#neon's void

[styrofauxm]

OH THANK GOD IT WASN'T JUST ME WITH SAPIENS

[PT: oh thank god it wasn't just me with Sapiens /end PT]

I need you to know that I literally threw my hands up in the air in real life at this ask, the validation was so gratifying.

It actually is such a terrible book and it's disgraceful that it's as popular as it is, and any teacher using it in their class should be ashamed. I am very serious about that.

The author has a degree in world history. Not a degree in anthropology or religion or evolutionary science or psychology or any of the many other fields he presents himself as knowledgeable in. He is vastly under qualified to be writing that book to begin with.

But I mean, benefit of the doubt and all, maybe he did great research and worked with experts in those fields and will talk about that. Nope. Not even a little bit. He makes dozens of claims every chapter and sources one or two of them, if that. So either he's a plagiarist, lying, or both. And because I went through and fact checked a lot of the claims, I can say that he's mostly just lying.

Also, in case you are wondering just how bad it is, here's my very first highlight from the very first chapter.

This book is celebrated in academic circles and if that doesn't speak to a massive failure of academia, I don't know what does.

And that's not even getting into the criticisms from actual experts in the fields he discusses.

[styrofauxm]

You CAN interest me in a weevil!

Weebil.....

[ID copied from art: A cartoon drawing of a brown weevil wearing a multicolored propeller hat. It looks small compared to the empty space on the rest of the page, and it has watery eyes and shaky legs. The background is pale yellow. End ID.]

[styrofauxm]

Honestly, I am pretty frustrated by the "haha why would anyone hate ace people" responses to Rowling's tweet.

Don't get me wrong, the support is nice. But if you want to be an ally, you have to do so on our terms, not yours. And that means actually engaging with the aspec community, not just posting positivity every now and again. And what those responses highlight to me is what I've known for a while; you guys only support aspec people when it's easy and convenient.

It's easy to support aspec people when it's J.K. Rowling being awful again. It's easy to support us when it's just reblogging an "aspec people are queer" post.

But what about when we are talking about amatonormativity and the relationship hierarchy? When we are discussing the enforcement of compulsory sexuality? When we are pushing for greater awareness and support for aspec identities that are not asexuality or aromanticism? When we are criticizing terminology that you use but harms us? Because I can tell you right now, I rarely see allo people engage with those posts.

Why do people hate asexuality (or any other aspec identity)? Because it challenges the societal norms that benefit them. And that is uncomfortable and scary. So they turn to hate and oppression in order to assure that the changes we push by just openly existing never happen.

That means that to be a good aspec ally, you can't just make a positivity post every now and again, and you can't just laugh about how stupid aphobes are. You have to openly challenge the societal norms that harm us, even if they benefit you. Including but not limited to:

The idea that romantic and sexual attraction is the default state of being (amatonormativity)

The idea that a romantic, sexual relationship completes a person

People in marriages receiving special privileges and benefits

The idea that platonic, familial, etc. attraction are default states of being

The idea that not feeling some form of attraction must be compensated for through another form of attraction

The idea that love (not just romantic) is inherently morally good, while not feeling love is inherently a moral failing

The idea that any one form of relationship is inherently more important or deeper than any other (relationship hierarchy)

The idea that any one thing makes someone human

The idea that not having sex is shameful or infantile

The idea that having sex without romantic love is callous

Gendered divides of sexual and romantic attraction

Other aspec people please feel free to add on/challenge any of this. Allo (not aspec) people please feel free to ask questions.

Additions:

Addition from @blkaroculture

Addition (in tags) from @fluffytimearts

Addition (in tags) from @cjreblogsthings

I've placed some resources for learning more about these topics under the cut.

