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saintobio · 3 years ago

Note

I’m not so great at stringing words together but I just want to say thank you SO MUCH for putting out SN and part of SY for people to read !! I’m a slow reader so I’m not fully finished SY just yet but I can’t wait to reach and finish chapter 7 of SY ✨💫 it was a fun (and heart wrenching) emotional rollercoaster when reading the things that Y/N had to go through. I found your account mainly because of SN and I can’t wait to read what else you have on here once I’m done 💛💛 I wish you and the few lucky people who can read the rest of SY a bunch of fun seeing the story of Y/N continue !!

Anonymous said

hey I hope you know that I’m so proud of you for being able to deal with those people for so long! ur writing for the series was amazing probs one of the most amazing series I’ve read! you deserve to have both sides of ur pillows cold, always get ur order at restaurants right, ur charger always gets plugged in at one time! maybe one day in another multiverse u didn’t have to deal with all the stress

Anonymous said

Hi Saint, first of all, I just want to say thank you for the SN and SY series. Its my favorite and I’m sad these people were the cause of it being discontinued :( I don’t have a tumblr account so sadly I am not a moot, I discovered your amazing series just last week, but thank you so much for all your time and effort! I hope you’re taking care of yourself well. Thank you again. Perhaps one day, if you don’t mind, you will share the rest of the end. If not, we completely understand. Thank you ♥️

Anonymous said

Hello Saint! Just wanted to say thank you for giving sn/sy it was an amazing journey, I respect you so much because you are such a great writer and I honestly think you could be a newyork times bestselling author. I respect your decision to discontinue sy and wishing you best for the future and I hope everything gets less stressful in your life.

Anyways I'll always be excited whenever I get a notification from you (●´ω｀●)

Love you saint <3

Anonymous said

hi saint, I've been a fan of your sn/sy series for quite a while now and i absolutely loved what you had done with the plotline and characterization. despite the (numerous) tears the series has caused me, i think I'll forever keep this series in my heart <3

I'm sad to see this discontinued however I understand that's it's important for you to prioritise your mental health and write what you want to write. I look forward to your future fics!

Anonymous said

i’m so sorry the unnecessary pressure you had to deal with came to discontinuing sy. seeing how so many people acted in your ask box was so baffling. the way readers treating this story as if this was their own and not yours, and the blatant lack of reading skills was genuinely insane. it really goes to show how entitled people think they are to dictating someone else’s story. i hope this doesn’t discourage you from writing all together. you truly do have an incredibly beautiful way of writing tear jerking stuff.

and i really do mean this as advice to readers, but you are reading a story. you can’t demand constant self fulfillment from the author, you need to read it as a story. i understand emotions run high when reading something, and “grudges” against characters happen- that’s fine. you can hate a character for whatever reason, big or small. however, you can’t uncritically erase the value of a character and scold the author for the way they wrote a character in a manner you didn’t like. and considering the fact the author is someone who’s been under a lot of stress but still publishing their writing, you guys are acting incredibly selfish. stop treating stories as if they’re yours, but as someone else’s story.

once again, i’m so sorry you had to deal with all of this. it’s an unwanted consequence of readers thinking they’re entitled to a story. i cant wait for any of your future works, and look forward and fully support the future of your writing and you.

Anonymous said

although i’m very sad you’re discontinuing sy, i’m glad you’re putting yourself first. you’re an incredible writer, and sn & sy are absolutely the best fanfiction i’ve ever read. you’ve made such complex characters with a twisting yet anticipating story. i’ve never cried so much to a story like yours (in the best possible way) and been this excited over a story. i’ve been here reading since chapter 5 (??? i think) of sn and i’m glad i was able to follow you on this journey. i really hope some day we’re able to know how it ends, but in the meantime i hope you’re doing well :) wishing u nothing but the best <3

@kianaisthename said

Saint :)

Just wanted to get emotional and tell you how amazing you are and I hope you get enough rest and clear you head from those stupid hates

Though I really wish supportive messages were more effective and motivating for you to continue the story even under the pressure of work and real life stuff but I do understand that negative words always carry more weight than positive ones and I completely understand your decision =)

Just wanted to tell you I’ve been reading your story since chapter 3 of sn and it might be interesting to know I’m from Iran ( idk if you’ve heard of the country or not ) and your 5 pm here is actually 3/4 am and I would actually put my alarm clock the times you used to tell us the exact hour.

Anyway sn and sy will always be a part of my heart and I do hope and wish to be able to read the rest of it someday.

Thanks for everything and take good care of yourself 💚

Also sorry for my bad English 😂

@kiku28 said

Hello Saint

I hope you are doing well. I know a lot has been happening to you these past couple of months. I can only imagine how hard it’s been on you, emotionally, physically, and mentally. Please do what you have to do for yourself. Take care of yourself first. Take a break, hang out with friends and family, go and live you life. Your writing has really made my day, especially the really difficult ones. So I also want to say thank you for all you do. Please take care of yourself and be well. Go have fun. You don’t have to post this, it is really just for you to know I am cheering you on.

Anonymous said

I'm crying a lot, almost every day I come here to wait for a new chapter of this story, it's been years since I liked a story so much and unfortunately Brazilian gojo stories are boring, I loved this one and I want to cry knowing that I won't be anxious to see it anymore one more chapter. It bothers me a lot knowing that this story was canceled by people who don't know how to separate fiction from reality and appealed to cursing, they didn't understand anything about the story, the development and the side of the characters. Thanks anyway, I will miss you so much. Sorry bad writing...

Anonymous said

idk why some people are so salty about gojo and utahime i feel like i was the only one who was kinda enjoying their relationship?? gojo had been sad for very long (and he kinda deserved it) but now ig it was his time to be a lil happy??? i was also enjoying y/n starting to be jealous and caring for gojo again BUTTTT some people just gotta spoil it all :/

stay strong saint i hope one day you are able to continue sy and fuck all of you because of who this story is being discontinued. some people need to keep their opinions to themselves fr.

