#need a sounding board for this stuff sometimes ... never shared or planned any on main bc i hate not Having the full stuff thought out but

[3416]

what 1634 fics do you want to see. im not gonna write them im just curious

hello anon......... there are far too many i want to see in this world (literally any at all tbh) but conceptually i have rambled in private about a couple that i really want so buckle up... here are some cliche concepts but idc:

okay my ultimate dream fic is like a 50k fic canon compliant to this point like a decade into the future where auston's been forced to retire a few years earlier bc of a career ending knee injury and never wins the cup and basically. retreats back to az and has to cope with that and gets a Lot of distance from the team/hockey media yada yada. mitch keeps playing hockey but the leafs never win the cup and mitch never feels as fulfilled as he thinks he should be. he never has kids (could go into things here....)... separates w steph.... is on the verge of retiring himself...... the catalyst for him showing up in arizona could be a lot of random things (abt to sign divorce papers... announcing his own retirement soon... also had a whole concept of one of their dads passing away but.) but cue the reunion with someone who you built your whole younger self and younger dreams around and having to relearn the person they've become now. mitch escaping the only place he's ever really called home to really try to feel fully comfortable with himself for the first time vs auston seeing the merging of his old life and his new reality................. i mean. that's the dream. idk. post hockey life crisis with people you can't help but love forever tbh. i have rambled about variations of this one for hours before.

i'm also dying for an auston pornstar fic with a clueless like. business bro mitch or smth. everyone has done the cam boy mitch stuff thanks to his streaming but what about auston... what about these pictures... it's giving casting couch....... i don't really care about the plot necessarily... could go w mitch and auston sleeping together n then befriending each other but NOT sleeping together again for a while. could just straight up do pwp, idk, but auston's whole sleaze ball vibe sometimes.. and the mustache..... we deserve pornstar auston.

also desperate for some magical realism au where one of them makes a deal with the devil to get the team a stanley cup but it goes HORRIBLY awry bc things are never what they seem when you're making deals like that. don't have the details ironed out enough in my head to give a real plan here without sounding stupid but i want the angst and pain and realizing their priorities might not be The Ultimate Hockey Goal like they've always thought.

i've also thought about a lot about a more pwp fic where mitch and auston have this calculated shared ritual of like. getting the new guys on the team/new lineys off to ~help the chemistry~. the whole oh it's just bros thing, but mitch and auston tackling it as a team, one whispering in the ear.. one sinking to his knees... a biiit skeezy bc some of these guys would never in a million years wanna sleep with guys but they pose it like it's gonna help the team and it's just smth they do... don't you wanna feel powerful and see cocky number one goal scorer in the league am34 on his knees for you, random newcomer (haha) 4th liner???

also. thought about another magical realism fic where auston and mitch are at mitch's lakehouse high as fuck and accidentally have a wishbaby bc they're TRYING to manifest success for the team and wish on a star with the wrong wording.... also had a batshit au planned vaguely based on the hangover for mitch's bachelor party which COULD involve vgk crossover since i would set it in vegas for the vibes but.

also had an f1 fic idea where mitch was a driver and auston was one his mechanics. there was way more to this one, but realistically i'd take anything with that as a concept. mitch's life being in auston's hands to some degree and auston taking it Very seriously. also mitch treating his wins like its this shared thing and. auston is just one of tens of people who work on his car but thats his fucking GUY!! imagining mitch getting on the podium n trying to jump at the barriers to get to auston and his whole team.......... pls. also had bunts as one of the guys who changes the wheels and picturing the team letting bunts run the some of the socials. they would be fucking off in that garage BIG TIME filming themselves doing stupid silly shit in all the downtime. also. thinking abt the element of having a Secret relationship or situationship in a setting SO public like f1...... could prob turn that one into a multimedia au somehow, ANYWYA---

i've thought abt so many more too lol. this is what i let myself sit here and spew for the hour but. i'm always down to talk about more or if other ppl have ideas and need to flesh them out. i love to yap abt these men.

[cowboyshit]

PART THREE OF ?

Previously: one, two Ship: Hangman Adam Page x Female OC (Hazel Baker) x Matt Jackson Summary: Rodeo/Cowboy AU - And just like that, fate has brought Hazel back to none other than Adam Page. Though last time they’d crossed paths he’d seemed eager to be rid of her company, Adam confesses the truth in his feelings for her and admits that he hasn’t forgotten her this entire time they’ve been apart. But now Hazel has serious feelings for Adam’s close friend, Matt... yet even she can’t deny that she has an indescribable connection with Adam that just can’t be ignored. Rating: explicit Length: 30,074 words Warnings: unprotected sex x2, angst, characters being idiots and not communicating their feelings properly... oh also probably some gratuitous horse knowledge no one cares about. you know, the usual.

author’s note: I wanted to get out this next part out as a holiday gift for all you amazing people who have been so encouraging about this series. I honestly can’t tell you how much your comments mean to me and how much pride and joy I feel at every little like or reblog or interaction with this fic series. At the start of 2020 I told myself this would be the year I finally wrote something that got to 50k words. I am proud to say with this installment Starlight is currently at 68k words, surpassing my goal. Hell, maybe it’s taken me an entire year to write it, but still, I did it! Now my next goal for 2021? Actually finish a story for once - this story. I have the outline planned and I can’t begin to explain to all of you how much your support and encouragement keeps me going to get the rest of this story out there. Anyways! Long note out of the way, I just want to sincerely thank you guys for your support of this fic series. It really means the world to me. Oh also - yeah... things are about to get VERY messy in this fic.

He hadn’t stopped thinking about her.

Four months. Sixteen weeks. After barely an evening of talking, if even. After inches away from a kiss, never quite knowing what that touch would have felt like. Something told him – kept telling him – it would have been life-changing. Some nights he was grateful he didn’t know; some nights it tormented his sleep, left him kicking and twisting as he turned this way and that, grunting in irritation as he wished sleep would be a reprieve from her memory.

Prone to worrying, there were times he wondered if he was building her up into something she wasn’t. Maybe she wasn’t as pretty as he remembered her being. A soft, round face; brown eyes that he could almost guarantee must be covered by a film of gold in the sunlight; silky, dark brown hair that made his fingers itch like mad to curl around and comb through; a body that begged for his palms to frame the natural pinch of her hips; a smile that made him catch his breath, that made him feel like the leading man in one of those old romance movies his mama used to watch.

No, she was beautiful, though it wasn’t her physical beauty that clung her to his memory. It was that feeling of being with someone he suddenly wasn’t afraid to talk with, who he willingly found himself opening up to before he remembered he hated opening up to people. The way he couldn’t stop smiling every time their eyes met, as though their souls shared a secret.

Maybe she would have stopped haunting him, were it not nearly every weekend he heard her name. He should have been prepared for the consequence of bowing out to Matt’s interest in her, but he wasn’t. Couldn’t be. Nothing like this had ever happened to him. As Matt talked about her at the rodeos with his brother, with Kenny, it was nothing pointed or directed specifically at Adam. If anything, it seemed Matt forgot altogether there’d been an energy between Hazel and Adam, and Nick seemed to never broach the subject of how close Adam had been with her when he found them.

But sometimes when Matt laughed on the phone with her after a run, and Adam’s fingers tightened on whatever he was holding, Nick would look at him and it almost seemed sympathetic. Maybe Adam was projecting. Maybe he just wanted someone to know the pain he was quietly suffering, not understanding how to see himself through it, adding to the pile of other anxieties and circling thoughts that spun around and around inside his head every day. At any rate, Nick would always side with his brother, time and time again. So why would he feel bad for Adam?

It’ll go away eventually. That’s what he kept telling himself. You’re just lonely. It’d been awhile. He kept to himself, but even he was only human, even he felt an aching need for companionship here and again, however temporary. Go to a bar, get drunk, find someone to hook-up with. You’ll forget about her soon. It would work, but only for a night, and only because he drank enough to forget everything but his name. Sometimes he even forgot that. He’d be left with the lingering feeling of thinking he was some sort of ass, going out and using another person for his personal vice like they were something disposable for him and had no thoughts or feelings of their own. Everyone said he was such a good person, but how could he be when he did things like that?

It’ll go away…

It’ll go away…

It’ll go away…

Then, like magic, there she was. Standing not but four feet in front of him. Breathing the same air as him.

And God, her brown eyes did look softly glittered in gold as the sun hit them. He sucked in a sharp breath and blinked, breaking through the surface from dream into reality.

“Hi,” she said, and her voice was soft. Her eyes danced between his and he would have given anything to know what she was thinking. He wanted to reach out, put his hands on hers and pull her in toward him so he could cover her lips with his and finally know what she tasted like.

“Hello,” he said.

Something shifted in his peripherals and hit him like a splash of cold water. He jerked and glanced to his left, seeing a woman he didn’t recognize watching them with a peculiar expression across her face.

It seemed Hazel did the same.

“Oh!” She gasped, startled, “Adam, this is my friend, Rosie.”

Rosie’s red-painted lips spread into a smile and there seemed a light in her eyes as she walked forward to accept his handshake. “The Adam?” She asked, with a tone that clearly indicated she’d heard about him before. Clearly from Hazel.

 “Uh, I guess that must be me? Adam Page.” He supplied with a small, awkward laugh and hoped his cheeks weren’t too hot. “Rosie, it’s a pleasure.” He glanced from Rosie to Hazel before he’d even slipped his fingers from their cordial handshake. She’d talked about him. What had she said?

Probably that he was an ass, considering their last interaction together.

Somewhere among his racing thoughts he found the manners he’d been raised with. “My friend Adam is over by the arena, if you want to wait with him while I take Hazel to look at the horses and see which one she wants to ride first.” He didn’t need to separate them; Rosie could easily come along with Hazel too.

But he wanted – no, needed – to talk to Hazel alone.

“Your friend's name is Adam too?” Hazel asked, and he heard a brief note of amusement in her tone. “Doesn’t that get a little confusing?”

“Sometimes,” he laughed. “If it makes it easier, you can call him ‘Hey asshole’ too, he’ll probably answer to it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Rosie said as he directed her down the path toward the arena, where they’d meet in a moment and then, finally, he and Hazel were alone. He glanced down at her profile and felt the knot in his stomach tighten. He swallowed thick, Adam’s apple bobbing, and cleared his throat a little weakly.

“The horses are this way,” he said, voice trailing off. It clearly wasn’t what he wanted to say, but he was struggling with where to even begin. Maybe he would sort himself out on the walk through the barn to where he’d left the first prospect in crossties. Hazel fell in step beside him and he watched her get distracted taking his property in. Did she like it? He looked around where her eyes were falling and wondered what she was noticing. He loved his home; it was the sanctuary he had built for himself and the one place he felt completely and totally in control.

“I saw Dolly out in the front pasture,” she said, glancing up at him and nearly making him stumble over his boots.

“Yeah! I have her out grazing today, letting her be a little lazy.” He smiled and Hazel smiled too. “Actually,” he started, voice bouncing around with a soft echo as they stepped inside his fourteen-stall main barn. “The first mare you’re going to look at is Dolly’s full-blooded younger sister. She’s about four years younger than Dolly; just turned four this last April.”

“Oh! I can’t wait to see her.” She said, and her voice sounded honest enough that it warmed him somewhere, seeing how taken she was with Dolly. “Your barn is beautiful,” she sighed as they passed the third stall. He’d noticed she’d been peeking in curiously through the black-iron bars to each one they passed to look at the horse inside if there was one.

“Thank you,” he said, and felt himself straighten his posture a little proudly. “I sank most of my first- and second-year’s earnings into getting this whole place redone. Tore down the old barn, paid to have this one constructed. Did the same to the hay barn and the mare hotel and boarding barn out back. Put in a new sprinkler system for the pastures, repaired the fencing, leveled out the arena and trucked in a good dirt-sand blend for it…” He realized he was rambling and cleared his throat. “Sorry, you… probably don’t care about any of that.”

“No!” She said, quickly, and her smile seemed a little shy. “I mean, yes. I do, actually. I’m kind of a nerd for all of this stuff.” She ducked her head and laughed. “When I couldn’t physically be around horses anymore, I found other ways to try and be involved with them, which mainly meant playing online games where you owned virtual horses and virtual stables.”

A grin cracked over his mouth. “Wow, you really are a horse geek, huh?”

Her smile was a full-on beam of sunshine, it was so bright and struck him so warmly. “Shut up,” she said, but it was chased by a laugh. He found himself laughing too.

There were only a few steps left until they would reach the big, open, padded space with a drain and hose hook-up where he’d secured the little gold mare in crossties as he groomed her this morning in preparation. A few more steps until they’d talk about the horse, about riding, he’d see if she wanted to tack up and ride her around the arena before he pointed out the other two and checked if she wanted to ride them, too.

Only a few steps before he may lose his chance to say all those things he wanted – no, needed – to say.

“Hey,” he started, stopping suddenly in his tracks. She stopped a pace later, turning around and frowning up at him. “Look, I know this might not be necessary but, I need to apologize to you.” Those words were hard to get out. They felt thick like molasses on his tongue, but he pushed through anyways. He saw her confusion deepen and explained. “I was an ass to you last time we talked and there was no reason for it.”

“Oh,” she breathed, and suddenly he knew she was there in that place with him. No longer were they tiptoeing around the past, he’d been brave enough to force them to look right at it, because he couldn’t take not addressing it. 

“Hey, look, it’s alright.” She was being nice.

“No, it’s not.” He said, firmly. “I uh… look, I can be a piece of shit sometimes - that’s not an excuse or anything - but the way I talked to you…” He felt like he was fumbling. How was he supposed to apologize without telling her why it was so important that he did? That he couldn’t live another day knowing that was her last impression of him?

He knew she was Matt’s girl… but Matt never had problems getting girls, did he? Couldn’t Adam have this one?

He forced himself to meet her eyes when his nerves wanted him to look anywhere else and the next thing he knew, he was talking and saying things he never would have thought himself brave enough to say.

“I like you, Hazel. I liked you from the minute I saw you talking to Dolly. I liked you so much it scared me. Hell, scares me, even. I haven’t stopped thinking about you, not once. I know that’s crazy to say, we barely know each other, but it’s been runnin’ me in circles and I kept telling myself if fate ever put me back in front of you with the chance to say it, I couldn’t let the moment go. I’m sorry I was such a dick. Matt…” He trailed off.

How was he supposed to explain the man who was one of his closest friends, damn near a brother, was also inadvertently a manufacturer of his personal insecurities? That he knew every flex of Matt’s ego – be it winning another championship or getting the girls at the rodeo to fawn over him – wasn’t a direct attack against his worth, but it still stung like it was.

“Look,” He sucked in a breath and shook his head, “my point is that I really like you, and that sort of scared me, and I got in my head over everything when you and Matt started talking and I took it out on you, and that wasn’t fair.”

She was staring at him. He wasn’t sure if it was for a few seconds or three hours, it felt like it must’ve been an eternity. He noticed every change in her expression, the way her brows dipped in and her eyes seemed to get bigger, or how her full, pretty lips pressed together and she seemed to worry at the inner corner of the bottom one. Those lips...

Then he was leaning. Forgetting himself. Forgetting she was Matt’s girl, closing the space between them, and finally… God, finally… putting his mouth on hers.

 **********

He was kissing her.

Hazels eyelids fluttered closed, mouth yielding to his. He sucked in a sharp breath through his nose as she did, and then suddenly their touch was changing. His wide, warm palms found her shoulders and pushed her back until she was pressed against the wood paneling, their kiss never breaking.

A small, needy noise crawled out of her throat, suffocated in their mouths. He must have heard it, though, for how he turned his head and kissed her harder, one hand sliding away from her arm and cupping her breast over her shirt and bra. He squeezed, running his thumb back and forth and making her ache for his touch on her bare body. The clothes between them were suddenly an absolute nuisance; she wanted to feel the tingles spread from every skin-on-skin touch.

He finally broke away from her mouth only to attack her neck with just as much pent up passion, the little coarse blond hairs of his close-shaved beard scratching her skin. Hazel tipped her head back and looked up at the rafters, head spinning with delirious delight. His knee pressed between her legs and they fell apart, easily. He crowded in closer and rubbed what was quickly growing hard and long in his jeans against her thigh.

“Adam,” she groaned, fingers reaching for the hair tie he had securing his curls in a bun, undoing it, burying in to shake the curls loose and holding him against her skin. She encouraged his tasting, fingers curling around the textured strands of his honey blond hair. His tongue swept down the line of the v-neck collar of her soft cotton tee, teeth nipping at her soft, supple cleavage.

Warmth as he slipped his fingers under her shirt, nearly making her jump at the sensation of his calloused fingertips brushing up her bare skin. Those fingers wiggled and pressed greedily beneath the elastic stretch of her bra and he groaned against her skin as his palm fondled her breast, her nipple hardening against his touch as he squeezed. The sound vibrated out of him, his body was so tight, so tense pressed up against her.

She was the one who found sense first, and she wanted to damn herself for it.

“Adam,” she panted, eyes opening fully on the fact that they were in the hall of his barn, his hand up her shirt and his mouth on her skin, his bulge pressed and rubbing her thigh. He didn’t hear her, tongue sweeping over the dip of her clavicle. “Adam, wait,” she said, fingers curling a little tighter in his curls and tugging back to regrettably pull his mouth from her skin.

He blinked passion-fogged eyes at her, a man caught in a trance, then seemed all at once to realize their precarious position. 

“Matt.” He exhaled in a heavy, almost angry breath.

“What?” she blinked. 

“Matt.” He said again, and the look in his dark green-blue eyes seemed to harden.

Fuck, right, Matt. One of his close friends. Her… whatever he was to her. Hazel licked her lips and tasted Adam.

“No,” she said, even knowing that probably should have been more than enough of a reason for them to stop. “Rosie and your friend,” she said, “what if they come looking for us?”

He blinked and that same waking-to-reality look that she’d had crossed his face. She slid her fingers out of his hair. “Damnit,” he muttered the curse under his breath and slipped his palm from her skin, out of her shirt, and she felt so much colder without his touch. He peeled himself away from her, but stood close, chin dipped to that broad chest and eyes full of her.

Kissing him was like… being caught in a whirlwind. Her eyes fell to his mouth and it took everything in her not to tell him fuck it, be quick.

“We’re not dating,” she blurted out to distract herself from how badly she wanted him to turn her around, tug her pants down and have her up against the stall wall.

He frowned. “Uh…”

“Not you and me,” she blinked and refocused on his eyes. “Matt. I’m not dating Matt.”

“Oh,” he said, and she couldn’t infer anything from his tone or expression, so she found herself talking more.

“We’re going to figure things out at the end of the rodeo season.”

He made a noise in his throat to signify he understood and drug his boot a heavy step away from her.

“Adam, I…” she wanted to be as open and vulnerable as he’d been. She wanted to tell him she hadn’t stopped thinking about him, that she watched live streams of his rides and cheered for him. She wanted to tell him that she had never met anyone who affected her the way he did, and she wasn’t sure what to think of that. But things were complicated, and they’d left their friends alone long enough. 

Hazel drew in a breath and shook her head, pushing from the stall wall he’d had her up against and pulling her shirt to set it right. “We should get to the horses.” She chickened out.

“Right,” he agreed, bending to pick up the hair tie she’d dropped, and she wished he wasn’t so difficult to read. What was going on in that head of his? From the way he’d treated her the last time they saw one another she’d have never imagined he felt the way he’d confessed to her. His fingers raked his hair back up and she tried not to pay attention to the shapely muscles in his arms. He caught her eyes and a sheepish grin curled the corners of his lips, staying until his hands had dropped and he nodded ahead.

“Hazel, I’d like to introduce you to Daisy,” he said as they stepped where the walls opened, and a pretty little golden mare was standing patiently in crossties. She perked her ears as they came around and lifted her head, watching them with curious, deep brown eyes.

“Adam, she’s beautiful,” Hazel’s breath hitched as she moved toward her, stretching out her hand so the mare could brush her velvet, whiskered lips over it and inhale her scent. She had a broken white blaze on her face, giving her the appearance of both a star and a blaze, and her coat was slightly darker than her older sister’s. She had no white on her legs like Dolly did and was just a little bit smaller.

“I’m glad you think so,” he said warmly. “I’ve never put Daisy on the barrels, but I think she has the right build for it.”

Hazel nodded, slipping beneath one of the leads so she could run her hand along the mare’s neck, over her wither and down her back. “She has a short back, which is good.” Hazel swept her palm down the mare’s belly and along her underside. “And a long undercarriage, which means she’ll have a wide stretch when she pulls away.” She ran her hand up down her hindquarters and felt how solid and stacked with muscle they were. There was a lot of power in this mare.  “I could definitely see her on the barrels if she decides she has the attitude for them.”

“Yeah?” He seemed just as excited as she was, and when she looked over at him, she saw he was smiling. For a few drawn out seconds they smiled at one another before he cleared his throat and blinked. “Let me go grab some tack and we’ll get her saddled so you can try her out.”

“Okay,” Hazel said, smiling and turning back to the mare as he left for the tack room. Once he was out of her line of sight, she exhaled low, working through the nerves that were storming through her. She lifted her hand and placed her palm on Daisy’s neck. The mare blew a soft breath through her nose and flicked an ear back, pointing it at Hazel. It made Hazel smile, like Daisy was already ready to listen to whatever Hazel needed to talk about.

“You’re a pretty girl,” Hazel murmured and curled her fingers, gently scratching the mare’s neck. She worked her way down to the top of her wither and Daisy stretched her neck out, clearly enjoying the rub. Hazel laughed gently and glanced as Adam came back with a saddle over one arm and the bridle and bit hanging off the horn.

“You two seem to be getting on,” he said with a grin, setting the saddle down and grabbing the bridle, stepping toward Daisy’s head.

“Here,” she offered, “Let me.” She stepped forward to take the bridle, slipping the headstall over Daisy’s ears before unclipping the leads from the halter she was wearing and unbuckling its clasp, slipping it off her face so it could be replaced with the bridle. As she gently offered the bit against the mare’s lips, Adam hefted the saddle and pad up and walked it around to the mare’s other side, swinging it over her back.

“She takes her tack politely,” Hazel commented as Daisy let her slip the bit into her mouth without complaint.

“She’s a well-behaved little lady,” Adam said, pulling the cinch on the saddle and buckling it up. “Especially for a young mare. She might’ve been the easiest horse I’ve ever trained. She has a sound mind, just like her sister.”

With Hazel holding the reins they started walking out of the barn, toward the arena. She glanced over at Adam and smiled when she saw he was looking at her. She looked away, biting into her grin to try and keep it from spreading. Her head was spinning with everything he’d told her; with the taste of him still on her lips; with her body aching, remembering how nice his touch had felt.

When they were out of the stable, she put her boot in the stirrup and swung her leg over, settling in the saddle. He helped her adjust the stirrups to the right length and tilted his head up to look at her, his palm resting on Daisy’s shoulder. The late afternoon sun glittered across his face and shone in his eyes. They looked greener today than blue, pale and soft, like the grass in a meadow, early morning with the fog crawling gently over it.

Hazel gathered the reins in her hands and gave a soft click under her tongue, squeezing her knees and getting Daisy to walk. Adam fell in place, walking beside them as they rounded the bend in the path that led out to a large arena. She could see Rosie standing with a man toward the end of the arena. That must’ve been Adam’s friend. He was lean, with brown hair that rested at shoulder-length, a black cowboy hat tipped back on the top of his head while he’d talked with her. He was smiling as he gestured with his hands, clearly telling Rosie some story, and she could hear Rosie’s sweet giggles from where they stood. They seemed to be enjoying one another’s company.

Adam put a boot up on the bottom panel of the arena fence and leaned his forearms on the top. He nodded to the inside of the arena. “Go ahead, see how you two get on.”

Hazel smiled and added a little more pressure with her knees, asking for a trot. Daisy obliged, moving into the bouncy gait as they made their way inside the arena. Everything slipped away as Hazel started to ride. She focused on the way the horse responded to her, heart lifting at how easy and eager Daisy seemed to take commands despite them not knowing one another. A small pull on the reins and weight added to her other side had the mare switching leads and leaning in where requested, which was a good sign that she’d be easy to train to curl around a barrel. Hazel squeezed her knees again and clicked her tongue, bringing the little mare up to a lope and then to a gallop. They circled around the wide arena three times, and Hazel felt like Daisy could have kept going. By the time she sat her weight back in the saddle and pulled up the reins she was grinning ear to ear.

“You two look good out there,” Adam called out from where he stood. Rosie and his friend, the other Adam, had made their way down the fence line to join him as she rode.

Hazel grinned as she gently rubbed Daisy’s neck, a little warm to the touch. She got the mare walking again to help cool her down. “She responds amazingly.”

 “I’ve never had too much of a problem on her,” Adam remarked from where he was leaning. “Think she’ll do alright on barrels?”

Hazel didn’t even have to think before she nodded and said, “Yeah! She’s quick, and when I asked her to change lead, she did it with ease.” Hazel pulled the reins and stopped her near the fence line where everyone was standing. “She’s small, and fast. I wasn’t even pushing her as hard as I could. I could tell she had a little more give in her.” Hazel glanced over at Rosie. “What do you think of her, Rosie?”

“She’s beautiful,” Rosie said, reaching out to gently scratch the little mare’s forehead. “What do you think of her?”

Hazel looked at the three expectant faces looking up at her and grinned. “Honestly? I think I’m in love with her.” Her eyes slid to Adam’s and he smiled so bright and open she felt like her heart skipped in her chest.

“You sure you don’t want to try out the other two?”

“You tell me,” she said, shifting in the saddle as the leather gently creaked. She let Daisy have her head, reins going slack as she dropped her arms.

“Gunner has a bit of a stubborn streak and will fight you for fun until you get him to mind his manners. I’m sure he’d make a fast little barrel horse and probably love doing it, but he isn’t going to mind you as easily as she does.” He reached over the fence and fondly patted Daisy’s neck, fingers ruffling her cream-white mane. “The other one I had thought for you to try is Cat. He’s a bit more docile than Gunner, but he’s young and doesn’t have as much experience under the saddle. I barely started him a few months ago. Out of the three, I think you’re going to like this girl best.”

Hazel nodded, grinning. “I think I agree.” Elation in her chest. “I’d love to buy her.”

Adam’s grin matched hers. “I’d love to sell her to you. Come on, let’s get her cooled down and we’ll figure out getting her a vet check before we transport her to your property.”

She nodded and pressed with her inside knee, pulling the reins wide, guiding Daisy to turn around and walk toward the open entrance of the arena. Hazel couldn’t believe it. The little pretty golden mare she was riding was hers. Or, going to be, once all the paperwork was finalized and so on. Finally, she had a horse again. Tears pricked hot in her eyes and she gave her head a little shake, thankful she was too far from the group for them to see. She blinked them out of her eyes and laughed softly, leaning to rub her palm along Daisy’s neck before giving her a few firm pats. “We’re going to have a lot of fun together, Daisy.” She promised the mare in a whisper, still smiling when she rode around the bend in the path and met up with everyone near the barn.

She pulled her boot from the stirrup and swung her leg over the mare’s back, dismounting with a soft little thud into the dirt below. Pulling the reins over Daisy’s head, she fell in step with Adam as he led them back into the barn. Rosie and the other Adam (Hazel still thought that was amusing) walked along with them, which meant they weren’t going to get a chance to be alone again. Hazel’s eyes darted to Adam’s, they met, and both their lips curled into smiles.

They stopped in the wide hall of the barn; Rosie being shown around by Adam’s friend since she hadn’t seen the inside of it. He seemed happy to introduce her to the horses and she could hear Rosie’s compliments on how beautiful each horse was that they passed. She smiled over at Adam.

“Your friend is sweet.”

“Cole?” Adam snorted, but she could tell it was good humored. “He has y’all fooled.”

She laughed and Adam reached out for the reins, which Hazel handed over. She wasn’t sure if he purposefully moved his hand or not, but his fingers bumped into hers and slid slowly across her skin as she released them. Hazel took a breath and turned to gently give Daisy a few more scratches, grateful for the distraction. Adam let the reins drop, and she was pleasantly surprised to see Daisy simply stood by, not trying to wander off once she had the freedom to do so.

“Is she registered?”

“Yeah, AQHA. The name on her papers is Dun n Daisy Dukes.”

Hazel laughed. “That’s adorable.”

“Thank you, I was pretty proud of myself for that one.” Adam was grinning as he pulled the heavy saddle from her back and set it out of the way, propping it and the saddle blanket up against the nearby stall wall.

“She and Dolly must have some Hollywood Dun It in their bloodlines I’m guessing?”

“They do,” Adam sounded surprised she knew. 

“Remember? I’m a horse geek.” Hazel smiled. “I know the prominent AQHA stallions and I know it’s tradition to register their names with something carrying over from their parents. If Daisy is registered as Dun n Daisy Dukes and Dolly is registered as Lil Dun Dolly, I’d imagine they carried the Hollywood Dun It in their names.”

Adam whistled low, his brows lifting. “Well damn, if you know AQHA studs that well, you’ll be happy to know they’ve got Flit Bar lines on their dam’s side. Fire Water Flit is their great grandsire.”

At that, Hazel’s eyes widened. Fire Water Flit and his sire Flit Bar were two very prominent barrel racing studs. Their offspring had gone on to win a ridiculous amount of barrel racing championships. “Okay, you could have led with that and I probably would have been sold on her.” Their soft laughs joined together as Adam patted Dee’s neck and gathered the reins of the bridle up again, starting to walk her toward her stable.

“How soon do you think the vet check will be?” She asked, then added, “Not that I’m trying to rush you. I’m just excited.”

“Understandable.” He smiled at her. “My vet’s pretty good, I should be able to get her out here this week. Unless you have a vet you would rather I use?”

“No, I trust you.”

“Okay, I’ll text you as soon as I know what day she’s available to come out. Do you have a trailer?”

“I don’t,” Hazel frowned. “I guess I could rent one.”

“Don’t bother,” Adam waved his hand, “I can bring her to you.”

“Are you sure? That’s a six-hour drive.”

“I’d like to see her off to her new home”

Rosie and his friend were making their way back toward them as they put Daisy up in her stall. Adam unclipped the buckles of her bridle and slipped it over her head, stepping out and sliding the door behind him before he latched it shut.

“Okay,” Hazel agreed, and realized almost immediately this meant Adam would be coming to her house. Should she have someone over with her that day? How could she be both excited and terrified with how he made her feel? What would Matt think? Sure, he’d said they weren’t dating, but that didn’t mean her feelings for him vanished into thin air. If the two of them didn’t know one another, it might be a different story, but with Adam and Matt being friends she wasn’t certain that was a sort of drama she should invite into her life.

“We’re all set then. When the vet finds her sound, we’ll discuss a price.”

“Okay!” She grinned and looked through the black iron bars at the cute little gold mare in the stall. “I can’t believe this little beauty might be mine soon. I really do adore her, Adam.”

“I can tell.” There was a warmth in his voice and when she glanced up at him, saw he was watching her, and his eyes matched his tone. “She likes you too.” There was something in his expression that made her breath catch.

Rosie’s giggles drifted near, and when Hazel turned to look, she saw the other pair were doubling back around. Her eyes slipped back to Adam’s just as his did, and it seemed they had an unspoken moment of realizing there was still so much to say, but time had run out. Hazel decided then and there if things worked out and Adam was going to bring Daisy to her, she wouldn’t have anyone at the house. She’d meet him alone.

She felt excited.

She felt guilty.

“Hazel, you gotta give this girl some tune-up on her riding. I think she’s got a cowgirl heart.” Adam’s friend was grinning as the pair came near enough for him to talk. Hazel glanced over at them, seeing up close the blue of his eyes that seemed almost merry with how bright they were, looking down at Rosie. Rosie had a pink blush in her fair cheeks and a wide smile on her cherry-red lipstick painted lips. Hazel had to fight to keep from smiling too obviously. They were adorable, and Rosie was clearly into him.

“I think you might be right.” Hazel agreed with a smile. There was a sudden buzz in her pocket, and she blinked, tugging her phone out and glancing at the screen. The notification banner showed her she’d gotten a text from Matt. 

TEXT FROM: MATT 💗

Hey, when do you think you’ll be home tonight?

Hazel started to type out a reply after she’d glanced at the clock and calculated how long they’d be driving and when they might leave here. Adam’s friend took over the conversation as she went quiet, asking Adam about one of his mares and pulling him away from watching her closely.

TEXT TO: MATT 💗

Not until 10PM or so it looks like. We just put the mare up, so I’ll probably be leaving back home soon. Why???

TEXT FROM: MATT 💗

FaceTime? I want to see you when you talk about the horse you saw today. I want to see that smile. ❤️

A fond smile crept across her lips and a sweet ache hit her chest. Their communication had felt off when they talked last weekend when she’d told him about finishing the stable. Since then, they’d texted and even talked, but every time they did, Hazel had felt like there was something lingering in the air between them. Eventually she’d written it off as her paranoia that he’d been upset she’d hired a company to finish the barn without telling him. Once she’d told him she was going to look at a horse, he’d gotten excited for her. Now he wanted to FaceTime so he could see her smile when she talked about the horse she saw.

TEXT TO: MATT 💗

Yeah, okay! I’ll let you know when I get in. I have to drop Rosie off at home first. Can’t wait to tell you about the mare!

TEXT FROM: MATT 💗

I can’t wait to hear all about her. Talk to you later 😘

TEXT TO: MATT 💗

Okay 😊 😘

Hazel glanced up from her phone to see everyone talking about the horses. However, when she slid her phone back into her pocket, Adam immediately glanced her way. Her smile felt nervous and she hoped it didn’t look it before she glanced over at Rosie and smiled.

“You driving home tonight?” Adam asked as the conversation slowed to a stop.

“Yeah, which means we should probably get on the road soon.” The slight hint of regret that chased her tone wasn’t forced as she slid her eyes back to his.

“Aww, that’s too bad,” his friend drawled, “I’ve enjoyed the company.” 

Rosie, beside him, blushed.

“Much better than Page’s, that’s for sure.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “I don’t see how you couldn’t like my company, Cole. You talk about a hundred miles a minute; I’d be lucky to get a word in edgewise the entire time you’re here.”

“He does talk a lot, doesn’t he?” Rosie said, playfully thoughtful as she squinted up at Cole. Teasing.

He gasped in offense as he looked at her with surprise, and her giggles shortly followed. Hazel was smiling; Adam was too. Their eyes met and their smiles softened. There was no talking over what’d happened between them earlier in the barn. She’d escaped having to tell her feelings.

Hazel knew that wasn’t fair to him, especially after he’d bared his heart so openly to her.

“You drive safe, alright?” Adam said softly, Rosie and his friend were occupied with their teasing and laughter as they headed out of the barn back toward Hazel’s truck. He reached to gently rest his hand on her lower back as they turned to follow their friends out of the barn. His palm fell away and he cleared his throat. 

“Yeah,” she said, trailing off as her steps seemed to drag. His did too.

“I’ll try and get my vet out to look her over soon. When she’s clear we can talk details. I’m really glad you liked her.”

They stopped right outside the barn and turned toward one another. 

“I really do.” She said on an exhale, smile spreading across her face.

“I’m glad you’re riding again, too. Especially barrels; what you’re passionate about.”

“Thank you,” she said softly. Behind her she heard the truck start up and, glancing over her shoulder, saw Rosie in the driver’s seat, window rolled down as she talked to Cole, who was leaning on the truck door and giving a wide, charming, happy grin up at her. Hazel looked forward again, up at Adam. “I’ll… talk to you later?”

“Yeah,” he said, and his gaze dropped to her lips. He took a slight breath and looked back at her eyes. Hazel felt flush. She licked her lips and swallowed against the sudden jump in her pulse. “Goodbye, Hazel. I’m…” his blond brows pinched. “I’m happy it was you today.”

“I’m happy it was you, too.” She said, sotto voce. 

“You better go on before they get suspicious.” He said with a wry smile, nodding toward their friends.

“Yeah, I guess I better… bye Adam.”

“Bye darlin’.” He breathed a regretful sigh, eyes meeting hers. She had a feeling all he’d wanted to do was grab her up against him and kiss her dizzy like they’d done earlier. 

She wanted him to do that too.

Instead, Hazel gave her a little half-wave and turned around to walk to the passenger side of her truck, climbing in the cab and buckling up as Cole nodded and said goodbye to Rosie, stepping back so they could take off. Hazel watched Adam’s figure grow smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror until they drove too far down the drive to see him. She sighed, shoulders dropping.

“Okay,” Rosie said as they stopped before turning on the main road, “we have six hours, and I have a lot to tell you, but you need to tell me everything about what happened when you and Adam were alone.”

Hazel groaned and pressed her hands over her eyes, dragging them down and blinking at Rosie. “Things just got really fucking complicated, that’s what happened.”

Rosie turned onto the main road to begin their drive and Hazel told her everything that had happened and everything Adam had confessed.

“When he was kissing me, I completely forgot about Matt. It wasn’t until Adam brought him up when we stopped that I suddenly remembered. I feel awful.”

“What are you going to do about Matt?” Rosie asked curiously.

“I don’t know. We’re not actually dating, right? Matt made that pretty clear. He doesn’t want to talk about it until the rodeo season is over in December. So… I’m technically single? But they’re friends. They know each other. Closely!”

“And what happens in December if Matt says he wants to exclusively date you? Or what happens before December if Adam tells you he’d exclusively date you now?”

Hazel swallowed and shook her head slowly. “I honestly don’t know.”

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt again, Hazel. Cause you know if either of those men hurt you, I’ll whoop them.”

Despite the fact Rosie was a sweetheart through and through, Hazel did not doubt her ability to become a tough little firecracker in her defense. It made Hazel laugh as she nodded. “I know you will. That’s why I love you.” The girls shared a smile before Hazel continued. “I know it isn’t the smart thing to do, but I think I’m just going to keep letting the cards fall where they do. I’ll have to tell Matt tonight the mare is Adam’s, and maybe I’ll just tell him what happened.”

“And if he gets upset and doesn’t want to talk to you anymore?”

“Well,” she had a sinking feeling in her gut, “I guess that’s his fault for not wanting to try being with me when I offered. Or my fault for kissing Adam? I don’t know.”

“I’ll leave my phone ringer on when I sleep tonight if you need an emergency best friend conversation.”

“A true friend,” Hazel said fondly. “Which I’m not being, speaking of… you still need to tell me about Mr. Handsome Cowboy you were flirting up a storm with.”

Rosie grinned and even though it was dark in the cab, Hazel swore she could see a little blush in her cheeks.

“Oh, the other Adam?”

“Mhm,” Hazel said, grinning.

“He’s a flirt.” She rolled her eyes. “I saw right through him within five minutes of us talking. But… he’s cute. He got really excited to tell me about bull riding when I told him I’d never watched it. Didn’t make me feel dumb for not knowing, you know?”

“Yeah,” Hazel said, smiling. 

“He asked me for my number.”

“He did?!” 

“Yeah! When he was leanin’ on the truck and you were talking to your Adam.”

“And? Did you give it to him?”

“No.”

“What? Why?” Hazel sat up and frowned at Rosie.

“He’s pry a womanizer. Doesn’t actually care about me, you know? Just flirts with any girl he sees.”

“He didn’t flirt with me,” Hazel pointed out.

“That’s because any fool with eyes could see the hearts Adam had in his eyes every time he looked at you.”

She flushed at that.

“I don’t know. He was cute but, I definitely felt like that attraction wasn’t as authentic for him as it was for me, you know?”

