#nicholas ruffilo reader insert

[lilgarbitch]

Touch, Torture, and Tattoos- Nicholas Ruffilo (One shot)

Pairing: Nicholas Ruffilo x Reader

CW: tattoos/ description of getting one, bit of shitty plot, lots of dirty filthy evil smut 🤭, SassySubby!Nick (more like bratty switch), unprotected p in v(naughty lil fuckers), creampie, cockwarming???, my shitty writing 🫶🏻

Word Count: 10.8k👀

Author’s Note: Just a quick lil thing. Don’t ask what came over me to make this. Just know that I’m not to blame😇 (i wrote the smut before the plot so the opening is ass ngl)

Viewer discretion is advised. 18+

You sat in the slightly uncomfortable metal chair of the tattoo shop, trying to entertain yourself on your phone. Nick was quiet as he focused on the leg of the client in front of him, not wanting to make any mistakes, so you made sure you did your best not to distract him. 

The boys had time this week to relax and do what they wanted, for once not having to be in the studio or travel for an interview, so you happily accepted their invitation to spend time with them since you haven’t had the chance to see them in a while. 

The group and you mainly hung out at their house, either watching movies, swimming, making a mess in the kitchen, or chatting about how life used to be before they got big. It was nice that they finally had time to just relax and have fun in the mix of their busy schedules. And you were definitely happy that you were finally able to see Nick again. You had a crush on him for as long as you could remember, instantly being attracted to his humor and his gorgeous looks, but pushed the feelings away once they started getting busier, knowing that there wasn’t even time for a relationship, even if he felt the same. But that didn’t stop the feelings from slowly resurfacing and becoming more than just a crush every time you had the opportunity to spend time with him.

Every time all of you hung out, your attention always seemed to fall on him more than the rest. Even when watching a movie, your eyes always trailed towards him. You never made it obvious, though. You did your best to treat them all the same, treating them like brothers. The last thing you needed was to make it awkward, or even worse, create so much tension you couldn’t see them anymore. But the tension that had been building inside of you was becoming torture.

Nick had known of this break for a while now. Itching to get back into tattooing, he asked a friend of his if he could use his studio for a day, then asked around if anyone was looking to get a piece done. He had two offers, and you happily told him that you were willing to get another. Not that you weren’t always down to get a new tattoo, but you mainly offered so you could spend more time with him. You loved spending time with the boys, and absolutely enjoyed hanging out with all of them, but when a rare chance came to get alone time with Nick, you just had to take it. 

You two had been here since early this morning. He told you that you didn’t have to come in until later in the day, but almost seemed sad to say, like he regretted spending most of his free day away from you. But with the offer of being the errand runner and grabbing us lunch, he happily obliged. Not that he needed any convincing, but he had to pretend like he felt bad making you spend half the day doing nothing but sitting in the shop with him. 

Your attention gets pulled from your phone as his client stood up and walked to the mirror to check out their new tattoo. Nick chatted with them for a few minutes, getting payment set up and wishing them a good day as they left, pleased with the new piece of art on their body. 

He walked over and sat down in the chair by you, stretching his back after being hunched over for an hour. 

“I love doing this, but god, does my body hate it,” he mumbled as he stretched his arms over his head. A small sliver of skin caught your eyes as his shirt raised with him, but you quickly blinked away any inappropriate thoughts and looked back up at him just in time for him to settle and glance at you. 

“So, you ready?” he asked, clapping his hands together with a smile on his face. You couldn’t help but match his smile. 

“Always,” you said as you stood up from your chair. 

He stood and walked over to where he had your piece already drawn out and prepared on a stencil. You two had been shooting ideas back and forth for the last few days, and eventually landed getting a skeleton hand. One of the few remaining spots you had open on your skin was on your rib, right below your breast, so you decided that getting the hand to fit the curvature of your body would look pretty cool.

He grabbed the stencil and walked over to you, so you lifted your shirt, holding it right below your bra. He eyed the space of blank skin, then held the stencil up to it. After a few moments of him lining it up perfectly, he finally placed it. You both walked over to the mirror so you could check the placement. After turning your body a few times, making sure you liked where it was, you told him it was perfect. 

You walked over to the bed and laid down, tucking your shirt under your slightly lifted bra, and angling your body in a way where the stencil could be easily worked on. He set up his table with everything he needed and then got himself sat and pulled up next to you, ready to start. 

“All good to go?” he asked, making sure you were officially ready to start, and you nodded. 

You did your best to relax, but tattoos in this area were hard not to focus on. So you mentally prepared yourself as he reached out and held your side and brought the needle to your skin. But the sensation of his touch completely overpowered the pain of the needle.

All you could focus on as he began working was the way his gloved hand held and pulled at your skin. You didn’t know if you were glad that you didn’t have to focus on the needles, or if this feeling was much worse. He was touching such a sensitive area, and you had to try your hardest not to blush or react in any way. 

His finger grazed against your skin, causing you to shiver. He stopped and looked up at you with a concerned look. 

“You okay?” he asked, assuming that was because he just went right over bone. Knowing you’d just stammer your words, you nodded.

But your eyes locked onto his as he looked up at you, and your mind went blank. The look of concern mixed with something you could distinguish in his pretty blue eyes fueled a fire inside you that you needed to extinguish as fast as possible. You blinked and turned your head away, trying to get that look out of your mind. He finally went back to working on your tattoo, and you forced yourself to focus on the pain, needing it as a distraction. 

After about an hour of grueling torture, him constantly being so sweet, and you forcing yourself to keep your mind off him and on the needles repeatedly hitting your skin, he finally finished. 

“Let me just wipe one more time and then you can go check it out,” he said as he scooted his chair back and grabbed the green soap. 

“Okay,” you said, sighing a breath of relief. It wasn’t over just yet, but you finally had a break from the torture. 

He came back over, gave you one last wipe, and then moved back, giving you room to stand so you could check it out. 

You walked over to the mirror and eyed your new piece, a smile forming on your face. It was really good. Not that you hadn’t expected it to be, but it was thankfully worth being so close to him for an hour straight. 

“I love it,” you said with a smile, turning to him. His eyes snapped up from your body and to your face, almost as if he had been caught staring, and he mirrored your smile. 

“I’m glad. Now let me wrap that and I can close up shop,” he said as he quickly turned to grab Saniderm. 

His mind raced as he went to wrap your new tattoo, needing to be quick so you could finally put your shirt down. The last hour had been absolute agony, being so close to such an intimate part of you. He had to use every fiber in his body to keep his focus on your tattoo and not let his eyes glance up at your slightly exposed under-boob. 

You were sitting on Nick’s bed, back pressed against the wall, scrolling on your phone as he worked on his laptop, occasionally typing away as he answered his emails. He said he had to get a few done, and offered to let you hang out in his room with him until the rest of the guys got back from doing who knows what.

You did your best to entertain yourself as he worked, but you mind kept trailing back to how close you two were earlier. How you could almost feel his breath on your skin as he worked on your new tattoo. The way he kept glancing up at you, checking to make sure you felt okay. You couldn’t get that look out of your mind. His pretty eyes just looking up into yours, holding more emotion that he let on. You had been so worked up since the tattoo started, and it wasn’t going away. 

At this point, you had stopped scrolling and were just staring off into space as your mind wandered, imagining the emotions you could get his eyes to portray. Every thought that you had pushed away was now flooding your mind since he wasn’t focused on you, and being alone in his room with him did absolutely no help. 

You finally come back to reality, only to notice him glancing at you in your peripheral. You glance over, but once he realized he had been caught, he quickly focused back onto the screen in front of him, causing a smirk to form on your lips. Was he actually losing focus because of you?

“Getting distracted, Ruffilo?” you teased, causing him to tense slightly at being caught. Your mind was glazed over with how turned on you were, and you couldn’t stop yourself anymore. You just wanted to mess with him. 

He cleared his throat, not taking his eyes off the laptop, and did his best to act nonchalant as he responded, “Huh? Oh. No, just thinking.” 

“Good. You wouldn’t want to miss any important details,” you teased with a smirk still on your lips. He let out a small huff and playfully rolled his eyes as he looked at you. 

“I would never. I’m a professional,” he said, making you bite back a giggle. He was so cute when he tried to play things off.

“Oh, I know,” you responded with an amused smile. He raised an eyebrow at your smile. He did his best to keep a cool demeanor, but couldn’t help but feel a little flustered at your expression. 

“Then why are you teasing me?” he asked, pretending to be annoyed. You gave him a playful scoff. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, feigning offense, making him chuckle. He turned in his chair and looked at you, crossing his arms. 

“Oh sure you don’t. You’re just the picture of innocence,” he said sarcastically, causing you to giggle. 

“Yeah. That’s one way to put it,” you replied, a smirk tugging on your lips. He couldn’t help but smile at your giggle, it causing a strange warmth in his chest. But your smirk was causing a much more intense reaction in him that he had to hide.

“But you’re awfully sassy for someone who tries to be so innocent,’ he teased, his tone turning playful, with a hint of flirting. He was enjoying this playful banter between you two. 

“Sassy?” you said, trying to hide the amusement in your voice as you raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah. You’ve got quite an attitude on you.” He teased, chuckling at your act. You crossed your arms and tried thinking of the best comeback, but none were coming to you. 

“Well you’re easily distracted.” you finally said, giving him a playful grin. He raised an eyebrow at your comment. He tried to play it off, but there was a pang of embarrassment in his chest.

“Easily distracted? Me? I’m never distracted.” he protested, trying to sound confident.

“Oh yeah? Then how far along are you on those emails?” you teasingly asked, pointing to the laptop sitting on his desk. His eyes glanced over to the laptop, one that showed a half written email, and mentally cursed at himself. He had gotten distracted thinking of you, and then let you distract him even more with the playful bickering.

“I’m…uh…almost done,” he lied, trying to salvage what dignity he had left.

“Oh yeah?” you asked, a laugh escaping your lips. He tried to keep a cool demeanor, but he was getting more flustered as you teased him.

“Yes. I’m serious. I’m almost done,” he repeated, trying to sound more confident this time as he turned back to his laptop. 

“Good, because I’d feel bad if I was the reason you couldn’t get any work done,’ you said, amused. He could feel his face getting more flushed. He tried to come up with a witty comeback, but all he got out was a flustered stammer. 

“Y-you’re not the reason..I just..got distracted, that’s all,” he managed to get out, making you smirk as he finally admitted to being distracted.

“Then what’s got you so distracted?” you playfully asked, causing him to tense up. He didn’t want to admit it, so he tried coming up with the most convincing answer. 

“I don't know..I guess I’m just tired from having to focus on tattooing all day.” he lied, now pretending to be more focused on this half written email on his screen. 

You nodded with a grin on your face, not actually believing him, just having a lot of fun messing with him. He knew you didn’t believe him, but he was just thankful you stopped pushing the issue. He let out a sigh as he started typing again, doing his best to focus on the words, but he couldn’t stop letting his mind travel to you. His eyes involuntarily trailed back to you, causing you to smirk. 

“Do I need to leave?” you teasingly asked, calling attention back to how easily distracted he was. His eyes widened slightly as he realized he had once again been caught staring, so he turned back to the screen, hiding his blushing face. 

“N-no, you’re fine. I’m just..lost in thought,” he said, trying to play off that he was just straight ogling you. You giggled and crawled across the bed, moving closer to him. 

“Whatcha thinkin about?” you asked, in a slightly annoying childish voice, wanting to tease him more. He swallowed hard as he heard you move closer to him. He tried his best to keep his composure.

“N-nothing important,” he lied. His eyes flickered over to you against his will, gauging how close you now were. 

“Well, it’s obviously important enough that it keeps distracting you,” you said, feigning a sweet tone. He let out a soft huff, getting frustrated at how easily you were getting to him. He shifted in his chair, trying to maintain some semblance of control in this situation. 

“It’s not important enough to share, trust me,” he said, his voice slightly strained. He tried keeping his gaze back on his screen as he felt the tension in the room grow thicker by the second, but his eyes trailed to you once more, curious as to why you were so quiet. Once his eyes landed on you, he saw that you were giving him a childish pout. He sighed, knowing that you always did that when you didn’t get your way, but he had to resist telling you the truth. 

“Don’t give me that look,” he said, trying to sound stern, but you giggled when you noticed the amusement in his voice. He let out a defeated sigh and leaned back in his chair as his resolve crumbled away at the sound of your laugh. 

“Fine. You wanna know what I was thinking about? It was you. I was thinking about you, alright?” He said, slightly embarrassed but also annoyed that you actually managed to pull it out of him. 

You raised your eyebrows in shock, not expecting him to be so blunt and say it already. It wasn’t like you didn’t already know, but you were surprised he just came out and told you straight. 

“Oh, you were thinking about me?” you asked, once again bringing back your playful tone. His cheeks flushed more as he realized how bad of an idea it was to admit it. He didn’t want to, but you broke him down so easily. 

“Yes, I was thinking about you,” he repeated, his voice low and gravelly. He kept his gaze on you, gaging your reaction, “You’re driving me crazy, you know that?”

“And what about me were you thinking about?” you asked playfully with a smug smile. This caused him to groan. You had been playing at his frustration and desire all day, and now that he was forced to think about you, he was struggling to keep those thoughts under control. 

“Everything about you. Your smile, your voice, your eyes…everything,” he said, his voice growing huskier. He shifted in his chair again, trying to alleviate the tension in his body. Your eyebrows raised slightly as an amused smile played on your lips. 

“Everything?” you asked, your tone teasing, yet slightly seductive, causing his eyes to darken. He could feel the tension in the room reach its boiling point, and he had to refrain from losing control.

“Yes. Everything,” he repeated, his voice getting closer to a growl as you kept pushing his buttons. He gave himself permission to rake his eyes over your body now that he knew he had nothing to hide, “I can’t get you out of my head, no matter how hard I try.”

“Did this start before or after the tattoo?” you ask, seemingly unaffected by his tone or actions. 

“Before. Long before,” he answered, his voice dripping with desire as he watched you with hungry eyes. He had developed an attraction to you a while ago, but being so close to you as he tattooed you just made it worse. 

“And how did you feel when I told you where the tattoo was gonna be?” you asked. You were enjoying this way too much. Just watching him lose it right in front of you. 

“I was…conflicted. On one hand, I was excited to finally get so close to you, but on the other, I knew it was going to be absolute torture.” he answered. You feigned offense at his playful choice of words. 

