#aspec

[prototypesteve]

Transgender rights are our rights.

I’m an aromantic asexual, cisgendered GenXer, so what do I stand to lose if younger, probably-allosexual, transgendered people get stepped on by a government who doesn’t even know I exist? Everything.

Everyone’s freedom to be their true self is tied to everyone else’s freedom to be their true selves.

Everyone’s inherent dignity is tied to everyone else’s inherent dignity.

If a principled stance doesn’t appeal to you, then take a cold, pragmatic stance. If you want to build a world where asexual and aromantic people can be themselves without being forced to undergo treatment for our “disorders”, then build a world where trans people can be themselves, too. Trans people today’s easy target. We’ll be tomorrow’s easy target¹.

¹ “We need to talk about the growing movement attempting to stop an entire generation from having kids. They’re trying to wipe out the species with their no-sex agenda!” You know they’ll do it once they have a solid win against our transgendered friends in the books. Aspec people fit perfectly into their batshit conspiracy narratives about race-replacement and and and.

[abcwordsurge]

are you ever so obsessed with something that it makes you feel physically ill. like it gets harder to breathe. butterflies in my stomach. the name of my favorite character makes my heart beat faster. is this what attraction feels like for you allo people

[the-ellia-west]

hey i’m aro/ace and saw your post on writing romance and it was really helpful,,, but do you have any tips for writing enemies to lovers? mostly enemies-allies-lovers pipeline

Oh Absolutely! Thank you so much for the ask, love!

How to Write Enemies to Lovers for Dummies

Alrighty! So, the key to Enemies to Lovers is Banter. They need to be the type of Enemies to trash talk each other

Before we begin here's some fun psychology facts that make Enemies to Lovers even more fun!

1. If you think someone is hot, you can't/don't actually hate them

2. The opposite of love is indifference not hate (use these as you will)

Anywayssss

Step one!

Writing Enemies to Lovers is the same as normal except that you add on the extra step of them being enemies first, adding more drama and banter throughout

So, you have to make them enemies, naturally. Figure out why they're enemies, why they would specifically hate each other instead of someone else.

Step two

Preferably, make it personal.

Make their arguments and fights feel more like they're fighting each other, and not the actual battle if they're in opposing organizations or something

Step three

Close proximity

Now that you've established how they usually act around each other and their usual banter, find some way to force them into close proximity.

Like one switches sides and the other is now their boss, they're kidnapped together, their bosses go missing, ect.

In close proximity, you want to jeep their former dynamic, but it slowly turns at the least, a bit more polite because they have to work together

(Think about how they'll try to undermine and push each other away according to their personality and morals - but of course make sure it doesn't work and they're still stuck together)

Step four

Give them a 'maybe we could have been friends' moment

Like have them look at each other after a while and go: 'maybe you're not so bad.'

Any of these variations

Step five

Make them talk

Eventually, your characters will be alone together, and they have to talk.

(It's best if one or both of them are in an emotionally vulnerable state)

One of them can ask the other a strangely nice or vulnerable question, they can tell them something, anything really

Examples: 'Have you ever thought about dying?', 'do you ever miss home?', 'you know... I always thought you were better than me.'

Step six

Have them be slightly more compatable by having them voluntarily work together, like coworkers or comrades rather than friends

Step seven

The friends stage

Have them be more friendly and trusting, partners in crime, good friends, and have that slowly develop (make sure to keep their trademark banter throughout)

Whatever level of friends, whether it be aforementioned partners in crime, kinda friends, normal friends, best friends, ect.

Step Seven

The falling for them

Then we develop the crush and eventually fall in love, *refer back to my other post*

[aroaceqoutes]

Aroace culture is not knowing when someone is dating even though to others its "very obvious"

[skys-archive]

Aroace rant below

Something I've noticed about being aroace is people automatically assume that means I don't want any kind of attention or touch. When personally, I really really do. It feels harder to ask because it feels selfish, if I can't see you sexually can I really ask of you to hold me when I need help? If we're not dating can I really expect you to look at me like you see the world?