Amatonormativity:

[PT: Amatonormativity:]

1. Amatonormativity Coining

2. Introduction to Amatonormativity

3. Challenging Amatonormativity

4. Effects of Amatonormativity and Compulsive Sexuality on Asexual and Aromantic College Students

5. Effects of Amatonormativity On Black, Polyamorous Men

6. Essay on Amatonormativity From a Aroallo, Loveless Perspective

Marriage Benefits:

[PT: Marriage Benefits:]

1. Article about Singlism and Marital Privilege

Other Aspec Identities:

[PT: Other Aspec Identities:]

1. Aplatonicism

2. Afamilialism

Loveless:

[PT: Loveless:]

1. Loveless articles on the AUREA website

2. Essay on Amatonormativity From a Aroallo, Loveless Perspective (repeat from Amatonormativity section)

3. Follow-up Essay on Lovelessness and Aroallo Antagonism

4. Results of a Survey of Loveless People (part 2 is linked instead of part 1 as part 1 is mostly demographic information)

5. Guide to Writing Loveless Characters (it focuses on fictional characters so should not be taken as a catch-all for real people, but it still has a ton of good information about lovelessness and loveless antagonism)

Compulsory Sexuality:

[PT: Compulsory Sexuality:]

1. Effects of Amatonormativity and Compulsive Sexuality on Asexual and Aromantic College Students (repeat from Amatonormativity section)

2. Breakdown of Compulsory Sexuality

Relationship Hierarchy vs Relationship Anarchy:

[PT: Relationship Hierarchy vs Relationship Anarchy:]

1. Relationship Anarchy Coining

2. Breakdown of Relationship Anarchy

3. Issues Presented by the Relationship Hierarchy

Oppression:

[PT: Oppression:]

1. Aphobia Masterpost

2. Asexual History and Oppression

3. Asexual Theory 101

Miscellaneous:

[PT: Miscellaneous:]

1. Research on Aromantics

2. Ace in the UK Research and Activism ft. Yasmin Benoit

3. Asexual History and Oppression (repeat from Oppression section)

4. Asexual Theory 101 (repeat from Oppression section)

Books and Video Essays:

[PT: Books and Video Essays:]

An Ace Discourse Retrospective by Jenny Geist

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown

[styrofauxm]

look. i'm sorry. really sorry for not just letting this die. but it bugs me. so suffer i guess.

If I saw a canonically trans character and said "well I prefer to write them as cis" people would be pissed at me, for good reason.

If I saw a canonical trans woman/man character and wrote them as a demigirl/boy and said "while the show just says she/he's trans, not that she/he's a trans woman/man" people would be pissed at me, also for good reason.

If a character was directly implied to be trans, and the creator confirmed later that they were meant to be trans, and I went "well it wasn't said explicitly in the show so it's not canon," people would be pissed at me, for good reason.

If the majority of a fandom did those things, we could collectively agree that the fandom is really transphobic.

You can sub this out for any queer identity with mainstream representation, and probably non-queer identities too.

So why is it considered acceptable to do these things to aspec characters?

Why are ships contrary to aspec identities the only ships against a character's canon queer identity that get popular?

Why are aspec people the only ones that get consistent ship discourse over our real identities?

Why are aspec people the only ones asked to sit back and take it?

Why is it on aspec people to not ruin allo people's fun in fandom, but allo people are allowed to ruin ours?

(The answer to all of the above is: aspec identities are viewed by other queer people as functionally straight and are treated as such)

[styrofauxm]

Look at me. Hey. This is not the end of the world. It is not the end of your life.

The media will exaggerate literally everything he does.

But in 4 years? He's out for good. And we can elect a president that will undo every single thing he did. Just like Biden did last time.

And in the meantime? Call your representatives on measures that matter to you. Protest. Campaign.

It's going to be scary, but this isn't the end of anything.

[styrofauxm]

AoS is such an underrated show because they have a shit ton of protagonists, and they make you adore every single one.

Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't think I've seen any other show pull off having 10-15 major/main protagonists at the same time. And they all are fleshed out, they are all distinct, they all get their own roles, they all get their own arcs, etc..