“Torture? You saw being so close to me as torture?” you teasingly asked. He couldn’t help but chuckle at your reaction. You had a mischievous glint in your eyes and he knew that you were enjoying this a little too much. 

“Don’t give me that look. You know exactly what I mean,” he said, his tone getting more seductive, “Being so close to you, yet not being able to give in and.. touch you…it drove me insane.” 

“Well looks like you’re gonna have to stay insane,” you teased, shrugging. He was just giving you more and more opportunities to mess with him, so now you were going to keep riling him up and just not give him what he wanted. His eyes darkened more at your words, his smirk fading into more of a frustrated expression. 

“Don’t tease me like that…You have no idea how badly I’ve been wanting to touch you,” he said, his voice dropping to a low husky whisper as he leaned forward. You just gave him a smug smile as you relaxed back, supporting yourself on your hands as you met his gaze with a mischievous look. 

“And that’s why I’m not gonna let you,” you said bluntly. His eyes widened at your serious tone, his face turning into a mixture of desire and determination.

“You’re playing a dangerous game, tempting me like that just to deny me. It’s cruel.” You just shrugged, amused with how easy it was to egg him on. 

“You can’t do anything about it. I won’t let you, so you’re just gonna have to suffer from a distance,” you said nonchalantly with a smirk playing on your lips. He took a deep breath and glared at you. 

“You make it so hard for me to be a gentleman,” he mumbled through gritted teeth, his eyes raking over your body hungrily, “You’re so damn tempting, sitting there all smug and teasing me like that,” 

You let your eyes slowly trail over this figure, seeing how tense and worked up he was, before landing back on his eyes with a mischievous smirk on your lips. He’s making it so easy to get him riled up, and it just makes you more excited to finally break him. You knew this was all an act. He wanted you to think that you had no control over him, but in reality, he was wrapped around your finger. 

“Hey, I said you couldn’t touch me. But if you’re nice, maybe I’ll touch you,” you said in a stern yet seductive voice, getting quieter towards the end. His breath hitched as you spoke and his body tensed at the thought of you touching him. He looked at you with a mix of desire and desperation in his eyes, slowly breaking. 

“You’re killing me here. How can you say something like that and expect me to behave myself?” he said, his voice straining as he struggled to maintain his composure. You so badly wanted to make a face, finally cracking down on his faux dominance, but you knew exactly what you could do to get him to finally break. You gave him a teasing pitiful pout.

“Because you wanna be a good boy for me, don’t you?” you asked in a soft teasing yet seductive tone. His eyes widened as the words left your mouth. He swallowed hard, doing his best to keep his composure, but his mind and body had already given in. It took a few moments for him to respond, but he gave in.

“Y-yes…I wanna be a good boy for you..” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. A proud smile formed on your lips, happy that you finally got to him. 

You scooted back on the bed, creating a space for him, before patting the spot next to you. He hesitated for a moment, his eyes darting between your face and the spot on the bed. He was torn between his desire to give in to your every whim, and his pride, but ultimately, the desire won and he slowly stood up and walked to the bed. 

He sat stiffly, trying to maintain some semblance of control over himself, but his body was tense with anticipation. He looked at you with a mixture of nervousness and excitement in his eyes, waiting for your next move. Taking that as a sign to continue, you softly pushed against his shoulders until he was now lying down in front of you. He didn’t resist, but just tensed at your touch. He watched you intensely, his heart racing in his chest as he waited to see what you would do next. He felt vulnerable in this position, completely at someone’s mercy for the first time, but there was a sense of trust and excitement in his eyes. 

Enjoying the adorable man completely giving himself to you, you gave him a warm smile as you softly started tracing your fingers against his stomach, trailing them over his hips and down his legs, giving him a glimpse of the new dynamic. His breath hitched at your touch, his skin felt extra sensitive as he was not used to being so vulnerable, but also loving it.

“Now remember, no touching,” you said softly yet sternly as you looked into his eyes.  

“I..I won’t touch you…I promise,” he said, his trembling voice barely above a whisper. His body felt like it was shaking with desire, but he was determined to be good for you. 

You gave him a soft smile and a quiet, ‘Good boy,’ as you continued teasing your fingers across his body. He just watched and took in the feeling as you started trailing your fingers down to the hem of his shirt. You hooked your fingers under and pulled up until there was just a delicious thin strip of bare skin between his waistband and shirt, and softly traced your fingers over it, watching his reaction as you teased him. 

Nick’s eyes fluttered shut and a soft gasp caught in his throat as he felt your fingers brush against his bare skin. He could feel his body responding to your touch, his skin tingling with every gentle graze of your fingers. He was completely under our spell and he knew it. He let out a shaky breath and opened his eyes to look up at you, his gaze filled with desire and submission. 

You bit back a smirk as you caught his gaze. You knew that he was falling deeper and deeper under your control and you loved it. You looked back down to where your fingers traced against his skin and slowly moved them up, bringing the shirt with them. He watched as you slowly lifted his shirt, exposing more and more of his skin to your touch. He could feel the heat rising in his body, and his breathing grew heavier with each passing second. 

You were going to tease him for as long as he let you, so once the shirt lifted to right above his navel, you leaned down and started softly littering kisses on his bare skin. His breath hitched as he felt your lips touch his skin. The sensation flooding his mind, and a low groan rumbled in his chest. His eyes closed as his body overreacted to your touch. 

“That feels so good…” he managed to whisper out, his voice thick with desire. He wanted to touch you so badly, to get you to speed up, but he knew he had to resist. He was determined to let you take the lead, even if it killed him. 

You looked up at him with a playful gaze as you started trailing kisses higher and higher, lifting the shirt with you. You just wanted to see how long it was going to take him to start begging for more. As he felt your lips trail up and his shirt rise, he opened his eyes and looked down, meeting yours. He had a look of desperation and admiration, and you could tell this was slowly driving him insane. 

“Please…don’t stop,” he begged, his voice ragged. He was struggling to keep his composure as his body tensed and trembled with desire. He was completely under your spell, willing to do anything to keep feeling your touch. 

Once his stomach and chest were on full display, you continued to litter his skin with soft kisses, occasionally licking and nipping at sensitive spots. This caused him to lose himself in a haze of pleasure, his body responding to your every touch. He let out a string of low moans and soft gasps and his back arched, pressing himself against your lips more.

“F-fuck…you’re driving me crazy,” he managed to gasp out, his voice laced with need and desire. 

You were enjoying the sight of him falling apart under your touch, so you slowly started upping your game. Trailing kisses back down his chest and stomach, you slid your hand onto his thigh, softly rubbing it, moving your hand up and down, and occasionally rubbing his inner thigh. He let out a soft gasp as his body started responding to your touch, his muscles tensing and his breath picking up. Enjoying his reactions, you started moving your hand higher, getting a little too close to his growing bulge. He let out a strangled moan as his hips involuntarily bucked slightly in response. 

“Please…please don’t tease me like that,” he pleaded, his voice almost a whine and filled with desperation. He was growing more and more frustrated and desperate with each passing moment, his body aching for your touch. 

“Be a good boy for me, baby,” you said softly, with a slightly demanding tone. As much as you enjoyed his begging, you’d never give in. You were going to make a mess of him. 

Nick shuttered at your words, his body responding instinctively to your command. He wanted to be good for you, to obey your every whim. He clenched his fists tightly, trying to regain control over himself. 

“I-I’m trying…I’m trying to be good,” he gasped out, his voice strained. He could feel the tension building inside of him, the need for more growing stronger by the second. 

Humming appreciatively, your kisses started getting lower, now running along his waistband, and your hand moved higher, now brushing against his bulge. He let out a shaky airy moan, jolts of pleasure shooting through his body every time he felt you moved your hand. 

“Oh god… you’re killing me,” he whimpered. His body trembled in anticipation, him wanting nothing more than for you to touch him, to give him the release he so desperately needed. 

A small giggle erupted from your throat, the vibrations traveling to his sensitive skin. You lifted your head and just watched him as you started softly palming him through his jeans. A strangled moan left his lips as he felt the heat and pressure of your hand against him. Every time you rubbed your hand against him, he let out a small gasp, his body tensing in response.

“Please, baby…more…I need it so badly,” he begged, a desperate, pathetic whimper. 

“Beg all you want, my love, you’re gonna get what I give you,” you said with a slightly stern tone. He whimpered again at your tone, his body submitting to your will. He knew there was no use in begging, but he couldn’t help himself. The need for your touch was overwhelming, and he would do anything to feel your hands on him. 

“I’ll be good…I’ll do whatever you want,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. He looked at you with pleading eyes, silently begging you to take pity on him. 

His eyes just made you want to tease him more. This was becoming too fun for you. To have so much control over him that he could look up at you with those pretty eyes, begging you to help him. It was like a drug, and you just wanted more. 

Keeping your eyes on his, you leaned back down and pressed your lips on the waistband of his pants, and slowly kissed closer and closer to his aching bulge. He watched with a bated breath as your lips moved closer. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his body tense with anticipation. He desperately wanted you to touch him, to give him the release he craved so badly. He let out a shaky moan once you were so close yet so far from where he needed you the most. 

You gave him one final look, before placing a sloppy open mouth kiss against the height of his bulge. He let out a loud moan the second your lips finally made contact with it. The feeling of your warm mouth through the fabric was almost too much to bear, and he couldn’t stop himself as he bucked his hips up against you. 

“Oh god..yes…please..” he gasped out, his voice laced with need and desperation. He was completely at your mercy now, unable to control the way his body responded to you. 

Pleased with his reaction, you decided to step it up a notch and softly sink your teeth into it. Not enough to hurt him, but just enough for him to really feel you through the fabric. He let out a strangled cry. The sensation was both shocking and pleasurable, sending a jolt of electricity through his body. His body shuttered as his hips bucked, desperately trying to get more friction.

“F-fuck…do that again…please..” he gasped. He was completely lost in the moment, completely lost in your touch. 

Even though you said you wouldn’t give in to his commands, you enjoyed the reaction too much. You softly pressed your teeth into him again, this time running your tongue along the fabric between them. He let out a loud moan as you did it again, the sensation of your tongue sending shivers down his spine. He was practically writhing beneath you now, his body wracked with pleasure. 

“God…I can’t take it anymore…please..let me cum..I need to come so badly,” he pleaded, his voice hoarse and desperate. The feeling was too much and he was ready to explode at any moment. You lifted your head and looked at him, giving him a pathetic pitiful look.

“I haven’t even touched you yet, and you’re already about to cum?” you asked condescendingly. He let out a strangled whimper at your words, his face flushing with embarrassment. He knew it was pathetic, but he couldn’t help it. He was so pent up, so desperate for release.

“I-I know…I’m sorry..I just can’t help it,” He said, his voice trembling. He looked up at you with pleading eyes, silently begging for mercy, “Please…just touch me…I need to feel your hands on me..”

You raised an eyebrow as you brought your hand back to his bulge, softly palming him again, giving him a small sliver of what he was begging for.

“And why should I do that?” you asked. He let out a shaky breath as he felt your hand on him again. His hips arched up against your hand, desperate for more friction. 

“Because…because I’ve been good for you. I’ve been doing everything you asked..please..just give me a reward..” He begged. He was practically panting now, his body trembling with desire. 

“Oh, you want a reward? After all the begging and commands for more, you think you deserve a reward” you asked, your tone condescending yet teasing. You hooked your leg over his and moved to straddle his thighs as a way to get more of an advantage on him. You began palming him again, this time much lighter so he couldn’t get as much pleasure from it, causing a whine of frustration to leave his lips. It was torture, and he could feel himself getting even more worked up. 

“Please..I’ve been a good boy. I’ve done everything you asked…I need this so badly,” he begged, his voice shaking with need as he looked up at you with pleading eyes. Smirking at his desperation, you moved your hand up to the waistband of his jeans, popping the button then unzipping them. You looked back up at him as your fingers started toying with the waistband of his boxers. 

“I don’t know. You’ve been pretty naughty, always bucking your hips even when I told you that you had to be good and not try to touch me,” you teased. He could feel his heart racing as you played with the waistband of his boxers and your words sending a shiver down his spine. 

“I’m sorry…I couldn’t help it. You just feel so good,” he gasped out, his voice barely above a whisper. He was desperate, willing to get on his hands and knees if it meant you’d give him the release he so desperately craved. You finally hooked your fingers under his waistband. 

“You gonna be a good boy and let me touch you?” you asked, your voice raspy with seduction. His eyes locked onto yours as he swallowed hard. 

“Yes..I’ll be good..Just please..please touch me..” he pleaded, his voice shaking with desire. He would do anything to feel your hands on him. Absolutely anything. You start to pull his pants and boxers down, but stop, right before his tip could peek out. It couldn’t hurt to keep teasing him, right?

“You know, I don’t know if I believe you. Maybe you should beg some more,” you said, looking back into his eyes with a mischievous look. He looked at you with pleading eyes, his desperation evident. He could feel the cold air on the sensitive skin of his tip, and it was driving him crazy. 

“Please…I’ll do anything. I’ll get on my knees and beg if I have to. Just please touch me. I need it so badly. I need to feel your hands on me. I’ll be good. I promise.” A smile formed on your lips on your lip at his begging.

As much as you’d love to see him on his knees, begging to be touched, you figured you could just give it to him. You pulled down his pants and boxers more, just enough for his cock to spring out. The tip was red, hot, and desperate for attention. He let out a sigh of relief as you freed his aching cock. He looked up at you with a mix of desperation and gratitude.

“..Thank you…” he whispered out, his voice trembling. He could feel the cold air on his exposed cock, and it was driving him wild. He wanted you to touch him so badly, to relieve the intense pressure that had been building inside him.

He let out a low moan as you ran your fingers against his sensitive skin, his body tensing at the touch. He closed his eyes, his breathing ragged and uneven. As you wrap your hand around him and brush your hand over the tip, he let out a gasp, his hips bucking up involuntarily. 

“Oh god…that feels so good..” he groaned, his voice thick with pleasure. 

A string of curses escapes his lips as you start loosely pumping his cock, the feeling of your hand dragging against his skin sending waves of pleasure through his body. He tried to keep his hips still, but they kept bucking into your touch, seeking more friction. 

“Please…more…I need more,” he gasped out, voice hoarse with need. You stopped your movements and looked up at him.

“Stop moving and begging or else I’ll stop,” you said, your voice stern and condescending. He whimpered at your command, his body going rigid as he forced himself to stop moving. He opened his eyes and looked up at you, his expression pleading. 

