#new blog is @almost-me-again if you're inclined to follow

[my-strange-attraction]

Hey. It's been a bit.

I graduated from college almost a year ago now and it's been... strange. For the purposes of this blog, talking about sexuality and gender and labels, one huge thing that has changed for me is. Not being in my tiny ass college town anymore. HUGE, tbh.

I moved to a city with a huge queer community! And Hinge goes OFF here, it's honestly overwhelming.

I've had my first (and second, and third) "date" now? Kind of underwhelming in all honesty, but that's just because all of those dates were trial dates that didn't end up working out, so it was more like hanging out with friends. GOD, lesbians are so bad about meeting and not feeling romantic chemistry and then wanting to be friends anyways. I am starting to get pretty fatigued with making new friends.

Here I'm yapping again. I wanted to talk about how this has affected my perception of my sexuality.

It's... strange. I feel like the more I've looked at women on dating apps, the less I've been inclined towards them? But I went on a date with a genderqueer person who was more masculine presenting and (hate to say it and make it a Thing but it is kind of a thing for me) AMAB and it was kind of super uncomfortable for me.

Again my bisexual crisis!

I've come back to the conclusion that I do think men are attractive but kind of in the way that I think a long skirt is cute--I like to look, but feel uncomfortable when it's paired with me.

But. I also do feel kind of a distance from women too. Not as much, because I did grow up with women, but there's something about being with fellow sapphic genderqueer people that is just. So comforting? And having something funky going on with gender makes a person SO hot to me.

I've been thinking I'm just autistic, maybe. /hj lmao

I don't know, there's something about having similar experiences. Seeing yourself in someone else. People joke about the gay experience of accidentally dating your doppelganger, but there's something to be said for knowing, at first meeting, that there are certain parts of another person that you immediately can understand and that they can understand about you.

Maybe it's just because I've only been on first dates with people from dating apps, but this has also been the case for me with friendships in the past. I've always been most drawn to my queer, genderqueer, afab best friends. I've always wanted to spend the most time and have the deepest conversations with them.

I think I'm slowly starting to understand what romantic energy feels like to me? More on that another time. Aro followers still here from the times of pre-sexuality-crisis-cloudy, I know you're dying to hear the definition, and I can assure you I'm working on it, haha.

There's more to talk about here than I really have the energy for, at the moment. I'm on my period x_x I just felt the urge to write a real post on this blog for the first time in a while. I'm still alive! I'm still confused. Peace out, cuties ;)

[minorfamilysupremacy]

Just found ur blog and Im living for it. It's so refreshing to see someone whose eyes are open on this app.

The recent news about Joss following all of those alt-right propaganda accounts makes me want to scream " YES AND HE IS CLOSE FRIENDS WITH THE SUMETTIKUL BROTHERS, THEY WENT TO THE SAME SCHOOL, REMEMBER BIBLE'S 9GAG ANYONE??" The math is definitely math-ing.

But sadly, people hate common sense and Bible's cry-fest has made people weirdly defensive of him (I beg straight women to stop centering men in their lives PLEASE) and if I ever spoke up about this (mostly on tiktok where people are making valid arguments about Joss, yet deciding to ignore that we've seen this film before) they'd automatically go "oh you support Build, stfu.

Funny how Bible keeps crying for relevance while being too irrelevant to even be canceled properly. Rewriting history like a lot of us weren't fans of his and knew the previous versions of his life story...

And I had the chance to scroll through the ENTIRE 9gag, comments, likes and all, and it is definitely stuff he should've been held accountable for.

Build seems to be actively trying to improve himself while having the grace to not victimize himself over and over again. Some people just can't relate.

welcome to the least popular blog on the internet :V

and yeah, the double standard w/r/t bible's behavior has driven me crazy for ages. i know the internet is forever and twitter already archived a lot of the vile shit he said, so deleting the comments wouldn't really have made much of a difference, but it did still bug me that he just never bothered to even pretend to care about cleaning up his social media. considering what a rude, entitled, ungrateful brat he's been as well, the comments being up just make him look like he's doubling down on any and all rancid opinions. he's refusing to learn or take accountability, and then he's wondering why he's hemorrhaging fans. like, dude, i was ride or die for you. i defended your ass way past the point i should have. there is a part of me that's sad to see how things have turned out, but i'm also like...well, live your best life, i guess. sorry you squandered your talent in a morass of spite and shitty management.

and quite frankly, i have no time for people who are going to dismiss others' opinions for being build fans. i'm not inclined to give tiktok users the benefit of the doubt as it is (sorry, tiktok users who follow me) but build left boc and shut the fuck up about them. he moved on and has acted graciously and professionally since then. pond & co are the ones who can't keep his name out of their mouths even NOW. build apologized for his shit and has been making a concerted effort to rehab his image. everyone who's boc-adjacent has just been a childish pissbaby for almost two years. if people want to continue clinging to the Correct Internet Feminism opinion of supporting an unhinged liar just because she's a woman, then they're fucking idiots and their opinions mean jack and shit to me. likewise, if you're falling for bible's crocodile tears and revisionist history, then you have fun with that. i'm tuning out whatever you have to say. life's too short to deal with this shit.

[schismusic]

THE DISCOGRAPHY PRINCIPLE, Episode 3: Godflesh - or, Song Against Itself

The discography principle may be defined as an objective way to determine whether or not you're worthy of calling a band or artist "your favorite" or "one of your favorites". A possible enunciation of it goes as follows:

"Let u ≝ some asshole, B ≝ {b|b is a band}, n ≝ #({x|x is a record by b}); let p = #({y|y is a record by b in u's possession}) = p1 + p2 wherein p1 ≝ number of physical records by b you own in any format and p2 ≝ number of records by b you have downloaded. If p ≥ n ∨ p2 = n (for n → +∞), then ∃b∈B such that b is one of u's favorite bands."

When u = me, this subset of B (which we might call Bf) is comprised of six bands, off the top of my head: Autechre, Godflesh, Shellac, Kraftwerk, Fugazi and Coil, listed in no particular order.

