#now if that studio eh. suffers something like a fire. THEN shit gets real

[curapicas]

Oh btw. Yingdu arc kind of confirms that the photo Lu Guang took in s2 was NOT meant for Cheng Xiaoshi at all, and indeed for himself? (I read a whole post about it and can't find it. I NEED to tell that person they had a point) ((EDIT: it was kindly found for me in the comments!))

I'm torn if this timeline is MORE dangerous bc they had to delete their online photos and maybe even clean their own phones, or if it makes no difference bc LG is a careful guy who surely has photos of key moments safely stashed away at their house

[softboywriting]

In Sickness & In Health | Shawn Mendes

Summary: Being sick on your three year anniversary sucks, but Shawn is there to take care of you regardless. [fluff] [non au]

Word Count: 1.6k

|Masterlist In Bio|

Getting sick is never fun, no matter what the ailment may be. It's been a long while since you've been ill, years perhaps. So long in fact you've forgotten what it is to be plagued by a stuffy head and a sore throat, to live off cough drops and NyQuil as if they are your life blood. Being sick with a cold is not a plight you'd wish upon anyone and you truly hope no one would wish upon you, but here you are, your eyes and nose red, throat on fire like you've swallowed a torch. It's that time of year when the air gets crisp and people tend to gather together to stay warm and stay out of the cold. The time when viruses and bacteria spread like wildfire in the wind among humans. Wildfire that's burned it's way into your body.

You lay in bed, blankets up to your chin. Fuzzy socks adorn your cold feet, and you rest, propped up on three pillows behind you. You've got a bedside table full of beverages you've worked your way through during the day. Water, tea, what was once warm cider and some orange juice. Truth be told, you should get up and take them to the kitchen and get fresh water, it's been quite a while since you filled the bottle that's nearly empty.

The clock on your nightstand reads a quarter till three in the afternoon. Shawn will be home soon, maybe you could wait until he gets there. Maybe he could get you some fresh tea too. Mmm, fresh tea and a warm blanket. Yeah, you'd ask him to throw one of the couch blankets into the drier for you.

"Baby?" A voice floats through the house. It's Shawn and you smile, glad not to be alone and sick anymore. "I'm home."

The door to the bedroom opens and you give him a weak wave. He smiles, the concern and worry written all over it but still hidden behind a gentle turn of his lips. You know he frets every time you get sick, every time you have so much as menstrual cramps. Shawn hates to see you not feeling one hundred percent yourself, he feels as if he has to fix it, no matter what.

"I need water," you mumble, glancing to the bedside table "I was going to get up."

"Likely story." Shawn says, taking your water bottle and then reaching for your forehead. He presses his palm to your skin. "You feel feverish. When is the last time you took some medicine?"

"Um..."

He sighs heavily, disappointment evident. "I'll get your medicine and some water. Would you like anything else?"

"Mint tea."

"And food? Have you eaten?"

"No."

Shawn cups your cheek and you look away, not wanting to meet his eyes. You know he wants to scold you. "Do I need to stay home for a day or two so you will get better?"

"No! I'll take care of myself."

"You’re sure? Because I really miss my girlfriend." He pets your hair back off your forehead. "All I've got now is this sick blob."

"Hey!"

He cracks a smile. He's teasing you, as if he can't resist for one hour. It's what you love about him, how he's always so playful and loving. "I love my sick blob." He leans over and places a chaste kiss to your temple, hand cupping your cheek as he brings your head to meet his lips. "I'll be back alright? Don't die on me before I finish your tea and some dinner."

You close your eyes and stick your tongue out, faking dead and it earns you a chuckle as he exits the room. You'd love for him to stay with you, to take a few days off from the studio, but you refuse to be selfish. ____________________

The smell of toasted bread and butter breaks through your clogged nasal passages. It consumes you're senses entirely and makes your stomach growl in anticipation. You've got a good idea what Shawn's cooking, but that doesn't make you any less curious. You get up from your bed and wrap a blanket around your shoulders to toddle your way into the kitchen.

As you suspected, he is making grilled cheese.  It's one of the few things he makes better than you, but only because you lack the patience to let the bread cook low and slow while the cheese melts inside. You want your bread toasty immediately, which always results in over toasting or borderline burnt edges with cold cheese.

"Did my irresistible meal lure you from that cocoon you've made?" Shawn asks with a smirk as he flips the sandwich in the pan.

"Yes. Can I have some soup too?"

"Tomato basil is in the microwave now. I got your favourite kind from the cafe down the street."

"You left?"

He shakes his head. "I got it on my way home. I knew you'd be hungry."

You sink into one of the dining chairs at the small table on the outside edge of the kitchen. "You know me so well."

"I do." He places his spatula on the counter and walks over to you. "Is your medicine working?"

"Mmhmm, it's making me less stuffy and my throat is better." You cough a bit and he gives you space, just a step or two back. "Thank you."

"Of course."

"Aren't you afraid of getting sick?"

"Sure, but I wouldn't leave you alone." He goes back to the stove and takes the sandwich out of the pan. It's perfect, as always. "I'd rather catch your cold than know you suffered alone and miserable."

"You're so good to me." You smile softly, and he tilts your head up as he places the grilled cheese in front of you. He's got the kindest look in his eyes. "Yeah?"

"If I ever treat you less than a queen then you should leave me." He places a kiss on your head. "I swear I will always love and care for you when you're in need. I promised you that on our two year anniversary, and I'm going to promise it again now on our three year anniversary."

"Shit...I didn't realize it was already that time." You sigh and he places the bowl of soup in front of you and takes a seat opposite you. "I've been so sick all week I spaced it off."

"It's alright, we can celebrate after you're better."

"True." You take a bite of the sandwich and smile. It's so good, absolutely delicious. "Did you make reservations?"

Shawn nods. "I did, at the italian place downtown. It's fine though, don't worry. I gave the reservations to Brian for a date."