“I’ll be good, I promise. I won’t move or beg…just please…don’t stop,” he pleaded with a trembling voice. He desperately wanted to obey your orders, wanting to prove that he could be good for you. That he deserved this.

Humming contently at his words, you shift your position, now moving your hips closer to his until the base of his cock was pressed right against your covered core. He let out a strangled moan as you moved. He could feel the heat radiating off of you, and it was driving him crazy. He wanted to thrust his hips up against you, but he forced himself to stay still, remembering your command. 

“Please…can I touch you? Just a little bit?” he begged.

“Good boy for asking, but no,” you said with a teasing smile. He let out a frustrated groan as you denied his request, but quickly forgot about it as you started rocking your hips against his cock, rubbing yourself against him. The feeling of your heat against him was almost too much to handle, and he had to fight the urge to grab your hips and pull you closer. 

“God…you’re so cruel..” he gasped out. You giggled as you stopped your movements. 

“Cruel? My love, you better watch your mouth,” you said with a mischievous grin. He swallowed hard as he realized what he had done. He knew he was pushing his luck, but he couldn’t help it. He was so desperate for you, so needy. 

“I’m sorry..I didn’t mean it. You’re not cruel, you’re just…driving me crazy,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. He stared at you with his signature pleading eyes, begging for you to continue. 

You softly giggled at his apology. He just gave you a perfect opening to mess with him just a little bit more. He watched as you slid off his lap and stood beside the bed, a whimper escaping his lips, worried he actually ruined his chance at release. He looked at you with a look of curiosity and frustration, wondering what you were planning next. With your eyes still on his, you slowly moved your hands to your pants and undid them, before slowly pulling them down and stepping out of them. His eyes widened as you were now left in only underwear. 

With a smirk, you crawled back into the position you were in before, straddling his hips. He felt his cock twitch as he watched you and felt your bare legs now pressed against his hips. 

“Fuck…you’re killing me,” he groaned, his hands gripping the sheets tightly. 

He let out a low moan as you grabbed his cock and positioned it against your wet panty-covered core. The feeling of your wetness against him was too much to bear, and he involuntarily bucked his hips again. 

“Please..I need to feel you..no more teasing.” He pleaded, his voice thick with desperation and need. 

“I was gonna let you touch me, but since you keep making commands and bucking into me, I guess I won’t,” you said looking down at him sternly. His eyes widened as you spoke, making him curse under his breath, regretting his actions. 

“No, no, no..I’m sorry..please. I won’t do it again, I promise. I’ll be good. Just please..please please let me touch you,” he begged, his hands still gripping the sheets tightly. He was desperate to feel your skin against his, to feel the warmth and softness of your body. You hummed as you debated his words. 

“Thighs only,” you said as you watched the way he gripped the sheets below him. He let out a sigh of relief as you agreed to let him touch your thighs, albeit just your thighs. He let go of the sheets and reached up to grip your thighs, his hands finally being able to slide up and down your soft skin. 

“Thank you…thank you so much..” he whispered, his fingers softly digging into your flesh. He massaged and gripped at your thighs gently, trying to show you how grateful he was for even this small amount of contact. 

You hummed at the feeling of his large hands on your thighs. Slowly and softly, you began rocking your hips as you watched him. Nick let out a shaky breath at the feeling of your core rubbing against him, driving him insane. He gripped your thighs tighter, his fingers digging into your skin as he fought the urge to thrust up against you.

“God…you feel so good. I wish I could feel you without these damn panties in the way,” he groaned through gritted teeth, his voice strained with need. Pleased with his reaction, and secretly agreeing with him, you slipped your hand down and slid your panties to the side. 

“Your wish is my command, my love,” you said as you pressed your now bare pussy against him. A loud moan left his lips as he watched. The feeling of your bare skin against his was almost too much to handle, and he couldn’t hold back much longer. 

“Oh..f-fuck..that’s so much better,” he gasped out, his hands sliding up to grip your hips, pulling you closer.

“Hey. Thighs only, remember?” you said sternly. You enjoy the way he pulled you, but you couldn’t have him thinking he can just get away with doing what he wants. He quickly let go of your hips, grumbling in frustration, but obeyed your command and brought his hands back to your thighs.

“Sorry..you just feel so good..I couldn’t help myself..I want to feel all of you..” he whimpered. 

“Be a good boy, and you will,” you said as you started moving your hips again. He fit so perfectly between your folds and rested perfectly against your clit, rubbing it every time you moved. 

He watched as you moved, his eyes fixed on the spot where you were connected. The feeling of your slick folds against his sensitive skin was almost too much, and he could feel himself getting closer to the edge. 

“I’ll be good..I promise. I’ll be the best boy for you, just please..don’t stop,” he gasped out. He gripped your thighs tightly, trying to control himself and not buck his hips again. 

You held him closer to your core, applying more pressure. You hummed a moan, loving the feeling of him rubbing against your clit. He groaned as he felt his cock throbbing against you. He could feel your arousal dripping down his shaft, and it was driving him wild. He wanted nothing more than to grab your hips and thrust up into you, but he knew he had to be patient and wait for your permission. 

The pleasure of his cock dragging against you was so nice, and you needed more. You let go of him and moved up his hips more, your core now right above him, and started grinding into him. Soft moans escaped your lips as you felt him rubbing through your folds and against your clit so perfectly. His eyes widened, and he let out a guttural moan, the feeling of your slickness against him becoming too much to bear. He could feel your arousal coating his cock, and he desperately wanted to be inside you. 

“Fuck…you’re so wet…so hot..” he gasped out, his hands gripping your thighs even tighter. 

The feeling of his hands gripping you in pleasure and need just added to the feeling, causing you to speed up your movements and applying more pressure, needing to feel him against you more. His hands gripped your thighs tight enough that you wouldn’t be surprised if they left a bruise, the pressure and friction against his cock becoming almost unbearable. He could feel his release building up inside him, but he fought it, not wanting this moment to end. 

“Please..I need more, I need to be inside you, I need to feel you clenching around me,” he pleaded, his foggy mind causing him to whine. You couldn’t agree more. He let out a gasp as you grabbed his cock and positioned it at your entrance, the feeling of the tip pressing against your slick heat sending shivers down his spine. He looked up at you with pleading eyes, silently begging you to continue. 

“Please…please let me inside. I’ll do anything,” he pathetically whimpered. 

You slowly lowered yourself onto him, causing him to let out a frustrated groan as you teased him. He could feel his cock twitching as you slowly took him, desperate for more.

“You’re torturing me..please..I need to feel all of you,” he begged, his hands returning to your hips and desperately grabbing at them. You wanted to scold him again, but felt as if you teased him enough, so you let it slide as you finally sank down on him. 

Nick let out a loud moan as your hips met, the feeling of your tight walls enveloping him was overwhelming. He gripped your hips tightly, his fingers digging into your skin as he tried to hold back from thrusting up into you.

“Oh..god..you feel so good,” he gasped out, his eyes rolling back in pleasure. 

You grabbed one of his hands and brought it to your core, causing his eyes to shoot back to you as you pressed his fingers against your clit. Quickly understanding, he began rubbing circled against your sensitive nub as you began moving up and down. 

“Oh yes..just like that,” he groaned, his other hand gripping your hip tightly as he tried to hold on for as long as possible. 

A low moan left your lips. The feeling of him filling you up so perfectly, mixed with him rubbing your clit was mind-numbing. You involuntarily clenched around him in pleasure, causing a strangled moan to leave his lips. The feeling of your walls tightening around him almost sending him over the edge. He continued rubbing you, but his movements became more erratic as he fought to hold back his own release. 

“You’re so tight… squeezing me so good..” he gasped out, his eyes locked on where his cock was disappearing inside you. 

You couldn’t fight back the sounds that wanted to escape your lips. He just felt so good and you could feel yourself getting closer. You just needed a little more. 

“Nick?” you whimpered out, causing his eyes to shoot up and meet yours with a dark look of desire. 

“Yes, my love?” he asked, his voice hoarse with need. He continued rubbing you, his fingers moving faster and harder against you, hoping to bring you closer to your release. You had to fight back gasps as you said the words you knew he wanted to hear. 

“Fuck me,” you sternly pleaded, needing him to take over. His eyes widened at your plea, his heart racing in his chest. He had been holding back for so long, so he couldn’t resist any longer.

“With pleasure,” he growled as his hand moved back to your hip, his grip tightening as he began to thrust up into you, meeting your movements with powerful strokes. 

Instantly, loud moans left your lips as you brought your hands up to his chest, leaning on him for support as you gave him full control. He groaned as you gave him a better angle to thrust into you. He could feel your body trembling, and he knew you were getting close. 

“That’s it, baby…Let go. I’ve got you,” he grunted, his thrusts becoming faster and harder as he pounded into you relentlessly, finally not having to hold back anymore. 

Your eyes squeezed shut and your eyebrows furrowed as pleasure coursed through your body with each thrust. Your release was approaching faster and faster. He could feel you clenching around him, and he knew you were getting close. 

“You’re so close, I can feel it. Cum for me, baby. I want to feel you cum all over my cock,” he growled, his own release rapidly approaching. 

With a few more thrusts, you came undone. A loud moan fell from your lips as your head dropped and pleasure took over your body. Nick watched as your body shook in pleasure and he let out a loud groan as he felt your walls spasming around him, the sensation officially pushing him over the edge. 

“F-fuck,” he grunted, his hips stuttering as he thrust up into you a few more times before spilling himself inside you, his cock pulsing as he emptied himself inside you. 

Another loud moan left your lips as you felt his hot cum spill into you. You involuntarily clenched around him more, milking every last drop before collapsing onto his chest. 

He wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly against his chest as he tried to catch his breath. He could feel your heart beating wildly against his own, and he couldn’t help but smile at the feeling of being so close to you. 

“Fuck…that was amazing,” he mumbled, his voice hoarse from exertion. He ran his fingers through your hair and gently stroked your back as he basked in the afterglow of your orgasms.

Once you both finally calmed down, your heartbeats gradually slowing down as you came down from your high, he pressed a gentle kiss on the top of your head, feeling a wave of affection wash over him. 

“You’re amazing, my love,” he murmured against your hair, his fingers still gently running through it. You hummed at his praise and affection, bathing in the dopamine. He chuckled softly at your response, his hands now tracing soothing circles on your back. 

“You’re so quiet now. I think I wore you out,” he teased. A smirk formed on your lips. There was no way you were going to let him bask in that small moment of dominance. You looked up at him and placed a hand on his cheek, ready to pull out your winning move. 

“Yeah, you were such a good boy, Nick,” you said softly, giving him a proud look. His eyes widened and he felt a slight shiver run down his spine, loving the praise. 

“You think I’m a good boy?” he asked, a hint of playfulness in his voice as he leaned into your touch. You softly brushed your thumb against his cheek. 

“Such a good boy. Listening to me and making me feel so good,” you said with a teasing seductive tone, softly clenching around him still inside you to really prove your point. He let out a low moan, his cock still sensitive from his orgasm. He couldn’t help but feel a rush of pleasure at your words and actions. 

“Oh god..don’t..don’t do that. You’re gonna get me worked up again,” he groaned, his grip on you tightening slightly as he tried to control himself. You giggled mischievously at his reaction. 

“And we wouldn’t want that, would we?” you asked playfully. Nick shook his head, a mixture of amusement and frustration on his face. 

“No, we wouldn’t. But you’re making it so hard to behave right now,” he said, his voice low and gravelly. He shifted slightly underneath you, trying to adjust himself so he wasn’t so sensitive, but it was difficult with you still wrapped around him. You hummed, amused. He was just making this too easy. 

“You’re a good boy, Nick, I know you’ll behave,” you said softly as you ‘absentmindedly’ shifted into a ‘more comfortable position’, so your hips were slightly raised, him still halfway inside you.

Nick let out a soft groan, his cock twitching as you shifted. He could feel your breath on his chest, and the feeling of your body pressed against him was driving him crazy. He tried to calm himself down, taking deep breaths and focusing on your words. 

“I’m trying..but it’s not easy when you’re being so tempting,” he muttered, his hands moving to your hips, gently rubbing circles against your skin. 

You giggled softly. This wasn’t anywhere near over for him. He was smug now, but you were going to break him until he cried. With your head still lying on his chest and a sweet smile on your lips, you very slowly started moving your hips. Pressing them down torturously slow so he sank back into you, then lifting them so he dragged back out of you. He let out a strangled moan, the slow and deliberate movements driving him crazy. He gripped you hips tightly, trying to control himself as you teased him. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that?” he groaned out, his eyes closed as he tried to focus on anything but the feeling of your body against his. 

“Just be a good boy and ignore me,” you said sweetly as you continued your movements, loving the feeling of him slowly dragging in and out of you. 

He let out a low growl, his fingers digging into your hips as he fought to follow your instructions. He desperately wanted to thrust up into you, to take control and make you his, but he knew that you were testing him. And he couldn’t let himself disobey your orders. 

“It’s not that easy,” he said through gritted teeth, his eyes fixed on the way your ass moved up and down on him. 

“Just think of anything but the feeling of your cock slowly pumping in and out of me,” you teased, your tone full of faux innocence. His eyes darkened at your words and he let out a frustrated huff. 

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? Torturing me like this?” he asked, his voice laced with both desire and annoyance. He tried to think of anything else, but everytime he closed his eyes, all he could see was the image of you riding him. 

“Torturing you would be forcing you to stop touching me again,” you teased, a mischievous smile forming on your face. His grip on your hips tightened as his eyes snapped open and looked at you. 

“Don’t you dare,” he said, his voice low and serious. You were right, but he was already struggling to control himself as is. 

Hearing his challenge, you lifted yourself so now you were holding yourself up on your hands and knees, able to easily rock back and forth to continue teasing him. His breath hitched in his throat, this angle making it even more difficult to resist the urge to thrust up into you. You looked straight into his eyes with a mischievous look. 

“Don’t challenge me, love. I absolutely will if I have to,” you said, your tone condescending yet seductive. 

“You’re such a brat, you know that?” he growled, his voice low and husky. Despite his frustration, he couldn’t help but find your confidence and control arousing. You brought your hand to his jaw and held it, forcing him to look at you. 

“Now now. Don’t be mean. I could make this absolute torture for you,” you said sternly with a smirk. His eyes narrowed as his gaze was locked on yours. He knew you had the upper hand in this situation, but he couldn’t help but feel a mix of frustration and excitement at your dominance, wanting to test it. 

