#my plans... in shambles
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rook calling davrin daddy ???? hellow ??????
#whyd he say that unprovoked#im actually leaning towards a davrin romance.......#my plans... in shambles#argghh#veilguard spoilers#<< just in case#personal
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YOU’RE TELLING ME I JUST HAPPENED TO FINISH MY YEAR LONG, 27 CHAPTER, 150K+ WORD FIC ON RISE’S ANNIVERSARY????

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she's upset because she doesn't care that it looks bad
#dungeon meshi#falin touden#marcille donato#farcille#my art#described in alt text#since ive heard the farcille stocks were in shambles ive been meaning to draw smth. couldnt draw what i had planned and got this instead
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me poorly restraining my Too Many Thoughts about chantry reformation: "haha yeah.... it would be neat. :)"
anyway i'm glad people liked my "varric tethras accidentally domino effects his pulp novels into contributing to a chantry schism" niche genre of posting... make sure to like and subscribe for more incredibly specific hot takes like "what's memento mori style painting like in thedas" and "was the veil a mass extinction event" and "varric could be sheherzade but to an angry titan" and "solas would stop wanting to end the world if given a watercolour set <3" etc.
#i have many thoughts in my drafts which are variations on pepe silvia meme hjdjdjsdgjf#burdened by both ''what the Fuck was solas' stupid plan anyway bc he would presumably think about it in his pov''#since unfortunately bioware flip flopped on how much of it should be#''blight trolley problem!! kill half to save the rest!'' vs ''ough augh the elves are in shambles and the world is imbalanced''#and then ''what if leliana is a leveller or perhaps a quaker. uhhh how do religious people even talk about this''#whenever i post this fic everyone needs to be SO polite and nice bc i do not have a drop of christianity in my bloodline#and i'm not religious in any other direction#so i am just trying my best... fighting for my life... i read 2 wikipedias and listened to some podcasts...#anyway i told myself ''maybe i will get over my da phase once i work through how bad vg was'' but#it was worse every time i considered it.#so i ended up with enough pepe silvia posts that i'm strongly considering organizing them at least for my own reference 😭
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oh my god that end credits theme is NOT tonally consistent with that episode ending. Oh god. What happened to funny dungeon food romp
#WELL THAT TOOK A SHARP TURN INTO TRAGIC BODY HORROR#OH MY GOD#WHAT THE HELL#SHE’S JUST BONES???????#LAIOS HAD TO CARVE A TUNNEL THROUGH BLOOD AND FLESH TO FIND HIS SISTER IN A PILE OF DECAYING FLESH AND BONES BEING BURNED AS FUEL?????#oh Jesus their original plan was to make it waste all of its fuel—#No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🥺#dungeon meshi has me in shambles#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi anime#dungeon meshi spoilers#spilling the Tea
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Sorry I can't hold it in. There's way more I need to say but in PHF canon the economy is in fucking shambles. I'm sorry Giorno but you cannot recover from getting rid of an eleven figure profit. If they're talking about lira it's practically nothing so I have to assume that it's converted to euros or something. Eleven fucking figures. Passione is not recovering from that loss. Giorno you can't just do that.
#astrophel jojoposting#Shambles I tell you#This is the main reason my quote unquote hit piece exists tbh. The fucking economy.#The reason my post canon fic will take so long is because I'm going to work it out in far too much detail#If someone knows more about currency than me lmk if I'm horribly wrong but like#Unless his plan all along was to destroy the mafia from the inside out. This isn't gonna go well#<3 My PHF fanfiction where Giorno fucks up the Italian economy so bad it causes a recession <3#Trying not to live blog my gripes as well bc that's gonna be a huge post but like.
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the way shades linger -- a indie/folk playlist for hades game patroclus + achilles (patrochilles)
tracklist and matching lyrics under the cut (playlist icon by wolfythewitch); will be perpetually updated and adjusted
Memory - Aristos the Musical (I wish I had a secret; I wish I had a thousand; just so I could tell him every single one)
You Woke, I Waited - PigPen Theatre Co. (When we are older, we'll hear our bodies say; Oh; We'd find the mountain, survive)
A Long Way Past the Past - Fleet Foxes (I'll know that it's true; that rebirth won't work like it used to be; and oh, man, was it that much better then?)
