#nice to see bree's thoughts again

[bookwyrminspiration]

htbd update…why was adrian like “idk why i’m so worried abt commoner stuff” bro

(I'm a little behind, this references s2e66) He has a lot to unlearn, and he seems to be unlearning it, but that takes time and does mean there will be rough patches and insensitive moments. So like, I'm proud of him and want him to continue, but he absolutely has mistakes to apologize for along the way.

He seems to just want everything to be over and done with, and while that would be nice...it doesn't work like that, bud. You've gotta face it head on and work through it, and you need to let everyone else work through it, too. Even if it takes them longer than you. Even if they don't forgive you.

anyway. he's gotta start somewhere

I was gonna say this in the tags but actually I'm gonna just tack it on: I find it interesting that on some level he is aware of his skewed perspective. he comments that noticing and being bothered by sharing a bathroom with others is so inane and ridiculous considering he's just had his humanity forcibly stripped away and betrayed the people closest to him. and yet, as mundane as it is, it still chafes. there's an awareness, but not enough (yet) to overwrite his preconceived notions and experiences. something to work on

[cuteandhughesy]

I’ll Be Home For Christmas ╰┈➤ NH13

summary: nico hischier acting as your fake boyfriend to try and get your family off your back this holiday season seems like the perfect solution - or so you thought.

[word count] 14.9k

warnings: SFW! fake dating | friends to lovers | suggestive themes and dialogue | kissing | jealousy | angst | fluff | mentions of anxiety | mature themes and dialogue | read at your own discretion

a/n: based off this request! is this a plot i’ve seen before? absolutely! do i eat it up every time? ABSOLUTELY! hope you guys enjoy my third fic of my christmas special—I cant believe it’s almost christmas 🎄 this was originally supposed to go up on Christmas eve, but i finished it early 😘

🎵 i’ll be home for christmas by michael buble, christmas morning by megan moroney, someone like you by van morrison, run rudolph run by chuck berry, little saint nick by the beach boys, christmases when you were mine by taylor swift, blue christmas by megan moroney, + my only wish (this year) by britney spears

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"I think the only way to solve this is if I jump off the highest mountain in jersey."

bree pauses her stirring hand, glancing at you sternly over her shoulder. "don't jump off anything, y/n/n."

you let out another unsatisfied grunt, a disgruntled noise that has come out your mouth many times since you arrived at your best friend's apartment - and you've only been here an hour.

the sound of the wooden spoon scraping along the metal soup pot starts up again, bree continuing to mix her homemade chicken vegetable soup she coerced you over with.

you watch the blonde with a pout on your slightly chapped lips - but it matches the rest of your appearance, so you're not even bothered that they are dry. resting your chin in the palm of your hand, you can't help but zone out and drown in your own dreadful bubble.

you've been feeling overwhelmed and stressed since last night. it started as you'd just finished eating your sad excuse of a frozen meal dinner, beginning to queue up the next episode of stranger things - when your evening was interrupted with your mom’s call.

"mom? is anything okay?" you answer quickly, brows pulled together in a curious manner.

you can hear her gentle laughter through the grainy line. "don't sound so scared to speak to me, honey. everything is fine."

you sigh. "just wasn't expecting a late night call is all....what's up?"

"well," she singsongs, and you can practically hear her wide smile through the phone. "you remember my friend susan, right? from work?" you hum once, so your mom continues. "well she has a son named scott, and he's around your age."

"why are you telling me this?"

she tuts her tongue like it should be obvious. "they are staying at same same skii cabin resort as us this christmas! and you're still single so I want you to meet each other - get to know one another."

that has you sitting up in a hurry, she's blown wide as you take in your moms words. "mom, no i'm not going to entertain this."

"why not? he's nice and cute-" your moms familiar voice fades into the background, as you can't focus on anything but the swirl of panicked thoughts in your head.

you've been single for three years - three years since your last boyfriend cheated on you with his macdonald's co-worker. honestly his first red flag should've been working at macdonald's at his big age of 28 - you should've broke up with him right then and there.

since then, your mom has been wanting you to get back out there, and 'give her grand babies' - you try to not shutter just thinking about it. she's been trying to get you to meet a million different young men, changing between her friends kids and even random baristas she meets at her local starbucks. and honestly you're just tired of it.

you won't find the love of your life through your mom - and it seems that only you can see the logic behind that.

you'd been looking forward to the few days away from the city for christmas, especially with your boss really coming down on you about upcoming new year business proposals that were honestly out of your job description. now your extended weekend that was supposed to relaxing and festive was tainted by your mom and this mysterious scott dude.

you come back to, your mom still lengthly explaining the christmas plans and scott and everything else in between. you huff anxiously, and before your brain can stop the word vomit that is festering on your tongue, you interrupt her.

"i'm bringing someone to christmas."

the blabbering in your ear comes to a quick stop, your mom going completely silent on the line.  "who?"

you swallow, "my boyfriend."

the conversation went on for a bit longer, and you had blabbed about your fake boyfriend without giving away any type of physical details- heck you even avoided giving him a name. when your mom had asked, you told her that you didn't want to give anything away - the element of surprise much more enjoyable.

you cringe thinking back on it, closing your eyes tightly. you are so screwed.

the front door opens quickly, alerting you and bree to her boyfriends arrival. it's only a few seconds following the thud of his hockey bag hitting the hardwood floor that dougie saunters into the kitchen, hair still damp from his post-practice shower.

he looks up from his phone, finding you sitting with a frown at his kitchen island. "what's up with you?"

this time it's bree who groans out. she takes the spoon out of the soup and sets in on the countertop, spinning on her heels to look at you and her boyfriend properly—without straining her neck. "don't get her started."

you squawk. "bree! you're supposed to be consoling me."

she pouts at you, "I know - i'm sorry." bree swiftly moves towards you, wrapping her small arms over your shoulders sweetly. she smells like broth and caramel perfume, which is an oddly comforting scent. "I just don't like seeing you so stressed."

dougie peeks in the soup pot, humming softly at the sight of the various vegetables swimming among perfectly shredded meat. he turns back to you both, leaning back against the counter as he stares you down. "so are you going to tell me? or do I have to wait for you to leave, which inevitably will have bree spilling her guts."

"dougie!" your best friend screeches, eyeing her boyfriend wildly.

you all but whine, letting your eyes fall closed in pure embarrassment. "I'm screwed." you manage to mumble, one eye peeking open to look over at dougie.

he looks rather amused at your dramatics, and you kind of want to get swallowed up and never be let go. "why?"

you take a deep breath. "because....because I told my mom that I had a boyfriend and was bringing him to christmas."

dougie snorts and bree sends him a warning glare. immediately he stops, playing off the laugh with a small cough. "you don't have a boyfriend."

you eye him irritatedly. "you think I don't know that?" bree, like the most amazing and supportive friend she is, begins gently rubbing your shoulder, grounding you. you take another shaky breath, your earlier pout returning. "I just...my mom was all pushy and wanted me to meet her co-workers son and I just panicked."

bree gently pipes up. "you didn't give him a name or talk about his appearance, y/n/n - it gives you some freedom in trying to find someone. maybe you should re-download hinge and make it known in your bio that you're needing a christmas date."

you pull a face, the thought of scrolling through medacore men who don't meet your ethical standards and are most likely teetering on borderline homophobic doesn't sound appealing - like, at all. "i'm going to pretend I can't go - i'll just tell my mom something came up."

"hold on," dougie steps forward, resting his palms on the island. he looks between you and bree, his brows pulled together as he gathers his thoughts. "you didn't give your mom a name?"

you hum. "or any physical attributes."

a ghost of a smile tugs at his lips, and he looks rather pleased with what we thought he's conjured up in his mind. "hear me out here...what If you take nico?"

you blink once. and then you blink again.

behind you, bree gasps. "that's a good idea!"

you shake your head, clearly confused. "he's not going home for christmas?"

dougie shakes his head. "no, the schedule didn't work in his favour, and his parents can't come out for a four day break. he was telling me today he was just going to be alone at his apartment....but maybe he could go with you."

it's....its actually not a bad idea. you like nico, he's always been so kind and sweet anytime you two have been together - which, granted, was quite often. surprisingly enough, nico and dougie were really good friends, and anytime you, bree and him wanted to go out, dougie would have nico join along. it's been like that for a few years, and the dynamic between you and nico was easy.

but...."no, I can't put him through that. you know how my mom is, and she's going to be all over him! and my sister and her husband, and god I can't have my niece getting attached....I just can't."

"you can." dougie hums, pulling out his phone from his sweatpant pocket. "you're just making excuses - nico won't care if your family asks questions. he's a team player who will easily help you with all your problems." he's busy swiping on his phone, barley glancing at you as he talks. "plus, it's not like he'll be out of your life after this - I already know he will be your fake boyfriend as long as you need him to be."

"dougie, no." you sigh.

"yes."

"no."

"too late," dougie hums, "i'm face timing him right now."

you left watching in horror, dougie coming around to your and bree's side of the kitchen island. you squawk, "absolutely no - dougie don't." 

he's setting his phone up against the vase of flowers in the middle of the counter, displaying all three of you on the ringing face time screen. dougie looks at you, and grimaces. "try and look pretty. you look like a mess - c'mon."

bree smacks his arm. "dougie!"

you're not even going to disagree with him, because you do look like a mess. your hair is slicked back with your own oil - too lazy to get into the shower before coming over. your face is bare and you're in the middle of your period, with lingering hormonal pimples littering along your chin and jawbone. all that combined with your anxious eye bags, dry skin and ice cream stained pyjama shirt - well let's just say you've looked better.

your eyes widen as the sound of the call changes, indicating that nico is picking up the phone. "seriously I don't - heyyy nico." your hushed and panicked whisper towards your best friend's boyfriend quickly changes as nico hischier’s face takes over dougie’s phone screen.

"....hey?" he looks confused, and rightfully so. you're sure the last thing he expected with a call from his assistant captain was to be met with not only him, but his sheepish looking girlfriend and her hot mess best friend as well. his eyes move between the three of you, brows pulled tightly. "you guys okay?"

his accent sounds thicker through the phone, voice deeper....it's kind of comforting and as soon as your brain registers that calm feeling, it lets you spew. you begin telling nico all about your situation, but it seems that dougie and bree has the same idea, and all nico can hear is a jumbled sentence.

"y/n needs your help." dougie says, the words barley reaching nico's ears over bree's - "and she's just really stressed." that combined with your pouty lips as you tell him, "and his name is scott - like what kind of name is scott?"

you all come to a stop, eyeing nico through the phone screen. he adjusts the angle of his phone, giving you a glimpse of his location, which seems to be on his couch. "you're going to have to say that again, y/n. couldn't hear you over dougie's loud mouth."

so you tell nico everything - just you this time - starting with getting the phone call, your mom trying to set you up, your fake boyfriend lie and dougie's reason for the facetime. the entire time nico listens, not even interrupting you once as he digests the spoonfuls of information.

you sigh gently, "and dougie shouldn't of called you, nico. I really don't want to ruin your christmas by dragging you into my mess and-"

"i'll help you out." this time, nico does interrupt you, his soothing voice agreeing to the whole fake boyfriend story you'd thrown at him, cutting off the end of your lengthy ramble.

"really? why?"

he shrugs through the screen, a gentle smile beginning to pull on his face. "i'm not doing anything else. you're my friend, y/n, I want to help you out."

the relief that floods through you is ethereal, and you can already feel some of the stress leave your body. "nico, thank you...thank you, oh my god, okay I'll text you the details."

he grins. "looking forward to it."

the phone call ends just as the soup starts to bubble loudly on the stove, which has bree cursing, skipping back towards her food and turning down the burner. as she returns to stirring the mixture, she shrieks happily, glancing back at you. "no hinge needed!"

"you're welcome." dougie chimes playfully, pocketing his phone before he moves to grab three bowls from the cupboard, ready to serve some of bree’s delicious chicken vegetable soup.

although you're feeling stress free about the actual boyfriend part of finding a fake boyfriend— thanks to the devils captain— there is still the matter of having to prep nico for your family, as well as playing pretend with one another in hopes of convincing your family that you and nico are in love.

....and the stress is back, prickling under your skin in a way that has you jittery. you can only just pray nico doesn't get overwhelmed and ditch you on the side of the road on the way up to the lodge, leaving you to fend for yourself while he speeds back to the city.

bree slides the hot bowl full of soup in your direction, plopping the gold spoon into the liquid before she leaves. you thank her gently, and as you dig in into the meaty broth, you begin to create somewhat of a plan for you and your fake boyfriend.

DAY 1

you text nico after leaving bree and dougie's apartment once you had settled back at your place, assuming your usual lounging position on the living room couch. you send him the main details of your family christmas getaway like the name of the resort and it's location, as well as when you'll be leaving and how long you'll be staying.

thankfully, the devils schedule almost perfectly aligned with your families getaway, meaning that nico would be able to spend the entire holiday season with you and your family—he just has to leave early on the 25th for the boxing day game—which you can't yet decide if you're relieved about or stressed about.

regardless, three days after your impromptu facetime call on dougie's phone, you and nico are packed up in his car, backseat full luggage and various wrapped presents— all ready to head up to the ski lodge.

it’s been 5 minutes since nico pulled out of your driveway, and you still haven't said anything other than your initial greeting. the pressure of the day ahead is knawing away at you, turning your stomach into a wave pool of nerves.

the christmas music flows quietly through the speakers, providing a comforting hum in the background. nico keeps switching his gaze from the road to the side of your face, analyzing your anxious eyes as you zone out, nibbling the skin around your thumb nail.

he sighs gently and with a free hand turns the already quiet music completely off. the lack of the original taylor swift christmas song in your ears snaps you out of your daydreaming, looking over at nico with a tight pull to your eyebrows.

"why does your face look like that?"

you frown, "like what?"

"like you've just shoved your nose full of expired smelling salts," nico smirks at his own joke, glancing over at you once again. "seriously what's going on that head?"

you take a deep breath, your mouth opening and closing like a tiny fish—unsure what you want to admit. you don't want to seem ungrateful for nico‘s help by complaining, and you don't want to look stupid and embarrass yourself for being so nervous about spending christmas with your family. after a moment, you let out a quiet sigh, glancing over at nico.

his flickering gaze is soft—comforting—and it has you faltering, head falling back against the head rest with a thud. "I can't lie." nico huffs a laugh, and you almost scoff at the sound. "i'm serious - I can't lie."

"technically, you're not lying."

you eyes widen comically, looking over at him wildly. "what part of this trip isn't based on a lie."

he sighs gently, fingers flicking on the cars turn signal as he approaches the highway lane. nico has always been so nonchalant in your presence, the complete opposite of you at any give moment, and honestly you're envious of that. he glances at you quickly, pulling onto the highway. "I mean, it's not like we are strangers—we're friends."

you don't say anything, too busy trying to understand what he actually means by that. nico smirks easily at you, "so we only have to pretend that we kiss and well....fuck."

you blush. "nico!"

“it’s true.” amused, he looks at you. "and, well, you can't turn red anytime someone makes a suggestive comment.”

groaning, you pull your knees to your chest, creating a spot for you to hide your burning face, tucking your head between your kneecaps. "can't help it." you say, but all nico can hear is your muffled voice making no sense as you talk into your legs.

"it's okay." he reassures you lightly. "so, what's your family like? what do I need to know?" he changes the flow of topic easily, which successfully has you pulling your head up.

"well." you start, voice a pitch higher than normal—contemplating what to say. “my mom she's very.....out there. she's not shy, and her social awareness isn't very high, meaning she doesn't care about strangers or what they think of her." your eyes flicker away from the busy highway infront of you, looking over at nico to gauge his reaction.

he hums, "what else?"

you sigh, eyes finding the road once again. "she also loves me...too much I think. and she always wants what's best for me — even if she thinks that's scott."

"she sounds fun." nico's words take you by surprise, because fun usually isn't the first word that comes to mind after describing your dear mother. you quickly turn your head, but much to your surprise, nico isn't joking. he's being sincere—smiling softly. "honestly she sounds like my mom."

the mention of nico's family has you feeling a bit hallow, and you remember the only reason he's able to help you out is because he couldn't fly out to be with his family. you tuck your bottom lip between your teeth, nibbling the skin until it feels sore. "i'm sorry about your family, nico. I really wish it would've worked out for christmas."

he shrugs once, glancing back over at you. "it's not your fault. besides, i'm here with you, right? so my christmas is coming together." you deflate slightly, nico's sweet and almost vulnerable words leaving you feeling rather soft. "so who else will be there? besides your mom and this scott guy?"

you huff a laugh, "well I don't know how much of scott we will be seeing now that i'm bringing you, but I do know that my older sister, tammy and her husband brody will be there. along with my niece, taylor - hence the disney princess wrapping paper." you thumb over your shoulder where there are multiple oddly shaped presents, all wrapped in disney paper.

nico snickers, sending you a teasing look. "thought you were just wrapping your own gifts."

"nico!" you laugh sweetly, "you’re ridiculous."

he smiles. "okay, okay. how old is your niece?"

"she just turned 6, back in november." you hum, leaning over slightly to turn the radio back up—only at volume 2—letting the familiar jingles add to the ambiance of the snowy jersey weather.

one of nico's brows raise. "so you've got a birthday twin?"

"wha-how do you know my birthday is in november?" you're clearly baffled, looking at nico like he just told you he met your long lost twin.

he glances at you wildly. "I don't have a brick for a brain! c'mon y/n/n, just because dougie is a stupid hockey player doesn't mean I am."

a dig at your best friends boyfriend never fails to make you chuckle, and you wrap your arms around yourself tighter, keeping yourself warm. although nico was joking around, you still aren't sure how he knew the month you were born in—how he remembered when your birthday was. it's just not something you thought nico would take note of. you don't do big parties for yourself, and you don't even post to social media—bree being one of the only people to celebrate you online.

your laughter dies down gently. "i'm just suprised that you'd remember."

his lips tug downwards in the beginning of a frown. "why would I forget?" nico's eyes flicker to yours once again, holding your gaze with a soft and warm expression. you take in a shaky breath, unable to find yourself wanting to look away from nico. his words, although nothing that deep, feel like the bottom of a warm lake, heating your chest with his question. it's a bare minimum that you've yet to experience with any boyfriend, real or fake.

he clears his throat quickly, eyes flickering away from your face and back through the snowflake covered windshield. "okay, what are our rules here? I don't want you to be uncomfortable with any of this fake dating stuff."