“And what exactly would you do to me, hm?” he asked, his voice dripping with defiance. You raised an eyebrow at his tone. 

“You really wanna know?” you asked, your tone both teasing yet threatening. His expression darkened, a hint of a challenge in his eyes. 

“Yes, I do. I want to know what you’d do to punish me for being mean,” he said, his voice low and dangerous. He couldn’t resist the temptation to push your buttons, even if it meant getting himself in trouble. 

You let out a huff at his bratty attitude. Within a blink of an eye, you grabbed his wrists and held them above his head as you fully sunk down on him, using your body weight as leverage to keep him pinned. He gasped as you moved. He struggled against your grip, but found that he couldn’t break free. And the feeling of being completely inside of you again caused a moan to rumble deep in his chest. 

“Oh god..you’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?” he said through gritted teeth, his eyes locked on yours with a mixture of desire and frustration. You leaned down so your lips were close to his ear. 

“You tested me. You wanted to be a naughty boy, so now you’re stuck like this,” you whispered harshly into his ear, causing him to shuttered and tense beneath you. He couldn’t tell if he hated being restrained like this, or if it turned him on even more. 

“I-I didn’t mean to be naughty. I can’t help myself when you’re being such a brat,” he protested weakly, his hips twitching as he tried to move against you. 

He was really pushing his luck now. You tightly clenched around him in punishment as he called you a brat again. He let out a low groan, the feeling of your tight walls gripping him making it difficult for him to think straight. He finally gave in.

“Watch it.” you said sternly. 

“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to call you a brat. You’re just so damn irresistible when you’re in control like this,” he whimpered out, a hint of frustration in his tone. 

“I’m glad you enjoy it, because now you’re stuck like this. I’m not moving,” you said harshly. He let out a frustrated whine at your words. 

“You can’t leave me like this. I need more. I need to feel you moving on me,” he pleaded, his hips shifting beneath you in a futile attempt to get some friction. You just pressed your hips into his more as your grip on his wrists tightened.

“I can do as I please. And it’s not so bad right? Feeling my tight pussy around you as you’re restrained to the bed. You get to think about the way you came in me. The way you thrusted in me and how I moaned in pleasure. The way my body shook as I came around your cock,” you whispered in his ear, your voice both seductive and menacing.

He let out a low whine as you effectively immobilized him. Your words sent shivers down his spine and he could feel his cock twitch inside you as he thought about everything you said. 

“You’re evil,” he whined, his breath coming out in ragged gasps as he struggled against your grip on his wrists. 

“That’s what you get when you’re a naughty boy. You’re lucky you even get to feel me. I could tie you to this bed as I play with my pussy in front of you and never let you touch me,” you whispered menacingly into his ear. His eyes widened at your threat, and he felt a pang of desperation in his chest. 

“No, no, please don’t do that. I’ll be good, I probably. I’ll be your good boy,” he said quickly, his voice a pleading whine. The thought of being denied any further contact with you was too much to bear. 

“Oh? So you wanna be a good boy again?” you ask condescendingly. He nodded vigorously, his expression full of submission. 

“Yes, yes, I do. I’ll do anything you say. I’ll be your good boy, your obedient slave. Just please, please let me touch you. Let me feel you,” he begged, his voice trembling with desperation. A small amused huff left your lips. 

“Sorry, my love. You haven’t proved yourself just yet. But I’ll give you a chance. No touching. No moving. Got it?” you asked him sternly. He let out a frustrated growl, but nodded in defeat. 

“I got it. No touching and no moving. I’ll stay still like a good boy,” he said, his voice tinged with resignation. He was desperate for your touch, but he knew he had to obey your rules if he wanted any chance of being rewarded. 

You let out a hum of appreciation as you began moving your hips again. He let out a sigh of relief, his eyes fluttering shut in pleasure. He clenched his fists, fighting the urge to move. Instead, he focused on your words and kept his hands firmly pinned above his head, even though every fiber in his being was screaming for him to try and touch you.

You two finished cleaning yourselves up and getting dressed again. You were cuddling on his bed, whispering sweet things to him, praising him and complimenting him. Telling him how good he was and how pretty his eyes looked when he looked up at you like that. He just softly hummed at your praise, staring up at you in adoration as you spoke. 

That’s when you heard the door downstairs close and a stampede of feet come into the house, causing you two to scramble up and out of his bed. You both took one last look at yourselves, making sure the previous event wasn’t painstakingly obvious, before opening his bedroom door and going back to the places you were before. Him on his laptop and you nonchalantly scrolling on his bed. 

You heard footsteps coming up the stairs and turned to the door to see a smiling Noah appear. 

“Show me the new tat,” he said excitedly, causing you to laugh.

You sat up and lifted your shirt, holding it right below your bra. He got closer and looked at it smiling. 

“That’s sick! It really fits you. Nick did a good job,” he said as he examined it. You smiled and turned to Nick, who was watching you two. 

“Yeah. He did really good,” you said, secretly winking at Nick since Noah’s eyes were focused on your new piece. 

Nick blushed and turned back to his laptop as Noah stood back up and looked at you. But then his eyes caught something. 

“And what’s that?” he said, a smirk forming on his face as he pointed to your neck. The fresh love bite, still forming on your skin.

[unlimitedlust]

Chokehold - Noah Sebastian x Reader (+18)

Author's Note:

Heyy, I've had this idea in my head for a while now and it took me some time to finally write it so I hope y'all like it!!

I'm new to this fandom and this is my very first Noah Sebastian fanfiction, but I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Disclaimers: as any other content in this blog, this is a highly NSFW smutty story so if you're not into this kind of explicit content I advise you not to read it. Here you'll have a bit of plot and lots of porn, unprotected p in v (be safe out there), oral (f receiving), Noah being a giver, alcohol and lots of explicit descriptions.

English is not my first language, so forgive me for any mistakes I eventually skipped while proof-reading it.

I wrote it to Sleep Token's "Chokehold", "Take Me Back To Eden" and "The Summoning", and also to Bad Omens' "The Death Of Piece Of Mind" and "What It Cost", so if you're into listening to something while reading, I recommend you these songs.

WC: 4.7K

Enjoy your time here and if you enjoy it, feel free to leave it a like and/or to reblog the story, your feedback is what keeps me writing!!

End of Author's Note

-0-

You were Bad Omens’ photographer for the tour, the one responsible for taking all the pictures the fans would go feral online, especially Noah’s, and you couldn’t help but to keep giving them more material, because even though you’d never admit it, you’d also secretly had a deep crush on him. 

The guys from the band and the crew would often joke about how Noah’s pictures were the best ones and how you privileged him over the rest of the band, but you always dismissed the subject by saying that it wasn’t your fault he had the better angle since he was the lead singer. It was true in some aspects, yes, but your skills for taking fantastic pictures no matter how challenging the circumstance was were undeniable, so in the end of the day, it wasn’t hard to reach the conclusion that Noah was your favorite.

You often caught yourself admiring the pictures you took of him, his perfect angelical features in contrast with his tattoo covered skin, the way his eyes would catch the lens like he was staring right into your soul through the camera separating you.

But that was all coming to an end tonight.

They’d just played their last concert of the tour and you’d all agreed to make a small (kind of) party to celebrate it at the boys’ place.

You felt bittersweet towards the event. You were happy to be partying with them and being able to enjoy the moment without the concern of taking the perfect pictures. But on the other hand, you were sad you wouldn’t be seeing the band daily anymore and you’d miss them because you’d gotten attached to them and to their jokes, and also (and obviously) because you wouldn’t be seeing Noah anymore.

Your flight home for the morning after the party was already booked and you’d already checked in to save you some time.

So you sighed when you walked inside the big house in front of you. You, like always, held your confident and unwavering poise before everyone, but deep down you were uneasy. Was this the last time you’d be seeing him? In how long? Or ever?

You couldn’t hear the sounds of your heels clicking on the wooden floor because at each step you got closer to the party where loud music was blasting and you soon found the small crowd of people in the main living room already having their own fun.

You felt an arm hooking on yours and suddenly Folio was pulling you through the people towards the rest of the band and you couldn’t help but to smile at the unexpected gesture.

Your heart raced and your cheeks burned as you got closer to Noah, who’d been watching you from the moment you arrived, but you played it cool like always as you got to them and Ruffilo immediately put a bottle of beer in your hand.

Noah couldn’t take his eyes off you. 

You didn’t know that, but he also had a strong crush on you and all of the band knew it. He always told them it was just a small crush and they should ignore it just as he did (or tried), because he wanted to keep it professional between you two.

But when you got to his sight and he saw you wearing that black leather crop top, with thin straps on your shoulders, just a zipper on the front imprisoning your breasts and highlighting your cleavage, along with a high-waisted skinny black skirt molding your curves and, mainly, your ass, bare toned legs on display and black boots on your feet, he was done.

You’d spent the last months practically living together in tour buses and stuff, but you always wore larger, baggy dark clothes that’d cover your body and blend you with the rest of the crew, so how well you looked caught not only Noah’s attention, but everyone else’s, the difference tonight was the fact that Noah just wouldn’t stop staring.

You felt confident, you knew you looked hot and secretly you’d chosen your clothes just for him, to impress him, to catch his attention. And your mission was successfully accomplished.

“Hey pretty” Noah reached his right arm out and pulled you to him in a side hug before kissing the top of your head.

“Hey handsome”

That exchange wasn’t new for you, it was like that every time you met, but this time, the way his lips lingered longer in your forehead as you inhaled his scent deeply got you very aware that something was different tonight. Was it because you were parting ways?

When he let you go he searched for the flustered expression you always had in your face when he did that, but sensed some apprehension instead, despite the grin forming on your lips.

Another thing you didn’t know is that Noah learned over time how to read you and he loved how cute you looked every time he got a shy smile out of your lips.

He loved how flustered you got when he gave the camera the looks he knew got you weak on your knees, because every time he did that, he saw how you unwittingly licked your lips as you checked out the pictures you’d just taken. And no, you didn’t have that same reaction over the pictures you took from the rest of the band, no matter how incredible they were.

“Gonna miss me now that the tour is over?” You teased him, taking a sip from your beer.

“Miss you? Why? We’re not going anywhere” Confusion splattered across Noah’s face as he had his full attention on you.

“You remember I live on the other side of the world right?”

His jaw visibly tensed when he finally processed the information you just brought him.

“Fuck…” Noah was frustrated “But you’re still coming for the barbecue tomorrow, right?” 

“Uh… Nope… My flight leaves early in the morning actually…” You felt guilty as the words came from your lips, the intensity of his glare over you stealing your breath as Noah looked like he’d just been stabbed.

“No, you can’t do that… Are you saying this is our last night with you until God knows when?”

He took a big gulp of his own beer, his knuckles white due to the hard grip on the bottle and on the counter behind him, until he sighed in defeat.

“Come on, it’s not like we’re never seeing each other again” You nudged him trying to cheer him up “All you gotta do is hire me as your photographer again” You winked at him and took another swing of your beer, but you didn’t miss the way he watched your lips wrapping around the bottle.

“You say it like we’ve fired you, but you forget you won’t get rid of us, and especially me that easy”

“Like I’d want to get rid of you” You rolled your eyes.

“You could’ve waited a little longer to go home though, are you that tired of looking at my face?” He teased, the smirk on his lips making you weak on your knees.

“Tired of looking at a catch like that? Never”

“You think I’m a catch? Good to know” The way his eyes burned as he looked at you up and down again raised goosebumps on your skin.

“You’re insufferable” 

“And you’re a terrible liar” He grabbed your hand “Now come on let’s have some fun”

The rest of the band along with other guests had gathered around the sofas in the middle of the room, all of them paying attention to Jolly, who was explaining the rules of the drinking game he’d just invented.

After a few drinks, beers and shots in, you along with anyone else got loose and the games that were tame at first got wilder as the night went on.

“Truth or dare, come on, never gets old and I’m dying for some revelations tonight” Folio spun an empty bottle in the center of the coffee table in front of them “bottom asks, top answers”

The bottle finally stopped spinning and you had the first round: Rufillo to Jolly.

Jolly chose dare and Rufillo made him drink 5 seconds of tequila.

Another spin. Folio to you.

“Come on honey, truth or dare?” He made the question with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Truth”

“Let’s heat things up a bit then: of the people in this room, who would you make out with?”

Your cheeks burned red with his question as all eyes were on you and the room went silent waiting for your answer. Yet you weren’t shy, the alcohol in your system had you bold at that point.

“Noah” 

“Yet you always deny he’s your favorite” Folio pretended to be offended.

You winked at Noah, who was sitting by your side, eyes narrowed in you as he raked them over you, visibly satisfied by your answer.

A few more rounds went by until the bottle landed on Noah.

“Truth or dare, buddy?” Folio had evil intentions in his eyes again and of course Noah wasn’t going to be spared.

“Dare”

“I dare you to take a body shot on the person you find the hottest in this room”

Noah left his place by your side as the boys brought him salt, a piece of lime and a shot of tequila. When he got up you felt your heart sinking in your chest with the realization he might choose another girl, but when he knelt in front of you, you lost your breath.

Noah rested his tattooed hands on your knees, uncrossed your legs and pulled you towards him, to the edge of the couch, the way he manhandled you catching you off guard as he was now between your legs and your skirt rose higher, getting dangerously shorter.

Heat pooled in your panties as you watched him lean you backwards and prepare you for the body shot. He placed the small glass of tequila in your cleavage, poured salt on your neck and the piece of lime between your lips.

“May I?” He splayed his hands on your thighs as the smug on his lips grew wider.

Since your lips were occupied by the piece of lime, you only nodded, watching him lick his lips as he leaned closer towards your neck. 

Noah took his time on licking the salt off your neck, swirling his tongue and kissing your skin in the process, then made his way down to your chest where his nose brushed against the valley of your breasts as he wrapped his lips around the shot glass to down it, and for last came up for the lime on your lips, his own ghosting over yours as he took it with his teeth, eyes locked on yours as he teased you in front of everyone, fingers sinking on your thighs as he seemed to be holding himself back.

Rufillo cleared his throat loudly and Noah quickly stood on his feet.

“Fuck I’m dizzy” Was all you could muster as you got up as well all flustered, pulling your skirt down as you headed for the kitchen for some water.

