#ngl the biggest reason I put this off specifically for so long is that I don't really like this song .. sorry hiddenblr

[hongjoongpresent]

Somin in every performance video - Tell My Momma

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

I really want the show to go into more detail about Husk's backstory as an overlord, partly because I feel like it's something the fandom is kinda glossing over and partly because it's lowkey one of the biggest obstacles that a Husk/Angel relationship would have into overcome.

'Loser Baby' emphasises the similarities between Angel and Husk's situations, but it also (probably deliberately, since Husk is the one leading it) brushes aside one of the most major differences between them.

Namely that when Husk tells Angel that he's not the only one who sold his soul, he's not just singing about himself.

Husk sold his soul to Alastor, yeah (or lost it at least, which amounts to the same thing), but he also traded in souls. He was that “psychopathic freak”, and was operating fro long enough to achieve Overlord status.

And, honestly? Having your soul owned by Husker back in the day probably sucked.

The one benefit of soul contracts for the person selling their soul is that they seem to get a fair amount of say in how the contract is written.

Angel's contract, for example, apparently has a clause stating that he's only under Valentino's jurisdiction when he's in the studio. (Which, btw, puts a whole other spin on why Val is so pissed when he moves out of studio accommodation and into the Hotel.) And Val is apparently bound to that. Even though he's pissed off and actively wants to put Angel in his place, he can't make any moves against him in the club.

Equally, since most overlords seem to be associated with a specific location/industry, you can generally choose who your working for and therefore roughly what kind of stuff you're gonna be doing.

In practice there seems to be a lot of manipulation and coercion going on on the part of the Overlords making these contracts— they're not fair by any means— but the sinners signing them are theoretically at least guaranteed the right to a (somewhat) informed choice and some control over the deals they make.

Having an Overlord who uses human souls to pay his gambling debts, however, completely undermines all that.

Imagine going into work for your job running the roulette games at the casino only to be told that the boss played a bad hand in a game with Valentino, and so you're a sex worker now.

Or being traded to someone who has you fighting turf wars for them, and realising that your contract doesn't have any clauses to protect your personal safety because you only signed up to be a bartender.

Or selling your soul for a job near your home and family so you can guarantee their protection, only to be traded to someone whose territory is on the other side of the pentagram.

Husk is a victim of his own addiction, yeah, which is one of the reasons why Angel relates to him. But his backstory implies that there must be a significant number of people out there who were also victims of Husk's addiction, and may not be as sympathetic. Dude basically owned other people as property (… we have a word for that) and then literally played games with their lives.

And like, I'm not saying he hasn't changed. He seems more empathetic on the show than his backstory would imply, and apart from anything else, he's had a pretty clear object lesson about what it's like to be on the receiving end of that sort of thing. (Ngl, I'm pretty sure one of the reasons Alastor keeps him around is because he's the type to find the irony amusing.)

But like, he's in this place where he can relate to Angel Dust's situation, while at the same time probably also being able to relate to Valentino and Alastor's perspectives (although I doubt he was quite as bad as Val to work for).

And I'm curious as to what would happen, later in the series, if the gang met someone who had sold their soul to Husk at one point. Someone who would also be able to relate to Angel's situation, but with Husk as their version of Valentino.

[mayoiayasep]

ooo im so interested to hear your thoughts, why do you think cozmez and 1Nm8 should interact?

hiii sorry for this being like 2 days late 😅. also @ ing @jalapenobee bc i was going to send this to her as well. hi bee👋🏾

um anw so. at first ngl it was just me putting them together bc like oh two units w brother relationships in it that would be fun, but then i like thought about it and i would reallyyy like to see them interact

like firstly there's the slight differences in the definitions of the words "avenge" and "revenge". to avenge can mean "to take vengeance on behalf of", and i think that really suits 1nm8 specifically bc of kei's mindset in terms of the phantom lives. its been a hot second since i've read the after showdown drapa so idk how much his beliefs have changed but 1nm8's reason for joining road to legend was kinda for kei to "avenge" rokuta and itsuki having to go through the experiments by winning and then dismantling paradox live.

for revenge, i'm not really the biggest cozmez-head to lmk if i get smthn wrong here but i also thought that being in the revengers team also really suited cozmez out of the other units. while the two words have similar meanings i've always thought that revenge had a more aggressive/angrier tone to it and i feel like that fits cozmez's bitterness towards the world and their circumstances pretty well. like at least in the first round.

k so for why i think they should interact. i think kei would piss kanata off. like kanata's a pretty prickly person so like. it doesnt really take much but i believe kei's savior mindset would annoy him to no end, and if kei is still on the topic of taking down the phantom lives i want him to mention nayuta. tbh w that point im not really sure if kei would know? about it bc while nayuta was taken in by alter trigger he wasn't a subject to the extent that rokuta and itsuki were. which, pivoting from that, i think the bringing up of nayuta's alter trigger experience would be a good excuse to get more itsuki and rokuta AT lore! specifically itsuki like you have no idea how much i want details about how he got there, especially since he got there at 5?? like jfc. also w itsuki lore it would be nice to see how itsuki and rokuta met, since it would've been before itsuki started repressing his emotions and ive always wondered how their dynamic was before that.

lastly, i said earlier that i think kei would make kanata mad but i would like. also like to see the reverse happening if possible? im not quite sure how but they're like, the same age and kei always tries to seem so put together w his mindset and all that as well as the fact that he financially provides for himself rokuta and itsuki. so while it's unlikely that kei could get like. mad mad i would like to see him irritated. a little bit. as a treat for me.

anw ramble pretty much over👍🏾 tbh i have a bit more in my brain but this is super long already so. yea bye👋🏾

[pwarkluv]

❝ bubbly ❞ - pjs

park jisung x reader | fluff | 3.3k words

WARNINGS | lowercase is intended, idol au, established relationship au, ngl this is really really fluffy, slight angst if you squint hard enough, idol!jisung x normal!reader, jisung and reader just miss each other :(, annoying dreamies who always tease poor jisung

SUMMARY | when you wait for him to come home from tour but accidentally falls asleep on the couch.

AUTHOR’S NOTE | this is my first fanfic on my blog oh my! mark isn’t here just cause he isn’t with the dreamies rn! i still love him though :) this is inspired by the song “bubbly” by colbie caillat! also this is not really your usual shy!jisung. he’s still shy but still kinda bold if that makes sense? idk idk this might really suck-

one month. 

one month of lonely nights, calls at random times depending on the difference in time zones, kisses through the phone, and just overall missing jisung.

park jisung. your boyfriend.

even saying that in your head brings millions and millions of butterflies to your tummy. the maknae of nct and the main dancer of the dreamies was yours. and you were just as much his. 

but being away from him is one of the scariest things for you. jisung was like your rock and not having him there meant more frequently bad days for you. it’s as if you can’t function properly knowing he won’t be waiting for you once you come home. 

however, after a long four weeks he was finally coming home. the moment you heard his voice on the phone reassuring you that he’d be home tonight, you secretly bursted out crying, not wanting to make the older boy worry. 

the night he came home, you did some light eyeliner and wore simple clothing, not wanting to go all out since it would probably be late at night until he got home and to be honest all you wanted was to just be in his loving embrace. after putting on the gray hoodie jisung left for you and black leggings, you put your up in a messy bun. your stray baby hairs were peaking out.

you then drove to the dreamies dorm where you agreed to meet up, being able to see not only your boyfriend but your best friends as well. the managers let you in with a smile. they have always had a soft spot for you and lowkey loved you more than the boys.

sitting on the couch you waited. hours passed and still nothing. no notifications on your phone. no text. no call. the last form of communication you had with jisung was his phone call letting you know he was on the plane, about to take off. 

you were a little worried, wondering if he’s still on his flight or if he’s okay. but you didn’t really know the distance between where he was flying from and korea, so the flight could just be really really long.

you tried staying up, you really did. the movie you played to keep you entertained was slowly lulling you to sleep. it was already one am and from the long day you had, you just couldn’t fight off the heaviness of your eyes.

a few hours passed and you were knocked out on the couch, your soft snores filled the silence of the room as the movie was long over.

too deep in your sleep to notice you didn’t wake up to hear your phone ringing and buzzing, blowing up with texts and calls from your very own boyfriend. 

jisung was worried. you weren’t answering and the last form of contact he had with you was when he called you right before they took off. your excited voice made his heart swell and he couldn’t wish for anything more than the plane to hurry up so he can scoop his baby in his arms and shower you with kisses. 

it was a little weird to have those thoughts though. jisung? the shy baby of nct wanting to give kisses? if you told him that a year ago he would’ve laughed and asked if you were mentally sane. being an idol at thirteen meant knowing at such a young age the things accepted and shamed in the kpop industry. having a girlfriend or any intimate relationship like that meant hate and shame for both parties. but his reasoning to not have a significant other yet all washed away the moment he laid his eyes on you.

one year later and you’re the light of his life. sure his hyungs loved teasing him about you but to be honest, he’ll take any sort of teasing if it meant being with you. you were and still are his everything. although he is still really shy showing affection in front of them, he’d still pull you in for a kiss if he really wanted to. however once you two were alone, this man was the biggest bully ever. since you were younger than him by a year, he loves babying you and teasing you about your height. 

he’s still growing his confidence being like that with his members so there’s an occasional time where he’ll speak to you cutely, cause the other members to gape in shock, mouths opening and closing like goldfish in a tank. 

during the ride back to their dorm, jisung couldn’t help but voice out his worries to his hyungs, wondering if you were okay. 

“do you think y/n is okay?” jisung would ask every ten seconds, lowkey annoying the others. his leg was bouncing nervously as he stared at his phone screen, seeing all the unread messages.

“jisung don’t be dumb.” renjun sighed as he laid down, reclining the seat as far as it could go. “it’s three am for god's sake! she probably just fell asleep.” he reasoned with the younger, just wanting him to shut up. 

donghyuck laughed a bit with his eyes closed, feeling the fatigue get to him too. 

jisung pouted a bit before sighing back. “i mean i guess you’re right.” 

the pink haired boy reclined his chair back too before quickly sitting up in terror.

“jisung what’s—”

“what if she’s being kidnapped and—“

chenle threw a pillow at him to shut up.

-

jisung flew out of the car, not caring if his luggage was still in the trunk of the car or if the others were still behind. the only thing he cared about was you. 

fumbling with the keys to the dorm he managed to open the lock in record time before face planting on the floor, tripping on the random shoe on the floor. the boy was ready to throw hands with the footwear until he realized who it belonged to. 

y/n, he thought. 

quietly walking through the dark dorm he sees a light coming from the living room and hears the snores he’s been wishing to hear in person for a whole month. 

❝ it starts in my toes, makes me crinkle my nose ❞

his feet suddenly felt like jelly looking at your peaceful form. you were gorgeous.

his nose scrunched up in happiness after noticing you were wearing his hoodie, the one he specifically wore for a week straight after knowing he’d be away for you for a month. 

with shaky hands, jisung slowly swats the stray hairs from your hair, a smile on his lips. as carefully as he could, he removed the blanket covering you sleeping form to slip in beside you on the couch.

❝ wherever it goes, i always know❞

the feeling of your warmth snuggled up against him still makes his heart hammer and at some point jisung was afraid you’d wake up to the sound of his thumping heart. instead however, you just nuzle your head into his neck instinctively making his face heat up. you really had an effect on this boy.

❝ you make me smile, please stay for a while now ❞

in moments like these, jisung really takes the time to appreciate how beautiful you are. don’t get him wrong, you’re gorgeous all the time. but when you’re unconscious, eyeliner slightly smudged, hair up in a messy bun and in his clothes, these are the most beautiful moments for him.

the smile on his lips evident as he thinks how nice it would be to come home to you like this for the rest of his life.

❝ just take your time whoever you go❞

rubbing soft circles into your back, jisung was ready to fight donghyuck when he came into the dorms like a mad man. the moment hyuck opened his mouth, your boyfriend was already shushing him with a glare, being careful to not lose the rhythm his hands had on your back. 

hyuck’s eyes widened a bit before smiling softly at the two. 

“jisungie is in loveee~” he teased the younger as the rest of the members came walking through the door, their eyes landing at the soft sight in front of them. 

jaemin looked at you two so happily. he knew how much you made their maknae happy and how much their maknae made you happy. you guys were a match made from heaven and he loved you for always bringing a smile to jisung’s face.

jeno’s eye smile was out, snickering a bit at how disgustingly fluffy jisung looked. the shy boy he grew up with was so confident (or well, more confident than usual) when it came to you. you brought out the best in the boy and jeno couldn’t thank you enough for that. 

chenle just rolled his eyes with a small smile, walking towards his room. he loves you two, don’t get him wrong. but sleep is calling him. lowkey though chenle loves to see you two together just cause the room gets brighter. your happiness and content being in each other’s arms makes everyone in the room happy too.

renjun bit back a smile, wanting to tease the younger. 

“i told youuu~!” he poked at jisung’s cheeks, bending down to look at your sleeping form fondly. looking at jisung’s red cheeks he laughed, causing the boy to glare again.

“shush you’re gonna wake her up.” he whispered.

renjun narrowed his eyes a bit before scoffing. “you’re lucky i like her and want her to sleep, unlike you.” he rolled his eyes but his smile showed he wasn’t really mad. 

after everyone left, jisung turned his attention back to you immediately cooing at the drool falling down your mouth. it was a little disgusting, he wasn’t gonna lie, but you’re cute so he let it slide. jisung was about to go for a kiss until he heard an annoying voice whisper in the back :

“jisungie is in loveee~”

the pillow that jisung threw at hyuck is what woke you up.

[spaceorphan18]

I’m writing a Klaine fic and I want to incorporate smut but I feel weird doing it because I just have no idea how to write it (I’m a lesbian), so I’m not asking for like specific tips or anything lol but how did you start getting the hang of and learning to write smut for your fics?

Ngl, I was tickled to get this question - because I never thought anyone would ever be asking me advice on writing smut, lol.

Here's some general thoughts for ya, though, Nonny! :)

Top Ten Tips for Writing Smut

1. There are two-ish kind of aspects to writing smut. The mechanics. And the emotion. The mechanics, which might be the scarier part, is actually the easiest of the two. Some variation on Tab A goes into Slot B. That's about as complicated as it really gets. The emotion part, though, is really what makes the scene -- even PWP.

I don't have a penis. I couldn't tell you what it feels like to have balls. But if you set the emotion right - you can sell just about anything.

(And even if you don't - people will read anything... case in point this fic: Homecoming, which was written by me under a fake name and is utterly terrible Stucky porn because I wanted to prove the point that even bad smut in a popular fandom will get you more hits than a well researched and written fic in a small fandom. It's truly terrible guys. I hope you read it.)

2. What is the story you want to get across? Are you trying to unpack a lot of inner demons of your characters or do you just really want to see frottage because the two guys are super hot? Either way - know what you're looking for and what you want to get out of the scene.

Kind of like dancing - it's about choreography. So don't be afraid to kind of sketch out (even if it's in your mind) how you want it to play out. Is the scene trying to tell us something about the characters? If so what? Or are you just wanting them to reach an orgasm? And if so - how do you want that orgasm to be achieved?

3. This is going to sound a little silly, but I stand by it -- read more smut! What do you like about smut writers you enjoy? What makes it work for you? While I don't endorse plagiarism, you can study how they make scenes work, and extrapolate that into your own work.

4. Do some research! Not quite sure how things work? A little google search goes a long way!

Also, ngl, check out some porn! It's not at all realistic, but if you don't have a dude ready and available to help you out it's a way to visually see how things (can) work.

(I totally did this this morning - watched some gay porn, with a dude that looked similar to Chris Evans. It was weird, and I wasn't at all turned on. But I got what I needed since I'm lacking a dude who will is readily available to help me out with visuals.)

5. Don't be afraid to use your own experiences. Even if you've never had sex or an orgasm, I'm sure you know what it's like to feel an emotion towards another person. You can use that!

6. Fanfic sex (and most fictional sex in general) is not realistic, so don't put pressure on yourself to make it so. In real life things happen like -- you fart or your body won't bend the right way, or you go through three condoms before you're able to get one on before it rips or you slide off the bed because the sheets are too silky (this totally happened to a friend of mine, it was hilarious.) It's awkward and weird and not at all what fic, fiction, or the media makes it seem like it is. So don't worry too much about making it overly realistic.

7. Don't feel like you have to write every aspect of sex. If you want to fade to black - that's totally fine! if you want to focus on how one partner blows another, that's totally fine! You don't have to do everything in your scene. This goes back to the - what do you want out of the scene - thing, but don't feel like you have to cover everything to make it work.

8. Sometimes what you don't see can go a long way. You can have a sex scene that's completely dialogue and still be exactly what it needs to be. Don't be afraid to play around with sensuality or soft focus sexing ;)

Unasked for example:

"Oh, oh... a little more, Blaine, a little... oh, yes, right there."

"Fuuuck, Kurt you feel so good."

"I need... more. I need... Yes, yes... oh god... oh... Fuck, Blaine, fuck, fuck, fuck, oohh... oh god... oohh...."

"...."

"...."

"Mmmmm, I love you."

"Love you, too."

Could you see what happened in that scene? And I didn't even describe it to you ;)

9. A good beta goes a long way. Seriously, @snarkyhag is my god send, and makes sure Kurt and Blaine are doing things that are physically possible while using good grammar. ;) Especially when you're starting out, a trusty beta, who will tell you what works and what doesn't, can go a long way.

10. And last but not least, and this is perhaps the biggest thing -- practice. I was very scared to write my first smut (and honestly, I'm not a huge fan of it -- I think the sexy times in With Every Broken Bone are its weakest points, and my betas had to hold my hand through it.) One of the reasons I'm doing the Smut Challenge is to work on smut and see how it can be better.

So, write that first scene and let it be terrible. That's okay! The next one will be better.