Hazel hummed under her breath. “I don’t know about that, he looked pretty into you as far as I could see. Hey, maybe you’ll get a chance to see him again in the future, given that I’m apparently seeing Adam again.”

“Well, maybe I wouldn’t mind seeing him again. He is really damn cute.”

“He is,” Hazel agreed with a laugh.

They arrived at Rosie’s house first and, after a goodbye and a hug, Hazel climbed into the driver’s seat and pulled her phone out while she was still parked. She yawned and clicked through to the text messages between her and Matt.

TEXT TO: MATT 💗

Just dropped Rosie off, I’ll be home in about twenty minutes!

TEXT FROM: MATT 💗

Sounds good babe.

She smiled and clicked to black the screen out, tossing it gently into the passenger’s seat and pulling the truck out of the driveway. How was she going to tell him about what happened between her and Adam?

“I should just be forward,” she muttered out loud to herself, frowning at the road in front of her. “I should just tell him like, look, Matt, you remember when Adam and I came up to the fire when we first met? I had almost kissed Adam earlier that night and I do have feelings for him. Today he told me he has feelings for me, and we kissed.” She swallowed and exhaled.

“Jesus, I can’t tell him that. Hey, Matt, turns out the horse is Adam’s, you know, one of your super close friends? Also turns out he and I have intense feelings for one another, and we made out and he touched my boob! Okay see ya later bye!”

Hazel choked on a laugh that was followed by a groan and a heavy sigh.

“Hazel, you idiot.” She scolded herself under her breath, turning her truck into her drive. She rolled to a stop and parked, turning the key in the ignition to shut the engine off and sit in the silence of the cab as she glanced at her unlit house.

She’d pick Carson and Callahan up tomorrow from the pet sitter’s, it was too late to get them now. It’d be weird to spend the night completely alone in the house. Hazel swallowed against that feeling and grabbed her bag, climbing out of the truck and locking it behind her as she pulled her house key free and jogged up the porch steps. Hopefully she’d be tired by the time she and Matt got done talking and be able to just go right to sleep. She had traveled for twelve hours and ridden, after all.

Hazel pushed the door open and locked it behind her, tossing the keys onto the catch-all that sat on the little table in the foyer, entering her house and flipping lights on as she walked through. Her purse was discarded on the couch and she tugged her phone from her pocket, tapping a message to Matt as she wandered into her room.

 TEXT TO: MATT 💗

Home! Let me shower really quick. Give me twenty? 😊

She underhand tossed the phone onto her bed and bent to tug her boots off, straightening as she pulled her shirt over her head and went for her bra. A sigh of relief followed unclasping the back-strap and she shrugged out of it as she went for the drawer full of big, soft, comfortable shirts to sleep in. She tugged the lavender one free and opened another drawer to grab a pair of white little sleep-shorts. Holding them in one hand she pulled her jeans and panties off, leaving a trail of discarded clothes as she made for her bathroom.

Hazel showered quick and the warm water felt like a luxury against her muscles that’d likely be sore tomorrow. She shut her mind free of the confusing thoughts circling it and the anxiety of what would happen when she told Matt what’d happened with Adam, or how she was going to broach that topic at all. It was refreshing to dry off and feel clean, too, and she closed her eyes as she towel dried her hair, enjoying it for a moment. 

When she opened her eyes, she could see her reflection looking back at her and shook her head, laughing dryly to herself. “Six months ago, I swore I was never going to date again, now here I am getting caught between two men.” No, that had definitely never been the plan. Hazel rolled her eyes at herself and set the towel aside, grabbing for her pajamas and tugging them on. 

Was it unfair for her to try and casually be with them both, unknowingly, for a moment? If she told Adam she wasn’t ready to be exclusive with him because she still didn’t know whether she and Matt were going to agree to date in December, would he be okay with that? Would he still want to see her, when she told him she’d like to explore their feelings? Could she tell Matt? Was it wrong for her not to include him? If Adam knew and she knew, it wasn’t fair that Matt didn’t know the whole picture, too.

Question upon question were piling up. She shook her head and grabbed her phone, stomach turning as she walked out of her room toward the kitchen for a water. Her phone started to ring just as she got to the fridge. Balancing the phone in one hand she slid to answer the call, smiling as Matt popped up on the screen.

“Hey!” She said.

“There you are,” he said, and grinned. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“It’s been awhile since we’ve FaceTimed,” she agreed, opening a nearby cabinet to grab a glass and get water from the spout on the fridge.

“It has,” he said. “So? How was the horse?”

Hazel laughed, but it was chased by nerves. “Yeah, about that. The ranch was actually-” and right before she could say it was Adam’s, her doorbell rang. “What the hell?” She muttered, setting the water down and looking toward the door.

“Who’s at your house this late?” Matt asked.

“I don’t know.” It was just hitting 11:00PM. “Maybe Rosie left something in my truck.” 

She walked quietly until stopping before the door, pressing up on the tips of her toes to look through the peephole. She gasped at who she saw and wrenched the door open, heartbeat jumping.

“Matt?! What the hell are you doing here?!”

He grinned, ending their FaceTime call as he tucked his phone back into the pocket of his wranglers. “I was in the neighborhood. Come here, I haven’t held you in weeks.” The last time they’d seen one another had been when he’d left the first time. Since then, their talks had been strictly by phone.

Matt pulled her into his arms, and she melted against him, heart sighing to remember what it felt like to have his touch. He was warm against the fall chill at their backs. His thumb pressed gently under her chin and he pushed her face up to look at him while he dipped and slipped his lips across hers. Hazel sighed into the kiss, turning her head to find a better position.

They pulled slowly apart, and she shook her head, still unable to believe he was actually here, on her porch, holding her. “Wait, I thought you had a rodeo you came home from today.”

“I did.” He said and tipped his head toward the inside of her house. “C’mon, let's get off the porch.”

He bent to pick up the straps to a lightly packed black duffel bag and followed her inside. “Right after I put my horse up, I texted Nick asking him to feed for me tonight and in the morning, packed an overnight bag, unhitched my trailer and started the drive up here.”

Hazel closed the door behind her and turned around to face him just as Matt set the duffle bag down and turned toward her. “Why?”

He reached out, either palm sliding warm over her hips. He pulled her in to him, chin to chest as his dark brown eyes softened on her face. “Because I missed you. Because when you were first planning to buy a horse from Bob, I knew his ranch was only a couple hours away from mine, and I was going to show up there and surprise you.” 

“I was going to surprise you!” Hazel said, grinning. “I was going to show up on your porch with an overnight bag after I looked at the horse.” A realization hit and her brows rose as she glanced down at his bag, then back at him. “Hey, you stole my idea.”

Matt laughed and reached up to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Once you weren’t going to Bob’s and were instead going the opposite direction, I realized that meant I didn’t know when I was going to be able to see you next. I didn’t like that, so here I am.”

Hazel laughed behind closed lips and shook her head. “Here you are.”

Matt dipped his head and pushed his lips against hers again. Hazel once again melted into him, and let her body be walked back until she was against the door. Her lips opened for him and his tongue took the invitation, sliding in along hers. The longer they kissed the hungrier they became. Matt’s hand chased up the curve of her hip, up her side and framed her breast. He pinched her nipple over her shirt, softly pulling, making it a hard, needy peak as she gasped into his mouth. He grinned, chuckling before he kissed her again and smoothed his palm over her breast before moving to tease her other nipple in the same way.

She and Matt hadn’t seen one another in weeks, which led to them forgetting about everything and stumbling through the house, stopping to kiss and touch and giggle and moan here and there as they went. Eventually they made it to her room - his shirt was gone, she’d tugged it off down the hallway, and his hair was down and loose around his shoulders - and Matt didn’t let up. He moved with her clear until the back of her knees pressed against the bed, her fingers on his warm, bare chest, running up and then down over his arms. She felt the curve of muscle as he flexed beneath her touch and her lips, against his, lifted into a smile.

He pulled his mouth off hers. “Climb on the bed,” his breath was low, warm against her kiss-swollen lips, his voice rough with need, “And take these clothes off.” His fingers pried at the soft lavender tee she was wearing, tugging pointedly at the hem. With one more urgent kiss against her lips, he finally stepped away, hands falling quickly to the big, shiny buckle on his belt. As she tugged her shirt over her head, he popped the belt open on his jeans and tugged the zipper down quick. His fingers hooked in the denim and he hesitated, just briefly, eyes ravenously black as they fell to her bare breasts. His lips fell apart and she ached for him, for the familiar sweet sting of his beard burn he left after he kissed and sucked at her nipples.

He tugged his jeans down and she wiggled her body atop the sheets, pulling and maneuvering to free herself from her sleep shorts and discarding them without care. He stepped out of his boots and jeans, leaving the pile on the floor as he reached down to take off his socks. He’d undressed in a hurry up until this point, straightening and pinching his fingers in the elastic band of his black boxer-briefs. Hazel’s eyes dropped and saw the thick, defined shape of his hard cock straining against the dark fabric. She wet her lips in anticipation and pushed her heels into the bed, sliding her now-naked body up the sheets and toward the pillows. Matt pulled his boxer-briefs free, cock springing, tip leaking, veins fat and full along its length.

She inhaled as he climbed onto the mattress, her body weight leaning into each dip his knees made as they pressed down. His wide, calloused hands gripped over her knees, pushing her thighs apart as he knelt between them. His cock slipped over her and he sucked in a breath, exhaling it slowly. His hips pushed down, then tilted in, and his cock pried between her lips and slid right in, she was so wet. Hazel gasped on the same breath he did, their eyes locking.

That was the only still moment between them. Their lovemaking turned as wild as it was the first night they were finally able to be together, their bodies stumbling to catch up to all the connecting their hearts had been doing. They were a mess of moans and grunts, of sweat-slick skin sliding on sweat-slick skin, of panted breaths and feverish kisses. Matt pushed up to his knees, hands gripping into her hips, and held her up as he thrust hard and fast, in and out of her, fucking her into her shoulders. Hazel moaned and arched toward his thrusts, opening her eyes to look up the stretch of her naked body to where he was sweating, tense and hungry over her.

Her eyes rolled back in her skull as he dipped his hips and pushed up, stroking a sensitive spot deep inside between her legs. It sent jolts down her thighs and her joints locked, stiff, toes curling in the air and fingers digging into the sheets. Her mouth stuttered on a gasp and hung, caught open. Matt grinned, just barely - doing so was an effort when he was pushing all his energy elsewhere - and the dark of his eyes seemed just a shade darker as he thrust harder, more pointed in that same way he’d gotten her a moment before. Over and over the head of his cock teased that sensitive little spot until she was careening, gasping on her cries, clamping her muscles tight and clenching her jaw in anticipation of- “MATT!” - the crash.

He came down with her, a boulder of uncontrolled muscle crashing in on her as his own body went rigid, balls likely sucked tight to the base of his cock as it pulsed inside her and her own orgasm grabbed it tight. He made a stuttered grunt that seemed like it was supposed to be her name, or maybe a warning, but his throat couldn’t move enough to work words. She felt the warmth inside her as he came, the last ripples of her orgasm pulling at every last drop of him buried so deep inside her.

Matt lay almost an uncomfortable, still weight on top of her as the last of the pleasure ebbed away and their minds pulled from the fog. Their skin stuck, warm and sweaty, his breaths crowding over her. But Hazel’s body was too worn out, she couldn’t be bothered enough to push him away. And some part of her enjoyed it, in a way, that she could finally have him so close that his physical weight might be uncomfortable. Every other night he was just a voice. Just a moving picture.

“Sorry,” he murmured, breathing in an exhausted chuckle, arms shaking as he slowly peeled himself off of her.

“It’s okay,” she said in the same low tone, eyes sliding to meet hers once there was enough space for them to.

Carefully, still sensitive and half-hard, Matt slipped his cock from between her legs. He winced, just barely as the head slipped out, spent and slick with both their cum. He maneuvered to lay his body down beside her on the bed, exhaling a large breath. Hazel grinned and turned over, curling into him almost immediately as he lifted an arm and wrapped it around her shoulders. She looked up at him as he tipped his bearded chin downward and met her eyes.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” She was marveling, still. They’d rushed so quickly to be together, her mind had to catch itself back up.

“I missed you,” he said. His hand lifted so the tips of his fingers could smooth her frizzy hair, setting the pieces right that had stuck to her cheeks.

“I missed you, too.” She said. Her heartbeat hit a little harder, fear slipping into her veins at what she knew was showing brightly in her eyes that she tried so hard not to let go of. Vulnerability. Was he going to tell her he’d thought about what she’d said, and maybe they should look into being together exclusively? (She tried to ignore that this time, she felt three emotions altogether, all equally as potent: excitement, fear, and hesitance) 

Hazel waited for whatever he was going to say, but Matt didn’t speak. He smoothed his hand back down her shoulder and smiled, then leaned his head back on the pillow. His eyelids drifted closed, long eyelashes gently brushing the tops of his cheeks. His breathing relaxed and he seemed to sink calmly into the mattress.

Then she realized no profound confession was going to come from him. This surprise visit of Matt’s was just a one-off thing. Hazel tried to tell herself she wasn’t disappointed. He likely sensed like she did there’d been something wrong between them and he came to put himself between her legs and fuck her until she lost her mind. He’d curl his arm around her and tuck her into him like he was doing now and she’d remember how warm and safe it felt. 

But clearly he wasn’t going to tell her why he had become so distant after she finished the barn.

Maybe that was for the best, Hazel thought as she laid her head against his chest and let herself close her eyes and enjoy that he was there and warm and real in her bed with her. And she let herself remember that his smell would linger for a day or two in her sheets to be there as she drifted off to sleep. She wasn’t even sure she could commit to Matt, not after the connection she’d felt with Adam earlier.

Adam.

Her eyes opened quickly. She’d forgotten all about telling Matt about Adam. A sinking feeling hit the pit of her gut. She was too much of a coward to tell him to his face, when he’d driven all the way over here to surprise her. Especially now, naked, muscles sore from their desperate lovemaking. Hazel moved slowly and shushed him when he grunted and cracked an eye open, assuring him she was just going to the restroom. As her feet hit the plush carpet and he dozed off again, she wondered how she could get angry at him for skirting around things hanging between them when she couldn’t even show him the same courtesy.

**********

“Morning sleepyhead.” Matt whispered softly from where he was bent over her, standing on the other side of the bed, gently rubbing her shoulder. Hazel groaned, and something paper crinkled as he moved. “Look,” he beckoned, and she slowly pulled the comforter down to see a little bag with her store logo printed on it.

“Rosie says good morning. I went and got us coffee and breakfast, come on.” He gently tapped her ass over the comforter she was wrapped in and she groaned in complaint, tucking back into her warm cocoon. He laughed. “Come on, you have coffee to drink, food to eat, and a horse to tell me about.” His voice was fading as he walked out of the room and down the hall.

A horse to tell him about.

Adam’s horse.

Adam.

Matt showing up on her doorstep.

Adam and Matt being friends.

The way she felt when she was with Adam.

The way she felt when she was with Matt.

One day she would look back and maybe realize this was the exact moment, at 7:06AM on an otherwise normal Monday morning, with her body sore from the long drive and horseback riding and phenomenal sex, that she’d first made a connection that would become something paramount later on. But at present she was too tired and too worried about all that would go wrong to even consider what could be, let alone what couldn’t be controlled.

Hazel slid out of bed, wearing her sleep shorts and baggy shirt she’d tugged back on after getting ready for bed. She padded barefoot into the restroom, freshening up with only the amount of effort it took to splash her face, brush her teeth, and run a quick brush through her hair. She yawned as she turned away from her reflection and knew the warm cup of coffee would be a godsend this morning.

“There she is,” Matt said warmly, and she looked over at him - he was in his usual around-the-house attire of a cotton t-shirt of one of the brands that sponsored him and a comfortable pair of sweatpants. He’d swept his hair up into a bun, she remembered it down, jerking around his shoulders with each ram of his cock inside her. She licked her lips and set herself quickly down on the chair across from him, putting the reminder out of her head.

“My body feels so beat up, I don’t know how you travel like this and then perform every single week.” She complained as she wrapped her hands around the sleeve of the thermos he’d taken to get her coffee in.

“Aw, it’s not so bad. Eventually you just figure your body is supposed to feel all of those aches. You just kind of forget what it was like when you weren’t in pain.” He grinned as he lifted his coffee to his lips, winked and took a sip.

Hazel breathed out a laugh and rolled her eyes, taking her first sip of coffee and closing her eyes as she enjoyed how wonderful it was. She took another sip before the bag rustled and, looking, she saw Matt was opening it.

“Rosie had just pulled some lemon poppyseed muffins out of the oven before I rolled up. I grabbed a couple.” He reached in and placed one on a napkin for her, sliding it toward her spot on the table. He grabbed another one for himself and set his phone aside, it looked like he’d been reading a news article. Matt saw her glance at it. “Checking how everyone did at the other rodeos this weekend.” He grinned and shrugged as he picked at the muffin wrapper, peeling it away. “Trying to estimate what our scores are at and how good Nick and I have to be this weekend.”

“It never stops, huh?” Hazel said, but she didn’t say it sadly. It was more like she was marveling. He just kept pushing himself toward that dream, toward proving to everyone that he was as good as he said he was. It was admirable, even if it got in the way of something she wanted. That dream was there before her, anyways.

“Nope,” he said, and a sigh seemed to chase his words before he caught himself and plugged his mouth up with a chunk of baked goods. She did the same and he finally asked after he took a swig of coffee, “So, come on. Tell me about the horse.”

Hazel laughed, and she sipped her coffee to stall time.

“Funnily enough, it’s Adam’s.” She said, and her eyes shot to him as she kept the cup near her lips. She wondered if he’d ever caught on to any of it that first night they’d talked by the fire, when the energy between her and Adam had felt like it was practically shooting sparks.

“Adam?” He frowned and popped another bite into his mouth, chewing carefully. “Adam who?”

“Page.”

“Oh!” He laughed, clearly surprised. Delighted, even. So, he didn’t have any clue. “When did you find that out?”

“When I got there,” Hazel admitted. “I got so excited about going to see a horse I didn’t even ask for the guy’s name before I showed up, and then it turned out to be him.”

“Of course, you could only think about the horse.” Matt was grinning. “Which of his is it?”

“Daisy!” Hazel said it with excited breath, unable from sitting a little higher in her seat. It was easy to forget about Adam when she thought about the mare she might own soon.

“Daisy’s a beautiful little filly,” Matt said, frowning with thought. “That’s the little gold one that’s related to his mare Dolly, right?”

“Yeah, full sisters.”

“That’s right. Dolly is a sound horse. Last year at the NFR my horse hurt himself at the rodeo; he spooked when an attendant’s dog acted out and kicked, missed the dog and hit the trailer. It gashed up his leg and I didn’t want to run him, even patching it up. Didn’t want to take the risk. Adam always trailers in Dolly in case he decides to pick-up, and she’s a solid little ranch mare even if she’s not just for head roping. He let me ride her and Nick and I pulled second place when we otherwise would have had to drop out and severely hurt our rankings.”

“Wow,” Hazel exhaled, both marveling at the mare and at Adam’s quick thinking to make sure his friends wouldn’t miss their chances.

“Yeah,” Matt nodded and took another swallow of coffee and bite of muffin before adding, “if that little mare is anything like her sister, you’re going to have yourself a damn good horse.”

Hazel grinned. “I really think she’s something else. I haven’t felt that way when I’ve gotten on a horse since my first horse, Shorty.”

“Shorty?” Matt asked, smiling.

“He was a horse that a friend of my stepfather’s owned over at a dairy. He was the third horse I ever rode, a stocky little bay gelding with a little star on his forehead. He was playful and silly and would get a little pushy if I didn’t mind him, so he taught me a lot. He was also the first horse I ever rode barrels on.”

“Really?” Matt asked, leaning his forearms on the table and watching her.

“Yep! The dairy farmer’s daughter used to be a barrel racer, but she went off to college. Shorty was her horse. She came home for Christmas break and we went over for a little Christmas party and she asked me if I was the girl who was keeping Shorty company when she was gone. I was probably nine or ten at the time,” Hazel tilted her head, remembering that night well. “She asked me if I’d ever seen barrel racing and I said no, so she took me into her old room and showed me all the trophies and ribbons she and Shorty had won, and all the framed pictures she had. She taught me how to run the patterns that weekend and gave me books she’d learned from too.”

“Wow,” Matt said, smiling. “That’s awesome.”

“It really was! I felt that same connection to Daisy that I did when I used to ride Shorty.”

“You know, I think that might be the first time you’ve ever told me anything about your childhood.” He commented softly.

Hazel blinked. In truth, she’d been so happy to talk about Daisy she hadn’t even realized the story was tumbling out. She glanced down at her coffee mug, avoiding his gaze. “It’s not something I like to think about often.”

“I know,” he said. When she met his eyes, she saw they were warm and wanted to offer comfort. “Come on,” he broke the tension for her, and she was secretly grateful he didn’t press, or keep the silence hanging long enough she felt she had to talk about it. She wasn’t ready. “We still need to go pick up the clowns-” Carson and Callahan “-and you need to show me that barn in person.”

Hazel smiled as she stood up, grabbing the thermos as he took up the empty muffin wrappers and slid the crumbs off the table, throwing them in the trash on their way back to the bedroom to shower and dress. He wrapped an arm around her as she passed him and forced a pause in their walk to place a quick, soft kiss against her temple. An extra touch of comfort. Hazel’s heart warmed as their eyes met, her smile softening.

Matt had stayed most of the day with her. When Hazel finally saw him off it was in the late afternoon, and they tried their best not to talk about how badly they’d miss one another, though the words slipped out anyways. After she watched his truck back down her drive and take off down the road, Hazel loaded Carson and Callahan into her truck and went to relieve Rosie from managing the coffee shop. 

The dogs were always welcome at the shop, though they mostly slept and played in the manager’s office, only occasionally coming out when beckoned by a customer who asked if they could pet them. Hazel loved having a place she could bring her pups along with her if she wanted and was always delighted when someone seemed genuinely enthused to play with them. Some customers brought their dogs by, too, and they’d go out on the white-picket fence enclosed patio to play and have a little fun.

As she let Carson and Callahan inside and the little bell chimed as the door swung closed, she noticed a beautiful painting on the wall; a mountain landscape set in soft, lavender tones. “Oh wow! Is that a new one?”

“It is!” Rosie beamed, clearly happy Hazel had noticed.

“Rosie, it’s gorgeous!” Hazel said, turning to appreciate her friend’s artistic talents. “You really outdid yourself.” She stepped a little closer to it and smiled, looking at the little details that drew her eyes the longer she admired it.

“Thank you sugar,” Rosie said with a wink and couldn’t calm the width of her smile as she practically beamed under the compliment. “But,” her expression turned a little more pointed as Hazel glanced over at her, “Don’t think buttering me up is going to get you out of telling me what happened with Matt last night.”

Hazel laughed. “I wasn’t trying to get out of it! But aren’t you exhausted? You’ve been here since the crack of dawn and we didn’t exactly get to bed early last night.”

Rosie waved her hand dismissively as the pair turned and made for the office. Two of their part-time staff members were on hand to help serve the steady flow of customers coming in and out for a little treat and something warm to drink in the steadily cooling late-fall weather. It gave them the perfect opportunity to slip into the office, closing the door behind them for privacy. Rosie waited until they’d sat, offering Callahan a few scratches behind the ear as he walked over and plopped down in front of her, clearly expecting some love.

“I didn’t tell him what happened with Adam.” Hazel exhaled in a rush, then groaned and shook her head. “I couldn’t. Or, I didn’t want to. I don’t know. It was just so good to be with him again, you know?”

Rosie looked at her with sympathy. “I know, sweetheart. But letting it go on like this is just gonna lead to more heartache when things finally do come out. Adam’s still going to be bringing the horse, right?”

“Yeah,” Hazel said, worrying at her bottom lip and shaking her head. She knew clinging to the excuse that they hadn’t discussed anything was a cheap way out. She knew the right thing would have been to at least clue Matt into her having feelings for Adam, but she couldn’t do it. “So long as she passes her vet check, which I'm sure she will.”

Which meant Adam would be trailering her in. Which meant she would be alone with Adam. She knew she should feel guilty, not excited.

“How long will that take?”

“A few days, maybe? It depends on when the vet can get out there and then when Adam has the time to drive her up.”

Rosie hummed under her breath and then smiled. “She is really pretty.”

“Isn’t she?” Hazel couldn’t ignore how her heart lifted just to think of the little golden mare and how she couldn’t wait to hopefully begin training her on the barrels.

Rosie asked a few more questions about the mare, and Hazel was all too happy to answer. It was much, much easier to gush about her potential new horse than it was to go in anxiety-ridden circles about the potential mess she was making between herself, Matt, and Adam. She went on about a barrel saddle she’d had her eye on buying, light oil color with hand-painted floral details, turquoise and clear crystal embellishments. There was a matching headstall and breast collar to the entire set. Hazel pulled it up on her phone and passed it over, smiling as Rosie marveled at how pretty it was and how well the turquoise would look against Daisy’s golden coat.

It was exciting to talk about these things again. To think the mornings of tugging on her boots and making her way to the stall to feed were just on the horizon. Hazel could barely contain her excitement. All she needed now was to hear from Adam again, and she hoped it would be soon. Both because she wanted to know if she could really begin dreaming of everything she and her new little mare would do and because she could daydream about seeing him again. 

Across from her, Rosie lifted her hand to cover a yawn. Hazel smiled sympathetically and clapped her palms against her thighs, pushing up to her feet.

“Come on,” Hazel said, reaching to pull Rosie up out of her chair. “Your friendship duties are officially over. I know you’re tired out of your mind, so I’m sending you home.” She tugged her out of the office and stopped them in the middle of the shop, despite Rosie’s arguments that she wasn’t that tired, and would be more than happy to keep on talking.

“Go on, get home safe.” Hazel nodded over Rosie’s shoulder to the door.

“Alright, alright,” Rosie said, conceding at last. “But remember,” her tone brought Hazel’s eyes to meet hers. “If you need me, I’m always just a phone call away.”

Hazel’s lips curled upward as she reached to gently grasp Rosie’s hand. “Thank you.” Rosie nodded and turned, waving and giving her goodbye to their staff working behind the counter and once she was gone, Hazel returned to the office to pick up where Rosie’s work had left off.

Two hours into spreadsheets and schedules and budgets that had her eyes wanting to cross, Hazel’s phone buzzed.

TEXT FROM: Adam

Daisy passed her vet check with flying colors.

Hazel’s brows shot up as excitement rushed through her. She couldn’t grab her phone up to reply fast enough.

TEXT TO: Adam

Yay!!!!! I know you’re already helping me out by driving her up to mine since I don’t have a trailer yet, but is it wrong of me to ask how soon you’re able to? I’m just so eager to have her.

TEXT FROM: Adam

Not wrong at all. I’m happy she’s clearly going to a good home. If I could bring her up Friday and leave Dolly with her overnight, you’d be doing me a favor. I have a rodeo about seven hours further north of you on Saturday. I could drive six hours to yours, put Dolly up and that’ll give Daisy some company for the first night in a new place. Then I’ll just stay at a hotel and come back in the morning, load Dolly up and finish my drive to the rodeo.

Hazel read and reread the message. There was nothing wrong with him leaving Dolly overnight and she did like the idea that Daisy would have something and someone familiar on her first night at her new home. But she knew, before she even began typing the message, her reply was going to make it all kinds of wrong.

TEXT TO: Adam

That’s no problem at all! If you want to save money on a hotel, I have a guest bedroom. If it wouldn’t be weird for you. I am still kind of with Matt.

TEXT FROM: Adam

Kind of with… but not dating, right?

Her pulse jumped, but her stomach turned. She sucked in a breath.

TEXT TO: Adam

Yeah…

TEXT FROM: Adam

It’d help me out to not have to pay for a hotel room, so if it wouldn’t be weird for you, I’d appreciate the offer. I’ll keep my hands to myself, if that’s what you want.

She didn’t want that and they both knew it. With a sigh, she glanced over at Carson, who was stretched out on the dog bed in the office. He perked his ears at her as their eyes met.

“I don’t know what I’m doing either, bud.” She said and glanced back down at her phone.

TEXT TO: Adam

Guest bedroom it is. See you Friday. 

She set her phone down and, elbows on the desk, leaned her face into her hands and closed her eyes. This wasn’t fair to Matt. Beside her, Hazel’s phone buzzed. Another text message, probably from Adam. She cracked her eyes open and almost choked on a laugh. Speak of the devil.

TEXT FROM: MATT 💗

Almost home! Just a few more hours. Call you when I get there?

She glanced at the time, and figured she’d be just locking up and getting home when he was finally ready to call.

TEXT TO: MATT 💗

Sounds great babe. Drive safe! 

Another heavy exhale and she set her phone down, glancing back at Carson who was still watching her from where he was laying. He thumped his tail and Hazel smiled flatly. 

“You’re supposed to protect me from things that hurt me, you know that, right?”

He pulled up to his feet, tail wagging increasingly harder the closer to her got, sitting in front of her knees and pushing his head onto her lap. He looked up at her with big brown puppy dog eyes and Hazel sighed, shaking her head and scratching him behind his floppy, soft golden ears.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. You can’t protect me from myself. It isn’t your fault.”

Hazel gave him a final little scratch behind the ears and gently pushed him from her lap, turning in the office chair to pick up work again. When she’d done enough scheduling and inventorying and planning to make her want to rake her eyes out, she joined the staff working until closing and helped them behind the counter, checking in with townsfolk she was familiar with and thanking them for coming by. It was nicer than sitting alone in the office with only her thoughts to turn her around and around. Here, conversation stole her attention and left it with nothing to focus on but familiar faces and pleasantry.

The sky became pitch black as the night stretched ever closer, the sun having set a few hours prior. Hazel waved her employees goodnight and locked up, getting Carson and Callahan loaded into the backseat of her truck’s cab before climbing up into the driver’s seat. She was alone with only her thoughts again, but was quick to flip on the radio, deciding if she sang along to her favorite songs it’d be enough to preoccupy her on the drive home.

It was, of course, temporary.

Soon enough she was pulling into the driveway, killing the engine and glancing down at the time on her phone. Matt would likely be calling in just a few minutes. Hazel tucked her phone into her pocket and slid out of the truck, taking Callahan and Carson up to the front door and giving a quick smile over at the still-empty barn. She let her heart lift with excitement, thinking of that cute little golden mare who’d occupy it soon enough.

As soon as she’d lightly tossed her keys into the catch-all on the hallway table, her phone started to ring. When she pulled it out of her pocket, she was relieved to see it was a normal call and not FaceTime. She slid to answer and held it up to her ear.

“Hey, babe.”

“Hey you!” He sounded happy. Hazel bit at her bottom lip.

“How was the drive home?”

“Not bad,” he groaned, and she heard a sound like he’d collapsed onto his bed, the sheets and mattress giving way beneath his weight. “Mmm,” he murmured tiredly, “wish you were here though.” A sigh through his nose. “I wasn’t ready to let you go after just one day.”

“I wasn’t ready for you to, either.” A pinch of sadness weighed down her tone. Hazel didn’t understand how she could feel how she felt about him, but also feel the way she felt about Adam both at the same time. It didn’t seem fair. Or reasonable. She knew what it was like to be cheated on, and she didn’t want to be the kind of person that’d bring that sort of pain to someone she cared about. But again, she found herself confused and wondering… was it cheating if they weren’t technically together?

“Sorry,” he said, picking up on the long pause of silence between them. “I didn’t mean to get mopey and be a downer on the conversation.”

“No, no,” she slowly lowered onto the couch, peering off across the room but seeing none of it. She was picturing him, instead. “You don’t need to apologize.” She took a small pause. “Hey, Matt?”

“Hm?”

“Can I say something that might make the conversation even more of a downer?” Her chest felt tight.

“I… guess. What’s wrong?” His voice sounded sharper than it did before. She’d broken through the exhaustion of a long day’s drive and now he was alert.

“I know we said we weren’t going to talk about dating until after this rodeo season was over in December,” she started, “but something’s changed and I just need to know if you really see us as exclusively dating - the real thing - after this season is done.”

“I… What do you mean, something’s changed? What changed?”

She could hear a touch of anger in his voice.

No, wait. Not anger. 

Worry.

“Matt,” she sighed and closed her eyes, reaching to pinch the bridge of her nose. “What happens next rodeo season?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what happens if during the off-season you decide you have enough time to date, but then the rodeo season starts up again in the spring and you feel like you can’t be around again?”

There was a long pause. Longer than normal.

“Hazel, I…” He trailed off. Every second of silence made her chest ache a little tighter and a little tighter. “I don’t know.”

She exhaled and hated the way her eyes were stinging. “You don’t think we could do it? The long-distance thing?”

“What’s changed, Hazel? I was just there with you yesterday and everything was perfect. Why are you suddenly asking me all of this?”

“I met someone.” It was out of her mouth before she had a second chance to think. Before she could point out there shouldn’t be any difference if they wanted to try dating now or a few months from now. The rodeo and their distance were always going to be there, so why not try and work through it now if that’s what he really wanted?

“You met someone.” He laughed, but there was no humor to it. Now she could hear a little bit of anger.

“Matt, nothing’s happened.” That was a lie. Hazel swallowed against her rising guilt. “I just want to know where we stand. I care about you, Matt.”

I love you, she wanted to say, but she was too terrified to say those three little words and then hear him tell her he didn’t feel the same.

“I care about you too!”

“Do you?” The words practically leapt out of her, pushed by the pain she was feeling. “Because if you cared about me, I don’t see why you wouldn’t want to just try dating, Matt. We’re adults, we can figure out trips to see one another.” 

Suddenly this conversation was steamrolling into a fight.

“I already told you I don’t have time to focus on a relationship the way I’d want to. I don’t want to hurt you when I have to pick the rodeo over you.”

“You already are.” Picking the rodeo over her or hurting her? 

Hazel didn’t specify.

The pause was long again. He exhaled a sharp breath, but still didn’t speak. It stretched on a little longer.

“Are you going to say anything?” She asked, hearing how small her voice was.

“I don’t know what to say.”

She swallowed back against the lump in her throat and tried her hardest to keep from crying but felt the slip of a tear down her cheek just a moment after. Careful to stay as quiet as possible so he wouldn’t hear her crying, she reached for a tissue on the coffee table and carefully pressed it against her eyes, looking up at the ceiling and doing her best to not let any more fall or any shaking breaths leave her lips.

“Well,” she tried once she felt like she could get her voice. She could hear the faint roughness of emotion laid over it but tried to keep her tone level. “I guess I should go then.”

“Hazel, we can’t leave it like this. We can’t hang up like this.”

She hated that she could hear the hurt in his voice. He was hurting her. Why wouldn’t he answer her? Why wouldn’t he try? Wouldn’t it make sense, if they were going to date exclusively, to try during the most hectic time of the year to see if they had what it takes to get through the tough stuff? Didn’t that just mean that somewhere, in the back of his mind, he didn’t really want to be with her as much as he thought he did?

“I don’t know what to say.” She echoed his words back to him, to hurt him too, but she didn’t feel particularly good about it. It just hurt her more. She heard another breath rush out of his lungs.

He cursed under his breath. “Hazel, I care about you, okay? I wouldn’t have driven all that way to surprise you if I didn’t.”

“I know,” Hazel closed her eyes tight, hoping that’d continue to keep the tears at bay. “But you don’t want to date right now?”

“The NFR is just two months away,” he said quietly. “Can’t we just wait to talk about this until then? Maybe there’ll be a rodeo close enough for you to come out and stay the weekend with me? I think I have one this weekend that’s about seven hours away from you.”

“I’d have to talk to Rosie and see if she could cover the shop for me,” she trailed off and then shook her head, remembering, “No, wait. I can’t. I’m getting my horse on Friday.”

“Oh… I think the other ones are all out-of-state. Wyoming and Montana until we head to Vegas for the NFR.” He paused and when he spoke next, she could tell he was trying to make his voice lighter, trying to patch them up and pull them away from that sad place they’d been in. “But hey! You didn’t tell me your horse passed the vet check. That’s exciting!”

Her heart was too heavy to lift, even for that. It felt like a cheap way to distract her from what they’d been talking about.

“Yeah, it is.” She looked up at her ceiling. “I need to go... I have to be up early so I can open the shop.”

“Okay,” he said, but she heard the hesitation in the pause that followed. They still hadn’t soothed what wounds they’d both opened, and now neither of them knew how to. If they hung up, the sting would have no choice but to linger. “I’ll text you tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Bye, Hazel.”

“Bye, Matt.”

She pulled her phone slowly away, blinked at his name and the seconds trickling by the timestamp on their phone call. The screen blurred as her eyes filled with tears. She clicked the red circle to hang-up before they started to fall.

***********

A loud, long groan pushed with effort from his chest, barely muffled behind closed lips, his jaw clenched tight. His work-glove covered hands curled around the handles of the hay hooks buried at either side of the fifty-pound bale of alfalfa hay and he hoisted it upward, biceps bulging against his sun-tanned skin with the effort. He turned his body and swung the bale up onto the stack in his hay barn which he’d parked the trailer beside to unload.

The work kept him occupied and pushed the frustrations that’d plagued him through a sleepless night. Some bales that he lifted, he practically screamed through, but it was only against the thoughts that’d been circling endlessly around in his head and spreading an ache in his chest. He kept trying to shake it off. Each time he tugged the hay hooks from the bale and stabbed them aggressively into the next to be unloaded, he hoped some of that tension would ease out of his body. Maybe he’d exhaust himself enough that he’d just lay back right there on the scratchy hay and pass out and wouldn’t be able to think anymore.

Sweat dripped down his temple and he paused, stretching upright with the hooks left in the bale, reaching to wipe it away with the back of his hand before it hit his eyes. His other hand swiped the black cowboy hat from his head and he fanned himself briefly with the brim, stirring the few wisps of brown hair that’d untucked from his low bun as he worked. He realized it felt loose and dropped his hat onto the hay bale, reaching up to secure it again. His arms burned with a familiar, comfortable ache and he knew he’d have no hope but to fall into a deep sleep tonight.

“I thought you were going to wait until I was over to unload!” Nick’s familiar voice called up from a short distance away, and Matt dropped his hands slow, reaching to pick up his hat and wiping the little flakes of alfalfa that’d stuck to it. He stuck it low on his brow before he turned to look at his brother, who’d now reached the flatbed and was peering up at him with a frown, long fingers pinching his narrow hips.

“I needed to do something.” He said, voice strained as he realized how thirsty he was. He tugged off his gloves, hands warm, and tossed them gently onto the next hay bale he was supposed to move.

Nick’s frown deepened. He turned to where Matt had left his bottle of water and chucked it underhand up to him. “What’s going on?”

Matt twisted the cap off and looked over at his younger brother, pushing a sigh out of his nose and dropping his shoulders. “I fucked things up with Hazel.” He tipped the bottle back and took a swallow, using it as an opportunity to avoid meeting Nick’s eyes.

“What? How?”

“I don’t know,” he sighed and licked the residue water from his lips. That was a lie, he did know. He also knew that all he had to do was tell Nick the conversation verbatim, and Nick would know too.

Nick didn’t press or say anything. He pushed up on the flatbed trailer, where there was space for his boots to firmly land on the secured wood-beams that made the bed. Matt had already managed to clear a decent amount of bales on his own, but he was feeling the exhaustion at having overexerted himself because of it.

Another sigh.

“She met someone else, Nick.”

