#not predicting the 1-2 would be COWARD SHIT please

[batsplat]

you don’t need to answer top2 if you wish but how do you think the championship standings will look like next year? besides the obvious stuff, i’m v excited to see what diggia has in store + bezz going up against martin + acosta (and ktm as a whole really) + the rookies!!

now see usually i'm a coward with this stuff and wait until pre-season's done to do predictions for the season, both championship order and rider market. this approach is a good idea because you're like 5% less likely to end up with egg on your face, just a bit more data to go off for both individual riders and - more importantly - broader manufacturer trends. i also usually don't post these predictions on the internet, which helps with the egg on face situation. i'm not sure predictions this far out are particularly useful because like. how would i know what aprilia's doing this winter. this is basically complete guesswork. but also it's funny being publicly wrong about things, so i'm not going to overthink this and just give you a championship order based on nothing but vibes, hope, and a dream

marc

pecco

pedro

jorge

diggia

binder

vinales

a. marquez

morbs

fabio

bastianini

bez

aldeguer

zarco

rinsy

oliveira

r. fern

mir

ogura

marini

miller

chantra

i did this in two minutes and i don't like it!! the main one that i don't feel GREAT about is bez, i thought the vibes were pretty good from his first test and it feels like i've stranded one aprilia in a completely different bit of the field to all the others. idk i think it's just that i see everything after the top two as quite congested and there were a bunch of people where i wasn't quite sure i could justify ranking them lower in my head - and admittedly some insane hopium where yamaha is concerned (listen, they can't be THIS shit forever, they just can't). (and hey, there's always a chance i'm actually being too pessimistic, and that midfield being kinda mid will get yamaha back in the mix!!) so that's how bez ended up slipping down quite far. the other problem is the ktm situation... the moment i commit to pedro at pee three i am apparently predicting that ktm has a remotely workable bike for this year despite *gestures*, which then means that i suddenly have three highly rated riders i can't be putting miles and miles away. and for that matter, bastianini having a mildly meh catalunya test (i automatically wrote valencia test lol) isn't really justification to put him four places behind vinales. but we move. 8-9 is a concession to the idea that the gp25 doesn't seem to be as radical a transformation as gp23 -> gp24 and year old bike this time will suit the michelin rear better - at which point a. marquez being a reasonably reliable performer and morbidelli being used to the machinery do come into play. i am actually an aldeguer hopeful (still, barely) but also idk man, i think if that bit of the ranking is congested then he could easily drop down quite a few places and i also think he could struggle quite badly especially early on. nothing ogura has done this season justifies me putting him fifteen places behind the lead aprilia, and yet idk who i'd bump for him. i think fourth for jorge is kind of pushing it and i could also foresee a season where... well, he's got his title now, he's not going to be fighting for the title this season, so he can go back to his high risk high reward ways of just trying to go for the win whenever possible even when the bike isn't QUITE there and as a result regularly binning it. but also idk who i'd want to bump ahead of him!! i think jorge has shown this season he CAN be an extremely reliable points scorer and he also ultimately i reckon he has more raw pace *even on limited machinery* than some of these other names so. idk. i think diggia will have a good season but fifth in the championship is already A Big Step for him and with that kind of injury, also no guarantee he'll be 100%. ultimately the problem is that i'm kinda not really particularly high on the stonks of any non-ducati manufacturer, but also the ducati rider field is SO depleted that i kinda feel like surely some riders can sneak through to take some spots in the chasm of ability that comes after marc/pecco. you can tell i rate zarco and do not rate fernandez and also think honda will just like... never get better ig? anyway i didn't actually switch a single position from when i quickly did this in two minutes and now i'm just over-justifying unknowable predictions so let's leave it at that, happy holidays lads

[ihopesocomic]

It's 2025 and it's been years since the last episode/update: can we as a species please move on from shit like MP? Every time I read about some new defense that MP fans are coming up with just so they can watch it guilt-free, I can only sit and think why? Even if the show was written decently: the creator is transphobic, she slapped multiple people (including a trans VA) with false allegations because her fweelings got hurt and she bailed rather than face criticism. Stop supporting her already.

I think the saddest part of all of this is Tribble doesn't even like her fans. So many creators in and out of the industry keep in contact with their fans because obviously without them, they wouldn't be where they're at. There's an innate gratefulness there. Tribble can't even be bothered to tell her fans that Season 2 is never happening, she's never making a comic, or whatever crumbs everyone is groveling for. I'm sure she'll be back if she needs some money from Makeship or whatever, with continuous months of no news. Is that someone who respects you? Is that someone who's worth your undying fealty?

I know a lot of her remaining fans are young teenagers who would rather watch a cartoon than read, but no one's forcing her to do a cartoon or nothing with her own content. She's already offered to write it as a book (like she also offered to do with COTW) but then she says she's only willing to do it if people subscribe to a Patreon, therefore getting fans' hopes up for no good reason. Whatever her reasons are, she certainly has enough drive to test the waters and see how far she can get by doing the least amount of work possible. Proof is in her community tab for the doubters who insist we're wrong.

Tribble always intended to leave because people were already openly criticizing her and seeing her for the person she truly was for nearly a year before we said or did anything. Because she's a thin-skinned coward and because MP wasn't raking in the opportunities she thought it would (who could've predicted this?). Her fans just don't want to accept this because 1) the mental gymnastics of blaming us for "driving her away" are too great to resist and 2) they don't actually care about what she did and actively play things down as opposed to us saying that her show isn't that great. God forbid.

You'd think that RJ having followed her work for years and us having years' worth of conversations with people who have worked for her on top of everything else out in the open would be sufficient evidence that we're not just making shit up. (Ironically, making up reasons to like/hate something is what these people excel at.)

Some have come to terms that Tribble just used them so she can get paid and bounce, but too many still have a vice grip on this embarrassing slop that only exists because Tribble has Warrior Cats views on Youtube. And since people confuse YT popularity with quality, well, we all know the ending to that sad story. Because of that mentality we get more slop like HH/HB.

The majority of these people have to make something up in their head to "defend" MP's writing, like quite literally all the "explanations" for characters' actions are 100% fabricated and was more effort than Tribble put into her own show, so how exactly do your headcanons cancel out anything that's there in front of your face? And these are the same people who have the temerity to say shows like Big Mouth and Velma are bad but MP and HH/HB are good, when MP and HH/HB are also offensive shoddily written dreck made by privileged individuals who don't care about you until they want more money from you.

And then people want to turn around and say IHS sucks because it's "not realistic" (even though we've never said we're trying to be realistic) or "just like Warrior Cats or TLK". Pick a real reason to not like our comic, I'm begging. If our comic was "just like Warrior Cats", hell they'd probably like it because it would have no gays and enough ableism to last them a quarter of a century, ha. But I'm clearly not interested in pandering to these smooth-brained goons whose highest standard for xenofiction is "no gays", if they can even get as far as opening so much as a Kindle or Audible app.

And I don't feel bad for saying this. Even other once-fans of MP can concur that current day MP stans are some of the most homophobic, transphobic, sexist, ableist, victim-blamey trash we've ever had the misfortune of giving the benefit of the doubt. (It's no wonder why they like the show so much because the characters - like Hover - enable this kind of atrocious behavior.) Quite a few of these testimonies are on our review alone. And I'm over it. The shit that's going on in the world has driven me to be exponentially less tolerant.

We now live in a point in time where being LGBT+ is considered a legit federal offense and we're just done. Some of you can piss and moan all you want when we say "no" and block you when 90% of your complaints about our comic concern it being LGBT+ and the other 10% is made-up or incorrect nonsensical bullshit that isn't worth writing on toilet paper. Why should we listen to you exactly? Why should we take everything out of this comic that - whether you like it or not - provides solace to people just to satisfy your bigotry that you try and hide behind a veil of pretentiousness? Get fucked. lol

And I am beyond tired having to keep explaining this to people who appear to not be used to the idea that maybe the thing they like has a ton of problems that far outweigh anything good about it. But then they go ahead and take it personally, because people are so chronically online, their identity is welded to "entertainment". Bot behavior, truly.

Even the existence of I Hope So is tainted, simply because MP was so indefensibly awful about queer/disabled representation. IHS shouldn't need to exist, but because of people like this it has to. Some people just want to read something that has animals, queer rep, and no ableism. But to some of these people, we may as well have killed their dog in front of them. We have seen people who have all but made it their life's mission to purposely misconstrue the whole comic, ourselves, and people we know. They should thank whatever space fairy they pray to that they're a bunch of nobodies whose only value is being a lolcow.

The best thing I can hope for these people is them moving the fuck on to literally anything else. They'd be happier for it, or less miserable at the very least. There has been so many good comics and cartoons to come out over the last 4 years. Maybe if people removed their head from their ass for two seconds, they'd manage to see some of it. - Cat

[onlymonica]

Editorial

So, here we are, about 24 - 72 hours from some sort of semi-decisive decision about who the next U.S. President will be.  It’s been nauseatingly slow, but refreshingly nonviolent (so far...)

What has this taught me?

1. Regardless of outcome, the U.S. has become a very dark, twisted place.  I can’t account for how so many people knowingly voted for a person who so blatantly hates so many, and has such terrible judgement.  If you could put every one of the previous 44 U.S. presidents in a room, Trump would be off in a corner while the others were scratching their heads saying ‘WTF is this guy doing in here?” (OK - truth be told, he’d be poking Nixon in the chest saying ‘Hey loser, look at what I got away with!!’)

2. I will never again believe anyone who says ‘Well, I don’t always like what he says or tweets, but I agree with his policies’.  Correction:  You fuckin’ LOVE what he says and tweets, but you’re too scared to say it yourself.  You’re a coward and a liar!!  On your next vacation, go find a fallen veteran’s grave to piss on, and don’t forget to send a pic to Trump!!

3. It’s o.k. to totally shit on other people and blame them.  Trump gives us this carte blanche.  Seriously, try this out.  Discover your limits, if any. 

But seriously folks, the aftermath of this is going to really suck.  I’m predicting a narrow Biden victory coupled with endless backbiting by Trumpers, aided by a totally unbridled Trump and family/associates.  Forget the traditional former president tradition of not publicly criticizing your successor.  Why?  Because the only reason that tradition started and persisted was for the interest of continuity of the Republic, not for someone’s personal ‘brand’.  

4. So, here’s the main point:  Trump’s ‘brand’ means more to him than the fate of the Republic.  Wait, if you’re sentient, let’s let that soak in again...

Trump’s ‘brand’ means more to him than the fate of the Republic. 

Yes, it’s true.  And please, if you disagree, try to articulate a cogent counter argument or I’ll just block your sorry ass.

Final Note: If you’re one of those ‘Hillary was harvesting kids’ organs to enable longevity’ types, please don’t respond.  Contact the flat earth folks and Hitler defenders since their numbers have depleted after Trump caught fire.  Spread the crazy, so it lasts.  

[antivirus-mh-au]

Antivirus - Chapter 2

TW: None Chapter 1 here Ao3 link If you like this, please leave a like, reblog, or send me an ask! It encourages me so much.

He blew the smoke from his mouth around the cigarette, the morning sun catching all the particles as they floated into the air. Tim drew the J on top of the fresh carton and dropped the pen onto the dashboard. Pulling the cigarette from his mouth, he drew in a deep breath of fresh air, fresh as you could get at a gas station by a highway. Looking around the parking lot, at the people filing in and out, he shook his head and gave a wry smile. Hard not to be in a good mood when you got some decent sleep for once.

Becca and Lukas were okay. Lukas's leg had been taken care of, and the two had set back off for Idaho, back to the families that loved them. Another success case for Timothy Kane. Another group of people adding to the myth of his existence. Seemed like every month there were more of them. The Operator never tired. The sickness never eased. In fact, it only grew worse.

But like hell was he going to start off a good morning with that depressing shit. He'd gotten paid, gotten rest, and he'd found out where the nearest library was with free internet. He was not going to let a rare moment of peace escape him. He'd lost too much for that.

The library wasn't far away from the gas station he'd refilled at. By the time he pulled into the parking lot, it was open, as were the windows on the front of the building. He spoke briefly to the clerk at the front desk, making sure he understood their internet rules and that it was okay for him to bring in his thermos of coffee, before finding a convenient spot by a power outlet. 

His laptop was getting old, it took a while for it to boot up. As Tim waited, he thumbed through a newspaper. Experts predicting a war with China for the third time in as many years, conflict in the Middle East, the royal family in Britain getting roped into some scandal or another. That was why he didn't read the news much, it was always the same. By the time he got to the comics (never his favorite part of the newspaper), his laptop had finished, and Tim traded the two without a second thought.

He could and did check his email on his phone but he was old-fashioned and preferred to use his laptop when he had the chance. Earlier Becca's mother replied to his report about her daughter returning home, a message he'd saved in a special folder he looked at when he felt particularly shitty. 

Another email was waiting for him now, from a 'Meridith Frederickson'. Another client, looking for her son and his missing best friend. He replied to that one, offering to schedule a Zoom meeting later that same day. By now he knew all too well what happened if he wasn't on top of his cases. 

And of course, he had new messages in the spam folder. Tim glanced over the subjects of the emails without opening any of them. Some didn't have any, but most were vaguely threatening, the kind he usually got from trolls and kids. 'Always watching', 'there's no escape', 'how could you', and on and on and on. People thought they could get a rise out of him by acting like totheark, but none of them even came close to what Brian had been all those years ago. 

Tim glanced at the tab next to his email, frowning. There was no sense in trying to put it off, even if he hated doing it. Everything on that site made him feel worse, and today had been a pretty good day. But if he didn't look, he'd regret it later, falling into a rabbit hole of updates that was guaranteed to fuck him over. So he opened YouTube.

The videos were taken down years ago, the channels involved with Marble Hornets wiped from the website. But that didn't mean they were gone, just hidden away on Google Drives and shock sites. What was on YouTube was... the fandom.