[styrofauxm]

I've seen a couple posts on my dash talking about a Trump presidency as if it is the genuine end to the world.

It is not.

Yes, he and his base are scary. No, it would not be good if they had control over a global superpower again.

But this is not the end-all-be-all. Local laws and state laws still hold. For many of the Project 2025 goals, they need constitutional amendments, and congress can't agree on anything ever, much less that.

You still have power. You can call your representatives, you can protest, you can vote in other elections.

I won't lie and say it will all be fine. But the world will not end. Things can still work out okay in the long run even if Trump wins now.

So take a breath, close the news and social media (power down your phone if you are too tempted), and go study, clean your house a bit, read a book, watch your favorite TV show, do a hobby, go to bed.

Your stress won't change anything, so go do something you can control, even enjoy, instead.

[styrofauxm]

Last but not least, here are a few songs I've found have aro vibes even if I don't personally relate, and some aro song collections by other aro people for your pleasure!

Songs that explicitly value non-romantic sexual relationships (and there's a few more in the notes too!)

Song with frayromantic vibes

A shit ton of aro songs curated by @aggressivelyarospec (sorry for the tag I just want to give credit where credit is due)

@nano-noa just told me about LOVE by Peggy, saying "has aro vibes even tho the last line tends not to have aro vibes"

Aromantic playlist by M e m p h i s

Aromantic and Asexual playlist by a bunch of different people

Aromantic playlist by Bombaki!

[styrofauxm]

It’s the last day so some desperate propaganda for The Sea Is a Good Place….

This song is so good guys. It’s got yearning. It’s got the devastation of loss. It’s got some of, if not THE, best imagery of any Los Campesinos! song. Tell me you don’t hear the opening notes and see the desolate, gray sea stretched out in front of you. Tell me you don’t feel the waves lapping around your own feet. Tell me you don’t feel the hope in the face of hopelessness.

I like WABWAD. It’s classic. One of the best LC! songs even. But how could you ever vote against The Sea is a Good Place to Think About the Future when it’s everything from WABWAD perfected and expanded upon while also being stunning in its own right?

[styrofauxm]

so another thing about aos that I love is that when we are first shown Daisy and Jiaying's powers they seem to be opposites in that Daisy's destroy while Jiaying's powers heal. Daisy's rip her sense of self apart while Jiaying is so self-assured in hers.

And then we are shown that Daisy's powers destroy her, but the people who love and care about her work so hard to make it so that they stop hurting her. And through them, she finally finds herself and her identity.

And then we are shown that Jiaying's healing requires killing others. People are dragged, unwillingly, to her so that she can hurt even more people. And through them, she slowly loses herself.

So the opposite nature gets flipped. Daisy's are the ones used to help people and Jiaying's destroy people. Daisy's are her path to self actualization while Jiaying's are her path to self destruction.

[styrofauxm]

okay bc I actually was so down for a "Five and Lila get stuck in the apocalypse and finally work out their issues with each other" plot but just, y'know, PLATONICALLY.

Why is that such a big ask in this show?

[styrofauxm]

"I'm not really the kind of guy who yells at people" - man who has literally killed hundreds of people in the heat of the moment

[styrofauxm]

Wait. I just noticed.

FUCK.

I want to be politically informed and educated but I also wanna have a good day and be in a good mood. Do you see my problem?

[styrofauxm]

horrific realization that in order for things to be done I have to go do them :(

[styrofauxm]

Friendly reminder that asexual and/or aromantic =/= not wanting kids, so please stop saying they do.

I get that you don't want them. That's cool. But that's not an asexual thing and it's not an aromantic thing. It's a you thing.

As an aroace person who does want kids, and finds that complicated by being aroace, those posts come off as dismissive at best. So please just stop.

[styrofauxm]

getting into ddvau is like

everyone else: simping after hotguy

me: *stares at cuteguy* i have never felt gender envy this intense