#not passing it on bc idgaf
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hate when people just dont fucking read (SHE NEVER REFERS TO HERSELF AS SHEN YUAN POST TRANSMIGRATION)(NOT A SINGLE TIME NOT EVEN WHILE IN THE PLANT BODY WHERE THAT WOULD AT LEAST MAKE SENSE SHES STILL SHEN QINGQIU THERE)(SHE NEVER REFERS TO SHEN JIU AS "THE REAL SQQ" EITHER ONLY AS "THE ORIGINAL GOODS" WHICH IS DIFFERENT FOR A REASON)(SHE'S NEVER "PLAYING OUT A ROLE" AFTER SHE TAKES DOWN THE OOC RESTRICTIONS ASIDE FROM THE FEW TIMES SHE PURPOSEFULLY HAS TO PLAY THE VILLAIN)(AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS SHE FUCKING HATES IT THE WHOLE TIME BECAUSE SHE ACTS SINCERELY LIKE HERSELF OTHERWISE)(DID WE READ THE SAME BOOK)(CAN PEOPLE READ PLEASE)
#do i dare maintag this#post that will get 3 notes total mostly because of the transfem hc#though how much thats 'head'canon u can take up with god#also bc im aware this reads like one of those 'op is making a point but is being too obnoxious about it to reblog'#but to be fair this is my blog and im really fucking tired of both of these things specifically in fanfiction and also idgaf LMAOO#like maybe 3 people will see this anyways its fine#anyways shen yuan is literally her deadname. pass it on#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#svsss#scum villain's self saving system
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okkkk june's over posting these unfinished talons id like to go back and fix/line/finish but sometimes when the motivation for a specific drawing leaves me its just gone forever
#i wish i had all the time in the world so i cld finish every drawing i make in one go#bc once a few days pass its like dude w/e idgaf anymore. i dont believe in wips it either gets finished in 1 or 2 days or it never does#but we'll seeeeeee#a doodley#first doodle is my favorite talonism
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If they separate Eddie & Venom permanently in Venom 3 I am 1000% pretending the movie didn't happen.
I do not vibe with tearing soulmates apart, I do not vibe with tearing husbands apart, I do not vibe with people who have found love through their suffering being made to lose that love and suffer more okay. Not at all and CERTAINLY not for the fate of a planet that hates them.
Eddie and Venom stay together for literally all of time in every universe and I will never accept a world where that changes. They live together or they die together. That's it. The end. Goodbye.
#idgaf what happens in the comics past a certain point#i know they kill off eddie or something?? i don't know the details bc i refused to read it. but venom gets a new host and i won't allow it#i have no interest in it#part of what makes me love venom so much is his relationship with eddie. their dynamic. their KIDS#not that that has really been touched on in the movies aside from passing comments made by carnage but it IS a thing in the comics thanks#i love my symbiotic alien found family#symbrock#mymcuposts#sort of#its marvel so i'm counting it#maison speaks
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my miserly attitude toward turning on the air conditioner vs my inability to sleep if im hot. cage match of the year
#speak friend and enter#the AC is expensive and i can keep my windows open. however each passing minute that i spend like this makes my resolve waver#it's so stuffyyyyy. it's a rare windless night in chicago. and i can't sleep bc i can't get comfortable bc im too hot#ughhhh screw it im turning it on idgaf
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gamers I literally can't do this anymore. movie date... im in shambles........
