#not only like. for characters themselves!

[luna-azzurra]

Writing characters who don’t know they’re in love

(PS: but literally everyone else does and is so tired)

These characters aren’t clueless, no, they’re not walking around like, “love? never heard of her.” They know something’s going on, they just won’t admit it (not to themselves, not to anyone.) Maybe they’re scared of messing it up, or maybe they think the other person doesn’t feel the same. Maybe they’ve stuffed the feeling so deep even a NASA rover couldn’t dig it out.

Whatever the reason, they’re not avoiding the truth as much as they’re…rebranding it. Calling it “friendship” while giving each other their only jacket and dreaming about each other’s voices like it’s totally normal behavior.

ꕤ They don’t realize it’s love, but they notice everything else. They clock every mood shift, every absence, every little thing. They definitely  know when something’s off.

⇢ “You changed your hair.” ⇢ “You looked upset earlier.” ⇢ “You didn’t text me back and I panicked.” ⇢ “You weren’t at lunch and it felt weird.” ⇢ “Are you cold?” hands over jacket without a second thought

They don’t say “I love you,” but their actions scream it constantly.

ꕤ they get weird when someone else gets close They’re not jealous. No, how dare you think something like that… they’re just keeping an eye out. For safety... Or whatever."

⇢ “Who was that?” ⇢ “Oh, you’re hanging out with them again?” ⇢ “I just think it’s interesting how you never cancel on them.”

They don’t say it, but they hate the idea of being replaced. It stings more than they’re ready to admit.

ꕤ they make excuses to be around each other.

Literally inventing reasons to be in the same space.

⇢ “Wanna study together? I’m struggling with this topic.” (They’re not.) ⇢ “Oh, I was just in the area.” (They weren’t.) ⇢ “You forgot this.” (It’s a single pen.)

They’d rather lie badly than admit, “I just wanted to see you.”

ꕤ  Their friends are so over it Everyone around them is either rooting for them or trying not to scream.

⇢ “You’re in love with them.” ⇢ “That’s not friendship, and you know it.” ⇢ “You made them soup. FUCKING SOUP. Just say you’re married already.” ⇢ “If I have to hear you talk about them one more time, I’m charging rent.”

Friends are the Greek chorus of this situation, like, brutally honest and endlessly tired.

ꕤ  There’s always a moment they almost figure it out That one soft, unspoken beat where the truth almost breaks through.

⇢ Watching them laugh like it’s the first time. ⇢ Seeing them cry and wanting to fix it more than anything. ⇢ Realizing no one else makes them feel like this. ⇢ Thinking, God, they’re beautiful.

Then they blink, panic a little, and go, “Huh. Weird.” And move on. Like absolute fools.

ꕤ  When it finally hits, it’s not cute, it’s catastrophic. Suddenly everything makes sense and feels like too much.

⇢ Flashbacks. ⇢ Internal screaming. ⇢ “Oh no.” ⇢ “OH MY GOD.” ⇢ “Has it always been this obvious??” ⇢ “Wait. Everyone knew?!”

Yes. Everyone. The friends, the neighbor’s cat. You were the only two who didn’t get the memo...

[moonstruckme]

First time request! I'd love a poly Jily fic based on the prompt "blood swirling down a shower drain." Maybe the reader just got back from a mission that went wrong and is kinda out of it, trying to wash everything off. James and Lily find them and refuse to let them deal with it alone, just soft, quiet comfort, lots of gentle touches, and reassuring words.🥹 Thanks!!

Thank you for requesting! This turned out so much angstier than I intended. I really don't know what happened but...I'm sorry? Or for the people who are always asking for angst I don't deliver, you're welcome I think? I don't know it just happened I wasn't on the decision-making panel

cw: blood (lots of blood), reader is a bit in shock, nonsexual nudity, death (of a minor canon character, not someone we really know and love), set in canon so there's death eaters/the order/etc., quite angsty (for me at least) but there is comfort I promise

poly!Jily x fem!reader ♡ 1.4k words

James and Lily are cuddling when you come home. Well, they’re sort of just holding each other and trying to pass it off as cuddling. Any one of you going out on an assignment for the Order always makes nervous wrecks of the two left behind, but Lily and James doing their best to distract themselves, a film on the television and each trying not to look like they’re glancing out the window every minute. 

The crack of apparition outside puts an abrupt end to the facade. 

They’re both up in an instant, but Lily puts a hand to James’ chest when he goes for the door. “Wait,” she says. She leaves a spot of blood on his shirt from where she’s picked the skin by her nail down to nothing. 

James’ heart revolts, but he listens. They both listen, until they hear the two-three-two knock that means it’s you. 

Lily manages to move faster than him. She has both the muggle and magical locking mechanisms undone in an instant, opening the door to you. 

To you, absolutely drenched in red. 

It’s in your hair; it stains your clothes; it cakes your face and your neck and your hands. There’s hardly an inch of you left clean. James can’t comprehend it. Was there…was there an explosion of some sort? Did you get splattered by something? He feels sick. 

“Is that blood?” Lily’s voice is admirably steady. 

You nod. “Yeah.” 

James really feels sick. 

“Are you hurt?” She reaches for you, bringing you inside. You move like your body weighs a thousand pounds. 

“No, I’m—it’s old. I’m fine. Remus fixed it.” 

“Good old Moony,” James croaks. It’s meant to be a joke, but truly, he’d love to fly to Remus and Sirius’ flat right now to give his friend the hug of his life. If only there weren’t things for James to take care of here first. 

“What happened, sweetheart?” Lily asks, running a gentle hand up your arm. Blood flakes under her touch. 

“They were waiting for us.” Your voice is low, like it’s the sort of truth that becomes worse once said aloud. Your eyes look bigger and brighter in the midst of all the mess. James wants desperately to hug you, and yet—shamefully—he’s afraid of touching you; like despite what you say, he might find you less whole than you were when you left a few hours ago. “It was just supposed to be Dolohov there, but there were a lot of them. They knew we were coming.” 

“They did this to you?” 

“It…I…” Your gaze moves from Lily, to James, back to Lily again. You look exhausted, haunted, but worried beneath that. A moment later, James understands why. “It was Severus.” 

Lily reacts as though you’ve hit her. Her expression looks like a heart cracked open, but she doesn’t let go of your arm. 

“He used this spell,” you tell her, seeming sorry to do it, “that opens cuts all over the other person’s body. Remus was able to figure a counter-curse before I bled out. I don’t think Severus was aiming for me…” 

Even looking at your face, James is unsure of whether you mean that. The odds that Snape would try to hurt you seem equally as likely to him as those that he wouldn’t. You may only be trying to protect Lily. She looks so devastated, James wants to wrap you both up and never let you go again. 

Something Lily and James have always had in common is how they love. They may not always show it in the same ways, but once they’ve chosen someone, that’s it; they’ll live and die for them. They give away their whole hearts. James has just been luckier in who he’s chosen to give his to. His first love—outside of his family, of course—was Sirius. Lily’s was Snape. 

But, as much as James loves Lily, if Snape showed up on your doorstep right now James thinks he would kill him. 

“I’m sorry,” Lily says to you, her eyes shining. 

“It’s okay.” You extricate yourself gently from her grasp. “I’m going to shower.” 

“Sweetheart…” James reaches for you, but you ghost past his hands, only mumbling again, “It’s okay.” 

Nothing’s okay. Lily’s looking after you like her heart’s been cracked open. From the sound of it, you actually were cracked open for a while. There’s a fracture between the three of you that James doesn’t know how to fix. But certainly he’s going to try. 

“Come on.” He takes Lily’s hand, encouraging her down the hall with him. When she comes, he wraps an arm around her shoulders to kiss her hair. “It’s alright. Come on, lovely.” 

The shower is already running when they open the bathroom door. James shuts it behind them before starting to strip, and Lily’s questioning look only lasts a moment before she’s doing the same. He sets his glasses on the counter. 

“Hi,” he says, pulling the shower curtain open enough to pop his head in. You look surprised, which is a surprise in itself; you must really be lost in your own head not to have heard them enter. “Room for two more in here?” 

There is, of course, room—as if James would ever let you get a place without a shower big enough for three—but still he’s relieved when you nod. He steps the rest of the way in, making room for Lily to squeeze in behind him. You seem to have scrubbed your face clean and now are letting the water do the work on the rest of you. Blood swirls down the shower drain. 

James steps closer, giving you long seconds to back away, to let your face reveal hesitation or denial, before he kisses you. Slowly. Warmly. You soften like butter in the sun, arms coming around him as his do you. 

“Didn’t get to do that properly when you got home,” James murmurs after your lips part. 

“Yeah,” you breathe. 

He fights to keep his lips from twitching at the now-familiar dazed quality to your tone. It is taking every ounce of his concentration to not think too hard about the two stunning women he’s sharing a shower with right now. 

Since Lily is no longer up to being the asker of questions, James gives it a whirl. “Do you want to tell us any more about what happened tonight?” 

Your eyes go weary and somber. He sees your throat bob as if around something painful. “We, um. We lost Edgar.” 

Lily makes a wounded sound. “Bones?” 

James has already drawn you into a hug. You nod against his chest, choking out a weak, “Yeah.” 

“Was it…”

“It was Lestrange,” you answer before Lily has to finish asking. Not Snape. She breathes out. 

“I’m so sorry,” she says, joining your hug. Water runs in rivulets down the three of you, transferring from one body to the other, off James’ nose and Lily’s hair and your chin, pooling in all the places you’re pressed together. James fights an ache in his own throat. You’d all known Edgar, but only you watched him die. This is a grief he and Lily can only share in parts of. 

There’s lots more kisses and murmuring before you get to the business of washing. James runs you over with a soapy cloth while Lily shampoos your hair, the both of them making sure no inch of you goes unseen to. Remus has done a good job; there are no scars where Snape’s curse tore you open. As the blood clears away, James can’t tell where it originated from at all. 

He tells you how happy they are to have you home. You smile at his exaggerated jokes about separation anxiety and squeeze his hand when he presses a thumb into the corner of it, chuffed with himself. Lily apologizes again for Snape, and you both promise her she’s not responsible for him until it seems almost like she believes it. James is kicked out of the shower in disgrace after mistaking your body wash for conditioner. He warms towels in the dryer while Lily works the tangles out of your hair with her fingers. 

When you go to bed, you’re still as exhausted as you were when you came home. You move like your body weighs a thousand pounds, and there’s a haunted look about your eyes, and you don’t seem up to saying much. But you curl up with James’ chest to your back and Lily’s leg draped across your own, and you’re loved, and that counts for something.

[halogenwarrior]

Agreed with nuance. I love these types of arcs sometimes but I think whether the redemption or self-sacrificial hero dying is bad writing or not really depends a lot on the context of the particular character. While most people seem to hate "redemption deaths" no matter the context, I hate them when the clear narrative motivation behind them is that the character doesn't deserve to live or it would be more complicated if they lived and they don't want to deal with that narrative, especially of the character themselves thinks they don't deserve to live and the narrative agrees with them by presenting their death as heartwarming and a fitting end/the best end a character could have after what they did (and unfortunately this is most of them in fiction). And especially if the thing they are atoning for really has nothing to do with any kind of selfishness or cowardice and in fact they were the "loyal to a cause above their own lives" type even pre-redemption. However I think it can work when their arc is about being selfish or cowardly, not being willing to give up even a little happiness or power or money for other people (and importantly in no way thinks they deserve death even when they atone), in which case giving up their very life can be the most impactful thing they could narratively do to show how they've changed. Or when they very much want to live but it's not the redemption that kills them but a "tragic hero" arc where the consequences of their flaws and mistakes do them in in a way that's presented as cathartic but not fundamentally deserved and they are able to have some realization of their wrongdoing/attempt to do good on the inevitable way out. Or if they are suicidal and think they deserve death but the narrative doesn't agree with them and their death when it happens is framed as tragically unnecessary rather than agreeing that it's a fitting ending. But I feel like this nuance gets lost with the "redemption deaths are bad no matter what" takes you usually see on this website.

And likewise with the self-sacrificial hero version, I sometimes love the trope of them living I'm a sucker for a good story about a suicidal character finding through hard struggle a reason to live, but if it's done wrong it can come across as protagonist-centric morality; if the character doesn't come off as suicidal but just doing the rational utilitarian thing in valuing a few or many others over their own life, but the narrative keeps criticizing them for that because don't they know they are the main character, so their life is more important than all of those NPCs? Especially if lots of other characters die including self-sacrifices in the story without being saved and it's only the main character who gets spared like this. While finding some contrived way to let said "NPCs" live anyway so they don't have to actually deal with the moral implications in implying the protagonist's life is more important than everyone else's.

i love when characters don't get to die

[cinnamanz]

✦ ─── 𝓘'll envy even the earth that wraps your body, 𝓢ophia 𝓛aforteza

─── 𝓞n the night of her debut, sophia gave her heart to the one girl she was never meant to love in silence. they'd promised each other forever, a lifetime of warmth and love. but a kingdom is bound to have enemies. bound to lose men, treasures, have casualties. bound to break promises. sophia just didn’t think it would be hers.

❝𝓭eath doesn't discriminate,

𝓫etween the sinners and the saints.❞

⊹₊♚₊⊹ pairing݁ᛪ༙ princess sophia laforteza x knight!reader

genreᛪ༙ angst, slight fluff, character death, princess x knight, wc: 14.9k words

❝𝓲t takes and it takes and it takes,

𝓪nd we keep living anyway.❞

THE FIRST TIME SOPHIA LAID EYES ON YOU, you stood beside your father in the great hall, silent and stiff-backed, a tiny shadow of the man who commanded the king’s guard. she was five years old, small and delicate in a gown too fine for someone who preferred to run barefoot through the castle gardens. you were five, too, but you stood differently—composed, disciplined, hands clasped neatly in front of you, eyes steady and watchful, taking in everything without a word.

her father, the king, looked at you with approval.

"arthur’s daughter," he mused, pleased. "you will make a fine knight, just like your father."

your father kneeled before him, his fist over his heart. devotion, loyalty. "she will learn well, my king. one day, she will take my place and serve you loyally. she will protect what is most precious to you and she will serve your daughter until her dying breath."

sophia watches as you bow your head, murmuring a quiet, "your grace.” acknowledgement.

you did not meet her eyes like she wanted you to. you barely even looked at her. and sophia, who was used to attention, finds herself frowning at the lack of exchange.

later, sophia finds you in the courtyard. you’re sitting alone on the stone bench, the quiet space overlooking the training grounds where the knights practiced. the air was was thick with the sound of clashing swords, the loud shouts of young men sparring, and the laughter of the nobility’s sons racing across the field, poking fun at pretending to be knights. 

but you’re not like them. you wouldn’t be. you sat still, perfectly composed, your hands folded neatly in your lap, watching the knights with an intensity far too strange to be seen in a child.

the boys run and play, their laughter echoing in the distance, but you don’t join them. you don’t laugh. (why would you?) you don’t even smile. 

instead, you watch the knights’ movements. the way they wield their swords with practiced ease, the way their feet shifted against the dirt, the way they carry themselves like warriors in their peak. 

sophia decides that it was your father’s influence.

sophia approaches you, her cheerful voice piercing through the quiet. "hey, you’re the commander’s daughter," 

you glance up, your sharp gaze catching hers for just a moment before you returned your attention back to the knights below. "and you are the princess," you replied, your voice steady.

she beams at you, completely unbothered by the formality in your words. "uh-huh!" she exclaims, plopping herself down beside you without asking. 

"which means you must be my knight." her grin is wide, innocent.

you blink, taken aback, your eyes flicking to her for only a second. "i am no knight," you say quietly, turning your attention back to the knights on the field, feeling their movements etch themselves into your memory.

"not yet," she corrected, "but you will be. you’re going to be the greatest knight in the whole kingdom!"

you don’t respond to her excitement. you’re quiet, your thoughts heavy and focused on the distant sparring knights. sophia’s words hang in the air, and they don’t quite reach you.

 instead, you continue to watch the training grounds, fascinated by the fluid wave of the knights’ movements, wondering if you’ll be able to stand to their level one day.

