#my shitty kids...
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latepivi · 7 months ago
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happy au i don't know her
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boygirlctommy · 6 months ago
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this one goes out to all the dead bush lovers
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morganbritton132 · 7 months ago
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Eddie, on a live-stream: When did you stop believing the big guy?
Steve: …God?
Eddie: Santa.
Steve: Oh, uh. I don’t know, I was pretty young though.
Eddie:
Eddie: I forgot who I was talking to. Did your parents tell you Santa wasn’t real?
Steve: No! They weren’t evil. They just made sure I knew what they got me so Santa never came to my house.
Steve: It’s funny actually because I thought I was just a bad kid for a long time.
Steve:
Steve: *realizing that actually kinda sad*
Steve: Santa ever come to the trailer park?
Eddie: Every year.
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sp0o0kylights · 1 month ago
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“Alienate.” Flo mutters, the first thing Phil Callahan hears when he enters the station. “No, that's eight letters. Darn.” 
“How’s the crossword, Miss Flo?” He asks, as he always asks, every morning. 
It’s part of a little routine he’s established with their doting receptionist, partly out of boredom, mostly because she sometimes asks him for help.  
If there’s one thing Phil enjoys doing, it’s helping.
(It’s why he became a cop, after all.)
“Hi, hun. I’m stuck.” Flo responds, staring down at the New York Times spread out before her. 
It’s a quiet Friday morning and a quick glance at the open and dark-empty office of the Chief says the man’s not in yet, and so Callahan rounds the big wooden desk to stare at the puzzle over Flo’s shoulder. 
“Which one?” He asks, seeing most of it’s already been filled out. 
Flo jabs a finger at the offending clue, her nails painted a light pastel blue. “Pushed away through inattention.” She reads dutifully, then traces her finger to the blank section of the crossword, tapping at it. “Nine letter word.” 
Phil cocks his head, thinks it through. 
“It wasn’t alienate.” Flo says, non-helpfully. 
“Ignored?” Phil tries.
“That’s seven letters.” 
They both stare down at the puzzle, the black and white squares taunting them. 
“Neglected.” Phil says suddenly, triumphant. “It has to be neglected--the word has to end with a D to make sense in the puzzle. See?” 
One of two words that crosses over with their missing piece is ‘abandoned’, which fits nicely with the apparently gloomy theme of today’s crossword. 
“Doesn’t work with the other word that goes through it though.” Flo points out, defeating the proud little glow that had been building in Phil’s head. 
The other bisecting word is ‘isolated’, making him wonder if the puzzlemaker is in the middle of a rough divorce. 
(Or maybe just a rough day, and he’s the one projecting…) 
“Well, hell.” Phil grumbles, staring down at it. 
“Try estranged!” Powell calls as he passes by with a mug full of coffee. 
Flo carefully pencils in ‘estranged’ and makes a pleased noise when it fits. 
“Thank you, hun!” She calls, and Phil huffs at himself for not seeing it, but also refuses to let Powell’s one upping ruin his day.
The man himself offers their receptionist a smile, before tossing a casual reprimand Phil’s way.  
“Callahan, get to work, would you?” 
“Yeah, yeah, smartypants.” He says, going to fetch his own cup of coffee. “Save the bitching for the Chief.” 
Powell rolls his eyes at him, and Callahan makes a face back, and the two of them go on to have a very boring, small town cop sort of day--right until a legitimate call finally comes in. 
Well.
Sort of. 
“The Harrington residence is having a too-loud party again.” Hopper says, having finally shown up sometime between nine and noon. “Drunk teenagers are throwing up in people’s lawns.” 
“It’s not even dark yet.” Powell mutters, staring at the clock as if he couldn’t imagine a party taking place before 8 pm. 
“Teenagers don’t care about that shit, that’s why they’re getting the cops called on them.” Hopper snips back. He’d been in a mood all day, and not the fun, jolly kind. 
“Come on Callahan, let’s go remind Harrington Jr. that it’s his daddy that owns this department, not him.”
“I wish you wouldn’t joke about that.” Phil says as he follows Hopper out the door, waving goodbye to Flo as he goes. “People are going to think you’re serious.” 
(Sometimes, Phil thinks as he swings into the patrol truck, that Hopper is serious. 
That they are being paid to look the other way. 
Then he takes a sip of their god-awful coffee and hears Hopper’s ancient truck cough to life, and figures, if anyone was getting cash here, there would at least be evidence of it.) 
xXx 
Harrington Jr.’s party isn’t quite the chaotic disaster it was made out to be, though there are a handful of tipsy teenagers stumbling around the lawn.
“One of these idiots is going to drown in that damn pool someday.”  Hopper complains through gritted teeth as he storms up the driveway, kids scrambling into action the second they spot him. 