Ghost's Fingers - Lambs & Wolves (We'll meet where this body ends; Have you ever met a ghost hiding his hands?)
Another Involved - Cold Weather Company (There's another involved, there's a pain in these walls)
Wait It Out - Imogen Heap (Everybody says that time heals everything; But what of the wretched hollow? The endless in between?)
Can You Stay - The Family Crest (Can you stay; Cause you have my heart; Cause you've been mine for all of time)
Open Water Reckless Fishes - Squalloscope (Left all the good ones behind; Not because I wanted to, but because it was time)
Will Tomorrow Ever Come - Cold Weather Company (If time is our debt, what do we owe? Will I see you soon?)
You, Anything For - The Soil & The Sun (You could be the one who I would bleed for; Salt in my wound and seethe for)
Meet You At The Gate - Jayne Trimble (I will meet you at the gate; I don't mind if I've to wait; Cause, oh, it takes a little time to taste the fruit of the vine; show me the way to your heart)
Fair - The Amazing Devil (And clinging to the moment, "Where have you been?" She'll whisper, "I've waited, oh, so long for you to come")
Two Shadows - Benjamin Verdoes (You wanted to unravel, you wanted to escape; Here's the last place we kissed; But we're not trying to speak)
O Icarus - Aristos the Musical (This moment seems like memory; I'm grieving breathing, and the grief is air)
I Design Disasters - Robert Hallow and The Holy Men (And when I am alone; I trace your shape in the air beside me; Give it time love, I know you're wanting more)
Ribcage - Ash the Ghost (There's a ghost of who we were living in my spine; Maybe if we run away we can bring it back to life; Let it sink into our lines and edges)
Calling It Love - Devil and the Deep Blue Sea (Am I another home you lost in the flood; and are you the only living thing that I will ever touch?)
A Better Time to Meet - Adrianne Lenker & Buck Meek (I never feel more found than when I'm wandering; But to hear that quiet voice, I'd give up everything; To follow the soft sighing of the sea)
Always Gold - Radical Face (Yeah, everything goes away; But I am gonna be here until forever, so just call when you're around)
Everybody Here Is A Cloud - Cloud Cult (There's so much more to see in our darkest places; Have you found where your place is?)
The Moon/Awake - The Dear Hunter (How'd we lose our place? Who decided out fate? I'd bare you my heart if I knew that it was still there; I'm too nervous to look)
Rule #33 - Pyre - Fish in a Birdcage (When I looked in your eyes, I said I know you'll be fine; Trust yourself and live it your way)
You and I - Domimi Foster (You and I always were waiting; For the inevitable fall; Can we have one hour longer than this?)
My Love Goes To The Grave - Jayne Trimble (I can't go back, I've done you wrong; This is where I belong, where I'm going you cannot come)
Empty Hall Sing Along - Woodpigeon (Since you came, I don’t know what way is up and where I stand; or where I can; words take on a different plan)
True Love - Emily Brown (True love, tell me what's in your soul; Right when you're most at peace, that's when you lose control)
Shadow Boy - Little Moon (I whisper out your name, knowing you can hear; And you are here; I am here)
The Night We Met - Lord Huron (I don't know what I'm supposed to do; Haunted by the ghost of you)
You Are - Mother Falcon (What is dear to me? You are what is dear to me)
Let's Go Home - Cold Weather Company (Though you know I'll always turn back to you; And wonder what a little more time could prove; I just can't keep being like this)
Resurrection Fern - Iron & Wine (In our days we will live, like our ghosts will live; like stubborn boys with big green eyes, we'll see everything)
Sleeping World - Vancouver Sleep Clinic (I'm a wandering soul, lost in a city of homes; I don't see anything else, cause I'm just learning to hold you above a sleeping world)
Death with Dignity - Sufjan Stevens (Spirit of my silence, I can hear you; but I'm afraid to be near you, and I don't know where to begin)
You Are the Moon - The Hush Sound (Darkness, darkness, everywhere, do you feel all alone?; You don't see what you possess, a beauty calm and clear)
#patrochilles#patroclus#achilles#hades game#achilles hades#patroclus hades#hades supergiant#playlist#this is ironically my third? patrochilles playlist technically lol#i think a lot of indie/folk songs fit what hades game pat and achilles have going on#love and a lot of lamenting#i plan on adding more songs so this post will update a lot#once again playlist icon by wolfythewitch#their most recent mini animation had me in shambles btw#Spotify
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Oh yeah, once again when I really ought to concentrate I begin daydreaming about my 100th AU with my OCs. It is beatiful to think about them but come on, not now please!
