#ngaio shepard

[faejilly]

so average-mako-enjoyer made this post about Shepard being forced to have a social media account for morale and only posting hamster pictures and like

I read that and immediately had four different Shepards yelling at me in my head (I blame @shadoedseptmbr's Aedan tags) 🤣🤣🤣

*

Weaver would in fact include hamster pictures, but they'd be macro pictures of like, whiskers and toes only.

The whole account would all only be macro photos. No tags, no comments, no explanations, no definitions. No time stamps or metadata, all expertly wiped, no location cues beyond maybe the quality of the light... which isn't that hard to manipulate after all, if you've got an omnitool and some good flashlight/spotlight blueprints.

It's all just exquisite close-ups of pieces of gravel and seeds and leaves and pollen or fractions of circuit boards and weird screws or clamps or the odd pattern of wear on a [redacted but clearly the Mako for those in the know] tire.

She and Aeden would clearly get along great.

*

Ngaio would flat out refuse. (She would've done it if she'd met Traynor sooner, because she can refuse Traynor nothing, but that was too late, on several levels.)

*

Ella would be asked to make an account after she gets her N7 status and starts showing up in the news periodically; she's told to try and soften the public image of the infamous Butcher of Torfan.

She does set something up, posts some generic pretty Alliance Training Stock Photos, the kind you get in a recruiters office, but that's it for ages.

And then she posts five separate in-depth tutorials in a row, three on astronomy and two on France of all things, one specifically about the language, one about cooking.

Then nothing again.

And then a three-part series on astral navigation, and how different species figured out the math for measuring where the fuck they were in space.

Then a thing on baking with chocolate, including how to convert levo recipes to dextro (and vice versa) and which things were more likely to translate into something that might still taste good.

She never shows herself however, so it does fuck all to counter all the pics and videos of her stalking around heavily armed and armored in full gear, occasionally with a bit of a blue halo from biotics usage, generally glaring or scowling as she avoids reporters trying to get a comment.

Most people don't connect her socials to the Butcher of Torfan at all, and those that do assume someone else is running the account in her name in a failed Alliance PR stunt.

After the Battle of the Citadel, there are enough recordings of her helping with clean-up efforts and being polite at formal ceremonies to make it clear that the Butcher and the Shepard-who-goes-on-weird-tangents-on-social-media are actually the same person, who is also POSSIBLY a galactic hero, so the whispers about Torfan finally start to fade out a little...

And then she dies.

*

Ward would be some terrifying (but delightful once you got past the scowl) combination of Adam Savage and Mercury Stardust because he would legit show people how to take things apart and upgrade and fix them (and which bits are 'legal-ish' depending on whether they technically own them or not) but also things probably explode sometimes (or at the very least spark A Lot™️) and Tali guests wearing glorious (flame-retardant) Turian fashions and ALSO sometimes PROPRIETARY TECH THAT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE and no one ever bleeps ANY of Jack's swearing and sometimes the three of them are gleefully trying to make something that probably shouldn't exist and some poor Alliance PR officer cries in their office sometimes because they are actually spectacular PR and GREAT for morale and also they break so many TOS's but it's Commander Fucking Shepard so who's gonna tell him to stop?

[crqstalite]

happy holidays @faejilly !! your ngaio shepard for the other half of your exchange gift!! i had a blast working on both pieces!! <3

[faejilly]

Ngaio Shepard. The bitter tang of acetone

Every week her father would have his nails done. Sometimes her mother did them, and on rare occasions he’d go out to the salon and chat with the ladies as they did them for him. But usually he did them himself.

She liked when he did them. She’d curl up in the armchair and watch, his every move sharp and precise. First removing last weeks’ polish, the careful selection of new colors or patterns or stencils, his utter and complete concentration as he applied it, layer after perfect layer.

Even when she hadn’t seen him in person in years, even when they were no longer speaking beyond the formalities of birthdays and holidays, the familiar sharp tang of polish remover would make her smile, small and wistful.

*

Her mother taught her how to shoot. Taught her how to take care of her weapons, cleaning and repairing, ammunition always carefully stored separately, back when she was young and people still made bullets for recreation or hunting.

She rather thought that was part of the impetus for external heat sinks, twenty years later. It kept the ammo separate again, just in case. Not that any two people could agree on what they were protecting themselves from, on what precisely made them afraid.

Her job wasn’t to make those sorts of decisions. Her job was just to shoot back when everyone else had failed at their jobs and the shit hit the fan.

Her mother’s favorite cleaner had a sharp scent almost like her father’s polish remover, but deeper, and it lingered longer. 