If you want to read the prologue to this series, go here. Otherwise, let's get going.

Okay, okay, I know, it was the funniest bit ever to call this article like a song by the band I discussed in the previous episode and with a song title I'd teased in the post right before this one, please stop clapping, autographs on the left.

As some of you might remember, a piece about Godflesh already exists on this blog and, if you're so inclined, you can read it here. The reason why I'm writing another one is because

a) that post doesn't entirely fit the criteria of this series, being mostly focused on autobiography and other such bullshit, and

b) somewhat randomly, last month I spent a really long time wondering if I should setup my guitar for C# standard tuning the next time I re-string it. The most obvious reason to do so is, of course, covering Godflesh on my free time, and I don't even really care about the added ease of playing and bending - I'm actually considering using .012 or even .013 gauge strings to maintain the same feel that .011 gauge has with E standard; I really just want the extra range.

My band is in a bit of a rut as we speak, writing songs is a bit hard for me at this given time and nothing new has emerged yet since last summer; we have a couple new ones that we've already played live, but our last gig kind of sucked if I have to be totally honest with you. I guess what I'm aiming for here is something that might shake up my playing again, get me to think a bit and explore new possibilities.

One of the key elements of Godflesh that have always captivated my imagination is their conscious, and tragically ill-fated, effort to not be perceived as a metal band. It's an effort I at the very least understand, not to say share. Most bands in the rock ballpark do this thing where they try to, somehow, relate to rock music more than they do the idea behind it. Let me rephrase that: the people who play an instrument who grew up on rock music almost always, without fail, talk about how rock music had them wanting to right the wrongs, do something new and powerful and liberating, but in practice that drive turns into constant blues jamming in E minor or A minor. Or, if you're a punk band, a liberal amount of power chord riffs bordering on pop-punk songwriting (assuming you haven't taken that exact road already). Metal is possibly the most open about its clichéd nature, to a point where it's kind of part of its perception in the general public: calling it "just noise" not only implies it not to be music, it implies it never goes anywhere else from there. And to be fair many bands kind of play on that idea: if it ain't broke, don't fix it. This is particularly evident in the case of the more rock'n'roll-adjacent types of metal, or in the more mainstream ones: a record like 72 Seasons by Metallica being hailed by the few who actually did say good things about it because "it's a return to their roots", or black metal bands trying to convince their listeners that this time they might be doing something different. And just to be clear, I'm not saying these don't happen in other genres as well (I still cannot for the life of me figure out why everything Aphex Twin put out from Syro onwards was seen as some kind of second coming of Christ even though 1) RDJ had been putting out a ton of music under his other aliases up until that point and 2) they're not bad records, but it all feels sort of like a retread of early AFX stuff).

Eloquently enough, in 1989, Godflesh put out a t-shirt with a pretty unequivocal sentence on its back: DEATH TO FALSE METAL. While the sentence was very happily appropriated by those who, as it turns out, eat and breathe and live and - most likely - even shit out false metal, in the year 1989 the statement could not resonate any clearer: no frills, no bullshit, no dicking around. Godflesh's presentation gave an excellent expression of what quote-unquote "true" metal could be. It's two people on stage, with a small stack of amps behind them and an Alesis HR-16 drum machine as the only other elements of stage decor. At three points of their career the band had a third member: an extra guitarist on a couple tracks on Pure, a drummer on the records Songs of Love and Hate and Hymns. But that was it. Justin Broadrick's retrospective grievances concerning the band's name applied to the records with a human drummer notwithstanding, it was unmistakable that Godflesh's music had the heart of presenting itself alone, naked and very much afraid. More than that: it was, for all intents and purposes, the band's only defense.

Formally analyzing the music of Godflesh lends little interesting results, even though JKB's unconventional approach to guitar writing and GC Green's thunderous basslines offer surprises and subtleties aplenty for those who are willing to listen. The point is actually how much of a racket these two manage to conjure as much as the way it's never simply - as we said above - just noise, if you can give them the time to prove it to you. And I'm not even talking about their surprisingly keen if minimal melodic sense, or they way they construct memorable riffs from very restrictive elements (even on their least focused efforts, like for instance Songs of Love and Hate, there's always at least one brainworm level riff that you can't get out - for me it's Wake and Anthem, and for the latter - off of Hymns - the fault might very well lie with the spectacular Jesus Christ Superstar mashup floating around on the internet), but both pale in comparison to the band's consistent honesty. Like David Lynch characters, Godflesh never lie. They never try anything funny in the conventional sense of the word, and yet they remain open to flirtation with anything that might catch their interest. Which is also where the plethora of side projects JKB took part in over the years factors in: I will admit I've only ever explored Techno Animal/Zonal, but I guess I have all the time in the world to get that in order.

Another thing that comes to my mind when listening to/thinking of Godflesh is Deus Ex, and specifically the original from 2000, in that everytime somebody mentions either the former or the latter I just have to play it again. It's quite hard to quantify just what exactly the special quality to these two things is - if I had to take a guess, it's simply the profound interest they radiate. It kind of always feels like it's in your hands, in full control, and yet something still escapes you, something could be approached differently. And it's surprisingly fragile and emotional. JKB and Ben Green's friendship is, I think, the best indicator of what Godflesh at its core is - an element of familiarity for someone who's unfamiliar to the rest of the world, who feels out of place and out of step.

And this last reference is nowhere near unintentional: just like Ian MacKaye felt "out of step with the world", or for that matter just like Henry Rollins had a whole slew of songs about profound feelings of discontent and solipsism both in and out of Black Flag, Justin Broadrick and Ben Green built their musical and social identities in a place of being unrecognized, invalidated, seen as weird and bad - it's no surprise that Godflesh saw themselves more aligned with Killing Joke than, say, Black Sabbath (despite coming from the same city).