It made his skin crawl thinking about it. People from all over the world were obsessed with what he and Jay had been through. He'd seen hundreds of articles about the videos, from five minute listicles to long analysises about the events and the people involved. He'd seen other things, too, things he'd rather not remember. Like the fanart...

Out of everything, though, it was the YouTube community that unsettled him the most. The passionate, wide eyed college kids. The naive high schoolers. The older people, with their backgrounds in criminal science and forensics and cryptids and God knew what else. They picked over the videos and tweets and codes like vultures at a pile of bones. Like it was just a fictional web series, like people he knew and once liked weren't dead. And they spread the disease. It didn't take all of them, leaving the YouTubers alone, but claiming their followers. It made him sick thinking about all the people he couldn't save, the people who had no one left to try and find them, the people who vanished into Rosswood Park and were never seen again. It made him sick, watching these ignorant people talk about his pain as if they were all insects under microscopes.

But if he didn't pay attention, who knew what might happen. The Operator was watching all of them. One slip up was all it took.

He scrolled through both the front page and his subscriptions. The videos were, in the end, all the same. Speculation, discussion, analyzation. Some of them he could watch later. Others needed his attention now.

Tim’s eyes landed on a video, and his heart clenched. The Neophyte was streaming again.

The still image didn’t show much. Neophyte_Calling didn’t put much work into his channel. It was just a shot of what the streams normally showed, pale, unkempt hands poking free from black robes, resting on an old plastic table. That was what he expected to find once he opened the stream.

And he’d be correct, that was what awaited him once he got the courage to click. The hands twitched and clenched and dug at the table. It wasn’t the hands that were special though, it was what the owner of those hands were saying.

“Autumn after firestorm, the nights don’t listen and the butter is on the corn. Ten days or twenty paces of living guts wrapped around an old man’s neck. The water comes up to your waist but you don’t feel the attitude of denial inside the bastard daughter’s heart. Oh, god, eureka, industry was never so smooth…”

Complete nonsense. The ramblings of a man on some kind of drug, or lost to some unknown mental illness. Despite this, the chat flooded with messages. Donations popped up occasionally, attempts to get the Neophyte’s attention. He didn’t notice. He never noticed. He just kept talking. And he would keep talking until the stream ended on its own, or he passed out on the table.

People called him a prophet. Claimed every word he spoke had a double, or even a triple, meaning. They recorded every word he said and discussed them among themselves, coming up with ‘translations’ for his maddening dialogue. And to be fair, they could have a point. Sometimes, what the Neophyte said did seem to foretell events that happened not long after he spoke them. But the god the Neophyte channeled was not one Tim would ever ask someone to worship.

Silence. The man stopped talking, his fidgeting hands resting flat on the table. Dread filled Tim’s body. Speak of the devil, he was doing this again?

The Neophyte spoke again, his voice deeper now. The words came clumsy from his mouth, uncomfortable, heavy, as if he had never spoken before. The emphasis, the tone, it was all wrong. Tim had no trouble understanding them, however.

“You always fight,” It said through the Neophyte’s mouth. “You always resist. You tire, and exhaust, and fall. You continue to fight despite.”

The robes shifted, the head hidden from the camera’s view tilting.

“Tim,” It said. “You are a grain of sand. I am eternal. I am here. I will always be here. You understand. You continue despite.”

On the side of the screen, the chat surged with messages. It raced so quickly, Tim couldn’t have read any of them even if he tried. He didn’t look away from the livestream. 

“Tim,” It said again. “Enough. You have fought hard. You are getting old. That’s enough. It’s time to come home. To us. To all of us.”

The hair stood up on his arms, on the back of Tim’s neck. He shuddered.

“Like hell,” he whispered, and closed the tab.

But even though he closed the livestream, he could swear he heard the Neophyte, the thing puppeting him, whisper in his mind.

“Coward.”

When 2pm rolled around, Tim was back in his van in the library parking lot. Obviously he couldn’t do a Zoom call inside the quiet space, but their internet reached well past the parking lot. He sat on his bed, now folded up like a couch inside the converted van he lived in. His laptop open before him, the program open and ready. Now he just had to wait for her.

Hard to say what this Meredith Fredrickson would expect a private investigator like him to look like, but Tim did his best to look presentable anyway. Hair combed, beard trimmed, leather jacket kept to the side out of her line of sight - leather jackets weren’t worn by authority figures, and that was what he was trying to be right now. Not anyone could do this job, but who’s to say she knew that? If she didn’t like the way he looked, she could try to find someone else to find her son and his friend. And if she did that, by the time she realized only Tim could help her, it would be too late.

Thinking about it that way made him shudder.

Of course, while he was prepared to deal with what she thought he would look like, he wasn’t as ready for what she herself would look like. As the call began, and Meredith’s face came on screen, Tim hesitated. He looked at her closely again. Had he seen this woman before?

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Fredrickson,” He greeted.

The woman shook her head, her curly brown hair tossing around her slim shoulders.

“Meredith is fine,” she said. “I haven’t been called ‘Mrs’ since my husband died. I changed back to my maiden name - my son’s last name will be his, not mine.”

“Of course,” Tim said. Odd information to include, but people tended to ramble when they were nervous.

He looked at her again, at the frown lines developing around her lips, and the worry and pain in her wide-set eyes. Behind her was a normal looking home, a few windows with pale curtains, a kitchen kept clean from what little he saw. Something was nagging at him. What was it?

“Did you fill out the information packet I requested?” He asked.

Meredith nodded.

“Yes.”

The file appeared, Tim half-listening to her as he opened it.

“I know this is a very strange thing to ask from you,” Meredith said. “But circumstances have changed in a way I really didn’t expect. I know it’s hard to believe that after ten years my son could be alive, but I don’t have any other explanation for…”

She trailed off. Tim didn’t look away from the document she’d sent. The names written on the very first line.

Missing People: Jay Merrick and Alex Kralie

Motherfucker, had he been tricked?

Tim shot the woman a sharp glance, examining her expression in seconds. She was not the first person to ask him to track down Jay and Alex, but she was the first he hadn’t screened out before it got this far. Most people were upfront about their intentions, or were obviously trolling, or he otherwise got weird vibes from them. This Meredith had slipped him by, and wasted his time in the process.

“He is my son,” Meredith said. “I’ve included his birth certificate, since I thought you might not believe me.”

“I don’t need it.” A birth certificate? Those weren’t easy to fake, but Tim was no expert on Photoshop either. 

“I would’ve included Alex’s, too,” Meredith continued. “After all the years he and Jay knew each other, you would’ve thought I’d have it too.” She laughed, and there was pain within it. “But his parents died in a car accident about six years back, and…”

“Wait.” Tim refocused. “Alex and Jay knew each other?”

“Since the first year of middle school,” Meredith said with a nod. “I have a lot of photos of them. You know, Jay went through a phase, where he wore all black, and listened to rock music with singers I couldn’t understand. He got a tattoo of one of the bands on his ankle behind my back. I was so angry...”

She laughed again, and her eyes went distant. Tim stared at her, his mind flashing back to all the conversations he’d had with Jay, things that didn’t go into the videos. Being Alex’s childhood friend, since middle school - the phases he went through as a teen - that damn tattoo he was so embarrassed of. None of these were known by the fandom.

Oh god, this woman was the real deal. Even her face, now that he looked at her, was just like Jay’s. The distant look in her eyes as she thought… Jay got that same expression.

“Meredith,” he said, his voice softer, kinder. “Do you know about Marble Hornets?”

“I can’t bring myself to watch them,” she said. Meredith folded her hands together. “But I know what… what was shown on the videos. I know that they are…” She swallowed. “Considered dead by most people. I was one of them.”

His gut twisted. By most people, including her. “But something… changed.”

“Yes.” She took a deep breath, and moved to wipe her eyes. “I got a package in the mail about a week ago. Inside was a flashdrive and a few printed photos. It had been placed in my mailbox - I don’t know who sent it.”

Oh no, Tim thought. Not this again. Please, don’t play this game with people again.

“What were the photos?” He asked, aware of the sound of his own voice more than anything else.

“I’ve included most of them in the document,” Meredith said. “I… I still can’t believe what I’ve seen, but… But they don’t look like they could’ve been faked.”

Dread pressed down on his shoulders. Dread and something else, some kind of energy buzzing through his nerves. Tim looked at the document, scrolled down, and opened the photos.

Some were blurry, taken from a distance and zoomed in before being printed. Some were clear as glass. It took him several seconds to process what he was seeing, what the subjects of the photos were. Tim blinked, looked again, and his pulse quickened.

Alex, standing on a street corner, gray in his hair, exhaustion on his face. Jay in a dark cloth jacket with a hood, looking over his shoulders. Alex, and Jay, Alex, and Jay, in all the photos, in every single one. The clothes were different, the faces aged, but there was no denying what he was seeing, and like Meredith said, no way to fake what he was looking at.

“Oh my god,” Tim mumbled.

Jay and Alex were alive.

[huntsman-ash]

RWBY V8E3 LiveThoughts

Its Saterday and that means its time for everyones favorite post spam; Orca-mun bullshits about RWBY! And here we go.

On a personal note I barely ate anything today so my brain is jittery. I ate something before this of course but one does not solve low-food jitters instantly. So we’ll see how this goes.

Also the more that I hear the opening for this season the more I hear things that I have had Ash say before.  “The hope to change the world is just a childish dream”. It comes off in the song as kind of a poke at Ruby and her team, same way as how V3s opening was all about loosing and falling, but here I cant help but hear it in the voice of Ash, caustic and sarcastic, angry at the world for his own issues and putting it onto the “blind, naieve Huntress’s” Ironwood now has his team focused on.

Actually again, a lot of the song is talking about stuff that is probably coming up in the show. “The path we tried to avoid is already here”. “Path home is suddenly clear”. Basically hinting RWBYs going back to Vale at some point. But we knew that already.

And again, the part with time stopping while Cinder walks among the fighting reminds me of a shittier version of the I Know You trailer for Halo Wars 2.

And now the episode actually starts. Apperently, riding the pnumatic tubes does NOT instantly kill you. Im...half dissapointed. At the same time it makes sense, they seem to be fully sealed so. 

Doesnt seem like its fun though thats for sure.

Dear Blake; please stop being adorable.

Oh, and we get to see how Penny see’s the world too. Interseting. Wireframe with data...and shes unintentionally doing the Konami Code if Im not mistaken.

Also cool to see that the active camo semblance works exactly like Halo’s active camo, ergo; its bending light, not true invisibility, since you can JUST BARELY see the shimmer where they are.

And this moment is a painting I like to call; Five Lesbians and a Robot in an Elevator. Legit shocked Atlas doesnt have elevator music...

And we finally, FINALLY get some reference on the storm. Shorter Atlas trooper sayd “they cant get too close to that storm without getting shot out of the air”.  Okay...so Salem actually has defenses against airships? Couldnt they have SHOWN THAT?

Also, props to the female VA for sounding like AN ACTUAL FUCKING SOLDIER. “CO can get us some answers”...hell yeah. And then Nora’s randomly a dick for...no reason.

Penny’s finger has a scomplink just like in Star Wars.

And they didnt think to remove Peitro’s security clerance, alright then. Someones gonna know they were there though since she used his ID...but maybe thats part of the deal. They get in and get out fast.

Central Command is so dissapointingly small. I HATE IT. ITs two rows of consoles and like...8 dudes. No, wait...three rows? For a place this big it should be six times the size and look more like NASAs mission control.

Nice to have some data on how Ruby’s semblance works though. She apperently breaks herself down to her component molecules and negates her mass and HEY thats how I said Ash moved! DAMMIT RT

Also I guess Remnant follows SOME laws of physics.

NGL Blake is suddenly being a better character now that shes not held down by Yang. Might just be me though. 

“Busy” says Ironwood. In my head, the five minutes before this shot; EXECUTIONS EXECUTIONS ALL THE EXECUTIONS. MUCH PURGING, VERY CLEAN NOW.

Oh I LIVE for the sudden look of shock on Watt’s face. Bro KNOWS what Ironwood can do. That said, obviously hes going to turn on him because...duh. Its Watts. But hey, least hes a little afraid. Unless its an act.

His acid snark against Penny is refreshing. “Magic science project” indeed.

Oh, thats why hes so worried. FOUR DUDES AIMING GUNS AT HIM. Nice. 

CALLED IT

“Authorization granted to handle any threats with lethal force”. GOOD. 

Oh no, Nora’s got an idea now. Im worried.

I get the feeling the random office geek guy that Nora trips is someone from RTs office, hence the “#1 Dad/Dud” mug. Dumb

Home made sign. Really. REALLY.  UGH GOD DAMMIT RT. 

Funny sign though.  Also the scream from the tech is so fake its not even funny

Wow. For fuck sake. Thats how they get through. Seriously.

Seems I paused at the right moment. Blake is very confused about being inside Ruby.

Nice to see that Atlas follows OSHA regulations and has railings on its weird catwalks.

Hardlight forcefield door? Interesting. I guess May went off to steal an airship or something.

Also this is something I JUST remembered but I thought Johanna was the trans member. Actually thats May. So thats my bad.

HAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT MINDJACK!

Why’re there holes on the base of Penny’s gloves...

No logiccal sense to half of Atlas’s tech, glad to see that hasnt changed any.

Blake is me when my dads working at his office and taking way to long to do anything.

Blah blah okay talk less do more shit. Character stuff BORES ME

Hm. Nora speaks the truth.

ANNNNDDD its the Ace Ops. Now lead by Hare.  ...no cuffs. No heavy equipment. No gas weaponry. Nothing. They know exactly how strong these people are and instead they show up with ALL OF THEIR OLD STUFF. Are you fucking serious.

STOP TALKING AND JUST KILL THEM ALREADY DAMMIT! Marrows comment is how I feel. But I think hes lying. As does he, I think.

I like how its Vine doing the talking, and that they start by trying to REASON with them. They’re scared. They know they might not win again.  They’re taking the cowards root. To no ones fucking shock.

UHHHGGGG all of this fukcing mind shit with Penny is really pissing me off.