"oh. right, ummmm-" you blink, trying to recover from the abrupt shift in conversation and shift in your heart. "well to start, any question that my family asks about us and how we met, just tell them the truth. no need to fabricate some elaborate story—especially considering i've brought you up before...god my mom is going to die when she sees you." you mumble the last part to yourself, already picturing your moms face when you tell her the nico you're dating is also your friend nico.

he doesn't hear the end of your scentence, and only nods understandably, switching lanes. "got it."

you continue, "and this relationship between us is a new thing-- i'm talking’s within the last two months new. if they ask we say that we were just testing the waters of our relationship. and that gives me an excuse of why I hadn't told my mom about us before tuesday."

"that's good" nico hums appreciatively, clearly impressed with the little plan you'd made for you both. "plus it will make us look less insane when we are all over other and acting lovey dovey. that it’s just the honey moon phase."

your belly swoops, and your eyes widen in a slight panic. "why would we be all over each other?"

nico looks almost dumbfounded at your rushed question, his brows practically touching the edge of the hockey branded beanie sitting across his forehead. "because we are supposed to be dating."

you feel a little stupid in that moment, and when the end of nico's reminder is accompanied by a teasing smile you begin to feel very embarrassed. you try not to face palm, clearing your throat. "right, duh! that makes sense then." nico nods in amusement, which really has you wanting to face palm.

wanting to get back to the earlier discussion of rules, you hum in continuation. "I think cuddling and stuff is fine, right? like we can cuddle on the couch and hold hands in town."

"if you're comfortable with that." nico says, shooting you a glance, taking in your face to try and dissect your expression—trying to find an answer on your face before you say anything.

you laugh once, and even that sounds weird—no wonder nico keeps looking at you. "why wouldn't I be?"

"you're turning red just talking about it."

you face falls. "i'm going to throw myself out of this car."

"no, no." nico chuckles. "any other rules you want to lay down?" his eyes twinkle with playfulness as he shoots you another glance. "like what about kissing?"

obviously you blush because what. you don't let yourself react in the way your body desperately wants to, instead you keep your posture the same, humming in thought. "we don't need to kiss unless absolutely necessary."

once again, your eyes fall back to the driver's side, looking at nico as you wait for his response. you watch him smirk softly, eyes still on the busy roadways as he answers. "sure."

the rest of the car ride is filled with easy conversation and multiple impromptu karaoke sessions— nico laughing anytime you turn the music up and claim that it's impossible to not sing along to a justin bieber christmas song. the easiness of the whole dynamic between you and nico has you feeling much more at ease than you'd been when he first picked you up, and the idea of bringing nico to meet your family is becoming increasingly less stressful.

that is until your mom open the door, squealing in excitement at the sight of you and nico parking in the un-shovelled driveway of the rented ski cabin—waving at you both—your stress levels start to rise back up.

you swallow nervously, the sound of the car engine shutting off setting in your ears - there's no escape now.

"hey," nico mumbles, gathering your attention. he gently reaches towards you and gives your shoulder a reassuring and grounding squeeze. "don't worry too bad. it'll be okay."

all you can muster is a nod, watching through the front windshield as you sister peeks over your moms shoulder, her perfectly styled hair blowing in the wind.

"wanna get the bags now?"

"no," you finally speak, shaking your head. "save them for later just incase we need an escape route."

he chuckles. "okay dramatic - let's go."

with another encouraging nod from the devils captain, you unbuckle your seatbelt, getting out the car along with nico. at the sight of your face, your mom screams, waving at you like a crazy woman from the porch—the woman didn't even put on a coat before coming outside, leaving the door wide open behind her. "y/n, honey! you're here!"

"i'm here." you make your way up the pathway, nico's hand providing a ghostly pressure on your lower back as he trails behind you. "merry christmas momma."

she scoops you into a tight hug, kissing the side of your head repeatedly until it feels like all her lipgloss has transferred to your hairline. "merry christmas! and oh, honey don't be rude—introduce us to this handsome man." over your shoulder, your mom catches sight of nico and his ridiculously charming smile.

he looks so relaxed and happy that you're jealous. you're also jealous that nico manages to look that good after spending 2 hours in a car—but that's not important.

you quickly wrap your arm around nico's torso, bringing yourself into his warm side. nico easily follows suit, wrapping his hoodie covered arm around your shoulders, giving you another comforting squeeze. you smile—extra big—at your mom, rubbing your free hand over nico's covered stomach. "right of course, this is nico. my boyfriend."

recognition flashes across her face, eyes darting between you and your fake boyfriend—who you are currently cuddling with on the cold porch in front of your mom, an action that is very out of the ordinary for you. you can only pray she doesn't think too hard about everything. suddenly, she gasps. "nico?! like your friend nico?"

you scrunch your nose through a faux smile, "that's the one!"

she laughs, "is that why you were so secretive over the phone? so it would be a suprise?"

"yes." you say through gritted teeth, arm tightening around nico's muscular torso, grounding yourself through your white lies.

your mom beams again, hands clutched to her chest as she admires you both - granted your shivering and your toes are borderline frozen.

"it's nice to finally meet you, ms. y/l/n. i've heard so much about you." nico says easily, his accent perfectly complimenting his relaxed tone and demeanour. he removes his arm from your shoulders, and you fight the urge to pout from the lack of warmth, watching as nico puts his hand out for your mom.

she dismisses the formality, moving towards him with her arms wide open. "oh, honey, please call me ella - and i've heard so much about you, I can't believe you're finally here."

your eyes close in embarrassment, face flushing a deep pink as your mom embraces nico.

"mom, let them come in! it's freezing." your sisters honey laced voiced calls out from inside the house, and you can see her making her way back towards the front door, taylor on her hip as she easily saunters over.

your niece happily shouts as she catches sight of you, begging to be put down. tammy obliges, but tells her to wait until you get inside, not wanting a coat and shoeless toddler to walk onto the wintertime porch. behind her, your brother-in-law joins you, smiling and waving at you through the open door before pressing a kiss to your sisters head.

"yes, of course." you mom smiles, turning on her heels and walking through the door. "c'mon in you two, before you turn into ice."

too late—you think.

right before you and nico can pass the threshold into the log cabin, you mom puts her hand out, stopping you with a playful smile ghosting her face. you sister looks borderline fed up, closing her eyes at your moms actions, and brody just looks excited.

confused, you quirk a brow. "what's happening right now? you all look very weird."

you mom points up, "honey, you're under the mistletoe!" you smile falters, your eyes slowly moving up until you catch sight of the array of green mistletoe leaves dangling above you and nico. "it means you have to kiss - house and mistletoe rules."

nico laughs awkwardly beside you, warm eyes also on the festive plant.

"mom, no." you follow suit, chuckling through your discomfort as you set your sights back on your mom.

her brows pull together, a frown overtaking her face. "what, why not? just a little smooch?"

"they just got here, mom. at least let them take off their boots before you make them get to business." you sister—ever the saving grace—tries to move on from the discussion, sending you a wide eyed look behind your moms back.

you nod in thanks, "yeah. don't you think that's a little inappropriate?"

"why would that be inappropriate?" she gawks. "nico doesn't mind, do you?"

"I mean-"

"i'm your child, and you just met him." you interrupt whatever people-pleasing answer nico was about to spew, looking at your mom with an expression mixed up of amusement and bewilderment.

"c'mon, y/n," brody chimes in playfully. "it's not like we are asking you to suck his-" tammy smacks her husbands chest, a warning for him to not finish that scentence. "ouch, babe!"

"little ears." your sister reminds, gesturing to your six year old niece, who is still bouncing on her heels, desperate for you to get inside so she can steal you away. "don't egg her on." tammy is talking about your mom, who is still clueless on why making you kiss your supposed boyfriend when they just meet him is a bit weird.

the whole situation is stressful and overwhelming, and you kind of just want to turn around and make a run for the car. as if nico can sense your anxiety, his grip around you—now with his arm around your waist—tightens ever so slightly, reminding you that you're okay.

you swallow nervously. "let's not make nico-"

you're interrupted by the firm press of nico's lips on your cold cheek, kissing your face gently. the action seems to momentarily silence your family, but soon you can hear your mom cheer happily, mumbling something about how she 'should've taken a picture to send to your aunt shirley'

but you’re too distracted to register anything other than the lingering kiss against your cheek, and there's no doubt that your flesh is warming right under nico's lips. he pulls away, an easy smile taking over his face—like he's not even affected.

brody snickers, "see, y/n? wasn't so hard."

it seems that everyone is satisfied after that, your mom too busy texting on her phone to stop either of you from coming inside—thank god because you're pretty sure the inside temperature has dropped 10 degrees from the door being open.

as soon as you shut the door, taylor comes skipping over, her gapped tooth smile wide as she looks up at you. surprisingly, she doesn't attack you with hugs, but instead stops in front of nico. she looks up at him curiously, her hands resting on her tiny hips. "who are you?"

her bluntness has you laughing, even more so as you take in nico's amused expression, looking down at your niece softly. he bends down to meet her level, placing his hand out infront of her. "I'm nico, i'm your aunties boyfriend. what's your name?"

he already knows her name, but the formality of it all has you melting slightly, watching the interaction with an amused look. her tiny fingers splay over his palm, doing her best at shaking nico's large hand. "i'm taylor. you’re my auntie y/n's boyfriend?" her bright eyes flicker between you and nico curiously.

"I am."

she hums. "but you're too pretty for her."

you gasp, hiding your laughter. joining nico in his crouched position, you drag your giggling niece into your chest, lightly tickling her torso. "excuse you missy!"

"I don't know, taylor. I think your auntie is actually too pretty for me."

"yeah." she shrugs lightly, finally breaking free of your tickling. taylor shuffles back towards nico, "do you want to see my stuffies?"

"you have stuffies?" nico beams, "of course I want to see them." it's instantly that taylor grabs nicos fingers, leading him through the log cabin and presumably towards whichever room she's loaded off her stuffed animals in. you can hear taylor's excited babbling all the way down the hall, accompanied by nico’s enthusiastic responses as they disappear out of sight.

"honey can you go make sure she doesn't bore him to death. I can picture the tea party now." your sister sighs, looking at her husband expectantly.

"yeah," brody then looks at you, a teasing glimmer in his expression that you have grown to recognize. already, you're rolling your eyes. "I can't believe you're fucking an nhl captain y/n. good for you."

"go!" tammy hides her laugh behind her hand, but you can still hear her amusement through the muffled sound. brody waggles his eyebrows in your direction, further teasing you as he leaves.

thankfully your mom had slipped into the kitchen in the time you and nico had been talking with your niece—saving you from facing her after your brother-in-laws ludicrous comment. you can hear brody mutter something along the lines of 'course i'll go talk to the professional athlete, fuck kinda question is that?' — but you can't be so sure.

tammy grabs onto your arms, guiding you into the large, high ceiling living room. from what you've seen of the ski lodge so far, you're very impressed. it's got that rustic christmas feel that reminds you of your childhood, with grand windows and entry ways that overlook the winter scenery. with only a 5 minute drive to the hills, the resort was practically perfect.

you let your sister plop you onto the worn leather couch, the plaid throws scrunching behind your back as they slip around. tammy immediately sits down beside you—close enough that you're touching knees—facing you with wide eyes. "what the hell."

you make a face. "what?"

she scoffs a gentle laugh, eyes darting all over your warm face. "how long have you been crushing on nico?"

"what-what do you mean?" you blush timidly. you're unsure why the question has you feeling nervous—feeling caught—because nico is just a friend. a ridiculously generous friend who immediately agreed to spend christmas with your family to help you out, and is currently playing with your niece just because she wanted him to....its fine, really.

"well you've told me and mom that he was just a friend—you've been saying that for years and now you're dating? what's that about."

"oh, right." you really need to get a hang of the whole fake boyfriend thing, because the amount of times just today you've already forgotten is just criminal, and you're practically begging to get called out. you huff a gentle laugh, tucking your loose hair behind your ear shyly. "I don't know something just....changed."

"clearly." tammy laughs brightly. "how long have you been together?"

you swallow nervously, thinking back to the discussion with nico in the car about this very question. "only a few months. we kept it secret just in case...you know—bree and dougie are the only ones who knew."

tammy nods understandably, but a disgruntled expression quickly forms on her perfectly blushed face. "i'm kind of offended you told dougie before me."

"if it makes you feel any better, dougie was the one who set us up - so I didn't technically tell him anything." the twisted truth comes easily, and you give yourself a mental pat on the back for that one.

"fine. I feel a little better." tammy smiles, shifting her body so that she's tucked against your side, loungewear covered legs bent towards her chest as she relaxes into you. her blonde hair tickles your neck as she tilts her head up towards you, eyeing you with a playful undertone. "he's cute."

"hey! hit on your own man." you try and push her off of you gently, but tammy doesn't allow it, wrapping her arms around you tighter as she laughs.

"i'm just stating the obvious, y/n/n." her nickname for you has you feeling warm and fuzzy, settling back into your cuddly position. you and tammy have always been close, even with your 6 year age gap. you've always done everything together, and told one another all your secrets—so you feel guilty for not telling her about nico, even though it's not real.

"you really like him?" tammy's question is a gentle and sweet whisper, looking up at you like she just knows.

you nod, probably too fast and too enthusiastically—but thankfully tammy isn't paying attention to that, only listening to your words and watching the way your eyes change into a more relaxed and emotional state. "of course," you breathe, smiling. "I mean...he's always been really sweet and kind. always making sure I feel comfortable in a crowded room, checking in on me when he hasn't seen me in a couple days. and well, just today he's made me the most relaxed i've felt in a long time...." you trail off, clearing your throat gently. "sorry, god i'm blabbering."

tammy shakes her head softly, gently grabbing a hold of your hand. "it's okay. it's sweet."

"auntie y/n! look at nico!" the tiny and shrill voice of taylor interrupts the rather tender moment, but thankfully it allows you take take a calming breathe and let your heart rate turn back to normal. your niece skips down the hall, dragging nico behind her as they round into the living room.

the sight of nico has you stifling laughter. "oh...wow."

nico smirks, hands held out as if he was showing himself off. the princess aurora tiara nestled in his brown hair catches the setting sun, sparkling in the dimming light. that combined with the bright pink lipstick smeared around his mouth and the lime green tutu that is 5 sizes too small for a professional athlete around his hips is just too much. "handsome right?"

you hum, nodding sarcastically as he gives you and tammy a spin—showing off taylor's work. "oh yeah."

when nico faces you again, he winks—so quickly you're not even sure if it happened. it has your face warming once again, your sister nudging her pointed elbow into your side as she wordlessly teases you.

what have you gotten yourself into?

after a very amusing hour of dress up—which of course you got dragged into—you all had dinner, thanks to your mom and her random bursts of energy that allow her to cook up roast dinners every other day.

dinner went surprisingly well, and nico seemed to fit into the family dynamic nicely. it was a weight lifted off your chest as you watched him easily discuss sports with your brother in-law and excitingly answer all of your moms borderline intrusive questions. it's full of laughter and honestly you're surprised at how well everything seemingly is going—it's a relief you didn't think you'd get to experience this christmas.

after a long travel day for you and nico, you both decide to retire to bed early, leaving your sister and your mom in the living room— your mother shouting out a general explanation of which bedroom is yours as you go.

you're not sure what you were thinking, but the sight of the large bed in the middle of the room has you feeling nervous, stomach swooping at the thought of having to share a bed with nico. you suppose you believed that some part of your mom still pictured you in highschool with a boyfriend and would make you and nico sleep in separate rooms or beds.

clearly not.

the bed looks absolutely heavenly though, with lots of fluffy pillows and a nice duvet with complimenting throw blankets draped over the corner—you can't wait to sink in and pass out.

nico, who had gone and got your luggage right after dinner, drags both of your suitcases towards the dresser, the gentle click of the handle sliding back into place echoing throughout the room. he turns back to you, "I can sleep on the floor if you're uncomfortable."

your eyes snap away from the luscious bedding and over to nico—he must’ve seen your blank stare. you shake your head quickly, "no - no, we are adults. i'm not going to make you sleep on the floor."

you can practically see the relief on his face and in that moment you're completely convinced that nico would've set up camp on the rug if you asked him to.

you continue, ignoring the weird flutter in your stomach. "plus my mom will probably burst in here every morning to wake us up and I don't want to make up some lie about why my boyfriend is sleeping on the floor instead of in the bed."

"of course." he chuckles, the quiet sound settling through the warmly lit bedroom comfortably. "what side do you want?"

you snicker, waving your hand as if you're trying to appear nonchalant. "oh, i'm not picky."

nico eyes you, one brows raised in question as if he can see right through your attempt at coming across easy-going—you've never even been close to that. "are you lying?"

your shoulders deflate. "yes."

he laughs again, watching as you make your way over to the left side of the bed, tossing your phone in front of the pillows as if you were marking your territory. "it's furthest from the door." you hum like it's obvious, looking at nico with timid eyes.

"sure." he hums softly, eyes lingering one yours for a moment longer before turning away.

nico has his back turned to you, digging through his carry-on in search of his toiletry bag. you watch the way his muscles move, his compression shirt giving you the perfect view of the ripples and hard work he's put into his body. you've never really noticed how in shape nico is—I mean sure you've like noticed he's got muscles because he's a professional hockey player...but you've never appreciated them like you are right now.

"y/n?"

you blink. "huh?"

nico smirks, and you instantly realize he's caught you checking him out. you blush wildly, trying your best not to collapse into an awkward puddle. "I asked if you want to use the bathroom first."

you clear your throat, "no go ahead."

he gives you another knowing smirk before disappearing into the on suite bathroom (which, holy, how nice is this place), travel toiletry bag and a new pair of sweatpants tucked under his arm. as soon as the door clicks shut, you let out a deep breath—one you hadn't realized you'd been harbouring.

thankfully you hadn't worn makeup today, knowing that you’d be travelling—the feeling of being stuck with makeup on your face during the couple hour drive here sounded like a living nightmare. so while nico is busy in the bathroom you quickly change into your christmas red striped pyjamas, shoving your dirty clothes back in your suitcase before nico can see.

the door opens again just as you locate your toothbrush, revealing nico is his team branded sweatpants and...oh he's not wearing a shirt. you swallow heavily, eyes quickly flicking over the expanse of his muscular torso. "bathrooms free." he says, easily moving towards the bed.

you nod. "yeah, thanks."

right before you can shut the door, he calls your name, stopping you in your rather frantic pursuit into the bathroom—which is lingering with the scent of nico's cologne. he smiles at you playfully. "i'll keep the bed warm."

that's it - you're going to drown yourself in the toilet.