@seijju said

Hi, I'd really like to thank you for writing such a masterpiece 🥺 The first work of yours that I've read was "Remember, Forever" and since that, you became my fave writer here in Tumblr. I'm fucking depressed right now because of SY being discontinued, I really wanna boil the heads of your haters and skin them alive. 🙂

Please rest and take your time to relax, you deserve all the best things in the world. Thank you for writing and introducing us to SN/SY, it's literally the best gojo x reader fic I've ever read in my entire life. Love u !! Sending hugs with consent 🥺

(I'm just gonna continue the story in my head... 😭😭😭😭😭)

Anonymous said

as much as i love sincerely yours, it's honestly a relief you're discontinuing it. you deserve to do it. people were starting to take things a little personal and i can't imagine the toll that would have taken. i hope this takes some weight off your shoulders ❤️

at least people can't complain this way anymore. they're free to interpret how the story goes as they wish 🤷‍♀️ if that still isn't enough for them then... lol. like you said, they don't have to suffer through bora bora part 2 again

also, i just wanted to give you a heads up that ohayo-poco is writing a haikyuu fic fairly similar to sincerely not. it's titled "be here". wanted to let you know in case anything was up!

@blkladyelle said

I know we don’t know each other very well and have talked briefly on discord but I’m so glad you’re doing this for you. Saint, you absolutely poured your heart and soul into this and to even think of all the hate and terrible assumptions you were getting unfathomable. I wish there was more I could do to help. And, I think I mentioned this in a comment, if you decide to come back to posting publicly I’ll be so happy to see it.

People who do this to you, or any writer are low lives and I truly hope you didn’t take their words to heart; which is easier said than done. I truly enjoyed how much passion you have when you speak about your stories and the characters that they felt so real! That’s such an amazing power you have! And at the end of the day, it’s fiction, these characters aren’t real despite how much we manifest, and everyone has different ideas and views of characters so if someone’s interpretation of a character isn’t to their liking they can leave it alone!

I truly hope you find some peace, not just on here but in your job as well since it does bring you some stress. You truly don’t deserve any of this and I hope whenever you read this it leaves you feeling good in some way 💜💜

@x-avantgarde-x said

Crying, punching the air, sobbing and throwing up rn.

The kind of things I’d to all those that have made you discontinue this series would put all that Gojo and his dad have done through SN and SY to shame.

I have already said this, but SN and SY will forever be one of my favorite fics on this site and one of those that I’ll hold closest to my heart. I’ve been here since the early days and it’s been one held of a ride getting to know this story and it’s characters and watch them evolve with time. You will forever be one of my most favorite writers here on tumblr, I’ll never get tired of telling you how much I admire you and the way you have to create such realistic stories with such a complex world and well developed and 3 dimensional characters. Your way to make everyone in this series feel like a real human being who I could easily meet on my daily life is one of the things that has made me connect so much with this story, and though I have cursed you over your ability to describe scenarios in a way that it seems like we are the ones living them (because you have made me share too many tears lol) is something that not many authors possess and you, Saint, you do.

Thank you for sharing this story with us. Thank you for letting us be a part of this amazing universe that you have created and for letting us know so many amazing characters and such a humble and wonderful author.

Though I’m sad we won’t get to know the ending to this marvelous fic, I know I will never be able to forget Sincerely not and Sincerely yours and all the emotions it has made me feel. You have a loyal supporter in me and I cannot wait to see what amazing story you bring us next.

Xoxoxo

Anonymous said

i know its hard for you to deal with all the useless hate from karens, but i hope one day you can complete sy. it was truly one of the best fics i've ever read. i hope you take the break you deserve, and until it all calms down focus on yourself < 3

however i will truly respect whatever decision you make even tho it breaks my heart a lil :,)

@evangelith said

People better leave you alone omfg, they really think they’ll do something going the other way and now pressing you to continue, I really wish they had the same energy back when they where rude to you, do they even care about what you really want? They just keep proving they don’t 😭

I’m happy you are prioritizing yourself Saint, and mad people don’t get the point, I wish you lots of love you deserve it 🥺🤍

Anonymous said

saint thank you for all the journey through sn and sy, you're really an amazing writer 😭 so sad that sy will be discontinued, but it's okayyyyy you're condition is the most important than the fic 🤧🤧 i love youu sainttt, OH and i was gonna say how i can read your oikawa racer fic, i really want to read it so bad 🤧 if you wouldn't mind, but it's okay if you want to keep it private 😃👍. TAKE CARE SAINTT i love youuu from heree <3 <3 <3

note: sorry for my bad english, it's not my first language^^

@nanamin-3 said

Hello saint,

I just wanted to say thank you for the amazing stories you have given us. I am so sad that SY had to be discontinued but I really cannot fathom how people are so upset about the characterization of a story’s character that is still not done and have the gall to dictate how the writer should create them.

You made time for us in your already busy and hectic life to write such a rich and amazing story for us and for that I’m so thankful! Your characters felt so real and intricate, and not only with y/n and gojou but also with other characters like Megumi and sera. I remember when I came across first SN, I couldn’t stop reading and loved it so so much and was so excited to see SY. I would look forward coming from work or after having a bad day and reading a chapter in this amazing story because it truly made me feel better reading such an amazing and thought out story.

Thank you so much for giving us such an amazing story, you’re the best! Love youu and take care of yourself! 🫶🏻💕

idek where to begin i’m sooo flooded with love n appreciation right now and i’m very grateful for every single one of u. i mean it with my whole chest �� i’m sorry for the disappointment my decision has caused tho. i understand how it feels especially since sy was left on a cliffhanger gaaaah :< but also, i think it’s the best option i have for now. it warms my heart to know that some of u truly do understand where i’m coming from. thank you for all the support, the kind wishes, the genuine love, and for taking the time to send me a heartfelt message. i’m not leaving just yet so don’t worry guys hahahah <33

#🖤: letters to saint #series: sincerely yours

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graffersid01 · 4 years ago

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5 Actionable Steps to Develop a Successful Software Startup from Scratch

Entrepreneurs allured with the vision of creating a lucrative and successful business. They seek out unique and powerful business models, strategies to mark their footprints in the software landscape. Every innovator looks forward to delivering a productive and bankable product or service. In return contributing to the rapid growth of Software startup all across the globe every year.