"why are you here, princess?" you ask after a moment, the question simple but with a curiosity behind it that you don’t usually show.

she shrugs, looking at the sky above. "because you looked lonely."

because you looked lonely.

you don’t say anything in response. you simply keep your gaze on the knights below. the boys who were once laughing and playing are now just faces in the distance, you don’t bother familiarising yourself with them anymore. 

"why are you so quiet?" she asks, a little puzzled, her voice dripping with concern.

you turn your eyes toward her, noting the genuine curiosity in her expression. "why are you so loud?" you counter, your tone even.

she giggles, a light sound that rings through the silent courtyard, warming your chest as you shifted in your spot. 

"someone has to be," she says, nudging you playfully with her shoulder.

for the first time, the smallest of smiles tugged at the corner of your lips, but it disappeared almost as quickly as it came.

"i’ve decided," sophia says suddenly, her voice full of determination. "you will be my most loyal knight.”

you exhale softly, not surprised, but amused by her certainty and boldness. "it’s not your choice, princess. there could be someone much better trained out there, compared to me."

but she doesn’t back down. she never will, as you’ve come to realise later on. "no, there won’t," she says firmly. "because when i am queen, i will command it."

you don’t answer right away. you just stared at her, gaze softened. this time, you do smile. just a small thing, barely there. but it was real. 

in that quiet moment, you realized that she did seal your fate. though for now, you are just children. for now, she smiles at you like you are the only thing in the world that mattered. and for now, that is enough.

—-

you stood in the training yard, the sound of clashing swords ringing in your ears, the weight of the blade in your hand grounded you to the moment. your father’s approval was always there, a quiet pressure in the back of your mind, and the thought of it kept you moving, kept you focused. every swing of the sword, every calculated step was done with purpose. you were determined, relentless. there was no room for anything else. 

you must prove yourself.

the other boys laugh and joke as they sparred, their voices light and careless, and you knew you can’t afford to be like them. they move with the ease of someone who knows that there will be another chance, but you? you don’t don’t have that luxury. you must be better, always better. every strike, every movement is a step closer to something you can’t even name yet, but something that feels like the only way to survive.

your father watched from the sidelines, his gaze unwavering, and you could feel it, sharp as a blade like always. it’s all the validation you need, even if you’ve never heard a word of praise. that was the way it’s always been.

and yet, as you pushed yourself, you felt something in the air shift, an uneasy weight. it’s the feeling of never being enough, no matter how many times you proved yourself.

and then that’s when you saw her—sophia, standing off to the side, leaning against the stone pillar, her eyes fixed on you. her gaze was unblinking, and there’s something in the way she watched that made your heart stutter.

you don’t want her attention. it feels too soft, too invasive, too vulnerable, in a way that makes the air around you feel more suffocating, heavier.

when you stopped for a moment, sweat dripping down your brow, she spoke. her voice cut through the silence, light but pointed. “you’re trying too hard.”

you froze for a moment, the weight of her words settling over you like a blanket. your first instinct was to brush it off, to shrug and say nothing and ignore her. but you can’t. couldn’t. not this time. 

instead, you wipe your brow and glanced at her briefly, offering only the barest of responses. “it’s how i’m taught. because if i don’t, someone else will be better.”

she doesn’t look surprised by your answer, just studied you in the way she does, her gaze never faltered. she stepped forward a little, her voice quieter now, a hint of something softer behind it.

 “and what if it’s not enough? what if being the best doesn’t make you happy?”

you felt  the question settle in your chest heavily and unfamiliar. it’s not something you’ve ever really allowed yourself to consider. happiness isn’t something that existesd here, not in the world where only the sharpest and most disciplined survived.

you looked at her funny, but didn't answer straight away. instead, you turned your attention back to the sparring knights, needing the distraction. needing to bury the question before it took root in your mind.

“it will.” you mutter, and you don’t let yourself dwell more about it, even if it felt wrong and foreign in your tongue.

there’s a long silence. you can feel her watching you, but you don’t turn to meet her gaze again. you focused on the sword in your hand and the weight of it, the way it felt like an extension of your body. 

it was the only thing that made sense right now.

but behind you, sophia doesn’t respond. she doesn’t argue, doesn’t push. because knew better than to believe your words. but you know that lingered, awaited for something—maybe for you to look at her again, to actually hear her.

you kept moving, movements sharp and precise, but even as you fought, there was something unsettled, something more than just the burn in your young muscles. a small, quiet part of you that wondered if she was right. but you couldn’t afford to stop and think about it. you’ve wasted too much time talking to her. so, you kept going, because that’s all you knew how to do.

yet.

—

over the years, you and sophia had grown closer in ways neither of you ever expected. when you were younger, the distance between the two of you had always been clear—but that that divide blurred, softened, throughout the years.

sophia’s playfulness never truly went away, but it had deepened, matured. that much you expected.

and you? you stayed calculated, still planned three steps ahead, but somewhere along the way, you had learned to let her in past your defenses.

at sixteen, the two of you were no longer just the princess and the daughter of the commander. you had become something else. friends, yes, but possibly something more. 

sophia had become someone you trusted, someone who understood the quiet moments between words, the way your mind never really stopped moving even in moments of peace.

and she had learned to meet you there.

sometimes, when she laughed, it would remind you of the way she used to be when she was younger—loud, carefree, like she had no care in the state of the world. 

but now, there was a certain softness to her, a calmness that reflected in the way she had matured over the years. she still teased you—that, you were sure will never go away—still pulled you into moments of silliness and you’d begrudgingly let her pull you in.

one afternoon, the sound of your father, calling out commands, echoed through the open space. 

he was pushing you harder than usual, the drills grew more intense, more demanding. you stood tall, your posture unwavering, sweat dripping down your brow as you went through each movement with practice.

 there was no room for error—every strike, every block, every step had to be perfect. it had to be perfect.

sophia, manon, and lara happened to be passing by, and as they approached, they couldn’t help but pause at the sight.

“oh, wow,” manon said, eyes widening in dramatic surprise as she stared at you. “look at y/n. she’s, like, all muscles now.”

lara squinted at you, her face a picture of exaggerated thoughtfulness. “right? definitely all muscles. i wonder if you run into her that she’ll just end up feeling like a wall. not to mention, god, she’s so pretty.”

sophia’s gaze shifted towards you, following the movements of your body, the way you moved with such focus and strength. she hadn’t realized how much you had changed over the years. the lean muscles in your arms, the way your body had grown from the thin, aloof child into someone far more charming.

and for a brief moment, she found herself staring. but it was different this time. it held her prisoner in the moment, unable to look away.

however, she quickly snapped out of it, cheeks flushing a little as she tried to laugh it off, but her gaze kept returning to you. there was something about the way you moved—so disciplined, so intense.

“what are you staring at, princess?” manon teased, nudging sophia’s side with her elbow.

“nothing!” sophia replied a little too loudly, trying to mask her sudden fluster and red cheeks with a laugh. “i—i’m just... uh, just admiring the, uh… the…te.. technique! the technique! it’s impressive, okay?”

lara snickered, crossing her arms. “sophia’s got it bad,” she said in a sing-song voice. “someone’s in love.” the rajagopalan dynasty’s princess dragged out.

“i’m not in love!” sophia quickly protested, her voice a little too high-pitched to be convincing. “i’m just—look, it’s just hard not to notice, okay? she’s... all grown up. and... very focused.”

meanwhile, you were blissfully unaware of the ongoing conversation, too deep in your training to care. your father, watching from the sidelines, was doing his best to hide the smirk creeping onto his face.

 he crossed his arms, eyes twinkling with a mix of pride and mild amusement as he watched sophia try to hide her flustered expression from her friends’ teasing.

"y/n!" he called out, his voice thundering throughout the courtyard. "stop getting distracted. focus!"

confused at his sudden outburst despite the fact that you were focusing, you immediately snapped back to your drill, adjusting your stance and continuing the movements without a second thought. 

sophia quickly looked away, her face turning a shade redder than usual as manon and lara fought to keep their grins in check.

“yep, totally not in love,” lara whispered to manon with a wink.

“she’s definitely not in love,” manon whispered back, both of them now completely absorbed in watching sophia squirm at their words.

your father caught the exchange out of the corner of his eye once again, though he pretended to ignore it. his lips that had had let the smirk spread, but his gaze never wavered from you as he called out again, “again, y/n. one more time. don’t get sloppy now.”

you didn’t notice a thing, of course. you were too focused on keeping up with your father’s rigorous pace to pay any attention to sophia and her friends. but sophia? sophia would never quite forget the way she had found herself staring a little too long at the girl she had known since she was a child—the girl who was now possibly so much more than that.

and as they walked away, manon leaning in to whisper something to lara, sophia’s thoughts were a little scattered, her eyes flicking up to you one last time before she hurried to catch up.

your father watched her go with a raised eyebrow, amusement barely hidden. "you're doing well, y/n," he said, his voice steady, though there was a knowing glint in his eye.

you nodded, eyes trained on your sword. "thanks, father."

and somewhere, deep down, you couldn't help but wonder why everyone else seemed to be so focused on you all of a sudden.

–

a week later, sleep had evaded sophia. the nights seemed longer lately, and her thoughts tangled in ways she didn’t want to admit. the silence in her room only made the restlessness worse, so she decided to take a late night stroll through the castle’s endless corridors. 

wrapped in a loose nightgown, her bare feet were quiet against the stone floors, she wandered aimlessly, letting her mind travel wherever it pleased.

the castle at night was always quiet, eerily so, and sophia liked it that way. but tonight, there was something almost peaceful in the quiet. that was until she reached the courtyard.

through the large arched windows, she saw a figure moving against the night sky. it was you—no doubt about it—still training, despite the late hour. 

your tunic was soaked with sweat, clinging to your skin as you moved through the steps of another drill, oblivious to the time.

sophia stood there for a moment, watching you with furrowed brows. she could feel the cool night air brush her skin, but there you were, perfectly in sync with your movements, as if it was any other day.

she shook her head, biting back a smile. "this is ridiculous." she mumbled to herself.

with a deep breath—hyping herself up to talk to you—, she stepped forward, her bare feet making almost no sound as she moved through the dark courtyard. 

her eyes locked onto you, and she steeled her shoulders, walking up to you with the kind of authority only a princess could carry, even in her sleepwear.

"y/n!" she called, loud enough to break the quiet and peace of the night. "stop!" you didn’t hear her at first.

"sophia," you muttered to yourself, barely pausing to look in her direction, blinking confusedly. 

sophia raised an eyebrow, huffing with mock irritation. "i said stop." she repeated when she caught your arm attempting to swing again. 

this time, her voice had a firmness to it, and you finally turned, sparing her a glance. your expression was neutral, almost bored as you stared back at her.

"i'm not stopping," you said, the words clear and defiant as you wiped the sweat from your forehead. you changed stances, readying for the next move.

sophia crossed her arms, her lips curving into a smirk. smug. "you’ll stop because i’m ordering you to."

you narrowed your eyes, raising an eyebrow. "really? you’re going to pull rank on me at this hour?"

sophia hesitated, looking at you in disbelief for a moment before giving a dramatic sigh. "fine, i won’t ‘order’ you. but can you at least take a break? i’m surprised you even know how late it is now."

you didn’t immediately respond, and instead, you moved into another series of attacks, form still perfectly sharp.

"y/n," she tried again, this time with an exaggerated whine. "you’re going to wake the whole castle with your...your… clanging!"

surprisingly, you actually stopped. rolling your eyes as you set the sword down. you were beyond exhausted, but you refused to show it.

"whatever, princess. go ahead and get your beauty sleep," you said, feigning indifference. “don’t want to wake up the whole castle, after all.”

sophia couldn’t help but laugh at your sarcasm. "are you always this annoying?" she asked, her voice filled with teasing, though there was a glint of something else. something less playful, more... curious.

you turned your head just slightly, avoiding her eyes. "i’m not annoying. you’re just tired. go back to bed before you wake up your entire kingdom."

sophia blinked, suddenly remembering something that had been bugging her all night. "speaking of which," she said, "why are you even still training this late? don’t you know it's a new moon tonight?"

 she waved her hand vaguely toward the sky. "it’s literally so dark out here, y/n. like, how are you even seeing anything?"

you paused, staring at her. "are you... are you really asking me if i can see in the dark? do you not know that knights are trained to fight in all conditions?"

she leaned back slightly, exaggeratedly inspecting the sky. "yeah, well... i thought maybe you were secretly a bat or something. you know, like, using echolocation to fight? you could probably just echolocate the entire castle and then—"

you blinked, completely deadpan. "okay, no. what are you even talking about right now?"

sophia let out a snort of laughter at the absurdity of it all, her eyes lighting up as she giggled louder than she had meant to. 

louder than she expected, louder than what was probably necessary. for a moment, everything seemed to stop, until she could feel the sudden tension in the space between you two.

you stared at her, eyes wide in confusion, your face heating up with the weirdest mixture of annoyance and... something. 

 "what? why… why are you laughing?" you asked, furrowing your brows, your lips threatening to form a scowl, but failing.

"i just—echolocation," sophia giggled, clutching her sides, her eyes twinkling in the moonlight. "that’s just... i don’t even know where to start with that, but it’s so funny!"

you quickly turned away, trying to keep your expression neutral, but your face flushed a deeper shade of red as you mumbled, "shut up, sophia. you’re gonna wake the whole castle with that laugh."

but even then, your words felt weaker than they should have. there was no bite behind them—just a strange sense of vulnerability in your voice, something you weren’t sure how to hide at the sound of her giggles. at the sound of her.

the sound of her laugh, free and unburdened, caught you off guard. it wasn’t the carefree laugh of a princess anymore,  it was something more. it was real. had your gaze softening and your shoulders hunching in the slightest.

and that’s when it hit you. her hair, dark and shining under the moonlight, seemed to shimmer, like it was dusted with stars. the pale moonlight painted her skin a soft silver, and her eyes, her eyes seemed to glint with a hidden amusement, the sort of amusement you could never quite figure out even if you’d wanted to.

then you felt a sudden warmth rising in your chest, and before you could stop it, your face flushed with embarrassment. you quickly looked away, determined not to show it.

sophia, still giggling to herself, barely heard the softness in your tone. she was too lost in the moment.

"maybe i should wake them up," sophia teased, voice light. "imagine all the knights running in to see what’s going on, and then they see you, the stoic commander’s daughter, getting made fun of because you could echolocate your sword moves—"

you cut her off, giving her an exaggerated sigh as you walked back to your training spot, trying your best to ignore the lingering laughter—her laughter— that hung in the air.

she didn’t seem to care, still beaming at you (like always), completely unaware of how her teasing had managed to chip away at your usual composure. you felt that odd warmth again, but this time you didn’t bother hiding it.

“stop laughing. you’re actually going to wake the whole castle this time.” your words came out sharper than you meant them to, but they lacked the firmness they usually carried. 

you were only half-serious, trying to hide the way your heart had skipped a beat. “you’re truly annoying, you know that?”

"absolutely," she replied, grinning ear to ear. "but don’t worry, i’m going to let you get back to your echolocation training now. just try not to wake up the entire castle next time, alright?"

“you try not to wake the entire castle up with your laugh.”you just waved her off, though there was a softness in your demeanor now, a quiet that wasn't quite like your usual aloofness. 

when you picked up your sword again, you could’ve sworn she had already noticed—maybe she was even smiling to herself—but you wouldn’t dare let her catch the flushed look on your face.

sophia made her way back toward the castle, humming a tune to herself. she’d never know how her laugh had done something to you. 

but tonight, it didn’t matter. sophia had just managed to make you feel something that she didn’t even realise she'd been doing all along.