Best of luck, Nonny! Please let me know if you decide to write it! <3

[the-darklings]

coa one year later & self-reflection

(*drags out a creaky metal chair and plops down on it heavily*)

Hi. It’s me, ya boi skinny--

Wait, wrong one. Do over.

Hi, it’s me, Kat, and I’m not dead. Clearly. Today being one year anniversary of COA has kinda put me in a reflective mood, so I guess I decided to sit down and just...talk about some things, thoughts and feelings I’ve been bottling inside for a hot sec. Especially given how radio silent I have gone on here and people deserve a bit of perspective. 

And before anyone starts worrying, it’s all good, and I’m still around and currently in good health for the most part. 

So, let’s take it back to the start. Regardless of how dramatic it may sound, we need to go back a year for that. 

By technicality alone, COA actually turned one year old on October 12th. That’s when the first part was posted. However, the reason I’m treating today as the aforementioned birthday is simple: I had no intention of this story ever being more than a short two-parter. I told this to the discord gang already but COA was only going to have two parts. V was going to die in Tokyo and the rest of the story follows glimpses of John throughout the movies and it’s her ghost that haunts him. Skipping ahead, it was going to have a bittersweet ending of John eventually dying, having completed his task, only to be greeted by V, Daisy and Helen in the afterlife. A peace of sorts. Then, I realised that, well, no. I have more to say on this world and intrigue about this placeholder character V kept growing. 

November 1st happened and I made a very last minute call to continue COA but with the added pressure of doing it during NaNoWriMo 2019. And boy did I. Most of the story was figured out during that very intense month. I posted Part 2 on this day a year ago because I was so eager to share it. Perhaps, in retrospect, a bit too eager. 

For those of you who may not know this, I work as a writer full time for my actual every day job. I’m the main writer for an original webcomic called In the Bleak Midwinter on Webtoon.com and have been for almost two years now. Getting what is essentially your dream job is amazing. I’m very lucky on that front but it also taught me stark realities of having your job and only hobby overlap. It’s a dangerous creative mix. Especially because I was not used to being constraint in what I create or the feeling like I have to please anyone else. Writing as a job is a whole other avenue of creative exhaustion. I love my job a lot and am very, very lucky to have it but it doesn’t change the fact that those initial stages made me fall back on COA a lot for creative freedom that I craved so desperately. To an unhealthy degree looking back on it now. 

But going back to November last year. NaNo time. I did it. Finished on the 24/25th I believe. A juicy final count of 52k+. All while maintaining a weekly update schedule for a fic that usually hit around 10k per update, if not more, even during those early days. Add writing an original story on top of that. Writing every day for hours on end (we are talking 10-12hr days) without any time for other hobbies or time for myself in general. I kept pushing and pushing and pushing. Losing weight and sleep in the process. I think the thing that convinced me that I should continue doing so is the fact that the outpour of support for COA ended up surpassing anything I ever expected or even dared to hope for. I’m not a huge numbers person but the outpour of love and just sheer investment in the story and characters blew me away. John Wick fandom is on the smaller side and has been going through downtime when I posted COA so my expectations were...well, small tbh. I like keeping expectations low to avoid any disappointments in general. But I���ve also always had an issue of being a massive 0 or 100 kind of person. If I love something, it consumes me. In this case, it brought me as much joy and freedom as much as it was steadily pushing me towards the ultimate crash. 

That being said, I can’t thank you all enough for every comment, like, reblog and message and fanart. You’re the reason I got this far. With your support. It brightened some really dark days for me.

But. 

To be frank, it’s never been about you guys. I never wrote or pushed because I felt like I had to appease anyone. That creative mindset is pure poison and I long since learned to let go of it. I kept pushing and kept working myself to the bone because I liked it. I liked how reading peoples’ responses made me feel. I liked the addictive nature of reading all the comments and theories after an update. I loved the idea of brightening peoples’ days and giving them something to cheer them up after what might have been a shitty day. Even if that was at expense of my own time/well being. But for a long time, it wasn’t. I love writing a lot but facts remain facts. 

It was beyond unhealthy and burnout wasn’t a question of if but when and that when was approaching at neck-breaking speed. 

So we come to the end of November. Part 4 has just come out. People were invested and I was invested alongside them. I was just finishing up Part 5 which (back then) was the biggest single chapter I’ve ever written and god I still recall my sheer dread because that was the beginning of Santino being established as a LI. Looking back on that now, it’s downright hilarious how worried I was about the reception of him and V together after John.

So honestly, I hit burnout at around Part 8. Because that’s the first time I recall struggling with writing a chapter. Part 8 came out on December 28th. I had a brief break for holidays. But my mistake was not taking longer back then. Because I continued writing with a barely healed burnout. Followed by almost a year of struggling and continuously creating through that state. It wasn’t like I eased off the pressure, either. Oh, no. The chapters grew in size, the world and the characters with it. AUs amassed quickly and while I adore every single one - again, I didn’t know how to pace myself well enough.

I’m spiteful though. The more the chapters struggled the more I pushed against the burnout. By the time Chicago arrived, however, I knew I was in trouble. I ended up writing 43k+ in a span of 2 months, I believe. And while to some it may not seem like a lot given the time frame, it’s a lot when you’re burnout to a crisp & writing an original story for work + deadlines. Which I was burned out and then some. Chicago was something I was looking forward to writing for months. I have built it up since Part 4. It was a long time coming. So while I’m still proud of it, I would be lying if I said that some scenes were not sacrificed for the sake of keeping to my invisible schedule that no one but me actually cared about. You guys have always been patient. I never felt pushed into anything. It’s always only ever been me doing the harm. 

Chicago was the downwards spiral for me mentally. I felt like I was failing to live up to my own expectations. That people were drifting away from it. I was plagued by the thought that the story I poured so much into was falling apart and growing weaker. Which this has always been an issue with me: I am my own harshest critic. Always have been. In fact, I’m a downright mean little fucker when it comes to just tearing at myself. I know writing is for fun - and it is - but I still like the idea of being proud of my work which only made everything worse despite the love each update received. 

This takes us to the beginning of June. Specifically, June the 2nd. Or, as I like to call it: Kat Makes Another Impulsive Decision but This One Actually Works Out For the Better. On this day, I created the COA Discord server. And damn, I’m not sure what exactly I was expecting when I did ngl. I did it for fun and as an escape more so than anything. But somehow it ended up being the best decision I made in a long while. I know some of you are reading this. So love you lots, dorks. It’s such a privilege to be able to call so many of you my friends even outside of COA now. That little community has given me some of the best memories from this year and helped me to crawl out of my own metaphorical pit I was stuck in. Mentally, I’m doing much better than I did beginning of this summer. Which could be summed up as a constant self-hatred cycle and a feeling of inadequacy. 

That, however, does not mean my burnout magically disappeared. If anything Chapter 17 just put a nail in the coffin so to speak. 2020 has been a shitty year just across the board for obvious reasons I don’t need to go into here but that can only partially be attributed to my mental state. Chapter 17 was...exhaustive. To say the least. But I was determined to stick with my vision and not split it up. I was also starting to be a bit more forgiving towards myself in terms of how long I may take to write it thanks to guys on discord though the feeling of failure and worry never quite faded fully. I’m proud of Part 17. Truly. But that was also when I hit rock bottom creatively on COA. It drained me completely. 

I tried writing Part 18 for weeks after, day in and day out, not getting past the first scene and hating every word I wrote. So I took a deep breath and stopped. Figured I let it marinate and wait instead of trying to piece one of the most crucial chapters in this story like some Frankenstein monster two sentences at the time.

So my solution was simple: give myself some distance from it and write other things. Get my spark back. Of course that’s always a good idea. Having multiple creative escapes is the best thing you can do for yourself creatively. There was just one tiny little problem. 

I was still burned out. Still am. The problem went deeper than just being burned out over COA. I was burned out over writing itself. 

Which is an issue for a person who only has writing as a creative outlet.

I don’t have any other way to express myself. So I was stuck in a runt, trying to write because it’s the only thing that makes me genuinely happy even when I really shouldn’t have. And let me tell you. It’s a shitty fucking feeling. My burnout worsened. I had a thousand ideas but every time I tried to get them down it felt forced, fragmented, and weak. Repetitive and dry. Now, this is also in part because English isn’t my native language, so my vocab is limited as a result, but I hit that sweet rock bottom in that regard, too. 

So, I worked on V (but in her OC form Clara), Lucien and The Elites. All those characters have grown so much since you last read about them. I have multiple original projects planned down the line that will feature all of them existing in their own world, with their own stories and no longer constrained by JW canon.  

Which, finally, takes us to the end of October and beginning of November 2020. 

I was convinced that the best course of action was to do NaNo again but with an original story this time (involving V). Suffice to say, it took a grand total of maybe 5-6 days and hating every second of writing it while also feeling like this project I’m so passionate and excited to write (still am) is just...going down the toilet to be blunt, to realise I may have made the wrong call. 

Still, the stubborn ass that I am, I pushed through. Convinced I can get into it if I just keep going. The realizations that I am sharing with you right now won’t have been possible if it hadn’t been for a rather curious turn of events about a week and a half ago.

I recently bought a gaming laptop, all in preparation for Cyberpunk 2077 dropping ofc. But, in the meantime, I kept recommending a game to a friend on the COA server. That game? Far Cry 5. (It’s a blast to play btw, just a side note.) And playing it brought back all the feelings of nostalgia from the days when I used to write for that fandom. So I revisited some old work. Checked the stuff I never published and that has been sitting ducks in my docs for months and hoo boy. Let me tell you it was a vibe check of the worst kind. 

The stark difference in the prose and the ease with which it flowed was...startling. It made me remember why I love writing so much and how proud I used to be of what I wrote back in the day. Which is not to say I’m not proud now, but it was just such a sharp dip in quality it was impossible to ignore.  

So I didn’t.  

I paused NaNo, moving it to another month. I paused writing for everything but work, which with our season coming to an end I will also get a rest from soon, too. I kinda paused in general. For the first time in a while, I finally forced myself to switch off. Rest. 

The reason why I haven’t been on here is simple: guilt and not having energy to be on here. I like making my blog a safe space for everyone. Similar to escape it has become for me. I couldn’t pretend I was fine when I wasn’t. I felt obliged to perform and being here became exhausting. I haven’t been checking my inbox. Haven’t done much of anything except occasionally dropping by and reblogging a random post so people know I’m alive.

And that’s that, folks. That’s where I am currently. Resting. Completely exhausted mentally but resting. Getting my energy back. 

So where does that leave us, huh? If you read this far, dunno what to tell you. Thanks, I suppose. It’s still odd to think people actually care about my existence sometimes.

I know what you’re likely thinking, too. So does this mean COA is never gonna be finished? What is gonna happen to it? Are you abandoning it?

The answer: no. 17 out of 25 chapters and 250k+ in, I’m too far in not to give it a proper conclusion. Not because I owe it to anyone other than myself. I want this story to be a stepping stone for my future as a writer. I want to prove to myself that I can get this done and finish it. As of right now (as you can no doubt tell with how long it’s been since last update) it’s on a soft hiatus while I rest. This rest? Not sure how long it may last. Right now, my plan is till mid December at which point I will reevaluate. Ideally, I finish the year with an update. But my New Year’s resolution is to finish COA. That timeline has become a little more murky now but, again, ideally it’s within the first quarter of 2021. Will that happen? I don’t know. And I don’t want to make false promises, either. 

All I’m saying is that it will be done. I’m just no longer sure how long, exactly, it may take me to reach that Epilogue. I don’t expect many people to stick around for however long it may take me, but if you do, thank you. Truly. I really and deeply mean that. 

So what’s on the cards for this blog in the meantime? Well, CP77 is coming out in under a month (if it doesn’t get moved again lmao rip) and I expect that to be my soft return to posting my writing on here again. We will see where the muse takes me, if at all. Regardless though, I’m excited. 

One doctorate thesis later, here we are at the end of this really long rambling session. I hope that this has given you some perspective on things going on behind the scenes. I spared you some of the gorier details but I think this post has been long overdue. I suppose I, myself, was just too unwilling to face these things despite knowing about them deep down for a while now. I’m too self-critical not to notice but acting on correcting this behavior has been a whole other matter clearly. 

Thank you for reading this post, my writing in general, and supporting me. I’m not going anywhere. I’m still around. More is on the way in the future. I’ll be seeing you all real soon. And all my love to all of you. 

Love,

- Kat.   

[kareofbears]

persona 5 strikers thoughts and feelings

This is going to be a long post. Like, the type of post you’d only really have time to read when you’re trying to sleep but you’re not ready to be unconscious yet so you’re just looking for something to do to spend your time with minimal effort. 

So in 2018, a masterpiece was born into the world: Into the Spider-verse was released and it was amazing—it’s honestly the best spiderman movie we have without a doubt, and it’ll be very far into the future before Spider-verse is beaten as the best spiderman movie. Them’s the facts. Then in 2019, Spider-man: Far From Home was dropped. It’s a great movie! Great characters, great continuation of who these characters are and works fantastic as a continuation of a story. It’s really hard trying to take the torch of a previous movie (or in Marvel’s case, juggling twenty something movies) and come up with a new movie that both works on its own, as well as being the next step in this series of films. Thus, with that idea in mind, I think it’s kind of unfair to judge into the spiderverse and far from home, because these are two movies with two completely different objectives in mind. 

Okay, so this is still a persona 5 strikers post, I promise, but the idea is the same: Persona 5 could basically do whatever it wanted—new story, new characters, new everything, and it’s just plain old awesome. However, Persona 5 strikers did not have that sort of freedom. It was bound to the original game, and it had its own rules and stuff it had to keep intact, characters they had to work with, and on top of that, it had to justify its existence as a sequel (lets pretend money doesnt exist lmfao). 

SO, the big question is: did it do that? Did it justify its existence? 

And my answer: holy fuck did it ever do that

I came into this game knowing the extreme bare minimum. I knew there was someone named Sophia, and i knew there was roadtrip, and i knew there were Personas. That’s my knowledge of it before i played it on the Switch.  I should also clarify like, early on, that i was not expecting anything from this game. At all. I was the world’s biggest cynic of this game—if you scroll down my p5s tag far enough, youll just see me complaining about a game that hasn’t even come out yet. I was fully expecting to have this be a Waifu show, and any male character that isn’t Akira to just be shoved aside like some kind of nerd in a high school hallway, and i have never been more pleased to be wrong. In fact, i actually owe it an apology, because of how fucking rude i was for no reason!!! Because this game deserves everything to be honest. 

Persona 5 strikers is, frankly, insane. Insane in the sense that it got to pull shit off that just would never have existed in the original game, because the original game is scared. It had to be as impressive as possible and garner as much attention as possible. Strikers does not have that problem—every single person who bought that game does not need to be convinced that persona 5 is a good game. They already played it. That means Atlus can just fuck around and have a good time, and man did they have a good time. There’s still scenes that still shock me if i think about it too hard, because i’m used to atlus having to follow this sort of rule set when it comes to persona 5 (or any of the main games im assuming, but i havent played them.) And on top of that, there’s still shit that’s Atlus Trademarked Branded in a good way. The style of story of story telling, and revealing the mystery that is so integral to what p5 is, is still there. 

So, to make this even a little bit comprehensible, i will make a list! 

First of all, What is this game?

In short, this game is an OVA of an anime. It’s bonus side content that has one thing in mind: to showcase these lovable characters more by putting them in fun situations. That’s it, and it is just phenomenal. That was the main point of, i’d say, like forty hours of the game. It’s just fun times with fun characters. 

But to get deeper of what i think is happening, or what they were thinking during the development, is that this is a second opportunity. Persona 5 (as we all know) had a lot of problems, and we were not quiet about those problems. We yelled it all out, made posts, made complaints on every social media platform ever. And Atlus heard all of them, and Strikers is a way to mitigate those mistakes. Aside from being a fun OVA, Strikers also works to be a deeper exploration of these characters—more specifically, the characters that did not receive much in the original game. Creating this sequel is having the ability to redo what they felt (or to be more specific, we felt) in the original game while adding new ones. I will get to that in a second.  

The format of the game 

Absolutely brilliant to throw them on a road trip. P5V already forced us to experience Shibuya for 200+ hours, and im so glad that they didn’t do that again. Going from town to town, making us experience these new places alongside our favorite characters is so good, and it just makes sense. It’s fun, it’s lighthearted, and it’s actually shockingly good. But one thing i do want to talk about early on is the way the story unfolds and the villains that they use, and what they do with it because it’s very interesting. 

So as we explore japan and stuff, we encounter jails, and with those jails comes an antagonist. This antagonist works to be a parallel to one of our characters. That character will find it in their hearts to feel bad for the antagonist, because the antagonist could have been them had the original game not happen. At first I thought all of the thieves were gonna get an antagonist, and i was really hyped for the ryuji one. And then came to hour forty of the game where i realized “yeah that’s not gonna happen. There’s just not enough time.” And i was right, and the game ended. But i am not salty at all, honestly, because the people who got a direct antagonist were: Ann, Yusuke, and Haru. (we wont count zen and sophie). 

Is there a trend??? Yes. these are all characters in the original game that have received the worst treatment by atlus. The three of them are basically cast aside the minute they finished their original arc, and its horrible! BUT that’s why this is the path that atlus chose for them—to give them more depth, and screentime, and a way to show their inner self. That isn’t to say that the ones who aren’t those three (makoto, futaba, mona, akira, ryuji) didn’t get anything. Futaba still has her thing at the end with ichinose, and she was very prevalent and animated during the rest of the game. Mona and Akira have to be a focal points, that’s just the nature of the game. The other two though, I will talk about in depth in a second.  

Makoto

Y’all i poke fun at shumako fans sometimes cause its kind of easy and fun, but i honestly love makoto. In my very first playthrough of p5 (my first ever jrpg game, first persona game, i had no idea what i was doing), i had only maxed out two characters: ryuji and makoto. And i know she had a lot of screentime and love in the original game which is great, but i truly felt like she was dissed in this game. Her only roles were

A driver

Someone to tell them “we don’t have a choice. Let’s keep going and see where this takes us.” (seriously, if you replay this game, you will see how much she does this)

Idk, i just wish she had more to do, especially compared to how much love they gave the other characters. 