You groan. The italian place was by far the best restaurant in all of downtown Toronto. There was no beating their alfredo with pesto chicken. It's is to die for. You're a little jealous you're missing out but you know Shawn will take you later.

The two of you talk a bit more while you eat. He says he's working on a couple songs with some new writers and that he thinks they may make it to the new album. You ask about his parents and Aaliyah since you haven't seen them in a while. By the time you're down to the bottom of your soup you see something in it. Something dark.

"What's in my soup?" You ask, fishing it out with your spoon. You lift the small round object out of the soup and set it on the table. It's a ring.

"So..." Shawn clears his throat.

You wipe the ring off with a paper towel Shawn got for you earlier. "So what? Are you proposing to me right now Shawn?"

He lets out a nervous laugh. "No not quite, it's a promise ring? I wanted to get you one as a placeholder for a real ring, and I couldn’t wait. It felt wrong not to give it to you today on our anniversary."

You slide it over your ring finger and it fits perfectly. It's a beautiful silver band with three good sized diamonds set in the center of a tiara shape adorned by your birthstone on the sides. "You want to marry me?" You tremble, eyes wide as he stands up and moves over to kneel down beside you.

Shawn takes your hands, so much smaller and delicate than his. He just beams, seemingly lost for words as he stares at you like you're everything in the world. "I would like to someday. Do you accept my promise to love you and marry you one day?"

"Yes," you squeeze his hands. "Someday, I'd love to be your wife."

He stands and presses a kiss to your lips, so sweet and gentle.

"You shouldn't kiss me."

"Eh, a cold isn't going to stop me from telling my girlfriend I love her on our anniversary." He kisses you again, this time with his fingers threaded between yours. "Nothing could keep me away from you."

"I love you so much," You mumble, trying to hold back tears, head pressed to his for a sense of stability.

"I love you too, happy anniversary honey." He says and wraps his arms around you, cradling you close as you let yourself cry because you're so happy. Never did you think he'd give you a ring, especially not while you're sick and moping, but here you are and there that beautiful ring is on your finger. You suppose the vow to love your significant other in sickness and in health truly is one Shawn has proven he will stick to.

The end.

______________________

*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted fics.*****

[ne-fe-li-bata]

Aye yo CORPSE!  ...

Dead ass;

You can't convince me that Corspe was/is/does ; 

in no particular order..

• Deserve to be held ( I would smother him with my chest and hold him tighter than he has ever been held) & protected from this world

• Pyro! Mans loves🔥🔥🔥 - mostly his fav elemental  (Leo is a fire sign); “WOOO... now that’s a fire!”

•  Loves knives/weapons- has a collection (quite a nifty 1, ay thank-a-you) & even knows how to use butterfly knives/ tackle combat.

      Has a collection of weapons (brass knuckle, daggers, swords, knives,etc.)

•  Highly interested in combat/training. Most likely has training in some sort of combat. Loves any form of physical combat < UFC,MMA, Boxing, any type of martial arts>

•  Absolute proper gentlemen / clearly has the utmost charm/cunning

      I.e holds the door open & will slap yo ass on the way in, moves you away from street side when walking, pulls chairs, defends your honor, etc.

• Takes A . L . O . T  to truly capture his attention- but once you have it ..%100

•  With his person; protective/obsessives/ possessive/ sensual/ affectionate .

              < mine is mine. me no share -like absolutely not at all>

             “ You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down for ya“

• RP'er on DeviantArt/chats had his own OC. (also prob had his fav person to RP with) 

         <prob even talked to them in MSN or private chat>

•  Watched mostly nothing by anime/cartoons (nick/CN) as a kid & also mostly watched certain shows/movies as a kid well into his teens

         (could recite quotes/scenes as second nature)

•  Not a major musical theatre type of kid. But musical movies/shows was 1 of his favs- but still highly interested/ in love with theatre/musicals/preforming arts none the less.

-EYES DON’T LIE

•’staring problem’ he’d just stare at you -deep in his head (both good & bad) you’d have to bring him back to you ..”babe- eh, come *snap*back to me. What’s on your mind my love?’

•  Genuinely a really warm person- but only to certain people, but comes across cold & distance 

•  Grew up in the internet & knows the way around the 'business' & 'faceless' YouTubers/celebrities

•  His teens/ late adolescents consisted & grew up on YouTube O.G videos/ video game commentary/content;

  Cry.. <Cry was a huge part of my life & still hold a special place in my heart. Corspe just like I was most likely devastated with the shit that went down> 

Jack

Nova

Sp00n

Jontron

Smosh

Nigahiga

Shane

Jenna

Hanna Hart

Phil/Dan

KevJumba

Ray William Johnson

Pewds

Machinima

EMT

ERB

Wassabi Prod.

VlogBros, 

-etc

• Has an oral fixating (lovebites indefinitely <like dead ass ya’ll be chillan/ out & he’d attack you> & just needs something in his mouth always)

• Fidgety af, always need to be playing with something in his hands/playing with 

•  Is a goddamn absolute certified freak--but also super soft bean boi. (can't stress how this boi needs& deserves to be protected)

• Constant hand/arm touching/stroking for comfort.

• Daddy{papi} / Mommy(mamá) . Master . Sir  kink - hard control kinks- but highly sub. 

hard(er) kinks

• Lovebites = M I N E 

obvs fishnets/ crossbody straps/ lingerie

lace

collars/ restraints 

toys

     •RP

degrading/praising

sub/dom switch

showing/proving your actually/completely & utterly his/ he’s completely & utterly yours..

