#obviously i've said most of this before in various contexts

[max1461]

Here's my other problem with tumblr discourse: even when I make the context/intended interpretation of a post really explicit, people ignore this context and respond to it in like... for lack of a more charitable term, a discoursebrained way.

So a while ago I made a post about some ethical intuition I had, and at the top I put a huge disclaimer which said something to the effect of "this is just an expression of my feelings, it's not meant to be a philosophically airtight position, please don't take it as such", followed by a readmore and then the actual post. Why did I do that? Because I figured that if I didn't, people would nitpick it in various technical ways that missed the basic point. Lo and behold several people still did that, and when I replied basically restating the disclaimer, one of them said "oh I didn't even see that. Well I think if you post a half-baked thought online I retain the right to nitpick it".

I guess that's true. My blog is public. But the point is that I want to use my blog for certain things and not others, right, that's what I'm attempting to do. And people seem actively resistant to my attempts to guide the discussion on my blog in certain directions, which makes blogging less enjoyable. Of course some people will always do that, that fact doesn't bother me, but it feels like the irrelevant/point-missing discourse so often overshadows the meaningful discourse that I start to feel less of a desire to put in the effort.

Like, the point of issuing that disclaimer was to say, as explicitly as I could manage, "I am trying to have a discussion about feelings and intuitions here, I am aware there might be ways these intuitions are not fully consistent, but that is not the discussion I'm trying to have". But even so explicit an attempt to specify a conversation topic does not work; the discourse machine demands a certain kind of engagement and that is the engagement every post will get no matter what.

I don't want to put the person who missed my disclaimer on blast: it's honestly an error that anyone could make and on its own it's no big deal. If said person is reading this: you didn't do anything wrong and I am not mad at you, to be 100% clear.

It's not a one-off mistake that bothers me, it's the fact that this is how discussions on here so often go that putting in the effort to discuss things productively often feels wasted.

Another example of this that... if you go through my #society tag, you will see a lot of uncertainly in my phrasing. You will see me say a lot of "it seems like we should..." and "we should find some mechanism to..." and so on and so forth. Why? Because, as I've mentioned before, I've gotten a lot out of political discourse on here. When it's good, I actually find it quite good. But it's good when it has a constructive or collaborative tone, when I am bouncing ideas or thoughts back and forth with someone. Generally I am trying to invite this kind of discourse.

Sometimes, again, I say it really explicitly. I don't have them off the top of my head, but I know there are quite a lot of #society posts where I've said something quite straightforwardly to the effect of "here are some niche social/political issues I've been contemplating, does anyone have any ideas for how to respond to them". Obviously there's a spectrum in how explicit I am about this, but even when I'm really clear, most of the responses I get are still "discoursebrained", in the sense that they seem antagonistic and generally more interested in saying "X guys are cool and Y guys are lame" than in productively engaging with a set of ideas.

Even if you disagree with my claims or my premises, there is a way to state that which adds to a conversation instead of shutting down a line of inquiry. I am always trying to invite this type of mutually-productive discussion, and I so rarely achieve it.

Over the years my methods have changed. I come from a background of like, forums for specific nerd interests. Those places are plenty contentious, full of plenty of drama and disagreement. But ultimately, I always still felt that productive discussion was valued above destructive discussion; that because we were all united in a common goal of [doing our nerdy hobby], a comment where you build on someone's idea to say something useful to others or to introduce a new insight was generally valued above one where you just said "you're wrong for such and such reasons, hah!" or even "you're right for such and such reasons".

Coming from this background, I assumed this would also be the case on tumblr, and that I would not have to put in any extra effort to invite this sort of discourse. Alas, this was not true; even long and thought-out replies from respected discoursers often just amount to "here are the guys I agree with and here are the guys I disagree with, for such and such reasons". This is lame and boring and not appealing to me.

So over the years I've tried to be more and more explicit about what types of discussion I am trying to have, I've tried to tee up the sort of interactions I want as much as possible, but it hasn't really worked.

The problem is not strictly the quality or measuredness of the responses or their tone or anything like that. These are the things most people focus on when they critique the discourse, but I think they miss the point. The problem is that most responses don't seem to be intended to advance a mutually-productive discussion, they don't build on the base of what they are responding to, they just make various assertions and statements of allegiance in the vicinity of the material they are responding to and call it a day.

Maybe this is too harsh. I'm sure I do this too. And it's not always bad. Sometimes I use someone else's post openly as a jumping off point to elaborate my own ideas (although I try to be careful about this, and also make it somewhat clear that I am doing it), and this can be productive. I do actually want to hear people's ideas. It's not any single instance of these things I'm complaining about, it's just that discoursey responses seem to drown out all other types of discussion, even when you are really clear about what type of discussion you are trying to have.

So that's my complaint.

[recurring-polynya]

For the fic meme! :D <3

5. Quote one of your fics out of context (I feel like this one’s hard, because how does one make a decision about it?? But I’d love to hear what the first quote was that sprung to mind, regardless of whether it’s one you’d have chosen. Tho you’re welcome to choose one, too!)

7. Share the first line of your five most recently published fics

16. What is one of your favorite words or phrases to use in writing?

19. What headcanon do you always include in your stories?

5. A quote without context. I didn't actually want to say the first thing that popped into my mind--I do a fair amount of these memes, so I've had to answer what is my best line/fave line/etc before and naturally those were the ones that floated to the surface. Instead, I tried to just let my mind drift over various stories I had written to see if some particular thing would pop out, and here's what I got:

“I’m not a poet

I can't tell you fancy lies

I’m just a soldier

But there is one thing I know

That girl will run you straight through”

[the context, because I think it would be nearly impossible to find unless you recognize it, which I hope most people who read that fic would]

7. First lines. From most newest to older-est, presented without titles for funsies.

"Why are you asking me?" Rukia frowns. "Renji is a perfectly adequate liar.

"Hinamori," said Renji, "I am not actually going to become an adjunct fighting arts teacher."

"Renji. Renji, wake up. We need to tell you something. Renji. It is the afternoon, Renji, why are you sleeping?"

Unohana Retsu looked on, gently, but attentively, as her Fifth Seat poured her a cup of tea.

"So, the thing about a month-long deployment," said Sixth-Seat Kotetsu, "is that you will not need to be on high alert twenty-four hours a day."

3 and 4 are technically two parts of the same...concept? It's not actually a real fanfic. Anyway, as a bonus, there's the first line from my last big fanfic:

“I don’t know if they’re trying to capitalize on Boy’s Day, or what,” Rukia said, idly inching her hand toward the plate of hot, steaming gyoza sitting on the countertop next to Renji’s stove, “but they’re having some sort of Seafood Festival out in East Sixth.”

I just love a dialogue cold open, I guess????

16. Current favorite phrase. This summer, I feel deeply in love with the writing of Ann Leckie, like, I think she might be my favorite author now. A phrase that Ann Leckie characters use all the time is to respond "Just so," to something they agree with. It's just a great phrase because I feel like you have to have some level of self-confidence, of bearing to go around saying shit like this. It's like "Yes, I am glad you see the truth of this thing that I, obviously, already knew." I am do not feel remotely capable of writing Imperial Radch fanfic, but I do feel capable of making certain Gotei captains say "just so" and now I do. So if you see one of those in my writing, that is me in my Ann Leckie era.

19. Headcanon I always include. "Rukia" is a name that Rukia gave to herself. I don't see any reason that she would know what the name she died under. She was a baby. Name magic is one of my very favorite themes in writing, and this is a very important part of the magic of Rukia's character, to me. I will never, ever say what her original name was, even though Byakuya knows what it is because Hisana told him. It doesn't matter. Rukia is her real name. (Is this why Hisana could never find her...? Perhaps)

(fanfic writer ask game)

[doberbutts]

I was telling my friend this story last night but it's a pretty funny one so I'm repeating it here:

In general prior to T I could tell if I was passing or not from whether I got carded. If I got carded, I was passing. If I didn't get carded, I was not passing. This is back when I was really straddling the line between "butch lesbian" and "gay twink" and so it was a serious coin toss on who guessed right with a whole lot of people blatantly going 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ hey you 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ instead of "sir" or "miss".

Except one time I got carded while very much not passing.

You see, if you're new here, you wouldn't know that I don't drink alcohol. And I don't mean "I don't anymore" or "I do but very infrequently". I have had a handful of sips from various past partner's beverages, gone "eeeuugh no thanks you can have it back" or "people... drink this on purpose???" I don't like the taste and besides with my heart problems I really shouldn't be drinking. I've never been drunk in my life and I've bought alcohol few enough times to count on one hand- twice as gifts and twice for cooking.

This particular time, I was buying alcohol for a friend for her birthday. Because I don't drink, I don't know what people like, so I had her come with me to pick out a favorite since I obviously don't know what I'm looking for. But you have to understand the full context of this here:

Me, in my mid-20s, being visibly some flavor of gender variant, in southern MD as a visibly black person, bringing my friend in with me and telling her to go grab what she likes.