But let’s talk about some of the new characters! 

Zenkichi

Damn you atlus. Damn you and your insistence at bringing in cop characters. I was fully on board with hating zenkichi, i was fucking ready for it. I was convinced that there was nothing they could do convince to like zenkichi. I was immune to their copaganda. 

And then i ended up loving him, which makes me sad a little bit. I didn’t realize how desperate i was to have an adult who has a persona. Someone who wants the world to change just as much as they do, while still having that aspect of them that makes them adult. Like??? As someone who is technically an adult, its a breath of fresh air. An adult. Who fights. For justice. Using a persona. And god i love akane so much, and her obsession with the thieves (that scene is probably in my top ten fave scenes of the game). Also what i loved about zenkichi is that he fucking hates the cops!! He hates the system of the cops!! And thats why i actually really started to love him!! Because i thought it was atlus saying that the systematic problem of the police cannot be solved by one person, and zenkichi threw away his badge. I actually cried at that part!! 

But then he became a cop again, and i was just :/ but as a character, i really love him to bits and would love to do a study on him, or at least use him as an outside pov. But! i absolutely love his persona, since im a les miserables fan hehe

Sophia 

she’s probably my favorite new aspect of the game. I was ready to not like her—again, i just suck like that, lmfao—and when i saw her, i was scared that she was just another waifu. I mean, she was very cute after all. But then as the game went on, i thought she was a little too cute. And even further into the game, i finally slapped myself in the face and realized oh my god shes not a waifu. Shes a sister. 

That blew my mind, im ngl to you. A female character that isn’t supposed to be romanced? By jove, what a miracle! 

And she…is an amazing character. Im sorry, i just love her so much. I love her so much that she  probably ranks as my fifth or sixth favorite character which is surprising even to me. Everything about her is delightful and invigorating. She’s funny??? Her comedic timing is amazing, and she has such chemistry with the rest of the team. She’s actually useful to the plot, and while her character design is a little too on the nose for me in terms of cuteness (i mean, good god she’s wearing oversized sweater to show how cute and tiny she is, and her hair has literal hearts in it), she is absolutely lovable. 

But what i actually really wanna gush about for a second is sophia at the last stage of the game. You get the idea, i dont really like to get excited over things, so at this point i figured that there was nothing this game could do to shock me. 

And then sophia had a persona awakening. 

Like. holy fuck did i yell. I didnt realize what was happening until the music had already kicked in. and its just so fucking smart!!! Sophia??? The ai?? With no heart?? gOT A PERSONA???? AWAKENING??? BECAUSE SHE LEARNED WHAT THE HEART IS AND THE PASSION THAT YOU NEED IN ORDER TO GET A PERSONA??? I started crying honestly, because it was just so smart. And looking back on it now, its obvious!! Of course it would lead to this, it only made sense that the culmination of her character arc leads to her getting a persona, nothing else would have been as good. Also, her voice actor is just amazing?? When she was talking to ichinose at the end, i actually got incredibly emotional because of the line reads. Its just so spot on and it really captures the essence of sophia.

Muah. five stars Atlus. You got me. 

Ryuji <3!!!!

Oh man. Oh boy. Okay. so where do i start. 

Yall know i love him. Hes probably my favorite fictional male character of all time, and he is the one i was the absolute most cynical about in this game. I was expecting literally nothing. Nothing. Like. nothing. I thought he was just gonna keep being used as a joke, or a gag, and he’s gonna be super horny all the time for the other girls and it was gonna make me mad and there was gonna be some insane homophobic/queerphobic jokes in every other scene and i know i was being unfair, but i cant help it. 

And then i played the first two hours of the game, and i cried the entire time. Because ryuji has never been better than he is in this game. Its crazy. 

The ryuji in persona 5 strikers is who ryuji should have been/how he should have been treated this entire time. From the actual funny jokes (for example, the gold bar joke + his reaction to it in the beginning of the game), defending his female friends instead of being the one people need to defend from (natsume arc), and the fact that he was the one to be there with morgana and akira in the very beginning of the game. Its such a small thing that they didnt even need to do, but it was such an integral part of the original game for me, that i just was convinced that nothing like this was going to happen. But then it happened. Its just small stuff like that that could have been overlooked but it wasn’t because this game? Persona 5 strikers? Fucking loves ryuji. 

The actual respect they gave this boy is insane and i wasn't ready for it. Like, they gave the shujin trio lunch, they gave the little charm of the katana when they were in natsume’s jail, and, in my opinion this is the second-best thing that they could have given ryuji is sophia. Ryuji and sophia are the pinnacle of a brother & sister bonding relationship in the game that isn’t akira & futaba. And its really prevalent too?? Small stuff from the beginning of the game (pulling her out of a jail, calling her shorty), but then you have the iconic “shut the fuck up” scene, and that scene was so well characterized and written and voice acted, that somehow him saying “fuck” was the least exciting part of that scene to me. Ryuji is an older brother to her, like its undoubtable, and its only further cemented at the end of the game where Ryuji helps out ichinose because he knows how much sophia cares about her. This game. Love ryuji. And i love. This game. 

You know what else i love? Akiryu. 

Guys. i was fully prepared to starve in terms of akiryu. But theres just. So much of it. I wont get too deep into it, because i think this aspect of the game for me still needs marinate a little bit. Like, what was that last shot when EMMA died and Ryuji walked to approach Akira so they could relish in their victory together?? And the smile from both of them??? What the fuck. That was amazing. Also Joker being saved by Ryuji when he was about to fall from the cliff to save sophia??? WHAT. The LEADER AND HIS RIGHT HAND MAN? WHAT. anyway. If theres anything i want to keep for myself in my own brain, its the akiryu aspect of this game, so i wont talk too much about that part of things (instead, itll probably manifest in fic lmfaooo). 

Sure, there’s tidbits of stuff i dont like that they gave ryuji: sexualizing ann in that one cut scene and making him touch the jails even though it hurts, and i recognize those and frown at them, but for the most part, i am blown away with how they treated him.

Basically, Ryuji has never been better. From the opening of the game with him being the first text message and the one to sling his arm around akira, to the very last cut scene where it was ryuji wordlessly leaving because he’s so confident that they would never be separated for long, this game adores Ryuji and i am so so happy to say that.

The Royal aspect of things

Yeah, i had to talk about this, but itll be a short thing i just wanted to point out. Because the last part of this game...is persona 5 royal. Which is curious. Like taking reality and giving that power to someone else so you dont have to experience suffering anymore? And even like, the final section just looked a lot like the top half of maruki’s palace?? And whats even crazier is that we had a boss fight with sophia, just like how we had a boss fight with sumire? Royal and Strikers have like, the same thesis statement. It’s kind of uncanny.It’s interesting, it’s like atlus came up with these two ideas, and then just decided they liked both of them so much that they just did it twice. I don’t mind though—actually, in terms of how the last Palace/Jails go, i probably like them both about equally. 

Though i did love the final battle in this one more than i did in royal. Splitting into teams?? Thats cool as fuck, and really innovative and i didnt see it coming. It also kicked my ass. A lot. 

Now for the last stretch: the small stuff!

The music — bomb as fuck. In my heart, Daredevil is ranked the same as Rivers. Axe to grind is also amazing, but Daredevil owns me

Akechi — i really debated whether or not to talk about him, but i figured a bullet point should be enough. Im really shocked that he wasnt in this at all. Like not even a name drop. If this is an OVA, and the point of the game is to please the fans, and akechi is arguably the fan favorite character, i was really ready for something. But there was nothing, except for the pancake hallway if that even counts as a reference. Thats it. Thats all i wanted to say about him.

The humour — FUCKING HILARIOUS im convinced that in my fifty hour playtime, five of that is dedicated to me laughing and unable to continue the game 

Akira — so much personality! His lines of dialogue are crazy sometimes (like. Whats up with him saying Ryuji has ‘nice abs’ when they were in bath? Im crazy and even i dont know what the fuck that could mean) 

Battle system — oh my god i almost forgot to talk about this. I love it! I kind of miss the turn based aspect just because i found it very comforting for some reason, but this hack and slash style of gameplay is so invigorating because i do feel like it justifies shit like the baton pass and huge attacks.  This battle system fully encompases how the Phantom Thieves are supposed to fight, you know what i mean?

Anyway, thats my thoughts on strikers. Loved it. Amazing. 9.3/10, wouldve been higher but Konoe’s Jail almost bored me to death. Also im a monster and i didnt do any requests that isn’t a fun one, teehee. As if i play persona 5 for the persona aspect of things.

[lady-tortilla-chip]

Hi there! I just want to say first that I love your blog. And second, I saw your post today about Sokka (and Zuko to some extent) being mischaracterized by fandom. In what ways, in your opinion, are they mischaracterized? I’m still pretty new to the fandom and learning it’s ways and pitfalls.

Hi!!! Omg thank you!! 🥺💖 I’m glad you enjoy my blog!

Ok ngl this is something I’ve been itchin to talk about a bit so thank you for giving me an excuse to! My biggest issue with their characterizations is that both Sokka and Zuko seem to lose their depth.

Fanon Zuko often comes off to me as too soft, his entire personality is muted like people forget all his hard edges (I also genuinely don’t enjoy the amount of “haha I wanna die” zuko posts like just...no). Then fanon Sokka is regularly reduced to being highly self conscious (and also he miraculously seems dumber in fanon as well, I say “miraculously” because the fandom regularly likes to bring up how smart he is).

Both of these characterizations aren’t exactly wrong, however these characterizations are 1) facets of their individual personalities and 2) mostly specific to the boiling rock eps and aren’t either character’s norm throughout the show.

Zuko purposely keeps a hold of himself and quiets himself to gain Sokka’s approval in those eps. Then Sokka has his moments of being extremely self conscious. Him being self conscious in those eps specifically had everything to do with the failed invasion. The fact that so many people put their faith in his plan only for it to blow up in their faces is the reason he feels so defeated in those eps. That’s not a constant for him, he’s not always eaten by insecurity. In fact it’s not a constant for any of them even though everyone in the Gaang have moments like that.

And because both of them are perceived this way their separate development in that ep is pretty much ignored.

As I said in the replies of that post, I feel that by using their behaviors in those eps as a baseline for how they ALWAYS act is a complete disregard of their general characterizations throughout the show. Of course this is probably more a “me” thing, but yeah these are my long winded thoughts. 😅

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 12/14 NXT 12/16 NXT UK 12/17 Smackdown 12/18 TLC 12/20 + Main Event 12/17

Raw:

“This Sunday at tlc, it’s gonna be you and me against Nia and Shayna,” Lana says to Asuka, as a quiet ‘woo’ can be heard in the distance.

Lana facing her fears and fighting Nia Jax makes her the bravest person Asuka knows. Rolling. Fucking Asuka. ASUKA. wwe, stop.

Why isn’t Asuka accompanying Lana to the ring?

I like Lana’s gear.

Joe just compared Lana to a mosquito, goodbye.

Oh snap look how fast Lana did that headscissors takedown. We’re witnessing her progression, ladies and gents.

You know, I knew Lana would win this match, I knew exactly how she would win this match, but jfc what a treat watching it myself. 

Nia’s face lmfao.

Shayna wrecking Asuka so she can’t save Lana from her inevitable fate. Still curious on whether or not this beatdown injured her, if she was injured going into the match, or if it was all really just a storyline.

Yikes this is sad.

Man that leg drop onto Lana’s ankle actually looked kinda wicked, ngl.

*distant woo intensifies*

Wow we got real tears from Lana. Points.

Becky and Charlotte have been gone, Alexa hasn’t been on tv, the Raw women’s championship has become a meaningless prop... what a dead period for this roster.

Hi why is this match happening?

I will never not be impressed by Dana’s entrance.

Is Mandy actually hurt? Why did they take her off tv for so long? Is Shayna the resident kayfabe shelver? “Hey this girl is actually injured, have her written off by Shayna” ?? Cuz I know they’re not splitting Dana and Mandy up, and Dana has been on tv every week since Mandy left. Must be genuine.

These 2 are running roughshod over the entire division at this point.

OH SHIT MANDY’S BACK WITH A KENDO STICK

Lmfao the babyfaces are fucking done with Nia and Shayna. Honestly that’s great, I love it when babyfaces band together to stand up to dominant duos. This has been going on long enough. They took out Mandy, took out Lana, were about to take out Dana. Totally fair.

Highlight: Lana getting a clean win over Nia & being taken out so my queen can return

---

NXT:

It’s a funny thing with Toni and Rhea. Toni says she’s the reason Rhea came to nxt, but she’s also the reason I became such a huge fan of Rhea’s. Heard they were having some big TakeOver match and everyone was always praising Toni. So I checked into Blackpool solely to see what the Toni Storm fuss was about, and I left that ppv solely impressed by Rhea Ripley. Then I took particular notice of Rhea in the Royal Rumble a few weeks later, and I’ve been watching NXT UK for her ever since (til she moved). To see her growth has been tremendous, and she’s so young. Such a bright future.

The music to this is great.

Toni says she isn’t scared of Rhea, as if Rhea’s mere theme music didn’t scare the absolute shit out of Toni the week prior lol.

Toni’s not even a terrible promo, but the timing of her blinks could not be worse. Yes, it matters.

I can’t stop laughing at how fucking intensely Shotzi started this interview.

She does pissed off interviews well. I can feel her annoyance.

Really don’t want to see a Candice/Shotzi feud tbh but okay, I’ll try.

aaand there’s the howl. Awful.

Lmfao Rhea called Toni a piece of trash. This is gonna be interesting to see with the alignments reversed.

I don’t remember who won this match, but I’m betting it was Toni. Which is fair tbh. Rhea is probably on the “put some peeps over before moving up to the main roster” path that everyone in the women’s division walks on. They always eat at least one monumental, or a couple meaningful, loss(es).

Oh man that is fucked up. To not only be forced to continue punching/kicking a human (fun fact: the person on the offense takes quite the damage doing so) but to have the defenseless victim bleed out and beg for you to stop. That’s rough.

This was shot really well. That music holy shit, I’m creeped out. It’s like a horror movie.

I see the point. Numbs him to pain and breaks his will, while numbing her to mercy. Ruthless stuff.

Oh are we finally done with Indi’s neck brace? Cool.

I can’t believe wwe invested in this upgraded tank. I still don’t think it’d work on the MR, but points to the boss for shelling out the cash.

Wtf was that stumble and “fall” by Indi lmao.

If Candice was a real bully, she’d distract Shotzi by fucking with her tank at ringside.

Indi does need a mentor, she’s a hell of a lot greener than my mutuals have made it sound. oof.

Shotzi looks like she has no idea how to work with Indi, and Indi looks gassed, confused, and slow as hell.

All Indi knows it going from spot to spot while Shotzi waits around for her to get there.

Lol Indi failed at getting a dirty win. I don’t really care if this is a part of her The Way storyline, what a mess.

The only redeeming part of this piss poor segment was Theory shaking the troll’s head at Shotzi.

I’ll give wwe an extra $9.99 if they let this match have a clean ending.

“[Rhea] was at one point the biggest superstar in the world,” that isn’t even close to being true because Becky Lynch exists, but I’ll let it slide and pretend you said “in nxt”.

Their paths will be so similar to Becky and Charlotte in the future.

Wow what a sequence. That would’ve received an applause on the MR. Traded headlocks for restholds, threw around their strength, then went into a battle of pinfall reversals. Instead of following that with some stalemate, they didn’t take a breath and proceeded to dance with each other and showcase some chemistry before rolling back into a battle of pinfall reversals. The sequence started with a kick by Toni to Rhea’s midsection, and it ends with a kick by Rhea to Toni’s midsection. Peep that match production, good stuff.

My, my, those slaps to Toni’s back. Whew.

Yeah actually it’s really fucking cool that these 2 get to main event nxt together, come to think of it.

They sell well for each other.

Rhea has the best dropkicks, lesbireal.

Holy shit Toni’s headbutts make my own head hurt. God I wish she wouldn’t. Most people put their hands between the heads so no contact can be made, but Toni’s just like “lol fuck it”

This is a great match. This duo works a lot better with these specific alignments. Watching face Toni try to chop down Rhea is not as good as heel Toni being impossibly hard for Rhea to put away.

Women’s matches and never having a clean ending. Name a more iconic duo. Winter of overbooked women’s matches continues.

Like I had guessed Toni was gonna win anyway, but fucking come on.

*Bonus* online exclusive: Toni says playing by the rules got her diddly and squat, but like... she was a champion lol. “It ain’t even Toni time right now, it’s party time.” Alright.

Highlight: Rhea vs Toni minus the ending

---

NXT UK:

I don’t know why we’re getting Isla Dawn vs KLR but anytime I get to see KLR fight, I’m here for it.

Hell even Isla’s song never kicks it out of first gear. Song has so much potential but it never goes to the next level.

Ahhhh my Scottish queen is here.

No, don’t compare Sasha’s basement meteora to the double knees Isla did. That was pitiful.

Anyway, KLR vs any of the 4hw would be fantastic, take my money. Sasha, Bayley, Charlotte, or the woman KLR wanted to face at TO Dublin, Dublin native Becky Lynch.

That back body drop is horrendous as a finisher. It’s like when Becky won her debut match the exploder suplex. Awful lmao. Imagine if KLR lost to a back body drop ffs.

You don’t get to be this frustrated for not being able to beat the champion when you’ve only been fighting for like 3 mins.

Isla’s pisspoor speed going in the corner, and her pisspoor roll off of KLR’s tornado ddt. Shame.

Such a clean transition from a failed pinfall attempt into a submission by KLR, whew.

This whole match was just a flex by KLR lmao.

There was a time where we had Becky Lynch, Bayley, Rhea Ripley and KLR as our champions. Wow, take me back plz.