Good, now the fighting starts. Thattttss why they;re on the platform.

Hey, actual teamwork out of the Aces, kinda. I guess their boss being dead helped.

Okay seriously how the HELL is she not fighting this easier? Shes a robot, surely she has predictive combat algorithms...

Man Marrows getting SHIT ON this fight.

Mmm. Hare thighs. I like

Weiss says the truth for once

And all the fancy work and fighting is ended simply by a beefy woman grabbing Penny. I like that honestly. Simplicity, brutality.

Wait never mind.

HAHAHAHAH OFF THE Wall and now she flies. No shock.

HAHAHAHAH YES

Good shit. Good work Marrow.

Well that works. JESUS FUCK Nora.

Yow they’re not DEAD. Excuse me

Oh look Nora’s...wow. Cool, scars.

Still mad Pennys swords are on wires, but hell. Wire funnels are wire funnels. Or would those be incoms? I dont quite remember the distinction.

Marrows quiet look is kinda sad. Oh good nora’s not dead.

But they are down a person and...ah. They’re letting them go. Death Star tactic.

New ship design, havent seen this one before. The whole top part opens which is interesting to me. And then she just GONE. 

Ah. So thats what they were doing. Cool.

Obviously gonna backfire, but hey, who knows. Maybe RT will surprise us.

Annnddd thats it for the show.

[libralita]

Title: Rhythm of War

Author: Brandon Sanderson

Summary: After forming a coalition of human resistance against the enemy invasion, Dalinar Kholin and his Knights Radiant have spent a year fighting a protracted, brutal war. Neither side has gained an advantage.

Now, as new technological discoveries begin to change the face of the war, the enemy prepares a bold and dangerous operation. The arms race that follows will challenge the very core of the Radiant ideals, and potentially reveal the secrets of the ancient tower that was once the heart of their strength.

At the same time that Kaladin Stormblessed must come to grips with his changing role within the Knights Radiant, his Windrunners face their own problem: As more and more deadly enemy Fused awaken to wage war, no more honorspren are willing to bond with humans to increase the number of Radiants. Adolin and Shallan must lead the coalition’s envoy to the honorspren stronghold of Lasting Integrity and either convince the spren to join the cause against the evil god Odium, or personally face the storm of failure.

Rating: ★★★★★

Review:

In my Dawnshard review I predicted the back would say mother of machines and it diddddd.

Oh nooooooooooo it’s Taravangian that will have the story oh nooooo

Odium trapes them? Revolt. Let’s gooooo!

NONONONONONONON don’t go to Mraize.

Sja reminds me of vapor from Skyward.

Wait a minute wait a minute Radiant HQ is called the tower and there’s death rattles about the tower. Gotta reread those.

The sibling is the child of Honor and Cultivation.

Noooooooooooooo Jasnah, Dalinar don’t go

Also this reminds me of Sadeas’ betrayal.

SAZEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ahhhh so Radiant is where Shallan’s brain went. Got it.

THE STUMP IS COMING ALONG

IT’S ONE OF THE THINGS FROM ERA 2!!!!!!!!!

Pattern keep away from Wit

Gallant is gonna talk back someday.

I see Shad’s contribution is paying off.

FELT

I’m sure that the woman who sees Shallan’s agents as tools is totally the woman who wants to end slavery for the lols.

ADOLINNNNNNNNNN

SAZED YOU SPOKE TO OTHER SHARDS?! Wholesome bean.

Some kind of shade?

Brandon Brandon Brandon are you…giving us the shard names/ NOW?

Whimsy. Mercy. Valor.

Kal can you go talk to Taln and maybe Ash?

This…this is what Kaladin should be doing.

I just realized that Elhokar might have been in the unseen court. Now I’m sad.

Formless probably represents her father.

Wait nooooooooooooo SZETH STAY THE FUCK HERE!!! SZETHHHHHHHHHH Kal, it’s up to you to swear the fourth ideal.

GAV NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

SEBARIAL. Finally this book can reach its true potential.

God this makes Misborn Era 2 so much more stressful.

Is it one of the spren Venli has?

Ummmmmmmm ummmmmmmm ummmmmmm are you talking about Wax??????

Did Adolin just figure out Mraize’s plan?

She’s…held a cube?

Poor Honor Spren Tsundere.

Hello Venli. Nice to see you here in your own damn book.

The team must surprise the Honor Spren. Something they have never seen before. Something that will right the wrongs of the past. You know what you must do Adolin.

Kal take your own advice and talk to your parents.

Not all spren…were imagined…by men. Oh…oh god. No no no I am not about to think about these implications.

Okay clearly lift would be a good pick to go on this mission because all she would need is food to become awesome.

TSUNDERE SPRENNNN SAVE HIMMMMMMMM

Pattern….

UGH ADOLIN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. C’MON!!!

Nooooooooooooooooo Adolinnnnnnnnnnnn just…just…ughhhhhhhhh

Navani don’t go zip.

Brandon I swear to god if you kill someone off screen I’m going to yeet you into a chasm.

Wait a minute is the sibling speaking to Navani? Did I already guess this?

NAVANNNNNNNNIIIII I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET GO OF THE SPHEREEEEEEEEEEEEE

Flame spren at edgy looking.

We’re doing this nowwwww?

Dabbid??

“Storm off with the lectures for once, Father!”—Page 494

Satisfying.

Also Brandon we’re half way through and there’s another climax.

Moash is hereeeeee.

Navani, my love, now is not the time.

…Hire Navani? Excuse me? Navani….

“Regardless, please make yourself known to me when you travel my lands. It is distressting that you think you need to move in the shadows.”—Page 535

Wholesome bean. I love him.

Oh Lirin….

“Poor Kaladin. There was freedom available for his old friend. Two freedoms, in fact. But he doubted Kaladin would ever accept the same freedom as Vyre, so he offered him the other one. The sweet peace of nonexistence.”—Page 551

Ahhh so he is a bastard. Got it.

“He knew it, sure as he knew the sun was hot, and that it circled Roshar forever.”

Um….

You…he…MOASH THAT MOTHER FUCKER. Redemption is a theme.

“PERHAPS. YOU COULD INFLUENCE HIM IN SMALL WAYS ONLY. PERHAPS EACH NIGHT, WHEN HE SLUMBERS…HE THINKS OF YOU STILL, AND THERE IS MORE. A CONNECTION BECAUSE OF YOUR PAST, YOUR SHARED DREAMS. ANY BOND SUCH AS THAT CAN BE MANIPULATED.

WILL THIS BE ENOUGH? IF WE SHOW HIM VISIONS, WILL THAT BREAK HIM?

‘It will be a start. I can bring him to the brink. Get him to step up to the ledge.’

THEN WHAT?

‘Then we find a way to make him jump,’ Moash said softly.”—Page 554

You know I have been told that redemption is a theme in Stormlight Archive.

So I have a theory that the Radiant Spren are some way connected to different main cultures on Roshar. So Althei are Honor Spren. Azish are High Spren and now Shallan’s notes say that Cultivation Spren are merchants so now that slots well Thaylen. Peak spren are…probably Horneaters but who knows.

Ooooooo do I smell romance for Lift?

Wyndle is so cute.

“An old flute that Wyndle said looked strange.”

*Covers face* oh my god she has Wit’s flute. Go give that to Kaladin.

Brandon you’re just going to drop Nightwatcher lore? Now? “Why…if Mother is involved…perhaps this isn’t Stormlight you use at all.” ???? Then what is it???

Hmmmmmmm lets not talk about the Sleepless.

OH NOOOOOOO MRAIZE. OH NO HE WANTS TO HUNT LIFT.

Come on dumb Taravangian.

For some reason, Taravangian reminds me of Dr. Marcoh from Fullmetal Alchemist.

I feel like Navani is going to sass the shit out of Raboniel.

“Awespren burst around her in a ring of blue smoke. Soulcasters didn’t hold spren because they were spren. Manifesting in the Physical Realm like Shardblades. Spren became metal on this side. Somehow the ancient spren had been coaxed into manifesting as Soulcasters instead of blades?”—Page 593

I…you…WHAT?

Ralkalest? Interesting name.

“By showing everyone that our lives will all be improved by working together.”

A) I don’t trust you and B) not if Odium yeets Roshar into the sun.

Noooooooooooo Dalinar it’s worseeeeee.

NALE???

Where’s Taln and Ash in all of this?

So many people wearing a lot of rings. Wait, is that Navani?

“Why hadn’t the Sibling mentioned this immediately?”—Page 622

Navani finally understanding Dalinar’s pain.

I love Navani and Kaladin interacting.

*nervous about Mink*

“‘What is a cow?’

‘Big, juicy, delicious. Wish I could still eat them. You don’t seem to have them around here, which I find amazing, as I’m sure there was one somewhere in Sadeas’s lingage. Paternal grandfather perhaps. Watch the highprinces. There’s almost certainly going to be a show.’”—Page 638

1) RIP you can’t eat meat because you were a Dawnshard 2) True 3) Uh oh.

She did that to pocket another Highprince.

Excuse me, who’s Axindweth?! Wait the rings on her fingers. Is she a feruchemist? Did she do something to Venli’s mother?

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

“‘Grampa,’ Litte Gavinor asked. ‘Was my daddy brave when he died?’”—Page 664

Suffering. Endless suffering. Leave me alone.

Okay, this is good information.

Rlain and Venli reunion!!!

Eshonai and Dalinar interaction!

BRANDON I WAS NOT PROMISED YOUNG BLACKTHORN FEELINGS. LEAVE ME ALONEEEEEE.

Wait is the person writing Rhythm of War Navani? But that doesn’t make sense because Michael Kramer is reading it, usually that means it’s a man reading it. Is it Gavilar?

El? I mean the only El I know is…Elend.

Is Kaladin going to say the Fourth Ideal when he realizes that he can’t save Moash?

I’m glad that El is unknown and there are more than one person talking. Perhaps with every new page a different person is talking. I’ll just leave it to the 17th Shard to crack.

A VOIDSPREN IN A CREMLING? Arclo?

Hesina? Why does Rlain want to meet with Hesina?

Mraize and Rabionel are talking. Also I just realized that Mraize reminds me of Vandal Savage.

LIFTTTTTT!!!

Lifelight? Excuse me? I fucking…hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I see that Navani has now adopted Kaladin. Good shit. Also I am living for the Navani/Kaladin interaction.

OW WHY MUST I SUFFER?

“Navani turned toward Raboniel, steeling herself against the memories brought forth by the sight of the sword. She could cry for her child again tonight, as she had done many nights in the past. For now, she would not show these creatures her pain.”—Page 732

Hell yeah.

When did Eshonai become British?

“‘That’s annoying,’ Kaladin said.

Yes, it is mildly inconvenient that we have to wind a crank to experience the wonder of making a human being safely levitate hundreds of feet in the air.

‘Pardon, Brightness, but I can usually do it with far less trouble.’

Which is meaningless right now, isn’t it?

‘I suppose it is.’”—Page 743

Look at these two sass each other.

Ivory’s my new favorite.

So, like how gods have metals, do all gods have lights?

Is Venli the one that Navani thinks is insane? I don’t think so?

Navani, you are going to bond with the Sibling. I know it.

I love Navani and the Sibling’s interaction.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

“You are not merely a storm! Dalinar bellowed, his voice changing to rumbles of thunder. You are capable of choice! You hide from that, and in so doing, you are a COWARD!”—Page 821

God I love Dalinar scolding the Stormfather, it’s so funny.

FINALLY DALINAR KNOWS! Also…that’s some interesting font you got there…

“But I have another task. I need to find a way to speak to the god-priest, then convince him to help me rescue Urithiru.”—Page 825

Good luck, kid.

Szeth-son-Honor. Oh my heart. It almost makes up for the fact that I’m so sad for Navani.

Excuse me, Chiri-Chiri is getting a pov. Brandon, stop writing while drunk.

“Szeth froze as the little boy, Gavinor, stepped up to him. He raised a wooden sword hilt-first toward Szeth. The boy should fear him, yet instead he smiled and waggled the sword.

Szeth took it, hesitant.”—Pages 834-835

MY HEART! OH MY GOD THAT’S SO CUTE I COULD DIE. BRANDONNNNNN.

Rysn! You weren’t supposed to tell him!

Poor Rysn. She doesn’t get a break.

Koravari. Did we just get Cultivation’s name?

The Deadeyes are probably sensing something…else.

“The target called himself ‘Sixteen.’”—Page 864

Yep that’s him. (Nope.)

How is that that Shallan shutting out her two other personalities is worse for her?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hi Nale.

Oh, Shallan must have bonded a different spren and killed it.

Restares is Kalak. Shooketh. But did Gavilar know that? Because wasn’t he speaking with Kalak with Nale. So…I’m confused.

Restares is the one writing this then.

I think I pointed out how Rlain was named Shen like Pashendi.

Remember everyone, redemption is a theme.

WIT!

“You can’t know any of this, because you live on a giant ball of rock full of slime where everything is wet and cold all the time.”—Page 913

Agreed.

“This is a dog, Kaladin. They’re fluffy and loyal and wonderful.”—Pages 913-915

At least we agree, Hoid.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S A DRAGON ON ROSHAR?! AND SHE PREFERS TO HIDE. HOID! BRANDON!

It has been decided that Wit getting a spren was a massively bad idea. (Not that anyone should have been under the delusion that it was a good idea from the start.)

This is very late in my notes but: I don’t know Brandon, why does Azure look Althei while other Nalthians don’t?

Is the dog…Lassie?

I’m going to take notes on Design so I can write a fanfic where Elhokar lived, became a Radiant and then joined the Unseen Court like the nerd he is.

What? Trusting Mraize is stupid? No shit.

So, I was wrong about Shallan pretending to be Ialai…but she might consider being Kalak.

Kalak is more of an asshole than Wit.

I feel like not only the FuckGavilar subreddit will arise out of the this book but also the FuckLirin subreddit. Seriously? Are there any good fathers on Roshar? Dalinar barely just became one.

So the metal is Raysium.