DAY 2

you managed to not drown yourself last night—shockingly enough. after nico's fluttering eyes and stomach swooping tease last night, you'd made some stupid joke, one that you can't even remember—you're pretty sure you blacked out. you shut the bathroom door quickly, taking as many deep breathes as you felt applicable.

the entire time you'd been brushing your teeth, you just kept going through calming mantras in your head, desperately trying to grasp ahold of the shit show inside your head. thankfully the rest of the night was easy—easy because as soon as your head hit those inanely comfortable pillows you were out.

the reason for waking up this morning—like expected—was because of your mother, who loudly entered your and nico's room with a tinsel covered sweater and bright smile. "wake up love bugs. taylor wants us all to go into town and look at the trees together!"

you're then hyperaware that nico is obviously still without a shirt, and you happen to be tucked against his bare chest like your life depended on it. his peck, although it doesn't look it, is a surprisingly comfortable pillow. your body stiffen's against him, but before you can roll away, nico tightens his grip around you, keeping you in place.

"give us a few minutes." you manage to tell her, practically rigid against the devils captain. "nico isn't wearing pants." you can hear him make a noise of protest beside you, pinching your hip between his fingers.

"take your time you two!" she sing songs, leaving the room with as much pep in her step as usual. as soon as the door clicks closed, you push off nico, but he doesn't let you get too far, fingers wrapping around your wrist to stop you.

"why'd you tell your mom i'm don't wearing pants?"

"I panicked."

"you're ridiculous—you know she's going to think we had sex now." his amusement is clear, and although it's at the expense of his dignity, nico is enjoying the humor of it all.

you shrug, slipping out of the bed. "hate to break it to you but they already think that."

through the mirror you left your bag in front of, you watch nico eye you from the back, his brows pulled curiously. "and why's that?"

"didn't you know? i'm secretly this like crazy minx who brings different boys to family trips and-" you're interrupted when nico tosses a pillow towards you, his laughter echoing throughout the room.

"get dressed freak."

—

you think one of your favourite things about being around nico is that no matter how his comments make your stomach swoop and how his gentle lingering eyes leaves your heart pounding, it's always easy to speak with him and just...be his friend.

which you suppose is normal with friends—you think?—its kind of hard to tell. you've only been close with your sister growing up, and then when you met bree in college she became your only other companion. when bree met dougie and inevitably started dating him, it opened up this new world to you; going to events and games, meeting so many people all with different personalities and backgrounds.

meeting nico was different though, because unlike the catalog of people that had come in and out of your life, nico was a constant. in the four years of knowing him, he's always managed to be that person—that friend—you felt you'd been missing. despite always playing nonchalant about your relationship with nico, dismissing him to be just a casual friend, you did really like him and cherish that friendship...and it kind of scares you.

after you moms abrupt wake up call, you and nico quickly got ready for the day, bundling in your warmest clothes to bare the chilly downtown weather—granting your nieces christmas tree browsing wishes.

the town is decorated beautifully, with stunning icicle lights dripping from every building, red ribbon wrapped around poles and pulled into bows at every corner, and the trees—filled with various sized and shaped ornaments that perfectly encapsulate the christmas season.

it feels like something out of a hallmark movie with the gentle pressure of nico's hand in yours, guiding you both behind taylor as she excitedly makes you look at everything. your sister and brody watch in amusement, very used to their daughters excitable personality. and of course your mom makes you and nico pose for hundreds of photos, because she has to 'capture the beautiful moment and the beautiful couple.'

she evens asks for you and nico to kiss—again—but just before you have to make up another excuse, brody chucks a snowball right at your chest. you immediately start hurling them back at your brother-in-law, distracting everyone from another non-kiss moment between you and nico.

after a few hours in town you all head back to the lodge, stomachs ready for some warm food to heat up that achy cold emptiness.

you place the serving tray full of freshly buttered buns in the middle of the table, next to the sour cream and shredded colby jack cheese—both necessities with your moms homemade chilli.

on the other side of the table, nico places one of the last bowls, the ceramic dishes clanking together—it's a peaceful noise, one that's often heard in kitchens. his eyes suddenly flicker towards you, and when he catches your stare a slinky smile curves at his lips. "are you judging my placement right now?"

the tease—so mundane and playful—has your smile growing, butterflies tickling the lining of your growling stomach. "never."

his gaze narrows, "well i'm definitely judging your butter abilities—that spread is so uneven."

you gasp, "think you could do better, hischier?"

"oh," he laughs, "I know I could."

you smirk, picking up one of the grapes sitting loose in the fruit bowl at the end of the counter, tossing it in nico's direction. but like the coordinated athlete he is, catches it in his mouth, chewing the crunchy grape slowly—winking at you while he chews.

"y/n," your mom looks at you over her shoulder, "do you mind just finishing adding the herbs? I gotta run upstairs quick."

"sure." you hum, making your way over to the stovetop, taking the long handled wooden stirring spoon from your mom. she thanks you with a squeeze on your arm before waltzing out of the kitchen, disappearing up the stairs.

as you begin twirling the utensil through the thick chilli, you feel nico come up next to you, his chest brushing against your arm. "why are you stirring it like that?"

you look up at him with wide eyes, your amusement clear. "you are just tearing my cooking apart today."

he laughs, "you're not cooking anything. you're simply just spreading and stirring."

a noise similar to a scoff falls from your mouth, and you tear your gaze away from nico quickly. "i'll spread something all right." you mutter with faux irritation, turning your shoulder away from him.

nico laughs again, chest rumbling against your skin. "that sounded dirty." his forearm wraps around your torso, holding you against his chest.

you're momentarily speechless with the feeling of nico touching you so intimately. your slow stirring comes to a stop, the end of the wooden spoon almost falling into the pot—but you don't notice. your head slowly falls backwards, resting just under nico's collarbone. "what are you doing?" you ask quietly, looking up at him.

nico leans down, his lips brushing against your ears. "what does it feel like i'm doing?" his breath is warm on you and you feel a static travel over your body—from your ears, down to your neck and shoulders, even reaching your toes.

"it feels like you're trying to hit on me." your words comes out breathily, barley reaching your own ears.

"maybe I am," he shrugs, and like he didn't just send your heart plummeting to your stomach, nico says, "your sister is watching us."

discreetly your eyes dance towards the large living room where you catch a glance at tammy—who is trying to not make it look obvious as she stares at you both lovingly, a cheesy smile on her face.

"so the only reason you're touching me is because of the audience?—that's a bit freaky, even for you nico."

he pinches your side lightly, which sends you squirming backwards, further into his embrace—chilli and herbs long forgotten. "i'll take any excuse to touch you, y/n."

nico looks down at you warmly, that boyish grin on his face that makes him look so warm and cuddly. you feel your face heat up at his insinuation, and you look away from his playful expression, bowing your head so you're looking back to the chilli.

"you're so pretty when you blush," nico mummers against your skin, pulling you back to his chest.

your blush deepens, a light laughter bubbling through your chest as you playfully push him away. "you're distracting me."

before nico can say anything else, the distant voice of your mother approaches. "and this is the kitchen! isn't it just so beautiful susan? I mean not just the lodge but the whole resort."

susan? who the hell is—oh my god.

nico watches your face drop, your eyes darting towards the kitchens entryway as the voices grow closer, this susan lady answering your mother just as enthusiastically.

he's quickly back at your side, a gentle hand brushing against your lower back. "what's wrong?" nico's question is hushed—determined.

you're honestly surprised that you can hear his whisper over the blood rushing in your ears. the rush of anxiety that pumps through your blood is overwhelming, and the reason you'd brought nico to your families christmas vacation comes trampling back. you swallow roughly, "susan...she's my moms friend and-"

"guys, this is my friend susan and her son scott!" your moms chipper tone halts your scentence, you and nico watching silently as your mom gestures to the unexpected company.

scott is...actually not that bad to look at—which is a gold star on your moms part. the dark haired man is standing merely few feet away from you as he moves to greet tammy. he's got that finance bro look to him, with a crisp button up shirt underneath his puffer vest—why men insist to wear vests inside is something you'll never understand.

he greets brody like a typical male would, bringing him in for a quick slap on the back—a smile on his face that shows his perfectly white teeth.

"y/n, honey this is scott." you mom singles you out, which of course she does, pointing towards scott with a wink in your direction.

you can feel nico stiffen against your back, his forearm snaking back around your waist. before you can think, you let your hand rest over nico's, interlocking your fingers between his resting against your torso.

"nice to meet you, y/n." he greets with a grin. "i'm scott. i've heard so much about you."

"you too, scott." you smile politely. "this is nico-"

"her boyfriend." nico finishes your scentence firmly, the hand that wasn't around your body jutting out on the other side of your body for a handshake. 

scott breathes a laugh, shaking his hand. "boyfriend, huh? lucky guy." briefly scott's eyes flicker back towards you, eyeing you with a look you can't decipher. you feel yourself shrinking further back into nico, seeking that comforting aura that is the devil's captain.

"very much so." he agrees firmly, squeezing the flesh of your hip. there's a tense moment of eye contact between the two men, almost like a wordless battle of alpha male energy—which isn't very like nico.

scott hums curiously. "you look really familiar. do I know you from somewhere?"

"must have one of those faces." nico answers modestly, shrugging his shoulders once.

tammy waltzes into the kitchen, followed by her husband who is holding taylor in his arms. hearing the tail end of the conversation, brody pipes in with a quick laugh. "he looks familiar cause he's the devils captain dude—we are in the presence of jersey royalty."

"a professional athlete?" scott questions, that curious but condescending tone still laced in his voice. "bit unstable, no? unpredictable with trades and that?"

"can be. thankfully i've been lucky enough to have been with the devils since 2017."

"lucky indeed." once again, scott's eyes flicker back to you—giving you that awkward and uncertain feeling.

sensing the tension, tammy quickly intervenes. "taylor did you want to show scott and susan your stuffies before dinner is plated?"

taylor glances towards the two guests. "no." then her tiny brown eyes move towards you and nico, and instantly she's skipping towards you both. "nico can you sit beside me at dinner?"

something prideful blooms in your chest at taylor's request and dismissal of scott and his rather uncomfortable presence. "I don't know taylor," you begin teasingly, "I wanted to sit beside nico first."

she laughs, her adorable toddler giggle like music to your ears. "how about we both sit with nico."

you hum in faux thought. "should we ask him? see what he thinks?"

"yes." she giggles.

nico, who has obviously heard the entire interaction, pretends like he was unaware of the conversation happening quite literally in front of him—he ponders the question playfully, index finger tapping against his chin. when he tells taylor that he will sit with both of you, her tiny face lights up, and you can't help the way yours does as well.

dinner is served very quickly after, brody on serving duty as he fills every bowl with a hefty amount of chilli. the dinner runs relatively smoothly, saved for a few condescending questions from scott asking about only nico. for somebody who was seemingly trying to get to know you—despite having a boyfriend—scott seems to be really interested with the man beside you rather than you yourself.

thankfully only an hour after dinner and enduring painfully boring conversation with susan and scott, they end up leaving to go back to their lodge, and thank god because you desperately are ready for sleep by that point—excusing yourself and nico as you head towards the bedrooms for another much needed nights rest.

you pull the duvet back, creating enough space for you to climb in.

nico follows suit, slipping under the cool flannel sheets. "scott seems..."

you interrupt his trailing thought. "like an asshole?"

"yeah." he breathes. "truly what is that guys deal?"

"I don't know." you roll onto your side, facing nico with a huff. "I can't believe my mom still invited them to dinner. even though susan is supposedly her friend—who, by the way i've never heard of before tuesday. I thought she would've at least...I don't know? respected my boundaries? is that fucked up to say?"

nico shakes his head against the pillow. "no, it's not."

you groan, your irritation clear. "and then when she first introduced us and she winked at me? like hello, what is that about? because as far as she's concerned i'm clearly not looking for a relationship. I brought you here for this exact reason and-"

"hey," nico breathes gently, gathering your attention by running his hand over your pyjama sleeve covered arm. "it's okay, you're okay. I understand that you're feeling stressed and frustrated but don't get in your head about this."

you take a deep breath, nodding.

nico continues, "I don't think she had any malicious intentions with inviting them to dinner. I think she was pleasing people—like you would."

"I just wish her people pleasing didn't involve a literal walking bag of crap."

nico breathes a quiet laugh at your insult. "she just wants what's best for you, y/n—like you said. she doesn't realize that it's making you uncomfortable and she's too distracted by it all to notice that scott is 'a literal walking bag of crap.'"

your lip tugs upwards slightly.

"you should talk to her about it."

you groan, face rolling into the fluffiest part of your pillow. "I think as my boyfriend you should talk to her for me."

"i'm not actually your boyfriend." he laughs.

you scoff. "way to ruin the mood."

nico's smile is barley visible through the dark bedroom, but you can still see it, and the sight had you following suit, a grin taking over your face. he rests his head on his bicep, facing you. it all feels so intimate and precious and you never want to forget it.

your heart beat feels like it's bordering on dangerously fast—making you feel the best kind of nervous. you're glad the room is dark because you blush, clearing your throat. "i'm so happy that you're here nico. I don't know what I would've done today if you weren't with me."

his smile falters slightly as he swallows thickening salvia, eyes trained on your face softly through the moonlit room. "i'm happy i'm here too..with you."

DAY 3

you peer down the snow covered hill, gnawing on your lip in an unsure manner. "does it seem bigger from up here?" your hands wrap around the ski poles tightly, desperately trying to keep yourself from moving forward.

nico expertly slides in front of you, his skis bumping yours. "do you want to go back down? we can just walk back to the lodge if you're feeling scared."

you shake your head quickly. "i'm not scared...im just worried about falling on my face." truth of the matter is that you are feeling scared—scared because you actually hadn't skied since you were 10, and you'd actively avoided the actual ski part of your holiday trips by sitting in the lodge and reading whatever book you'd been into since then—but not this year.

nico wanted to get out on the hills, and even though he said that he didn't mind if you wanted to stay at the house or even in the holiday themed ski lodge, you didn't want him to feel alone out there, especially because he's doing you a favour in just being apart of your families christmas—so here you are on top of the ski hill. plus, any excuse to get away from scott, which of course your mom invited him and susan to spend the day with you all, you'd take.

"you're not going to fall on your face." nico tells you, his tone gentle as he looks down at you.

"you don't know that." you say. "what happens if my ski catches a divet in the ice and I go head over heels into the snow?"

he laughs gently. "the only reason you'll fall is because your hairs in your face—here." nico ditches his poles in the snow, and with glove covered hands he reaches towards your face. gently he tucks your hair underneath your hat, pushing away any hairs that have fallen out from your braid.

you swallow, eyes flickering over his face. "i'm a little nervous." you finally admit.

"it's okay to be nervous." nico adjusts the strap of your goggles over your pink helmet, moving it into a proper position. "it's also okay to back out."

"I don't want to back out." you huff. "I want to do it."

his lip tugs upwards in a half smile. "yeah?"

"yeah." you nod. "but you have to do it with me." you both make your way—you very cautiously—towards the edge of the slope. "i'm serious nico."

"I won't leave your side, okay? fix your knees like I showed you earlier...yup, just like that." he watches you intently, making sure you're in a proper position. nico finds your face again, an apprehensive look in his eyes. "you sure?"

"think so." you hum. "it’ll be fine." before you can decide to back out, you manually push forward until your skis take over, sliding down the first dip of the hill, sending your downward.

the sound of your skis slicing through the icy snow is a rather relaxing sound, one that has a smile breaking out on your face. the feeling of quickly moving through time, with the cool air kissing your exposed cheeks is rather freeing, and for a moment you're not thinking about anything other than yourself and nico.

you can hear nico follow suit, following your tracks within a safe distance. "good! keep your blades a little bent! like pizza." he calls to you, voice travelling through the wind whipping past your ears.

"am I doing it?!" you question loudly, eyes still casted forward as you reach the middle area of the slope, continuing the rather speedy descent down the snowy hill.

"you're doing it." nico answers proudly—a boyish chuckle following.

"oh my god!" you scream happily, "i'm doing it." you slide over a small lip on the hill, propelling slightly into the air. miraculously, you land with only a small teeter in your legs, continuing to ski downwards.

in a moment of excitement, you turn to look over your shoulder, eyes wide and full of disbelief as you find nico. "did you see that?"

his face falls. "y/n, watch out!"

as soon as nico's warnings finishes, you feel somebody slam into you, affectively sending you off balance and smacking towards the ground. you feel the snow cover your face as you land, and you groan out, eyes closing as a quick wave of pain washes over you.

"holy fuck—y/n are you okay?" the voice sounds a little distant to your ears, like they are muffled. they help you sit up, gently cradling your biceps with their hands as they pull you into a sitting position.

you squint in attempt to focus your vision, blinking quickly to clear the blur. "what?"

nico's concerned face slowly appears in your eyesight. "are you okay?"

you groan again. "I think so."

he breaths loudly—a sound of relief. his hands move from your arms and towards your face, un-clipping the helmet strap from under your chin. nico pulls the hot pink protective gear off your head, leaving you with your damp beanie and snow coated braid. "you scared me for a second there. does anything hurt?"

"not really, maybe just a little sore and bruised." you swallow gently as you watch nico as he gently moves your head from side to side, checking for external injuries. his gaze is so intense—so focused. the embarrassment and lingering pain in your limbs has you feeling emotional, and your lip trembles. "i'm sorry."

instantly, nico's eyes snap back to yours. "don't apologize." he watches the way your eyes begin to well up with tears, quickly looking around as if you're seeing how many people are watching you. immediately he knows you're feeling embarrassed on top of everything else, and he pulls you into his chest, pressing a quick kiss against your hairline over your knitted hat.

you can barley feel the kiss, but it's enough to where the gesture has you melting—melting because he wasn't doing it because somebody in your family is watching or making him…nico simply just wanted to.