The background music of this stupid recording is so unnecessarily dramatic, wow.

All for the delivery of a chair. Of a fucking chair. Piper... shut up and handle your shit.

For someone so much larger than the little man, Piper is insanely unintimidating.

Highlight: I got to see KLR wrestle

---

Smackdown:

Bayley does run her mouth a lot. She’s kind of the EST at saying dumb shit that gets her into trouble lmao.

Bianca is so friggin good at interviews and in backstage segments. She hasn’t received much of a chance to do promos in the ring, let alone obviously to a live crowd, but I hope she shines there, too.

Has Liv reverted back to being a dumb blonde, or is it drugs? Stop letting her speak.

Love Riott Squad’s everchanging gear. Wonder who makes it for them.

Billie Kay claims that she’s a ‘seasoned’ ring announcer, and somehow that would not surprise me.

Tamina “get the fuck out of my face until I get a nap and a vat of coffee” Snuka, everyone.

Lmfaooo Tamina fucking chucked Liv across the damn ring. What a good job by Liv.

Ruby is exceptional at running the ropes. She gets a good spring off of it.

Tamina’s hair is always so beautiful, she gets points there.

Dropkick into a faceplant. Billie Kay gets pinned rofl. She’s so bad at wrestling and yet here I am ridiculously entertained.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Carmella’s current persona, but man I wish she’d come out in a cut off tank top, camo pants, high tops and a printed hat.

I mean people are at home cuz covid, but go off.

Aye putting over Sasha. Good heel Mella.

Sasha has held the title for like a whopping 2 months and we’re already marking calendars. Sad.

In kf, Sasha is kind of mentally weak, so I’ll give Mella that. I’m not sure what it’s gonna take to shake that perception, either.

“Who is Sasha Banks if she’s not the Boss? Who is Sasha Banks if she’s not the best? It’s sad because that’s a question that not even Sasha Banks knows the answer too.” So I get that wwe are trying to help Sasha develop and fight off her past demons, but man these women are ripping her a new one. Sasha’s only 29 so she can grow and develop however she wants, but jeeze. Salt, meet the dagger Bayley stuck in Sasha’s back.

I like Mella cuz she knows how to hype her opponent’s accolades and strengths while cutting an immaculate heel promo where she hits them RIGHT where it hurts. She’s a pro. Heels should take notes.

This music is like the Jazz Vibes playlist I always listen to.

She just called Sasha cheap and frantic lmaoooo

Oh damn Sasha be out here looking like MONEY. That girl has style, even if it doesn’t always hit with me, she got style.

oof the crack of that slap to Reggie.

OOF the crack of the bottle shattering over Sasha’s poor back. rip.

Match at TLC should’ve been a champagne match. That entails whatever your mind comes up with; pouring alcohol on your opponent, dumping their head in a bucket of ice, breaking bottles over spines. It don’t matter.

“You don’t see me going around here bragging about how damn good I am,” lmao WHAT. Bayley is equal parts delusional and obnoxiously annoying.

One size heel does not fit all, but I think her version suits her beautifully.

If I were her I’d pick your brain too, but I’d also want a match, cuz people leave matches with you looking as good as humanly possible. Equal parts selfless as well.

She didn’t lie, this was absolutely her putting Bianca on the map on the main roster.

wwe: wants to strap a rocket to Bianca and make her a star. Also fucking wwe: “lol no we’re not gonna show you her full entrance, cry more scrub.” 

Bayley still looks weird without a title.

Bayley mocks Bianca’s entrance and then gets swept onto the apron lmao. Idiot.

Bianca is a lot of flash and showboating, which is great from an entertainment standpoint, but she needs to do a little... less.

Fantastic snap of the hand against the led board. Bayley wrecking Bianca’s arm gonna hinder the flips.

“I’m the ER. I’m BET-TER. haha.” lmao Bayley is such a fucking dork. Got sent into the ring steps for her bravado. Love that there’s always immediate repercussions for Bayley’s arrogance.

Bayley turned midway going down onto Bianca’s knee for that backbreaker, there. Hope she doesn’t have a massive bruise. Looked like it’d leave a massive bruise.

3 things I’ll apparently never get to see again: Bianca’s hair whip, Bianca’s full entrance, and Bianca’s 450 splash. I’m tired.

These stupid fucking squats while Bianca is dangling off the top rope rofl I swear Bayley is something else. Girl knows how to entertain. “Bayley got a bit cute and Bianca made her pay,” story of Bayley’s life.

Beautiful spinebuster by Bianca. At least SOMEONE in the women’s division will use it.

Bit of a miscommunication there it seems. Bayley goes for a B2B, Bianca tries to block it, Bayley drops down to dodge and go for a cradle. She rolls Bianca all the way back, stands up and hesitates before running at Bianca with an elbow - even though Bianca is not in position to receive it - which Bianca counters by rolling Bayley up, but it was super obvious Bianca was just scouting the next spot. Bianca goes to pick her up for a powerbomb but Bayley has to kick out twice to prevent herself from being pinned while Bianca tries to lift her. That entire sequence was super messy.

Then Bianca nearly drops her lifting her all the way up lol. Yikes. Gotta be pretty fluent to pull that off. Not to plug my fav (but I’m totally gonna plug my fav); it’s a move Charlotte does in almost every match against Asuka or Becky, and you gotta be not only built to pull it off, but you need to have impeccable timing to make the transition look smooth. Extra points if you lift them off the mat RIGHT before a 3 (which Charlotte usually does)

Anyway, good match with a messy last 2 sequences. Bayley did what Bayley does best.

Highlight: Bayley vs Bianca

---

TLC:

They really took Eva Marie and Sasha Banks’ characters and meshed them together while keeping Carmella’s obsession for animal print lol.

Really don’t like that gear. That’s a miss, Mikaze.

Beautiful arm drag. Sasha taking the idea of wrestling like a Lucha more seriously? Cuz she should, ain’t nobody else in the MR doing it.

Commentators say the trash talk is continuing, I say Sasha is quietly leading this match with a grimace. Peeped that “hit me”.

Carmella goes to suicide dive through the ropes just for Reggie to catch her, cept she got caught up and started turning in midair. Would’ve hit her neck and shoulder HARD had he not been there. Great catch indeed.

Sasha “rip my back” Banks.

Not to be douchey, but if you have to adjust your gear in the middle of a match and it’s not just to fill time or be used as character work, then you need to redesign your gear.

Sasha’s a great babyface once that bell rings man. I wish she could carry that energy everywhere.

Holy fuck that facebuster. SPIKED her head, oh my god. I have never seen anyone make a facebuster look so impactful. Points if intentional.

Oh the timing of Sasha blocking that superkick from legit connecting. God she’s good.

You know how I know this is a good match? I’m watching some of these near pinfalls and submissions knowing damn well Sasha’s gonna win, yet my anxiety is still spiking thinking Carmella might walk out with the title. I KNOW she doesn’t though lmao. Good sequences, believable offense, great near pinfalls. They work well together (I’m not surprised, Mella and Sasha both work well with almost anyone)

What a fantastic transition into the bank statement. Points.

That match should’ve ended by dq the second Reggie pulled Mella out. 

Sasha could’ve sold that double superkick pinfall attempt a little bit more.

Carmella having a breakdown. What does that mean? That means she’s about to lose this match lmao. There it is, not even 10 seconds later hahaha.

Sasha sells pain so damn well. Good for her. Good defense of her title. Points to Sasha, she’s phenomenal every time she has an actual match. Post-match and she’s already annoyed me though lol. Ugh. Maybe she’ll get it soon enough.

Nice “replay” wwe. Billion dollar company btw.

Billie, drawing a horizontal line is not how you write ‘clairvoyant’. 

“proficient in Japanese” aw Asuka was so excited for a split second lmao.

Oh no, she made a mask to match Asuka’s with a paper plate. Oh no no no. Travesty. 

Ugh I’m so excited. I’ve already seen this and yet I’m excited. Here we are, the whole damn reason I started catching up on everything I basically refused to watch since June 22.

SHE LOOKS LIKE MONEY, WHEW. The queen IS back. She’s so fucking beautiful man.

Love how annoyed Nia looks. This is your comeuppance tbh. Could’ve just faced a measly Lana, but no, you had to play too much.

Really Charlotte shouldn’t be in the tag division, and really she shouldn’t give half of a fuck about Asuka, but we’ll get to that more in the future since this is already nearly 2 months old.

Nia’s doing a great job selling Charlotte’s return, and she’s not even active in the match rn. She does good work.

Bad camera angle on Asuka hitting the ring post.

Asuka getting wrecked lol.

I really despise that the Raw women’s championship was tied up in all of these storylines that have nothing to do with the Raw women’s championship. The Lana crap, the Charlotte crap, the tag teaming in general crap.

In hindsight, I now find it curious that Ric Flair was in the back for this match. Very curious. I swear, if the past 2 real time months weren’t a part of some master plan the Flairs came up with together, I will be SHOCKED.

Charlotte’s fucking crazy for doing those moonsaults to the outside though, for real. I know she was a gymnast and an exceptional cheerleader, but MAN you could not pay me to do fucking blind back flips that high up. Crazy.

She should’ve given us a spear in this match. I wanna go rewatch her work just to see some spears.

Good match. They needed to not focus on destroying Asuka for as long as they did, pacing was off for a little bit there.

Love how Charlotte sticks her tongue out when she bridges up into the figure 8. She’s such an asshole lmao.

If I could’ve changed one thing about that finish, I would’ve had Charlotte bounce off the ropes before hitting Natural Selection. Other than that, it was great.

Charlotte looks good with a title, idk *shrug*

The way Charlotte looked over at Asuka though. I really don’t trust her in hindsight lol.

Like how this Firefly Funhouse is setting the spotlight on Alexa before Bray takes his leave of absence, only wish she hadn’t missed 2-3 wks of tv.

What a fun way of running a video package.

Inferno matches are insane and I’m not sure why anyone would participate in such.

Think it’s smart they’re both leaving their jackets on tbh.

Alright that was cool. The way Fiend called up the flames was fucking cool. It looks amazing aesthetically. They could’ve never done the set quite like this if there had been fans.

WE HAVE STRAPS?! IS FIRE NOT ENOUGH?!? Man. Randy is a fucking trooper.

Guys. Guys excuse me, that strap is on fire, can... can we not, please??

Man is swinging a god damn pick axe at Randy Orton, I--

I hope that wasn’t actually flammable liquid cuz otherwise Randy is now soaked in it, and that’s insanely dangerous. Oh that’s great editing. So it was flammable, but Randy was out of the chair before the fire rushed at him. Also covered the chair in blood. That was cool.

Orton just pull the damn string out of the jacket real quick lol.

Caught Orton’s attempt at an rko with a mandable claw. Points.

Can someone... put him out? Editing trick? Were the flames real? Am I real??

Shouldn’t the bell ring? Match is over, right??

The dummy was kind of obvious ngl. Not to sound like an asshole, but they should’ve made it a bit thicker and more solid lol. Doesn’t really take me out of it though, cuz even though I’m sure it was a stunt double that got lit on fire by the ramp, someone was on fucking fire, and that’s intimidating in itself.

Also the dummy is melting. I’d say they should’ve used pig meat, but I’m sure vegans and animal rights activists would’ve had a field day writing to Snickers about that.

Was a good match, for what it was. I was entertained.

---

*BONUS*

Main Event:

“Nasty Nikki” lol okay.

“The only reason people even know you exist is because you were Alexa Bliss’ best friend,” ouch. Truth is pain.

Ahahahah Lacey has hand sanitizer again. 

Love that submission Lacey jumped into through the ropes, plus an eye rake. Fantastic.

That’s curious. Lacey and Peyton are arguing over the hand sanitizer as Lacey wants to squirt it on Nikki, while Peyton is claiming it’ll get her DQd. Now I’m on Peyton’s side in the sense that it should absolutely be illegal, but Lacey’s done it in a match against Nikki before, sooo ???

I like how Nikki fell trying to get back into the ring before the 10 count. Adds credibility.

Haha Nikki gets the pinfall over Lacey because Peyton was being a nuisance on the outside. Lacey big mad. That’s great.

---

*Smackdown easily shined the brightest in what was a great week of wrestling. Utilized 8 women in 3 different storylines, couldn’t possibly complain about that.

[theshinsun]

A-Z for honesty hour because I'm an asshole. :D

A - If I’m in love.

...yes. I never thought I would be again, I thought I’d been too hurt and jaded to feel this way again, but against all odds, I’m back to being 17 in full force.

B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was.

The only one who ever calls me is my mother. And customers at work.

C - How long it’s been since I’ve kissed.

damn, almost a year now… not since my last relationship ended back in October-ish. even then, it was mostly casual pecks idk if we ever seriously made out tbh.

D - If I have a preference for boys or girls.

already answered (twice) but I'll keep going… I've got a definite preference of guys over girls, but I'm also a bi disaster and sometimes it doesn't make a lot of sense why this person is instantly attractive to me while that person isn't. certain aspects of femininity do appeal to me, but weirdly other aspects seem to be a turn-off and I can't always put my finger on what or why. ...that caveat does not apply to masculinity though, even if it's traditionally "masculine" features on a feminine-presenting individual I am 100% down every time.

E - How many holes I have in my ears.

two and a half? I got a third piercing at some point halfway up the lobe but it got infected and scarred over I think. the holes I do have are also stretched (I'm up to 0G now) and I've been meaning to get some more.

F - Give me any options, like ‘hot or cold?’

wasn't given any options, so I guess I'll go with hot or cold lol. I prefer hot, I'm one of those weirdos who loves summer because of the heat and I'll usually take a hot food/drink over a cold one.

G - The last person I said ‘I love you’ to.

my mom, over the phone just now.

H - The last person I hugged.

my roommate. we're not always super touchy-feely with each other but I've been feeling kind of down and she noticed.

I - The last time I felt jealous, and why.

I'm not usually a very jealous person, but the last time I really felt that way… I'd recently broken up with my ex, and they were sitting on someone else's lap and I… felt things. part of the reason I realized I may have made a mistake.

J - Are you insecure. What about?

K - What my full name is

already answered, my first and middle are Jacob Brooks, I'm not putting my last name out there sorry I don't trust like that.

L - If I have siblings.

already answered, I've got two, an older brother and a younger sister.

M - If I forgive betrayal.

I mean, I forgive but I don't forget, ya know? like I'll accept an apology if it's sincere and welcome the person back and never bring it up again, but I'm probably gonna be cautious around them in the future, and not trust them as readily as I would have before.  

N - If you want to know how I treat my friends.

if I call someone my friend it means I really feel close with them, and I treat my friends basically like my family. I try to always be honest and supportive of them, bc I love and appreciate them and just want them to be happy. 

O - If I like my school.

I love my school. the campus is beautiful, the teachers are fantastic, and I just love being there and learning and growing in my classes. I'm really sad this semester is probably going to be mostly online because I really feel like I belong in those studios and on that campus and I miss it.

P - What kind of music I like.

already answered, and it mostly boiled down to all over the fuckin place, so this time… band recommendations, here we go. no you have no say in this.

here, have a clump of random favorite bands off the top of my head: mother mother, bad suns, nothing but thieves, hozier, shearwater, the neighbourhood, steam powered giraffe, rainbow kitten surprise, the oh hellos, gregory alan isakov, caravan palace, mystery skulls, khai dreams, autoheart, muse, silversun pickups, thousand foot krutch, two door cinema club, twenty one pilots, blue october, jukebox the ghost

Q - What the last party I went to was, and when the next will be.

I'm not a partier at All, but I did have a bunch of friends over for the 4th (okay I say a bunch but it was like four people from our usual less-socially distant circle). I have no idea when the next get-together will be, it's kinda hard to plan those kinds of things lately.

R - For me to tell 10 of my curiosities.

the phrasing of this question is weird but I'm gonna assume it means things I'm curious about? let's go with that.

travel. I haven't ever been out of the country and I'd like to see other parts of the world at least at some point in my life.

tattoos. both getting them and learning to do them, it's a niche branch of art that I'm just fascinated by and I might like to do it as a career if I knew more about it.

same thing with being a florist. I'm really drawn to it as a concept and I'm super curious how it works, but I have no idea what kind of… qualifications and whatnot I'd need for that.

 surfing. I'm surrounded by the lifestyle and now kind of own a surfboard, I just want to know what the appeal is.

this may be a bit tmi, but I'm really curious what it's like to have a dick. I don't suppose I'll strictly ever know, but I still really want to… probably one of the biggest things to clue me in that I'm definitely trans is the literal penis envy ngl. 

I've always kind of had a fascination with the ocean, and I'd love to go like, scuba diving or something someday, to see it up close and personal.

I think everyone has the impulse thought of shaving their head at some point. maybe someday I will I don't quite have the balls to do it now.

I've gone this long in my life and never wielded a sword? a travesty. I don't pretend to have the grace to actually know how to use one, but I've like, never even held a real one and the idea interests me a lot.

this one might be slightly morbid curiosity, but I don't think I've ever been like, properly drunk or high before, like I've been tipsy but I've never been wasted, you know? the idea kind of scares me and I don't think I'm going to go out and remedy it, but it's still there, and even if I know it's not a good idea, I do still wonder what that's like.

same vein, maybe even a little darker, but I've got at least a little morbid curiosity about like, death and real danger. again, not planning to act on it At All, but the thought is still lurking in the back of my mind like what if…? you asked for honesty.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

S - 2 habits.

bit of a new habit, but I have a whole ritual of disinfecting groceries when I bring them home, and then disinfecting the door knobs and counters. I don't know if it'll persist after the pandemic is over, but it's already ingrained in me and I don't feel comfortable if I skip it or do  it differently.

I apologize for things that aren't my fault. it's such an instinct at this point to say "sorry" when I'm uncomfortable or anxious that it doesn't even register anymore, even when people tell me not to be sorry, I'm still gonna say it, sorry.