Did you know? According to Global Entrepreneurship Monitor’s (GEM) massive statistical research, 137,000 startups are introduced in the market every day with estimated 120,000 startups eliminated each year.

If you follow the statistics, a tech startup’s success rate is one-fourth of what its failure rate is.

I would say, don’t believe the statistics!

If you are passionate enough for your software startup, just understand what it takes to outlive the chances of falling flat. This article will lay light on all the highs and lows, positives and negatives, strategies, and techniques to establish a successful software startup from scratch.

So, let’s begin!

How to build a successful software startup from scratch?

Consider these 5 steps to form an effective trade in this growing industry:

Step 1- Market research

For a software startup to generate profits, you’ll require a market that is prepared for the idea and technology, software that solves the pain points of the clients, and appropriate pricing that the market can afford. A large number of startups fail because of a poor product/service-market fit, hence, making informed choices that get along with the market requirements is very crucial.

Specialists claim that market research is one of the first vital steps while developing a startup.

What if you don’t undergo market research?

Many entrepreneurs are confident enough that they are going to deliver the right services to the market, but fail because of a poor market design strategy.

I am not saying don’t be confident, but follow the crucial steps!

Being confident is the key, but only if you are unlocking the right door. If the market is wrong, your product cannot win hearts and give you conversions.

What are market research types?

While market research has different types, based on the type of business you are targeting. Here are a few market research types-

Primary or secondary market research While primary research is collecting information yourself from various sources. Analyzing current sales volumes, metrics, and customers, secondary market research includes collecting data prepared by third parties like reports and study analysis from other entities from the same niche market.

Online and offline research A blend of both, online and offline research, delivers the most accurate market analysis. Online research gives out information in free and fast whereas offline research provides more in-depth results and access to information sources.

You can also take the help of Surveys, Interviews, Focus groups, and social media according to your budget and time, to ask the audiences what they think of the product/services.

Read Also: 12 Key Considerations Before Setting Up an eCommerce Startup

Step2- Proof of Concept

Although everyone is convinced with their idea and its problem-solving features, creating a proof of concept to analyze and test your idea and see if it can be followed in the real-world is important. Another benefit of proof of concept is, it will help you gather stakeholders’ trust that’ll convince them to invest in your idea. The process of “proof of concept” follows these steps-

1. Demonstrate the Requirement

It’s very important that the software you are investing your energy in, is actually on the customer’s needy list. It’ll be all for nothing if you aren’t sure that the audience needs the software.

2. Outline Pain Points and Gather feedback

Do some brainstorming to map out the pain points and determine how your software stacks up to relieve those pain points. When you are ready with a list of solutions, put those solutions in front of the stakeholders and potential users to know what they think and how they react. They might suggest an additional feature that makes your product/services more valuable.

3. Solution Prototyping

Your following step is to make a model that wraps your solutions into a simple item that you just can utilize to test with those you met already. This model ought to have the anticipated highlight set and UI/UX.

Once the model is built, test it together with your interviewees for extra input. Record their utilization of the item to track how instinctive the interface truly is, and discover it in case you ignore any critical usefulness.

4. Minimum Viable Product Creation

An MVP is a fully functional solution that is different from prototyping. It incorporates the most important highlights that are basic for tackling the essential torment focuses you distinguished. It ought to work on the user’s side rather like the ultimate item.

5. Roadmap Construction

From all of the data you’ve assembled in each of the past steps, make a guide that depicts what you’ve learned and diagrams a prescribed step-by-step handle for building the item. Think of this guide as a set of diagrams for developing a building. With this guide as a direct, everybody will be kept on the same page through item improvement and will have a clear picture of what the conclusion objective is.

Read Also: 5 mistakes a start-up makes when building an MVP

Step 3. Getting Associates and Partners

It is not possible to overestimate the value of collaborators, investors, teammates, co-founders of partners, remote developers, and the likes of a start-up company. You will need the support of others for the staggering success of a start-up venture. You can go easily alone, but together you can go faster.

Forging alliances and collaborations that can help you make the most of your new company or start-up project is important. You might need to find a technical co-founder who can handle the software team and work with them. An entrepreneurship experience can be an emotional rollercoaster trip, but you don’t just want a technical co-founder to be chosen randomly. Do not begin by inviting unknown individuals to be your co-founder of the methodology. Take the time to consider others, recognize them and first make sure the two sides feel happy.

Starting a new startup venture is challenging. Maintaining enough cash in your budget to keep your doors open is no easy feat, from ordering equipment and loading up on inventory to handling payroll and renting an office. But there is one way by which you can accept this challenge with confidence, getting an active investor!

An active investor is knowledgeable of the organization and can be actively engaged in most processes, particularly in areas of the company that includes sales and profitability.

According to the NSBA Economic Report, 27% of small businesses are unable to access adequate funding.

Hence, it is almost difficult to expand your small company without good finance behind you!

Step 4.Offering Easy Entry to Customers

Initially, it’s incredibly difficult to get traction. Most individuals are not chomping at the bit to spend time studying and saving money on new technologies to incorporate it. Create a blueprint on how you can get the first consumers on board. Consider a free offering for trial users, free updates, or a discount cost. For users who put friends aboard, you may even create rewards.

Another way to reduce the entry barrier for a SaaS product is to ensure that you deliver a selection of subscription levels that can cover the needs of all customer classes without asking them to pay for features that they do not require.

You should have a customer success team that monitors the customer’s usage levels, gives them quality notifications and satisfaction reviews. Among other items, invites them to customer-advisory board meetings. The client-success team should also be educated and willing to market.

Read Also: Which is Cheaper: In-House Team or Remote Developers

Step 5. Constant Software Testing and Analysis

The universe travels swiftly. Technology moves, behavioral habits of people change, new variables affect the desires of consumers. Thinking that the product has landed, you can’t afford to get complacent. Still pushing for improvement, keeping an eye on evolving trends. How the product has to react and change as a result. What you don’t calculate, you can’t adjust, so build a daily routine.

If you analyze key metrics, you will know what: features do not resonate with users anymore, new features users require, and features the app needs to keep up with the ecosystems of users. This insight will also help you strengthen your content. You will understand, what is most important to consumers and how they interpret the benefit they get from your product specifically.

