#now back to hibernation/hiatus mode

[icehearts]

9 Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better

coughs up blood. hi.

tagged by @primamchorus / @sealrock / @felinewanderer -- thank you lovelies! tagging: I am doing this so late, but if you see this, then please consider yourself tagged if you feel so inclined!

three ships I like: Clive/Jill (FFXVI), Edgar/Terra (FFVI which I'm playing for the first time. get a load of this fake FF fan, right?), Nyx/Lunafreya (FFXV Kingsglaive. I CAN EXPLAIN.) too shy to tag but i'm also fond of hankiyo, tunasan, prompto/primam, sidalia and thesca. :'))) first ship ever: Duo/Heero from Gundam Wing was my first ship as a baby fujo. :') last song you heard: Downside Ballad. (Pyre OST) favourite childhood book: Sophie's World. currently reading: This Is How You Lose the Time War. currently watching: a friend streaming a Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance playthrough! currently consuming: lime seltzer water. yay fruit-flavored tv static! currently craving: I am actually craving tex-mex something fierce.

[incorrect-jojolands-quotes]

People theorized Paco's one year hiatus as him being a rock human in hibernation or taking Barbara Ann's suggestion that he was in jail for theft, or he was simply on a different year-long adventure involving a crime spree.

My theory? Paco was gone for a year because he was actually hiding from his abusive father.

(trigger warning as I discuss child abuse and abuse regarding food)

My headcanon is that Paco dealt with abuse from his father for his entire childhood. He's tried to escape and find help but he was failed too many times by the adults in his life. Him getting his ear bitten off ended up being a turning point, because it was around the time he met Meryl Mei. We know she's a beloved principal and, as a school employee, is a mandated reporter. Whether Meryl Mei genuinely wanted to help Paco out or see him as a potential underling that can be manipulated is up to interpretation, but she used her resources to finally get Paco's dad arrested and imprisoned.

I don't see Paco's dad as someone who would willingly plead guilty and go off quietly. I don't think he'd hesitate to drag the trial for as long as possible, encourage his lawyers to intimidate and invalidate Paco's experiences in court, and possibly hire people to attack Paco outside of court. Even with Meryl Mei's resources to protect Paco and provide what he needs to fight against his father, the whole process for a child like Paco is mentally and emotionally exhausting. Hearings and meetings with social workers or legal counsel involve occuring when he should be in school, being forced to relive your abuse on trial and be cross examined for it sometimes back to back, going into hiding for fear of retaliation because even the police and witness protection may not be enough, and the fact that everyone eventually catches on that your dad is on trial because of you means school is put on the back burner. Paco tried to keep up with his studies at first, but he ultimately halted them as the trial takes a toll on his overall well-being.

To add, the stress of it all could explain how he was formerly chubby and then leaner so rapidly. We don't know exactly why he started out chubby before being very shredded, although there is a correlation between those who experienced childhood trauma and those who develop unhealthy eating habits that lead to obesity. It's possible Paco used food as a coping mechanism growing up or intentionally fattened himself as part of his survival. Food could have also been used against him by his father as well, either by forcing Paco to gain weight or withholding food as punishment. In terms of the latter, it could explain how Paco developed his kleptomaniac tendencies and his chubbiness could be due to him constantly stealing what he can to get his next meal and eating anything he can in fear of not knowing where his next meal will be.

Long story short, Paco's dad is now in prison for crimes of child abuse among other things and it will be a while before any chance of him getting out will happen. By now, Paco is a legal adult and therefore no longer forced to be under any guardianship but he no longer has to look over his shoulder like before. Although he had to be held back, he can return to school safely to finish his education under Meryl Mei and he prefers to keep his experience under wraps for the time being. Out of gratitude and feeling indebt to her, Paco became a loyal lackey and ended up working with Jodio and Dragona shortly after. I personally think he lost some weight due to stress caused by the situation, and continued to lose weight afterwards because he finally could relax and get better access to food among other things. Paco took the opportunity to start focusing on his wellbeing now that he's no longer on survival mode, being able to maintain a healthier diet and lose weight more sustainably, and it further motivated him to get the ripped muscles he has now.

