's so nervous! even though his relationships with the other kids have improved. which is understandable. I suffer from social anxiety I get it.

it's reasonable to expect daisuke, miyako, and hikari to accept it, especially the former two. it's reasonable to expect iori /not/ to accept it (from kens pov). takeru has the most room for doubt, since he did make the offering of friendship more or less the prior episode, but is still a rather mysterious dude.

wormmon tells him it'll be fine. daisuke, in daisuke fashion, noticed something's up with ken and runs up to him. 'what are you doing? what do you have there? c'mon what is it?' ken, super nervous (aah!!), tells them that his mother said he should invite all of his friends to a Christmas party at their place. he lifts the invitations slowly, hand trembling. and the kids (minus iori) are excited and run over.

ken's hand with the invitations is still shaking and starts to retreat/withdraw, as if he's expecting a rejection, when he asks if they'd like to come. it makes me really feel for him honestly he's so nervous :( but when ken, uncertainly, asks if they would like to come, takeru immediately asserts "of course! [Mochiron yo]" and ken goes " :o ". takeru has his hand already out, directly in front of him, smiling, and ken lifts up the invitations and goes ' thanks !”', blushing, to which takeru says 'same to you. i'm happy you invited us.' and goes ^.^

the fact that takeru is the one to first accept ken’s invitation is intentional from the show. they emphasize ken's shaking hand with the invitation retreating. ken has doubts. and takeru clears up those doubts with his confident 'of course!' and 'I'm happy you invited us'.

and this is also takeru clearing up his own position, which has been relatively unclear until the last episode. takeru goes a step further from last episode by making it clear that of course he wants to come and he's happy they invited him.

and taking in Takeru's 'I'm happy you invited us' as well as his smiling at ken at the end of last episode, it seems that Takeru's happy that ken seems to be ... healing? in a way, for lack of a better word, which kind of ties into his apparent concern over kens motivations re: guilt earlier on. this kind of is also related to the end of the episode when sora looks at hikari and takeru and says that kens 'really changed, hasn't he?' bc it's not that he changed from kaiser to ken, it's that he's also changed in that he's happier. and everyone's glad about it too. also shown by the kids’ reaction when ken laughs at the party.

also takeru goes to ken’s party instead of supporting his brother at his concert. not that yamato probably minds or anything but i thought that was neat. i do like that koushirou and jou came to yamato’s concert too though that’s sweet heh

#takeru takaishi #digimon adventure 02 #digimon adventure #digimon #adventure 02 #ab analyzes

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