You were so aroused you didn’t know what to do with yourself. Your core ached between your legs as you pressed them together hoping for some friction. You chugged down a glass of cold water in a vain attempt to ease your nerves, but it wasn’t water you were thirsty for.

The feel of his tongue and lips on your neck still lingered, tingling, and you wondered what he would do to you if you weren’t surrounded by people.

“Thirsty?” Noah materialized behind you, practically caging you, but also keeping some distance.

His eyes were darker than usual, burning holes in yours as he waited for your answer, and you both knew very well that “water” wasn’t the subject, and since this was your last night with them, with him, you weren’t running away anymore.

“Been the whole tour” You fired back at him and he took a step closer.

“Same on my part” He cupped your cheek with one of his hands, his fingers entangling with the hair on your nape while his thumb traced your lips “It’s a shame we waited this long… If you only knew all the ways I’ve had you in my mind…”

His husky voice sent your shivers straight to your pussy at his confession, and you wanted nothing but to have at least a sneak peak of what he’d had in his head. If only he could know what’s been to yours as well.

“Well now I can’t seem to understand why are you taking so long to show me?”

“Is there someone in a hurry?”

“Since I have a flight in the morning…” His hand slid down to your neck, choking you.

“And who says you’re getting into that plane tomorrow?” You couldn’t help but to moan when he tightened his hand around your neck just enough to make you melt into his grip “Let’s get out of here”

He let go of your neck and grabbed your hand, guiding you upstairs towards his bedroom. You stood in the middle of his room waiting for his next step as he locked the door behind him, the predatory gaze sending shivers down your spine as he checked you out once again.

“You are so fucking beautiful”

You couldn’t help but to blush at his confession as he stood in front of you, both hands cupping your face, admiring your delicate features.

“I’ve been wanting to do this since the first day I laid my eyes on you” He licked his lips, his eyes shifting from your lips to your eyes.

“Fucking kiss me, Noah”

“Thought you’d never ask”

He crashed his lips against yours and you felt your body going limp in his arms as he deepened the kiss. You let your fingers trail their way through his dark soft hair as his tongue explored yours, devouring you. He kissed you passionately and his hands roamed free over your body, you nibbled his lower lip and he pulled your hips closer, making sure you’d feel how hard he already was, pressing against your belly.

“If you don’t tell me to stop now, I won’t” He gasped, his restraint holding on by a thread.

“Who says I want you to stop?” Your hands slid down his chest to the hem of his shirt “I want your everything” You pulled his shirt upwards and he took the cue to help you take it off.

Your fingertips traced the tattoos on his body in admiration, every inch of him pure perfection in your eyes.

He kissed you again and guided you backwards to his bed, making your body collapse on it just as you felt your calves hitting its edge. Noah hovered over you, the thin chain around his neck dangling over you, almost touching your face as his hand ran up the side of your body from your outer thigh.

When he reached your ribcage, his fingers changed their path to the middle of your chest, to the zipper of your crop top, and you held your breath as he opened it slowly, eyes trained on you as the leather piece slowly slid off your breasts revealing them to him, nipples hard and sensitive on his full disposal.

“Fucking amazing”

Your lips met once more as he splayed one of his hands on one of your boobs, fondling it and pitching your nipple between his tattooed fingers. His body stood between your legs and you whimpered when he rubbed his clothed manhood against your aching center, covered only by helplessly damp lace panties.

His lips trailed kisses down your jaw towards your neck, where he now, very aware of your sensitivity in that area, covered your skin in with kisses and angry love-bites, clearly intending on marking you as his.

Your manicured nails ran up his back as his lips now peppered kisses down your clavicles to your chest, his mouth immediately latching on one of your breasts, suckling and nibbling your nipple, to then soothe the small sting with the softness of his tongue before switching his attention to the other.

You arched your back, legs spreading wider apart as you surrender yourself completely to his mercy, small cries of pleasure escaping your lips as you watched him, mouth and hands full of your boobs, the ache between your legs almost unbearable as you desperately needed him there, filling you.

“Noah please…” You pleaded as your legs tried to pull his hips to grind against you with no avail.

His voice was raw, deep and filled with lust: “Please what?” 

He teased, lips now traveling lower on your body, stopping only to give him enough room to take both your skirt and panties at once, throwing it randomly in his room.

“I need you to tell me what you want babe” He nibbled the skin right below your navel, and the realization of how close he was to your intimacy sent stronger shivers over your body as he kissed your inner thighs “Fuck you’re dripping”

“I need you inside me, please” You whined as his lips got closer to your hot center, his eyes admiring how glistening wet you already were for him before he blew his breath on you, making you quiver at the sensitivity.

“I will princess, but I need to taste you first”

Noah spread your legs wider apart and his tongue ran flat over your pussy, collecting and tasting all the arousal he could get, moaning against you as he finally got to taste you. His skilled tongue on your clit got you seeing stars in seconds as he worked on building your orgasm, and you prayed the music downstairs was loud enough to keep the rest of the party from hearing you, because you just couldn’t hold yourself back.

“You taste so fucking good”

Noah ate you like a starved man, feasting on you, taking pleasure in watching the sexed expressions on your face and how you helplessly writhed below him. He added a finger inside you as he kept working on you with his mouth, his long finger immediately finding the magic spongy spot inside you that made your legs shake around his neck as the pleasure knot forming on your lower belly threatened to explode violently at any second.

You tried to hold it back for as long as you could, but when he combined the work on your clit with his tongue along with a precise flick of his wrist, he forced the orgasm out of you in strong white hot waves of ecstasy, making you lose your senses for a few seconds as he rode your high.

Yet Noah didn’t stop.

Still eating you, he held you firmly and flipped you both on the bed, making you sit on his face. Your faltering legs threatened your balance, but his firm grip kept you up straight. 

You looked below you and the scene alone almost made you cum again. The pussy-drunk look on his face, the disheveled hair, the way half of his face was covered in your slick, dark eyes glossy as he looked up meeting yours as he kept lapping, sucking, overstimulating you on purpose.

“Oh my fuck N-Noah…” 

“Fuck my face babe” 

He growled against you, fingers sinking on your ass cheeks as you, still shaky, followed his command and started to roll your hips back and forth, allowing you to control the pace, the pressure, and to use his face on your own will.

You felt your climax blossoming inside you again as he kept devouring you, drinking in every drop he could take from you, his nose rubbing against your clit while he fucked you with his tongue. 

“Oh fuck… Noah…” Your orgasm bubbled up inside you again, but you were not ready for it yet, you were sure you’d collapse on top of him if he gave you another one in such a short time.

As if reading your thoughts Noah stopped, keeping you from falling apart so soon, but on the other hand edging you as you were so close to jumping off that cliff again.

You got off of his face and moved down his body to remove his pants and underwear, hurried, dying to feel him. He propped himself on his elbows and watched you undress him with shaky hands, the fucked out expression on your face making him want more of you.

Your jaw dropped when his cock sprung free, rock hard against his belly, head glistening with precum, the size and thickness doing justice to his height, and your throat went dry to the thinking of how he would feel inside you, stretching you.

“It’s all yours” He grinned, watching you admire him.

You straddled and pulled him up to kiss you and your taste still lingered on his tongue. His arms wrapped around your back and waist bringing you closer, and you took the cue to rock yourself against his shaft, coating it with your arousal, mixing it with his precum, the friction making him groan against your lips.

You pulled his hair, tilting his head back exposing his neck, and attacked it with your lips and tongue, all while you now teased the head of his cock with your opening, pretending you’d finally let him in, threatening to finally join your bodies, but skipping it every time, his digits digging on your flesh with his impatiency.

“You’re gonna make me beg for it now?” He peppered kisses on your chest and collarbone.

“You tell me… You want it that bad?” You whispered in his ear and nibbled on his earlobe.

That’s until he took control over you again and held your hips in place, lining himself with your entrance, all while he pulled you by your hair with his free hand, pulling you away from his neck, making you look at him, eyes so dark with lust and oozing such a primal desire you felt like prey.

“I do” 

He caressed your cheek with his thumb.

“Now eyes on me” 

He instructed and you immediately obeyed. With one of his hands still on the back of your head and the other on your hip, the tip of his cock met your pussy and Noah pressed you down on him, merging your bodies slowly. His name came out of your lips in such a sinful pitch that made him throb inside you, the vision and the feeling of you, flesh and bone, being endlessly better than he could’ve ever imagined.

Your arms snaked around his neck as he bottomed you out, you felt so full and stretched, your whole body was on fire, ignited with desire, and when you got used to his size you started to move on top of him, slowly increasing your pace as you rode him, stealing grunts of pleasure out of him every time you intentionally clenched around him and fucked him harder, your skin slapping against his as his fingers dug into your thighs.

He was so lost in his own moment he didn’t know if he should look at where your bodies merged, at your boobs bouncing in front of his face or at your sex glazed eyes. His lips captured yours once again as you rocked your hips back and forth, that very specific motion almost making you both snap.

“Fuck you’re gonna make me cum” 

He whined and rolled you both, laying you on the bed as he got on top of you, switching positions so he could last longer, to feel you longer, to fuck you longer. He pushed himself inside of you again and all at once, at the new depth he reached with that position turned you into a moaning mess as he now set his own pace, but making sure that with every thrust he stimulated that very spot he found earlier inside you.

“Noah oh my…” 

You couldn’t finish your sentence as that postponed orgasm emerged again like a tsunami, washing away all of your senses as it bursted from inside out, hard, making your pussy clench desperately around him as he rode your high, taking every bit of his restraint to ride you through it without unloading inside you, cock throbbing in need, and just as he felt your body becoming jelly under his he pulled out of you, cumming on your belly in long hot spurts as he stilled over you, cheeks red and eyes rolled back.

He glued his forehead on yours, breathing still heavy as he came back from his own high, admiring how impossibly beautiful you looked at that very moment.

“There’s no fucking way I’m letting you into that plane tomorrow”

[xx-like-a-villian-xx]

For The Last Time | One

“It had been months since you’d seen each other, five and three days to be exact (not that he was counting or anything), months since you had broken up with him. You said it was for the best, that your careers were more important but Noah didn’t think so.”

What I thought was going to be a lil angsty one shot has become a multiple part cry fest ahhh. Here’s part one <3

I'm posting this because it's in my drafts x

My ao3 is HERE

Also let me know if you want to be tagged in any upcoming posts :)

CW: post break up, angst, Noah has lots of feelings, “talking” about feelings, loads of swearing

(Dropping this because it was burning a hole in my drafts and I just wanted to get it out there)

18+ MDNI | Noah Sebastian x Reader

“Thought I’d find you here.” Your voice reached Noah’s ears like a siren song and it was infuriating.

He turned slightly, watching you approach him in that dress, that fucking dress that hugged every single curve on your body so perfectly it made him feel crazy, feral. He had been trying his damned hardest to avoid you all night and of course you found him, cigarette between his tattooed fingers, on the balcony, moping.

“The party is wild in there.” You gestured to the balcony doors that were muffling the sound of chatter and loud music inside.

“Yeah, I just needed some quiet.” His voice was gruff when he spoke and it only made you roll your eyes.

It had been months since you’d seen each other, five and three days to be exact (not that he was counting or anything), months since you had broken up with him. You said it was for the best, that your careers were more important but Noah didn’t think so.

You see, Noah would have walked through fire, jumped in front of a bullet, he would have stolen the moon from the fucking sky if you asked him to but you didn’t feel the same and as much as it hurt to watch you walk away, he did because he loved you. Issue is, he just couldn’t get over you.

He had avoided you like the plague for months but it was getting progressively harder because you shared friends. Usually it was easy, he left when you showed up, he asked around to see if you were going to events so he could make excuses not to go. It was fine, he hated socialising at the best of times so it was no skin off his nose.

Then you showed up to the album release in that fucking dress and his heart just about dropped out of his ass. And the worst part? You had some six foot four Doberman energy gym rat on your arm. That’s when he found himself storming out to the balcony with a half drank bottle of Hennessy and a pack of cigarettes he had stolen off the kitchen island.

He didn’t dare look at you again, instead his eyes stayed trained on the twinkling lights of the city when you joined him at the railing, your warmth burning his skin like acid.

”How have you been?”

Well that was a loaded question. What was he meant to say? ‘Oh yeah, I’m fantastic, nice to see you, Y/N. Who’s the hunk?’ Nah. He would rather put his hand in a blender.

“Fine.” He wasn’t in the mood to talk to you. Instead he stubbed the cigarette out and took a long swig of the cognac, letting it burn down his throat in an attempt to quell the anger boiling in his blood.

He could feel you shift uncomfortably next to him and he had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. What did you have to feel uncomfortable about? You practically tore his heart out and curb stomped it. And to add a cherry on top of the shit icing, you decided his fucking album release party would be the best time to hard launch your new man.

Noah really, really wasn’t in the mood and he was practically begging the gods to make you just go inside and forget about it, enjoy your night and have fun but instead you reached out, took the bottle from his hands and took a huge swig.

Fuck.

“Shouldn’t you be with your date, Mick is it?” He finally grits through a clenched jaw.

You chuckle lightly. “It’s Mike, and he’s talking to Folio about fishing.”

Betrayer, of course he would be. Trust Folio to be rubbing shoulders with the enemy over fucking fishing poles.

Noah hums, running a hand through his recently cut short hair.

”It suits you, you know, short hair.” He turned to you fully with furrowed eyebrows. What was your game?

God you looked fucking beautiful, your hair was pulled back into a bun at the back of your neck, curled strands framing your face. Sharp wings of eyeliner made your eye colour stand out beautifully in the low light, along with those dark lashes and your lips were painted a shade of red that could only be described as unholy and fuck, he just wanted to feel them on his again.

”You think?” His voice was weak and he internally kicked himself for even looking at you because his knees felt weak and his stomach felt like it might explode.

You smiled that smile that he fell for all those years ago, reaching your hand out to brush a stray piece of hair from his eyes.

Yeah, he was well and truly fucked, done for, so fucking completely in love with you. He was never getting over you.

“Hey, we’re about to play the album.” Nicholas’ voice from the balcony door made you jump back away from Noah.

”See you inside, yeah?” He nodded at your words, watching you walk back inside to Mike, planting a soft kiss on the guy's cheek and Noah wanted to vomit.

Nicholas was staring at him with a smirk.

”Shut the fuck up.” Noah pointed at his best friend, grabbing the bottle of Hennessy before pushing his way inside.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Noah had been shifting uncomfortable in his seat, your narrowed eyes burning into him for almost an hour. You were clinging on to every fucking lyric he wrote and he knew he was in for it the moment you could get him alone again.