Fuck Dabbid just became my new favorite character. Who the heck would have seen that coming?

LIFT YOU CAN WAKE THEM UP!? Alright plan: either get Lift to Lirin so she can heal a few Radiants for backpack or head straight for that storming pillar and heal the Sibling. LET’S GO GO GO GO! TIME FOR THE THIRD CLIMAX!

Please Tsundere—YOU DID IT!!!

“They could be purchased from a group of strange traveling merchants called the Eyree.”—Page 976

Ire.

So the Rhythm of War is Navani and Rabionel talking?

Did they have sexy time?

Oh no Shallan killed that cryptic

I WAS FUCKING RIGHT! THUDE IS ALIVE. FUCK YEAH!

Radiant killed Ialai

SOBSSSSS FOR SHALLAN

OKAY MAYA SPOKE WAS ALSO CRY WORTHY

I supposed that night scarred Jasnah just as much as Shallan.

Also Witnah confirmed.

No…Teft…no no no no no no no. I sobbed so much. I hate you Brandon so much.

Aww man I feel so fucking bad for Moash that he can’t see. I’m so sorry. I will weep for you endlessly. Bastard. No man or woman has ever been sexier than when Navani Kholin said “Journey before Destination, you bastard.”

Nononononononono

“Final terms are these: A contest of champions to the death. On the tenth day of the month Palah, tenth hour. We each send a willing champion, allowed to meet at the top of Urithiru, otherwise unharmed by either side’s forces. If I win that contest, you will remain bound to the system—but you will return Altehkar and Herdaz to me, with all of their occupants intact. You will vow to cease hostilities and maintain the peace, not working against my allies or our kigndoms in any way.

Agreed. But if I win, I keep everything I’ve won—including your homeland. I still remain bound to this system, and will still cease hostilities as you said above. But I will have your soul. To serve me, immortal. Will you do this? Because I agree to these terms.”—Pages 1178-1179

Fuck.

Cultivation you absolute fool.

“The Lord of Scars, Wit calls him. Well, when you next meet this Lord of Scars, give him a message from me…Tell him we’re done with his meddling. His influence over my people is finished. Also, Wit says to tell him, ‘Deal with your own stupid planet, you idiot. Don’t make me come over there and slap you around again.’”—Page 1197

I was joking before but…no. It’s him.

I guess Kal and Szeth are going to Shinovar. That’ll be some interesting character interaction.

You, sir, do not deserve the name El.

Also we are so fucked. Beyond fucked. Unbelievably fucked. It may be set up that Wit figured out this set up was too perfect however he might. So WE. ARE. SO. FUCKED.

[strikearose]

IT’S ALL ABOUT CONNECTIONS (SASUNARU) (P. 2)

I hope you guys are safe. Here’s the second part of that silly !YoutubeSasuNaru story. Please feel free to give me your impressions <3 Summary :  Sasuke has had that massive crush on a youtuber for years when Rasengan randomly starts going to his class… You can also read it on ff.net and ao3. Part 1 (clic), Part 2 (clic), Part 3 (clic)

9:27.

Sasuke shook his head, annoyed at himself. There was nothing to be done : all hope of being able to concentrate again on what Mr. Sarutobi was telling had definitely vanished almost half an hour ago, when a certain blond head had finally made his noteworthy arrival. His last bit of coherent notes somehow proved it : the tip of his pen had dramatically crashed onto the sheet of paper, leaving a huge blotch of blue ink on top of it.

But no matter how much he was struggling, his onyx eyes were literally hypnotized by the psychedelic motif of the one Kiba who had called out (with way too much familiarity to his liking) ‘Hey Naruto, here !’.

No one in the auditorium had seemed the least surprised to see Rasengan bursting out in their class like that.

No one had made the slightest remark about this unusual interruption.

And worse than that - no one had flinched (or even giggled) at the sight of that awful washed out t-shirt.

The class had resumed straight-away as if nothing had happened for everyone, except for Sasuke, who couldn’t take his eyes off the curious pair only located a few rows away.

Kiba Inuzuka and Naruto.

Naruto.

It must have been his real name as he immediately turned towards the insufferable brown-haired boy before settling down beside him, a big grin on both of their faces.

So Rasengan’s real name was Naruto.

Naruto.

A strange name, but one that rolled almost pleasantly on the tongue.

Na-ru-to.

A name that months of search online had not been able to find.

Damn it - was it really like that? Rasengan just showed up one morning in the middle of their class and the teacher, without even batting an eyelid, let him sit next to… Kiba ?

… Just like that?

Kiba Inuzuka was dissipated, noisy and frankly dumb. If Rasengan really had just joined their class, wouldn’t it have been more appropriate to have him sit next to someone more serious? Someone who could at least explain to him what this class was all about? Someone reliable, rigorous.

Well - someone like him, for instance.

Tss - why did things never turn out like in a damn manga?

**

The next two days confirmed what Sasuke had understood. 'Naruto’ had really joined them in the middle of October. Incidentally, it had came to his knowledge that the blonde had previously taken a distance learning course.

Unfortunately, the black-haired man had not yet found a way to get in direct contact with the newcomer - even though, judging by the familiarity with which his classmates were already addressing him, it didn’t seem like that much of a challenge. Naruto seemed to be one of those people who didn’t need to be integrated: all he had to do was to jump into someone’s conversation after hearing them talk about music or a tv-show - and that was it, he was one of them. He didn’t care if he was interfering something or being intrusive - and no one seemed to mind: everyone welcomed his companionship with open arms.

In less than a week, Rasengan had become the complete idol of Konohamaru Sarutobi (who was trying in to follow him wherever he went), he had also managed to make the shy Hinata come out of her shell for a bit, and - more incredibly !, her cousin even seemed to tolerate his presence in class. And God knew how hard it was to be tolerated by Neji Hyuuga.

In short - it had taken Naruto less than a week to truly became one of them. It wasn’t just Inuzuka now - no, even that would have been too easy in comparison -, Rasengan was always surrounded by people.

Whether it was in class, during break time, in the cafeteria, at the washrooms, and even on the way to the subway, Rasengan was never alone. It was as if fate has decided to take away from Sasuke any possibility to talk to him.

His happy-go-lucky attitude, the honesty gleaming if his eyes, that damn smile that never seemed to leave him, even his laugh seemed to be contagious. There was something in Naruto, as in Rasengan, that you couldn’t help but notice, that made you wanting to be closer to him.

And just like Shino, who had mysteriously started to hand out more and more band stickers, Sasuke Uchiha had started to spend more and more time in the cafeteria, a place that Naruto and his clique seemed to be particularly fond of. It was their headquarters to him, Inuzuka, Nara, Sakura and many others.

And it was there that their very first interaction took place.

For once, Sasuke wasn’t even listening to their conversation: the hot drink machine had just been replaced and he was just trying to order a coffee.

« Yeah, you may not know it but it’s been six years since Mister Naruto has gone into that Youtube thing. »

The black-haired man’s sixth sense leapt up and, now paying way more attention to the conversation, pressed whatever first button within his reach.

« Ah, you say that, Kiba, but I might have a fan here ! »

Boom, boom.

It seemed to Sasuke that all eyes in the room had just laid on him - as if his moment to enter the stage had finally arrived.

But no: no one - literally no one - not even that harpy Ino or even Sakura were paying the slightest attention to him.

Everyone was watching Naruto.

« Pffft if it’s true, I’ll pay you lunch - Kiba giggled and turned towards the other tables of the cafeteria - Hey people, a star is among us! Does anyone recognize him? »

The entire cafeteria turned towards the blond videomaker who, not in the slightest embarrassed, had even stood up with a big grin on his face.

Sasuke hesitated for a moment before daring to do the same and looked at Rasengan.

A few seconds passed without a single voice being heard.

« Come on, nobody? - Kiba laughed - Ino dear? Saku darling? »

The two young women rolled their eyes before the nickname but ultimately shook their heads.

« Mr. Hatake perhaps? »

The teacher, who had come inside to get a snack, scratched his cheek before answering in the negative too. His knowledge in terms of videos were of a completely different kind.

With a triumphal grin, Kiba’s eyes wandered over all the students facing them, one by one, before stopping on the only one who hadn’t reacted yet.. - the opportunity was way too good.

« Well now, Sasuke? I think you’re his last hope. »

That was it.

His moment had finally arrived.

All eyes, including Rasengan’s, instantly laid upon him. They were hung upon his every word.

But Sasuke, once again, had just drowned into the silent contemplation of the blonde. But that time - it wasn’t about those blue, blue eyes, it was because of beautifully tanned skin.

They were now near the end of October, but it was as if he had just come back from vacation. It was almost indecent.

Luckily for him, the group had no idea of what was really going inside his head. They’ve all known Sasuke for most of their teenage years so the reason why he was looking at Naruto up and down was only because of that perfect opportunity to grow his momentum.

He was such a smart ass.

« Mhh no, I never saw your face before. »

Boom, boom.

Sasuke cursed himself for being such a coward, but there was no way he could make such a confession in front of the others - and certainly not in front of that stupid Inuzuka.

The group laughed as they saw Naruto’s sulky face.

« Hey ! - the student with the tousled blond hair tried in vain to defend himself - you can laugh all ya want! In the meantime, my channel is really growing ya know. I almost have four hundred thousand subscribers. That’s near half a million! »

The laughter doubled in intensity. Defeated, Naruto finally sat down with a sigh.

« You won’t say the same in a few months, you’ll see! »

The coffee machine made a jingling sound behind Sasuke, still under the shock of what had just happened, he took the cup of disgusting green tea and promptly left the cafeteria. He tried his best to keep a steady walk.

He still couldn’t believe it : he had just talked to Rasengan.

And it hadn’t went that bad.

**

Their first real discussion only happened few days later. And once again, Sasuke couldn’t have predict it.

When he had arrived at the uni, he’d been displeased to see a herd of students clustered in front of the bulletin board. It could only mean one thing: the results of the mid-term exams were in.

Oh.

His overall average had increased by half a point since his last semester - not so bad. And unsurprisingly, he was once again valedictorian, although the Nara was getting closer and closer to him.

He was seriously going to be wary of him.

His onyx gaze moved up on the list - just in case…

Found it.

Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto.

The name right after his.

For an overall average of nine…-

« Ninety-nine, a voice suddenly came from behind him and he jumped. SHIT! I was almost there. »

With frowned brows, Naruto took a good second to notice the presence of the model student.

« Oh, hey Sasuke! »

He had greeted him casually, a thousand miles away from suspecting what the dark-haired young man felt when he heard his name come out of his lips.

« I’m not passing, but I’m reaaally close to it. That should do it for the semester !, smiled the blonde, rubbing the back of his neck. What 'bout ya? »

That was it.

It was time to find something cool to respond to, something biting, intriguing. Something that came out of the ordinary. But without overdoing it.

…

In the end, Sasuke had to bring himself to state his result flatly.

«  Seventeen zero three.

- Oh shit, Naruto’s mouth opened wide. You’re actually pretty smart!

- …Yeah. »

Once again, Sasuke mentally cursed himself. It was really the only thing he could find.

However, Naruto didn’t seem to mind and the Uchiha’s overconfidence even made him chuckle.

Needless to say, after that Sasuke was on cloud nine the entire day.

**

Ting.

Sasuke took another sip of tomato juice before lowering his word processor window to open his web browser. He had this annoying habit of always leaving a facebook tab open, just in case.

Shino Aburame invites you to the following event…

Shino Aburame?

Uchiha arched an eyebrow, puzzled - he didn’t even know how that guy had ended up in his friends list. He clicked on the notification and almost choked when he saw what it was all about:

Shino Aburame invites you to the following event: Radioactive Worms concert on November 5th 8:30pm - Coffee Rokudaime.

…

Thanks, but no thanks.

The mouse pointer was about to click on the “Ignore” button on its’ own initiative when a crucial piece of information suddenly jumped out at him: 13 of your contacts are interested.

Well.

Before refusing for good, he could at least do a quick check.

A satisfied smile stretched his lips as he recognized among those names that of Kiba Inuzuka - a first.

Because if ’Naruto Uzumaki’ was nowhere to be find on Facebook, Sasuke knew at least where to find him in town: always in company of that loser.

**

Sasuke was late, fashionably late - the concert had already started for at least fifteen minutes. Suigetsu, who was dragging his feet behind him, cursed as soon as the first notes of music reached their ears. Well, to his defense, Sasuke had left him little choice - he had come to fetch his old fencing buddy at home, claiming a sudden urge to go for a drink and insisted on not going to the bar that was just in his street, choosing instead to make him walk three kilometers.

And the least that could be said was that Radioactive Worms was a very appropriate name.

Sasuke promised Suigetsu to buy him a drink as they soon as they could reach the counter. He somewhat felt quite sorry for the silver-haired young man, knowing how much he liked electro music, but - hey, he really needed an alibi.

There was no way he could look like a geek with no social life when he’d run into the entire Uzumaki gang -no.

Sacrifices had to be made.

And the gang really couldn’t get unnoticed : Kiba, Konohamaru and Lee (what the hell was Lee Rock doing here?), glued to the front of the stage, were already doing some weird kind of pogo dancing.

Sasuke squinted his eyes - there was no trace of the characteristic blonde hair he was looking for.

« Woh Sasuke, I can’t believe it! Is that Rasengan at the bar? »

This news had the effect of a bomb for Sasuke who promptly followed Suigetsu’s finger… to see Naruto ordering a mug of beer. The dark-haired young man took a deep breath before he walked with a decided step towards the videomaker, without even taking the time to answer his friend. He had finally managed to get rid of the dimwits, it was now or never!

« Oh, hey Sasuke! - Naruto was finally the one who started the discussion when he sensed a presence behind him - I didn’t know you were a fan of metal! »

'I didn’t either��, he failed to retort in time, while Suigetsu (who obviously felt obliged to follow him) was looking at him in awe.

The Hozuki was one of the few people who knew about Sasuke’s special appeal… to the blond guy’s videos. In fact, he’d had that bad habit of teasing him about so-called crush for a really long time. It happened so much that the upset Uchiha had swore never to confide in him again.