Nick’s brows lifted. He tugged his gloves from the back pocket of his Wranglers and pulled them onto his hands, stepping into Matt’s space as Matt took a few steps to the side. Setting the bottle of water aside he reached for his gloves, tugging them on as he considered what happened on the phone with Hazel the night prior.

As Nick grabbed the handle of the hook on the left side, Matt grabbed the right. They maneuvered the bale onto the pile being stacked in the hay storage and when Matt tugged the hook free, he spoke.

“She told me something had changed, and then asked me what happens next rodeo season.” He blinked, a frown pushing his dark brows together. His arm swung as he buried the metal hook into the next bale. “I-”a grunt broke between his words “-asked her what had changed and she told me she met someone.” He tried to say it as if it didn’t tap on one of those very fears that’d worried him about them dating.

“So she doesn’t want to talk anymore?” Nick asked, hoisting his side up as Matt followed suit and they stacked the next bale.

“No,” Matt shook his head. “She didn’t say that. But we got…” he glanced down at the toes of his boots, gaze distant as he remembered lying on his bed, heart pounding so fast and hard in his chest he felt sick, fingers curled so tight around his phone they ached and his knuckles were white.

I don’t want to hurt you when I have to pick the rodeo over you.

You already are.

His eyes rolled up to the sky as he tipped his head back. A dry laugh left him on an exhale, but there was no humor in it. “We got into a fight. A real one.” His head tipped back forward and his eyes slid to Nick’s. “I can’t remember the last time I was with a girl long enough to have fought with her.”

“Girls yell at you all the time,” Nick said, swinging the curved hook into his side of the bale.

A grin curled the edge of Matt’s mouth beneath his mustache. “Shut up,” he said half-heartedly, stabbing his hook into the hay and hoisting the weight upward as Nick did too. Once they’d swung the bale onto the stack and released the hooks, Matt shrugged. “That doesn’t count. That’s them yelling at me about how I’m a no-good scoundrel who’s only love is rodeo gold, that’s not us fighting.”

“You’ve never stuck around long enough to fight with them.” Nick said it casually, but Matt felt himself tense.

“Yeah, well, I don’t have time for this bullshit.” He spat it out with a little more venom than he’d intended, gesturing vaguely. “My focus has always been on our career, and that’s no different now. Where am I supposed to fit a relationship in with a woman who lives a whole day’s drive away?”

Matt stabbed the hook into his bale, but Nick didn’t do his. Straightening upright, Matt looked at his brother and saw Nick was watching him with an almost sympathetic look across his face. Matt hated how much it cut through him, how it immediately tugged away the anger that was keeping him safe from feeling how hurt he was. His eyes dropped away from Nick’s.

“You sort of already are, Matt.”

Matt glanced up and saw Nick was still steadily watching him. For all of Matt’s anxious ticks and nervous energy, Nick was calm and still, far more collected of the two. Nick pulled his glove off and scratched at the light scruff on his chin as his brows pinched inward and he narrowed his eyes in thought.

“Come to think of it, I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen you play your normal games with the rodeo girls.” Nick’s eyes slid to Matt and his brows lifted beneath the brim of his baseball cap, pushing the brim just slightly up his forehead. “I think the last time was when you met her.”

Matt shrugged and turned away, as though that would hide what having those truths laid out bare in front of him made him feel, and how scared he was to feel those feelings. “Come on,” he said, encouraging Nick to put his work gloves back on and help hoist the hay. “She already met someone else. It was only a matter of time anyways. She deserves someone who’s going to be there for her more than I can be. Who isn’t going to hurt her like I have.”

Nick was slow to put his glove on, but didn’t talk until he’d picked his hook back up and secured it into the bale. “For all we’ve known each other - and it has been quite some time,” he pushed through gritted teeth as they hoisted the hay up onto the stack and tugged his hook free, “I’ve never known you to be a quitter. Especially if it’s not something your heart wants.”

**********

“Okay, I don’t think she’s paying attention to us.”

“No, I don’t think she is. She hasn’t looked over since we said her name an entire minute ago.”

“So we could say whatever we want about her and she wouldn’t hear it?”

“Probably.” A little snickering followed, but just like the question Andrea had asked her a moment ago, Hazel heard none of it. Her foot was bouncing beside the chair as her eyes pinned to the semi-busy afternoon crowds down main street outside her’s and Rosie’s coffee shop. She was sitting at one of the window seats, across from her was Rosie and Andrea, as the three girls had a little get-together one of the few nights Andrea had a chance to leave her siblings behind and had no shift at either of the jobs she worked.

They’d caught up on what had happened between Hazel and Matt and the fact that she hadn’t heard from him since their fight on Monday. She hadn’t tried to text or call him back, and he hadn’t tried to text or call her.

“Does this mean you guys are over?” Andrea had asked, frowning.

“I don’t know. Maybe?” Hazel didn’t want to say yes, though that’s certainly what it felt like.

“Hey! Hazel! Hello!” Andrea’s voice was suddenly loud, and it made her jump as her wide-eyes swung back to find her friends staring at her with matching grins.

“Sorry,” she said, “did you ask me something?”

“Yeah, about five minutes ago!”

“Sorry!” Hazel laughed and shook her head.

“It’s okay,” Rosie laughed, “we know you can’t think of anything but Daisy.”

Adam would be sending her a message as soon as he was an hour outside town. It would give her time to leave the shop, drive home and do another check to make sure everything was ready for the mare. Or, mares, since Dolly would be staying the night too. As would her handler.

Hazel was trying not to think about that too much, along with making the egregious mistake of assuming she could be reasonable and keep her hands off of him and stay in her room and not do anything to further complicate her love life. Instead, she was putting all her focus and attention on the arrival of her new horse. It wasn’t too hard to do, given how excited she was about being a horse owner again, and how much she couldn’t wait to run Daisy on the barrels. It was like a piece of her had reawoken, something that she thought she’d lost long, long ago.

“I can’t wait,” Hazel confessed, looking between her friends and beaming. “I can’t wait for you to meet her Andrea, she’s an absolute sweetheart.”

“She really is,” Rosie agreed.

“Don’t be surprised if Grace starts asking for a sleepover at Auntie Hazel’s,” Andrea said. Grace was her youngest sibling at seven years-old, and the only girl. “She’s in that horse-crazy phase of her young girl years.”

“Ah,” Hazel said, nodding, “a phase I know all too well. Some of us never grow out of it.” Their light laughter was broken by Hazel’s phone chiming and lighting up where it sat on the table in front of her. She squealed to see Adam’s name and was quick to open his message. “Looks like it’s time for me to head home and check everything over.” She said, smiling back up at her friends.

“Adam’s close?” Rosie asked.

“Yep,” Hazel pushed the chair back as she stood, “I’ll send you guys some videos of her settling in!” 

The girls said their goodbyes and Hazel rounded up Carson and Callahan, loading them in her truck before she headed for home. She couldn’t get there fast enough, even knowing Adam was still an entire hour out. Her giddiness made her realize twice she was speeding, and she’d exhale with a laugh as she eased the foot off the pedal and slowed her truck down. She felt like a kid at Christmas, all the excitement inside her pouring out in what felt like a permanent smile that’d been on her face all day.

The following hour passed surprisingly quickly as she did a check around the barn and turnout paddocks, filled two stalls with a little over a foot of soft sawdust flakes, and got the water buckets filled before flipping the automatic fill nozzles on. Hazel had just swung the back door toward the turnout paddock open when she heard the rumble of the truck’s engine and glanced to see Adam pulling his horse trailer up the drive.

Wiping her hands on her jeans she darted out of the barn and half-jogged to where he slowly pulled the truck to a stop. 

“Hey!” She called as he climbed out of the cab.

“Hello again,” he said warmly, and opened his arms to envelope her in a friendly hug. Hazel didn’t hesitate, and something in her softened to have his arms around her and his scent - whatever shampoo and conditioner he used, horses, leather, and the faint spearmint from the gum he’d been chewing - in her nose, her lungs as she dragged a deep enough breath for it. He must’ve sensed something, because as she snuggled in close, Adam’s hands flattened on her back, holding her closer into his front. 

Hazel buried her face against him, and let the pain she’d been feeling that past week slip away, second by second that he held her. His arms shifted, he pulled her back just enough to lift his thick fingers to her chin, guiding it up so their eyes could meet. The way concern looked on his face made her heart ache.

“You alright?” He asked, his green eyes jumping between hers.

“Yeah,” she exhaled and nodded. “I’m okay.” 

The hand that’d been holding her chin reached to cup her cheek. His thumb skimmed across her skin. “Alright.” He said. He wouldn’t press, wouldn’t make her tell him why she’d needed to hold him so tightly. 

“Want to introduce your girl to her new home?” He tilted his head toward the trailer, blond curls gently shifting with the movement.

“Yes!” She practically jumped in his arms and was only remiss for a second when their embrace broke.

As Adam went to unhitch the back of the trailer, Hazel popped the side door, speaking softly to the golden mares as she stepped inside the trailer. She ran a gentle hand along Daisy’s haunches and down her spin, shifting between them to where her lead was securely knotted. Quick work undid the nylon and Hazel gently turned her, leading her out of the trailer. “Welcome home, Daisy,” she said as they walked down the ramp and onto the gravel driveway outside.

Daisy lifted her nose in the air, nostrils flaring as she sucked in deep, fresh breaths of all the new smells. She jerked her head lightly on the lead - not enough to disturb Hazel’s grasp, though it tightened all the same - and looked around, ears pointing forward, attentive. Hazel smiled and rubbed her free hand down Daisy’s warm, strong neck. “What do you see, girl?” She asked her, starting to walk, Daisy more than happy to fall in step with her.

As Hazel showed her around the yard, Adam unloaded Dolly, who was clearly happy to be able to uncramp her legs from the trailer.

“Let’s turn them out in the arena,” Hazel suggested, nodding toward it. “They can stretch their legs and get some energy out.” She could tell when Daisy had turned and seen her sister that her excitement had mounted and the clips of her hooves hit a little more rapidly as she swung her hips, moving restlessly. It’d be good to let them burn this off.

Adam nodded and started toward the arena, Dolly glancing around as he led her toward the gate. Hazel followed in tow with Daisy, who seemed confident and happy following her older sister. Adam popped the latch and pushed it open on the hinge, walking Dolly in a few steps over the soft sand-dirt blend arena. He reached up to unclip her lead as Hazel led Daisy in behind them, reaching to do the same before Daisy could get too excited about her sister already trotting a few paces out. The lead unclipped, Daisy tossed her head and pulled her legs up in a high-knee trot, cream-white tail flagging out behind her muscled haunches.

Adam joined Hazel, standing side by side with her as they both held their horse’s respective leads, smiling and watching the mares in the arena.

As Daisy approached Dolly, Dolly lifted her head and kicked out her heels playfully, picking up the pace to egg her younger sister into a chase. The two uncramped their muscles from the six-hour long travel in the trailer, and worked through their energy at being in a completely new place with new smells. Dolly was used to traveling and her confident nature would help ease Daisy into this place too, making it more something to be intrigued by than fearful of. It was a good thing Adam had a rodeo and needed to bring Dolly, too. Hazel watched both golden mares stop at the other end of the arena and glance out toward the foothills, side by side as they pointed their ears over the fence and listened to whatever caught their attention.

“She looks right at home here,” Adam said, and it drew Hazel’s eyes toward him.

“She does.” She agreed with a smile.

“Want to give these girls a break? Show me around your barn?” He offered.

“Sure,” Hazel agreed with a smile, and turned to walk back toward the arena gate they’d gently closed after releasing the mares. They hung the leads on the fencepost, since they wouldn’t need them until they were ready to put the mare’s up for the night, and exited. Adam latched the arena gate and waved a hand at Dolly and Daisy, who’d glanced over to curiously watch them make their exit.

“It’s definitely nowhere near as fancy as yours,” she started, not wanting his expectations through the roof as she led him across the yard toward it.

“Well, you’re also not a multi-year bronc bustin’ rodeo champion with a ranch horse breeding business on the side.”

“Fair point,” she laughed as he raised his brows and fixed her with a pointed, green-eyed stare. He grinned shortly after, and her eyes lingered over how handsome happiness looked on him. It made his cheeks perfectly round and pinchable, with a brightness in his green eyes that nearly made them shine blue.

They reached the little three stall barn and Hazel tried to temper her smile as she walked him around, showed him the stalls and their swing out doors to the small turn-outs, the little tack room that doubled as a feed room and an all-purpose room, too. No wide wash-stalls with cross-ties here. It was a humble little stable but, like Adam said, it wasn’t like she was raising a whole herd of horses or in the business of it,  no matter how much she’d love to be.

Still, Hazel was proud of it. She had built the frame with her own two hands, even if a company had finished it, furnished it and given it some pretty little upgrades she might not have put the time into herself. 

“I like it,” he said, his nod shifting the blond curls resting on his broad, muscled shoulders.

“Yeah?” She asked, smiling up at him.

“Yeah! I can see it’s new, no little dents from the day-to-day, can still smell the fresh paint, everything is shiny and unlived in but, it feels like…” he paused, “feels like it’ll be a home. It’s warm; it has heart.”

Hazel laughed softly.

“What?” He asked.

“Sometimes I feel like you’ve got a poet’s soul, cowboy.”

“Aw,” he grunted, and she was pleased to see just a little bit of red in his cheeks as he smiled. “I normally don’t talk this much to people.” He said, then sighed. “Well, I do. I can talk my way into looking comfortable in any size crowd so well, people will think I must be a natural. Truth is, most of the time I’m around people, I’m terrified as hell. What if I say the wrong thing? Is it wrong that I really don’t care that Kenny’s playing a new video game? Am I acting like I do enough so I don’t come off rude as he talks to me about it? Am I maybe being a little spoiled, not wanting to talk to my friend about something he likes or is it okay that I don’t want to? Am I a good person?” He rattled off the questions with a good-humored exaggeration of his worried persona until she was biting down hard into her smile as he did. 

Hazel shook her head and reached out to touch his forearm. He brought his eyes to hers, and his posture relaxed. One of his free hands reached up to cup her face.

“But with you, I feel like I can say exactly what I want to say, and I want you to accept and understand me so bad, and then you do. Or you say something I’ve been thinking, but haven’t managed to put together to make sense of it yet. You just…” he exhaled, and she felt the warmth of it over her lips. He’d sank down closer to her, as if every word pulled them in like magnets. “You scare me, Hazel, but you make me feel more like me than I’ve ever been comfortable with before.” 

And their lips met, her answer a muffled whine, sweet and heartfelt against his tongue. He inhaled sharp, and his hand slipped from her face to pinch into her waist, his other hand flanking her other side. He squeezed hard, harder than he’d meant to as a muscle jumped in his blond hair-dusted forearms and his hold relaxed, just a little. His thick, tall body bullied her back to the wall where she went willingly, just like before.

Her back flattened and his body was quick to push warm and needy against her front. A perfectly placed knee guided her legs apart so he could shuffle in a step closer, pushing the bulge growing between her legs against her thigh. They fell into where they were a week ago in his barn as if no time had passed or location had changed. Adam’s hand pushed up her shirt, calloused hands grazing her soft tummy as they moved upward. His greedy fingers slipped under her bra until they found her left nipple, squeezing it and giving it a slight pull - just enough to make her moan into his mouth and his grin to smear across their kiss.

Hazel pulled her head away to look at him and saw how dark his eyes were. He almost looked like a man possessed, so hungry for her, with so many emotions flooding the surface. She could feel nothing but loved beneath a gaze like that, and with how low her heart had been all week, it was more than she could ask for.

Adam released her left nipple and slipped to cup her right breast instead, wiggling to offer it the same treatment, pushing his mouth hot against hers to muffle another little yelp of pleasure-pain that pulled from her throat when he pinched it. Her hips moved restlessly against him, rubbing his growing, jean-clad cock on her thigh and herself on his sturdy, large thigh. It shoved the stitching of her jeans against her thin little panties, and she gasped shakily when their mouths moved apart.

“Fuck,” he groaned, pulling away to get a good look down at her. His eyes jumped over her face and he smiled, almost in wonder. “C’mere, I want to see you.” His voice husky, gentle. Adam took his fingers out from where he was stretching the elastic of her bra and out of her shirt, pinching the hem instead. He slipped it up her body, eyes meeting hers to make sure it was what she wanted.

Hazel didn’t hesitate. With their eyes locked, she took her shirt from his grasp and ripped it quickly over her head. When his eyes fell greedy to her cleavage she wasted no time twisting an arm behind her back, grasping her bra’s clasp and twisting to pop it free. Adam’s eyes jumped to hers, then back down as she peeled the material away and dropped it at his feet in the barn aisle next to her shirt.

“God damn, Hazel,” he whispered in a hot breath as one hand lifted to lightly hold the weight of her bare breast, his eyes falling from hers, to it. The pad of his thumb skimmed over her teased hard, sensitive nipple and she inhaled a sharp breath. His head of golden curls bent so his mouth could engulf her breast and the flat of his wide tongue could flick back and forth across her little pink nipple.

Hazel bent her head back, eyes on the wood-beams above. Adam’s warm mouth worshipped one breast, then moved to the other to offer it the same treatment. His fingers crawled down to her jeans and tested the loops before turning in toward the button. He slipped it free then lifted his head, and his eyes - dark with need - met hers. The brief moment of pause in the chaos. The one chance to say “Are you sure?” without actually saying the words. As if there was any chance she’d want to go back now. As if there was any chance they could rein in the coming storm their passion felt like it would be.

She nodded, just barely, and a grin curved Adam’s mouth. The zipper of her jeans tugged down with a loud, quick zip, but before he could tug them down, she was prying at the hem of his shirt and pushing it up his thick, warm torso.

“Fair’s fair,” she said as he bent in and tasted the skin of her neck. “I’m shirtless, so you have to be too.”

She could feel his grin against her skin, and he was still smiling as he took his thick fingers off her jeans and stepped back just enough to have the room to strip. “Didn’t realize we had rules,” he teased as he pulled the material up his body and let it fall carelessly to the floor beside them. Hazel’s eyes swept down his handsome face to that broad chest, down the subtle curve of his belly where just an inch of fat hung over his tooled leather belt, and the big, shiny buckle bit into it.

“I like my rule,” she said, reaching to put her hands on his biceps and sliding them up his shoulders. 

“I didn’t say it was a bad rule,” he leaned in to put his mouth in the hollow dip of her neck and taste the skin down to her collar bone. His short beard scratched at her as his kisses turned a little more feverish, and his fingers once again wiggled their way toward her jeans.

This time Hazel didn’t stop him and after only a brief hesitation he tugged the stiff material of her jeans down her hips and thighs, kneeling in front of her and helping her out of her boots. A shiver ran over her body - nearly nude spare her thin, teal panties - as he straightened over her.

“Cold?” He asked in a low voice, and crowded his warm body closer. One of his hands framed her face, his fingertips tracing her jaw. He brought her eyes up to his and gently ran the flat of his thumb over the shape of her lips.

“No,” she whispered as he pulled his hand away. “I just feel… exposed.”

He paused for a minute, glancing over his shoulder toward the open end of the small stable, then back at her. “It’s just us, darlin’.”

“I know, but it’s been a long time since I was in a barn with a cowboy, naked and about to be fucked up against the wall.” 

Adam grinned. “Would it make you feel better if I was just as naked as you?”

“Absolutely.” The word was out of her mouth before she even had time to playfully pretend to think about it. Her eagerness made his grin spread, and he nodded his head before he stepped back and his thumb played at his belt. Her eyes fell down to it just as he tugged it’s clasp free, then left the belt open and dangling as he went for the button on his jeans. Hazel saw it then - the lump that’d grown along his thigh in his Wranglers - and sucked in a sharp breath as he undid the button and tugged the zipper down. He groaned in relief as he released the pressure from his filling cock, and her eyes jerked up to his face to see the way that relief looked there.

Adam’s eyes rolled forward and he pushed his jeans down, one hand flattening on the wall by her head to balance his body as he stepped out of his jeans and boots. He was left looking down at her, his chest rising and falling, green eyes so dark they were nearly black as they pooled over her face. She wondered if his heart was beating as fast as hers was. Surely it was.

His body shifted as he lowered before her, his palms skimming the shape of her body as he knelt. He tilted his head back, gold curls spilling over his broad back, and looked up at her as she tipped her chin to her chest to look down at him. His hands slipped around her hips and into the fat of her ass, squeezing and pushing her toward his face. It brought his Roman nose against her pantyline, and he pushed it harder, exhaling a warm breath over the thin material before he kissed it over her clit. Shivers ran through her body again. Her hands landed on his firm shoulders.

Adam pressed his mouth more firmly against her panties, his tongue testing the material, teasing them as he pushed it between her lips but didn’t give either of them the satisfaction of actually tasting her. The tip swirled around her clit, inspiring more shivers down her thighs. She stuttered on a gasp as she leaned her head back and pushed her hips a little more eagerly toward him. As his mouth teased them both by tasting her through her panties, his fingers released the fat of her ass he’d gripped hard into (likely leaving prints of his hand in her skin) and crawled up toward the elastic of her panties. They curled and he slid them down, pulling his head back enough to pull them free, and she could fill his heavy, thick warm breath against her bare skin.

He leaned in slowly, and that warmth filled more and more of the crevices between her legs and then, languid, he pressed and slipped his tongue from the bottom of her pussy lips to the top, then swirled around and teased her clit. Hazel half-moaned, half-whined as her eyes rolled back and her hips pushed eagerly forward. Adam’s calloused palms slipped back to her ass and held her against his mouth as his feasting became more fervent. His tongue plunged between her folds, his lips latched to her sensitive, raised clit. His fingers gripped, released, and regripped the fat of her ass, pressing the prints of his hands in her skin. He released her clit only for the clever tip of his tongue to flick it back and forth in short, quick strokes, enough to make her take quicker, sharper breaths and release louder, needier moans. Her thighs trembled and he groaned against her pussy, vibrating where she was sensitive and a wet mess of cum and saliva. He held her even more firmly against his mouth and her eyes rolled back, lips hanging open but no sound coming out as she held her breath and reached the inevitable edge…

His tongue slipped off her clit and he pulled back. The air was cold against her pussy. Hazel released a shaking, confused breath and dropped her chin, eyes looking down as he looked up, kneeling between her legs. One of his blond brows was arched, lines wrinkling his forehead. He had a lazy grin, and she nearly felt dizzy when she saw how wet his lips and the beard around them was.

“Oh no, darlin,” he murmured, his voice husky and low as he slowly rose to be that warm shadow over her. “The first time I get you to cum,” his fingers were on her arms, gripping and rubbing up before dipping in and fondling her breasts. His thumbs swiped her raised, needy nipples, “my cock is going to be inside you.” He leaned and pushed his mouth against hers and as their tongues tangled, she tasted herself on him. As he broke their kiss and leaned in to leave a trail along her jaw, his nose in her hair and breath on her ear, he whispered, “I just needed to taste you first.”

One of his hands stayed on her hips, the other reached to shove his boxer-briefs down his hairy thighs. She felt his cock tap her thigh as it sprang free, but didn’t have much time to reflect on how long or thick it’d felt, or even glance down between their bodies to peek. Adam was already shuffling in and, gripping his arms underneath her ass, lifting her up off her feet. Hazel squealed in surprise, her legs forced around his hips as he bullied her back against the wall and used it for further support. She could feel the strength in his biceps as her hands landed on their curve, the muscle tense underneath. Her eyes flew to his and the moment their pupils locked, he slid her down smooth and wet on his cock.

A low moan crawled slowly out of his mouth, pushed inch by inch the more of his cock he sank inside her. Hazel held her breath, feeling the way his girth stretched her, until she was sat sac-deep on top of him. “Adam,” she whined, their gaze had broken when his eyes rolled back in pleasure and they snapped forward - black, not green - and met hers.

“God, Hazel,” his words were tight, his breath stuttered. He readjusted the grip on her body and lifted her up, then sank her back down. His hips pushed in as he carefully lowered her on top of him, enjoying each and every thrust. His eyes rolled back as he shuddered.

Hazel’s hands slid up his arms and around his neck, helping him as his hands gripped the back of her thighs. It was getting harder with sweat smearing over their skin and sticking them together. Her legs jerked with every thrust as they started to grow in speed at an almost reckless pace. He poured moans into her ear, pressing hot breaths into her hair. Those dirty sounds lifted into the tall beam ceiling of the stable and poured out of the open doors at the end of the walkway.

He pressed a kiss against her temple and then stilled, cock buried to the sac inside her. Hazel groaned - God, the way his thick girth stretched her - and rolled her eyes forward, chest heaving with the deep breaths she had to take. 

“I’m going to move us, alright?” He asked in her ear between heavy gasps of his own that stirred her hair.

Hazel nodded, and held a little tighter around his neck, pulling her body toward his as he grunted and moved her off the support of the wall. His cock slipped out of her in the shuffle and she squeezed, instinctively, missing the feeling of him filling her. Using his strong grip, with her legs hanging over his hips, he turned her toward the stalls, moving for the half-door that was still hanging open. It was the last stall she’d bedded down with over a foot of soft, fresh sawdust bedding, and that’s what he slowly lowered her down into, following on his knees. Hazel was amazed at his strength and control, her hands sliding from around his neck and palms pressing down the muscles in his arms.

Adam threw a shadow over her, smiling a lop-sided grin as he pressed his hips toward hers and pried her pussy lips apart with the head of his cock. With a grunt he slid down and pushed in, stretching her around him without enough time passed to grant either of them any sort of sanity. This is where they were now, making love in the stable, only the two of them and no one there to interrupt.

Their eyes locked for a few intimate strokes, her kiss-swollen lips stuck open, with soft little cries falling out of them each time he shoved the head of his cock deep inside her. Leaning down over her, Adam put his weight in one forearm, freeing the other hand to chase down their bodies. His fingers found that already teased little red button and twitched across it as he continued to fill her with his cock. Whether he meant to sync the strokes of his fingers with that of his cock or not, he was soon driving her wild, making her press her head into the give of the stall bedding and her fingers to grab a tight hold on him, wherever she could grab.

“Oh, God, Adam!” she managed to get out between sharp inhales, her brow knitting tight together as the pressure built nearly unbearably high inside her. She was so close...

“MmmHazel,” he groaned near her ear, pleasure undeniable in his stuck-together words. A low breath and then he exhaled a gentle command, “Cum for me, darlin’.”

Another circle of his fingers over her clit, a quick shove in of his cock, and a surprised cry was all that could fly out of her lips before her eyes were rolling and stars burst behind them. Her thighs trembled and clapped his, pressed up under her as they were. Her muscles pulled tight on him, her little cries and the way her fingernails bit into his shoulders more and more evidence to the way he’d driven her wild.

A gentleman, he slowed his thrusts through her pulses, gently rocking with each and clenching his jaw, clearly straining to keep himself from losing it inside her. He slowly pulled his fingers away from her sensitive little button and buried his hand into the gentle give of the sawdust by her head. Hazel’s eyes opened up dazedly on the golden curly haired cowboy above her, and saw his slow, proud smile crawl across his lips. If she wasn’t so out of it, she might’ve grabbed a handful of sawdust to chuck at him for how confident and cocky he looked right then.

“Jesus it took everything not to cum with you,” he murmured, his hips pulling back, then pressing in and starting to slowly fuck her again as he bent and pushed his lips against hers.

“Why didn’t you?” She barely had a voice when their mouths broke apart.

“I’ve been dreaming about being inside you-” he paused to groan as a particular slow stroke of his cock pressing deep inside her felt good “-for months now. Call me greedy, but,” another kiss, and he breathed the last of his words tight across her mouth as he slowly pulled his hips back, “I wanted a little bit more.”

Despite her entire body feeling like it was made out of jelly, Hazel had to agree. She wasn’t ready for their lovemaking to be over, either. Even if she didn’t know how she was even going to manage to stand once they were finally through. Adam readjusted himself, pushing his weight into his hands so he could sit upright between her legs. His palms settled on her wide hips and pinched, pulling her slowly, inch-by-inch off his girth, then tugging her back up. Hazel appreciated the new position, able to look up her naked body at Adam sweating, straining, and grunting as he pulled her up and down his cock. Every thrust made her breasts jerk and she watched his hungry eyes jump from where they were joined, watching his cock buried inside her, to her breasts instead and appreciate how each quick thrust made them move.

One of his hands left her hip and flattened on her soft midsection, thumb settling over her clit. As he circled it, Hazel groaned. She wasn’t sure she could get worked up enough for another orgasm so soon, that last one had been so strong. “Adam…”

That lop-sided grin barely tugged across his mouth again and his thumb left her alone just enough to gently press into her wet, just barely able to wiggle in there with his cock already stretching her. She moaned and he pulled it out quick, returning to her already teased clit. He swept her wet over it, teasing her as he started pounding his cock a little harder and a little faster into her. This time the stroking didn’t match the driving of his hips, but even when she would have sworn he must be close to cumming, he held off, instead continuing to tease her and draw her toward yet another orgasm. Hazel could do absolutely nothing to keep the dam from breaking.

“Adam!” She cried out and jerked over him, her skin slapping his. 

He grunted, still plunging in and out of her, tearing his hand away from her clit. Adam fell back over her, driving his cock inside her in quick, fast thrusts. Only a few inches were pulled out before he was shoved back in, all while she cried and came and twitched, eyes rolled back. She was too sensitive through her orgasm for his fast fucking, and it was just making her cum harder. He grunted, shoved himself sac-deep inside her, and then stilled to stone. 

It didn’t and couldn’t matter the way he had her scrunched and fucked into the layers of sawdust - they were both happy victims to their muscles seizing in their body and electricity rushing through their nerves. Hazel felt the warmth of his cum shooting hard up into her enough to make her cry out when it did. He flooded her cunt, filled her up, and then was a shuddering, almost too-warm weight above her just barely leaning off from crushing her underneath him as they caught their breath.

The last few minutes of their fucking had been so fast-paced, lost in her orgasm, that Hazel’s mind took a few minutes to catch back up. It seemed he did too. 

“That was…” he sighed, blinked and let his green eyes find her face. One of his hands reached up to delicately pluck the sawdust out of her hair, then pushed the lock from where it’d stuck to her face with sweat. His calloused palm fell to gently holding her cheek and Hazel smiled tiredly up at him. She felt at peace. Adam leaned down and softly laid a kiss against her forehead, then slowly one on each cheek, the tip of her nose, and then her lips. He didn’t deepen their kiss, but let it linger in a way that cherished the touch. Only when he broke away from her mouth and their eyes met did he finish the sentence he’d started a little bit ago. “Amazing.”

“Mhmm,” she murmured agreement and leaned up to steal another short kiss, still not able to have enough of him. When their lips broke he sank down, a warmth atop her, and they relaxed again in their joined company for a few quiet minutes. Her fingers traced random circles on his shoulder blades, and he was careful where to lay his weight so he didn’t smother her. He kissed her temple, and gently breathed against her ear. In the distance they heard one of the horses snort.

“We should probably get up and go shower,” he suggested, but didn’t bother moving his body off of her or even pull his slowly wilting cock from where it was still lodged between her legs. “We smell like sweat and sawdust and sex.”

“Sweat, sawdust, and sex. It has a nice ring to it.” She said, but couldn’t help but agree. The longer they lingered in the stall the more the pleasure that’d filled her head was slipping away and the more she could feel the slight uncomfortableness creeping in. The sweat and sawdust now made her skin feel a bit itchy, and she couldn’t deny that she’d appreciate a shower to clean herself of it. “But you’re right,” she sighed and lifted a hand (noticing how many little flakes were stuck on her arm and smiling) to gently run through his blond curls, “a shower would feel nice if I could get up.”

“Come on, come on,” he grunted, slowly pulling himself up from her and gently pulling his still-sensitive cock from between her legs. He reached a hand down to her once he’d stood and lifted her up. A grin split over his face at the shape of her body pressed into the bedding, as did the fact that most of her backside was covered in it. Sweeping a quick hand down her skin he helped shake most of it off, and though she was thoroughly exhausted and satisfied, the caresses of his work-calloused hands still inspired pleasurable shivers.

They gathered their clothes that’d been discarded in the walkway outside the stable, then giggled as they ran like children, hand-in-hand and naked as the day they were born across the yard and into the house.

“Thank God I don’t have any close enough neighbors!” Hazel laughed breathlessly once they were safely inside.

“I bet they would’ve appreciated the sight,” humor in his voice that matched the sparkle in his eyes, Adam was still grinning as he leaned to place a sweet kiss on her forehead, then gently smacked her bare ass with an open palm.

She rolled her eyes, but was still grinning too. 

It was strange that even though this was the first time Adam was in her home, it felt as though he’d been coming here for years. They walked down the hall and to her room, setting their clothes in the laundry basket, then moving for the master bath. Approaching the shower, Hazel turned the handle to start the water, sticking a hand under the stream to test the temperature.

“I wish I wasn’t leaving so early in the morning.” He said, coming up behind her. His hands settled like gentle weights on her hips and he held her there as they waited for the water to warm.

Hazel turned her head to look over at him and saw the sincerity in his eyes. “Me neither.” She sighed.

“I could always stay…”

“What about the rodeo?”

Adam rolled his eyes and tugged at her hips, pulling her and turning her around to face him. His arms wrapped lazily around her and he tilted his head, chin to chest as he locked his eyes with hers. A slight frown worried its way across his brow. “I’m already guaranteed a spot in the NFR, I can afford to miss a rodeo.”

She didn’t want to compare him to Matt, she didn’t want to do that when it wasn’t fair to do to Matt… but something in her heart that had been hurt by everything that happened between her and Matt lifted at the honesty in Adam’s tone. Still, as amazing as it was to have him, just thinking of Matt threatened to spread a crack across the dam that held back thoughts she couldn’t afford to let loose while Adam was here. As sure as she was that she and Matt were over, Adam was still his friend and was in his life. Regardless of her relationship with Matt, Adam still had one with him, and they’d complicated that by being together.

Why did the man who spoke to her heart in ways she’d never experienced have to be so close to the man she’d fallen in love with? Why couldn’t he have been some stranger she could run away with and not have to face any problems or think of all the ways she could have handled the situation better?

“You already paid the registry fees and trucked Dolly here,” she said with a smile she didn’t quite feel, but hoped he’d buy. “Go to your rodeo, we can pick another weekend to get together.” Then, she added, “Besides, I want to spend time bonding with my new horse.”

At that, Adam smiled. “Alright, alright.” His thumb gently massaged her hip and he bent to place a sweet kiss on her lips, then again on her forehead. He was full of sweet, sentimental touches. It was as if he had to make up for every moment he wasn’t able to offer romantic affection those months and months they hadn’t gotten to be with one another. Was he making up for lost time? Or could he simply not help but keep reaching for her while she was there in arm’s reach?

“The water’s probably warm enough now,” she murmured, still stuck in the warmth in his soft, green eyes.

“C’mon then darlin’,” he sighed and pulled his arms off of her so she could turn around and step into the shower. “Let’s get cleaned up, put the horses up and get something to eat.”

“Mm, that sounds like a perfect idea,” she agreed as the warm jets of water hit her and began to take the dirt and sweat off her body.

They wouldn’t have much time that evening to spend together. Adam needed to leave before the crack of dawn in order to get to the grounds with enough time to register, unload Dolly in the pens and check which bronc he’d be riding and then prepare accordingly. The way the pair of them functioned together honestly astonished Hazel somewhat. They were in such tandem, it felt like this was the hundredth time Adam had stayed the evening with her at her house.

After dinner they cuddled up on the couch with what little time they had, Carson and Callahan lying in their beds and the television on low on a repeat of a show neither of them were paying much mind to. Instead, Hazel and Adam had taken to giggling and talking among each other, teasing each other as they flowed with ease from topic to topic, avoiding anything too deep or painful and simply enjoying one another’s company. Hazel remembered how Adam had told her it was like she was able to say the things he was thinking before he said them and early on, she realized she felt the same way about him. It was like something in their minds just… clicked.

Like they were always meant to be. They had that inexplicable bond. That once in a lifetime sort of thing that couldn’t be forced. It just was.

Eventually as the night wound down she was lying on his chest, dozing softly off to sleep. On the coffee table a phone started to vibrate with an incoming call. Her phone, in fact, lying face down. It gently moved as the vibrations disturbed it from where it sat.

“You’re getting a call, darlin’.” His soft voice gently ushered. He ran a wide palm up and down her arm to rouse her from falling asleep.

“Mmm,” she sank deeper and kept her eyes shut. It was too warm and peaceful here in his arms to pull herself free. “If it’s important they’ll leave a message.”

He chuckled and she felt it rumble in his chest.

“Well, let’s at least head off to bed then. I have to be up in…” he groaned as he reached to get his phone and check the time, “Ugh. Four hours.”

She made a small noise of complaint that she’d have to move, but let him gently encourage her upward so he could slip out from under her. He leaned in and pulled her up to her feet, reaching to grab her phone and setting it in her hand. Hazel grabbed it as she rubbed her eyes and yawned, clicking the power off on the television and stumbling toward the bedroom. Callahan and Carson hopped up to follow, tails wagging, clearly happy it was bedtime.

Adam flipped her comforters back as they went into the room and only once she was securely snuggled up, phone set face-down on the nightstand nearby did he begin flicking off lights and making a careful path toward the other side of the bed. Carson and Callahan jumped shamelessly up and curled in tight little balls at the end of the bed, warming her feet. She thought of shooing them to their beds on the floor, but Adam babytalked them as he got into bed and leaned to give them both scratches behind the ear as he told them goodnight and finally slipped in beside her. It made her smile and then his warm arm came around her waist and he slid her across the bed toward him.

“Goodnight Hazel,” he whispered against her ear, placing another kiss tenderly on her temple. Hazel hoped that soft, loving touch stayed through her dreams to encourage the very kindest of them and that she’d still feel it when she awoke the next morning.

Hours later - though she wasn’t entirely aware of the time - she was stirred awake by Adam’s soft voice. He wasn’t even in bed with her anymore, but standing bedside, bent over and gently brushing her hair out of her face as he talked to her in hushed tones.

“I have to get going.” Regret colored his tone and through the mental fog brought on by sleep, she barely managed to make a soft, disagreeing groan. It made him chuckle and he leaned down to kiss her forehead. He stayed near enough that she could feel his next breaths warm across her face. “I know, I know. I wish I didn’t need to go either. I’ll call you when I get to the rodeo grounds.”

“Mmkay,” Hazel agreed sleepily, and then groaned. “Daisy needs breakfast…” It was only four in the morning and she could probably wait for a few more hours, but if Adam was going to be taking Dolly out of the stable a flake of hay to keep Daisy distracted at being alone might be kind of nice.

“You just stay sleeping,” Adam hushed her and tucked her in a little more under the blankets, giving her shoulder a soft rub. “I’ll see that Daisy has food and her water bucket is cleaned out before I take off, okay?”

“Mm… mhm.” Her eyelids were already closing despite wanting to keep them open to look at what she could see of him in the dark pre-dawn light of her room.

“Alright,” he laughed and kissed her forehead again. “I’ll call you later darlin’.”

“Mmkay…” she mumbled again into her pillow. “Be safe.”

“I will, promise.”

She listened to the sound of his boots fading away down the hall, then the door jingle before it softly shut and then silence. She meant to listen to every single sound she could catch, even the far away ones out the window. She wanted to hear clear up to the rumble of the truck starting and the sound of tires on gravel, but before she knew it she was already drifting back to sleep. The sheets still smelled like him and she wrapped her arms around the pillow he’d been using and tucked it in close to her body, pressing her face into it and feeling the way her body relaxed with the next breath she took before sleep had her again.