—---

finding herself in the ever-so-lavish solar room of the castle a week later after the midnight run-in with you who had never really ended up bringing it up again, sophia found herself stuck and confined in the silk-lined walls with thread spools scattered around her in every unimaginable colour as she sat stiffly across her mother in the embroidered velvet chaise, early sun filtering through the open windows of the castle.

her mother coughs softly. “fifi, sweetheart, your debut’s just around the corner,” her highness, queen laforteza started, lips quirked into a small, knowing smile.

sophia’s hand stilled on the embroidery hoop perched on her lap, halfway through finishing the attempt to embroider the laforteza house crest—though one of the griffins looked like a lopsided duck instead.

sophia didn’t bother to muffle the groan that escaped her lips, dramatically dropping her head back to meet the golden edge of the chaise and bringing the hoop up to cover her face. “please don’t call it that.”

“don’t call what what?” her mother said innocently, threading a new color into her needle. “your debutante ball? your formal entrance into society?” she gasped, feigning shock. “your grand unveiling?”

“my god,” sophia muttered, dragging the needle through the fabric with a little more force than necessary, brows furrowing as she stared back at her mother unimpressed.

sophia wasn’t dumb. far from that. give her some credit. she knew exactly where this was going. her mother was inching toward the topic like it was some diplomatic strategy that her father had given her the task to look over, all smiles and cunning eyes. 

and of course, the first dance was at the center of it. which, to be fair, any mother would want to know in order to guarantee the safety of her daughter—and in this case, it was the one and only princess of the laforteza kingdom. 

not to mention the suitors. oh, for god’s sake, the suitors. they seemed to multiply with every passing day, letters stacked in neat little piles outside her room after a worker had done their daily rounds droppiung mails to each royal family, always signed too formally and written too stiffly. she sat up, continuing to work on her shit attempt at needlework.

she loathed it. just the mention of it makes her shiver. by god, she can’t deal with them. doesn’t even want to think about them approaching her next year because she knows for a fact that they will, because their ego just truly is at an all-time high whenever they lay eyes on her when really, sophia only knows the only reason why they do is because they either see her as a trophy, or the siren call of the throne.

her thoughts somehow drifted to you.

queen laforteza continued, arching a brow. “and have you thought about who your first dance might be with?” she asked, the question light and playful, but unmistakably pointed.

sophia didn’t look up from her needlework. “mom, my debut’s not until next year.”

“and you say that as if that gives me no reason at all to start planning now,” the queen said, voice airy. “you do know who your dear mother is, don’t you?”

sophia rolled her eyes. “you plan things like they’re battle strategies.”

“well,” her mother said, threading a perfect knot into the fabric, “i did grow up married to a war general. was his assisstant for quite some while too… still kind of am.”

sophia sighed, lips pressing into a thin line. “i’d rather have a sword in my hand than dance with any of those obnoxious lords who can’t even look me in the eye without turning into a puddle.”

“then who can?” her mother said gently. “there must be someone who doesn’t turn to dust under your stare.”

sophia hesitated. her fingers slowed against the hoop. her thoughts drifted to you once more. 

because she was right. god, was her mother right. 

someone can keep their composure perfectly still under her stare and dish it right back, who, even after all these years, never once broke eye contact unless sophia showed signs of discomfort at the exchange—not even when sophia was being absolutely ridiculous or bratty (asking you to play with her dolls with her when she damn well knew you were born with a sword in your hand).

she stayed quiet, not daring to utter your name. she’d have otherwise, were she in the comfort of her own room, but not here with her mother to hear and her too keen eyes peering at her. 

so instead, she stabbed the needle through the fabric a little too hard, forcing a shrug. “i don’t know. maybe i’ll just pick randomly and call it a day.”

the queen gave her a long look but said nothing. only smiled to herself, as if she already knew the answer and was simply waiting for her daughter to admit it out loud.

“alright.”

—

sophia had felt suffocated.

it was only 5 pm in the afternoon and she had already felt the life sucked out of her being after the particularly long session of tea etiquette, posture corrections, and painfully long lessons on “how to cross one’s ankles like a proper lady.” 

which after being dismissed by her etiquette teacher—an old, stern woman who looked as though she’d been plucked from the dustiest corner of the royal library—she made a beeline to where she knew you’d be, eager to run away from the woman’s judging gaze and almost tripping over the skirt of her dress.

she needed air. so in turn, she needed you.

“hey, echolocating knight-in-training, come with me.” her voice was soft and amused as it echoed across the courtyard, breaking your focus just enough. 

you were in the middle of footwork drills as your eyes flicked up toward her, finding her leaning lazily against one of the stone pillars to your right, her silk, pastel pink dress catching the breeze.

she smiled at you, open and easy, albeit a little smug—and you had to suppress the involuntary shiver that crept up your spine at the sickly sweet sight.

you scoffed, unamused. “and why should i?” 

sophia chuckled, shaking her head as she pushed off where she’d been leaning on the pillar and made her way to you, footsteps light. 

you halted your practice, wiping your chin dry of sweat that ran down your cheek. “you forget yourself, y/n.”

“you forget your princess.” 

then, without explanation, she extended her hand out to you, palm tilted slightly upward, waiting. you stared at it blankly, caught off guard by the sudden movement. 

your eyes flicked between her hand and her face, trying to piece together what on earth she was doing. “what are you—”

“kiss the back of my hand, you idiot. gentlemen do it all the time as a greeting.” she wiggled her fingers impatiently, eyes squinting at you with a barely concealed amusement. 

“guess we can’t say the same for you.”

you groaned but took her hand anyway, your fingers rough and calloused from years of hard work—one she’d closely watched—asharp contrast to her soft, perfumed skin. 

you brought it to your lips with a gentleness that surprised her, brushing them across the back of her hand with the kind of reverence usually reserved for sacred things, or those in higher rank than you are.

sophia’s breath caught, just for a second.

she hadn’t expected that.

she’d thought she could handle it. it was just a joke, a moment of teasing. she didn’t except you to actually go through with it.

her etiquette teacher had done it to demonstrate, and sophia hadn’t blinked then—possibly because she was a fossil—. but this? this was you, and her heart had the audacity to trip at the way your lips touched her skin.

“i’m not a man,” you muttered, your voice low and even, but your grip on her hand stayed careful, firm. you paused, then added softly, “i’m a woman.”

it shouldn’t have made her stomach flip. but it did.

her cheeks flushed, heat crawling up her neck as she yanked her hand back, clearing her throat. “well. clearly.”

you shot her an ‘are you kidding?’ stare, sighing softly at her interrupting your practice once again. a daily occurrence that you should’ve been used to by now. 

“so, where are we going?”

sophia spun around before you could read her expression too closely. “the gardens,” she said over her shoulder, pretending like her face wasn’t on fire. 

“and the lake. i’m tired of breathing in dust and listening to lady maribelle complain about my posture.”

you trailed behind her as she walked ahead, arms swinging with a freedom that had you quietly smiling to yourself.

the gardens were nearly empty by the time you and sophia reached them, the sky shifting into shades of orange and yellow as the sun began to dip behind the castle walls. the breeze smelled faintly of roses and lavender.

but sophia didn’t stop to admire them—she’d seen them way too many times to gag over them. she kept walking ahead, skirts gathered in her fists, guiding you down the stone path that led behind the hedges and past the willow trees, straight toward the lake.

“...we’re not just going to look at the water, are we?” you asked warily, already eyeing the small wooden boats bobbing at the dock.

sophia glanced over her shoulder, her grin suspiciously wide, eyes crinkled into crescents. “nope.”

“please tell me you’re not expecting me to—”

“get in the boat,” she sang sweetly, already stepping onto the dock and reaching for the nearest one painted gold.

you didn’t move. “sophia, i’ve been training all day.”

“and this is me rewarding you.” she turned and held out her hand again—not to be kissed this time, but to tug you forward. “you can row me around like a charming little gondolier.”

you sighed, staring at her like she’d grown two heads. “i hate you.”

“and yet, here you are.” she tilted her chin with mock arrogance, eyes glinting.

you groaned under your breath but followed her anyway, climbing awkwardly into the boat while she settled into the seat like it was the throne/, fingers trailing through the water. you grabbed the oars begrudgingly, shooting her a tired glare that only made her giggle.

fuck.

“you know,” she said after a few minutes of quiet rowing, “you’ve got a nice rhythm. maybe you were a sailor in another life.”

you raised an eyebrow. intrigued. “a sailor?”

“mhm. gruff voice. tragic, tragic past. always looking at the horizon like you’ve got unimaginable memories out at sea.”

you snorted. “you’ve clearly read too many romance novels. now i know why you spend too much time in the library with your nose buried in a book.”

she leaned back in the seat, eyes closing for a moment as the breeze sifted through her hair. “and you clearly don’t row me fast enough.”

you splashed her with one oar, just enough to make her yelp and sit upright, eyes wide.

“y/n!”

“oops.”

sophia narrowed her eyes but was still smiling, wiping her now-damp sleeve with playful offense. “you’ll pay for that.”

“good luck,” you muttered, rowing a little faster, trying to ignore the way your heart kept doing jumping jacks at how pretty she looked when she was mock pouting, sunsett dusting her skin like gold, water around her glowing.

you told yourself it was just exhaustion. 

definitely not the way she kept watching you with that quiet amusement, like she could see right through you. like she always had.

—---

the solar room hadn’t changed at all. the same velvet cushions. the same lace-curtained windows. the same faint scent of lavender and rosewater that clung to the cushions, the walls, even the thread in sophia’s embroidery hoop. 

the only real difference was the tapestry she was working on—no longer clumsy or full of crooked stitches, but neat, straight.

and her mother, of course, still sat across from her, spine perfectly straight, pale blue gown immaculately laid around her, with her embroidery in hand and a glint in her eye that made sophia immediately suspicious.

“dearest, your actual debut’s around the corner now,” queen laforteza said, voice lilting and casual. too casual, she’d dare say.

sophia didn’t even look up from her stitching, words tugging at a memory she hadn’t planned on revisiting. 

suddenly, she was seventeen again, hands clumsy, posture slouched, hiding behind a half-finished crest while her mother teased her about first dances and suitors.

the memory irked her slightly. especially because nothing had changed, and yet everything had. if that made sense.

“have you picked out who’ll be your first dance now?” the queen added, sipping her tea like she didn’t already have a shortlist of eager young noblemen memorised from months ago as she requested for names of those interested.

sophia hummed, tying a knot in her thread with practiced ease. “i’ll just have basil as my first dance.”

that got her mother’s attention. the queen blinked, lowering her teacup mid-sip. “wait, but your brother—”

“i’ve already talked about it to him,” sophia said calmly. “he said he was fine with it. didn’t feel comfortable enough to have someone else dance me instead. i could’ve ask father to do it too, but i fear he’s already got too much on his plate. with the new knight recruits and all.”

her mother didn’t respond right away, which was rare. she simply studied sophia for a moment, as if trying to uncover whether her daughter was being genuine—or evasive.

“sweets,” she said after a beat, “are you sure you don’t want to pick a noble to be your first dance instead? i heard marquess barretto’s son leon, is interested.”

sophia groanef immediately, slumping slightly despite her attempt to stay firm. “mother, leon barretto wears more perfume than i do and nearly tripped on my gown last week trying to kiss my hand. i’d rather drown in the lake.”

her mother pressed her lips together, clearly trying not to laugh. “he’s not that bad.”

“he’s that bad,” sophia deadpanned, finally setting her embroidery hoop down in her lap. 

“besides, it’s not like the first dance has to be romantic. it’s ceremonial. traditional. it doesn’t mean anything.”

“it used to,” her mother said gently.

what she didn’t say was that the idea of dancing with a stranger made her skin crawl. that the thought of twirling in a room full of watching eyes, arm in arm with someone she barely knew, made her chest tighten.

and maybe there was someone else she’d rather offer her hand to. someone who stood steady in the moonlight and made her laugh when she wasn’t supposed to. 

someone whose hands were rough and real and held hers like they were afraid to hurt her, like she was the most fragile thing in the whole world.

she found herself unable to articulate it into words again with her mother in the room. 

her mother watched her quietly for a long moment, then gave a soft sigh and returned to her embroidery. “well,” the queen murmured, “if basil steps on your toes, don’t say i didn’t warn you.”

sophia cracked a small, lopsided smile. “he won’t. and if he does, i’ll blame it on the wind.”

–

the golden sun hadn’t even finished crawling its way over the castle walls when you were dragged—half-asleep and wholly unwilling—up and off the bed to stand barefeet in your chamber, marble flooring cold against your feet.

you hated breaks in your training. hated breaks in general. hated stillness. they made you feel like a blade left out in the rain, dulled and useless. 

but as the king’s guard’s commander’s daughter, and more importantly, as the personal guard to the princess herself, you were expected to be rid of all training and any hard work the day before the debut of the king’s only daughter. 

so, instead of sparring or drilling or doing literally anything useful, you were subjected to a full day of tailoring that commenced at the break of dawn. stupid, stupid, tradition.

the fabric was heavy and foreign on your skin. the uniform was modeled after your father’s—same deep navy blue tones, same sharp gold embroidery stitched along the lapel and hem—but unlike his, yours bore no jewels, no medals, no markers of great achievement. 

it was a blank canvas, clean and awaiting, quiet proof that your legacy had not yet begun.

it’ll have one, one day. i’ll make sure of it.

now, hours later, you were only half in it. your jacket draped halfway up your shoulders, the sleeves rolled awkwardly around your arm as you stood at the edge of the training grounds, watching the new recruits go through their drills.

 it should’ve been you out there. every muscle in your body ached to move, to sweat, to strike.

“that’s what you’re gonna wear for the princess’s debut?” yunjin called out, amusement thick in her voice as she twirled her practice sword lazily.

 “wow, so fancy, y/n. unlike you, we have to stay in these heavy, uncomfortable pieces of metal.”

keeho laughed behind her, clutching his stomach in mock agony. “how’s a man supposed to pick a woman up in this?” 

he groaned, dragging a hand through his sweat-matted hair and down his face. “at this rate, you’ll sweep every single woman in the vicinity.”

you scowled, arms crossed over your half-dressed chestplate. “you’re there to support and show your loyalty to the kingdom. that armour is there to protect you in case something happens. you’re not there to pick up women, keeho.”

he gasped, utterly affronted. “god, you sound like my mother. geez.”

“maybe she’s smarter than you,” you muttered, and yunjin barked out a laugh.

truth be told, the uniform felt strange. it fit, sure, it had been measured to the bone, trimmed and cinched and hemmed perfectly to your body, but it wasn’t you. 

it felt like wearing someone else’s skin. someone softer. someone still figuring out who she was underneath the polished buttons and polished roles, made to perfection as overlooked by your father.

tomorrow, you wouldn’t be in the shadows like you always were. not with sophia standing in the middle of the grand ballroom, not with every noble eye on her, and by extension, on you.

you didn’t mind being her sword. her shield. her quiet. but you just weren’t sure how to be seen. 

still, as you watched your friends spar, the laughter between them easy and real, your hand tightened slightly on the edge of your sleeve. you could do this. you would.

because tomorrow wasn’t about you. it was about her. your princess. sophia. the same one who’d slowly chipped at your walls ever since she barged into your life all sunshine and rainbows.

and you’d wear this damn thing like it was yours. because sophia deserved someone who could stand beside her without cowering beneath the pressure of legacy. even if your uniform didn’t carry medals, your loyalty didn’t need stitching or .

—--

this was it.

the music slowed to a hush as the double doors opened, and all conversation stilled. heads turned, gowns rustled, fans fluttered shut. the grand ballroom, lit by towering chandeliers and flooded with golden candlelight, held its breath.

at the top of the staircase stood sophia.

she descended like something out of a painting—dressed in a gown that shimmered faintly with every step, the soft blue silk catching the light like moonlit water. 

her hair was pinned with delicate gold leaves, and her gloves, the palest cream, trembled just slightly as she reached the last few steps.

you were already there, waiting.

my god, of course you were.

you stood at the foot of the stairs, back straight, gloved hands behind your back until you extended one forward for her. 

your uniform, tailored and formal, fit you like a second skin, and though the medals were missing, your presence felt like its own badge of honour. sophia’s eyes found yours immediately, her expression unreadable but drawn—always drawn—to you.

a faint smile appears in her lips at the notice of your uniform matching hers.

she slipped her hand into yours.

gloved hand in gloved hand, you escorted her across the ballroom floor, past suitors and murmured gasps. your steps were steady. hers were lighter now, as if walking beside you was enough to melt the nerves off her spine.

you led her to her brother—basil, dutiful and already stepping forward with an awkward smile. sophia hesitated, only slightly, before she turned to you once more, her voice low. 

for you and for your ears only.