It just feels so lonely. I see people with their partners so casually sharing each others space and god I want that. I want that without the need to provide sexually. I see people doing this so easily and it makes me so so incredibly, jealous I guess? It makes me wonder whats wrong with me, what makes me so that no one feels they can do those things with me? Even the people closest to me just... don't.

And then the people who are casually touchy and loving with me are always the people I don't want to be. No matter how much I love them there are some people that it just makes me uncomfortable for genuinely no reason and yet those are ALWAYS the people who are the only ones who are willing to show they love me in the ways I want. And yes I do want it. But not with them.

It just feels so wrong, it makes me feel wrong. I wish I wasn't like this so I could feel them.

I don't know. I hate it.

[sysboxes]

[text ID: This system is collectively aroace-flux.]

Like or Reblog if you save or use!!!

[thebluekid-underyourbed]

I just saw a post on my Tumblr feed. It's overarching argument was "love is what makes us human, but everyone experiences some kind of love. There's lots of types of love, ex. Love for family, friends, pets, food, hobbies, etc and everyone experiences love for something in some way"

Okay. So. No ! Like I understand the full point that you're trying to establish, but I think it's wrong (and ofc, no hate to OP).

(Large rant under the cut)

Firstly, some people simply do not experience love. Some people quite literally cannot/will not ever experience love. That's okay. It's something that lots of people are comfortable with, and nobody should feel like their lack of love needs to be supplemented with other things that they enjoy

Second, you can't define people's very own experiences of love for them. Lots of people (myself included) reject the word love. That being said, I personally do use the word love to describe some aspects of my life. I use the word love towards my family, my hobbies, towards random passive objects, whatever I want. HOWEVER, other people may not. Other people might feel exactly the sensation that an allo person feels, but they don't need to call it love. That's how platonic attraction works for me: I feel what people normally describe as friendship, but it feels wrong for me to call that love. That doesn't change what I feel, I just don't want to call it love.

Last, and in my opinion most importantly, is that it's not the point. That's never been the point. It's not about whether someone feels love or not. The real question is why is anyone trying to impose their own opinions of humanity on anyone else. It shouldn't matter either way, and I don't need love to justify my humanity - I am inherently human because I am human. I refuse to define anyone's humanity for them, with or without love, and I refuse to be defined by others. Love does not make us human, our humanity makes us human. Anyone who can't understand the value of inherent humanity shouldn't be talking about anyone else's.

So the next time you feel like someone just "isn't admitting that they love" and that "all people love something, so that is what makes us human", remember that it's not up to you. Who are you to define me. Who are you to tell me that I'm human because I don't feel love. Who are you to tell me that I'm human because I do feel love.

I know what I am, and don't need anyone's permission to be human.

[as-an-asexual]

As an asexual I sometimes question if I really am asexual... but then I hear an allo say something and im like oop im definitely asexual

.

[pawfulofwaffles]

Found this gem in my camera roll

[mossy-aro]

been thinking about the idea of 'coming out' and whether the experience of it is different at all for aspecs. like i feel with other identities when you come out generally (esp in queer circles like most of my friend groups) people already have a baseline of knowledge about gay (and to a lesser extent) trans identities. i think that's kind of different for aspecs though since the default amount of knowledge tends to be zero, or close to it. and so coming out, which is something you typically have to do over and over again, can become an exhausting process instead of a cathartic one (at least to me).

