#none of the bi-generation stuff made any sense and i hated every second of it <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[claraoswalds]

I'm just... post-bi-generation. Ah, it's more than that.

DOCTOR WHO The Giggle

[sunnys-rewatch-blog]

S1 Wrap Up

Part 2

Moving on to some other notes:

I already said this, but I would have liked to explore LuHanna (Lucas x Hanna; not sure if this is the official name but I'm using it and you can't stop me) or even MoHanna (Mona x Hanna). I do love Haleb and I'm not disappointed that it happened, but I still feel like it could have added something to the story if they'd explored one of those some. It might at least have been cool to see Mona try to come out to Emily as bi. For that matter, it would be nice for these shows not to treat "bi" like a bad word.

Emily does not need so many romantic subplots. I understand that having your only wlw protagonist (*at the moment) come out but never have any love interests wouldn't have felt like representation, but towards the end of S1 she literally has three romantic subplots going on- four if you count the dead girl (mourning Alison, Maya's plotline isn't officially over, Paige, and Samara). Some of the scenes are fun and nice to watch, but by the time Samara's introduced, there's just too much and it's distracting. There's a lot more to being LGBTQ+ than dating. Emily could have started a GSA, and queers crave other queers' friendships. She doesn't need to be in a relationship every second she's in the show to be valid.

That said, if they had made Samara relevant to the rest of the story, that would have been cool. They could have given us confirmation early on that Alison was bi/M-spec and that she had feelings for Emily, and that would make her loss all the more tragic and devastating. Information like that could have given us an Emily Fields meltdown.

In general, I would have liked more tender, humanizing scenes with Alison. They do well at giving us a sense that she was powerful and a bully, they show us that she hurt people- including her own friends- but I wanted to see more of what they liked about her. What it was about her that made them feel like they were part of something special. They have a few scenes, I just want more.

Spencer and Emily have a criminally underutilized dynamic. I would have loved to see their friendship help them both grow as people. Both are highly intelligent and athletic, but Spencer overextends herself to feed the blind ambition she inherited from her family and Emily short-changes herself and passes up opportunities to develop skills in her passion. She didn't even want to take the swim team lead opportunity, which Spencer would have taken in a heartbeat. We don't even see that Spencer finds any joy in what she does, while Emily only does what she's passionate about.

I don't know if it would have been better or worse to have the kids' parents more realistically invested; usually, I hate shows that focus on both kids and their parents because of all the tension they create between those two groups. However, there are a lot of places where the tension could have been avoided or minimized if the adults acted like normal humans. It's kind of disturbing how little they care that Alison was murdered. It's like they knew what happened. At the very least they should have their kids in therapy.

I wish they had started the show in chronological order instead of using these flashbacks to put things in context. There are enough flashbacks in this show to make up their own season.

I also have a small gripe with the legal system in this story working like how an 8-year-old would think it works. I get that it's not a police procedural and I don't want to see the story get bogged down in police technicalities, but they could have at least had their terms right. None of us really want to watch a show where the legal system does it right, we want to watch the main characters figure it out- I get that- but could you just...learn the difference between "suspect" and "person of interest?" A Google search should be sufficient.

I would talk a little more about the ED stuff, but I said so much already. It's really something that needs to be portrayed accurately if you want to claim you're bringing awareness to it; doing it wrong only causes more harm and furthers the stigma. We need more well-informed, culture-shifting representation. Not more of...whatever this is.

Can we stop making "I would love you even if you were fat" synonymous with true love? It's like saying "Wow, 'fat' is worst thing you could possibly be and he would love you even then!!" No, bitch. The bar is in hell. Raise it.

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp These Are Books: the June 2021 Edition

I have read a lot of books this month. That should be stated upfront. Just an absolute metric ton of books. Some real good, some not-so good, some inadvertently hysterical. Also, I made that BINGO board. Because, like, you ever have a total crisis of writing-confidence and ignore that potential freakout and the tendency of your coworkers to miss deadlines by reading every free Amazon sports romance you can find? And several full YA series? In one month? No? My experiences are not universal, I understand. Anyway, there’s thoughts and opinions and spoilers under the cut. Everyone read the Once Upon a Con series, I’m begging you.

READ THIS SERIES! PLEASE! EVERY BOOK WAS SO CUTE! EVERYONE IN EVERY BOOK WAS SO CUTE! THE FANDOM STUFF DID NOT GIVE ME SECOND-HAND EMBARRASSMENT!

Geekerella by Ashley Poston Part romance, part love letter to nerd culture, and all totally adorbs, Geekerella is a fairy tale for anyone who believes in the magic of fandom. Geek girl Elle Wittimer lives and breathes Starfield, the classic sci-fi series she grew up watching with her late father. So when she sees a cosplay contest for a new Starfield movie, she has to enter. The prize? An invitation to the ExcelsiCon Cosplay Ball, and a meet-and-greet with the actor slated to play Federation Prince Carmindor in the reboot. With savings from her gig at the Magic Pumpkin food truck (and her dad’s old costume), Elle’s determined to win…unless her stepsisters get there first. Teen actor Darien Freeman used to live for cons—before he was famous. Now they’re nothing but autographs and awkward meet-and-greets. Playing Carmindor is all he’s ever wanted, but the Starfield fandom has written him off as just another dumb heartthrob. As ExcelsiCon draws near, Darien feels more and more like a fake—until he meets a girl who shows him otherwise. 

The Princess and the Fangirl by Ashley Poston Imogen Lovelace is an ordinary fangirl on an impossible mission: to save her favorite Starfield character, Princess Amara, from being killed off. On the other hand, the actress who plays Amara wouldn’t mind being axed. Jessica Stone doesn’t even like being part of the Starfield franchise—and she’s desperate to leave the intense scrutiny of fandom behind. Though Imogen and Jess have nothing in common, they do look strangely similar to one another—and a case of mistaken identity at ExcelsiCon sets off a chain of events that will change both of their lives. When the script for the Starfield sequel leaks, with all signs pointing to Jess, she and Imogen must trade places to find the person responsible. The deal: Imogen will play Jess at her signings and panels, and Jess will help Imogen’s best friend run their booth. But as these “princesses” race to find the script leaker—in each other’s shoes—they’re up against more than they bargained for. From the darker side of fandom to unexpected crushes, Imogen and Jess must find a way to rescue themselves from their own expectations...and redefine what it means to live happily ever after. 

Bookish and the Beast by Ashley Poston In this third book of the Once Upon a Con series, Rosie Thorne is feeling stuck—on her college application essays, in her small town, and on that mysterious General Sond cosplayer she met at ExcelsiCon. Most of all, she’s stuck in her grief over her mother’s death. Her only solace was her late mother’s library of rare Starfield novels, but even that disappeared when they sold it to pay off hospital bills. On the other hand, Vance Reigns has been Hollywood royalty for as long as he can remember—with all the privilege and scrutiny that entails. When a tabloid scandal catches up to him, he’s forced to hide out somewhere the paparazzi would never expect to find him: Small Town USA. At least there’s a library in the house. Too bad he doesn’t read. When Vance’s and Rosie’s paths collide, sparks do not fly. But as they begrudgingly get to know each other, their careful masks come off—and they may just find that there’s more risk in shutting each other out than in opening their hearts.

