#not that all that is evil per se. maybe evil ‘transfigured’

[apesoformythoughts]

Sometimes I think that all this seeking and wandering is a feature specific to a postlapsarian world.

[fangirlbase]

The Howl of the Moon - Remus Lupin

Summary:

After a terrible accident in the battle at the Ministry in 1995, Hermione Granger wins a one-way ticket to the past. Unable to go back to his time, his only chance for survival is to adapt to the late 70s and get on with his life, interfering as little as possible so that the future does not fall apart.

However, everything goes downhill when Remus John Lupine starts to notice too much the new girl who clearly wanted to go unnoticed by Hogwarts.

Chapters: Prolog | One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven

Warnings: matureSummary:After a terrible accident in the battle at the Ministry in 1995, Hermione Granger wins a one-way ticket to the past. Unable to go back to his time, his only chance for survival is to adapt to the late 70s and get on with his life, interfering as little as possible so that the future does not fall apart.However, everything goes downhill when Remus John Lupine starts to notice too much the new girl who clearly wanted to go unnoticed by Hogwarts.Chapters: Prolog | One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | SevenWarnings: mature

                                         5.The one of the fight

- Come on, Remus! It's no problem for you to spend Easter at home! - Peter offered just before they boarded the express for the holiday.

- I would be a nuisance, Rabbit. Your parents wouldn't know about my arrival, and I haven't even told my parents about the change of plans.

- But if you thought it best not to come back this year...

- I'll be fine, Pete. It's not even close to the moon, it's just a few days. - Remus calmed his friend, saying good-bye to the rest of the group, and as usual Sirius would spend the holiday with the Potters, after all he had been practically adopted by Euphemia.

That hadn't been a lie at all. His parents were really going through a fight at the moment-and he didn't want to go into an environment where they were at war-but the decision to stay in school had been his alone. He knew that Jean would stay in school, and since she didn't have any other friends he thought it was a good idea to stay and keep her company.

I mean, at least he had thought about it, since Jean didn't seem to be that interested in his company. She had unfortunately found another poor soul to disturb-or at least that was how Severe Snape liked to grumble about her company. Since the day the girl had helped him with his transfiguration work, time and again they had met and studied together in the library - not together, together, but in the sense of coexisting at the same table, with occasional exchanges of words where they would clear up a question or two with each other.

That was the most Snape could allow himself to do considering the amount of eyes around, after all, he was a sonserine and proud of it, but he also had to consider the presence of his housemates - not that his fellow diners would attack her just for asking a question, but they would make the Griffin girl's life a living hell if they wanted to (as hellish as Sirius Black calling her out daily) and he didn't want that for her, after all she was even tolerable. After all, Severe Prince Snape had acquired a mild sympathy for Jean Granger to the point that he wanted her to have peace during her years as a student - and of course even sporadically study with him.

"Only Griffin girl who has a bit of brain matter" - he had muttered one day, eliciting a low chuckle from her, as well as a small smile of his own.

Remus did not share the same hatred for Snape that Sirius and James had. To tell the truth, he was perhaps at the same level of dislike that Peter had for the sonserine, which was nil. He honestly had nothing against Snape, he just thought he was snotty, but this whole situation of comp-dividing Jean's attention was irritating Moony, at least that's what Remus was telling himself, that it was his wolf side that was really bothering him and not him per se, not completely, maybe a part of it?

Truth be told, since Remus had witnessed the whole Severo-Lillian situation (two years earlier) he felt duty-bound to spare Jean from going through any situation merely similar to the one starring the sonserine. She didn't deserve to be called names or anything like that! So, in Lupin's eyes, Snape was far from being someone to be trusted, especially considering the other friendships he maintained when he was away from the girl.

Thus, unconsciously, Remus had taken it upon himself to be the "knight in shining armor" for Jean, not that he needed to or much less that she would accept it if she knew what the boy was thinking, but in any case for him to protect her from the evil sonserines he needed to find her first. Come on, it was almost eleven o'clock in the morning on a Thursday, where could the witch be?

The common room? No.

Great Hall? No.

Astronomy tower? No.

Library? No.

Black lake? No.

Whomping Willow? Yes.

Yes!?