& of course you know it's go time when 1 - if not both of you has kitty ears on. 

over stim 

*no touchy/ don’t let me go*

“look at what I’ve done to you”

“you kno only I can do this to you”

“look how greedy you are for me”

“look at the mess you’ve made because of me’ 

“cum on my face”/’cum for me”

“who do you belong to” / “you belong to me & only me”

100% all black clothing 🖤

*that once we get home / I swear I’ll deal with you right here, right now* look 

primal play  “when you run from me, it only makes me want you more” “you know imma find you kitten”

pet names (beast< i feel like you call this man “ (a) beast”-he about to lose his absolute fucking mind> , “oh Corpse/______, you absolute fuckin’ beast- my God” kitten, babyboy/girl, baby(e), bae, my love, lover boy, my darling, slut, needy little bitch, cum slut, lil’ whore, master/mistress, king/queen”

“only yours” “just ______” “ no-one but _____” “only____” “only you” 

‘I’ll keep you so no one can find you or bother us’

“that’s my girl” / “that's my boy”

“would you like to/ I saw----”

“look at me” “don’t look away from me”

GROWLING / talking through clenched jaw

not breaking eye contact 

     • his name & ‘Corspe’ being cried out 

“cry out my name for me baby. know who you belong to”

video/sexing/teasing 

breeding kink

voyeurism

abrasions

aftercare af 

impact play 

24/7

edging 

accidental stim; “holy fuck- I’m so turned on by you rn”

rope bondage 

begging 

worships 

•  But also soft kinks; 

MEME SENDING

head on lap/chest

naps

playing with hair 

matching outfits

voice messages 

always touching (somehow)

no space between bodies

picture taking together/ just of you

body rubs, head rubs

massages

competition 

play fighting

“this reminded me of you”

“I remember you said” “I know you...”

“you know I love you”

“I can tell by your eyes”

“ugh- I swear to shit imma marry you 1 day”

“nothing really made sense until you”

“do you wanna watch”/ “WAIT!? YOU HAVEN’T SEEN?!”

“damn- you really do love/like me, eh?”/ “you are SO fucking mine”

“that’s my girl”/ “that's my boy”

pet names/ “MY_______” “YOURS”

long stares

dates- stay at home dates are his fav, as your attention/focus is just on him 

choker/necklace/ jewelry (that 1 of you bought- NOT LIKE HIGH PRICE TAG, but like seen it & was like ‘omg ____ would so wear...’) 

cuddles with movies /anime watching time

just being in the same room/on call- even in silence 

* emojis*- just some sort of communication 

inside jokes/ puns/dark humor

seeing 1 another with kids

future kink (family, travel, etc)

playing video games 

dancing/ singing with 1 another

Sitting on the ground, wrapped around his leg when he streams/edits

Nerf gun fights 

Watching him record (tracks/editing/streaming)

•  Loves- loves surprises <like dead ass would set up a surprise date/ do a scavenger hunt for you/ surprise you with your fav thing>

•  Loyalty is everything & his best attribute (& pride) 

• The music that he make is from the soul/heart. He pit everything has has/what he has left into his art

•  No one has seen the real him - a side he truly hides

•  He's both book & street smart

           Taught himself through YouTube/Reedit/online 

•  Fav actors; Jim Carrey/Robbin Williams/Will Smith (?)

•  Man’s straight up dangerous. we only know like a  quarter of him & people fall at his feet. ( h e . i s . n o t . t o . b e. F U C K E D . w i t h) 

•  Hates silence 

         ( constantly needs background noise)  <also can't fight me on this babyboi cuddles pillows/blankets for night-night time>

•  People don't understand the pain he is in every day, unless they have fibromyalgia/GERD/high functioning (sever social)anxiety/depression/ agoraphobia 

(my mom suffers with fibro/depression <I myself have GERD/ sever social amenity/depression>& I wouldn't wish those illness on my worse enemy...)

• Over all pain has changed him

• Has dealt with self harm since a young age- most likely 9- 11 yrs old. (as someone else who’s suffered with SH for years- when you become so numb it 1 of the only ways to feel some sort of anything/makes you feel like you’re alive)

• Addiction (drugs/people/things)

•  Wrote & read a lot of fanfiction

        (most likely his main source of reading in pre/teenage years)

• Is a hopeless romantic but has his guard way up

•  Obsessed with Japan / Studio Ghibli

• Doesn't think he deserves any of the recognition/ fame he's gotten--but definitely deserves it all as he's creative & inspirational as fuck. Also he’s worked so hard for it & had put himself through so much

    Contrary is highly appreciative of those that are supporting

• Doesn't do it for the fame but for the fact he know how he's gotten people through hard time (just like those on the internet got him through)

• Was a scene boy that vibe’d of myspace/ listens to a lot of  ‘scene’ pop-punk, emo/ scene band shit (band?)

•  Also is/was a major tumblr boy

•  Would be a phenomenal father

•   His love language: physical touch & words of affirmation 

• He would flinch at touch movement but would melt in your hands

• Face caresses would trigger anxiety/ tears.. but once he’s calmed/comfortable would burry his face in your touch. neck & chest

•  Still caught up in daydreams

•  A part of him is still never satisfied even if it’s exactly to the pin point detail of what he wanted  

•  Has at least 40/50(ish) songs he hasn't released

•  Mommy & daddy issues (not saying his home life was really- really  fucked - but non the less- it certainly wasn't the best).. Also wants to protect/provide for his family (especially his sister) & was prob closer to a grandparent/aunt/uncle)

•  Definitely prefers to be by himself, as every time people come around, it's like;‘"this is why I'm okay (ish)with being alone" 

• lost an important person to him due to O.D/ suicided..

•  Also most likely to of heard his "friends" shit talking 'Corpse' or something correlated with him

•  His pride is his biggest sin (next to lust)

•  Has single-handedly defined a huge part of 2020 ( in the best way)

•  Went through a fighting stage where he was ready to fuck anyone up on a drop of a dime (middle/'high school'/street fights- possibly even under ground)

          but also a stage where he cut absolutely everyone off for a solid couple years

•  Most likely obsessed with 1 of 3 creatures; lion, dragon, wolf ( 5ish- possibly bear/fox)

•  Dinosaur obsessed 

• Internet & video games raised him

• He raised himself

Quick to adapt to surroundings/situations.