"you're okay." he mumbles against your hat.

"I think I wanna walk the rest of the way." you mumble waterly, attempting to joke.

he smiles against you, "you think so?" pulling back, he meets your eyes, a boyish grin on his face. the sight instantly has you feeling better, and with a small grin you nod.

nico helps you remove your boots from the ski blades, popping open every latch and button so you're easily able to slip out of the boot slot. he follows suit with his own ski's, freeing himself of the blades hold so he's left in only the chunky boots.

a familiar voice calls your name, approaching you and nico. "shit i'm sorry." scott says, stopping in front of you with his ski's tucked under his arm. "I didn't realize it was you."

nico stiffens. "you hit her? seriously?"

"I just said sorry man." scott huffs. "no need to get all annoyed."

his brows raise is pure shock, eyes squinting accusingly in the shorter man's direction. "sorry doesn't help. what if she got seriously hurt?"

"she didn't though."

nico breathes in disbelief. "that's not the point."

scott takes a step back, "relax, dude."

"she's my girlfriend. I can't relax."

"whatever." scott looks back towards your shy face, offering you a sympathetic shrug. "sorry again y/n."

you nod once. "thanks."

that's all it takes for scott to leave again, practically jogging away from the both of you, back down the hill. he disappears behind the slope of the hill, and immediately nico is turning back to you, his expression that was only moments ago hard and strong, now soft. "he doesn't deserve your apology."

"I know." you breathe. "but I was done listening to him."

nico nods understandably, but he looks slightly worried—guilty maybe? "are you upset with me about that?"

"no. i'm glad you were here to defend me honestly. I would've crumbled under the pressure of my own need to be a people pleaser." you laugh lightly.

the ghost of a smile takes over his face. "promise?"

you nod. "help me down the hill? I need you right now—my hips a little sore."

in an instant nico is grabbing you, careful of your sore hip as he wraps an arm around your torso. "let me know if you need to stop at all, okay?"

you both begin to slowly walk down the hill, nico dragging the ski stuff behind you. "you worry too much." you tease him, gaze flickering to his face.

he breathes a laugh, not looking away from the hills. "yeah I worry cause I—" he pauses briefly, a gentle gulp following. "cause you're my friend, y/n."

"your friend?" you question his choice of words quietly—timidly.

finally, he meets your eyes. "yeah."

there's a moment then, where you're looking at one another with eyes that say a million things your mouths can't yet. you're unsure whether or not nico was about to admit to something—deeper feelings—before correcting himself, and you're not sure if you'll ever know.

but you're too scared—to anxious—to find out. because if it's not the answer you're hoping for, your christmas eve will be ruined, and your heart will be broken.

you laugh, breaking the tension. "that's not very fake boyfriend of you to say."

nico blinks once, but soon his expression changes into a more playful one, eyes twinkling with amusement. "c'mon y/n/n."

—

the warm bubbles are slightly ticklish against your skin, but it's a pleasant feeling. you sink further into the hot tub, letting the jets and heat do their job on your sore body.

as the sun started setting through the kitchen window, the pain of your earlier incident was only getting worse, and you could barley move without hissing in pain.

after the 8th groan of discomfort during jim carey's grinch, your mom suggested the hot tub. after all what good were you trying to put presents under the tree if you couldn't even bend over to pick them up.

the almost instant relief from the hot tub was enough to have you moaning out, submerging up to your shoulders and letting the water splash up your neck.

a beat passes and the sliding door sounds, opening into the cool night. "hey, got the presents from my car." nico stands by the entrance, peering through the dimly lit deck over in your direction.

"did you give them to tammy?" you question gently.

"I did." nico hums, gently shutting the door behind him. "you okay in there?"

"getting there." you sigh, eyes carefully watching as nico makes his way through the covered deck—no doubt the cold snow covering his feet in the slides he’d slipped on before getting the presents.

"anything you need from me?"

the nighttime pain reliever you’ve been popping since getting back from the lodge has you feeling a bit sleepy and loopy—completely erasing any kind of filter you have. you raise a brow, squinting at him through the mist coming off the water. "I want you to get in."

he laughs gently, resting his hands against the edge of the tub as he looks over at you. nico takes his lip between his teeth briefly, eyes flickering over your submerged figure. "didn't bring a bathing suit."

"nico." you whine, dragging his name out.

"you can't get upset with me," he smirks, "you didn't tell me there'd be a hot tub."

"okay, well just strip down into your underwear and get in." you breathe, "promise I won't look." you hold your hand up like you’re in scouts, looking up at him with most puppy-dog expression you can manage.

"y/n..." he trails off, almost like a gentle warning.

you continue. "i'll even let you have one of my three towels afterwards so you don't have walk back inside in just your underwear.”

his brows pull together. "why did you bring three towels?"

"I like to be extra warm—just get in."

a moment passes—practically watching the gears turn in nico’s head as he debates your ask. just when you think you’ll have to beg again, desperate to have nico close to you, he sighs, pushing off the edge of the hot tub. in one swift motion he pulls his hoodie off, his muscles flexing beneath his rising t-shirt, exposing nico’s hard v-line and happy trail.

you smile in satisfaction, watching as he continues to shed his clothes until he's left in just his black boxer shorts. you try your best to not stare—you really do—but when your fake boyfriend happens to be that muscular and hot, it's hard to keep your eyes away.

he quickly steps into the steaming hot tub, joining you under the water. "happy?"

you smile triumphantly. "very much. I feel better already."

"I bet you do."

a beat passes, only the sound of the running jets to be heard through the night. it's very relaxing, and with nico with you it now feels 10 times better. under the water you extend your leg until your foot gently nudges his leg—grabbing his attention. "thank you again for today. for everything, I just...i'm really happy that dougie called you for me. because I would've been too nervous to ask you myself."

his brows raise. "why would you have been nervous?”

shyly, you shrug. "I don't know, I just didn't want you to think I was...taking advantage of you or something."

"I wouldn't have thought that—I don't think that." nico moves closer to you, the warm water sloshing around slightly as he comes to a stop in the seat beside you. instinctively you turn your body towards him, eyes curious and knowing all at once.

a beat passes.

"did you know when I was a kid on christmas eve I used to convince my sister that if she didn't let me have her last advent chocolate santa wouldn't come."

you grin. "you didn't."

he laughs. "I so did. and I remember feeling like such a badass about it to. then when she found out that santa wasn't real and I was simply just conning her into an extra chocolate she lost it—and I mean lost it."

"what did she do?"

"obviously she told my parents, which was expected." nico hums. "but she also smashed my game system—like completely destroyed it with our dads hammer."

you gasp, "no."

"yeah and I cried like a baby."

you laugh gently.

nico continues. "looking back now I definitely shouldn't of been so sneaky. and now every christmas I always buy her an advent calendar as an apology."

"that's kind of cute." you coo sweetly.

his eyes soften at the sound, watching your head tilt in admiration. "you would really like her. you two are kind of similar."

you stifle a knowing laugh. "after hearing how she smashed your gaming stuff I think I have to agree—one year I sent taylor's favourite scarf for a trip in the fireplace."

nico snickers, "you little rebel."

"don't laugh," you smile. "she had taken my favourite babydoll I'd opened that christmas and covered the entire face in marker. so instead of going to my parents like I should have, I just threw her scarf right in the fire."

"damn," he breathes. "remind me not to steal your baby dolls."

"oh since then i've kept them all locked away, so you'll never find them." your eyes glisten with a playful shimmer, looking at nico teasingly. he mimics your lighthearted expression, a warm smile pulling on his lips.

your eyes wander to his exposed arm, catching sight of the familiar pattern of ink on his inner arm. "i've always like this one." slowly you reach out, tracing the tattoo with a wet finger.

"yeah?" he watches the way your touch moves over the artwork, your fingers leaving a wake of goosebumps on his skin—despite the heat from the hot tub, chills run over his body.

"yeah." you nod. "does it mean anything?"

"it's my families star signs," he points to the first one, tracing the greek symbol. "they all bleed into one another, almost like it's representing a family line."

“nico that’s…really cool.” you smile gently. "when did you get it?"

he laughs gently, a blush coating his cheekbones. "long time ago."

you snicker, eyes flickering back towards his face and away from the sentimental tattoo on his string bicep. “alright old man.”

he quirks a brows at you, amused. "we're the same age."

playfully you shush him, bringing your finger towards his plump lips in a silencing motion.

quickly, nico grabs your wrist, pulling your tiny hand away from his face. his firm yet teasing grasp around your hand sends your skin into a flurry of flames, igniting under his warm palm.

his eyes flicker between your eyes and your pouty lips as if he can't decide where to look—what to do.

you lean in ever so slightly, scared that if you move too suddenly you'll wake up from a dream. nico's hold on your hand changes, fingers trailing down your wrist and off your arm.

his hand finds your slick thigh under the bubbly water, and your heart feels like it's going to jump out from your ribcage with how hard and intensely its beating. as nico's thumb begins to rub along your skin, pleasantly tickling your thigh, you think you may just die.

your hand inches towards his torso under the water, your fingernails just scraping softly against his abs—

"I should get out." nico mumbles. "I haven't packed yet and I gotta leave before 9."

you swallow the disappointment you're feeling, blinking away your emotions as you pull your hand away. "yeah. sure."

he gets out of the hot tub, and you can't even watch him as he does. nico wraps himself in one of your towels before gently looking back towards you. "i'll see you inside, okay?"

you hum in acknowledgment.

and then he leaves.

you mope in the hot tub a little bit longer than expected, and by the time you finally drag yourself back inside the only person awake is your mom.

she sits on the couch silently, finishing up some last minute wrapping of what seems like a gift for brody—some football jersey for a team you don't recognize. "feel better honey?" she asks.

you nod once. "yeah, thanks." you start to walk further into the home, towards the stairs, but your mom stops you, calling out your name quietly.

"before you go upstairs," she sighs, "I just wanted to say i'm sorry about scott. I shouldn't have even put that idea in your head when I called you and I shouldn't have invited him and susan around the that times I did. he was not only disrespectful towards you, but he was disrespectful towards nico and your relationship."

your chest warms. "thanks mom. it's okay."

"but I already invited them for breakfast after presents tomorrow—honestly susan is kind of a bitch and the last thing I need is for her to fuck me over to corporate because I didn't have her and her asshole son over for breakfast."

you snort, which has your mom joining in on the hushed laughter. you're truly not upset about that, and if anything the whole thing is so authentically your mom that you're almost glad she invited them.

just when you think she's done, your mom continues with a twinkle in her eyes. "I must say y/n, I've never seen you happier or more comfortable in a relationship that what i'm seeing when you're with nico. honey I don't know why it took you so long to realize there was something more between you, because nico is special."

you feel tears well up in your eyes, a million unsure emotions coming to a tilt in your throat. you nod. "yeah. he is."

DAY 4

"do you really have to go?" taylor's tiny voice wobbles with emotion slightly, looking up at nico with her wide animated eyes.

he crouches down to her level, soft gaze unwavering. "unfortunately. I have to work tomorrow.”

"okayyyy." she pouts. "maybe next time you can bring your stuffies for the tea party."

"that's a great idea." he grins at the way your nieces face lights up, already giddy at the thought of the next party.

your mom suddenly cooes, moving towards the front door where nico stands with his suitcase. she frowns at him, "honey thank you so much for coming, you've been wonderful."

he stands to his full height, embracing your mom as she wraps her arms around him in a familiar hug. "thank you for having me."

you watch silently, gnawing the skin around your thumb anxiously. you'd been dreading this since you were awoken at 7 by your niece for presents, and saying goodbye to nico today was weighing on you heavily—even with the lingering unspoken words from last nights abrupt departure.

"safe driving, nico." tammy smiles towards him kindly.

brody chimes in, "yeah man, can't have you going down. the devils need you."

your fake boyfriend laughs gently, nodding. "i'll try my best to get home in one piece." then nico's eyes flicker towards you, a soft yet sad expression pulling at his face. he takes a deep breathe, plastering on a bigger smile. "i'll see you when you're home."

you nod, your own forced smile on. "i'll see you then, nico." there’s an unspoken meaning with the goodbye—one that feels permanent and you hate it. with one more emotional glance in your direction nico waves goodbye to your family….and then he leaves.

the hallow feeling that runs through your bones is almost painful, your eyes trained on the spot he was just standing. a million feelings run through you at once—hurt, anger, confusion, warmth, guilt. it's all one big stressful ball, but yet somehow through all that you know there's real feelings for your friend there, ones that have been making your heart run ramped and your stomach flip around with butterflies for years.

"hey," scott's quiet voice interrupts your thoughts, looking over at you with flirtatious eyes. "if things with lover boy don't work out, ill be here." you’d honestly forgot him and susan were here, arriving just after taylor had tore through all her presents for breakfast.

it had you rushing to open your present from nico—because of course he bought you a present—his jersey and a handbag you’d been wanting for years. a handbag that only bree knew you loved, meaning that he talked to your best friend to get you the perfect christmas gift.

and yeah…you really like nico hischier.

blinking out of your thoughts, you properly turn and face scott. "that will never happen."

you look around the room at your family, who have now all resumed their normal routine throughout the home. taylor’s making your brother-in-law open every new toy so she could play with them, while your mom and susan busy themselves in the kitchen, talking while the kettle boils for another round of coffee.

you catch tammy's eyes and she nods—knowingly. you breathe a sigh of what feels like relief, and a tiny smile begins to pull at your lips. "i'll be right back." you mutter, and before you even realize what you're doing, you slip on somebodies slides, leaving out the front door.

the wind blows right though your gingerbread pyjamas, the cold biting against your skin—but you don't care as the only thing you can think about is him. "nico!"

the sound of your voice has him pausing, rounding from the back of his vehicle where he was loading his suitcase in. nico’s brows pull together tightly, looking and feeling rather confused as you hurriedly make your way towards him—merely slipping out of your shoes as you hit a patch of ice.

"what are you doing?" he questions.

"don't go." you words a rushed, looking up at him with a shy confidence in your eyes.

nico sighs quietly. "I don't really have a choice."

you shake your head, eyes closing in frustration. "I know - fuck don't don't go just stay...for a second."

"what are you trying to say, y/n?"

"I like you - like really like you." finally you break, looking towards nico with nothing but vulnerability on your face. "and I think deep down I always knew that, but something about this weekend...watching you interact with my family and seeing how much they like you—it's amplified everything to 100."

you swallow the lump forming in your throat, trying your best at keeping your voice steady as you continue. "and I really didn't think i'd be chasing after a guy in my pyjamas this weekend, but here I am. because you're not just some guy, nico. you're the guy. and I can't let you leave without saying that because I don't think i'll ever have the courage to say it again."

nico swallows. "I can't believe you just told me that." he pauses, a small laugh bubbling past his lips. "and right when I have to leave. because now I really want to stay."

you let go of a breath you weren't aware you were holding, relief rushing over you body at his words.

he continues. "I like you so much it's not even funny."

"you do?" you question shyly.

"yes." nico takes a step towards you, now close enough to reach out and touch. "you're my favourite."

"favourite what?" you whisper.

"everything." he reaches out, gently taking ahold of your face between his cold palms. his thumbs stoke along your cheeks comfortingly, looking down at you with half-lidded eyes as his gaze moves towards your lips. "what was the rule about kissing again?"

you inhale sharply, your own eyes watching nico's lips inch closer and closer towards yours. "only if absolutely necessary."

"thought so." nico's words are mumbled between you, lips brushing against yours before he finally closes the gap, connecting your mouths in a much desired kiss.

in that moment it's hard to think about anything other than the skillful and practiced kisses nico is giving you, his hand nestled at the base of your skull as he holds you to him, but one thing you do know is that you should've done this fake boyfriend thing years ago.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

[just-a-queer-disaster]

A couple moments pre cannon(and in cannon/post cannon) That Nick and Selwyn shared but I'm delusional and have been for years so its just the shit cannon in my head to me

Selwyn Kane does not like his birthday. Every year that passes is a reminder of his inevitable descent, and past that, a reminder of how easily the Order had controlled him. He does not celebrate because previously he did not celebrate, and nobody celebrated for him. The only one who did was Nick. They were together constantly, of course Nick would know Selwyn's birthday. Nick got him a cupcake on his birthday once, with a candle lit and everything, and Selwyn, already tired from whatever was happening that day, burst into tears. Nick and Selwyn share a bond over that moment, even though neither spoke of that day again. Nick will normally give Selwyn a cupcake on his birthday, or at the very least, send him a text. Selwyn Kane does not like his birthday. It is the only day he cannot stop himself from crying. Now, he still gets emotional when Nick and Bree and William(and Lark, maybe, if Selwyn and Lark haven't been bickering) throw him a little party (planned. They discovered first try, against Nicks's wishes, when they threw him a surprise party. Selwyn promptly had a panic attack and threw up. Icon. They changed the surprise to like… a 3-day time period so Selwyn had a warning beforehand. )

Nick also does not like his birthday. Or at least, he didn't. Every year, it was a show on how good the "scion of Arthur" was. How worthy and cool and everything. Everyone knew his birthday because everyone knew him. It's exhausting talking about your birthday all day long. Even during his birthday party, he feels a sense of emptiness about how nothing has changed. Don't get him wrong, he likes the parties and shit. It's just that he would like them a lot more if they weren't for display. The worst part was seeing the jealous look in Selwyn's eyes. For all intents and purposes, Selwyn may not have understood the hype around birthdays, but every year he tries to participate in Nicks celebration. And every year, Nick catches a moment of Selwyn staring at the gifts, or the cake, or the people for a moment too long, and his heart hurts. Later, after he leaves the order, Nick begins to like his birthday again.