My friend, white, 3 years older than me, 4'11" and with that form of dwarfism that makes her look like a child forever, going straight to the fridge and grabbing several bottles of booze before shoving them into my hands and making fun of me/sassing me along the way because she was a generally sarcastic and sardonic person and that's how we bantered. It does not help that with her small size she *had* to buy children's clothes because most women's didn't fit her.

The cashier was so VERY suspicious of what appeared to him to be a clearly adult masculine woman buying alcohol for what looked like a middle schooler that he carded both of us. And did every test possible to see if our IDs were fake. Like, right there in front of us. I think at some point I was like "oh yeah you literally look like a toddler so that's fair honestly" and she, highly offended, said "I AM OLDER THAN YOU 🤬🤬🤬" and at that point the cashier must have either given up or decided it was legally no longer his problem because he took my money after that

[manyothermusingsofmine]

A Family Found || Chapter 1/2

Fandom: Xmen

Warnings: None that I can think of

Wordcount: 1979

Summary: It has finally settled for Miranda that home is where the heart is. AN: your honor this was supposed to be done before I started the Genosha fic but procrastination and writing block really kicked my ass on this one -------------------------- Maybe she had truly found peace.

That's sure what it felt like, as Miranda sat curled up in the corner of the living room couch. She was drawing, and listening to her friends talking about Star Wars lore. She didn't particularly care for the deep lore about said space franchise, but her eyes were drawn away from her art none the less.

Because it wasn't just Ebak, Shadow, Ber, Lemming and Myst chatting in a five way conversation about this topic, but at some point Kurt had eagerly joined the conversation as he too had a lot of thoughts and opinions about the characters and the spaceships. Miranda had already loved to just sit there and listen to the various melodies that made up the voices of her friends, but to now hear her lover join as he so easily joined the conversation? How her friends just as easily accepted him into said conversation and listened to his input?

She hadn't looked down at her drawing since, watching the people in the conversation with so much love and affection in her eyes. Not only because her friends had wholeheartedly accepted her into the group, with all her quirks and things she worried about- but because after she told them she was officially dating Kurt they had extended that open armed behavior to him immediately. There was no acting up about needing to protect her from him, not the whole "if you hurt her we'll hurt you" nonsense that media told her was so prevalent... and always made her feel like whatever she chose the choice would be considered wrong and beyond her capability of making- whether that was the actual intention or not. But no, her friends accepted Kurt just as easily as they had accepted her.

It was mesmerizing to watch, and warmed her heart to the core. Chin in her hand, she just watched and listened to the conversation unfold. Did she have context, or knew what any of them were talking about? No. But watching Shadow passionately arguing for something with Ebak insisting the narrative had to go that way, and Kurt then wholeheartedly agreeing with Shadow?

She was sure her eyes were sparkling with just how much love she felt for everyone involved even if her eyes were very obviously on the man who held the key to her heart.

"Do you want to say something, Miranda?" Myst asked, with Miranda's eyes flicking to him. Myst was another kind hearted soul, one hidden behind a lot of worries about his volatile portal making mutation, but even so he was a very kind person. She really had lucked out in just how many kind people this mansion had drawn in, and how willing they had been to be her friends. Her eyes slowly went back to Kurt, her heart fluttering in her chest

"No. If you want to discuss Indiana Jones I'm your gal though. And I'm still waiting for someone to bite the bullet and make a great Lord of the Rings movie," she joked lightly

"You don't like the Bakshi movie?" Ber laughed in response.

"What do you think? I would love for that franchise to get the same treatment as Star Wars, you know? Something big and bombastic," Miranda said with a grin.

"How about we have a movie night? Maybe we'll finally be able to show you how fun Star Wars is," Kurt almost chirped, and Miranda's heart fluttered once more as he looked at her with pleading eyes

"Alright, alright, just stop looking at me like that; you know I can't resist those puppy eyes of yours."

Kurt grinned, tail happily swishing back and forth; he knew very well that she was unable to resist his eyes most of the time. He looked at a message on his communication watch, Scott asking him to help him with some documents.

"I've gotta go," he mused, wandering over to his girlfriend to press a quick and soft kiss to her forehead as a gentle goodbye, "keep me updated when this movie night is gonna happen?"

"We will, anyone got any ideas of when that works best?" Ebak easily agreed as he immediately started planning, while Miranda took the slight distraction by him as an opportunity to press a soft kiss to Kurt's cheek as her way of saying goodbye, drawing a soft purr out of him.

"I'll see you soon, Süße," he whispered to her, before vanishing in a puff of smoke to which Miranda just let out a soft, happy sigh.

"Mail arrived. Here's yours."

With a very deep sigh that seemed to come somewhere from the deepest part of her soul, Miranda read the letter that she casually tore out of the envelop. It was just her, Ebak and Myst in the living room of the mansion on this early evening, the rest of their friends scattered among the place. The two men with her instinctively looked up at her sighing, immediately concerned for their friend.

"Bad news?" Myst asked, a softness to his tone that Miranda always quite appreciated.

"Eh," Miranda said in a very nonchalant and non-committal tone, "just bills. Would be wonderful to get a postcard for once, but I'm not that lucky."

"Bills for what?" Ebak chimed in. To Miranda he always sounded like little in life managed to catch him off guard; that even if it did he somehow always knew a way to get through it. A skill she hoped to actually obtain someday. For now, she just shrugged, another but lighter sigh leaving her.

"The apartment I had before living here. Well, still have, rather. I really should go back to fetch the final bits of my jewelry and art books and the likes but..." her voice trailed off as she refolded the bill in her hands.

"But what?" Myst asked, and Miranda tried to ignore the hint of concern now ringing through in his voice.

"... I'll do so when I get over myself and stop being a baby about the bad vibes that place gives me," she shrugged as she spoke, "until then I'll just deal with the bill so the landlord doesn't come knocking on the mansion door."

As the alarm on her watch went off, she gave it a little glance before easily and smoothly getting up from the table.

"I've got to go, I've an appointment with Hank to discuss some of his findings about this reflective nature of my cells- and yes Shadow will be there so I don't insult the guy by not understanding seventy percent of his doctor's speech. See ya around, bye."

The two men both spoke a soft goodbye when she left, silence lingering between them when Myst looked at Ebak from the corner of his eyes, before fully turning his head into that direction.

"So... She could've just asked us to..."

"Oh, she could have," Ebak agreed with a somewhat tired tone to his voice, "unfortunately, my friend, we're surrounded by many people who think asking for help makes them a bother. Or, in Miranda's specific case; so stubbornly independent and self-sufficient that I genuinely think it doesn't even cross her mind to ask her friends for help; because surely this isn't a big deal and she can handle it on her own."

"So what do you suggest we do?"

"You call the team together, I'll see about getting us the keys to her apartment. Something tells me there's more going on than the place just being bad vibes for her."

And with that said, the group met up the next day in front of Miranda's old apartment, with Ebak casually twirling the keys to the place around his finger while Myst showed up with Ber, Lemming and Shadow in tow- the latter closely followed by Gambit.

"... Do I want to know how you got those keys?" Myst asked.

"I don't think you do," Ebak dryly remarked, "do I want to know why Gambit is here?"

"That was my idea," Shadow answered sheepishly, to which her brother just shook his head in amusement before opening the door and clicking on the light.

The kitchen was a disaster; the contents of a cabinet no longer attached to the wall spilled out all over the floor with glass shards covering every tile. Aside from that the place was dusted over- no one had been here in quite some time.

"Right," Ebak muttered, crossing his arms, "best thing we can do is get this place cleaned and cleared out so it can be rented out to someone else instead. Shadow, I want you to take the bedroom under your wing. Everyone else, start moving furniture out of here and clean as you go. We'll see about fixing the cabinet later."

Meanwhile at the mansion, Miranda had woken up from her slumber and wandered around to get herself breakfast. It was only after she'd gotten some food in her that her brain woke up enough to note that it was quiet in the mansion. Too quiet for a place usually so full of life. Usually either Ber, Shadow or Lemming were around, while Myst and Ebak aligned more with her night owl schedule but would still be here to have breakfast in equally as zombified a state as she was.

As her brain put those notions together, she almost choked on her tea in her realization, before a deep grounded "fuck" left her.

She rushed out the door after getting properly dressed, making her way over to her old apartment as fast as she could as her eyes grew in surprise when she saw the stack of boxes and furniture being moved out. Ebak popped into view near the stack of boxes, immediately locked in as her eyes flew to him when he picked up another box. He turned around, offering her a sheepish smile.

"Hi, Miranda. I figured you would still be asleep in Kurt's room?"

She was far too stunned to speak, instead gesturing wildly at the boxes and furniture around herself before her brain finally remembered how to use her voice

"What- What are you doing?!? What are all of you doing?!?"

"Helping you move out," he said it so matter-of-factly that it stunned Miranda straight back into silence, big green eyes looking at her friend with the utmost surprise written into them as Ebak casually twirled the keys to the place around his finger again, "aside from the fact that this place holds bad memories for you, properly moving out everything all on your own? Miranda, that is incredibly hard and difficult to do. You could've just asked us for help; we're family."