When she awoke she felt confused. “Adam?” She muttered groggily, inhaling and smelling him before she cracked her eyelids open and looked down at the pillow she was still holding on to. She frowned, reaching to rub the sleep from her eyes before the hushed morning came back to her of Adam getting dressed as quietly as he could and giving her a quick goodbye kiss. A smile melted across her lips, thinking of the evening they’d shared. It wasn’t even the sex she thought of first - though that was certainly worth remembering - but the hours after when they’d just shared each other’s company. Even when they hadn’t been talking, Hazel had felt so complete with him.

She shook her head and laughed breathlessly. How long had it been since she’d felt that open with another man? Matt… She sucked in her breath and opened her eyes a little wider. 

She felt open with Matt and comfortable with him, and when he was with her she felt warm and safe and cared for. But those were the good times, not all these painful conversations and lack thereof that had followed. No, the times she was soft and honest with him and he was with her were what she missed. Or when they could be in-person together, or those late night calls where neither of them wanted to hang up and they just started talking about everything and anything, swapping stories and growing closer. Those days the cocky front of Matt Jackson, Rodeo Champion, slipped away and she saw the gentle, caring, sensitive man underneath. Her heart ached swiftly enough that she felt the need to catch her breath. She missed those phone calls. She missed Matt.

Tears stung in her eyes and she cleared her throat and blinked them away. What right did she have to cry? How could she lie here and miss Matt when Adam had been a warm body in her bed not three hours prior?

Rolling over she reached toward her nightstand to grab her phone, turning it over so the screen would light up and show her what time it was. Notification banners for things she’d missed - mainly social media mentions - popped up, as did one for a missed call. She’d nearly forgotten late last night when she’d been just about to fall asleep on Adam that he’d said she was getting a call.

Missed Call: Matt 💗

Her heart sank and she nearly dropped her phone.

New Voicemail: Matt 💗

Hazel stared at the little red bubble indicating the missed message. Every piece of wonderful paradise the last twenty-four hours had been evaporated almost immediately, taken over by guilt. Was he calling to apologize while she was wrapped up peacefully in the arms of one of his closest friends? Attempting to stop her anxious spiral of thoughts, she realized she could be overthinking. The call could be Matt telling her it was time they talked, that he’d taken the week to think about what they’d said and had decided she was right, he just wasn’t ever going to be ready for a relationship. It could be him deciding they needed to give each other a proper goodbye instead of ghosting each other.

Tears burned in her eyes and she told herself again that she had no right to them or to the way her heart felt like it was being slowly, painfully squeezed. She’d spent the night before with her legs wrapped around one of his closest friends, moaning as he filled her with his cum. How could she now be heartbroken over the thought of Matt calling to tell her they should talk and end it all?

But what if… what if he was calling to apologize? What if he was calling to tell her he’d taken the week to think about it and realized he was being foolish and she was right and there was no reason they shouldn’t be in a relationship now?

There was only going to be one way to know what Matt had been wanting to say. 

She looked at the unplayed message, still looking up at her with it’s little red bubble. Her finger hovered over to bring the voicemail screen up where she could begin to play it and found she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t hit play. Not when every breath still drug touches of Adam into her lungs and she could hear his moans fresh in her ears.

**********

“Hey, Adam! When did you get in?” Nick’s voice carried over the crowd as Adam stopped in step, turning to glance over his shoulder as he watched his friend’s approach. He turned to face him and shrugged.

“A little after eleven. I hit the registry table and got caught up talking with Kenny. Haven’t even unloaded Dolly yet.”

“Well that’s good news,” Nick smiled his characteristic large, happy, easy-going grin. He was wearing a dark brown carhartt jacket over his button-up and it reminded Adam he wanted to go back to his truck to grab his. The days were getting chillier and chillier the closer to the winter months they drew.

“Why’s it good news?”

“We kept one of the pens clear by our boys so Dolly would have familiar company. Matt’s been sitting on the fence this morning keeping anyone else from claiming it.”

“I appreciate that.” Adam said with a grin, though he had to fight to keep it through a sudden surge of discomfort that crawled through him at the mention of Matt. He immediately thought of Hazel.

“It’s no problem. I’ll show you where we’re at so you can bring Dolly over. Come on.”

Adam and Nick fell in step beside one another.

“It’s been good for Matt to have something to keep his mind occupied anyways. He’s been getting into conversations with anyone who stops by to see if the pen is clear or not.”

“Oh?” Adam said idly. In truth he didn’t want to know why Matt needed to keep his mind occupied. He had a sneaking suspicion he at least knew somewhat what it might be about.

“Yeah.” Nick said, and there seemed something briefly heavy in the sigh that followed. “But we’re right over here.” He pulled his hand out of his jacket pocket and waved over to where his and Matt’s roping geldings were lounging in one of the temporarily set-up white pipe-fence pens. Beside them was another one, empty and ready for Adam’s mare.

“Hey, Matt, look who I found wandering around the parking lot.” Nick called out as he leaned up against the gate. Immediately his gelding shuffled close, pressing its muzzle into his jacket and whuffing big, warm breaths that made the man giggle. Nick scratched the horse's forehead, ruffling its mane. Adam looked from Nick to Matt or, tried to, but found it was actually hard for him to look at Matt.

His lips pulled in a thin smile he hoped still looked polite and he glanced away. He tried not to notice how troubled Matt’s face looked before he smiled and nodded.

“Morning, Adam. Glad you got here safe.”

“Thanks,” he said and glanced at his boots. “I uh, better go get Dolly.” He said with another tight grin to Nick, hoping no one picked up on how badly he suddenly needed to get away.

As he made for where he’d parked the trailer he found himself getting angry for feeling guilty. Matt never had any trouble with women for as long as Adam had known him. Every rodeo they pulled into it seemed Matt had some pretty little thing hanging off of him and giggling by the end of the night. Adam could be just as lucky too, but all those cute girls with their pretty smiles and admiring stares never really caught his attention. They made him feel nervous and oftentimes the attraction felt empty. 

Then came Hazel, the first woman to make him actually care about something other than his career. Why did Matt have to have eyes for her to? She was beautiful, sure, but she was so much more than that. It wasn’t fair that Matt got to hold on to her like she was something he’d cherish when he got to have any girl he wanted with ease. Plus, he clearly wasn’t doing a good job taking care of her. Adam had felt the way she clung hard onto him when he’d first showed up at her house. And if the tables had been turned and Hazel had asked him if they could date he never would have bookmarked that conversation for later. 

Because the moment Adam had looked in her eyes he’d seen the eyes their future kids would have. The first time their lips had touched he’d sworn he’d heard church bells and the cheers of their loved ones filling the church he married her in.

Adam was sure if he could get Hazel to see how deep their connection was by the time Matt and her talked after the NFR she’d be more in love with him and would tell Matt they wouldn’t work. It was a shitty plan and a shitty thing to do as Matt’s so-called friend, but Adam’s loneliness had made him into something he wasn’t entirely proud of. So be it. He was tired of letting life pass him up because he wanted to do the right thing. No one else seemed to be so worried about doing what was right and they were getting what they wanted. It was finally time for Adam to get what he wanted.

Yet here he was, suffering guilt he hadn’t foreseen. Adam sucked hard at the back of his teeth as he popped the trailer door, carefully unloading Dolly. He rubbed her neck and sighed, deciding he’d do his best to put it all out of his mind that weekend and not act on it. He’d already texted Hazel early on to let her know he’d gotten there safely, and smiled when he got her message back telling him good luck and she’d be watching the live feed of his ride later on.

“That’s what I’ll focus on, eh girl?” He asked Dolly as they made their way toward the pens, her shod hooves gently clipping the dirt and gravel parking lot. Instead of spending his day worrying about how Matt would feel if he found out Adam had slept with Hazel, he’d think about her behind one of the few cameras pointed at the ring. He’d think about her sitting on her couch, cheering him on with her dogs getting hyper at her yelling and starting up a good-natured ruckus.

It made him smile just picturing it.

**********

The rodeo weekend turned out to be a moderate success. He and Nick had run well enough to maintain their leadership spot heading into the NFR, though he’d been distracted and hadn’t done what he knew to be his best. This would be one of the nights he would have talked down about his run just to listen to his friends encourage him with everything he’d done right, or even take their advice if they noticed what he’d missed. He’d refuse to tell them it was because he was preoccupied, but he knew he didn’t need to tell his brother that. After their first run had been less than fluid, Nick’s only words to Matt had been: She hasn’t called yet?

And Matt had felt like he was letting Nick down by having his personal life affect their scores. Still, it wasn’t as if he could help himself. Every waking second was full of Hazel. It was almost torture. He saw her out of the corner of his eyes in the crowd and felt his heart leap and sink all at the same time as he whipped his head to see if he could catch her, only to realize it was someone who just vaguely resembled her.

It’d been wrong to wait an entire week to contact her, but he’d been… Well… He’d been scared. He’d never felt the way he felt for another woman like he did Hazel. He liked women, but not enough to let them take any place in his life beside the rodeo. With Hazel? He was actually considering it. Hell, the way she occupied his mind that weekend she might as well have been there sharing the days with him. 

He’d thought of calling her all week, but the more time passed that she didn’t call him left him wondering if he was making a mistake. He couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that she said he was already hurting her, and how awful that made him feel to know. He didn’t like hurting the people he cared about - the people he loved - even if he hadn’t meant to do so. Maybe her not calling him was supposed to be his hint that she was over what they’d been doing? Maybe it was too late? Maybe he’d already lost her...

But two days ago, late Friday night, he’d finally got up the courage to call her. He’d missed her, and as his heart pounded in his throat and his body felt shaky he listened to the call ring and ring and ring… then click over to voicemail.

When she hadn’t called back right away he assumed she was already asleep and he’d hear from her the next day. Saturday stretched on and on, every time his phone buzzed he jumped thinking it was her, only to feel his heart sink when it wasn’t. He hadn’t been able to sleep. Matt couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this way.

By the end of the second day his patience was worn thin. Hurt was quickly turning to anger, especially when he was so adapted to pushing away these feelings in the first place. She wasn’t even going to call him just to tell him she didn’t want to see him anymore? After all they’d been through? This was why he didn’t date. This was why he didn’t let anything go beyond a night with a pretty girl at a rodeo. This was all the stuff he didn’t want to take his focus away from what was important. This was why he let himself have fun and kissed the women who fawned over him after the show, but didn’t bother to keep their names in his phone.

The fact that his and Nick’s runs had been subpar just proved all those points he’d been telling himself all along. He really didn’t need this kind of bullshit.

Not even a text message?

Neurotic, he did what he’d been doing all weekend and pulled his cellphone out of his pocket, clicking his and Hazel’s last text messages, seeing they were still the old message, then over to the call log to see he still hadn’t missed any calls from her. Still nothing. 

“Hey there, handsome.”

He frowned at the screen, not hearing the voice that’d been practically right in front of him.

“Hellooo?”

His brown eyes jumped over the top of his phone and down at the cute little cowgirl standing in front of him. She had short brown hair tucked under her cowgirl hat and pretty blue-green eyes that glimmered up at him. If his mind wasn’t so preoccupied by Hazel, he might’ve immediately realized that this girl was damn gorgeous and she was looking up at him with a look he knew all too well.

“Sorry,” he laughed dryly and clicked his phone screen back to black, shoving it into his jeans.

“Expecting a call?” She asked, tilting her head.

“Y-” He cleared his throat. “No.”

“Hmm.” She narrowed her eyes like she was trying to decide if she believed him or not. “You sure you’re not waiting on a call? Maybe from a wife or- well… -” His fingers tingled as she gently grasped his hand and turned it, seeing no ring. “A girlfriend?”

She was bold, he’d give her that.

“I don’t have a girlfriend.” The words almost hurt to get out when they used to be so smooth to say.

“Really?” She asked, half surprised, half pleased. “Hard to believe a handsome cowboy like you is single. I saw how good you handled that rope earlier…” She’d gently stroked her finger over the back of his right hand she’d been holding. She gave it a little squeeze before she let it go, a small curl of the edge of her lips speaking to a kind of mischief he was usually all too eager to pursue.

“That’s nothing,” he laughed dryly, “That wasn’t my best performance. You should see how good I normally am.” A little bitter sting at his runs this weekend. He knew he was better than that.

“Oh?” She leaned in a little and he could smell her. Vanilla. Sunshine, despite the fact that it was late Sunday night and there were stars twinkling in the sky above. Nothing like Hazel’s warm caramel coffee and fresh baked goods, which he attributed her smelling like because of her coffee shop. He felt a pang of sadness that the woman hanging on his front didn’t smell like Hazel, then decided that was better and took a deeper breath. The more of her he breathed in, the less of Hazel he’d remember.

That’s what he needed right now. This. To remember who he was and why he did this - slept with pretty women at rodeos and didn’t get attached to them - instead of dating. They didn’t know one another, but he felt like the woman he was talking to understood exactly what she was getting into. Or maybe he just wanted to tell himself that so he didn’t feel guilty about what he was going to do next.

Matt turned his hand so he could hold hers instead of her holding his, then he ran his touch up her arm and slipped his warm, calloused palm on her round cheek. He tilted her face toward his and gave her a smile he knew made most girls weak in the knees.

“What’s your name?” The pad of his thumb skimmed her lower lip and his mouth broke gently apart as his eyes fell to trace the touch. She had the prettiest lips… 

“Josie.” She murmured, his thumb staying with the movement.

“Josie,” he repeated, and his smile deepened. “That’s pretty.”

It was getting easier and easier to forget his pain… or so he kept telling himself. Matt leaned in and slipped his thumb away, holding her face as his lips brushed hers. Guilt twisted in his stomach as, behind his closed eyelids, he suddenly saw Hazel’s face and it felt strange, not tasting Hazel as he kissed this woman he didn’t know.

But she leaned up, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck to pull him down closer and their mouths opened, tongues slipping along each other’s and he remembered to stop thinking about Hazel. He kissed Josie harder, dropping his hand to her hip and pulling her tighter against his body. He liked to feel it bounce off his. Surely the more and more turned on he got the more he’d stop thinking about Hazel anyways. He needed to. Hazel had clearly forgotten about him so he needed to forget about her.

She had probably spent the last week with that other guy she’d met. That's why she hadn’t called him back. She was already off with someone else who could be there for her. His fear had become reality.

Matt’s fingers squeezed tighter on Josie’s hips and her excited squeal melted warm in his mouth. A hiss of a laugh out of his nose and he turned them around, flattening her back on the fencepost as he bent his head and kissed her closer. He had to be kissing her hard enough that the coarse hair of his beard was scratching her skin. Her hat had been knocked back and off at their feet, but neither seemed to want to stop long enough to grab it. Matt’s hands slipped from around her hips and dug into the fat of her ass, pressing her even closer to his front. He grunted as she rubbed her leg on his thigh.

“What the fuck is this?” A sudden voice threw ice water over the heat that was stirring up between them.

Matt leaped off her as though touching her burned his hands, turning with wild eyes to see Adam having come around the corner and stopping short, staring at them both. His eyes left Josie and focused on Matt. Why did he look so angry?

“Mind your own business Adam, what the hell do you think this is?” Matt growled and made a conscious decision to step closer to Josie. He didn’t want her to think she’d done anything wrong, so he put a hand back on her hip and pulled her close to him.

“You’re…” Adam shook his head and laughed, but there was no humor in it.

“I’m what?” Now he slipped away from holding onto Josie, turning toward his friend with a frown digging hard across his brow. All the emotions stirred up inside him were leading him somewhere he knew he shouldn’t be. It was like a runaway train and he was helpless to stop it. “Finish your fucking sentence if you’re going to bother interrupting me.”

“You’re fucking unbelievable.” Adam glanced at the woman next to him, then back at Matt. “What about Hazel?”

“What about Hazel, Adam?” Matt scoffed and took a step toward him. “Where do you get off commenting on my relationship? You don’t even know Hazel, and whatever is going on between her and I is between her and I, you understand?”

They’d drawn in close enough that they were nearly standing nose to nose. Matt had never seen Adam this worked up and it made him even angrier to see it. Since when did Adam have any say in Matt’s relationships?

Or maybe it was because everything Adam was saying was a tangible culmination of the guilt he’d been trying to ignore.

Of course, the fact that he’d feel guilt just made him angrier. Hadn’t he said enough when he’d called her? If she’d listened to his voicemail and chosen not to call him that was all the answer he needed. He didn’t need to sit around moping over it. He was a grown adult, Hazel was a grown adult and even though they’d apparently chosen a messy way to end their almost-relationship, it was clearly over.

So again, what gave Adam any right to comment on it? What right did Adam have to be angry with Matt, anyways?

The tense moments crept by in seconds that felt drawn out into minutes.

Adam shook his head and broke eye-contact first, looking down between them as he smiled and sucked at the back of his teeth. “Whatever, Matt.” He turned and walked away and Matt let him, even though his fist was curled at his side and some rage-fueled part of his brain told him it would have felt good to hit Adam for that look. For trying to make him feel guilty for something he didn’t know or understand.

The quiet permeated the small area as Adam left and Matt half expected when he turned around he’d find Josie had made her exit, deciding her attempt to get a hook-up with him wasn’t worth all this personal drama. He couldn’t blame her, really.

“So, who’s Hazel?”

He was surprised when she spoke up, though his shoulders tensed.

“She’s…” he turned and looked at Josie, who had her brow cocked as she looked at him. At some point she’d bent to pick her hat up and dusted it off before setting it back on her head. “It doesn’t matter who she is.” He tried not to pay attention to the little sting on his heart to say it. “She’s not here.”

“I am.” Josie said boldly with a smile, drawing in closer to him.

“Yeah.” Matt turned to face her fully again and put the anger in Adam’s eyes out of his mind along with all the uncertainties and emotions that came with thinking about Hazel. “You are.”

He leaned down and put his mouth back on hers, deciding he was ready to just forget everything and go back to his old ways. It may not have given him the wholeness he’d felt with Hazel, but it hadn’t given him this kind of pain, either.

**********

TEXT FROM: Rosie

Have you listened to it yet?

Hazel read the message on her phone after tugging it from her jeans. She’d just untacked and cooled Daisy down from their ride, giving her a good rub down before she turned her loose in the arena. Hazel bit at her lip and replied.

TEXT TO: Rosie

Not yet…

She knew she needed to. Late Friday evening Matt had called and left a voicemail on her phone which she’d seen Saturday morning after Adam left. She knew she’d needed to listen to it, but every time she clicked her voicemails and prepared herself, she chickened out. She and Adam had talked a little in text and once on the phone, but she hadn’t told him about the missed call. It already seemed wrong enough that Adam knew about her deal with Matt and everything else, but Matt had been kept completely in the dark through the whole thing.

She hadn’t told Adam she’d tuned in to the rodeo’s live stream early enough to catch the tag roping to watch Matt’s runs, either.

Now it was Tuesday afternoon, with the sunset just a few short hours away. Hazel needed to do the adult thing and listen to the message. If it was Matt saying his goodbyes then she needed to accept the reality that was dealt to her that things were really over between them. She and Adam could begin figuring out how they’d eventually be together and maybe, in time, her heart wouldn’t hurt every time she saw or heard from Matt. 

TEXT FROM: Rosie

Babe…

Hazel sighed.

TEXT TO: Rosie

I know, I know.

Rosie had told her days ago to listen to it and had even gone as far as to offer to listen to it for her. Hazel had appreciated it, but she knew she needed to listen to it herself.

She also knew it was wrong of her to have taken this long. She just wasn’t ready to feel the full brunt of the heartbreak she hadn’t anticipated. She hadn’t even meant to fall in love in the first place.

She almost laughed then, realizing that she’d never even told him she was in love with him and now they were probably through.

Hazel drew a breath and leaned on the arena fence, trying not to think about the day she, Matt, his brother and all their friends had all come together to build it. She shook her head and clicked her phone off her text message conversation with Rosie and to her voicemail screen. Right there on top was his unread message, still waiting for her as it had been for days. Hazel clicked it and felt her stomach drop, lifting to hold the phone to her ear.

“Hey, Hazel? It’s Matt. Listen… I…” His voice was heavy. He sighed. “I know our last call didn’t go great and I know me not calling or texting you hasn’t helped. To tell you the truth I’ve been… I’ve been freaked out. I don’t do good when I’m… well, I’m not used to being scared like this. I don’t know when and I don’t know how, but Hazel, I care about you more than I’ve cared about someone in - hell - forever. I care about you like I care about Nick, except not like - he’s my brother and you… well. You get it. Look, I know I’m not making much sense and I’m having trouble figuring out what I’m trying to say. I had it all in my head and kept practicing what I wanted to tell you this whole week. The thing is, Hazel, I think there’s a chance I’m…” He trailed off and her heart beat so fast she felt sick. “Well… I know I don’t have any right to keep asking you to hang on, and I know you’re right, there’s no difference if we date now or if we date later but… I want to do this thing right, you know? When we… Hell...if we decided to be more official. I want to be there for you full-time, not when I’m preoccupied with the rodeo season. Does that make sense? Maybe it doesn’t… I don’t know. I just… all I know is that I miss you, Hazel, and I can’t stop thinking about our last call. Just… listen… if you still want us to maybe work toward something, give me a call back, alright? I know I’m not perfect and I know I’m pretty terrible at this relationship thing and I know you met someone else and I keep thinking it’s pry better for you to have someone who can take care of you right while I keep making all these mistakes but… damnit, Hazel.” His voice had gotten tight and she realized he was fighting off tears. “I think I’m… I think I’m falling in love with you and that scares the shit out of me. You don’t owe me anything, you don’t even have to call me back, but I really, really hope you will.”

The message clicked and Matt’s voice was gone.

Hazel took a sharp, shaky breath that tasted like tears. The vision of Dolly standing in the far corner of the arena blurred as more tears filled her eyes and ran down her cheeks, cold as they slipped and fell one after the other to the dirt below.

[twocupsofsuga]

His Treasure || 13

Pirate!Baekhyun x Reader - Series

Summary: It’s either on your knees and beg for your life or your walking the plank.

Absolutely NO plagiarizing my work. Moodboard by @byunfirstlady

Previous | Next

You’re dead. You are soooooo dead. 

If Jaebum sees you, your done for sure. But then again, this is what you get for sneaking into a royal’s room. You’re practically asking for it.

Too tense to even shift to crouch properly from your position on the floor behind your desk, you sent a silent prayer hoping the young prince wouldn’t come near the desk.

You heard some shuffling noises as Jaebum walked here and there, presumably looking for his coat. You heard him muttering a few times and hoped that his jacket was not anywhere near you.

He spent a good five minutes in his room, muttering every now and then, wondering where the blasted maid had left his coat.

You felt yourself sighing in relief when you heard him opening his wardrobe and muttering out a, “There you are”, grabbing what sounded like a heavy coat and making his way back to his bedroom doors.

It wasn’t until you heard the doors loudly close that you finally let out a sigh in relief. You closed your eyes and leaned your head back against the desk.

‘That was way too close.’

You shouldn’t even be here should you? You just arrived here not too long ago and you’re already looking for trouble.

Sighing once more, you wait for a few minutes before standing up when you’re sure no one else would come into the room, and your eyes fell on the book again, giving it a frown.

Why does he have that book dedicated to research about pirates? Was he secretly planning something? Did he have connections with those bastards?

You shook your head. This was just too good to ignore. Walking up to stand next to Jaebum’s desk chair, your hands fell on the brown leathered book and flipped the first page, surprised to already see a page full of pirate facts, and you soon found yourself going through more pages. The contents that you read surprised you.

A wide variety of information littered the pages, from the origin of pirates, their goals, ambitions, desires and past historical events. It explained in detail when the first batch of men calling themselves ‘pirates’ first appeared and all the havoc that they caused, always attacking cities, leaving them in bloodshed and ruins just to steal golds, treasures, anything dubbed valuable and keeping it for themselves. Jaebum wrote about how they would sometimes kidnap people as well, and how it didn’t matter if they were royalty, normal citizens, or even peasants and orphans, if they needed anyone for ransom threats or even just another extra pair of hands to (forcefully) help them on deck, they didn’t leave much of a choice for whoever they kidnapped, and how you’d be lucky to even be alive by the end of all your torture.

When you were done with all the basic stuff, the moment you flipped the next worn out page was when you really lost it. Gaping at the bold title in the middle of the page, you did a double take.

Byun Baekhyun

“What in the world?” you whispered out loud. “Why is…?” you immediately read the pages before you.

Byun Baekhyun

Birthdate: unknown

Gender: male

Appearance: unknown

Parents: unknown

Siblings: unknown

Location: unknown

Status: leader of the EXO pirates

Leaving chaos and disaster wherever he goes, this man, or ‘Demon of the Seas’ -as he is often called by most- must be put to a stop and held trial for all wrong he has committed. With charged ranging from murder, theft, and even kidnapping, this individual just cannot seem to be caught by anyone, whether it be by normal villagers, or even official guards.

One of the most popular and feared pirate yet, it has come to our attention that throughout the years this man has been active for, we have received evidence that he is collecting more and more ‘friends’ to join his little crew. No more members to this bloodthirsty group have been added so far, but it appears that a group of twelve has been shrunk to a group of nine from a few years ago, and has stayed the same until today, or until further notice of their activity. There is no update on what has happened to the other three, and there has been no movement set out by anyone who wants to figure out of their existence, activity, or if they are even alive. No other data or knowledge is available on the other crew members other than their ‘captain’.

The infamous group of pathetic, lowlife scums, barbarians seem to enjoy leaving behind a bloody trail everywhere they go. Eyes always seem to be on gold treasure and just about anything valuable they can get their hands on. But I can’t help but wonder if there is something else that they might be looking for, something that holds more value or not. With the research that I have carried out, the witnesses I have sent out and spoken to, evidence I have personally seen, to the strange objects and people they have taken, I have come to a conclusion which might prove my suspicions correct.

Maps, lots and lots of maps, and lots of information on the seas. But as my suspicions just keep on proving to be true, I have confidently concluded what they really want, what EXO, this group of irritating, god forsaken group really desire. Something that makes every theft, every action that they’ve made, look like a joke. Child’s play.

‘Dead Man’s Home’, an area located North from the Island of the Vanished. Just a cave on an island, this place is surrounded by tremendous, jagged rocks that resemble giant spears. With the worst weather ever reported, it seems that the seas and skies are not friendly in this area. There is no light, there is no life, other than the dead sea life and sailors whom have tried to just pass by or hope to reach land on this place, this place is the definition of the word ‘dead’ itself. Nothing ever seems to go in, and nothing seems to go out. If something does manage to get pass the rocks that determine instant death, it appears that the storm and sea that surrounds Dead Man’s Home is just as vicious and can do just as much as a good job in making sure that no boat, no man and no animal makes it through. Those who go there are usually looking for a death wish, but there have been cases, although not rare, of those who have survived and somehow made it out alive, but they were never the same. Too tormented and shaken up from their near death experiences to share what they’ve been through, or what they’ve seen.

But EXO, I have suspicion that they want to go to this place, but I haven’t figured out why. I just need to collect more evidence so I can once and for all what their goals are, and I’ll figure it out even if it kills me. I want to know exactly what it is on Dead Man’s Home that makes them the way they are, so vicious and untamed when it comes to certain things.

Byun Baekhyun, an uprising danger to society and whomever he meets, deemed as a threat to everyone and must be put to a stop. I’ll figure out his secrets if it’s the last thing I do, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make him fall. If there’s a greater treasure out in this world, then it shouldn’t be in the hands of that man. 

You plucked the last petal from the flower in your hands and watched as it slowly fell on your lap, let out a sigh in the process. Reaching down next to you where there were more flowers on the grass, you began to slowly pluck the petals from this one as well, repeating the same action you have been doing for quite a while.

What you read upstairs in Jaebum’s diary was, certainly interesting. After reading the next few pages on Baekhyun and pirates, you could see just how well knowledge the young prince seemed to be on the topic, as his journal, diary, whatever, seemed to be filled with just about any knowledge of pirates there seems to be, knowledge even ranging from many years ago till present time, ever island trampled by pirate feet, every ocean sailed by pirate ships, and every pirate execution ever carried out, whether they were for public or private eye. He even had a bunch of maps and sea charts on his bulletin board or just scattered on his table or the floor.

A little obsessed wasn’t he?

A… hobby perhaps? If it was, an interesting one it certainly was. You thought everyone was too afraid to dig in deeper of the topic of pirates, wanting to mind their own business and not meddle into anything that seemed troublesome, even if it was just small research on pirates. For as long as you could remember, no one wanted anything to do with pirates, let alone do any research on them. What good would it have done any of them? Those who even dared stand up against any pirate would end up with only one missing limb or a bullet wound if they were lucky enough.

Those who weren’t lucky… well, you know what happens with them.

You would’ve read more from Jaebum’s journal, but when you finally looked up from the book and out the window, you were surprised to see that the sun was already close to setting. Deciding it was about time you headed out, you closed the book with a huff and placed it neatly back exactly as you had found it, and slipped out of Jaebum’s room after looking back at the study/library one more time. Perhaps if you were even lucky or found some way to convince Jaebum, you’d get a chance to read from his huge collected of books as well.

After making sure there was no one in the hallways, you exited the bedroom and slipped back into the main hallways and went downstairs, and out of the castle where you spent the remaining of the afternoon underneath a pretty flower tree Jaebum had in his palace garden. You’ve been seated underneath the whole time, plucking the poor petals off of the flowers, thinking things over in your mind.

This was… good… wasn’t it? You could finally get some answers out of Jaebum couldn’t you? Unfortunately not all the answers were written in his journal, just the basics, but if Jaebum had this much fascination (or obsession, you really couldn’t tell) over pirates, then maybe he could fill in some questions you had been holding on to for a while. Like, would pirates have a deeper, hidden secret to why they kidnap people? Do they hold a key role in helping them achieve what they strongly desire? How would one escape from them?

Your head spun and you let out a groan, leaning your head back on the tree bark behind you and just blankly looking off to the side.

‘I’m hungry.’

“There you are.”

You let out a loud yelp as you jumped up a little, head quickly turning to your left where you saw the prince, smiling cheekily at you.

You frowned, placing a hand on your heart.

“Your Highness, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

Jaebum laughed. “My apologies.” He said, smile still present as he slowly made his way over to you. “I didn’t mean to. I arrived just a few minutes ago actually and was searching for you. When I noticed you out here alone I knew I had to immediately make my way over.”

You raised an eyebrow at this.

“Really? Why?”

Jaebum smirked as he stood over you, and to your surprise, brought a hand up to your head where he began to play with a strand of your hair.

“Well.” he said. “For starters, it would be rude of a gentleman to just leave a pretty looking lady out here alone, don’t you think?”

You blushed and looked away, hair strand slipping out of Jaebum’s fingers.

“I’m not one would consider ‘pretty’ but… thank you for the compliment your Highness.” You turned back to look up at him with a small smile.

Jaebum looked at you for a while in silence, and you were worried that you might’ve just stayed quiet, but before you could ask Jaebum suddenly squatted down next to you, surprising you.

“You know,” he spoke, this time in a hushed whisper and you were surprised at the shiver that went up your spine from hearing it. “you shouldn’t think of yourself like that. It really isn’t every day I get to have such a beautiful being in my castle, let alone right next to me.”

you both looked into each other’s eyes. You could feel your heart beating up at his words.

“…Really?”

Jaebum laughed at how genuinely surprised you looked.

“Of course.” He replied, and his hand suddenly lifted up, tracing the stitching on your sleeve, and you broke eye contact to look at his fingers in shock, while Jaebum continued to casually trace patters on your shoulder.

“The moment I saw you, my breath was taken away. It was quite a surprise, one minute I was busy doing my duties, the next, I was expected to have a meal with you. But I did have my doubts, I’ll admit that.”

You looked up at him nervously. “You… you did?”

Jaebum nodded and this time, he looked down. Watching his fingers as they traced the complicated stitch work.

“I’m not sure if Seulgi told you or not, but I had a bit of a rough time with my other wives. So when I heard of you coming along, I was a bit nervous. I thought, what if it doesn’t work out this time either? But…”

Jaebum looked back at you and smiled, and you felt your heart flutter a little.

“But?” you said, when he didn’t elaborate any further.

Jaebum’s smile widened, and he shook his head.

“Nothing~” he said in a teasing voice, which surprised you.

So, the prince could make jokes?

“Hey.” You said, laughing a little funny. “You can’t just say all that and then not say anything. I’d like to know what you really think.”

Jaebum chuckled and turned to comfortably sit next to you against the tree bark as well. He made a mock thinking face.

“Hmmmm, do I really wish to tell you~?”

You laughed and nudged him a little.

“I humbly demand an answer your Highness.”

“Well I humbly decline my lady.”

You scoffed. “Oh really? Then I’ll just have to run away it seems.”

As soon as you uttered those words, you felt a shift in the air in Jaebum’s mood.

“What did you say?”

The sudden stiffness in Jaebum’s words caused you to stiffen up as well, and when you looked at him, you noticed his icy look and shrunk a little.

“Uhh…” you immediately became nervous. “I… I was joking… you-your Highness. I wouldn’t actually run away…”

The silence that followed this time was tense, until the man next to you suddenly burst out laughing.

You watched him quietly as he calmed down after a few seconds, not finding anything funny.

“Wow.” Jaebum said as he wiped away a tear. “You really fell for that. Oh my.” He looked at you and flashed you another smile. “Of course I know you’re joking. Things wouldn’t end up very pleasant if you weren’t correct?”

“Uhmm…” you said nervously, but smiled back still. “Yeah, it would be a little silly wouldn’t it?”

Jaebum’s eyes stared into your own and silent once more, but then he stood up and gave a small stretch.

“Well, I’m feeling a little hungry, aren’t you my dear? How about we go and eat something small before having dinner?”

You internally hesitated, but shook it off and accepted Jaebum’s hand that was placed in front of you and he pulled you up gently to your feet. “Yes, I’m a little hungry myself.”

“Perfect, then I shall arrange some small treats for us.”

Hooking your hand into the curve of Jaebum’s arms, the two of you made your way inside the castle, the sun setting more and more behind you, and your restless mind growing a little concerned.

What, just happened?

Jaebum and you had walked up a couple of staircases and soon found yourselves walking down a hallway. You thought he was going to drop you off into your room until dinner time, but you noticed that you were headed nowhere near your ‘bedroom’.

“Uhmm, Prince Jaebum?” you asked and said man let out a ‘hmm’ and looked at you with that charming smile of his. “My… room is in the other direction?”

Jaebum shook his head and looked forward, smile still on his face. “I know my dear. I just thought that we’d spend a little alone time in my room.”

“Oh.”

…

…

…

Wait what?!

“You-your room?? As in, your bedroom??” you looked at him stunned, but Jaebum just let out another laugh and called over a nearby maid. She bowed once she reached you two.

“Prepare something light for us to eat and bring it to my room immediately.”

“Yes your Highness.”

Jaebum looked down to smirk at you. “Something wrong my dear?”

You stuttered and were about to reply but Jaebum continued to walk, pulling you with him.

“I just thought a little privacy was in order.” Jaebum smoothly replied. “There’s always a maid, butler or guard around so I thought it would be nice to have some alone time as well. Away from any watchful eyes. Thought it might be nice for you as well.”

Your face heated up. “You want us to be… alone?”

Jaebum laughed and looked down at you. “Pardon me for guessing but, you aren’t having any naughty thoughts are you my dear (y/n)?”

Your heart skipped a beat. You told him your name during the first meal you both shared together, and he’s been calling you ‘my dear’ this entire time, so it felt surprisingly nice to hear your name fall from his lips.

“I am thinking of no such thing!” you cried out, which only caused the prince to laugh more.

“Your name sounds surprisingly nice to the ears. Maybe I should’ve called you by it since the start.”

You heart fluttered at his words. ‘Gosh dammit.’

“Then why didn’t you?”

Jaeubm suddenly looked away.

Wait, was he embarrassed?!

“I was never very good with names, as embarrassing as it is to say, so I hope you forgive me, it was never my intention to do so.”

“Oh.” You said. I guess it’s easy to forget names when your royalty and you have to constantly always meet new people.

A thought suddenly came into your head.

“So how did you suddenly remember my name this time?”

Jaebum suddenly looked nervous.

A smirk pulled up on your face this time.

“Did you perhaps ask Seulgi what my name was before meeting me in the garden earlier?”

Jaebum huffed and you began to giggle. “Oh my goodness you did!”

“We shall speak no further into this topic.” He said with a pout and your giggles grew.

You suddenly came to a stop and you looked up in surprise and your eyes grew.

Gosh, you already reached Jaebum’s bedroom doors.

Seeing it again so soon suddenly made you nervous. What if he had found out that you were snooping around earlier? What is a maid or butler saw you going inside and told him??

“Well.” Jaebum said and shot you a smile. He raised a hand and slowly turned the doorknob and pushed the door open swiftly. “Please enter.”

You smiled at him and bowed your head a bit in thanks and you prayed that you didn’t look too nervous or scared.

Stepping inside, you remained still and waited until Jaebum too was inside with you. The moment you heard the door close behind you, you grew more nervous.

“Let me show you around a little.” Jaebum spoke up, grabbing you by the hand, causing you to jump a little, smiling when he saw you looking a little nervous. “Don’t worry, nothing to be afraid off.”

‘Shut up you’d have had me hung if you knew I was in here earlier.’

“I know.” You said, looking at him but then immediately looking down. “I’m just a little jittery, is all.”

You felt fingers beneath your chin and your head was lifted up and your heart beat sped up a little.

He was a little too close to your face. You could feel his soft breathing on your face.

“Calm down my dear (y/n), I promise I won’t bite.”

You chuckled. “If you saw so your Highness.”

Nodding in approval, Jaebum took a step back and you felt like you could now breath with the given space.

“Now,” Jaebum said as he pulled you along. “let me show you some interesting things.”

And interesting things he did indeed show. Who knew a prince had so much interesting things around. He showed you all the things he had collected as memories from his trips from various islands he had visited over time and skillfully hand drawn pictures of some sights he had seen on some of his adventures.

He looked mighty proud when you complimented them all.

It definitely made you a lot more anxious when he offered to show you his private study and library, and offer which you did not refuse, although you had already seen it by yourself. But you obviously couldn’t tell him that.

“I’m sure a prince like you must have an interesting collection.” You said once you took in all the collection of books he had (again). You realized now that you never checked what kind of books he had.

“I guess you can say that.”

You looked over to where Jaebum had walked over to one shelf and took out a book, inspecting the front cover and dusting off the non-existing dust. He opened the book and stared into it and randomly flipped a few pages over. You grew curious over to what he was reading so you made your way over to him and stood next to him. But before you could even read the first sentence on the page, you heard a knock on Jaebum’s door.

“Ah. That must be the mini feast I ordered. Follow me (y/n).”

Jaebum snapped the book shut before you could read anything, and you frowned a little and watched as he placed the book back in its place and made his way over to his room connected to the study.

Rather than going to the door, he plopped himself on his bed and yelled, “Come in!” and you watched as two maids walked in, one pushing a trolley of drinks, the other a trolley of small fruits, cakes, snacks, you name it.

Your jaw dropped. This was considered a light bite??

“Gosh your Highness, this is too much! You needn’t have to prepare so much!”

Jaebum waved a hand. “Nonesense! Eat whatever you can, don’t worry your pretty little mind my dear.” Sending a wink your way, you looked to the side and couldn’t help but smile.

Jaebum noticed and smile. While you weren’t looking, he suddenly shot a glare at the maids, who flinched at the hostile look.