T - 5 things I love unconditionally.

already answered so here's 5 more

my family. if I haven't got my family I haven't got anything, we've got each others' backs and I won't turn on them for anything

my friends. same deal, I owe so much to my friends, I love them, and that won't change no matter what they decide to do or be.

sleep. I love sleep so much, even if it's just an involuntary nap, though for someone who loves it so much I sure don't get enough of it

spotify. I know it has problems, I know there are probably more streamlined/cheaper music streaming services out there, but at this point, I've sunk too much of my time and energy into this one and I'll never give it up

my ocs. I don't talk about them very much on this platform, but I have them, they're my children, and I love them even if they're assholes and never easy to write/draw. 

U - How many texts I send daily.

already answered, the number varies, and sometimes swings drastically between like, 5 and 35 on any given day.

V - 3 big dreams.

graduate art school. it's gonna be a serious undertaking and probably take several more years and a lot of loans at this point, but I'm still determined to get there someday.

someday I want to write a book. I know I've said that before on a different prompt, but it wouldn't be a list of dreams without including this one that I've held onto since childhood. 

this one's kind of vague, but someday… I want to not be afraid anymore. like I want to finally be in a state of mental/financial security so I can live my life without the fear of what's coming next. 

W - An idol.

it's probably really basic to list a youtuber, but I've still gotta go with Chase Ross. the guy was an inspiration and a major source of information and support for me early-on in my transition, and even watching him now I still want to approach life with the pure positive energy and confidence that he has. 

X - If I’ve done something I regret very much.

yes. a couple things, really… some of which I don't think I'll ever be able to make up for.

Y - If I like my town and why.

my current town? yeah, it's got its problems but it's also beautiful and full of life and art and unique energy and I miss the days before the Corona End Times when I could actually go out and enjoy it.

Z - Ask any question you want.

??? I did not receive any specification for this one, and given that I didn't skip even the duplicate answers and this is ridiculously long, this one I'm gonna SKIP.

[linchxpin]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.

Can be used for RP and non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen!

1. FIRST NAME: i go by masha online :v

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: when i was five years old, my family and i lived in a nursing home :oc or a. i guess technically it was more of a. oh. i mean it was a nursing home, but it was one that was specifically Set Up to handle seniors and Others with. erm. psychological issues coughs

i still remember some of the residents, and i also remember occasionally helping out with some of them, too. you know. in Very Small Ways bc i was just barely Not a literal toddler lmao

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: uhhhfjfkea;gerrr???? i’m automatically drawn to noses for some reason, particularly if they’re. A Certain Shape. also eyebrows/eyelashes thinking emoji and uhhhhh idk i guess maybe hands/wrists?? idek dude i’m frickn asexual as hell lmao

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: so i usually say dumplings of any sort and from any cuisine (potstickers, ravioli, empanadas, pirozhki, steamed buns, u name it), but i was recently reminded that scotch eggs are A Thing and

inhales

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: HOMINY......... CAULIFLOWER............. whispers asparagus hhhhh i also can’t do stewed tomatoes oh g o d

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: right now it’s probably dollmakers and watching hetalia mmd videos on youtube lmao lies down

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: whatever clothes i wore the day before finger guns

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: i mean probably neither, but if i had to choose, i’m. a little bit. ??? toward flings 6_6

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: g o d. the two biggest things i can think of are that i wouldn’t have dropped out of school rip i guess maybe in the long run it wouldn’t have changed much in the way of my schooling, but. idk. maybe i’d still have a friend or two rip

the other is that i wish i’d managed to live alone longer than i had

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: to those i know well, yes

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: fjife;a kung fu panda 2 lmao also honestly a lot of the x-men movies fall under this for some reason

12. FAVORITE BOOK: a little princess, house of leaves, on the beach, and almost anything by h.g. wells, but especially war of the worlds. also i can’t not mention the secret garden and little women

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: i mean, i admit i am the type of person who is inordinately happy keeping dogs as pets bc they pretty much hit every one of my Needs for a pet, but the idea of owning like. something really really Big and fluffy Sends Me ngl

WAIT LET ME COME IN DAYS LATER AND ADMIT THAT HAVING A PET SEAL WOULD PROBABLY BE MY DOWNFALL

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: oh lord UHHHH don’t judge me ok but my favorites are probablyyyy 

) beerus/whis (dragon ball) ) euroshipping kaiba/bakura (yugioh) ) sora/kairi/riku (kingdom hearts) ) i think it’s called stormshipping now?? fubuki/manjoume (yugioh gx) ) bad friends trio OT3 (hetalia)

y. yeah. tried to go with a Variety of different fandoms rip

15. PIE OR CAKE: whichever one cheesecake counts as >8| but honestly probably pie, bc i frickn love pumpkin pie, chocolate silk pie, lemon meringue pie, cherry pie, key lime pie, hershey’s cookies & cream pie-- i mean the list is practically endless lmao

16. FAVORITE SCENT: SO MANY. cucumber melon, aloe vera, lysol, rubbing alcohol, BLEACH......... sweet pea, gardenia, actual rose, actual vanilla, ginger, white tea g o d you will find me literally standing in the soap and body wash aisle for a good thirty to forty-five minutes just smelling what they offer there lmao......................

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: idk uhhhh weird al? lmao

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: I WANT TO GO TO RUSSIA SOMEDAY but also i’d love to revisit sorrento and capri and florence and assisi 

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: in the middle-ish but leaning somewhat heavily toward introvert :v

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: i am a very Jumpy person lmao but. other than that, it really depends on what you’re doing to scare me thinking emoji history has shown me i tend to keep a cool head in emergencies

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: telegram. ya whippersnapper *tapdances out*

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: at the moment? no orz but i still consider myself fans of games like animal crossing, kingdom hearts, twewy, uhhhhh monster hunter, super smash brothers, MARIO KART.... and also majora’s mask is probably my all-time favorite game thinking emoji

i’m also a big fan of star fox and any number of survival horror games, but they’re generally too Difficult for me to actually play rip

23. DREAM JOB: god for probably like ten years or more i’ve dreamed of being a comic creator lies down i’ve pretty much given up on that one tho. but i’d also just Love being able to do something related to drawing-- especially in animation. i also will always mourn not being able to be a teacher bc i love the act itself of teaching, but. well. mornings and me Do Not Mix. so. when i’m feeling more practical, the truth is i want very much to be a hospice nurse

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: l o r d firST THING-- get my education squared up and out of the way >:u and probably also pay off my student debt i already have. hrmmm. maybe buy a house. definitely move out, that’s for sure. take my mom to italy and/or ireland

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: iiiiiii. er. i mean, i can’t think of any off the top of my head?? i don’t tend to hate characters tbh scratches head the most i get is neutral toward them lmao

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: well. i kinda tend to cycle through old fandoms, so i can’t really think of any that i was once part of that i also have no interest whatsoever in going back to

i guess there’s some that i hesitate to get drawn too deeply into, just bc of their reputations or. honestly sometimes just bc i’m Just Not That Into It lmao

i could maaaybe put star wars here? bc it was technically my very first fandom back when i was like ten years old and the phantom menace had just come out fjfie;ahg YES I AM THAT OLD SHHH i was really into it at the time, and i still enjoy the universe itself and all, but. i can’t say i’ve felt compelled to really Join The Fandom

tagged by. whispers stolen from @sakuraari​

[dazais-guardian-angel]

🔥!

I was trying to think of something good and ohhhh okay, something I’ve never actually talked about explicitly on here before at length and have only really vague-bitched about in tags lmao. go here we go. hunter x hunter, boys. this got way too long because of course it did, and i’m about to be burned alive lol rip

I really, really, don’t like the chimera ant arc of Hunter x Hunter, well specifically everything after everyone/the focus moves out of NGL and into the palace. I really just don’t think it’s good or handled well at all, it has good ideas, but what little good ideas are there are not given the proper focus and time they deserve (basically I just mean Meruem and Komugi’s story, that’s literally the only part of the arc in the palace besides the Kite and Gon stuff I had anyyy investment in). The focus of the arc starts out on Kite, and Kite’s relationship with Gon, and that should have stayed the focus throughout the entire thing, but instead Kite becomes less of a character and more a plot device to die for Gon’s angst, which would have been OKAY…… if it weren’t for the fact that then Kite’s importance drops to zero in the midst of the other 3045839 story threads that are introduced (too. many. characters. so many that I can’t care for hardly any of them), and that story, the core of the arc, the REASON EVERYONE ENDED UP IN THE PALACE ON THIS MISSION AT ALL, gets focused on like 3 other times, with so much other shit in between it that I don’t care about, that by the time those moments do come, they don’t hit nearly as hard as they should have. I don’t care if Kite was never meant to be important in the grand scheme of the arc, he’s introduced as so important, he’s the reason Gon starts on this journey at all not that the 2011 anime cared to let us know that, so the emotional impact of his fate should have carried all the way through, ideally leading into Gon and Killua saving zombiefied him and working together to defeat Pitou. 

Which leads to the other biggest thing that pisses me off about the arc. First, the fact that it makes Gon out to be a villain for having terrible trauma and unsupported grief because adults literally send him into a war zone with no care for his own mental state, for wanting to kill a creature that killed his father figure (that the narrative tries to paint as having “changed” and “humanized” just bc she wants to save Komugi for Meruem, but she’s only doing it to save her own hide; she’s boring as hell and has NO MERCY for Gon all the way to the end), and for telling Killua to let him be ONE TIME, AGAIN, WHILE EXTREMELY UNSTABLE, AND WHILE KILLUA HAS SHOWN TO GIVE ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKS ABOUT KITE WHATSOEVER (so why wouldn’t Gon say it has nothing to do with him??? he has absolutely no reason to believe otherwise), DESPITE SHOWING A LIKING FOR HIM EARLIER IN THE ARC. Gon is villified for doing things and behaving in ways that are 100% justified and understandable with the circumstances he’s in, and Killua is shown as desperate and pitiable and the victim here, when he had ample opportunities and ways to try to help Gon before the mission, but did nothing, even recognizing that he was going over the edge, and then later cries about “not being able to do anything”, and then LATER gets ANGRY at Gon, who is currently dying, for putting himself in this position and not letting Killua help him fight Pitou, when again 1) Killua made no effort to help him, in ANY way, and 2) Gon had no reason to think he wanted to help because of his behavior about the situation, and no ability to ask for help because no one had given him earlier, for lack of a better word, HELP. Killua even SAYS something like “I know Kite was only important to you”, even though, again, Killua grows close to Kite too early in the arc, but that’s completely retconned later in order for Gon to go it alone and to woobify/make sympathetic Killua. :)))) In one episode before the palace mission begins, I can’t remember which, Killua pulls out the needle in his head, and seems to gain a new understanding of his relationship with Gon, and is determined to protect and support him???? So where does all of that go??? He just goes BACKWARDS, becoming more unhealthily dependent on him than ever. Not to mention that they give a fantastic opportunity for Killua to develop outside of Gon, when he befriends Ikalgo (that friendship is ADORABLE, MY GOD)! but they just……… don’t go anywhere with that…….. why……..

Other problems are the GODFORSAKEN NARRATOR OH MY GOD ANIME/TOGASHI DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF SUBTEXT AND LETTING THE AUDIENCE BE ABLE TO PICK UP ON THINGS THEMSELVES, again, having 30485039 characters and plot threads ongoing at once, with nothing happening over 5 episode-spans and nothing I care about for 15, which again ruins the impact of those moments when they do come……. I cried when Gon found out about Kite, and when Meruem/Komugi died together, but shit man, both of those sets of characters deserved so much more to their arcs. And then Kite becomes a redhead chick who Gon says “hi, glad you’re back, bye!” to (literally not even exaggerating that much) in the second to last episode………………… w h y i know why, because keeping him dead would mean Gon would actually have to deal with mourning properly and WHO KNOWS HOW TO SHOW THAT, NOT THIS WRITER. KITE WHO???

The chimera ant arc is just such a hot mess. so much i don’t care about over an exhausting amount of time, and not nearly enough for the little I did care about. Pouf and Youpi get high for an entire episode over golden baked Meruem. just why. i still don’t understand, im so tired. i’m still so salty, why does this arc get so much praise. togashi why are you like this, you do not know what you’re doing.

[lattetimes]

Latte Talks About: Y//O//I

okay, fuck it, let’s go.

for context, i use to be a fan of the show in the beginning. i thought it was kind of interesting, and the main character being in his 20′s and coping with constant anxiety was something i can 100% relate to! that being said, i have a shitton of issues with the show and the fanbase itself by extension. 

i’m gonna put all this under a readmore and separate this by categories. before that, i’m gonna start off with a quick summary of what Y/O//I is (for anyone that’s kinda curious and have 0 idea wtf this anime even is about). i tried to keep everything as brief as possible so it won’t be too much to read through, but i have a lot to say about this entire anime that i didn’t get to say last year, soooo.

PROLOGUE: WHAT IS “ YOI ” ?

if you already know what YOI is, you can skip right over this and jump right into PART ONE. 

ok, so. Yuri!!! on ICE (a.k.a. YOI) is a sports anime series that was produced by MAPPA, directed by Sayo Yamamoto and was written by Mitsurō Kubo. it ran from October 6, 2016 – December 22, 2016, with 12 episodes under its belt for one season and talks of a possible second season. 

the story goes that 23-year old (turns 24 in episode 9) Yuuri Katsuki is Japan’s top figure skater and he fucks the fuck up at the last Grand Prix Final (GPF) he participated in. he decides that he might as well put this career on hold or just quit altogether. while he’s chillin’ back at home (which is a hotel-bath house, keep that in mind for a lil’ bit), he recreates an advanced performance done by his idol Victor Nikiforov during that same GPF (Viktor was in first place, Yuuri was dead last). 

well, this performance was secretly recorded by his friends’ triplet daughters and put up on YouTube, getting the attention of Victor and prompting Victor to stop skating for an entire season to coach Yuuri (much to the dismay of Victor’s coach, Yakov). this event sets off Yuri “Yurio” Plisetsky, a 15-year old skating protege that worked with Victor closely and was promised Victor’s help years ago.

the two compete for who gets to be coached by Victor in this season and Yuuri beats Yurio, leading to the rivalry between the two and Yurio returning to Russia without Victor. the anime goes through the entire skating season revolving around these three characters- along with a revolving door of side characters in order to keep the competitions interesting- going through physical and even mental obstacles to kick their opponents’ asses. 

...and this is where my issues with the anime starts.

PART ONE: THE STORY IS AWKWARD

i have a lot of issues with this anime. a lot. 

for one thing, the entire story hinges on this one accidental night that was revealed in episode 10 after Victor and Yuuri trade matching golden rings: Yuuri got hella wasted after his fuckup in the GPF, and basically gave Victor the time of his life. they danced, and Victor had fallen hard for drunk-off-his-ass Yuuri. (pole dancing was also somehow involved. don’t ask me how.)

Yuuri forgot the entire night, presumably because he dropped off the face of the earth in social media. my main issue with that is how was this never brought up again with any of the other characters?! how was Yuuri completely unaware of this happening?!

Yuuri’s friend, Phichit, being unaware of it makes a little bit of sense due to his absence during that GPF. but not Yuuri? there was a small segment in the first episode that shows that he had his phone notifications off for a long period of time after he recreated Victor’s routine. 

but, i still find that to be a bit too convenient. and after he’s back into skating how did no one else mention this? i know Chris, Victor and Mickey alluded to it at separate points and that makes sense- it’s a good way to get the shock of what episode 10 dropped on us to be even better.

...but no one’s bothered to straight-up mention, “hey, Yuuri, remember when you spun on a fucking pole and beat a 14-year old in a break dance competition? yeah, what the fuck was up?”

my main issue with the entire story would be the ending, so...

PART TWO: THE ENDING KINDA WAS MEH IMO

the end of the series has Yuuri coming in second place (a huge improvement from the last year) and Yurio in first place in his first senior-division GPF. oh, also JJ gets in third place somehow, but we’ll get back to that in a second. 

now, i get why they made Yuuri get second place since he promised to quit skating competitively once he wins gold and to also “allow” Victor to go back to skating (there’s a huge internal conflict with Yuuri since a lot of people assumed Yuuri “stole” Victor from competing). what could’ve happened instead of Yuuri getting second is the following:

Yuuri wins gold, and he either stays in the competing world as a competitor for another year because he gained his love for the sport back and wants to go for one more year. or, he decides to teach Minami (an upcoming Japanese skater that greatly admires Yuuri). this would help create a new dynamic with Yuuri and Victor (if Victor coaches Yurio if Yuuri starts coaching), along with introducing Yurio to a new competitor for the next skating season. 

Victor stays as a coach, for either Yuuri or Yurio (since Yuuri does move in with Victor after this GPF). he really enjoys coaching people, and learns how to improve his coaching skills with extra help from Yakov. 

Yurio comes in second. he’s devastated at first, and he’s disappointed in himself. but then he remembers: he’s only 15. and he got second place in his first senior division GPF. and that itself is fucking incredible. 

JJ gets dead last. after an incredible season of completely crushing all of the other competitors and even showin’ Yuuri up by perfectly executing Victor’s signature move (that Yuuri struggled to replicate), he fucked up. he messed up both his skate routines. with the promise he had made is fiance, Isabella, that winning gold means they’ll get married and he fucks it all up. but, Isabella is still with him after he fucks up; his parents- that are also his coaches- still support him; the crowds still chant for King JJ! the king may have fallen, but he’s not gonna give it up. and he becomes stronger from that!

give Phichit or Chris bronze, dammit.

PART THREE: THE CHARACTERS THEMSELVES ARE MEH AS HELL TOO, NGL

so the character design was handled by Tadashi Hiramatsu, working off of Kubo’s original sketches of how the designs would look. and overall, i think the designs are alright. they don’t stem too far from reality (with a few exceptions, because this is a fuckin’ sports anime so fuck it!). 

i’m only gonna specify a few characters, because tbh almost all the characters are very flat or not interesting. if they didn’t have nice designs  or hella bomb music for their routines i wouldn’t even give a flying fuck about them. but they have that goin’ for them, i guess.