Unfortunately, with how things timed out, his ear couldn't be reattached. Whether Paco is saving up for his ear to be improved or sees it as a symbol of his survival is up to you.

What do y'all think? I'd like to hear your own headcanons about Paco too.

[silenthowlsstuff]

Aizawa Cares Pt. 27 (MHA Fanfic)

Hello, and welcome back to another chapter!! This week is Tsuyu, who was interesting to write. And it's a short chapter this time, only because I kinda just lost my creative juices, but I'd already committed to the chapter so I kept going? So for that, I apologize if the quality is lacking.

Either way, I hope you all enjoy! Thanks for reading!

Out of all the students in his class this year, Aizawa found that Asui was the quietest one. He didn’t mean ‘quiet shy’ like Koda, or ‘quiet trauma’ like Todoroki; instead, the girl was often ‘quiet thoughtful’, thinking over her words rather than just blurting them out like her classmates were seldom to do. This made Asui appear wise for her age, but Aizawa just had a feeling that it was because Asui didn’t want to have to repeat herself if she got spoken over. Which Aizawa understood quite well; he too, wasn’t fond of repeating himself, which was why he had long perfected the glare that brought about immediate silence.

But sometimes Asui got too quiet, so much so that she faded into the background entirely. These days, Aizawa noticed how the girl would still hang around her friends, but would be much more withdrawn, letting them do all the talking and whatnot. Aizawa didn’t know if her friends were aware of this or not, but that wasn’t his business. Asui would also refrain from speaking in class, even if he called upon her; the look he was often given by the girl was enough to have him turn to another student to ask the same question.

Sometimes the kids just had off days, and forcing them to participate instead of letting them back away was just a recipe for disaster—Aizawa had learnt that the hard way at the start of the year when he’d tried to push a very recluse Jiro into participating, resulting in the poor girl nearly deafening the entire class.

Aizawa had learnt.

Winter was the worst for it, he found; the cold already making Asui lethargic and difficult to engage with, with even those closest to her struggling to do much else than drag a tired greeting out of the girl. So, to throw that quietness on top of Asui’s hibernation mode, it left Aizawa feeling just a little more than worried for his student whenever colder weather came around. But every time it came, Asui managed to come through to the other side.

Until now.

This winter had been a bad one, so bad that Asui had literally gone into hibernation after valiantly dragging herself to class. Aizawa had let her stay, before sending her back to the dorms with Todoroki and Bakugo—the two boys more than capable of generating enough body heat to keep Asui walking—to stay until warmer weather. It wasn’t an ideal solution, but Aizawa had always told his students that their health came first, and thus, Asui was considered to be on a medical hiatus from school.

But now it was spring, the cold still lingering, but effectively being chased away by warmer weather. Everyone was starting to shed the thick coats that they’d needed to wear nearly every day, even inside the classrooms when the heating blew from overuse.

Yet Asui still hadn’t returned to class.

Aizawa didn’t know how long the girl’s hibernation mode lasted once the cold weather passed, but he had a feeling that it wasn’t supposed to be this long. And judging from the worried looks her friends threw at her empty seat, they didn’t think it was normal either.

“Uraraka, can I talk to you for a moment.” Aizawa called out into the room as his students were packing up and getting ready to leave.

Uraraka jumped at being addressed so suddenly, clearly not expecting her teacher to speak to her. But the girl nodded and came up to stand before him. “Is something the matter, Aizawa-sensei?”

“I was just wondering if you’d spoken to Asui recently?” Aizawa asked.

