#notes for myself to read in future

[program-800]

/where have i been/the future

I've been gone a long while because I decided in some possessed state of mind in summer 2022 that I wanted to try for a PhD. I rolled the dice for the first time in December 2023 and (to my shock) landed an offer. I wrote about analysing fanfiction in my SOP and I really hope now to realise that as part of my formal research agenda.

The path to preparing for applications, finding information, etc. took me by surprise in terms of how much self-reflection it generated and the subsequent pain that followed. I consider myself very much an outsider to these things based on my personal and academic background.

To be honest, I'm still reeling in doubt from the offer. I am excited but also so very afraid. I've always been very candid that I learned to code by myself and am not from CS (I'm from the social sciences) - this Tumblr is entirely structured off self-learning - and I guess I'll always carry that fear of being unqualified in computational work because of that.

This is all perhaps very irrational but I think at the end of the day, I'll find a way to gather up the courage and give this offer my best shot. For anyone who's ever read this blog, I thank you for your interest. It has in no small part helped develop a dream which pushed me to consider a PhD. I hope I'll be able to write about such analyses again in the near future - maybe here, or maybe (if I dare to dream further; but it's clouded by nerves now) even a paper.

[d8tl55c]

me: waiting for shoe(s) to drop

Personified Alan Becker YouTube Icon: oh... buddy...

[just-a-skrunkly]

A week or so left I’m actually going insane. Take my fic about my soul theory and just like read it if u want or something (/nf)

[emometalhead]

.

[lightningflvsh]

hello followers on my semi-inactive blog. can someone talk me out of doing hours of research in order to build my own timeline/canon rewrite of the dc comics universe because i’ve been filled with an Urge to do just that and i don’t know if my motivation issues can take it

[bunnyboy-juice]

i guess this is a vent? idk I'm talk to myself some is all

the thing ab CAB is she will literally experience us having coughing fits every couple of hours overnight, waking up drowsy and dizzy with a sore throat, clutching her stomach as the sick affects the tummy and also the pre-existing GI issues, and brain empty bc sick brain fog + grief brain fog + already have brain problems. and her ass will still try to take over and be like NO WE'RE OKAY EVERYTHINGS OKAY LETS GO TO WORK OKIE DOKIE LETS GO YOU'RE LETTING EVERYONE DOWN (< who i have no idea btw. everyone in my life is telling me to stay home & rest. probably dad cus he doesnt believe in covid but he also doesnt mean shit anymore in our lives bby I promise) LETS GO. like girl. we literally cant even stand without getting dizzy and we got terrible sleep last night AND our boss is letting us "wfh" instead of exhausting our eto. could you be any more .... oh god word dont elude me now ..... whatever. anyway. CAB shut the fuck up challenge

[moon--kiss]

throwing away stuff from a past life is so weird

[the-golden-dragoness]

Not crying and being guilt ridden again :))))))

[vulpinesaint]

desperately trying to remember if there are any books i read this year that i cannot find on my library borrowing history or simply cannot remember. i am so bad about remembering books. LITERALLY REMEMBERED ONE AS I'M WRITING THIS POST. anyway i am attempting to compile a list of books that i've read this year so that i can reference it without having to forget everything. wish me luck. i have fifteen titles on there right now but i can't shake the feeling there's something i'm forgetting

[mistfallengw2]

Further design notes on Aurelia's design (and some backstory infodump)

[previous notes on non-armor design changes here (not entirely up to date)]

(Everything under read more because it's a lot of screens and text oops)

Legions, before 1320 AE Her gear changed often during her 12 years of active service, especially since she tinkered in armorsmithing as a hobby, but this one was more or less her favored setup: simple design that protects while still allowing movement + lots of spiked parts to ram into enemies, especially the helm's horn that compliments her own.