Hence, it is necessary to identify tests continuously (whenever possible with A/B testing) and, after making adjustments, track the successful progress.

Read Also: Boost Your Start-Up Cybersecurity with These Powerful Tips

Final Thoughts

There is a lot of stuff you should know if you want to create a software start-up from scratch. Let’s be frank, there is no right road to success for start-ups. Everything I can do is provide you with advice as to what you need. If you aren’t sure about getting started, consult a trusted mobile app development company in India. They will understand your software startup requirement and make sure that you don’t leave any gaps behind.

#startups #entreprenuership #entrepreneurs #successful #software startups #softwarestartupsfromscratch #Developasuccessfulstartups

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dvp95 · 6 years ago

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can’t breathe when you touch my sleeve - chapter 6

pairing: dan howell/phil lester

rating: e (eventually)

warnings: none

tags: alternate universe, slow burn, fluff & humour, tiny bit of inner turmoil wrt sexuality but trust me it’s not that deep, eventual smut, idiots in love

word count: 4,036 for this chapter (25,168 total)

summary: Dan keeps making a fool of himself in interviews, to the point where it’s basically a meme. Now he’s got to sit down for the better part of an hour and sell his show to the YouTuber he’d had a massive crush on when he was a teenager.

read from the beginning on ao3 or on tumblr!

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

Dan has been wearing a line into the carpet of his hotel room, pacing back and forth for what feels like hours. He's muttering to himself, tugging at his hair whenever he gets especially worked up, and only spares a moment to consider what a weird image he makes for anyone who might come in.

"I'm gay," he says out loud, over and over, trying desperately to make it sound like it belongs there.

He rewatches Phil's coming out video a few times to remind himself how easy and happy Phil made it sound, but he can't seem to recreate that energy alone in his room.

No matter how many times Dan says it, the word 'gay' still makes his heart race and his gut clench like he's gone over the drop of a rollercoaster. His pulse pounds in his ears when he imagines saying it to another person, someone he cares about, someone who might hate him for it.

It's just a word. It's just a word, and it's basically who he is. It shouldn't be this hard to say.

His phone goes off with a Twitter notification, but he can't handle that right now. He turns his phone off without reading the message from Phil and keeps pacing.

"How did you deal with this for like twenty years?" Jaime complains, watching the rain fall almost horizontally outside the window.

"I didn't live here," says Dan. He steals some of her chips while she isn't looking.

"London wasn't much better."

They're holed up in one of the numerous tiny pubs in Dublin while they wait for Patrick to finish a solo interview and photoshoot. Dan likes it here, liked it in Edinburgh too, but he's been more or less working on autopilot. His mind is in a dog park in Soho, where Phil has been sending pictures from all afternoon. Pictures that he hasn't responded to.

"I like London," Dan says absently. He pretends not to understand the knowing look Jaime sends him. "What?"

"Sure, you liiiiike London," she teases, smacking his hand away from her plate.

"I do!" Dan huffs. "I always wanted to live in London when I was a teenager. It was, like, the dream. And I think it's probably still where I'll be ending up eventually."

"And a cute guy with a cuter dog has absolutely nothing to do with that?" Jaime asks, sipping at her beer.

Dan feels his stomach twist. It's not pleasant, having someone assume something about you, even if that thing is true. He looks down at his own hands and shrugs. "No, I mean. I'd want London anyway. I just kind of want it... more, now."

"You never actually answered my drunk texts. How long have you been together?"

"We aren't together, James," says Dan. His throat is tight with suppressed emotion. This is the first time he has spoken out loud about his attraction to a guy to someone that matters to him. It's fucking terrifying. "I - I like him, though."

"I can tell," says Jaime. She kicks at his shin under the table and smiles when he gives her a reproachful look. "Don't call me James, or I'll call you Dan."

With a snort, Dan steals more of her chips. "Fine."

They eat in a fairly comfortable silence for a few minutes, both of their plates acting more like communal food, and Dan almost thinks he'll be able to get away with the topic being dropped.

"He likes you too, y'know," Jaime says, bursting that hope. "In case you couldn't tell that he eyefucks you constantly."

Dan feels his face heat up and resists the urge to throw something at her. The server in this very Irish pub has been nice to them so far, but causing a scene as a Brit and a Yank doesn't sound like the best plan. "Shut up."

"I'm serious, Daniel," she laughs. "You really can't tell?"

"No," Dan says, affecting an annoyed sort of sigh. "I mean, yeah, no, I can definitely tell that he would be up for it if I asked."

"Why haven't you asked, then?"

He could tell her any number of half-truths, and she'd accept them as whole answers. Not wanting to fuck up their immediate connection, the whole ocean between them thing, or any other justification he's been muttering to himself while he paces around his hotel rooms.

The thing is, though, that Dan trusts Jaime. She's never told anyone any of the stupid shit he does when it's just them. Neither has Patrick, for that matter, but he's not here right now. And Dan doesn't think he can say this twice.

"Because," he says, swallowing hard and looking at the table. "Nobody knows I like boys. I don't even like to think about it too much, usually."

Dan can practically hear his heart pounding. He jumps a bit when Jaime's small, dark hand covers one of his, and she gives it a reassuring squeeze. "Hey," she says quietly. "I didn't mean to push."

"You're fine," Dan says, and he means it. "I kind of need to think about it now, anyway."

"Because of Phil?" Jaime asks. When he nods and looks back up at her, she smiles. "You seem good together. I've never seen you look so happy, Daniel."

"I don't think I've ever been this happy," Dan admits. His palms are sweating. "And I know I haven't, like, known him that long or whatever, but. Did you know I used to be a fan of his back in the day? He was kind of a role model for teenage Daniel. If I'd have known he was gay back then... I don't know. Maybe I'd have been able to admit that about myself, too."

The label doesn't actually leave Dan's lips, not applied to himself, but he still feels like he's got hundreds of eyes on him. It's just Jaime's, though, big and dark and kind, and he tries to breathe through it.

"That's a very brave thing to tell me," says Jaime.

"Sorry," Dan says, nonsensically.

Jaime laughs, a trill of a noise that makes the dim, rainy day feel brighter. "Oh, you're dumb dumb."