What the hell was Jean doing there? Was it really her? Forcing his eyes open, Remus saw a figure sitting in the line just before the range of the Whomping Willow, staring up at the tree with a lost expression on her face. Approaching without any care, Remus could not hold his curiosity as he sat down next to her.

- Why are you alone here?

- The castle is almost empty, I would be alone anywhere else.

- But why here?

- I woke up in a mood for fights, and since we don't have an active dueling club at school, I thought that watching the willow fight with the air would be a good substitute.

- Wouldn't that be hurting any tree protection rights? - Remus amused.

- I'm not the one hurting or attacking the tree, I'm just here as a spectator! - Hermione defended herself. - By the way, in all your time here, have you by any chance ever seen it treated by a gardener? - Hermione pondered, remembering when the Weasley's car had crashed into her in her second year.

Professor Snape had gone to a lot of trouble to get the bodywork back that night, along with Madame Hootch and Pomona Sproutch.

- I think only a couple of times... Did you know that she was almost killed once?

- Hit by a car? - She joked.

- What?

- I mean, I guess it takes an accident like that to almost kill a tree that fights with anyone who comes near it!

- Actually, it was just a very intense winter. He even kept a scarf wrapped around his trunk, out of respect.

Hermione bent her body to the side, leaning her head briefly on Remus' right shoulder, imagining the situation - but as she giggled from imagining the willow tree with a thermometer in its knot measuring its temperature, Remus froze. Wide-eyed, his breath caught in his throat. Was she really lying on his shoulder?!

Looking away, he could see that yes, she was. Should he move? Should he sigh? At least breathe again!

But with his breathing, came along Jean's scent, penetrating through his entire respiratory and cardiac system, making a....

"Yummy..." - Nosy Stupid as always allowed himself to pay attention to the conversation.

Oh my! He had stopped himself for a second before sticking his nose into the short hair of the girl next to him!

"Get a grip, SLOUTY" - Remus scolded the wolf, hearing a snort in response.

- Sorry. - Hermione realized where she was, pulling away immediately.

- No problem. - Remus replied, blushing.

- If you don't mind my asking, why did you stay here?

- Did you think I was going to leave you alone with that snotty guy? - Remus was amused, but when he saw Jean's closed expression, he realized that jokes didn't work on her. - Besides.... I didn't want to go home. My parents... They're fighting, and I didn't want to be in the middle of it all just when... I feel guilty about everything.

- Guilty, Lupin?

- I said, you can call me by my first name. - He gave a half smile.

- I like your last name, it's nice.

"Just the last name?" Moony took offense.

"With the scars you left me no one will ever think I'm handsome, you idiot."

"I a comma, you who did this to yourself trying to suppress me!"

- Caham - he huffed, focusing again on the conversation and not on his mental monologue with his other animal part - They fight a lot because of me, so I prefer not to be around, so as not to cause or feel pain.

- Nothing is your fault, Remus. - Hermione looked deep into his eyes, holding up her hands on impulse.

She hated the feeling of guilt she knew he always carried. He was a child, damn it! If there was one guilty party in that story, it was Greyback!

Remus just stared in shock at her joined hands. God, would she ever stop surprising him?! Hermione realized what she had done, but when she tried to pull her hands back, she felt him hold them tightly, preventing the movement. But Lupin had nothing to add to the conversation, he just wanted to feel the comforting touch in her hands some more, with the cool breeze hitting his face, bringing along with it Jean's scent and calming him in unthinkable ways.

He was letting someone else - and more specifically, a girl - touch him, and enjoying it.

* * *

- I didn't know your favorite chocolate, but I thought you might like this one. - Hermione passed the candy to Snape as if it were contraband when they bumped into each other in the hallway on Sunday.

- Chocolate with mint? - Severus looked at her strangely, stopping in his tracks to pay attention to her.

- Yeah, not sour, but weird enough to give you a reason to frown. - She joked, receiving a cold stare from him.

- Is this some kind of joke?

- It's not cursed, it's an Easter present, that's all!

Suspicious, Snape opened the package and broke off two pieces, handing one to her first, informing her that she would be his guinea pig. Rolling her eyes, Hermione put the candy in her mouth, making a face, being followed by him.

Who, instead of grimacing, smiled.

- It looks like I swallowed a tube of toothpaste!