One loudly screams; “Cops!” and the rest of them scatter, running in so many directions it makes Phil’s head spin. He briefly moves as if to give chase before deciding there’s simply too many to bother. 
(Knows that it’s unlikely they’ll arrest anyone but Harrington tonight, anyway.)
“If the right kid bites it, Dick Harrington might even have to come deal with it personally.” Over his shoulder Hopper tosses Phil a shark’s smile, barging up the porch to bang hard on one of the two front doors. “Wouldn’t that be a sight to see?” 
“No, not really.” Phil says, because he’s thinking about dead teenagers in pools. 
“Also I don’t think Richard likes to be called Dick.” He adds cautiously, just in case the man himself happens to be home. 
It’s unlikely, doubly so given all the drunk minors, but that just means Phil isn’t surprised when it’s not the Vice President of Indiana Corporate Consulting, LLC that opens the door but his son, Steve. 
“Officers.” The kid drawls, shirtless in swim trunks, not a single strand of his perfectly styled hair out of place. “What can I do for you?”
He leans casually in the doorway, as another kid screams out a warning inside. 
“You can cut the shit.” Hopper says. “You know the drill. Turn around and put your hands behind your back.” 
Harrington does neither of those things, instead tilting his head and making a face like he just smelled something foul. 
“I’m not drunk. And anyone who is drunk brought it without telling me. You should go arrest them.” Steve  jams a thumb over his shoulder, pointing at the rapidly emptying house. 
Then he smirks at both of them, every inch the newly crowned King the kids insist on calling him. 
“You think your old man is gonna believe that?” Hopper snarls, infuriated. He never was one that dealt well with teenagers. Or at least, these kinds (and that damn Munson kid, who just loved stealing everybodies lawn flamingos.) 
“I think you’ll find ‘my old man’,” Steve mockinly mimics, “doesn’t care.”
“He will when the neighbors start calling.” Hopper tosses back as Phil pushes past Harrrington Jr. to begin the process of trying to wrangle drunk teenages. “That’s Janet Wilkinson’s prized hydrangeas Hagan’s been throwing up in. You wanna see what happens when she talks to your mother?” 
“She has to get a hold of my mother to talk to her.” Steves snarks, instead of pulling out his usual charm. “Why do you think she called you instead?” 
This isn’t Phil’s first call to the house, but it is the first time Harrington Jr. has been this combative. It’s new, but not exactly unexpected. 
Not when Steve Harrington has been hurtling towards this ever since he started hosting parties. 
“You think your parents won’t care when I call them?”
“Well they haven’t before, so--” 
Phil rolls his eyes as the kid and Hopper trade more barbs, the adult’s growing sharper and sharper as Steve makes a couple of arguments about being held accountable for other people’s actions (and something else about unreasonably high standards and making his own bail.) 
Let's them argue it out as he quickly realizes he will definitely not be catching teenagers, and pivots to scanning for too-drunk stragglers in need of help. 
“Keep running your mouth, Harrington, and I’ll let you cool your heels overnight in a jail cell. That what you want?”
“You already did that, remember? Swore you’d never do it again because I was too annoying.”
“You can’t annoy me if I’m not the one there watching you--” 
Phil tunes out the rising voices, his attention snagging on something else.
The Harringtons’ entryway was sparse, and the rooms beyond weren’t much better. The whole house had the sterile feel of a museum;  untouched and unlived in. 
Not even a swarm of teenagers had managed to leave much of a mark. Or at least, not in these few rooms, anyway. 
Which is what makes the scraggly note stand out.
It’s taped to the wall right above the phone, but slightly askew, like it’d been thought of last-minute. A little crumpled, like someone half-heartedly tried to peel it off before giving up and pressing it back down.
‘Who puts a phone in the entryway?’ Phil wonders, but then, it is the Harrington’s. 
Maybe they need it to find each other in this huge fucking house. 
He leans in to read the note, spotting the bold letters at the bottom informing everyone the entire notepad had been custom ordered for RICHARD HARRINGTON, VP. 
‘Darling,’ beautiful cursive starts, at odds with the footnote, ‘Sorry that we couldn’t get a hold of you. Your father had a business opportunity, you know how important those are. I’ll send you a postcard. Take care of the house, remember that Martha is coming on Wednesdays now to get the dry cleaning. Do something fun for your birthday!’ 
It’s signed XOXO, Muffin. 
Muffin is, of course, Richard Harrington’s wife, and also a walking punchline. Or at least she is when people aren’t tripping over themselves to stay on her good side.
Weird that she signed it as such instead of with ‘Mom’, but then Muffin always has been a bit…much. 