Immediately, Uraraka’s face fell, and his student began to worry her bottom lip between her teeth. “I haven’t… we’ve been trying too though! But Asui never answers her door, and whenever we send her a text, she either ignores it or doesn’t respond for hours. Jiro and Shoji say she seems fine, but for some reason, she just isn’t coming to school.” Uraraka froze, and then frantically waved her hands. “Not that I’m saying Asui doesn’t want to come to class, but maybe she has a really good reason why she isn’t? Could her hibernation be affecting her still?”

Aizawa raised a hand to stop Uraraka before the girl threw another twenty questions at him. “I’m not sure. But thank you for letting me know. I’ll swing by the dorms after school and see if I can’t talk to her.”

“Okay, sensei.” Uraraka paused for a moment. “Thank you, sensei. We’re all really worried about her.”

Aizawa let his expression soften and rested a hand on Uraraka’s shoulder. “You’re a good friend, Uraraka. I’m sure Asui knows that.”

The fifth floor of the dorms was silent as Aizawa walked down the hall towards Asui’s room. The only other female on this floor was Yaoyorozu, and he’d seen the girl in a study session with her friends on his way to the dorms, so there was no one else except for the student he was looking for. Aizawa paused outside of Asui’s room, listening carefully for any signs of life coming from inside. But just like the silent hallway, there was nothing to indicate that his student was even inside. Which had Aizawa a little worried. Even in the dead of night, when he was doing his dorm checks, his students made noise; whether it be because they were moving about in their sleep, or just staying up late, he didn’t know. But the point was, the dorms were rarely ever silent.

It was concerning, and Aizawa quickly knocked on the door in front of him. “Asui? It’s Aizawa, are you in there?”

A faint noise that sounded suspiciously like a thud came from inside the room, followed by the sound of someone coming closer. The door creaked open slightly, giving Aizawa just enough room to see Asui staring at him with a rather dead look that should never be on a child’s face. It was the kind of expression that you saw in heroes that had gone through something traumatic and were struggling to cope, the kind you saw on someone that had nothing to live for anymore. It wasn’t a kind look to have.

And it broke Aizawa’s heart to see such an expression on one of his student’s faces.

“Hey there, kid. May I come in?”

Asui stared at him for a moment before she nodded and stepped away from the door so that Aizawa could walk into the room. Aizawa quickly stepped inside, shutting the door behind him and plunging the room back into darkness. He remained by the door, watching as Asui simply went back to her bed and crawled into the mass of blankets gathered upon it, shifting around so that she was still watching Aizawa. How did I miss this? I know the signs; I should’ve seen them. Aizawa couldn’t help but think as he made his way over to the desk in the room, commandeering the chair so that he could talk to his student on her level. He didn’t think it would be wise to stand above Asui at the moment, not when he didn’t understand just what was running through his student’s mind.

“Your friends are worried about you.” Aizawa settled on saying.

Asui didn’t say anything, but it looked like she was listening to him at least, which was fine with Aizawa. He wasn’t expecting Asui to speak with him if she wasn’t feeling up to it.

“They were worried once the warmer weather came and you didn’t come back to school. They were thinking that maybe your hibernation was still affecting you.” Aizawa took a second to lean down in the chair so that he could meet Asui’s eyes at her own level. “But I think that something else might be going on. And seeing you like this; I think I can gather just what it is.”

The moment he finished speaking, Asui began to cry. It wasn’t the messy crying that he’d witnessed from his other kids, instead it was silent, big fat tears rolling down Asui’s cheeks and dripping onto her pillow, fists clutching the blankets so tight, it was a surprise they didn’t tear. Aizawa practically threw himself out of the chair the moment he heard Asui’s breath hitch as she tried to fight back the tears. He came to crouch before her, one hand held out for her to take if she wanted to; a hand much smaller than his own quickly taking hold, and not letting go.

“S-Sensei, I—” Asui’s voice broke off with a sob.

Aizawa was quick to reassure her. “It’s okay. I understand.”