- And you're happy about that?!

- It's a two-in-one chocolate, Granger! You eat it and brush your teeth in the process.

- Was that a joke?

- It was just a thank you, that's all. - He closed his expression again, but gave her the slightest smile before walking back towards the dungeon.

Just the fact that he could see she was running from those stupid Marauders and preferred to spend her time with him was a good softener for his ego.

And just as quickly as they had met, the two of them parted, each to their own corner. There were not supposed to be more than fifteen people in the school during that holiday, so that supervising the students became much easier - and gossip-worthy among the faculty, that is.

Minerva McGonagall stood at the end of the corridor, keeping an eye on her pupil. Not that she was curious, but she had already noticed that Mr. Lupin was no longer the only one the griffin girl interacted with, as now more recently Mr. Snape had become a constant in the girl's daily life. Of course Minerva as teacher and tutor was happy that little by little Jean was opening up to the reality she found herself and was making new friends, or perhaps more than friends. Was there something going on between Remus and Jean for their estrangement? The incorrigible romantic part of her wanted very much to believe so - even more so with it being a love triangle! Lupin and Snape would excuse her, but the thrill of a love story between quarrels and declarations had always attracted her, but since it wasn't her place to get involved, she could only observe Jean, and once in a while interfere, just like now.

- Jean, dear, are you all right? - Minerva intercepted her as she passed by.

- Yes, Professor. Is something wrong?

- Just checking.  As head teacher of Griffin, I can't go out on holidays, unless no one from my house is staying.

- But at Christmas some people stayed...

- That was a separate situation. Principal Dumbledore took over the supervision of our house and gave me a leave of absence. Anyway, is everything all right?

- Yes, yes. I didn't used to celebrate Easter so much before, so it's just... another Sunday. A Sunday with chocolate. - Hermione gave a half smile.

- If you need to talk, you know where my room is.

- But talk about what?

- Just about anything. - And with a wink, Minerva left.

Which meant nothing to Hermione, who thought her tutor had a nervous tic in her eyes.

____________

On holidays like this one, where only a small number of students remained at school, Dumbledore usually abolished the house system and unified everyone at a single table - and this Sunday dinner was no different. However, not everyone was comfortable with the situation, preferring to stay away from each other.

- Do you mind if I sit here? - Remus asked, already sitting next to Jean.

- Would it make any difference if I said no? - Jean asked with a smile.

- Not much. - He returned it with another, setting the alert for the gossips on duty. - I haven't seen you all day.

- I was out and about, nothing very special. Have you looked for me? Do you need anything? I thought we were only going to go over the lesson plan for the tutorial on Tuesday.

- Actually, there's not much to do on holidays around here. - He shrugged. - Sirius, James and Peter aren't here and I'm already ahead of schedule with all my assignments.

- So I'm only your third choice for company? I'm disappointed, Mr. Lupin. I thought we were friends. - You teased.

- I would say fourth, since I only looked for you now in the evening and not in the afternoon.

Neither of them had noticed when the flirting had begun, but if you were to bet, it was more of a flirting situation - just like Sirius with anyone, or James with Lily at the beginning of his romantic pursuit of the redhead.

- You've been reading all afternoon, haven't you? That's why you only remembered me now.

- Studying is quite different from reading. - He shrugged.

"I think you spend too much time with boys.

- By the way, since you reminded me. I think we could take the opportunity to discuss some of the monitoring stuff later in the communal hall. - Remus couldn't help himself.

- Do we have to?

- For some reason people in my year prefer your mentoring to mine.

- I didn't realize this, but if you say so.

Their conversation was interrupted by the dinner in front of them, occupying them for the next twenty minutes. Contrary to what Sirius had said months before, Hermione didn't murder the chicken thigh with her hands, she ate it delicately even - but she had no reason to be upset and take it out on the chicken.

As the two of them got up together, one or two gossiping professors exchanged galleons of a bet not at all worthy of educators. As they passed the stairs, they had to wait five minutes until they decided to return to their original position, giving them permission to go up towards the tower, in the meantime they talked quietly as if the whole scene created by Evans had never happened and had shaken their friendship. Once in the communal hall, Remus sat down on the rug in front of the fireplace, waiting for Jean to sit down on the couch next to him.