More importantly (besides the fact that they skipped out on their own kids birthday) is the date at the top, which says the note was left Tuesday, March 17th. 
It’s currently the middle of May.
Flo’s crossword springs to mind, each guessed word clicking into place beside Steve’s own, still warm, spoken just moments ago.
Abandoned, and ‘She has to get a hold of my mother to talk to her.’ 
Ignored and ‘I think you’ll find my old man doesn’t care.’ 
A cold realization sweeps through Phil, as he recalls the things they’ve all heard other kids say about Steve. 
No parents. 
Big house. 
Always down for a good time. 
(‘Neglect is the failure to give somebody proper care or attention.’ Powell had argued on their lunch break, as Phil complained that ‘neglected’ fit the stupid crossword better than ‘estranged’ had. 
“Estranged works because it’s when you’re not really talking to someone. Hence the pushing away part. They’re different. Similar! But different.” 
“That’s dumb.” Phil argued back. 
“You’re dumb.” Powell replied, then laughed when Phil gasped in mock offense. “It’s why you’re getting taken to the cleaners in your divorce!”
“Hey man, come on, too far!”
“Sorry, sorry--” ) 
All cop’s develop intuition, even the small town ones, and Phil’s kicks in as he stares at the note. 
Neglected might be a hard sell for a fifteen year old that drives a BMW, but estranged definitely fits the bill. 
(He’s pretty sure neglect does fit the fucking bill no matter how much money the kids parents have, but he’s been on the force long enough to know how these things go.) 
He turns on his heel and marches over, sticking himself right in between his boss and the only remaining teenager. 
“Where are your parents at, again?” He asks, right over whatever point Hopper was butchering. 
“What?” Steve and Hopper both say, before giving the other a look for it. 
“Do you know where your parents are at?” Phil asks again, switching up the wording a little just like they’d taught him in the academy. 
“Uh…No?” Steve says, seeming too startled to lie. “You’d have to call dad’s receptionist.” 
“Okay. And when are they coming back?” 
This time Steve tosses a look at Hopper, like Phil’s the one being weird here. 
“When they get back.” He says, and it’s like he’s trying to still sound tough, to put forth that King persona, but is fumbling a little now that it’s not Hopper who's asking the questions. 
“So you have no idea, at all.” He clarifies, and feels his stomach sink a little. 
“I mean, I could also call dad’s receptionist.” Steve says, like that makes it better.  
“Whose in charge of you while they’re gone?” And yes he knows it’s a stupid question, knows that Steve is fifteen (he thinks, anyway) and is perfectly old enough 
“...I am.” Steve says, right over Hopper’s annoyed; “What the hell, Callahan.” 
“Chief, can I talk to you?” He says, turning to face his boss. 
Hopper stares back at him in disbelief, before making a show of summoning the last of his patience with a loud sigh. 
“You.” He points at Steve. “Sit. Stay.”
“Want me to shake too?” Harrington Jr calls out in an attempt to recover, but Phil’s got a hand on Hopper’s elbow and is dragging the older man away before he can get sucked back in. 
“You better have found something good Callahan.” Hopper warns, as Phil snatches the note on the wall as they pass by. 
“Hopper,” Phil says quietly, leaning in as he pulls Hopper all the way into the kitchen, kicking empty solo cups as he goes. “I don’t think his parents have been home in a while.”
He shoves the note in the Chief’s face. 
“No shit, kid.” Hopper spits, and the nickname sits badly, now that Phil’s heard it spat at Steve the same way. 
(Hopper doesn’t mean it, Phil knows he doesn’t. 
Hopper’s the best boss Phil’s ever had. The guy’s just a little rough sometimes, gets lost in the little things and needs to be brought back down. 
‘He’s got a lot going on, hun, but we’ll get him there.’ Flo says when he’s been really mean, and Phil knows they will, he’s seen it himself, but sometimes he wishes whatever the Chief was healing from would let him go a little faster.) 
He grabs the note, eyes scanning over it, and Phil talks a little faster. 
“No, I mean, look at the date, Chief. They’ve been gone for months.” 
Hopper looks up from the note and gives him the world’s flattest state. “So?”
Phil gapes a little at him. “Isn’t that abandonment?” 
In response, Hopper simply steps more into the kitchen, then throws open a door next to the stove. Reveals a huge, walk-in pantry, piled high with all kinds of food. 
Stands next to it like it’s a party trick he just unveiled. 
“Given the lights are on and that fancy little car of his seems to have gas,  I’d say they’re providing for the kid just fine.” He says crossly. 
Which isn’t wrong exactly, but it’s not right either. 