Something in her eyes trembled, surprise making way for a deep sense of gratitude in the green pools of her eyes. But then, something else popped up in the emerald shaded; confusion

"Wait. How did you know I didn't sleep in my own room at the mansion?"

Ebak just smiled, mysterious and mischievously, giving the keys another twirl before he spoke

"Because I know you well enough to know that with Kurt out on mission you're camping out in his room until he's back. That room holds, well, how would you say it.. good vibes for you, so..."

Miranda just stared at him with her mouth slightly agape for a long time, before lightly shaking her head while an affectionate sigh left her, "you're a menace, E."

"Takes one to know one."

At that moment, Myst emerged from one of his portals with Gambit in tow, humming a Tetris song to himself as they stacked the boxes for Ebak to whisk off to Miranda's room. When Myst felt two sets of eyes on him, he sheepishly looked over to his friends

"Am I interrupting something?" No, but another voice sure as hell was; "What are all of you doing?!"

[neechees]

Hi! Before I ask my question, I just want to say that your art is awesome! I especially love the common windmill butterfly OC you came up with. They're so cool! Did you ever decide on a name for them? I just realized that's also a question woops lol that wasn't the main question I wanted to ask. I was curious if you've ever seen the 1999 film Ravenous, and if so, what are your thoughts on it? It's a film that not so subtly almost blatantly denounces the u.s, colonization, and european christianity by comparing it to cannibalism. However, they also incorporate something that I don't think I should spell out cuz I've heard it would be disrespectful of me as a white person to mention the word so I'll just say that it starts with a "W" when written out in english. I wanted to know if, even in a context in which colonization is outright reprimanded, if it's still unintentionally engaging in oppression by adding that specific cultural element into the movie at all. I've been trying to find any indigenous film critics's thoughts on the subject but google and tumblr's search functions are total garbage and I've also been making a point not to write the W word into any search engines cuz as I said earlier I've been told that that's not a good thing to do. But obviously, you don't have to answer any of my questions if you don't want to. I just know you sometimes do art analysis, so I figured you might be interested in giving your thoughts on the subject. Anywho, I hope you're doing well! 🧡

For the first part of your question, tysm, and I'm so glad you like my art!! <33 I actually never named any of the fancy shawl dancers, they're less like fully fledged OC's and more like just a human representation of what a fancy shawl regalia might look like inspired by the moth and butterfly species given. many dancers might have a regalia that represents something or have common motifs/themes surrounding that thing, sometimes very personal, and sometimes just because they like that thing or think it's pretty, and seeing butterflies on fancy shawl regalia is very common, which is partially what inspired me to do the series. I'd love to see if any other people had come up with names for them though!

and as for you main question, no I have never watched that movie, and I don't think I will specifically because it includes that. I also don't know how much Native involvement there was in it. The idea of the ice cannibal representing greed comes from traditional beliefs (which may vary depending on tribe, but there's quite a bit of overlap) of multiple Algonquian Nations, so that's why it pops up in media surrounding it, I don't really think it's particularly groundbreaking or anything because that was OUR beliefs. However, I know most depictions of the ice cannibal, because most are done by Moniyaws, are inaccurate. Generally most beliefs regarding the ice cannibal tend to agree that one shouldn't show it at all, except under specific circumstances and by certain people. You might get differing opinions on whether White depictions on the ice cannibal is contributing DIRECTLY to Native oppression specifically, but in the very least it's disrespectful and maybe a microagression (depends on the content, though). I wish people would STOP doing it, but for the moment I don't know that much can be done about the already released media regarding it.

But even with Native led depictions, let me give you a couple of examples: There was like this live play of a Native retelling take of Macbeth put together by a small group of people that featured the ice cannibal, and they went around various reserves showing this play, and they came to my reserve. My sister was there, and she said whenever it (the ice cannibal) came onto stage, multiple people, which included most of those in the audience, screamed and ran out of the room, only returning when the character was off stage. So that should give you an idea of how many Cree people feel about even fictional depictions of the monster lol.

As another example, there's this Native artist who's work you might have seen at some point, named Norval Morrisseau (he's almost like the Native American Michelangelo of Woodland Art, and he's described as "the Picasso of the North", that's how legendary he is), and while he's still very very famous, of course he's most well known by Native people. He did a painting of the Ice Cannibal, and it was very controversial among Natives when it was done and displayed. Many people believed he shouldn't have painted it at all. So even though the monster and his art was a bit more obscure at the time he painted it, this was still highly controversial.

So even when it's coming from a Native perspective, any representation of the ice cannibal will be controversial and subject to differing opinions, which might vary depending on their specific beliefs. If it's THIS controversial when NATIVES do it, imagine how much worse it is if it's a White depiction with bastardization (not that we necessarily want an accurate depiction, either). I can't offer a review on the film since I've never watched it and likely won't, but if another Algonquian has, feel free to share your thoughts!

[boyd-speaks]

January As usual January started slow. Apropos of nothing, I decided to draw this anthropomorphized Musharna (from pokemon) and she's so sleepy, she has a plush Teddiursa. I think that's cute.

February And so begins my art this year, mostly being art for my various youtube videos. It's kind of amazing I made the video this is for back in February. Only this week, at the time I'm writing this, I've been working on a variant of the deck it's about, and won a clean game with it. Jalira is really cool. Shame 'Cold Brews' didn't go anywhere. I liked the idea for a series, but I guess it was too slow. Who's to say more, maybe if I'd done more one of them would have caught fire. (I didn't even end up using this as the thumbnail since I wasn't sure anyone would pick-up what it's about.) March This one is an exception to my usual rule. I always use pictures actually on DeviantArt, and its an easy rule considering just before posting this year in review I added some pictures I missed, but this is but one of a group that, while I think embody the month, I don't really think need to live on dA. This, and the other images I made with it, were for my April Fool's video, so they weren't even shared until then, but were definitely drawn in March. April I loved the video this was for so much! I wrote some short fiction, and gave it a dramatic reading. I made a mechanically interesting card that combined these two beloved magic characters, and I drew this picture, which is one of the few drawings I did this year in this specific style, which I kind of think of as my signature style, despite not using it much in 2024. May There are surprisingly a lot of good may pictures, but I had to give it to my boy Amnesio. One of my favourite pictures of the year, regardless of context, they're also the face of one of the years best received videos.

June June was Splatoon-June, one of the weirdest daily art projects I've done, because the art was actually secondary. Instead of challenging myself to draw a picture every day, I designed a magic card, made art for it, and recorded/edited a short video about it. This was just one, but click through to the linked picture if you want to see the entire month of art. July Like with Amnesio in May, this was drawn for a very similar video, and I really tried to match the level of quality I did for Amnesio with this one. Interestingly this is actually the third in the series, the second one came out in June, but I never posted the art because it just didn't come out super great. This one though... I like this one. August These weren't the only options for August, but I love these little weirdos. I think my best work is when I go simple and stylized, but I tend not to include them in stuff like this, because they aren't the most, obviously impressive. As I've said about other pieces in this review, these guys are the face of one of my better performing videos of the year, so they have that going for them too. September And here's Morrigan, my girlfriend's most important OC (to me and our relationship, I can't speak for her.) I haven't drawn her in a long time, but she's always in the background of our life. For her birthday I decided to draw Morrigan and make a magic card for her, and this was the result. I tried to keep it relatively stylized, while still putting in the extra effort to make it feel special. There's a bunch of fun techniques I used in this that I hope to use again in the future, like the post white outline and the way the background came together. October I couldn't not use my October daily drawing challenge for October, but this year I went so stylized with it, one drawing wouldn't do. So here's the end of October summary picture for you to peruse. I highly recommend clicking through to the video as well since it includes a very cute scene that a fan made using them which I found incredibly touching. November I feel like not that much happened in November, I ended up getting very busy and the only really good picture from that month, I didn't even remember to post. I just put up this piece today in preparation for my Year in Review, so here it is. I like Taya, she's fun. Not a very complicated design, but a cute one. December And finally December. I didn't make this piece because I was overwhelmed, but it works well for it. December is always busy, and this year was no exception so it's a very fitting image.

I love doing this series, not just because it gives me an excuse to look back at all I've done, but during the year it makes me remember to do at least one noteworthy thing a month so I don't have any empty spaces at the end of the year.

Happy New Year everyone, here's to another one.

[circuitfurscaleandvines2]

🦉This is an interesting breakdown! It seems i didn't provide enough context in the previous post. If the takeaway from the original is "you should be a doormate", I definitely did a bad job of explaining my suggestions! Let me try to respond, and maybe come to some conclusion about how to improve it via your suggestions :)

"this reads like you see intense emotions as not part of the everyday human experience"

It's unfortunate that my personal experience made you feel unseen here! As someone previously diagnosed with major depressive disorder, I sometimes feel a sense of distance from emotions as "normal". What language do you think I could use there, to be less alienating? For Context, I'm giving advice here about how best to structure a relationship in which one person has more intense or more frequently intense emotions than the other person.

you do not have to be the one to calm the situation down every single time you cannot control being hurt, it's not a switch you can turn off or on

You're not the first to point out that "don't be hurt" is a bit intense. I was trying to convey something like "Ideally, you want to set your boundaries and their consequences such that, whenever possible, you will not be hurt. Being someone who is generally able to take care of their own emotional state, even in the face of intense emotions from your partner, is incredibly good for keeping that partner safe in the relationship". What do you think of that phrasing?

if they do not get what they want the first time and keep asking anyway… that person does not respect your no and does not respect your boundaries. and that is an extreme red flag.