“Leave.” He ordered, though his friendly tone did not match his tone. The maids nodded hastily, bowing before quickly making their way outside.

You turned around in time before the completely shut the door, yelling out a grateful, “Thank you!” and smiled.

The maids stopped momentarily in shock, looking at you in surprise, but then sent you a small smile. They both bowed once more this time to you, and you didn’t even notice that they lasted more longer than when they bowed to Jaebum. But the both stood up immediately and walked out before anything more could have been said.

Gosh, now you were alone with Jaebum again.

“Come here my (y/n).” Jaebum said as his arm reached out to you. “Won’t you sit next to me?”

You nodded and accepted his hand, feeling him pulling you down to sit next to him. You grew a little shy at the sudden closeness. Unlike from when you two were sitting outside, you were sitting shoulder to shoulder now, and he was still holding your hand, and was even brushing his thumb against your skin.

“My chef makes some amazing fruit cake. I really recommend you try some.” He said gently as he lifted a small plate of a perfectly sliced cake with fruits decorated on top. He brought it closer to him and picked up the fork that was neatly placed on the trolley as well.

Stabbing the fork into the cake, he scooped up a small bite sized piece and lifted it closer to your mouth, making you speechless.

“Say ahh~” he said in a teasing voice and you actually chuckled.

You parted your lips and Jaebum bought the cake into your mouth, and you sighed in bliss at the taste. He wasn’t kidding when he said his chef was amazing at making fruit cakes. The flavor was just bursting in your mouth and you suddenly felt so light and happy.

“This is amazing!” you exclaimed, looking at Jaebum in happiness. “I don’t think I’ve ever tasted a cake so light and fluffy!”

“See. I told you it was great! Oh, hold on…”

Before you could ask him what was wrong, Jaebum brought his hand up to your face and your face and your stilled. You were confused as to what he was doing when he even brought his thumb up and swiped at your lips, your eyes widening. When he pulled back his fingers, you noticed some whip cream.

‘Ah.’ You thought, feeling a little embarrassed. ‘There was cream on my lips.’

You were going to reach for the napkins that were provided to wipe the cream off of your lips, but when you grabbed one and tried reaching for his hands, Jaebum brought the thumb with whip cream on it to his mouth and suddenly sucked on it, making you freeze.

Your mind was blank, and you watched as he licked his thumb clean before he sent you a smirk, taking in your dumbfounded look.

He brought himself closer to you and you found yourself unable to move, lips parting this time but no words coming out.

“Would you,” Jaebum said as he brought his face closer to yours and you could see the teasing look in his eyes. “perhaps like to try some other delectable?”

Oh my.

Just what were you getting yourself into?

“Go and look for more gunpowder.”

“Where the hell am I gonna find more gunpowder?”

“You’ll find out once you start searching you dickhead. Go steal some from the village, and take Chanyeol with you.”

Sehun rolled his eyes and let out a groan but did as he was told.

Since they didn’t want to raise any suspicion since the stupid prince on this island had already seen one of them, the group of pirates had to hide their ship far away from the docks so no one could notice them and have any suspicions raised.

Baekhyun glared at the faint village lights a few miles away of him. He had already come up with a new plan since their old one had been ruined since you ran away. It was going to be a pain to carry out, but it was now necessary if they wanted you back.

“Jongdae!” he suddenly yelled, looking to his side when someone approached him. He ran a hand down his tired face and looked at his crew mate. “How long till the next full moon?” he demanded.

Jongdae shook his head. “Close to a week. Think we can make it?”

Baekhyun looked up at the moon. It was nearly full. “We have to.” he said, frown deepening as he grabbed the telescope Jongdae was carrying, looking back at the village more closely. “We’ve lost enough valuable time as it is. I’ll lose it if we miss this full moon too.” He looked at the village one last time before chucking it back at Jongdae who caught it expertly. “Go look over the cannons.”

Jongdae nodded and walked away.

Barking a few more orders around, Baekhyun felt his head spin so he took this as a chance to go back down into the ship and into his room.

Slamming the door behind him, he slumped on his bed and sighed, swinging a hand up to cover his eyes.

He could still make it till the next moon, he knew he could.

He’ll just have to take his anger out on you if he doesn’t.

~Masterlist~

Please reblog it you liked it! It would really help my work get noticed/passed around more!

[ukiyoart]

Soooo I wrote a kinda rough draft story based on my stardew character so here it is :D

Starts off with the beginning of Elliot’s story, then there’s the sound of a foghorn and it switches to Elliot, startled out of his focus. He looks out the window, but there is only gray (see what I did there hehe)

Then it’s Anni, sitting on the mountain with Sebastian. She feels happy as she leans against him and watches the twinkling lights of the far of city she used to live in. Sebastian lights a cigarette, which Anni tells him he should quit. He grumbles that she’s probably right, but smiles, puts it out and kisses her. And etc, something like the mountain scene.

Anni is at first only friends with Abigail, Sam and Sebastian who is her boyfriend. She’s also acquainted with Emily, though she’s mostly just friendly.

Elliot is friends with the old fisher living on the docks, and Leah, a fellow artist who likewise came out to the country to focus on her creative works.

Elliot has seen the new resident of Stardew Valley around, but never really spoken to her. But one day they bump into each other at the supermarket, quite literally. Anni apologizes for hitting him and Elliot says he’ll only forgive her if she gets coffee with him.

“I have a boyfriend...” she says deadpan, but he assured her he only needs a break from his writing and someone to share his ideas with. Anni agrees if he’s going to pay the bill.

So he asks her what kind of books she likes and they talk about books for a while.

The next time they run into each other, Elliot finds Anni drinking in the back corner off the bar, and asks if he can sit with her. She agrees. After a few verbal exchanges, he finally asks her what’s wrong. Slightly buzzed, she vents about paying the bills, and Elliot relates that the most he can afford is his shabby cabin on the beach, but it’s charming in its own way and it’s the perfect place for his writing. Anni thinks it seems like a nice place to live, far away from other people. Like her boyfriend, she says, then starts complaining about how he sometimes seems like he could care less about her. Elliot assures her that certainly can’t be true, to which Anni just shrugs and takes another swig of beer. Elliot orders a whiskey, and they both drink and laugh till the bar closes.

The next day Anni appears at Elliot’s door with a basket of Apricots, apologizing for her whining last night, and thanking him for talking with her all night. He smiles and says it’s no big deal, and thanks her for the fruit. He asks her where she got it, she sheepishly replies that she grew them. He smiles and invites her in, she politely refuses saying she’s got plans with her boyfriend

She goes to the fair with Sebastian and Sam and Abigail. They go on the Ferris wheel and several roller coasters. Finally at the end of the night, they all get ice cream and watch the boats light up the river. Everything seems wonderful, but when Anni gives him a little flower, he is unenthusiastic when he takes it, then runs to catch up with Sam and Abigail. Anni rationalizes he just doesn’t like flowers that much, which she already knew, then goes to catch up too. When she gets home she lies on her bed and looks up at the ceiling, her anxious thoughts catching up with her once again. Does he really hate flowers that much? It was only a joke! Or was it her that he was unenthusiastic about?

She asks Abigail about it, who only says that Sebastian is an independent person, and it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking.

Sam says not to worry about it.

Back to Elliot, he is hanging out with Leah at the beach. She’s painting, and he’s writing down ideas for his story. Leah asks him how his story is going, which he enthusiastically says he’s gotten some much needed inspiration. Leah asks where he got it from, and he asks if she knows the new girl from the city. Leah hasn’t really interacted with her either. Elliot tells her about their coffee trip, and mentions that she seemed genuinely interested in his book, and had some great ideas. But mostly, it was her that inspired one of his characters. Leah teases his admiration of her, which Elliot waves off by saying writers tend to romanticize everything. He goes back to writing and periodically staring out at the sea.

Leah, intrigued by Elliot’s description of her, seeks out Anni and introduces herself. They talk as they shop, then She asks what kind of things Anni likes. Anni isn’t sure how to answer, she starts off with staple things like board games, hanging out at the bar with friends, then gets more comfortable and says she enjoys gardening and watching the fog rise from her pond in the early hours of the morning when it’s still dark. Leah says she would love to paint it sometime, and suggests they go apple picking. Right now? Anni is surprised but goes. They talk a lot and start becoming good friends.

Later Anni and Abigail Sam and Sebastian are trying to figure out what to do, Anni low key suggests apple picking. Sebastian shuts her down, saying he doesn’t really enjoy being out in the sun. Abigail agrees, saying she doesn’t want to get a sunburn. Anni is a little disappointed, but doesnt show it. They decide to play pool at the bar, which Anni still thinks is fun so it lifts her mood a bit. She has a good time, and Sebastian buys her a drink and tells her he’s sorry if he seemed kind of rude earlier. Anni tell him it’s fine and thanks him for the drink.

The next day, Anni goes with Leah and Elliot to skip stones across the lake. Anni tells them about how her other friends didn’t seem very interested in apple picking. Leah points out that not all people are interested in the same things. Anni expresses that she shares a lot of interests with Sebastian, but she wishes he wasn’t so emo sometimes. She brings up how he barely sets foot in the sun, at least not without a hoodie over his face. Elliot says that it’s great to share interests with someone, but in the end it’s shared values that makes them a precious friend. So even though Sebastian will not always agree with you, as long as you share a view of what’s important, you’ll be okay. Anni smiles and says that’s good advice. They continue skipping stones, until Anni gets a text from Sebastian saying “come immediately it’s important!” She apologizes and says she has to go. After she leaves, Leah says Anni is so cute! And Elliot agrees that she really is a sweet person.

Anni gets to Sebastian’s house and finds him grinning in the wet grass with a frog in his hands. “This is the emergency???” Anni asks, puzzled. “I never said emergency” Sebastian laughs, then shows her to frog, explaining how he found it by a little puddle. Anni thinks it’s cute that he’s so excited, but tells him not to make her worry. Sebastian laughs and tells her if he’s ever in trouble, he’ll use all Caps. Anni shakes her head, but laughs.

Next day Anni is working at the coffee shop, Leah comes in and says she didn’t know Anni worked here. Anni explains that she didn’t, she just applied for part time the other day to help with the bills. Leah asks her what her main job is. Anni doesn’t want to say at first, but after some prodding she admits that she’s a farmer. Leah thinks it’s awesome and asks why she’s shy about it. Anni tells her how Sebastian and Abigail and Sam aren’t really country people, and it rarely comes up. Leah asks if Sebastian knows, Anni says he does, but he’s never really come to the farm. He probably thinks it’s just a family business I help out with. Leah is concerned, but Anni says that she doesn’t plan to be a farmer forever anyway, she’s taking an online course for computer science. She and Sebastian might even open up their own business someday. Leah still isn’t convinced, but leaves it alone.

Some stuff in here, Anni tells the squad she likes farming and they are supportive, she introduces them to Elliot and Leah, they do some fun stuff together and become friends. Elliot helps Anni realize there are some red flags in her relationship with Sebastian, not that he is bad but they just might not be the most compatible for the long term. Meanwhile, Anni starts to catch feelings for Elliot, and battles with her growing love for him and her attachment to Sebastian. With the help of Abigail and Leah, and even Sam, she gathers the courage to work it out with Sebastian, and they decide that they should break up. Things are tense between them for a little bit, they still want to be friends but Sebastian is hurt that Anni doesn’t love him anymore, and Anni wants to reassure him but isn’t sure how to make him understand. Elliot finds her crying and she tells him about their breakup, and how she doesn’t love Sebastian any less, she just has realized they would only be unhappy if they continued a romantic relationship. Elliot comforts and hugs her, reassuring her that he only needs time to come to terms with it, and with enough patience and understanding hopefully they can patch things up properly. Anni hugs him tightly, then looks up at him before kissing him on the cheek. Elliot is surprised, but thinks she’s just emotional because of her situation.

The next day Anni apologizes, slightly embarrassed. Elliot tells her it’s alright, that she’s going through a lot and he understands. Anni can’t tell if she’s grateful he didn’t think anything of it, that’s one less thing to worry about right now, but she’s also kind of disappointed he doesn’t think of her that way. She moves on and asks Sebastian if they can talk. He agrees, and she lets him know that she never fell out of love with him, she just realized they wouldn’t be very happy in a long term relationship. Sebastian expresses that he thought he just hadn’t done enough for her, and that was why she didn’t want to be with him anymore. He’s relieved that’s not the case. They seem to get along better after that.

After that Anni continues talking to Elliot a lot, but now their conversations are much more relaxed and not about drama, many are about books and places they would love to travel, etc. Elliot finishes his book, and everyone comes to listen to his reading. He thanks everyone for their support, and thanks Anni for agreeing to have coffee with him one day, without her he would never have thought to write what he did. Soon after, Elliot invites Anni to go with him on his rowboat after he fixed it. Anni agrees, and they talk about his book for a while. Elliot starts to thank her again, then starts acting a little flustered and confused. For once I don’t have the right words.. he says... for the way I feel about you. He ends up kissing her on the cheek to convey his affections, asking her if she feels the same way. Anni happily agrees, and they share a kiss.

Soon after they start dating, making it publicly known. Abigail, Leah and Sam are supportive. Sebastian tried hard to be okay with it, but he resents Elliot.

They all go for a picnic by the lake. Sebastian acts defensive and rude around Elliot, and Anni is upset. She goes to talk to him, worried that she’s hurting him and sad that he can’t get along with Elliot. Elliot stops her, and says to let him talk to Sebastian. Anni is reluctant, but Elliot says that she doesn’t need to fix everything herself, and he wants to help. He goes and talks to Sebastian. Sebastian is annoyed at first, but after realizing Elliot truly loves Anni, he admits that he wants Anni to be happy, even if it means she isn’t by his side. Elliot suggests he let Anni know, so that she can be free of worry and released from her romantic ties to him. Sebastian ponders this for a moment, then frustratedly says he doesn’t want to let her go yet and storms off. Abigail walks up next to Elliot and says she’ll talk to Sebastian. She goes off, then returns with him, motioning him over too Anni. He pulls her away privately and tells her that he still loves her, but he can see that she’ll be a lot happier with Elliot. Anni hugs him and thanks him for understanding. Sebastian hesitates, then embraces her back for a moment, before she pulls away and takes his hand, beckoning him back to the rest of the group. Sebastian tells Elliot to treat her better than he could have. Elliot laughs and agrees, then goes over to Anni and hugs her from behind. Sebastian watches wistfully, but smiles and looks towards Abigail, who nods approvingly.

And so on and so forth, a happy ending :)

[raineydaywrites]

the drought was the very worst

Febuwhump day 26: recovery

Fic Summary: Time heals all wounds. But a little friendly competition can maybe help speed it up.

Or, the story of the first day that Taako and Lucretia spend alone together after the Day of Story and Song.

All three of the reapers were currently on an extended mission. They expected to be gone for a few days "four, at most" according to Krav. They'd blown open a whole network of necromancers, and hoped to eliminate them before they started whatever creepy ritual they were planning for the next week. Nothing too complicated, but apparently time consuming.

Taako was not worried about them. They could handle themselves. But he certainly was put out over the temporary displacement from three of his favorite people.

It didn't help that Magnus was super busy with his dog school and Merle was super busy with his earl duties and Davenport was off on another exploration, and meanwhile, Taako's school was on harvest break. It had been nice, for the first few weeks, and Taako was usually glad to get time to relax and chill, but he had to say that it would have been nice to have something else to do while most of his family were busy.

He probably ought to get dressed and get going for the day. He didn't feel like laying around all day, and moping around about this would eventually just make him miserable.

He picked over the offerings in the closet. They'd gotten so used to sharing/stealing each others' clothes over the century they'd spent together that they didn't even pretend to need separate closets when they'd built this place. And anyway, it was just easier to clean and hang everything in the same room.

Taako didn't feel like getting himself into anything too complicated, so he found a relatively simple sundress and slipped it on, before tying his hair up into a loose bun. Best way to look great without putting much effort into it.

He probably ought to make himself something to eat, but without anyone else to cook with or for, the biggest reward of cooking breakfast was gone. Maybe he'd be more into the idea by the time lunch or dinner came around.

Usually, Krav, Lup, and Barry would come home in the evenings when they could. Sure, they didn't actually need to sleep or eat to keep going, but they usually would choose to. It was uncomfortable to know that they wouldn't this week, to be so reminded to the fact that they were- not like him anymore. Taako would never say that out loud, but it was.

He left the closet, determined not to think about upsetting but irrelevant shit anymore, and made his way the main family room. Lucretia was there. She was settled on a couch, flipping through a book. Taako tilted his head in surprise to see her.

"I thought you would be at the Bureau today," he said. Lucretia jumped, as if she hadn't realized that anyone else was here either, which was ridiculous. Both he and Angus were on break, and he, at least, had nothing else to be doing. He was pretty sure Angus wasn't working on any cases right now anyway, so he should be knocking around here somewhere too.

"No. Avi and Killian have suggested that I'm 'overworking' myself, and arguing with them has started to be more trouble than it's worth," Lucretia said simply. Taako snorted.

"They're not wrong, Creesh," he said, flopping down on the other couch. "I'm more surprised that they convinced you to take a day off than I am surprised that you need one."

Lucretia scowled half-heartedly at him, but she was self-aware enough to know that he was right. There was silence for a moment.

"Huh. Is that my dress?" Lucretia asked, furrowing her brows as she took a closer look at Taako's outfit.

Taako glanced down at it, assessing. He really wasn't sure who had bought it originally, but yeah it easily could have been Lucretia. It was a cut and color that she liked, and it looked just about her size.

"Probably. Is that a problem?" Taako gave her a challenging look, daring her to say something.

"No, of course not," Lucretia scoffed. "I just didn't realize we were so close in size."

It was a fair point. They didn't use to be able to fit each others' clothes as well as this dress fit Taako. But it had been a while since he'd last stolen anything of Lucretia's or she'd stolen anyth- any of his clothes. They didn't have a huge overlap in style to begin with, and it had only been a few months since the whole group of them had moved into this place together.

Taako just shrugged. They'd never been too caught up in how well the stuff they took fit. The only times it was even mentioned were if someone ripped anything or when the size difference was particularly noticeable, like the times when Merle would show up to breakfast wearing Magnus' t-shirts as pajamas.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" Lucretia asked, hesitant.

Taako firmly didn't think about any potential reasons that the clothing discussion could have prompted that question.

"Nah. Just woke up," he responded.

"So you're going to make something soon?" Lucretia pressed.

"Why do you ask? So you can steal some without asking?" Taako shot back. Lucretia tensed but didn't quite flinch the way she used to when he said stuff like that. Which meant it was nearing its end as a useful manipulation tactic, and he should probably find a new one.

"I- I'd appreciate having something, yes. I haven't eaten yet today either," Lucretia said. She was manipulating him right back, and Taako knew it, but he still heaved himself up off the couch, sighing.

"Gods, Lucretia, you'd think someone as responsible and in-control as you would remember that living people have to eat things," he said.

He took the book out of her hands and set it down with the pages still open, snickering when her expression twisted in distaste at the improper positioning. When she reached out a hand to correct it, he grabbed it and yanked her upright, startling a laugh out of her. He pulled her along behind him to the kitchen.

"If I'm going to make something for you, you're helping with the boring shit," Taako announced. He let go of her hands to start washing his own, and started thinking about what to make. Nothing sounded particularly appealing at the moment, so he'd probably just stick with something basic.

"Okay? Like what?" Lucretia asked, washing her hands as well. Taako nodded approvingly. It was great when he didn't have to remind idiots -cough, cough, Magnus and Merle, occasionally Barry- about basic shit like sanitizing your hands before shoving it into something you were cooking for other people.

Honestly, Taako wasn't sure. He mostly just wanted to keep her from wandering off and forgetting to eat for longer, or getting bored and giving up on it himself, and, as an added bonus, he knew it must be driving Lucretia crazy knowing that her book was, at this very moment, sustaining damage to the spine and pages. And yeah, there she went, tossing an assessing look back toward the family room, probably trying to figure out if she could hurry back and correct the book without him noticing.

He grabbed some fruit and a knife and set them on the cutting board nearest Lucretia.

"Just cut that shit up. I'm making eggs. Eggs and fruit is a breakfast, right? I'm not in the mood for anything complicated, especially not for just you and me." Taako hoped playing it off as laziness would stave off any concern. He used to want to cook all the time, and he'd used to take any opportunity to do so.

Lucretia just hummed agreement, but Taako got the feeling that she still saw through it. After all, she hadn't always fed herself properly back on the Starblaster either, and 'Lucretia forgot to eat' used to be an opportunity that he always took, because he liked cooking and it was a great way to not have to admit to worrying about her, way back in the beginning, and a nice way to spend some time with a friend later on.

They were quiet for several long moments, just letting the sounds of cooking fill the room. The silence made Taako anxious, but he wasn't quite sure how to break it. He glanced over at Lucretia, to check on her progress with the fruit, and saw her staring off into space blankly. He went back to cooking the eggs.

When the eggs were ready, he salted them with the No Sodium salt shaker, knowing that they were good, but knowing that there would be just the tiniest tendril of worry tugging at his mind throughout the meal if he didn't.

It was ridiculous, really, that he needed that. He had never made a fatal mistake in the kitchen, and it had been a long time even since he thought he had. And this meal didn't even involve transmutation. But the thoughts that maybe he'd mess up in some different way could get stuck in his mind for hours sometimes. It could take hours, after all, for some illnesses and poisons to even show their symptoms. At Glamour Springs, it had happened pretty quickly, but if he messed up here, made some mistake of a different sort than pissing somebody off, then who knew how long it would be before symptoms would show themselves?

He shook himself, forced his mind away from the thoughts, and set the plates next to Lucretia's fruit. She didn't respond to his nearness, and when the plates hit the counter, she moved her head to look at them only after several long seconds.

Taako snapped his fingers in front of Lucretia's face a couple times, eying the knife she was almost cradling. Probably shouldn't have left her to cut stuff up when he'd realized that she was so out of it. She could have hurt herself. But, whatever, the moment had passed, and it didn't look like she was bleeding, so it didn't matter.

The snapping got her moving at a quicker pace, but she still didn't seem like she was all there yet.

Taako started to hum under his breath, hoping the sensory input would wake her up a little. She'd always reacted well to that in the past.

Lucretia finished cutting the fruits in front of her, setting the knife down and swaying back and forth a little to the humming. She plated the fruit and set it next to Taako's eggs. She made a humming noise in the back of her throat, a thanks without words, and washed off the knife.

Taako still didn't really feel like eating, but the food was made, and it would do no good to waste it. Besides which, if he ducked out of eating, then Lucretia could too, and he didn't want that. She had a bad habit of not eating when she felt bad, which always ended up with her making herself feel worse.

If they had to play Fantasy Chicken with their meals to get her to eat right, then he could play Fantasy Chicken.

They were both stubborn people, and neither was willing to back down, so the food got eaten, and the dishes got washed, and Lucretia snuck back to her book when Taako wasn't looking, but she came back with the book and a board game that he hadn't realized they still had.

"Look what I found the other day," Lucretia said, brandishing the box proudly.

Taako grinned at the Fantasy Clue box- they'd all played a lot of games together on the Starblaster, but some games had been more embraced by some of them than others- like Merle and Davenport with their modified euchre rules once the rest of them tired of playing along.

For him and Lucretia, it had been Fantasy Clue, and yeah, they'd had to modify it pretty hard to make it work with two people, but they had made it work nonetheless.

"Do you want to play?" Lucretia asked, hesitant.

Taako refused to let himself hesitate in his response, "Hell yeah, let's break that bad boy out."

Lucretia smiled widely, a smile he'd missed, that told him that he'd made the right decision.

They set the board up on the floor in the living room, so that they could spread out as needed, and started to play.

The game was intense, both of them competitive and stubborn and smart as hell, but it was fun.

They lost track of time as they played, until Angus peeked in at them curiously.

"What are you playing?" Angus asked, eyeing the board curiously.

Taako met Lucretia's eyes, both of them thinking the same thing, not needed to say a word to get their point across.

 Do we really want to try to take the World's Best Detective in Fantasy Clue?

The answer was 'no,' for sure, but they decided to do it anyway.

He trounced them, of course.

-

The rest of the family made sure to come home at the end of the week, as they each realized that they'd left Taako and Lucretia alone with just each other (and Angus, but he was a kid) for the first time since the Day of Story and Song, and they'd accidentally done it for an entire week.

Anything could have happened.

But when they got there, the only thing they found out of the ordinary were the many scoreboards that had popped up over the week, as Taako and Lucretia refused to be outdone by an eleven year old, no matter who he was.

While Lucretia and Taako discussed strategies to take down the new champion, Angus grinned smugly at the rest of them, and silently accepted his well earned money from the 'who can get them to get along again' betting pool.

[popculturebuffet]

Close Enough Reviews: First Date and Snailin’ It

We’re in the home stretch thank god! Seriously while I do love this show, doing 13 reviews in one day, even as most are easy to bang out, has been exausting. But the thank god is also because we’ve arrived at my faviorite episode so far and.. er another one but at least it has Noel Fielding! That’s really awesome!  This time around Josh and Emily try to recapture the magic of their first date only to end up in one of the good Blumhouse movies, while Bridgette brings Josh along on an awkward first date. Then Emily gets the help of a snail’s magical hat to juggle work and life. Snail yeah under hte cut. 

First Date: 

A fourtune teller is at the fourplex, another review of the series I recently read revealed that’s what their buildings called and I like the sound of it so i’m using that, predicting a weird romance for bridget, who belivies it’s a guy she’s been texing, and sometimes sexting in her words not mine, who she has a date with tonight while said psychic also reveals to Emily that things with her and josh have gotten bland, something emily realizes via a hilarous flashback of them making out while falling asleep repeadtly before both just conk out. Also randy has thunder pants, aka pants tha tmake thunde rnoises and have a giant lighting bolt cod piece. Your the second best randy. Andt hat’s only because Alex is still a character. 

So we have our two plots and unlike previous episodes and one future one the plots.. don’t dovetail. Which I like and I like a show being able to do two seperate plots in eleven minutes. We frankly need more of that. Bridgette has her date and Josh and Emily end up having theres. As such i’ll cover both seperatley. And since their plots a bit simplier let’s start with Josh and Emily.  Emily tries flirting with Josh before explaning it’s because she wants to bring the spice back. After josh bungles his response trying to say what she wants but just.. you know asking emily what she wants him to say which is never a good move in any conversation, Josh does near instantly rebound, texting emily to come to the close tfor a suprise. Granted since Josh, self admittley right after, admits he has no game, it come across as weird and creepy, but Emily appricates him trying and is touched when he reveals his real bring the sparks back romantic plan: a recreation of their first date, which was at a haunted house. Also for some reason Josh thought mr magoriums wonder emporium was a best picture contender. Never change josh, never change. But I genuinely like this: having a couple that while relaistically having a dry spell still lvoes each other: instead of worrying the relationship is dead as these plots tend to do they simply want to bring back the magic that’s sometimes lost when you work two jobs, raise a kid full time and live with two weirdos with little sense of personal space.  So they go and the reason it’s pretty simple is their subplot is the two having a mind screw being chased by various horrors in the house. As i’ve said I feel the series has more of a horror bent at times with some episodes leaning more into that than just goofy madness like regular show did. Regular Show really saved most of its straight up horror content for terror tales, here horror bits can crop up as much as fucking wacky bits. I mean a logan’s run parody where a man dies is paired up with a low speed train chase with a con arist that ends with her driving into a thermortor factory while choking her fake son. The show can ping pong on tone, but it does work.  But yeah that’s why there’s less to talk about: it’s not bad stuff, it’s super spooky including the end bit where their told they died, it’s just mostly the two of them running around a nightmare, that unsuprisngly turns out not to be real and was just the attraction, before a really touching climax when the two finally find each other run towards each other and realize just how horrifed they were at the thought of loosing one another. it’s really damn touching and romantic, and leads to another climax when the two start kissing before getting it on despite the horror house working telling them they have others coming. I’ts a good plot, I just don’t have a ton to anlyaize about it. it’s just really good and really good horror stuff with a satsifying and sweet ending.  On to our main event, Bridgette heads out to her date and TRIES lying to alex for his own sake.. but Alex not only easily guessed she was on a date in the first place but... isn’t bothered at all. He even offers to wing man while sining the firends theme song and clapping at the wrong time. Because he’s alex even when he’s being sweet and a good friend and ex, he can’t help but be just a BIT off.  Bridget goes to meet Ron.. and finds he’s sewn to his ex Joy... like literally sewn or conjoined as they put it. Bridgette freaks the fuck out but is talked by ron into continuing, partly because their getting it undone and partly because Bridgette herself admits Ron looked past her baggage.. even if his is larger, she can at least try to. Also Ron is voiced by Chris Parnell who, with archer delayed event hough i’m watching it again and having stopped wtching rick and morty, I dearly missed. Glad to have you back dude. I’m also unsuprised he’s in this as the man is in everything. He’s a fucking workhorse. 

Anyways Alex happily agrees, has his own brief freakout because bridget didn’t tell him about the conjoined twins thing despite being a room away, but quickly rebounds and.. actually hits it off with Joy. even better than Bridgette is with ron who she soon realizes won’t shut the hell up about hiking. Soon Bridgette.. is jealous. Both because Alex is moving on way easier and found someone way quicker, Joyce shares his weird taste in viking erotica, and because she may still have some feelings left. We saw a bit of that in “Robot Tutor”: Bridgette got jealous real quick when alex saw someone elsed espite them being there mostly as sex pals, and admitted there was still some unresolved stuff there they hadnt gotten past on both sides.  They hit the club and things continue to degrade, with Bridgette even more jealous because Alex never took her dancing. And being that bridg is a musician and loves clubbing and what not, i’ts pretty understandable to be frustrated with her ex talking about how it took someone else to get him to do the worm.. also Alex doing the worm is a sheeer delight. When the cojoined ex couple leave, with Ron once again bringing up climbing machu pichu because apparently it’s in chris parnells contract he can never play an actually likeable romantic intrest, Bridget tries to bail but Alex wants to stay since it’s not his fault his date is going well and her’s isn’t.  Bridgette makes the mistake of saying “If you like joy so much why don’t you just conjoin with her”.. and Alex being alex says “why dont’ I and we end up at conjoin, the place Ron and Joy got bonded in the first place. Ever since 1994, you won’t regret this. Actual signs up there and they are wonderful. Bridgette, still jealous even ifs he can’t stand ron offers to be conjoined to him both in a desperate attempt not to losoe alex and to one up him.  However Alex finally calls her out, as while he’s perfeclty happy for her to move on, as this episode showed.. she can’t stand to see him with someone else, and Ron wisley tells her he can’t be attached to someone who isn’t unattached from her ex. When bridgette counters with the oppsitie ron is suprisingly pogniant “We can detach from each other physically but you two can’t detach from each other spirtually”. WHile bridgette quips about him finally saying something intresting, he’s right. She’s not ready and this night clearly proved it and even if she was she was only doing this to show up Alex. Joy likewise breaks things off. a bit more abrubtly since Alex has’nt been nearly as obvious as bridgette.. but alex himself shows he too still has some feelings when he accidentlya dmits to having written an entire section of his memoir about her teeth. Would could be creepy or you know, standard alex ends up really sweet as Bridgette is not only touched by the gesture, but Alex explains why “THeir all the parts that make up your smile” The two share a look, Joy wants what they have and Ron wants to masturbate alone. The end. 

Sadly this isn’t followed up on yet, if at all if there isn’t more episodes next week, as the next ep with the two in it, the finale for today, has the two in seperate plots that only dovetail at the end. But this honestly feels like a posisble arc for the show; Will the two get back together and work past the issues that got them to divorce in the first place or stay divorced and move on? And regular show, with one exception i’ve ranted enough about and will again, was really good at romantic storylines eventually and this could be really intresting for a number of reasons. I’m realy hoping this isn’t just a one off ending, could be but we’ll hopefully see. Either way this episode is really damn good with both plots , while not intersecitng connecting thematically: ONe couple relives a horrifying mirorr version of their first date while a former couple goes on their first real date with other people since the split but finds they might not be as done as they thought. IT’s a good juxtopision and the whole conjoining bit is both horrifying and good Beisdes having my ship at the center i’ts just a damn good time and the best of the season so far (or at all atain the 8 episodes thing is really throwing me off). 

Snailed It: This one should go quicker as its a much simpler ep: Emily has been working way too much and neglecting Candace, including a crypt based board game they’ve been playing for her job because she’s being a doormat. however i’ts not unresonable since said job gives them health insurance which given their lives, they REALLY need. She’s being such a doormat because she’s understandably afraid if she stands up for herself it could risk her job and they’d loose important stuff.  Emily TRIES to juggle things by doing a charity garden/publicity stunt to distract thigns at the school btu the comination of extra work from her boss and the children not actually gardening makes it fail and candace more upset. Emily finds help in the most unlikely of places: A giant talking snail that offers to let her use his magic hat to speed up time and complete the garden in exchange for some of the veggies. He’s also voiced by nice dude and mighty boosh alum noel fielding in what hoenstly feels like a boosh character got out of that universe, if their not the same unvierse which is possible, and snuck into this one.  Emily accepts, and is tempted to use the hat to do more of her job, with the snail calling her a shit parent. Fuck you man, sh’e sa good mom she’s just making mistakes. Emily decides to do it anyway and it works but she soon finds out using the hat outside the garden ages her while the snail decides fuck it and kidnaps candace by aborbing her into his stomach and making her be his legs so he can get dumplings because why not. What follows is a horrifc and tense chase between the two as candace’s life is on the line and the snail has a backup hat and emily time blasting him only makes candace age or deage, horrifyingly becoming a fetus at one point and a teenager later. It’s ar eally tense well done seen that combines the show’s usual insanity with it’s horror side to great effect Meanwhile josh feels useless since his job is less important, and he feels less important as he’s on call and skipping rocks with randy because apparently that’s what he does on call. Randy gets a great moment though, explaning to josh that h’es like the stones their skipping: he’s immoible and seemingly useless most of the time but when it matters he’s there . He’s there rock. Their support.. and naturally with emily slowly dying from her hat, a rare sentence, Josh steps upa nd saves the day via stone skipping, emily throws the hat in and the fundraiser, due to the madness, sucesffuly buired the scandal and Emily finally tells mr salt no.. and he’s really cool about it just telling her to come in a little later. Things are back on track and we’re out.  This wasn’t a bad one, but it both feels less after the prevoius episode and somehwhat simple comaprd other emily centreic episodes. WHile the snail is a great villian and noel fielding,  like rich fulcher before him, fits into this kind of world nicely. Not a bad one, just one sandwitched between two far more interesting episodes. Speaking of which, we’re in the endg ame now. Next time it’s dog days and weird fucking al baby, until very soon later days. 

[alexamericus]

I did the thing

So I did the thing. I wrote an itty bitty self indulgent self insert piece for Nightwolf. Inspired by doing two back to back 12-hour shifts at work on surgery days. I’m beat and fairly sore from getting my ass kicked by a massive baby of a husky, but today I have the day off and was able to bust this out really quick despite the writer’s block.

I honestly don’t think it’s that good; it’s pretty much a very short slice of life piece that I wrote in about an hour or so, but I am my worst critic in that I am hypercritical of my writing and it’s probably why I haven’t been able to write in so long. I have some other ideas that I’ll get to at some point. And who knows? Maybe the fics will get longer. It’s kind of dependent on my work hours, how exhausted I am, and how badly I got my ass kicked by huskies.

Now for the fic before I start regretting my choices:

It was late at night when she returned to her apartment; close to nine. She pulled into the assigned parking spot near the door to her apartment and stumbled out of her car, bringing her bag and lunchbox with her. She has just finished her twelve hour shift at the veterinary clinic where she worked as a veterinary technician. It was a surgery day, so it was already hectic, but the second doctor working that day was still taking rooms and was fully booked. Alex was in charge of labs and making sure everything was set to go for the surgeries and dentals; so between running all the bloodwork and other samples for the day, setting up the surgery suite and dental table, and occasionally assisting a doctor in a room - she was exhausted. Thankfully, she had the day off tomorrow and had no plans on doing anything or going anywhere. She had a twelve hour shift yesterday (which, coincidentally, was also a surgery day) and was ready to do absolutely nothing but watch television or play video games.

She nudged the door open as quietly as she could and tiptoed inside. She knew that her boyfriend Grey Cloud (known as Nightwolf to most) and her cat Ghost were probably asleep in the bedroom. She did her best to quietly unpack all of her stuff and put it away before rushing through a shower and crawling into bed, hopefully not waking either of them up. Fighting back loud yawns, she went into the kitchen to put away the lunchbox and ice pack, depositing her bag onto the couch on her way there. She’d take care of that cluttered mess later.

As she was moving about trying to put everything away, she heard the telltale “mrrah”s of her cat excitedly greeting her. Alex looked around for the fluffball and saw her coming down the hall, the feline increasing her pace once she realized the person that rescued her from the streets had finally come home. For her longer shifts, Alex frequently left before the sun completely rose, especially during the colder months, and oftentimes didn’t get back until well after dark, leaving Ghost home alone for most of the day.

Alex knelt down onto the floor, knowing that Ghost would refuse to be quiet (or even start meowing louder, potentially waking Grey) until she gave in and gave her affection or kitty cookies. As she ran her hand through Ghost’s soft fur, the cat almost immediately went quiet and started purring and drooling out of happiness, even placing her front paws on Alex’s legs to stretch up and rub against her face.

Wiping the cat slobber away, she picked up the fluffy cat and exited the kitchen only to walk past the corner counter and find that a large person was standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall. The figure reached over to the opposite wall and slid the light switch up just a small bit so the lights would turn on, but remain dim enough to not blind everyone. The man had a soft yet tired smile on his face that made Alex feel bad almost instantly.

“I woke you up, did I?” She said sadly. It was bad enough that Grey sometimes insisted on staying up later than he normally would to wait for her to come home after a longer or later shift, but it felt worse when he did decide to go to bed and not wait for her and she would wake him up with her stumbling around. Their apartment was not big by any means and the walls were pretty thin, so sound traveled more than Alex would care for it to.

Grey’s smile widened a little as he replied, “You didn’t.” He pointed to the cat who was currently kneading Alex’s collarbone. “She did. She must’ve heard you come in and, as she had decided my chest was a wonderful bed, was practically tap-dancing on my sternum to get up and rush out the door to greet you.” He finished with a chuckle.

Alex turned her head to slightly glare at her cat, who responded by lifting her paw to gently pat her cheek and bringing her face closer to lick Alex’s chin. “Why are you the way that you are?” She asked.

The rhetorical question elicited another laugh from her boyfriend. “She loves you, that’s why. You did tame her after all.”

“She was probably already tame, just left behind or got out.” Alex countered. While yes, Grey was right in that she had spent a lot of time rehabilitating Ghost and getting her used to human interaction again, it was unlikely that Ghost was ever fully feral. She had an unregistered microchip and was most likely spayed since she never displayed any behavior to the contrary. Not to mention that, within a few days, Alex was picking Ghost up and putting her in her lap. A week after that, Alex couldn’t sit down fast enough before Ghost would practically catapult herself into Alex’s lap.

Grey shrugged, lightly pushing himself away from the wall to join his partner in the middle of the living room. “Then you helped her regain trust in humans again.” He reached over and gave Ghost some scritches on her cheek, which she happily leaned into and closed her eyes. While giving her much-appreciated pets, he looked at Alex and noted the large quantity of fur that didn’t belong to their cat clinging to her scrubs. “Nice fur coat.” He jokingly noted. “Did you have a husky come in today?”