•  Mighty Morphin Power Rangers was his shit ( I CAN SO SEE YOUNG BABYBOI RUNNIN AROUND THE HOUSE IN A POWER RANGER SUIT) "IT'S MORPHIN' TIME MOTHER FUCKER"

              fav ranger- green 

•  Has up until next year planned out & is working on the next 'version of corpse' ( PR, vids, music, etc)

•  Also med/high key this man was most likely in a physcward (more than once) ..

•  This man deserves more than he'll ever give himself recognition for & knows in the back of his mind--people will hate just to hate

•  Rose is his fav flower  🌹

•⛈️🌧️. >🌞.  Loves storms/ rain & prefers them over sunny days

•  Loves the moon/stars/space (?) < observatorium dates = fuckin mint>

• Pixar/Disney lover

        <still believes- deep down in happy ever after ... but thorough an twisted yet not so twisted- simple(??), dedicated process(?)>

•  Fav Pixar movie.. either Wall.E or Toy Story 

    •  Pixar > Disney

         •  But fav Disney movie- Beauty & the Beast (?)

• Most likely had a Jackass obsession's (doing dumb hoodshit)

•  Fall is his fav season (?)

•  Horror/ thriller movies/shows over everything (obvs)

•   Had an escape place in town where he’d hide from the world- that absolutely no one knew about. 

•  Was really into graffiti/ street art 

•  Arested as a youth - but charges dropped- or was still considered a mirror (either fighting/ possession/ trespassing/ vandalisms)

• Arrested on heavier charges (also same as above - but not tried as an minor)

•  also-ALSO ... thou he feels like he owes people something. HE DOESN’T OWE ANYTHING TO A N Y O N E . His mental & well being is the most important.

•  On a side & major note. You can't deny that this man single handily is a (in my opinion) the 2nd biggest “C” that define 2020.

•  Was most likely really into skateboarding/BMX

• Late night drives/impulsive road trips & playlist/ sitting at lookouts, just in silence & touching 1 another. 

• Clingy af-.. but could also be distance & cold af- especially on high pain days. stormy brain days. PTSD episodes.

• Slow dancing/ dancing around the apartments. with or without music.

• Rocking out with each other- screaming lyrics in each other face.

• “hey baby- how you feelin” 

         *grunting* *shuffles over & lays on chest* 

• Huge comforts for 1 another;

      Especially when going out, being wrapped around him for comfort & reassurance. Even being at home alone together- panic attacks are shit, PTSD episodes are even more shit. helping each other with bathing & caring

     When he’d be hiding from his reflection- or stares just a little too long. Going up behind him & worship him (vise versa)

• He’d be your biggest hypeman/ #1 fan (vise versa)

• Would LOVE you wearing his clothes/jewelry & would love to wear you things.

Was probably engaged to his ex (that's why he gets offt when people mention "corpse wife"

There'd be days where he'd be so distance & cold.. & tell you to leave but wouldn't let you.

He'd sit in the bathroom with you when you shower/have a bath.

As he doesn't sleep most night. He'd be up just watching you sleep & caressing you.

Lil spoon > big spoon.

<more to be added>

I love you... genuinely . turly.  madly. deeply.

[sugarcoated-pain]

Heavy Rotation Part 4

Hey guys! I’m excited to share this next part with you! Let me know what you think! As always, big thanks to @sublimehood for making sure this shit is actually worth posting! haha

Warnings: Mild drug (just pot) and alcohol usage, cussing.. that’s about it. lol.

Best Friends to Lovers- original character + Ashton

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

As is to be expected, I slept for most of New Year’s Day. Things were pretty quiet, so I assume the others did the same thing. I lay awake in bed that afternoon staring at the ceiling, dreading leaving my room after what had happened. Would things between Ashton and I be awkward now? Would he be mad at me? Would he pretend nothing happened? My brain analyzed every possible scenario over and over again. I eventually decided that I couldn’t hide in my room all day and would have to greet the day, whatever it may bring.

Georgia and Calum were watching TV on the couch when I entered the living room.

“Good morning sunshine.” Calum’s tone is dry and unenthusiastic. He is clearly also suffering from the night before.

“Hey guys,” I grumble, taking a seat on the other sofa. “Where’s everybody else?”

“Mikey is hung over as fuck and went back to bed. Luke disappeared halfway through the night, and never came back. We think he left with some girl at some point.” Georgia answers, “but since I know you’re actually referring to Ashton, he went over to Camille’s to tell her the truth about what happened last night.”

My eyes go wide and I glare at Georgia, looking quickly to Calum and then back to Georgia.

“Relax. He already knows.” she responds.

“GREAT. Thanks G.” I retort sarcastically.

“Actually, Ashton told me.” Cal replies.

“WAIT WHAT?!” my eyes go wide again. “What did he say?!?!”

“NOPE. Not playing that game.”

Before I can respond, the front door opens and Ashton walks through. He looks like HELL. I mean, let’s be real, even at his worst, he looks better than anyone else I’ve ever seen, but this might be his WORST. His appearance is disheveled and he’s clearly hung over, but there is something else there. His eyes are red and puffy, and he has a pained look on his face that I never wanted to see.

“Hey Ash… everything okay?” I ask, concerned. He plops down on the couch next to me and buries his face in his hands. I exchange a quick worried look with Georgia and turn back to Ashton.

He’s quiet for a few moments, and then without lifting his head, says “I went over to talk to Camille… and there was another guy there.”

The other three of us gasp. “Are you fucking kidding me??” Calum says angrily.

“Nope” Ashton answers as he sits up and leans back on the couch. “Apparently she’s been seeing him behind my back for about six months now..”

I sit up straight, “Georgia, let’s go. We’re beating this bitch’s ass right now.”

As I begin standing up, Ashton puts his hand on my arm to stop me and gently pushes me back onto the couch.

Georgia ignores me and watches him sympathetically. “Ash, I’m so sorry. That is so shitty.”

He sighs. “I should have known. I’m so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid.” I answer quickly. “She’s a horrible bitch and I really hate her now.”