“wait for me?”

you gave her a nod. “always.”

then she turned, and basil offered his hand. the music swelled, and sophia began her first dance under the eyes of the kingdom.

—-

time passed. champagne flutes clinked, music floated high into the domed ceilings, and laughter curled around crystal chandeliers. 

you had tried, god you had tried, to disappear into the crowd after your brief appearance at her side, but your father had other plans. like always.

“you will socialise, y/n,” he’d said, placing an annoyingly firm hand on your shoulder before nudging you toward a young noblewoman who looked just as uninterested in the conversation as you were. 

he wanted you to make a name for yourself.

gabriela, she introduced herself. from some lord’s house you didn’t care to remember. sharp eyes, sweet but cunning smile. she was fine. too curious, maybe. too flirty.

you were halfway through a polite excuse when the music shifted again, and she reached for your hand.

and somehow, you let her.

you weren’t thinking. you were tired. you were overwhelmed. and the thought of getting yelled at again by your father had already made your shoulders tense. so, you danced. you gave in.

your first dance, ever. not with the person you'd wanted, not with the person you’d imagined, but still, a dance.

across the ballroom, sophia had just finished her second spin in the arms of her youngest brother, oreo, whose too small tux kept making her laugh between steps. 

she ruffled his hair after the last note and watched him scamper back to where the rest of the royal family was seated, cheeks flushed with pride.

then her smile fell.

because there you were. dancing.

not standing off to the side. not waiting for her like you said you would. always, my ass. but dancing, with someone else.

gabriela laughed at something you said. sophia could only assume it wasn’t even that funny—god, you’re not even that funny—and your hands were still joined, her other palm resting on your shoulder.

sophia didn’t even wait for the song to end.

she marched straight toward the drink table, lips pressed into a thin line, her expression far too aloof to be casual.

manon, trailing behind with lara following suit, raised a brow. “that was quick.”

“i need a drink,” sophia muttered.

“you just had a drink,” lara said, nursing a half-finished flute of champagne in one hand.

“i need a stronger drink,” she said, already eyeing manon. manon caught the implication.

she didn’t bother saying a word. just reached into the inside of her embellished cape and handed her a hip flask with all the ceremony of a royal decree.

sophia didn’t even blink. unscrewed it. took a slow sip. let the burn bloom across her tongue and down like acid into her stomach.

lara watched her carefully. “everything alright, soph?”

 sophia lowered the flask, eyes sharp as they slid across the ballroom to where you and gabriela were still dancing.

“peachy,” she said flatly. 

hands off. she knew that this woman could have anyone else, nd god, why did she have to pick you of all people? fuck, she might end up begging if she doesn’t let go og you anytime soon.

manon didn’t bother asking. she knew. so she just handed her another sip. and the two of them shared a look.

—-

“you know, fifi’s fond of you. like, really, really fond of you.”

your head turns to watch oreo under the moonlight. you’d found the king’s youngest child in the balcony after seeking for coolness and peace after the dance with gabriela and the chaos of being surrounded by nobles desperately wishing for sophia’s hand in marriage or for just a mere dance—which props to her, she’s only danced with her brothers. 

the fact settles you.

“she shouldn’t be.” your reply garnered a laugh from the boy, like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“but she is, though. it’s… unsettling, sometimes. makes me wonder if she’ll actually ever wind up finding a lord or something to date, because she spends too much time trying to, uh, what’s the word, have your friendship grow? i don’t know.. but you know, i just thought you’d want to know. ‘cause… yeah.”

you nodded, brows furrowing in thought as you leaned your elbows on the railing, lost as to why oreo, of all people, was telling you this. 

you’d barely talked to the boy before, and you’re more than sure that this is the first time you’d had a proper conversation—which just happened to be about sophia.

you weren’t surprised it was about her. not that you minded, anyway.

“i heard marquess barretto’s son might be a potential match.” you’d commented after a beat, and oreo hummed.

“yeah, i overheard them talking about it. don’t think fifi’s as fond of him as she is of you though.” he replies casually, like it wasn’t anything big of a deal.

the two of you stood outside for a few more moments in silence, comforted that you’d both reached an understanding and bridged a new friendship that was built upon the love and concern for sophia.

then he spoke. calm, slow, took his time. he wanted it to linger, that much you knew. every word enunciated firmly, yet heavily blanketed with warmth.

“i hope it’s you.”

—---

the ballroom had grown louder. brighter. unbearably warmer.

and somewhere between her second drink from manon’s flask and the half-glass of wine she’d sipped too quickly after, sophia lost sight of you again. she was a lightweight, surprisingly (not) enough.

the music spun and so did the chandelier, her steps a little less poised now as she slipped through groups of nobles, skirts brushing against her gown, their laughter buzzing like gnats in her ears.

her mind was foggy. her throat was dry. her eyes eere hazy. her head was a mix of bass, violin, and the sharp reminder of of your betrayal—irrational and sticky, crawling beneath her skin like fire. burning hotter than the liquor that ran down her throat.

you had danced with someone else.

her stomach twisted every time she thought of it. the way your hand had rested so easily on gabriela’s waist. the way you let her smile at you. like it was nothing. like it didn’t mean anything.

how dare you. 

how dare you dance with someone else that wasn’t her. it was her debut. her ball you were supposed to keep your eyes on her and her only. dance with her and her only. god, why didn’t you? you didn’t keep your promise.

you didn’t keep your promise.

her heel caught on the edge of someone’s coat and she stumbled forward with a sharp breath, hands out instinctively to grab onto something—and then—

“whoa—sophia—”

you caught her before she hit the floor, arms wrapping around her waist without hesitation. her gloved fingers curled into the front of your uniform, clinging, her cheek resting against your chest.

“you’re drunk,” you muttered under your breath, keeping it together like her close proximity didn’t do things to you. 

“am not,” she mumbled into your jacket, and then, louder, “you danced with someone else.”

you stiffened. “sophia—”

“you did,” she huffed, pulling back just enough to glare up at you. her eyes were glassy, but sharp with frustration. 

“i saw you. with that girl—gabby? gab—gabriela—manon told me.”

you hushed her immediately, grabbing her by the shoulders and casting a quick glance around. you’d already caught one or two nobles side-eyeing the princess in your arms, and the last thing anyone needed was this being tomorrow’s headline in the newspapers. 

no, your dad would kill you. the king would behead you. (you’re dramatic. but it’s a possibility.)

“we’re going,” you said, low and urgent, slipping an arm around her waist as she swayed again. “you’re done. come on.”

“don’t wanna go,” sophia slurred stubbornly, stumbling as you started to guide her through the crowd. “s’my party.”

“you can barely stand.”

“still mad.”

“don’t care.”

you maneuvered quickly, expertly, keeping your head down, fingers steady around her arm as you led her past the sweeping golden drapes and into one of the side corridors. 

the music dulled behind the ballroom doors. the cool air of the hall washed over you like waves, blessedly quiet.

sophia groaned dramatically as you pushed open the door to one of the unused sitting rooms. she sagged against you, like every ounce of tension had finally slipped from her bones the moment the door clicked shut behind you.

you helped her to the couch, kneeling in front of her to unclip her shoes as she flopped backwards, arms flung over the edge like a drowned, tragic poet. her tiara tilted sideways.

“you looked pretty,” she murmured suddenly into the quiet. “still look pretty.”

you froze. you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “…what?”

“in your uniform,” she mumbled, cheeks flushed from more than just the wine. her lashes fluttered. she wasn’t even aware she was saying this.

“made it hard to breathe, ‘cause you—” she made a vague gesture toward your body, eyes half-lidded as she watched you with softness. “just stood there with your jaw and your shoulders—and then you had to go and dance with someone who wasn’t me—”

you closed your eyes, took a slow, steady and calculated breath.

“i wasn’t thinking,” she continued, voice growing softer, more fragile around the edges, eroding like your walls around her. 

“and now i’m thinking too much and my head’s spinning and i hate that i care. i hate it. i hate it so much.”

you looked up at her.

and for a moment—just a moment—sophia laforteza didn’t look like a princess. she looked like a girl with a heart too full, slumped sideways in a chair that didn’t belong to her, whispering confessions she’d never dare say sober.

fuck.

“you need water,” you said finally, inhaling sharply.

“no. what i need,” she said, eyes fluttering closed again, “is for you to never dance with anyone else ever again.”

you blinked. your mouth opened. then closed.

“and, to kiss me.”

“what—”

too fast for how drunk she was, she grabbed  a fistful of your collar with ashaky, determined hand and pulled you down into her.

her lips crashed into yours—messy, heated, desperate. she kissed you like she was trying to memorise something with the urgency of someone afraid of forgetting. like she’d waited too long and couldn’t hold it in anymore. and for a second,

you kissed back. you actually kissed back.

because she was soft and flushed and trembling (scared you’ll push her off), and it was her. the girl who haunted your thoughts during drills. the girl who laughed like the world was hers, and somehow made you feel like it could be yours too.

that she could be yours.

but your hand caught her wrist gently, and you pulled away, breath uneven, your forehead resting against hers as she blinked in a daze.

she looked up at you then, hazy eyes widening, horror flickering across her expression like a crack in the sky. her lips parted, like she was about to say something—apologise, maybe, or backpedal into silence.

“hey,” you whispered, still close enough to feel the heat of her skin. “tell me who i am.”

she blinked, confused. “what?”

“tell me who i am, sophia. just…say it.”

she blinked once, then her brows furrowed with focus, her hand still twisted in your collar.

“y/n,” she said softly. “you’re… y/n. you’re my knight.”

“and your name is?”

she swallowed. “my name is princess sophia elizabeth guevara laforteza, 122th heir to the throne after my brother.”

and that was all you needed.

you exhaled a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. “okay,” you mumbled, almost to yourself, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. 

“okay… you understand. you’re not fully drunk yet.”

“yeah, no crap i am. what are you doing?” she asked breathlessly, voice low, still dazed.

you stepped back, gently but firmly, slipping her hand from your shirt and keeping your voice as steady as you could manage.

“we shouldn’t be doing this here,” you said. “someone could see.”

she didn’t argue. she didn’t tease. just nodded once, slow and sure, trusting you the same way she always had.

you led her out of the quiet room with a careful hand on her back, her weight leaning slightly against your side, every step quick and quiet as you took the back corridors—the ones only you and the guards knew—until you reached her bedchamber.

the door closed softly behind you. the room smelled like garden roses and her. 

you helped her out of her gown without a word, careful, respectful. she helped you out of your uniform, clumsy fingers and sleepy sighs. neither of you spoke of what it meant and what it stood for next.

she curled into your side not long after, head pressed against your shoulder, bare legs tangled under silk sheets, devotion silent in the night.

—-

basil approached you the next day. you knew what he was there for before he could ask you. like oreo, you and him had a different kind of understanding. quiet and aloof, but close acquaintances. 

he’d told you about his distaste for becoming the king, and how he’d pass the throne onto sophia the moment he’d been deemed worthy enough to lead his own royal guard. 

“sophia disappeared sometime yesterday night in the party. were you with her?” always quick to the point, basil was. he never liked a chase.

you respected that about him.

you nodded curtly. you knew better than to lie. you watched him take note of the faint, dark purple mark on your neck, tucked away beneath the collar of your tunic. the corner of his lips curled up a fraction.

“i was with her, yes.”

“in more ways than one, i presume.”

your lips pressed into a thin line, throat bobbing. he chuckles softly. “it’s fine, y/n. ease up. i’m glad it was you, and not one of those snobby lords.”

a scoff was pulled from your throat, though it was more of an amused sound. “your sister knows better than that. she’s a woman that knows what she wants.”

“what she wants and what she gets.” he commented, and you nodded.

a beat passed. neither of you spoke. you both watch the movements of the knights-in-training. watched a younger knight fumble his footwork while yunjin shouted at him, keeho cackling in the background.

you don’t feel guilty about being interrupted.

then basil shifted beside you, voice softer. “i trust you wouldn’t break her heart.”

your brows furrowed, the thought that he’d even think that was insulting and offensive to everything you stood for. for the kingdom.  for oath. for her. 

you shot him a glance that morphed into a glare. “if anything, it’d be her that’ll be breaking my heart. she hasn’t said a word to me since we woke up this morning.”

his gaze followed yours and caught sight of sophia.

she was approaching the training grounds, walking with purpose, blue day dress trailing slightly behind her, sunlight wrapping itself around her like she were a daughter of the sun, glowing, radiant.

she didn’t belong anywhere near the battlefield. if anything, she looked like she belonged to you.

basil gave a low whistle, already stepping back. “then i guess i’ll leave you to it.” he gave your shoulder a brief, meaningful squeeze. “good luck.”

you swallowed, throat tight, and turned just as she stepped in front of you, her hands clasped neatly in front of her.

you opened your mouth, not knowing what to say—only for her to speak first.

“can we talk?”

you nodded wordlessly, following her as she led you away from the noise, around the stone corridor that wrapped behind the courtyard, until it was just the two of you. 

quiet, save for the faint echo of swords meeting shields in the background.

she turned to you slowly, nervous, but determined nonetheless. “you thought i wouldn’t remember.”

to be frank, you hadn’t expected her to come. not after how quickly she’d disappeared that morning. not after she couldn’t even look at you when she slipped out of bed.

you looked away. “you were drunk.”

“not drunk enough,” she said. “i remember all of it. i remember everything.”

you stayed silent.

“you looked like you thought it was a mistake,” you finally said, voice low. “and it’s fine, sophia. it was a mistake. a lapse in my judgement, and i shouldn’t have let it happen or initiated anything.

her brows furrowed, eyes darkening. not with anger, but something deeper. hurt.

“it wasn’t,” she said. “not for me.”

your breath hitched. she stepped closer, her voice quieter now, the words meant for your ears only.

“i tried so hard to remember everything, y/n. not because i was scared i did something wrong. but because i wanted to remember it. all of it. i was scared of forgetting the feeling of your warmth against mine, scared to forget how it felt like i truly did belong somewhere with someone.”

her hand hovered, brushed your sleeve. she gulped, eyes looking up at you with silent begging, desperation. she needed to hear you reciprocate the feelings that had been gnawing at her since your first meeting.

“i love you, y/n.”

she can’t be the only one who felt it. and she was right.

“i love you more, sophia. ever since that night in the courtyard, where you fucked around teasing me about echolocation,” she laughed softly at the mention, “i’ve loved you ever since.”

your hand moved, 

she leaned into your touch like she’d been waiting for it all her life—like your palm on her cheek was a missing piece she hadn’t known she was missing until it fit just right.

“say it again,” she whispered, barely audible. her lashes fluttered, her eyes on your lips.

you didn’t hesitate. “i love you.”

sophia smiled. soft, genuine. the kind of smile that stripped her of title, crown, and duty. just sophia. just yours.

then she surged forward, pressing her lips to yours in a kiss that felt like a promise kept. it was slower than last night. no desperation, no effects of wine. just certainty. it was clear and steady and warm, it was everything sophia is.

when she pulled away, your hand still holding her face like she might vanish, she exhaled shakily. “i thought you hated me this morning.”

“i thought you regretted it,” you said, your voice rough with emotion you barely understood how to carry.

“never,” she replied, and it was immediate. “i regret not doing it sooner.”

you let out a breath of disbelief, a soft laugh that cracked at the edges. “you’re a freak.”

“you love me for it.”

“unfortunately.”

she grinned and bumped your shoulder with hers, fingers drifting down to take your hand in hers, entwining them easily like it was something as natural as breathing.

you decide that honour and loyalty aren’t the reason to fight for the kingdom anymore. sophia is now everything you stood for.