Alex nodded. “A great big baby of a white husky with a cut on his paw that turned out to be almost nothing.” She explained, letting out a breathy laugh as she remembered having to wrangle this sixty-some pound dog with one of her coworkers to try and get the husky to sit still long enough for the doctor to look at his paw. It proved to be more difficult than any of them imagined as the husky would thrash about after a few seconds of restraint, refused to have the mildly injured paw touched, and apparently was super sensitive to needles. Alex was the main restrainer (a hilarious concept to her as she stood a laughable five-foot-two and was a whopping 110 pounds soaking wet) and had the dog nearly knock his head into hers no less than three times, was successful twice, jumped all around on her legs, slammed her against a wall, nearly kick her in the face with his back paws twice, and almost had a needle go into her eye as he thrashed about refusing to have his heartworm prevention injected under his skin by the doctor. Thankfully, he was just being, as huskies are, a big scared baby and wasn’t aggressive toward anyone. “I’ll humor you with the story tomorrow.” She let out a wide yawn. “Right now, I’m beat.”

“I can see that.” Grey replied. “Here, hand Ghost over and go get your shower. You’re sleeping in tomorrow and that’s that.” He didn’t wait for a reply as he took the cat from Alex’s arms, leaning down and giving the poor, exhausted woman a light kiss on her forehead. Alex tried, and failed, to beat back another wide yawn. Already she felt her body start to slow down and beg her to go to bed. She just knew she was going to sleep like the dead, especially if she got her sleeping aid on board.

Rubbing her eyes in an attempt to not collapse on the floor and just sleep on the carpet, she mumbled out an incoherent reply and shuffled towards the bathroom, getting herself ready to brush her teeth before hopping into a hot shower. Grey walked past her to futilely place Ghost in her cat bed and swipe Alex’s pajamas from the chair in the corner of the room, handing them off to her and closing the bathroom door before Ghost could force her way in. The fluffy feline looked up at the tall Native American man and gave him a sad meow, letting him know how disappointed she was that she couldn’t bother Alex while she got cleaned up.

“The bathroom isn’t a vortex, Ghost - she’s not going anywhere.” Grey told the cat as he bent back down to pick her up again, wincing a little as Ghost started to knead his exposed collarbone. “You need a nail trim.” He sat back down on the bed with the cat, leaning against the headboard and letting the affectionate feline lay on his chest while fighting back the need to sleep. Seeing his girlfriend so tired and watching her yawn didn’t help him at all, having been awake since four in the morning so he could see her off to work and trying to stay up to welcome her back from work. She had sent him a text close to eight o’clock saying that she was just then clocking out, but she still had to set up some things for the next day. It wasn’t uncommon for Alex to stay at work late when she was working a twelve hour shift, especially on a surgery day. He didn’t mind it at all: she was hard at work doing what she loved. Plus, the long hours allowed her to have more days off during the week so she could recover from these exhausting days.

About twenty minutes later, just as Grey was about to nod off again, he felt someone crawl into the bed next to him. Alex had snuck back into the bedroom and was in the process of crawling into their shared bed and making herself comfortable for the night, throwing the blankets over herself and all but melting into the mattress, finally able to completely relax for the day.

Ghost wriggled away from Grey and went over to Alex, meowing and sniffing at her face. The cat’s whiskers tickled her face made Alex pull a face and open her eyes, giving a displeased noise. “Your breath stinks, kitty.”

“She does get fish flavored wet food twice a day.” Grey reminded her, grinning. He turned onto his side to face her, watching her as she scrunched her noise at the smell.

“Stinky.” Alex mumbled into her pillow, hiding her nose away from the stench of Ghost’s breath. “Stink kitty. Nasty.”

“Now, now - don’t be mean.” Grey lightly scolded wrapping an arm around Alex’s waist and gently pulling her closer to him. As he did, Ghost flitted around the bed trying to find a spot to snuggle up and sleep, occasionally batting at their feet under the blankets as they shifted positions to get comfortable. She eventually found her spot behind Alex’s knees. Grey laid down on his back and let Alex scoot closer to him, snuggling up to his side once she found a comfortable position, placing her hand on his chest - just over his heart - while he wrapped his around her shoulders, giving her a small hug. Alex gave a low, satisfied hum as she basked in the warmth he always seemed to radiate, beginning to drift off.

Grey rested his head against Alex’s, brushing his thumb against her shoulder. “Get some sleep.” He said softly, giving her one more kiss on the forehead. “You earned it.”

There was only a hum for a reply as Alex snuggled against him, nestling herself in his embrace. Grey used his free hand and tugged one of the blankets further up to provide her with more warmth and comfort, a soft look on his face when he saw it was the blanket she had made for him as a Christmas present. Sighing at the fond memory, he looked over to her and watched her as her eyes began to close.

Just before she slipped into her dreams, Alex softly said, “I love you Grey.”

Grey smiled as he felt his heart swell a little bit. “I love you too.”

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Two Hundred Ninety-Five: Out to Dinner ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Hyūga Hiashi, Hyūga Hanabi ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

Well...today’s the day.

And he has...no idea what he’s supposed to do.

They arrange to meet in the early afternoon, Hinata promising her father she’d use the morning to tend to some of her homework before taking the rest of the day off. Hiashi agreed, and so Sasuke arrives at her house at about two in the afternoon. And even after several hours to sit and think about it, he still has little to go on in regards to what a date is really...supposed to be. A few minutes are spent sat in the car, nibbling his lip in thought.

...now or never.

Getting out of the driver’s side, he gives the house a once-over. It’s a two story white craftsman, on a large corner lot with a sizeable, well-kept yard. All it needs is a picket fence and you’d see it in one of those magazines housewives are always drooling over. He’d know: Mikoto always has one lying around someplace, dreaming of remodeling their house.

Walking up the path to the front door, he gives the bell a ring. He texted Hinata five minutes before he arrived, but...well, he’s expecting someone else to answer the door.

And it turns out, he’s right.

Hiashi is who pulls it open, beholding Sasuke properly for the first time. Sasuke, in turn, does his best to stand in some manner that doesn’t look forced, but not too relaxed, either.

“...sir.”

“You must be Sasuke,” the Hyūga muses.

“Yes, sir.”

“...you needn’t call me sir. Mister Hyūga is polite enough.”

“Er...right. Is, uh...is Hinata ready…?”

“I believe she is finishing up. You may come in to wait, if you wish.”

“...thanks.” Stepping in to a tiled entryway, Sasuke just sort of...lingers, not daring to get his shoes on any carpet. The interior, like the exterior, is mostly white: everything is greyscale, light and airy. It’s...probably the nicest house he’s ever been in. His own is nothing to sneeze at, but...wow. This place is nice.

Hands in his pockets, he watches as Hiashi retreats out of sight. Well...so much for making small talk. But maybe he’s glad for it, honestly. They haven’t exactly gotten off to a good start…hopefully Hinata won’t take too much longer.

But before she comes downstairs, another person walks past: her little sister, Hanabi, who Sasuke has heard...very little about. Looking very much like her father with the same face shape and hair shade, she pauses as she catches sight of him.

...there’s an awkward moment of staring.

“...you Hinata’s boyfriend?” she asks, speaking past a stick of pocky in her mouth.

“Uh...yeah. That’s me.”

“...you’re hotter than I thought you’d be.”

As Sasuke balks, she breaks into a laugh, waving a hand and continuing on through the house.

...what was that?!

It’s then Hinata comes down the stairs, slowing to a stop as she catches his expression. “...are you okay?”

“...yeah. Just...met your sister.”

Understanding seems to brighten her face. “Oh...that explains it. She say anything...weird?”

“...she thinks I’m hot.”

She can’t stop a snort. “Yeah, that’s...Hanabi for you. She’s in that weird eighth grader stage.”

From another room, the younger sister calls, “I HEARD THAT!”

Hinata just rolls her eyes. “Ready to go?”

“I think so.”

“Okay...let me go say goodbye to my dad, then we can head out!”

“No need.”

Hiashi then rounds the corner, Hinata looking a bit surprised. “Oh! Well...Dad, this is Sasuke, Sasuke...this is my dad, Hiashi.”

“We had a...brief introduction when he arrived,” the patriarch assures her. “So, I suppose this is where I set the boundaries? Home by ten, and do call if you have any major changes in plans. Which...would be?”

“Uh...thought we’d go hang out at the mall, maybe catch a movie and some dinner…?” Sasuke shrugs.

Amusement flickers Hiashi’s lips for just a moment. “Agreeable. Do be careful, Hinata.”

“I will. See you when I get back.”

The teens then make their way back outside and into Mikoto’s SUV. As Sasuke does up his seatbelt, he mumbles, “...that was the most awkward introduction I’ve ever had in my life.”

Hinata can’t help a giggle. “I’m sorry...m-my dad’s really...stiff. He’s too serious, but...he tries.”

“He didn’t hate me?”

“If he hated you, we wouldn’t be in the car right now.”

“...okay then. So, uh...mall sound good to you? I...really have no idea what else to do. It’s where I go to bum around with Naruto most of the time.”

“Sure! In all honesty...I don’t even know what movies are playing right now…”

“Then we’ll both be surprised.” Backing from the driveway, Sasuke steers the car toward downtown, the mall soon looming before them. Once parked in the garage, they head up into the building proper. “Got any favorite places to browse?”

“A few, but...they’re mostly for clothes. I don’t want to b-bore you.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Um...there’s also a neat bookstore, with board games and stuff?”

“I think I know that one...should we start there?”

“Sure!”

They mosey, taking their time and window shopping on the way. Sasuke very rarely goes in most of the shops in the mall, preferring to just walk around and people watch, maybe peruse things in the displays. His allowance pays okay, but he prefers to save and splurge on stuff for his PC or games for his Playstation.

The bookstore is pretty busy, filled mostly with younger kids. But that doesn’t stop Hinata from looking over their puzzles and books, Sasuke observing a model train do its laps alongside a few tykes.

Without him looking, Hinata takes a small video of it, smiling behind her phone.

In the end she buys a few new books, Sasuke finding an old school PC game he used to play in elementary school to splurge on. Sheepishly explaining the educational title to her, he glances over as she giggles.

“I remember that one! It was on the computers in the library!”

“Yeah! I didn’t think you could find it anymore...maybe it won’t even play on my computer, but it was only ten bucks...might as well try.”

“Mhm!”

From there, they go to the in-mall cinema, picking a movie at random based on the posters. It’s a comedy, the pair sharing some overpriced candy and popcorn. Sasuke quickly grows a bit bored, but gets a kick out of Hinata paying rapt attention and laughing every few seconds.

...she’s so cute.

After that, they wander a little longer, Hinata dragging him into a rather...eclectic place with weird clothes, crystals, incense, and fancy glass sculptures.

“Oh, wow...look at that one!” Hinata points to a lion posed atop a rock. “It’s so pretty…!”

“You like lions?”

“I was...a big Lion King fan as a kid.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm!” She gives him a glance. “What about you?”

“Me?”

“Everyone has the Disney movie from when they were a kid. What was yours?”

“Actually, it was uh...The Black Cauldron.”

“Really?! That one was so scary!”

“Yeah, that’s why I liked it! No one else really seemed to, though...my brother was all about Hercules.”

“Aww, I love that one…”

“...you gonna buy that, then?”

“Oh gosh, no...it’s way too expensive.”

“...what if I go in half?”

“Sasuke, no!”

“You want it, don’t you?”

“W-well, yeah! But -?”

“I’ll pay half.”

Torn between stubborn refusal and longing, she bites her lip before giving in. “...oh, okay! But I owe you.”

“Whatever you say.”

Once the fragile artwork is carefully wrapped and put in a box, the pair make their way to the few restaurants on the main floor. “What sounds good?”

“Anything, really...that popcorn didn’t fill me up at all!”

They head into a grill, ordering and chatting as they wait.

“Are you nervous about state?”

“...yeah, kinda. Mostly I’m just psyched we’re going, but...now that we’re going? I wanna go all the way.”

“I bet you will.”

“I dunno...there’s a lot of good teams. But we’ll sure try.”

“I’ll be there to cheer you on, okay? Sakura said she’d go with me, since she and Naruto finally g-got together.”

Sasuke pauses for a moment. “...that doesn’t bother you?”

“...should it?”

“You liked him for a long time.”

“...well, I’m not what he wanted. And that’s okay.” She gives him a shy smile. “...and you liked me for a long time, so...m-maybe it’s only fair.”

“Is that why you asked me out?”

“No! Well...maybe partially. But also because I like you, and...I w-want to give this a try.” After a small hesitation, she puts a hand atop his own on the table, earning a small blush.

“...o-okay.”

After going out for dinner (and Hinata indulging in dessert, which Sasuke skips with his lack of a sweet tooth), they wander a little longer to let their meals settle. Then back to the car they head, both clearly disappointed the evening is almost over.

“...well, did you have fun?” he asks, maneuvering out of the garage.

“I did...a lot, actually. And thank you again for the lion...I am going to pay you back for that!”

“You can try,” he teases.

Pulling along the curb at her house, Sasuke walks her up to the door, hands in his pockets as she carries her few bags from her shopping.

“...thank you for taking me,” she eventually offers as they idle.

“Yeah, well...thanks for asking me,” Sasuke counters with a hint of a grin. “...it was really nice.”

“Would you...w-want to do it again sometime? Well...maybe something different, I mean, but another...d-date?”

“...I think I would. We’ll, uh...plan a bit more next time.”

Hinata giggles. “...okay.”

...another silence blooms.

“...well...I better get inside…”

“Yeah, I gotta get home, too.”

“Text me when you get home, so...I know you made it okay?”

“Sure.”

After another pause, Hinata hesitates for a moment before swooping forward atop the step. Lips give a press to Sasuke’s cheek, which quickly blooms red. “...goodnight.”

“...night,” he manages to reply, watching her head in. Blinking a few times, he then dares to grin, walking on air to the car.

...maybe this whole date thing isn’t so bad.

                                                                 .oOo.

     (This is a sequel to days 149, 168, 183, 271, 287, and 294!)      hhhhh I have an early morning tomorrow and now it's 2am BUT I GOT THIS DONE xD More of the sports verse: they're on a date! Finally! And neither of them know what they're doing, lol - but at least they had fun x3      Anyway I REALLY gotta go, so...thanks for reading!

[abigailmaitland]

Andi Mack 4B Plots

My 4A Plots

Trigger Warning for depression - nothing too dark, but it is a significant plot of this season.

Extra 4A plot to be nestled somewhere before the finale:

Halloween!

The GHC & Co. trying to decide whether they’re too old to go trick or treating. Intense debate with Cyrus, Andi, and Marty on one side, TJ, Buffy, and Jonah are on the other.

“How can you be too old for free candy?!” Cyrus exclaims.

“I’ve always hated dressing up,” Jonah rolled his eyes.

“Halloween is the best time to practice sewing!” Andi expresses.

“I hate sewing,” Buffy groans. “Besides, I’m trying to put my dentist out of business.” 

“It just seems like none of you want to have any fun.” Marty says.

“I’m on the high school basketball team. I have an image to keep.” TJ crosses his arms.

“Is the image a boring, funsucker? Because you’re nailing it,” Marty teases.

Eventually the opposing group crumbles underneath the pressure of their friends and free candy. Planning their route is also intense - Cyrus definitely has maps of Shadyside and a detailed house list of who gives the best candy with averages he’s kept throughout the years.  

The Crafty Crew joins them for trick & treating. 

Cyrus dresses up as Waldo. 

Andi makes a ‘cereal killer’ costume, including a cereal box skirt, blood, the whole shebang. Even Cyrus groans at the pun (but secretly high fives her). 

Buffy goes as Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Marty goes as Fred from Scooby Doo. Buffy says he was supposed to be Spike from BVS, Marty laughs and says he thought Buffy and Fred were a better match.

Jonah puts those fake vampire fangs in and some fake blood on his face. Buffy chases him around all night. TJ dresses up as a failed math test because it’s the scariest thing he can think of. 

Walker dresses as Miles Morales & Libby dresses as Hawkeye (we deserved a deaf hawkeye!) 

And finally, the episode ends with an intense candy trading session. Lots of smiles, laughs, and friendship/couple moments. Halloween episodes should always be the most lighthearted!

4B.

Episode One.

Bex is laying in bed. She’s awake, but she’s not doing anything but staring. Her phone goes off and it’s revealed to be 3pm. Andi’s calling. Bex hesitates, then answers. “Mom - are you okay? You were supposed to pick me up fifteen minutes ago.” 

Bex shuts her eyes, then opens them again. Suddenly, energy is in her voice. “Oh yeah - you know me, just running late. Traffic! I’ll be there soon, Andiman.” she hangs up quickly, she sighs. Her eyes are distant. She rushes to get ready, throwing on whatever she can, v messy, not caring how she looks.

Next scene Bowie is seen in a restaurant kitchen cooking. They ask him if he can stay late - he says no, he’s got to be at Red Rooster Records for the open mic night, revealing that he is working two jobs to try to start saving, referencing the potential for a second child (as Bex listed financial fears as a main reason).

We see Jonah’s apartment when he invites Cyrus over to hang out. Jonah says “it’s kind of small,” but Cyrus smiles and says “You know, it’s actually cozy. My house can be so...lonely.” Jonah kind of scoffs and rolls his eyes, muttering something about rich kid perspectives. He admits he had to get rid of a lot of stuff, including his old baseball gear and complains that he can’t play his guitar after a certain hour because his neighbors complain because the walls are basically paper thin. “Basically, don’t say anything you don’t want Dave to hear. He’s basically a member of the family at this point.”

Bex is off on the drive home with Andi. Andi’s talking non-stop about school events and how she failed the last project (revealed in the 4a finale) and how she needs to improve, but she feels so out of place in the school. Bex is saying “yeah” and “mhmmm”, barely listening. When they get home, instead of cooking, Bex orders pizza but doesn’t really eat much. Andi starts to get worried and asks if Bex is okay, but Bex just says she thinks she’s getting sick. Bowie comes home exhausted and both him and Bex fall asleep on the couch during a movie that they were supposed to watch as a family.

Cyrus is a little bothered by “the rich kid perspective” comment and tries to analyze how much his upbringing colors his opinions. The next day, he’s talking about it with Buffy and Andi at The Spoon and how he’s worried that he gives off entitled-rich kid vibes. They laugh and say sometimes he’s oblivious and dumb with money, but he’s not entitled. Andi complains about how tired Bowie always is now and then mentions how strange Bex was acting yesterday. Cyrus’s brain jumps to the worst possible conclusions. Buffy has to reassure Andi that everything is probably okay. As a distraction, she talks about how happy her parents are to be back together and shows off goofy pictures of them. She says her father hasn’t stopped talking about her mom in church since she’s gotten back. GHC smiles.

Episode Two.

Bex’s work has started to get a little sloppy and customers are leaving bad reviews. Celia presses into Bex, saying she didn’t invest so much money into this business just for Bex to get lazy. Bex sighs, shakes her head. “Reschedule my appointments for tomorrow, mom. I think I’m sick.” Celia’s eyes widen, as if she suddenly understands something. Bex goes home and slips back into bed. She doesn’t really go to sleep, but just scrolls her phone aimlessly.

Now that TJ is out at school, Cyrus asks him if he’s going to introduce him to his parents as his boyfriend. TJ awkwardly laughs and says “I should, shouldn’t I?” Cyrus nods. “But if it helps, we can have dinner as boyfriends with my parents first?” TJ’s eyes widen. “All of them? At once?!” Cyrus laughs. “No, we can do dinner at one house and dessert at the other?” TJ nods. “Uh, yeah okay.” Cyrus holds TJ’s hand. “Come on, Teej, you have nothing to worry about. They already love you.”

Jonah bumps into Amber in the hall and brings her to a quiet spot in the hallway. He grins and says he’s going to therapy. Amber asks him how it’s going and he shrugs, but doesn’t seem upset. He says “it sucks, but you know...it really does help. I really didn’t like it at first and didn’t talk, but he asked me to play some music the other week and that helped break the ice,” Jonah explained. Amber smiles and hugs him. “Congratulations, Jojo. I’m proud of you.” He asks how she’s doing. Amber says she’s getting there, but that she wished she was a freshman again because she’s struggling with her AP classes, driver’s ed, her job, and her family issues. He said it sounded like a lot, but that he’d try to be there for Amber because she was there for him. Amber nods and says she’ll keep that in mind. Suddenly, there’s a security guard telling them they have detention for skipping class.  At first, Jonah and Amber look at each other scared, then they crack up at the situation they’ve gotten themselves in.

Andi comes home and sees Bowie sitting with Bex in the bedroom. She overhears Bowie comforting her and then hears Bex saying “I don’t want Andi to know…” Andi freaks out, texting the GHC group chat saying something is wrong with her mom.

Episode Three.

Friendsgiving episode! GHC + Crafty Crew all get together at Andi’s apartment a week before Thanksgiving and have a huge feast. Cyrus put together a spreadsheet and organized who brought what. Buffy and Marty have a competition to make the best dessert. Jonah buys store-bought microwavable mashed potatoes. Andi decorates the entire space and Bowie makes the turkey. TJ brings the BEST Green Bean Casserole and everyone bothers him the entire episode to give up the recipe. They give each other updates; like the dinner with Cyrus’ parents went really well, Jonah and Amber talk about how their detention teacher hated them because they kept laughing, Buffy talks about her parents, etc. Everyone also shares traditions their family does for the holiday.

Walker says that his family covers the table with paper and everyone writes/doodles what they’re thankful for throughout the meal. They then hang it up until it’s time to decorate for Christmas. 

Libby says her family go on a long walk after dinner with each other.

TJ says his whole family plays football together before and after dinner.

Cyrus says he has several Thanksgivings and too many traditions to name - but his favorite is his mom’s side, who volunteers first and then have a small meal afterwards.

Buffy says after dinner they decorate for Christmas, which is her parent’s favorite holiday.

Jonah says they play a bunch of different board games and family games.

Amber says that her family doesn’t argue for the whole day - and also watches old home movies.

They ask Andi what traditions her family has. She seems upset and explains that they used to go to pop’s family and celebrate, but now they have to make new traditions without him because he left them. Everyone comforts her. Bowie overheard and tells Bex - they both want to give Andi the best Thanksgiving in the world. Bex tells Bowie that “all this family drama is why I don’t want Andi to know…” 

Episode Four.

Cece takes Andi out for a bonding day, saying that she’s been missing her. Andi says she misses her too. They go to an art museum and have lunch where Andi talks to Cece about not doing well in SAVA and maybe she’s not great at art like everyone thought. Cece tells Andi that when she was a toddler, she grabbed a pack of crayons and for weeks, she wouldn’t put them down. Cece would catch Andi awake at night DRAWING. Andi would fall asleep with a pack of crayons cuddled close to her. She’d color in the car, at restaurants, in the bathtub with bath crayons, everywhere she could. “And that first year you went to camp, I’ll never forget how excited you were about crafts...Andi, I don’t think you’re bad at art. I think you think you’re bad at art which is making you bad at art.”

Andi says “wow…” and knows that Cece is right. SAVA wouldn’t have chosen her otherwise. They go out to have Fro-yo and Cece asks how Andi is doing at home. Andi tells Cece that it’s been weird having Bowie working so much and then mentioned that Bex is acting strange too. She asked Cece if she knew anything about that and Cece nods. “Yes, but it’s your mother’s choice to tell you.” Andi complains that no one’s ever told her anything. 

Cece rolls her eyes and then says “Well I have important news. My dad is moving in with me.”

Andi asks “Wait, why? Is everything okay?”

“He’s okay, yes. He’s still healthy, especially for his age - but,” Cece pauses. “You know, he misses you and Bex. He’s been spending so much time with Mei and Ling and the twins and Ronald, he thought it’d be a nice surprise.” “Yeah, it has been awhile since we’ve seen him, but...he doesn’t need to move in with you. He could just visit, couldn’t he?”

“I asked him too.” “Why?”

“I thought it’d be good to have someone in the house. I know you, Cyrus, and Buffy still have sleepovers there, but it’s just been too empty for too long. I know how important Andi Shack is to you and how important the house is to your mom, so I decided to keep it.”

“Oh. Cece - I’m sorry. I guess I got caught up in my own stuff again…” Andi says, hugging Cece.

“It’s okay. You’re the child, remember?”

Cece drops Andi off. She calls Bex outside and they close the door. 

“Rebecca,” Cece says. Bex avoids her eyes and focuses on the ground, her nails pressing into her skin. You think it’s going to be a lecture, Bex thinks it’s going to be a lecture, but Cece pulls Bex into a hug. “Andi’s worried about you. You need to talk to her.”

Plot B of this episode is Buffy and Cyrus hanging out at Buffy’s house. We’re introduced to Buffy’s father (headcanon: he’s black. I know sofia is mixed, but I think it’d be cool to have men of color in the show). He wears a cross necklace and is clearly religious, but Cyrus never feels uncomfortable mentioning his boyfriend TJ. Buffy’s father treats Cyrus with nothing but love, honestly, and mentions that he’s the son they never had while eating dinner.

Episode Five.

Jonah reveals that he’s gotten a job as a cashier at The Red Rooster. He’s not immediately great at it, which causes a spike in his anxiety, but instead of having a panic attack he’s able to ground himself using techniques his therapist taught him.

Andi’s teacher, the one who was critical about her art, notices a huge change in Andi and her work and compliments her new project, stating that she knew Andi had it in her. Walker, Libby, and Andi all celebrate together at The Spoon.

Buffy & TJ hang out - they play basketball and get to know each other better. “I don’t think we’ve ever hung out without Cyrus,” TJ laughs. “Yeah...I don’t think so? This is nice,” They play H.O.R.S.E, as well as a game they made up where each basket they make, they get to ask a question. The harder the shot is, the harder the questions they can ask.

At home, Bex is pacing the bedroom. Bowie is sitting on the bed. Bex complains that she doesn’t know what she should do or how she should even talk about it. Bowie listens, nodding his head. “You know, when my father was sick, he didn’t want to tell me. He wanted to be strong and proud. And he almost didn’t tell me, but I found his medication. I was terrified because something bad could have happened any moment and it would’ve been a complete surprise to me.” he pauses. “Andi is worried about you and probably thinks something really bad is going to happen and I don’t think it’s fair to hide it. Besides...she’s starting to get to that age where maybe it’ll start to affect her…”

Episode Six. 

Christmas is coming up and the GHC + Crafty Crew go to the mall. They split up into their normal groups; TJ, Jonah, Marty + Walker and Cyrus, Andi, Buffy + Libby. They’re playing Secret Santa for each other so they’re trying to hide the gifts they’re buying and throwing each other off. Of course, they’re also buying gifts for their SOs. 

Secret Santa List -

TJ has to buy for Marty

Jonah has to buy for Buffy

Cyrus has to buy for Jonah

Marty has to buy for Andi

Andi has to buy for TJ

Buffy has to buy for Cyrus

TJ fretting about what Cyrus would want and if he should even do a Christmas gift because Cyrus doesn’t celebrate (he would celebrate non-religious aspects with Buffy & Andi some years)

Cyrus complaining that Christmas is so materialistic - but then also trying to find the best gift to give TJ and Jonah.

But while TJ, Jonah, Marty, and Walker are shopping trouble arises when they’re wandering around a store, picking up different things, putting them down and whatnot. At some point, Walker notices a security guard staring him down. He feels uncomfortable, but knows he didn’t do anything wrong and continues to just walk around the store with Jonah, Marty and TJ. But it all goes wrong when the group tries to leave the store. They’re all stopped by the security guard, but Walker is singled out. The guard says that he knows that somebody in this group stole and that he has his suspicions as to who. The group all look at each other and furiously shake their heads, saying none of them stole. The guard asks Walker to empty his pockets. Walker does, he has nothing in his pockets besides his wallet and house keys. The guard lets them all go with a warning. Walker is embarrassed and angry that no one else had to empty their pockets. The group buy him some food to try to cheer him up and all agree that it was really wrong.

Episode Seven.

Christmas/Hanukkah special.

They all celebrate their respective holidays. Cyrus invites TJ to celebrate Hanukkah the day after Christmas. TJ of course agrees. We see Cyrus’ family celebrate Hanukkah. Andi, Bex, Bowie, Cece, her dad AND Mei, Ling, her husband, Ronald, and the twins celebrate at Cece’s house. Mei and Cece start to argue, but their dad reigns them in. They finally call a truce after their entire lives of competition and decide their feud isn’t worth it. (“What were we even fighting with to begin with?”) Buffy goes to church and celebrates with her family. Marty celebrates with his family; it’s the first Christmas with his step-siblings. 

The gifts they all bought for each other are revealed when GHC + CO get together during Christmas afternoon. TJ gets Marty a joke gift (probably something about always forgetting him), Jonah buys Buffy a bag full of all of her favorite snacks/candy, Cyrus got Jonah an anchor necklace to keep him grounded and a guitar tuner, Marty buys Andi some weird gag gift like a yodelling pickle, Andi buys TJ a Troy Bolton basketball jersey, and Buffy buys Cyrus a mug that says ‘you’re so weird, i like you’ because she knows Cyrus loves mugs.

TJ and Cyrus psyched themselves out and ended up panicking and getting something neither of them really liked. They laugh about it and then realize they should get to know each other better.

Buffy and Marty treated it like a competition. Buffy got Marty a pace tracker that goes on his sneakers, a scrapbook for his future marathons, and those weird toe socks. Marty gave Buffy two of his hoodies, a necklace shaped like deer antlers which symbolizes strength and gentleness, and an NBA video game that they can play at his house. 

The episode is light-hearted and easy, but the whole episode Bex is still just a little off. Bowie and Cece are extra mindful of her. Andi is still really confused and worried. At the end of the episode, when they all get home, Bex sits on the couch and says “Andi...I have something to tell you.”

HIATUS.

Episode Eight.

Special opening similar to the gun-control episode, as well as the anxiety/panic attack opening talking about how mental health is important and if you or a friend are struggling, tell a trusted adult and take care of yourself.

“Andi...I have something to tell you.” Bex’s voice is serious. There’s a lot of tension. Andi seems worried. Bex seems nervous. Bowie has his hands on Bex’s shoulders comfortingly. 

“Mom? I’m scared...are you sick?”

“Yes,” Andi seems shocked and scared at this revelation. “But not the way you’re thinking, Andi...gosh, this would be easier if I was still just your cool, older sister.” because this is the kind of thing that ‘cool, edgy’ older siblings go through. Not parents. “Andi, I have depression. I’ve had it since I was about your age. It...doesn’t go away, but I’ve been on medication since my twenties and it worked great. But, with work stress and everything that happened with Pops, well...it stopped working. I should have been more open with you and everyone and gotten help when it started…”

Andi stops tensing. She sits with Bex on the couch. “Mom...I didn’t know…”

“Yeah, only Bowie and Cece did. I wanted to be the best mom in the world, especially after giving you up for so long. I wanted to do everything and be everything for you - I didn’t want you to have to worry about me or feel like you had to take care of me. I wanted to be strong.”

“Mom, I love you. You don’t need to pretend to be something you’re not or do more than you can.”

Bex hugs Andi. She’s definitely crying.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Andiman. You don’t have to worry or take care of me ever, okay? I’m the adult. I’ve talked to Bowie and Cece. I’m going to get my medications adjusted and I’m going to go to therapy.”

Andi feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of her chest but it only lasts momentarily. She gets out of the hug.

“Mom, I learned about depression in school…” She pauses. “It can be genetic...what if I get it?”

“Then we’ll help you through it. No matter what.” Bex and Bowie wrap her in a hug again. “You talk to us, though, okay? Don’t hide it like I did.”

PLOT B. Buffy and Marty have a massive fight. This leaves TJ and Cyrus in awkward positions because TJ thinks that Marty is right and Cyrus always sides with Buffy. This leaves Jonah has a tie-breaker and he totally panics and exclaims that this is why he hates relationships. When they realize that he got really anxious choosing a side, they realize they were being stupid and shouldn’t have put anyone in the middle of the fight. They all apologize to him and make up.

Episode Nine.

Buffy’s birthday!

Similar to Bowie, Buffy has never liked huge birthday parties or attention on her birthday. Andi says “Buffy likes attention everyday...except her birthday.” Cyrus and Andi make sure to tell Marty the first of the month that under no circumstances should he try to surprise her. He asks Cyrus and Andi what they do for her birthday then. Cyrus says that they have a Buffy birthday tradition that they’ve been doing since the second grade.

They meet at Buffy’s house for a celebratory breakfast of Froot Loops and chocolate milk because Buffy went through a phase where that’s the only thing she would eat and drink for breakfast, then they walk to school no matter what the weather because on her birthday in second grade, she demanded to be able to walk alone because she was “all grown now” (her parents followed them, just further behind. If it’s a weekend, they walk to The Spoon). After school, they walk back to her house and they play Buffy’s favorite game at the time “Twister” (Cyrus’ least favorite game) and have a silent dance party (at the time, her mother had just come back from war and asked them to not make too much noise). Then, they eat “garbage pizza” because Buffy had just learned the name of it and thought it was hilarious, and her favorite cake. Then, Andi and Cyrus stayed up as late as possible watching whatever movies Buffy wanted to watch.

During lunch, while Cyrus, TJ, and Jonah are getting their lunch, Marty asks Buffy if he can join in on her birthday traditions. Buffy is pretty rigid and likes the traditions as is, but says that maybe they can create their own birthday tradition. Marty comes up with the idea of a three-legged race (Him and Buffy vs TJ and Jonah) and then going out for ice cream - that way, all of Buffy’s new friends and boyfriend can be included before she goes back home to celebrate with the GHC.

That goes just about as well as anyone would think. Hilarious montage, honestly. This is the silliest idea I’ve come up with and yet, I love it. 

Episode Ten.

After school, Jonah and Buffy decide to hang out. They go to a skatepark. Jonah is much better than Buffy - which he celebrates and exclaims “finally!” She’s determined to learn a pop-shove it.

While at work, Bex thanks Cece for supporting her during her depression and tells her that she got her medications adjusted and is starting to feel better. Cece nods and says “I’m really sorry for not supporting you when you were younger. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.” Bex forgives her.

TJ and Cyrus experience some homophobia both in school and outside of school. Cyrus gets upset and insecure, TJ loses his cool. They sigh and realize that it’s probably something they’ll have to go through a lot - but at least they have each other to go through it with.

Andi, Bex, and Bowie go to Cece’s house to spend time with their grandfather/great-grandfather. During the visit, Bex and Andi brush up on their Mandarin, they play games like dominos, cards, and Mahjong, and they eat traditional Chinese food. 

Episode Eleven. 

Amber got her driver’s license. She surprises Andi & Buffy on a weekend for a road trip. They drive to the town nearing Shadyside and have all sorts of adventures. They take lots of pictures to always remember this momentous occasion.

Cyrus is sick which leaves Jonah, TJ, and Marty alone unsupervised. They decide to have an adventure of their own and have a giant game of “The Floor is Lava” in public. They get kicked out of multiple locations. They end the day by going to The Spoon and having an eating competition to see who could finish their burger, fries, and milkshakes first. Being that TJ and Marty are used to bulk eating, Jonah is definitely the one who gives up and almost throws up.

Episode Twelve.

Walker, Libby, and Andi are preparing for the end of the year project where they could potentially be accepted into the school’s gallery, which is an honor and a party. Andi knows that she can create something amazing - but doesn’t know what she wants to do yet. They’re all stuffed into Andi shack, bouncing ideas off of each other. Walker wants to do a self-portrait vs. how the world sees him, Libby wants to create a sign-language sculpture, Andi is conflicted and has no idea what she wants to create.

Buffy/Marty + Cyrus/TJ double date. Lots of hijinks. They also definitely go bowling and Cyrus tries to bowl without bumpers. At one point, TJ ran to the bathroom and told Cyrus to take his turn (it didn’t matter because he was so far ahead, there was no chance of Cyrus ruining his chances of winning) Cyrus rolls a strike and celebrates. He then tries endlessly to replicate it for his own turns to no avail.

While at work, Jonah is talking to Bowie about life. He says that therapy is going really well and he hasn’t had many panic attacks since. He thanks Bowie for being there for him in the beginning and Bowie says that it’s no problem at all and that he’s glad Jonah is getting professional help. Jonah says that he really looks up to Bowie and tells him that today was career day and that the high schoolers were prompted to think about what they want to do when they’re an adult. Jonah said he has been thinking about pursuing music and wants to join a band. Bowie smiles and tells Jonah that he reminds him a lot of him when he was Jonah’s age. He advises Jonah to join a band, but to do it for the music and not for fame, because when he’s older and traveling, he might regret not being home for big things. Jonah tells Bowie that if he doesn’t do music for the rest of his life, he doesn’t know what else he would do. Bowie shrugs and says “You might not know what you want to do now, you might not know what you want to do when you’re 23, or 45, or 55. Life isn’t a straight line, it’s full of twists and turns. Just follow your heart and listen to The Universe in those times and you’ll end up where you need to be.”

Episode Thirteen.

Andi has decided that her end of the year project will be focused on her family. She decides to create a literal family tree - she crafts a tree and each branch has a picture of each family member. Branches, like Pops and his family’s, are clearly snapped at the base to show that it’s a broken tree and he left. Bex’s branch has the picture of her as a teen after just giving birth to Andi, Bowie’s branch splits into two to show that he was absent for 13 years, but then heavily involved, etc. (IDK. I know nothing about art and couldn’t come up with anything else lol)

Bex starts to participate in her photography club again, has been doing better at work, and has become more involved in the PTA at SAVA again. Bowie asks her if she remembers what they were talking about earlier in the year. Bex says “Another baby?” Bowie nods. “Yeah...I’m ready now.” He grins and tackles her in a hug and lots of kisses.

TJ gets his first A in math class, on the final test to boot, after a lot of hard work, tutoring, and accomodations. Cyrus takes him out on a date to celebrate.

Buffy and Marty are in this episode at some point, probably not a big part tbh. Mostly because I’m losing steam lol.

Episode Fourteen.

Andi made it into the gallery. Her entire family, GHC+, and Crafty Crew turn up to the gallery to see it and they all go to the after party for her. Cece says “I told you you just needed to believe in yourself first…” Bex and Bowie tell Andi how proud of her they are and because they are literally awful at timing, tell her that they’re going to be trying for a baby. Andi has very mixed feelings about this, but Walker interrupts and drags her out to dance and party with everyone.

The night ends with Cyrus, Buffy, and Andi having a sleepover. Lots of hugs, celebrations, and love. They definitely squish Andi when she’s sitting between them on the couch while watching movies.

At the end of the episode, Andi texts Jonah about how mixed she feels about having a sibling. Jonah says he can understand - she feels like she might be being replaced, that he felt that way a couple times. Andi asks, like when? Jonah admits that he felt that way when he saw Walker and Andi at the Bar Mitzvah and that was his first panic attack. Andi said that she had no idea he was having panic attacks that long, Jonah says “well now you know. Sorry for not telling you.” Jonah tells her that he’ll always be there to listen to her if she needs it.

[spectraspecs-writes]

Dantooine - Chapter 50 (Carth)

Link to the masterpost. Chapter 49. Chapter 51.

A/N: Well, that’s it for a bit. I still have more to write, plus my consistently available computer time is at my student job and my last shift ends in an hour. Not that I have any regular readers. I feel like this will blow up sometime in 5 or 6 years and I’ll still be plowing away on the last chapter of the Star Forge, lol.

——–

Wow, they sure know how to calm a girl down, don’t they? The fate of the galaxy is in my hands, apparently. That’s not stressful at all.