Selwyn Kane learned English via his mother's books and the literal dictionary. He was never on the social level he was meant to be as a kid(cough cough autism) so rather than learn English from his surroundings, he went to the source and went from there. Just imagine a 3 year old, staring at a huge ass dictionary, sounding out words. His toddler self waddling around with his mother's pages. His father, when present in his life, would answer Selwyn's questions about what little things meant. He stopped doing that after his mother died. On his 4th birthday, he was gifted a thesaurus. He loved it. He loved sounding smart, sounding like his mother. However, as a kid, his language was often an embarrassment to him. Selwyn remembers Nick asking why he talked so "like..like that. Like, big words n shit." Selwyn gave him his answer, and Nick just said.,"…that's kinda sad. Well…not sad, but like, why didn't you have friends, matter fact, you don't have friends-"Selwyn shut him up real quick. Selwyn refuses to tell anyone else. It's part of the reason he wasn't liked at school. Every Merlin thought that Selwyn was trying to be condescending with his vocabulary, but really that's just how he talked. In fact, as a kid, he wasn't even an asshole. He was a nice kid if you got to know him, he just was blunt about everything and lacked social awareness. He tried to speak like the people around him, but it wasn't natural to him. Kid Selwyn used to cry over that. Now, if anyone questions his speech, he just questions their intelligence really condescendingly. He's the type to see a post with words from the 1700s and their definitions and actually use them. Now, late at night when neither of them can sleep, it's usually a discussion over old-timey words and Googling their origins and laughing about it. Bree gets annoyed if she wakes up, and they taunt her with their old words.

One time, when Nick and Selwyn were around 13-14, Selwyn just really wanted to take a nap. He had finals coming up, he had people to oath, and he was so tired all the time. But, he didn't want to be punished for not "doing his job." Like he had in the past. He got so paranoid after Nick left (you should've seen the rumors around them both) that he literally couldn't sleep without knowing he was safe. He texted Nick if he could please, just this once, do a favor and call him as Selwyn slept so [if anything happens I'll wake up] Nick literally responded [no wtf]/[dude that's like]/[no. Just sleep it'll be fine]. Selwyn's tired and probably still aether drunk response to that was to call, and then beg through tears and sobs for him to "just please listen for once." Nick was in the middle of some type of extracurricular. He left within the same call, awkwardly attempting to soothe Selwyn while jogging over there. Selwyn actually managed to cry himself to sleep on call. Nick went over and stayed in his room while Selwyn slept. He found Selwyn slumped on the floor, the phone still tightly clutched. Nick picked him up, to which Selwyn snorted awake and began to disorientedly say something, But Nick just spoke softly and laid him on the bed, tucking him in. Selwyn was asleep before his head touched the pillow. Nick was actually scared, and concerned. This was not the put-together boy he grew up with. In this moment, he was a tired, already burning-out teen who was so scared of punishment that he would do something as absurd as call crying and begging, something so out of character for Selwyn, that even if Nick told anyone, they wouldn't believe him.

The first time Nick came home drunk, Selwyn screamed at him. It shocked Nick, but Selwyn was just so genuinely angry at Nick. He was yelling, and later just dissolved into tears. One haunting sentence fell from Selwyn's lips. "I don't want to lose you the same way I lost my father." Nick stopped arguing after that, and Selwyn went silent too. The morning after, Selwyn mumbled an apology and gave him some medicine to help with the hangover, and Nick apologized. They had a really long, deep conversation about coping mechanisms (cough cough when I say I project everything onto Selwyn… I hc that he definitely pops pills but that's not the unhealthy coping mechanism I'm talking about. If you know you know, but Selwyn has a different reason for having tattoos in my head. Don't worry I'm clean. And I don't do/never did drugs, it's js a funny hc of Selwyn to have for me. ). They both cried. Neither of them talked about it until years later. But in that moment, that conversation of fucked up coping mechanisms and the reasons behind them and the reasons why they needed them in the first place saved 2 lives. From then on, there was an understanding that they were both drowning, but at least now they were drowning together.

Nick was got so mad at his homework that he cried. It definitely wasn't just the homework. It wasn't the math problems that made him explode, it was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Selwyn happened to walk in, and to Nicks's surprise, grabbed the sheet of paper and started writing out steps to do it. No words, just Selwyn's nice handwriting breaking down math, while Nick tried to dry his tears. After Nick calmed down, they went over math. They were on the same level, with them both being advanced, and Nick usually liked math, so he was even more advanced than Selwyn for his age or wtv. Once Selwyn crashed out over chemistry, and while Nick was a whole yap fest, as opposed to the silent way Selwyn started helping him while Nick calmed down, Selwyn still appreciated it. In fact, Nicks talking calmed him down more than anything. Maybe it's because the only source of comfort these two had was each other for such a long time. Maybe it's because Selwyn's headache slowly faded as Nick told him how to do things. Maybe it was the way Nick was so close, their knees touching, as he explained things. Maybe Selwyn was just losing his shit. But Nicks's voice helped. Nick helped.

Speaking of voices, the first time Selwyn went non-verbal was a very confusing time for Nick. It was right after they were oathed, and Selwyn was unpacking. They were both silent, just doing their own thing, but then Nick noticed Selwyn was mouthing words, opening his mouth like he wanted to talk, but then not taking. Nick asked what he was doing, and Selwyn blushed and just shrugged. Nick just went back to his work. Hours later, Selwyn gave him a note. "When is dinner? Do I have to make you dinner? If so what do you like? And will I have to pay back what I take to make dinner?" Nick questioned why he didn't just say that, and Selwyn shrugged. The second time was after the first time Selwyn had oathed people, coming home aether drunk and shaking. He hated that feeling. It reminded him of his dad. Nick just sat across from Selwyn from his bed on the other side of the room. "Do you know sign language?" Nick said. Selwyn nodded. Merlins were taught ASL, and Nick learned because he thought it was cool. Nick talked and Selwyn signed, and it was one of the first times Selwyn felt genuinely understood.

might (probably will) make a part 2.

[foxgirlpirate]

Slight open letter/brain thoughts

It’s really weird trying to handle and accept the reality of someone having been out of my life for years now, especially when they were so integral to a lot of my own personal development as a trans woman today. And now that I’ve grown older and figured myself out more, it leaves me feeling that sense of like… yearning? In my soul, for that specific relationship again.

I wonder if she misses it like I do, and deep down wants to defy the impossible and just say hello again. Maybe the pain is too great for either of us, maybe we’re both holding ourselves back subconsciously to even consider the thought of truly making that move. I don’t think I ever want to close that door on her, that maybe one day we both would find it in us to see each other again in a better place and time.

I especially wonder if she even knows I’m on here anymore, if she keeps up with how I’m doing. That’d be nice. And if the very minor minuscule minute chance that she is, I guess I just wanna say…

Hi, mom. I think about you a lot, but in a good way. You took care of me in a very important part of my life, and helped me become the woman I am today. I was always happy to be there in your life, even if younger me was too insecure to realize that you loved me. I want to let you know that things are a lot different for me now. I find myself appreciating a lot of the smaller things in life, taking things as they come and really understanding the value in relationships and love. I’m a bit of a mom myself, now. I have two amazing (metaphorically) adopted trans girls that I’ve helped be a positive influence in their transition like you were for me.

I’ve finally done a lot of those transition goals I was pining for, too!! I got estrogen, i changed my name and sex, I still dress a lot like you when we were still in each other’s lives eheh. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, but I like to think I made it my own thing. And funniest of all, I’m a furry now, too. I’m sure you’ve seen the art, especially if you’ve seen my blog, but yeah!! I’m excited to kinda fully embrace that part of me for the first time ever.

Oh, you won’t believe this either, but I picked back up Old School Runescape. I know, insane thought, I remember how I was very mixed on it back then, but I really enjoy it now!!! I still have my old account with all the cool stuff you gave me, including that member’s cape and sweet sword. I noticed I was still on your friends list, and you on mine, and I don’t wanna remove you from it. So if you still play on that account, and ever see me online, hai! You’re not seeing things eheh. I’ve been doing a lot of the free quests just to do them, I find them very enjoyable. I’m still hanging around Lumbridge, spending my time leveling my mining and smithing, which I find very relaxing ^w^

Anyways, uh. I’ve been rattling on long enough. Hope you’ve been doing well, and yeah. I know I’m basically talking to a ghost right now, and a lot of my friends and followers are probably gonna think I’m crazy for talking to nobody, but. It feels like you’re right there, smiling at me from a distance.

Love ya, and I’m always thinking about you!

Bree <3

[drkineildwicks]

So how about that season finale, huh?

So my experience with Outlander is solely through the show (tried to get into the books, wasn't happening) and I'm not really in fandom spaces so going to the Outlander tag and seeing people frothing over that reveal is...something

Me, personally, I'm wondering how on earth Claire missed that back in the day like is French guy a necromancer or what?

I've lost pets and for like HOURS afterwards was desperately checking their bodies over for signs of life and seeing as how Claire is a doctor...???

Moving on--

William getting help from both dads to save Jane was nice, even if it was...well a little late

although if that twist is true then William would have something else to get way worked up over

Claire fretting about John still wearing an eyepatch while the dude's committed to rakish

Jamie still salty

Like dude they thought you were dead, chill

"Don't call her that"--like John doesn't default to my dear for everyone

John looking like please don't punch me again I can't rock two eyepatches

And the Mackenzie line meeting the extended family but no one's allowed to know X'D

AND ROLLO NOOOO

I've lost pets before, that hurts, I felt that wail deep down and personal

"I married him too" Rollo picked a good one for Ian

I feel like the whole way back to Fraser's Ridge Jamie and Claire are going to be dog shopping--"Anyone have any puppies recently? Anyone???"

And discussing it with Mom and...you know what Rollo actually lived a good full life the life expectancy for big dogs in modern times is around twelve years and Ian got Rollo before Bree came back

But with that in mind ROLLO NOOOO

You were a GOOD dog! *sob*

[breelandwalker]

Sneak Preview of The Sisters Grimmoire Vol. II - Gilded Locks

So he went into the first room. A cauldron was hanging from the walls; it was boiling, but the Prince could see no fire under it. "I wonder what is inside it," he thought, and dipped a lock of his hair in, and the hair became just as if it were all made of copper. "That's a nice kind of soup. If anyone were to taste that his throat would be gilded," said the youth, and then he went into the next chamber. There, too, a cauldron was hanging from the wall, bubbling and boiling, but there was no fire under this either.

"I will just try what this is like too," said the Prince, thrusting another lock of his hair into it, and it came out silvered over. "Such costly soup is not to be had in my father's palace," said the Prince; "but everything depends on how it tastes," and then he went into the third room. There, too, a cauldron was hanging from the wall, boiling, exactly the same as in the two other rooms, and the Prince took pleasure in trying this also, so he dipped a lock of hair in, and it came out so brightly gilded that it shone again.

-The Master-Maid (The Blue Fairy Book)

-----

Intent: To braid wealth into the caster's hair.

Materials:

Hair long enough to braid

Copper, silver, and gold-colored embroidery floss

Rubber bands (if desired)

Ideal Timing: Waxing Moon is best, but this spell can be performed anytime.

Acquire three pieces of embroidery floss the same length as your hair. One should be copper, one should be silver, and one should be golden. Approximate as best you can; they don't need to be metallic, or to contain any of the actual precious metals. If desired, this can also be done with "fairy hair" or long strands of fine tinsel.

Align the three strands with a small lock of your hair. Knot the strands together around the lock, as close to your scalp as you can get it. (If you prefer, you can use a small rubber band for this step.)

Divide the small lock of your hair in half and braid, using the embroidery flosses as the third piece. Alternatively, you can divide the lock into thirds and match one piece of floss to each strand. Tie everything off together at the end. If you'd like to make a larger braid, you can add additional pieces of floss, so long as there are equal numbers of each color. For a fun touch, you can dab some Amber oil onto the embroidery floss before braiding, or add a lucky charm to the end when you've finished.

Leave the braid in until the night of the Full Moon, or until the desired financial boost manifests itself, whichever comes first.

This spell is geared toward individuals with hair that is long enough to hold a braid, but this is not a requirement. In the absence of long hair, you can weave in a piece of sewing thread the same color as your hair (whatever that happens to be). Wet the thread with your saliva and allow it to dry before braiding. This will tie the charm to you the same way a piece of your hair would. Wear the finished braid around your wrist or ankle until the wish manifests itself or the braid breaks and falls off.

-from the forthcoming book, The Sisters Grimmoire, Vol. II; © 2021 Bree NicGarran

(If you’re enjoying my content, please feel free to drop a little something in the tip jar, tune in to my monthly show Hex Positive on your favorite podcast app, or check out my published works on Amazon or in the Willow Wings Witch Shop. 😊)

More Fairy Tale Spells:

[moonmeg]

I don't want to break the good mood we're having about the Bowers again but I recently started rereading some of Breeil's comics (yeah maybe I'm a little obsessed with them, who isn't?), and that one in particular where Edan talks about how Bree was mean and cold and Neil denies it saying she was just afraid to trust anyone again It got me thinking, what was Bree's relationship or dynamic with the whole family before she started being "friendly"?

I mean, was it similar to how Phillip didn't interact much with the Clawthornes when he was at their house, he just stayed in his room and was practically on his own all the time? You said it took a while for her to even call Neil a friend and before that she wasn't exactly nice and I don't think that was much different with the others.

I don't know, maybe I'm wrong but I could imagine how at least one of the siblings felt uncomfortable with this whole situation. Like Imagine sharing the same roof with a person who doesn't speak to you and the first thing you know about that person is that they treated your brother like shit 😭

Please don't take it as hate I love my queen Bree I've just been curious about this topic for a long time and I didn't know exactly how to say it and didn't want to give off bad vibes 😔😔

Oh no, please always feel free to break the good mood. Being obsessed with Breeil is very understandable, can't blame you. Though, it's hard to believe other people are obsessed with my OCs. I'll take it as a compliment though.

Now to the question:

Other than Philip and the Clawthornes, Breena did participate in the everyday life of the Bowers, joined them for breakfast, lunch and dinner, agreed to lend a hand and absolutely didn't isolate herself. It was her way of repaying the Bowers for letting her stay even a night in the first place. However, she didn't talk much with anyone during those activities and if she did her tone was always strained with a hint of rudeness. She used a lot of sarcasm and sometimes mild back-handed insults. Every "Thank you" was in combination with an eye roll. She kept talking about leaving and ridding them all of her presence for good but never went through with it because something kept her there. Something inside of her wanted to stay. Something inside of her felt home. And she'd have her good moments too! Genuinely smiling, doing little things like mending a quilt in the dark and secrecy of the night or do work around the house or fields, go on stand duty without being asked to and never taking credit for it just because she wanted to do something nice.

There wasn't a single member of the Bower household, who didn't think Breena's stay odd or uncomfortable sometimes, some just hid it better than others. Even Neil had his doubts at times. Breena wasn't oblivious to that. In fact, most of her behavior was a form of intentional self-sabotage because she didn't believe Neil in particular would be this kind to her, let alone possibly like her and if he wasn't fazed much by her rudeness and kept seeing the good in her, she went for what's important ti him: his family. If his family didn't like her and complained about her enough, he'd lose his patience quicker.

Look, Breena was like 16 and had been through a lot in her childhood and her time on the road. For most of her life she grew up to believe she wasn't worth any kindness or anything at all for that matter. Her thought process here is irrational and her goal unclear and confusing. But it's supposed to be just that.

[misslavenderlady]

I'm here with some questions about our girl Bree~!!!

How did she find out they were vamps in the first place? I mean, did she figure most of it put on her own, or did the boys show their true side to her?

And what are the Frogs + Sammy's thoughts on her? If the Frogs know her at least. 👀

CHERRYYYYYY!! This is my first ever ask about Bree!!! I'm so excited! Rest assured, I will have an actual side blog up for her soon but in the meantime I am more than happy to answer any questions about her here

🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

So Bree is a registered nurse, meaning she has plenty of medical knowledge from her studies and experience. It's easy for her to figure out when something is wrong. She met the boys the first night they ever popped into the doctors office she works at. David asked for her to examine his wrist because he crashed his bike while doing a stunt (a little callback to the injury kiefer got before they started filming)

Obviously during the exam Bree noticed there was no pulse in his wrist, and feared something was wrong. She tried to listen for his heartbeat with her stethoscope but found nothing. When she excused herself to get another stethoscope and try again, David and the boys had mysteriously vanished.

They returned again another night. She tried to ask questions, but the boys lead her in circles with their mysterious words (that or they just didn't answer her, opting to just giggle playfully). Dwayne, Paul and Marko all got checkups too. Whether it was asking for a flu shot, getting a cough checked or just making up some disease to get her to touch them, they adored playing games. Each time they did, she found something new wrong. The biggest kicker was when she drew blood at David's request, and was shocked to find the blood was glittery and dark.

She fainted from the shock, and was found and cared for by Michael after she woke up. The boys had left by that point.

At first she thought there had to be some logical explanation. She's a bright woman that values science and research. In a way, she was more fascinated than she was horrified. She thought they were all some kind of medical anomaly. Four boys with an unknown illness.

But then the visits started. Or rather, the "dreams" as she thought they were.

Bree would have moments in the dead of night where she'd hear voices whispering to her. Images of the boys in her room, asking if she wanted to be one of them. To know what they were. They told her to turn away from her medical journal and look more to her beloved monster books. When she awoke, she did just that. She poured over all her favorite stories, particularly Dracula and Camilla. Everything began to make a lot more sense.

At the moment, David and the boys have not outright said what they are, as they're biding their time for the right moment (especially with Michael still a part of their game). But there's this unspoken agreement between them and Bree. A bond made by a shared secret. She knows what they are, but she's not frightened. She's interested. Curious. Attracted to them.

She wants to get to know them more, and they feel the same about her~

Since Michael works at the same doctors office, the other Emersons pop in to say hi to both him and Bree. During the summer Sam and the Frogs come by for the school physicals, which are done by Bree. She thinks Sam is a nice kid, but find the Frog brothers a bit odd. They give her cryptic warnings about monsters and that they suspect the return of vampires they once slayed. When she tries to ask Sam about it, he tells her that Michael isn't very comfortable with sharing that story.

To her, the Emersons are just as mysterious as the Lost Boys. Granted, they're very kind and wonderful to be around, but she wishes they would open up to her. She really likes Michael and he likes her. It breaks her heart to see him and his brother struggling with their demons from the past.

Little does she know that such a thing is more literal in the sense.

In the meantime, she's happy to chat with the kids, so long as they behave. She also gives them stickers as a little gift. They claim they're too old for stickers, but secretly love them.