Suigetsu was therefore too shocked to learn that Sasuke knew freaking Rasengan to realize that he’d been shamelessly used.

« Yeah… - Sasuke cleared his throat, still uncomfortable in his company. You’re not with the others?

- Well, I’ll join them - the azure eyes looked at his friends and he laughed heartily when he saw them form a scramble - but first, I’m enjoying the happy-hour: half a pint for barely three dollars, can you believe it? »

Naruto finally seemed to notice the presence of Suigetsu who had been staring at him for a good thirty seconds.

« You two should hurry and order now! There’s only two minutes left - Naruto took a long sip before continuing - I’ll finish mine quickly to take another one in time!

- Oh cool, replied Sasuke distractedly as he couldn’t take his eyes off the beer-soaked lips of his interlocutor. »

The dark-haired man tried his best to ignore his friend’s mocking look when he obeyed the blond’s recommendations and ordered a pint for himself. Suigetsu knew how much the brunette hated beer, he was more the type to order only expensive cocktails.

Well - now he really had to get rid of him too.

Sasuke’s prayers were answered when a vaguely familiar face appeared, almost providentially.

« Suig, he raised his head to follow his friend’s gaze. Isn’t it Karin ?

- Oh, Suigetsu leapt up to his feet. I’ll be right back. »

'Liar,’ thought Sasuke, noticing that his fencing companion had taken the time do disappear with his own mug.

Well, at least Suigetsu had been taking cared of.

« His girlfriend?, asked a surprised Naruto as he looked at the pair in the distance, talking with animation.

- Or his ex, I don’t know. It’s hard to follow.

- Pfff! - the blonde snorted and took another sip - Girls…

- Yeah… »

Sasuke felt like slapping himself. Girls, yeah - as if he knew that sort of things.

Fortunately, Naruto didn’t seem to notice his discomfort and he started to list with great passion the reasons why he preferred beer to any other alcohol.

« And what’s more… Well - without beer… There wouldn’t be beer-pong!, he concluded proudly. »

If the brunette had been listening to his interlocutor’s account with an almost religious attention until then - for fuck’s sake, he was having a drink with Rasengan! - the latter point made him raise an eyebrow.

It was completely stupid.

All you had to do was replace the beer with vodka in the cups.

For a long had he been drinking?

Well - Sasuke chose not to share that last thought with the blond guy. To be fair, he wouldn’t have had the time anyway: Kiba Inuzuka had just arrived at their level and slapped Naruto in the back.

« What are you waiting for ?, the student was out of breath: his cheeks were red and he oozed of transpiration. »

Sasuke wrinkled his nose but once again wisely refrained himself from making a comment.

« I’m coming! Let me finish my drink and… -

- Nah, too late - his friend cut him off. I’m tired, let me rest for a bit… »

The gifted dancer was about to slump on the seat left vacant by Suigetsu when Naruto put his arm forward to block his way.

He looked at his friend up and down :

« Sorry, Kiba, it’s hotties only. »

…

Needless to say, Sasuke was over the moon.

Unfortunately, it was just a joke and Kiba ended up joining them.

**

The next morning, Sasuke woke up with an awful headache. It wasn’t caused by any alcohol abuse (Kiba and Naruto had fought to finish his beer), but by the performance of Radioactive Worms.

Holy crap - Shino.

The latter had ended up shirtless on stage while Naruto had dragged him into what turned out to be their first pogo-dance to the both of them.

The young man stretched out his hand on his bedside table to retrieve his cell phone. It was blinking: a facebook notification.

Menma Namikaze would like to add you to his list of friends.

Rightfully, Sasuke was about to decline the invitation when his pulse quickened: that damn smile - he was just getting to know it too well.

Click.

Sasuke Uchiha now had the honor of counting Rasengan among his Facebook contacts. And in order to celebrate it, he logically began to analyze every single piece of information available.

Menma Namikaze (what the hell was that fake name) had nearly eight hundred friends, was from Uzushio and had entered Konoha as his 'current city’ two weeks earlier. He was born on October 10th and his profile was full of selfies and embarrassing stuff.

But it was his profile picture, in particular, that caught Sasuke’s attention: sunglasses, a straw hat, longer hair, a luscious tan and a cocktail glass in his hand : Kiba’s comment summed it up nicely - ’god, you’re such a poser’ - although the ocean in the background was absolutely breathtaking, the only thing that Sasuke could focus on was the stunning smile on his new contact’s face.

As well as the fact that he was shirtless.

’why’s your name menma now’ - Sasuke was scrolling through the various messages under the publication (almost all of them were trying to make fun of the blond’s selfie) when he stopped on this one.

Excellent question.

Fortunately, Kiba had the perfect answer:

’mister naruto is afraid his fans could find his account’

’yeah, he’s got a big head now that’s what the hat’s for!’

…

Ah.

**

Ting.

That new notification wasn’t from Naruto, but from Rasengan. He had just uploaded a new video and Sasuke, like the dutiful fan he was, closed his spreadsheet to put Youtube in full screen.

« Heyyyy everyone! »

It was much less personal than 'Sasuke’.

« I made that promise long ago, so let’s get back to this cult game! Let’s see if Kyuubi will come first in the agility race this time. »

What the.

Nintendogs.

A video about Nintendogs.

A forty-minute video about Nintendogs.

As strange as it may seem, it was precisely for this kind of thing that Sasuke had started following the video maker. It was impossible to predict what he had in mind and what he was about to do or say. Deep down, as long as Rasengan kept making him laugh, telling crappy jokes and yelling stupidly whenever something took him by surprise, Sasuke didn’t care about what was the video. Rasengan wasn’t necessarily there to please his fans, he was there to have fun.

The first time he had came across his channel, about five years ago, it was by pure chance: Sasuke wanted to buy an indie game that nobody had taken the time to test so he had clicked on the first horrendous orange thumbnail he had seen. At that time, Rasengan wasn’t doing any face-cam and Sasuke would have closed the page if the idiot making the video hadn’t started screaming from the first second. The sound was really saturated, he must have lost some of his hearing that day, but at least the video was in his language.

So he had stayed. And without realizing it - he had started commenting out loud on what the video maker was doing. Criticizing him for not paying enough attention to the the npc, advising him to save before getting into new fights.

Yelling at him to be more careful and to stop rushing into the heap like an fucking moron.

A few days later, he had returned to the then-two thousand subscribers’ page with to see if he had made progress in the story.

The following days, too. But not for the same game.

Still - it had taken him almost two years of weekly visits to subscribe.

Months after, Rasengan had finally agreed to show his face to the camera to celebrate his 10,000 subscribers - and all the comments in that video were still to that day about how cute he looked.

And that was when Sasuke had mysteriously became a very regular viewer.

In the end, the forty minutes of the video went by way too quickly.

[trueishcolours]

My siblings and I accidentally write a Ron/Victor Krum 4th year fix it fic in the group chat

Isabel: guyS

Rewatching goblet of fire

And I have to say

How amazing would it have if

It was a LOT less gendered

And also

If Ron and Krum had got together instead of Krum and Hermione

Thomas: Oh yeah there's so much Gender  

Isabel Ron already basically has a crush on Krum

Would have been great  

Thomas: idk, he's more jealous of him in my opinion  

Isabel: Nah

He has the action figure

He says he's an artist

It's definitely there

Thomas: Tru 

Clare: I mean on a superficial level I liked the Hermione/Krum part because it made me relate that a girl who is usually uninterested in 'feminine' things might still have some anxieties and take some interest now and again, and 'this super hot guy will like You, the Nerd' is standard wish fulfilment, but honestly I could take it or leave it. A grumpy feminist could equally well read it as 'EVEN smort girls like Hermione want to be feminine REALLY uwu'

And that would be a boring analysis but the whole feminine versus not argument is boring and not what we're here for

Anyway

The Krum drama kicks off the Romione subplot and honestly I hate Romione as a ship, to me it feels forced from beginning to end

But Ron/Krum would tie in really nicely to the whole character arc for Ron that JKR started in the first book and then forgot about where he evolves into an amazing intelligent badass without noticing it

Picture: He is dooting along, vaguely bummed because he's nothing special compared to his older bros, then in book four he realises wait he DOES stand out from others because he's gay/bi/whatever but he's not sure he WANTS that because standing out for being a minority is a fucking hassle but by the seventh book he is war hero, chess master and gay icon and vaguely confused about it

Hell, you could even have Hermione go to the ball with Krum, get her girly character development in and have Ron freak out and both of them /assume/ it's about her when it's not

It would just

Be better Thomas: Queer theory saves the day once again

Clare: :D  

Isabel: JUST BASICALLY RON, ALL THE TIME, WITH A BETTER CHARACTER ARC

Thomas: I love this  

Isabel: Honestly decades later I am still just so salty about Ron's lack of development, hell, anti development. I just want everything for him

Clare: Like, not to make it automatically angsty just because it's gay but Ron being Not Straight ties in so well with his typical theme of qualities that he think make him less than Textbook Perfect actually being his great strengths (I read a great analysis that Ron actually achieves all his brothers' goals without trying or noticing)

Ron just utterly stalls as a character in the books

And Harry is a shitty friend to him by the end

She kind of pulled it back with his deathly hallows arc but it was bungled and could have come across as just bashing him

Isabel: HE IS. Ron is so taken for granted.

Clare: God, Ron is SO much less of a dick if his yelling at Hermione in book four is coming out of Sudden Repressed Realisation, not just 'woman I like is doing something I don't like'

Isabel: I watched film 4 last night and just everyone??? Is so horrible to each other??? All the time??? I swear in the books it's so much better handled

Other reasons why bi/gay Ron headcanon is important: - most masculine of the trio/ has a million big brothers so dealing with toxic masculinity/ bucking queer stereotypes in there too - an extra 'fuck you' to the whole pure blood thing which I reckon is really homophobic as it means your bloodline won't get continued or some shit - Krum coaching Ron on Keeping in bad English. Tell me it's not cute. - Ron's a linguist (he learnt parselmouth on like 2 listens)!! Tell me he wouldn't learn Bulgarian?! - just, chaotic bilingual Quidditch talk, all the time, forever?!

Clare: UM your pidgin Quiddich is now my new fave headcanon forever????? You're SO RIGHT Ron is smart, he's just not academic. He would DEFINITELY pick up a language fast if he was using it to talk to his boyfriend/about quiddich

Isabel: EXACTLY

Clare: Plus all the stuff you said about toxic masculinity and purebloodism.

MAKE THE SUBTEXT TEXTUAL, YOU COWARDS

Isabel: #giveRonaBoyfriend2k18

Also not around for the lowkey weirdness of Ron and Harry dating CANONICALLY IDENTICAL AND BORING non white girls to the Yule Ball

I know that you can overdo all this stuff but seriously the fuck

Clare: It is a bit odd and icky   

Isabel: Ok so this is what happens

Krum asks Hermione to the Yule Ball and it's like she gets her cute moment with him

But then instead of spending the whole evening being a whiny bish Ron shows un-JKR-characterisation-characteristic maturity and puts a brave face on it and talks to them both

He's upset but doesn't full on ruin their evenings

And then Hermione after the ball, (gradually realising with slight horror that she and Krum actually have literally nothing in common) kind of keeps... asking... Ron to hang out with them

And at first Ron's like lol no way am I third wheeling

But then the temptation to hang out with his literal idol becomes too strong

And he and Krum start hanging out independently of Hermione

(who's probably in the lib helping Harry study for the second task at this point anyway)

The weather is still too cold for Quidditch

Ron thinks

But somehow Ron ends up playing anyway

IN THE SNOW

WITH VICTOR

HE'S GETTING COACHED BY AN ACTUAL WORLD CUP FINAL SNITCH CATCHING PLAYER AND HE IS NOT CHILL

Clare: Hoooooly fuck this is perfect

(except he actually is because it's like -10 and snowing what the fuck Krum) Ron putting his big boy panties on and dealing during the ball, leading to him actually having an in with Krum via Hermione

I love the dynamic of Hermione just...awkwardly asking her friends to hang with them...just to break the silence...

Isabel: YEAH EXACTLY

And then them all actually having a nice evening

Clare: I mean the point of Krum with her was to get that 'YASSSS I'm dating a hot guy!' moment WHILE ALSO showing how easily it fizzles, so nothing needs to change there

Hermione could even do her 'ugh, quiddich and BOYS' routine

Isabel: Awkward because of course it is awkward what is a teenage party without angst but also, fun

yeah exactly! the slow dawning that fuuuuck, I've just brought another stupid quidditch boi into my life oh god why

Clare: Ron still knows more about the history of the game and all the technical terms than Harry so has more to talk to Krum about

Isabel: And then you know Ron and Krum stumble back into the castle with Ron wearing Krum's hat à la Chad and Ryan, and Skeeter doesn't bat an eyelid because it doesn't fit her trashy narrative

Clare: RIGHT I've got to sleep I'm getting a cold but I love this

Isabel: ok go sleep

OK ONE MORE POINT

we almost certainly get the insanely awkward 'think you're in luurve Ron' or 'lol if you love Krum so much you should date him not Hermione'! moment from either Fred or George or maybe Ginny

And there's just a kind of... missing step moment

Clare: I think all of them would do that

I mean they're pretty mean to Ron anyway, especially about love

Isabel: Exactly they're all horrible but MAYBE this would teach them!!

Clare: Exactly! It would rip the rug out from under them and they'd be like wait shit

Isabel: We are actually mean to Ron... a lot

Clare: Especially because in this timeline Ron still gets the hassle from his sibs but unlike in the main timeline where he is just butt monkey forever he has the trump card that he's got a boyfriend who's a world famous quiddich player

Like, if you're Fred, George, Ginny or even Molly you can't really come back from that reveal. Ron wins.