More comforting when she smelled it again in the gun-locker aboard the Normandy. 

*

Traynor was half-way under the map display, her head and shoulders gone entirely from view, her ass sticking up and out of the access panel as she braced herself on her knees.

She was obviously rewiring something, as all the displays were off, but Shepard found she had trouble worrying about what had broken now, in favor of enjoying the view, so she perched on the edge of the stairs and waited.

Until something sparked, a sharp chemical smell rising up towards the ceiling, and Sam started swearing, bloody fucking something or other, and Shepard had dropped to her knees beside her and helped pull her out before she’d even realized she’d moved from her perch on the railing.

Sam was shaking her head a little, flapping her hand a bit more vigorously, as if it stung, and before she could start apologizing for the trouble, (Shepard recognized the lift of her shoulders, Sam could apologize for anything,) Shepard took her gently by the hand, and kissed her fingertips, one after the other.

The soft sound that escaped from Sam, warm and pleased, was enough to prove she was fine, despite the smell lingering against her skin. It was almost like Shepard’s father’s polish, her mother’s cleaner, any myriad of solvents she’d seen in assorted armories over the years. 

Sam had singed something under there that was still factory clean; or had been, before the spark. The Normandy never had been run through a proper inaugural scrub, since it still wasn’t technically finished.

“Miss a circuit, did you?”

“There shouldn’t have been one?” Sam shrugged, carefully enough not to shift her hand out of Shepard’s grip. “I’ll have to run yet another diagnostic against the schematics before I try again.”

“Tomorrow?” Shepard tightened her grip, just a little, and almost smiled at the way Sam’s eyes darkened.

“Tomorrow should be fine. EDI?” Traynor looked up at the ceiling, a completely unnecessary affectation that everyone indulged in. “Re-route power through the secondary circuit will you? We’ll at least have emergency functions until I can figure it out.”

“Certainly, Specialist.” 

There was a slight hum, and the display flickered back on, though it was all the same vaguely unpleasant shade of orange instead of the usual more varied hues.

Traynor frowned, wrinkles gathering over the bridge of her nose, and Ngaio stood up, tugging on the hand she still held. “Tomorrow, remember?”

Traynor’s shoulders started to do the thing again, and Ngaio cleared her throat.

Sam grinned up at her, and stood gracefully, not even pulling on Ngaio’s hand to balance her weight. “Sorry.”

Ngaio rolled her eyes, and they headed towards the elevator, hand in hand.

[faejilly]

so I didn’t write any of the three prompts I was working on earlier

but I finished a different one?

and hey, I finally figured out why Ngaio isn’t speaking to her father?

[crqstalite]

I posted 3,216 times in 2021

869 posts created (27%)

2347 posts reblogged (73%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.7 posts.

I added 1,124 tags in 2021

#mass effect - 263 posts

#oc - 169 posts

#original character - 165 posts

#kodelyn shepard - 119 posts

#citlali velasquez - 82 posts

#brione petrakis - 69 posts

#aj shepard - 67 posts

#liveblogging tag - 66 posts

#annika johansson - 62 posts

#kaidan alenko - 62 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#ive had like three games straight of players being just absolutely terrible socially because the team...wanted to play the game and win??

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

one lily shepard for @staff-lieutenant-alenko ‘s birthday!

45 notes • Posted 2021-06-04 19:00:23 GMT

#4

one giveaway prize for @pigeontheoneandonly of their nathaly shepard!

47 notes • Posted 2021-07-05 16:54:15 GMT

#3

happy holidays @faejilly !! your ngaio shepard for the other half of your exchange gift!! i had a blast working on both pieces!! <3

50 notes • Posted 2021-01-15 17:45:52 GMT

#2

@asianshep drew my kodelyn shepard for me and i'm in love with this piece!!!! the little details, the shading, her features, her scar!!! thank you so much bry i might actually cry!! definitely give her a follow, especially if you're a shrios fan!!

67 notes • Posted 2021-07-19 05:40:24 GMT

#1

“Ella Shepard loved the stars

Growing up, she had old (actual paper) books of the constellations on Earth and memorized them all, compared them to the ones on Mindoir

Some of the same stars showed up, in entirely different places, framing entirely different shapes, different brightnesses, different twinkles.

In the year after the Raid she broke two doors, (three fingers), one skylight; she had to see the stars where she was sleeping.

Her electives at the Academy were mostly astrogation, navigation; the only history class she aced was astronomy.

She memorized Relays, routes, stations.

She held the galaxy in her dreams.” - faejilly, knowledge.