"Only sometimes," says Dan. He's fighting a losing battle with a grin.

"Do you want to be with Phil?" she asks, so blunt about it that Dan is at a loss for words.

He pulls his hand away from hers to play around with his phone, a nervous habit he's never really been able to kick. "I mean, yeah. I do. But it's really not that simple."

With a little hum, Jaime rests her chin on one of her palms. She's beautiful in a way Dan can appreciate beautiful art, beautiful clothing; she's not beautiful the way he finds Phil beautiful, the way he's found men beautiful for years and tried so hard to push away.

"I guess not, but I also know you pretty well by now, Howell," says Jaime. "You've never met a problem you can't twist into something worse."

A little rude. But very true.

"What do you suggest, then?" Dan snarks. "Tell the world I'm - and deal with the consequences of that? People back in Georgia already hate me for so much other shit, I doubt this will make it any fucking better."

"I suggest just being honest with yourself," says Jaime, ignoring the rest of his mini strop.

Being honest with himself is not something Dan has made a habit of doing. And he probably could live the rest of his life pushing this aside, stamping it down, lying through his teeth to the people around him, but. It sounds like a pretty shit way to live, if Dan is going to try the honesty thing right now.

He remembers how it felt to be leaning into Phil's space in the big hotel bed, remembers the way Phil had smiled at him every time he pulled Thor into a cuddle, remembers the deliberate circles Phil had traced on the back of his neck when they said goodbye at his flat.

That's something he wants. Dan is craving that, the intimacy and familiarity of it that he knows he'll never fully be able to feel with any nice, beautiful girls like Jaime.

He could probably do it, anyway. Meet a woman. Marry her. Have the kids he's always wanted. Maybe he'll even find someone who doesn't mind adopting so he doesn't have to live in fear of his child getting his fucked up genes. If he's very, very lucky, he might even find someone who doesn't mind this thing he's been keeping a lid on since he hit puberty.

The fear that strikes in Dan's heart as he imagines exactly what it would be like to keep living like this is what decides it for him.

"I don't want to," Dan starts, then stops. He has to think about his words and not just respond to his inner thoughts like a weirdo. "I mean... I don't want to lie. It's really, really exhausting. I just didn't have a good enough reason not to."

"So what are you gonna do?" Jaime hums.

"What d'you mean?"

"Are you going to come out, like, to the general public?" Jaime asks, and Dan appreciates the nonchalance of her tone. "Or just me and Phil?"

"I don't know," says Dan. "I think I'd tell Patrick, too."

Jaime smiles and pats his hand. "Oh, darlin', he was in that room, too. I think he has an inkling."

"I can't tell other people until I tell my family," Dan says like she hasn't interrupted. "It just wouldn't be right, y'know, them finding out because a friend of a friend saw a piece in The Sun about how much I like sucking cock."

A cackle is startled out of Jaime, and she covers her mouth with both hands. "Daniel!"

"What?" Dan does his best to look innocent, but he's cracking into a shit-eating grin before he can stop it. "That's what would happen!"

"Horrible boy," she says.

"I didn't do anything."

"Please don't come out to your parents by telling them you like dick," says Jaime.

Dan shudders. "Ugh. Can we never talk about my parents and dick in the same sentence again? Thanks ever so."

"You started it!"

They're still bickering when Patrick finally joins them, sliding into the booth beside Jaime and knocking his long legs against Dan's in greeting. "Did y'all eat already?"

"Yeah, you want something?" Jaime asks, handing over the menu they'd kept for him.

While Patrick looks it over, his fingers idly tapping against the thick wood of the table, Dan steels his nerves. He knows he doesn't need to do this, he's got no obligation, but he also knows that this is a safe environment and he might never do it if he procrastinates much longer.

"Shepherd's pie sounds good," says Patrick.

"I'm gay," says Dan.

"Okay," says Patrick, not looking up. "Or maybe a curry? D'you think it's good curry here?"

Dan blinks. "I said, I'm gay."

"And I said okay." Patrick looks at him then, raising his eyebrows. "Did you want me to scream or something? It's not like it's a big deal."

It's a big deal to Dan. It's a really big deal. But he's touched by Patrick and Jaime's easy acceptance anyway, trying his best not to get emotional in the middle of the pub. He wants to explain himself, wants to say that he's never said those words to someone before, wants to cry and hug them both so tightly because they're his friends and he cares about them, but that would be overdramatic even for him.

"Thanks," he says instead, his voice thick with suppressed emotion. "The curry sounds good, mate."

"It does," Patrick agrees, and that's the end of that.

As if he knows that Dan has been having his videos on for four nights straight, falling asleep to his voice and waking up twelve autoplayed videos later, Phil uploads a new video that night.

Dan is pretending like he's going to sleep, all the lights off and his laptop away and everything, because he's got breakfast radio in the very early hours of the morning and he wants to at least try to be a functional human during it. But then he gets a notification for Phil's new video while he scrolls through Reddit, and he clicks on it without a second thought.

"Hi guys," the Phil on Dan's phone says, grinning and waving. Dan's breath catches, just a bit.

That's the outfit Phil was wearing when Dan came over and watched MasterChef with him. He was in Phil's flat during the filming of the last couple of minutes.

Logically, he knows that he's been in Phil's home, that he's been behind the scenes of AmazingPhil in a way that he never would have dreamed he'd be able to. It still fucking rattles him, though. He pays more attention to the jump cuts in the video - where, most likely, Thor had been bugging for attention - and desperately wishes he could remember which one was for Dan, which slice of unused footage was Phil telling him he wanted Chinese food.

"So I guess I won't be going back to Seven Dials for a while," says Phil, wrapping up yet another story that Dan forgot to pay attention to. He starts doing his outro, tells people to subscribe and all that jazz, says goodbye, rolls that beautiful Thor footage.

There's still a minute left on the video. Dan thinks he knows why.

Sure enough, after a beat of a black screen, Phil has included a blooper montage of all the times Thor interrupted his story. It's adorable, watching Phil get tongue tied and giggly while Thor licks at his face or does the zoomies around the room. Dan's heart feels full to burst at how badly he wants to be there again.

