#noots interrogation log

[therealnoot]

Hey:)) nightmare and mistake for jinx:))

Oh boy here we go

Nightmares.

Jinx rarely ever sleeps, but when she accidentally lets herself slip, she can only experience nightmares or sleep paralysis unless she has certain conditions met before falling asleep.

Her nightmares are graphic, most of them are watching anyone she tries to keep close to her being murdered, tortured or killed by the looming presence that always haunts her. To deal with this kind of nightmare, she mostly refuses to have relationships with anyone to completely stop these. However, if she doesn’t have nightmares about those she cares about, it’s usually herself, stuck in situations she is powerless to stop, watching as she herself is constantly killed and forced to get up and endure it, unable to stop it or rest peacefully. This is usually when she wakes up and has sleep paralysis and severe hallucinations and she becomes extremely hysterical. And then, the third type of nightmares she experiences is simply memories of her past, played on repeat constantly to make her suffer.

Jinx had tried everything to deal with these nightmares but they never go away, after a couple thousand years she decided to stop sleeping entirely and has been almost continuously sleep deprived. She refuses to acknowledge them, refuses to talk about them and only keeps them to herself. This often causes her to have violent freak outs or self-destructive behavior anytime the thought of sleeping or nightmares come to mind. She also, has hysterical fits or panic attacks if anyone tries to force her to sleep

Mistake.

Jinx has made many “mistakes” in her life. A lot of things could be considered mistakes, some are more severe than others, but the only thing she considers to be a true mistake on her behalf, one thing she truly regrets and believe is a mistake is trusting others. She has been led by people she trusted to terrible things and painful memories. She trusts very little people and even then considers any trust she places in anyone to be a mistake on her half, always counting down the days, minutes, seconds till she or the other person breaks that trust and adds it onto her belt of mistakes.

She has also killed a lot of people she loves, has loved and/or trusts. She sometimes does it in unknowing accidents or purposeful mistakes. Anytime this is brought up, she refers to these murders as mistakes or accidents, as she never wanted to, nor intended to murder them. This is a mistake to her.

Jinx claims she fixes these “mistakes”, that she’s moved on from them but these are lies. She struggles to forgive herself or others. She’s hard on both parties and can’t stand it. She views trust as a mistake. She views murdering those she cares about as a honest accidental mistake, whether they truly are or not. They are mistakes to her, the worst ones she’s ever made, but, she does not stop.

[cws-archivist-logs]

Log #4

I am growing more and more concerned. Kepler has been sent on a mission that I can not know about (according to noot) and he's a first year. Can he really be trusted with this? I am tempted to go against noot's wishes and interrogate him about it.