-

happy holidays @faejilly!! i drew you your ella shepard for the holiday exchange, i hope it brightens your day!! <3

78 notes • Posted 2021-01-15 17:45:46 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[faejilly]

WIP Folder

Rules: Post the name of the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Send me an ask with the title that most intrigues/interests you and I’ll post a little snippet of it or I will tell you something about it!

I was bored so I included the “what they are” after the titles anyways, but feel free to ask me more questions or request excerpts if you’d like regardless *shrugs*

tagged by @twistedsinews, no pressure tagging @evilsapphyre @echo-bleu​ @glorious-spoon @ohfreckle @junemermaid and/or anyone who would like, no one who wouldn’t 😉

There are some miscellaneous ficlet things that are saved in tumblr drafts or notebooks or whatever: prompt fills, Shadowhunters codafics for the @malecdiscordserver​ #5YearsOfShadowhunters, some @shadowhunterbingo notes, #clizzy ficlets, Malec Alicante epilogue ficlets, some #7kpp feels, some flailing about a sequel to known subjects (BAU, SH/CM crossover) etc. They don’t have titles or anything yet, they’re just a mish-mash of oh I should get to that eventually notes.

WNIP: (aka Works-Not-In-Progress, as in I’m not planning on ever finishing these, but they might have bits I can use for something else some day)

oosdt (this dream is climbing sky) [sequel to out of some dreaming tree]

kisses (firsts) [notes on more ficlets for kisses are a better fate than wisdom; I may move this back into the regular folder once I get to 2x10 in the rewatch, since that’s where I stopped, timeline-wise, with the last ficlet.]

Persuasion [Malec Persuasion AU; Regency & Magic & Case-fic? It’s a monster that I may some day manage to cannibalize for parts.]

TOG [a Nicky/Joe meeting each other fic for The Old Guard]

candles (Merribela) [Dragon Age 2 Isabela/Merril something]

CI sequel: 5 times fic? [Cruel Intentions]

Code Realize warm as silk sequel [warm as silk]

Ngaio & Tane [Mass Effect, Spacer!Shepard and her estranged father]

Shan Xia notes [fic for a selkie character for an RPG that never got off the ground]

JE Zu & Yaling [Jade Empire, Spirit!Monk/Sagacious Zu Tragedy Feels!]

post-Kruschev (this is sept’s fault) [Scarecrow & Mrs. King Epilogue/s5 fix-it fic]

evil!angels [angels as eldritch horrors, parabatai angst, somethingsomething]

pro bono [s1 Malec Porn, I did a twitter thread about it once, it’s here]

Shadowhunters

iafy [I am for you; I have separate docs for notes, ch18, & ch 19. There will probably be a ch 20 as well (at least?) but I don’t have anything beyond notes for it yet.]

ibhww [if broken hearts were whole; this one also as a few separate docs as I try and get it organized]

mer!alec [this is also broken into three parts, the sequels to and breathing is wishing.)

fake hating [a Malec secret!relationship but Extra About It fantasy AU]

priest!kink theology? [Priest!Alec/Demon!Magnus. I made an aesthetic post about it last year, but I would like to Actually Fic (eventually)]

procedural-ish? [It was originally supposed to be a crack!fic/sex farce, and then a cop/CI pining thing, and is now probably a Mafia!AU? IDEK anymore.]

wing!fic [s1 canon-divergence AND ALSO NEPHILIM HAVE WINGS]

I had rather a rose than live forever [reverse!verse, High Warlock of Manhattan Alec Lightwood/Shadowhunter Magnus Bane]

spite!fic [not really spiteful, that’s just shorter than ‘2x20 aftermath/date night/pandemonium porn’]

fall fright fest continuation? (practical magic au)

“I do” [Arranged Marriage AU]

rubbish heap [s3 rewrite/sequel to with an if in its soul; includes amnesia & parabatai angst & Owl!complications & weird magic lore & etc.]

[faejilly]

I was tagged by @la-muerta​ & @facialteeth​ & @thedivinemissema​ for the WIP/Title Game

rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and interests you and i’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it!

AND THEN  by @shadoedseptmbr​ @msviolacea​ & @ravenclawnerd​ for the “stories you want to write... but for some reason haven’t yet”

so this will be a mish-mash of both? The WIPs will mostly have blurbs in this case (to fit the second meme) but you are still welcome to ask follow-up questions, if you’d like ;) Assuming you make it through the list, it is uh. Not Short.

Anyone who would like to play with their WIPs, please consider yourself tagged in either or both of these. :D

Misc Fic Folder:

“untitled document” - where I’m working on fictober fills so I have word-counts for my GYWO tracker. I am not working on these because Brains Are Dumb and also Going Back To Work Is Exhausting

I made a file called “YULETIDE!” which has nothing in it but I’m determined to finish this year so that is definitely technically a thing in the Unending WIP List of Doom worth mentioning. (Tho obviously that’s all I could say even if I had started, because anonymous.)