Mists, 1320-1324 AE Long story short, Aurelia ended up in the Mists while fighting the first wave of branded that followed the creation of the Brand, specifically after smashing assorted human artifacts while trying to take down a big branded griffon. After dealing the killing blow, she then wandered the Mists for ??? (time in the Mists is weird), hoping to find a way out while injured and failing not to panic, till she stumbled upon the spirit of a certain crystalline dragon. A pitifully short fight later, Glint admitted she saw something in the charr, then offered her the powers of a dragon to do what had to be done: go back to Tyria and finish the wounded Kralkatorrik.

When Aurelia accepted, desperate to get out of there and see her family again (if they were still alive), she was given one of the dragon's facets, which bound itself to her damaged armor and magically transmuted it (golden and crimson, reflecting her own aura, with the facet itself in the center), as well as granting her a direct connection with Glint's spirits and her draconic powers.

Still, before Aurelia could go and do her task, she needed to hone her powers as fast as possible. Initially a hard deal because Aurelia had never used magic in her life, but it seemed to proceed well... until it backfired spectacularly. Glint's cryptic words whenever she inquired about her family had made her worry grow too much, far beyond making meditation hard, and when it was time for her to try and make her very first rift, it spat her out in buttmist nowhere, as her focus was elsewhere (she had unknowingly aimed for the Domain of the Lost, where most of her warband was). She tried to follow Glint's instructions, but other voices had accidentally entered her mind, and subsequent attempts to go back to where she started went progressively worse as she messed up again and again, stumbling in other places until she ended up in a forgotten corner of the Mists, where [data corrupted], something no mortal mind was ever meant to witness.

Against all odds, Aurelia managed to escape, thoroughly traumatized and wounded deeply by what she had experienced, but the facet had stopped working like before and turned dim, having taken the brunt of the corruption while shielding her. Aurelia struggled to contact the real Glint again, but she only found her echo to add to the others in her head. Still on the brink of corruption, she wandered aimlessly, fighting her way through fractal after fractal, her mind slipping away as her armor turned darker and darker, facet's powers and her memories fading as any thoughts beyond survival became drowned out by the constant whispers of echoes. It was a long time spent in that nothingness before she realized she had gotten stuck in an anomaly fractal for who knows how long.

Vigil, 1324 AE After popping out of the Mists thanks to a friend's "sacrifice", she had no memory of what happened in the Mists beyond having had it rough. Farm shenanigans happened, remembers some of what happened to her, then found out what happened to her warband and that her son was AWOL, so she pulled herself back together in hopes of finding him. Powers came and went, got a bit better after she got used to the constant voices in her head. After a brief stay in the Black Citadel to sort out some Legions' matters, she officially joined the Vigil and became a Crusader, relying on some old friends there, including Almorra. Thankfully an exception to the uniform code was allowed: Aurelia just can't separate herself from that weird enchanted chest piece with the glowy thing, mostly because she feels safer and overall better when wearing it... but especially because, even if she leaves it locked in a chest somewhere, it just reappears in her close proximity. The fact that it forms itself around her torso is just a nice added bonus.

Orr campaign, 1325 AE Very glad to find out that Adamas was alive and well in Lion's Arch and working for another Order, very much not glad that she didn't get to enjoy their reunion before a whole other dragon started wrecking stuff too close for comfort. Not too keen on the whole Pact Commander role for herself because she's not used to being in a leadership position of any sort, but trusts Trahearne and she'll do what she has to. Some memories start coming back thanks to a new friend's help, but while she's not that eager to rediscover more, it does seem to make her powers a bit more reliable, and killing a dragon helps a bit too. Swapped the pauldrons for something lighter and more flexible.

Season 1 and 2, 1326-27 AE Being constantly busy is nice, because you can't think about your own trauma when you gotta prevent or fix trauma-causing events, right? Right? All the stuff with Glint's aspects charges her armor up and makes her memory clear up more. However, visiting Glint's lair sure was a trip for her, one she could have done without, given what she remembered afterwards. At least she's convinced herself to make and wear charr armor again, which feels a bit like the "home" she'll never have again. Small progress, but having her son by her side and a growing support net does help her stabilize.