— I cannot possibly overstate what an absolute delight this series was. Cute and sweet and adorable. Like rot your teeth sweet with romances that my high-school self would have swooned over. (I would have been so in love with Darien Freeman as a 16 year old, it’s not even funny. Also, I would have been obsessed with Starfield.) Let’s be honest, my current self swooned quite a lot. Reading these books genuinely felt like a love letter to fandom. To the good and bad and trashy parts of it, and it made my heart swell thinking about these fictional kids and the community they found and how much they learned and then they FELL IN LOVE and, like, not to sound like an after-school special, but: THE REP IN THESE BOOKS?!?? HOLY S H I T. So good. So goddamn good. And not, like, shoved to the side. Like, Jess falls in love with a girl. And it gets its swoon-worthy moment as much as anyone else. Plus, bi-librarian dad who wears suspenders??? Sign. Me. Up. Twisting the fairy tales into the stories also worked really well in my opinion. Honestly my only gripe was that Darien found a cell phone number in the white pages, but, like, everything else was a joy. Please read these books. I promise they will make you smile.

IN WHICH I CAN NEVER TURN DOWN A BEAUTY AND THE BEAST ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

Cruel Beauty by Rosamund Hodge Betrothed to the evil ruler of her kingdom, Nyx has always known that her fate was to marry him, kill him, and free her people from his tyranny. But on her seventeenth birthday when she moves into his castle high on the kingdom's mountaintop, nothing is what she expected—particularly her charming and beguiling new husband. Nyx knows she must save her homeland at all costs, yet she can't resist the pull of her sworn enemy—who's gotten in her way by stealing her heart.

— Yo. YO. Everyone in this book was horrible! And it was wonderful! I figured out the twist approximately point two seconds after the potential for a twist was possibly introduced and it did not diminish my enjoyment of this book for one second. I am such a sucker for any Beauty and the Beast AU, but this was way different than anything I’d read before and Nyx was a blood-thirsty terror and I loved her. The magic and the world building was fascinating in that I really did not expect Greek gods and goddess, but it was also a welcome turn in a weird, huh, that’s interesting sort of way. And the banter was a-plus, top tier. Even when they were snarking at each other. Especially when they were snarking at each other. (Still a pretty quick turn from enemies to lovers, but I’m willing to overlook that based almost solely on the snark.) Plus, the castle was fascinating. And there were more twists aside from the main twist, none of which I figured out. All of which I gasped over. The end was like—chef’s kiss, fantastic. I would like a novel-length sequel to tell me how everything worked out.

...BUT THE LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD ONE WASN’T AS GOOD

Crimson Bound by Rosamund Hodge When Rachelle was fifteen she was good—apprenticed to her aunt and in training to protect her village from dark magic. But she was also reckless—straying from the forest path in search of a way to free her world from the threat of eternal darkness. After an illicit meeting goes dreadfully wrong, Rachelle is forced to make a terrible choice that binds her to the very evil she had hoped to defeat.Three years later, Rachelle has given her life to serving the realm, fighting deadly creatures in a vain effort to atone. When the king orders her to guard his son Armand—the man she hates most—Rachelle forces Armand to help her hunt for the legendary sword that might save their world. Together, they navigate the opulent world of the courtly elite, where beauty and power reign and no one can be trusted. And as the two become unexpected allies, they discover far-reaching conspiracies, hidden magic . . . and a love that may be their undoing. Within a palace built on unbelievable wealth and dangerous secrets, can Rachelle discover the truth and stop the fall of endless night?

— As much as I loved Cruel Beauty, I was like ehhhh on this one. Which is part Little Red Riding Hood (although that seems like a stretch, honestly) and part The Girl With No Hands, which is a fairy tale I have literally never heard of before. Rachelle was just—sorta whiny? Which, y’know, she was cursed and had fucked up her entire life, so fair, but also...annoying. I kept reading mostly to try and understand what the FUCK was going on with the magic. I like to consider myself a relatively intelligent person who can understand most YA novels, but this one was tough to keep track of. Like, sure, the imagery of the Dark Forest was cool, but also what is a Gladspring? I’m still not sure I know. Also, this kind of dragged in some places. Lots of patrolling the palace (whining about life) and not enough magic-fighting or establishing any sort of relationship between Rachelle and Armand. Which just sort of happened? Amidst, approximately, twenty-four different twists that were admittedly cool, but also felt like they came out of nowhere. Everything that happened in Cruel Beauty made sense. Most of what happened here felt like it was shoehorned in for shock value.

YOU WANT MORAL AMBIGUITY? BOY HAVE I GOT MORAL AMBIGUITY FOR YOU. IN GODDAMN SPADES.

The Firebird Series by Claudia Gray Marguerite Caine's physicist parents are known for their groundbreaking achievements. Their most astonishing invention, called the Firebird, allows users to jump into multiple universes—and promises to revolutionize science forever. But then Marguerite's father is murdered, and the killer—her parent's handsome, enigmatic assistant Paul— escapes into another dimension before the law can touch him.Marguerite refuses to let the man who destroyed her family go free. So she races after Paul through different universes, always leaping into another version of herself. But she also meets alternate versions of the people she knows—including Paul, whose life entangles with hers in increasingly familiar ways. Before long she begins to question Paul's guilt—as well as her own heart. And soon she discovers the truth behind her father's death is far more sinister than she expected.

— Guys. GUYS. These books, oh my G O D. Little known fact about me, but I am trash for cross-dimensional soulmates. The concept of “we’ll find each other anywhere” is one of my favorites, so I was so psyched about these books. And for awhile that’s what I thought I was going to get out of them. But. BUT! What I actually got was something, not totally different, but not entirely great, either. The problem here was that when anyone used one of the Firebird devices to jump dimensions they TOOK OVER THE BODY THEY JUMPED INTO. So, like, that consciousness got shoved to the side while whatever prime!person just took over. Living that body’s life. In a different dimension. And that’s kinda fucked up, right??? Brings in all sorts of questions about consent and morality and let me tell you, guys, this YA series DID NOT ADDRESS A SINGLE ONE OF THEM. Which is also super fucked up!! So, like, Marguerite is just bouncing around dimensions taking over people’s bodies and lives and leaving this, frankly, trail of destruction in her wake. And as if that wasn’t enough!!! In the second book Paul’s soul gets, like, split and she’s got to round up the pieces through dimensions, meeting all sorts of Pauls who are occasionally kind of shit people and he eventually just, like, CANNOT COPE. Seriously, I could not stop reading these. Partially for the moral ambiguity. Partially because I could not figure out why Paul loved Marguerite. Also, capitalism was the ultimate villain. AS IT SHOULD BE, REALLY.

CREEPY FAE WERE KIND OF CREEPY AND THAT’S NOT BAD, BUT LIKE MAYBE THIS WASN’T A GOOD BOOK?

An Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson Isobel is an artistic prodigy with a dangerous set of clients: the sinister fair folk, immortal creatures who cannot bake bread or put a pen to paper without crumbling to dust. They crave human Craft with a terrible thirst, and Isobel’s paintings are highly prized. But when she receives her first royal patron—Rook, the autumn prince—she makes a terrible mistake. She paints mortal sorrow in his eyes—a weakness that could cost him his life. Furious, Rook spirits her away to his kingdom to stand trial for her crime. But something is seriously wrong in his world, and they are attacked from every side. With Isobel and Rook depending on each other for survival, their alliance blossoms into trust, then love—and that love violates the fair folks’ ruthless laws. Now both of their lives are forfeit, unless Isobel can use her skill as an artist to fight the fairy courts. Because secretly, her Craft represents a threat the fair folk have never faced in all the millennia of their unchanging lives: for the first time, her portraits have the power to make them feel.

— I’ve seen this book mentioned a lot. As good. And it wasn’t not good, but Isobel was pretty goddamn annoying and kind of dumb and a little self-important and I was mostly here for the creepy fae. That was fun. More fae should have antlers and stuff. Everything in this story happened ridiculously fast. I couldn’t believe it was over when it was over.

THE PROSE WAS VERY PRETTY. I’M NOT SURE WHY THE DRAGON HAD TO BE SUCH A MONUMENTAL DICK.

Uprooted  by Naomi Novik Agnieszka loves her valley home, her quiet village, the forests and the bright shining river. But the corrupted Wood stands on the border, full of malevolent power, and its shadow lies over her life. Her people rely on the cold, driven wizard known only as the Dragon to keep its powers at bay. But he demands a terrible price for his help: one young woman handed over to serve him for ten years, a fate almost as terrible as falling to the Wood. The next choosing is fast approaching, and Agnieszka is afraid. She knows—everyone knows—that the Dragon will take Kasia: beautiful, graceful, brave Kasia, all the things Agnieszka isn’t, and her dearest friend in the world. And there is no way to save her. But Agnieszka fears the wrong things. For when the Dragon comes, it is not Kasia he will choose.

— Let me just say first off, that this should have been two books. Everything happened so quickly, I swear I got whiplash. That being said, as a heroine, I liked Agnieszka a lot. She was understandably freaked by everything that happened, but once she kind of settled, she didn’t take The Dragon’s shit and that was good because The Dragon was kind of shitty. This is why it should have been two books. Because everything The Dragon did felt like it needed some kind of explanation. Or at least some sort of reasoning for why he was such a monumental bastard. Which is why I was a little confused that Agnieszka was in love with him? He was such a dick, honestly. The last third or so of this book was the best because Novik really does know how to write action and the magic itself was pretty fascinating. (I wish it went into more depth, but I think I’m spoiled by fic and that’s not actually how the publishing world works.) Kasia might have been the most interesting person in this story. Girl went through it and just became a total badass. I loved her.

MARAUDER FEELINGS! MARAUDER FEELINGS! SO! MANY! MARAUDER! FEELINGS!

The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater All her life, Blue has been warned that she will cause her true love's death. She doesn't believe in true love and never thought this would be a problem, but as her life becomes caught up in the strange and sinister world of the Raven Boys, she's not so sure anymore.

— RICHARD GANSEY, MY BELOVED. What a dweeb. A self-sacrificing, sorta sad dweeb. When he wrapped his jacket around Blue, my heart exploded. I think I spent the last fifteen or so chapters with disconcertingly wide eyes and possibly my hand over my mouth. Still not entirely sure why a Welsh king was in Virginia, but I loved it. Was real glad he was there. As promised by that one book rec list I read months ago, the Marauders vibes of these books were off the charts. It was a weird story with lots of weird things and I hope Mr. Grey gets to be happy one day and that Ronan and Adam make out some more eventually. I think they’ll both feel a lot better if they do. Like, about the world as a whole. Has anyone read the Ronan spinoff series? Should I read the Ronan spinoff series?

OK, THIS WASN’T THAT BAD, ACTUALLY

To Love Jason Thorn by Ella Maise Jason Thorn... My brother's childhood friend. Oh, how stupidly in love with that boy I was. He was the first boy that made me blush, my first official crush. Sounds beautiful so far, right? That excitement that bubbles up inside you, those famous butterflies you feel for the very first time--he was the reason for them all. But, you only get to live in that fairytale world until they crush your hopes and dreams and then stomp on your heart for good measure. And boy did he crush my little heart into pieces. After the stomping part he became the boy I did my best to stay away from--and let me tell you, it was pretty hard to do when he slept in the room right across from mine. When tragedy struck his family and they moved away, I was ready to forget he ever existed. Now he is a movie star, the one who makes women of all ages go into a screaming frenzy, the one who makes everyone swoon with that dimpled smile of his. Do you think that's dreamy? I certainly don't think so. How about me coming face to face with him? Nope still not dreamy. Not when I can't even manage to look him in the eye. Me? I'm Olive, a new writer. Actually, I'm THE writer of the book that inspired the movie he is about to star in on the big screen. As of late, I am also referred to as the oh-so-very-lucky girl who is about to become the wife of Jason Thorn. Maybe you're thinking yet again that this is all so dreamy? Nope, nothing dreamy going on here. Not even close.

— Ignoring the fact that this was almost blatant self-insert, this was a mostly good, occasionally trashy book with brother’s best friend and the one who got away tropes. Which, as we know, are my life’s blood. (Plus, surprise, fake marriage that isn’t really fake?!? Ok. OK!) My only eeek moment was when Olive got super drunk and wanted Jason to like—consummate the marriage and he was like, No Olive, you’re drunk. And then they ended up doing everything except having full-on sex, which felt a little creep and a lot sketch and then it was never mentioned again. Also, Olive needs to find some better friends, God.

EMERSON COD VOICE: HE’S STAAAAAALKING YOU

Marriage For One by Ella Maise Jack and I, we did everything backward. The day he lured me into his office-which was also the first day we met-he proposed. You'd think a guy who looked like him-a bit cold maybe, but still striking and very unattainable-would only ask the love of his life to marry him, right? You'd think he must be madly in love. Nope. It was me he asked. A complete stranger who had never even heard of him. A stranger who had been dumped by her fiancé only weeks before. You'd think I'd laugh in his face, call him insane-and a few other names-then walk away as quickly as possible. Well…I did all those things except the walking away part. It took him only minutes to talk me into a business deal…erm, I mean marriage, and only days for us to officially tie the knot. Happiest day of my life. Magical. Pop the champagne… Not. It was the worst day. Jack Hawthorne was nothing like what I'd imagined for myself. I blamed him for my lapse in judgment. I blamed his eyes, the ocean blue eyes that looked straight into mine unapologetically, and that frown on his face I had no idea I would become so fascinated with in time. It wasn't long after he said I was the biggest mistake of his life that things started to change. No, he still didn't talk much, but anyone can string a few words together. His actions spoke the loudest to me. And day after day my heart started to get a mind of its own.