“coda-fics, rewatch!” -yes, that exclamation mark is important! it’s to keep me motivated! (it didn’t work). Much like untitled, this is for putting stuff so I can do word count tracking even if I don’t know what I’m doing. Currently I think it just says “MARYSE” because I was working on my SH 1x6 coda-fic and then got distracted and haven’t typed anything up yet. (Yay notebooks? Boo notebooks? Not even sure at this point.)

WNIP (works not in progress) Folder:

“TOG” - I had one vivid mental image of how Nicky & Joe met (blood-stained evil smiles?) but then no idea for a follow-up story and also the fandom is insane and I’m not sure I want to deal with all of *gestures vaguely* all that

“Shan Xia Notes” -for a TTRPG that never quite got off the ground; she was a semi-tragic selkie who was still in love with the evil queen/lady who stole her skin and I got to play her for like one session and she was surprisingly chaotic neutral, which wasn’t at all what I’d been expecting. But the game never really got off the ground, so I never had enough info to really delve into writing backstory fic

“post-Kruschev” -Kruschev’s List was the last episode of Scarecrow & Mrs King, and I was debating writing an epilogue in place of the s5 we never got, to try and tie up some loose ends, but the fandom’s three old-ladies in trench coats and I never quite worked up the gumption to get it anywhere

“Code Realize warm as silk sequel” -there is literally nothing in this file except “SEX! Only a little angst” because I wanted to write some “we can’t actually touch each other” smut but never actually did. 🤷‍♀️

BioWare (also all Not-In-Progress Anymore)

“seb/adelaide”, “Theia” & “DAI Erana” -these WIP folders were cannibalized for ficlets for the last few times I did fictober, and while originally I had ideas for longer epilogues for all three of them, at this point I don’t think any of the remaining bits could support a story any longer.

”whispers in the dark” -Maia Ryder never really got much fic at all; the cancellation of any further Andromeda stuff was really disheartening, and at this point I’d have to play the game again, and I don’t think I’m gonna manage that any time soon

”TSP” -a Mass Effect 3 Shepard AU collab project that kind of went off the rails, and our mutual brains/lives never quite seem to line up so we can try and rebuild it ”Ngaio & Tane” -my one truly ruthless Shepard (Alliance background, who romanced Traynor) whose father Tane Shepard was, I think, in PsyOps, and I wanted to figure out their complicated relationship but never really did know where I was going with it

”JE Zu & Yaling” -so I’ve rambled about my Tragic Sagacious Zu Romance Thoughts regarding Jade Empire more than once (#Icy Yaling should have most of it) but apparently I want to yell about it more than I want to actually write it? Whoops.

”CI sequel: 5 times fic?” -Cruel Intentions is a kinkmeme fill that I started and then it sat for like five years before I actually finished it, and I liked the ending, but it does leave a giant fucking question mark in terms of how those people got from there to where they are after the game, and I kind of wanted to write a proper h/c fic rather than just... leaving them wallowing in all that trauma?

But I didn’t. I don’t even remember for sure how I wanted to frame the 5/1 of it all, besides it being something sad about allowing people to see you or touch you in some way. (Prayers maybe, since I think there was definitely some Sebastian & Fenris & faith stuff going on in there.)

“candles” -Merribela prompt fill that I never was happy with? Not sure what I might do with it at this point, so it’s just sitting there all sad and lonely and neglected-like.

Shadowhunters

pt1: WIP LIST ONLY

“Persuasion” -so I keep trying to write Persuasion AUs in many fandoms because it’s my favorite Austen, but I think I like it too much, I have no real solid concept of how I’d transform it, and if I don’t have anything else to say about different characters within that framework, I have no push to actually write anything? Also this SH version of it suffered from MASSIVE scope creep when I started outlining and it got too big for me to handle so I like, killed it twice? Whoops. This one is really probably never gonna happen.

“oosdt sequel” -I wanted to write more about the Forest That Eats People and Magnus & Alec as Guardians Between Worlds, and also some background Magnus’ Found Family & Lightwood Family Feels (maybe some clizzy?) and I left a Madzie plot-thread dangling from the first one on purpose even but I think this one had too many ideas and not enough focus so it’s sort of sprawling all over a doc with a lot of “???” in it

“procedural-ish” -this was originally going to be a sex-farce. and then it turned more serious. and then maybe kind of copaganda which was uncomfortable in terms of the Everything That Is The News in 2020, and then maybe it was more a Mafia AU and at that point I had self-inflicted tone whiplash and I wished the voices in my head were a little more forthcoming about their plans so I stopped before I brained myself on my computer monitor in frustration.