Isabel: Krum actually being a laser focussed guy who gives people he cares about 300% of his attention

And middle child syndrome attention starved Ron just soaks it up like a blooming Icelandic kid under a sunlamp

Ron win evertiem

Clare: Yeahhhhhh. Being a prodigy who's trained from such a young age he's got to nail that work life balance and it's like 90% work 10% life but that life is INTENSE, he's seen too many people lose their relationships because they won't switch off their metaphorical phones during dates, he gets one (1) month a year and about three (3) important people and when it is Person Time it is PERSON TIME

Right bed for eal I'm dying

Isabel: BED FOR EEL

UGH ALL I WANT IN MY LIFE IS THE 50K+ SLOW BURN QUEER 4TH YEAR REWRITE

BUT I LEGIT DON'T HAVE TIME TO WRITE IT AND I DON'T TRUST MYSELF TO GET RON POV RIGHT ANYWAY

Clare: Bebs I wish you could write it

The raw chemistry my goodness

I ship it now

Is there going to be 'you are treating me like an idol not a real person please stop' angst at any point?

Isabel: OF COURSE THERE IS

Clare: Also Krum is like 'I knew I could trust you because you are bffs with Harry Potter and you treat him like he's totally normal you must be so mature and cool he is so so lucky to have a friend like you

Or well, Krum insecurity that people only like him because of his celeb status anyway

Which is probably why he went for Hermione in the first place because she didn't give a shit

'WOULD WE EVEN BE TOGETHER IN THE FIRST PLACE IF IT WASN'T FOR QUODDICH?'

'... I love you.'

'Bro I wouldn't care if you were the worst player in the world as long as we both are fans of the sport together.'

'Bro.'

Isabel: BRUH

Also can I just ask...?

What happens in the second task??!!?

It's already messed up enough under that lake, love triangles all over the place

This would just be the final straw that resulted in everyone just shrugging and teaming up

Clare: Holy shit

Krum just doots along, takes Ron and goes

Harry's like...wait what...OK...um I guess Hermione and Ron are equally important to me so I'll just take her kk

Isabel: Krum and Ron appearing on the surface of the lake like 'fuck'

The most dramatic declaration of intent ever

Turning yourself into a shark and rescuing them from the bottom of a lake

Clare: Everybody in the stands is SHOOK

Dumbledore like dang I did not predict this

With their hair soaking wet they are both at maximum hot

Isabel: Rita Skeeter's quill combusts

Clare: Krum doesn't point her out as a beetle in Hermione’s hair he's too busy with Ron

Isabel: Yeah she's like where is my gossip at??? Nothing is happening over in Hermione's hair

But yeah I feel like Dumbledore would be like, oh darn, looks like I'm gonna have to show queer solidarity with Ronald Weasely or something

KRUM AT THE BURROW VERY SERIOUSLY COMPLIMENTING MOLLY ON HER FOOD AND ASKING FOR BRITISH RECIPES AND WINNING HER OVER IN A TRICE

Clare: Would Krum charm Molly straight away though? He's very surly and shy and, in the books, not very handsome. Wouldn't Molly start out yikes who is this quiddich yob my son has taken up with?

Ginny on the other hand. Comes out as bi a couple of years later, tells Ron she only started to realise thanks to his example, apologises for being a dick about his love life

Isabel: Yeah I guess actually

I think Molly can get fierce

Clare: She's probably got a bit of pure blood/homophobic anxiety that she cloaks as objections about THIS PARTICULAR boy

Isabel: Either she loves you and adopts you right away or she is like /pulling shotgun down from the shelf/

EXACTLY

She's like

Blaming herself, oh I should have paid more attention and NOW look what's happened

Poor Ronald, always neglected

And Ron's like... mum... this is great

I am happy

Is not problem

Clare: Ron is like I AM NOT DOING THIS FOR ATTENTION JESUS CHRIST

I mean he's probably enjoying having the attention of a quiddich super star and I bet he'd even enjoy the celebrity status of The Boyfriend a bit (best friends get sidelined but romantic partners are news) but he's not doing it FOR attention

Isabel: Yeah, and I think the suggestion that he is would just make him so mad

First confused and then mad

Oh the ANGST

Clare: Especially since that's Krums biggest anxiety

Isabel: Mr Weasely would be chill. I feel like in this whole equation he is the chillest

Clare: What would Percy say? Would social climbing or doing the done thing win out?

Also the attention thing is a way for parents to make their child's relationship all about them. Oh you want me to LOVE you more! No mum I'm growing away from you this is normal

I think Ron would get jealous around Bill and Charlie because they'd swing in all oh our brother is rebellious and has a cool boyfriend? Well we are cool rebels also welcome to the family Victor

Isabel: Yeah... I think Percy is probably pretending to be chill with it and being a bit smarmy to Krum then says something awkward and homophobic and it's worse than if he'd just said it straight up

Clare: I think a lot of Liberal but still pure blood families would take the line of, 'it's fine that you're gay...because you're the sixth son so your blood line isn't in danger and making a socially advantageous match is probably more important for you anyway! And Ron is like Y I K E S

Isabel: Yeah exactly, well I suppose you have enough sons Molly amirite

What do we think about the Krum family?

Are they just happy that their son is forming human relationships

Clare: Hmm. How do they feel about celebrity? Do they think Ron is Not Good Enough or are they actually quite a normal family and are glad Krum has an ordinary guy to keep him grounded?

Isabel: I kind of don't want Ron to have to deal with random Bulgarian disapproval

I think maybe a quite normal family who had a kid who was a genius and has been at boarding school/ travelling for years and years

Maybe Krum already came out to them so that drama is in the past

Clare: Yeah and when he brings Ron home for dinner they're just delighted that Krum is home at all and that he's happy

Yeah maybe he did

He's probably had a lot of time to introspect because of his image and maybe he's an only child?

Isabel: And Ron speaks accented but ok Bulgarian by this point and they're like !!!

Clare: I think one aspect of the large family thing that WOULD affect Ron is its just that much harder to have a private word with your parents so confiding about yourself, especially when you're not 100% sure, just isn't part of the family culture

And there's no time for introspection when you're jockeying for position with six siblings

So Krum is out to his parents while Ron isn't even out to himself

Plus Krums just that bit older

Isabel: No, when you ask for a word it's all 'yes Ron' a bit exasperated

Clare: Krum’s family are just delighted that Ron speaks Bulgarian and is a normal guy who likes their son for himself

Isabel: Maybe they have some kind of cool engineery job and Ron goes out the back and is like well my dad likes cars I will try and help

Uses his mathsy chessy knowledge

Clare: Re. Homophobia I think it is important that it's not all YOU'RE GOING TO HELL like the Muggle brand but instead is very focused on producing pure blood children. Also with the smallness of the pure blood community I bet there's a lot of, not official arranged marriage, but kind of assumed marriage, like in Pride and Prejudice or what may have happened with Prince William and Kate, like, there's three girls your age who your family's on speaking terms with who aren't your first cousins and it'll massively throw off everybody's plans if you don't marry one of them

Yes Ron helping with engineering

Isabel: Headcanon of the Krums as magical engineers with a side passion for quidditch

Clare: I bet he picks up arithmancy that way. Can't learn it in the classroom, can learn it in the garage. And he comes home from the holiday able to actually help his dad with the car and thenceforth Mr Weasley is on board

Isabel: Yeah exactly... they're a bit 'sigh ok this means you're not gonna marry bertha from the bakery but hell at least it's not a veela'

Clare: Also wizarding society is inherently conservative, they haven't even updated their writing system, so anybody doing anything different is looked askance at unless they can play themselves as a genius eccentric like Dumbledore

Isabel: So yeah then Ron turns out to be WHOLESOME af and Krum’s family are like... ok fine. this is fine. In fact yay!

Ok I have to go do some work but this has been almost as good as having the fic itself

Clare: Maybe I'll put a summary on my tumblr and see if anybody wants to adopt it

[lubdubsworld]

Yours, Truly.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 

“Well, that’s that I guess.” I watched the men from the creditor’s office load the last of the crate into the huge moving van, while the man himself gave me a sympathetic smile, signing off on the cheque. 

“We tried to make this as easy for you as possible, Miss. Yoongi ssi told us about your situation and while there’s nothing we can do about it, in terms of the apartment, we do intend to reimburse you the difference from the valuable items you just sold off, once the debt is paid.” 

I waved him off. 

“you can put it in my bank account, though we both know it’s not going to be much.” 

My phone rang again and I frowned at the name on the contact list. Lee Shin. 

Shin was Wonho’s immediate boss, and a sleaze by every standard. I hadn’t enjoyed any of our previous interactions, partly because he made it abundantly clear that he was interested , and partly because he was just extra touchy in general. Wonho had never taken my complaints seriously, asking me to take it as a compliment instead of raising flags over it, always claiming that he couldn’t risk his position in the company.

which was ridiculous when i thought about what he’d gone ahead and done. I pushed the thought behind. The past week had been a very torturous kind of hell. I hadn’t been able to get in touch with Wonho or his lawyer and a part of me just wanted to storm in and shake some sense into him. But a part of me had always known that this would happen, or so it felt.

Wonho had always been easily influenced. Even during our marriage he seldom argued with me, always going along with whatever i suggested. At the time , I had chalked it up to him being crazy in love with me. Apparently , it was nothing more than a lack of backbone.

 Wonho was a coward and he had ruined my life. 

The phone kept ringing, drawing me back to the present. 

Groaning a little, I picked up the phone. 

“Y/N? Is that you?” 

“Yes, Mr. Lee.” I said, keeping my voice even. Somewhere behind me , i could hear Yoongi rattling around in the back of his car, which now had three suitcases worth of my clothes and a small box of stuff from my childhood. I’d tossed the rest of my stuff away, not in any urgency to remember all the ways I’d failed at my marriage. Seven years down the drain. 

The more i thought about it, the more I wanted to claw my ex-husband’s face off. 

“..... So , what I was saying is that , you’re welcome to move in with my wife and I, until you get back on your feet. What do you say to that, love?”

I grimaced , Yoongi catching the tail end of my expression and raising an eyebrow at me. i waved off his concern and turned around to refuse when a sleek white Porsche rolled over to the parking space of my apartment building, A familiar company Logo etched on the hood. i stared in surprise as the driver skillfully parked the car before sliding out from behind the wheel. 

I blinked in disbelief as Kim Taehyung straightened, slipping his sunglasses off his face and tucking them in his pocket before looking around. He smiled wide when his eyes met mine, waving cheerfully as he locked his car and began making his way over to me. 

“...... Love? You there?” The man’s voice in my ear shook me out of my shock and I hummed in confusion before shaking my head.

“Uh.. No sir. That wouldn’t be necessary at all... I do have a place to stay , but thank you for offering.” I said , just as Taehyung stepped up to me, his beautifully crafted brows rising to his hairline as he tilted his head curiously at my words. 

I smiled helplessly.

“No, no. i absolutely refuse to take no for an answer, my love. i know Wonho did you dirty but you should know, not all men are like that and I , for one, think that a girl like you.....” 

“who’s the guy?” Taehyung said loudly, startling me as he leaned in , pretending to listen in and i drew back. 

“It’s nothing... I... Mr. Lee. Like I said, i don’t need a place to stay for the night....and...”

“Wait, Lee Shin? Wonho’s boss?” Taehyung’s jaw hardened. 

i nodded and the next second, the phone got snatched out of my ears, Tae pressing the speaker button as he frowned.

“Come on, sweetheart. That bastard didn’t know how to appreciate a good thing when he had it. I’m not like that. i could take real good care of you, you know... In return for a little bit of your company. If you’re good to me, i could be persuaded to be very generous.....” The man’s voice filled the air and i felt my entire body flush in disbelief and offence. 

“What the fuck did you just say, you nasty son of a bitch?!!” Yoongi’s voice came loud and angry next to me and I flinched when my best friend reached for the phone but Taehyung shook his head.

“Mr. Lee. This is kim Taehyung, your CEO. I’ve recorded your phonecall to Y/N and trust me, this is going to play key evidence in the hearing you have scheduled tomorrow for harassing your secretary. I don’t like predicting outcomes , not without all the facts but something tells me that you’re going to lose your job and/or go to prison . So maybe you could tell Wonho about your opinions , in person?” 

I heard Mr. Lee splutter over the line before Taehyung hung up, swiftly blocking the man’s number too , before smiling and handing over the phone. 

“You’re like a loser magnet, aren’t you?” He said brightly and I grimaced. 

“Is that why you’re here?” i shot back and he chuckled deeply, his voice low and warm. Taehyung’s voice was one of the best things about him. It reminded me of hunting cabins, tucked into the woods, with a warm blazing fireplace and soft rugs under my bare foot. 

“Fair enough. I just wanted to check in on you. It’s been a week since we talked and i thought you may have changed your mind.” He said softly.

I shook my head swiftly.

“i really don’t think ... i don’t need .....Well, I’m fine. For now.” I waved my hands a little wildly and he hummed.

“Are you sure i couldn’t convince you? i’m kind of in a real fix right now. “ He sighed deeply. “ I really need someone to help me out. My sister is going in for surgery on Thursday and i’ll be having both the twins and the new baby with me for the next three weeks. Yeon Hee is ...well she’s not really a kid-friendly person and i have a bunch of meetings too. I have no experience with babysitters and i was really hoping that you could stay over at my place. it would be a huge help.” 

He turned huge brown eyes at me, limpid and soft .

I groaned.

“This is unfair., You’re taking advantage of the fact that I love your sister and i love babies. You’re playing dirty! ” I protested and he grinned wider, boxy smile setting my heart on fire as he waggled his brows.

“Shamelessly.” He agreed. 

Yoongi finished locking up the bootspace of his car and slowly sauntered over. 

“As long as you pay her , she’s available.” He said teasingly and I shoved him a little. 

Taehyung chuckled but his eyes were still vaguely desperate.

“Please, angel. I know you aren’t comfortable with it but i really wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t desperate. Jooheon is too young to be with some un-vetted sitter and there is no one in the world i trust more than you.”

I stared at him for a second, shaking my head gently.