“You always hated her..” he comments..

“I strongly disliked her before but now I HATE her for doing this to you.” I’m in best friend mode right now. Last night is completely out the window at this point. I rest my hand gently on his shoulder supportively. He looks up at me, those perfect eyes filled with pain, and my heart shatters. How could anyone do this to him? How could this bitch not realize what she had?

“What did I do, Em? What did I do wrong to deserve this?” he asks me quietly, leaning his head on my shoulder.

Georgia, clearly coming to the conclusion that this is not the time for an audience, suggests, “hey Cal, why don’t we go grab some food or something to cheer Ash up?”

Picking up on the cue, “yeah okay. Your favorite pizza and beer, sound good buddy?” Calum adds. Ashton shrugs, and the two of them get up to leave.

Once they’re gone, I turn to Ashton.”Wanna go up to the roof?”

“Sure.” He shrugs again.

“Okay. I’ll meet you up there. I gotta grab something.” I reply and stand up to head to my bedroom. When I get there, I pack the last of my pot into Ashton's favorite pipe. After that, I reach under my bed and pull out a small shopping bag. I grab my acoustic guitar and lighter along with everything else and climb out my window onto the fire escape.

Ashton is waiting for me when I get up to the roof. I hand him the pipe and lighter and sit down next to him, setting my guitar on my other side.

“I got you something. It reminded me of you so I got it for your birthday, but I don't want to wait that long and I think you could use it now.” I say as I hand him the bag before he can light the pipe. With a questioning look at me, he reaches into the bag and pulls out a dark red, ornate journal with a matching pen. “This kind is my favorite for writing music in, and this one made me think of you for some reason.”

He spends a few moments examining the journal, then turns to me with a look of mild disbelief, followed by a smile. “Thanks, Em.”

“I write when I'm going through some shit, and I know you're the same way, so I figured you could use it now.” I add with a shrug.

After looking it over for a little while longer, he sets it down and lights the pipe, handing it to me after taking a hit. “Hey… about last night..” he starts.

“Don't. We don't have to talk about it now.. or ever. I messed up.” I answer quickly.

“No. I mean… I just don't want things to be weird between us.. especially now. I could really use my best friend right about now…”

“Calum?”I ask with a smirk and take a hit off the pipe.

“No, dork. I mean you.”

“I can handle that role.” I reply, passing the pipe back to him.

“Or maybe even .. best friends with benefits?” I can’t tell if he’s joking or not.

“Suggest that again when you’re not so vulnerable..” I say with a short laugh, half hoping he’s not joking. I pick up my guitar to prevent myself from looking as awkward as I feel right now and start lightly strumming. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see that he has started writing in the journal. We sit like this for a while in comfortable silence.  Eventually, I ask, “Do you wanna talk about the Camille thing or would you rather just chill?”

“I think I’d rather just chill for now.” he lets out a sigh and leans back, staring out at the city ahead. “What’s that you’re playing?” he asks.

“Eh, just a little something I’ve been working on lately…”

“You wrote that? Are there lyrics yet?”  

“Yeah.. it’s basically done. I haven’t played it for anybody yet…”

“Can I hear it?”

I stop strumming and turn to look at him. The look on his face is one of genuine interest. “You sure? I don’t really know how good it is..”

“I’ll tell you if it’s good or not, just let me hear it.”

I sigh. “Alright.” I begin playing the riff he had just heard, only louder and more deliberate now. After a few seconds, I start singing along. I don’t know why I’m nervous, I’ve sang for Ashton dozens of times. Maybe it’s because of what happened last night. Maybe it’s the fact that this is an extremely personal song that means a lot to me. I glance over at him every now and then, and every time, he is watching me intently. I can feel my cheeks getting red. Why am I being so weird about this? I finish the song and look over at him expectantly.

His expression is impossible to read. After a few seconds, he starts to stand up. “C’mon. I have an idea.” he says, reaching his hand down to help me up as well.

“What? Where are we going?”

“Just follow me.” He heads back down the fire escape in the direction of his room, then climbs through the window. I follow behind him. I’ve only been in his room a couple times and I try to take in as much as I can every time. It smells like him. It’s a little messy, but not gross. There’s band posters on the walls and random musical instruments all over the place. Ashton grabs his keys off his dresser then pulls me by my hand out of the room. He continues out of the apartment, down the stairs. The record store and studio are closed for the holiday, so it’s dark downstairs when he unlocks the back door to the store. Once we are through the purple curtains, he flips the lights on in the recording studio.

“Ash.. what are we……” I start to ask, completely confused.

“That song was incredible and I want you to record it.”

“What the hell? Are we even allowed to be in here?”

“I’m vulnerable right now, remember? I can do whatever I want. And I want to help you record a demo using that song you just played for me.”

My brain can’t process what he is telling me, so I just stare at him in disbelief. He turns the rest of the lights on and starts to turn on the machines. “Go on, get in the booth.” He motions for me to enter.

“You’re insane.. Are you serious right now?”

“YES. I just got my heart broken and this is a damn good distraction now get your ass in the booth and sing for me.”

I feel like I could cry. A mix of every possible emotion rushes through my body, and I’m eventually able to convince my legs to carry me into the recording booth. I sit on the stool that’s already in the room and position my guitar. Watching Ashton through the glass, I wait for his signal. When he gives me the thumbs up, I take a deep breath, and start to play. My song flows out of me. I know if I think too much, I’ll fuck it up, so I allow the music to take over. I’m not paying attention to anything but this song- not the fact that my life long dream might finally be coming true, not the gorgeous man on the other side of the glass making it a reality-nothing but the song. Approximately two and a half minutes later, it’s over. I’m shaking from head to toe, I’m almost hysterical. I set my guitar down and run out of the booth. Ashton is grinning from ear to ear. I practically jump into his arms to hug him.