Will Phil include it? Dan's breath is caught in his throat as he waits, watching Phil's face so carefully to see what it does when - if - he says Dan's name.

Phil's lips curl into a different sort of smile than the one he'd been giving Thor. This one is warm in a way that makes Dan's pulse pick up speed, even seeing it on such a small screen. Finally, finally, Phil says, "Dan. Are you growling at Thor?"

He sounds like he's trying to be stern, but he can't quite accomplish it with that smile of his.

Then, Dan's own voice comes through. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" Phil's smile grows, gives him deep crinkles around his eyes. He looks so fucking fond. Dan doesn't think it's all for Thor. "I'm literally filming right now."

Dan whines, "He's just so cute," and then the video ends for real. Phil is smiling off-camera so genuinely, but autoplay is already suggesting another AmazingPhil video for Dan. With a resigned sort of sigh, he lets it play.

For about two weeks now, Dan has been figuring that, while Phil is a flirtatious guy who most likely wouldn't say no to a roll in the sheets, he doesn't actually have feelings for Dan or anything crazy like that. How could he, when they've known each other for such a short amount of time? How does Dan have all these feelings already?

But the way that Phil smiled when he was talking to Dan, and Dan wasn't looking back at him, is making Dan's head spin.

Fuck. He's got a lot to think about.

If people keep telling Dan he looks tired, he's going to snap.

He didn't get any sleep at all, really, his mind in fucking overdrive all night as he tipped over the box in his mind and let it all wash over him at once. He doesn't feel better, not yet, still exhausted and anxious and really, desperately not wanting to be sat in a radio station with his costars.

Unlike the BBC Radio One interview, this one is live on breakfast radio. Dan is trying not to think about that too much, or he's going to have back sweat all over his favourite shirt.

The shirt still smells like Phil.

It's distracting.

Dan hasn't responded to the Thor photos that Phil sent him yesterday or this morning, too wrapped up in his own brain as he's been. He hopes that Phil won't be offended, because - well, Dan isn't the best texter in general, he might as well get used to bouts of silence.

His leg is bouncing as Jaime establishes a rapport with the radio host, whose name Dan has been told at least a dozen times. Gun to his head, he could not recall it now.

He's too busy thinking about Phil. And maybe that's a mistake, unprofessional at the very least, but Dan can't help it. He can smell the faintest hint of Phil's cologne when he puts the collar of his t-shirt over his nose and his hands keep twitching, remembering what it felt like to be held by Phil's.

Mind completely full of Phil and lack of sleep, Dan can't really be blamed for not paying attention to his surroundings.

This is his excuse, anyway, when the radio host introduces himself again for the audience - in one ear and out the fucking other for Dan - and Dan's response, after Patrick and Jaime have said their names, is to say, "Hi, I'm Phil."

There's a beat of complete silence before Jaime breaks it, honking into her microphone and covering her mouth. Dan's brain catches up with his mouth, then, and he feels himself turn brick red.

"Daniel's been up all night," Patrick says dryly. "Apparently, he had to get three stars on Rainbow Road."

The idea that Dan didn't already have three stars on Rainbow Road is offensive, but he takes the life vest Patrick is throwing him. "Hah, yeah, sorry. I'm Daniel, and hopefully that'll be the most embarrassing thing I do today. I have a bit of a knack for it, if you didn't know."

Dan already knows he'll be clowned for this one for a while, judging by the sheer glee on Jaime's face, but he's determined to make it through the rest of the interview without forgetting his own name again.

Sure enough, they've barely said their goodbyes to the host and left the studio when Jaime crows, "'Hi, I'm Phil'? Holy shit, Howell!"

"I'm going to take a walk off a very short pier. 'Scuse me."

"It's not the worst thing you've ever done," says Patrick. His lips are twitching with either amusement or disapproval. Dan is guessing it's the former. "I mean, it's up there. But you've done way worse. Like do you remember the time -"

"That's not actually helpful," Dan says.

"Sorry, Phil," says Patrick.

Dan reaches for his throat with both hands and Patrick ducks out of the door with a bright laugh.

He's reluctant to check his phone the rest of the morning, because he can only imagine the cyberbullying he's going to endure from his fans over that slip of the tongue. Especially if they've already figured out that he was the 'Dan' at the end of Phil's video. Most people might not make the connection, since nobody really calls him that, but Dan has tweeted about Phil's videos and Phil has posted photos of them with Thor, so. It wouldn't take a fucking detective.

Once Dan's phone starts ringing with a call, though, he kind of has to deal with it. He's playing Guild Wars, so he puts the phone on speaker as quickly as possible. Only two people call him, so he doesn't even bother taking his eyes off the raid to look at the caller ID.

"Hullo?"

"Hi," Phil's voice comes through the tinny speaker. He sounds like he's already on the verge of laughter, and Dan considers hanging up.

Still, he's glad it's Phil calling and not his agent. Amy can be very intimidating, even all the way from Los Angeles, and he can't imagine that she's going to be thrilled about all the fuckups he's had on this leg of the tour.

Dan sighs loud enough to be heard through the phone. "Hello, Phil."

"Oh, am I Phil? I thought you were Phil!"

"Very funny."

"Or are we all Phil?"

The bright chirp of Phil's voice makes Dan smile despite himself. He narrowly avoids getting murked in the game because he's too fucking busy mooning over a boy. Christ.

"Are we human or are we Phil?" Dan asks, overly dry in case his smile shines through the way Phil's is.

Phil giggles. That's quickly becoming one of Dan's favourite sounds. He can practically picture the tongue between the teeth. "You big dork. How did that even happen? Like, walk me through your thought process."

"Isn't it abundantly fucking clear that I didn't have a thought process?" Dan whines.

"I was just wondering if you had some kind of explanation," says Phil. He still sounds far too amused. Dan wants to be annoyed about it, but he can't even pretend like a happy Phil is something he doesn't want. "Because you've done a lot of stupid shit in interviews, Dan, but you've never forgotten your own name before."

"Thanks," says Dan.

"Oh, you know what I mean," says Phil.

Dan shrugs even though he's well aware Phil can't see him. "I dunno, I didn't really sleep last night, and then being in a radio station made me think about you."