Of course, an excess of sincerity - a policy of truth, even? - can very easily lead you astray, make you lose yourself in a way. But I still enjoyed that sense of laser-focused disorientation that Songs of Love and Hate, Us and Them and (to an extent) Hymns have to offer, and I still do give them the occasional spin. The same goes for the supposed (here we go again…) "return to form" with the last three records: but then again, when did Godflesh ever do anything like Post Self? I mean, ok, if you want you can trace it back to Selfless (the connection is pretty obvious if you can read, which at this point is a pretty safe assumption), and then again Streetcleaner's album cover back in '89 literally represented a world lit only by fire, and Purge is just Pure with an extra G. But all of the records sort of succeed in giving us a very interesting look at a mature Godflesh, a Godflesh that went through the trappings of their entire professional and personal lives and then once again come back and rearrange their influences. And how often does that happen? How often does a band offer a "critical retrospective" that is, for once, actually critical and not just a rehash or a best-of?

For reference, I don't even like A World Lit Only by Fire that much, and I do recognize the irony in JKB admitting he literally just wanted to recapture the early records' magic after all I've said. I just kind of see it as getting your bearings again. And if I were them, I'd understand: you get back to the scene ten years after the band crashed and burned in the middle of their biggest tour yet, you essentially haven't spoken since 2002 and then you pull up to the Roadburn Festival and play your biggest record. A test drive would be in order: can we still do this?, can we get it up and running again? And if that riff at the beginning of New Dark Ages is any indicator, hell yeah they could.

A World Lit Only by Fire is an excellent representation of why "artists must be allowed to go through bad periods, they must be allowed to do bad work, they must be allowed to get in a mess, they must be allowed to have dud experiments. They must be allowed to have periods where they repeat themselves in a rather aimless, fruitless way before they can pick up and go on" (David Sylvester). And Godflesh never were the kind to give way to the pressure - give them three years and they can still, at the very least, turn some heads. A track like the alternate version of Parasite they included in the New Flesh in Dub album and in the Japanese version of Post Self tells the whole story: its understanding of its own internal rhythm is as fragmented as ever in the work of Godflesh, sounding closer to a re-edit of Techno Animal's more rhythmically oriented moments, and the mangled guitar and bass parts reveal the truly skilled engineering of the violence going on in the studio - and the way that the band choose to sacrifice it in order to sound real. Because if the original Parasite has anything, that is believability and presence: it's uncomfortably close and tangible, with horrifying lyrics that would, at the very least, seem to be about historical recurrence and political discomfort with demagogy. Neither of which are particularly frequent topics in Godflesh's lyric book and are at high risk of turning cringier and more memeable by the second (see for instance Eminem's now-infamous anti-Trump freestyle), but here happen to come in very economically packaged doses that feel much more poignant specifically because they refuse to go too far into specifics. Like, for Christ's sake, what the fuck is a slateman?

So yeah, in short, you bet your ass my fanboy ass was in a record shop on June 9, 2023, and Purge was exactly what I expected it to be: a good record by a good band that still manages to prove capable to sound like they give a shit about what they're doing, unlike their former friends Metallica, and to be in touch with a form of emotionality that seems to exist firmly outside of the reach of anyone else involved in the genre - or outside of it. This is, by definition, the truest metal possible; the one that tugs at the heartstrings with the grace and poise of a mule with its balls tied to a fencepost.

[criminalminds4days]

Family Matters | Chapter 3: Trivia

Hello People!

I hope you have had an amazing week and are going to have an ever better weekend. I am so done with this week. It was really crappy and I just can't wait for the beginning of next, hoping it will be better. The only positive side is that I was able to get over my writer's block and have finished about 3 new chapters.

Anyway, enjoy this chapter of Family Matters and let me know what you think!

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, violence and murder references, public embarrassment, and very bad jokes!

Word Count: 3.6k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tag list: @mcntsee @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @evelyncade @haylaansmi @paulaern @myfandomlife-blog

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(This gif is not mine)

Chapter 3: Trivia

She closed the blinds and made sure for the fifth time the door was locked. Her breath caught in her throat and the fear and adrenaline that had rushed through her body made even Spencer Reid nervous.

"What's going on?"

"This is bad, I didn't realize the consequences of this until it was too late. I am so sorry I got you all tangled up in this mess."

"What are you talking about? What happened?"

"I-" She turned and took a peek through the blinds, ensuring there was no one around. "I did not think things through. I think it's best if you go home, that way you might be spared."

"You are seriously starting to make me nervous, please tell me what's going on, how can I help?"

"There is nothing you can do; I am basically a dead woman."

"Why? Who's after you?"

"Anna Hemingway."

"Your cousin is after you? Did she threaten you or something?"

"No, she didn't have to." She walked towards the bed and sat on the edge, still glancing every now and then, making sure the coast was clear.

After her and Spencer's victory, they had both decided to go to bed, and while the rest of her family insisted on having another dinner dedicated to the couple, they had both decided best to eat and head back to their cabin. He had finished first and decided to head back, and as soon as he was gone, the memory hit her making her mistake obvious. And the main reason she had resorted to a passive competition with the world's worst cousin was clear once again. In a hurry she had returned to their cabin, ensuring she was not being followed, and locked the door, startling the doctor.

"The last time I beat Anna at something was when I twelve. We were both auditioning for the same role in our school musical. They gave me the part." He smiled, truly excited for her accomplishment, as well as happy to learn this new fact about her. "Don't get too peppy. On opening night, at Grandma's celebration for the play, I fell down the stairs."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Because, Dr. Spencer Reid, as hard as it is to believe, me falling down the stairs was not due to my immense clumsiness."

"Wait, your cousin pushed you down the stairs?!" He exclaimed, truly horrified. How are children so cute and so evil at the same time?

"More like, she set her foot for me to trip on, but you get the idea." She glanced back at the door and then at the man in front of her. "I was lucky, I didn't break anything, but I have a feeling that might not be the case the next time. I also would prefer not to drown or anything like that."

"But we're federal agents, doing something to you or me would be unwise."

"You're speaking of the girl that tripped me down the stairs and thought that stealing my boyfriend and marrying him was wise."

"I'm gonna double-check the door is locked."