“Yeah,” Phil protests, “but--” 
“Trust me, things could be a lot worse.” Hopper cuts him off. “Save all the pity for someone who actually needs it, and not a kid whose parents’ lawyers will cut both our balls off for even suggesting they don’t care about their kid.” 
“Harsh, Chief.” Phil mutters, stung. There’s a small, growing voice in his head that says Steve Harrington does kind of need someone.
That a kid, even one as old as Steve is, shouldn’t be left like this. 
“Life’s harsh. Now unless you’re volunteering to watch the kid all night in a cell, I say we call the brat’s parents and this time, we’re gonna hit them with a citation when they get home. See if they ignore that.” 
“Please do!” Steve calls loudly, from where he’s still seated on the couch. “It’ll be funny, trust me.” 
Hopper goes to pinch the bridge of his nose, before glancing sideways at the island counter covered in solo cups and bottles. 
Changes course to pluck an unopened whiskey bottle from the pile, tucking it under his arm. 
Storms back out to whatever the Harrington’s call the room Steve’s in, pausing only to stop in front of him. 
“Hey.” Steve says, spotting the bottle.
Hopper holds it out. “Oh, I’m sorry,  is this yours?” 
Steve’s mouth opens, before he catches Callahan’s shaking head. Thinks better of it, and slams it back closed. 
Grumbles; “No, sir.” 
“Oh it’s sir now, is it?” Hopper says with a snort. “Since you’re so good at eavesdropping, you already know what I’m going to do. Congratulations Harrington, you get out of jail tonight, but,” 
He leans forward, putting himself almost nose to nose with the surely teenager, “I will be making sure that this time, your parents pay attention.” 
Quick as a shot he’s up and out the door, slamming it close behind him like he forgot Phil was there. 
“Good luck!” Steve shouts after him, but it’s clear even he thinks the Chief won their little sparring match. 
“Have your parents really been gone since March?” Phil says when the coast is clear, and watches Steve blink at him like he hadn’t realized the younger officer was still there. 
“Yeah.” Steve says with a shrug, like it’s not a big deal. “Every kid’s dream.” 
It’s not. Even Phil can tell from the way Steve’s face looks just then, that he knows it’s not. 
He doesn’t know what exactly posses him, but the next words out of his mouth are; “You ever get too lonely here, you can stay with me.” 
“What?” Steve says, eyes snapping right to Phil’s face like he misheard him. 
He’s embarrassed for two entire seconds before deciding, fuck it. 
He already offered, he’s not taking it back. 
“It’s a big house, kid. You shouldn’t be alone for that long.” Phil thinks about his impending divorce. On the emptiness of the house, with his soon to be ex wife long gone. How that eats at him, sometimes. Adds;  “No one should be.”  
Harrington Jr. stares at him like he’s lost his mind. “Whatever.” He scoffs, but it’s not quite the waspish tone he’d used before. 
“You ever need help either, you call me.” Phil says, because that seems important to say too. 
He points up at one of the chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, impossibly high over both their heads. “Even if it’s just to hold a ladder to change one of those lightbulbs.” 
Steve’s eyes go up with him then back down, like he’s still not sure this isn’t a joke being played on him. 
“I mean it.” Phil says, right as one of the front doors whips back open. Reaches into the pocket of his uniform, and pulls out his card. “You need me, you call.” 
“Callahan!” Hopper bellows, and Phil calls out a loud; “Coming!” before making eye contact with Steve once more.
“Take it.”  He says, holding out the card, and hopes he sounds like a proper adult when he does. 
(Phil often does not feel like an adult, least of which because he’s the youngest in the department by two decades, nevermind the failed marriage.) 
“Okay.” Steve says dismissively, but he reaches out.
Takes the card.
It feels like a victory and Phil lets it be one as he leaves the Harrington residence and Steve behind with it. Feels the rot of that be soothed by the fact he at least did something. 
(Also see’s Hopper didn’t wait for him, but is instead sitting in the driver’s seat of the truck. 
Knows his boss is gonna be pissed at him, but faces the noose anyway.) 
“Puppies are expensive.” The Chief tells him darkly, the second Phil opens the door. “And they shit all over the floor.”
“What?” He asks, not always used to his bosses nonsensical ramblings. 
He eyes the thermos the Chief’s holding, and wonders if already dumped the whiskey he stole in it. 
They all thought the Chief had been getting better, but maybe not… 
“Puppies,” Hopper stressed, jamming the hand holding the thermos in Phil’s face (no liquor smell, thank God.) “who have very rich owners, are typically well cared for, even if their idea of care and your idea are different.” 
Phil’s face contorts in confusion, eyes following Hopper’s finger pointed middle finger to the fading tail lights of Steve’s BMW. 
It takes him a second, but he gets there.