“I had rather a rose than live forever” -I started a reverse!verse Malec (Shadowhunter!Magnus, High Warlock!Alec) for bingo last year, and I couldn’t quite get it together in time, so I made a moodboard inspired by the bits I’d started instead. I may see if one of my prompts from Bingo this year help me finish it?

“fall fright fest (practical magic  au)” -exactly what it says on the tin! almost exactly a year old & neglected! IDEK ANYMORE (I talked about this one with the WIP meme last time tho: here)

“priest!kink theology?” -I thought it was gonna be smut? I like priest!kink. I have made other people like it and yell at me even! But then I kept diverging into demon!Magnus thinking about Priest!Alec’s faith and as usual, IDEK ANYMORE *laughs*

(If they’re remotely canon-adjacent or divergent, a bunch of these are in here because I need to rewatch the show to get the pacing/timing/tone right and I haven’t, and I don’t know why, because I enjoy the show, but BRAINS! Are Dumb! So I guess that’s it?)

“I do” -I have tried to write this damnable Malec arranged marriage fic like six different times. I have signed up for fic exchanges and bangs with it, I have rewritten massive sections, trying to change tone or structure or POV or whatever, and it basically comes down to they like each other too fast and I keep not gutting it enough to get back to a useful pace, but by the time I realized that I was on take six and kind of sick of it. I may get back to it eventually

“wing!fic” -canon divergent in early s1, trying to deal with the consequences of Simon’s kidnapping as the Truly Serious Event that it should have been. It uh. Got heavier than I expected with those consequences (considering it was originally just supposed to be Alec’s wings flirting with Magnus) and also see above re: rewatching for pacing.

“2x20 aftermath/date night/pandemonium porn“ -yes that is the actual wip title. It used to be “spite fic” because I was originally inspired by fighting against a lot of fic!Alec characterization that was clearly based more on the books and ATG syndrome than the Alec in the show, which is the Alec I know and like and want to read about. BUT, pacing and etc. again, I think. Also I have somehow entirely lost my knack for writing porn, which makes it difficult to finish something originally intended to be smut!fic. Or even teasing almost!smut.

“rubbish heap” -so this is about three different fics that I realized complemented each other really well so they’re now all in the same file as I try to turn them into the sequel of “with an if in its soul”. It includes amnesia, parabatai lore shenanigans, a s3 rewrite, and some truly awful Owl adjustments that make me wince in horrified authorly delight and pain. BUT, as with the other ones in this file, the scope is large and I normally write short-fic and I kind of just threw up my hands in exasperation. I may have to break it back up into the three different fics instead, if I ever actually want to write it. Them? But also I need to take better notes on s3 to make sure I have what I need in here.

SH Pt 2: Started posting or not yet in hiatus because it’s actually almost ready to be a thing in the real world! maybe!?

“kisses (firsts)” -I actually started publishing this one, a “series of firsts” that was supposed to be kind of relationship milestones and kind of an excuse for smut, and then there wasn’t that much smut and I lost momentum and also dear lords & ladies the timeline is stupid, wtf. I may not ever add to this one, tbqh. It doesn’t stop in a terrible place, and they’re all ficlets so they stand alone all right.

“clizzy epilogue” -this is blank atm, it’s more a reminder for me to keep poking away at my “girls who can’t breathe air, only fire” collection BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO ACTUALLY GET TO THE CLIZZY AT SOME POINT

"mer!alec" -pts 2-4 of a series, but apparently having an actual plan gets in the way of me *writing* the thing, and I haven't managed to throw the half an outline far enough away from my brain to be able to write again. Or something like that.

"ibhww" -if broken hearts were whole is a soulmate fic I started a million years ago, and purposefully set aside to finish some other WIPs because I thought they'd be quick, and now it's just buried under two and a half years of regret and shame so it's hard to get back to it

"iafy" -i am for you is a delightful & frothy semi-epistolary fluff piece that also just lost momentum because Life & 2020 & etc. It's far and away the most popular thing I've ever posted on AO3, which also makes me feel weird sometimes, and I feel like the fact that there's no grand conclusion planned, just a bit more fluff and settling in, might end up being disappointing? Basically, it's the first time I think I've psyched myself out about reader expectations, and until I get over that I'm going to have trouble finishing the last couple chapters. (There really are probably only two more chapters though. IT’S SO CLOSE, I wish I could just... write it. And yet?)