After hours of attempting to stay vigilant, her body had given in and she had fallen asleep. Although Spencer knew the danger, to him it was as simple as closing his eyes. She knew they were trained to deal with a lot of sick people, but he didn't understand the limits his cousin would go to destroy those who she felt wronged by. Although her main target had always been her, she once had basically ended a girl's life by getting her banned from pretty much any respectable college or job position because this one had made fun of her prom dress. Anna Hemingway was one to be cautious with, and they had both just embarrassed her in front of the people whose attention she had snatched years ago. It was worse than she realized.

"Spencer, Spencer." She spoke as she slightly moved him. He growled and moved away from her, attempting to continue his slumber. "Spencer."

"No, let me sleep." He complained.

"Spence, get up, please." After minutes of silence, she devised a new plan. "Spencer!" she screamed, making him jump, falling off the bed and landing between the edge of this first one and the door of the closet. "Oh good, you're awake."

He didn't say a word, for what seemed like centuries, and she wondered if screaming him awake was not the best decision, especially as her next request would not be something he would be inclined to.

"Sorry for that, I just needed you to wake up."

"Is there a fire I don't know about?"

"No, I just thought we could go for a run." There it was, the look Spencer had only given the unsubs he despised the most. She had earned it, but that didn't mean she liked it. "Sorry, I just, Nicole had to leave, and since I have a target on my back and there's safety in numbers... I also didn't want to leave you here alone, and vulnerable. I just felt like, despite your muscles, I am concerned you haven't yet mastered the use of your body."

"I will have you know that by all accounts I definitely know how to use my body. Quite effectively if I do say so myself, and others."

After his words, her mind went to a thought she never imagined having. She wondered if he meant it that way or she was just losing it. "Good, then you can come with me." That sentence following her thoughts was probably not ideal.

"No thank you, you can do it by yourself." She needed to change the direction her thoughts were going; they were definitely not helpful.

"Spencer, please. I am honestly a little terrified, and you should be too."

"Well, I'm not. She isn't worse than any unidentified subject we've dealt with before."

"Oh but she is. She's the worst type of unsub you could think of, but ten times worse."

"What's the worse she could do?"

"Let's not find out."

After whining from him and pleads by her, they both made their way out of the cabin. The shorts he had avoided yesterday were now covering almost nothing as they jogged. This was not a good reminder of their earlier conversation, so she simply focused on something easier: her cousin's imminent revenge. She thought it would come in the form of her accidentally pushing her into the lake, or a repeat of her falling down the stairs. She was even worried this time Spencer would be the victim since he had been the one to embarrass her. Her thoughts were interrupted by deep breaths and a yelp.

"Are you okay?"

"We've been running for hours, how dare you ask me such a question?"

She looked at her watch, "We've been running for exactly three and a half minutes. Actually, we haven't been running, more like jogging."

"How long do you usually do this for?"

"Depends on the day, but from thirty minutes to two hours."

"You need help."

"It won't be as bad, come on."

"You can go on, I am just gonna sit here and have a heart attack real quick."

"How on earth did you pass your physical?"

"I got it waved."

"Cheater."

"If it isn't it the 'it' couple of the weekend!" Suddenly the one having a heart attack was not Spencer, but her. "I didn't know you guys ran together, that's so cute!"

"Yeah, truly the reason I love her," Spencer said, a pinch of sarcasm in his voice.

"How adorable." It's coming, she could feel it. "Anyway, I was thinking, since love seems to be in the air this weekend, why don't we celebrate it by wrapping up the family retreat with a trivia night!"

"What does trivia have to do with love?" She regretted the words as soon as they came out, as Anna looked at her like she might as well be six feet under.

"Silly, the trivia would be about your significant other, of course!"

"Well, that's just-"

"Wonderful, I know!" The blonde smiled, delighted by her idea. "The family has already been briefed and they are all on board, I have started taking in questions and designed the cards, so we'll all meet around the campfire for dinner, and then we'll have trivia night!" She smiled brightly and began to leave, stopping by to appreciate Spencer's figure and palming his behind as she left.

"Did she just-?"

"Yes, yes she did."

"I need a shower."

After both had showered and changed they made their way to grandmas house, alert as to anyone following them. Most of her family had moved on from spying on them, but she knew Anna and Uncle Ernie were not that normal.

"So, what did your grandma do?"

"No one really knows, I mean it had to be good to make her so rich, but by the time my uncle Ernie was born, the eldest, she was already rich enough to sell whatever business she had and become a full-time parent."

"What about your grandpa?"

"He died before I was born."

"Oh."

They sat at the same table he had been at the day before; the chessboard was still in place. She began messing with the pieces, creating the game that always made her win, courtesy of her grandma.

"I didn't know you played."

"I too began at a very young age. I haven't really played since grandma died; she was my game partner. The only one that treated me like I was a human being." She sat down, remembering the hours she spent here when Nicole wasn't around, and everyone pretty much ignored her. "She was the only one that ever consoled me for losing my dad. Losing her was just one more box to check."

"I am sorry for your loss." He placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently, hoping to convey his sympathy.

"Yeah well, by how calm Anna looks right now I guess it won't be long before I join her, so we don't have to worry about that anymore."

He rolled his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips. "So, what should we expect during this trivia night?"

"To lose, that's our safest bet."

"I don't really do losing."

"And all I do is lose, so I will be your guide this time."

The family had made their way inside, their excitement overflowing the room. She couldn't help but wish she could simply run for the hills. She knew the chances of them winning were null, because a) she needed to lose and b) Spencer and her hadn't known each other, really known each other long enough to be able to answer these questions. She wondered if that was the plan all along, that Anna somehow had found out about their lie and was using this as a means to expose it.

"Okay everybody, let's get started." Said, uncle Ernie. He wore the same clothes as their first day here. "Let us start with the competition. Since we have the newlyweds as well as the new couple in the family, I think they should make the honors."

She looked at Spencer and he smiled at her, she leaned closed and whispered. "Remember, to ease the monster, we need to lose, which shouldn't be hard, we're not even a real couple, there is no way we know enough about each other, right?"

He nodded and they both moved to the sofa that was designated as their spot, her uncle who now apparently served as the show host, handed Spencer and Tyler a buzzer, explaining whichever sounded first would get to answer the question. She mentally prepared herself, hoping she could answer enough questions to not raise suspicion but not enough to win the game, what a grand world that would be.