Totally agreed. It's unfortunate that there are people out there who, for various reasons, do not respect boundaries the first time they hit the consequences. It's a very scary thing to have a relationship with someone like that. Obviously, most BPD people are /not/ like that, but I happen to have had a relationship with someone who was, and it took a few times of breaching a boundary before she learned to respect it.

I suppose part of the reason I bring it up is that, well, I want even people who struggle with consent to have a chance to learn. And being a partner who is implacable in enforcing the same boundaires over and over is a chance for that person to /learn/ the skill of intuitively respecting consent... But I also don't want to encourage /anyone/ to have a relationship with someone who does not understand consent. I guess I don't know the best way to reframe that part.

if somebody breaks up with you because of how they feel at the time, and not because of what's going on, that's extremely toxic.

Similar to above, it's absolutely toxic behavior. It's also something I've experienced repeatedly, and something that comes up often on webpages dedicated to helping BPD partners. So I thought it was worth mentioning from the onset as a thing to expect, and how I recommend handling it.

you said "if not when" and then immediately go into saying "when they do return" take your own advice.

hahaha, very good catch! I should do that, apologies.

expecting somebody to come back every single time they break up with you… No

Ah, that's not what I was suggesting. Maybe I should have said "Never say 'when you come back', because it's a shitty thing to say to someone who is currently emotional. Even if you expect your partner to be back in a few hours, don't imply they will by saying 'when you come back', which is rude and treats them as not an adult capable of making their own decisions"

this is a guide on how to be a doormat in an unhealthy at best relationship, and abusive at worst.

That's a fair critique. I'm giving advice on how to have a relationship with people with a disability, potentially someone with significant past abuse and skill gaps. I've seen similar critiques leveled at advice to being the partner of someone with other personality disorders, mental disabilities, or even physical disabilities.

Ultimately, everyone should decide for themself whether they can be a good partner to whoever it is they love. Sometimes, the answer is no and you should break up! I don't advocate for staying in a relationship that is mutually detrimental and toxic. But, for this post, I'm giving advice to people who have decided not to give up.

Healthy Relationships with BPD partners/friends

🦉This is from the perspective of someone without BPD. Source: had a long distance BPD partner for 8 years.

You are agreeing to intense emotions. So many people make friends with BPD people thinking they'll fix them, they'll teach them, that the BPD is temporary. Assume it's not. Go into the friendship ready for and okay with those intense emotions. Treat it like a disability, not a phase.

Understand their emotions aren't comfortable. Being intensely angry or sad isn't comfortable. They're living it, they know. Almost universally, they're scared of bringing that hurt to others. Being there for them will often mean reminding them that it /isn't/ hurting you, that you're okay.

Empathize without amplifying. Humans are empathetic. Those intense emotions are going to make you emotional. What's important is that you /reduce/ the overall emotionality of the interaction. Don't spiral with them, don't escalate. They're afraid of hurting you, don't be hurt.

Know your boundaries and stick to them. Sometimes, you'll gets requests that push your boundaries. It's vital you use a consistent set of boundaries. That you say no to the same ask, every time. They're not just asking the question, they're also checking "am I hurting you with this emotion, am I 'making you worse' by being around". Consistency is a reassurance, that you're safe to be unmasked around.

Always leave the door open. Intense negative and paranoia spikes can have them break up with you. The most important thing to communicate, at these times, is that you'll be there if they want to come back (always say if, not when). And when they do return, treat them kindly, exactly as you always have. Consistency is more reassuring than empathy.

Ultimately, you have to be okay around intense emotions. From there, consistency is worth more than empathy. Be someone they can't hurt. High Locus of Control at all times. Do that, and you become someone they can bring anything to, someone they trust, and when the emotions are worse they'll come to you before doing something awful.

[morethanonepage]

☕ + anything you're feeling salty about 👀

i think a lot of sequels and just fandom content lately has a kind of....narrative revisionism that's very knee-jerk and basic and comes back around to reactionary imo.

like -- i do get the impulse. often i even agree with the impulse!! when the only queer coded or textually queer characters in a narrative are villains, it's very easy to be like, well what if THEY'RE not the villain, the HERO of that narrative is ACTUALLY the villain, and the hero is actually OPPRESSING the villain. you see this a lot with disney hot takes -- Ursula didn't do anything wrong, Scar maybe had a point, etc, etc. I think most of those are fairly harmless (lack of understanding of tortious interference w/r/t Ursula aside).

and sometimes this is can be done well, even beyond queer coded narratives, by really going AFTER what society usually considers a HERO and whether their traits are actually that heroic -- GDT did this explicitly with Michael Shannon's character in The Shape of Water, where he took what would've been the main protagonist in the 60s movies it's based on (upstanding straight white family man w kids and a beautiful wife at home, an apparently very successful government agent) and makes him the antagonist to the marginalized characters that we're rooting for. Not to be cheesy but that's real #Commentary, on society, on the way White Men have been treated as de facto heroes for doing very unheroic things like y'know. Imperialism and the founding & upholding of racist/sexist/homophobic/ableist institutions.

So that's narrative revisionism done well. (see also, loathe as i am to praise star wars on anything, how they're doing all they can to ruin Boba Fett for the portion of fandom that was alllll about idolizing a cool (presumed white) bounty hunter dude.)

But then you have like -- Cobra Kai. Where in the process of trying to broaden the scope of the Karate Kid movies and tell the story from the bully's POV, the show seems to have (unintentionally or not) convinced a BUNCH of people that Daniel Larusso is and was California's Greatest Monster for, idk, fighting back and getting a little mouthy toward a bunch of kids who were older, bigger, and stronger than him. All of which is kicked off by him defending a girl who was single at the time and flirting with him. Like this idea about the "illegal crane kick" (you see other people in that tournament kick their opponents in the face, it's either not illegal or it's not exclusive to Daniel who ~thinks the rules don't apply to him~ or w/e) seems like something that came from fanboys who saw themselves more in the Cobra Kai badasses (how DARE daniel come in and win against these HIGHLY TRAINED fighters when all he did was fuck around w a random japanese man for a few weeks!!! THEY DESERVED IT MORE!!!).

but the villains (or at least, antagonists) of TKK were chosen VERY intentionally: a white vietnam war veteran. a bunch of big, blond, preppy boys. like it's ABOUT the unjustified force!! it's ABOUT the violence inherent in privilege!!! it's ABOUT the othering and mistreatment of people with the most MINOR of deviations (i mean Daniel is white Italian, but the mere fact that he's smaller and like A LITTLE darker than the most popular his preppy California school mates marks him instantly as an outsider & therefore weak and vulnerable). like these are all highly specific critiques of 80s culture and politics, and esp pointed for being in a karate movie of all things.

so going into cobra kai w the presumption of, 'well the cobras worked hard and deserved to win and were kids and didn't do anything that bad really after all daniel fought back and mouthed off to JOHNNY despite the truce and and--' kind of defeats the point? like being revisionist toward a villain who's a villain for their white privilege is.....like coming out Beauty and the Beast going like, that Gaston had some points tho, the Beast WAS kinda rude!!!!

which to be sure is probably disney's next live action reboot plot but like. come on.

[57sfinest]

What do you think about Evrart Claire? You mentioned you think about him in one of your tags I think.

okay i will first direct to you to trusted mutual @sydmarch for the most in-depth evrart thoughts with the appropriate warning for nsfw lmfaoo

but like. evrart is one of those characters where you have an initial knee-jerk reaction to them and then you kinda have to reevaluate after all is said and done because you get a LOT more context on them as you go.

most shallowly, you're meant to see evrart as the slimy "fantastically corrupt" union (mob) boss who sits in his office embezzling and making others do his dirty work (the hardies as his enforcement, you as his little errand dog, you get the point). however, a first point i want to make is that comparing a justified labor or civil rights advocate group to a "mob" is such a ubiquitous piece of capitalist/bigot rhetoric that it should automatically clue you in to the fact that something else is going on here. also taken in context with the fact that kortenaer poses as a scab to break the strike, further framing the union as a lazy, entitled, unreasonable splinter faction of stupid socialists-- obviously we know that the people who made this game are leftists, so it's not just Ough Unions Bad. there is Something Else Going On! because we are seeing this union strike filtered primarily through the lens of someone who is, consciously or not, a moralintern lackey! even at his most self-aware, calling himself the moralintern's bitch, harry does not have enough awareness of the world and his role in it to recognize how he is being manipulated by the various agendas at play here, and that affects our perception of it.