- You know, not that many people go to the monitorship.

- But of all the three who went, two went to you.

- In contrast, the four below in seventh grade ignored me and asked you for help, and I'm not complaining about that.

The truth was that most of the people who went to talk to him were only because it was the only possibility and opening he gave them to approach him.

- Probably because they think you will jinx them. - Remus commented, pulling a chocolate bar from his coat pocket.

- And why would I do that? - Jean asked, taking the chocolate he offered her.

- You're not one of the more sociable ones, you know. - He looked at her as he bit into the candy.

- Neither are you.

- But you're different. I've been here for seven years, you've just arrived, and you still have that frown on your face. That's scary, you know?

- At least the person I wanted to scare the most, the one I wanted to scare the most, the bridge of running away with my tail between my legs, is still giving me a hard time.

- Sirius?

- That's right. How do you manage to hang out with him without going crazy? Worse, how can you eat so much chocolate and still have this body?

- This body? - He was surprised.

- Come on, don't play dumb! You don't seem to know how you... Yeah!

"She likes what she sees...?" - Moony found it strange.

- My metabolism is fast, that's all. - He shrugged trying to hide that he was slightly embarrassed both by her noticing him and by the unnecessary comment from the wolf that divided his body and clearly was the reason he kept stuffing himself with candy and never gained an ounce more.

'You're welcome.' - The wolf had the nerve to say thank you.

- Well, mine is too, and if I don't control myself, I'll win very quickly.

- I don't think... I think you're fine the way you are, it's just your hair that I have my disagreements with, but you already know that. - Remus said without thinking, stuffing a giant piece of chocolate into his mouth to keep himself occupied.

- Was that a compliment? - Hermione was amused.

- I only returned what you said before, but I really preferred your long curls.

- Thank you, Hermione. For the compliment and well... for liking my curls.

* * *

As fast as it came, the easter holiday was over, and as far as our couple "friends" were concerned it was as if all the misunderstanding of Valentine's Day hadn't happened, Hermione and Remus went back to talking quietly, exchanging books of common interest, preparing the tutoring classes and when they didn't study together it was because Remus was with the Rascals while Jean was in the library with a certain sonserino.

Saturday had arrived once again and naturally the morning was busy with the various groups of students coming and going from their tour of Hogsmeade! Hermione had left early, intending to buy some new feathers, since hers had mysteriously appeared enchanted the previous afternoon, just writing...

"Sirius Black is a handsome fellow"

"Sirius Black is calling you to go out next weekend"

"My dream is to go out with Sirius Black"

"Why does the pretty girl pay attention to nerdy Lupin and not Sirius Black?"

She had to admit, Sirius had style - he even managed to get a smile out of her with that tactic (followed by a celebration a la Pele and Galvão Bueno at the 1998 World Cup final when the older man noticed her smile in the communal room). But although she found the gesture funny, Hermione couldn't hand in her assignments with those sayings - how funny would it be for Professor Binns to receive an essay with only invitations to leave Sirius?

Making sure to leave her feather case well away from the naughty ones, Hermione slipped into the local bookstore, spending the next fifty minutes lost in thought, just perusing the new titles.

- Why isn't it a surprise to find you here? - Snape blinked as he pulled a book from the shelf and bumped into her.

- Probably because this is my natural habitat.

- A complete library pussy. - He replied in a sour voice, causing Hermione to look strangely at him, only to see Malfoy walking past them.

Which meant nothing, since he was more interested in wooing Narcisa Black than anything else.

- Since you insist on it... -Hermione shrugged, ignoring the sonserino, if he wanted to be her friend away from the eyes of others she wouldn't mind, it wasn't anyone's "dirty little secret"!

-Problems? - A third voice chimed in beside her.

Remus and Peter had arrived a few minutes ago only to hear the slight cursing.

- Why would I? - she wondered. Okay, Snape's tone when he called her a "Library rat" was anything but cordial, but she was a library rat and proud of it, so she would let herself be taken aback.

- Isn't that snotty guy bothering you? - Peter, who was not even in the bookstore of his own volition, made himself present, holding up his nose.