"Ready everybody?" everyone cheered in approval and she prepared herself. "This round is for the guys, once we finish you will pass the buzzer to your partner and at the end, we will have one round where either of you can answer. Now, the first question, what is your partner's Starbucks order?"

Spencer's buzzer went off as Tyler attempted to recall the memory. "It depends on the season. During winter and for as long as she can get it, it will be a Grande Peppermint Hot Chocolate, during the summer it will be no-coffee Double chocolate chip cookie crumble Grande Frappuccino with extra whipped cream, and no straw." She looked at him completely taken aback by his answer, how specific it was, and the fact that he knew she was a seasonal drinks person.

"Yeah, that's it." She spoke.

"Point for team FBI!" Her uncle cheered. "Next question, what is your partner's favorite color?"

His buzzer went off and the doctor spoke again, "Blue."

Ten questions later the scoreboard was 8-2, Spencer's lead, and the two questions he hadn't answered were because he decided that would be enough to lose. She didn't understand how he knew these things, or the fact that she knew what her answer for him would be, but what she did know, was that she had to be really bad in order to allow Anna to take the lead back, what she wasn't sure about anymore, was whether she wanted to let her cousin win.

"Ladies, you're up." Spencer handed her the buzzer and she smiled at him. "First question, how does your partner drink his coffee."

"That's easy. He doesn't drink coffee." She said soon after her buzzer went off. "He drinks sugar with a side of coffee, no creamer. Eighty percent sugar, twenty percent coffee."

"That is so mean to say! But it's true." Spencer agreed.

"How are you a doctor and drink so much sugar?"

"Not that kind of doctor." He clarified to the man.

"I have no idea what that means! Next question, what is the thing your partner is most proud of?"

"His job. Spencer loves helping people and using his knowledge to reunite families, he's the bravest guy I know." She smiled at him and he returned the gesture.

It was no surprise Anna was not content with the results, as the end was a 23-4 in favor of Spencer and her. As soon as the game was finished she knew that she had basically carved her own grave.

"That is not fair, they are not even really dating!" Her cousin screamed, "it's all a lie!"

"What?"

"Yeah, I know your little secret, I overheard you and Nicole talking about how Spencer was not really your boyfriend and how he didn't actually have dyslexia!"

"I-" She didn't know what to say, how had she not seen her? How could she let this happen?

"First of all, I think it is very inconsiderate of you to suggest that my dyslexia is not real. I have fought so hard for such a long time to ensure my condition didn't prevent me from succeeding, going as far as getting a Ph.D. in mathematics, for someone to simply come and question my hard work." Spencer said, seemingly very upset. "Second of all, this woman right here is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I will not sit here and tolerate you calling her a liar. We are in love with each other, and you as her cousin should be happy about it. Yet you seem so upset about her finding someone, it seems to me you're jealous, but what do I know, it's not like I can understand human behavior or anything. Oh, wait." He said, he took her hand and pulled her as close to him as she could. "Just leave my girlfriend alone, you took her sloppy second and married him, so what more can you want from her?"

The room fell silent, everyone eyed Spencer and Anna, trying to grasp what had just happened. "You and I both know you're lying, you two are not a real couple, you are just trying to ruin this weekend for me."

"Really, not a real couple? Then how did we end up destroying you at trivia? You made the questions Anna, I had no idea what was on them, you did. And I am not the one wearing a wedding ring. So my question is, how do you marry someone without knowing their proudest moment, or their Starbucks order?"

"Well, how come no one has ever seen you two kiss? You can learn facts about each other but that doesn't really make you a couple."

"You want to see a kiss? Fine." She turned and pulled Spencer's lips to hers. She let herself enjoy the moment, really enjoy Spencer's kissing skills, not because she wanted to or anything, but rather because that is how she should kiss him, there was no way anyone would have any doubt about them if the kiss looked authentic. Which it did, it also might have felt a little more authentic than it should but now was no the time to dwell on that.

Spencer kissed her back, creating an atmosphere in which her cousin's word didn't matter any longer, in which the humiliation her family had put her through was nothing worth thinking of, and the fact that both of them had such deep knowledge about each other only fueled it, melting her a little in her spot, she felt his teeth on her lower lip applying slight pressure and she couldn't help but wish they were by themselves right then and there.

"We get it! You guys want to take your clothes off, now please stop." Tyler's voice echoed, and the two doctors left each other's lips reluctantly, looking at him. "Now, can we please move on?"

"No! Not until they admit they are not really dating, and all this was a plot to humiliate me!" Anna screamed.

"You know what? I am not going to stand here and tolerate this behavior any longer. Bitchy Anna, you can whine all you want, but that will not change that I am with a man I love, and that loves me. I have let this family make me feel like less for long enough and I am done doing so. You can all go fuck yourselves because I am done with each and every single one of you. You allowed this crazy brat to humiliate me and treat me like I was less for long enough. Let's go home, Spencer." She grabbed him by the hand and exited the house, giving her family the middle finger before she banged the door. She walked to their cabin and gathered her stuff, him following suit. As soon as they were in the car and far enough away, she pulled over and sighed, coming down from her adrenaline rush.

"In the wise words of Penelope Garcia, that was hot," Spencer said.

"What was?"

"Everything." They laughed for a couple of minutes, the scene she had just created replaying in her mind. "I am so proud of you."

"Why? Because I gave my uncle Ernie the middle finger?"

"Because you stood up for yourself."

"Yeah, well even if she was right, I tend to get a little too angry when people call me a liar or get in my way."

"Yeah, I know." He chuckled, "How did it go, oh yes, 'Nu-uh bruh, I know you didn't just interrupt me mid-sentence.' And then you commented how a man who wore sweaters in the middle of July was not going to cut you off."

"I am so sorry about that; I was just so used to being cut off I didn't want it to be a thing at work."

"It's okay, I understand. I began cutting people off because that's what most people did to me when I spoke."