#liya.games#chara.harumasa#head in my hands wym he had a dream about the proxy being someone who accepted him no matter what#the way he tries to pass it off like dont do this irl bc ethereal r dangerous!!#FAKE IDGAFER I HEARD THE WAY UR TONE CHANGED#when his fear of rejection goes CRAZYYYYYY
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uhhh ok uh ok uhhhm
#ada speaks#blender stuff#taiga saejima#..........#hes so fucking pretty no one talks about this NEARLY enough hello#everyone has always slept on saejima#thats my fucking mans#recolours seonhees hair and passes away#i will make this work on him now idgaf i didnt even touch it it just fits his goddamn head like ok#i will 100% fully commit to this ill sculpt it to his head im ILL for real like#i had to get rid of it bc looking at him was like looking at an otherworldly being#thats my fucking girlfriend#im normal i promise
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there have been multiple occasions in my life where i have started writing some sort of sexual fan fiction and then stop halfway through bc i remember how badly the characters have treated the women in their lives. sorry to yaoi warriors and all but im contractually obligated to side with women 100% of the time
#cro zone#typically its like. one of em has a dead wife. and itslike man i dont think you ever liked her thats so fucked. idgaf who youre fucking now#i tend to use gay sex fanfiction as a benchmark assessment of my writing abilities/general mental state. which is what itshould be for#problem is ive found exactly one (1) dude from tv thats feminist enough to not have this problem.#and his stupid boyfriend passes bc his social circle is mostly women. even tho hes not a good person to be around generally#theyre kind of sadomasochisms georg tho like theyre throwing off blood:cum ratios on a national level.#not a bad thing on its own but its been years and i need to switch it up#lest i devolve back to my o***wa*** days
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green and red flags everywhere call that shit christmas baby
#the funniest thing u can do after passing these hard perception checks is to tell him dont u dare drop my protection >:[#mans out here baring whatever is left of his 'soul' to you bhwahahahaha#bg3#bg3 dream vistor#bg3 spoilers#bg3 the emperor#anyways my hot take is always he is whatever you want him to be to YOU to ME he is very boring as a villian#i believe he was honest in the perception checks bc they are really hard to pass#and ill b honest idgaf abt what he did to belynn as long as he doesnt do it to meeeee :3
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welp . due to "unforeseen" circumstances, imma have to leave my toxic ass household :D
#like lolllll who is surprised#i just didn't think i'd potentially have lesser of a relationship w my sibling bc of it#but it is what it is#idk what it is about male-centered women standing behind their man when they're manipulative violent assholes#but again - how can i really blame a victim like i get it ig ur in a hostage situation yourself babe#anyways. idk where my dad got this bat from but i got it in my room just in case someone wants to put their hands on me again#mind you - my situation is literally so easily solvable but bc these ppl are stubborn ...#like. the entitlement is crazy idk#like u want me to be down in the basement with YOUR kids that u neglect and don't even watch#and get mad when i set ground rules for them to follow? which is cleaning up after themselves???? oh brother#like you would think you'd wanna be down here to monitor ur kids but nooooo#they literally want the room upstairs and it was *decided* before we moved in (i didnt even have a chance jdksks)#and they want it bc they want to be far away from their own kids as possible.... like yalls actions are shitty.#imagine if i did ts to them where I have kids - I have them near you - and I DO NOTHING to parent them . thats a frustrating situation for#anybody i feel like ??#and before we moved - i DID have the upstairs like woopty doo ig nicer ofc and they were STEADYYYY trying to get me out of that room#(mind you - i have lived there since i was 12/13 and they came wayyy after)#like ... r u kidding me lolololol u want authority so bad over a basement ur not even in anymore#like mind u im not trying to overstep and be their parent ? ik im not . im just their auntie#its just so wilddddd to me they dont see how silly this is?#like maybe im wrong ? but having ur kids stay downstairs when ur upstairs was already off to me. like bffr u want them kids out your face#and u tryna pass them off to me and it's not subtle. but then get mad when i say smth abt behavior OH BROTHERRRRR#but anyways. the straw that broke the camels back was the fact this ngga spit on me. AND then put his hands on me. like omg???#i wanna break his shit so bad w this bat but chile....that is not productive and that is not me#but the rage i have omgggg. i wanna cus its like?? fuck you. ur literally an ABUSERRR idgaf about ur feelings btch.#chatter
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can i be honest. nicholas did well enough and clearly they cast him in rw&rb for a reason but he is just Not giving "gay as a maypole" imo. meanwhile taylor is over here with the tender unconscious bg touches and REAL kissing and hip thrusts and grabbing at him, really serving that bisexual king alex & "i'm just as comfortable kissing male coworkers as i am female coworkers" realness. watch nicholas in the idea of you and then watch rw&rb. he put his whole actorussy in kissing ms hathaway and yet none of that flavor and raw intimacy is found in his gay shit............. so very sad to see. i hope this will not be the case in the sequel :/
#i finally watched it a year later and this is my review#watched it alone and then watched it with my mom and i still feel the same way#it felt..... neutered on his end for me#like there was no flavor. no raw energy. no sexuality. he was kissing that man yes but he was not KISSING that man#and him being straight is no excuse bc there's so many other straight actors that really acted the fuck out tht gay shit they were in#so like 😐😐😐😐😐😐#im not giving him a pass just bc he's white and not ugly!!!!!!!!!! idgaf!!!!!!!! i was promised gay shit and i would like to see it .#not even pitting two bad bitches against each other either bc they both got their strengths n weaknesses#i could be forever spoiled by other stellar performances of lgbt intimacy on screen..... but this is still how i feel :p
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so tormented that i am currently working on two different stories about ex-druggie chicagoan jewish guys being in bands and supernatural forces fuck everything up. one features actual G-d and a messenger Angel is a central character and the other one has ghosts and shit.
the two are different enough that they are separate characters but similar enough that it's obvious that they are both based on myself. i'm doing bad btw.