“You always know the right things to say, don’t you?” I sighed. “ Fine, but how long are we talking about? I can’t agree to something indefinite...” I said firmly. 

“Why don’t we talk about it over coffee?” Taehyung prompted. 

Before i could respond, Yoongi snorted.

“And, that’s my cue to leave. Sweetheart, you’ll be coming over right? I’ll get the guest bedroom set up okay?” He kissed me lightly on the cheek and i nodded. 

Taehyung gave him a half hug and we both watched as he pulled away from the curb and drove off.

“So.... coffee shop in the corner or Starbucks? “ I said softly and he hesitated.

“I have an espresso machine in my condo.” He said softly and I hesitated.

“Tae...”

“It’s all good, angel. No funny business , i promise. It’s just ...the paparazzi’s been after me ever since I revealed my relationship and I’d rather not have you bear the brunt of it.... you know...if we get spotted together....” he shrugged his shoulders lightly, the movement causing his shirt to stretch out across his broad frame . 

I couldn’t think of anything to say to that and i nodded absently. 

“Excellent... Come on... Let’s go...” He stepped down the few stairs jumping over a small puddle of water at the base of the stair , on the pavement. But,  before I could follow, he turned around, grabbing my waist with both hands and lifting me off the stair. I fell forward into  him, his chest pressed right up against mine , impossibly warm and hard underneath me. I gasped in surprise, gripping his shoulders in shock .

His eyes were as wide as mine, as if he had just realized what he’d done.

“Taehyung, what on earth-?” I said sharply and he recoiled like he’d been burned, his long fingers leaving my body quickly.

“shit,.. i’m sorry.. it’s just...there was water and i didn’t want your shoes to get wet..... I’m sorry, angel that was out of line . I apologize.” He held both his hands up and i couldn’t breathe , let alone respond. I managed a weak nod and stuttered, “ It’s alright...” before wrapping both arms around myself almost protectively. I suddenly felt vulnerable and exposed, raw and gullible. 

I couldn’t even meet his eyes because my heart was pounding so hard inside my chest. i kept a decent distance between us as he walked to his car but I couldn’t stop the way my  insides twisted with sudden , hot and intense attraction. After all these years, i still wanted Taehyung with an ache that was fierce and impossible to ignore. 

He came here to find a babysitter , not a girlfriend . He already has one of those. A 5′10 supermodel who happens to have the face of a literal goddess........You’re so out of his league here , it’s not even funny, Y/N.

I let him open the door for me, slipping into the heated leather seats. I froze up again for a second, when he put my seat belt on for me.

“Hey...uh... You okay?” He said softly. I managed a weak smile. 

“I’m fine, Tae. It’s fine. Really craving that coffee now.” i laughed nervously watching him come around and climb into the seat net to me. He started the car quickly and flashed me another smile.

“You’ll love my sister’s kids. They’re dying to have a cool aunt.” He winked. Something curled inside me.

“Well, they have a supermodel for an aunt. Can’t get cooler than that....” I said shrilly. His smile faltered for a second but he schooled his features quickly. 

“I’ve told them all about how you used to sculpt... They love art.” 

“I’ll be glad to paint with them.” I said honestly, giving him a little smile and his eyes were so full of warmth , I had to look away. i also realized, what I’d just said.

Taehyung picked up on it quickly.

“So this means you’re going to do it then? Move in with me ?” 

He grinned before reaching out and throwing an arm on the back of my seat, before turning around to look as he backed out of the spot. i tried not to stare at the way his large hands looked gripping the steering wheel. Tried not to think about how they’d felt gripping my waist. 

“Well, uh... i’m not sure that’s how you should be phrasing that to your girlfriend.” I said weakly and he frowned.

“You’re more worried about her than you should be. Me and Yeon hee...we’re.... it’s nothing serious. We’re friends more than lovers and its a really casual thing.” 

I tried not to fidget.

“I’m sure that has nothing to do with me.” i said quickly.

“Y/N...”

“Tae, I’m serious. I just... I just divorced my husband of seven years. I’m not up for these games....”

“These aren’t games, angel...”

“You know what i mean, Tae. I’m still emotionally in a lot of pain...and I know you always hated Wonho ....”

“Damn right I hated him, he took the one thing i wanted in the whole damn world.” Taehyung snapped.

I shut my eyes. 

“Taehyung...”

He groaned .

“I’m sorry. You’re right.. it’s just... it’s hard for me to see you ... being upset because of that bastard after everything he did....” He said softly. “He shouldn’t have ever come near you if he wasn’t going to love you right....” 

I stared at him. It had been over a decade but he still reminded me of the boy I’d left behind. I could read Taehyung like a book.....

And i thought about Wonho , about how different he had turned out to be, about how easily i’d been fooled. I’d thought I’d known him well, too and look how that turned out.... 

I didn’t know Taehyung, no matter how achingly familiar he felt. 

“ Can we not talk about this...?” I said softly.

He hesitated before nodding.

I sighed and sank back into the seats. It was going to be a long night. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : This is short but I hope you guys liked it,.

[gaarfielf]

k im gonna throw in my hot take on part 5 now i think the time has come where i’ve watched enough of the damn series i can make a coherent essay on whats what on what (putting it under a read more bc this shit is gonna be long and i dont want my followers to suffer too much)

I’ll do this character by character starting with the new ones

Ami: I’m having a hard time deciphering whether she’s being underutilized or over utilized because number 1) her character isn’t interesting enough to have her keep coming around, especially when her only connection to the group is Lupin. She hasn’t had any interaction with Goemon or Jigen that i know of and she hates Fujiko for ??? reasons. That being said, I would’ve preferred if she was fleshed out more because 2) literally having her be the distant girl that is quiet and doesn’t understand social norms is..... really boring. It’s almost as boring as having a female character whose only there as a set of boobs... (coughs). She isn’t interesting because they didn’t make her interesting, yeah? It’s hard to hate a character based on the fact alone they were clearly written by a man but I mean it very literally when I say she could’ve been something great. Having her confess her love to Lupin was straight up disgusting and I really expected more from tms in that vein. Putting romance where romance doesn’t need to be is bad enough let alone when you jack knife it in between a child and an adult. And for those of you saying ‘Oh hhhh she’s like nineteen’....look into your heart. Even if she is 1) she sure as hell doesn’t look it and 2) Lupin is like 40-50. In the wise words of me, children loving adults was a myth made up by pedophiles in support of the devil. Npot to mention pitting her against Fujiko because they both like Lupin?? I ain’t even gotta explain why that’s a pathetic excuse at writing. But I will. Fujiko is a grown ass woman so why the fuck would she care and Ami is a child who shouldn’t be in love with him anyway. She has truly been nothing in the series except a tool and even at that not a likable one.

Yata: Do I even have to say that I can’t write anything about a man who hasn’t had more than 4 minutes of screen time in the last 24 episodes? He was hyped up before the series started and he’s done nothing but be Zenigata’s personality in the place of Zenigata y’know. Actually speaking and having one for himself BUT WE’LL GET TO THAT LATER. He’s done nothing but yell and cry over literally nothing? Like he fights Zeni’s fights because for some reason Zenigata got super lazy this season (again, we’ll get into that later) and he’s just a pointless character.

Albert: Gay rep for life haha just kidding he was bad at that too. I think they literally introduced him as faux-gay rep because they know the fans wanted more sensitive interactions from their already existing male cast members and they were like ‘well that’s gay so we’ll give them this guy’. And speaking on behalf of myself - ‘I don’t want these’. So Albert shows up, supposedly having a HUGE connection to Lupin’s past and then............we never see him again. And they literally tell us nothing about him except he’s gay and works in the government. Apparently when we say ‘we want gay rep’ they hear ‘very minor gay character??’ and didn’t hear us say ‘no’ back. And every time I hear anyone say 1) ‘well, his connection to Lupin is supposed to be a mystery!’ I can feel hives growing on my skin because i’m allergic to bullshit like if they weren’t gonna tell us the connection, and whatever the connection is didn’t reveal anything new about the character outside of ‘Lupin knew somebody that wasn’t Jigen when he was younger’ then why?? mention it?? why make an entire arc dedicated to not telling us something if the end result was ‘it doesn’t matter who he is’? 2) ‘well they’re obviously cousins’ except they obviously aren’t. if they obviously were, they’d say that they were cousins. like if y’all are digging up bits of the manga from 40 years ago to say ‘there was a character who had the same last name’ but are also out here saying ‘Jigen doesnt have a sister bc they said that over 40 yers ago and haven’t mentioned it since’ then I ain’t got nothing to say to y’all, you’re just dodgy and ain’t worth the stress of talking to. 3) ‘they’re maybe gay’ well the cool thing about gay rep is that we don’t give honourary mentions out for series that were too cowardly to actually come right out and say it. So in conclusion, Albert was written by cowards who couldn’t decide what to do with him.

Enzo: Boring. That’s literally all I have to say. Trying to give him depth by making Ami his daughter was predictable and not at all interesting. To be honest I completely forgot she was looking for her dad anyway because she didn’t seem to care that much about finding him either (or seem to care about anythign really). He’s a shitty villain and every time he speaks I got my finger on the right-key because I don’t care what he has to say and so far I haven’t missed anything good so yeah. Just disappointing.

I think that’s it??? For new characters?? So I’ll move onto the main cast

Jigen: I 👏 WANT 👏 JIGEN 👏 TO 👏 DO 👏 SOMETHING like good fucking God the man hasn’t done anything this whole series up until 24 where he got  5 minute scene dedicated to him killin’ cops (direct action) but like?? As a character he hasn’t progressed he has BARELY spoken and we’ve learned one new thing about him the whole series in the episode where he meets the daughter of a woman he used to work with. And that one thing that we learned was: he used to work with the mother of this girl. That’s it. Episode 24 he got a little bit of dialog with Lupin that I guess was supposed to be like character development but it was so weird because it was kind of directed at the audience?? So it’s like is he talking to me or to Jigen because if I was Jigen I would not have one goddamn clue what he was talking about. Also, he’s so depressing this season?? Right up until now we’ve seen very little personality from him aside from Angry and Complains a Lot. He smiles sometimes sure but like he doesn’t exactly have a lot to smile about this season considering he’s not really in the limelight anymore and is only brought back to foreshadow how much he hates technology and wants to retire. Personally, Jigen is one of my favourite characters and the fact he hasn’t achieved much this series is a big let-down

Goemon: I can’t even imagine how let down Goemon fans feel because again, up until Episode 23 he did nothing. He had an episode where he fell in love?? With a girl?? Disguised as a woman?? For some reason?? It was in one of the throwbacks and I’ll admit that maybe the episode made sense and I probably missed something but to me I had no clue what was going on. ANYWAY like his big scene in the spotlight is 3 episodes before the end of the series (its not like he’s a main character or anything) and he cuts Lupin. Because he thinks that he isn’t really his friend. That’s it that’s the only reason he almost murders his friend. Just kidding the other reason was that it was a half ass attempt at shock value to make sure the audience was still paying attention. They can’t seem to decide this season whether they want Goemon to be edgy or stupid but I think we’ve gotten a greta big helping of both so thanks tms /sarcasm/. They’ve really just dragged his character through the mud this season because he used to be stoic, mysterious, traditionalist but lowkey clumsy guy and then now he’s. I don’t even know how to describe it he’s just become so cutesy and edgy at the same time so we get him cutting Lupin in half right in front of UwU i eat my fish skin first ! I’m quirky ! like what am I supposed to feel about this grown man? He’s really too back-and-forth for me this season

Fujiko: I’M GONNA GET HEATED ABOUT THIS ONE SO BUCKLE UP I’ve never seen Fujiko written this poorly since TWCFM (yes i’m outting that as a bad series too so don’t @ me about that lil tidbit). She’s there as a piece of eyecandy bUT SHE IS SO POORLY DRAWN IT MAKES ME WONDER IF ANYBODY AT TMS HAS EVER SEEN A WOMAN IN THEIR LIFE TIME. Seriously her proportions are so off and outwardly repulsive looking it makes it hard not to skip anything she says in the series on account of how half-ass her character looks. Not limiting herself to being visually repulsive, she also has a half-ass personality. Suddenly Fujiko isn’t the come-and-go as she pleases, mysterious woman that gives Lupin intel on very high security operations she’s just. There. At some point in the series she said ‘a woman’s body is just a tool to get something she needs’ and I wanted to puke this is NOT Fujiko’s character at all and I’m disgusted that they’re brushing her off as a pair of walking talking boobs. Also her absolute lack of empathy is just mind numbing because they’re somehow trying to convince the audience that Lupin broke her heart due to wedding related reasons that still haunt her but? Seeing him cut almost in half does nothing for her? And then she deadpan ‘This is just how it is’ like this is just putting her in such an evil light that I hate because I love Fujiko! In every other season she’s fighty and sarcastic and witty AND NOT JUST THERE FOR EYE CANDY. And going back to the wedding thing, why is this being made into such a big deal? There’s literal episodes in other seasons called ‘Fujiko Doesn’t Look Right in a Wedding Dress’ ‘Fujiko Doesn’t Want to Be Married’ ‘A Ring Is Like a Trap’ like she 👏 don’t 👏 want 👏 to 👏 be 👏 married 👏. And the preview for the next ep shows her in a wedding dress so I’m ultimately preparing myself for the big season finale being them getting married.

hurray.

Final thought on Fujiko being, the episode where she picks up Lupin to save him from succumbing to his crossbow wound (easily the funniest thing thats happened all season) I mean. Yeah it’s kinda cool. I don’t really have any strong feelings about that like I’m not about to praise them for something like that when it was immediately followed by her and Ami slap fighting over him again.