— Ok, ok, ok, so I enjoyed the Jason Thorn book, right? Was, like, how bad could this other book be? And it wasn’t bad, but it was patently ridiculous. Let me explain what happened. Not entirely sorry for the spoilers. Jack the lawyer sees that Rose is only going to get the space for her coffee shop from her uncle’s will if she marries someone. She WAS engaged, but the guy split. For reasons no one can understand, especially Rose. She’s sad. She’s spent so much money on espresso machines! Enter Jack the lawyer who one random afternoon is like: HEY ROSE, YOU’RE MOSTLY A STRANGER, BUT I ALSO NEED TO GET MARRIED FOR REASONS I’LL ONLY SORTA EXPLAIN, LETS DO THAT. So they do???? And Jack the lawyer continues to be kinda weird and a little shady, but Rose has got the coffee shop and things are going well. Until! She’s got a leaky brain!!! That’s not a joke. Not a typo. Out of goddamn LEFT FIELD, Rose has got some horrible medical condition, so thank God she got married because Jack the lawyer’s got great health insurance. (this is ROMANTIC) and she’s got to have an operation and he stays with her and sleeps in the hospital chair and her coffee shop is somehow still going strong??? On Madison Avenue??? What sit-down coffee shop on Madison Avenue do you guys know that would succeed? None because it’s not downtown. I digress. Anyway, Rose makes a miraculous recovery, she and Jack the lawyer are now almost in love? At least having a shit ton of sex. They’re mostly happily married. Until, part two! The ex-fiance shows up and is like JACK THE LAWYER PAID ME TO BREAK UP WITH YOU. To which Rose is understandably flabbergasted. She confronts Jack the lawyer who fesses that he’s been seriously crushing on her since they met at her uncle’s Christmas party. She doesn’t remember this. He does. BECAUSE HE’S A STALKER. So, he knew about the will stipulation with marriage BACK THEN, which is why he used FIRM RESOURCES to investigate the ex-fiance and found out he was a con man, using Rose with plans to basically steal all her money. This infuriated Jack the lawyer because he thought Rose deserved better and then proceeded to basically con her himself, just in a different way. With marriage! He told her he needed to get married to show he was a family man to make partner. THAT WAS A LIE. He didn’t need it at all. He just—wanted to marry her??? To help her??? What a psycho. She leaves. He continues to lurk outside the coffee shop. They make up. No one mentions the stalking. The end.

I KEEP GIVING HELENA SECOND CHANCES AND SHE KEEPS...NOT DESERVING THEM

All In Series by Helena Hunting Sometimes I need an escape from the demands, the puck bunnies, and the notoriety that come with being an NHL team captain. I just want to be a normal guy for a few weeks. So when I leave Chicago for some peace and quiet, the last thing I expect is for a gorgeous woman to literally fall into my lap on a flight to Alaska. Even better, she has absolutely no idea who I am.Lainey is the perfect escape from my life. My plan for seclusion becomes a monthlong sex fest punctuated with domestic bliss. But it ends just as abruptly as it began. When I’m called away on a family emergency, I realize too late that I have no way to contact Lainey.A year later, a chance encounter throws Lainey and me together again. But I still have a lie hanging over my head, and Lainey’s keeping secrets of her own. With more than lust at stake, the truth may be our game changer.

— Last year I read a hockey romance by Helena Hunting that was very cute and traditionally published and she’s got a bunch more free Amazon books that, for some reason, I keep downloading and reading and they continue to be absolutely ridiculous. That first one was a not-so-secret accidental pregnancy (as previously discussed ONE TIME without a condom mention and bam pregnant) but the second one with Rook’s sister was actually pretty cute. I’m not sure why they all called him Rook. Almost all these series have at least one book with someone recovering from an injury and they inevitably fall in love with their physical therapist. So, that one was pretty ok. None of these, however, were quite as entertaining as (wait for it) QUEENIE AND KINGSTON. WHOSE FRIENDS AND TEAMMATES ALL CALL HIM KING. QUEENIE. AND. KING. Gag. I read it anyway. At least 99% of that decision was based solely on the fact that the story started just after King found out his sister was actually his mom. How am I supposed to stop reading THAT?!? I ask you. Highlights of Queenie and King’s romance included: him calling his mom/sister MOMSTER, Queenie being secretly married this whole time, WITHOUT KNOWING IT, his strawberry allergy that flared up because she’d had a strawberry milkshake and then GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB, her dad finding out they were dating because he was the GM of the team and saw that his starting goalie was having a MASSIVE allergic reaction, Queenie’s eventual ex-husband getting engaged to someone who previously tried to self-inseminate to trap Rook into a relationship (I am not making this up, I swear) and then when he found out that his fiancee’s kid wasn’t actually his, he got into a massive fight and earned a 20-game suspension. THAT’S A QUARTER OF AN NHL SEASON. Tom Wilson got fined five thousand dollars for practically killing Artemi Panarin on the ice! I did not read the last book in this series because it was MORE ACCIDENTAL PREGNANCY and because it was Queenie’s dad and King’s mom and that meant they’d share a sibling. Which is where I draw the line, guys.

THERE WERE SEVEN BOOKS IN THIS SERIES! EVERY SINGLE ONE HAD TO HAVE A SCENE WHERE THE DUDE UNDERSTOOD THAT PERIODS WERE A THING???? LIKE THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE SOMEHOW?!?!

Hot Jocks Series by Kendall Ryan I've never been so stupid in my entire life. My teammate's incredibly sweet and gorgeous younger sister should have been off-limits, but my hockey stick didn't get that memo. After our team won the championship, and plenty of alcohol, our flirting turned physical and I took her to bed. Shame sent her running the next morning from our catastrophic mistake. She thinks I don't remember that night—but every detail is burned into my brain so deeply, I’ll never forget. The feel of her in my arms, the soft whimpers of pleasure I coaxed from her perfect lips…And now I’ve spent three months trying to get her out of my head. Which has been futile, because I’m starting to understand she’s the only girl I’ll ever want. I have one shot to show her I can be exactly what she needs, but Elise won’t be easily convinced. That’s okay, because I’m good under pressure, and this time, I’m playing for keeps.

—I read all of these. All. Of. Them. They were exceptionally quick reads. Every single one had a copious amount of sex in it and a very weird, apparently required scene, where the dude had to be like I’M NOT SQUICKED OUT BY PERIODS AM I NOT THE ULTIMATE EXAMPLE OF MASCULINITY?? My favorite one was Grant and Ana’s, though, because it was so goddamn absurd I cannot believe someone wrote it. Basic gist was that Ana was dating someone on Grant’s team (he’s the captain, natch) but the guy was a dick and abusive and so one night Ana decides to leave, but she needs someone to help her and WHO DOES SHE TURN TO??? That’s right, reclusive captain Grant. Who’s spent the last few years watching his teammates marry-up and start families and he’s so jealous, but he can’t say anything because he’s a stoic MAN™. So he takes Ana and her dog (of course she’s got a dog) back to his super swanky bachelor pad and she just sort of...stays there? Video of the boyfriend accosting her at her job gets leaked and the boyfriend gets sent to the AHL which is not really how it would work, but fine. Naturally, Grant and Ana hook up. It’s emotional. Vaguely romantic. There’s no GODDAMN CONDOM. So, she gets pregnant. But, of course. Except! She doesn’t know if it’s dick boyfriend’s or Grant’s. Because he’s the male lead in a free sports romance on Amazon, Grant is the MOST understanding. He wants to help Ana. He would like to continue having sex with Ana. This is ready-made happily ever after. Only Ana’s like...eh?? She doesn’t want it to look like she bounced from one hockey player to the next, but also she sorta did and she kept telling Grant she just wanted to be friends, only to have sex, like, three chapters later. Then she just moved out! Just moved out. Seven months pregnant. Moving out. With her dog. Of course, this is a free sports romance on Amazon, so eventually she moved back in with Grant. Once she realized independence wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. And because he left practice to be there when she had the baby. Oh! And she got a DNA test after. To see whose kid it was. Grant ripped that ‘ish up. Just ripped it up. Which is cool, I guess. But, like, you didn’t want to double check? What if that kid has to go to the hospital? Did she put Grant’s name on the birth certificate? What are his parental rights?? Anyway, they’re all set to live HEA when....THE DICK BOYFRIEND DIES. Straight up. No explanation. Nothing. Just Grant tells Ana he’s dead, she’s like, oh wow that’s sad, they send some flowers to the funeral and that’s THAT. I assume this was to close any potential plot holes on the father of this baby, but it was hysterical and I cannot stop thinking about it. Strangely enough, the one where the couple made a secret sex tape in college and then got back together because it got released may have been the healthiest relationship in this series.