“Steve isn’t a puppy.” He says instantly offended, because teenagers and puppies are very, very different, thanks, and yes okay, he knows it’s a metaphor, but it’s a stupid one. 
“Acts like one.” Hopper says, before taking a noisy sip of the thermos. 
“He really doesn’t?” 
Phil wants to say he complains right back at his boss, but really it comes out as more of a question--because Steve Harrington has never acted like a dog. The kid’s not clingy, or whiny or even loud. 
He’s a kid, sure, a teenager that’s obnoxious, but aren’t all teenagers that way, by default?
Phil’s mother certainly said so, though she’d been teasing about it. 
(She also said something about how kids who can’t get what they need the right way, will revert to trying out the wrong ways instead.) 
“Whatever. Just don’t come running to me when you get too close and Mommy and Daddy show up to remind you it’s none of your business.”
Hopper starts the cruiser, expecting that to be that.
And normally it would be. Phil would leave it alone, even if he disagreed, but today he finds he can’t. 
Not when the words from Flo’s crossword are still haunting his head, ‘abandoned’ and ‘neglected’ and ‘pushed away’ lighting up like little warning signs, all pointing towards one very sad kid. 
“If they come back.” He finds himself saying. 
“Oh, they always come back.” Hopper snorts right back. “Just not when any of us ever want them too.” 
Phil doesn’t like that answer, but this time he does leave it alone. 
Figures the best he can do for Steve is what he already did. Let him know he saw him. Let him know he understood. 
If Steve needs someone, he now knows Phil will come. 
He won’t let anyone make him feel bad for offering that, either, because this is the exact thing he signed up to do, when he became a cop. 
Even if Harrington never reaches out to him, at least Phil can say he did something. At least he can live with himself. 
xXx
Weeks go by.
A month.
Two months and more.
By a year Phil has kind of forgotten about his promise to Steve Harrington, and by the time the Chief has gotten them all involved in some kind of--poisoned pumpkin patch problem, he’s too caught up in trying to figure out what the hell is going on in Hawkins to really think about it. 
That is, until the kid himself shows up on his doorstep, with a black eye and a hand hugging his ribs. 
Which would be concerning on its own, but it’s worse given that known lawn flamingo thief and constant pain in the police department’s ass, Eddie Munson, is right there with him. 
“Hi Officer Callahan.” Munson says, and he, Phil quickly realizes, looks perfectly fine, despite clearly being the only reason Steve seven on his feet. “Uh…Harrington said I should take him here?” 
He does not sound certain, and frankly, looks two seconds from bolting.
Given how much Steve is bleeding on him, Phil can’t blame him for it. 
“What the hell.” He says, shocked and loose tongued for it. “Did you two get in a fight!?” 
“No!” Munson yelps, then immediately stills when the act of it jostles Steve. “I found him like this. He was fucking trying to drive and was weaving all over the place--I got him to stop, and get in my van, but the only thing he’ll say is that I needed to bring him to you!” 
Like it wasn’t bad enough the chief had been out of contact all night or that there had been weird people swarming all over town, nevermind all those damn phone calls about loose dogs and--
“You said.” Steve interrupts Phil’s spiraling thoughts, voice sounding oddly strangled, and he'd pay more attention to that if he wasn’t finding new and concerning injuries every second he looked. 
“You said I could go to you, for help. If I needed it. Cause Hopper--Hopper’s busy,” Steve’s slurring, Phil realizes and oh god a lot of that blood is on his head, “An’ I didn’t want the kids to worry, but I think…i was wrong, I don’t--I think I’m…I don’t wanna be ‘lone--”  
“Okay, okay.” Phil reaches out, tries to take Steve’s weight off of Munson. “Get in here. You too, Munson.” 
Expects the latter to protest and is a little surprised to watch as the kid instead helps Steve hobble inside. 
“Put him on the couch while I get my first aid kit.” Phil orders, trying not to panic and failing. He has first aid training--more than, actually, because he took it as an elective back when he thought he was going to go to medical school, but that was years ago and Steve looks like he went head first through a blender. 
‘Stabilize him now, panic later.’ He orders himself, as Munson settles both of them down on the couch. 
“Am I dying?” Steve asks vaguely, to Munson’s increasingly panicked face. 
“Nope.” Phil says, voice as firm as he can make it. “Not today.” 
He comes over, looking over Steve once again 
“You staying Munson?” He asks, more an out for the kid than anything else. 
Watches as the older teen clocks that for what it is. 
See’s Steve unintentionally lean into his chest, breathing a little weird. 
“No man, you’re going to need an extra hand.” Eddie says. “I’m staying right here.” 
“Me too.” Steve slurs nonsensically.
“What the hell, me too.” Phil says, just to lighten the mood a little. 