So as soon as the album had played through and chatter started up again, he was up on his feet, moving across the room before you could get to him.

”Hey, Noah isn’t it?” Oh for fuck’s sake. Mike held a hand out to him,

Noah hesitantly shook it with a smile that he was faking hard, gritting his teeth. “Yeah, nice to meet you…Mike?”

The taller man grinned. “Yeah, I’m Y/N’s boyfriend but I’m guessing you already know.”

Yeah, he fucking does know.

“It’s so sick that she knows you guys, I’ve listened to your last two albums and they go hard, man.”

Noah nodded, smiling, looking behind the guy to see you storming towards them with clenched fists.

“Look, Mike, I’m sorry to cut this short bu-“

“Hi babe, what are we talking about?” Fuck, you were now standing next to Mike, staring up at Noah with a false grin that screamed ‘I’m going to fucking kill you’.

”Oh, I was just telling Noah how much I fuck with the music babe.” Mike was completely unaware of the frustration bubbling in your bones, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

”That’s lovely.” You cooed, planting a kiss on his cheek. “Could you give Noah and I a second to talk, Folio is looking for you I think.”

Shit, shit, shit. There was no way he was getting out of it now. Mike leaned down to pull you into a kiss before strutting towards Folio and Noah just about wanted the ground to swallow him up right there and then.

”Downstairs, now.”

He had no choice but to follow you down the stairs like a lost dog, shuffling his feet as you stomped down the steps. As soon as you reached the outside, you turned to him with flailing arms.

”What the fuck is all that, Noah? You think that’s okay, airing our dirty laundry out like that?” You were seething, face turning beet red.

”It’s music, Y/N, not everything is about you.”

“Oh so ‘someone else’, ‘the death of peace of mind’ and what was the other one? ‘Bad decisions’? They’re not about me? Right…so the pretty much direct fucking quotes from our break up aren’t there? Sure.” You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest.

”First of all, it’s ‘somebody else’. Second of all, why does it matter? You’ve clearly moved on. I mean fuck me right?” He laughed incredulously, running a hand through his hair. “You said that you didn’t want to be with me anymore because your career was taking up all of your time and energy and then you show up here with a new guy, smushing face with him in front of me and my brothers like nothing happened. We were together for six fucking years, Y/N!”

He took a deep breath, chest heaving. You stared up at him with glassy eyes full of fire but he was past caring by that point.

”So forgive me, darling, for pouring my heart into my music. Our break up is still a fresh wound. I genuinely thought that we were gonna be end game and yeah, I’m not fucking over it. Did you even listen to ‘Just Pretend’, huh?”

A tear fell from your lashes onto your cheekbone, your face softening and Noah couldn’t watch. He hated the bullshit, the anger, the sadness. He just wanted to wrap you up in his arms and go back to when everything was okay, back when you were still his. Fuck, it was too much.

”Look, I’m sorry for shouting. I just find it really hypocritical of you to be going off at me like that when you completely blindsided me tonight.”

You nodded your head quickly, wiping the tears away with the back of your hand. He was right, you had no place to be upset when you had hurt him, really fucking hurt him.

Noah could hear Jolly calling his name from inside and he sighed. “Maybe we can talk about all of this over coffee sometime next week. It’s a conversation we really need to have, cut the loose ends so both of us can move on, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Your voice was quiet as a mouse, eyes trained on your shoes.

He wanted to reach out, pull you into his chest and comfort you but it wasn’t the right time, he didn’t think it would ever be. You had someone else to hold you and he was upstairs waiting.

“Text me, my number is still the same.”

With a sad smile, he turned, making his way back inside.

[saythatuwill]

now playing : housofpsychoticwomn // ethel cain

warnings: body horror, repeated mentions of suicide, detailed descriptions of uncomfortable sounds and scents, emetophobia/vomiting, major character "death", knives, hallucinations, unhealthy/toxic behavior caused by outside/otherworldly forces, implications of cannibalism(?), possession (IF I HAVE MISSED ANYTHING, PLEASE INFORM ME)

pairing: noah sebastian x nick folio characters: noah sebastian, nick folio, reader, nicholas ruffilo (mentioned), jolly karlsson (mentioned), vessel (mentioned)

word count: 5.6k

please know that this fic is my darkest to date, the warnings are there for a reason. this piece is part of a universe i've been working on since 2018. it is meant to be a psychological horror video game set in an apocalypse-type world. you will see the video game elements in this piece. this is a reader insert, but not in the conventional way- here, you are a silent protagonist in a world you do not fully understand, trying to save those who have been lost to what's ravaged the world.

while there are extremely dark things in this fic, please know that it is in fact fiction. i do not condone things written here, nor do i think that any of the people in this work would actually behave this way. with this universe specifically, the characters are pretty much entirely separate from who they actually are irl. i have merely used their faces and names, maybe a few details, and then everything else is original.

there are things in this fic that won't make sense to you, and that is intended. you will be in the shoes of two characters who do not fully understand what is happening. this piece is designed to be uncomfortable, confusing, but hopefully still captivating.

i cannot guarantee there will be additional chapters/parts to this, but i am always happy to talk about this universe and explain things.

YOUR MENTAL HEALTH COMES BEFORE ANY FANFICTION. this could be too much for some readers, and if that is the case, DO NOT force yourself to read this. if this is not for you, i hope to see you in the next one.

tags: @concretejunglefm, @fadingangelwisp, @chey-h, @xmads-omensx, @astronoids, @bloody-spades (if you would like to be added/removed from this list, dm me!)

The house is uncomfortably still. If you didn’t know better, you’d think people still lived in it. A flatscreen TV hangs on the wall, and an entertainment center is below it. There’s CDs messily stacked atop, and a wide array of video game cases in the shelves. The walls are decorated with photos of a couple. One is tattooed from the neck down, he’s tall and he’s smiling wide. His arm is wrapped around a shorter man, not as tattooed, but smiling just as wide, his head tucked underneath his lover’s chin. Another shows the shorter one sitting behind a drum set while his boyfriend playfully pretends to bite one of the cymbals. The walls are white, the floors wooden. There’s a few pairs of shoes by the door.

It’s the living room of a modern couple. Almost a picture perfect capture in time, of a life before it all fell apart. You can almost see the people who lived here, yelling the lyrics of a song playing through the speakers, banging their heads and laughing. But all it takes is a closer inspection down the hall, and the room’s temperature drops. The cozy untouched living room feels like the outskirts of a murder scene.

There’s black ink smeared and spattered on the floors like something was dragging itself across it. It’s in pools at some points, the trail can’t seem to stay in a straight line. It veers to the left against a wall, and the ink has soaked itself into the walls, pooled down and onto the wooden tiles, seeping through every crack. Black handprints drag themselves along. Despite the knowledge that it’s been years since whatever happened here occurred, the ink is still fresh. It is still dripping. It is still wet.

The ink whispers and beckons to you as you walk past it. Your peripheral vision blurs, but you can see the way it attempts to reach out to you, to grab you and pull you closer. The insistent persuasion that they chant, that no one will ever love you or understand you like they do. That there’s nothing left for you here. Don’t you feel the walls caving in? It’s over. Fighting is only delaying the inevitable, so why make the attempt at all? Why search for a way to free these souls, when they’re just fine as they are? Join them. Join them.

Stop listening to them. Keep going. You know what happened to those people, and what will happen to you. You have to keep moving. It’s not over.

You move swiftly to the bedroom in hopes of a more pleasant scene. It is the exact opposite. The walls creak and moan as if something is still begging for help. The ink has seeped into the comforter of the bed, upon closer inspection there seems to be blood as well. On the floor by the bed is a large kitchen knife, yet there is no blood nor ink on it. It shines as if freshly cleaned, or never used at all.

This has to be the place the [ infected man ] told you to go. It was rare for those taken by the ink to have a piece of themselves intact. Though the growls and the urge to kill, he had begged you to find his home. To find what he lost. You know well that if you can find it, there is a chance to save the man from being consumed all over again. There’s still hope in the form of something, it just has to be here. 

On the bed in the midst of the mess, you find something. There’s dried blood and black ink spattered on the surface, and a page is sticking out. It’s a journal, the faded letters of the name [ NICK ] are on it. It’s a surprise that this hasn’t been lost.

There is nothing else here. You stopped having a choice a long time ago. You have to keep going.

You have obtained [ Nick’s journal ]. Only the last page is readable, the rest appear to be lost. 

Something is wrong with Noah.

There was an emergency alert three days ago. It interrupted us during recording, it flashed on our computer screens, our phones, anywhere it could reach. It said something about ink. Black ink. We had to stay away from it, but they didn’t tell us why. We didn’t know what to do after that, so we went home. We locked the doors and closed the windows as the sirens blared.

Nicholas called us that night, he was scared. At first we understood and attempted to empathize thinking it was the uncertainty of the situation, but he just wouldn’t calm down. Noah and I were trying to talk him down but it wasn’t getting through to him. He said there were whispers in his house, but we didn’t hear anything through the receiver.

It was just him, and the longer the call went on, the panic and fear began to turn into… nothing. The way the emotion drained from his voice, the way we watched through that iPhone screen as he stared off into space. At some point, he wouldn’t respond to a word I said. He just kept talking to Noah. He would only talk to Noah.

Still, it felt optimistic, and I didn’t take any offense. I’d seen Noah get emotionally drained like that before after an episode. They’re best friends, so I figured I’d step out for a minute to let them talk in private. I returned two minutes later when I heard Noah yelling his name. The call had ended, and Noah seemed shaken by something. He was just holding the phone, so hard his hands were shaking.

He wouldn’t tell me what it was. I wish he had. Whatever he saw… maybe that’s what caused this.

Last night, he was so distant. That wasn’t weird, sometimes he had his moments. But it wasn’t like he was taking space, he would be in the room with me. But he’d always be looking somewhere else. I tried to ask him what he was looking at. He looked at me, and he smiled. It was so… defeated?

“I’m fine, Nick. I’ll get over it.” He said. I still don’t know what he was trying to get over. 

We went to bed together, and he held me like always. But his touch was cold, he was shivering. The blankets weren’t helping, my body wasn’t helping. His eyes stared at the corner of the room until they finally closed. 

It’s 10AM. I just woke up. Noah is not in bed next to me. But I think I can hear him breathing. It sounds like groaning. I’m going to get to the bottom of this. This has to stop.

Your reality shifts as the words of the journal come to life. They envelop you like a blanket at first, and then tighten like vines of thorns. It gets tighter, and tighter, until you swear your eyes may bulge and fall out of your skull. Maybe that would be an easier fate than this. You can only watch. Just as you always do.

Nick sighed as he tossed the journal haphazardly onto the bed, using his hands to stand up from the mattress. Ever since the emergency alert, it had been getting harder to wake up. Normally he didn’t feel so weighed down and unmotivated. It was steadily getting worse the more unnerving the conditions around him had become. 

After the ending of that call with Nicholas three days ago, he had been unreachable. Noah had attempted to call him, but the phone wouldn’t ring. It would go automatically to voicemail, but he insisted that his best friend’s voicemail didn’t sound ‘right’ anymore. Nick took his word for it but didn’t quite understand what he was talking about. He’d even listened to it himself; it was the same as always, announcing that neither him nor his cats could answer the phone.

Then there was the general outdoors. He’d taken a walk to clear his head; watching Noah stare blankly at the corner of the room for several hours didn’t make his own paranoia better. Yet neither did their usual neighborhood. Dark clouds and thick fog permeated the air. There was no sign of the sun, and he found himself lucky he knew the layout of the neighborhood well or he would have gotten lost. But outside it was so… quiet. There were no cars driving by, no distant sounds of children laughing or dogs barking like he was used to hearing across the street, it was an uncomfortable nothing. 

Even he found it remarkable how levelheaded he was trying to be about all of this. Nicholas had vanished, Jolly had said he was going to go check on him but had never called or texted back with any updates. Noah was looking worse by the hour in a way that Nick couldn’t even begin to understand. Everything felt like it was crumbling, but it had to pass eventually, right?

The only thing that mattered in the moment was Noah. That was who he was searching for. And the further he moved down the hall of their single story home, the louder his boyfriend’s breathing got. It led him in front of the bathroom door, which was closed, yet there was no visible light underneath the door.

Upon closer inspection, Noah’s breathing sounded off, almost like he was desperately trying to get air into his lungs. Not like a panic attack; like something was grabbing his throat and squeezing. 

“Noah?” Nick knocked on the door with his knuckle. “You okay in there? Can I come in?”

The breathing stopped, and it all went silent. Nick couldn’t hear any breaths besides his own.

“I’m fine, Nick. I’ll get over it.” Noah speaks from the other side of the door. Normally this would be a ‘okay, if he insists’ kind of response, but this was uncomfortable. Nick remembered that his boyfriend had said exactly this, word for word, in the same cadence last night. As if someone was playing a tape recorder of his words, pressing play whenever convenient. 

“Babe, can you just let me come in please?” He spoke again after a few beats, a mix of irritation and concern in his tone. When he got silence in response, he began to move his hand toward the doorknob to let himself in. But before his hand even touched the knob, Noah spoke up again.

“You don’t need to do that.” The sentence made Nick jump, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked between his hand not even on the doorknob and the door itself. Noah was in that bathroom with the door shut and the lights off. How did he know he was about to try to open it? Better yet, why had Noah spoken to him like that? 

His voice was like gravel underneath one’s feet, or like the sound of the garbage barrel being dragged up the parking lot into the garage after trash day. Hoarse as if he’d really been choking on something, or had been screaming for hours. It was almost guttural, teetering the knife’s edge of familiar and foreign, like the powerful vocals Noah would usually save for the stage. Yet there was just something off about it - something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He felt uncomfortable, yet drawn in like a moth to a flame. Was that the genuine concern for his lover, or was there a force unbeknownst to him brushing against his skin, mere inches away from grabbing him and pulling him in?

“Look,” Nick started, his mouth dry and his voice thick. “If I did something wrong, let’s talk it out, okay? You’ve been acting weird since this ink thing started. We need each other now more than ever, so if you’re upset-”

“Upset?” Noah’s chuckle could only be described as delirious. Nick wasn’t sure why that made him feel so nauseous. “I feel great.”