[tomsgreg]

Hedric Professor Au

A few people seemed interested in me posting these so here: @incorrect-marvel-stuff @puddingparamour @seasnake31 @seamarmot @dancibayo @tiri-viri @megathy-two

These said FUCK Cursed Child Rights btw: 

So we all know Cedric was Harry’s bi awakening but how did they get together?

- When Cedric survives the TWT (don’t ask me how just roll with it pls) harry and Cedric have shared trauma about almost dying and being the only two to have witnessed Voldemort's return.

- They send letters back and forth a lot during harry’s 5th year and they even meet up in Hogsmeade a few times. Cedric comes back to help harry with DA where they both realize they’re both really good teachers and they both genuinely enjoy it.

- Suddenly they’re spending way more time together and, oh wow, harry knew Cedric was a pretty boy, but the light in his eyes when he talks about teaching, and how he never thought he’d love it so much? It makes him look beautiful. Cedric pretends not to notice when Harry stares a little too long.

- Between the DA and trauma, Cedric and Cho just drift apart romantically, they both agree it’s better to stay friends instead of staying in a relationship that lost its spark and end up resenting each other.

- Cho starts helping them plan lessons as well as being a part of the students in the DA. It gives Harry and Cedric a good perspective on the other side of things and she helps them improve their teaching methods.

- They become a trio and hang out every weekend at Hogsmede.

- Cut to when Harry leaves to hunt Horcruxes and Cedric stays behind. He teaches the DA on his own, but it's not the same really. Nothing is knowing at any moment any one of them can die.

- Cedric’s love for teaching becomes drowned out by the fact that if he doesn’t prepare them for war, they can all die. He doesn’t sleep anymore unless he basically passes out from exhaustion and as time goes on DA meetings become less like lessons and more group therapy for everyone involved.

- Harry comes back and both feel a wave of relief crashing over them when they see each other. They act like they aren’t holding each other just a little too long.

- Harry came to terms with his feelings toward Cedric after he saw Cedric almost die in front of him, but Cedric doesn’t realize what he feels for Harry is romantic until long after the war is done, when all the smoke clears and it finally sets in that everyone is safe.

- One day he was just talking to Harry and he thought to himself, “I really can’t imagine what life would be like if he died” He smiles to himself and when Harry asks why he just tells him “I think I love you” Harry’s face goes beet red and Cedric tries to backpedal, but before he can come up with an excuse, Harry plants a chaste kiss on Cedric’s lips and the rest is history.

Who proposes to who?

- Neither really propose to the other, but technically speaking, Cedric does.

- They were sitting on their couch together, Harry’s head in his lap talking about whatever was on his mind. When Harry stopped for a moment, Cedric just said, “Let’s get married”.

- They have a city hall (or whatever the wizard equivalent is) wedding with just family. After the ceremony, Harry decides to take Cedric’s name. Ron and Hermione are definitely confused, but supportive overall.

- Harry never liked having a *name*, one that anyone and everyone knew. One that was associated with everything horrible he had gone through. Harry Diggory felt like a normal guy, not the Wizard Savior everyone sees him as like there’s nothing else to him besides what he gave everyone.

Now to the actual Professor AU:

How do they realize they want to be professors?:

- After Harry finishes school, McGonagall asks Harry if he still wanted to be an Auror. when Harry told her no she was taken aback considering it was seemingly all he wanted since he was younger.

- So she asked what he was planning then. When he said he wanted to teach at Hogwarts, she smiled ear to ear. Harry Potter may not want to be a hero anymore, but she knows he will be a hero to so many kids, and not because he saved the world, but because he is a kind and caring man.

- In Harry’s last year of school, Cedric is debating what exactly *he* wants to do now that the war is over.

- He thinks of himself in a bunch of different positions in life, and none seem to fit. Sure, he loved Quidditch, but he doesn’t want to be in the limelight as some famous player. Would he even be good enough to go pro? And yea he loved herbology, he even had his own garden, but he couldn’t see himself doing much with that as a career.

- Nothing really felt like something he could dedicate the rest of his life to. Maybe it’s because, since his 7th year, he couldn’t imagine himself in a distant future.

- When Harry is out of school, he talks to him about it. Even after everything Harry went through, he seemed to know what he wanted for his life. Even if Harry couldn’t give him guidance, he could at least make him feel a little bit better about feeling so lost, distract him for a while.

- When Cedric asks Harry how he decided he wanted to be a professor, Harry told him that he had always wanted to be an Auror, but after the war, he had had enough of being a hero.

- He told Cedric that for most of his last year, he felt just as lost, but he found himself thinking about DA, and how much he loved seeing his friends’ magic improve under his tutelage.

- That year, with Voldemort’s presence being so much stronger, teaching was the only thing that truly made him feel like things were okay and normal. Realizing how happy he was teaching then, it only made sense for him to teach. He tells Cedric that it may not make sense in a year, maybe he’ll hate it. He has no idea, but that’s okay. Harry tells him, putting his hand on Cedric’s shoulder, “It’s okay not to know.” This is when Cedric confesses his feelings to Harry.

- Over that summer, Harry and Cedric have many conversations about what Cedric can do. He takes odd jobs here and there, hoping to find something he’s passionate about.

- It isn’t until he and Harry visit some of his family over Christmas break that he realizes he wants to teach.

- His younger cousin (because fuck cursed child in this AU Amos Diggory has siblings who also had kids) had gotten his first broom for Christmas and asked Cedric to teach him how to fly it. He spends all day showing him how to call it up, ways to steer the broom, and when he finally sees him in the air, laughing and thanking him he realizes this warm, proud feeling is something he wants to feel his whole life.

- He finally sees that teaching doesn’t have to be scary anymore. That’s when he decides he wants to teach flying.

How does their first year of teaching go?:

- Harry’s first year is a little bit jarring with realizing how hard lesson planning actually was, but overall he loves it.

- He teaches first years and he helps them adjust to life at Hogwarts.