Yurio Plisetksy

oh, we’re gonna get back to this character don’t worry. 

Seung-gil Lee

i personally don’t have much to say about Seung-gil, but the issue of racism against this character was brought up multiple times while the show was airing. 

Seung-gil is a South Korean skater that competes against Yuuri once, and was unable to make the cut. the issue with this character is that he’s rude to a lady skater that seems to have taken some interest in him (and she was being polite and sweet to him) by ignoring her calls and outright saying he has no interest in being her friend. he also is calculating his scores as he’s performing.

Otabek Altin and JJ

god, i wish Otabek was introduced earlier ‘cause he probably would’ve been a much better character. his entire existence was basically just to contrast Yurio, and not in the way JJ does with Yuuri.

Otabek is a large and powerful masculine man, while Yurio is constantly called the “Russian ice fairy” due to his more feminine appearance (which was stated in the anime). and Otabek admires Yurio’s grace while Yurio admires his strength.  but, other than that, Otabek is basically only a prop for Yurio. his entire character revolves around Yurio, and that’s it. you can’t really talk about Otabek at all without even mentioning Yurio.

with JJ, he’s got his own character arc goin’ for him. he’s always been at the top, he’s incredibly skilled and everyone fucking bows for King JJ. fuck, he has an entire song called Theme of King JJ! and this contrasts amazingly with Yuuri!

whereas Yuuri is constantly questioning his self-worth and skill, JJ owns that shit. but with Otabek and Yurio, it falls flat, and in the next section i’m gonna delve into the character of Otabek a bit more.

Makkachin

the dog is objectively the best character and no one can say otherwise.

PART FOUR: YURIO IN GENERAL TBH

honest to god, i think Yurio was the character that was hardest for me to get use to. 

and i’m just gonna start right off with my biggest issue here: Yurio was incredibly sexualized. and not in the way that would be Yurio owning his sexuality.

nope, Yurio’s performance for his exhibition skate Welcome to the Madness was very... uncomfortable to sit through. his performance was like this:

(CREDIT FOR THIS GIF)

there is absolutely NO FUCKING REASON to show off one of the youngest characters in this show in this way. there’s ZERO REASON FOR THIS BOY’S SHIRT TO RIDE UP LIKE THIS, OR FOR HIM TO REPLICATE THIS SPECIFIC ICE SKATING MOVE. you want one of your characters to perform that kind of move as a homage to Stéphane Lambiel? HAVE YUURI DO IT- HE WAS THE ONE THAT SKATED TO EROS- A LITERAL SKATING ROUTINE ABOUT PASSION AND LOVE-MAKING AND ALL THAT JAZZ.

yeah, Yurio was the one that wanted to go for that spicier routine (basically personifying lust) over Agape (personifying wholesome love), and you can argue that having Yurio do shit like this was for the character to show everyone that he has control over his own sexuality, but that isn’t the case.  having his arc be about how he’s coming to terms with his sexuality or how he feels pressured into being more sexual while still being a minor- leading to him being uncomfortable and having a new friend step in and say “hey you do wtf you wanna do” would’ve made this shitshow better. 

no, the creator made this routine in order to get more sales (which duh), and to garner more interest from the side of the fanbase that wants to see Yurio get together with Otabek by throwing him in the routine.

Otabek’s part in the routine was only for a decoration, like icing on the cake for Yurio’s performance! he was only there so they could upstage Yuuri and Victor’s duet!

this isn’t a character taking charge of his sexuality or even an arc about how figure skaters. no, they only had Yurio doing this performance because a lot of people wanted to see Yurio and Otabek end up together (which is something I’ve already stated i have a few issues with). 

a really good way they could’ve taken Yurio’s arc was to show him being pressured by the adults in his life into having to sexualize himself, and constantly showing Yurio being uncomfortable with this. he just wants to skate his own way, but then the fear of the judges and other competitors looking down on him because he’s the youngest competitor in this year’s GPF (everyone’s in their 20′s, minus JJ who is 19) he falls into a state of depression because he’s not doing things on his own terms. have Yurio combating with this inner struggle and have him overcome it by saying, “hey fuck you, stop staring at me like this.” have Otabek back him up- have Otabek (who is 18) be someone that isn’t confident with himself and have him be the one that tells Yurio, “hey, this is hella gross, are you even okay with any of this?”

or, y’know, don’t sexualize kids just for money, just sayin’, that’s a better option.

another issue i’ve seen with Yurio is that he’s fucking everywhere. 

yes, Yurio is a main character and i get that he’s gonna get a shit ton more merch than Georgi or Leo, but he’s overshadow the other two main characters. and honestly, i’m sick of seeing him. it’s upsetting, but true. i’m sick of that character entirely. 

PART FIVE: THE ANIMATION REALLY ISN’T GOOD

so, another issue i have is that the animation really isn’t jaw-dropping. 

the only time i was fucking impressed by the animation was episode one, showing off Victor’s performance of Stammi Vicino! 

the show’s animation was subpar at best, and it wasn’t anything revolutionary or stellar at all. it was very flat and static, and even the ice skating routines were boring in that regard. there’s barely any real effort that is put into the animation of the anime, and it’s a real let-down!

y’know what anime had crazy-good animations? Mob Psycho 100.

this character is just talking to people, and he’s incredibly animated and overall interesting to watch!

this show has very interesting use of squash and stretch when it comes to making characters emote. even the smallest of expressions are easily magnified due to the solid execution by the animation team at Studio Bones!

YOI could’ve better attempted at doing this with at least the skating routines, and the bare minimum with the main three characters. it would’ve made the anime a lot more engaging instead of having everything be so damn static or consist of shot reverse-shots. having more interesting angles in the show would also help with the expression of feelings, as this show is very heavy on emotional weight when it comes to Yuuri and Yurio’s struggles to compete against the other.

and i’m so not upset about MP 100 losing to YOI in the Crunchyroll anime awards because it was totes not biased. which, by the way...

PART SIX: THE FANBASE ITSELF (OH BOY)

these are a few examples of the issue i take with the fanbase. for this section, i’m going to list off what problems i have with the fanbase, and why i now have the entire YOI tagged blacklisted.

Victor and Yuuri’s relationship (homophobia!!): this is one of the biggest reasons why i don’t associate with the fanbase anymore. the fanbase constantly takes this couple and tries to add toxic “relationship problems” to them. this includes (but is not limited to):

threatening to divorce each other

doting “wife” Yuuri

“playboy” Victor

Yurio’s “constant disgust” with the two being happy together (Yurio seeing “sin” if the two so much as cuddle with each other)

basically calling two men that are together “a dirty sinful ship”

“Victor is the man of the relationship” “no, Yuuri is” (basically the application of heterosexual standards onto a gay pairing, and having a “power struggle” with them instead of them being happy together)

fanfics (which i will make a separate part for)

Yurio’s sexualization (OtaYuri): i’ve went well into depth about this, but there’s another point i would live to bring up. there are actual minors that don’t want to see Yurio in a sexual way because they’re around the same age as him and don’t like the idea of having people having sexual fantasies about a teenager. that thought genuinely makes them uncomfortable. well, the side of the fanbase that ships OtaYuri (the ship name) will go well out of their way in order to make them uncomfortable. some OtaYuri shippers join anti-OtaYuri discord servers or skype groups, and then spam them with OtaYuri content until they’re permanently banned from the chats. 

Killing Stalking (also referred to as “KS”): i already can’t stand the fucking online series called Killing Stalking, and it’s horrid to sit through. the fanbase of KS already has a fucked up vision of shipping the two main men- one of them being a homophobic serial killer that breaks the other guy’s legs in order to keep him trapped in his home and another his obsessive stalker that broke into his house. and the Yuri!!! on ICE fanbase flocked right into that the second the anime ended, and decided it was okay to take Victuuri (the ship name of Victor and Yuuri), and try to come up with their fucked up headcannons and AU’s with KS.

The YOI Fanfics: okay. this is honestly a huge part of why i’m very cautious of interacting with YOI fans. there’s a multitude of fanfics that incorporate homophobic, non-consensual aspects into their writing just so people can get their rocks off to it. and that really bugs me. i’m going to talk about the kinds of fanfics that really seem to bug me the most. WARNIING: this is NSFW-related, since that’s the most kind of fanfic i’ve seen of them. 

Alpha/Omega/Beta Fics: this category for fanfictions involves an AU where occasionally characters will go “into heat” and have the uncontrollable need to breed with either their partner or anyone nearby. and usually it’s the “uncontrollable, lusty, submissive Omega” (which is commonly Yuuri) that needs their “dominating and powerful Alpha” (usually Victor) to give into desires and screw. a lot. now, this is wrong for a coupe of reasons: it portrays these gay men as people that cannot control their desires at all; this isn’t always consensual sex at first; there’s always a focus on a power dynamic between the two+ characters involved due to being “presented” as an Alpha, Omega, or Beta. 

THE POSITIVES: YES, THERE’S A FEW POSITIVES I SAW

its music was composed by Taro Umebayashi and Taku Matsushiba, and they did a fucking great job workin’ with the music. On Love: EROS will remain as my favorite song from the entire album that YOI released.

seeing Yuuri attempt Victor’s move in episode 7 and then successfully master it in episode 12 was something amazing to see. it was an incredible thing to see Yuuri land on his feet as opposed to him hitting the ice again, and it really shows how far’s he’s come. 

another positive would 100% be the fact that figure skating had gained a lot more popularity. it was so nice seeing so many people become more interested in the sport itself, and i loved seeing pro skaters even love the show! Stéphane Lambiel even had a cameo in episode 12!

the characters’ designs are really not all that bad. and the voice work is great! i don’t really watched dubbed anime often, but the dub for YOI was over-the-top and ridiculous! and the VA for Yuuri in the English dub (Josh Grelle) was at SuperCon this year, and he kept talking about how much he loved Yuuri’s character. he loves the fact that the story of YOI takes place in a world where no one has to be afraid of loving who they love, and that’s something he wants to see in the near future, and i find that incredibly sweet.

the dog is immortal.

CONCLUSION

so. there you go. that’s all i have to say about the entirety of Yuri!!! on ICE. 

did i enjoy it? well, yeah, a little bit. i was a part of a YOI skype chat when it began because i was so excited that we were getting a sports anime about figure skating!

was it worth all the Internet-breaking hype? eeeeh, not entirely, no? episode 7′s kiss was something special, yes, but the show itself wasn’t allowed to be critiqued that often while the show was still riding the high of popularity it had. 

and if you liked the anime, that’s awesome! i’m glad you did! i can 100% see why the show was very popular and why a lot of people still love it! 

i don’t label every YOi fan a homophobe for liking the show, but seeing this kind of behavior way too often has made me lose my love for the show overall. i can’t even look at the show anymore, and that’s really upsetting to me. but, it did make me happy for the time being. it’s just a fucking shame that the show had a shit ton to work with, and they didn’t go for it. 

i’m sorry this got very long, but there were some areas that i needed to delve more into than others and i got carried away.

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 3x01 recap

Okay so honestly, until the episode actually aired I wasn’t sure this recap would happen. This hiatus has been all too easy for me, because the finale-- or, specifically, the time jump paired with the realisation that Weller really was going to have a kid-- really made me question whether this was still the show I fell in love with, and if I really wanted to dedicate any more of my time to it. Plus, since I avoid spoilers, there were some serious concerns-- for example, whether Weller even knew why Jane left-- that I had, that I didn’t have the answers to yet.

Which meant that basically I went into this episode not really expecting to feel particularly positive about it. But instead-- like with the second half of S2 after that rather unpleasant start-- damn Gero managed to pull me back in, as he somehow always does.  

So here goes. Recap time. But fair warning: this review is about my personal feelings towards the show, and therefore you may not agree with what you read. Feel free to come and talk to me about it anyway.

Honestly I (like everyone else) knew a wedding was coming, but unlike everyone else I wasn’t all that interested to see it. I mean, I’m happy for them and all, but I’m more interested in seeing the being-married part than the actual getting married. But then the flowers, and the music, and the family looking so beautiful, and Patterson OFFICIATING, and Hirst and Stuart being there (side note: I am only now recognising Stuart as an actor from Gero’s old show the LA Complex, along with about six other actors who have been on this show over the years lol). But anyway, considering my biggest problem with S2 was the baby fiasco, I was expecting to feel the same nausea when seeing the baby onscreen as when I thought of it at any other time (it’s literally one of my least fave tropes, guys, so I’m sorry but I will always hate the existence of the baby), but it was fairly easy to just ignore it. I was bummed not to see Sarah or Sawyer, who would literally have never missed this wedding and tbh would have been a waaaaaaaay better inclusion in S2 and 3 than the unwanted offspring, but whatever. #Foreverbitter

That said, seeing the team laughing and dancing and having an amazing time was just the best. And of course the Jeller lovey-doveyness was so great, and maaaann I really wish we could have heard those speeches. Reade and Tasha dancing was a little bit borderline for me-- they’re so cute and I love them as best friends but PLEASE GERO JUST LET THEM BE BEST FRIENDS. DON’T PUT THEM TOGETHER. PLEASE DON’T.

Ngl I don't at all like that Jeller moved to Colorado. Big nope for me, though I understand why it happened, and god I did love the scene with the fam helping them pack and then tough-as-nails Tasha crying??? Let me die. But I also identify with her the most rn, bc she GETS it. With Jeller gone, their family will never be the same. The roadtrip montage was cute, and the carrying over the threshold???? Ughhhhh save me. I love that they took on the project of the house, the two of them making the perfect team (was there a baby in this montage? Nope, not that I saw. No babies here. Maybe just Allie’s new puppy that they look after from time to time. Yeah, let’s go with that. Bethany is a puppy they babysit and no one can force me to view it as anything else).

So as much as I’m enjoying this montage of domestic bliss, I’m kinda ready for it to end because GUYS PLEASE I’M TOO USED TO ANGST AND SLOW BURN, YOU CAN’T OVERLOAD ME WITH FLUFF LIKE THIS.  And then phew it ends, leaving us in the new Jeller residence with Weller just returning from napping in the laundry beside Bethany’s basket because she still howls when she’s left alone and so he had to pet her until she fell asleep. Awwwww, so nice of these two to look after Allie’s puppy while she works nightshift. I love that Jane cooked dinner-- I bet Weller’s been teaching her and lots of sweet and sexy kitchen times have ensued. Jane gushes about the puppy’s cuteness and Weller suggests maybe they should get one of their own. Good thing they’re talking about a puppy and not a child because wow “one of our own” sure had a very exclusionary implication, like Jane was not at all connected to any other puppies/babies that might exist. But anyway I gotta move on before the world I’ve carefully constructed in this Matrix starts glitching. Saved by the bell, or rather the phone-- it’s Keaton with a warning that their lives are in danger, and here’s yet another topic that threatens to glitch my reality. Keaton tortured Jane for THREE MONTHS. Brutally and without true remorse. He should be persona non grata with literally everyone (the team and the fans alike), but instead the writers have turned him into the team’s new buddy. This is the biggest issue I’ve had with the show, I think-- not Keaton specifically, but what he represents. Because honestly when I think about certain plot points in theory, I feel very strongly and very negatively about them; but when the show goes “no it’s fine everything’s actually great” it somehow sucks me in and I just go ‘oh okay cool everything is great, that’s good then’’, and I just?? For example, I really enjoyed watching Keaton in the finale, and then I thought about it after the episode ad was like ‘wait no I hate him, how did I forget I hate him?’ Like I stg Gero is a wizard, and like anything truly magic related, that’s both a good and a bad thing. But anyway rn I’m appreciative of Keaton because he just helped save Jane and Weller’s lives. So I guess he gets points for that, though technically Jane has saved his life a couple of times already now. Jeller proceed to beat the crap out of their attackers, and aaahhhh, isn’t this so much more THEM than painting walls and picking out cushions? Their Colorado life was a nice little holiday but it wasn’t them.  Naturally the gunshots wake little puppy Bethany who is now barking in distress, but they check on her and she’s fine. Keaton rocks up to explain that some Sandstorm member has put out a hit on Jane for $10M, and now no one can stop a shit-ton of mercenaries from coming after Jane. Keaton and Jane are in agreement about putting Jane into a version of WitSec-- hopefully with much more comfortable lodgings than the last time she was put up by the CIA. (#Yesstillbitter).  Weller tries to reject the idea, then decides he’s coming too, bc “You’re my wife” ughhhhhh, but Jane can’t let him walk away from the rest of his life. She knows what that’s like, after all, though lbr giving up her life as Remi was the best thing she ever did. Unfortunately for Weller, he has a very hardheaded wife and he sleeps very heavily when he’s cuddling a fluffy puppy, so Jane bails in the middle of the night, and nope nope nope  I never needed to see her crying as she pulled off her wedding ring, thanks Satan (I mean Gero). But lbr, Weller is Jane’s everything, and she would do anything-- including break her own heart-- to keep him safe. Oh, Jane, you noble idiot.  At least this whole scene has allayed one of my concerns going into this season-- Weller definitely knows why Jane had to go, so he knows it was done out of love, and not for the lack of it.  I still think she could have kept the ring, but I suppose by leaving it she was telling him that she was okay, that she was leaving of her own accord and hadn’t been kidnapped or murdered or anything.