As the chuckle descended into more suffocating gasps and gagging coughs, the drummer had his mind made up. Something was wrong, and he needed to get to the bottom of it. He sighed in frustration, his hand grabbing the knob of the door. The metal was ice cold, enough to make him pull his hand back in surprise. 

The door opened anyway.

It creaked open slowly, the familiar tattooed fingers of Noah’s hand wrapping around the wooden door as he peeked out. Nick’s blood ran cold when he looked up and saw a pair of glowing white eyes staring at him. They flitted about, each movement leaving a distant trail of light in its wake. There was no emotion within them, but a newfound nagging voice in his head was telling him that whatever he was looking at needed to feed.

The voice in Nick’s mind repeated it over and over as every little sound in the house amplified into his ears. The buzz of the heating system droned on like unpleasant white noise, fading in and out while the walls groaned at him. If he listened intently enough, it sounded like humans trapped within the insulation, rotting away like corpses never discovered. The ticking of the clock in the living room sounded more like someone hitting a nail with a hammer, louder and louder with each tick. Tick. Tick.

The wheezing of whatever was in that bathroom as it struggled to breathe was all he needed for the adrenaline to enter his veins. He moved back step by step, unable to pull his gaze away from the white slits staring back at him. The only time he looked away was when he broke out into a run, his body clumsily hitting the wall of the hallway as he moved. He didn’t dare look back to see if it was following him.

Nick’s hands gripped the kitchen counter so hard his knuckles were turning white. His ears were ringing yet the sound was just like the blaring sirens on day one. He couldn’t seem to focus on any individual sound.

Besides the whispers in his ears, that is. That voice in his head wouldn’t seem to go away, and it had brought friends. What started as a warning of the hungry creature with Noah’s voice had turned into phrases that sounded so sweet. Maybe the whispers in his ears, the tiny gusts of air tickling his skin were a sign.

“He only wants to feed. Is that so wrong? You’d be cruel to deprive him. Is this who you truly are? And you question what he has become.”

“I know a place where you won’t have to worry about him anymore. If you just let me in.”

“You never had anything, and you still have nothing. But if you trust me, you can have it all.”

“I can smell it. It smells so nice. And we are growing stronger thanks to you.”

“Fighting isn’t necessary. If you feed him, you’ll never have to fight again.”

“Being enough for him was never an option. Follow me, and you’ll become everything.”

Nick brought a hand to his head, rubbing his face as he shook the thoughts off. What had gotten into him? These voices weren’t sweet at all, these whispers were only making him more anxious. Where had they come from? He’d never heard something like this before.

Then it dawned on him, and his hand dropped back to the countertop. Was this what Nicholas was talking about? Those whispers neither he or Noah had been able to hear. Were they here all along?

He wasted no time rushing to the knife rack, grabbing the biggest one he could find. Whatever was in these four walls with him would not take him so easily. Not without a fight. It had taken Noah, and he had a feeling it had taken Nicholas too. 

Then came the sound. Footsteps, between stumbling and prolonged dragging against the floors. The kind of scraping noise that would come from pushing a chair in, except more… wet. It’s a nauseating sound, squelching that was getting louder and louder by the second. Nick brought a hand to his stomach, taking a few shaking breaths so he wouldn’t vomit from the noise alone.

The smell wasn’t helping either. It smelled like something had died and begun to decay, mixed with the familiar smell of fire and chemicals. Nick swallowed hard, white knuckling the knife in his hand and making the first steps away from the source of the sound. He didn’t get very far.

The moment his back turned, the air felt colder. The staggered breaths of Noah had returned, only a few feet away. The squelching was nearby, too close for comfort. The whispering in Nick’s ears had begun to sound like his boyfriend’s voice, repeating like a broken record. Turn around, Nick. Don’t be ungrateful. Don’t you love me? 

Unable to resist the incessant whispers, the drummer turned around. His face paled at what was staring back at him.

Despite the reassurance to himself that whatever had been in that bathroom was not Noah, there was no room for doubt now. What he was looking at was Noah. A fucked up, amalgamated Noah.

What had once been beautiful brown eyes he could’ve gotten lost in forever were glazed over with a milky sheen, and those haunting white pupils were still staring him down, flickering back and forth with instability. His entire left arm was coated in black liquid, dripping from his fingers- no, claws, onto the floorboards. Drip. Drip. Drip. Like a leaky ceiling. 

One side of Noah’s face had fallen victim to the ink already. Black veins traveled up his cheek, past his eye, and branched out like a blossoming tree. They decorated his already tattooed neck, like it had been submerged in black paint, spreading like a virus along his skin in jagged patterns. Harsher marks from the corner of his lips to his ear had spouted sharp teeth, which moved in time with each open mouthed breath he took. 

The black ink had claimed his torso almost in entirety, as if he were an unfinished piece of art. Like the parts of his body were hollow shadows that had never been there in the first place. Those same branch-like parts grew out of his chest and tangled around him like vines. Ink ran down his legs and Nick could only watch as it continued to spread.

“Noah…” Nick breathed out his name, “what the fuck. What the fuck!” There was no keeping calm now, holding the knife out in front of him defensively. No recognition flashed in those eyes in response, but if there had been any, it wasn’t like he was looking. If he stared into those white dots too long, he was certain he’d throw up. The stench had only gotten worse and didn’t help the sick feeling.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry, hit something, beg for Noah to pull it together. This couldn’t be the man he fell in love with, and this had to be a sick fucking nightmare. A horrific dream that he needed to wake up from. 

There was no waking up. This was real life. Noah was turning into something beyond humanity. The warnings of the ink, Nicholas’ strange behavior, Noah’s withdrawn nature… It all led up to this. Whatever this was.

So he ran. He didn’t have many places to go, dashing in and out of different rooms in the house, the squelching following him at every turn. The stumbling footsteps of whatever remained of Noah, combined with the low groans and growls that tumbled from his dripping lips. 

Nick nearly slipped from the ink as he ran into the master bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. His chest was burning, breaths heavy and uneven, back against the door as he attempted to form a plan. His eyes fell on his own reflection in the mirror, hoping that a familiar presence, even if it was his own, would help him regain his composure.

“You’re feeding us so nicely, Nick.” The whispers tickled his ears again, making him stiffen. ”You were made for this life. All that’s left is to give in.”

“Get it together, Nick. Come on.” He attempted to ignore it, leaning in closer to the mirror to give himself a pep talk. “Whatever’s happening, have to keep it together. You’re the man. You’re so much braver than this, get it the fuck together.” 

”Look at yourself. You don’t even believe in your own words. You don’t even believe in yourself anymore.” The whispers in his ears droned on, the words sharp enough to make Nick growl and run a hand through his brown hair. ”Giving up is so easy. Noah did.”

“Fucker!” He snarled, shaking his head. “What the fuck did you do to him? What did you do?”

”He chose this. He’s so much happier now. It’s not so bad. We gave him something you couldn’t.”

“What-”

”Escape. You can find the escape, too. You will never have to go without him again.”

Nick stared back into his own eyes as a black clawed hand slowly wrapped around his shoulder. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, shaking his head. When they reopened, it was gone, like it had never existed in the first place. 

For now, it was quiet. As quiet as it could be, given the squelch he could still hear far off into the house and the groan of the walls. His chest felt like it was being stepped on, like any more weight would crush his ribs and decimate his heart. He needed to get out of here and find help for Noah.

He tore his gaze away from the glass, wasting no time getting changed into something warmer. The red beanie the two of them shared back and forth sat atop Noah’s dresser. He grabbed it without question and pulled it onto his head. Usually the feeling of it on his head would put him at ease, but it did little to soothe the anxiety this time. He could hear himself breathing, panting like an animal, and it was like he couldn’t even control it anymore. Every attempt at a deep breath failed. 

Everything was falling apart. He couldn’t breathe right, couldn’t think straight, couldn’t figure out how to save Noah from whatever the fuck had sunk its teeth into him. He had no one to call for help but he couldn’t stay here. That thing was hungry, and it wanted him next. The thought of the razor sharp teeth crawling across Noah’s face biting into his flesh and eating him alive made him dry heave.

He pulled his hoodie over his head, picking the knife back up from where he’d set it down on the dresser. Just in case he’d have to use it, though he didn’t want to, not on Noah. God, never on Noah. His tired gaze fell back on his own reflection.

Noah was standing behind him. Their eyes locked in the reflection, and Nick stood paralyzed in horror. That didn’t make sense. The door had been locked. The last time he’d heard the sound of Noah’s movements, it had been in a completely different room. How did he get in here? 

Better yet, was that door still locked? Was he trapped in here?

“Why are you running from me, Nick?” Noah asked, tilting his head so far to one side that his neck should’ve snapped. His voice was distorted, echoing off the walls, a sense of sickening laughter in his tone. “Don’t you love me? I’ve been doing so well, haven’t I? Yet here you are, pushing me away.”

“Noah, you’re not yourself. Stop.” Nick’s voice trembled, “something is wrong and I’m going to get help.” Even with such certainty in his words, he couldn’t bring himself to move.

“You can never let me be happy, can you? Don’t you see? I’ve never felt more alive! Nicholas had said I’d be free, and I am. I’m so free.” Noah lifted his deformed hand to rest on Nick’s shoulder, the claws pricking his skin but not quite piercing the flesh. A silent threat, perhaps.

“Freedom? You call that shit freedom? Nicholas is gone, Jolly’s nowhere to be found, I will not fucking lose you to this.” He lifted his shoulder to shrug his grasp off, but it remained, unfazed by the action. The ink was warm, it was seeping through the fabric of his clothes, it made him feel filthy.

“You really don’t want me to be happy then. You disgust me. So much for the plans we made, the promises! I was right to do this. I was right to join them. It was just as they said.” Noah laughed, the sound a delirious cackle, the talons finally stabbing into his lover’s skin.

“FUCK! Noah, stop! Stop fucking listening to them!” Nick acted on reflex, using the elbow of his other arm to knock Noah off and away from him. It had been enough to get him free, the amalgamation of his boyfriend stumbling backwards. Ignoring the pain in his shoulder, the warmth of blood likely mixed with that disgusting slime trickling down his arm, he spun around, once again holding the knife defensively.

Yet when he looked behind him, Noah wasn’t there. His vision was beginning to blur and spin out of control, his body swaying as the ringing in his ears kicked up again. Was he hallucinating all of this? He couldn’t be, he could feel the claw marks in his arm, he could still hear Noah’s voice in his head, the whispers encouraging him to succumb to the same fate he had.

He was too disoriented to have registered the presence behind him before a hand was in his hair, gripping so hard he could feel strands being pulled out of his scalp. The other was around his throat, gravelly words growled into his ear.

“Don’t you hear it, Nick? They’re in your head too, right? Listen to them.”

“Noah, let go-”

”Fucking listen to them, Nick.” The sharpness was like a verbal slap to the face. Nick grimaced in response.

He wasn’t sure why he was actually listening to Noah, but here he was. The whispers seemed to be getting louder, and what had started as innocuous beckoning to give in had turned into cruel demands, haunting screams and venomous taunts. Again, and again, feed. Feed. He needs to feed. Feed. Feed. Life would be better if he gave in. Gave in. Gave in. There was nothing, he had nothing, he was nothing. But if he succumbed, he could have everything.

Anything. Everything. Always. Forever. Feed. Feed. Feed. Give in.

Nick struggled against the death grips Noah had him in, tears burning in the corners of his eyes, teeth gritted together. The hand around his neck, squeezing, tighter and tighter until the corners of his vision were starting to blur. Only then did he find himself dropped onto the floor beside the bed, the knife falling from his hand and sliding away from his reach. On his hands and knees, he coughed and gasped for air, holding his ink-soaked neck in hopes it would help him get oxygen into his lungs faster.

Then the scent entered his nose again, that rotting smell, and he couldn’t hold back the sickness anymore. He was retching onto the floor, coughing and hacking. It was only after he had emptied his stomach that he noticed that something was off about what exactly had just left his body.

He brought a hand to his lips, staring down at what was spilling from them in a stream. Looking down at his fingers, he opened and closed them as the liquid dripped between them and onto the floor.

It’s all black. Metallic tasting black ink, the same disgusting liquid that was pouring from Noah’s body, that had stained the floors, that had seeped into his clothing. 

”Afraid, just as you should be. It’s our favorite. Don’t you want to feed us, Nick? Feed him. You pathetic wretch, look into the eyes of the one that consumes you. Mind, body, soul.”

The familiar touch of Noah’s hand caressed his cheek, his head lifting to look up at him. The smile being offered to him felt like a warm blanket on his despair, if only for a moment. He didn’t bother resisting the urge to lean into his touch, even if it wasn’t the same. 

“Come on, Nick.” Noah whispered, stroking his lover’s cheek with a faux fondness.

“Noah… please…” In a last ditch effort, he still begged to be spared, to be let go. If he just had a little time, surely he could find help. He could get up and fight the fog and the eerie silence and come back with something that could fix this. Fix him.

Oh, who was he kidding? He’d already failed. Noah had been consumed before his eyes, and now he would be too. There was no hope now, maybe there never had been at all. Help didn’t exist, and he had become a disgusting creature, too blind to have seen the truth. Noah looked so happy.

“...Where are we going, Noah?” After a minute, Nick had abandoned the previous plea, his gaze softening against his better judgement. He didn’t flinch or recoil as Noah leaned closer, as that smile grew wider. Wider. Wider. Razorblade teeth exposed, no joy in those haunting white circles staring back at him. 

“Paradise.”

The last thing Nick remembered was the way Noah pulled him in for a kiss with aggression and hunger, before his mind shut off in entirety.

What would he need his mind for anyway? He was going to paradise. Him and Noah, never needing to fight or worry about losing everything again.

Blinded by hunger and fueled by fear. 

Noah nowhere to be found.

You crumble to the floor, gasping and coughing violently as you are finally released. By this point, you’d seen so many stories, so many vivid recollections of how hundreds of thousands of people had been seemingly lost to the possessions. Yet this one felt different, there was something in this particular tale that hadn’t existed in all the other Phobius cases you’d seen.

The humanity of it all. In more recent cases, Phobi hardly said a word. It was a tactic, to silence their victims so they wouldn’t tell a soul of their affliction. Or the pressure to hide it altogether, do whatever it takes even if it meant killing someone to keep the secret safe. Yet here, it was so… out in the open. There’d been no effort to hide a thing, which meant that the speculation from Vessel had been true. 