That's definitely a half-truth. Dan hasn't stopped thinking about Phil for almost two weeks now.

He'd been hoping maybe some distance would help. Weekend in Edinburgh, couple nights in Dublin. Perfect to get his head on straight - or, not straight, as it happens - and start separating his feelings for Phil from the all-consuming endorphins of fast friendship.

If anything, though, being physically away from Phil has only drawn attention to how badly Dan wants him to be there. Hearing Phil's voice when they're on different islands is just solidifying those feelings into something not easily removed in Dan's chest.

"You were thinking about me?" Phil asks, and he sounds so warm, even as he's making fun of Dan.

God. Dan wants to be there. He wants to see the way Phil's eyes crinkle with his smile, wants to feel the weight of Phil's cool hand in his own.

They've still got another night in Dublin before they can head back, but. There's only one more interview, surely nobody will miss his awkward presence that much?

Dan checks the time as soon as he finishes his raid. It's barely noon. He bites his lip. The whole day is still ahead of him.

Is he really thinking about doing this?

"Maybe," he says. "Hold on, I need to - do something. I'll text you. Like, I'll actually text you."

"Okay," Phil agrees, sounding a bit bewildered but still just as cheerful.

"I promise that I'll text you," Dan says. He's really, really bad at texting people back at the best of times, let alone when he's in the midst of a proper existential crisis, but he'll have a lot of time with nothing but his phone when he's - hopefully - sat at the airport.

"Okay," Phil says again, even warmer.

It would take no effort at all for Dan to get lost in that voice, but he's a man on a mission. Provided that Jaime and Patrick are okay with it, he's going to skive off tomorrow's interview and head back to London early.

He won't even try to pretend it isn't for Phil. He's got to ride this deep-seated certainty as far as it'll take him. And it isn't going to be like a movie, he isn't rushing off to the airport to catch his one true love or anything like that, he just. Misses Phil. Wants to be with Phil. Maybe he'll kiss Phil, but that's as rom-com as he plans to get.

"I'll see you soon," says Dan. "I have to ask Jaime and Patrick something."

#phanfic #phanfiction #phan #dnp fic #can't breathe when you touch my sleeve #words words words

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roseonhissleeve · 8 years ago

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Post Ticket Sale Self-Care Masterlist

To all of those of you who have managed to purchase tickets: CONGRATULATIONS! I have so much happiness for you and your opportunity to see our boy in person. Now, it’s been an absolute emotional rollercoaster these past 24 hours, so please, please please please: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!

By all means, celebrate. Hoot and holler. Dance in your room in your underwear. Blast some Sign of the Times and air band the fuck outta the jam (I personally know the drum part like the back of my hand). Post to your Facebook about how thrilled you are.

But afterwards, please give your body some time to relax and recuperate from all the adrenaline. Your body loves you and has held you together during this hell of a ride, and it’s time to care for it as well. Please scroll down to see a list of more self care tips and helpful websites. x

To all of you who did NOT get ahold of any tickets: I’m really, really, really, so very sorry, my love. It’s absolutely devastating to miss out on this opportunity, and you’re absolutely 100% validated in feeling angry, upset, or any other emotions that you need to feel right now. Please remember that your ability to see him live does not in any way affect your value as a person or a fan. It was a real ass-kicker, this one, and the chances were low for all of us. Our boy really loves us a lot, and that doesn’t change if you couldn’t buy a ticket. Please, please, PLEASE take care of yourself, my dear. Here are some tips and things you can do to care for yourself today:

Take a bubble bath.

Go for a long drive.

Listen to music. Listen to something other than Harry, if you need to.

Call/talk to a friend.

Buy yourself a treat from the grocery store (or any store)!

Go see a movie.

Buy yourself that book that you’ve been wanting to read for a little while.

Light a candle.

Write. Write out all your feelings, every single thought, until you cannot write anymore. It helps to write it out physically so that it’s tangible. After you’ve written everything down, do whatever you need to do to rid yourself of it, whether it be burying it, crumpling it up and throwing it out, or giving it to someone you trust who is understanding and loves you.

Give a stranger a smile.

Go for a long walk.

Go to the gym.

DRINK SOME WATER. I MEAN IT. RIGHT NOW. BEFORE YOU KEEP READING.

Eat something, please.

Read your favorite fanfiction (again, if what you need is to distance yourself from H, might not be the best option)

DON’T FEEL GUILTY FROM NEEDING TO GIVE YOURSELF SOME DISTANCE. We all do sometimes, and your health comes before anything else. Log off of Tumblr, stop checking your Twitter for updates, maybe turn off your notifications. We will all be here when you return, but your health comes first.

Bake!

Treat yourself to a meal at your favorite restaurant.

Treat yourself to a meal at the cheapest restaurant. For me, there’s very little that a large fries from McDonald’s can’t fix.

Buy yourself something cute online.

Take a nap.

DANCE.

Reread your favorite book.

Watch your favorite movie.

Watch your favorite Netflix show.

Talk to someone. Anyone. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, my ask and messages are ALWAYS open.

Here are a few more resources:

Self care websites masterpost:

https://changeforhappiness.tumblr.com/post/159476432769/guys-this-is-very-important

Self care masterposts:

http://thegrangersapprentice.tumblr.com/post/159612539530/all-things-pertaining-to-self-carede-stressing

http://catladykhaleesi.tumblr.com/post/157471955395/self-care-masterpost

http://little-red-studies.tumblr.com/post/147555847368/self-care-is-one-of-the-most-important-things

Mental health apps:

http://recoverywarriorx.tumblr.com/post/90481616356/mental-illness-apps-one-reblog-could-help-or-even

Alternatives to self harm:

https://especialty.tumblr.com/post/150042977232/alternatives-to-self-harm

Now I don’t usually ask of this, but please, if this post comes across your dash, reblog it. You don’t know which of your followers could need it.

Take care of each other, take care of yourselves. Much love. x

#self care #self care post #self care masterlist #harry styles #harry styles concert #harry styles tour #harry styles world tour #one direction

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hyunjins-bebe-blog · 7 years ago

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Primadonna Girl - K.W.J. AU

You were a model reaching the peak of your career, when your darling daddy just announced that you’re getting married to Kim Woojin, the heir of his best friend’s company.