"Well, that's dumb. I love hearing your facts, you have all this knowledge, and you chose to share it, people should be grateful for it."

"Thank you, I appreciate that." He smiled, "Speaking of facts, our chances of getting murdered will increase by the minute if we continue to sit on the side of the road."

"Right, forgot about that!" She turned the car back on. "Let's go home, Spencer." As his apartment complex became clear, she slowed down, making a stop right in front of it. "Thank you for coming with me this weekend, I really appreciate it."

"No problem, that's what friends are for." Before he moved to get out of the car, she planted a quick kiss on his cheek. "What was that for?"

"For being the best fake boyfriend and real friend a girl could ask for." She smiled at him, so grateful for his existence. "I will see you tomorrow morning at 5:45 am sharp. Goodnight Spencer."

"Goodnight. See you tomorrow." He opened the door and walked out, waving to her before he entered his building. She sat there for a couple of minutes, taking in the past weekend. She knew her mother wouldn't let her get away with her actions, but right now that didn't matter, Spencer Reid had told her he was proud of her, he had even used the term hot which in itself was hot because she never even imagined he used that type of vocabulary.

Regardless, she stood up for herself, she let Anna have it, and Spencer was proud of her. It seemed like a win-win. She drove home, a smile on her face.

[shores-of-esgalduin]

It's all to do with how they learned music.

(expansion on Sindar vs Noldor approach to music and how that shaped Daeron's and Maglor's music under the cut)

Canon heavily implies that all elves have a natural musicality to them - for the sake of efficiency, I'm gonna baseline this and say that they're born knowing to pick up a beat and stick in a key, likely also how to echo a melody if they've heard it a bunch of times. Anything past this is due to either learned knowledge or some sort of musical inclination (basically just learning knowledge but faster).

Discussing the Sindar and Avari first (since this is a pro-Sindar and Avari blog) I've seen some discussion about the lack of written Sindarin language and how it was likely that the Avari and Sindar that remained in Middle-Earth followed primarily oral means of communication (for brevity I'm going to be primarily discussing Sindarin musical tradition, I've got thoughts on Avari and Silvan musical tradition that are still too jumbled to communicate atm). Pulling this out to music, stories and history and knowledge in general was probably passed down generationally via song. This means that the Sindar are, as a whole, naturally more musically adept than their Valinorian counterparts, just due to sheer exposure to music (something that canon seems to support; see the last two sentences of chapter 13 in Silm) . If your language and culture are being passed down through song, you're probably going to have a more comprehensive grasp of music and music theory in general, or at least the music theory that evolved from the natural song patterns that were created.

Therefore, it makes sense that music education for the Sindar wouldn't formalized, because it's just a cultural practice. Singing and music making are as common as every day speech; there's no reason to distinguish the learning of song from the learning of words. This also makes looking at Sindar music theory really interesting, because without much being written it's likely just Vibe Based musical development. Some elf comes up with a new way of harmonizing or something, other elves like it, and it naturally spreads through the rest of the community through repetition and adaptation. (Going to write a post about Sindar vs Noldor music theory some day)

In terms of instrumentation, instruments are likely inspired by natural phenomenon; for me, the Chinese Xun is the first to come to mind. (Quick Xun 101, it originated from hollow rocks used for hunting where people liked the sound of the wind whistling through the holes in the rocks) If an elf played an instrument, it was likely that they'd either crafted it by themself or was taught how to by another member of the community. The creation of musical instruments then becomes an extension for personal expression; it's less about how "perfect" the instrument is and more about how it fits ones personality and style of playing. (Similarly, I think that the gifting of musical instruments to others would hold a cultural significance, as almost a token of love, both platonic or romantic.)

As a Sindar musician, it would follow that Daeron had this Vibe Based approach to music and composition. I can very easily picture him as basing his musical style off the natural world and being highly experimental in what sounds he incorporates in; he's the type of musician to try first ask questions later, and I see him being very open in sharing his musical process as well. When he comes up with a harmonic progression or fresh sound or the like, he'll immediately start incorporating it into his performances, continually changing and evolving his music as he comes up with new ideas. There's not much process of personal refinement where he sits and tinkers with it in private; once he decides he likes it and it shows potential, he's immediately bringing it to the wider audience. This is why if you ask Daeron to sing a song and then 10 years later ask him to sing it again, the song won't exactly be the same. It'll have the same base ideas but it will have shifted and evolved past when you heard it last (I also have thoughts about the social and cultural role of musicians in Sindar vs Noldor culture but that will needs to be a new post). He's continually reinterpreting and updating and adapting his own songs. (This could also be why elvish songs are so long; as new styles come along, it would be wise to append onto the existing song rather than fully rewriting it to turn the song itself into a musical tapestry of previous eras and ways of life. There's a reason that Daeron the Minstrel, a musician, is the chief loremaster in Doriath.)

Now for the Valinorian elves, specifically the Noldor (again for brevity I'm going to be focusing on the Noldor as my thoughts on the Vanyarian and Telerian musical traditions aren't baselined yet). The Noldor are emphasized in text as very "craft" based people, probably in part because of the presence of the Valar (who absolutely influenced the way music was written/sounded btw), and I can only assume extends to the way they approach music as well. Whereas music is just another aspect of language to the Sindar, the Noldor have split and componentized it. Music and writing and poetry are all distinct crafts within Noldor culture, which places a sort of line between the role of "musician" and the role of "singer." Those who take up the craft of "singer" tend to double as be musicians and vice versa, but this isn't strictly necessary (for example I personally headcanon Fingon as more "singer" than "musican," see the following point) However, the overlap between singer and historian still very much exists, as the "music as culture" approach is just baked into elves in general. I think the difference is that the Noldor see musicians as being able to operate distinct from the historian realm with singers being a combination between musician and historian, whereas for the Sindar singers and musicians and historians sort of get rolled into one (because of the lack of distinction between music and storytelling).

This also means that for the Noldor music education is much more of a formalized practice, just due to the way music is perceived as more of a craft. I can see formalized music theory being studied like a science, with written sheet music developing a lot earlier for the Noldor than the Sindar. However, the way that they use written understanding of music theory differs from the Sindar (but again, music theory needs to be it's own post).