Have I mentioned lately how much I really hate time-jumps??? After the finale, I desperately hoped that they had been married the majority of that two year gap and that their separation was only like three or so months. I even mostly-completed a oneshot postfinale fic along those lines, but then we found out about the 18 month thing and I was like “well screw you too, show” (#yepdefinitelybitter) and abandoned the story entirely. Plus, it’s been otherwise proved non-canon now, so that was rather a waste of time. But anyway, it’s now 18 months after Jane disappeared (undoubtedly aided by Keaton) and you just know the whole family will have been scattered to the winds. Another reason to hate time jumps. Speaking of the team, Hirst shows up at Weller’s apartment-- which he somehow still has; renting it out, I guess?? But damn he’s clearly richer than I thought he was. He’s about to sell it though bc he’s spending all his time and money searching for Jane, just as he has for the last 18 months. And on one hand, I can totally be like “awww he loves her so much” but on the other hand I want to be like “wtf you sadistic writers, you’re literally going to rip apart a couple who loves each other for A YEAR AND A HALF, which is a FREAKING LONG TIME (seriously where were you 1.5yrs ago? Think about that and how much of forever ago it was) and then also literally have the love of Weller’s life disappear into thin air, when he had already spent 25 years of his life searching for the last person he loved who disappeared, and OH YEAH, WHO TURNED OUT TO HAVE BEEN DEAD THE WHOLE TIME???” Legit, if you actually take two seconds to think about it, this entire plotline is freaking awful and upsetting and yet the show will literally brush it off like it’s nothing, or merely a tiny insignificant blip in their lives. Just watch. And so again, this is one of those moments where Gero bedazzles us into not being upset by things which very much should upset us. But ANYWAY, Hirst is there because the team has been kidnapped, and I use the word ‘team’ lightly here, because they literally haven't seen each other in like a year because everything fell apart after Jeller abandoned them to go puppysit in Colorado. Anyhow, a mysterious box with Jane’s name on it (or her maiden name at least, no one can convince me that the woman for whom Weller is her home wouldn’t have taken his name and the belonging that went with it) was left in Reade’s apartment, likely because he’s the only one left in NYC because all the others bailed. Seriously I feel like this team’s breaking apart has given ME abandonment issues, so I have no idea how they’re all managing. But anyway the other nifty thing about the box is that it has coordinates on it, very possibly leading to Jane’s location. Congrats, Weller, looks like you don’t have to sell your apartment after all. And you totally have all the info you need to go find Jane, plus an excellent excuse, given that only she can open the box and help them save their friends (who they completely ditched two years ago). Fun times.

Jump to Nepal, and the scene from the finale. Now we know for sure that the hug was because Jane had never wanted to leave him, which is nice. Also that whoever left the box (lbr we all already know it’s Roman) literally made it so the two of them HAD to solve this together. Looks like someone ships his his sister and brother in law lol…  Aaaand okay now Jane is glowing. She admits that it must have happened when she was in an accident some months ago that had her in and out of consciousness for days, and wow how must that feel for Weller? Hearing that she literally almost died months ago and he would never have known about it? Dammit Jane, I know you suffered without him too and that you were doing it for ‘good’ reasons, but I still think you were wrong to do it. If anyone has a time machine up their sleeve, please donate it to these guys so they can go back and make better choices.

But all realistic feelings aside, the pair are straight back into tattoo solving mode (admit it guys, you’ve missed this) and quickly figure out that the first clue is a reference to the place that Weller proposed to Jane-- St Mark’s Square in Venice. Which on one hand is ugh so sweet and romantic but on the other is… kinda unoriginal? Lol. But regardless I need to hear more about his proposal. How long were they in Venice? How long had they been together? Did he intend to propose the whole time or did it just happen? Why did they holiday in Venice as opposed to other locations? Tell me EVERYTHING, GERO. But anyway Jane’s like ‘It’s happening all over again’ and it’s easy to assume she’s unhappy about that, but then again, maybe she’s actually not? Technically working with the team on the tattoos was the best time of her life (with some exceptions here and there). Weller offers for her to stay out of it if she wants to-- which is big of you, Weller, it really is. I mean we all know you're desperately hoping she comes with you, but then again you want her to be safe, so… this must be conflicting lol. But of course Jane is down to rescue their best friends (again, friends that they abandoned #irrationallybitter), and lbr is probably super sick of climbing that damn cliff, PLUS can’t face leaving her hubby a second time, so together they set off to Venice. Yay!

Weller has taken some full-body shots of the new tatts (I feel like that had to be slightly awkward for both of them) and sends them through to the lab, where they are received by Stuart (onya for moving up in the world, buddy), Hirst, and… RICH DOT FREAKIN COM. I mean, we’ve all known for a while that he was returning, and suspected long before that, but honestly this is the moment that makes the episode for me. My fave is back and is making jokes about nudes, and all is right with the world.  Jane is like ‘wtf’, and so Weller gives her a rundown on all she missed-- namely, that her entire ‘family’ has become estranged-- Reade is working in a position that tbh feels above his ability and experience level, give that his predecessors are the superhuman Mayfair and the wonderboy Weller; Tasha the CIA-hater is now working for the man who tortured Jane; Patterson has literally moved as far across the country as she can, to do work as far from their FBI work as possible. See what happens when parents abandon their children, Jane?? Everything falls apart, so you better go fix it. Also, two things: first, I wanna know all about Rich’s dealings with the FBI in the last two years. Give me a spin off just about that, please. Secondly, did Rich and Patterson try to find Jane after she disappeared and how did they feel about their (apparent) lack of success?  But anyway ugh literally every line of Rich’s is pure gold. I love that he’s staying in the same safe-house she did?? Keeping it in the family lol.  And then ugh for all his jokes about the nudes etc, you can tell he’s legitimately concerned that they’re about to walk into a trap. Oh my baby loves and misses his friends and wants them back in one piece and I juST LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Meanwhile, in the fun bunker, Reade and Zapata wake up after being drugged, and while he’s all business, she’s like “it’s good to see you, even if it takes being kidnapped for it to happen” and we discover that they haven't spoken at all in the year since Zapata went to the CIA. Dammit Jeller, see what you did??? Everything is broken!!!  And now a long-haired Patterson is herded into their cell, and is understandably all ‘wtf’ about it. Well, at least they’re all in the same room again, right?

Seeing Jeller in Venice is weird. I walked right there in the spot where they're walking, many times. I saw everything they’re seeing now. And ugh Jane says it seems like forever ago that they were last here, whereas for Weller it feels like it just happened. Which subtly demonstrates how they’re no longer in sync, and then ugh Weller tells her that this was the first place he came to after she disappeared, going straight to the place that only they knew about, hoping that she was waiting for him. But she wasn’t, and ugh you can tell how much that hurt him, realising that she was never going to come. How long did he wait for her before he realised that?? Ugh. But I appreciate that she immediately stops to apologise and try to explain herself, including making it clear that her love for him was the driving factor behind everything she did. The choice of language by the writers is clever, though, because we (and Weller) hear her say ‘loved’ and neither of us know for sure if that love is still present tense or not. Which of course it is, but still, the suspense… But ugh poor Weller. He’s still so hurt. Jane can you just give him another hug please? For longer this time? Like, say, forever?  

Also sidebar: I’m holidaying in Vanuatu atm, and there’s an old guy swimming in the pool that I’m sitting beside, and he looked up at me as I was writing that last sentence and at first I thought maybe it’s because he’s a man and I’m female in a bikini, but then he goes (in a cute, accented voice) “Don’t work so hard. You’re on holiday! You should be relaxing!” hahaha. Don’t worry, buddy, I’ve been lazing by this pool for hours now, and I’m currently writing about some of my favourite fake humans. I’m all good.

Meanwhile back in the Blindspot world, Jeller find a case on the roof that has her tattoo on the side, and while Weller is all ‘wait for the bombsquad!!’ Jane ignores him and immediately opens it. Ah, Weller, did you miss this? I mean it’s just like old times.  Inside the case there’s a phone, and Jane calls the number, and Roman answers almost too eagerly. He’s clearly pleased to be interacting with them both, and proud of himself for his genius plan for ‘tormenting’ them (while also bringing them back together, freeing Jane from the hit on her, and giving him an excuse to interact with them whenever he wants). Aw, my psychopathic lil boy just misses his family. Honestly it sounds like he’s gone through a fair bit of trouble to get to the guy who holds the hit out on Jane and give them a way to take him down… a way that involves kinda almost killing Jane but eh, could be worse? And then ooooh they realise from the bells that he’s right there in the square too, and omg as Jane is asking him how they get their friends back (answer: apparently they don’t) she’s spinning around looking for him, and right behind her is a walkway with a snack bar on one side of it, and man I have such clear memories of walking along that walkway to our hotel or stopping into that snack bar for gelati. Ugh, I miss Venice. And then he says her name again (dude it’s Jane WELLER, not Doe) and she spots him and takes off after him and Weller suddenly panics because he doesn’t know where she is (ugh my poor boy) but luckily he manages to take the exact right turn to find them (do you know how easy it is to get turned around in Venice?????  He’d have never found them) and he jumps onto Roman’s getaway boat which is badass, and after what seems like several minutes of an unpleasant upper-body workout he manages to pull himself up on the boat and attack Roman. Meanwhile Jane, who got left behind earlier, has managed to just about catch up to them despite having commandeered what appears to be the Italian version of a motor-pontoon.  Also Roman manages to keep his sunnies on throughout their fight which is pretty damn impressive considering that Weller has bodyslammed him a couple of times as well as punching him full on in the face more than once. But eh. Weller does manage to dislodge Roman's jacket as he gets literally kicked off the boat, though. Good thing Captain Jane and her trusty vessel aren't far behind, and pick him up. I like that she called him Weller; that’s right Jane, just because it’s your name now too doesn’t mean you can’t still call him that. Oooooh but rather than being grateful for the rescue, Weller is too busy being upset with Jane for ditching him, which he’s understandably just a tad sensitive about these days. Looks like these guys have still got a little bit to go in terms of getting their groove back. And while Jane is lamenting Roman’s escape, Weller shows her the phone from the pocket of Roman’s jacket, his voice all proud. Yeah, son, you did good.

Back at the lab, Stuart is still being antagonized by Rich, who I have to say pulls off those flowered shirts better than I would have believed possible. Though lbr, I gave up on trying not to be inexplicably attracted to Rich a long time ago. While they’re cracking the encrypted phone, Jeller go ahead with Roman’s plan to get rid of Jane’s bounty. Not that the munchkin is happy about it, of course, but Jane is determined to have her life back-- lbr, after getting to see Weller again after all this time, there’d be no way she could ever let him go again. While Weller’s super against the death-mimicking drug, it gets support from Stuart and Rich, the former in simply confirming that it does what Roman says it does, and the latter detailing his own uses for it which include faked-death border crossings and, of course, ‘some sex stuff’. Not sure I wanna hear the sex stories, but the border crossings one sure has me intrigued. The guys do bring up one catch: if she doesn’t have the antidote within 90 mins, she’ll actually die.  Weller is NOT down with that, but before he can even get past the opening statement of his list of all the reasons why this is a Bad Idea, Jane stabs herself in the leg with the needle. His face is the most hilarious thing, like ‘Aaaaand she did the thing. Of course she did the thing. Why do I even ever try to talk her out of the thing, she always just does it anyway.’ lol. But let’s not forget there, he could literally grab the antidote right out of that case and stab her with it right now, completely counteracting the drug’s effects and preventing the plan from being able to go ahead. But she begged him to do it for her-- for them-- and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her. Especially if it gives him the love of his life back. And come on, it’s not a true Jeller moment until one of them does something the other tells them not to, nearly dies, and is saved by the other, so…

In the fun bunker, the (now loosely defined) team is trying to figure out where they are (no clue), and why they were taken, and Reade immediately assumes it’s something to do with Zapata’s work at the CIA, and the two of them are immediately at each other’s throats about it before Patterson plays mediator, trying to get everyone to focus. On one hand I agree with Reade, bc the CIA is pretty shady and I don’t trust them, but Zapata’s probably right when she says that it must be about their time in the FBI since all three of them are here. However some Spanish-accented military dudes appear a moment later and tell them to break into a fancy safe or die, and hmmmm that is not quite what I expected. While Patterson assesses the crackability of the safe (fairly easy apparently, and dude how could I ever forget how much I love Patterson) Reade gets his wet-blanket on, and starts preaching about how they shouldn’t open it bc it’s a government safe and might have dangerous secrets inside etc, whereas Zapata is all “pshh, that’s a problem for another day. Today’s problem is not dying” which I fully support. And then they’re at it again (and not ‘at it’ in the sexy way, which in this moment would be uncomfortable for all kinds of reasons) but in the squabbly bickery way, but Patterson interrupts with some much needed truth bombs: Reade is mad at Zapata for leaving, Zapata’s mad at him for freezing her out after she left, and the team fell apart after Jeller left and they’re all still trying to deal with that loss. And ughhh everyone missed each other and they’re all unhappy in their separate lives and clearly the solution here is for everyone to come back to the team and stay together forever and never let Gero break them up ever again ugh. But anyhow, like all Patterson rants, this one results in everyone being like ‘sorry mom what do we need to do’ and ugh I’ve missed themmmmmm

Back in Venice, Weller is rolling a duffel bag with his estranged wife’s death-adjacent body inside. Act natural, Weller, because this would be a really awkward time to get stopped by the cops. Also sidenote, he’s rolling that bag like it doesn’t weigh much at all, which I'm going to pretend is just because he’s jacked and not because there’s actually nothing in the bag that they filmed with lol. Anyhow, the bag is now up on the altar in a church filled with bad guys, and time is running out before Jane needs the antidote. Of course the bounty guy is late. Thanks for my blood pressure issues, Blindspot. Also another sidenote, but the guy who greets him is totally a silver fox. Too bad he’s soon to be either arrested or dead. Finally his boss arrives-- he got caught up watching a glassblower, which tbh I completely understand, bc that kind of thing is awesome-- and then lolllll he listens with a stethoscope for like 2 seconds and then does a blood pressure and then declares Jane dead?? Um, no. As someone who has certified the deaths of many people in the last three years, and also interacted with a lot of death-adjacent people, let me tell you that a) a blood pressure is useless, b) he would need to listen for at LEAST two minutes with the steth, and c) there are several other simple checks he should have done that totally would have given Jane away.  But whatevs, his lack of any medical understanding totally works in our favour.  Weller is all “cool I love that she’s dead and that I’m getting all the moneys for it, hey can I have a sec with the body please?” but nope, the dude has his cronies ready to take her to the in-house crematorium (wow, talk about a one-stop shop) and Weller’s al ‘coolcoolcool’ *punches the dudes out and stabs Jane’s body right through the bag before being pulled away and having his ass handed to him*. And okay Jane would not have woken up instantly like that but DAMN if it doesn't look cool with her slowly emerging from the bag like an avenging angel (cool parallel with the pilot, of course) and then she’s all ‘how dare u hurt my man’, leading to a shot like in those cartoons where two characters are brawling inside a closed room or building and all you see is like the door bending outwards and clouds of dust puffing up and windows rattling etc, and then BAM BABY, JELLER IS BACK AND KICKING BUTT and also looking like they’re both a little turned on by it which is kind of awkward but at the same time I fully support it and Idk there’s just a lot of emotions going on rn

Rich excitedly confirms that Roman’s plan actually worked and Jane is now free, and ugh I like to think that it’s not just because he can’t believe it worked but more that he’s just really happy for them bc he ships them so much and it also means that they’re going to be coming home and basically I just  want the whole gang back together ugh. That might be a little difficult though, as Rich informs them of the not-so-good good news-- Roman sold the other three into slavery, but thankfully he’s freaking awesome (and knows it) because he’s managed to figure out where they were taken. Lol at Weller's “Ugh he’s worse than Patterson” hahahaha. Ugh I just LOVE THESE GUYS. And so the others are apparently being held by the Venezuelan government, and Rich tells Jeller where, but they can’t have any official help (Oh Stuart: “shouldn't we just call the president or something?” my sweet summer child) and so Keaton is there to hook them up with some of his contacts and goddammit why is hating him so damn hard. And awww I love that lil baby Stuart is getting to play with the big kids these days, and awww Hirst is determined to get their ‘friends’ back (not their ‘agents’ or their ‘team’) and ugh this FAMILYYYY. It’s becoming increasingly apparent that the original family of five has now been joined by the cool wine aunt, the awkward and often annoying but also kinda useful uncle, the wacky flamboyant cousin, and the shy young nerd cousin now added into the mix.

In the fun bunker, Patterson is casually cracking the safe while snacking on her MRE, while Reade whines about his own food and Zapata messes with him for entertainment. Ah, good times. Then Patterson opens the safe-- literally the others seem to be barely there for anything other than moral support-- and they realise that  the safe contains a government computer, probably with a bunch of dangerous secrets on it. Uh-oh. Before they can argue more about the merits of dying for the cause, though, the baddies arrive. They want Patterson to decrypt the computer which is gonna take a hella long time. Awww ‘we paid for the best computer specialist in the FBI’, and ughhh she really is. And then it turns out that Reade and Zapata are literally just there as incentive for her to get crackin’ or they’ll be killed. Eeeep. But our Patty Pat is a genius, and the baddies made the epic mistake of providing sustenance in the form of MREs. Basically if they use the hot packets from the food to turn the computer into a flashbang, they can distract the baddies long enough  to overpower them and escape. Ugh I’m so proud of my lil baby genius. And she makes Reade apologise to the food for badmouthing it hahaha. Man I have missed this lil team so much!!

Up in the sky, Jeller are rushing to save their buddies, but also having The Talk-- aka the ‘what are we now?’ talk, bc lbr Jane so desperately wants their life together back, both as a married couple and as kickass FBI agents, but she doesn’t know if she has the right to have it back or if it's even what he wants, and then he’s all ‘yep let’s be married again we can just sweep this past 18 months under the rug please I’m good with that let’s just do that’ and ugh Jane admits that leaving him and their life was the hardest thing she’d ever done, but-- and man does he feel the ‘but’-- she really found herself after she left him. Oh man, what a kick in the guts. I totally get what she’s saying-- it’s not that she doesn’t want to be with him, or that she can only truly be herself without him, it’s that the puppy-sitting life in backwater Colorado is just not for her (Well, duh). She did it once to make him happy, but she can’t go back to it again or she’ll go stir-crazy. Well, good thing these new tattoos have given them both the perfect excuse to go back to their lives of kicking ass in NYC! Poor Weller though, he doesn’t understand yet, and the way his voice gets a little choked up just kills me. Oh Weller, just because she discovered who she is as a person without you (bearing in mind that pretty much her entire life that she can remember, you’ve been there), doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you with all her heart!