Heart of Thorns, 1328 AE When Aurelia touched Aurene's egg for the first time, her armor had reacted and... turned slightly lighter? Not that she had time to really understand what was happening, busy as she was being chased through the jungle by a murdertree. Maybe it's the contact with Exalted stuff that's inherently linked to Glint and the egg being Glint's own, but her powers did get more reliable after all that, so she's not complaining. Also, uh, when did her pauldrons become "part" of the chest piece?

Season 3, 1329 AE Swapped out damaged parts of her armor, went for matching colors to her chest piece. When Aurene hatched, Aurelia's armor reacted again... and again she didn't get the chance to figure it out right away, but it seemed just another case of it lighting up a shade. The bond with the dragon hatchling opened a clearing in her mind, and the more time she spends with her, the better she feels, the more stable her powers seem to become. Might also be all that unstable magic she's coming in contact with, but she doesn't turn crazed like other people do (seeing weird luminous things was quickly resolved and does not count), so it's fine.

Path of Fire, 1330 AE

By the time Aurelia leaves for the desert, her armor had shifted to a slightly lighter color again (she had to repair/remake her armor periodically anyway), and the facet was glowing brighter. In the fight with Balthazar where she died, his sword easily tore through the enchanted metal and shattered the facet. When she came back to life, the armor was inert and severely damaged, but to her surprise, her powers were not tied to the facet or armor, but her own and strong like before (actually stronger, as dying removed some of the corruption). She repaired it as she could before setting out to slay a god and save Aurene, but she left the hollow space where the facet used to be untouched.

Season 4, 1330-32 AE When Aurelia had drawn on Aurene's powers during the final fight with Balthazar, a small crystal had formed itself in the facet's place, and she kept it, thinking it was a shard of the original facet. After a few days, while Aurelia was repairing and upgrading her armor (it wasn't enchanted anymore, so she went all in and used orichalcum as well), the crystal started glowing blue. To humor herself and the curious voices in her head, she tried placing it in the breastplate's empty slot, and to her surprise it bound itself to it. The whole armor slowly became enchanted by the new facet, turning stronger than normal despite not being indestructible, at least until Aurene ascended. She does start wearing a shawl occasionally, be it to hide the facet's glow or to have more shielding from the weather.

IBS and onwards, 1332+ AE Turns out that Aurelia had apparently been slowly enchanting the gear she crafted/repaired (ask her skyscale how she found out that could happen). She doesn't know since when, since it was excess magic latching onto things, but she has now figured out how to willingly channel magic into her gear, so now her armor is almost as shiny as Aurene. She can also do more things with it thanks to Aurene's magic, even on the go!

-

Casual Overall she gets little proper downtime so she's more often than not in armor, but she's been enjoying more "multicultural" clothes since coming back from the Mists. She particularly likes comfy shirts that leave her guns arms out or have wide sleeves, but she will wear anything as long as it doesn't feel too tight and restrictive (and still allows her to carry the facet comfortably).

---

Assorted notes

- The original facet only served as a conduit for Glint's magic, as without help Aurelia (or any mortal) wouldn't have survived the sheer amount of it, especially since she wasn't magically trained at all.

- After enduring the corruption, the facet pretty much acted as a "life support" against its effects, filtering it out just enough to allow Aurelia to recover from what happened when she was corrupted. The anomaly fractal's own "nature" actually helped her survive the worst part of the process, as there was still a chance of succumbing to the corruption anyway or being killed if she stumbled in the wrong place in that state.

- Her memories faded and became blocked off entirely during her time in the Mists post-corruption (became progressively more like how in a dream you can't remember most of your real memories, then stayed like that other than random bursts of remembrance and awareness in the anomaly fractal) due to the trauma and the corruption's influence. For the first few days out of the Mists she barely knew her name (also as a result of her escape, was exhausted to the point of acting nearly feral), then they slowly came back to her as she made the effort and the corruption was cleansed. With the exclusion of what her mind couldn't process at all (mostly things that happened while she was on the brink of corruption), by EoD she remembered pretty much everything of her life, while what happened in the Mists pre-[data corrupted] is still a bit dubious even with Aurene's help due to its inherent mistfuckery and the limitations of Aurelia's own understanding at the time.