“That felt so amazing. Oh my god I can’t believe I just did that!” The hug lasts a little longer than it should, and take one awkward little step back from him, still beaming though.

“You sounded fantastic. I’m really fucking proud of you right now.”

If I wasn’t blushing before, I definitely am now.

“There you guys are! We’ve been looking everywhere!” Calum and Georgia push through the heavy curtain. “We’ve got pizza and beer upstairs… what’re you guys doing down here?”

“Emma wrote a kick ass song and I just helped her record it for a demo.” Ashton says, beaming down at me with pride.

Georgia turns to me excitedly, and bounce over to her and jump up and down while squealing. It’s real cute, I promise. The rest of the evening involves the four of us eating pizza, drinking beer, talking about music and watching movies, and never once mentioning that bitch Camille’s name.

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

Part Eight

taglist: @cheyenne-in-wonderland @drummerboy794 @harrysgucciclothes @emmamarshmellow

let me know if you’d like to be added to the list for future parts! Also, if you’re enjoying this series, I’d love it if you could reblog so others can see it too! THANKS! <3 

[busanbunnie]

In regards to my previous post, 2NE1 will always have a special place in my heart. Words don’t actually describe how much they mean to me but I’m gonna give it a damn good go!! 

These girls are what got me into Kpop, the reason behind finding them is extremely odd and probably the weirdest way of finding out about Kpop but... it’s what brought me here so I’ll hold onto that. Back when I was 12, we had a house fire in the middle of the night, one which could have killed us if we hadn’t been aware of it just seconds later and since then I’ve suffered with multiple hardships. Depression, severe OCD, PTSD, eating disorders and panic attacks. My anxiety is constantly on full alert but I have learnt to deal with it. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about this traumatic event which essentially ruined my life. 2NE1 were the ones who helped me through it when I needed help the most. In my teenage years, I struggled A LOT. I didn’t have the correct mindset and I didn’t know how to cope with everything that was happening to me. Now I’m an adult, while I do still struggle on a daily basis, I feel I have more control over the situation and I’m able to take care of myself better with coping strategies. 

Long story short as to how I found them, curiosity got the best of me one night (despite it being years after the incident) and I ended up typing ‘fire’ into youtube, I don’t know what I was planning to achieve or what I was looking for. I just had this morbid curiosity to search for it. I don’t know if it was to see how people coped after such a thing or for a documentary or even something to make it seem less scary but 2NE1′s fire popped up. Now I’m a dancer and the immediate bright colours and what looked like to be the still of a dance routine drew me in straight away. I got 30 seconds into it and I was hooked. They had only debuted for about 3 months at this point so unfortunately I wasn’t there from the very beginning in May but I was there from pretty much the starting point. (Almost).

I remembering spending the entire night searching for them, watching every single video there was at that point and falling in love with them. I went to school the next day and gushed about them to everybody. At first people did the whole “you can’t understand them though” and it angered me but the more I played them, the months that went by until I knew everything about them, the majority of my year respected and knew of 2NE1 because of me. They were supportive and people would always do the fire ‘eh eh eh eh eh’ dance. It made me happy to know that these girls had such a positive impact on everybody even if they didn’t understand why I personally liked them so much. As the years went on, I found myself taking solace in 2NE1 TV. I’ve watched all of it about 40 times over. I know it back to front, off by heart. It was the thing to calm me when I was upset. They calmed me when I was down. They were there for me through their music, performances, interviews and dorky moments even if it wasn’t physical. 

I have every single song they have ever recorded on my iPod and I know them all. From covers to all their live concerts to live performances on music bank, inkigayo, etc. The numerous versions of each song also such as ‘hate you’s ‘fuck you’. They’ve been my world for 9 years and even if they’ve gone on their separate ways now, they continue to be my world. I follow and support each member continuously, I will NEVER leave them behind. My biggest dream was to go to a concert but unfortunately I never got the chance to.

I have all their albums and singles!! My favourite album is 2NE1 1st Live Concert (Nolza!) It’s so feel good, you can hear them talking to the audience in the audio and they seem so upbeat and happy. You can feel the electric atmosphere through your speakers and just hearing them so excited and happy is honestly the best thing a fan could ever hear. My favourite performance in the world would have to be the MAMA 2011 performance. That stage was mind blowing and while others HAVE topped it, I do agree, there is just something really special about that performance to me. It’s ingrained in my heart and it just sums up 2NE1 for me. I would always show that stage to people first if I was introducing them to these babies. Last but not least, my favourite song!! ‘Love Hurts’ from their 1st full album, ‘To Anyone’, I love it so much, I adore the vocals, the melody, everything. I heard it for the first time and fell in love and it’s been my favourite ever since.

Now, this is something I definitely have to touch up on. I do NOT have a bias. They’re the only group where it’s impossible. They all mean so much to me and it’s genuinely like you’re forcing me to pick through my children. Instead, I will tell you my favourite aspects of each girl and perhaps write a little note to each of them even though I know it’ll never reach them.

Gong Minji, my lil’ minki. You’ve been through so much. Leaving the group was probably one of the hardest decisions you ever had to make but please don’t worry. We don’t blame you, we could never hate you and we will support you no matter what. You’re album is incredible, I bought it straight away and your vocals are perfect as always. As a dancer you always inspired me to push myself that little bit more. You always made me believe in myself that I could be better with more practice. You continuously showed me that being the youngest didn’t mean you had less experience or talent. You worked hard for every single goal and you achieved. I wish I could come and experience a dance lesson from your studio, it’d be a dream of mine. I love you, maknae! You’re strong, courageous and beautiful. 

Sandara Park, oh how I miss your antics Tokki!! Well, I still see them on instagram and other places but seeing them daily on musics shows or 2NE1 TV, I miss them. You never failed to make me laugh, you were the energy, the vitamin, the one who never aged! Or aged backwards so to speak. Everything you have ever done, you’ve worked hard. You always expressed your worry about not being as ‘talented’ as the other girls but you are. Your voice is beautiful and you worked hard on your fitness and dancing, don’t ever underestimate that! Plus, your acting always blew me away--you never gave up even if you struggled. When you bought your guitar and practised so hard until your fingers almost bled, I was so proud of you. You always fight for what you believe in and that’s a strength I’ll never possess. I love you, sweet angel!