I think I want to spend one last night here on Dantooine. But not on the ship. Or in the Enclave. I want to sleep out on the plains. Hey! What if we all go camping? Like with tents and tarps and stuff? And I invite everyone to come with me? That would be so much fun! And we can make a fire and tell stories, it’ll be great!

I think I’ll invite Carth first. I need to tell him that we’ll be leaving tomorrow anyway. Tatooine first, for Mission. He’s the pilot, he should know what’s going on. He’s probably in the cockpit. Yep, there he is. “Hey, Carth.”

“What did the Council have to say about the ruins?” Getting right to business, I see. 

“They have tasked me - and Bastila, of course - with going to the planets on the Star Map, finding more Star Maps, and using them to track down the Star Forge.”

He gives a heavy sigh - really heavy. “Fine. Where are we going?”

“Well, I wasn’t planning on leaving now, if that’s alright with you.”

“Fine with me.” He sounds really irritated.

Wait a minute, he wanted to talk to me. “You wanted to talk to me about something yesterday. What’s up?” He shakes his head. Trying to brush it, brush me, off again. Uh-uh. Not this time. “You’ve been very quiet lately, you know that?” I ask him as he presses buttons on the control panel.

“Have I?” he says rhetorically, “I suppose. I guess I just don't like being left out of the loop.”

Wait, what? “Left out of the loop? How do you mean?”

“Left out of the loop?” he repeats slowly, upset, “You know, not being told anything, strung along? It's really starting to irritate me.”

“I know what it means, Carth.” Don’t patronize me, dude. “And I'm not the one leaving you out of the loop.”

“No?” Again with the rhetorical questions, “Well, you certainly aren't helping matters any, either.”

“I’ve been telling you everything you asked me!” Have we been having the same conversations? Show me where I‘ve said that I couldn’t or wouldn’t tell you something.

“Well, then maybe you can enlighten me.”

“Fire away, flyboy.”

“Well, for one thing, I want to know what the Jedi Council said to you. They pulled you in there and refused to tell me a thing about it! I'm rather curious to know what went on, and why they didn't keep you on Dantooine for training. Isn't that strange?”

Well… yeah, I guess. “I guess they thought it was more important that I help find the Star Maps instead.”

“And why is that?” he asks still, “You were a great help on Taris, but why would they keep you with us? Don't they… don't they have to train you?”

“What are you implying here?” Because he’s implying something. “Because I think I've done pretty well so far on my own.”

“That's completely beside the point,” he says, “The Jedi encouraged you to stay with us, and I don't believe the reasons they gave! I mean, you're a neophyte Padawan who's been saddled with the responsibility of tracking down these Star Maps. Why? That's not normal!

“I am not trying to provoke you, or imply that you're somehow responsible for the Jedi Council… but give me a hand, here! There has to be a reason!”

“Are you trying to say I’m not needed?” Because let’s face it dude, if not for me you’d be dead somewhere on Taris. If you don’t think that I’ve got it in me to save your ass again, you’ve got another thing coming.

“No, I don't… I didn't mean that you weren't wanted, or that I want to go, it's just… damn it!” he swears, “I'll tell you this much… I am not going to wait around until I'm betrayed again!”

Whoa, whoa, back the fuck up! “I am not going to betray you!” I shout at him, “I am not Saul!”

He scoffs, “Well, we'll see about that, won't we?”

And right after he says that, I can see regret in his eyes. But I’m not letting him off that easy. After all, he’s finally said what he really feels, why would I let that go? “Look,” he starts to say, trying to be softer now, “I didn't mean it that way.” And just what way did you mean it? “I want to get to Saul, not…” he stammers, before giving up, “... no… no, forget it. It seems all I can do is insult you, isn't it?”

“Oh, so now I’m over sensitive in addition to being a backstabbing bitch?”

“I never said that!”

“No, but it’s pretty damn clear you were thinking it!”

He sighs again. “Look, just... forget I said anything. Let's… let's… just get on with what we were doing. Was- was there something else you wanted?”

Not anymore, asshole! “Just to tell you that you’re not invited on my camping trip.” And I turn on my heel and leave. Wow, that sounded childish, but it feels serious to me. What a son of a bitch! I thought at this point that he trusted me! Where the hell does he get off acting like I’ve been going behind his back since day one? I have been away from the ship for basically a month, of course I haven’t told him everything! Not to mention the fact that he’s been quiet for the past two or three days anyway! It’s hard to answer questions if you never ask any!

Chill out a bit, Rena. Do not let him ruin your plans for a fun evening. Ask whoever you see first. Even if it’s… “T3!” I see the droid first. I know I know, “Rena, why are you inviting a droid to go camping with you?” Because I like droids and I love him and he’s my droid! Plus, hey, even with Juhani no longer spreading a dark and gloomy influence over the plains, kath hounds are pretty dangerous, and there are still Mandalorian raiders tromping around. Point being, I want someone keeping an eye open while we sleep, and let us know if something comes. I’ve always had a droid for that in the past. T3 turns to me and beeps inquisitively. “I want to go camping tonight, out on the plains, do you want to come?” He beeps again, a question. “I really want you there.” And another beep. “Yes, I know you don’t sleep, but that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be welcome.” He beeps again. He’s sassing me now. But then a beep in the affirmative. “Thanks, T3! I’m glad you’re coming with me!”

He beeps again and rolls away, passing Bastila as he leaves. “Where in particular are you going that the droid is following you?”

“Camping trip tonight, out on the plains,” I tell her, “Want to come?”

“No, I think not, thank you,” she says, “I’m surprised you want to spend another night on Dantooine. I was under the impression you were tired of being here.”

“Tired of being in the Enclave, yeah, but I could never get sick of sleeping under the stars,” I tell her, “It’s quite relaxing.”

“Well, I hope you enjoy yourself,” she says, “I assume you’re inviting everyone else - Canderous, Mission, Carth…”

“Ugh!” I groan, “Don’t talk to me about that nerf-herder, he is not coming.” I go into the cargo hold to see what I can dig up there as far as supplies, and Bastila follows me. “Everyone else, yeah.” No, I think maybe we should try to find food out there. Track down an iriaz, maybe. And if we can’t find anything, I can just as easily walk back to the Enclave, talk to a merchant for something. “We can leave for the search for the Star Maps tomorrow.”

“I’m not complaining,” she says, “Have a good time.” She starts to leave, but then comes back. “Oh,” she says, “I think Juhani just boarded. Mission is showing her around.”

“Great! I’ll go ask them!” I move past her and towards the main hold, and see Mission talking to Juhani. Mission is excited. Juhani looks a bit uncomfortable.

Then she sees me. “Master J-” She stops herself. “Rena,” she corrects, “Thank you for accepting me on your journey, and helping me resist the Dark Side.”

“Oh, hey, no problem, you needed help, I’m just glad I could help you,” I say. 

“Rena’s really good at helping people. One time my friend Big Z was kidnapped by some Gamorrean slavers, and Rena helped me out, no problem,” Mission says. Singing my praises - how sweet of her. I think I’m blushing.

“Just bringing a little light to the darkness,” I say with a shrug.

“If there is anything I can do to help you on this mission, please tell me! I can't begin to repay you for- for the kindness you’ve shown me,” Juhani says.

“I’m glad to have you,” I say. Now, to my camping trip! “Would you like to come camping with me tonight? Sleep under the stars, tell stories around a fire - it’ll be fun!”

“I’ve never been camping before!” Mission says excitedly, “I’d love to go! I’ll go tell Big Z!” And she scurries off to find her Wookiee friend.

“They seem an odd pair,” Juhani comments.

“They’re sort of like family for each other,” I say, “So are you coming?”

“I am honored to accept your invitation,” she says. If she’s going to keep talking like this, we’re going to have to have a little chat.

“Great!” I say, “Pack a bag and set it near the door. We can go as soon as everyone’s ready.” I go to the port side quarters to ask Canderous, but before I can say anything, he speaks. 

“Mission already told me,” he says, “You want to go camping? You want to spend a night outside sleeping on rocks? And you thought I’d be interested?”

“That’s correct.”

He laughs a bit. “Then count me in. But I’m not sharing a tent with Captain Killjoy.”

“Carth is not coming,” I say firmly, “You don’t have to worry.”

“Oh?” he asks, cocking his eyebrow, “Sounds like there’s a story there.”

I roll my eyes. “I do not want to talk about it right now. Pack a bag, set it by the door. We’ll leave when everyone’s ready.”

[morganapengdragon]

An English guide to fanfic 1

So I've read a lot of fic set in England lately, by writers who don't have anyone to 'brit pick' what they've written. But everyone deserves to be able to write stuff set in this hellhole of a country so if you don't have/want a brit picker but still want some general advice I'm gonna make a series of posts which might help with making your fic sound a little more natural. I'm gonna start with education because that's the one I've seen people have most problems with.

This is a long post so be warned

Education

There are 3 main parts of the school system (for comprehensive schools in England, I know it's different for rich people and people in Scotland/Ireland/Wales).

Primary school:

Primary school spans ages 4-11 and the years are

Reception: ages 4-5

Year 1: ages 5-6

Year 2: ages 6-7 (some schools make a split after this point, with the younger years referred to as 'infant' school and the older years referred to as 'junior' school)

Year 3: 7-8

Year 4: 8-9

Year 5: 9-10

Year 6: 10-11

A couple of information tidbits:

A lot of schools teach sex education in year 5 and 6. They tell you what sex is and what periods are. The year is split into boys and girls. They don't really talk about gay people, trans people or contraception.

It's not very common now but some schools will do a SATS exam in year 6. The grades go from 1-5 with 5 being the highest. They mean nothing but we all used to get stressed about them anyway.

Kids can also choose to do an 11+ exam if they want to go to grammar school. I never did it so I can't help you there. Some places in the country put more emphasis on the importance of grammar school than others (looking @@@ Kent) and some places don't have any grammar school at all.

Hard hitting insults when I was a kid were things like 'nerd' and 'weird'. We don't really use 'geek' much. 'Damn' and 'hell' aren't swear words here and kids will sometimes say them.

Most primary schools have uniforms

Secondary school:

Secondary school ages are 11-16 and the years are

Year 7: 11-12

Year 8: 12-13

Year 9: 13-14

Year 10: 14-15

Year 11: 15-16

There are 4 MAIN types of secondary school (afaik)

Comprehensive schools (like the one I went to) are your standard school. You just kind of have to live close to it to get in.

Grammar schools work kind of like comps but you have to pass the 11+ exam. Not everyone takes this exam (I never did, my closest grammar school is fuck off miles away). Apparently you get a better education there or something. Idk man but they like to make fun of the local comprehensives.

Private/public school. You have to pay to go to these types of school. I don't really know the ACTUAL difference between private and public but from what I can tell, public is more expensive and fancier. I think their version of primary school is called prep school?? All of the years work differently and every time a public school kid tries to tell me something about their education its gets more confusing. Rich people.

Boarding school. This is basically a private school but you live there and it costs more money than all of my possessions put together. There are quite a few, with some of the most famous being Eton, Harrow, Winchester etc. They are usually either all boys or all girls schools (those three are all boys schools). Rich people.

More detailed infos:

Year 7-9 is referred to as 'lower school' with 10 and 11 being 'upper school'

The exams taken in year 11 are usually GCSEs. These used to be called O-levels for some reason and lots of older people will sometimes call them that by mistake.

Kids choose which GCSEs they want to do at the end of year 9, and start learning the material in year 10.

Maths, science and English are all compulsory and make up 5/6 GCSEs (one maths, two English, two or three science).

Most people do about 10 and can pick from all of the other subjects what they want to do.

We don't really have a 'locker room' culture????

It's quite common for people to go to all girls or all boys schools.

Schools here are nowhere near as big as American schools. We probably won't have high budget theaters or particularly large sports areas.

I've never heard anyone talk about 'funding'???? Just assume nothing is funded, arts and sports alike. We do lots of fundraisers for anything expensive like rugby tours or school productions.

We still have that weird culture thing where like if you're smart then you can't be popular or play sports???? Strange.

Sitting at a specific table at lunch time isn't really a thing. Actually most people brought lunch from home and then would just sit somewhere outside. A lot of the buildings would be closed during breaks.

Not many people really drive to school.

Sixth form/college

After you finish secondary school most people go into either college or sixth form (or a sixth form college). Years are

Age 16-17: sometimes called year 12, sometimes called lower sixth, sometimes called first year

Age 17-18: year 13, upper sixth, second year

Sixth form:

Some schools have an attached sixth form. A variation of the school uniform is often worn, or students will be asked to wear smart clothing or something

There are also sixth form colleges which are a bit more informal, less of a school environment. Students usually tend to wear their own clothes and call teachers by their first names. They're usually viewed as well.

The qualifications earned at the end of year 12 are called AS levels. They count partially towards your final A level grade. Students usually do 4 and drop one at the end of the year. You can do more if you want tho (I did five and died). You can do whatever subjects you want. Like. Literally nothing is compulsory. You wanna do art, music, dance and anthropology? Fuck it why not?

The highest AS grade is an A. B and C is a pass. D and E are fail marks. U stands for ungradable i.e you got so few marks that your exam isn't even worth a grade.

At the end of year 13 you do A levels. You need 3 to get into uni. Some people do 4. They always regret it.

Grades for A levels are the same as AS but they go up to an A*.

Some schools do a thing called the International baccalaureate. I don't understand what it is and frankly it scares me. I don't know how it's graded or what you need for uni. It's a mystery.

Sixth forms can be comp/grammar/Private/boarding same as secondary school.

College:

You can do a bunch of different types of qualifications. Most popular are usually B-Techs and Diplomas.

You usually only study one subject as opposed to four.

From what I gather, the point in doing a B tech is it's more practical and less theoretical and aims to help you get the skills necessary to go straight into the work force.

Unis kind of have to evaluate B-techs fairly, but they don't like them.

Nobody thinks very highly of B-Techs unfortunately bc they're considered to be less academic and easier. Idk if that's the case but there you go. People will sometimes refer to shit versions of other things as 'B-Tech'. For example, Pepsi is just B-Tech Coca Cola. Boris Johnson is a B-Tech Donald Trump.

I know nothing about the grading system for either of these qualifications im sorry.

In a sixth form college there will be people doing A levels and also people doing B techs all in the same building.

University:

I won't go too much into detail but basically you get a degree at the end of it and degrees usually take 3 years to complete. Years are first year, second year, third year etc.

Some courses are longer and some people will do a year in industry in their third year, making their overall degree time 4 years.

Tuition is currently £9,250 per year. I have never met anyone who hasn't gotten a loan for this.

Most people also apply for a maintenance loan. You get money proportional to your family income. The highest is about £8,500 per year. Idk what the lowest is. Some people choose not to take out this loan and their parents give them financial support instead.

The pay back plan for these loans is super lenient, doesn't affect your credit score and is wiped clean after 35 years. Most students think of their loan as more of a tax than a debt (tho we all still cry about it).

People don't live in dorms. We call them halls of residence (or halls for short).

Most people don't live in halls after first year, they leave and find shared housing.

Most halls aren't catered.

Most halls don't have shared rooms.

Because we study so few subjects at A level, we do have this system in the UK where you take a bunch of different unrelated subjects in your first year and then decide on your major later. Instead you apply for a programme already knowing your major. So when I applied to university I applied to the BA French and German Linguistic Studies course at a number of universities.

Different courses have different entry requirements. So it's easier to get into uni to study History than it is to study Maths.

Each 'class' is referred to as a module, and all of your modules are usually related to your main degree title.

Stereotypically STEM students think that humanities students are dumb. Humanities students think STEM students are arseholes who don't know how to read so if you wanna have that kinda jock/nerd type rivalry but in uni then humanities/STEM is quite a good one.

We call all of our lecturers by their first names. Sometimes we go to the pub with them. I watched a documentary about gay porn with one of them. It's chill.

I've never seen anyone show up to a lecture in pyjamas. People would think it's weird.

We refer to clubs as 'societies'. I love being part of the Musical Theatre Society. It's sounds so much more impressive than club.

The English version of Ivy League is Russel Group. The most prestigious Unis outside of Oxford and Cambridge tend to be: Durham, St Andrews (Scotland), Imperial, LSE and Warwick.

Slang and Groups

We don't really use the word 'jock'. In my school we called those guys the 'Rugby Lads' because they all played rugby.

We don't really use the word preppy/peppy whatever because I literally don't know anybody who is like that.

Try 'Drama kids' instead of Theater kids.

The kids who do drugs and don't come to school are called road men. Even the girls. To do road is to deal drugs but you don't really hear people say that much.

If we can't be bothered to say a teachers full title we will usually call them 'sir' or 'miss' but not really ma'am.

'Hall Pass' isn't a thing.

Our school did have prefects but fuck if I know who they were. They didn't really have any extra responsibility or power.

School uniforms are a thing in most schools. The things people did to make themselves seem cool were things like rolling their skirts up super short, wearing the rugby ties on match days, trying to get away with shoes that don't TECHNICALLY break the rules but are deffo not allowed, wearing as much make up as they could get away with, without teachers noticing. Our school was p strict on uniform tho in comparison with a lot of schools in my area.

If your accent doesn't fit the standard for your area it will affect you in some way (depending on your accent).

Homeroom is called registration

Gym is sometimes called the sports hall

People don't really go to school matches unless they're dating sb bc we don't have bleachers.

Home ecenomics was called Food Tech and Textiles in my school

Woodshop or whatever is called DT (design and technology)

People don't get as involved in extracurriculars in school (but they do at uni).

We DO have houses and we get points given to out houses like in Harry Potter but unlike Harry Potter literally nobody gives a fuck. In my school they added a whole new house and moved everyone into new houses and literally nobody noticed and nothing changed.

There is a BIG difference between comp schools and all of the other kinds in terms of culture. I didn't know this until I went to uni and started joking about the time some kid started throwing chairs in RE (religious education) or when so and so tried to set our French teacher on fire and literally all of the grammar school kids were like O.O WTF.

Slang and school culture will also vary a lot depending on where you live. I live in East London which is not a very well off area but it IS in london so my experiences would match with that.

Everything is completely different in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland so like.... Sorry.

[thedeviltohisangel]

How The Night Changes//6//You Made It Personal

“Were you just masturbating?” (or, Duncan leaves Paris without Olivia by his side)

Smut Warning

my URL/duncanshepherd to catch up!

thank you to the anon that sent me this request! send anymore my way!

Olivia sighed as she rested back on the blanket they had laid out for their picnic in front of the Eiffel Tower.

“You curated a nice picnic, Duncan Shepherd, I am impressed.” He popped another grape into his mouth and regarded her thoughtfully.

“Only the finest for you.” His tone was sarcastic as she didn’t even spare him a glance at her comment.

“I’m glad you’ve finally come around to thinking so. We can be much better friends now that you are on board.” Duncan lied down next to her, his feet facing the opposite direction as hers but his face only inches from hers.

“Friends?” he questioned quietly. Duncan, maybe mistakenly, had been considering their past few weeks in Paris to have been full of dates between people who were more than friends.

“I don’t want to label it if you’re planning on leaving soon.” For Duncan, the trip to Paris was just for a summer internship and connecting with Olivia had just been a happy side effect. He had things to take care of in DC, now that he had his Master’s he was going to get a larger role in his family company. Olivia was here for as long as she could escape from her parents for.

“I don’t have to leave if you don’t want me to.” There had always been something between them. Their chemistry felt by anyone who was in a room with them. They had the easiest time talking to each other and only ever felt comfortable in the other’s presence. Duncan thought he was finally getting his chance to be with her what he had always wanted.

“Don’t put that on me,” she whispered, “You know I can’t go back there and you know that you have to.” As much as the summer had been a slight fulfillment of both their desires to run away, it wasn’t reality. They both knew the had places to be and that didn’t include them being together.

“Well, we still have a couple weeks until I am officially summoned. We can do whatever you want until then.”

“Whatever I want?” she repeated, lowering her sunglasses so she could peer at him over the rim of them. “Do you want me to say anal or something like that?” Duncan spit out the sip of lemonade he had just taken.

“Olivia! That’s a little blunt.”

“Just testing you.” Duncan wanted to tell her that he would give her the world if she asked him to but that might have been too much for a Saturday picnic with a girl who had just blatantly used the word friend to describe him.

“You’re insufferable, you know that?” he groaned.

“Yet, you’re drawn to me. Why do you think that is?” Her tone was no longer teasing, Olivia genuinely curious why he had chosen to spend the majority of his summer with her and not floating around from girl to girl.

“I feel like everyone underestimates you. There’s something inside of you untapped and I wanna be the one to do it.” She became acutely aware of how close they were now to each other.

“How are you able to see through me?” Her voice had dropped in volume tremendously as she felt him cutting through to the root of her and their relationship. She felt more vulnerable than she had since she left her parents in DC.

“Maybe I’m the one who’s meant to.” They could have stayed in that position, staring into each other’s eyes, for all of eternity. It felt so right to be together. Olivia didn’t want to think how in a couple of weeks he’d be gone. He’d leave to work his family and she’d stay behind in Paris. She hoped their summer together wouldn’t drift away in the breeze but remain planted here and bloom. Olivia would tend to the memories if she had to. They were all she might have to keep her going, keep her strong enough to never return to the manipulation she had to flee.

“I don’t want you to leave,” she admitted, “But I’m not going to ask you to stay.”

“I know.” It was simple, direct, ambiguous. Duncan had learned how to speak without ever giving away the truth and he sometimes found it difficult to be so honest with her.

“When I drunkenly told you that you were the Han to my Leia I didn’t mean for you to go on quoting him.” She was purposefully lightening the conversation in the hopes the ache in her chest would go away. Duncan rolled his eyes.

“Just when I think I’ve broken you...Shall we head back to the apartment? Get ready for dinner?” He had invited her to be his plus one to a banquet to hand out awards to interns of the company he was working at. Reluctantly, she had agreed.

“You take longer than me to get ready so I guess we should.” Olivia sat up and ran her fingers through her hair to get rid of any grass that might have gotten tangled.

“This swoop doesn’t just magically appear,” Duncan scoffed as he stood and offered her his hand so she could join him.

“I know that. I’ve watched you talk to yourself while you do it in the morning.” He gave her a look that said she was asking for it. “You can’t attack me if you can’t catch me.” She grabbed the bag they had used to transport their food and took off running, Duncan quickly springing into action behind her with their blanket in hand.

She squealed as she weaved through tourists and headed straight towards the tower and the direction her home was in. Duncan caught up to her by the time she reached the edge of the grass, her wedges not the best to evade capture in, picking her up around the waist and spinning with the most genuine laugh he had ever had.

“God, Olivia, you’re my worst nightmare and greatest dream all rolled into one.” He was slightly breathless from trying to keep up with her. Part of him was always nervous he’d lose sight of her and that would be it. He’d lose her as quickly as he’d gotten her.

“The woman you end up with should be, Duncan.” She laced her fingers through his and began to lead him, slower this time, towards their destination.

“I don’t think about marriage and that stuff a lot. I don’t know if it’s for me,” he shrugged.

“You don’t have to marry someone. You can just be with them forever, you know? Or are you afraid of commitment too?” she teased.

“I’m committed to my family. Our company. There’s not much room in my life for other things...I don’t want to ever take on so much that someone I love feels like I’m not fulfilling them the way I should be.”

“Well, when you find her let me know. That way I can share all your secrets with her and threaten her.” Olivia snickered slightly at her own comment, unaware of the Duncan’s face was falling more and more by the second.

“What if...what if I think you’re her?”

“Then after you leave...We’ll find our way back to each other. If it’s meant to be us then we’ll find our way back together.”

----

Her fake smile had been perfected for moment’s like this. She was sitting ramrod straight, clapping lightly and politely for every name that was read and for every person that accepted their award.

“Thank you again for coming with me tonight.” Duncan had been so nervous before the dinner that Olivia had had to tie his tie for him, his hands shaking too much to get a good grip on the fabric.

“Squeezing myself into this jumpsuit will all be in vein if you don’t win,” she remarked as she looped her arm through where his rested on the seat next to her.

“My greatest achievement this summer was making you smile. Don’t need a plaque for that.” She offered him the smile he spoke of and kissed his jacket covered arm.

“Thank you,” she whispered, “For bringing my smile back to me.” Duncan could never know the catalyst for her move to Paris, and he didn’t necessarily want to, but all he had to know was that it somehow brought the two of them together.

The final award of the night was announced, the most prestigious, being gifted to the most accomplished participant in the summer program. No one cheered louder than Olivia when Duncan’s name was announced. As she felt her heart swell, watching him on the stage posing for photographs, that feeling more happiness for the accomplishment of someone else than you would yourself was a sign of love.

----

“Were you jealous or something back there? Amelia was just a colleague! I worked with her on my main project, all summer.”

“I didn’t mean to come across as snippy with her. She was definitely stroking your arm in an intimate way and I-”

“We’re not dating, Olivia!” Duncan had never raised his voice at her. He always spoke to her like she was a fragile piece of art; softly and lightly and with affection. “You’ve made that abundantly clear to me. So if I want to enjoy the attention of another woman...fuck you for taking that from me.” Olivia stared ahead, stunned, as Duncan stalked off towards the bathroom and the shower turned on.

“Don’t cry, don’t cry. He’s just a stupid boy and he’s not worth it,” she told herself as she sat down at her vanity and began to wipe the makeup off of her face. “Stupid boys don’t get the satisfaction of seeing you cry.” She slapped at each of her cheeks quickly and smiled as the welling in her eyes subsided. Her father had said the mantra to her back when she was in the fourth grade. A boy at lunch had teased her and when she came home crying her father was firm, you don’t give other people the power to make you feel weak. Weakness was not to be tolerated in the Underwood household.

She shed her jumpsuit and made her way to her dresser to pull out clothes to wear to bed when her hand closed around a pink toy that she hadn’t used since Duncan came into her life. What a way to remind him how good he had it, she thought with a devious smirk. Quickly, she shed the rest of the garments on her body and situated herself among the pillows of her bed.

She focused her mind on the sounds that Duncan made whenever they were together. His hums as he was buried between her legs. His gasps when her tongue teased his tip. The breathless way he said his name as they lay there panting together when it was all said and done. Her nipples hardened at the thought and she trailed her finger around them lightly, the sensation making her mouth part in the beginnings of bliss. She hummed as she turned on the toy, circling the soft skin of her stomach. She dipped it passed her belly button tentatively, enjoying the small tremor she felt in her thighs, before bringing it back up to her nipples.

Her own ministrations and teasing urged coo’s of happiness to fall from her mouth. She moved the toy to her thighs and used it to trace the skin where her pussy met her thighs. Normally, Olivia didn’t tease herself in the manner she currently was, preferring to use her vibrator and the glass dildo she had to reach climax quickly and frequently when she was taking care of herself.

A moan slipped from her mouth as she finally let the toy slip past her lips. She teased the entrance to her hole for a few moment before allowing herself the satisfaction of it humming against her clit.

“Were you just masturbating?” She heard Duncan call from the bathroom. It didn’t stop her and she didn’t answer, switching the toy to pulse. Blindly, Olivia reached into her bedside table and pulled the glass dildo from the drawer and put it into her mouth. “What’s got you moaning like that, Liv?” He then appeared in her doorway, a towel slung low on his hips, and any question or remark died on his lips as he watched her slide the toy into her. She kept it shallow, slowly pumping it and twisting it with the gentle fluidity of her wrist, trying to keep it in time with the pulsing of the pink vibrator.

“Take a picture. It will last longer,” she breathlessly teased as Duncan closed his mouth at her words.

“Stay exactly how you are.” He dropped his towel, his erection bobbing against his stomach, as he disappeared into the other room. When he returned, it was with the fancy camera he had bought to document his summer in Paris but hadn’t used once. “Show me something worth remembering.” And so she did.

She worked herself up on her back with her knees hitting the mattress, his thumb stuttering as it pressed the button. On her side with her leg on his shoulder as he focused on the silent whines that were coming from her mouth as she fucked herself closer to the edge.

“Duncan...my clit…” she called desperately. The button had gotten too sensitive for her toy and she couldn’t push through the pain with her own hand and she needed his help. His fingers found it and pressed against it like they were the key and her pleasure ready to be unlocked.

His fingers worked against her without even needing to look, Duncan watching his fingers through the lens of the camera as she began to rock against him. As she came, calling his name, he moved the lens to her face and captured the exact moment her eyes screwed shut and her legs attempted to clamp around the pleasure he was giving her.

“You’re so fucking beautiful when you come, you know that?” He was panting himself as he began to flick through the images of her that he had gotten. He put the camera down on her desk and began to crawl up the bed with the aim of kissing her and getting his own release for the night. Once his puckered lips were only inches from hers, her hand pressed against them to keep him at bay.

“You can have the couch tonight,” she said coolly. In her eyes was not the Olivia he had seen the entire summer he’d been with her. She had been replaced with eyes that looked a carbon copy of her mother’s.

“I’m sorry for swearing at you earlier. Using that tone and volume. I was just frustrated because this whole summer I feel like I’ve been asking you to be more than friends and then I accept it and tonight-”

“You represent a weakness. A vulnerability. A chink in the armor I’ve been building since I left DC and need to keep strong. I can’t even be your friend anymore, Duncan.” It was a fatal blow. A knockout punch right in the stomach that forced all the air out of his lungs. She swung her legs off the bed, steadying herself as the orgasm made her legs weak, and she left her room to come back with a pillow and some blankets.

“You’re going to just shove me out of your life like that? Like it’s that easy to pretend we didn’t spend this whole summer falling in love? Working to break down each other’s walls in a safe and healthy way?” He should have known that she was capable of being this cold and distant. It ran through her veins. Annette had warned him of the dangers of getting close to the descendant of a Hale.

“People don’t get to speak to me like that who want to be in my life. You don’t get to make me feel the way you do and flippantly move on to someone else if you want to be in my life. People like us, Duncan, don’t get to feel the way we do about someone else. So, tonight you take the couch and I don’t want you to be there when I wake up. Clean break. Have a safe flight back to DC.” She was standing in the doorway waiting for him to follow her instructions. He pulled his sweatpants on with a deep, steadying breath. He was a man and men don’t cry.

“You’re breaking my fucking heart, Olivia. I feel worse for you than I do myself. You won’t allow yourself to be happy and fall in love with someone. I’m sorry for the pain you’ll experience living a life that way. I’m sorry to just be a casualty of the cruelty your parents imbued you with. But thank you for giving me a ticket away from it. So I don’t have to watch the girl I love destroy herself with a front row view.” He practically ripped the pillows and blankets from her arms and made his way to the couch without sparing her a second glance. She watched him until he turned the living room lamp off before retreating to her own bed for the night. Curled up on her side, her body shook with silent sobs and sleep never came.

----

She woke up the next morning and scrambled out to the living room with the intent of apologizing to Duncan. Telling him she loved him and that she would go back to DC with him if it meant they could be together. Tell him she why she had left for Paris in the first place and how that wasn’t an excuse for her behavior but she needed help to heal from it. His help. But the couch was empty when she got there. The pillows were placed gently on top of the folded blanket with a piece of paper resting on top.

The last wish of yours I can grant is to be gone before you wake up. So I am. I hope you find happiness, Olivia. You deserve it. You deserve it. You deserve it.

He hadn’t bothered to sign his name and Olivia thinks it might have hurt more than it already did to read the scrawling nickname he usually signed notes to her with.

“What have I done?” she whispered as she let the tears flow freely down her cheeks. She knew she could pick up her phone and say the same things to him through it that she had wanted to in her living room this morning but he deserved a clean break. He deserved better than her and her changing mind and shattered soul. Duncan deserved happiness too and she couldn’t give him that. Clutching the note to her chest with one hand, she curled up on that couch that was still warm as though he had waited as long as possible before leaving. And he had, in the hopes he’d build up the courage to go to her bedroom and plead his case. But he hadn’t.

And if Olivia spent the day with the blanket under her nose, absorbing the last remnants of him that she thought she’d ever get, well, no one has to know.

[hh-rose]

Omg can u do a case fic where cas & dean have to pretend to be a couple !!!?

“Dean, I think I might have found a case, but I don’tthink you’re going to like it,” Sam said as he put his computer on the tableand sat across from Dean.

“Why wouldn’t I like it?” Dean said looking at Sam.“Does it have something to do with Harry Potter because so help me God, Sammy,I will let them die.”

“First of all, no it’s not about Harry Potter. Secondof all, rude,” Sam said with his bitchface. “There seems to be a problem at this couple therapy place inBrooklyn. Couples will go in there absolutely hating each other, and come outlike it’s their honeymoon. Then, they go missing the next day.”

“Maybe the therapist is just good at their job,” Deansaid. “Why would I have a problem with this again?”

“Well, we have to investigate it, but we can’t go in asFBI agents. There needs to be a fake couple,” Sam said. He could see therealization in Dean’s eyes.

“And who do you suggest play this struggling couple?”Dean asked as if he already knew the answer.

“I just think that you and Cas are the ideal people forthis job,” Sam said. Dean groaned, but Sam still continued. “All you have to doit tell the therapist you’re having some problems with your relationship. It’snot like you never had any of those.”

“Where is Cas?” Dean asked, hoping that he hadn’talready agreed to this.

“Packing his bags,” Sam said with an apologetic smile.Dean got up from the table, smacked Sam upside the head, and walked to Cas’sroom.

Dean was had always thought that Sam had had an inklingabout Dean’s feelings for Cas. He had always hoped he was wrong, though. Deancould barely handle explaining the feelings to himself, let alone another humanbeing. He was in love with Cas. And now, thanks to his annoying youngerbrother, he had to pretend to be in a relationship with him.

Dean walked up to Cas’s door. He took a few breathesand knocked on the door. He pushed it open to see Cas trying to decide whichtie to bring. God, he’s so cute. Deanshook tried to shake that thought off as he moved closer to Cas.

“I’d go with the grey one if I were you. It’s my leastfavorite color, and we are supposed to be fighting, so it’s perfect,” Deansaid. Cas smiled at him.

“Well, you should wear that hideous sweater because itdefinitely makes me want to fight with you,” Cas said putting a button-downshirt into his bag.

“Are you really on board with this whole thing?” Deanasked, but he could tell Cas didn’t know what he meant. “I mean we’re in a goodplace right now, do you really think bringing up a bunch of bad things thathappened is the best idea?”

“I think that we have been through a lot, and somepotential hoodoo therapist isn’t going to ruin our profound bond,” Cas said.Dean tried to ignore the feeling profoundbond gave him.

“Alright. I’ll be ready in fifteen minutes,” Dean said.“Meet me in the garage.”

Upon their arrival, Cas and Dean found out that thiswas more than just therapy. It was a two-day experience. There was a bedroom atthe therapist’s office that you had to stay in. The first day, you talkedopenly about your problems. Then, you had to share a bed. The next day, you fixany problems that need to be fixed. Dean did not like the sound of that.

The therapist’s name was Julia Ring. She started herpractice seven years ago. She had a ninety-nine percent success rate. It wouldhave been one-hundred, but she says that there is always room for improvement.Dean felt like his head was going to explode.

“Cas, Dean, why don’t you tell me what seems to betroubling you?” Julia asked with a bright smile. Cas and Dean exchangedglances. It looked like Dean was going first.

“We’ve been togetherfor nine years,” Dean started. “We have two kids,both teenagers. We adopted them. We work together, along with my brother.”

“That’s great, Dean. But you didn’t answer my question.What seems to be troubling you?” Julia asked again.

“We have been together for a long time, but Cas alwaysleaves,” Dean said. He felt Cas look at him. He hoped beyond hope that hedidn’t hurt Cas.

“Cas, why did you leave Dean?” Julia asked.

“Most times it was to help Dean. There were some thingsI needed to work out for the greater good. One time he kicked me out, though,”Cas said, glaring at Dean.

“You know I didn’t want to do that. You know that wasbecause of Gadreel. I would never have kicked you out if he wasn’t there,” Deanalmost yelled.

“Who’s Gadreel?” Julia asked.

“He’s not important,” Dean stated blankly.

“Okay. Dean how did you feel when Cas left?” Juliaasked. Dean so did not want to answer that question. He felt broken every timeCas left him. He felt as if a part of him was missing. But was he really readyto admit that to Cas.

“I felt as if I did something wrong. I felt like I wasthe reason he left,” Dean said looking at the floor. “People leave me a lot, soI guess I should be used to it. But it’s different with Cas. It hurts more whenhe leaves. I don’t feel whole without him.”

Dean did not plan on saying that much. In fact, hedidn’t plan on saying most of the things he said. There had to be some sort oftruth telling thing in there. That’s how she was doing all of this. Dean couldonly imagine how she got people to make up.

“Cas, do you have anything to say about Dean?” Juliaasked. Cas swallowed.

“Sometimes Dean treats me like a child,” Cas saidtrying to avoid Dean’s eyes. Dean knew he treated Cas differently sometimes,but it was only because he didn’t want Cas to get hurt.

“Alright. I want you to think about what each of yousaid tonight. You will be staying in that room right over there,” Juliagestured to a room. “Tomorrow, we will reconcile.”

Dean and Cas walked into the bedroom. Dean put theirbags down next to the bed as Cas looked around. They would have to examine theroom for hexbags.

“I think she used some sort of truth-telling spell inthere,” Dean said sitting on the bed. “I don’t know if you felt anything, but Icertainly didn’t want to say half of the stuff I said.”

“I agree, Dean,” Cas said as he walked around. “Weshould look for hexbags. Who knows what kind of hoodoo she has going on inhere.”

Dean stood up and looked under the bed. There weredozens of hexbags under there. Not only were there hexbags, but there was aring of something around them.

“Uh, Cas. You should probably see this,” Dean said. Caswalked over and looked under the bed. His eyes widened. He looked confused, butalso like he knew what was happening.

“Dean, these are hexbags. There cupid sacks,” Cas saidexamining one of them. “Cupid sacks are things that cupids use to makepeople…well to make people do things. If you put a ring of salt around them,they make people…”

“Fuck?” Dean asked.

“Well, yes,” Cas said. “I don’t think she used atruth-telling spell out there. I think she used lover’s quarrel charm. It makespeople who are say things that truly bother them about the person they love. Normally, cupids use it when theyare trying to stop a couple who isn’t destined to be together.”                

“So you’re saying that Julia is making people fight,then making them have sex, and then they’re cured?” Dean asked. Somethingwasn’t making sense.

“Not exactly. When you make love under the spell of acupid, you are fully committing to that person. There is no turning back. Fromthat moment on, you are one,” Cas explained.

“True love is the most powerful thing in the world. Itis powerful enough to make an average witch a god. Cupids have a way of makinganything in the general vicinity of their magic fall in love. Julia is using itto make people commit, and then she is using their love to make her morepowerful,” Cas continued.

“So, are we not going to sleep tonight?” Dean asked.Cas looked at him with that amazing face he makes when Dean says somethingstupid.

“Not unless you want to spend the rest of your lifewith me,” Cas joked. Dean was ready to throw Cas onto the bed and tell him thatthat was exactly what he wanted. But he couldn’t. He’d just have to wait itout. What they needed right now was a plan.

They destroyed all the cupid sacks that were under thebed. They stealthily got rid of all of the lover’s quarrel that was in the mainroom. All they needed to do now was come up with a plan to stop Julia. Theywere pretty sure she wasn’t a cupid, so they needed to figure out who she wasand why she had all this stuff.

The next morning, Cas and Dean strolled into the mainroom. Dean knew that Julia thought that they did the deed and were fixed, soDean grabbed Cas’s hand. Cas looked up at him. Dean just smiled and hoped Caswould play along.