Then he drops to his knees and goes about stabilizing Steve. 
(At some point Munson decides to help tell his latest flamingo heist story. Phil let him, even if no one had realized he’d pulled off another one again.
He got Steve to laugh, so Phil figures it was worth it, at least. ) 
Part Two
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dotted-clouds · 2 months ago
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Playing Higurashi for the first time as of recent, finished up onikakushi-hen episode and had to draw this.
Mion transferring her period cramps onto Keiichi 💔
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bowelfly · 4 months ago
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what are your thoughts on your predecessor, Gary Larson
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big fan, obviously
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bougiebutchbinch · 5 months ago
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I know it was bad and I know it was child abuse but it's still so funny to me that Yondu stole a child, experienced Cuteness Aggression, and told Peter he was so adorable he was gonna eat him. Only Peter (a traumatised and terrified eight-year-old, freshly abducted by aliens) thought he meant it. And Yondu thought that was fucking hilarious so he kept up the 'joke' for thirty years -
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mediumgayitalian · 5 months ago
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A whisp of hair tickles his cheek, following the elbow resting on his shoulder. Lee glances over as Cass swipes the strands back behind her ear.
“So,” she says, very nearly dropping her plate. Lee reaches over and gently tilts it back upright. His sister Does Not notice.
He lets it fall. She doesn’t notice that, either. Rest in peace, Stale Piece of Olive Bread, Single Grape, and Sprig of Parsley (?). You will be missed.
“So,” Lee repeats. He follows her eyes, gaze landing on a frizzy mess of blond curls and vacant blue eyes. “…Ah. So.”
Cass’s fork twirls in the general direction of their new baby brother. Several other people in line at the braziers also look over to where she’s pointing, glance obviously back towards the two of them, leaning close, and then pretend to look away while very clearly straining to hear. What a place, Camp Half-Blood.
“We gotta fix that.”
Lee grunts. She’s right — rarely does he ever see a kid Will’s age so blasé and sad about camp for so long.
But.
The circumstances.
“We already talked to Luke, Cass.”
She waves a hand. Her fork very nearly misses his eye. Lee would like, for once, if she could maybe use perhaps one ounce of her prophetic abilities to be less of a klutz. “Eh, Luke doesn’t know everything. There’s gotta be something he didn’t try, something Will likes. I mean, I think I saw the barest little hint of a smile when Diana was cussing Michael out yesterday.”
“Achlys would smile at that,” Lee argues. “I mean, come on. He got flamed. It was embarrassing.”
“Fair, fair.”
Lee looks back at Will. He still sits at the edge of the Apollo picnic table, chin on the worn-smooth wood, poking vaguely at the food Diana got for him. There’s a decent spread — some of the roast chicken, some of the lemon potatoes, probably more vegetables than any eight year old would be willing to eat, but it’s not like they would know. Will barely eats anything. If it weren’t for the Twizzlers that keep disappearing from Lee’s stash under the floorboards, he would’ve stuck the kid on an IV already. It’s been weeks.
“We could maybe try the weapons rounds again,” Cass murmurs. “I know Luke did it on intake, but maybe —”
She glances over, peeking through the edge of her hair, and cuts herself off, mouth furrowing as she bites the inside of her cheek. The son of Hermes in question leans on one of his younger siblings, grinning as they shriek and complain, laughing as another kid empties out what looks like the entire camp stash of cutlery from her pockets. Lee’s not dumb — he saw the difference, too. There’s no demigod more kind and welcoming and determined than Luke Castellan, Lee knows it, Lee’s experienced it, but —
When Will came up Half-Blood Hill, he was sobbing. He scratched four other demigods trying to squirm his way back to where his mother was running back to her car, shoulders heaving with her own cries, face-tear streaked and laden with guilt as she watched him go. When Will was dragged to the Big House, he was there ‘til nightfall. When Will was placed, as all are, in Hermes, he didn’t leave the cabin for days.
Camp doesn’t usually see that. Luke doesn’t usually see that. And as much as the guy has seen everything, there’s nothing he can handle less than a demigod who desperately wants to go home.
It’s not something anyone brings up.
“We’ll give it a go after dinner,” Lee agrees.
It’s not a lot, but it’s better than nothing. It might help to get a tour of what Camp offers by someone a little more…qualified. Or enthusiastic, rather. Will’s eight, after all. What kind of eight-year-old doesn’t want to swing a real sword at a training dummy? Or, hell, at another eight-year-old? Not that there are many other eight-year-olds at camp this lovely April, but Annabeth is like…ten. Lee thinks. Eleven? Something like that. Maybe she’ll swing a sword around with the kid. She only tends to be lethal when someone is doubting her. She’ll probably be very lenient on someone who is just learning.