Instruments and instrument creation bridges the gap between physical craft and musical craft. Artisans that purely craft instruments are more common in Noldor circles than Sindar one; I can imagine crafting the "perfect instrument" to be a point of pride. Some Noldor musicians do still craft their own instruments (Maglor absolutely does have you met him), but it gets seen more of as an extra step for those that are dedicated rather than a natural part of the musical process. (The cultural significance of instrument exchange for the Noldor is linked to the sharing of ones craftsmanship and as a rite of passage for young musicians/singers.)

Returning to Maglor, however: between his family and cultural Noldor upbringing, I absolutely see him as someone who is incredibly interested in musical discussion and furthering the craft, but who tends towards experiments with musical novelties in the conceptual realm first. He prefers changing and dissecting new ideas in private to understand them fully before incorporating them into his music. He also strikes me as somewhat of a perfectionist and, though I have no doubt he was a prolific composer, I get the sense that a lot of what he performs is things he first came up with years and years ago and is just now ready to share, rather than introducing an idea he woke up having. To Maglor, music should be crafted and polished until it shines before it is revealed. Similarly, though evolution and adaptation is still an important aspect, due to the prevalence of written music I can absolutely see Maglor approaching song writing as creating historical markers of the time, to be left unchanged in the future as to preserve the memory of the past (something something the Noldor and the rings of power). He still makes improvements but once he's publicly revealed a song it doesn't tend to go through too many more alterations. If you ask Maglor to sing the Nodolantë at the end of the First Age then manage to find him on some beach in the Fourth Age and ask him to sing it again, it will sound very much the same (he will probably also still cry at the same sections).

I think where it gets interesting is when you start comparing them, as Daeron and Maglor have completely opposite approaches to composition (due to the role of music in their respective cultures) and compose from vastly different places. Personally speaking, I think Maglor's style has the same beauty as Valinor itself; his songs are legendary and beautiful and awe-inspiring yet somehow distant and untouchable. Daeron's Vibe Based compositional style, on the other hand, naturally lends itself well to capturing and communicating emotions, such that his songs feel more poignant regardless of perceived technical flaw (at least in the eyes of the Noldor ).

And I think that's why Daeron edges out over Maglor in the end; not because he necessarily has a better grasp of the musical craft but of his ability to create music and song that meets the audience where they are, and connects with them.

i have a very specific headcanon for how maglor vs daeron approach music composition and i Can't Stop thinking about it

[webstoreecommercebuilding-blog]

How To Conduct Ingenious Content Research

Most often, the content material substance we produce at Distilled is produced to entice push reporting, social shares, and publicity (and yet again hyperlinks) on internet sites our clients’ look closely at viewers reads. That is a tall get.

Previously discussed the several a few years we have acquired experienced our hits and misses, and thru this we have recognized the worth of studying about what has a tendency to make a bit of article or blog posts rewarding. Establishing by making use of a superb notion is tough, and it will be challenging to determine the area to have commenced on. Presently, moderately than leaping headlong into brainstorming classes, we get started with influenced components investigation.

Afflicted articles or blog posts or website posts investigation permits you to undoubtedly solution the factors:

“What are web internet sites publishing, and exactly what are people sharing?”

From this, you are going to utilize a then really clearer see what could efficiently be successful within your customer.

Several a protracted time within the previous this required pretty a quantity of performing to determine. As of late, the good news is, it truly is a whole lot significantly far more speedily and significantly considerably less tough. In this distinctive established up, I’ll share the treatment method and products we use.

I do take into account which the obtain inside this kind of physical exertion lies inside of a handful of instructions:

a) You'll be able to comprehend a superb offer by deconstructing the accomplishment of others...

I've been getting things aside to examine to determine the way it features for roughly presented that I'm able to don't forget, so utilizing this technique to supplies research felt fairly all-natural to me. Potentially far more importantly regardless of the simple fact that, I feel that deconstructing articles materials resources is simpler when it is just not your own. You are not worried, invested, or in truly come to feel enthusiasm for that piece so viewing it impartially and examining out from it is noticeably considerably less tough.

b) Your overview will offer you an obvious affect from your spirited scenery...

The instant a business elects to have begun on generating articles or blog posts, they receive an entire raft of modern rivals. With each and every other with their specialist opponents (i.e. people who present you with equivalent firms or items), the corporate also gains articles or blog posts or site posts opponents. Getting an illustration, if you could be an athletics betting agency and plan to create content material supplies related in the direction of the sports activities steps actions that you're providing betting marketplaces on; then you're competing not merely with other betting companies, but each and every one other publisher who generates material about these events. Which suggests significant information retailers, sports activities steps data site, admirer internet websites, and so on. To create issues nonetheless much more complex, it is very likely that you may the fact is in search of reporting from people very same articles or blog posts or site posts opponents. For that explanation, you need to comprehend what is previously becoming produced while in the area ahead of producing posts of one's personal.

c) You happen to be offering by yourself the info to produce a much more persuasive actively playing field...

At some time you are gonna have to pitch your ideas on the shopper (or your supervisor if you're enterprise perform in-house). At Distilled, we now have positioned that getting principles signed off could be hard. Within the potential, a wonderful notion is worthless if we cannot persuade our shopper to offer us the inexperienced delicate. This assessment may be utilized to make a much more potent scenario towards the customer and obtain these suggestions signed off. (From the way, if receiving concepts signed off is proving to be a problem you might discover this framework for pitching authentic concepts valuable).

 Fantastic principles start with a fantastic transient, although it might be difficult to pin clientele right down to get options correct right into an extended checklist of queries.

Similar to a nominal you're going to need to know the next:

Now you have your brief; it is time for you to begin your research.

Equipped that we’re searching for to uncover “what websites are publishing and what precisely is acquiring shared,” It is not going to shock you to undoubtedly discover which I spend specific interest to items of content material and also the solution they are supplied. For every piece which I genuinely come to feel is intriguing I’ll acknowledge down the subsequent:

Regardless of the truth that I’m finishing up this I’ll also produce a bear in mind of particular websites I see turning into typically shared (I normally have a tendency to look at these out independently later on), any fascinating bits of study (especially if I feel there may be a chance to do some aspect a variety of jointly using the details), interesting threads on information boards and several other people.