Oh, he hadn't done that.... Until then Hermione had treated him as politely as she would any other student at school, she kept reminding herself that he was still a normal person, a good friend of the rascals who hadn't yet betrayed them like the real rat he was. But calling Snape by that ridiculous nickname for no reason had given her every possible reason to disdain him, at least for the moment.

But she remembered that Remus had also called Severus that.

Gee, this floor is dirty, isn't it? You'd better give it a good wipe, that's for sure.

- Sorry, what?

- Snot...

- I heard perfectly well what you said, I just don't understand what or who you're referring to.

- Snape. - Remus translated uncomfortably, realizing how annoyed the girl was now with them.

- If you want to refer to him, call him by his last name, not by unnecessary nicknames. And no, I haven't had anyone bothering me so far. - She pointed out, and the next second she saw Lily walk through the doorway, which caused both her and Snape, who was still in the next hallway, to shiver. - If you'll excuse me.

She quickly left, or rather fled, the establishment - Hermione intended to hide from the redhead as long as she could after all the misunderstanding on Valentine's Day. Not that she thought Lily was going to make any little jokes about her and Lupin or anything, but she wanted to avoid any uncomfortable talk about apologies or anything like that. Hermione knew that the older girl hadn't meant any harm, it was actually a big misunderstanding, but running away seemed much easier than facing the redhead who insisted that she should get out of her bubble and make friends with the other girls she shared the dorm with...

Remus, on the other hand, had misinterpreted the whole situation.  In his perception, Jean had left because she was really upset with the way he and Peter had treated Snape. That is, he who was already annoyed by Sirius' last attempt to get the girl's attention, was now infinitely more unhappy for having disappointed the witch. Come on, just when he thought he had succeeded in catching the attention of a pretty girl, Sirius went and tried and succeeded before him! Worse, even Snape had been defended by her! He was not happy about that at all.

"GO AFTER HER!" - Moony imposed his opinion, moving his legs and sending him after her.

He didn't have to walk very far, as soon as he left the bookstore leaving Peter with Lily and James he managed to spot her at the end of the street passing just followed her to .... House of Screams. Well, this was probably the first time he had seen her in the village, so it was only fair that she went there to see the famous haunted house... He just hoped she wouldn't be curious about the screams, since the person responsible (Him) had been trying to be noticed by her for a long time - he definitely didn't want it to be in the context of: "Hi, is I'm the reason people think the house is haunted because once a month I turn into a beast with claws and fangs that likes to howl at the moon." Ignoring his mental outburst he took a deep breath to build courage and ease the tension before getting the girl's attention.

- Is everything all right, Jean?

- Why wouldn't I be? - She didn't look at him.

- It's not like you to leave like that.

- If I had stayed, you would either have started a duel with Snape in the middle of the store, or Evans would have come to disturb me. Since I wanted neither, I left.

- Does she annoy you that much? - Remus didn't like the way he felt cringe at that idea.

- Doesn't she annoy you? It would be the same if you started pestering me that I was dating Snape, or worse, Malfoy. - She had been thinking about Draco at that moment, she admitted. I mean, not that she is this matchmaking or pushy person. I know she is a wonderful person, but she is trying very hard to get me to fit in with people and any sign of any interaction I have with any other student or pupil she turns into a huge happy thing

Every statement about a possible flirtation with Snape or Malfoy irritated Moony a little, so much so that Remus himself barely paid attention to the end of the girl's statement as he was trying to convince the wolf that eating snakes was not healthy at all.

- Can I ask you a question? - Hermione roused Remus from his bubble.

- He just did.

- What do you have against Snape?

- I have nothing against him, exactly..." She began to say, remembering not to call the boy a snot. - He is a sonserino who insists on mocking, even if not as openly as the other snakes, any Griffinian. And, well, after the whole situation with Lily in fifth year... I don't know if you know, but... In short, they were best friends until he said horrible things to her! So I can't tolerate guys like him on principle. Not to mention the company he keeps. It seems that I have a lot of things against him...

It wasn't as if Hermione had an answer for the situation, she herself knew how horrible it was to be called a bad blood, so it wasn't as if she could defend Snape in that sense. And the Griffinian-Sonserine implications were a rivalry as old as time, meaning both sides were wrong and unless someone decided to be an adult in the situation and put an end to those implications nothing would be solved. But soon her contemplative silence was interrupted when Remus turned to her.