Asui broke completely then, sobs becoming louder and louder until they filled the room. One hand held tight onto Aizawa’s and the other beat against Asui’s pillow, as if the girl wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. Meanwhile, Aizawa just sat there, offering his student the quiet company she needed, waiting for her crying to calm down so that they could properly talk.

Everyone needed a good cry at least once in their life.

He knew that from experience.

Aizawa didn’t know how long it took for Asui to stop crying, but it must’ve been long enough for his students to arrive back at the doors if the shuffling from outside the room was anything to go by. Not that that meant he was going to leave anytime soon; nothing would drag him from Asui’s bedside right now, not even a villain attack. Some other teacher could deal with that.

“Do you feel better now, Asui?” Aizawa asked, taking great care to keep his voice quiet and gentle. The girl nodded, letting go of his hand to wipe her face.

“Thank you, Sensei.” Asui croaked. “I’m-I’m sorry.”

“Whatever for?”

“I… I don’t know.” Asui admitted.

“Then you don’t need to apologize.” Aizawa said, shifting positions so that his knees would stop screaming at him for sitting on them for so long. Old age, hah. “How about we talk about this? Is there something going on?"

"No, I just... I don’t know… I just woke up after hibernation and didn’t see the point in leaving my bed, I guess.” Asui paused. “I know what it looks like, Sensei, I remember you teaching us about it when you gave us that lecture of taking care of our mental health.”

“If you knew, then why didn’t you come to me? Or one of your friends?” Aizawa asked, also remembering the lesson Asui was talking about. After a few too many breakdowns from his kids, Aizawa had sat them all down in the common room for an unofficial lesson, talking to them all about taking care of their mental health alongside their physical health, and going into depth about the signs of some of the more common illnesses—all while expressing that they could affect anyone.

But did that mean his kids came to him when they struggled? No, of course not, because they were all stubborn teenagers dead set on trying to deal with their problems on their own. Which was fair; Aizawa distinctly remembered being the same way in school himself.

That didn’t mean he didn’t want his kids to be better though.

Asui sighed, burying her face into her pillow, her words becoming so muffled, Aizawa had to lean forward just to hear them. “I just didn’t want it to be real, I guess. I’m sorry, Sensei, I don’t really have an answer for you.”

“That’s fine, I don’t expect you too. But let me help?”

Black eyes peered up at him, a little bit of hope shining beneath the exhaustion. “Okay. But, how?”

“Well, for starters, let’s see if we can’t convince Bakugo to cook something. And then we’ll see if Uraraka and the other girls will help tidy your room. Just small steps, Asui. Just small steps.”

Asui nodded, and reached out her hand.

Aizawa took the offered hand and squeezed it tightly, conveying as much as could through that grip that everything would work out, and that everything would turn out fine.

[loversandantiheroes]

So I'm overdue to finally give a little life/health update since I went on my writing hiatus. I had hoped to be able to put off any sort of updates until I was finally able to get my ass back in the saddle and writing again, but that's not really on the table just yet.

I'll spare everybody the long and boring details, but I've finally been able to start seeing a doctor again and get the ball rolling, albeit clunkily, on my mental health. I've been back on antidepressants for a few months now, and last month I finally got an ADHD diagnosis and started meds for that. Unfortunately the ADHD meds have been a lot harder to adjust to, and combined with the lingering fatigue from my depression I'm kind of back into lump mode lately.

In addition to all that fun stuff I got unexpectedly sick back in June for a few days, which turned out to be Baby's First Gallstone. Had a bunch of imaging done since August, and I'm currently scheduled to go in to get my gall bladder removed on the 28th of this month. This'll be my first surgery since I was five, so suffice it to say a ho is Nervous. They also want to keep me in overnight for observation since dad doesn't qualify as someone who can reliably look after me, so I'm going to be missing out on a couple days of work at least. I'll be spending the next week in panic-cleaning mode in preparation for the physical recovery, but on the monetary end of it the chances of me having to ask for help buying groceries in December are definitely higher than zero. Cross that bridge when we come to it.