Now Jeller are at the compound, about to search every building individually when the others save them a bunch of time by causing a hell of a ruckus (exploding computers, gunfire, all-round hell breaking loose-- you know, the usual) and so Jeller have to adjust their plans. In a big, kick-ass way. I love the three making their big escape and then seeing the tank a roll up and aim towards them and they’re all ‘shit alright you got us geez we surrender’ and then BAM, the tank destroys the bad guys’ vehicles and probably everyone’s eardrums as well. I just love the wtf moment that these three must have when Weller suddenly pops up out of the tank-- dad’s here guys! Time to go! And then they’re inside and mom is driving and they all probably think that they’re hallucinating from something in the Mexican Style chicken stew and ughhhh they must be so relieved and Jane literally drives over a car bc ain't nothing getting in the way of getting her family to safety. Also lol Patterson must have been raking it in with the app designing because she’s all ‘I gotta buy me one of these’ haha. I’d love to see her cruising around NYC in one hahaha. And then ugh Jeller are all in sync again , taking out the baddies following them and the team is half-confused, half-happy and they have so many questions and then Reade’s “We got time, this tank is slow as hell’ lolllll. Well he’s not wrong…. wonder how long it took for things to get awkward??

Aaaand the team is safely back at the NYO, and Jane is in the scanner again, and Keaton is there again for whatever reason-- oh, because he wants the CIA to take the tattoo cases, while Hirst is all ‘bish please” in her excellent southern accent. So lemme guess, this is about to be a joint task force… and yep, Reade is all ‘this is the most sensible option’ like he totally doesn’t just want Zapata back. Haha yeah Keaton, you get me on this. It’s nice to see Reade stepping up and going head to head with the big kids, though I still don’t think he’s ready to be in this position (Are we forgetting the whole Jones thing and the drug binge??). But whatevs. Reade goes to tell the team about the joint task force and they’re like yeah duh, we’re all already in’. Well, except Patterson, who is playing a little hard to get. Maybe she’s still struggling to deal with all the Sandstorm trauma? And then omg “Rich is gonna brief us in Stuart’s lab” was the perfect sentence to say right then to convince her to stay haha. Well played, Reade. Patterson is not happy at all about Rich being involved, though Reade defends him which feels kinda weird but I also like it. I wanna hear more about their interactions. Again, spin-off, anyone?? Weller is all ‘oh god please where is the briefing just give us the briefing’ so after a lil more Patterson/Rich bickering (ah how I’ve missed that), Stuart tells them what they already know-- lots of tattoos to crack, so they better get…. Cracking (*insert finger guns here*). Patterson is now all in, refusing to leave this to Rich and Stuart (“No offense Stuart” hahahaha), and Jane is in too, despite Hirst offering for her to be free if she wants. Aww, Hirst. You are a sweetie pie. And then Rich: “Backstreets back alright! Six best friends and Stuart!” And UGH YES. Give me all the Rich, and all the Patterson and the Stuart and the ughhhh all of it. I do love that all joking aside, Rich does very genuinely tell Jane it's nice to see her again. He loves his Jane and he would do anything for her ugh

Oooh Jeller in their old apartment, and he’s all unsure whether she really wants to be there with him and she makes it clear that there’s nowhere else she wants to be, and yaaaas my boy acknowledges that the move to Colorado really didn’t fit her and that she’d given up a lot of her own happiness and personal meaning just to make him happy. So now they just need to strike a balance, which is all she wants-- to be there with him and be happy and in luuuurve while also kicking butt and saving people.  And then ugh he pulls her ring out of his pocket and he’s been carrying it EVERY DAY since she left and he rushes to tell her that she doesn’t have to put it back on until she’s ready and ugh she takes it and kisses him and then lord save me from how husky her voice goes when she tells him she’s missed him so much and ughhhhh he’s missed her too and ugh my babies are about to have reunion sex on multiple surfaces in the house and I’m so happy for them. Damn Gero yet again you have managed to make the thought of 18 awful months completely disappear in the face of this excellence, and it’s all too easy to just let you make me forget, and ugh I want to stay upset about it but I just can’t. Damn it you crafty wizard, how have you gotten me so under your spell….

Lol Aunty Hirst checking in with Reade, seeing if he’s okay with all his fam coming back, but also warning him (and us) that none of these people are the same as they were two years ago. And to prove that point, uncle Keaton and Zapata are having their own, much shadier  little conference about one of the tattoos, one that clearly points to something related to either them or the CIA in general, but it’s something they’re both very familiar with and won’t let the others find out about. Oooh, secrets. Speaking of secrets, Rich and Patterson have apparently been interacting regularly over the last two years??? And before anyone goes there, NO, I  I don’t think their relationship is at all romantic or sexual. I think they’ve been business partners of a sort (probably with Boston as well, since he and Patterson kinda became buds) and I also think that Patterson has been secretly helping Rich help the FBI with their cases. But again, I want to hear ALL about whatever they’ve been up to bc ugh I love these two and their dynamic though I also kinda wanna give Rich a hug and tell Patterson to be nicer to her weirdo cousin haha. Oh wait, you thought we were done with the secrets???? Nope, Jane is looking unhappy and  hiding a bunch of passports (probably given to her by Keaton) away the moment Weller leaves, and he steps outside their (apparently-renovated) building and immediately encounters Roman, who basically blackmails him to help him with tattoo-related stuff or he’ll tell Jane about ‘what happened in Berlin’. Weller is agrees to help immediately, which kinda makes it seem like whatever happened in Berlin was really, really bad. And again NO IT WAS NOT SOMETHING ROMANTIC OR SEXUAL. Geez, people. Neither Jane nor Weller would have slept with anyone else during their separation. To think so would be to have no understanding of either of the characters, or their character growth. Far more likely Weller did something that would be considered illegal or amoral, like killing someone, or something. Personally I think he and Roman encountered each other in Berlin and had an altercation wherein Weller injured and very nearly killed Roman, and Roman only survived by pure luck? That feels like a thing he’d want to keep from Jane, that he nearly killed her only family? Plus then he would kind of ‘owe’ Roman as well,. But idk, maybe it was something even shadier. Guess we’ll find out….

And so okay, I admit it. You've won, Gero. You’ve done a ton of things that have upset me or that I object to on multiple levels, but try as I might I can’t escape from your web. Looks like I’m stuck with this show, which means you guys are stuck with me and my recaps...

[gotgifsandmusings]

GoT 7x02 Musings

My initial reaction to “Stormborn”

Oh man! Bryan Cogman did the best with what they gave him but boy did I feel sorry for the guy for trying to patch up at least 3 years of sloppy writing and worldbuilding. His exposition fests were more organic than “the biggest forces in the North are the UMBERS and the KARSTARKS and the MANDERLYS” so snaps there, but it’s hard to reconcile everything against the massive inconsistencies at this point.

Dragonstone

This show made me feel something, guys. FEEL something!

Yeah, I mean the MissWorm scene, as I talked about last night. It was tasteful, the shooting was explicit without feeling voyeuristic, and even though I think it went on a hair too long, everything about it worked—especially where they were both coming from and the amazing acting.

If one or both of them dies, I’m going to…idk, devote my life to talking about what a bad show it is?

Then there was everything else.

Hey pro-tip: if you have to exposit about the name of the episode IN the episode, it’s probably not a worthy name

I think it’s great that there was actually continuity. Deadpan questioned why Varys Marx was there since he, you know, tried to kill her. Tyrion was pissed off at Faullaria for murdering Madison. It was almost intrigue!

But all of it was short-lived. Varys goes on and on about how his allegiance is to the realm, but then ends with a shrug of “I choose you” for ~~reasons~~ (without ever clarifying what he saw in Viserys when she asked him), and Deadpan decides that he’s nifty to keep around for equal ~~reasons~~. Because he secured her an alliance with people who murdered their own family?

Tyrion and Faullaria wasn’t even given 10 seconds of consideration though. Tyrion was pissed but oh well. Dems da berries.

Mel popped in, and I got super distracted by the cinematography for some reason. It was like I could see their pores or something. But I did have to appreciate Missandei dropping the language knowledge on us about how it could be the “prince or princess” that was promised. She’d have a field day with the King James Bible.

Anyway, most of these scenes didn’t land because it quickly became the Tyrion Lannister is Gr8 show

He knows about Jonny and it’s his opinion that matters on it

He presents the entire plan about Deadpan’s military moves even though this is the first time we see her meeting with her allies

She parrots him in anything she adds, which is little

Yeah, I know he’s a Hand, but this just fits into the overall pattern of Deadpan’s infantilization.

Also this plan sucks. Like, super sucks. It just felt like them going “okay there’s no way Deadpan wouldn’t cream the Lannisters, so let’s just…have them arbitrarily split up troops so they can have a major force taken out and a reason to not be immediately successful.” Go take Casterly Rock. Maybe it’ll be another empty castle!

“Be a dragon.” Yahhhhhhssss empowerment!!!!

Winterhell

Oh, was there not enough praise for Tyrion on Dragonstone? Don’t worry, Jonny and Sansa get to talk about how great he was too

Ngl, I forgot Davos existed as a character on the show still

It is so damn stupid that Jonny didn’t meet with Sansa beforehand to discuss how he’s going to travel to Dragonstone and put her in charge. She brought up legit concerns, and basically it paints a picture of disarray and incompetence on Jonny’s part that has his lords shouting down his decisions every day

Also now the Northern Lords Remember? About the Mad King? But not about the Red Wedding and the Boltons’ assumed role in it? Or their fealty to the…ah forget it

Honestly if I were Sansa, I’d coalition build and take charge of this shit, because Jonny is going to get all their asses killed.

And the crypts scene. God. Neither Jonny nor Batfinger had a reason to talk to one another, but they still went down there so…Batfinger could say he thought Sansa was hawt. All for the result of “no she’s MY property.” Yum.

Hogwarts

There’s a possible cure for greyscale but rather than testing it more, the leper colony system was set up??

This also just made me wonder why Jorah didn’t lop off his finger when this first happened. JonCon had a specific reason for not doing that, and for wanting to see the invasion through, and because it’s an INTERNAL DISEASE, amputation wasn’t a sure thing anyway.

But no. Flaying works.

Gonna be honest, I have major medical squicks, so I couldn’t really watch this scene. I’m sure it was intriguing.

Arya

Love that Arya seemed apathetic about meeting up with Hot Pie again. Like…what the fuck, she was being so rude! Are we supposed to think she’s feral? But then, the too-feral Nymeria wouldn’t go with her because “that’s not her” (this was in evidence), so Arya is soft for wanting to go back to Winterhell? WHAT IS HAPPENING

Honestly, no clue what they were going for. I’m not convinced Maisie Williams knew either.

What a CLEVER way to save on the CGI budget.

Cheryl’s Landing

By the way, it is such common-knowledge that Cheryl blew everyone up that even HOT PIE knows it, but yet people are still giving her the time of day?

And I could totally have bought Tarly picking her side out of his extreme hatred for non-Westerosi (Dothraki) like he had for Wildlings, literally his ONLY DEFINING TRAIT, but they didn’t even mention that! They said he was undecided?

Then why did you schlep down there with Billy Bones? Just to hear her out?

Is Olenna serving as Lord Paramount officially, then? And Deadpan’s dragons seriously don’t change Randyll’s calculus?

Balerion’s skull was not as large as I imagined, but I actually think Cheryl having an anti-dragon bow mostly works. And could help save on even more CGI costs!

Yallaria and Euron the Burninator

Okay the Sand Fakes are officially the worst characters written in the history of anything ever. Glad they’re super mean to each other to the end.

Yallaria didn’t live up to the hype. I mean “foreign invasion” is just…oh my god what the fuck did I just watch. And it was so obviously written by a straight dude, I can’t even begin to describe. Pure swill for a titillating trailer shot, and I’m not crying it was interrupted

I couldn’t see or follow this battle at all. Euron had fireballs and was an OP fighter, a la Ramsay being armorless and surrounded by a field of corpses in 5x10. Nifty.

This was so obviously just “we need him to capture Yara and Faullaria” (and I’m assuming they think a unique death will be dramatically satisfying for Tyene) that it was hard to be invested in anything

Aaaand once again Theon’s PTSD is framed as a horrible negative and what a shit how could he leave his sister like that and oh my god didn’t he go back to being the old, useful Theon? Just. Icing on the craptastic cake. What a horrible fucking pattern, and it’s just. It’s not okay.

Top 3 nitpicks:

Let’s take Casterly Rock by the sea!

The magical greyscale cure

Deadpan’s peeps not knowing about the massive iron fleet? Or maybe Euron magically knowing that Deadpan’s peeps were heading to Dorne over Cheryl’s Landing?

I guess it wasn’t like...that bad? I mean it wasn’t Season 5 or 6 level. But idk, I’m just having trouble seeing many positives, even when Cogman did what he could to create a sense of continuity and meaning. Am I alone with that? 

[elenatria]

ngl, i feel like GOT is going downhill very quickly this season. like the battle scenes are amazing, but so many characters (jaime etc.) have just lost all the character development they've built up over the past few seasons and i feel like the plot is just fanservice-y and rushed :/ idk man just my opinion lol

UGH!!! Finally, someone dares talk about the elephant in the room here.

Every guy friend of mine contacted me when ep 4 leaked geekgasming over the “awesome ep 4″. The fight scenes are glorious of course, although my personal favourite is still Euron attacking Yara and  Theon’s fleet.

But. BUT!!!! 

1) Do I even care if Drogon is injured (has happened before), if Daenerys burns the Lannister forces to the ground, if Jaime survives? (of COURSE he will I’m just saying). We know who survives so we’re not that involved anymore. Why? Because LEAKS. Biggest mistake ever.

2) Jaime. Obviously, I’ve put all my faith in Jaime just like everyone else. I hear he’s nothing like book Jaime (his character has been slaughtered). Also he’s the rival to my OTP but STILL I can appreciate his character, his edge, his snark, while I always believed he’s  gonna do the right thing, and he will. But he’s spent half this season serving Cersei, no questions asked, and brooding when he’s met with an antagonist to Cersei’s bed. Just that. The last scene with him I truly enjoyed was when he was with Edmure. I thought “What a BRILLIANT asshole, kudos for making me hate him while doing the right thing.” Do I have to wait for Brienne to meet him in King’s Landing in order to care for him again?…

3) Daenerys. I loved Daenerys when she was a heartbroken widow, an underdog and a saviour. Then she turned all snobbish queen with fucking buddies and people she steps on just because she can. How can I relate to that?

4) Jon. Sigh, I’m still Team Snow, and one of the reasons why I loved Tormund at first was because he befriended Jon, our beloved self-sacrificing Christ figure. But how fanservicey can you get, Jon?? Right now he’s only there to a) mine dragonglass b) fall in love with Daenerys c) fight with Sansa. Those scenes are wayyyyyy too long and unnecessary. 

5) Bran. All of a sudden he’s hardly human anymore, he has no feelings so no one cares if he lives or dies. His sole purpose is to spread the truths he knows and possibly warg into something. He’s just that, a tool, a plot device.

6) Arya. Sure she’s badass and everything but am I *really* interested in a girl who hardly recognizes her old friends anymore and is so ready to show off her hard-earned skills? I know she has changed, she’s now an emotionless killing machine (and Sansa needs to know that) but how is that supposed to keep me interested?

7) Tyrion is now Daenerys’ consultant, just that. We only caught a  glimpse of the loving brother he once was as he was watching Jaime from afar, probably foreshadowing their meeting. But what happened to the rest of his character? Why is he there only for Daenerys?

5) Podrick. His scenes with Brienne used to be SO deep and heartfelt and now he’s reduced to a mere punchbag. I was hoping his training sessions would add up to something, him being badass. With the newest s08 leaks I’m not so certain anymore…

6) Olenna. She deserved more screen time but she got killed off way too early, Ellaria as well. And Tyene, what happened to her sexy promise to Bronn? All their little speeches about being allies went for nothing, they appeared in this new season only to die. How lame and rushed is that. 

And I don’t even know what to say about Brienne and Tormund, it hurts too much. 

Ok I always knew Tormund was more expendable than Brienne. Right now he does his best with the little time he’s given. But they’ve reduced him to no more than Jon’s servant. And if I can judge by the s08 leaks I’ve read…

Brienne  serves a specific purpose as well, she’s there to protect a Stark (just like Tormund is there only to fight for a Stark) and to motivate Jaime to be “a better man”. You can’t become more of a “tool” than that. 

And I’ll just put it out there and take it as you will: I can’t stand her character anymore. >__< I can’t!!! *cries uncontrollably* I’m a Briemund shipper and I’m tired of seeing her so stuck up. I mean, every scene with her, each one of her expressions, her voice… they’re adorable, you know? She makes me want to be reborn as a man (ginger and bearded preferably), learn sword fighting just to be cut down to pieces by her, praise her voice, her legs, her skin night and day, and adore the very earth she walks on.  And it’s SO frustrating for me to always find her gorgeous and badass and sexy and skilled and… and not see her change one bit towards Tormund. 

To he honest I never expected Briemund to happen but I was hoping for something tiny at least, a glance, a nice word, a smile, that kind of thing. I admit that in my wildest dreams we would be treated with an awesome sparring session between them. But no, D&D gave that to Arya. I’m jealous, y’know?

And I’ve come to the point of believing that Brienne’s meeting with Tormund is an utterly pointless comic relief. It’s infuriating how pointless it is.

I’ve lost all hope and drive to tell you the truth. To the point that I don’t even know if I will care what happens in GoT after my favourite characters die  without getting the glorious deaths they deserved. 

All in all, I don’t think the remaining 3 episodes will be able to rescue this season. Season 6 made me love Tormund just as Tormund made me love season 6; a season filled with brilliant moments, Briemund being just one of them, the cherry on top. 

Season 7 is simply not cutting it.