#myevilposts#i have a deep rooted fear of abandonment.#the bc wip#the mi wip#people are going to write essays on how i handle drugs/addiction/straight edge culture and religion/spirituality#in my stories. one day!#it's funny and i know it will bother a lot of people how deeply religious a lot of my works are but#it's distinctly from the pov of an ex-xtian jewish convert so i think i get a pass.#and it is distinctly NOT from the pov of encouraging conversion. though honestly if someone converted bc of one of#my works i would feel so so so honored. like i inspired you that much to go out of your way to research and become a part of something#that has bettered your life? g-d man that's beautiful. i do want to help people and if someone converts bc of me and#it improves their life than i will have done a good job.#though once again that is not the ultimate goal here! idgaf about whether or not anyone converts or not!#also if any of my works get anyone into music/music history/the horror genre oh i'd be so honored.#i'd be honored if i made any kind of positive impression on anyone if only a moment's comfort.
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Raw dogging this exam today <- *doesn't remember half the material and doesn't have an english monolingual dictionary for the translation part*
#not bc i have to translate into italian but bc i'll have to either translate from ME or EME into contemporary english#😬#i mean. the dictionary is more of a vague help in case you're not sure but the spelling is close enough. but even then you need to be able#to recognise words on your own. not like you're going to find something like ''lyuyng'' in the dictionary#man just let me pass even with a 18 idgaf#mytext#uni
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when it comes down to it, people who face queerphobia and people who face misogyny, will always benefit more from solidarity than from the 'divide et impera' tactics of reactionarism.
no known society that weaponizes queerphobia for scapegoating ever remains a defender of womens' civic rights for long. tyrants will, bio-specifically, curtail female reproductive & financial autonomy after they don't have LGBTIQ or ethnic minorities to crack down on politically.


#anti reactionarism#queer legacy#straight women will also face queerphobia by association bc of queer allyship#there is sth called association stigma#thats why allies belong at pride#plus so many straight-passing or heteronormative women who built fandom spaces -fujoshi- are actually queer#honorary queer even idgaf
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i know this is just a way smaller symptom of the much larger problem with erasure & i know barely anyone even talks about these characters but it literally pisses me off SO much when people depict the original two 2004 vocaloids Leon & Lola as a little blonde blue eyed literally #FFFFFF white boy and barely tan, ashy skin straight haired girl. their voices were sampled originally from black singers and they were marketed as soul voices. i've certainly seen some AWESOME designs by other folks that correct this, but it just sucks so fucking much that those are the most widely recognized interpretation of them to the point that people have been confused or upset on occasion when people have used other designs for them. guys you have miriam too. certainly shes enough whiteness for you right. you dont need to make the other people white right.
it also sucks that since then, vocaloid had pretty much zero black vocalists until Chris & Amy in the base V5 pack (with the exception of CYBERSONGMAN (the whitewashing i've seen with him while not as bad as L&L is absurd too)) and even then they're very underutilized. I suppose from a musical standpoint I would get not using the base voices in general because in my opinion they're not very well done in comparison to vocalists created by other studios, but they can still produce a great product if you work with them correctly, and they're definitely still used less than the other base voices.
I think thats one of the many reasons why in recent years the community has made a slow but major shift over to SynthV and other programs instead. The available vocals are far more diverse and the available language selection is better than what vocaloid had made available within 20 years of existing. I'm not much of a fan of the upcoming SV2 because of the further integration of AI features(Personally- the "AI" part of the current SVStudio is fine to me. It's less "AI" and more an algorithm that uses and EXTREMELY extensive number of samples from the voice provider compared to the basic voices to find what sounds the most natural, it's off-network and all created consensually)(but whatever im not paying for it anyway. yar har har 🏴☠️) related to tuning and the lack of manual pitch control. For a lot of vsynth producers tuning is part of the art and considered a signature part of their style but this is a tangent and kinda losing relevance to what I was talking about.