With all this bundled up together its kind of looking like this winter is gonna be a hibernation season for me. But honestly I think I need it. My body needs some rest while my brain goes through a backlog of critical updates.

So yeah. Still here, but still not quite back up to snuff. Here's hoping for next year. 🤞

[gra-sonas]

I don't understand what's so top secret about roswell that they have to keep things hidden?? we aren't asking for major spoilers here to give away everything. we are just asking for some teasers, some photos, a trailer, a freaking synopsis so we know what season 4 is about. we just want to get excited about the new season. it premieres 4 weeks from today and all we have is episode titles. it's so hard being a roswell fan. still hoping for a season 5 too. i love this little alien show.

It's absolutely ridiculous how they keep EVERYTHING under wraps. It's dumb and certainly doesn't make people more excited for S4. On the contrary. Their Super Secrecy™ basically put this fandom into hibernation mode the second S3 ended. 💤

We got maybe a handful (if that many) of somewhat interesting BTS pics from filming S4, none of them ignited any kind of speculation tho bc we don't even know what S4's about (synopsis when???).

We know about 3 new characters - but since we don't know them yet, we're just 🤷‍♀️, and we'd rather know what's in store for the characters we've been caring about for the past 3 years.

In an act of <sarcasm> unbelievable generosity</sarcasm>, they shared S4 episode titles with us (they still haven't posted the title for 4x13 tho...) - sadly something that doesn't really allow us to speculate either bc in the past titles weren't exactly big spoilers for what happened in the episodes.

And yet they somehow expect us to be excited. I mean, yes, we're happy the show will be back, but in all my years in various fandoms, this was the dullest hiatus ever, it makes me so sad. :(

No one expects them to reveal major plot lines or post super spoilery pics or whatnot. This season we didn't even get crumbs tho. We're supposed to be 🥳, when all we've been "fed" has been nothing but thin air.

And now CW even posts a trailer for the show that airs right after RNM before we get one. That's just adding insult to injury. -_-

Current mood

[lokishowflashfic]

time keeps on tickin'

Hey readers, thank you for your patience with the break in posts as various life events have kept me occupied. First, as always, let me direct you to the collection and its wild and wonderful variety of stories posted so far — we now have 25 works there from this challenge!

Even before my posting schedule here started falling off, the volume of new fic for the Loki series has naturally been waning as the long between-seasons hiatus rolls along. And so, to go along with that sort of hibernation cycle, I'm shifting the comm into more of a fallow mode: The collection is now open for fic responding to any of the existing prompts, and will remain so with no end date in sight.

When the fandom's activity level picks back up again — probably as we start getting new information about Season 2, although who knows what surprises could be lurking before then! — the weekly prompts will be back too. Until then, here once again is the list of all the 2021 prompts:

Prompt 1: Long Way Home

Prompt 2: POV

Prompt 3: Sweet

Prompt 4: Backwards

Prompt 5: Mystery

Prompt 6: Costume

Prompt 7: Crossover

Thank you to everyone who's been reading and writing, it's been so great to see this project grow!

[builder051]

I have 800 things to say right now

1. I can’t stop coughing, so I have to leave before I either vomit or Starbucks kicks me out

2. I had to change the blog theme because the one I was using is corrupt.  I will fix it up so it looks better when I get home.

3. Thank you so much for bearing with me, giving me all the compliments, and asking questions.  

4. I’m so glad you like Starbucks Sunday, even in this truncated format.

5. I need to go into hibernation mode.  My mental health is at an all-time low, and I’m taking a hiatus from work to stay with my out-of-town family.  I’ll try to keep writing, but no guarantees on the schedule.  I don’t know if we’ll have Starbucks Sunday next week, but I’ll keep you posted.

6. I have about 10 fics either in the notebook, in my docs, in my inbox, or in my head that I plan on writing at some point soon.  Again, don’t know when.  I also have a few drawings in progress.