[drvcxrys]

hello (: so finally this is my starter call/plot call. slowly i'm going to post all my outfits for my characters and you can find them here. i'm going to be capping at 4 per muse so ask away :D

prob not going or maybe just lurking outside the ball or something:

annabeth chase: thalia grace or clarisse la rue

jean grey

malia tate

samantha carpenter: tara carpenter

yelena belova.

alice cullen going solo.

she really doesn't need a date to just have fun. right now alice wanted just to have an excuse to wear a very nice outfit for the night because let's be honest, everything is an excuse when it comes to shopping and buy something pretty to wear. thread (2/4): yoon chi woo, apple

alice jones/tilly going with robin hood-mills.

she just wants to have a blast with her fiance, just enjoying their date night with no worries about anything else. of course she might just look around and explore a bit from time to time as well. thread (0/4):

alicent hightower going with ridoc (blind date)

she doesn't know how she ended up doing this but she decided to just be out of her comfort zone and see what the night lead her, she just want a night for herself to relax a bit because work has been stressful as well so this was perfect for doing that. thread (0/4):

anna of arendelle going with kristoff bjorgman

she's very touched that kristoff decided to go with her here, it's been a while since they actually get to be in a ball and she kind of miss those interactions. anna is a very social person so honestly she would love to meet new people as well and just enjoy herself. thread (2/4): xie lian, elsa

annie cresta going with finnick odair

annie loves the idea of spending time with her husband so being here with him is just fantastic so she's going to try and take advantage of this night to just having a good time and trying to be as social as she can as well. thread (0/4):

betty cooper going with ning yingying (blind date)

she wasn't expecting doing this at all but she wanted to try and get out of her comfort zone and this blind date was a good thing in a way, so she just want to have a good time here, that was all, being social because that's why she's here, for being social. thread (1/4): lee jordan

beverly marsh going with peter hale

this is her chance to just let loose and relax a bit and what better way than with her boyfriend? she's going with peter and her idea is just to have fun and trying to forget about almost everything. of course that besides that she's also going to be very social even wanting to meet new people and interact with others. thread (0/4):

bianca di angelo going with lucerys velaryon

this is her first time in an event like this, she's not used to a ball or dressing up to go to one but she wanted to try and give this a chance, she's going to have a bit in a awe about some things that's for sure, especially about some new things in this place. thread (1/4): - parvati patil

bree tanner going with diego

she just wants to spend her time with diego now that she has her in her life once again, this time was the perfect opportunity for that because this seems like a very fun event. however, now that she will be with a lot of humans in the room she might try to have more control than ever, she was able to have that control until now but she's still new about this so is still hard. thread (0/4):

buffy summers going with angel

buffy loves to put a nice outfit and going to dance, to interact with people so this is the perfect opportunity for that, hoping that maybe everything is going to stay like that for the moment, that's what she would love, a night off from the supernaturals and the sources of evil and all of that. thread (0/4):

caroline forbes going with stefan salvatore

she's all over the moon about this, being here with stefan was perfect considering she never thought that she was ever going to see him again so this was just perfect for her. and besides, she loves these events so much, she loves planning them of course but she also just loves going to them as well. thread (1/4): - josie saltzman

carrie white going with dorothy gale

last time she went to an event like this one ended up really badly so she didn't know about being here but dorothy told her and she is starting to trust some people so she decided to give this a chance, she's very shy and a bit reserved so it's gonna be hard to open up but she will try to do that and give this night an opportunity. thread (0/4):

choi nam ra going with evangeline ennar (blind date)

she never thought that she was going to put herself in this blind date thing but she did, maybe to be out of her comfort zone, to try something new so that's why she was here and she wants to just spend her night in a fun way, without caring much about anything else, like a regular girl. thread (0/4):

claudia going with abigail blyg

this is new. she loves a good party but she never expected to go with someone here but she is not upset about this, she's just enjoying herself right now and she will try to do just that, enjoy herself and her time here, trying not to cause too much chaos at least. thread (0/4):

clove kentwell going with cato hadley

not her ideal scenario but she decided to just go and going with cato was a plus so at least she wasn't alone here, at least that was something. she's going to try and relax a bit here but who knows, since this is not her type of scenario she just feels a bit out of place at times. thread (0/4):

daenerys targaryen going with nehemia ygter

this is a very nice place to be in. she must to admit that she's a bit excited to be here with nehemia, it's not her first time in an event like this one but still she's not used to events in this place so she will just try to enjoy the night and forget about everything with her date. thread (1/4): - nehemia

daphne bridgerton going with simon basset

a night off with her husband now that he remembers everything? of course. she's very excited about this. this is really daphne scenario, she loves a ball, dancing, putting a nice dress...it's like back home so she will really enjoy this night. thread (1/4): diana

elizabeth midford going with ciel phantomhive

this is like back home, she loves to dress up and going to an event like this, especially if she's going here with ciel because let's face it, she might've insisted a bit for him to take care, her mission is to make him have a good time as well because she knows that she will have a good time here. thread (0/4):

emma swan going with silco (blind date)

this is new for her because honestly is not like she enjoys the idea of a blind date and she's not sure this is even going to work but she decided to go and just enjoying her night here, that was all, she deserve this kind of break after everything that happened here in washington. thread (0/4):

gwen stacy going solo

she enjoys something to distract herself so this was perfect, she has been alive for a month or so and she's trying to adjust so this was the perfect opportunity. thread (0/4):

hanna marin going with ahura boltagon

she's not holding any king of hope to this blind date because honestly she is not really the type of girl that do that but she ended up doing this anyway just to see how it goes. but one thing is for sure, she will really going to enjoy her time here because she loves those type of events, she really loves to put a nice outfit and going there. thread (2/4): - emily fields, charlotte dilaurentis

heidi volturi going solo

she wasn't going at first but she ended up going mostly because maybe just maybe she could even hunt in here, it could be a good buffet in her eyes so she was going to see, basically is that. thread (1/4): lu junyi

hermione granger going with harry potter

she really wants to have a good night here just a night off from everything but besides that, she thought this could be the perfect opportunity for harry and her to talk about some things that happened before maybe and see how that goes as well. thread (1/4): cho chang

hope mikaelson going with landon kirby

now that finally she has landon with her, she's so happy that she's able to go with him to a ball like this and that everything finally seems okay so even if this is not her type of event, she just wants to have fun with her boyfriend and friends too. thread (0/4):

isabelle lightwood going with simon lewis

she really enjoys this type of events because she can dress to impress and she just loves that. being here with her fiance was just perfect because finally they can do something out of their routine, having a night off. just in case though, she will always be alert because who knows what can also might happen here. thread (2/4): max lightwood, jester

jane going solo

she really enjoys this type of dance, dressing up and just being able to enjoy herself so she's going to do that or at least try to do that in this place hopefully nothing really is going to ruin that. thread (0/4):

jessica riley going with mike munroe

this was the perfect night for them to just have some fun like good old times. this was her second chance to live once again so she's going to take advantage of this at full. thread (0/4)

jill roberts going with billy loomis

it's been a while since she goes to an event like this one and honestly she's kind of excited about this because it would be the perfect date night, not really thinking about anything else but this and just have a good moment. thread (0/4)

kagome higurashi going solo

she decided to go to this valentine's mini gala because she was basically bored so she decided to try something new and that's why basically she was here to try and be more social as well. thread (0/4)

kara danvers going solo

she likes the idea of being here and distract herself from everything that's been happening in washington. but she's also here just in case something bad might happen, she's always on guard just in case but she is going to try and have a good time as well. thread (0/4)

katara going solo

she wants to do something new so that's why she's here, trying to be social and interact with people as well, just blend in, in general, she's here to just have a good time. thread (0/4)

leslie macher going with feirge (blind date)

this is new to her, blind date and all, but she decided to give it a try, trying something new is something that she likes to do so she's very determinate to have a good time and just forget about everything else that might be troubling her. thread (0/4)

lila pitts going with diego hargreeves

this is what people call normal and it's something they were actually looking for, trying to be normal for a change so being in this mini gala was something perfect for them to just let loose and enjoy their time here. thread (0/4)

lissa dragomir going with isaac lahey

that's something she's used to, she likes about being here and just trying to a good time, it's the first time that she celebrates valentines here so she's wondering how is going to be the event, she's curious about it. thread (0/4)

lucy gray baird going solo

a dance, an event like this is something she actually enjoys. now that finally she's free, she wants to try and just have a good time, that's all without caring much about anything else and just enjoying herself. thread (1/4): tigris snow

mary stuart going solo

mary enjoys this kind of events, and the museum seems nice to just explore a bit and see what this place has to offer. thread (2/4) - chu wanning, jane

myrcella baratheon going with baela targaryen

she feels so excited to be here, especially with baela because she likes her very much and she's so happy that they can do this together. she's here to just have a good time, explore the place and being social as well with people around her. thread (0/4)

nancy wheeler going with steve harrington

nancy is really hoping that this valentine is going to be calm and not like the last one but for now she's happy she can be here with steve, she wants to have a good night here, being with her friends. thread (0/4)

narcissa black going with rabastan lestrange

being here with rabastan was just perfect especially because they've been looking for a way to just enjoy a bit of calmness and just a good night and relaxing as well, so in her eyes this was perfect, at least for now. thread (0/4)

rachel amber going with jessica stanley (blind date)

she is unsure about this, this is her first time going in a blind date but she decided to have a good night and just enjoying herself here, not really her scenario after everything that happened in arcadia bay but she might try to get out of her comfort zone. thread (0/4)

rapunzel corona going solo

this is going to be a fun night for her and just trying to enjoy herself and since she's like a social butterfly she will be interacting with people, just dancing and exploring the museum as well. thread (1/4): wei wuxian

regina george going with emily davis (blind date)

this is really something she enjoys to do, being in this mini gala is perfect to dress to impress and be the queen she is. this blind date seems interesting as well so she's going to play nice or as nice as she can be and see how it goes everything. thread (0/4)

rhaena targaryen going solo

this a very nice event, she's here just to have a great time and she doesn't really mind about being here alone, she just wants to explore this place and even meet new people as well. thread (0/4)

sakura kinomoto going solo

sakura is in awe about those type of things, she is just sad that her best friend tomoyo is not here with her or that syaron is also not here but she's going to try and enjoy her night here and especially meet people and be social because she's a very social person. thread (0/4)

santana lopez going with brittany pierce

being here with brittany was perfect, she really loves the company of her and she just wants to spend the best night with her, that's all. she's going to be there dancing, drinking and just having a blast. thread (0/4)

sara lance going with fiona gallagher

honestly for sara being here with someone she likes is perfect, usually she flirts a lot more with girls but this time is a bit different because she actually is smitten by fiona so she is going to spend her night mostly drinking, dancing with her and if there is kissing perhaps. but she would also be social with people if she bumps into someone she knows or if she bumps into someone in general because she's basically a talker. thread (2/4) - ava, hunter

tohru honda going solo

this is her first mini gala event so she's very excited. she misses her friends, of course, but she decided to try and distract herself going and of course she's going to also try and just socialize with people in general. thread (0/4)

usagi tsukino going solo

she is going alone basically because she can't see herselg going in some type of gala without mamoru, it makes her sad he's not here or her other friends are not here as well but she decided to try and have a good time, at least this time she's not that alone here considering setsuna is also around. she's going to be a social butterfly here as well. thread (0/4)

veruca salt going solo

this is the perfect opportunity to show off her dress, accesories and everything that she was able to buy for this special occasion and also the perfect opportunity for her to meet new people as well. thread (0/4):

victoire weasley going with teddy lupin

a date night with teddy is something she honestly would love so much to do so this was just the perfect opportunity. she feels this night is going to be perfect to just enjoy herself, being with the people she loves and relax herself as well. thread (1/4): scorpius malfoy

wednesday addams going with louis weasley

honestly, she didn't want to go but after louis insisting a lot, like really a lot, she ended up accepting but is not like she's happy about it, she's just going to be herself and trying to enjoy herself just how she is, that was all. thread (0/4)

win wanichakarnjonkul going with team siriyothin

being here with team was perfect, win really loves the idea of having some kind of date night in this mini gala with him and just enjoying themselves, he's very happy about this. thread (0/4)

[fangaminghell]

insurgence rewrite ocs? also are you keeping the amnesia bit? (also eee someone else rewriting insurgence!)

As of right now, I have two ocs! Yancy(they/them), the main protagonist,and their mom, Bree(she/her)!

I tried talking about Yancy before, along side Damian, but it got too long and felt convoluted. What you should know that, yes, Yancy has amnesia like the player. The end result of that is them being more...apathetic, to the things surrounding them. Having no memories of who they were and what were they like kinda left them in a state that they just don't seem to react to the things around them. They don't even speak much, preferring to just listen. That isn't to say they don't care about things, they do, but for the early parts of the story, they are pretty much just going along with whatever is happening. Though, tbh, that's kinda a Yancy thing in general, with or without the amnesia. Yancy's relationship to Damian is pretty important! Two lonely kids who end up getting attached to one another, and yet, Yancy doesn't seem to give as much as Damian does, and Damian tends to assume what Yancy wants. This comes to a head when Damian get's taken over by the pokevirus, and that's when Yancy realized how important Damian is to them. It hurts even more since Damian ( under the influenced of the virus) stated how he truly felt: he felt like Yancy ( and Nora) didn't really care about him. That they didn't see him as a friend as much as he did. And the scary part is that he was kinda right! It made Yancy really think about how they've been treating Damian before hand. Que Yancy and Nora's "I miss Damian" arc.

Bree is Yancy's mom! That wasn't the case before, she was some lady that ended up being involved with the kids ( against her will) but after thinking about it, I ended up changing her to be Yancy's mom! I'm still figuring out her role with the plot itself but here's the deal: Her and Adam? About to get a divorce. For several reasons- Adam's work as augur was taking away a lot of time from his family. Taking away time from their marriage. Bree was also busy, as a news reporter, but she at least tried to give time to her family. She doesn't blame Adam, btw! This was just her realizing that things weren't going to work. There's also the issue of, uh, Adam preferring to hide Yancy away so the cults won't get to them, and Bree being like " hey man, maybe don't isolate our kid even if it's to keep them safe". So there was also that. Bree is overall a nice woman, hard working and doesn't take kindly to nonsense, but simply wants the best for those she loves. When Adam and Yancy were pressumed dead, the poor woman grieved hard, part of her feeling it was her fault. One thing I'm always debating on is whether or not she was aware it was Jaern. If she did know, then Jaern would have had the woman under his thumb, and was probably be forced to spread propoganda for him. She doesn't want to do it, but any other option meant death. If she didn't know, then Jaern would have acted as a friend to Bree, comforting her in her time of need. While she is grateful, and was eager to vouch for him, Bree isn't dumb. She's a news reporter after all, her job is to be aware of her surroundings. She grows suspicious of Jaern over the years, but can't ever really find solid proof of anything, not to mention the guilt of being suspicious of a dear friend. Regardless of which one I choose, one way or another, she will see Yancy again, her child. And that alone is enough for her to take action. Again, I don't know how specifically, but yeah! That's Bree, she's so cool.

I don't want to leave Yancy with amnesia forever, of course, though I'd imagine Dream Eater is a very efficient way of losing memories, so maybe a trip to the Dream World would help get them back? Or maybe some help of the Timeless? Who knows, I'm still working on it.

Upon writing this I realized I have more ocs, lmao! Whoops. In fairness I haven't thought of her in some time.

Demeter is dead by the time the plot starts, but her impact is pretty important. She is the mother of Diana and Persephone, and a powerful magician. She was the one who created The Oracle, Seren. Demeter was well aware of the power she held, was well aware of how favorable it was for the cults around her- so she hid her and her children away in the forest, protected by a seal. Only she was allowed to go outside of the seal, giving her daughters the strict rule of staying within the seal. Of course, being rebellious children, they disobeyed, and was promptly captured by the Infernal Cult. Demeter found them, and tried to save them with her powers but....she ended up failing, and dying in the process. While she isn't present in the main story, her over protectiveness, her death, as well as being taken in by the infernal cult, caused a looooot of trauma for the twins.

The final oc is honestly just a concept - I don't want to make things super complicated by adding so many ocs when the game already has a lot of characters- but! I've been thinking about adding another chosen one- one that's chosen by marshadow. The concept is that she's a young thief, particularly raiding ruins cause " no one cares if ruins get raided lmao" ( Nora cares. Nora cares a lot), all in effort to make money ( and bc it's fun). Ever since I started developing East more, I've been playing around with the idea that she could be East's adopted sister or something, and the reason she's stealing so much is to help East gain money to run away from Jaern. Not that East knows any of this. Again, it's honestly a cool idea, but I'm worried about crowding things up.

And yeah! That's all the ocs I have!!!!!

[puckhq]

You took for granted seeds we planted when we were young || CLUSTERFUCK 2.0

tagging: Eva Anderson ( @anderseva ), Morgan Weston ( @morgan-weston ), Santana Lopez ( @psusantana ), Jake Puckerman ( @puckjake ), Bree Brown ( @blckbarbree ) & Noah Puckerman

date & time: October 30, 2024 at night

location: Bree's fancy ass apartment

warnings: mentions of alcohol

summary: And here we go again. Another clusterfuck for Jake's video roll on his phone. Santana, Bree and Jake all worked together to get the Throuple in one place to finally talk their shit out. Except some truths are revealed and now things might be worse than ever. Communication is hard.

word count: 5,808

MORGAN hadn’t known it was Jake’s birthday until mid-afternoon, when a text had come through on his phone, while he was elbow-deep in horse grooming, inviting him over for drinks at Bree’s place. Seven hours later, Morgan stood outside the apartment, clutching a gift-wrapped box. When he’d found out about Jake’s birthday, he felt a small pang of guilt - he probably should’ve known. Jake was dating Bree, and Bree had become like a sister to him; and not to forget about the fact that Jake was actually Puck’s half-brother. Not that that mattered right now, even if Morgan tried his best to make it matter. So, Morgan had scrambled to the nearest bike shop and picked out a pair of leather gloves - good ones, sturdy but soft, the kind that felt broken in the moment they were slipped on. The gloves weren’t anything grand, but they’d pair nicely with the motorcycle Morgan had gifted Jake not too long ago. When the door opened, Morgan smiled softly. “I couldn’t show up empty-handed, could I?” He said, first thing and held up the present.