—-

you were both twenty when the first declaration of war from a neighboring empire had been announced. it was everywhere. in the newspapers, down to the leaflets and the frantic whispers threading through the markets and corridors of the kingdom. the empire of eyekonia hath declared war.

it struck like lightning. swift, absolute, and deafening. the court held emergency councils. generals moved like shadows through the halls. flags were lowered, then raised again under tighter command. the world sophia knew shifted beneath her feet.

she didn’t care about strategy or supply lines or how many allies the crown could still call on.

all she could think about was you.

sophia had found you in the eastern wing, halfway through your patrol, and without a word, she grabbed the back of your tunic, dragging you quietly, urgently, through the stone halls, past startled servants and guards who knew better than to speak up. 

she didn’t stop until she found an unused meeting room, where the shutters were drawn and the heavy oak door groaned under the force she slammed it with. you stumbled inside after her, confused, the back of your shirt still wrinkled where her fingers had clutched it tight.

it had been a year since you both started seeing each other in secret. a year since that fated night that linked you together for an eternity, a year since she’d relished in the comfort of your presence. 

she didn’t say anything at first. just paced the room, fingers trembling ever so slightly, her breath coming in uneven bursts. and when she finally turned to look at you, her eyes burned—not with fury, but with something far worse: desperation.

“you’re not fighting the front lines, are you?”

you blinked. the question caught you off guard. truly. but then the weight of it crashed into you like a tidal wave. the news, the fear, the look in her eyes.

you stepped forward slowly, shaking your head. “no. my duty lies with protecting you.”

her body deflated in an instant, all the tension draining from her shoulders like a storm finally passing. she crossed the room in two quick strides, arms wrapping around your waist like she could shield you from the news of the war and the war itself.

she could stay like this forever.

“thank god,” she whispered into your chest. “i thought—”

“i know.” you murmured, pressing your lips against her hair.

you didn’t tell her how your father had been summoned to the war room before sunrise. how he’d returned with a rare look of relief in his eyes, saying that the king had other plans. that you, your father, and basil—who finally got his wish of his own royal knights and got the approval of the king to step down from becoming king—were to remain behind, at the palace.

“the frontline is no place for heirs or shields,” the king had said. “the royal family must be guarded. my blood must be protected. and sophia… she will need people she trusts.”

you had bowed. not for the kingdom. not even for the king. but because of her.

“i’m not going anywhere.” you’d whispered, feeling her arms tighten around you and nuzzling further into your neck like she’s trying to mold you both into one, warm breath fanning against your skin gently, grounding you. “i’m not going anywhere.”

“promise?”

“promise.”

—-

you were both twenty-two years of age—two years into the war with the empire of eyekonia, and the kingdom was bleeding. losing men like they were mere numbers on a scale, names carved into stone more often than into medals. they were dropping like flies on foreign soil, dying for oaths that no longer felt like promises, but debts too heavy to repay.

and you—ever composed, ever sharp—you were unraveling. slowly. quietly. like silk being pulled from the hem.

your restless nights didn’t go unnoticed. not to sophia.

she noticed the determination and focus in your eyes whenever you’d all meet up in the great hall to talk strategies for the way, the way your leg bounced up and down in an agitated tic,  barely perceptible beneath your uniform—too subtle for those who’d merely glance your way. but not sophia.

never sophia.

she’d prided herself with knowing you better than yourself. the rhythm of your breaths. the slight dip in your voice when you were trying to keep emotion at bay. 

the way you bit the inside of your cheek—not out of anxiety, but out of restraint—whenever someone proposed a strategy that would cost more lives than it should, before promptly leaning forward in your seat and shaking your head because the men aren’t just casualties that racked up numbers. 

and then you’d lean forward in your seat, voice calm but firm, always with that same line: "there has to be another way."

because to you, the men weren’t pawns.

they were names. faces. boys you’d trained with. soldiers who greeted you in the early hours, who held open doors and passed messages and laughed at keeho and yunjin’s bad jokes. men who had families, stories, dreams. they were men who you’d seen each day, given empowering speeches to and playfully cheering after. 

they were your men as much as they are hers and the kingdom’s.

and sophia—she would watch you from across the room, something tender and painful blooming in her chest. because she knew what it cost you to care this much. and she loved you all the more for it.

noticed the way you’d softened through the years, the way you’d let yourself feel and show more feelings, instead of casting them away in a bottle and hiding it under a chest you won’t ever open, leaving the lock for generations and generations to look for.

noticed the way you’d been treading carefully around the idea of joining the front lines, not wanting to sit back and watch as the kingdom fell apart around you that could potentially risk the royal family’s life. sophia’s life. 

noticed the way you steeled yourself whenever numbers of lives lost were brought back to you at the end of the way, and sophia could feel her resolve that hung by a thread shaking, because she just cannot afford to have you, the person she’d lost nights to, rolling in bed and giggling like a teenager in love. 

you, the person who used to be too scared to sleep in the same bed as her given the fact that you’d already slept together before, all unusually meek and unsure of your actions when you’d always been so sure of yourself. 

you, who she was sure she’d spend the rest of her life with, have a family, grow old together and die beside each other. you who she wanted to marry.

and you, who she cannot afford to be a mere statistic of the kingdom’s casualties in a war she didn’t want. a victim to her father’s ambitious plans.

she feels sick.

she cannot fathom the thought of you out there, all alone while you stood in foreign soil soaked with the kingdom’s blood, away from the castle walls where she could keep you safe, away from her, away from the promise of forever. of a life with her.

she knew you were trained for this. it was a huge factor as to how you’d reached the levels and earned your place in the kingdom—and more importantly, a seat in the great hall where the king and queen, their oldest son, close advisers and commanders, and her, the heir, all gathered. you got there not because your father is one of the king’s trusted advisor, but because you worked for it.

she couldn’t look at you properly that night. couldn’t even face you in the bed as you both laid next to each other, eyes wide open and sleep not planning on visiting your eyelids soon. a lump formed in her throat and her limbs moved before she knew it, propping herself up on her elbows to sit up on the bed, back flushed to the headboard. 

she watched you do the same. watched as you silently sat up next to her, adjusted the covers on top of her to make sure she’s hidden away from the cold. the action oddly spikes annoyance in her.

because how dare you. how dare you have thoughts of leaving the kingdom. leaving her behind to walk men to their demise because of her father’s foolish, ambitious plans that had dragged everyone into its whirlwind? how dare you have those thoughts and not tell her? how dare you ingrain the image of her waking up to an empty side of your bed, of leaving without telling her, just to hear word of your passing in her mind?

how dare you assume she doesn’t know you well enough not to notice.

“will you ever marry me?” 

the question lands flat. your lips parted in a moment of surprise, eyes widening slightly at how blunt she’d been. she looks tired of everything, and rightfully so. she’d been tired of the war, of the stench of male ego to strike up a treaty to stop the killing, and even so of the unnamed and unfinished promise of forever with you.

she doesn’t know how much longer she has you before you tell her you want to go to war.

her eyes tear up, hot tears rolling down her cheeks as you stayed silent, fingers twitching but not reaching out. just watching. just watching as the fabric of her nightgown dampened and grew darker in colour as tears fell. 

she hates how she leans in almost immediately at your touch on her cheek, pressing her face in your palm and god, she’d never been this vulnerable before. she gets why you hate it.

“of course i will.”

“but will you, though? because at this rate, i’m scared that i’ll keep waiting and waiting and waiting for you, and i will, because i love you—and i cherish you more than anything in this world—and that there’ll be a time that’ll come where you won’t—you won’t even be here, because i see it in your eyes. i see how much you want to fight the empire, even if right now, it seems like a lost cause. i see how much you look like you’re ready to choose the kingdom over me and i’m scared because i know that once you put your mind to it, that you will. and i’m scared because i know you have the capability to. and most of all, i’m scared that one day, i’ll wake up and you’re not even going to be here anymore. that you won’t be here to hug me when you know i need it without telling you to, to listen to me ramble on and on about something unnecessary, that you won’t be here when i need you the most. and i’m going to be stuck here, because god knows i cannot and will never find another to love. because you’d carved yourself into every. single. piece. of me. and i’ll never forget you. i don’t ever want to forget you.”

you don’t know when it started. sophia was too busy pouring her heart out to take notice, too, when you started pouring your eyes out. it hadn’t dawned on you, until now, that she’d always be waiting for you to come home, wherever you go, whatever you do. the realisation makes your heart weep.

you grasp her hands, tears streaming down your face just as much as the ones rolling down her flushed cheeks, hot to touch, and kiss her empty ring finger. 

“i promise to you, that when the war ends and we can breathe easily and freely again, that i will marry you. this is my oath to you, my heart, that i will make you my wife the moment i can, and we shall live the rest of our lives together. maybe build a family, even turn the garden much bigger as you wish. we’ll have the rest of our lives to figure out what we’ll do together.”

and sophia finally feels like she could breathe. 

—

you were both twenty-three when things had looked even more grim than before, and twenty-four when you decided that there was no better time than now to enter the battlefield, four years after the war had been declared. 

sophia sat stiffly. you both knew this day would come. it was just a matter of if or when, and you’d picked the day a week before your twenty-fifth birthday. sophia had wanted to spend time with you on your birthday, do as best she could while the kingdom slowly crumbled into shambles, try and focus on something else that wasn’t stained with blood.

but now here you are, dropping the decision on her lap like it wasn’t anything heavy. like you didn’t just tell her that you’ll be off to the thorny battlefield that swam with dead bodies. 

would she really ever have the chance to marry you? to slip the ring in your finger and for you to slip the ring in hers, branding you to have a lifetime of love ahead of you? would she ever see you grow old beside her, all wrinkles and gray hairs, and a tired yet content smile on your lips as you watched your grandchildren—if you somehow manage to have children—run around the garden, otherwise, you’ll be watching either basil or oreo’s grandchildren.

she doesn’t know what was worse, not spending a lifetime with you, or you wrapped in death’s embrace somewhere in a place she couldn’t reach.

she decides its both. because it doesn’t give her you, either way.

SOPHIA’S POV.

you tell me you’re leaving like it’s a simple thing, like the ground won’t open up beneath me the second you’re gone.

i don’t cry anymore. i just sit there, watching you, memorizing every detail—the slope of your shoulders, the way your fingers curl restlessly against your knee, like maybe some part of you is afraid too.

“don’t look at me like that,” you whispered.

but how else am i supposed to look at you? how else am i supposed to let you go?

when you’re gone, the earth will have you. it will hold you tighter than i ever could, wrap you up in its quiet, endless embrace. and i will be left here, hollow, staring at the ground beneath my feet and hating it for having what i lost.

if you must die, i'll envy even the earth that wraps your body.

—--

it had been a week since you’d left for the war. you’d already turned twenty-five.

 your father had struck up a deal with one of the advisors from the empire of eyekonia, and wished to send troops to seek if the empire will hold up their line of the bargain. and the king—after a lot of nagging and persistence on basil’s end—had begrudgingly allowed his eldest son to come with his troops on stand-by beside your own. 

keeho and yunjin looked uneasy and queasy on the way to the empire. the week had gone by quick, and thanks to your expertise and basil’s troops who had served as reinforcements, quickly wiped the enemy troops down, not a single knight sat on their horse unscathed or untouched by stains of blood. you yourself had suffered a deep gash wrapped tightly in bandage.

you stopped your horse just in front of the seemingly barren castle gates of the empire. it was daunting, the beheaded troops of your kingdom sat decomposing on pikes and up for display for everyone to see. you heard somebody retching behind you. basil rides his horse to stand beside yours.

“the sun is setting. we should set up camp near and leave this till the morning. i have a bad feeling about this.” you shook your head at his statement, wanting to get the whole thing done and over with, so you could go home to sophia and celebrate your twenty-fifth with her.

“no, stay here. i’ll go check it out.”

“absolutely not. i’ll come with you.” 

you stared at the eldest royal sibling with furrowed brows, and after coming into terms that he wouldn’t back down, you relented, sighing deeply and hopping off your horse, patting the animal and glancing at yunjin and keeho.

“keeho. come. basil, take four of your men. yunjin, i’ll leave you in charge of the rest, keep an eye out for anything and shout if something happens. we’ll go check what we’re dealing with.”

everything felt wrong. from the moment you, basil, keeho, and four of basil’s men stepped foot in the courtyard with the rest of the forces outside the wide open castle gates, everything felt damn still and wrong.

there were no guards who greeted you. no banners waved. the gates stood open like a mouth waiting to swallow. and the air—god, even the air was dead.

"stay close," you’d muttered, hand never straying from the hilt of your blade.

you didn’t like it. none of you did. but orders were orders. and your fathe had sworn the eyekonian emperor’s closest advisor was loyal to ending the four year long war. she had extended a rare, desperate olive branch: a treaty, drafted in secrecy and sealed with royal insignias.

she was supposed to meet you. and she did.

but when she appeared at the top of the stairs leading to the dining hall, something in your gut coiled. she was too poised. too calm. and her green, sharp eyes lingered on you just a little too long.

still, you followed her. you had no choice but to. for the kingdom and for sophia. through the dust-slick halls that seemed to have not had a single soul clean it since the start of time. through the grand entryway of the dining chamber where a feast had been laid but left untouched. like it was meant for someone else.

you could cut the tension in the air with your sword. basil’s fingers twitched. keeho’s jaw was locked. none of the other men spoke.

"the treaty?" she asked silkily, voice echoing around the stone chamber.

you reached into your coat, pulling the sealed scroll and stepping forward. “from king laforteza. a formal end to the war, by decree of both kingdoms.”

you extended it with care, but she didn’t reach for it.

instead, she smiled.

and in that smile, you saw everything unravel. too fast, too quick. 

too late.

a flash of sophia’s smile glinted behind your eyelids.

“poor child,” she said softly. “you should’ve stayed in your little castle with your little princess.”

before your sword could even clear its sheath, her hand shot forward, sharp and inhumanly fast—metal glinted under her sleeve—

and the blade plunged right through your chest plate.

you gasped as the steel cut through bone and heart and air, the force of it throwing you backwards as your knees buckled.

basil shouted. keeho moved.

the witch barely had time to twist the blade before basil was on her, fury igniting in his veins. he drove his sword through her neck, slicing with such force her body collapsed in a heap of blackened smoke. a whispered “long hail the eyekonian empire!” lingering in the air like a ghost.

you hit the floor hard, breath stuck in your throat, blood pooling beneath you, warmth draining fast from your limbs. you couldn’t breathe, the damage was far too severe for a quick movement, a rather large chasm where you heart laid and the surrounding areas.

coughing blood as it invaded your lungs, your blurry  eyes caught keeho hastily ripping the metal plate covering your chest while the other soldiers screamed for the troops outside to come in, feeling hands pressing to try and regulate the bleeding, even if it was a lost cause.

but the damage was too severe to resolve. blood dripped down your lips, splattering on basil’s chestplate. him and keeho had looked horrified, like it was hard to believe that you’re here, dying in front of their eyes when you were just fine a few moments earlier. that the years of your life spent in training had gone down the drain with a quick snap of a wrist.

sophia had appeared in your thoughts once more.

sophia, sophia, sophia.

sophia.

you wonder how she’ll react to your foolish decision of rushing things to get home to her. the lapse in your judgement and eagerness to leave costing you your life. she’d have scolded you if you’d lived. mumbling something along the lines of “almost losing my future wife.”

you wonder how she’ll cope. nights spent in utter silence, when usually you’d be there to fill it with soft murmurs of something dumb keeho or yunjin had done while training. you wonder if she could even stomach seeing your empty side of the bed that awaited your return, of the fact that you’d practically broken your promise of marrying her when the war ends. you wonder if she’ll even be able to forgive you.

you’ve broken her heart, her trust, your promise.

you wonder if she’ll marry. you know she won’t, but you wonder if she’ll even consider it. she won’t.

you feel someone lift you up, eyes droopier by the second. you don’t know how long you’ll last, hanging on by a thread in hopes to have at least the littlest consciousness by the time you arrive at the kingdom. the ride home is at least four days, and you’ve been stabbed through the heart.

sophia, sophia, sophia.

the girl who you’d swore to protect, to stand by her side till the end of time. and in by doing so, you’ve protected her and the kingdom. but at what cost?

she was right. it’ll always be duty that you’ll pick.