- The corruption also irreversibly messed with her powers, specifically not allowing her to create traversable portals to the Mists. She can create ones in the superficial layers of the Mists (the ones used in attacks), but anything beyond that spits her back (as if the Mists rejected her) and gives her a very unpleasant feeling close to pain (partially works on others as well, and she uses it tactically at times). She can traverse other portals just fine, although being in the Mists does give her anxiety.

- The friendly being bound to the anomaly fractal was ultimately the one who managed to send her back to Tyria. While she had gotten better in there to the point of coherency and relatively frequent awareness, her escape had taken a lot out of them both, and she only "remembers" flashes of her time in there and that she misses whoever they were.

- Rytlock is still the first revenant by technicality, as Aurelia only had Glint's powers in the Mists and then didn't have the full array of rev powers until Aurene hatched. In a way, she was a failed first attempt.

- While it was a very necessary crutch during the initial times after getting out of the Mists, later Aurelia only used the blindfold on occasions when the voices get too loud and confusionary for her to handle (echo-migraine). She also doesn't use helms anymore.

- The new facet is a mix of Aurene's magic and her own, which is why she has much more control over it compared to Glint's facet.

- While the corruption is like 99.99% gone thanks to the bond with Aurene filtering it away, it still has left a mark on Aurelia. Whether Aurene was ever aware of what it originated from or not, she only mentioned it in a vague comparison to the Dragonvoid. P****a is the first to openly notice it and be quietly unnerved by it, but she didn't mention it again.

- With the last upgrade of her armor and the link with Aurene strengthening after her ascension, she is able to summon crystalline wings fully on her own (just for gliding, requires a lot of concentration/magic). While they still show some of the lingering corruption and its damages in their opaqueness, they shine with her aura (first pic). If she had been able to do it at any point before then, they would have shown the corruption far more heavily (second pic).

[arolesbianism]

So I may or may not have spent a good chunk of my day trying to learn how to look into onis code and while I may not have yet succeeded I will likely keep fucking around with shit tomorrow and if I manage to succeed it'll spell great doom for my sanity as oni becomes the interest I've officially poured the most effort into analyzing

[crushedsweets]

CREEPED VISUAL NOVEL Link, tutorial, extra art, Q&A, some chatter

The CREEPED Prologue is completely free and browser-ready. Gameplay is about 10 minutes. Please read the "tutorial" and notes before playing!

Follow Y/N and their dog, Max, through their grandparents' farm and a mysterious forest filled with...less than fortunate people!

PLAY HERE; works best on PC

This visual novel is powered by GOOGLE SLIDES! It has 0 programming and was created by one person in a little over a month, so please bear with any "bugs" and clunkiness!

TUTORIAL

>Click using mouse/trackpad >Go slowly to not break game >Do not use arrow or space keys

EXTRA NOTES:

>Works best on PC/Browser, I haven't tested the full game on mobile yet >In general, clicking the PNGs on the textbox (Apple, Teddy Bear, Hatchet, etc) will lead you to the right page >If you land on a page that tells you to "go back," that's when you should click the back-arrow key. If your cursor disappears, it doesn't register the click correctly >I recommend moving your cursor periodically to avoid it disappearing and sending you to the wrong page

EXTRA ART

some WIPS and the original sprite-style i was gonna choose LOOOOOOOL

Q&A

Q: Is this an x reader? A: This is a reader-insert, but it's not romantic and I try to keep it as neutral and unidentifiable as possible! Q: What's the plot? A: GENERALLY AND WITHOUT SPOILERS, your dog gets you into trouble and you're just looking to help him!

Q: Who is in the prologue? A: Tim, Brian, Toby, and Kate! More will be added in future chapters.