#And like it's AU I never really imagined as my main#It's like a side AU with death game because I wanted to create one and see my OCs there#I never planned to play with it so much but it exists for like two years#(and it's still in shambles because I imagine my favorite scenes and nothing else)
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#sorry let me rant real quick in the tags#cw personal#once again hitting an insurance pothole bc the psych says she accepts my OHP plan HOWEVER the therapy group she is contacted with says#THEY don't#they only accept the insurance if it's through my employer but NOT through the government??????????????#so there's still some kind of payment???#anyway I want to scream why is this so complicated#like will she take my insurance or not who's right here#anyway called her back directly and went to voicemail so now I've done all I can for now#why the hell is this so hard man#the person on the phone didn't know really how to explain#once again no one knows what they're talking about#like can y'all not communicate and figure this out?#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#i need to get an ADHD eval before my next PCP appointment in june so that they will continue giving me my meds#and the psychiatry through the hospital has a limited number of visits that insurance will cover#*contracted#not retyping all of that#and once again the only reason this is so stressful is because the psychiatry group at the hospital fumbled the communication ball last tim#and the psychiatrist I was with never put the ADHD on the chart#and now somehow it's MY responsibility to fix that>#UGH#like I am grateful to have some kind of coverage but holy shit is the US healthcare system in shambles#the bureaucracy is INSANE#i had to just sit down and put my head in my hands for a second#and then go 'right okay nothing i can do about that rn moving on'#uGH#literally said 'what the FUCK' out loud a couple times#like not on the phone after I hung up obvs
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I took an assessment for a psych evaluation i couldn't afford and all the question really made me realize that I am like Fucked Up and genuinely need professional help that is not feasible
#it was like#“have any close friends or family died recently?”#“were you in any sort of vehicular collision?”#like it was so pointed that i realized the reson i start crying the moment anything happens is because ive been put through the wringer#my dad died my aunt died bith my cats died the rest of my famly is in shambles i wrecked my car and can barely drive at night anymore#like i wanna be who i used to be before all this#i wanna be able to plan things with my friends and not get so angry when something is inconvenient that i shut down#i know it will get better i know ill be okay i know that this too shall pass#its so hard to see the ending when i just realized ive been paralyzed at the start
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anw aventio gay sex. thanks for listening
#my phone KEEPS AUTOCORRECTING TO AVENTURIO WHY (its bc i misspelled his actual name for so long that it now misspells the ship name)#my mind is chaos sry i woke up my test is still positive i can now cancel my very urgent doctor appointment tmrw rn im just 🥴#my planned out week completely in shambles. only gay sex and mint tea can save me#babbles#tbd
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Oh yeah yesterday I went to my C programming professor's office hours to ask about what's being covered in class tomorrow. Since I can't go bc of my PT appointment overlapping with it & I'm apparently the kind of student that cares about attending every single class now.
While I was there, I ended up chatting with him about a few things, including my current standing in the class. He asked what I got on the midterm exam, & I answered it was an 87, and he told me I was one of the top 5 or 6 scores in the Whole Class (this being a like. Maybe 70 or so person class). Top score was a 92 or 93 (idr lol) & the class average was a 72. Apparently there were a few of us in the upper 80s/lower 90s, but most people got 70s or lower. And once he does the curve on the exam, he said I'd probably end up with a 97 or so on the exam. So yay!!!
And then he told me how he's noticed how I come to class every day and am really active with taking notes and answering questions. Bc I also sit up front all the time lmao. Hadn't even realized how much of a damned teacher's pet I've been being, but I've been Trying to be a good student this year. But he said I was the type of student that if I got an 88% or smth in the class, he'd likely bump me up to a 90% so I'd get an A lol. But he also said so long as I keep up with how I have been, I could possibly get a 100% in the class by the end (bc I've been there for all the extra credit questions in class and whatever).