—--

the troops arrived a few days later, just before the sun set.

the people gathered in hushed clusters near the gates, whispers trailing behind the guards who bore the burden of grief on their shoulders, despite the victory of the empire and the end of the five year war.

at the very front, a body lay still atop a wooden cart, draped in the laforteza colors—deep navy and silver, lined with the kingdom’s sigil. the cloth covered everything, but it did nothing to hide the shape beneath it. nothing to dull the cold finality of it.

sophia stood at the castle steps, hands clenched at her sides. she didn’t need anyone to speak. didn’t need the confirmation of names or reports or letters from the front.

she knew.

she knew the slope of those shoulders beneath the fabric. knew the way the blade of your nose had always cut sharp and proud, even in rest. she knew the stillness wasn’t sleep—it was silence. finality.

“no,” she whispered, barely audible.

“no.”

no one dared stop her when she stepped down the stairs. not even the guards dared look her in the eye.

she stopped at the cart, breath trembling, heart thudding violently against her ribs as if it could somehow drum you back to life.

“please,” she murmured, to no one and nothing. “please don’t do this.”

her hands lifted, shaking as she reached for the cloth.

and when she peeled it back—

her knees buckled.

a choked sound tore out of her throat. her hand flew to her mouth, as if she could stuff the scream back inside. you were pale. still. lips tinged blue. your armor had been cleaned, but the dent at your chest plate was still there. and your sword—your favorite—rested by your side like it belonged with you in death, too.

sophia dropped to her knees beside the cart, clutching the edge like it could hold her upright. she could hear basil somewhere behind her, voice low and broken as he tried to explain. but she wasn’t listening.

she was supposed to marry you.

you had promised.

and now, the war had taken what even time dared not touch. basil wrapped his arms around her from behind, trying to hold her upright as wails so painful and gut wrenching pierced through the air, your father freezing in place at the sight.

he’d unknowingly lead you to your demise.

you were newly twenty-five when you’d died, and sophia never married. never planned to if it wasn’t you, anyway. she kept sleeping on your side of the bed no matter how painful it was, kept the blood-stained letter found in your pocket framed on the bedside table as a remembrance. kept your sword as a remembrance. kept everything you had as a remembrance.

because she was starting to forget you as time passed. was starting to forget how you felt, how you smiled, how you moved, how you looked at her like she was worth dying for and did. she was starting to forget.

and she wanted to remember.

she wanted to remember everything, down till the last pulses of her heart weakly pumped blood and basil and oreo’s children had gathered around her bed to say goodbye, a privilege you never got to have. she wanted to remember everything down to her last breath, how warm your skin felt beneath her fingertips, memorising and mapping your skin like it was the last thing she’ll ever do.

she never married. until death, she waited for you. waited for ninety years, if it meant coming home to you. she ruled with the strength you left her, carried the weight of the crown like your blood hadn’t been spilled across the kingdom’s soil to make peace possible. 

she turned her pain into purpose, rebuilt a world you could’ve lived in—should’ve lived in—and still, every night, she slept facing your empty side of the bed. made it possible for the end and the start of something new. she died on your side of the bed, your letter addressed to her clutched to her heart. creased, worn, and faded.

“the queen walks beside her knight again.”

a/n. finished in time for beautiful chaos release🙂‍↕️ did not mean to write this long but oh well yall have to deal w this now. will fix thr layout of the pairing nd shit in the morning. this was NAWT proofread ts was long asl im highk not bothered to look for spelling mistakes nd shi💔🥀🥀🥀🥀 ts also took THREE gruelling months to finish🥀🥀🥀 its the reason why the mamma mia updates hv been locked in the basement

masterlist. 1k follower event.

[rollwithdicey]

Date Everything NSFW Headcanons

I've been thinking of a LOT of things since the game out and I just wanted to share some thoughts. I also haven't played a whole lot yet so I don't know a lot of the characters that well yet so I'll definitely do a part 2

Mostly female/femme reader stuff

Eddie and Volt

2 bad bitches at the SAME👏DAMN👏TIME👏

For the most part these 2 will fuck you together but there are days when they get you to themselves

Someone else said that Volt would be into tying you up or you tying him up and I can definitely see it

He'll definitely make you use your words to tell him what you what him to do, and teases you about how shy/eager you are

Eddie on the other hand tends to manhandle you a bit more, definitely loves marking you too

Surprisingly loud and groans lot when he's at it, (sometimes whimpers....who said that??)

He'll always start a little rough depending on the situation but the further you go, the more he softens up

He's not good with his emotions but he does care for you a lot and he fucks you like he's desperate, like he's scared of loosing you

He'll never admit it but he secretly loves it when you praise him

Also loves it if you're loud, just tell him how good he makes you feel

Together headcanons

I feel like Volt likes watching you and Eddie go at it in the beginning before joining himself

Volt definitely talks you through it if you're taking both of them at the same time

They're both definitely into overstimulation, you're not going anywhere until they're both done with you

They'll explore every inch of you and take notes over what makes you the loudest

I feel like they'd definitely be down to try anything new with you if you brought it up

Their foreplay would definitely be PEAK 👌

They know what gets you going and they get off on how wet they can make you

The combination of you being tied up by Volt and Eddie manhandling you is their personal fav

Might also be into blindfold and light choking if you were ok with jt

When everything's done their aftercare is the best, they'll clean you up and cuddle with you and bring you anything you need the rest of the night

Chance

Pleasure Dom 100%

He's the sweetest person ever and that definitely translates into the bedroom

He'll do almost anything you ask if it helps make you feel good

Obvi he'll be into some roleplaying in the bedroom, he'll do almost anything if you enjoy a certain scenario

Also probably into light overstimulation

He loves to feel you shaking and desperate for him

L o v e s when you say his name, or just loud in general cuz he loves knowing how good he makes you feel

Mostly vanilla for the most part, he just wants to pleasure you organically, but willing to try almost anything you might be into within reason

His aftercare too is always the BEST, he's literally there to serve you and bring you anything you need, you wouldn't even need to walk he'll just carry you

Best after sex cuddles as well, he just wants you to be comfortable and warm

Lyric

Everyone is sleeping on my man for real 😤

He doesn't act like it but he's secretly a horndog, like he's got the knowledge of every book and you really think he wouldn't know a thing or 2?

Absolutely into Sensory deprivation

With him being a genie I have a headcanon that he can summon and levitate certain things, but it only applies to books and feathers

L o v e s using feathers on you, whether it's playful tickling or you blindfolded and tied up he's using them on you

Will absolutely take his time with you until you're begging him to touch you

This might sound weird but because he's a genie I don't think he actually has a....uh....pp? But when he's realized and gets his human form he's definitely fucking you hard the second he gets the chance

Would love to read dirty romance books to you and watch your reaction every time to see what gets you going

Definitely asks if you can recreate different scenes from his favorite romance books

Super romantic always, if you're not as experienced he'll definitely go slow and be understanding, making sure you feel comfortable and have the best experience

Tony

I haven't done his whole story read but I'll add some more here when I finish it

He believes he's hot shit, he's so smooth with his words you genuinely can't help but lean into it

Experience on the other hand, he'll never admit it but sometimes doesn't always know what he's doing and might need a little guidance

But he'll also never admit he also loves praise and hearing how good he makes you feel, definitely inflated his ego more than it already is

He thinks he's good with his hands, but this is where he might need that little bit of guidance

He's into hair pulling, he loves just having a solid grip on you no matter what, but tries hard not to actually hurt you cuz he thinks it kills the mood

He definitely wasn't lying when he said he has a massive schlong, but don't tell him that you doubted him

Loves trying different positions with you, and his stamina lasts a long time so be prepared to be in it for awhile

Also a sucker for any kind of hand job or blow job, definitely a favorite for him and he'll absolutely talk you through it and tell you how he likes it

Probably doesn't understand the concept of aftercare so you might have to teach him, but once he gets it he's surprisingly caring because he wants you to enjoy your time with him

Dorian

I haven't progressed a lot in his story either but I'll try my best

He knows he's hot and he knows you think he's hot and he's A L L over it

Into light voyeurism/exhibitionism, he'll love it if you walk in on him pleasuring himself and encourages you to stay and watch, and also loves seeing you touch yourself in front of him

Spoiler if you haven't unlocked Keith yet but after hearing how Keith really felt about Dorian you try your best to be better than that

You love telling Dorian how good he makes you feel, and he knows he's good at what he does

Definitely loves seeing you on top from time to time, he wants you to ride him

Also please sit on this man's face, you won't regret it

100% uses his voice against you, loves to whisper in your ear or surprise you from behind just to rile you up

He'll be anything you want him to be from rough to soft

Loves taking care of you afterwards too, he'll never disappoint with his aftercare, and always has a habit of telling you he loves you afterwards

[msmimundo]

Ok I found this part interesting. Besides the whole Mini Kris getting out of the screen and threatening our Kris (also Kris getting... pale?? probably an animator error but worth mentioning still), Susie asks them if they enjoy it. Susie, who has been a symbol of freedom in Kris' caged life. We seemingly got two options given:

More than once we can differenciate our choices from Kris' by the way the others react, but this time it seems to be different. None of them Susie reacts as if Kris was screaming or confused or tried to hide the answer by coughing.

If you chose "Of course. Games are fun"

They sweat. Their head tilts down too, almost regretfully, still "pale". Even if their voice tone wasn't described, we can conclude this was not the option they would chose. It makes sense with the whole "they are forced in A Situation and is not enjoying this".Also its interesting that Berdly is brought up, not only bc weird route but also considering this chapter's secret boss(also Berdly a sweaty nerd confirmed)

Also despite this they joke with her. That's cute

If you chose "No" however

Susie disconnects the game. Susie, the symbol of freedom, kills Mini Kris. Whether she is saving them or not, well I can't really tell what deep meaning this could have. But she is stopping them from playing the game they clearly don't enjoy.

But there's a secret third option

YOU can attack Susie. And KRIS saves her.

This was specially interesting to me, cause if this is some kind of foreshadowing for future events, the way it's put is I think is Genious! Specially considering Just moments before, we were basically forced to kill Mini Susie and Mini Ralsei while Kris looked back at us. This is something Kris did for themselves, and we can tell by their expression, the way they grit their teeth and how violently they pulled her out of danger, even she was surprised by this. They do NOT want to see their friends injured, we knew that, and they are probably scared to the possibility of her exploding like Mini Susie did, but them coming out of their way to protect her AGAINST what we clearly intended, i find that so interesting.

The rest of the scene they don't let got, and at Susie's awkwardness their only reaction seems to be just, calling her a weirdo? Or maybe that's the conclusion Susie got herself after that awkward silence. Also notice how this part makes Susie open up a bit, get more vulnerable as the awkward weird teen she is, in contrast to the pillar she is usually put as.

So in a scene where Kris, a videogame character we as players are controlling, where they have to face Mini Kris, a videogame character we are making them control but that is set free out of it's world's boundaries:

-we make Kris say they love the game. Implied a lie, negative reaction. Berdly gets mentioned

-we make Kris say they don't love the game. Implied true? Susie frees Kris off the game they are forced into//kills Mini Kris

-we attack Susie. Kris saves her by their own, against our wishes. This leaves her a bit more vulnerable

I'm horrible at analisis but I think there's something worth to pick from here

[pls-readnowayu]

...Maybe because a lot of people are pressured into having children even if they don't want to since a large part of society treat not having a child like some sort of moral failing?

Like, if you want to have kids? Amazing, I'll always support parents and children with all I have.

If someone don't want to have kids? That's also amazing, it's not a moral obligation to do so after all.

But there're so many stories where a character want to have children. And so many more with character who said they don't want children only to end up changing their mind afterward.

And that's fine, but just like how people that want children enjoy seeing themselves on screen, childless people would also want to see themselves in stories as well.

...is something wrong with that?

normalize fictional characters saying they don’t want children and then not inevitably changing their minds later in the narrative~

[acmeangel]

I’ve had this in my drafts for about 5 months because I’ve been too afraid of stirring the pot if my takes are hot, but I also really just enjoy character analysis so… this is my opinion!

Levi would not be a rough, mean dom in bed, and he wouldn’t have a high sex drive.

(CW: sex, prostitution, trafficking, all the Levi childhood things)

To start, if we look at his childhood, his mother was a prostitute in the Underground. And he was the direct product of this. While it was never specified exactly how Kuchel died — just that she was sick — I'd wager that it was almost definitely from an untreated STD; and even if not, it was precisely her dire circumstances that would've prevented her from receiving adequate treatment for any other illness. This lifestyle killed his mother, and we can see how deeply her death impacted Levi through even the smallest behaviors in his adult life; in the way he treats life as valuable, how he looks out for the young teenagers who end up on his squad, even in the way he holds his teacups. Kuchel loved him, and she was a kind person, but it didn’t matter—the world was too cruel of a place.

In Bad Boy, we see young Levi being threatened with the prospect of being sold into the same life as his mother — one of the men says, "We should make him do the same job as his mother. He might have inherited her talents." That's not something he'd easily forget, and, unfortunately, would likely be an experience that shaped his perception of self-worth, what sex is, and how the world works. This is not to say anyone is defined or shaped by their traumas, but our childhoods are very often where many of all our behaviors lead back to.

I'd imagine that if this is the life he grew up with, it would make his viewpoint on sex that it's something harmful, cruel, and unforgiving; it's a transactional means to an end, something taken with brutality, not an act of care, love, and intimacy.

There likely wasn’t anything in his life in the Underground to shown him otherwise, and he was there for all of his key, formative years. Even aside from his own personal experiences, we know that prostitution and trafficking ran rampant in the Underground—Mikasa and her mother were intended to be sold into it.

His abandonment by Kenny (who he almost definitely thought was his father at the time), only would've compounded his negative views regarding self-worth and the dysfunction/unreliability of relationships that are supposed to be caring, comforting, and nurturing. It took him decades to find out who Kenny really was or why he was abandoned—that's plenty of time for these emotional scars to cement themselves deep within him, even if subconsciously.

He'd then go on to lose basically anyone he'd ever dared to care about from that point forward—from Furlan and Isabel to the original Levi Squad to almost the entire Scout Regiment to Erwin to Hange to Sasha and Eren. Because of all of that emotional turmoil and the loss of all of his relationships that had mattered to him (despite his best efforts to keep them), I don't think emotional or physical intimacy would come easily to him or be something that he'd go out of his way to find, because why risk it? Why take the chances of getting attached to someone if your life is full of loss?

For that reason, I don't think he'd seek out sex just for the pure physical release. I think that for sex to even interest him at all, there'd have to first be a level of emotional connection and trust. With the right person, I'd reckon that over time, he'd develop a desire/need for it—it feels good physically, he'd see that it does foster intimacy, it would likely soothe some of his emotional wounds, and he'd want to please his partner. It’s also not to say he’d be overly gentle or timid or meek; but there’s a difference between passion and being rough with someone to the point of harm.

I just don’t envision him being particularly rough or dominating about it. He's not a violent or aggressive person at heart—only by necessity and circumstance. Honestly, I think, to some degree, he likely struggles internally with the super-human physical strength and fighting skills he's inherited. In my mind, it's not a far stretch to think that Levi has viewed himself as more of a tool/weapon/killer than a person, and I don't see him wanting to bring that into sex (or a relationship at all for that matter).

Levi didn’t choose to be an Ackerman/fighter — it was a perfect storm of his bloodline, Kenny’s influence, and the survival instinct necessary to live in the Underground that turned him into one. But that doesn’t mean that it’s his true nature. (Yes, he can at times reach a breaking point and lash out because he’s human, and almost no one constantly acts in line with their true nature and morality when put into dangerous, pressurized situations.)

I feel that Levi would want to avoid being violent or aggressive in an intimate setting, toward someone he deeply cares for, at all costs. Underneath his stoic exterior, crudeness, and the hardened mask he's often had to wear, he's shown to be a deeply caring, protective, and empathetic person.