These men had to be among the first. Maybe not the first ever, but this journal held the only documentation or record of when the outbreak had begun. The [ infected man ] wasn’t just any poor possessed soul; that was Nick. The first victim of possession by another host; as far as anyone had known prior to this it had mostly been ingestion or contact with the ink itself. This was proof that some of the Phobi now… they could be saved.

When Nick had begged you to find “home”, you’d assumed he meant this house. But seeing that, there was a lack of attachment to the place itself. Home wasn’t a place, he wasn’t looking for his house.

Home is a person. Home is Noah, who he had been separated from immediately upon possession. The key to potentially rescuing Nick was in the very man who had infected him. You didn’t have to go anywhere else to find that home, too.

You’d felt eyes on you since you got here. And when you set down the journal, a figure rises from the ink, growling and snarling at you. Tiny white eyes that don’t stay in one place, teeth sticking out of its face, but unlike what you’d just seen, there was no humanity, no signs of a person’s face or defining features. A slimy silhouette staring through you, teeth bared, ready to lunge at you.

Noah had been trapped in this home for at least six years. Stuck roaming the halls, the very place he and his lover once lived. The last place he’d seen Nick before he’d feasted on his fear and turned him into the very beast he’d become. Noah was still here, haunted by his own actions, hungry and alone.

This is the same song and dance, but you find yourself nervous anyhow. Noah watches you like a predator stalking its next meal as you step further and further away from him. You dig into your bag and take out the red beanie that had been entrusted to you. This is your one chance to put Vessel’s theory to the test. One chance to truly free Nick without having to use violence to eradicate him.

Maybe you’d even be able to save Noah. Whoever Noah was, whatever caused him the infection to spread at such an abnormally rapid rate, there still had to be a sliver of hope. Hope that you could be holding in your hands.

You hold it up so he can see it, gripping it firmly in your hands. The fabric is soft, it’s a miracle that it was able to be recovered and cleaned. There’s this feeling that you are holding onto a physical manifestation of years of history between a pair of lovers. The amalgamation’s gaze leaves you for once and locks onto the beanie, looking at it without emotion. Not anything you could see, anyway.

And you brace for impact as Noah charges towards you at full speed.

[lilgarbitch]

hi love how are youuu? first of, so in love your works!! second of, im in my ruffilo girl era ☝🥵 i was thinking,, can you do one where we go on a concert date and all that lovie dovie pls??? (totally not influenced by his last ig story)

Nearer My God

Pairing: Nicholas Ruffilo x Reader

CW: debilitating fluff. Friends going on their first date and it going so well that you’re gonna start kicking your feet and giggling. I just love ‘little dialogue lots of body language’ stories.

Word Count: 2.7k

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for this. This has to be my favorite request I’ve ever seen. You have no idea how quickly I began writing when I read it. And Nick couldn’t have picked a better band to have seen last night. And if he hadn’t convinced you enough, I highly recommend checking out Foxing, especially while reading this.

You’re running around your apartment, making sure you had everything you needed. You wanted to leave this anxiety at home, so the last thing you wanted was to end up forgetting something and stressing about it later. Checking your purse for the umpteenth time, you let out a sigh, hoping to exhale the fire from your nerves. 

You walk back into your bedroom and take one last peek at your appearance. You lean towards your vanity mirror, checking that you hadn’t smudged your makeup yet, when you hear a knock at your front door. 

With a gasp, you check your phone and realize that it was 6pm already. You take one last glance at yourself, smoothing out your outfit and running through your mental list of everything you needed before you finally made your way to your front door. With one last deep breath, you open it.

As you glanced at the adorable tatted boy across the threshold, you couldn’t help but match his nervous but excited smile.

“Hi,” you say, but it comes out a whisper.

“Hi,” he replies with a soft chuckle, “You almost ready?” 

You give him a nod and step away from the door, leaving it open for him to let himself in. You try your best not to run, as you don’t want to embarrass yourself with your excitement and nerves, but you rush your way through your apartment, grabbing your purse and shoes and turning off any lights or hair styling appliances. Once your shoes were on and you knew nothing would burn your house down while you were gone, you make your way to Nick, who was still standing at your door. He looked tense and in thought, but when his eyes landed on you walking back to him, his shoulders relaxed and a smile reformed on his face. 

You let him know that you were ready, so he gestures you out the front door before following. You quickly lock your door and join him on his stroll to his car. As he made his way closer to the car, he moved around it and walked towards the passenger side, opening the door for you with a smile. You let out a soft giggle and a ‘Thank you’ as you slide your way into the seat.

“You look beautiful, by the way,” he says with a grin, leaning down in the doorway of the car to meet your eyes. 

“Oh…thank you,” you say, sounding a little sheepish as a blush formed on your cheeks at his unexpected chivalry. 

He just chuckled and closed the door before making his way around the car and sliding into the driver’s seat. 

It wasn’t a far drive to the venue, thankfully, but you couldn’t help but feel your heart race at the tension in the car. Soft music played on the radio and he gently patted his thumbs against the steering wheel as he drove. All you could do was try and leave your nerves behind, wanting to accept that this wasn’t a night to worry about impressions. He already asked you on a date. Even though it was to see one of his favorite bands, it was still a date, and it still proved that he was interested. If anything, bringing you to see music he enjoyed was more intimate than simply going out to dinner. 

“So, have you heard of Foxing before?” he asked, pulling you out of your thoughts. 

“Yeah,” you answered, “You mentioned them a while back, so I gave them a listen and really enjoyed their music, so I’m happy to finally be hearing them live.” 

He glanced at you for a moment before turning back to the road with a smile forming on his face.

“I got you into them?” he asked, sounding almost proud of himself, but there was a hint of something else in his voice. Like a sense of adoration at the thought of you giving his interests a chance.

“Yeah. I love checking out the bands you talk about, even if it’s in passing,” you reply, almost embarrassed to admit that you paid more attention to the things he talked about than he thought you did. 

A wide smile formed on his face, one that he couldn’t fight back as he felt a sense of warmth in his chest. You went out of your way to try to enjoy the things he did, and he could’ve fallen in love right then and there just hearing that. 

The ride fell into a silence once again, this time with a little more serene vibe as you made your way to the venue with smiles on your faces.

Once the car came to a stop, Nick quickly moved to open the car door for you again before you could even get your hand on the handle, causing you to laugh. 

You two made your way into the venue and found a good spot to stand, not too close to the center of the crowd, but where you could still see the stage perfectly. Nick let you stand in front of him to both make sure that you could see, and to keep an eye on the crowd around you.

The band eventually took the stage, causing the crowd to cheer. ‘Secret History’ began playing and you took in Conor’s vocals, letting yourself relax into the melody before you knew you had to brace yourself for the energy to pick up. 

It was a quick change, but thankfully you knew the song well, so you were expecting it. The music got louder and the crowd got crazier. You couldn’t help but chuckle as you watch everyone fit into their element, letting themselves enjoy the music in their own way. 

Nick’s hands moved to rest on your hips in an almost protective manner, not wanting you to move too far and slip into the pit of people. You relaxed and let yourself take in the music, knowing you had someone protecting you as the music switched back and forth between peaceful melodies and harsh and heavy beats. 

As ‘Spit’ began playing, you felt Nick’s body finally relax behind yours, letting him take in the music and lyrics. He still had a hold on your waist, but his arms slacked and his body swayed gently as the music poured through the speakers. 

Would you hold my head in your lap

Soak the fever in cold rags

His grip on your waist tightened. Not in a tense manner, but almost like his mind subconsciously wanted to hold onto you tighter. 

Cause tonight you have my soul

The crosses have jumped off the wall

And all of this surrounding us is distraction 

Cemented in the moment, frozen in resin

His fingers moved against your hips, almost as if he was fidgeting, deep in thought and not realizing. You gently pressed your back against his chest, hoping the feeling would soothe him and bring him back. As you did, you felt his chest rise and fall, like he took a deep breath. He relaxed once again, feeling the warmth of your back pressed right above his heart, and rested his chin on top of your head. 

‘Greyhound’ was next, and soon the two of you swayed together to the music. You closed your eyes and focused on the comfort around you. His hands on your hips, chin on your head, the gentle rocking of your bodies, and the melodies flowing through the room. You didn’t know if it was the vibrations of the bass, or the feelings ruminating inside of you, but you could feel something in your chest.

“You doing okay?” He asked, bringing his face to the side of yours to speak in your ear, making sure you could hear him over the noise. You turned your head and looked up at him, pausing for a moment when you realized how close your faces were, before nodding with a warm smile.

He mirrored your smile with one that made your eyes flicker to how close his lips were. He soothingly rubbed his thumb against your hip as he stood back up, pulling you back to lean against his chest as he rested his chin on your head once again.

The music continued and the band spoke a few words to the crowd, getting cheers from the room. But Nick and you just stayed there, silently watching as he held you close. 

Your mind was racing. You had a crush on Nick for the longest time, and now you were on your first date with him and were enjoying it more than you’d ever imagined. You thought about when he finally asked you out, and how much it shocked you to find out he felt the same. How you always thought you’d have to deal with staying friends, terrified to say anything in fear that you’d ruin the friendship. But here you were, pressed close to him while you listened to a band both of you loved. And now, the only thing on your mind was how badly you wanted to kiss him.

You got pulled from your thoughts when ‘The Medic’ started, when you felt his chin moving and a rumble in his chest against your back, signaling that he was singing along. A smile formed on your face at the added comfort. The sweet act of him opening up as he let the lyrics flow from his lips.

She says you always smell like cigarettes 

And there’s always whiskey on your breath

But you’re the best that I can do

And I, I think I love you

Now if you want me to slow down

Just tell me to slow down

You join in, softly singing along with him.

Now if you want me to slow down

Just tell me to slow down

Cause I, I, I, I want, want, want to be loved

Yes, I, I, I, I want, want, want to be loved

You feel his hands subconsciously tighten their grip on your hips as he notices. He pulls you closer and slides his arms around you, holding you flush to him by your waist as you both continue to sing along. 

You both stayed like that, him having you in an almost possessive hold against him. Even when louder songs play and the crowd gets rowdier, you two just stood there, enjoying the closeness more than the music. 

You began to realize that he chose a Foxing concert for a reason. He wanted you to listen to the lyrics with him close to you. As the set continued and you truly took in the words Conor sang, you understood that this was Nick’s way of truly opening up, of letting you into his heart. The lyrics turned into a live reading of his everyday thoughts and his feelings for you. 

So when they started playing ‘Nearer My God’ and you felt his head drop to your shoulder as he began to sing along, your heart raced faster than before. 

I want it all

I’ll watch the bridges all burn

And I’ll be your dog

It was quiet compared to the noise around you, but you still heard it. His voice, singing along. He held you tighter, burying his face into your neck as he continued.

I’d be a darling for you

Or anyone who wants me at all

Does anybody want me at all?

You couldn’t react. You didn’t know how. All you could do was listen to him voice his deepest feelings as the song played. It wasn’t just his need for you. It was his need for comfort. For happiness. He was physically and metaphorically leaning on you for support as he spoke his deepest emotions out into the world through their lyrics. Your heart simultaneously ached and swelled at the vulnerability he was showing you for the first time. His heart opening to finally let you in. To be his support. To love him. To make him feel whole again.

As the song was coming to an end, you reached your hand up and gently laced your fingers into his hair, soothingly running them against his scalp. You wanted to be his comfort. To be the one he could come to. The one who could make him feel loved again. And instead of saying it out loud, you chose to show him. 

As he melted into your touch, you gently turned and leaned to the side, causing his face to pull away from your neck. Your eyes met, his baring a mix of nervousness and hope, while yours just showed pure love and adoration. 

You kept your gaze locked with his for a few moments, taking in how close he was to you and the peace you felt having him here. He let out a shaky breath as you glanced down at his lips, involuntarily licking yours as you used your hold on his hair to bring the two of you closer. 

The moment your lips met, it was as if time stopped and the two of you melted into one. He used his hands on your hips to slowly spin you around until your chest was pressed against his. He brought a hand up to cup your cheek and wrapped the other around your waist, holding your body flush to his. 

It was a gentle, sweet kiss, his lips dancing with yours, but there was still passion behind it. As if it was your way of baring your souls to each other, with a need for it to never end. You wrapped your arms around his neck and brought a hand up to the back of his head, holding his face to yours like you’d never let him go.

Before you knew it, he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours, letting both of you catch your breath and take everything in. Your eyes were still closed as you held his head to yours and he held your body to his. ‘Hall of Frozen Heads’ flowed through the air around you. This was the peace you searched for your whole life.

You couldn’t hold it back. A chuckle fell from your lips, causing one to rumble in his chest against yours. You finally opened your eyes and looked up to meet his. The corners of his eyes were crinkled from the smile on his face, one that you realized mirrored yours. 

The lights of the venue came back on, bringing the two of you back to reality. You pulled apart and watched as the crowd began to file out, remembering that you too had to leave. 

Taking your hand in his, he managed to slip both of you through the crowd, almost in a hurry to get back to the car. You couldn’t help but giggle as he pulled you along with such dedication. 

Once outside, he wrapped an arm over your shoulder as you made your way back to the car, leaning his head on yours as if he couldn’t be close enough to you in this moment. 

He paused once you made it to the passenger side of his car, before turning you to face him. He looked down at you with a smile, bringing a hand up to cup the side of your head. 

“Thank you for letting me bring you. I don’t think I’ve ever had a better time at a concert,” he said in a soft, sincere voice.

“Not even your own?” you asked, giggling. He let out a chuckle and shook his head. 

“Not even close,” he said in an amused but gentle voice.

“Well, thank you for bringing me. Definitely one of my top 10 concert experiences,” you joked with a teasing smile. He playfully raised an eyebrow.

“Top 10?” he asked, leaning closer with a humored smile.

“Okay…top 5,” you continued with a playful tone as his lips got closer to yours. 

“How about now?” he asked before meeting your lips again, this time with a more delicate kiss. Both of you were smiling too wide into the kiss that you were giggling when he finally pulled away. 

“Fine. Top 3,” you said with a playful smile, looking up at him. He let out a chuckle and moved to open the passenger door for you.

“Guess I’ll have to find another concert for us to go to,” he said as you slid into the seat. 

“I wouldn’t be opposed,” you replied, making him chuckle more. 

[lilgarbitch]

Nicholas Ruffilo Masterlist

One Shots:

Touch, Torture, and Tattoos

Thots:

Alphabet Head-canons - WIP

Requests:

Nearer My God