Genre: Businessman!AU/Fluff/Some light Angst

Pairing: Woojin x Female Reader

A/N: ahh! This chapter is so emotional guys, like, it’s a rollercoaster. Anyways, there’s a special mention in this one! Guess who mehehehe :> thanks 4 reading luv u mwa

Word Count: 1209

Chapter 8/10

I thought I got this guy fired already?

You groan and prepared yourself to take the call, Woojin watching you as he began setting the dining table.

“Hello?” you say into the phone, annoyed that he was still calling you.

“Uh hey, I just wanted to say sorry for the thing earlier, so I got you another shoot.”

“You what?!” you were screaming again, unbelieving in the nonsense this person was spouting at you. Woojin approached you from behind, hugging your waist.

You stiffened for a moment the relaxed, melting completely into his embrace. You leaned back on his chest and waited for Rafael to explain himself.

“Since you didn’t like the coat thing earlier, I got you a shoot with this soda brand that’s starting out, they’re releasing this cherry cola drink called ‘Ruby Heist’ and-,”

“What the hell?!” Woojin jumped from the tone of your voice and stepped back a bit, moving his hands to massage your shoulders, getting the feeling that he’ll turn deaf if he continues to hug you.

“Look, Rafael, I don’t know where you were picked up from, but do you seriously think that you’re entitled to do this fucking much? As far as I’m concerned, I already got you fired the minute I hung up on you-,”

“About that-,”

“Shut up! I’m still talking!” you were enraged now. Whoever this Rafael was, he was going on a suicide attempt.

“If it isn’t clear enough, you’re fucking fired. Don’t go saying I can’t fire you because it was Jonathan who interviewed you, but you’re working for me, understand? You’re fired! F-I-R-E-D fired! I don’t know how many times I’ll have to say it to get it through your thick skull, but remember this. This is the last time you’ll get hired as an assistant. I’m blacklisting you. Goodbye.” You hung up, feeling the tears coming up.

You burrow your face into your hands, releasing the pent up frustration you had. Woojin pulled you into his arms as you cried, rocking you back and forth. You don’t know how it happened, but you were now sitting on top of your kitchen island, Woojin wiping away your tears. Just last night you were in this position, but somehow, you were more comfortable with him. You don’t know how it happened. It’s not like you spent all night last night talking to Woojin about aimless things, it’s just that his presence is so calming, making it impossible for anyone to feel awkward with him.

“You wanna talk about it?” he asks, cupping your cheeks.

You let out a sniffle, fumbling over your words. “I-It’s that gu-guy again from earlier, h-he called me telling me th-that he booked a shoot for a s-soda brand, and I don’t even like soda!” you let your tears fall into the palm of his hands, as he pulls you in for another hug.

“And it’s l-like he’s under-valuing me, b-booking shoots for small c-companies, like I haven’t been working my ass off for eight years!”

Woojin listens to you rant, rubbing circles on your back. He grabs his phone out of his back pocket and begins writing an email to your dad’s secretary, Jonathan. You sob into his shoulder as he finishes off his email, telling him to send him the list of people who wants to work for you, that he’ll be the one who’ll check all their resumes.

After you calm down from your little outburst, Woojin smiles brightly at you and squeezes your cheeks, making a remark about how puffy your face became, before leading you over to the dining table, where the chicken awaits.

Sniffling, you grab a chicken leg and bite into it, slowly feeling happy, from Woojin making silly daces at you across the table and because of the chicken. Soon enough, you were laughing, eating with him happily.

...

That night, you were in the study with Woojin, looking at the people who wanted to work for you. You learned that he asked for this list, and you were content with him picking out your new assistant. From that list, you stumble upon that name again. Daniel.

“Hey, can you look at this guy’s resume? I’ve managed to see his work ethics before, and it looked really good.” You say, leaning over his shoulder to see the laptop screen better.

“Kang Daniel,” he mutters. You peer over to see his birth date.

“Ooh! He’s a Sagittarius!” you say, even more interested in this person.

Woojin narrows his eyes, “Says here that he studied in Canada, and his ideal type is someone older than him?” He turns to you, wondering why you would deem it necessary to have ideal types in a resume.

You rolled your eyes, “I need to know if they’ll like me romantically or not. After my fourth assistant, I would very much like that situation not to happen ever again.”

Back when you were eighteen, your fourth assistant was this maniac who would peep on you when you were changing for shoots. Good thing Mark caught him, and his reasoning for this was that you fit into his ideal type, it’s not like it’s his fault.

Once Woojin heard of this story, he rolled his eyes, impressing you, since it was kind of better than yours.

Finished reading through his resume, you and Woojin open up your email to send one to him, informing him that he has been chosen for this position. While scrolling through the different emails you received- some informing you of sales at tempura houses, one from the Rafael guy begging you to take him back, the rest of it being notifications from your Instagram page, your eyes catch something interesting.

Without a word, you pointed to it, and the cursor followed your finger, clicking on the email. You let out a high pitch noise as you read who it’s from:

Diamants Précieux

This was the agency you’ve been waiting for you entire career!

We would like to partner up with you for a photo shoot in Haedong Yonggungsa, in Busan, Korea. We’re currently within the vicinity, and have heard of you through different casting agencies.

“Oh my god!” you jumped up and down, screaming- this time out of happiness.

Woojin continued reading the email. “Says here that the shoot is scheduled tomorrow evening then the morning after, and your presence is highly appreciated.”

“Yes! Tell them yes! Oh my god!”

Woojin scrunched up his eyebrows, replying to the email, at the same time wondering what’ll happen, because your wedding was in five days.

“There, I sent it, but how about the wedding?” he turns to you, and you stop dancing, to look at him for a brief second.

“Don’t worry; I’m sure your mom already has contacted venues and caterers. I’ll just be gone for two days, so you can go and rest or do some CEO stuff or whatever,” you say, hugging him tightly. He hugged back just as tight, but the moment only lasted for a second, as you flee the study, shouting that you need to pack.

He chuckled softly, turning back to the computer screen, booking two flights for Busan, Korea. Looks like he’ll need to pack for this trip as well.

Chapter 9/10

Masterlist

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