- Of course, they’re all star-struck by him for a while, but once he gives their first big assignment, he becomes less the boy who lived and more just like another professor.

- He gets close to most of his students, but he forms a certain special bond with kids who are lonely and need a bit of extra help adjusting to the wizarding world.

- Cedric’s first year of teaching goes a bit smoother in the beginning, mainly because he had Harry to warn him about preparing for the school year.

- Like Harry, Cedric bonds with the kids that are lost in the wizarding world.

- At the end of the year, Cedric realizes there are some kids dreading going home and he remembers how Harry would tell him about how he would hate going back to the Dursleys at the end of every year and his heart sinks knowing he can’t help all of them.

How do they feel about Scorpius Malfoy:

They’d both be lying if they said they didn’t have ideas about Scorpius before he met them. However, they treat him as they treat any other student because Fuck Snape they won’t punish a kid based on his parents.

On Scorpius’s first day of DATDA, he’s obviously extremely nervous and people already judge him because of his name and overall his excitement to be at Hogwarts has already dwindled, because of this, Harry sees a lot of his younger self in Scorpius and he makes a mental note to keep an eye on Scorpius and to make sure he doesn’t feel unsafe or alone because Harry doesn’t know what he would’ve done without Ron and Hermione and Scorpius doesn’t have them to help him get through school.

On his first day of flying, Scorpius has an extremely hard time. More so than other students and it only gives other kids more reason to make fun of him. Cedric pulls him aside after class and offers extra lessons if he thinks he needs it during the year. Scorpius, who’s worried about doing poorly in school takes the opportunity. Cedric spends the first half of their lesson giving him a pep talk and giving him a signature “you can do it” speech and suddenly a more confident Scorpius is improving already. He’s still struggling, but when he gets down he remembers Professor Diggory telling him failure is just practice and he keeps trying until he gets it.

Scorpius’s newfound confidence helps him stand up for himself/ignore people picking on him and eventually they stop. It also doesn’t hurt to have a close bond to everyone at Hogwarts’ favorite professors.

When Scorpius comes home for Christmas he tells his parents about how worried he was about going to Hogwarts and how much Harry and Cedric helped him adjust and feel more confident in himself.

Draco doesn’t admit it, but the “thank you for helping our son” letter he and Astoria sent them was his idea.

General headcanons:

- After Cedric’s first year, with the help of Harry and McGonagall, they set up a program in which students can take “summer classes” for at least most of the summer so they don’t have to go back to abusive homes.

- Cedric becomes the Hufflepuff quidditch coach in his second year. All the team members love him. He encourages sportsmanship and fairness. He’s the coach that tells his kids winning isn’t everything and to go out on the pitch every game to have fun.

- Every year he tells his students about how he wanted a quidditch rematch when harry was distracted by dementors to remind them of JUST how important sportsmanship is.

- Harry and Cedric get married after Harry’s 4th year of teaching and Cedric’s 3rd year teaching.

- Older students have a hard time remembering to call Harry Professor Diggory for a while, but for the most part, students that made a conscious effort to remember the name change had it down within a few weeks.

- Admittedly, it would get confusing to know which Professor Diggory they were referring to. So different groups of students came up with differentiations. Some included: Professor Flying vs DATDA Diggory, Professor Diggory vs Diggory with glasses, Professor Tall vs Short Diggory, and Professor Hufflepuff vs Gryffindor Diggory. McGonagall calls them Professor C. vs H. Diggory.

- Harry and Cedric don’t have kids of their own, but any kid that stays at Hogwarts over the summer they lovingly call their own if the student is comfortable with it.

- Harry speaking to children about moving past abuse and trauma.

- Harry and Cedric being safe spaces for children who are being bullied by other students, and the two of them helping students stand up for themselves and getting involved before situations escalate too far.

[holdenmgrudges]

Chapter 6 - Crushsies

I have returned with not just one chapter, but two. Here is the first.

Or read on AO3 if you prefer.

Ever since their sleepover, David just couldn’t think straight. When he wasn’t thinking about school, he was thinking about Jack. But they weren’t all good thoughts. In fact, he’d been making a pro-con list in his head about Jack. Not that it helped. Either way he was still thinking about him. And it was driving him crazy. David hated getting crushes. Especially on his friends.

The next time they met was at school during lunch. He sat with Jack and Crutchie as was usual, but he wasn’t really into the conversation. This happened every so often. Sometimes he listened and remained quiet. Sometimes he participated. On this day, he was in his head. He wasn’t even paying attention to what the other two were talking about.

The first pro on David’s list was that Jack was a nice guy. The most obvious reason was that his best friend was disabled. Though being friends with a disabled person didn’t automatically make you a nice person. It was Jack’s friendship with Crutchie that attracted him to Jack. He was always very protective of Crutchie, even when Crutchie told him to stop. If David hadn’t gotten to know them well, he would’ve thought they were dating. It didn’t help that they were very physically close.

David watched as Crutchie put his bad leg to rest on Jack’s lap. Jack just accepted it like it was no big deal. Like it was just an extent of his body. He let his hands rest on Crutchie’s ankle as they continued talking. David wished for a second that he was Crutchie’s leg.

He had to mentally shake his head. He had to remember that Jack was a friend and wanting anything more from him would spell disaster. That was his first con. It was bad enough that David had a crush on a guy. Not because he thought it was a bad thing, but because same-sex relationships in high school just seemed that much harder to start. It was lucky that David at least knew Jack was bi. But it was unlucky that he was one of his close friends.

This started a what-if chain in his brain. What if things went bad for them? What if Jack didn’t like him in that way and things were awkward for them from then on? What if Jack did like him, and they got together, but then they broke up? Crutchie would surely be on Jack’s side, so he wouldn’t just lose one friend, but two. What if the crush he had just passed? That was preferable to David, but he didn’t know how to get that going.

Jack and Crutchie laughed about something. Part of David wanted to know what, but his mind was too busy. Jack leaned forward and began to doodle on a piece of paper. David was distracted from his thoughts for a minute as he watched him draw. He wondered how he’d gotten so good at it so young, and thought about how if he really wanted to, Jack could be a great artist someday.

That was pro number two. Not just that Jack’s art was beautiful, but the fact that Jack knew what he wanted to do. He’d told David he wanted to move to a small town and just make art. He didn’t even want to do it for the money. He didn’t even want to be famous. In a world full of YouTube and reality tv stars, David found that refreshing. The way Jack said it, he didn’t sound like any of those pretentious artists who stated they wanted the same things when in reality just didn’t want people to think otherwise. The difference was that those artists wanted something other than what they said they wanted, while Jack seemed like he actually did want it..

But that brought up another issue. Because what if David didn’t want the same things? He’d just come from a small town where he hadn’t found much joy. Whereas now, he at least had friends and the LGBTQ+ Club. He wasn’t like Sarah who wanted to go to the big city, but he didn’t want to go back either. And if that’s what Jack was going for, then any possible long term relationship between him and David was doomed. And that was con number two.

David looked away from Jack’s drawing, trying to keep himself in check. His eyes found Crutchie’s, who seemed to be watching him with curiosity. David looked away and took a sip of the juice box he’d been playing with. He looked down at his food, a sandwich and an unopened bag of chips. He’d been so caught up in his thoughts he’d forgotten to eat.