i think evrart presents as corrupt and weaselly on purpose! again syd has said a lot of this already & i've added some stuff in their tags, but i'll reiterate here for convenience. he is aware of the rhetoric people can use against him and he uses that to his advantage. he's using his personal reputation as misdirection. we see in dialogue that even joyce, an ultraliberal diehard capitalist who obviously dislikes the union, concedes that it was respectable in and of itself before the claires came in:

and we can infer that a lot of that might be because the union was *less effective before the claires took charge*. of course a capitalist will respect an ineffective labor union! but on top of this, the claires' open "corruption" give anti-union people an easy target for criticisms that serve to legitimize the union itself. oh, they say, well, the union is alright, it's just the claires that are ruining it. it's misdirection and it's genius. evrart's reputation isn't a concern if the union is doing its job, right? and here's another thing: i think people will trust open corruption more than they'll trust altruism that seems to good to be true. especially in a world with something like moralism, where this organization has killed millions and will kill *millions more* for a "greater good" that is literally just the status quo. if evrart's corruption is an open secret, as joyce puts it, people feel they can trust him *because* he's transparent about the bad things he supposedly does or supports or whatever. at least he's honest, right?

this makes the juxtaposition of evrart with joyce SUPER interesting, too. i think they both have that 'honest about their bad traits' way of going at people- joyce with her self-aware but relentless ultraliberalism, evrart with his intentionally misrepresented agendas. of the two, i think people tend to like joyce a lot more, despite her and evrart using pretty much the *same exact tactics*, and i think that tendency is largely explained by the intersection of gender and fatphobia and ingrained capitalist rhetoric, but i digress.

yes, the way evrart's little tasks are presented makes them *feel* slimy- you're evrart's peone, you're a little bitch dog running his errands to get a gun you never should have lost to begin with, he knows how to help and he's toying with you- but it's on purpose!! you can be joyce's little bitch dog too and it's not framed anywhere near as scummy. It Is On Purpose. because if evrart pretends to be the "socialist" mob boss, maybe it really does get martinaise the youth center, or enough money to, you know, fix the crumbling buildings that could kill the tenants at any moment. there are genuinely good things he is sincerely trying to accomplish. he is curating his image exactly as he needs it to be to get things done and that's partly why joyce hates him *so much*.

and of course this isn't to say that the claires never do anything wrong. contracting dros to kill the previous union head, for example. if i had to pin evrart's major sin, i think he's an "end justifies the means" type of guy. the other union head candidate needed to die for progress to be made. the fishing village will have to go so we can build martinaise up properly. some people, if not willingly cooperative- like harry- need to be used for their status regardless. we see the union at the opposite end of "for the greater good" as moralism: where moralism wants to stall the world, the union represents ruthless progression. why else the red-vs-blue juxtaposition of the union vs the moralintern and its financial interests? the red banners draped over shipping containers?

[qqueenofhades]

granny hilary, tell us about gay porn in monasteries

Oh, I KNEW that someone was going to ask for this as soon as I reblogged that post with those tags (from you, even!). So yes, Kristen, the pervert tumblr hordes thank you for your service.

As was the case in most medieval single-sex environments, the precise balance of gender politics/constant suspicion of possible queerness was a major concern for monasteries. I've written about this before in the context of military chivalry/knighthood, and how medieval society both encouraged knights to love each other more than anything (battlefield brotherhood etc etc) and worried about whether they would love each other SO much that they would then have, y'know, actual sex. This was also a prominent worry in monasteries, which shut a bunch of often-young men up together and told them to be holy and focus on prayers and not the OTHER things that young men like to think about. My esteemed colleague @oldshrewsburyian has previously written about lesbian nuns, who often formed intense emotional/romantic bonds with other nuns. Hildegard of Bingen herself is a famous example of this, and she wrote many love letters to and about another nun, Richardis von Stade, who is often described as her "intimate friend." Regardless of whether this relationship was physical or not, Hildegard also wrote about "ecstasies" experienced in spiritual union with the Virgin Mary, and other medieval female mystics did the same.

In regard to gay monks, The Name of the Rose by famed medievalist Umberto Eco presents a fictionalized version of this, where one of the monks is something of a local monastery gay playboy and has several other monk lovers who are all presumed to be jealous of each other and possibly willing to commit murder on his behalf. This was also because a large number of monks, especially at wealthier abbeys, weren't there because they had a specific or personal religious calling. It was a common career path for younger sons, getting them out of the way of their elder brother's inheritance of their father's lands and titles, and plenty of career churchmen were relatively secular and interested in worldly pleasure, no matter how hard the Cluniacs and similar reform movements tried to outlaw clergy marriage, concubinage, and other sexual sins. Clergymen were, as is also the case today, often suspected of committing sodomy on the sly or otherwise hypocritically engaging in gay sex, and monastic authors such as Peter Damian, Odo of Cluny, and others wrote endless polemical tracts insisting that priests and monks refrain from having sex with each other, and otherwise bewailing the so-called dismal state of moral relations in the church. Of course, the bulk of concern was over male monks committing sexual sins with women, but the worry over clerical sodomy was never insignificant either. The 12th-century Cistercian monk Aelred of Rievaulx also produced various writings that have been read as homosocial, homoerotic, or otherwise exalting religious same-sex male love.

We also see this gender tension a lot in terms of the accounts of women dressing up as men to enter all-male monasteries and have a male-coded religious experience. Some of them get accused of impregnating local women, which is obviously biologically impossible but may hint at an intimate relationship with said woman, and other monks often note their "attractiveness" or other physical qualities which is then used as proof in discovering their "real gender." This likewise reflects the concern that monks were finding each other attractive even when they WEREN'T secretly women (and the scholarly literature also argues over whether we should consider these women as wearing "male disguise" or as proto-transgender individuals adopting clothing and life experiences that matched their identified gender rather than their gender assigned at birth). As noted above re: Hildegard, intensely "queer" mystical religious experiences involving physical and passionate adoration of the body of Jesus Christ were also common to both genders. Men were encouraged to visualize themselves as the "bride of Christ," transcending the ordinary limits of gender and joining in mystical (and possibly sexual) union with Jesus, and women did the same thing with both Jesus and the Virgin Mary. So yes, the medieval church was a LOT more queer than all the stereotypes would have it. In many ways.

The 14th-century Lollards in England also positioned themselves as reacting against clerical/monastic sodomy and sexual sins, and the Dissolution of the Monasteries by Henry VIII also used the argument that those degenerate monks were all just in there screwing each other at all times, which was obviously rhetorical, but reflected a deeper real-world anxiety that this was in fact actually the case. So in other words: gay monks, like gay knights, absolutely did exist and deeply shaped the social rules, cultural environments, canon law, and everyday experience of their surroundings, even despite the wild unsexiness that is the tonsure haircut. Diversity win.

[annabelle--cane]

What do you think lesbians are attracted to in women that we can’t be attracted to in men?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives woman-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait women have that men can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

alright this is very much giving me "transphobic bait ask" because I haven't posted about anything remotely related to this topic at all recently (unless I fast rbed something on moblie and didn't realize lol), but for the hell of it I'll try and give it an honest answer.

I think it's about the gender you perceive someone to be and the way their gender is received and treated in social contexts. I'm bi, but I'm attracted to different things in men and women and I relate to them in different ways, and there have been times when, for instance, I've been in a new class with someone and accidentally gotten their gender wrong for weeks before being corrected, and the way I had been perceiving them changed as I adjusted the way I thought of them.

for a thought experiment: imagine you're in a work environment and you have a friend you think is a man until one day they pull you aside and confide in you that she's actually a woman and she's pulling a full mulan because of various extenuating circumstances. she looks exactly the same as she did before, still passing as a man, her behavior doesn't change, but now that you know her gender you start to see her as a nonconforming woman instead of a conforming man. maybe you're not into butch girlbosses with secrets, idk, but I think most people who are only attracted to women could hypothetically be into her.

also, re: that last thing you said, I think all sexualities are cultural performances because everything we do and identify ourselves with are cultural performances. like, sure, my eyes being green is an inherent trait I've had from birth, but that only has any significance because we as a society have decided it does. what if I was born on the planet schmorpopolis where they identify colors by intensity rather than hue. my eyes wouldn't be green there, they'd just be kinda mid. it's a bit of a moot point to talk about because I don't think we're ever going to achieve a society where we fully stop assigning any significance to gender, but I think it's worth noting that we 100% made this all up when we didn't have to.

[honeybee-babe]

Exposing D@isuki21, now f!v3y@h3@rtsf!ktor: toxic person in the TUA Fandom who has borderline web-stalked and harassed queer minors w/ homophobic abuse

MAJOR Trigger Warnings: Homophobia, Lesbophobia, mention of and harassment to do with r@pe, telling ppl to unalive themselves, borderline web-stalking, homohpbic slurs hurled at minors... basically think of the most abusive online conduct you could imagine

“I WISH YOU DIE DISGUSTING LESBIAN BITCH, UNNATURAL”

“"GO CRYING DIRTY AND STUPID LESBIAN BITCH"

(said to a 15 year old via Instagram DM...)