Well.
Like, one would hope.
Whatever. It’ll sort itself out.
He repeats it to himself as he sits down, plastering a wide smile on his face and meeting Will’s eyes. Will stares back, eyes big and dead, but Lee refuses to look away first, to look down. Eventually Will return his gaze to the brown mush he’s made out of his plate.
“Hi,” he hedges.
“Hey, kiddo.”
Will hums. From beside him, Diana sighs — that is the extent of what they usually get. A little more, actually. The hi was slightly more animated than usual. More like a single two-by-four than a rotting corpse, in terms of spirited greetings.
If Lee is anything, though, it’s annoying and persistent. It’s actually what led to his getting claimed last winter.
“You get something to drink?”
Will shrugs. Lee glances into his cup to see that he has not, in fact, gotten anything to drink.
“They’re enchanted, you know.” He taps his own cup. “Anything you ask for, you get. I get Green Apple Kool-Aid.”
“‘Cus you’re a freak,” Michael mutters. Lee shoves him off the table.
Will scrunches his nose. “…Enchanted cups?”
The look he levels in Lee’s direction is equivalent, he imagines, to the look the jury gave OJ Simpson on his first foray of the witness stand, but the allure of discontinued novelty drinks must be stronger than his suspicion, because he tilts his cup closer to him, thinks for a minute, and then says, “Coke.”
All three of them hold their breath. Even Michael, who is recovering from his recent trip to the ground. The cup slowly fills with sparkling amber liquid.
Will frowns.
“Hey,” he says, something akin to a pout taking over his face, “I asked for coke.”
The drink stops fizzing. It, too, seems to regard the young boy in confusion.
“That would indeed be Coke,” Diana says eventually.
Will scowls. (It is, probably unfortunately for him, a little bit adorable, because his cheeks are very pudgy and he has quite a lot of freckles and his whole face seems to scrunch with the movement. Like a baby hippo. Lee tries really very hard not to smile but it’s something of a losing battle, he thinks.)
“It gave me cola!”
Lee looks at Cass. Cass looks at Lee. Cass looks at Michael, then, and Lee looks at Diana, and they all kind of look at each other and envision the words what the fuck floating between them in wavy comic sans.
“That would be the case,” tries Michael. Lee can see that he tries very hard not to tack ‘you dumbass’ on the end there. Lee pats him on the shoulder in recognition for his efforts.
“I asked for coke!”
“Okay, let’s maybe back up a bit,” Cass thankfully says, before Lee can utter his very eloquent ‘huh’. “What are you asking for, hun?”
“Coke!”
“No, I — I, uh, I got that part.” She purses her lips very thoughtfully. “Are you thinking of, maybe, Diet Coke?”
“No! Regular orange coke!”
“Okay,” mutters Diana. “Okay, awesome, I love it when everything makes sense.”
“Orange coke!” insists Will again. And, like, yeah, they brought this on themselves. When Lee scraped off a portion of his food and prayed for more emotion from Will, he did not specify. He was under the unfortunate misconception that his father loved him and was not a sociopathic genie. That’s on him. But still. “The fruity one! With the orange lid an’ the F on the bottle an’ not the one with no bubbles! The coke one!”
“Are you thinking maybe of Fanta?” Cass says, finally. She makes a weird shape with her fingers. “Odd bottle shape? Neon?”
“Yes!” exclaims Will, visibly relieved. “The orange coke! The good one!”
The cup quickly ripples and changes into a liquid the approximate colour of their shirts, only harder to look at. Will narrows his eyes, drags it over, dips his tongue into it, and then lights up, chugging it down with the zeal and zest Aphrodite kids do cranberry juice.
“One thing they got right up here,” he says happily, wiping the sticky moustache off his top lip. He, for the first time, looks a little less like there is a giant aching hole in the centre of him.
All at once, Lee remembers the one time his mother took him with her to one of her conferences, deep down in Arkansas. They stopped for Wendy’s on the drive. Lee requested Coke. The cashier asked ‘what kind’. Lee stared blankly at her for a total of at least seventeen solid seconds before replying ‘uh, the…Coke…kind?’ and received a large disappointing cup of Sprite.
“Oh my gods,” he says. He now knows, he feels, at least an approximation of the shock Phaethon felt that one time. “You’re Texan.”
None of his siblings share in the euphoria of this realization. This eureka moment, really. Least of all Will, who seems to be wondering if he can, perhaps, put in a request to be claimed by another god with smarter children.
“Lee,” says Cass gently, “have you gotten dumber?”