My point is that I'm glad to see the tools available to vsynth artists diversifying, but as with any community i think there's still a problem with erasure left over and though they are fictional characters and not real people, and even if it doesn't matter to you, their representation and respect is important both to the real people they represent and to community as a whole
#i dont really know how to fit it in the post but theres def also a lack of non-white artists being held up in the community.#there r a lot of talented people out there and though i am a fan of many of the popular artists i think more talent should be recognized#i know these issues are technically not “my place” as a VERY white passing white/native guy but as someone who does have the privilege i-#-do think we should use our privilege for the sake of those who dont instead of ignoring even the small parts of issues just because they-#-dont personally affect you. because look at what ignoring issues that “don't affect you” is doing to the world right now. and to people.#i know vsynth diversity problems arent going to affect the political spectrum and the state of the world but the point is that its a small-#-piece of a larger issue and regardless of where we get a lack of diversity in the media we turn to to get away from the world will always-#-drag people down#neurotoxin simulator#important#and no idgaf if the post is long im not putting it under a read more for you lol. i dont wanna hide my opinions bc theyre “in ur way”#mb if any of this doesnt make sense btw. i just woke up and my brain decided it was time to be mad abt something
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I know I've likely already talked about it before, but. Garp has always believed in Luffy. He knew, nearly better than anyone else, what it took to thrive in this world. He'd seen Roger. He'd seen himself. But just as he knew Luffy's strength, he knew the forces that would work against his grandson. His fears had always taken the priority, his stubborness in refusing to acknowledge anything else triumphing any possible hope of Luffy's survival.
But the timeskip, after Marineford, Garp has become fully supportive of his grandson's endeavors. The point of his desire for Luffy to become the strongest Marines was in order to protect him, but following everything that's happened — Enies Lobby, Sabaody, Impel Down, Marineford — even he can tell that Luffy's long gone past the point of return.
There's grief. There always will be. But more importantly than that, after years and years of fighting it — of fighting Luffy — Garp has finally decided to put his trust in his grandson and the crew of misfits he'd acquired.
And he's proud of his grandson. He's so openly, enthusiastically proud of Luffy following the timeskip and he couldn't give less of a crap of who doesn't like it. It thrills him whenever he finds someone who likes Luffy, one of his crowning moments being when Shirahoshi only acknowledged him as "Luffy's grandfather". He'd never wanted the title of Hero, even if it was incredibly convenient, so if the world remembered him as nothing more than Luffy's grandfather, he would die happy with that.
#{ headcanon } ✗ 「 and my heart it sings of justice 」#[ absolutely made a post that's just like this already but what if I'm thinking about it again#[ he's proud!! of his grandson!! he brags about luffy!!!#[ and i think it's important that Luffy's given him hope that things can change. but that's its own post#[ idgaf what people think garp loves his grandson so much okay#[ rereading bits of reverie bc sending an ask to alice and just#[ in a beautiful world garp could've been part of the princesses n dalton talking ab luffy circle#[ i think he should hang out with people who like luffy okay#[ i think they should let peepaw be in an enviroment where he can cheer for his grandson without being scolded ab it#[ posts partially because i keep seeing ppl saying garp hates luffy and shaking my head#[ but mostly bc grahhhh#[ he's so proud of luffy.... would he ever.#[ express that directly to luffy? maybe#[ but like. he doesn't Need to insert himself into luffy's journey anymore do you understand he trusts luffy and his crew#[ he believes in them can anyone hear me---#[ his time has passed and he knows that and he's there for the next generation and it took so so so much grief and regret to get to here#[ but we're here now and there's no going back there's only forward okay okay
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i am very tired by people discussing transitioning as this sort of journey of self-actualization. happy it was like that for you but personally it was just better than not transitioning. i do not feel that i went on a beautiful journey of self-discovery so much as did what made me the least suicidal. to be fair, i was also 11 when i came out, so perhaps i would feel more purposeful about it if i had been in my 20s or later.
#i was actually extremely distraught when i realized being trans was what was Going On with me#just because well. i spent a lot of time thinking i was going to crack the code to being a woman#that it would all pass and eventually the feeling of wrongness around myself and the idea of an adult woman future self would go away#and most of what i was told by adults or read was along the same lines#but well. it wasn't passing. and the distress was quite a lot more severe than most girls' struggles around puberty seemed to be#and realizing that it was Never going to just go away and that i had to do something difficult and socially ostracized#in order to make the dysphoria stop was. upsetting. but again- the only option#i tried to ignore it for about a year actually! and when coming out when badly i tried to closet myself too#didn't work. hence realizing that dealing with social backlash and medical shit was the only way to deal with it#but yeah at no point did i ever feel like transitioning was like... some happy realization of how to become my True Self#ppl talk about it like fucking. realizing your true passion is painting instead of finance#and uh for me it was so profoundly not like that and i spent a long time wishing i would just stop being dysphoric#it's kinda people framing it as like.. a choice? and like idgaf if someone genuinely Does transition as a choice bc i trust them#to make their own decisions. but like. for most of us it is not a choice. a lot of us wish we did not Have to transition.#idk man. i guess it's this attempt to fight the idea that nobody should transition bc of how hard it is?#but instead it just starts to feel like denying that transitioning is hard in the first place
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