Hey Umbrella Academy Fandom. As you all know, this fandom has a lot of discourse and lets be honest, bitching and moaning over minor disagreements about a character’s sexuality, ships, inc3st, p3dophila, etc. I've had my fair sure of admittedly immature pissing contests on here over minor disagreements, as I'm sure many of you have, and I'm not trying to act like I'm perfect. I’ve made myself into a clown many times.

But there is one user in particular who is a raging homophobe/lesbophobe and has been incredibly abusive to others on this site for years....  

Go to where it says THE WORST OF IT to skip the intro if you know about her general bullshit, to see the actual borderline stalking + homophobic harassment of minors. Scroll to the very end for screenshots. 

BASIC CONTEXT:

This user currently goes by the URL fiv3y@h3@rtsf!ktor and used to go by D@isuki21, and various other iterations of that name/various others and has made multiple accounts, always to pass herself off as a different person. I have interacted with her before, and I know many individuals who have been targeted by her since at least 2020 (probably earlier), and she’s still on her bullshit. But the distinctive communication style and sheer ridiculousness of her statements makes it very clear that it’s the same person. Namely, her wording is very fucked up and full of typos and misspellings, and reads very much like a child throwing a temper tantrum. She often dissolves into overuse of emojis especially the 🤡 emoji (ironic if you ask me).

So I wasn’t going to say anything, but I just learned from my new pal @ultimate--sheep​ some new information that was the final straw, and we both decided we had to say something. 

WHAT WE KNOW:

This person is 23 years old (though she acts like she’s 15), she is a MASSIVE 5ya stan and while I’m sure there are many wonderful people who ship 5ya, this person is NOT one of them, and she gives the ship a bad rep with her incredibly immature, problematic behavior. She basically picks fights by going into “rival” ships’ tags (IE Vissy) and into the “Anti 5ya ” tag (which is obviously intended to be blacklisted by 5ya shippers and used to keep 5ya shippers from seeing it, unless the 5ya shipper is D@isuki and  is deliberately looking for a fight) and then she harasses people simply for shipping Viktor with someone other than Five.

In particular she used to go off on people who used to headcanon/perceive season 2 Viktor as a lesbian. She would also get into fights with people for pointing out that 5ya is incest/psuedo-incest + pseudo-pedophila in the Anti- 5ya tag – she got mad at me once because asked her to admit that it was at least pseudo-incest (I specified that I wasn’t judging her for shipping incest, but for denying that it was incest to begin with – you can’t have a ship called ‘Harcest’ and claim it’s not incest it’s IN THE NAME). She called me various childish nicknames, I don’t remember everything…

She harasses people and frames it as 'arguments' but it's 90% incoherent nonsense, name-calling, straw man bullshit, and then she blocks them and tells them "DNI" and makes posts to her followers AFTER she has blocked the person telling her followers vitriolic BS about how the other person is an idiot and an "anti."

HOW WE ( D@isuki & I) MET:

I don't 100% remember how we met but you can scroll through my page to find receipts. I think what happened is that she responded to someone else's post I saw describing their headcanons for the characters’ sexuality (one of those things that were like ‘Five and Luther are ace’, ‘allison and diego are bi’, ‘V is a lesbian’ etc.). The OP called pre transition Viktor a lesbian and D@isuki WENT OFF on them saying they were biphobic, etc. Her argument claimed it was biphobia but they were also complaining about why "you don't need to make everyone LGBT" which like ????????? you don’t sound like that great of an ally, hon. and it's a HEADCANON. Let people live. And when I argued that V could be a lesbian and Leonard could have very easily been comphet, she claimed that comphet “doesn’t exist anymore in the 21st century…” (I stg… i cant make this shit up)

Anyways… she frequently not only changes her url but I believe make new accounts to harass ppl through. And then she denies it when people identify her (see the below from when I recently called her out:

“Changing my username makes me crazy? Weak argument I say so myself also I’m not d@isuki-21 wow the fact you assume I’m them makes me realize you’re obsessed with them. I never block you or anyone in your anti 5ya community.”

(bro how obvious can you be…)

THE WORST OF IT:

I wasn't going to even say anything about this person, except I recently met Juno @ultimate--sheep​, who informed me that D@isuki also is on Instagram and has gotten into a similar argument with them, and then somehow found (IE stalked) them on Reddit too and proceeded to harass them on there too,  telling them they "must habe been r@ped a lot when they were a child" and that their art (Viktor w/ a lesbian flag) is "disgusting and biphobic," and told them to get "psychological help" for pointing out homophobia from 5ya shippers.

She also:

–Stole Juno's art twice (took their lesbian pride Viktor artwork and changed it to a bi flag).

–Made several abusive comments on their lesbian friends insta posts calling Vissy “disgusitng”

–Took a picture of Juno’s ex-friend’s Insta profile, who was a 15 year old MINOR (remember, this b*tch is 23 YEARS OLD) and wrote over it: "Disgusting lesbian looking for sex. Prostitute”

–Targeted Juno’s friend again on IG taking pictures of Sissy and putting stink marks on them, writing abusive things like "DIE", etc.

And the worst one… messaging the same MINOR (age 15) and telling them:

“I WISH YOU DIE DISGUSTING LESBIAN BITCH, UNNATURAL”

“"GO CRYING DIRTY AND STUPID LESBIAN BITCH"

IN CONCLUSION:

Guys.... I am a bisexual woman, and if it isn’t already clear enough, there is no way in hell that this person is “defending a bisexual character” and standing up against biphobia. This person is anti-LGBT and anti WLW PERIOD! She is a homphobe and a heinous person in general who frames herself as being an ally ONLY when it serves the 5ktor/5ya ship.

And listen, I want to be clear on this: I’m not saying shipping5ya makes you a bad person – but how can you ship something that is pseudo-incest and then turn around and call a normal ass, CANON lesbian ship “unnatural” and “disgusting?”

This is not the behavior of a mentally healthy person -- but that is not an excuse. I am asking you for your safety to report/not interact with this person if you see them/have any suspicions that it’s them. It is not worth your time and I am genuinely concerned that the stalking and harassment behavior could turn into something more serious.

SCREENSHOTS:

[starfallskitter]

The Guardian Alya Theory

Hi! Didn't expect to be writing Miraculous theory again so quickly, but I have an idea in my head that I needed to get out there. So hear me out.

Warning: major spoilers for Season 4 all throughout this theory. Specifically Gang of Secrets, Optigami, Truth, Furious Fu, Mr Pigeon 72... just, most of them.

In short, the theory is this: Marinette will discover that she can't be both Ladybug and the Guardian at the same time, and will make Alya the Guardian. Marinette's memory will be wiped and she will spend a few episodes re-learning how to be Ladybug, and re-learning Chat Noir, which will obviously change their relationship.

This means Alya will know who Chat Noir is. And I think, for a brief time before her memory is wiped, Marinette will know as well. Meaning: temporary one-sided reveal!

Now, here's all the evidence, below the cut.

There's a fundamental problem with Ladybug and the Guardian being the same person. There's the stress it places on Marinette, sure, and the Guardian certainly can have a Miraculous and use it, but the problem is right here:

Someone has to be the link between civilian identities, and right now Plagg and Tikki are the only ones who know- and that's useless when both heros are transformed. The Guardian needs to know the identity of both Ladybug and Chat Noir. And if there's one thing that the show has absolutely beaten into us by now...

It's that they can't know each others.

So, there's a fundamental tension here. Marinette is currently putting all of her focus on being the Guardian, on working with the kwamis and figuring things out about the Miracle Box; and as her plans increasingly involve her role as Guardian, using kwamis or the fact that Alya knows her civilian identity, she's not quite being Ladybug properly. She's not doing right by Chat Noir, because now, as her plans are increasingly involving things she as Marinette and/or she as the Guardian have access to, and Chat Noir is not knowingly included in either of those, he is being ousted. It turns out she still needs him (or Plagg, in Mr Pigeon 72) for her plans, but her relationship with him is suffering.

He says in Truth that he doesn't mind her being the Guardian as long as it doesn't change things between them:

Except it is changing, and it has been bothering him. Just look at his face when he realises (or more accurately, assumes) the akuma has been defeated without him in Optigami:

He is not happy.

I'm sure I don't need to tell anyone at this point that Ladybug is ousting Chat Noir and he's upset by it. At this point in the series he's doing okay about it, still managing to keep up a front and hoping this is temporary. Which, according to this theory, it is. Honestly, no matter how this goes, it's not going to make Chat happy, because in this theory, the ending won't please him. We'll get to that.

So Marinette can't be Guardian and Ladybug at the same time. So, she has to give one up.

She may try to give up being Ladybug, but I'm not convinced this will happen. She may try to give over guardianship to Su Han, but I'm also not convinced by this- it's not narratively interesting and seems to contradict the conclusion of Furious Fu. So, what might she do?

Well, there's a clear answer. Someone who's already helping figure out important features of the Miraculouses, who was able to figure out a whole new power of the Ladybug Miraculous:

And who has good investigative powers to reveal more secrets? Who is already heavily invested in the superheros? Who already knows that Marinette is Ladybug and is already helping her?