“fake-hating” -I do not like fake dating as a trope that much, I just do not get it, but I love outside POVs and arranged marriages and there’s this delighful tumblr post about how they wished there was more fic about people who were together but had to pretend they werent’, and uh. This may be that? Eventually? I’m not exhausted by my failure to finish it yet, so it’s still in the regular folder rather than the hiatus folder, even though nothing’s been posted for it.

AND I THINK THAT’S IT?

Not as terrible as it could be, but still. MANY WORDS THAT MAY NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY. Posting the equivalent of one’s old ratty sketchbook is always a weird feeling. :D

[faejilly]

Title Game

rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and interests you and i’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it!

tagged by @glorious-spoon, no pressure tagging, uh... whoever wants? IDK also @jadesabre301 @quilleth @leahazel @teaandinanity @thedivinemissema

so, do the WNIP/Hiatus folders count?

The Shepard Project

Persuasion

oosdt2

kisses (firsts)

rubbish heap

I do

wing!fic

procedural-ish?

priest!kink theology?

I had rather a rose than live forever

practical magic au

2x20 aftermath/date night/pandemonium porn

whispers in the dark

CI sequel: 5 times fic?

warm as silk sequel

JE Zu & Yaling

Ngaio & Tane

post-Kruschev (this is sept’s fault)

Shan Xia notes

tentacles (Merribela)

candles (Merribela)

other WIPs

mer!alec

ibhww

iafy

fake hating

misc

[faejilly]

oh gosh guys

@bloomingcnidarians reminded me it’s almost N7 day and I have absolutely nothing planned, so uh

Comments? Requests? Impertinent questions re: Ella or Ngaio or Ward Shepard? 

I would like to have something new to post for them. <3

[faejilly]

#N7 2017

Ngaio Shepard/Samantha Traynor

1. acetone 

Ella Shepard/Joker

2. indigo skies  3. shadows  

Ward Shepard/Jack

4. sigh  5. Reds  6. blood  7. rescued (nsfw)

[faejilly]

Next up in my belated Shepard's Day world-flailing ... Ngaio Shepard.

(Not that the asari thought much of two-to-four year programs, rather than something more at the asari-speed of twenty, as jade illustrated pretty  nicely in her biotic-training-headcanon posts, (1,2,3).  I do think it would need a bit longer than 18 months, personally, considering that Grissom starts them up at 12-ish, if it finds them young enough, and seems to run until they're adults, but I also think the Alliance combat-focused program would be a bit different than Grissom's more holistic goals, and could certainly pull of some acceleration without losing too much in terms of effectiveness.)

So, Ngaio, my spacer-brat, ended up at this prep school in lieu of more normal high school, and funneled happily enough into the Academy, and this over-abundance of educational opportunities is how she ended up quite the well-rounded and powerful sentinel.  

Ngaio always has to have a plan. Or three.

Not that they work that often, poor dear, (sole-survivor), but she likes to have them anyways.

Because of this, she never quite had the standard twelve-weeks-of-hell that is enlisted Basic ... instead her physical/emotional training was integrated into eight years of school, and it would be almost impossible for her to find those turning points, the moments when she crossed the lines from civilian to cadet to marine.

She'd probably tell you she was never just a civilian, (perhaps a bit of scorn in there, she's a touch arrogant), not with both her parents as Alliance.  Even when she and her father are incredibly distant, she never stops being proud of his career, would never begrudge to admit that her parents are both exemplary officers.

/Someday I'll figure out what Tane Shepard does.  Or did.  Not yet though.  Ngaio doesn't like to share, clearly.

And again, this is more a Shepard interview than really delving into my ideas re: biotics and Basic and Alliance military training. Sorry?

[faejilly]

Ngaio Shepard

When ME3 came out, I had lost all my old saves (dead XBox) and was too impatient to replay, (or even wait for someone to send me files on a USB stick), so I rolled a non-import/default Shepard.

She was just supposed to be a throw-away, someone who would let me see the game right away, but she developed a very strong voice of her own ... what kind of person would you be, losing so very much, living in a galaxy where everyone kept dying on you?

She's painfully self-sufficient, a spacer/sole-survivor, raised in the knowledge that every day may be the one where you're called upon to give it all, and she trained as a sentinel to make herself as versatile as possible.

She's my only really renegade Shepard, determined to continue no matter the odds, no matter the consequences.  She shot Mordin in the back when she couldn't convince him to sabotage the Cure, because she needed the salarians and she knew she couldn't leave Wreav unchecked.  Both Thane and Kirrahe were already dead, so no one was there to save the Councilor during the Citadel coup, and then she had to shoot Alenko when she couldn't get him to back down.  She sided with the geth, because they weren't the aggressors, and had to watch Tali commit suicide after the quarians died.  