JAKE was still wrapping his mind around practically cutting his mom off for the time being, but with his birthday finally here, he could finally put all of that behind him. Him and Bree still needed to deal with their own mess but for the sake of his brother's current situation, he'd happily agreed to his girl's plan to get the throuple together, and then Santana had jumped on board as well. Getting Puck to Bree's place for what he thought was a chill dinner was simple, and the same had happened with Morgan. He let Bree handle getting Eva there, and once the show was set to start, Santana had made up a reason to get Puck out of the living room area once someone knocked on the door. Once the coast was clear, Jake walked over and opened up the door, and he was surprised to see him with a gift. "Dude, you already gave me your bike, that was present enough." He smiled as he stepped aside after taking the gift bag from the man. "Come on in. Dinner is just about to start, but that's Bree's forte." He pointed out before glancing around behind him to look for his girlfriend. "Bree?"

BREE was fully aware this was probably a terrible idea. However, Eva was her favorite woman, pretty much ever, Morgan was a friend and Puck was basically her brother-in-law. An it did not sit right with her that these two men weren't being as forthcoming with Eva as they needed to be, as she deserved and apparently it was worth pissing her Professor, PR team manager, and friend(?) off to give them an opportunity to say what needed to be said. As she made sure the catered meal was warm and ready to eat, she heard her name being called. Coming into view of Jake and Morgan, she smiled at her boyfriend, while scanning the area, glad to see it looked like Santana had moved her and Puck somewhere else. "Yes, hi, come in." She smiled, and all but pushed Morgan to the kitchen.

PUCK unwillingly followed Santana into another room. Looked like a spare bedroom and he was realizing that Bree was like, rich rich. Which he knew, but he'd never really seen. Not like he would recognize luxury brand clothing or whatever. Looking a the mother of his child he furrowed his eyebrows. "Now why exactly did you want me alone in a bedroom? You know we don't have to have sex if you wanna have another one of my kids." He smiled at his own joke.

SANTANA rolled her eyes at Puck's words. "First of all, don't insult me. I threatened, and then bribed, the hospital so as soon as I pushed Maya out, my tubes were tied. That was the first and only baby that will ever come outta this body." She pointed out. "But I wanted you alone to remind you that I care about you, and I owe you the world for everything you've done for Maya, so just keep that in mind when you find out what your brother, your future sister in law, and I set up." That should have been enough of a hint as to what was coming, but it was also Puck so she wasn't sure if he'd catch onto that.

JAKE had to bite back a chuckle as Morgan was pushed into the kitchen by Bree, but then he followed anyways. "We should probalby start eating, and get out some drinks — the good stuff — right now." He suggested, since he wasn't sure if Puck would end up hearing Morgan's voice and come out of the bedroom yet.

MORGAN shrugged and gave a small smile. "That bike was given to you as a 'thank you' for that time on campus," he started, but continuing almost made him wince at the memory and the pain it had left behind. He stepped into the room, and let the topic go, instead greeting Bree with a warm smile and a small wave. He hadn't seen her since the morning after their drunken night that he didn't remember a thing of, and in a weird way, it felt kind of comforting to be her and Jake's third wheel in this situation. "D'ya need a hand or anythin'?" He asked, slightly confused about being pushed into the kitchen, but figured it was because he probably had to help out. "The good stuff? What good stuff, man? Y'know, I'm drivin' tonight, so I can't go as crazy as Bree and I did a few days ago."

JAKE decided not to comment on the reason why he'd gotten the bike, since he was sure that the classroom fiasco contributed to why the throuple was in the position they were in now, and instead just focused on the fact that he wanted to get some food before the show started. "Don't worry, we've got it." He suggested, and they did mostly, since Santana had practically laid out the fine china dinnerware, the utensils, the cups, etc. The Latina had been rather dedicated to helping Bree get everything laid out just in case this shit went downhill fast. Jake was piling food onto a plate for himself when he heard a knock at the door, and knowing it could only be one person, he put the plate down in front of Morgan. "Babe, pour the wine." He called out as he jogged over and opened up the door for Eva.

EVA had been expecting this to just be a chill night in with Bree, so she was dressed down and completely unprepared when it was little Puckerman opening the door instead. "Why are you here?" She asked before just walking past Jake, and the aroma of food coming from the kitchen led her straight in that direction until she spotted Morgan. "Bree Bianca Brown, what the fuck is this?" She huffed, already annoyed at this little ambush.

BREE really wasn't listening to anything anyone was saying. Instead, she was attuned to that front door and waiting for that fateful knock. Sooner than she was ready there it was. Popping open a bottle of good winne she poured herself a glass and chugged it. Hearing her full government named, she looked at Morgan, "If you'll excuse me." Then she went to the front door. met with a very unamused Eva. "Before you get mad, just remember I'm on your side."

PUCK wasn't surprised Santana managed to get her tubes tied so early in life. A bad ass through and through and he was glad that their daughter seemed to inheriet so much from her. Even if it did cause some challenges from time to time."Yeah, okay, not sure what that's got to do with Jake's birthday dinner. I mean, I already knew y'all set that up." Before he ould even have another thought, he heard a voice ring out through this big ass apartment and he'd know that voice anywhere. Without even looking back at Santana he just left the room and followed where the voice came from until he was face to face with Eva. Looking at his brother, he was starting to put the pieces together. "The fuck is going on?"

MORGAN watched as Jake started scooping food onto the plate, and he was about to speak up when there was a knock on the door. Morgan was pretty sure he'd been the only one invited tonight, for whatever reason, but maybe a family member was coming over? Or a close friend? Either way, Morgan quietly grabbed the plate as Jake exited the room, and just continued to scoop the food up, figuring that Jake wouldn't mind. It wasn't until he heard that familiar voice that he looked up, seeing Eva on the opposite of the kitchen island. "I-" he wasn't allowed to finish his sentence when the door opened again and Puck was stood right there, next to Eva. "This- I'm-...I was invited!" He quickly tried to reason, wanting them to know he hadn't planned for this. Sure, he was trying to win them back, but this wasn't on his list of ways.

EVA could only roll her eyes as Puck walked out next, and then she didn't even need Morgan to defend himself because she could already tell that Bree and Jake had set this up. Or at least she had assumed it was just them until she spotted Santana walking down the hall next, and now it really made sense. "Just so we're all clear, the last little ambush didn't go so well, so why are we doing this again?"

SANTANA didn't really get the confusion on the throuple's faces, or their lack of appreciation for the hard work that had gone into tricking all three of them like this, but she wasn't gonna stand for it either. "It's too late to yell this out, but surprise! Yes, all three of you were unaware that this was happening and yes, the three of us did set this up because we care about all of you. If any of you wanna fight about it, I'm down, but I'd advise you not to." She sassed with a grin. "Now, sit your asses down and talk." Was she demanding it? Yes. The only one who might fight her back on it was Eva, that much she knew, so she didn't even say anything else as she walked over and grabbed her hand, shoving her over on the couch. "Jake, you're guarding the door. Bree, get the wine. Puck and Morgan, both of you fucked up, again, so it's only fair that one of you start."

JAKE didn't know why Santana was always bossing everyone around, but he wasn't stupid enough to disobey a direct order from her either so he grabbed a chair from the dining room and placed it in front of the door. "Since it is my birthday, can someone get me a plate before the show starts?" He teased, sitting down in the chair and taking his phone out to record this, since he knew it would come in handy later.

BREE was glad that Santana was there, because even Bree can admit, Eva would have walked out, maybe Puck and Morgan too and all of this would have been for nothing. So she did as she was told and went to get the wine. Very good wine, that she knew for a fact was Eva's favorite. So she looked at Jake before she went to go get wine glasses and fill up two decanters.

PUCK kind of wanted to just leave, but it was his brother's birthday and Santana wasn't to be fucked with. So he sat down, not next to Eva and watched as Bree came in with the glasses and wine and he found himself struggling to look at Morgan right now. All of this didn't even feel real and he needed a minute for his brain to boot back up. "Can I get water or something?" He asked Bree, he was trying not to drink anymore. It was one of the many things he was obtaining from for the time being.

MORGAN was as confused as he always was - except maybe just slightly more than usual. The last time this had happened, it had not gone down well, and Morgan knew better than to try and talk to Puck and Eva, while there were other people there. But Santana was intimidating and he didn't know what she'd do if he just jumped out of the kitchen window, so he just slowly followed the group into the living room with the plate of food in hand. He decided to place his tall body in the doorway between the living room and dining room, so he could watch everything unfold from there. Puck refusing alcohol was an incredibly welcomed sight, and it warmed his heart, his eyes softening as he stared a little bit too long at him. But then he snapped out of it and he figured it'd be best to maybe speak up, since he was the one who'd last done everyone wrong anyway. "So- err...you both look good." He said, eyes darting between Eva and Puck.

SANTANA wasn't gonna let Bree serve everybody herself, since she probably was the most foreign to such out of the women in the room, so she got up and grabbed a plate of food for Jake. It was the least they could do since they had jacked whatever birthday plans he could have had with Bree. And busying herself was the only way to keep her from not slapping both Morgan and Puck in the back of their heads for being idiots, so she didn't even mind it this one time. But as soon as Morgan finally opened up his mouth to greet them, that urge increased. "Well, that's not how I'd greet people I claim to love after I royally fuck some shit up, but sure, Weston. Nice opening." She stated sarcastically, handing Jake his plate and a glass of wine before she went back for her own.

EVA could have left now, and she wasn't afraid of Santana so she'd fight her way out of here if she had to, but this was the first time she'd seen Puck since finding out what he'd done in lockdown. While dumbass #1 had tried to love bomb her since she'd last seen him, dumbass #2 hadn't so much as said a single word to her since she'd cried in his arms, and that horrifying moment alone called for some ounce of accountability on his part. "I always look good." She tossed at Morgan without even looking his way as her eyes were trained on Puck...for now. "Since we're clearly not getting out of this, let's skip the bullshit. Noah, what did you do during lockdown? Better yet, who did you do, and before you think about lying, he already ratted you out so your best bet is to just be honest."

PUCK could feel Eva's eyes on him and he was rebooted enough to know that he better look back. Probably the least he could do since he hadn't reached out to her since she cried on his shoulder. Which he now understands was also a dick move. And selfish and definitely not the actions of a man who loves her, so when she started asking about lockdown, it wasn't until she mentioned him telling her that he even realized she already knew. Fucking, Morgan. Couldn't even give Puck the ability to tell Eva himself. He decided to talk to Eva first and then deal with Morgan after. Look at that, him thinking, what an improvement. Thankfully, Bree came back with a water and he thanked her before chugging half the bottle. "On day four of the lockdown I got shit faced, had sex with some chick, kept drinking, then punched a wall. That's how I hurt my hand. I should have told you myself. Even if I didn't tell you that day we talked. I should have reached out and I should have told you the truth, instead of making excuses to justify not talking to you yet. I'm sorry for what I did during lockdown. I'm sorry for not telling you about it myself. I'm sorry for not reaching out and for ghosting you again." Now, Puck wanted to immediately throw Morgan under the bus but he wanted to Give him the opportunity he robbed Puck of to tell Eva himself and he wanted to get Eva the space to process what he said and say whatever she needed to say in return. He wasn't perfect and he knew he had a lot to answer for but he was trying.

MORGAN watched Santana, eyes squinting a little at her comment and he was about to speak up when Eva decided to go straight for Puck's throat, calling out his lack of communication. Morgan didn't even know about that part. To a certain degree, he was happy he'd told Eva, even if it wasn't his place to do so. He didn't know if Puck had planned on talking to her about it or not, but there was constantly that nagging in the back of his head, bringin him back into the classroom to be taught about Communications 101, and surely, telling Eva these things was a part of the curriculum, right? On the other hand, he could see how wrong it was too. This was Puck's story to tell, and so once the other man stopped, Morgan gave Jake his plate, leaving the man with two plates full of food now, and he stepped forward. "I'm sorry, too. Everything that I said those days; things came out so wrong. But I thought y'all deserved that kind of communication from me, y'know?"

EVA wasn't surprised that Puck had the sense to just come clean now, and she appreciated his little apology but it was too late for that too. She'd already told him once before about the ghosting, which he had a habit of doing whenever he'd fucked something up, and that should have been the first red flag that caused her to be done with this. Yet she'd ignored that one, and some others, so here they were. She didn't even need to process it since Morgan had given her the rundown of the important shit anyways, so she was about to brush off the apology until Morgan stepped towards them and uttered one of his own. That earned him an eye roll. "I'm pretty sure nothing came out wrong, Morgan." Everything he said had been crystal clear, in her opinion, so she didn't know why he was inserting himself into this right now. Turning her attention back to Puck, she shrugged. "I get how shitty your dad was, and how everything he's said and done has probably fucked you up, but that can't constantly be your excuse for why you make shitty decisions. Morgan and I both agreed on that when he told me what you did, and honestly, fuck you for letting me cry and be vulnerable and not having the balls to just be honest. That's a dick move." She huffed.

PUCK simply nodded at her words. Even though they stung, he had also been prepared to have his apology not accepted or have it be too little too late. While he was working on a larger apology to give her, his therapist and support group members had all made it clear that sometimes things are too far gone, but that doesn't mean you don't apologize. Because the apology isn't to fix it or get what you want. You apologize because you did something wrong, period. "Yes it is. I recently learned that even if you can explain it that will never excuse shitty behavior." Now that he'd said that, he could focus on Morgan and his lack of confession. Maybe he'd already told Eva, but something told him he hadn't. I mean would he have bothered telling Puck if he hadn't said he talked to Serena? Probably not. "I am wondering what kind of explanation he gave you" He looked at Eva. "-for why he fucked Serena probably fifteen minutes after whatever conversation he had with you about me." Puck still wasn't willing to look at Morgan, and he was being messy and he shouldn't have said it, because Morgan should have told her but fuck him. All the shit he gave Puck for his shitty coping mechanisms, to turn around and reveal his whole fucking secret relationship with Serena, still made his blood boil.

BREE gasped in her seat next to Jake. "Morgan." She said with heavy disappointment in her voice. She hadn't seen that one coming.

EVA didn't know how he'd come to this conclusion, but she was sure that either his mom or someone with some sort of qualifications had gotten him there. He sure as hell hadn't figured that out on his own, and she would have been proud of him for it if she wasn't mad at him. But when he started to turn the focus on Morgan and mentioned an explanation from him, she was slightly confused since Morgan had told her he didn't know what his feelings for that little punk were. And she was still pissed at him too, but when Puck revealed the new information, she was almost positive that her blood had never boiled like it was now. She also hadn't known that the man could hurt her any worse than he already had, but boy was she fucking wrong. "You fucking asshole." She hissed as she finally turned to Morgan. "You looked me right in my face and gave me that whole speech about your stupid heart tying into knots when you're with us, how losing us — or me or him or whatever — would be the biggest mistake of your life, and how I was the fucking one just to go fuck her immediately after that?" Eva hissed as she glared at him, and she didn't even know how she was fighting back tears right now but she sure as hell wasn't about to let him see her cry ever again.

SANTANA was thankful that she had refilled her glass because all of these revelations were too much, even for her, and she hated that things were this bad. Gulping down the full contents of her glass, she was now annoyed because Eva was clearly too good for them. But it also took a bitch to know a bitch, and she could see right through Eva's tough exterior and knew she was on the verge of tears. As if there were ever a time to step in, it was now. "Jake, turn the camera off." She stated before she glanced between the two idiots. "If there were ever a time for you two to be actual men for once, it's now. She should walk out of here and never look back, so you might wanna say whatever you need to say before she does."

JAKE nodded and quickly turned the camera off, and even he was baffled at this now. And as much as he loved his brother, he couldn't exactly support him and Morgan repeatedly hurting someone who obviously didn't deserve it. "Just so we're clear, this is the last time I'll be involved in setting you three up. I thought I was bad but damn, you two don't even deserve her."

MORGAN looked between Eva and Puck, feeling his brows furrow as he listened to Eva come for Puck and his actions. Was it true? Yes. Did she have to tell him that harshly? Morgan's heart hurt, wanting to step in and cradle Puck's face into his chest, but he also wanted to kiss Eva's lips so hard, because the way she was taking control turned him on like crazy. Gulping, Morgan was about to step in, choosing to defend Puck, but then he was interrupted before he could even say a word, and the other man decided to completely throw him under the bus. Everything that he hadn't yet told Eva, because he was playing the balancing game of making her miss him, before confessing about his wrong-doing. His eyes looking between the two started panicking, and his ears started ringing, and Bree's disappointed 'Morgan' was fuzzy in his brain. But then Eva spoke up, and it was like his ears snapped back, her voice crystal clear and he gulped hard. It was like he had this little voice inside his head, constantly doubting whatever he was going to say next. "I can explain!" 'Can you?' "It's all a big misunderstanding!" 'Is it?' "I didn't mean any of it!" 'Didn't you?' "Can you guys just shut up for a second?!" He finally snapped, his voice loud, and it was mostly directed to the voices in his head, but he turned to Santana and Jake. Looking back at Puck and Eva, he took a step forward and ran a hand through his beard. "Listen. I had sex with Serena, after our lunch, Eva," he started, trying to calmly explain what had happened. "I didn't do it to hurt you, you have to believe that! I had invited her over, so that we could get things cleared up and so I could move on, and focus on the two of you. I don't know what happened, it's like everything became blurry after that, because I wasn't thinking. About anything. And I should've." He sighed and put his hands in his pockets. "I can't take it back now, but my mind's never been clearer. I meant what I said. I only want you two."