And just. I went there bc I wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything important in class on Wednesday, and I ended up having my ego stroked for Real. Felt good to have my efforts be recognized.
#speculation nation#now if only i could care that much for my web coding class. but oh well im still keeping up even if its a reluctant shamble much of the time#other stuff we talked about was how im graduating this semester & how i plan to stay in indiana to work#bc i have family here & i like the relatively low cost of living. & im not particularly ambitious.#just wanna make enough money to live comfortably. dont need anything fancy beyond that.#& he talked about how that's a good outlook in life. how he's known ppl who went to fuckin silicon valley or whatever#with high paying jobs. but the cost of living is so high that theyre effectively not making much more money than here#he said smth about like. a $70k salary has just as much strength here than a $120k salary there. smth around those#& he praised me on how i seem genuine and hard-working. so he thinks im gonna do just fine in the industry 🥺🥺🥺#i kinda wanted to keep chatting with him but i had to go to bowling class lol. ended up late to it even#bc i checked my phone for the time while chatting and went Oh Fuck bc it wss 1 min after the class started hfkshfks had to rush off then#but yeah makes me feel very nice about that class. i think it rly is my favorite class this semester.#web programming is pretty rewarding and im glad im taking it. but i was basically a complete newbie in html css and javascript#so ive spent quite a lot of time wanting to tear out my fucking HAIR over these labs. b4 it clicks and im like Haha yayy :3#i like C programming bc it's just so much more logical and regimented. it IS the language that got me to give up my engineering degree#since i was thinking about computer engineering. took my first coding class freshman year. and went 'i love this. i want to do CS now'#didnt do that obviously. but im happy where ive ended up. i wouldnt wanna be a programmer lol#and then my quality engineering in IT class. it's certainly engaging. it's the class i constantly have presentations in tho#had Another one this morning. blah! good to keep in practice but i still dont rly enjoy public speaking lmao#probably the most work intensive of my classes. interesting but Blegh#C programming i just keep up with the labs and do the exams and it's wonderful... so logical and comforting...#oh yeah web programming i also have a few presentations. also gotta fucking. code my project pages by next week 😭😭😭#i think it's just the html and css? no javascript yet. thank god. javascript is by far the hardest to learn#but css is so finicky too!!!! ive been struggling with trying to move these fucking input boxes around#i wanna have them on the right!! but they wont go there!!! gotta poke at it more. at least i managed to finish building the form.#still have to finish the lab tho. that was due 2 days ago. lol. also have another one due sunday. AND the project pages. gah!!!#they havent even graded the wireframes yet. i wanted their feedback b4 proceeding to coding >:( oh well#anyways yeah..im keeping busy lol
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(I'm @humbly-a-doppelganger it's just that I can't send an ask from an account that's not my main)
I LOVE LUCINA ALREADY. She sounds so so so cool, no wonder she's your favourite (?). Also also, I can already tell her relationship with Marius is incredibly fun to write (and a bit of unsolicited advice, maybe see if there's an existing monarchy that allows for cousins to be princes/princesses? I think that's the case for the British monarchy--look up Michael of Kent)
What's your wip?
(Also I think I'm the only aroace writer who actually loves writing romance? Sure, I started my book when I didn't think I was either asexual nor aromantic, and my romances are very very very slow burn, as in they only kiss 2k pages in, but I like exploring that type of dynamic from a safe distance--in real life I'm a bit of a relationship hater though lol)
I glad you like Lucina!!
with the whole monarchy thing, its not super worked out right now many because I LOVE making things harder for myself and I over think everything. 😭basically the setting is based on our world (and only eurasia & africa) but its not 1 to 1, partially because of the fantasy elements (there like god/goddess-like figures that gift people magic more or less) and they've affected history significantly. I haven't really put a lot of thought of what the upper classes/nobility look like yet (like is there Dukes? idk) but it does exist and is heavily influenced by who has magic. I just need to sit down and figure out how exactly it differs from our world, and that didn't really occur to me as something I need to do that until I was writing up Marius's little summary tbh.