The only light in her life, by that point, was Samantha Traynor, and they clung together for the brief moment of time they managed together.  Which wasn't that much, unfortunately. ;_;

While she was ruthless enough to kill anyone who got in her way, she was loyal enough to protect anyone who was hers.  After everything the geth and EDI had done to help, she refused to choose their sacrifice for them, and opted for the Control ending.  

She rather powered her way through the game, afraid of losing time, and this was before the extended cut, so she didn't even manage to unlock synthesis as an option.  Not that she would've taken it, but I figured that would help illustrate her priorities.  She got the 'bad' Control ending.  A very pyrrhic victory, at best.

*I actually really recommend everyone look up the gameplay options for a default/non-import Shepard, even if they're not willing to play one themselves, because it starts out as such a different galaxy than most people have when doing a multiple-game run.  It's fascinating.  If slightly horrifying.  Also watching Garrus stand besides you as everything dies really highlights the edges of his character ... they were a good fit as friends, really, as Ngaio is all about understanding the harsh calculus of war.

Fic: fall from grace 

Art: christmas card by linaleah

photosets [1] [2]  screenshots by shenzi123

[faejilly]

Happy Character Meme

tagged by @tarysande (thank you, <3)

Let’s play a game, shall we? Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is this:

- pick one (or more, or all) of your characters

- tell us about something that makes them happy (can be meta, fic, in their own voice, whatever you like)

- pass it on to a few people you think might enjoy playing, too

my computer’s been having tumblr issues, so I’m not entirely sure who has played yet, but if you haven’t, and you’d like, consider yourself tagged. Alternatively, um. @shadoedseptmbr @lunamax1214 @shadesofmauve @sinvraal @leahazel @siawrites, @evilsapphyre

Mass Effect Edition!

Ella Shepard 

chocolate

good music, dancing shoes, and a short skirt

old french songs

finding a new restaurant, recipe, or cocktail

(did I mention chocolate?)

did I mention a good stiff drink?

you know, good and stiff apply to other things, don’t they? 

now you’re thinking way more about Joker and me than you want to, aren’t you? ;)

Ward Shepard 

the warm buzz a fixed desk or datapad makes when you turn them back on and they boot up properly

Jack swearing

Tali’s giggle

the sound Jack makes when she accidentally steps on her earpiece because when she took it off she just dropped it on the floor again

The way Garrus’ mandible flares when he realizes I just rebuilt the autochef or the cannon interface

Jack Not Swearing 

an email from Luka

Jack’s eyes when she’s pretending not to smile

Ngaio Shepard 

hitting send on a finished AAR

a clean desk and an empty inbox

actual fresh coffee

Mom’s laugh

the smell of an armory, clean and sharp and metallic

the little dance Sam does in her chair when she wins a game

the sound she makes when I kiss the back of her neck

wait that’s none of your damn business

being able to tell people my life is none of their damn business

[faejilly]

So, I play ME on XBox, but the lovely Shenzi gets screenshots for me, and I flail at her a lot. <3  And I realized I've been neglecting ME a lot lately, and figured some Ngaio would be a good way to remedy that.

[faejilly]

Ngaio Shepard, for the meme.

Full Name: Ngaio Shepard (nope, no middle name)

Gender and Sexuality: woman, lesbian

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: human, Alliance. I mean, I know that’s not technically a thing (and her father’s family is a bit of a SE Asian/Pacific Islander bit of everything while her mother’s family is a Western European/North American same) but her parents are both officers, and have large military extended families, so when she thinks about her place in the world and her heritage and her legacy? It’s all Alliance Blue.

Birthplace and Birthdate: She sticks to the game canon, 2154. And her actual birthdate is her only birthday she manages to spend on Earth in her entire life. Whee? (They were stationed in Singapore at the time.)

Guilty Pleasures: Dancing. It’s the only time she’s not 500% in control of everything)

Phobias: trypophobia

What They Would Be Famous For: Sole-Survivor, Savior of the Citadel, etc. etc. Without the Reapers, she probably would have ended up an Admiral, and when desk-duty got boring, slid her way into politics. She’d be one of those Admirals even the non-military have probably heard of.

What They Would Get Arrested For: She would never. Even if she did something terribly illegal, (probably some sort of information gathering) she’d have an escape plan.