“No, no, he’s Texan,” Lee repeats. “They’re like. They say weird shit down there.” He gestures at Will, who is rapidly shifting from bewildered to offended. Lee would feel bad if it wasn’t a little bit funny. “Coke means pop. Fixin’ means intending. Might could — actually, I’m not sure what might could means, and at this point I’m too afraid to ask.”
“It means might could!” Will cries. He throws his hands up in exasperation which would be better conveyed where his hands not still pudgy enough to have the little indents on the knuckles. Lee melts to the actual floor. “That’s like askin’ — askin’ what ‘the’ means! It means ‘the’!”
“Oh my gods,” breathes Diana, hand pressed to her mouth. “Oh my gods, he’s adorable.”
“What does ‘might could’ mean, he says! Nex’ thing I’mma hear’s gonna be some stupid Yank quest’n ‘bout y’all, I bet —”
There is a thump as Michael slides right off the bench. This time, Lee doesn’t even need to push him.
“Yank,” he wheezes, from the floor. There are real tears in his eyes. “You’re my favourite, kid, holy fuck —”
Will stomps his little foot. It’s so — tiny. Bite sized. The lights in the sole twinkle like crazy. He’s got Princess Leia on the heels.
Lee is going to melt into goo.
“Who authorized him to be this goddamn cute,” Lee whisper-yells. “Like, genuinely. Look at him.
“Believe me, I’m looking,” Cass says, smiling softly. She knocks their shoulders together, snorting as Will chokes on his own indignity, hollering something about and there’s no such thing as healthy brisket! how about that! til’ his freckly face glows.
“Oh, wait, shit, that’s real,” Lee says. “That’s — yo, he’s actually bioluminescing. Are you seeing this? I am seeing this.”
“Didn’t know that was something we could do,” Diana comments. She grabs her cup, empties it into Michael’s (making a truly — truly — rank concoction of milk and Mountain Dew, Lee physically recoils) and stares at it until it refills.
“Hey, Glowstick.”
Will freezes. The most affronted look Lee has ever seen on a child scrunches his squishy face. Cass coos. Michael starts cackling again.
“Who are you talking to,” Will demands, scowling.
Diana looks at him. She raises her eyebrows.
“You tell me, Johnny Storm.”
“That’s a — that’s a bad reference!”
“Just — here.” Diana slides over the cup before Will can get started again. “Here’s your coke, kid.”
Will squints at the cup for several seconds. Diana holds it out dutifully. Well, for a dutiful seven seconds before her arm gets tired, then she sets it down and moves her hand away.
“Mama says I’m not allowed two cokes in a row,” he says finally.
Lee glances over at Cass. She grimaces back.
Here we go.
Diana just blinks.
“What does your Mama say about throwing stones at people named Clarisse from the roof of the Big House?”
“She never mentioned.”
“Well, we’re allowed to do that here. The rules say you can have two cokes, too, if you want.”
Will screws up his face. He gnaws on his bottom lip. Lee holds his breath.
Finally, he takes the tiniest of little sips.
“I guess two cokes is kind of nice,” he says.
Lee smiles. He reaches over, paying close attention in case Will’s a biter — you never know at Camp Half-Blood — and ruffles the kid’s frizzy curls.
“Some good things about camp, huh?”
Will huffs. “It’s still not great.” He sets his cup down. His soda moustache sits at a firm handlebar. Cass muffles a snort in her hands. “But not bad for a bunch of Yanks.”
Lee decides that he will take that. A stubborn, sarcastic Will is better than a miserable one. They got time. They’ll get there.
Plus, when Michael takes a mindless sip of his Surprise Concoction and sprays it all over Diana’s face, hacking and cussing up a storm, Will even smiles.
Yeah. They might even get there soon.
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kasspergh · 6 months ago
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doodles I never posted
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ihateswansmorethananything · 2 months ago
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What the hell did I just make
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pilalaphillip · 1 month ago
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My boy Brayden, I'm obsessed with him, he is THE big sibling.
Him holding all his younger siblings and then being held:(
I love them sm aaahhggg
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emloafs · 10 months ago
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we may watch the same show but i watch it gayer
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Me to my brain: oH my FUCKING god I KNOW she's hot please for the love of all that is holy LET ME LIVE
my brain: LOOK AT HER SMIRK. LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT IT FUCKING LOOK YOURE NOT LOOKIN YOU BITCH--
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chibifox2002 · 4 months ago
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Clown to Clown Communication
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spoopdeedoop · 2 years ago
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got lazy and didn’t render this properly but
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pilalaphillip · 2 months ago
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Does anyone else had big bed privilege when getting sick as kids or is it a my family thing?
(Ngl, I still get big bed privilege whenever I get sick at 21-soon-to-be-22 years old)
Also, I've been drawing a lot of JayVik taking care of some of the kids when they get sick, I have no idea where the inspiration came from.
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