Their family is also a bit of a special case, since they all get their powers from the Moon God/Guardian/Spirit/whatever I end up calling them. basically who gets magic is basically a game of chance or comes down to weird parameters the Gods establish and they all go about it differently; with the Moon Guardian, he blesses any baby born on the night of the full moon. as a way to control who's born (& therefore gets magic), anyone going into labour is given a herb that delays birth but its not 100% effective so the babies that are born are believed to deserve their magic because they fought for it. most powerful families do get around having the herb but in Marius and Lucina's family everyone is born on the full moon and nobody really knows how they manage it.
my wip is basically non existent rn because i spent all my time just thinking about it rip. but I do want to make an effort to write some shorter episodes about different characters this year because I feel like that will force me to actually make decisions. with the picrews, they kinda force me to actually think about what colour their hair is and choose something and I hope to do the same with worldbuilding/dynamics/backstory etc. plus then I'll have something that I can then build off of that not vague ideas tumbling around in my head for years on end.
also I don't mind writing romance either! i find it really fun to write, and creates different dynamics and whatnot. its just not my default ig? like with some books it something feels like they approach it with romance in mind first and everything else second, and that's just not how my brain works lol. it feels like i have to deliberately think about romance a lot of the time because otherwise I just absentmindedly leave it off to the side. its been happening with my beauty and the beast retelling too which... is a very famous love story I fear. i would not be surprised if when I do eventually write the first draft one of the major fixes i have to make is adding in more romantic elements because in the moment of writing i forgot about them 😭😭
#bella talks#hahahax30#another thing about romance is its fun to play with expections of it#because while my wip might be in shambles i am fully planning to straight bait sophie and marius for funnies
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Patti LuPone knew what tf she was doing because when I fell you that I had -1000% interest in ever even watching a trailer for that Agatha Marvel show until she revealed it’s a musical…
#you got me marvel damn you for appealing to my craving for musicals#patti lupone#but knowing how marvel is lowkey in shambles#rn I’m sure this entire interaction was 100% planned
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Intentionally shattering a city’s health system so you can go on murdering civilians peacefully knowing there would be no doctors and no tools to save them is the most evil kind of genocide I’ve ever seen.
Honestly, the existence of Hellfire is necessary and completely justified. I can’t wait for these criminals to wake up next to Pharaoh and Hitler.
#palestinian genocide#I’m speechless#my mental state is in shambles I can’t even focus on anything else#This is GENOCIDE PLANNED AND EXECUTED#and FUNDED BY THE US#end israeli apartheid#israeli war crimes#israeli terrorism#ethnic cleansing
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Small Incendiary Update:
T-minus 24 hours until Chapter 10 of Incendiary drops!
I've made some dialogue edits and added additional scenes in Chapter 10 that makes this chapter bump up to 9.4k words from it's previous 8.4k, oops sorry not sorry. :) But that definitely makes this chapter tie almost neck to neck with the longest chapter in Incendiary so far, that title taken by Chapter 3 at a whopping 9.5k words!
Let this make up for the fact that I may not be releasing Chapter 11 for some time, since it's still very much in the rough draft phase of writing and I'm still writing the beginning part of it. By some time, that I'm not really sure of. It entirely depends on how soon I manage to get a new job, or not. It may be a month, it may be a few weeks. But as of right now, I'm actively writing Chapter 11 during my downtime every day!
If I have a feeling that it might take a while to release, I may drop a teaser here on tumblr for you guys to read as an early sneak peak so you aren't left completely high and dry, cause I know how that feels being a reader too. And I love all of y'all. <3 Thanks for reading this update!
#I'm already losing track of the days y'all oh my god like I nearly forgot tomorrow was next chapter release day already LOL#everything has been putting my brain in a blender with job hunting and planning to move across the state when I DO get a job#going from a decent paying technical support wfh job to suddenly applying for grocery stores again in the same month is !!! very much sad#I had an interview with Trader Joe's having worked there before but still have yet to get a callback for the second interview#callbacks would get sent out Monday the latest they said#no replies yet but my application online still says in process so hoooooplease fingers crossed for me :')#ty guys so much for supporting me during these trying times ILY ALL <333#even when my life is in shambles I still have Incendiary
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