And who has Marinette possibly already said she's training up to be Guardian?

Now, whether she's reffering to being Ladybug or being the Guardian here is unclear. I've seen most interpretations suggesting she means Ladybug, and from the wording in this case it honestly seems like both; but it could definitely be either. And in the context of this theory, if we assume she means Guardian, then it's clear that Marinette is already noticing that Alya would make a good Guardian.

So, let's put the pieces together.

Premise: Ladybug and Chat Noir cannot know each other's identity until this Hawkmoth is defeated. Premise: The Guardian must know both Ladybug and Chat Noir's identity. Conclusion: Ladybug and the Guardian cannot be the same person at this point in time. (Chat Noir can't be either).

Premise: Ladybug and the Guardian cannot be the same person at this point in time. Premise: Alya would be a good Guardian. Premise: Marinette either will not, or should not, give up being Ladybug. Conclusion: Marinette will make Alya the Guardian.

There are two complications with this plan. One is in Alya being the Guardian, and one is in Marinette giving it up.

The complication with Alya being the guardian is that Hawkmoth knows her identity. He knows she's Rena Rouge, and as of Optigami knows that Rena Rouge is special as opposed to the other holders. This appears to not be stopping Marinette giving her the Miraculous, but obviously, based on the events of late season 3, it's more of a complication in her being the Guardian. She has, like, parents, and can't hide like Master Fu could.

A possible solution is some kind of trickery, in which they make it look like Alya has lost her miraculous, and make it seem like Ladybug's still the Guardian. I mean, Alya's miraculous is illusion-based, and this could be interesting if it's post one-sided reveal discussed below. I'm sure there are other solutions as well, but off the top of my head I'd assume that would be the plan. Perhaps the Box is camoflaged such that finding out what of Alya's is the Miracle Box at all would be a challenge. There's a lot of possibility.

The other complication: Marinette would lose all memory of the Miraculouses.

Now, it's presumed here that the way the memory loss works is that it happens every time (and it's not like the appearance of the box, or kwamis being in/out of it, in that it's a factor of what the owner believes), and that the memory loss only applies to the Miraculouses and the kwamis and all of that, and doesn't affect other memories- which seems to be Fu's experience of it, after all. He doesn't remember Marinette because he only ever knew her as Ladybug, but he seemed to remember the unrelated Marianne fine.

This means that if Marinette loses guardianship, she'll remember Alya, Adrien, her family, etc... but nothing about Ladybug, Chat Noir, Hawkmoth, Tikki, any of that.

Which means:

-She'll have to spend some amount of time re-learning how to be Ladybug, who Chat Noir is, etc. all of that. Chat Noir will probably be able to fill her in on all of this, and so will Alya and Tikki, so it won't take so long.

-She gets a total reset on her relationship with Chat Noir. Which I highly doubt he'll be happy with- but it might change her view of him. I say it might change her view of him because mainly, while their relationship has been pretty consistent, she definitely is starting to like him more in this season, seeing him differently- and I largely think that that's due to a change in circumstance, as Marinette can only trust so many people in her life:

But I think an important part of Adrien's character recently is that we've seen less dichotomy between Adrien and Chat Noir. His true personality is a little of both, but he puts both on to play various roles; but honestly, I've noticed some more of Adrien in Chat Noir, and some more of Chat Noir in Adrien. He's being more honest with himself around some people, the self we only really see him being with Plagg, which he was trying to be with Kagami and is increasingly being with Marinette. It's hard to provide specific examples, though.

But if Marinette's first impressions of Chat Noir are just a touch more Adrien-like than they were, perhaps her feelings towards him will change- without losing that aspect of trust. I know I'm being very vague here, but there's a lot of potential and it'll take a lot more episodes of this season than we've seen to predict how this might go.

It's also possible that Marinette will remember Chat Noir when she met him as Marinette. Then we might get some great Marichat, or her only having knowledge of him as that boy who came to her ledge or she fake-dated. Which would be interesting. It's not totally clear how this will work if it occurs, so it's up to the writers really.

So that situation provides a lot of angst: Ladybug forgetting Chat Noir. But what comes before her forgetting Chat Noir could be something really interesting. After all, if the Guardian must know Chat Noir's identity, perhaps Marinette will try that first. Adrien will, of course, trust her completely.

Cue at least one episode where Marinette knows that Chat Noir and Adrien are the same person (while Adrien not knowing the reverse). Cue Ladrien. And, right after that, an episode that revolves around Ladybug erasing those memories. While Alya knows everything that just happened. And that Chat Noir is Adrien. And she can't tell Marinette this as she has to re-teach her how to be Ladybug. Honestly, if any character knows what we as the audience know about the Love Square, it makes perfect sense that it's Alya.

In conclusion: angsty season finale that ends with Alya knowing everything, Chat Noir Very Upset, Ladybug getting a memory reset, and just generally everything changing? It's more likely than you think.

[midnightactual]

As a POC, has Yoruichi faced any discrimination or odd situations wandering Japan in her free time?

I've sort of touched on Japanese attitudes toward her before, and I think that analysis generally holds up. Before going further, it bears repeating that this portrayal of Yoruichi is Indo-Japanese with supernatural elements, and obviously the following only holds given that; different backgrounds for her would produce different results, so other variants may have wildly different receptions depending on their backgrounds.

To go a little deeper beyond the above analysis of reception and speculation, while Japan has admittedly had a preference for lighter skin for well over a millennium, things are sort of complicated. Some interesting quotes from the last article since it's publicly available:

The skin tones of Japanese people are recognized and expressed as a dichotomy of ‘white’ and ‘black’ in Japan, and this dichotomy of skin tone is usually expressed with reference to many other dichotomies. In 1994, I conducted a socio-linguistic survey concerning the cognitive perceptions of white skin and of dark skin among the Japanese people, which revealed that white skin represented multiple meanings (Ashikari, 1995). I collected 1868 nouns and adjectives, which were associated by 163 subjects with the image of white skin and of dark skin. These words fell into a variety of dichotomies: such as white/black – weak/strong, infirm/healthy, cute/wild, beautiful/ugly, womanly/manly, wimpy/brave, clean/dirty, sophisticated/vulgar, conservative/liberal and so on. The survey suggests that white skin has different implications in different contexts, and white skin can have both positive and negative connotations in the everyday life of contemporary Japan. Regardless of the multiple meanings of white skin, the expression ‘your colour is white’ is widely taken as praise, while ‘your colour is black’ is taken as an insult. Most of my informants seemed to find it unacceptable that one should say ‘your skin is dark’, to someone’s face.

Many informants, both men and women, insisted that white skin was the ideal only for women, and that dark skin was the ideal for men. But on many occasions, the dark skin of Japanese men, as well as of Japanese women, was spoken of negatively, as opposed to an ‘ideal’ white skin.

The skin of Japanese people has a tendency to tan quickly, except for the skin of some very fair Japanese, which just becomes red through sunburn for a few days and never goes dark. It was also said by some of my informants that tanned skin looked healthy, while pale skin looked unhealthy and effeminate. In Japan, the distinction between naturally dark skin (jiguro) and tanned skin (hiyake) is significant. There is a whole range of expressions which describe sun-tanned skin (for both men and women) resulting from various leisure activities, such as sukī-yake (suntanned skin as a result of skiing), tenisu-yake (sun-tanned skin as a result of playing tennis), gorufu-yake (sun-tanned skin as a result of playing golf), Hawai-yake (sun-tanned skin as a result of travelling in Hawaii) and so on. All the words, which have become prevalent since the 1980s, emphasize that one’s dark skin is the result of leisure activities, not of working outdoors, and also that one’s dark skin is not hereditary dark skin. As long as people know the person’s dark skin is a tanned skin resulting from some leisure activity, talking about the dark skin in front of the person is acceptable. However, it is difficult even for native Japanese to tell whether someone’s dark skin is naturally dark, or the result of a suntan. Both are equally dark.

Dark skin can sometimes have positive connotations. Yet talking about someone’s dark skin in front of them, whichever sex they are, is usually considered to be a social taboo in Japan.

I think these speak for themselves, and paint a picture that Yoruichi's complexion would be taken as somewhat confounding (it would 'flag' her as more masculine, with those attendant values of strong, healthy, wild, brave, and vulgar) and would be immediately arresting. Having said that, enough of the rest of her—both contemporarily and historically—automatically reads as Japanese (facial structure, language skill, clothing in the past) that any suspicion would rather quickly subside.

Given the difficulty in discerning why someone's skin is dark, once she was 'flagged' as Japanese I think it would largely cease to be a factor in how she was treated, as everything revolving around it would be merely speculation. Her gender, perceived class, attitude, and contextual situation would matter far more.

In short: no, I don't think she's ever really been overtly discriminated against in Japan, and certainly not in the present. People certainly stare sometimes, but usually not for too long, as her appearance is arresting, but she's mostly just perceived as unusual for one reason or another.