Not to mention, I could genuinely see him being wary of his own sheer strength and not wanting to hurt his partner in any way or potentially scare them off, which would lead to yet another loss/abandonment.

Again, none of this is to say that a person’s trauma has to define them or shape their actions, feelings, and behaviors; but Levi is a deeply empathetic person, and I don’t see him easily shaking off seeing his mother’s tragic life, being abandoned, the loss he’s experienced, and the violence he has committed. Sure, it’s possible that after he gets into a relationship, or feels truly comfortable enough with someone, he’d be more open to different types of sex and not be as wary, but he’s just not a violent person in my eyes.

But mostly… I think, after a life of fighting and violence and aggression, he’d be eager to leave that behind when he can.

He’s not a violent dog, he doesn’t know why he bites.

This is not to discount anyone’s versions of Levi that they write/enjoy in fics/smut, I don’t really care what other people do and this isn’t about that. I’d never tell anyone what to do in regards to that. At the end of the day, we are really all just having fun here and living out our little fantasies as our our collective favorite character (I mean, I mostly write fluff pieces, so it's really not all that serious…). This just happens to be my take on Levi, it doesn’t have to be anyone else’s by any means, and I think character analysis is interesting! Pls don’t come for me, I won’t come for you!

[clairewritesfanfics]

civilian au: vtuber shiesty mark

I headcanon that Shiesty struggled financially growing up. Unlike the others, he didn't have access to a secure house and Debbie struggled to put food on the table. She juggled multiple jobs and her son getting labeled as a troublemaker at school and hanging out with the wrong crowd made it difficult to be the ideal mother.

Eventually, she died and Mark dropped out of school. He committed petty theft with his friends, but he never killed anyone and avoided physical altercations. He was the type of robbers who are all bark and no bite, which is still a bad thing but he didn't like hitting people.

He lived in a dingy apartment with barely any furniture. He kept it clean, but not neat. He also taught himself how to cook decent meals under 25 dollars because he got sick of eating instant noodles everyday.

At some point, Mark gets his hands on a gaming laptop. He always wanted one but Debbie couldn't afford any, but now he can finally play.

He started streaming for fun, just his voice. He didn't expect to blow up in popularity. He has a handsome voice plus he can be funny without trying so he has a lot of fans.

He uses most of his money on his friends and to get better gaming equipment, but he never intended to move to a better place. 

A lot of fans want him to do a face reveal but he's too shy, plus he knows that if his looks don't match their expectations they'll abandon him, so instead of showing his face he saves up and commissions for a really cool-looking Vtuber model. (I haven't decided what that would look like. You guys decide your own headcanons.)

He avoids drama and keeps a professional distance from everyone, fans and colleagues. He just wants to play, he isn't interested in dating, and if he were, he wasn't going to use his job to find a partner. All in all, he's a successful dude.

He can be toxic though in that he shares a lot of male players’ cozy games aren’t games mentality. He doesn’t go out of his way to bully others for calling themselves gamers for playing The Sims or Infinity Nikki, but you just know he’s one of those guys.

But then he meets you. (How? I’ll leave that to you.) Love happens and you become his first and only serious partner.

He starts branching out from his typical content (fighting, action, racing, shooting, RPGs–the so-called “serious” games) and tries cozy and casual games. 

He loses a portion of his original audience for this but he ends up attracting even more fans, especially since he gets so serious about the silliest things, like building the perfect house and decorating the best office for his partner’s in-game character.

He’s a puritan when it comes to gacha and discourages spending as much as he can. When he does pull for a new character or weapon or costume, he has you sit with him.

During streams you would knock softly on his office door (yes, you eventually moved in together) and if he can, he’ll pause his game and greet you. When you “interrupt” his streams it’s usually to give him a snack or drink. His viewers like to make bets about what’s on the menu because that’s how often you do it.

He always tells you his schedule so you know when he can’t open the door. During those times, you will knock to let him know and then leave the tray outside for when he gets a break.

MAIN MASTERLIST

Any questions for the author? Ask here.

[rosiemari]

✧₊⁺ —- CUNT TO THE FEMININE WHAT

⋆. 𐙚 Saja boys with vogue back dancer reader.

𝜗𝜚 Dear diary: Hello again, ive been having a k-pop demon hunters intensive brain rot lately so decided to drop this cuz vogue is fucking royalty. Plus honey balenciaga's performance inspired this XD. But either way im just being silly so this probs wont get a lot of likes :P.

౨ৎ Trigger warnings: kinda suggestive (?) idk

⋆౨ৎ˚ Characters: Baby and Romance.

˚୨୧⋆.˚ Type: Headcanons, Fluff, Romantic/platonic.

𝜗ৎ Song of the day: Pure/honey —– Beyoncé !

｡𖦹°‧ You were hired for the interludes at the saja boys's show, while you did not really match the vibes there, you were aware you've only been hired for some type of variety on the tour so it didn't get too bland. So you carried with your usual energy.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ Baby !

✧₊⁺ Peter how are you doing that.

✧₊⁺ Since Baby (or any of the Saja boys to begin with) didn't care about all this k-pop idol stuff, he didn't really pay no mind when the team decided to hire you.

✧₊⁺ So imagine his amusement when he saw you perform in the interludes.

✧₊⁺ The way you were just casually whirling and twirling yourself to the music with heels and extravagant corsets, pins and whatnot like a casual saturday was able to make even him entertained with the show.

✧₊⁺ You made the crowd cheer in pure extasy and excitement with your performance almost twice the times when the Saja boys themselves were performing so he was much amused.

✧₊⁺ Although he couldn't help but notice the way your movements were sultry but not afraid of getting frenetic and intense with a tad of "seduction" was something that complimented even more your performance.

✧₊⁺ Baby doesn't look the type to research about these type of cultures especially when it's not his interest so he didn't ever see or hear about vogue before, thinking that you were making up your own little dance style. That just made him even more pleased.

✧₊⁺ So when you were done he definitely went to find out who you were, and maybe, y'know, get in touch with you.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Romance

✧₊⁺ Bravo. You're now an exception to the whole soul taking gig.

✧₊⁺ The moment people were tidying you up backstage with your sparkling corset and extravagantly long heels, making you look absolutely sickening, his eyes were locked on you.

✧₊⁺ And honey, when you jumped on that stage you did not disappoint neither the crowd or Romance, your performance was absent of flaws and brought the energy the show needed.

✧₊⁺ Every dip, every twirl and catwalk you gave was another positive point to him, catching the demon in disguise'a attention for simply being good at what you're doing.

✧₊⁺ He liked the way you moved like the heels was just a pair of sneakers, but also was kinda hesitant in case you were to trip and end up with a sprained or even broken ankle due to the heel's height. But that worry went away as soon as he saw your ability.

✧₊⁺ After you were done with your performances he also did look for your information and who were you really, he definitely hit on you when he got the chance. Now it's up to you whether you liked that or not.

✧₊⁺ Your confidence not only brought the show's energy up it also was able to make one of the idols entertained enough to try and get you to perform in every single show they did. Maybe this whole k-pop gig wasn't bad after all.

[dextivestudios]

There is science coming out showing that using chatbots literally rots your brain, so now I'm trying to break myself from janitor.ai (again) because the stakes has risen for me and it's now a manner of my health.

Do you have any idea how hard finding this one post is???

But honestly, I am looking for something that can recreate the feeling of a character "talking" to you. And while art projects and roleplaying with other people are neat, fun, and all that, it's not quite what I'm looking for?

The closest I have found is using tupperbox on Discord in a private server, but one of the big flaws is that that requires a reliance on Discord, and I am likely not even going to have a Discord account by the end of the year due to the enshittification direction they are planning to take the platform.

idk, if anyone knows what it is I'm trying to find, I'm genuinely tracking that down. So, if anyone has any ideas, feel free to share them!

As per roleplaying, Mr. Ring-A-Ding is one of mine and so is Shigaraki, who I both have in my Minecraft-themed roleplaying server. Mr. Ring-A-Ding can have a Sunshine Sally, but I am ideally looking for male OCs to be paired with them, as I do ship myself with them and I am transmasc. It'd just be more validating for me personally if I can project myself on the OC and gush WITH the OC owner rather than having the love/"self" part of self-shipping for the character be majorly one-sided to the OC owner.

The only character I'm not comfortable doing that with is Willy Wonka, but specifically my own unique interpretation of him who I have dedicated a lot of love and energy into creating. I do not give a flip if people ship themselves with the officially recognized versions of him. (Anyone shipping themselves with the Douglas Hodge version is hella based, though. Best official version IMO.) And no, that does not mean walking on eggshells around me when it comes to Wonka. You will be able to TELL it's my version when you see him. If there is an inkling of doubt: no, that is not my version.

Things to do instead of talking to your f/o on c.ai:

draw something with them

write something with them

make an edit or other graphics of them. screenshot edits where you add your headcanons or other changes to their design are great too even if you don't commit to the new design

revisit your favorite scenes or even reconsume their entire source

go hunt for pictures of them you didn't save yet

go look for new fanart, fanfics, or other fan content made by others

gush to other people about them

talk about them in general even if it's not a gush. share your favorite fun facts, talk about their source, or share some headcanons

find someone to roleplay your f/o for you

make a journal page dedicated to them

write them a letter (and maybe write a response letter from their perspective too)

listen to songs that remind you of them. you could also make a 2010s style AMV of them with that song

[deancrowleycas]

I have SPN fatigue in the sense that I have been on SPN tumblr since 2014, getting my gay hopes up for Destiel being queerbaited for years and years, but still dreaming and yearning and longing. And now I see the same thing happening to me in the broader sense of the Supernatural reboot, references and 'he is like Dean' thrown around like smart marketing key words for a loyal audience that will follow anywere in their love toward their little Supernatural blorbos. Continuously fans get their hopes up for the reboot announcement finally happening, but why would it happen? The actors are safely profiting from conventions and other shows, and making a reboot is making a decision, alienating an audience because the confession scene has to be addressed, or not talking about the elephant in the room, and also alienating part of the audience. I feel like I am 17 all over again, a tired queer weirdo longing for my characters to be safe and to be themselves, but my characters are captured in this weird state of being profitable until they aren't, and only then something will happen, and I am just so tired

[glasskey]

What Season 6 did to Nick AND June

Yeah, I’m never going to get over this. Now in the past when I’ve not been entirely happy with series finales I’ve been somewhat soothed by time to ponder and follow up press from Show runners and cast that had something constructive and generous to offer. Here, we received the opposite and as a result I’ve been left to stew in the delicious juices of my hatred and resentment.

After all of the push back, it’s pretty evident that Blaine was unjustly dealt with in season 6, particularly in comparison to the rest of the Gilead Four. Not only that, but there’s a resounding consensus that Nick and June’s relationship was callously spat on and set on fire with an almost gleeful hatred. Last but not least, June now seems to look unsympathetic and opportunistic….and THAT is not her fucking fault. Please, let me elaborate.

The writers had several options to chose from to cast as the villain but they found Blaine the most convenient to go with for a multitude of reasons. They also wanted to make a political statement, so there you go. They weren’t really concerned with all the rest of the “sense of justice”, “out of character” element because they could always fall back on deniability and off screen character history. Unfortunately the audience WAS concerned with these things and have considered the show runners dismissal of their opinion as let’s say, quite rude. They’ve unfortunately chosen to paint Serena in a positive light and, cast the core message of the show about motherhood instead of female autonomy, which undermines basically all of it’s feminist values. Essentially it simply re enforced Fred Waterford’s philosophy about women’s greatest purpose being as a walking womb. Yet they somehow managed to undermine their OWN themes of mother hood by having June running around Gilead constantly bleating about Hannah, while treating Holly like an inconvenient after thought.

They missed their chance to utilise that love triangle as a demonstration of a woman having the power to choose in her personal relationships, by determining Nicks actions be the deciding factor. Honestly, I’ve seen more autonomy demonstrated in the infamous Joey / Pacey / Dawson love triangle in Dawson’s Creek. I mean FFS….DAWSON’S CREEK! Because American writers are so stifled by traditionalist theological values, the idea of a woman actually leaving her husband because she dared to fall in love with someone else, remained absolutely inconceivable. The writers themselves commented “I don’t think the audience would like it if she just abandoned her husband”, yes that’s right ”abandoned”, like leaving him was tantamount to orphaning a helpless child. Like men are utterly incapable of looking after themselves, and women should feel guilty over wanting to end their marriage. It’s made no less offensive by the fact that Luke walked out on his wife and it was written off as “people change”. Once again, OK for a man, but not for a woman. Got it. I felt SO failed as a woman, by the moralistic, traditionalist messaging that occurred, I find it difficult to articulate. In order for the writers to disassemble the idea of Nick and June as the manifestation of an autonomous choice of collective rebellion, and jam these traditionalist ideals back into place, they had to flip both Nick and Luke’s character. They had to violate a text, destroy narrative symbolism and change the very core nature of characters. I’m wholly unimpressed that these writers idea of true love is that some man “waited for her”, like she OWES him something. It’s utterly archaic. Seems almost stalkerish considering the fact that the protagonist actually asked him not to, and yet here we are being told that it’s some sort of demonstration of undying love. Must be the same person who thinks that June and Serena’s relationship is a “love story”.

I personally RESENT being told by both these writers, and by default the fans that latched onto this ridiculous bullshit, that I have “romanticized” a “Nazi”, when the writers themselves built the character to play the dark romantic hero for 5 seasons, and then suddenly changed their minds. It’s insulting and worse still, it makes fans a target. No matter how many times these writers try to whack Blaine with this inflammatory label, historical fact dictates that it still doesn’t make it fucking so. They previously ran promos for him being a part of Mayday, made continual distinctions between Blaine and the rest of Gilead’s foul regime and then suddenly decided to run around screeching that he was an unholy, irredeemable war criminal. They can fuck right off with that 180 self righteous, holier than thou, bullshit.

Everyone was all on board for 4 09 and 4 10. By the way, don’t think that I don’t remember those very same little Nick haters that posted comments relenting past hatreds during season 4, who are now proudly crowing about how “they always knew he was a war criminal and a fascist”, because I see you. Those writers aren’t fooling anyone; if it looks like a take back, and it smells like a take back….then it fucking is. There’s a REASON that the majority of the audience FEELS betrayed and no whining or mealy mouthed justifications by the writers, to their little press besties is going to fix it and magically make it go away. I also refuse to sit back and have their finger wagged at me for wanting the candy they dangled in front of me for 5 seasons, or at the very least adherence to the original source material. They can fuck right off with that shit too. These writers are the ones that violated a text and if they’re getting a mouthful about it, they should just fucking own it instead of acting like self righteous little brats.

Daisy’s / Holly’s story line has essentially been removed from The Testaments TV series and the timeline shortened. It honestly feels like the audience is constantly having to point out to the writers, that they are not fucking idiots, that they don’t have amnesia, that they read the books and that they KNOW when writers are violating a text. This whole branch of the family feels like it’s been treated as if it was simply so inconvenient to these writers that it needed to be erased. As season 6 concluded, Holly was hand balled to her names sake, while June skipped off to rescue the family favourite.

The way that both Blaine and his relationship with Osborn were disposed of in The Handmaids Tale felt nothing short of personal. The writers weren’t satisfied with splitting the pair apart permanently, they wanted to do it brutally, they wanted to devalue their previous connection, they wanted to strip Blaine of his parentage and last but not least, have the love of his life kill him. Even his final words made it sound as though he’d had a gazillion chances to be with her and his daughter, and had greedily chosen power instead. It was like watching the writers beat Blaine to death and then gleefully kick his corpse.