Park Bom, the actual comedian. You had me in stitches on a daily basis and now I’m lucky to get a small glimpse of you on instagram. I long for the day I see that beautiful smile on your face again. You’ve had a shit four years but you’re slowly coming back stronger than ever and words don’t describe how proud we are of you. You stand up to the haters, you continue to be yourself and I have so much respect for you. Nobody will ever take that strength away. We got your back, beautiful girl. I look forward to hearing your new work, I’m so happy you haven’t given up singing. Your unique voice gives me chills every time I hear it and ‘You and I’ will always be the one song which gives me goosebumps. We’re all waiting for you but take your time! I love you, moomin!

Lee Chaerin, what people see as a fierce, powerful woman on stage (which you are) don’t realise just how soft and wonderful you are. CL will always be an alter ego I aspire to be like but Chae, you’re the dorkiest little bubble of sunshine in the world and I WISH more people would see that side of you. You became unconfident without make up around 2011-2012 and that broke my heart because you’re so beautiful inside and out. Never be afraid to show your true self again, you’re so talented and the love and care you have for your members despite the shit you have gone through and the hate, it’s one of the strongest bonds I have ever come across in my life. Keep strong, lil one! I know you act tough but real fans know the real you. I love you, rilakkuma. 

I’m gonna wrap this up because it’s getting stupidly long but there were two days that broke me being on such a long journey with these girls. The day Minzy left the group and the day they officially disbanded. They’ve been through hell and back and even to this day, I STILL can’t listen to ‘Goodbye’ fully. I’ve only ever listened to it once and it’s on my iPod but I have to skip it. The second they start singing, I feel the pain in my chest. I just can’t bring myself to do so. I don’t want to talk about their disbandment much because it’ll bring back a lot of negative emotions and this is supposed to be a positive post. Just know that it still hurts me to this day and nobody will EVER replace them. They will always be my girls, my favourite group and the best thing that ever happened music wise for me. 

Thank you if you managed to read all this! I would LOVE to hear your guys stories! ♥

[chara-killer-bear]

ALL U TRASH BEAN

1. What is you middle//full name?

Alias: Sally Janches

Real Middle Name: Jane Deveza

2. How old are you?

15 turning 16 in 4 days

3. What is your birthday?

January 27, 2001

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Aquarius uvu

Chinese zodiac would be the snake~

5. What is your favorite color?

Redish-pink or a really dark shade of blue

6. What’s your lucky number?

4 or 8 or 16

7. Do you have any pets?

A cat named Peter and a few goldfish that are floating about in the tank atm :”)

8. Where are you from?

Santa Clara, California

9. How tall are you?

4′9″ to 4′11″ sadly :”)

10. What shoe size are you?

flats it’s a 3 or 3 ½ and with sneaker it’s a 5 or a 6–

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

More than 25 that’s for sure–

12. What was your last dream about?

Last dream was something revolving around some fantasy plot– I forgot what most of it was- but the only thing I remember was that I was tryna exit the dream or something and this wizard is all like “in order to escape you need to forget” and I’m like “lmao let’s get this over with”

13. What talents do you have?

- Whistle

- Went through the suffering process of drawing

- Be a meme

14. Are you psychic in any way?

For some reason through dreams–

Y’know in all honesty I remember there was this particular vision I had in the middle of 6th grade and still traumatizes me to this day but you’d probs have to bug me a bit before I actually tell ya

15. Favorite song?

- Jenny by Studio Killers

- Say You Like Me by We the Kings

- Pretend by Bad Suns

- Rather Be by Clean Bandit

- Dead Hearts by Stars

16. Favorite movie?

- Coraline :”)

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

@static–things​

18. Do you want children?

Only the future will tell–

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Not sure–

20. Are you religious?

Just a bit– But not one of those hardcore religious people– Just a lil–

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

A few times– Although mostly because I was a small child and I kept getting sick a lot–

I remember we had to perform surgery on me when I was a toddler because there was something wrong with the gums on my teeth

I was really close to going to the hospital when I was around 8-10 because I was struck with a really high fever and my body was close to dying, until my mom force fed me to eat a whole bunch of healthy foods, I threw up many times, and the next day I was fine. According to my mom, I was in that bad of a condition probably because my grandma kept starving me from food when my fever began.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

Got scot-free though

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I would say the Prince of India, since my uncle’s sister is married to him and I was at their wedding– I was probably around 7-8 at the time though

24. Baths or showers?

Showers :”)

25. What color socks are you wearing?

Pink

26. Have you ever been famous?

Nah– I’m just your average nerd who just needs Internet to live :”)

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Nah–

28. What type of music do you like?

I really don’t have a particular type of music I like– 

Well, except Christmas songs– If they count–

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Nope.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

0-1 

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

I think it’s called fetal position???

32. How big is your house?

1 room

1 living room

1 kitchen

1 creepy ass hallway

1 bathroom

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Mostly I don’t even eat breakfast, but when I do it’s just mostly things I can cook fast, like pizza or ramen–

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Sadly nah :”)

35. Have you ever tried archery?

:”)

36. Favorite clean word?

Oh my goodness–

or

Oh golly goodness

37. Favorite swear word?

F U CKITY FUCKERTONS

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

1 week :”)

39. Do you have any scars?

Yeah– burn scars; one each on my arms and one on my ankles–

I’m pretty sure I have a scar on the back of my neck–

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

I don’t know- do I?

41. Are you a good liar?

I’m not even sure anymore–

42. Are you a good judge of character?

Maybe??? I’m not sure???