He opened the chips and offered some to the boys. Jack put his pencil down to grab a chip. David watched as Jack put the chip up to his mouth, his tongue darting out a bit. He couldn’t help but watch Jack’s jaw line as he chewed, and his Adam’s apple when he swallowed. It really didn’t help that Jack was extremely good looking. Pro number three.

David forced himself to look away and once again crossed paths with Crutchie’s eyes. This time it was Crutchie that looked away. Not in the embarrassed, slightly awkward way that David had earlier, but with a sense of satisfaction. It was as if Crutchie had been staring at him with suspicion and he’d gotten the answer he was looking for. David wondered what that was about, as he ate his sandwich.

It also gave him a chance to think of his third con. The whole Katherine ordeal. David didn’t mind that Jack didn’t want to talk about it. It was none of his business, after all. It was just the fact that whenever it was brought up, Jack looked really guilty. And Katherine just seemed so angry. It made David think that Jack did something really awful to her. And if he had done something so awful to Katherine, it meant that he was capable of doing something as awful to him. And if that was the case, he didn’t ever want to find out what it was.

Still, he couldn’t help his feelings. Somehow, the pros outweighed the cons, but it didn’t mean he was ready to do anything about it. He needed a second opinion. Maybe even a third opinion. And with the way that Crutchie was looking at him, he thought maybe he’d be the first to talk to about all of this. After all, he was the closest person to Jack. Maybe talking to Sarah would also help. He just wanted to be able to think properly again.

“Hey, we should all go out and celebrate.” It was a Friday afternoon, and Katherine had already given out the assignments. Sarah didn’t feel like going home right away and Spot had texted her earlier that practice was going to run late.

“What are we celebrating?” Katherine asked immediately. “Is it your birthday?” She seemed curious, but not really concerned, seeing as how they only hung out after school.

“No, but we should celebrate another successful paper!”

“Why? We come out with one every week. That’s no reason to celebrate.”

“Sure it is. We don’t have to celebrate every week, but I think every once in awhile we should give ourselves a pat on the back.”

“That sounds like a good idea, Katherine,” Mr. Denton said from his desk. “You kids work hard all week. You deserve to relax.”

Sarah smiled at their advisor. The truth was that Sarah wanted to hang out with Katherine outside the paper. Get to know her better. She had Jack and Spot as friends, but she needed a girl friend. Someone to gossip with or at least talk to about girl stuff. Stuff she couldn’t talk to Jack and Spot about.

“Well, where would we be going to celebrate, then?” Katherine asked, a little more open to the idea now that Denton had approved.

“Not sure...Darcy? Bill? Know of any places around here we can have fun?”

Darcy and Bill looked at each other and suddenly looked happy, as if they thought they weren’t invited before. “There’s this one place called Jacobi’s,” spoke Bill. “It has burgers and pizza and stuff and there’s an arcade.”

“Are there prizes?” Sarah asked. Bill nodded. “Ooh, what do you think, Katherine?” The teen reporter looked like she’d lost interest, but shrugged. “Jacobi’s it is then.”

They packed up and left Mr. Denton in the computer lab. Since Katherine had recently gotten a car, she agreed to drive them, immediately making sure Sarah was sitting shotgun. The four got in the car and Katherine turned on the car. Sarah had expected the radio to come on, but there was nothing but silence. Bill gave directions, but other than that, the ride was quiet. Sarah could sense the discomfort and decided to talk.

“So what kind of music do you guys listen to?” she asked.

“Film scores mostly.” Sarah wasn’t surprised by this at all. Bill looked like the type of guy who watched a lot of movies.

“Jazz and hip hop.” This was more surprising as Darcy was the type of person she’d describe as a WASP. She’d expected Christian rock, maybe gospel.

“I don’t really like music.” This surprised Sarah most of all, because...well, who didn’t like music? Katherine apparently.

“None at all?”

“I’ll dance to it at social functions, but no. I prefer to read.”

They got to Jacobi’s quickly since it wasn’t too far from the school. Bill led them in. It seemed like he was a regular. He ordered his food and then went to go find a table for them to sit. Sarah ordered a slice of pizza and some fries, Katherine paid for the unlimited salad bar, and Darcy and Bill each got a burger.

They sat down to eat and talk, though Katherine didn’t do much talking. Sarah was getting to know Darcy and Bill better at least. She was asking them lots of questions and found out that Bill didn’t just write for the paper, but he liked to write scripts. She also found out Darcy was a poet who occasionally dabbled in rapping.

As little as Katherine was talking, she genuinely did seem interested in the conversation. She’d never really bothered learning much about Bill and Darcy so she was learning just as much as Sarah was. They were taking her mind off the school paper, and school in general. She forgot about all the stress she was in, and all the troubles she was still holding on to.

When they finished their food, they moved on to the arcade in the restaurant. Bill was willing to share his game card with everyone so they were all able to play some games. He also knew which ones had more chance of acquiring more points for prizes. Katherine was having fun, despite struggling with some of the games. Sarah was having fun watching everyone else have fun. She may not have been learning much about Katherine but at least they were all having a good time.

“You all look like you’re having a good time,” came from behind them as they played a whack-a-mole game. They all turned to see Jack watching them with a smile.

“Hey Jack!” Sarah said, hugging him as if she hadn’t seen him earlier that day.

“Hey, Sarah.” He turned to Katherine. “Hi, Kath.”

Katherine didn’t even try to be subtle. She whacked the moles harder than you were probably supposed to. She didn’t even acknowledge Jack’s presence.

Jack nodded, giving up. He smiled at the other two boys and then back at Sarah. “See ya later, Sarah.”

She waved at him as he walked away with his head down. Sarah was lost. Clearly something was going on with Jack and Katherine but she didn’t know what and she didn’t know who to comfort.

After she whacked the last mole, Katherine put the mallet back in its place and smiled at the three of them. Sarah could tell it wasn’t genuine though. There was a pain in her eyes.

“I’m ready to go now, if you guys need a ride home.”

Bill and Darcy said they could walk, and Sarah said she would also stay. The truth was Sarah wanted to know what was going on and she knew Katherine wouldn’t tell her, but Bill and Darcy would.

Katherine said her goodbyes and rushed off. Sarah waited until they had moved on to the next game to ask, “So what was all that about? With Jack and Katherine.”

Bill and Darcy looked at each other as they often did, and then Darcy spoke. “They used to date. And then Jack broke her heart.”

“That week was the only week we ever did the paper by ourselves,” Bill said, focusing intensely on the game he was playing.

“She came back the next week, berated us for doing such a bad job on the paper, and she’s been hard on us ever since.”

“The good thing is my writing’s improved. But she used to be nicer.”

“Not a lot nicer. But nicer.”

Sarah nodded in understanding, but she only had more questions she knew the boys wouldn’t be able to answer. Like how exactly Jack broke Katherine’s heart. It seemed that Jack regretted whatever he did, but Sarah now knew to be more wary around him. Maybe he wasn’t as different as she thought he was. She wished Katherine was still there so she could comfort her, but even then, Katherine probably wouldn’t let her.