Q: When will future chapters be posted? A: Not sure! This took me about a month to do, and half was spent over winter break. I will try to get chapter 1 posted before summer, but I am a full-time student, employed, have extracurriculars, etc etc

ok thats all i only remember 4 questions feel free to ask more LMAO

CHATTER(because you know i can talk forever)

ok i just wanted to be able to talk about how the process was with this and how i feel about the results and whatnot...

ive been wanting to make a google slides visual novel since i was like 13 LOL it hit the point where i was repeatedly told i should just learn to code but i was like NOOOOO ITS GOTTA BE GOOGLE SLIDESSSS which is totally stupid but hey. i think that gives it some sort of simple charm that reminds me of being 16 and doing little projects in my room LOL i like working with the easiest tools . my bad

anyway. im just very happy LOL. it's not perfect but i feel like i came full circle in a sense?!?! i've been into creepypasta since i was 9 and it comforted me when things were really hard, and when i was 18 i was going through a really hard time and got back into creepypasta as a way to distract myself. i've always had a habit of throwing myself into fiction for escapism when things suuucked.

i'm 20 now but i've met SO many amazing people, had so many fun awesome exciting projects with friends, created tons of stuff im proud of, felt more motivated to create since i was like 13, have been inspired by so many amazing artists/authors on here, etc. just so so so lucky to find community in such a tight-knit cute fandom that thrives off of creativity and playing around! i hope i can keep the momentum and make a couple more chapters this year, but im kinda busy with school and work...LOL . i'm just excited to have this posted so i can have more discussion about it T_T

anyway thank you if you read this far and thank you if you played etc etc yaahhhhhh omg ok BYE THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING im just so grateful to be in this fandom

[fluffywhump]

*searches through notebooks all morning for timeline notes for a story*

*remembers suddenly I had already typed it into scrivner and the papers had been tossed*

[lieutenantselnia]

Request drawing of Selena and doof at a masquerade ball in the 18th century

Oh that is a lovely idea! The costumes seem pretty detailed though (which is not exactly my strong side) so I bet they'd take a good amount of time to draw😅 But I like the idea, I'll keep it in mind for later! :)

[crystaiskiess]

to go along with the final chapter of my merlin rewrite ‘the once and future kings’ - here is an artwork i did to accompany it

read the fic here on ao3

and read my authors note for the final chapter below the cut 💕

This fic has truly changed my life, I cannot even put into words how incredible of an experience this has been to write and to share with all of you. When I started 'The Once and Future Kings' almost four years ago so much was different. Writing this has genuinely been such a life changing thing - it has pushed me to pursue my dream of being an author again, introduced me to a whole new interest in life (arthurian legend) and challenged me to see what I can achieve if I really dedicate myself. I don't know where I'd be without it, and even knowing how much time, sweat and energy it would take to get here, I do think I would do it all again if given the chance.

A massive thank you to Rachel, my editor, without her, OAFK truly wouldn't have been possible. And also a huge thank you to every friend, and loved one who has listened to my endless rants and rambles about this fic.

Thank you to all of you for every single kudos, comment and kind word you've given this fic. I have read every comment, I have cherished every message and heart and smiley face you have sent my way. You have made this experience so wonderful, and I owe a lot to you all for getting me through to the end.

Here's to the end of OAFK, I hope this fic has brought you as much joy and enjoyment as it has to me - please let me know what you thought of this final chapter and I hope you will all continue to stick around to see what I do next 💕

[tsukimirecs]

geto suguru // fic recommendations

note: remember to read the tags! + i do not own any of these works

curious cat

lucky shot

dishonorable

what if i penned you like a tragedy, because i couldn't save you, but maybe it's enough that i tried

an acquired taste

to the wolves

wish you were sober

too tired to think (hug me)

gentle glow / deep thought

subway stations

mermaid motel

twelve minutes

waltz for sweatpants

tutorial on how not to get over your ex

butterflies

wouldst thou like to live deliciously?

in another lifetime

let the right one in

stealing glances, stealing hearts

an inescapable fate

wash it away

you never called

forever mine nevermind

do not answer

love me until i love myself

sweet

lillies

all my love, suguru

sooner or later.

so you were......... nothing?

sharing a kiss on new year's eve

controversy

summer nights

a grave of the future

muse

what if you're someone i just want around (i'm falling again)

i'd wait for you