It wasn’t just Blaine that Season 6’s schizophrenic manoeuvrings touched, it was many others including June. I’ve been hearing a lot of rumblings about June lately, and coincidently they started this season. They’ve not been flattering, frankly some of them have been a bit disturbing. I’d argue that if Blaine’s character wasn’t consistent this season, then neither was hers, particularly when it comes to the context of their relationship. June knows what it’s like to survive in Gilead, previous seasons have depicted her doing awful shit to either stay alive or for her cause. I don’t believe this character would suddenly develop some sense of self righteousness that would make her deaf to any of Blaine’s reasoning; including the fact that he told his demented father in law the girls at Jezebels had nothing to do with it, and that he had no idea he would kill them. Let’s just consider what happened with Eden and what went down at the Jezebels in season 4. June KNOWS what the deal is in Gilead. Audience’s should have no doubt that the writers changed the tone of their interactions, the nature of their relationship and as such they changed the character of both Nick AND June within it’s context. While it was not their aim to make her look unsympathetic, because of their rampant tampering in their relationship, it was an inevitable result. I’m actually surprised at audience members who DID readily gobble this up as sounding legit for their characters. Some of these people were actual critics who should have recognized a snack bucket of deep fried garbage when they saw it, but instead they chowed down on it, and then swore up and down they’d just eaten a gourmet 3 courser.

They’d attempted to paint Blaine as a villain but because of the sum of his past actions, most didn’t buy it and it simply made him look abandoned and June opportunistic. The fact is you can’t say that Blaine is not a liar and still say that June is heartless. If you want to say the story line is false for one, then by default it’s false for both. Changing Nicks character changes the genuine nature of Nick and June’s interactions and therefore changes her personality entirely in the context of their relationship. Essentially, if Nicks character construct is false, then in the context of their relationship, so is hers.….you don’t get to have just half of the pie. These writers wanted half and it was waaaaay too late, he was intrinsically tied to her as they’d painted them as soul mates from the very beginning. They’d spent seasons and seasons building their bond, demonstrating the constant tether that held them together despite the regime. Then they just simply wanted to get away with cutting it off brutally. These writers created an aura of timelessness between them, so despite their best attempts to sever them later, they remained tied together and the inevitable consequence was that when they attempted to drag him down, she went with him.

This eternal connection is something the season 6 writers never understood, and it’s why they thought they could simply decimate Blaine’s character, dispose of him and walk away with their protagonist intact. I want to be crystal clear to those who think that June is now some horrible ungrateful wench….these writers did these two dirty. Not just Blaine, but June too. These writers back peddled on their relationship and did just about everything to devalue it; they didn’t anticipate that it would make her look opportunistic and heartless, but it was bound to happen once they tried to make their connection look superficial. The end result was that these writers made BOTH these characters look morally bankrupt, they made their relationship look valueless, they destroyed their mutual bond as parents and they ruined an epic love story. On top of it all, they not only mocked their audience for caring for these characters and their bond, but appeared to despise them for it. I can honestly say I’ve never seen anything like it. These writers lured viewers into a cruel trap, wounded them and then got pissed off when the audience actually told them they’d been a bunch of arseholes for doing it. I don’t know about anyone else but I don’t really have any qualms about telling them that I fucking hate them for it. It was cruel, surprisingly vindictive and I for one won’t forget it.

Minghella commented that you definitely couldn’t accuse the writers of pandering. I’ve no doubt this statement is actually a politely pointed jab at the writers brutality. It’s atypical coming from a Brit, a razor sharp insult disguised as a cleverly worded complement, that you only get wise to about 3 days after the fact.

The rating difference on this season, between critics and audiences is suspiciously large. They’ve submitted to the Emmy’s, but you just KNOW that Severance and Adolescence are going to take virtually everything so good luck with that. Awards aside, it won’t make one iota of a difference in terms of viewership. The truth is no one really gives a fuck. This is GOT all over again. Current audiences will tell ALL their friends that they loved the show but the last season was shit and it totally ruined everything before it. Then people won’t watch any of it because well, who wants to waste their time watching a show that effectively self destructs in the last season? Yep, fucking no one. Who wants to watch a spin off of that? See previous answer.

[weavingstarlight]

Happy Pride, have some angsty art of Four and Shadow ~

So I decided I wanted to draw Four and Shadow for Pride because, hey, I love these gay boys — but when it came to deciding WHAT I wanted to draw, I had a little more trouble. Instead of doing a classic “Pride post,” I wanted to tell a story. I’ve been spending a lot of time recently with Four and Shadow in Guiding Lights and so I felt like it made sense to draw that version of them (even though it felt a little self-indulgent). I didn’t want to illustrate a particular scene, but instead capture the emotions of the characters symbolically. So, uh, this is what I ended up with!

[Spoilers for chapters 1-17 of Guiding Lights below the cut]

Four was not meant to take over the narrative the way he did. Neither was Shadow. Both characters managed to insert themselves into my outline and demand a larger chunk of the story for themselves. I accept this as “the way writing goes.”

I mention in the fic tags that the soulbonds that unite the Chain are entirely platonic, and this is important to keep in mind with Four and Shadow, who are bonded but who additionally have a non-platonic relationship. It is also important to remember that the soulbonds “activate” the moment a pair of Links get close enough to each other, physically or emotionally (and depending on each Link’s sensitivity to the bond). This means something very important for Four and Shadow’s relationship, which some of you may have already figured out but I’ll lay it out plainly here: The Colors were already soulbound to Shadow when Shadow destroyed the Dark Mirror.

Imagine what that felt like for a moment.

Imagine what Link went through, immediately after his adventure — not only losing his friend, Vio’s partner, but losing his soulmate. And at the same time, rejoining for the first time — going from being Link to being the Colors to being Four — and all that that entailed. (We’ll learn more about what that entailed later in our story.) And the choice, the sacrifice, was made by Shadow and Shadow alone.

Four is no stranger to grief… nor to anger.

And then, quite by accident, Shadow was revived. And Four had to adjust his worldview yet again, now to include the person he was sure he’d lost forever.

But Shadow was the same person as the day he’d died, and Four… wasn’t, anymore.

Fast forward to the “present” day.

Shadow desperately wants to use his powers to rejoin his partner — to save him — but practicality prevents him from doing so. He’s not just worried for Four, he’s scared. And he’s also scared for the other Links, and though he’d be embarrassed to admit it, scared for himself. What happens to Shadow if Four is seriously hurt? What if he dies? Guilt of several kinds bites at Shadow at every moment. He feels angry at his enemies, but also angry at himself for not being able to do more — and even though he knows it’s unfair, he’s angry at the Chain for being slow, angry at Wild for not taking a bigger risk and transporting them with the Slate, and angry at the world for just being sucky. And, selfishly, he misses Four. He’s sad.

Meanwhile, Four is going through his own ordeal. He has no way of knowing where the others are or even if they’re coming to save him. Half of him wants to have faith in his partner and brothers; the other half wants to focus on right now and on saving himself. And there’s a little bit of anger on his part, too — of course the others did the best they could, of course they did… and yet. Four is scared, injured, and lonely, and he can’t afford to be any of those things if he’s going to survive and escape.

But despite all the pain they’ve been through, what unites these two — what unites all the Links — is love. They take strength from each other no matter the distance between them, secure in their love for each other. Nothing can destroy that love, not even death. They’ve already proven that.

During Pride month, it’s great to see examples of queer joy — it’s important to see that! But I think it’s also important to see queer sadness, anger, fear — the full range of human emotions, because queer people and queer relationships contain the same kinds of pleasure AND pain as non-queer ones do. So I don’t feel bad about drawing my poor stressed-out boys during Pride month, and I promise I’ll do happier art of them at a later time. ***

Technically speaking, this piece went great. I’m especially pleased with how the colored pencils came out. My white ink was very dry but it rehydrated well!

8 x 11. Alcohol markers, colored pencils, micron pens, and white ink. Digital background.

[IMG: An illustration of Four from Linked Universe and Shadow (Four Swords manga with a Linked Universe-based design). Four is walking away to the left, visible from the knees up. Shadow is floating behind Four and reaching out for him. Shadow is surrounded by a dark, fiery aura, which flames out behind him. Four is reaching back over his shoulder and their fingers are intertwined. Four is wearing a patchwork tunic, black pants, and black gloves over a light gray shirt. He has blonde hair, pale skin and multicolored eyes. Shadow is wearing a black tunic, white pants, and black gloves over a light gray shirt. He has black hair, paler skin than Four, and red eyes. His feet melt away into dark flames. The “flames” surrounding him are various shades of purple. The background is a textured dark gray-blue. The drawing has black ink lineart and is colored with markers and colored pencils.] *** UPDATE: I made additional posts about the process of drawing this illustration, check them out here!

Process photos Inking timelapse

[onbearfeet]

This is something that genuinely fascinates me about certain storytellers.

If you've ever been in a real emergency situation — blood and screaming, people will die if someone doesn't do something NOW and probably some of them will die even then — then you know that a lot of people will instinctively run in to help. They'll do it whether they actually can help or not. It's hardwired into a lot of humans, especially if the people in danger are children. (No shade. Mammals are often protective of their young.)

But not everyone will do it. Some people won't be physically or psychologically able to ... but some will have the knowledge and ability, and they just won't. Do. Anything. I grew up in earthquake country, so I think of it in terms of earthquakes; when the walls start to crack, everybody runs for cover, but not everybody grabs a baby on the way.

I'm a runner-in, always have been, so I'm fascinated by the stayers-out. I'm not usually interested in judging them (I can't honestly say staying out of, say, a burning building is a bad idea), but I do want to know what's in their head where I have the voice of an ancient primate screaming at me to save the troop.

The only stayer-out I've ever gotten to study up close was my probably psychopathic sibling, and I don't consider him representative of anything much. But the presence of that trait in a storyteller — much less one who takes on Superman of all characters — is baffling. Is there some kind of lack of empathy at work? Certainly Snyder seems to pick and choose who gets to be fully human in his movies, but that's a strange trait to find in a professional storyteller. Does he see stayers-out as heroic in and of themselves, as makers of difficult choices? If so, Superman really isn't the character to explore that through, what with his literal comic-book levels of power that enable him to save almost everyone most of the time. Maybe he was trying to make the best of Superman after Christopher Nolan comprehensively claimed Batman for a solid decade, and transplanted a Batmanesque moral dilemma like "Should I save the Joker?" onto a character for whom it makes far less sense?

The best hypothesis I have so far is this: Superman is a fantasy of power and goodness. It's a story about an incredibly powerful man who uses his power for good, and whose problems mostly arise from his power, his goodness, or both. Maybe Lex Luthor opposes him out of jealousy or fear of his power; maybe his goodness forces him to take on burdens that damage him psychologically; regardless, the best Superman stories turn on that axis. Perhaps Snyder was trying to question the legitimacy of that premise, or criticize the idea of a power-and-goodness fantasy itself in the way that some really good superhero fiction engages with those sorts of abstract concepts.

But given how much of Snyder's work seems to glory in fantasies of power and cruelty (300) or power and corruption (Watchmen) or ... call it power-and-badness fantasies, I guess ... I do have to wonder why he chose that particular fantasy to aim at.

I want to study that man like a bug in a jar, and I'm not sure I'll like what I find there.

not to shit on zack snyder again but it's really funny that he tried to make a big, grand, complex moral quandary on where superman should stand when he saves people around the world and then james gunn is like "he wants to do it because he thinks it's the right thing to do". sometimes going simpler means you get to the crux of what the character is all about much more efficiently. like wow it's really that easy

[thehatboxwitch]

Since you've done a couple of NSFW alphabet, would you honour us with one for our boi Phainon 🩵🌞

it would be my pleasure to deliver 🙇 phainon nsfw alphabet. gender neutral, TW // nsfw.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

as physically strong as he is, phainon doesn't fall asleep that quickly after. he'll help you clean up and go to bed, but after that, he lies in silence, just enjoying your body heat and taking in your sleeping face. there have been moments where he never wants the night (day?) to end.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

no one yearns as desperately as phainon, let us be real. phainon is always in the mood for you, even when you think he isn't. as long as he gets the slightest inkling that you might want him he'll drop everything to please you.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

phainon is. well. huge. he's very tall and broad besides, so expect him to enjoy smothering you with himself as much as possible. his muscles aren’t just for show, and sometimes he accidentally manhandles you around though he doesn’t intend to.

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

when you’re away from him for any period of time, phainon sprays your perfume all over the bed and rolls around in it. he won’t be able to sleep otherwise.

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

phainon’s fairly loud in the grand scheme of things. he likes letting you know how good he’s feeling, and he doesn’t get embarrassed that easily. he lavishes you in praise, telling you how good you are between an abundance of gasps and whines.

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

he doesn’t tease very much, but it does happen sometimes when he thinks it’s especially cute when you squirm and beg for him.

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he’s not against toys at all, and if you prefer them he won’t have any problems using that on you. you’ll have to pleasure him yourself after that, though. he thinks it’s only fair.

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

this is a question you don't want answered. phainon can go for much longer than humanly possible - don't ask unless you're ready to find out.

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

again deferring to you, if there's anything you'd like to try, phainon's absolutely down. he's open to "harder" kinks like knifeplay, bloodplay, all within reasonable safety, of course. tying you up is a secret favourite of his.

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

he prefers not to rush if he can help it. phainon will make time for a proper session if he has to and pull all his chrysos heir strings. nothing makes him feel more icky than the thought of not lavishing you in the attention and care that you deserve.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

phainon thinks he's being slow and sensual, but really you'll feel that he's quite rough out of sheer size alone. eventually he loses his cool as well and ends up pounding into you anyway - so fast and rough would be more accurate to describe him.

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

when it comes to giving, phainon much prefers using his hands than his mouth. he likes it when you're able to hear him, and so in that vein, he prefers receiving oral when you're up for it. (it does get pretty tiring, however, so it's not a very common occurrence.)

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he'd never degrade you. it's just not something that's in phainon's capability, despite everything else he can do. it'd hurt him more than it'd hurt you.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

basically anything, but if he had to choose, maybe just seeing you do domestic things around the place. cooking, cleaning, adjusting your hair in the mirror. phainon’s heart explodes from affection and it often quickly turns into something more.

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

phainon feels like a very against-the-wall kind of guy, exactly as it sounds. he enjoys pinning you against something, fucking you roughly into the surface, kneading your soft body in his hands. the walls of your house, in an alley somewhere, as long he can keep you trapped in his arms.

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

praise, both giving and receiving, is a big turn on for him. all you need is to tell him he’s a good boy and you can expect to be too sore to walk the next day.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

phainon typically doesn’t spend too much away from you, so in the short periods of time he doesn’t have access to you, he avoids touching himself. he likes the idea of saving himself up for you and you only.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

really, phainon’s attempts at romance in the bedroom are clumsy at best. he’s too eager, overbearing, with his affection, too excited to get his hands on you that he smothers you in what should be slow, romantic kisses. he’s more of an enthusiastic dog than anything.

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

i doubt he grooms himself very often, so there’s a medium-sized tangle of white hair down there with a bit of a bluish sheen compared to the hair on his head.

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he doesn’t intend to be, but sometimes phainon will make you laugh in the bedroom, for example when he knocks over a lamp rushing to get to you.

f = favourite position (this goes without saying)

prone bone (if that’s what it’s called). anything where you’re pinned flat down and his entire body weight is bearing down on you, helpless to the full force of his love for you.

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he’s probably… vaguely experienced? he’s been pleasured once or twice before, and vice versa, but he hasn’t really put his dick into someone else before. phainon’s nervous at first, but pretty confident regardless for the little bit of experience he has.

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he has fantasised about fucking you in front of the other chrysos heirs more than once. this is one of phainon's secrets he'll take to the grave.

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he likes finishing inside you and watching the cum drip out of you, just so he can use his dick to push it back into you. ;)

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he loves every single inch of you, but if he absolutely had to choose, perhaps the shoulders and neck area. phainon likes burying his face there when he cums, biting and leaving marks all over, or if you prefer it, he restrains you gently around the neck and watch as your eyes roll in a mix of pleasure and exhilaration.

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

cuddly, and very clingy. phainon cleans you up and dresses you before you can even finish catching your breath, and then he's snuggled up with you under the covers, tracing his hands over the marks he'd left and rubbing his face into your hair.

a hatbox summer event | discord server if you enjoy my work, reblogs help the most! ⭐️