Concerning kicking off your examine, you can commence specifically exactly where within the earth you desire, but I’d advocate that you just wrap off every single one in regards to the spots beneath:

 Though this physical exertion may well not expose special parts of rewarding posts, it is wonderful signifies of acquiring a clearer comprehension of your look closely at viewers, and acquiring a just take treatment method of all over the websites they go through too since the matter areas which curiosity them.

If you have a summary of websites you recognize your give focus to viewers endure, and/or you recognize your customer needs to amass reporting on, you are going to locate a lot of techniques you'll be able to uncover intriguing content material supplies:

Every Buzzsumo and ahrefs are paid out outsources, but every offer totally entirely free of charge trials. Just in case you need to find out virtually undoubtedly one of many most shared content components without generating utilization of a compensated out instrument, you will find other options. Verify out Social Crawlytics that will crawl domains and return social share information, or else, you can crawl a website (or segment in the site) following which run the URLs through SharedCount‘s bulk add perform.

When seeking for by subject, I locate it best to start with a wide seek out and following that drill down into a great deal far more specific locations. Being an occasion, if I'd a customer inside the fiscal corporation's location, I’d begin searching while in the extensive make a difference like “money” moderately than capturing straight to troubles like fiscal, economic, financial loans or demand from customers actively playing cards.

As determined earlier mentioned, every single solitary Buzzsumo and ahrefs permit you to undoubtedly research for on the most shared material substance compound by matter and the two present you with modern lookup chances.

 Additionally, you will discover quite many websites I need to have a look at for inspiration. Regardless of the simple fact that these world wide web internet sites never supply you a fantastic steer on whether a certain bit of material content material was truly fulfilling, employing a modest digging you'll be able to speedily discover the reliable offer and pull hyperlink and social share data:

By this phase you have (preferably) acquired a prolonged checklist of posts illustrations. While that's an excellent start off, efficiently what you've got obtained acquired beneath is in fact details, now you should modify this to the idea.

Never overlook, we’re striving to reply the inquiries: “What are websites publishing, and what specifically are men and women sharing?”

Ordinarily, as I am likely all over the exclusive content investigation approach, I commence seeing sorts or themes crop up. Using working example, all through an assortment of topic areas you will see which the most shared posts involve an inclination to be information. Regardless of the simple fact that that's fantastic to grasp, it truly is not quickly one situation that may be gonna be especially actionable. You will dig only a minor deeper-what else (aside from info) is provided safety? Are you able to split up these issues into groups or themes?

That is certainly demanding to make clear though in summary, so enable me to exist you with an illustration. We’d uncovered a report of audio websites (e.g. Rolling Stone, NME, CoS, Stereogum, Pitchfork) as concentrate on publishers for almost any consumer.

Here’s a summary of what I concluded adhering to my investigation:

The most-shared articles or blog posts or site posts on these audio publications is knowledge: album launches, new singles, on the web online video clips of performances and the like. For that reason, if we will have out an information hook into irrespective of what we construct, this could positively affect our selections of acquiring basic safety.

Apart from data, the articles or blog posts or website posts which gain traction incorporates an inclination to tumble into absolutely surely a single of another class:

In advance of in this publish I described that it could be specifically hard to produce material materials material which attracts in protection and shares if clientele genuinely actually really feel strongly they need to do one thing straight appropriate for his or her services or products. The occasion I gave together with the outset was a shopper who obtained insurance policies guidelines and was keen to make everything about insurance policy protection. You are now inside of a wonderful spot to get an argument with data, as many thanks to the examine you may give the assortment to quotation a good deal of regions of insurance-related articles or blog posts or site posts which have struggled to own traction. But it is not all unwanted information as you will even be in a position to cite other subjects that are related towards the client’s goal viewers and stand an increased possible for attaining protection and shares.

 You'll uncover almost certainly pitfalls about imaginative content material evaluation in that it's simple to leap to defective conclusions. Here are some products to look at out for:

Make certain you're figuring out outliers...

When looking for out successful items of material, you must be sure that what you could be browsing for at is an outlier. Getting an illustration, the repeated submit on BuzzFeed may get earlier pointed out 30k social shares. As being a result, that publish you found with just 10k shares is not an outlier. It is completed significantly even worse than common. It is as a result not the best publish to be trying to keep up related into an impressive celebration of what to create to amass shares.

In fact, tend not to get distracted by formats...

Commit a good deal a lot more fascination on the idea as compared with construction. For instance, the parents at Mashable, kindly coated an infographic about Instagram which we produced to get a consumer. Nevertheless, the takeaway right here isn't that Instagram infographics get protection on Mashable. Mashable did not go more than this simply because we created an infographic. They coated the piece because it is knowledgeable a tale within a persuasive and strange way.

You probably should not produce a listicle...

This phase is said about the situation before talked about. In my expertise, right up until you happen to be a publisher by making use of a remarkable, engaged social pursuing, that listicle of yours is not likely to have traction. Listicles on tremendous publisher websites get shares, listicles on shopper web internet sites genuinely don't. That is certainly doubly important if you are also browsing for protection, as listicles on clientele internet sites genuinely usually do not typically get back again inbound links or protection on other internet sites.

At Distilled, we typically contemplate a creative transient, and whole creative material materials material investigation then adjust even though while in the ideation strategy. A summary in regards to the investigation is introduced in the present day transient, which, additionally to the duplicate in regards to the overall present day articles or blog posts or site posts investigation is shared with each one on the staff.

The investigation abilities as inspiration and route that is notably beneficial relating to pinpointing possible matter areas to confirm out but isn't going to present staff consumers never, however, do significantly far more analysis inside of their have.

This method under no circumstance abilities at the moment getting a silver bullet. However, it surely aids us to think about tips.

A good deal of a lot of many thanks for sticking with me for that conclude!