personally, i came out once and then called it quits. i told the people i felt needed to be told, and if i meet more, i'll tell them too. but i would say the vast majority of people i know irl don't realllyyy know that im aroace. coming out isn't really a thing i do. me being aspec/aroace is like an open secret - i'm not hiding it, but it's not something i'll bring up and i'll usually avoid the question if asked. and it's not because i care if anyone knows bc i really don't! but because once that's out there it changes the way people view my behaviour in a way i really don't like. if i say 'that person's good looking' people question whether i am attracted to them and thus my asexuality. it raises questions. if i do anything that contradicts the idea of being aroace = zero attraction and repulsed by the idea of romance/sex, my identity gets questioned and i will have to inevitability explain aspec 101 to them. like no we're not all sex/romance repulsed, also it's a spectrum, also ace and aro people can have sex and date and it doesn't make them less aspec, attraction is complicated, etc. which is something i just genuinely do not and never will have the energy for. i'd rather people just assume i'm allo because it makes my life so much easier unfortunately. my close friends know and that's all that really matters to me. if i sense that someone doesn't already know a lot about aspec people i'm just not going to tell them even if they ask.

[joker-and-the-queen]

an unpopular opinion perhaps, but we need more aromantic, asexual, and aplatonic characters who’s orientations are a result of their disorders

[aussieaspecforces]

Shoutout to my aplatonics, a-aesthetics, asensuals, and afamilials y'all get left out but you don't deserve to be forgotten

[our-aplatonic-experience]

Being loveless and aplatonic is so damn alienating. Outside of the queer community it's all "love is the most important feeling" and "people without friends are so cringe lol", and inside the queer community it's all "even if you don't feel romantic love, love is much broader than that (and it's the most important feeling)" and "im aro and i love my friends so so so much (and people without friends are cringe)"

.

[majesty-perfectgrey]

My friend is a no attraction aroace, and yesterday she was complaining that there aren't any flags for specifically no attraction aroaces. I spent some time researching the different flags of aros, aces, and aroaces (I'm just ace lol), and took into account her preferences

She likes them, so I thought I'd share it with you all

The smaller triangle on the left is black for null attraction (based off of other null flags)

The bigger, light blue triangle is for community/friendship/relationships (my friend wanted a flag with blue lol)

The light black stripes on the top and bottom are acceptance (particularly of null attraction)

The light purple stripe symbolizes the asexual community (influenced by the ace flag)

The white stripe is for wholeness of self (forgot if this was influenced from the aro or aroace)

And the light green stripe is for the aromantic community (around flag influence)

[perfectlyfadingmusic]

Being the extra friend is so depressing. There are times where I feel like my friends bring me along out of pity or because no one else was available. Even more depressing or awkward is being asked to be a bridesmaid. I've been a bridesmaid 5 times and been to so many bachelorette parties and it feels so sad and awkward. And I cant say no! Always the bridesmaid never the bride. I think I'm aro or aroace...im somewhere on that spectrum so marriage probably ain't in the cards but still :-/

Thank you for coming to my ted talk vent on loneliness and being greysexual or maybe demi? I just don't know.

Hi babes i just wanna let you know you're so valid.

Despite having rb-ed that last post and feeling over 90% confident in my asexuality and aromanticness, I get sad thinking that I'll probably never find anyone I want to marry. Though I would love to be single the rest of my life, I can't deny the aspects of loneliness and fomo.

I've spoken to my close friends about the importance of friendship and maintaining that importance, especially when I'm not planning to get coupled up the way they plan to. It's tough being in conversations where everyone's talking about their love interests/SOs and you don't have much to contribute, but making your friends aware of this can make a hell of a difference (it has for me!)

Finally, I'm in a stage of life where a lot of friends got engaged this summer, and even though I do have a pang of sadness looking at myself, it's definitely beat out by the overwhelming joy and happiness I feel for the newly engaged couple, my friends. And romantic love is definitely not all a person needs, despite what the songs might say. It means a lot when someone picks out their closest friends, people who are deeply important in their life, and invites them to be their bridesmaids and walk down the aisle with them. That connection is not non important and not devoid of love. Find friends and people who choose to love you and to choose you, regardless of how you can love them back.

[aroace-anomaly]

what if

aromantic characters