“How was your night?” Julia asked with a huge smile.

“It was wonderful. I have never felt more in love withthis man,” Cas smiled at Dean. Dean’s heart melted, but he played it cool.

“Cas, honey, could you get my phone? I forgot it on thebed,” Dean said to his faux beau. Cas smiled and let go of Dean’s hand. He wentto the room to get the gun and the witch killed bullets.

“Thank you so much, Julia,” Dean said with the fakestsmile anyone had ever made. “I just want to know one thing,” Dean checked tomake sure that Cas was in place. “Where’d you get all of the cupid stuff?”

Julia stood up, but Cas was right behind her. He grabbedher and put the gun to her head. Julia tried to get out, but it was no use.

“How’d you know?” Julia asked.

“How’d we know that you stole things from a cupid tomake people fall back in love? Then, stealing it to make you more powerful?”Cas asked as he pushed the gun harder into her head.

“I’ll tell you,” Dean moved closer to her. “It’sbecause I’m Dean Winchester and this here is my buddy Castiel. Maybe you’veheard of us.”

“Of course. It is every witch’s dream to be killed by aWinchester. Or their guard dog,” Julia snickered. Cas took that as his cue topull the trigger.

Cas and Dean cleaned everything up and headed out tothe car. Dean put their things in the trunk as Cas called Sam to tell him whathappened. Dean got in the car and waited for Cas to get in.

“Dean, I think we need to talk,” Cas said as Deanstarted the car. He was praying that Cas wouldn’t say that. He waited until hepulled out to say anything. It was going to be a long ride home and Dean wantedto delay this as long as possible.

“What’s up, Cas?” Dean asked. Cas bit his lip. Deanloved when he did that. But this was not the time to be swooning over theangel.

“I didn’t tell you last night, but lover’s quarrl onlyworks if the two people have mutual feelings for each other,” Cas said tryingnot to look at Dean. “You can tell if people are meant to be together based onwhat they say. If people are nice about the problems they have, they are meantto be together.”

Dean remembered apologizing to Cas. He remembered Cassaying things nicely. He remembered feeling like shit when Cas said he made himupset.

“So, you’re saying we’re meant to be together?” Deanasked finally looking at Cas. Cas smiled and moved closer to Dean. He lacedtheir fingers together.

“If that’s what you want,” Cas said.

“We did make a hell of a fake couple,” Dean added.

“I’m in love with you, Dean Winchester.”

“I’m in love with you, Castiel.”

[crap-copper]

I have a lot of wips, both active and dead, as many of us do. Most will probably never make it to the light of day and that’s alright. It’s how the creative process works. I want to share one of my dead wips with you guys because it’s one I like. why let a wip I like die? It was a bit too much like the series Harry Potter. At least I think it was, I’ve never actually read/seen Harry Potter, but this story was inspired by the fandom, Cursed Child stuff mostly. I saw a lot of people saying it could have been better and I wanted to try to make it better. I tried to make it my own thing, but I ended up still being really similar. I still like it, but it could never be it’s own thing.

Background: There are five categories of magic; spell (magic that needs words, works instantly), hex (magic that needs words, works after a period of dormancy), potion (liquid magic, each with a specific use), charm (magic contained in an object), and curse (any of the first four, but illegal). This senior at a boarding school for magi (there are many of these schools) had ambitions grew to big and deemed to dangerous. She was thrown aside in an attempt to stop this behavior. Before leaving though, she placed a curse on four sixth graders (magi begin practicing magic in sixth grade) that would come to fruition in their senior year. They were suppose to lead an army of their classmates for her to overthrow the Magi in power, but things didn’t go according to plan. They still lead her army like the curse intended, but against her and those who stood with her. Many lives were lost, but the cursed students won.

Premise: The story follows the children of those four students and how they try to find themselves apart from their parents’ legacy and their fears.

Characters: (all main characters are 15)

Benjamin “Benji” Abbey - Named after his great uncle, who was named after another family member and so forth (Benjamin is a common name is his family), Benji comes from a wealthy and powerful family in the magi community so he’s expected by his parents to always be well behaved. He goes by Benji with most people, but his parents and some teachers call him Benjamin. He is a people-pleaser and wants to be what adults expect of him, but he finds this clashes with who he wants to be sometimes. When he was in sixth grade, he had a teacher encourage him to try new things, find himself, but when he started doing that, his parents didn’t approve. They didn’t want him to be the odd one out, they wanted him to fit in. As he got older, his family self and his school self started to separate more and more, to the point that he completely different clothes, wears his glasses instead of contacts (like his parents insist), uses potions to dye his hair, and wears charmed piercings that don’t leave marks. He feels like he’s living two lives sometimes, but it’s the only way he can be himself and keep his parents happy. He is very smart, excelling in his magic and language courses. He loves school and it’s where he feels most at home.

Avery Brown - Named after one of his parents’ friend who died in the war, Avery is a bit of a rebellious kid. This is because of his overprotective parents. He knows they just want to keep him safe, but he doesn’t need protecting. The war is over. He just wants to have fun and be a kid. Often, he feels out of place in the world. He isn’t very good at magic and honestly doesn’t care for it much. He doesn’t feel like he belongs to that world. The non-magic world isn’t much better though, because magic is still part of him and he feels the secret separates him from that world. He feels like he’s stuck in between two worlds, destine to never fit in. The only time he ever really feels normal is when he’s messing around with tech. He likes taking stuff apart and putting it back together. He likes knowing how it works. Avery is also hard of hearing, having difficulties with high sounds. He wears hearing aids because of this. He and his family knows sign language (I don’t have a specific one in mind because I don’t know where this takes place) because his grandpa was deaf, but he doesn’t really need to use it.

Emrys Brown - (apparently this is traditionally a boy’s name, but I thought it was a girl’s, either way it’s her name, not changing it) Named after one of her parents’ friend who died in the war, like her twin Avery, Emrys is like the mom of the group. In contrasted to Avery, Emrys is very mature for her age. Her siblings don’t know the reason why, though. The war really did a number on their parents, but they hid a lot of it from their kids. One time, during the night, Emrys and her siblings heard a noise from their parents room. Emrys went to see what happened. Her dad had knocked over a lamp during a panic attack. Her mom insisted everything would be alright, but Emrys was scared and wanted to help. Her mom told to just put her siblings back to bed. Later on, her parents sat her down to explain what they went through as kids. She taken on the role of protector ever since. She didn’t want her siblings scared like she was and never let on how badly their parents were emotionally scarred. She tries to keep her brother and her friends out of trouble, not that they listen often. They sometimes see her as a stick in the mud, but she just does’t want any of them to get hurt.

Hayleigh Char -  Named after her late paternal aunt, Hayleigh is a serious troublemaker, if that word even covers it. Her mother is a magus, but her father isn’t, nor is her little sister, technically (when you have one magus parent and one non magus parent, you might not inherit magic. It’s less common for girls to inherit magic over boys too, like colorblindness and if you don’t have magic, you’re not always consider a magus). Hayleigh doesn’t like people expecting so much from her because of who her mother is and tries to lower everyone’s expectations of her being this perfect girl as soon as she meets them. She’s really good at reading people and knows how to push just about anyone’s buttons within minutes of meeting them. She might be sociopathic, but has never been diagnosed because she’s too young. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t care for anyone, she cares deeply for her family, including her small group of friends (these five). Rules are more like suggestions to her and this would definitely lead to trouble if she got caught, not that she does often. She has a bit of a temper too, but it tends to only come out for her family more than herself, especially when someone is mean to her sister.

Naomi Medina - Also named after someone who died in the war, Naomi one a quiet person. They tend to just go with the flow and, while they usually follow the rules, they’ll choose following their friends over following the rules almost every, if not every time. They trust their friends, maybe too much. Their friends can be a lot sometimes, but Naomi loves them all the same. Naomi is introverted in nature and prefers reading to most things. Sometimes, when everyone is just hanging out, they’ll just stay to the side, reading. They like being able to just escape in a book and put reality aside for a moment. Naomi also really like history, it’s their best subject. They know a lot of relatively obscure facts too, primarily history based. They’re a good person to talk to if you need someone to just listen. They’re also genderfluid, using they and she.

Plot: At first I had this convoluted idea where there were living spells that got lose and they were going to kill non-magi if they weren’t stopped, but it was just too much. I ended up going with a simpler idea.

Hayleigh and Avery were getting into trouble like usual when they accidentally let the headmistress’ pet escape or something like that. It’s grounds for expulsion if they’re caught, so they enlist the help of their friends to find and put back her pet. Emrys is hesitant, but ends up going along with it because she doesn’t want to see any of them get in trouble. In the end, they get caught, but, while their parents are called about it, they aren’t expelled because of who they are, or more accurately, who they’re parents are. They think about calling out this hypocrisy, but stay silent, not wanting to get expelled.

There was also this plot b where Benji starts developing feeling for Avery and goes to Naomi to talk because he finds it all very confusing. He’s never been attracted to boys or girls or anyone but Avery before and Naomi is ace-aro and part of him thought maybe he was too, but he’s young so he wasn’t sure. They try help him understand his sexuality, but labels are confusing and frustrating to him and he chooses to just go without. It turns out Avery, who is gay, has been harboring a crush on his friend the whole time. They end up dating.

There is this one scene in particular I have in my head towards the end of the book. Benji’s dad comes to the school after being called by the headmistress and Benji doesn’t have time to change his clothes and hair before his dad arrives. His dad is mad at him for breaking rules and lying and and everything. During this, Benji ends up telling his dad he’s dating Avery (not like he accidentally said while arguing or anything, he knew what he was saying). They’re quiet for a moment before his dad says “I’m always disappointed when you lie to me, but I more disappointed in myself that felt like you had to hide that.” He tells him that he’s alright with him being gay and Benji explains to him that he doesn’t really like boys, just this one boy, a lot.

Extra info:

I had this idea that magi would have their own language, Magan. I never did anything to make the language, aside from a couple rules. It’s alphabet is a combination of Latin and Cyrillic, the letter X would make a sh sound, and J didn’t exist, it was replaced with I, making it both a vowel and a constant, like Y. This was what Benji and his dad were speaking in the scene I described because Avery was also there, but he sucks at Magan and Benji’s dad didn’t want him eavedropping. (Fun fact: Avery is the only one of the five who can’t speak Magan and Benji is the only one who is truly fluent)

There are these places called hidden towns (well, they’re called that in Magan, I just don’t know the Magan words). They are small towns that are completely hidden from non-magi where you can buy potions, charms and other stuff. While most magi now live alongside non-magi, some still live in these towns.

Avery and Emrys’ dad explains at some point why magic is hidden. When there is a group a people that are perceived as “better” than another, one of two things tend to happen. Either the “better” group is worshiped by others and that power goes to they’re head and they abuse that power and the people who follow them, or more likely, the “better” group becomes feared and hunted and no one from the group is safe even if they have never harmed a soul. Both of these have happened before to the magi and the decision was made to stay hidden from non-magi and one can only tell a non-magi about magic if a council agrees to it. (this is how Hayleigh only has one magi parent)

In the beginning of the story, the five play this game they call truth. They place out a bunch of drinks, one containing a potion that temporarily turns skin blue. Before starting, they all drink a truth potion. Everyone asks each other questions and then have a choice, answer or drink. They play until all the drinks are drank and someone is stuck with blue skin for a day.

Wow, that’s more than I realized. A lot of this was just sitting in my head rather than on paper. It’s one of the only character driven ideas I had too. Most things I come up with are plot driven. This was fun to think about when I was still working on it. Like I said before, this wip is dead, but it was a useful one. It helped me with character development. A lot of characters I’ve written tend to just have the story happen to them, but these guys helped me see how the characters can affect the plot. I guess what I’m trying to say is, no idea is a waste, you learn from every piece you work on, even if you decide to drop it. I also wanted to share this idea with someone.

I know this is crazy long, so thanks for reading this far.

[shewantedtobeasecretgirl]

3. Pleased to meet you a. k. a. androids, reserved groupies, gentlemen and rude boys (Part One)

„Mom, are you asleep?” I whisper as I sneak in her room.

“Not anymore…” she sighs. “I’ve hoped since you turned five that one day you’ll realize how unnecessary this question is…”

“Sorry… I…I go back to sleep…” I feel suddenly guilty for waking her up in the middle of the night.

“I’m just kidding, come here, sweetie!”

I slip under the cover on the other side of the bed and crawl next to her. I can’t understand how she can still sleep in this large bed. Effie and I have maintained the habit of sometimes visiting Mom’s bed when we want to feel like children again, which is maybe pathetic and implies the urgent need of a psychotherapist but makes me feel safer than anything. I smell Dad’s scent on the pillow, which is probably only the cruel product of my mind as the cover of it got washed at least two hundred times since then. I swallow a salty teardrop to prevent myself from crying.

“Mom…”

“Hm?”

“I can’t sleep…”

“Of course you can’t sleep. If you could I would start worrying if you got kidnapped by aliens who put you through a brainwashing or replaced you with an android.” she remarks sleepily.

“Thanks… do you even know what androids are?” I slap back.

“Who do you think I am? Of course I know. Mr. Taylor is a huge sci-fi fan so every time I visit him he makes me check the whole building since he’s convinced that aliens are hiding in his home. Once he even got me to crawl under his bed, of course I didn’t find any aliens. But what I did find were his denture for which we had been looking desperately for almost two weeks. As for androids, he suspected me being one as well since I bought him raspberry yoghurt by chance instead of the strawberry-flavored sort which is his favorite. So please, don’t question my knowledge about androids.”

“And how can you be sure that I’m not an android who’s trying to trick you by saying she can’t sleep?”

“I give up… You’re worse than my clients…” she yawns.

“But at least I can change my own diaper without help…” I snicker, which makes her snort too.

“So what’s the matter? You’re already stressed out by the possible events of the next few months?”

“I don’t know. If something happened to Effie while I’m away and I couldn’t help her, I would never forgive myself.”

“You don’t have to feel guilty for leaving us. Actually, I’ve never told you but I’m as much concerned about you as about Effie’s health.”

“About me? But I’m okay, I’m healthy, I have a degree…”

“But you’re lonely and you live like a recluse. I’ve never heard you mentioning any friends from New York, you don’t see your high school friends anymore, you don’t have colleagues who you could go out with…”

“But Effie is actually my best friend, and…” I cut her off.

“I’m happy for having such wonderful daughters who are inseparable but you should start building your own life too…”

“Oh no, it’s about the “find a husband” thing, isn’t it? I can’t believe…” I sigh.

“No, ford God’s sake, no! I just think you narrow your world to your work and us and I don’t want you to feel later that you didn’t collect enough experiences…”

“With guys?”

“With everything! You don’t go out, you don’t travel anywhere, you don’t date but you’re 24. These supposed to be your most memorable years, don’t waste them, you’re can finally drink legally without any grey hairbreadth!” she nudges me encouraging. “But that’s why I’m glad you accepted the job offer. For the record, Effie agrees with me on that, she’s pretty much psyched about the whole thing and at least her brain is full of these thoughts instead of…”

“I know, she doesn’t leave me alone with her daydreaming… But those people seem to be quite different than me… I don’t know any of them but Karrie… They are probably surrounded by party faces who dance on the table or smoke one joint after the other. Not to mention the job part of it…”

“Why do you try to convince yourself about having made a wrong decision? You haven’t even met “those people” yet! Besides, I’ve known for some time you want to do something surprising, something that is out of your comfort zone. When you came out of your room after the conversation with Karrie, I saw on your face that this was it! But for some reasons you play your compulsory hesitation this time too…”

“Mom?” I interrupt her, not because she’s not right but because I know she can’t help me to get rid of this feeling. “How did you know it?”

“I’m your mother and mothers know everything. Or, I’m an android who can read in peoples mind. Or, both of us are androids and we were programmed by the same person, which created a special connection between us. But androids need to spend some time in sleep mode too…”

“Okay, I get it… Good night, Mom!”

“Good night, my android roadie!”

***

“Carefully with the old bag, my dear!” Granny moans while I’m trying to help her to get out of the car. Mom stands already at the trunk to hand her enormous backpack to Judy. It‘s almost larger than Judy although she sorted its content at least three times to reduce it to the most necessary clothes and personal belongings. Anyway, she’s to spend her next months with guys who share their stuffs and have worn the same shirts probably for months so it was easy to convince her about keeping her luggage as modest as possible. With a few necessary precautions…

Judy looks paler than usual and this effect is multiplied by the dark shadows around her eyes. She spent the last two weeks with preparing for her new job and to stay true to herself she took it very seriously. After the interview she literally panicked and begged me to call Victor, my former high school classmate who works at Rock Candy so that he would show her the basics of a sound system and the tasks of a rock band’s staff. She hung out there after work almost every evening and in the remaining time she was listening to Ten and the tapes with unreleased songs that Krisha gave her until she learnt them to the last note. She got labeled as a nerd by her classmates for reason, her perfectionism made her immediately worrying about the possible expectations of her new employers. But it’s kinda cute how tenacious she tried to become a perfect monitor engineer in two weeks with the same enthusiasm as she studied for being the valedictorian of her class. She can’t do anything in a low-key way.

As we enter the main hall of Sea-Tac Airport I notice that the check-in counter of Judy’s flight to Cleveland has already been opened. Get it over with fast, I don’t want to get too emotional. It’s inevitable, though, Granny will start crying anyway and Mom always cries when Granny cries and so on…

“I’ve got something for you, Sis!” I turn to Judy. I almost forgot about it, the other thing was on my mind all evening...

“Do I want to know about it?” she asks pretending to be desperate.

“It’s very funny… You don’t even deserve it. I’ve changed my mind, I keep it.” I shake my head reprovingly.

“A present? But you needn’t have…”

“It’s a very useful present, if I were you I’d take it…” Mom winks at me.

“So… I think you’ll know for what purpose… ” I place a small package onto Judy’s palm.

As she opens the little box wrapped in paper and recognizes its content her face lights up immediately.

“A mini tape recorder! Effie, this is awesome!” she captures me in a rib-breaking hug.

“But there’s a rule! I want to hear the newest stuffs while you’re away. There are more tapes, we can manage somehow that you always have one with you for recording your ideas. As I receive a tape I copy it and send it back to you, okay?”

“I don’t want to get them lost, we have to figure out the exact method… I don’t know if I’ll be able to find time to record my ideas... or if I’ll have ideas at all, I count with busy days… But if I won’t, I still can use it to that groupie thing!” she raises her eyebrows quickly a few times referring to our recent conversation.

“I’m sure that surrounded by so many musicians you’ll have more ideas than ever…”

“Just don’t forget to eat, sweetie.” Granny warns her. “When you’re busy, you tend to forget to eat. Didn’t you forget your sandwiches at home, did you?” Granny’s biggest fear before travels is that we’ll starve to death so she always makes sure if we have a detailed plan about our meals at least five days in advance.

“Granny, if I wasn’t able to get food when I’m hungry, I would have already died due to natural selection!” Judy gently strokes her shoulders but when Granny begins to share her advice and warnings, nobody can stop her.

“And be cautious with those men! Don’t let yourself get drugged and seduced!” Here we are; the Granny Show has started. I think my favorite part comes right next… I glance at Mom and I can see she’s trying to repress her laughter, just like me. By the way, Granny is always right…

“Those men? Granny, they’re just guys in their twenties!”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about young lady!” Granny pokes Judy in the chest with her index finger. She leans closer to her and keeps pestering her more quietly. “Judy, my little star, it’s so embarrassing to ask this but someone has to do it… Do you have ‘that thing’ in your bag, don’t you?” Oh my God, this episode is better than I’ve thought.

“That thing? What is ‘that thing’?” Judy asks back suspecting she doesn’t want to know the answer.

“ ‘That thing’… you know… if it still happens… you have to take precautions, young men are so irresponsible nowadays… You know, I watch TV a lot, I’ve already heard a lot about that AIDS disease…” I see that Judy realized in the meantime what Granny was trying to say but she wants to trap her with the topic she came up with.

“Granny, I’m more and more confused. Please be more specific!” Judy plays the uncomprehending, innocent little girl. Mom turns in the direction of the departures board but the shaking of her shoulders reveals her.

“Judy, my dear, I’m talking about… you know…” Judy keeps waiting with an amused smile for her uttering the end of the sentence. “Condom!” she whispers in horror and at this point Mom, Judy and I erupt into a loud laughter, which makes her more embarrassed than the word she’s just said.

“First of all, I don’ think I would need ‘that thing’. I’m supposed to work with them, like ‘work’, literally. But if I still would, it’s rather the guy’s responsibility to be prepared. Aaand, if he’s not prepared but I can’t resist the temptation, there are bunch of ways of having fun to which you don’t need ‘that thing’. I’m sure you’re being a widow with one daughter and two granddaughters, there’s nothing new for you, Granny.” Judy grins, which makes Granny get close to fainting. Of course I know that Judy’s cheeky remark about sexual alternatives was only meant to freak her out, I’m sure as hell she would chicken out if someone tried to get so close to her that she would need ‘that thing’. But Granny is always right… And I took the precautions, Granny, even if you think you’re the only responsible adult in this family…

“Sorry Granny, I adore how much you’re concerned about me, I just can’t shut my big mouth.” she embraces her. “But I think I should go…” Judy is still wiping the teardrops of laughter from her eyes. Or are those already different kinds of teardrops?

While Judy is standing in the cue, I exchange a bitter look with Mom. Until now I was focused on Judy’s exciting perspectives and ignored the fact that I would miss her. Fuck, I’ll miss her a lot…

After finishing the check-in process she kisses and hugs all of us in a suspiciously short time and before we could get really touched she sets off with quick steps for the security check. Before entering the security zone she turns back for a second, sends an awkward wave to us and disappears in the crowd immediately.

***

“Sir… excuse me, sir… EXCUSE ME!” I have to repeat the same sentence more times, as usual. People at public places usually can’t hear me when I’m speaking to them, or even if they can, they misunderstand what I’ve said, which often leads to miswritten names, misheard numbers, wrongly taken orders.

“Oh, sorry… Good afternoon, Madame, may I help?”

The receptionist of the hotel turns to me distracted, as if he had woken up from a deep dream.

“As far as I know, I have a reservation for this night.”

“Your name, please?”

“Camden, Judith Emilia.”

“A moment, please… would you repeat it?”

I can’t believe that.

“Camden. C, A, M, D, E, N.” I spell and I can hear my voice getting sharper.

“Sorry, I can’t find your name in the book.”

“It’s maybe a group reservation. I’m a crew member of Pearl Jam.” I explain.

Suddenly his expression changes and his lips form a patronizing smile.

“I’m afraid, in that case I can’t help you, Miss Camden.” he closes the book with a quick move.

“How do you mean…?”

“Well, you’ve been the fifteenth female person today who claims being a stuff member of Pearl Jam.” he emphasizes the word “female” in a mocking tone, which makes me clear what he’s thinking about me. I feel my cheeks reddening. This damn blushing… Even if I don’t have any reason for feeling embarrassed…

“Look, I’m not like those female guests, I have my contract in my bag, I have every single document…” I try to get him to open the book again.

“I’m sorry Miss Camden, but our main principle is discretion, I have to follow strict rules, I’m only allowed to let in persons who arrive with the band or with their manager. You don’t need to show any documents, I can’t help you, I can’t make any exceptions.” he rejects my attempt.

I stare perplexed and frozen at him. But I decide not to beg him and every single brain cell of mine starts searching for a plan ‘B’. Should I call Krisha? She gave me her office number… But if I called her, she would think I’m a loser with the problem solving skills of a pupil in the second grade… The crew is probably not here; Karrie told me something about an afternoon sound check… Yes, this is it! Krisha gave me a list with the names, addresses and phone numbers of the clubs where the band plays the remaining shows of the US tour. If I called the club, I could ask if they’re still there and maybe I could join them…

“Thank you, I really appreciate you efforts, good bye!” I tweet to him and leave the lobby almost cheerful, relieved by my idea. The receptionist gazes puzzled after me, probably the other female persons weren’t so happy after getting thrown out…

I slam into the first phone booth, throw my backpack on the ground and tear off the thick folder from its backside. After a short search I find the number I need and I dial it impatiently. After a few ringing I hear a bored male voice on the other end of the line.

“Peabody’s Down Under…”

This time I’m more cautious.

“Hello, I’m Krisha Augerot from Curtis Management. I would like to talk with Karrie Keyes, from the Pearl Jam crew, it’s very urgent. Are they still rehearsing?” I try to sound impressive.

“Yes, they’re still here, I’ll look for her, hold the line, please…”

I hear a deep boom from the background, the band probably started playing in the meantime.

“Krisha? Hi, what happened? Is everything okay?” Karrie breaths heavily, she must have hurried to the phone.

“Calm down, Karrie, it’s just me, Judy!” I snicker.

“Judy???”

“Yes, don’t ask anything… I had problems with the check-in at the hotel so I decided to use an alias…”

“Problems? Alias?”

“Yeah, the receptionist took me for a groupie or what…”

“Hahaha, you? For a groupie?” she giggles. I feel somehow a little bit offended, although as I look down at myself I have to acknowledge I’m not the archetype of band chasing butterflies. My braids, my glasses, my long, brown and loose dress which ends where my docs begin…

“Hey, the world needs reserved groupies too, they’re also valuable members of society!” I defend myself. “Anyway, the thing is that I can’t check in so I thought I joined you at the club. Is it far from the hotel?”

“No, only a couple blocks away, a few minutes on foot. I tell you how to get here, listen…”

***

I’m standing in front of the stage and watching them play. Right after the last chords of “Even flow” Stone walks to Eddie shaking his head.

“You fucked up again at the beginning of the second chorus. You fucked up at the same part even during our first show, which wasn’t a big deal because we played for survival but we’ve already played this damn thing for one and a half year…”

“Because Dave’s fuckin’ cymbal noises drive me crazy, I can’t focus on anything… And that damn smoke kills my throat…” Eddie slaps back nettled glancing angrily at Dave.

“Hey, you’ve forbidden me to smoke on the bus, which I’ve accepted so I would appreciate if you didn’t want to crucify me for having a few cigarettes anywhere else…” Dave joins the quarrel in a sharp tone.

“A few cigarettes? You fume like a fuckin’ smokestack!” Eddie yells at him.

“Interesting, nobody complains about the suffocating sweet smell of Jeff’s incenses. I’ve already given up counting my allergic reactions to them, I’m basically suffering during the journeys, over and above my wrists hurt like hell. But my problems don’t seem to be as important as those of the others…”

“Hey man, at least I try to do something for our living conditions! That fuckin’ bus smells like a polecat hole, the ape house in the zoo is a rose garden in comparison to that!”

“A hole of alcoholic polecats, to be exact. Mike, you should do something with your messy shirts, they smell of vomit… And if you think that we haven’t noticed that you’re basically hiding a whole bar under your bed, you’re wrong.” Stone targets Mike this time.

“Hey, they’re for sterilization…” Mike tries to explain himself.

“If you don’t want to produce little McCreadys during the tour, just cut your balls off or wash your feet wearing socks!” Stone misunderstands his words intentionally. “Anyway, has anybody seen my guitar tuner?” he asks out of character.

“A missing object again? Seriously Stone, you should see an expert, this level of obliviousness is already pathological. I’ve got fed up with the whole band’s searching for your shit…” Eddie attacks him.

“I wouldn’t be oblivious if I could sleep more but I have to babysit Mike every single night, I get into the bed basically in the morning, I need intravenous caffeine, it’s no wonder I’m insane…”

“Hey, nobody asked you to babysit me!”

“Nobody asked me, but I don’t want to be executed by the furious crowd after we announce we canceled the show since we had left our lead guitarist dancing naked in front of the McDonalds in the last town.”

Everybody shouts with everybody. The roads glance at each other helplessly, they shrug and with that move they basically decide not to intervene. As I turn back I see a short and slim young girl staring the guys on stage with a scared face. She carries a giant backpack – as much as I know about the laws of physics she should fall back from its weight. She might be the new girl…

“Aren’t they supposed to be friends? What if they were enemies…” she asks with a questioning expression.

“They’re just sick of touring… Imagine spending months with the same people, even if they’re your friends… You would probably want to kill them in the cruelest ways…” I step to her.

“I hope this verbal crowd fight won’t get physical. If the singer and the bassist teamed up, the drummer might have a chance to survive but those two bags of bones…” she shakes her head.

“Yeah, the coroner would have a hard job while collecting their residues with a spoon… maybe a mop and a bucket could help…” I grin.

“But the relatives might be able to identify them from their teeth…”

“Or from their internal organs… like ‘oh my God, that liver looks familiar, he had his father’s liver!” we both snicker. In the meantime the guys begin to play ‘Porch’ and as Eddie counts in she clicks with her tongue a few times. “That’s too fast… If the drummer doesn’t take back from the pace the guitarists’ hands will ignite…” Okay, she must be the new girl… “Okay, what’s that guy doing?” she asks when Eddie starts performing a reduced version of his usual climbing show on Jeff’s amplifier to jump back on the stage. As he touches down he loses his balance, ends up on the ground and stays there rolling back and forth. “Is he performing scenes from The Exorcist? I wouldn’t be surprised if he turned out to eat roads for breakfast…”

“Hahaha, I don’t think so!” I giggle, and I decide to delay a bit revealing who I am. I like this girl. I can finally talk with someone sincerely, she’s objective, she doesn’t know who I am and I’m fed up with polite and diplomatic lies which are addressed to Eddie Vedder’s faceless girlfriend.

“If I hadn’t listened to their songs earlier, I wouldn’t understand a word from the lyrics…” she remarks during the last chorus.

“And do you like their lyrics?’ I ask curiously.

“Uhm… A little bit too much of fucked up childhood and family issues, or at least for my taste but it’s definitely a good point that they’ve broken up with the infinite permutation of the girls-cars-drugs combo… Although the singer should take care of his voice, his tone is very unique but he basically yells. On one hand, it sounds flat and on the other hand I guess he’ll have voice problems within one month…”

If you knew… Eddie overstrained his vocal chords a few times in the last weeks. He would have needed a break after the European tour but they didn’t have much time to recover before the next one in the U.S.

“Maybe I can convince him about it.” I smile because the song ends in the meantime. “I’m Beth, Eddie’s girlfriend.” I offer my hand.

“What? Shit… I thought you belong to the club’s staff! I didn’t mean to…Sorry…” she shakes my hand confused. “Anyway, I’m Judy, Karrie’s second cousin.”

“I know; you’re the new girl everybody talks about. And you don’t need to apologize, I appreciate honest opinions… But I think it’s time you introduced yourself to the others!” I push her gently towards the stage.

[artskoolie]

The Idea, The How, and The Road Trip

Hello! Welcome to The Art Skoolie!

This post is going to be an introduction to the journey my partner and I have had so far in taking steps to convert a school bus into a tiny house. Our goal with this blog is to give interested folks a chance to see the steps, the logistics, the materials, and the methods we are using for our construction process. I will include separate posts that only have links to the appliances, materials, and businesses we are utilizing for our build. I will also mention that this post is not about convincing people to build or otherwise get into tiny houses. We are assuming that you are already excited about the idea, and want to know more. Bear in mind, also, that we are sharing what has worked for us, and we encourage you to use materials or methods that work better for you.

Alright. Anyway, my name is Hannah. My partner’s name is James. We live in Denver, Colorado in a 700 feet squared apartment with our black cat, Grace. We both had accepted a long time ago that we would probably just be paying rent for the rest of our lives; either as rent-rent, or as a mortgage. It is a lifestyle that most Americans have, and it is growing more difficult by the day for the vast majority of us to secure that kind of lifestyle. Owning a condo or a house was the best we thought we would ever be able to do.

I had been struggling to find work for a few months, and we were trying to think of ways that we could consume less. Our electricity bill is calculated by averaging the electricity use of every other tenant in our building. We have so much stuff just lying around, taking up space, that we are really only keeping around in case we might need it sometime in the future if we ever decide we felt like doing it. And, even if we do, we spend forever and a day organizing stuff (again!) so we could just figure out where the one thing is. Our bathroom has a ton of counter space and floor space for the size of apartment that we have, and neither of us spends a ton of time in there. Not to mention the donated goods, garbage, and recycling we generate by making purchases thoughtlessly, and either it rotting or us deciding that we never wanted to do the thing to begin with. Purchasing food more intentionally, cooking more, and not making as many trips to the kitchen equipment section at the thrift store were a start, but still didn’t make the difference we were looking for.

But then, I remembered tiny houses.

I’d heard about tiny houses for years, over the various forms of social media, and thought it was the craziest thing I’d ever heard of. “That sounds like living in a shack!” I thought. “Why would anyone do that?” Strangely, in the last couple of months, YouTube’s algorithms had spat out tiny house videos into my feed, so I checked them out. They highlighted all of the benefits of having fewer, better quality possessions that you use regularly, and not even having room to accumulate crap you’ll never use. At that point, I thought it looked doable, even appealing. “Sure, but only rich people can do that. Look at how much those things cost!” That obstacle was discounted when I saw people building dwellings for $5000 or less. I started thinking about the idea more seriously. I had all sorts of questions that each got answered with relative ease, significantly pruning my initial wariness. (e.g. where will we shower? where will we store everything? how will the bed not be right next to the toilet? where will we wash our clothes? etc.) (Answers: In the shower we install on board; In cleverly placed drawers, cabinets, and on shelves and hanging storage; It doesn’t necessarily have to be; See answer #2)

I was initially scared to bring the idea up to James, because he is such a pragmatist, but the more videos and blogs I saw, the more I realized that people were doing this successfully. Almost all of them had some kind of help in creating their homes, but who in the world never needs help?

Then I saw a video about a couple in/from Australia (I think?) who had bought the man’s childhood school bus and used all salvaged materials to create a little home that suited all of their needs. The two pieces that caught my attention the most were that everything on the bus had been salvaged or built with salvaged materials; and that they had lived on the bus full time and traveled in it for seven years. That was what made my mind up.

When I first floated the idea of living in a tiny house with James, he was skeptical, as I had suspected he might be. However, I showed him some of the content I had seen online from people who had built tiny houses, and answered all the same questions from him that I had had, and he was on board.

Before I go any further, I think this is a good time to acknowledge that building a tiny house is not financially feasible for many people. Most of the stories we have seen involve people who have a large property, or have friends or relatives with a large property, and friends with construction experience or have it themselves. The materials, knowledge, and time required are not something everyone has, and is not the answer for everyone. We both come from relatively privileged backgrounds. Both of us have/had parents with steady jobs that allowed us to grow up in middle-class, relatively safe communities, and we are both white. Not to mention, James’s mother had a job as a younger woman which accrued retirement money; and when she passed away, she left James $30,000. So, what I’m trying to say is, as a result of our socioeconomic backgrounds, we found ourselves in a better position to undertake the cost of building a home. As you will find out, or may already suspect, it is not cheap. It’s much cheaper than buying a house outright in Denver, but it is definitely not cheap.

When we were initially thinking about it, we researched vacant lot prices for building, or parking, a tiny house on. We quickly realized that would be out of the question in Denver if we wanted to have a house on whatever lot we chose. We were stumped.

But then, I remembered the video about the Australian couple who had made a tiny house on a school bus. They had raised the roof, created two sleeping lofts for themselves and their two children, and they even had a kitchen and a place to lounge. It didn’t look cramped at all. In fact, it looked like as reasonable a size as the trailer bed tiny houses we’d been looking at more seriously. James told me about how his parents had had a Volkswagon Vanigan when he was a child, and he used to play around in it and pretend it was his house; so a bus seemed even more appealing.

We thought, “If we can salvage the materials, and spend any money we have on new appliances and lumber for the structural stuff, we could build a house inside an existing bus, which can move around independently while we save money on daily living costs and build up enough money to buy the land we want to build another tiny house.” It was perfect. We were going to convert a school bus.

We started heavily researching construction methods, the process others were using to convert their buses, seeing what people did for water, heat, electricity, choosing a bus that was the right size. We didn’t want one that was too small, as we didn’t want to feel too cramped; but we also didn’t want one that was too long, because it would be more difficult to maneuver, and there would be fewer places to park. We estimated that we would probably find the best size-to-functionality ratio in a school bus twenty-four to thirty-two feet long. We wanted to have the build completed by winter 2019, so we wanted to get started as soon as possible. We were going to be flying to New York to visit my mother in the first week of January, and we figured we could work on finding a bus after we got back from the trip.

We checked out Craigslist for buses in our area, but all of the listings we found had buses that either needed serious mechanical work done or didn’t move at all. Trying not to get discouraged, I checked eBay, figuring there might be some viable listings. Almost immediately, I found one for a 2003 International thirty-foot school bus (DT466 EE engine), with its mechanical work all up to date, being sold from an hour south of where my mother lives. The seller had one hundred percent positive feedback. Growing up with my mother selling her art on eBay for a living, I knew how difficult and important it was to have one hundred percent positive feedback. We contacted the seller and found out that no one had made an offer yet on the bus. Feeling like we’d lost our minds, we made arrangements to meet up with him the following Friday, when we would be in New York. Our plan after we picked up the bus was to drive it home to Denver at the end of our visit. So far, this seemed like the beginning of a long joke.

We flew to New York, touched base with our seller, bought insurance for the bus, and had a whole ordeal with the New York DMV that I will get into in another post. After finding out firsthand how underfunded the New York Department of Transportation is, we drove to our seller’s house, picked up our bus, and drove it to my mom’s, where her landlord was kind enough to let us store it until we left.

On the trip back, both of us quickly got comfortable with driving the bus. The main thing to keep in mind is that, since it is such a large vehicle, it would take more force and more time to maneuver and stop; meaning, keep a safe distance between yourself and the vehicle in front of you, check mirrors religiously, and start breaking pretty far away.

About three hours east of Denver, we broke down. The worst thing about this situation was the fact that a nasty snow storm started blowing in a few minutes before, and we were miles from the nearest town. However, we started learning a lot of things about the bus’s engine really quickly, Googling like crazy to figure out what the problem could be. We contacted our seller and told him what happened, and he said that in engines of the type we have, if the oil level got low enough, it would automatically shut off. We were able to get roadside assistance through our insurance after a while (the snow was bad enough that they were delayed in getting to us), and the mechanic who helped us (who is amazing, and I will link his shop at the end) spent an hour hooking our bus up to his tow truck, put oil in the engine, tried and failed to get it to start, and towed us an hour west to Limon. He replaced our fuel filter the next day, it still wouldn’t start, and then towed us to a diesel mechanic ten minutes south of where we live in Denver. (Joe, you are a diamond)

One thing we did not take as seriously as we should have was that our fuel gauge was broken. It was stuck on “Full”. Even though we kept track of the mileage and fueled every three hundred fifty miles or so, we apparently did not fuel often enough. The diesel mechanic, after confirming that the fuel line was functioning properly, was able to determine that we had run out of fuel. Now, I am the first to admit that this situation was completely avoidable and kind of hilarious; but I am also incredibly grateful that we had the help that we did, and that something worse was not wrong.

Anyway, we have a bus now. I will provide more details in the next post about our plans and materials in the future.

Thanks for reading! Please share if you found this post enjoyable or helpful. Feel free to send a message or leave a comment if you have any questions.

My Etsy store: https://www.etsy.com/shop/MustBeSilly?ref=search_shop_redirect

The bus that clinched it: https://youtu.be/aq7DmqXDXUY

The angel mechanic from Limon, Colorado:

George’s Repair Shop

199 Main Street

Limon, CO 80828

719-775-8828

Ask for Joe! Tell him James and Hannah from Denver sent you.