Now, she's certainly faced discrimination elsewhere at various points in time, in a wide variety of different fashions depending on the place, time, and circumstance, but in Japan she's largely just been a passing curiosity.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

And while it hasn't convinced me that Louis is a father, it has convinced me that he's committed to performing being a father at the moment, which I never have been before.

I'm really curious about this part. And it's really interesting to me that you said that. Because to me, Louis always seemed to be committed to performing being a father but with different degrees. Because I remember him announcing his birth via a tweet and then when Freddie was just a few months old Louis brought him to Doncaster and then that time with Danielle on the beach( I always thought they were going with the girlfriend loves my child and we're all one big happy family narrative but Briana unexpectedly came in and ruined it). He also used to tweet about him and post pictures of him. And also he talks about him in interviews.

My question is why do you think he wasn't committed before?

So a couple of things here - one is what I meant when I said that Louis was committed to performing being a father and the other what I made of what I saw in 2016.

Like I said to the other anon, I'd be interested to know how you engaged with this at the time. It seems like you were noticing, but weren't hanging on every detail, which is a reasonable way to view it and I'm sure it looked more convincing that way.

As I said to the previous anon, what was so noticeable in the first few months of 2016 was that there was no coherence to the story they were telling, it was removed from context, and there was no sense of intimacy. I think the lack of context is probably the most noticeable. He was papped so often doing things with Freddie that he had no reason to do except to get papped. The photos of him and Freddie were rarely natural, and instead on weird white backgrounds (I don't think they were photoshopped, but they weren't in any context).

Now I don't think any of this tells us much about whether Louis is Freddie's father. Because I do think if he was the father it would have been messy (as I've said before I think most of what happened from April 2016 onwards, and even more so what happened from January 2017 onwards is reasonably consistent with a father who isn't that engaged. And what's happened recently would also fit with that same father trying harder). But I do think it suggests various weirdness about how Louis was negotiating that time in public. (I remember thinking at the time, as Oli and Louis were photographed in a mall eating pizza - how is this people trying to be convincing? Did Oli and Louis come up with this stoned? Do they need a consultant).

When I said that Louis is committed to performing being a father I meant something quite specific. Obviously he has performed being a father ever since Freddie was born. But until recently it always felt reactive - like he was going along with something that had been set up. It didn't feel like there was any effort to tell a specific story or convince people, instead it felt like the question was 'how do we get through this bit' - whether it was a pap pic or an interview. (Again I don't think this tells us anything about whether he was a father. It'd be quite normal for him to be quite unsure about how to relate to the fact he was a father in public under the circumstances).

What is different about what happened this year is that it was proactive not reactive, coherent and portrayed in a believable way (with context of his life and an appropriate amount of intimacy).

[thewadapan]

Pouncing on this post because I love writing blurbs, summaries, chapter titles, anything but the work itself really, c'est la vie.

It's definitely my experience that a lot of Alexander Wales fiction is kind of hard to sum up in words. I've had people ask me about This Used to be About Dungeons and Thresholder, and I always kind of stumble over what they're actually about, because the truth is they're both way down the rabbit hole of these niche microgenres—dungeon stories, jumpchain—but they're written to be these standalone novels, not as derivative works that assume basic pre-existing familiarity with these genres, like a lot of contemporary webfiction on somewhere like RoyalRoad. For the logline, you can't just say like, "dungeon-delving story dun good", or "jumpchain dun good", you have to approach it from this entirely in-universe perspective. In the case of Thresholder especially, that is such a sprawling and wide-ranging story that at most points would bear little resemblance to its logline.

I guess my question would be like, okay, but if we limit it strictly to films—which by their nature usually have much tighter plotlines than long-form works—are there that many examples where it really is impossible to reverse-engineer a compelling logline? I kind of feel like I could do it for most films that I like. It would have to be exception, not the rule.

Also, it's been said, but god, that Dark Wizard of Donkerk logline really begs the question of why it's called that if there's two Dark Wizards. Yeah that's a good-ass novel with a serious marketing problem.

Anyway I can't help myself so here are some loglines, for various original stories I've put serious time into developing but which are unlikely to see the light of day anytime soon:

Echo Chamber: In a post-apocalyptic world where everyone has weird superpowers and no memory of how they got there, a person with the ability to clone themselves infinitely joins a superhero team to stop an army of villains and find out where they came from. (The cloning power, which is the main focus/appeal, is a buried lede here. The villain-army comes across as random and generic. The ontological mystery isn't well-expressed.)

On Tilt: Transported to a fantasy civilization spread out across an infinite ski slope, a teenager from Earth must discover why the slope has started tilting, before it becomes too steep for anyone to survive there. (I love infinite worlds, apocalypse fiction, and isekai, so you're gonna see a few recurring themes here. This one is fine but sort of begs the question of what an Earth teenager is doing in this story at all. Buddy, I've been asking that from the start, so no wonder this one never got off the ground.)

Hollows & Humans: An adventuring party of dragons set out to steal a rare piece of treasure for their hoards... from the fortress of a fearsome human dragon-slayer. (I think this one's pretty good. It coheres, and it obviously has that irony Snyder was banging on about.)

Romance @ The Rig!: The hottest new reality streaming show puts a dozen contestants on a converted oil rig resort to find true love, win YOUR votes, and try very hard not to think about the fact there might not be a world to go back to. (Mostly happy with this one too, although the setting's background context is a little too vague and tacked-on. The title is very much a placeholder though, I hate it.)

UNICORN PRINCESS APOCALYPSE!: A princess wakes up 100 years after the fall of her father's kingdom, and sets out to reunite her people and kill the immortal necromancer responsible for the apocalypse. (I was really happy with this concept when I came up with it, but it is very derivative, and I do feel like this logline inadvertently omits all the details that made my take compelling.)

[Title is a spoiler]: Twelve years after the accident that ended his career, an aging ex-trucker discovers that a UFO crash-landing was to blame, and must guide the extra-terrestrial on a dangerous journey back up one of Canada's winter roads before the ice melts.

That's the one I should be working on right now, actually. Sorry, I've been wasting a lot of time on tumblr today. Let me leave you with a poll—

Save the Cat is a snappy read, and only 8 chapters, so I'm just doing a liveblog of them unless I get bored or distracted.

Chapter one is about the pitch, the logline, the title, what you put on a poster and how you sell it. It doesn't necessarily come first, but I get the sense that for Snyder this would be his preferred way of doing it. (A logline is just the one-sentence "what is it about" that you use to sell people on the idea.)

Snyder says that writing loglines is awful, soul-crushing work, and I agree there. I'm awful at it. But Snyder also says that if you don't have a good logline, maybe there's something wrong with your movie, and that I don't agree with.

I think there's a fairly wide set of stories that have good, snappy, easy loglines, and are also good stories. But I think there are other stories that are good stories and don't have a great way to pitch them. The lack of a good pitch can exist for a lot of reasons, and sometimes it's just that it's more complex than can be summed up in a single sentence, or even a handful of sentences. I think in practice writers will often dumb down the story for the logline, lying about what's contained within, just to make sure that it will sell, that people will want to know what's inside.

One of the other main points of the chapter is that a good logline has irony to it, a twist inherent in the title, some kind of thematic tension, and I disagree with that too, maybe not from the standpoint of selling a script, but from the standpoint of storytelling.

Why does everything have to have an irony to it? Why does everything have to have a twist? Why can't we have stories that are just well-told explorations of conflict and character? It's like at some point people decided that they only wanted Distinct Pieces of Media, so if you wanted to tell a story that's been told before, something with its own unique texture, you're just shit out of luck.

I find this all the more irritating because often the twist/irony/idea/pitch is good, and then the execution is shit, and then people don't want that idea again. It's not like you can say "like that thing that flopped, but good".

Blake Snyder is trying to tell good stories, but he's also trying to sell stories, and this is a good thing for authors to know how to do. I accept this. I just don't like it.

So as a writing exercise, here are some loglines for things I've written, without the amount of care and polish and revision that a good logline needs:

Worth the Candle - A teenaged dungeonmaster gets thrust into the worlds he's created, where his recently deceased friend is a historical figure. (This is bad, not short and snappy enough.)

This Used to be About Dungeons - Five young adults team up to delve dungeons and bake pies. (I don't know man, I said I was bad at this.)

Thresholder - A man travels through portals to different worlds and genres, gathering powers and skills as he fights other people just like him.

Shadows of the Limelight - In a world where fame gives you power, a fanboy saves the life of the world's greatest hero in full view of the public.

The Dark Wizard of Donkerk - An orphan raised by two dark wizards adventures north with a wayward princess.

Millennial Scarlet - A gig-economy demon hunter grapples with the death of his mother and the plans she set up before she passed.

Alright, I found that less soul-sucking than usual, but I don't think that these are the oiled, muscular, perfectly toned and smiling loglines that are necessary to sell, just to be clear. The marketing unit of written fiction is not really the logline, though that helps, it's the blurb, and I am equally awful at writing those. I just don't agree with Blake Snyder that a blurb or logline coming poorly is a sign that you don't know the story.