Lupin: In my days of watching Lupin movies/specials my slogan was ‘if the ratio of screen time in the movie between characters is 10:0 in Lupin’s favour then it ain’t a good movie’ and it’s ringing true to this season where it’s all about Lupin. I understand obviously it’s a series called Lupin III like I’m not stupid but the amount of ass kissing to his character is something else like they’re putting him on this huge pedestal like he’s a do-no-wrong kind of guy to the point where he’s boring because he’s done nothing wrong. Ever. He doesn’t argue with anybody he doesn’t have any strong emotions really (outside of that episode where Zenigata loses his memory we see him outwardly angry for a minute). It just makes him such a dry character when they try to mold him into being absolutely flawless and admirable. Also the amount of faking his own death and ‘oh no is he gonna die’ moments are just not entertaining. Like I said earlier when he got shot with the crossbow that was the hardest I’ve laughed in a long long time. It played like an SNL skit (you know what one). And again we aren’t learning anything new. Whose Albert to him!? We never got to know, What’s his relationship to Fujiko!? We’re probably gonna find out they’re getting married last episode after all the touching moments they had together this season like.... like uh.... when they uh... oh right they’ve barely spoken to each other all season. And when they did they were arguing. Love is in the air huh?

Zenigata: AI’ll try to keep this brief but Yata’s taken over his character this season. He’s barely spoken, he has like, NO energy or determination. After the episode where Lupin faked his death (the first time, not the proceeding 90 times) Zenigata just stopped appearing and stopped doing anything productive. If anything his character became an excuse for an info dump. Like oh we see a war torn area whats going on? Zenigata is conveniently nearby to say ‘these people are at war!’ and then outside character will tell a 18 paragraph history on him of whose at war and their history and then Zenigata says ‘okay’ and doesn’t appear again for the next 2 episodes.

Now for the closing thoughts I guess

i don’t know why they’re looking at Lupin having plot as separate from Lupin being episodic. Like they’ve separated him from adventure so he’s just doing the same things over and over again. Not to mention like I said earlier, the fans wanted to see more sensitive interactions between the already existing characters, and if anything, they’re farther apart and just really confusing and contradictory. It’s hard to get through an episode when every week its another ‘great time for another plot arc they’re never gonna finish’. When I watched episodes of Part 1 and 2 and 4 (not so much 3 because i can’t find anywhere to watch it lol) I’m pretty attentive all the way through because the series drops tidbits of information about the characters and they make the episode enjoyable to watch. This season is so dreary and dry I can’t find anything to enjoy about it because it’s just one disappointment after another. I’m trying to to sound bitchy as I type all this out but I mean I’m speaking as a fan who is just really disappointed. I know I’ve said ‘disappointed’ a lot in this whole thing but there isn’t another word to describe it because that’s really the way that I feel about part 5. Seeing my favourite characters on screen is supposed to make me feel happy and excited to see where they’re gonna go and what they’re gonna do not make me think “I hope they don’t ruin this character for me’ in every. single. episode. This season has been underwhelming, unenjoyable, inconsistent and just really exhausting to me overall.

i gotta go eat now so peace out and if you read to the end of all this then hopefully i’m not the only one in this boat but if you don’t agree with me then i guess thats just how it is yeah?

EDIT: I forgot to mention that the callbacks were cool at first but now I just find they’re baiting me into thinking i’ll enjoy the episode because i’ll find something I liked from one of the better seasons in it. They’re just really overused at this point because these callbacks aren’t being used for anything. like ‘lupin is making his plan at the cagliostro castle!’ like. why. ‘detective melon is also angry at lupin!’ but if she isn’t like teaming up with zenigata or actually doing anything to find him why should i care. 

[honhonluigi]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE talk about your stories and stuff! You're an amazing writer and every time you post I drop what I'm doing to check the notif

Oh I would absolutely love to talk about my stories! I haven't been able to talk to a single person about my stories and creative efforts for two weeks now and it's been killing me. I would absolutely die if you gave me a chance to do that. I've been cut off for two weeks and I'm going through some major withdrawals

So please, by all means, let me talk about my stories. Which ones would you like to hear about first? Ask any questions about any of my stories or any plots or any characters. I'm practically begging.

I have as active stories:

UnEarthing Toroid which is the story with the characters you saw, which is kind of a sci-fi thing about aliens and other planets and interdimensional travel.

Ultimate Waifu Bait which is the story I'm making for Chieko right now.

I have a really sad, tragic western story based off the legend of Jesse James and inspired by the movie The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

I have one of those mystery-thriller type things about a serial killer

A fantasy story about a pantheon of gods based off of Norse mythology

A story about shapeshifting science experiments who escape and try to pose as normal humans but they also eat people

Some weird teen drama that I came up with for a class but got super attached to, about a football star whose popular girlfriend disappears and is suspected murdered and only he knows what happened to her

A story about a utopian society where no one ever dies and everything is perfect except because no one ever dies they have to hire people to legally kill off the population (book 1 in a series)

A story where the world is being torn apart by a deadly illness and to cover it up, the government erases all memories of anyone who dies from it (book 2)

An apocalypse story that I mostly just turned into wilderness-survival because I love the forest, but also about disease and mutant humans (book 3)

A story about the rebuild of society after apocalypse, in which a tiny backwards town goes through a lot of Witch-Hunt drama because of One Single Bastard (book 4)

A dystopian story about a society run by a powerful human-sacrifice cult and some very indoctrinated characters (book 5)

A story my sister asked me to write about a world so overpopulated that people have to live in computer programs

So please please please ask about any of these that you want to hear more about. I'd be more than happy to ramble about any of them. If you can't decide, UnEarthing Toroid is the one I'm currently working on. But I love them all.

Also if any of these stories sound typical (dystopia, apocalypse, western, thriller, teen drama, etc) I promise that they're not. I make a game of taking typical stories and putting a huge unique spin on them. I promise none of my stories are just another Hunger Games or Walking Dead or John Wayne. I wouldn't write them if they were typical, because some of the genres I hate most are apocalypse, dystopia, and western all because they're too predictable and cliché. I wouldn't like the story if it was as cliché as the other shit. I just can't say why they're not typical without spoiling the entire plot, but I will tell you why if you ask more about a certain story.

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 14 - WSH - Season’s First Rant

6-1 Washington Capitals over Buffalo Sabres

I’ve thought the Capitals are a soft team for about seven years now. The President’s Trophy years and even the year they won the Stanley Cup: they’ve been a beatable good team for a while. I know that’s some high alcohol content coming from a Sabres fan but they’re not a beast of a team, not since maybe before Eichel was drafted. Don’t get me wrong, they’re lethal with the likes of Backstrom, Kuzy, Oshie, Carlson and of course the greatest pure goal scorer of his generation Alexander Ovechkin. They have what this young Sabres squad are still very much learning: killer instinct. Having your moment and converting on them even when you got a lead. They also got a powerplay that just fires cannon after cannon after cannon. They’ve got all the makings of Champions and most of them do have at least one title to their name. But even the Caps on a hot streak aren’t unbeatable. I predicted the Sabres would stay with the Caps for a little bit before getting run out of town. I was half right. The Caps got the first goal and never really looked back. This one ended 6-1 for the home team. Grab your leftover Halloween candy because you’re going to need em! This one was the first honest to god roast. We got a little taste of the roast we know so well against the Rangers last week, this time we got full open flame! The most well-done parts of this roast? The defense: that cut is charred real good. But before we eat the main course how about we have some appetizers. This won’t be the fun bread and butter appetizer. No, it’s time for the salad! And no, you don’t get dressing! No, not cheese! I think we need to have a little talk as fans. This is a fan blog after all, and the team didn’t exactly give us a lot to talk about tonight.

Did they have a bad game? Yes they did. The first period the defense was absolutely rocked. For the playing connected Sabres it was the most distinct chasm between quality of play between the offense and the defense. Ask Conor Sheary, he almost drew first blood before the post denied him! That’s my segway: fellow Sabre fan let me ask you this. Do you feel denied? I started watching this team in 2009. For five years the nicest thing this team gave me was a cute little Winter Classic game. Would it have been nice for them to let Edmonton take Tomas Vanek and keep those draft picks, so they could’ve built a winner for when I was in High School and my dad and me were watching games all hunky dory? Yeah. Somedays when I’m really bored I feel denied a Lindy Ruff Stanley Cup. Bah, let’s talk about this team. Jack Eichel played his 300th game tonight. Wow isn’t that crazy. I’d say I feel old but I’m young enough that he could be my brother. He’s been a Sabre for all 300 of those games. 108 goals, 276 points and a big zero goose egg playoff games in four seasons. Does Jack Eichel feel denied the postseason competition that big olde ginger heart beats fast for? He did… in 2017. Then he became a leader and decided this club was the only way he was going to get that sweet sweet postseason play and got over it. He’s still on pace for a career year by the way. We’ve put up with a lot of garbage, many of us longer than Jack has, but let’s be real here: is this a club you don’t want to bother with on a Friday night? In 2017-2018 I was going to painting classes with my in-laws instead of watching Sabres games. That team was accidentally the worst in the league. This version? I cleared my afternoon for that Dallas game a couple weeks back and was richly rewarded! I think we’re afraid. I think we’re afraid of how to handle a team that is actually good. When we’re bitching about them losing to a good team saying same old Sabres typing SpongeBob font “cAn I bE nEgAtIvE aBoUt ThEm NoW?” That’s a loser’s mentality. We’ve wanted them to be good so long that we can’t handle them when they’re good, get our hopes up and then have a stinker. They’re not as good as the Caps right now, is that remotely shocking? Should that be something that makes us check the draft rankings? Are we really cowards like that? Jack Eichel took the shit and dealt with it and so should we. Captain Jack is not one to sit in the shit and mope about it. Maybe we shouldn’t either. And if some curly haired New Englander is the right messenger how about the other team’s C. Ovechkin gave the Leafs a decent white board quote when they shellacked our northern neighbors over the weekend: “Will they play for themselves or for a Cup?” He knows struggling for a long time to eventually breakthrough. I think we’ll breakthrough as a fanbase to not panic at the slightest sign of difficulty soon. We just got to be smart when we got a bad night.

Alright, Pep talk’s over. Let’s rant together. They’ve lost back to back for the first time this season and it wasn’t until November; but they’ve finally failed enough to shake off my first rant! And it starts with our favorite jock-voice jet setter Coach Krueger! This new coach is marching out my sweet baby boy Linus Ullmark against one of the most potent offenses in the Eastern Conference! AAAHHHHH!! If master motivator Ralph Krueger isn’t going to turn it around after a rough patch in the most stacked Atlantic Division in twenty years then I am not going to defend incompetence this time! I finally get to write a blog for money (southtownstickets.com, check it out) after years of writing about this god forsaken team for therapy and now you’re going to drive me into insanity right as opportunities like a 9-2-2 start to crop up!? GIVE ME A BREAK! There has to be some 70-year-old dude looking at me like a real amateur. Imagine that: imagine remembering every single disappointing year of this franchise and being made to get excited about a team everyone who knows any insight at all about the sport thinks are likely 10-15 points out of a playoff spot again. Imagine that! That guy must feel really denied, eh?! I feel insulted for him! You know who I don’t feel insulted for? YOU DUMB ASS TONAWANDA/CHEEKTOWAGA/ORCHARD PARK BOOT KISSING GAS LIGHTING TROLLS WHO ARE JUST DYING TO ROAST ANY USAGE OF ADVANCED STATS! WHAT DO YOU DO? I’m not talking to you old guys, no you just grew up with a league that encouraged assault with a deadly weapon, and you miss it. I’m talking to you: yeah you, you under 30 Trump voting fucks who think math is out to ruin your hockey! WHO HURT YOU? WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS? DOES CHAD’S FACE JUST MAKE YOU IRRATIONALLY VIOLENT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO PUNCH IT? GET THERAPY, don’t take it out on the someone who just happens to enjoy hockey with a few extra numbers! UNFOLLOW YOU IGNORANT PRICK! DAHLIN DOESN’T NEED TO BE BENCHED BECAUSE YOU REWARD CREATIVITY YOU SELF-DEFEATING SHITHEAD! Ugh, you stupid fucks…*deep breath*… okay you probably want some real content now… okay per Darren Dreger Sabres GM Jason Botterill is looking to make a trade for forward depth …*takes another deep breath*… okay let’s talk about this game for real now.

Henri Jokiharju scored his first goal as a Sabre. It was a weird one. It bounced off a Caps’ back and over Brendan Holtby. That’s nice anyway for a guy whose been fantastic so far. He deserves it more than most even deserved to be on the ice in this game. Every defensive pairing except maybe John Gilmour and Colin Miller was roasted on an open fire. It’s like a Bills tailgate with less liquor and no broken tables. It’s hard to compliment forwards here since none of them scored but Conor Sheary and his line with Casey Mittelstadt looked sharp. Maybe it’s time to get Victor Olofsson off Eichel’s wing? We’ve been thinking about it for a while, but this is the first official skid so maybe Krueger actually does it now. Hell, maybe the Isles have to face Skinner-Eichel tomorrow. Now that I think about it, please do that, I’ll be in attendance. I also feel the need to bring up Evan Rodrigues. Dude: what’s going on? I want you to get your mojo back but you’re not looking good. I saw a trade scenario with you as an add on and I didn’t hate it. You maybe running out of time. If you’re going to turn it around you probably have to do it… like now-ish.

Like and share this blog. While you’re at it rant with me in the comments. We haven’t had good grounds for a rant yet. Let’s be thankful it didn’t get here until the Christmas music started playing. The Isles are hot right now and I want to call em soft since I’m seeing them live tomorrow I just can’t. Look, there’s no cakewalks this month. If they suck ass tomorrow at home they’re going to get booed. I’m not in booing mood after a 9-3-2 start but lord knows if they trail at all tomorrow at home some Tonawanda fucks are going to do it! Well enough bad words for tonight. I’m tired and I’m heading to Toronto in the morning tomorrow before the game. Drop me any recommendations that come to mind. I’m already doing the Hockey Hall of Fame so be more creative. Nothing makes me cheer for the Sabres harder than going to Toronto! Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for Reading.

P.S. If you are from Tonawanda, Cheektowaga or Orchard Park those insults are not aimed at you for simply being from there. They are aimed at the high number of gas-lighting trolls who originate from your town. Please don’t make this disclaimer relevant, don’t be a dumbass.