- That's why I don't like him! - said the boy as if he had just discovered the real reason for his dislike of the Sonserine. - He hangs out with Avery, Mulciber, Malfoy, and Black, and if you haven't noticed, all of them are the offspring of dinosaurs!

- Sirius is also a Black and the son of a diner, and frankly I don't see either you or James becoming one. - Hermione let it slip, losing her color after the quick realization that she had left Peter out of her statement.

A fact that Remus, thank God, didn't notice.

- But they are diners, diners, Hermione! - Remus said his real name, low and exasperated. - The ones who destroyed your village, killed your parents and friends! The same ones who sent you here, made you need to change your name and... e.... cut your hair! - He spoke louder the last part, putting too much emphasis on his haircut than on everything else.

- It's just hair, Remus! - Hermione was already a little annoyed that he was insisting so much on this and wanted to divert the subject from anything about her "dead" parents or the attack of diners on her "village".

- Very nice hair! - His voice had come out a little huskier, with a golden glow quickly passing through his eyes.

"MOONY!" - Remus scolded the wolf, who was struggling to be heard since he had realized that all that arguing between Jean and her human part was certainly heading for a fight. Their first fight, by the way.

- Lupin, honestly... - Jean shook her head negatively, holding back from rolling her eyes. - If you're really going to give me a hard time about my friendship choices, I might as well do the same.

- What do you mean by that?

- You say I can't hang out with Snape because of what he's done to Lily in the past and because he's friends with "proto" dinosaurs, but you forget that you're not in a good situation yourself. If you really want me to stay away from Snape, I'll do it.

The smile began to grow on Remus' face, only to be interrupted with a

- But only if you stay away from James. - She would have liked to include Sirius in the speech by mentioning when the boy had set Severus up to go to the screaming house on a full moon where he could have died! But in theory she didn't know that so she wouldn't say anything.

- What? What does this have to do with anything?

-You complain so much about him calling Lily a Bad Blood, but you forget that he only did that after being hung upside down with no pants in the middle of the garden! By the way, why didn't you stop them?! You can't dislike people to the point of being irrelevant in matters like that!

- He told you...

- It wasn't only you who tried hard to keep me away from someone potentially dangerous. - he joked.

Remus took a deep breath, processing all of this. He couldn't, he just couldn't do that for just one girl, even if she was the most amazing, intelligent, beautiful girl he had ever met. James was his brother, the one who knew his secret and wouldn't give up his friendship even if it meant befriending a monster.

- I'm sorry, Granger. I can't do this.

- I know, that's exactly why I won't stay away from Snape either. They both made mistakes, but that doesn't mean they can't get a second chance and change for the better. James did it for Lily and I believe Snape just needs a little better friends. After all, as you pointed out, the company he keeps is dubious to say the least, but that doesn't mean he is evil. I'm not asking you to approach him and invite him over for tea, I'm just asking you not to worry about it.

- But I do worry about you! - he let slip, watching Jean's body tensing immediately. - I mean, you are my friend, and you are clearly associating with witches who will surely become the same as... those who took everything from you.

Indeed they would, but it would take them twenty years to do so.

- Remus, I'm not marrying him, just studying together. But if it worries you so much, I think you should start reviewing your list of friendships as soon as possible. - she said, turning her back to the boy.

Remus didn't know what to do when he saw her leave. He hated her disappointed tone, disappointed in him and his friends. And worse, he didn't know how to fix it, he couldn't just walk away from his best friends to defend his point of view, after all he himself knew that wasn't what Jean wanted when she forced the topic. But he also couldn't stop worrying about her and the risk she was taking by getting close to Snape and consequently other sonserinos who could be a real risk to her!

James' fights with Lily seemed much more fun, mainly because they were settled in the next second. Why couldn't his fight with Jean be the same way? He asked himself as he walked back to the village alone.

"It wouldn't be bad at all to get a reconciliation kiss" - Moony opined, remembering how James and Lily's fights were resolved.

Remus just laughed defeatedly, considering that lately the Wonder Couple's heated fights ended in a public spat, but Jean was just a friend?

No, she was definitely more than that! She was his best friend! And maybe... Anyway, he just wanted to work it out with her as soon as possible.

They needed to work it out!