OC You Ship Them With: I don’t know if I’d ship them, but I would love to introduce her to @jadesabre301‘s Thistle Hawke. I think they’d be too much alike to get involved, but gosh it would be interesting.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: My very first impulse answer to this was Naessa. Which is weird, because she is not at all murderous or vindictive or violent? And yet. I think she’d find Ngaio’s ruthless pragmatic streak terrifying, and she’d do everything she could to get Ngaio out of power.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Period romances. IDEK. She likes passion constrained by rules? Something like that.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Any too terribly contrived conflict, or a TSTL ... some sort of stupid to make the plot work.

Talents and/or Powers: Sentinel, baby, she can do anything. (And is perfectly well aware of it.) She is arrogant, and powerful, and clever. It’s a deadly combination.

Why Someone Might Love Them: She is grace in every action, powerful and controlled and beautiful. She is practically a force of nature, but she’ll remember the name of your sister, from a conversation you had in passing five months ago, and she stays in touch with every friend she’s ever made. She will honor you, and everything you have ever done to help, every achievement you have ever had. 

Why Someone Might Hate Them: She will shoot you in the back if you’re in her way. (Literally. Sorry Mordin.) She will warn you first, but she will never back down. 

How They Change: She ... doesn’t, actually. That is her fatal flaw. She watches the entire galaxy change around her, and refuses to change herself. She will make it work whether it wants to or not. Even if that requires shifting the very stars to obey her will. 

Why You Love Them: She is tragic, and hard as diamond, and oh, she loves with all her heart, but she never lets that stop her head from making a decision.

[faejilly]

Ngaio Shepard (I trawled through your OC's page and she intrigues me). "Call Me".

The package arrived the day before her birthday.

Every year, no matter her posting, or her father’s posting, Tane Shepard somehow accurately navigated the impossible schedule that was the Alliance mail system, and got Ngaio her present the day before her birthday.

Every year.

There had probably been boxes before then, as well, as memories of her childhood were more recognizable by her father’s absence than his presence, but her mother had taken care of them before Ngaio saw them.

Practical things, usually. New sweaters, new datapads, a subscription to a particularly good book service.  After she enlisted, armor or weapon mods showed up, new omnitool software, or even, once, the latest amp out of solaris. 

Ngaio dutifully put them in with the rest of her clothes and gear, using them precisely as intended.

There was usually a little trinket included as well, small toys giving way to silver earrings or smooth dark hair combs, rainbow socks or beaded necklaces.

They were all carefully stowed away in the same well worn wooden box, the carvings faded and blending together until it was impossible to tell what the original pictures had been.  It got put in the bottom of her trunk or the back of her closet, to be left alone until it was time to pull it out the next year, for the next addition to the collection.

And then she would sit down, and pen a proper thank you letter on old fashioned paper, and put it in an old fashioned envelope, and slip the whole thing in the small shipping pouches available at any Alliance post, and send it off into space to find it’s way back to her father.

Hannah sometimes called the week before her birthday.

Sometimes she didn’t manage it until close to a week after, during Ngaio’s third shift, interrupting the first proper sleep shift she’d had in a week.

And she would laugh, and apologize, and ask if she should try again later, and Ngaio would smile, and collapse in the chair in the comm booth, and tell her no, now was fine.

They’d talk for almost an hour, and only when it was almost time to go, the inevitable click of the chrono counting down in the corner, would Hannah ask if she’d gotten her present yet, and what it was, and if she’d spoken to her father lately.

Ngaio would tell her of the box, and shrug, and make excuses about the differences in shift times across the fleet, and Hannah would swallow her sigh, and smile, a small gesture almost hidden in the flicker of blue or orange or green holos, and wish her daughter a Happy Birthday.

Ngaio would thank her, and blow her a kiss, and promise to talk to him soon, truly, and wait until the holo was gone, the booth dim and quiet, before allowing a sigh of her own to escape.

On her father’s birthday, precisely 34 days after her own, she would fulfill her promise, hunt through every buoy connection until she got a decent signal, and call her father.

For just a moment, when the call connected, his eyes would meet hers, we have the same eyes, and for just an instant she remembered the feel of his hands when she’d tripped on an uneven plasteel walk when she was eight, and he’d helped her up and kissed it better, and the sound of his voice, singing to her whenever she was sick, an old folksong he’d learn from his grandmother, the words an incomprehensible mish-mash of common and maori and french and an asian polyglot she never had quite identified.

But she’d never cared about the words, just the voice, low and steady until she fell asleep.

He never used that voice anymore.  

Instead his every word was clear and cool and precise, and they would nod, and exchange pleasantries, until they both ran out of things to say, of stories to share, and she wished him a Happy Birthday.

And that was it, until the package arrived next year.

Precisely one day before her birthday.