7. My goal with my book is to have it back to my beta reader by the end of January, and she’ll try to have it back to me by Valentine’s Day.  I hope to have it available through Amazon by mid to late February.  At that point, I think I’ll do a giveaway, but don’t know the details yet.

8. I’m sorry for all these “I don’t know” statements, but that’s the sad truth of the moment.  I’m trying to hang onto the threads here.  I’m really glad to have you guys as a little net of friends sending the good vibes back my way.

[manders1984]

Hello, I only got into the show/book while s3 was airing so this is my first droughtlander. My hyperfixation is still going strong but it seems like the fandom is easing into hibernation right now. When do things tend to liven up again?

Hello and welcome Anon! Now, I mean this as humorously as possible, but I literally said “Oh you sweet Summer child” out loud when I read this. Along with “uffdah.” You’re right, the fandom’s probably slipping into hibernation mode. Or shifting its focus toward Sam and his movie that doesn’t come out until August. Or, if you’re me, it’s almost Summer, so you’re treasuring it because it’s precious and fleeting where I live. I’ve definitely taken a bit of a break.

I have to be honest, Outlander hiatuses haven’t been fun since the Fall/Winter 2014-2015, when we had to wait like 8 months for the second half of Season 1. Those were the good old days: Jamie With The Good Hair was still around, the show was just coming off The Wedding, it had critical buzz, PaleyFest was fun, cast interviews were still fresh. Basically, everything was awesome and nothing hurt. 

Then there was the hiatus between Season 1 and 2. It was a normal-sized hiatus, but it was the start of the radio silence and lack of SM engagement/promotion that have now become staples of the cast and production. The Costume Designer started to police leaked filming pics because costumes are apparently spoilers. Don’t get me started on the daily drama and interest in personal lives that remains pervasive in this fandom. Then we had an EXTRA long hiatus before Season 3. It was hell, but woo-hoo, we made it. Jamie and Claire finally reunited! Annnnnd now we’re back on hiatus until November. But it won’t be anything like the wait for Season 5—who do they think they are, Game of Thrones?

Anyways, you asked when things liven up and I got sidetracked—not unsual for me, I assure you. Well, experience makes me want to predict that we might get a teaser sometime in June/July that piggy-backs the premiere or finale of a Starz original. Or the end of Season 4 filming. Then a trailer in September. I have been wrong before, though. People will start perking up when we get new things, as has been the past trend.

Here are some tips to survive the hiatus (and there are definitely more):

During the break between Season 1a and 1b, I compiled Season 1 filming posts for ONTD Sassenach, my first Outlander community. I recommend them. I had fun making them because I missed all of that. They’re a pretty good read—but be warned, they’ll make you more than a little wistful about cast members who are no longer on the show, how much they used to share, and the fact that they stopped. 

Check out all of the gorgeous fan art and fan fiction you can find (and go ahead and ignore DG’s treatise against fan fiction).

It’s all about finding your people. Plus what aspect entertains you. This is a very hard fandom sometimes.

If you’re interested, go through the archives of your favorite blogs, particularly giffers. You’ll kind of get a sense of things you missed. It’ll give you a greater appreciation for scenes/moments. It did for me, way before I started giffing.

Speaking of blogs, if you like an Outlander blogger and something they’re doing, show them some love! It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things and Tumblr doesn’t determine my self-worth, but it’s kind of a bummer when something I spent a long time working on only gets a handful of notes compared to the same SamCait speculation post (no offense, you all do you).

Book discussions are nice, especially about any of the wonderful Jamie and Claire moments in the later books. It’s always great to gush over them. I mean, 9 times out of 10 we won’t ever see them on the show, but it’s still fun! Start with the Claire + Jamie’s Sperm + Microscope scene, then move on to speculating how many episodes the show with devote to The Gathering at the beginning of the Fiery Cross (if you can make it through that book, you can make it through anything).

Feel free to anon me requests. I’m pretty sporadic with my posts, but I’ll try to fulfill them.