EVA honestly didn't need to hear shit else at this point, since Morgan crossing that line after their last conversation only solidified everything she'd said before. In fact, her mind her never been more made up than it was now. But when he raised his voice at them, both her and Santana made the exact same face, and she could tell the Latina was about to knock him upside his fucking head, just as she wanted to, but she waved her off dismissively. The last thing he needed was both of them about to throw hands, and she was sure that the odds had never been more in their favor. Just like the last time she'd seen him, there was more bullshit excuses coming her way, and she didn't hesitate to roll her eyes as he spoke. The audacity of him to come for Puck's excuse when he kept finding them for his actions too. Waiting until he was finished, she shook her head. "Right, so instead of doing like I told you to do and telling her what you told me, you fucked her? It didn't just happen because you weren't thinking, Morgan. You did it because you wanted to." That realization alone was enough to make her crack, but somehow, by some miracle, she held back her tears. For now. "Just like I said before, you both keep saying how you want this, how you're so sure of it now, but you both had to fuck someone else to be sure. I didn't. And honestly, all this proved was that even if we tried to do this, the second shit goes south or we have one fight, both of you are just gonna go stick your dicks in whatever hole gives you some attention. I deserve a lot better than that." Eva didn't really know what else she was even supposed to say now without repeating herself, so she stood back up and glanced between them. "I can't do this anymore, so I'm done. For good this time. You two can do whatever the fuck you want, but leave me out of it. I let both of you hurt me twice now, and I'll be damned if you do it ever again, so just stay away from me. Is that clear?"

MORGAN watched as Eva told him everything; everything that he'd done to fuck this up. She was coming for him, calling him out, and honestly, it was the truth. Morgan might've been dumb, but he could see exactly what she was saying, and it made sense to him. He had had sex with Serena because he'd wanted to, he had gone and stuck his dick in someone else, after a fight with Eva. And if anything, this just proved to him more that he needed to become a better man. That he needed to prove himself more. That this wasn't the end. If anything, it only made his desire for them stronger. "Eva..." he watched her stand up, wanting to say something, but not knowing what exactly. He needed his usual 3-4 business days to figure out what exactly he could do or say, in order to make any of this better.

PUCK could see the turmoil in Morgan, the realization that he was wrong, had been wrong but the fight to tell yourself you didn't mean it, that it wasn't you intention. That you weren't that guy because in your head you'd never treat someone you care about the way you're realizing you did. And Puck knew that's what was happening in his head because it's exactly what happened in his for weeks. listened while Eva spoke. Said everything Puck and Morgan deserved to hear. As everyone's voices filled his head, he felt a rage build up in him at Morgan, at himself too, but at Morgan more, but he was trying to decide if he had the right to say anything. Thankfully, Eva had plenty to say, to them both. All of it hurt but all of it true and when she said she couldn't do it anyone, he realized he had already accepted this outcome. Accepted that unless there was real change, provable change, in Morgan and Puck's coping mechanisms and behaviors, unless Eva had the time and the space to process and heal and rebuild herself, this was always going to end up here. For the first time, he finally understood why his mother told him as a child not to hold on so tight you squeeze the life out of what you're trying to hang on to. Nothing can grow in those conditions. While he had so much he needed to say to Eva he knew he couldn't say it now and even if he could she likely wouldn't hear it. So he simply turned to her and let his heart break as he looked at her, knowing the pain he caused. "I get it, and you're right, about all of it and imma stay away from you. I'll do everything I can to keep us from crossing paths again, not on campus, not anywhere." It hurt to say but it was the least he could do. Now, he needed to say something to Morgan and he wasn't all the way sure how. Getting up, he faced his- not his, cowboy, "She was my friend and you knew that. You could've picked anyone, but you picked my friend. Losing you and Eva is what I deserve, it's what I earned but Serena? I didn't earn that loss. And neither one of you cared enough about me to- to..." He trailed off, just staring at Morgan. Finally he looked away an at Santana, Bree and Jake. "Can I go?" He asked the three who set this up.

EVA honestly just needed to get out of here, get some air, and to move the fuck on from both of them. Morgan having nothing to say other than her name proved that he had nothing left to say right now, which made sense considering that he'd probably just run right back to Serena after this. And the Puck started talking and she didn't care what he had to say either. "Great, good to know you can commit to something." She muttered before she headed for the door, and Jake quickly jumped up and moved out of the way so she could leave.

SANTANA sighed as Eva left, and while the plan had gone off the rails, she had switched sides and was only rooting for Eva now. Well, she was rooting for Puck to get better and work through his shit, but romantically, she only cared about the woman in this throuple. Downing some more wine, she nodded at Puck's question. "Yeah, it's fine. I think you've said everything you needed to get off of your chest too, so no need to stay any longer." Not that he needed permission at this point anyways, but he had asked so she gave it to him.

JAKE wasn't for beating a dead horse so with Eva and now Puck being done, he was giving up on this throuple thing too. "Well, thank you both for coming anyways. And thank you for my birthday gifts. Sorry this didn't work out like we planned, but...good luck in whatever, or whoever, you do next, I guess?" He rambled, since he wasn't really sure what else to say. "I'll see you around, Morgan."

MORGAN's face resembled that of a kicked puppy, not knowing how to make any of this better. The way he'd not only ruined his relationship with Eva and Puck now, but he'd also come between Puck and Serena, knowing how the two were such good friends; at least that's what he figured based off of the fact that he'd caught him in her apartment that one time. But a part of him was screaming that this could be resolved. If he was stubborn enough; persistent enough. He loved them for crying out loud! He wasn't going to give up on them just yet. As he watched Eva leave, followed by Puck, Morgan sighed, and rubbed his temple in pure frustration. He had to think now, come up with something else, because he was pretty sure he'd cleaned out every single poppy and sunflower field in California in order to send them that crazy amount of flowers, so that wasn't an option until they'd grown back again. He had to think about his next move. What was the way to someone's heart? ... Eyes opening wide, Morgan looked at the three on-lookers and gave them an optimistic smile. "This was great, you guys, we should really do it again some other time, but I need to go, I have something- I have several things I gotta take care of." And with that, he ran out of the house, knowing exactly where to head next: his kitchen.

[saffron0v0]

Okay, so I decided to quit posting ^v^. I'm sorry, but I had some realisations and I decided this was for the best. I started privating my posts, I'll probably have almost everything private by tomorrow at most. I'm not going to delete tumblr, I'll just not post anymore.

Some things I have to mention.

1= Thank you @miss-breeownie you're an amazing friend! I appreciate you and I hope we can continue to be friends in the future!

2= Thank you @sweetblasphemyandlust you've been liking my posts and following with my updates the longest (after bree ofc)! I appreciate you very much!

3= @ghostbite0 I'm happy that you liked the fanart I drew for your fic, so if you didn't download it, here are the links here and here

If you want you can post it to the fic if anyone else wants to see the fanart again (you don't have to)

4= @pixelchaos00 I'm sorry, but I won't be able to make a part 2 of the shinazugawa siblings au, I really hope you can forgive me!

5= I will delete my wattpad fics, just thought I'd mention that.

TYSM FOR BEING WITH ME FOR THIS SHORT TIME SPAN! AU REVOIR MES AMIS!

UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN! I LOVE EVERYONE SMMMM!

Edit: not even 3 months later, I couldn't even last 3 months. Just goes to show that I can't last without sharing my opinions and art lol. Well, it was a nice break, we're back in business!!

[renee-writer]

Finally caught up with the first three episodes. These were my thoughts while watching.

Now I know why Christie made people cry. Loved Roger quoting Muhammad Ali! Laughed aloud. She can rest knowing her husband is there, hopefully without guilt.

“I am also a violent man.” Be afraid Mr. Brown. Be very afraid.

 

The Christies are truly messed up. I feel both revulsion and sorry for them. Glad Ian killed him. He is out of his misery now.

Mandy is gorgeous! Sweet Jamie and Mandy time. Nice birth announcement. And granny time. Until, what a heartbreaking scene. Even knowing it was coming.

Love the faith they have in her and she has in Joe.

Jamie’s faith❤️

Big brother Jemmy 💗

Siblings ❣️ Bree and William

Jamie’s look 😁

Exactly Bree. A child can love many parental figures.

Jamie and John😩😩😩

Bree and Jamie! A giant rat! Lol

You are magical to me. They are bloody killing me.

 

Goodbyes, oh God! The baby looks kinda like Sophie, good casting.

Her grief is so raw😩

Wingdego!  Bloody idiot.

 

Smart way to communicate.

Hate to see it burn.😰

Ian isn’t stupid. He knows exactly who William is.

Love Lizzy💗

Poor Ian. Why was she dressed like her husband? Dang it😰

Cait can sing.

Arch is creepy 🤢

Home to Lallybroch!

Jamie the prophet 💗

They should have brought the children with them, to Lallybroch

Adso!!

Okay, crying again😩

[thewanderingace]

Olay I finally watched Outlander 7x07 and oh my God it was so good!!!! This whole season has been so good!

MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR BOTH 7X07 AS WELL AS FUTURE PLOTLINES CAUSE I REFERENCE BOOKS PLOTS THAT THE SHOW HASN'T DONE YET!

I think it's kinda funny but the same thing is happening to me with the show as it did with the books in which I am much more into Bree and Roger's story than I am Jamie and Claire. Not that I don't love them cause I do and I do very much enjoy their plots but it's not exactly new. Another war, another goodbye, more lovely lovely yeah seen that already. But Bree and Roger's plots are so interesting and I still find myself so intrigued by their show story line as much as I was by the book plot.

I'm thrilled to finally see more positivity around Roger this season. Any time I go on Twitter or Instagram, even Facebook, I'm finally seeing people be kind to Roger. And I am LOVING IT! Finally! I've been so alone in the loving Roger corner of Outlander. If be so happy if this season finally brought some others over.

But okay so this episode. I'm just gonna spe some random thoughts

More Roger in a kilt! Woohoo!!! So handsome. I love it.

It drives me crazy that the show opted to not include Roger's struggle with his voice or even a scar on his throat since it plagues him forever. But I guess I get it cause this way Richard doesnt have to be hoarse forever and I got to hear him sing again so....I guess I can't be too mad lol.

The new actor for Buck is so good. I really enjoyed every scene he was in and how Roger and Bree and the kids all reacted to him showing up. I love that they had a conversation about Buck and Roger being family. I looove that Roger got to punch the crap out of him for both scaring his kids but also for TRYING TO KILL HIM!! I wish Roger's ptsd was shown a little more though. Lile, the hanging severely affected him and the show continues to gloss over it. Like, one conversation and Roger's forgiven him and calling him cousin Buck? Come on. Stupid episode constraints.

Every time Rob was on screen I got so angry lol. Just knowing what he's up to and what he is gonna do. Argh I hate him. When he started to talking to Jem I internally screamed "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM!" This meme was all I could think of to properly express myself.

Anyway fuck Rob Cameron.

Just a little thing but all the family moments with Bree, Roger, Jem and Mandy were perfect and I love them so much. So much.

The Bree Roger steamy scene!!! What!! Okay at first I laughed cause of the song choice but I love that song unironically and I love Bree and Roger so I ended up thinking that scene was super nice.

Bree and Roger belong in the 1980s. They belong in modern times and I fucking hate that they go back to the 18th century and stay there. I hate it. I mean I love Roger going back to find Jemmy and the angst of the whole ending of the episode was so raw and good and I loved it. But it reminded me that they all go back and eeeeennhggh I hate it. So much. I want Bree to be with her parents again but she and Roger don't belong in that time. Not like Claire does. They both are much more suited for the 1980s and are amd can be so much happier then. Roger and teach and be a historian and take care of the house. Bree cam be a boss and an engineer. They have cars and electricity and modern medicine and ARGJ they just belong in that time!

Okay let me talk about Claire, Jaime and William bow cause I also have thoughts. Mostly about William. I got a lot of William thoughts because Charles Vandervaart KILLED IT!

Omg casting Charles was such a good choice! I know Charles from Murdoch Mysteries where he played John Brackenreid and I always loved when he was in an episode. I didn't even know he got cast as William until like a week before the premiere amd I saw an image of him comparing him to a pic of Jamie. First of all, holy shot they look so alike it's scary. Secondly he is such a good actor! I couldnt wait to see how he'd play William!

And in this episode he really shined! From the eager to prove himself young inexperienced officer to the first time he truly sees the horrors of the battlefield. I love how the show continues to give William opportunities to show the audience how kind hearted and honorable he is. Like giving his friend and his horse the apple. Helping the soldiers to dig the mass grave, literally getting into the trenches himself, so that his fellow soldiers, including his friend, will have a proper burial. I love it.

[jamessilveirablog]

Week 7 Blog: The Key to Keywords

Hi blog! Welcome back! I went back home this week so I did all of my PRINT hours on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, and it was one of my favorite weeks at PRINT! On Tuesday, we had the usual team meeting from 2 PM-4 PM, and then I stayed until almost 7 PM to clean up Endnote. Kailey, Adaeze, and Bree were also there, and it was a fun time working on PRINT with a group of people who could support me while doing so. I went over my keywords with Kailey last week, and it solidified my thought that I had not fully grasped how to correctly choose keywords. There are quite a lot of keywords, so sometimes you miss some or reach too far to add unnecessary ones. This Tuesday, I went over my keywords with Kailey again and I definitely improved this time around, which made me feel more confident about it now. Some might say I might have found... the key... to keywords... (I will definitely go over them again with Kailey next week.)

On Wednesday, I had my midterm evaluation with Dr. Beiler and it made me feel very good about myself and my progression at PRINT so far. There is room for improvement, but that comes with time, and it is so satisfying to look back and see how much I have improved each week so far. Dr. Beiler also offered me a job to continue at PRINT this summer, and of course, I said yes! I love this project and I am so grateful that I get to continue it for the foreseeable future. After the midterm evaluation, I worked on Endnote for an hour, went to class, and then went back to working on Endnote for another 2 hours. I have reached a batch of letters in Endnote that have multiple versions in one document. Some letters have translations, other letters have extra notes and letters added to them. I have never done letters like these alone but I tried cleaning them up on Wednesday anyway, and I think I did a decent job. I will go over them with Kailey next week to make sure everything is correct.

Finally, on Thursday, I attended Transcription Thursday and the letter was a fun, simple one. It was a nice, cute ending to my week. Thank you for reading! Here is a letter that made me giggle because William Frederick Schelling took up 10 lines to introduce himself using an exaggerated amount of titles:

[iviarelleblr]

So, my tl;dr on this is "they're still making changes but it is all in the name of telling the story as it needs to be told, highly recommend picking it back up."

The longer version... well, I hope you don't mind if I have a bit of a ramble about the longer version. There are reasons season 1 looked worse and even more reasons why they made the changes they did. I highly recommend listening to the Wheel Takes podcast's coverage of season 1 in particular, to get a screenwriter's inside point of view on likely reasons why these decisions were made. But, the tl;dr of this part is, they're writing the series as much for existing fans as they are for the random mom who liked Gone Girl and sees Rosamund Pike on the poster, and also COVID fucked everything.

First off, the show is adapting from the whole, completed series. Robert Jordan started the series assuming it would be a trilogy, then quickly being taken to task but continuing under the assumption he'd only be writing about 6 books before the ending. Even once it became clear that 6 wouldn't be the end, he always thought he was only 1-3 books away from the end. He also changed his mind, a lot. We know this from things people have said after viewing his notes. And sometimes, when he changed his mind, he needed to add something he hadn't thought of before to make the story going forward better.

So, there were a lot of things stated and set up in the books that never had a payoff. What's the show supposed to do with that? Either you give it a purpose in the story, or you cut it, to make room to set up a lot of payoffs that didn't have enough establishing in the first place.

Second, one of the biggest early changes from book to screen was giving Perrin a wife only to fridge her in the first episode. It sucks! Nobody is ever at all saying that it feels good to do that. But they did need to give Perrin an external, reason for viewers to relate to him and understand what he's going through, over his book journey of the internal struggle at his violent tendencies. It wouldn't have worked as well if it had been his mentor or another family member, because "wife" is shorthand to the wider audiences, and thus a shortcut to a visceral understanding of, oh, he's afraid to give in because he could do that again to someone else, after going through such a terrible loss in the first place.

Third, several things happened at the end of season 1, including Barney Harris as Mat Cauthon leaving the production during the COVID stoppage (for reasons we still don't know and that aren't our business to know or speculate on) causing a hole in the plot written for him in the final two episodes, and losing all the stunt performers and some of the major locations for the final episode. The Blight was supposed to be filmed in a real place, I think in the Canary Islands but possibly somewhere else. Instead, they had a couple of months to build a set that would come anywhere near the level of immersion for the work to be done. Nearly all the Tarwin's Gap stuff had to be done with CG instead of live, and at least one pivotal scene at the end of episode 8 had to be rewritten to accommodate COVID filming guidelines for performers in close contact. This also put a strain on the budget, because of such heavy reliance on special effects and a whole new set for those last couple of episodes after having completed the first 6 during lockdowns.

I'm not saying anyone has to forgive season 1 its faults. The faults are legion and nobody can go back and change them now. But I do recommend taking season 1 on its own terms, looking at what it's doing with regard to setup, nods to readers, and what a show-only would need to know going forward vs the bits that would be nice to book readers but ultimately don't further the greater story. (Again, the Wheel Takes episodes are incredible insights into this. See also: LezbiNerdy's series on the costumes with Bree and Pez. Pez guessed book 14 events from 1x01 costumes, I'm not kidding I was there in the Discord server in realtime. That level of devotion to the books and the story is there from the very first, and I think a lot of people who are angry at the show for its changes could stand to step back and watch those breakdowns and see how much love there is for the story we all know and love across the whole production.)

I will say, season 2 steps it up in the biggest way. They got an increased budget, and they got into the real meaty heart of The Great Hunt. They've mostly skipped The Dragon Reborn, leaving its plot elements for later, but season 2 hits the ground running and never ever stops being amazing. Season 3 is going right into The Shadow Rising, widely regarded as the favourite and/or best book of the series, and the trailers promise so much fun and MILF violence even past what was in the 3x01 cold open sneak peek I shared in my original post. That's not even the event you might be thinking of from TSR, that's Liandrin's escape with the thirteen BA, though it sets the stage for the other thing even more effectively than the books did if you look just a few inches past the surface level.

So, if you have any inclination, I absolutely and with my whole heart recommend going back to the show with an open mind if you can. Even I felt a little let down by 1x08, but it's grown on me in the years since, and everything that's come since has so much more than made up for it. If you still hate it, you've lost little except a few hours of your time. But if you can find love for it, you get a whole new turning of the Wheel to have fun with and theorize about, and I love that for all of us who can get there.

The first 11 minutes of 3x01 are now available to watch on YouTube and I'm sure we are all being completely normal about it!