“So what’d you get?” Race asked as he followed Spot out of their math class. Jojo walked behind them, observing. Spot reluctantly showed Race the B grade on his test. “I knew it! Ha! Pay up, bud!”

Spot took his wallet out and gave Race a five dollar bill. Race pocketed this as if it was nothing, but Jojo knew that it wasn’t just nothing.

“You like him, don’t you?” Jojo asked as soon as Spot had left them.

“What?” came from a very confused Race.

“You like Spot.” This time it wasn’t a question. But Jojo didn’t know what to think of it. Did he approve?

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re making bets with him.”

“I make bets with loads of people.”

“You take loads from people you make bets with.”

Race gave Jojo a cheeky smile and then said, “Yeah I do.”

Jojo then raised his eyebrow as if to say, “So I’m right.”

“Okay, so I think he’s hot. Whatever. But it’s not like Spot Conlon is gay. He barely even looks at me.”

Jojo shrugged. “Why don’t you ask him?”

“I can’t just...that’d be suicide.”

“Yeah, it’d be better if you two just stayed friends.”

Race seemed annoyed at this. “You know what? I bet you he is gay.”

“Nope. Not making that bet.”

“So you do think he’s gay.”

“I didn’t say that. I just can’t with you. Either way I lose.”

“I’m taking the bet anyway. I’m gonna prove to you he’s gay. I’m gonna do it.”

“Sounds more like a threat than a bet.”

Over the next few days, Race thought up several plans as to how he could out Spot or at least get him to kiss him. Ultimately, his tried and true method seemed to be the winner. Jojo was right. Making bets was Race’s strong suit and if that’s what got Spot to out himself, that’s what he was going to do.

And so they kept making bets in class. Some Spot would win, but most of them Race did. One of the days they were supposed to meet up with Jojo for their study group, Spot made the bet that Jojo wouldn’t show up. With Race trying to seduce Spot all the time, Jojo just didn’t have much interest in the group anymore. He’d only showed up occasionally since their studying had moved to Jacobi’s..

“You know, you don’t win the bet until we leave,” Race said after fifteen minutes of waiting.

“Well don’t try to keep me from leaving. I’m winning this, Higgins.” Spot had begun calling Race by his last name because he thought his nickname was ridiculous.

“Don’t count your chickens yet, Conlon.” And of course, Race had also begun to call Spot by his last name.

“I’ll fight you.”

“You’d lose.” Race looked up from his burger to see Spot staring at him with a smile. And every time they made eye contact, Race felt giddy. As if he’d won a bet he hadn’t even made.

“That’s amusing.” Spot, on the other hand, felt his heart skip a beat, and quickly looked away. He craved eye contact, but couldn’t bring himself to keep it for long.

“Wanna bet?” Maybe this was his chance. A chance to get into close physical contact with Spot. “Actually, yeah, let’s bet. I bet I can beat you at wrestling.” Surely, with Spot on top of him he’d know if he was gay.

“That’s stupid. I wouldn’t bet you to see who could run faster. If you were actually good at wrestling, you’d be on the team.”

“Would I? Maybe I just don’t like wrestling, even though I’m good at it.”

“You’re a dumbass,” Spot said with a laugh. “Get the fuck out.”

They finished their food and studied, before leaving. Race tried to stall as much as he could by challenging Spot to arm wrestling, losing twenty times. It wasn’t until Spot let Race win that he knew he couldn’t stall anymore. Jojo wasn’t going to show up.

“Walk me home?” Race asked when they got outside.

Spot hesitated. This was new. “You know I live the other way.”

“I get bored walking home. You keep me entertained.”

“Listen to music or something.”

“Let me listen to your music. I wanna know what trash you’re into.” A lot about Spot Conlon was still a mystery to Race. Not only would this help him get to know him better, but it could also help him figure out if he was gay. Maybe Spot liked Britney or One Direction.

“My music’s the best, you little shit.”

“Prove it.”

As much as experience was telling Spot to run home and get away from this kid, his heart was telling him the opposite. “Fine. I’ll walk you home.” Race grinned as Spot took his phone out to play music. “Dipshit.”

“You’re not just gonna play it like that, are you? Plug your earphones in. I wanna listen closely.” It wasn’t the best maneuver, but if he could get Spot to share his earphone, they’d be close. Spot reluctantly plugged his earphones in and loaded his music, handing both to Race as they walked. “What am I supposed to do with this? Pick a song. Listen with me.”

“You’re so needy.” But this was something Spot liked about him. He felt useful around Race, like he mattered and made a difference.

As far as Race could see, there was no Britney or One Direction, but he knew that didn’t mean anything. As they walked to Race’s, he made fun of the choices Spot did have. There were a lot of oldies, some heavy metal, and surprisingly, some classical.

“It helps me sleep,” he explained, ask they walked through an alley Race said was a shortcut to his house.

“You don’t sleep well?”

Spot hesitated. That was something Race had become accustomed to. It was as if everything Spot told him was some dark secret he was trying to keep. Race hoped one of those dark secrets was being gay. “Sometimes I just have nights where I think too much. I like to dwell on past mistakes or...unasked for feelings.”

“What kind of feelings?” Race asked curiously.

“I just said, unasked for.” He sounded defensive, which at first had stopped Race from asking more. As of lately, though, Race had gotten braver around him.

“But like...do they make you feel good?”

Spot stopped, wondering what Race was getting at. They made eye contact, and this time Spot didn’t look away. Race looked amused, but a little concerned. Spot wondered if he should say something to him. Not that it would help. The feelings would still be unasked for.

Race had to take his chance. Spot wasn’t looking away, which meant that Race was still looking directly into his beautiful brown eyes. And Spot still wasn’t looking away, which meant that he’d asked the right question. Spot didn’t look away, which meant that now was the time to know for sure. And so he did it.

Spot was caught up in his thoughts that it took him a second to realize Race was getting closer to him. It took him a second to realize Race’s face was nearing his. It took him a second to realize Race was coming in for a kiss.

But he did notice. And he backed up. His earphone fell out of his ear, and then out of Race’s as he pulled his phone away. “What the fuck?”

Race felt a little embarrassed, but there was no way to explain away what he’d attempted to do. “Sorry, I...I thought we were having a moment.”

“I’m not gay,” he replied, stating a lie he’d told himself countless times.

“I am,” Race said a bit defensively.

“That’s nice for you, but I don’t believe in living that kind of lifestyle.”

Race’s face immediately soured. “Lifestyle? It’s not a lifestyle. It’s who I am.”

“Who you are is a person. What you do is a choice.”

Race couldn’t even comprehend what was going on right now. His feelings toward Spot had just done a complete 180. How had he become friends with such a person? Who even was Spot Conlon anymore? “You’re...so wrong right now. I can’t…” He didn’t even know how to finish that statement.

“Yeah, I can’t either. Walk yourself home.” With that, Spot picked up his earphones and left. When he was alone, he reflected on what had just happened. He’d almost been kissed by a guy. And what was worse is that he almost let him. But he knew he couldn’t. He had to be a man. A good little man. And make his mother proud. He had to find a girlfriend. And he knew where to start with that.