There are probably lots more but that’s all I can think of for now. I shall leave you with this:

[nadiawrimos]

Post-NaNo Debrief

TGIO though of course I’m a little sad to be done. This was my 11th NaNoWriMo. Before the event, I had outlined up to the midpoint but wasn’t sure where the story was going beyond. So I knew I would have to take some time early on to figure it out (I could have also just written until I ran out of outline and see where I went from there, but ultimately decided that wasn’t what I wanted to do). 

November started on Sunday, and I wrote 5K on day one. After finishing Act I on day 3 or 4 I decided to go back to my outline and re-work everything from the midpoint so that when I eventually reached Act III I had an idea of what would happen. 

In week one, I was happy with the way things were going. I enjoyed writing about a woman in her mid twenties trying to create healthy boundaries with her parents while also going against their wishes. (DEFINITELY not a self-insert, don’t be silly) Nia is also a lot more confident than I am, though I did give her some of the anxiety symptoms I’ve been feeling for the past 3 months. It’s fineeee.

Around mid-month, things changed. First, my hands and wrists started to hurt. I had, of course, heard about this happening to people (especially overachievers) and even No Plot? No Problem! talks about quitting typing at the first sign of numbness, but I didn’t think much of it. I guess I never assumed that it would happen to me, and when it did it sucked. I was frustrated and uncomfortable. Even though it was close, I never needed to borrow my boyfriend’s wrist braces. I was able to manage wrist pain by easing up on the chaturangas and narrating some words in g docs on my phone instead of typing them. 

Then, it was an offer for work from a client who wanted me to ghostwrite a novel in time for Christmas. I accepted a small gig to outline his story and when it became clear that what he wanted was unrealistic given the time frame, I had to turn down the project. Even though I HATE having to disappoint someone (even a stranger online) I’m proud of myself for realizing that I had other priorities. 

Lastly, I continue to be Really Going Through It right now (see: my IHMAWTD post) and when shit hit the fan in my personal life, I realized I just… didn’t care about my story anymore. I wrote the third act of my novel on autopilot, writing the plot points but not much else, with vague descriptions and almost no continuity between scenes/chapters. I wasn’t excited so my words weren’t very good.

Overall, when I consider the novel, I’m not really happy with it, and when I accidentally deleted the last 1600 words, I was not nearly as upset as I would have been if I put real effort towards it (I mean I did lose perhaps the most explicit sex scene I’ve ever written, but eh, it wasn’t my best work I just needed some words).

I do enjoy my characters though, and I’m celebrating the end of NaNo the usual way, with a manicure (shitty DIY because covid) and a new sims 4 expansion so I can play with my characters and avoid editing forever. I’m excited to blog about playing the sims while I recover from burnout/general depression.

TL;DR Good things that happened during NaNo 2020 (glass half full, y’know?):

There was a real “aha!” moment where the plot kind of came together

I wrote along with a couple of authortube live streams

I donated and received my thank-you gifts

The lovely people in the ToNaNo group sent me some stickers!

Rocked my Word Slayer sweater all month

Hazel (my cat) supervised my writing (by sleeping curled up beside me)

Clover (my other cat) got in the way of ahem supervised my yoga

Bob Ross word crawl!!!

I wrote dangerously with a friend over zoom

And arguably the most important good thing that happened during NaNoWriMo 2020:

I felt balanced as I worked towards my goal and found a routine where I could incorporate yoga every morning plus a walk/run in the afternoon in addition to writing my words. Previous Nadia would have sat in front of her laptop for hours, writing away at the expense of her social life, health, chores, and other obligations. I think working part time really helped me with this, but it proved that it IS POSSIBLE to take care of myself while working on an ambitious project. And since I haven’t really been writing since NaNo 2019, the chance to write another novel and prove to myself that I AM A WRITER even if I’m currently on hiatus/in hibernation/survival mode/figuring my life out.