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Sorrey eye onley spek Engliph

44. Do you have a strong accent?

Meh– Not really–

45. What is your favorite accent?

ENGLISH ACCENT OR MAYBE SCOTTISH

46. What is your personality type?

ENFP

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

Honestly this coat I have lying around that’s around $40–

I probably have another article of clothing that’s much more expensive than that but I can’t name any atm–

48. Can you curl your tongue?

T A C O T O N G U E

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Innie

50. Left or right handed?

Ambidextrous!

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Nah– I find them interesting~ 

52. Favorite food?

SPAM M A S U B I

53. Favorite foreign food?

PALABOK

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

If I were a clean person I would know where tf my Kindle is now :”)

55. Most used phrased?

- jfc

- G OLLY GOODNESS

- FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

- Hello darkness my old friend-

56. Most used word?

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

A good 30 minutes of me actually getting ready :”)

58. Do you have much of an ego?

At some level, but not egoistic

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Bite :”)

But whenever I’m working on something mostly I just suc

60. Do you talk to yourself?

H eh, well according to @static–things​ apparently I do–

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Every day :”)

62. Are you a good singer?

Nah

63. Biggest Fear?

h EI G H T S

64. Are you a gossip?

Not sure–

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

I guess There Will Be Blood? There’s probably a more dramatic movie I watched but the first thing that popped up when it comes to drama is There Will Be Blood

66. Do you like long or short hair?

Meh– 

Both?

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

1- California

2- Texas

3- New York

4- Oregon

5- Washington

6- Idaho

7- Wisconsin

8- Utah

9- Colorado

10- New Mexico

11- Oklahoma

12- North Dakota

13- South Dakota

14- Kansas

15- Arkansas

16- Maryland

17- Massachusetts

18- Nevada

19- West Virginia

20- Vermont

21- Pennsylvania

22- Montana 

23- Tennessee 

24- Wyoming

25- Michigan

26- New Jersey

27- New Hampshire

28- Ohio

29- Hawaii

30- Alaska

31- Florida

32- Louisiana

33- Illinois

34- Nebraska

35- Missouri

36- North Carolina

37- South Carolina

38- Iowa

39- Kentucky

40- Indiana

41- Alabama

42- Georgia

43- Virginia

44- Connecticut 

45- Delaware

46- Rhode Island

47- Maine

48- Minnesota

Aaaaaaaaand I’ll end it there

68. Favorite school subject?

HISTORY AND ENGLISH

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

I’d like to say both–

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

Nope :”)

71. What makes you nervous?

Many things:

- anxiety

- the ever-so impending fear of people leaving me, people hating me, etc.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Nope–

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Sometimes–

Mostly just to be an ass lmao

74. Are you ticklish?

Yep :”)

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

… h eh

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Nah– I’d panic if that happened though

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Nope–

78. Have you ever done drugs?

Hell nope–

79. Who was your first real crush?

First real crush would either be this guy named Aaron or another guy named Lam

80. How many piercings do you have?

2- considering they’re ear piercings

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrojo

82. How fast can you type?

Last time I checked it was around 72.9 WPM

Lemme check again

87.9 WPM

83. How fast can you run?

Faster than the chaser that’s for sure–

84. What color is your hair?

Dark brown

85. What color is your eyes?

Brown

86. What are you allergic to?

Well one thing for sure is hot dogs–

I swear, redirecting to 21, my fever started because of this hot dog I ate at Target-

So in summary of chain of events, first I ate a hot dog at Target with my grandma back when my hot dog allergy wasn’t as bad as it is now- and before my grandma drove me to her workplace(because back in the day my dad was no where to be seen, my mom had to work, and since I had no where else to go to after school, that’s when my grandma stepped up and decided to take me to her workplace every after school despite her boss telling her she can’t)

After my grandma drove me from all the way to Rosemead to LA where her workplace is at, I felt like dizzy and sick for some unknown reason at the time but thought it would pass. There was this room that was dedicated for my use only in my grandma’s work because no one used it, and it had a huge couch. So I pretty much crashed on that couch, waited for the dizziness to pass, and slept. 

Next thing you know it, I woke up and in an instant I threw up both on the couch and on the carpet floor(which would explain why a few days after they got rid of the couch and the stain on the carpet remained forever as this black blotch among the original red hue of the surrounding carpet. They were bound to get rid of that couch anyways; my grandma always told me that it used to be owned from the past establishment it was before it was an eye clinic- which was a morgue. So basically not only did I sleep on a couch that was sat on doctors sucking the blood out of dead people, but it could possibly be soaked with dead people’s blood.)

Right after that happened, I kept hurling in the bathroom, and when it came to the time where my grandma had to leave the clinic, my grandma gave me a bucket for me to throw up in case I do- and pretty much the following night I felt like shit- couldn’t breathe most of the time, felt hot everywhere, absent from school for at least a week or so because I felt that horrible, and almost had to go to the hospital, but ironically felt better when I threw up after my mom force fed me food. 

87. Do you keep a journal?

Not anymore– Unless notes on iPad and Chromebook count–

88. What do your parents do?

Secret~

89. Do you like your age?

16 MY FAVORITE NUMBER

90. What makes you angry?

- If someone hurts any one of my loved ones

- Bigotry

91. Do you like your own name?

Meh- Could change it to Sally

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Not really–

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

Maybe girl~ It’s not like I really care that much though, girl or boy or nonbinary, I’ll still love them the same

94. What are you strengths?

BE A M E M E

95. What are your weaknesses?

Not sure–

Depends from person to person I guess–

96. How did you get your name?

Honestly my mom thought I was going to be born a Capricorn, and since she had way too many bad experiences with Capricorns, she thought it would be a good idea to name me a name that sounded “spunky”, which is a trait she kinda disliked. However jokes on her, I was born late, thus I turned out to be an Aquarius, and now I turned out to be a smartass. 

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Don’t recall so–

98. Color of your room?

White/Beige

99. Color of your bedspread?

Can’t say for certain– I would say either white or patterned–

100. Make up your own question

Favorite type of milk?

Strawberry milk~